The Tim Ferriss Show - #571: Boyd Varty — The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life
Episode Date: February 16, 2022Brought to you by Wealthfront automated investing, Athletic Greens all-in-one nutritional supplement, and Helix Sleep premium mattresses. More on all t...hree below.Boyd Varty (@boydvarty) is the author of two books, The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life and his memoir, Cathedral of the Wild. He has been featured in The New York Times, on NBC, and in other media and has taught his philosophy of “tracking your life” to individuals and companies around the world.Boyd is a wildlife and literacy activist who has spent the last ten years refining the art of using wilderness as a place for deep introspection and personal transformation. He grew up in South Africa on Londolozi Game Reserve, a former hunting ground that was transformed into a nature preserve by Boyd’s father and uncle—both visionaries of the restoration movement. Under his family’s stewardship, the Reserve became renowned not only as a sanctuary for animals but as a place where once-ravaged land was able to flourish again and where the human spirit could be restored. When Nelson Mandela was released after 27 years of imprisonment, he went to Londolozi to recover.Boyd has a degree in psychology from the University of South Africa. He is a TED speaker and the host of the Track Your Life podcast.This episode is brought to you by Wealthfront! Wealthfront pioneered the automated investing movement, sometimes referred to as ‘robo-advising,’ and they currently oversee $20 billion of assets for their clients. It takes about three minutes to sign up, and then Wealthfront will build you a globally diversified portfolio of ETFs based on your risk appetite and manage it for you at an incredibly low cost. Smart investing should not feel like a rollercoaster ride. Let the professionals do the work for you. Go to Wealthfront.com/Tim and open a Wealthfront account today, and you’ll get your first $5,000 managed for free, for life. Wealthfront will automate your investments for the long term. Get started today at Wealthfront.com/Tim.*This episode is also brought to you by Helix Sleep! Helix was selected as the #1 overall mattress of 2020 by GQ magazine, Wired, Apartment Therapy, and many others. With Helix, there’s a specific mattress to meet each and every body’s unique comfort needs. Just take their quiz—only two minutes to complete—that matches your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress for you. They have a 10-year warranty, and you get to try it out for a hundred nights, risk free. They’ll even pick it up from you if you don’t love it. And now, Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders plus two free pillows at HelixSleep.com/Tim.*This episode is also brought to you by Athletic Greens. I get asked all the time, “If you could use only one supplement, what would it be?” My answer is usually AG1 by Athletic Greens, my all-in-one nutritional insurance. I recommended it in The 4-Hour Body in 2010 and did not get paid to do so. I do my best with nutrient-dense meals, of course, but AG further covers my bases with vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced micronutrients that support gut health and the immune system. Right now, Athletic Greens is offering you their Vitamin D Liquid Formula free with your first subscription purchase—a vital nutrient for a strong immune system and strong bones. Visit AthleticGreens.com/Tim to claim this special offer today and receive the free Vitamin D Liquid Formula (and five free travel packs) with your first subscription purchase! That’s up to a one-year supply of Vitamin D as added value when you try their delicious and comprehensive all-in-one daily greens product.*Setting the scene. [05:44]How the Londolozi Game Reserve came to be, and what happened during Boyd’s childhood that instilled him with a “get on with it” attitude. [08:02]Why did Boyd’s father and uncle insist on keeping the property that would become the Londolozi Game Reserve when, at the time, it was considered useless, overgrazed wasteland? [10:18]Boyd shares what it was like growing up as a regular passenger/survivor of The White Knuckle Charter Company. [12:25]How a man named Ken Tinley and the native Shangaan trackers helped a trio of teenagers transform their expanse of scrub-encroached land into a thriving safari business. [21:03]On the ancient lineage of the Shangaan trackers, and how the local wildlife came to trust the human caretakers of Londolozi. [27:05]Renias Mhlongo is supreme among world-class trackers — and sometimes the importance of the work outweighs the will of his clients. [32:21]Which animals are hardest to track at Londolozi — even if you happen to be Richard Siwela? [37:53]Because nature can be unpredictable, how do people protect themselves in Londolozi? [41:03]“I don’t know where we’re going, but I know exactly how to get there.” —Renias Mhlongo [42:56]How the tracking process has changed for Boyd over the years — from confident child to young adult traumatized by a home invasion and crocodile attack to competent grown-up thanks to people like Dr. Martha Beck and Solly Mhlongo. [45:00]What is Ubuntu? [1:02:50]Boyd talks about that time he lived 40 days and 40 nights up a tree — the questions he was trying to answer for himself by doing so, the primal fear he experienced while waiting out a storm, the pros and cons of extreme solitude, and if he’d do it again. [1:05:15]Stories about bees, the birds who help humans rob them, and the power of the hive algorithm. [1:17:45]The dos and don’ts of interacting with lions in the wild. [1:29:42]On the eerie conversation of death, modern confirmation of ancient myths, and the inexplicable movements of beasts and men. [1:34:16]How did Boyd’s own path toward healing after trauma differ from the way his mother and sister recovered from a trauma they experienced? [1:39:57]What is ceremony work, and how can it help someone deal with trauma? [1:43:32]What Boyd means when he says “an authentic life infused with meaning is a kind of activism.” [1:46:40]How Boyd and I have both been affected by the Work of Byron Katie. [1:52:03]Boyd’s first medicine encounter in an Arizona sweat lodge, and what he took away from the experience. [1:56:31]Feelings. Nothing more than feelings. [2:02:49]Kudus and nightjars and leopards in the fire (oh, my)! What a close encounter with a beautiful predator taught Boyd about Ubuntu. [2:04:14]Examining the therapeutic value of spending time with animals. [2:13:05]Laurens van der Post poetically described the sound of a lion’s roar. And, in a packed presentation hall at a major Silicon Valley company, Boyd did not. [2:17:57]An invitation to visit Londolozi and other parting thoughts. [2:22:10]*For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsors.Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (“5-Bullet Friday”) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss YouTube: youtube.com/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Balaji Srinivasan, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, Dr. Michio Kaku, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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What if I did the opposite?
I'm a cybernetic organism, living tissue over metal endoskeleton.
The Tim Ferriss Show.
Hello, boys and girls, ladies and germs.
This is Tim Ferriss.
Welcome to another episode of The Tim Ferriss Show. I am so supremely excited about my guest today. I have been hoping to have
him on for a very long time indeed. His name is Boyd Vardy. You can find him on Twitter at
Boyd Vardy, B-O-Y-D-V-A-R-T-Y. He is the author of two books, The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life
and his memoir, Cathedral of the Wild. He's been featured in the New York Times, NBC, and other media and has taught his philosophy of tracking your life
to individuals and companies around the world. I happen to know quite a few of those individuals.
In fact, Boyd is a wildlife and literacy activist who has spent the last 10 years refining the art
of using wilderness as a place for deep introspection and personal transformation.
He grew up in South Africa on Londolozi Game Reserve, a former hunting ground that was transformed into a nature preserve by
Boyd's father and uncle, both visionaries of the restoration movement. Under his family's
stewardship, the reserve became renowned not only as a sanctuary for animals, but as a place where
once ravaged land was able to flourish again and where the human spirit could be restored.
When Nelson Mandela was released after 27 years of imprisonment, he came to Londolozi Game Reserve to recover. Boyd has a degree in psychology from
the University of South Africa. He is a TED speaker and the host of the Track Your Life
podcast as well. You can find him online at boydvardy.com, B-O-Y-D-V-A-R-T-Y.com,
on Twitter at Boyd Vardy, Instagram at Boyd underscore Vardy. Boyd, welcome to the show, my friend.
Tim, thanks for having me, man. Great to be with you.
It is great to see you. And I'm sad we're not doing this in person, but I'm also happy that
you can share a bit about your surroundings. So where is this conversation finding you right now?
Okay, so I'm on the Londolozi Game Reserve in the wild eastern
part of South Africa. I'm sitting in my thatched cottage and I'm looking out the window. The river
runs below me and currently there is a herd of elephants that are moving down from the far
northern bank of the river to come and feed on the delicious, spongy palm trees in the river.
So that should give you a little bit of a sense. They're two huge ebony trees that kind of frame
the house. And a couple of weeks ago, a leopard hoisted its kill into the tree next to the kind
of veranda of the house. So that should sort of set the scene for people a little bit.
You know, I had a dead bird on my porch two days ago, and I see a squirrel
out to my right. So I feel like we're kind of on equal footing there.
Totally, totally.
Now, a couple things. One, I want to tell you that I don't think I've told you actually,
Boyd, and I'm going to pack it up front because I think that I am ashamed of not telling you
earlier. So here, you can see it. And for of not telling you earlier. So here you can see it.
And for those who are watching video on YouTube, you can see it. I've got a copy of your book here,
which you were kind enough to inscribe for me. It's The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life. I've had
this for a while now, full of highlights. I read it again yesterday. And this is one of only a
handful of books that has a dedicated shelf in my guest bedroom at home.
So in other words, when people come and visit, I have a few shelves.
So you have The Gift, which is of Hafez poems translated by Daniel Ladinsky.
Then you have How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan.
Then you have Awareness by Anthony DiBello.
And then you have The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life by Boyd Vardy.
So you have an entire shelf that people are encouraged to indulge in and take books from
in my guest bedroom.
I just wanted to let you know that.
Wow, I found myself in the company of my heroes there.
Thank you.
Absolutely.
It's a fantastic book.
And we're going to dig into all sorts of
stories that are in the book. Of course, many stories that I have heard and not heard in person
with you. But let's start with one that I haven't heard, but I wanted to dig into it a little bit,
just as part of the Genesis story. Your mom. Could you tell us a little bit about your mom and then I suppose
also about your dad, but specifically the get on with it attitude as I've seen you write it?
Well, you know, my parents met when they were 15 years old and my grandfather had just died
leaving this property. And everyone in the sort of family advisors had said to my father, well,
first thing, you've got to get rid of that property in the sort of family advisors had said to my father, well, first thing,
you've got to get rid of that property in the wild eastern part of South Africa. You know,
it's bankrupt cattle land. There's nothing going on there. There's some lions there that you used
to hunt, but lion hunting is dangerous. Get rid of that. And my father stood up in the meeting
of family advisors and he said, no, we're going to keep it and we'll find a way to make it pay.
And very soon after that meeting he
met my mother and with three mud huts and a broken Land Rover they launched themselves into starting
a safari business this was a time in the you know the teeth of apartheid South Africa there was no
one coming to South Africa like a rough if any if it had been an investor pitch and someone was
saying we're going to start a game reserve and you you know, here's what we want you to invest in. No one would have invested. But together, out of the love that
they had for each other and the passion that they had for the land, they created this amazing place.
It was the love they had for each other, the passion for the land and a real big dose of
we can keep going because this is all we have. And so there was this incredible attitude in both of them to just
push forward, pioneer, keep going, raise your kids with snakes and no electricity,
bring people from all over the world to come stay in a couple of mud huts, give them an incredible
time, flow this amazing energy into them, take them out into the wild for encounters.
And so it was that type of get on with it chutzpah attitude that I was raised in. And that was my mother through and through, just unbreakable, rub some arnica oil on it was the best we got if you got an injury. And only call a doctor if you're bleeding profusely or you're going to die. So I have some follow-ups. First of all, everyone's saying, first thing you have to do
is get rid of that land. Dad says, nope, we're going to keep the land. There's got to be some
thought process behind that because, of course, there are tremendous consequences to that decision
in terms of life trajectory. Why the decision? Why was that decision made? How was that made?
You know, I think it's a really good question.
I mean, there's a few parts to it.
The one is that my great-grandfather had bought the land in 1926
after drinking too much gin.
And he heard about these bankrupt cattle farms
that were available for sale adjacent to the Kruger National Park.
And he was a lion hunter and he was an adventurer.
And he said, well, we're going to buy.
And so he first came down here in the June of 1926 and he set up the camp, you know, just sort of rugged
canvas under the trees and they would hunt lions. That's how my grandfather then grew up.
And then that's how my father and uncle grew up, coming down in the winter months,
waking up at dawn, listening for lions to roar, and then going out to hunt lions.
And I should say with lion hunting, there's only two outcomes. Either a lion dies or a person dies.
So that gives you a little bit of a sense for the mentality of it. But through those early days of
hunting, already a deep passion had started to take root in my father for the land and in my
uncle. They felt connected to it. It was a place of adventure. It was
already a place that was infused in meaning. So when their father died and they were teenagers
and the family advisors said, okay, we'll get rid of it. I think it's a bit of a combination of
the brilliance, the arrogance and the stupidity of youth that just allowed them to stand up and
say, well, we're going to keep it and we'll make it work.
I don't think that there was forethought in the decision. They just knew they were grieving.
They had lost their father. It was their father's sacred place. He loved to go there. And they knew that if they, somewhere inside of that grieving process, they knew that if they let go of the
land, they would lose the memory of their father in some way. And so they held onto it and they
decided, well, we'll go make it work. There's so many different branches of this tree that I can go
down. I'm having trouble with the paradox of choice here. Let me try to prompt a story that
will maybe speak to the get on with it, make it work attitude of both of your parents.
Could you please tell the story? I'm going to
give you a fragment here. So a little gingerbread crumb and see if you remember what I'm referring
to. Plane ride, bird. Does this mean anything? Okay. I think you're referring to the white
knuckle charter company. Yeah, that's the one.
So basically what happened is my parents, they launched the safari business and it slowly started to become successful, but they started to run into a problem as my sister and I were
getting older because school started to become an issue.
So there was obviously no way to take us to school living out here.
So they decided that what they would do is they would
learn to fly and then they would ferry us into the nearest town and we would sort of attend early
preschool or whatever it's called, like Monday through Wednesday. And then Wednesday we would
fly back to the reserve and we would be here through the weekend. And we were basically
getting three days of schooling. That seemed like enough to them at the time. So they took up flying.
And my memories of it are when they would pick us up on a Wednesday afternoon, to be
honest, they weren't great pilots.
So they were in a bit of a state.
You know, the first 50 hours of being a pilot, there's a lot of stress about getting it in
the air and then safely getting it back on the ground.
So we would arrive and they would say to us, we're in flying mode right now.
And flying mode meant we could not ask any questions. We had to shut up. Kids, you kids shut
up. We're in flying mode. And then they had this other sort of drill that they worked out with each
other, which was called pilot in command. And when they were up front there in the cockpit,
the one would say, I am now pilot in command. And if you handed over control, you would say,
handing over control. And the other would say, I am now pilot in command, pilot in command. And if you handed over control, you would say, handing over control.
And the other would say, I am now pilot in command, pilot in command, handing over to pilot
in command. I am now pilot in command. And they had this whole drill, right? The first crash that
we were involved in, we came into land and we had a plane. It was a little Cessna that had a quirk.
And let me tell you, when it comes to aviation, you don't want planes with quirks. You can have a quirky like pickup truck, but you cannot have a
quirky aircraft. The quirk was that when you pulled the power, not all power cut off. It kept
a little bleed of power on. So my mother was flying the plane. She came in to land on the
little 800 meter dirt strip. She cut the power.
The plane sort of landed, but it just kept on a little too much power and we kept going.
And she started to say to my father and my sister and I are watching from the back in flying mode.
I can't get the power off.
I can't get the power off.
I can't get the speed off.
And he says, he's saying to her, you are pilot in command.
You are pilot in command.
And she's like, I know, but I can't get the speed off.
And eventually she kicks the rudder and the plane veers off the runway and we hit a marula tree and we stop. That's our first
crash. And it's one of those ones, Tim, that if you bring it up today, like at dinner, he will say,
we'll say, well, you know, I couldn't get the speed off. And he'll say, my father will say,
well, you were pilot in command and immediately a fight will develop at dinner. I know I was
pilot in command, but before we hit the tree, do you think you could have pulled the power? You could have. So like,
there's a little tension around it. Anyway, the worst one was we were flying a short hop. And by
this stage, my parents had launched, you know, a bigger safari company and they had decided that
when they flew, they should actually have a commercial pilot with them. And so the setup was,
it's a commercial pilot in the left-hand seat. It's my father in the right-hand seat.
And then there's club seating, four seats in the back, but you sit facing each other like you would on a train, you know, like looking at each other. So we're flying along and I see my mother and her
friend are sitting opposite me and they're looking towards the cockpit. I'm looking back at them and suddenly
we just hear this outrageous like sound and wind fills the cockpit. And it's just this incredible
rushing sound, amazing sound. Looking at my mother and her friend next to her, it looks like
Pulp Fiction. There is just blood and guts all over them. It looks like
someone took a bird, put it in a blender and made like a bird smoothie and then threw it over them.
They've got a wing on their head. They've got a foot on their shoulder. They are covered in blood
and guts. And so I turn and I look back at the cockpit. The front window of the plane is gone. The pilot is conked out.
He's passed out in his seat.
And my father is like orientating himself in the madness.
And right at that moment, as my father got his bearings, I saw him grab the controls.
And then he looked back at me and said, I am pilot in command.
And so now we realize we've got a situation. What had happened
is we had hit a stalk, direct bird strike, and the bird had come in the window. And in fact,
the bird had hit the pilot. The beak had gone into the skin between the pilot's skull and the skin.
So he had a beak sticking out of his face and a bit of stalk neck
sticking out of his face, and he's totally passed out.
Meantime, my father has taken control of the plane.
The woman on the back seat screaming next to my mom is going,
we're all going to die, we're all going to die.
And that's when my mother gave her the patented mother slap,
slapped her twice and said, we are not going to die. And then out of nowhere, my mother reaches into her sort of handbag and pulls out a flight call sheet. And she starts screaming standard emergency practices to my father. Call SOS base, request emergency landing. And he's ticking off things. Now at this point, the pilot starts to
wake up and he wakes up and he's slowly gaining his bearings. And as he looks around, he has this
strange kind of dot in his vision. And as he's looking around, the dot follows him and he
eventually puts his hand up and what it is, it's the stork's neck sticking out of
his face that everywhere he looks it's in his line of sight because it's connected to his face
and it was at that moment that he grabbed the neck and the beak of the stork and he pulled it out of
his face and looked at it and then passed out again and i don't know if you've ever seen a
head wound but head wounds bleed nicely and so he's bleeding quite intensely. It's pandemonium back there, but my folks have got the controls. They're calling,
they call the airport. My father starts the descent and eventually the pilot wakes up and
he comes to, and he's actually, he's all right. And he takes over control of the plane again.
And we do an emergency landing. And the funny thing about it was we were flying from the
reserve to go and catch a commercial
flight so we landed at a commercial airport and we got out covered in stalk stalk wing and stalk
foot and stalk guts and we walked into the terminal building and i said to my mother well
what do we do now she said just board the flight and look forward so we got onto the plane looking
like we had been in the texas chains Massacre and just sat down next to regular folks traveling, covered in guts and blood and just sat there and looked forward and flew to our next destination like nothing had happened. were irrepressible, I think is the word, which you kind of have to be to run a safari business
where things, you know, running a safari business, you're out in nature and things are happening
and unexpected things are happening almost continuously. So that was kind of my wild
youth in some ways, you know, it was very, very orientated towards that kind of South African
wildness. And also I think that we've changed a lot over the years,
and we've been in our own healing journeys,
and our own healing journeys have changed us as a family, for sure.
But for many years there, we were just kind of packing on,
you know, I guess we were frozen by some trauma ourselves,
and we were just living as wildly through it as we could.
Well, I remember the first time when Elvis story, man.
I totally forgot about the boarding, the next connecting flight.
Awkward, bad covered moments.
Yeah, it'd be hard to get past TSA covered in viscera. Good Lord. So let's talk about another element, I believe, of your childhood.
You could tell me when this first enters the picture. We're going to bounce all over the place.
And please correct my pronunciation. When did the Shangan trackers, is it Shangan? How do you
pronounce that properly? Shangan.
There we go. Shangan trackers enter the picture in your life. And who are they? You could answer
that in either order. Well, firstly, let me say something about the Shungan people. The Shungan
people are the most wonderful people that I've had time to spend time with in Africa. They were
a splinter tribe of the Zulu people. And basically, they went on a warring party, and they found
themselves in southern Mozambique,
and they decided that they were actually more peaceful people.
They didn't want to be involved in the Zulu army's warlike ways, and they broke away.
And they're really pastoral people, amazing storytellers, incredible trackers, because
they love to observe things and tell stories.
And so from the time my father and uncle were very young, and from the time that I was very
young, I was lucky to spend time with some of the best shungan trackers in the world, men who had
grown up hunting and gathering in the region. And the transition that we went through as a family is
we grew up tracking to hunt. And then once we had our kind of enlightenment experience and we decided
we must partner with the land and we must think of the animals as our kin, we continued tracking, but it was to find animals for photographic safaris.
And so from the time that I was extremely young, I was apprenticed to these master shungan trackers
and I spent hundreds of hours learning the art form of following an animal across wild terrain
and learning how to be attuned to the
language of the wilderness. And I was listening to your interview with Noah Feltman, and he was
talking about how language attunes you in a different way to a culture. And if you can think
of tracking, tracking is essentially the language of the wilderness. You're learning the signs,
the sounds, and as your knowledge as a tracker deepens, it's like you're being let into another level.
And the Shangaan people were deeply attuned to this.
And they taught me that from a young age.
And really the success of Londolozi, one of the major success points for us is to create
a bit of context for how the safari business came together.
My father was 15.
My uncle was 17.
My mother was about 15 too.
And they were going to launch the safari business.
Most of the land at that time, because the cattle had overgrazed the land,
it was kind of an eye-high scrub. And all of the animals were here, but you didn't really see them.
And in fact, they had been hunted. So any animals you saw were trying to get away from you.
And really my parents struggled to get the safari business going.
And then they had a defining moment.
And that was the arrival of a kind of maverick ecologist by the name of Ken Tinley.
And Ken was an amazing guy.
He was a high school dropout who got admitted to a biological sciences degree because he
drew a picture of a moth
with such intricate detail that the dean of the faculty put him in. And he studied his biological
sciences degree, and then he went to live alone in Mozambique and write a dissertation.
And during this time living alone, Ken had this incredible encounter with wilderness,
and he felt deeply attuned to it. And the way he described it,
he said it felt like he could feel the rivers moving through his veins. And he became aware of how the moisture traveled through the terrain and how that informed the flora and how that then
informed the fauna. And he was just deeply in tune. And he showed up next to the campfire
one day where these young upstarts were trying to get the safari business going.
And he said to them, if you want this place to work, you must partner with the land. You must
think of the animals as your kin. And you must make sure that the local Shanghain people are
invited to participate in this restoration. And so they said to him, well, partner with the land.
What do you mean? And he said, come, I'll show you.
And he walked them out onto the scrub encroached land. And he said to them, when the cattle overgraze the land, the moisture falls, but instead of penetrating the soil, it runs off in these deep
erosive furrows. So what you do is you clear away the scrub and you take that scrub and you pack it
into the furrows. And it's kind of like putting the plug back in the bath. And with that, you start to charge the grassland with
moisture. And he started to show them how to restore the micro catchments on the property.
And I really grew up, one of the first imprints of my psyche was watching the land being restored.
I would go to a place where there was eye-high scrub, and then I would see the destitution as you cut it out. And then you would go back there a year
later, and there would be a herd of waterbuck on it and a herd of zebra, and then a rhino walking
through it in the late evening. And so my first impulses, I believe, as a healer came out of
watching the way that life knows how to bring itself forth. And then one day after a day spent working on the
land, my father and my uncle were driving home. And in the late afternoon light, a female leopard
stepped out onto the road in front of them. And up until that point, any leopard you saw was ears
back running to get away from you. They'd been hunted. But this leopard stopped and she turned
and she looked at them and for a moment she allowed
herself to be seen and then she growled and they saw that she had this one broken canine
and then she slipped away from there and they drove home in silence and they stopped the vehicle
and my uncle who was a rugged aggressive wild type guy they sat there for a moment in silence
and then he looked at my father and he said, whatever just happened, that's my future. And I've been deeply interested in that my whole life,
you know, to your point, like what made them say, we're going to try and take on the creation of
the safari business? What made my great grandfather after too many gins say, I'm going to buy? What
made my uncle say in that moment, that's my future? How do we know when we know? So what my uncle did is he teamed up with a Shungan tracker, one of the best trackers in the
area, a man by the name of Elmon Mshongo. And Elmon is actually Reneas in the books, brother.
It's an incredible hunter-gatherer, incredibly in-tuned.
Before we get to Elmon, if you could just as context, because people hear tracking,
good trackers, they might not realize just how far
back a lineage of tracker to tracker to tracker tradition might extend. Are we talking hundreds
of years, thousands of years, tens of thousands of years? I mean, how far back does it go, right?
This type of skill development and generational passing down. I mean, this goes back to our early origins.
Some people say that tracking is in some ways the beginning of science
because it's the beginning of deduction.
It's the beginning, the first time that someone looked at an abstract imprint
and started to apply meaning to it.
And it's an art form that has been alive.
It lives inside of people because it has
been passed on through generations. A tracker will teach another tracker the way. And so,
I think of it as this art form that you can't hang on the wall, or it literally has to be alive in a
person to survive. Didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to kind of set the stage, right?
Because people think like, oh, my grandfather did this. My dad did this. I now do this.
Therefore, we have this extensive lineage, which is true on some scale.
But when you refer to one of these master trackers, it's quite a different level of longevity in terms of the bloodline and the development of that skill.
Ancient.
Ancient.
Back to the origins of humanity.
Yeah. Ancient. Ancient. Back to the origins of humanity. And when you are tracking, you are connected to that entire lineage, which is an amazing feeling. What I'm doing right now, thousands of years ago, someone did this very same practice. And so what my uncle and him did is for the next 12 years, they woke up every morning and they went out and they tracked that leopard.
And just insane drive and dedication.
And sometimes they would go two weeks without seeing her and they would be putting together the clues.
They'd be following the tracks.
And then it started to be that they would find her and she would allow herself to be
viewed from two, 300 yards in a vehicle.
And then slowly over time, that space, that distance started to close.
And eventually, after a few years of this, it got to the point where they could actually drive one of these old Land Rovers in next to her.
And she had developed a relationship of trust with them.
It was a totally wild leopard.
And she knew that these men meant her no harm.
We called that leopard the mother leopard because she went on to have eight litters of cubs. And all
of those cubs grew up modeling their mother's trust. And so she was the mother for two reasons.
One, because she was the mother of all these cubs. And second, because really she was the mother of
the birth of the safari business, because word got out that there was a place in the middle of South Africa where no one wanted to go, where you could go and see a wild leopard.
And that allure is still alive inside of people today. without the skills and the brilliance of the Shungan trackers. To be able to go out into a vast wilderness
and attune yourself to the faint tracks of where this animal had walked,
to listen for alarm calls, to listen to bird language,
and to start to get to know her movement patterns,
her territories, where she liked to den,
all of that made it possible,
and it wouldn't have been possible without great trackers.
And so really the legacy of Londolozi
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at wealthfront.com slash Tim. You mentioned a name that comes up a lot in The Lion Tracker's
Guide to Life,
who's, of course, a fascinating character in the book, and I'm sure in real life,
even more so fascinating. Rhenius, is that how you say this name properly?
Rhenius Matanjana Jampachasimshongo is his official name.
That's exactly what I was going to say. That's what I was going to say.
I'll stick with Rhenius for short. Now, I want to prompt,
maybe as a way of describing Reneas and introducing him, a question that came or a cue that came from
one of our mutual friends, Josh Waitzkin. And he said, ask Boyd about Reneas not returning to camp
a few weeks ago when tracking, I think, a male lion when all
the clients wanted to come back. Could you tell this story? Are you open to that?
Yeah. Well, Reneas is firstly one of the best trackers in the world. I would say that he's top
five. He's deeply attuned. And my definition of mastery is someone who can be themselves in any situation. And really
what makes Renier special is that he's able to totally be himself wherever he goes. And I'm sure
you've seen this in other disciplines. He's one of those rare masters who's able to translate
the intangibles of what he knows how to do. You learn by being around him, you learn by absorbing
his presence, watching how he moves. But he by being around him. You learn by absorbing his presence,
watching how he moves. But he's also quite good at teaching, which makes him really exceptional
because a lot of trackers, you'll say to them, well, why did you know to go down there? Why did
you know to check that riverbed? And they just sort of say, I just knew. Reneas is able to dissect
it a little bit for you. But this to me is the level of his mastery. We ran a retreat, a tracking retreat.
We had some folks from all over the world who had come on one of our tracking retreats,
and it was day four, and we had had an exceptional time. We had found and followed animals.
The night before, we had slept out in the bush. And so the next morning we woke up,
we found tracks of a single male lion, and we began to follow.
And after two or three hours, I could see that the guests who were on the retreat were tiring.
They were running out of gas. They'd been keeping watch all night.
Could you explain what you mean by that? Keeping watch all night? Afraid that lions are going to eat them all night? Yeah. On the retreat, one of the nights,
we had slept on the ground in the open, no vehicle, no tents. And each person had been asked
to keep watch. It's this deeply archetypal experience to be awake around the fire.
It definitely changes what the fire means to you. It's some of this ancient primordial sense of like
fire safety. And each person keeps watch through the night. And it's beautiful. You're alone,
owls calling, stars above you, and this alertness alive inside of you as you keep watch for your friends.
What are you keeping watch? I guess, sorry, not to bog the story down, but just for a second,
like if John from KPMG in Chicago, who's never camped before, comes to a tracking retreat,
I would be kind of nervous trusting John to keep me alive while I slept. So I probably
wouldn't sleep. I'm just wondering what one does when they're keeping watch. No offense to KPMG,
just came to mind.
You know what? No, John from KPMG, you're taking contact. Well, the thing is, is that
the minute you get out there and night starts to fall and some lions roar nearby and an elephant walks past your camp and comes
to investigate. What's pretty amazing, Tim, is that no one misses the gravity of the situation.
I bet.
There's something about night falling. I watch people switch on and I explain to them that if
you fall asleep during your watch or you don't do this properly, someone can get badly injured.
And so people take it very seriously.
And your job on watch is to be an aware presence.
And you get armed with a really good torch.
You listen.
That's a flashlight for you, Yanks, listen.
Flashlights.
You listen.
And if any animal comes, you have to be aware of its presence.
And there's an amazing thing.
If you're aware of an animal's presence, it's aware that you're aware of it and that's
the critical safety piece and we've never in all the years we've been doing it and we've slept out
with many many people we've never had anyone let us down because people feel the the gravity of it
and something does wake up inside of them so anyway back to the story we yeah suffice to say
they didn't sleep very well they didn't sleep very well.
They didn't sleep very well. So like 10 o'clock the next morning, they were flagging and we decided because we'd had such a good time and we'd been so lucky with the tracking already,
we were going to call it there. We were going to say, guys, we're going to leave this track
and we're going to head back to the camp. Now, Arrhenius has been 30 years into guiding people, even more, 35 years into guiding people,
and then another section working as a trainer. He says, you guys go back to camp. I can't leave
this track. And I'm fascinated by that moment because there are so many hundreds of guides,
so many hundreds of people who say, you know what, our guests are happy, eggs Benedict back at the camp. But his mastery is that he can't leave it. There is something
laid down in front of him that he's curious about, he's interested, and he has to know.
Something in the tracker has to discover, has to find out. And the scope of the years of his
practice and the fact that he makes that decision to stay out there hot, tired, without water, he needs to know.
That is his art form.
He needs to be in it.
There's something very special about that to me.
Which animals are hardest to track at Londoloza?
You mentioned a leopard, right?
So a leopard in my mind, I think of solitary animal, as I understand it,
sleeps in trees, at least part of the time, as I understand it. Again, I have no understanding
of leopards. So I would think of them as difficult to track for a number of different reasons. But
which animals that you track are easiest and which are hardest?
Oh, well, I think you've nailed it there. Leopard, by some margin, is the most difficult. One, it walks, it's solitary, and it walks incredibly
lightly. And its nature is solitary and secretive. It likes to operate in thick terrain.
Anytime you're seeing a leopard, the leopard is allowing you to see it, which to me has this
beautiful mystery that it cloaks it in.
So leopard by quite some margin would be the most difficult. And we've had trackers here who've
become real specialists at following leopards. We used to have a tracker by the name of Richard
Soella. And Soella was, he was meticulous in his dress and he was gruff and he was hard to get along with. He was rude to most
people. He had that arrogance born of being brilliant. He deserved all the arrogance he had
because he was so good. And he used to do this thing where if all the trackers had been out in
the morning and they'd been following a leopard, they would come back to camp. They'd been
unsuccessful. They had a lost track, but they
had lost it. He would go back there. And it used to be my favorite thing. He would go back at 12
o'clock in the afternoon. He would refuse to go with anyone else. He wanted to go alone.
And he would slowly start to work that track. And then eventually at like six o'clock in the
evening, you'd get a radio call and it would be Richard. And he would say, I've located this leopard. He would tell you where it was.
And then his final refrain was, Richard Soella is number one.
And he did it so consistently and Richard Soella was number one.
That's amazing.
That is amazing.
Technical question, 12 noon.
So I would think that high noon would actually be a
hard time to track because it wouldn't cast shadows as well. But is the reason for doing
that that the animals are bedded down due to the heat so that you're able to track while they're
in one place? Why would he go out at 12 noon? One is he's showing people how good he is.
Because you're right, the direct light creates
a flat aspect on the ground. The light is flat, and so you're right, there's no shadow, there's
no contrast. When the light is lower, it bounces off where the animal has stepped, and it changes
the texture on the earth. He's going at midday because no one else wants to go out in the heat.
He's showing, I go out in the heat. He's going at midday because the light is flat.
And he's saying, I go out when the light is flat.
He's going at midday because he knows that that leopard is going to be lying up somewhere.
And so if he can get a track, he can close the distance on it while it's not moving.
And all of those are saying, Soela is number one.
It's so great.
I love that. So let me ask, because people will no doubt be wondering,
what type of protection does one have when, say, Rennius goes out to track with clientele? Do you
have the equivalent of a SWAT team with you with rifles at the ready in case any danger presents
itself? I think I know the answer to this, but just because I know people may have a question mark in their minds.
What type of protection do you guys carry?
When we are tracking with clients, we will carry rifles. And always, if we're running
specifically tracking retreats, we will be a two-rifle operation. But really, the protection
is way upstream of that. In all of my years in the bush, I've never had to use the rifle.
The art form of tracking is what makes you safe. And when you're with someone like Renius,
the safety profile just becomes exceptionally safe because he's so attuned. And so it's a
capacity to read the terrain, to make good decisions, to be attuned to the freshness of
the track, where those animals will be, how we should approach different to be attuned to the freshness of the track, where those animals will
be, how we should approach different terrain, attuned to the birds, bird language. And then
where Rhenius is even more exceptional is that, you know, the way that an animal communicates
with you is through a state of presence. If it is unhappy with you, it conveys energy through the way its body shapes.
And really amazing trackers are able to read that body language and almost speak back to it in the way they move their body.
And you can convey a very profound unspoken language.
And I think of it as a language of energy or a language of presence.
And that is really what makes you safe.
As that animal, if you see that
animal, how you convey your intentions to it, your mood, what you do if it does become aggressive
with you, how you meet that and shape the sort of the unspoken conversation between you.
I want to bring up one of the lines from The Line Tracker's Guide to Life that
it certainly pops to mind quickly when I think
about this book. I'm sure it's a line that a lot of people bring up. I know it's a line that Josh
has brought up. And I'd love to just hear you explain why this is in the book and why it matters.
Quote, I don't know where we're going, but I know exactly how to get there.
I love that. Don't you? I love it. Absolutely. It really, if you take a moment to pause and contemplate it,
the implications are pretty profound. So I'd love to just hear you riff on this and why
and how this ended up in the book. Well, there were two things that Renius
used to say regularly. The one is, we will get, we will get it. And it was almost like this kind of incredible self-talk that he
would have when the track was cold or the track was, you know, we weren't making progress. I would
look at him and he would say, we're going to get this. And then often he would say too,
I don't know where I'm going, but I know exactly how to
get there. And what he's saying, he's talking to the dynamic of tracking, which is, it's an
interesting energetic dynamic. He is profoundly committed to finding that animal, but he hasn't
allowed that commitment to become a burden of some kind. He is working moment to moment on the signs
that he's getting. And you can think in a vast wilderness, as trackers, we also talk about the first track.
In a vast wilderness, 360 degrees of wild terrain, all he needs is the next first track,
and then the next first track, and then the next first track, and the next first track.
And he's able to dial down the infinite possibilities of where that animal could have gone to a moment of knowing and a moment of presence, and then another moment of knowing and another moment of presence.
And all he needs is that next sign.
So he doesn't know where it's going, but he knows how to get there.
The next moment of presence, the next thing I know to do.
And it might be a good segue there into just telling you a little bit about how the tracking process changed for me over the years, but let me know if you want to go.
Let's do it. Dive in. Dive in.
So I had these encounters, Tim, whereby I had a childhood following animals and learning this
art form and really the dynamics and the psyche of the tracker, how a tracker approached the
process of finding an animal in the middle of nowhere. And then watching how consistently good trackers delivered an outcome, they found the animal they
were looking for. And at that time, as a young child, I thought I was learning that skill.
And then through my early 20s, I had a series of pretty traumatic encounters. And the result of
that was that by the time I was about 23 or 24 years old,
I had found myself frozen by trauma. I felt I was depressed. I was uncertain how to move forward.
And in the way that trauma limits options, I felt myself extremely limited. I did not have access to
a lot of emotionality. I did not have access to different choices. I was stuck. And at that time, I was very
lucky to meet a woman who came on safari. She became my first mentor. And the reason I guided
her was because Alex, my friend who also features in the book, he had guided her a year before and
he said to me, she's a martial artist. And I was very interested in martial arts as I know you are.
And so I went into the guide room and in the guide room, there was this board where every guide got their name put next to
the clients who were coming in. And I rubbed off someone else's name and I put my name next to her
to guide her. And that moment absolutely changed my life. Her name was Dr. Martha Beck. And she
arrived on the safari and we went out the first two days and she said
something on the second day that I felt something in me like really moved. We were driving along
and I was telling her about the restoration of the land. And she said, I really understand this.
And I believe the restoration of the planet will come out of a transformation in human consciousness.
And the minute she said it, you know, whatever my grandfather knew or my father knew or my uncle knew when he saw that
leopard, I felt that thing move inside of me. That kind of, that idea struck me very deeply.
And then on about the fourth day, I'd driven back to the camp and, you know, I'm in my safari gear.
I got my rifle. You know, I'm the guide. I'm a rugged guy. I'm out there tracking
lions. And she turned and she looked at me and she said, I'm ready to talk to you.
And I was sort of taken aback. I said, well, what do you mean? She said, I can see what you're
carrying and I can see how stuck you are. And I want you to know that I can help you and I'm here.
And I don't know if you've ever had one of those instances where someone sees you when you're in one of those places but I felt myself becoming really uncertain and then I felt tears starting
to come to my eyes and then there was this moment where the you know this woman is hugging the
safari guide and just consoling me and she was an incredible healer and she was exceptionally
adept at transformational processes and so she started to teach me how to
move through the trauma and the suffering that I was stuck in. And as that happened,
my relationship to tracking started to change. And I started to see this art form in a different way.
And I realized that I was looking for something and all of the skills and the
mentality of the tracker was highly adept to being in a transformational process.
You know, the first thing that you will have to do if you want to go track a lion in the wild
is you will have to become super uncomfortable with unknowns. You will have to give up all the
ways you tried to know what to do and say, I don't know how to do this.
All trackers operate using unknowns to almost bring them to life. You will need to develop your track awareness. Track awareness is teaching yourself to be attuned to a very specific set of
signs, metrics, but self-generated. When I was a kid, Renius would take me out to a game path and
he would say, walk down that game path and tell me what you see. And I would come back and I would
say to him, I saw a herd of impala walk there. And he would say, hey, I'm fine. Young boy,
go look again. And as I was walking away, he would say, put your head down like the way an animal
drinks, put your head right down against the trail and look like you're
drinking water, like an animal. And I would come back and I would say, I can see where the herd of
impala walked, but they actually walked over the tracks of a leopard. And I can see where a mouse
ran across the path and then an owl swooped down and its wing touched the ground. And each time I
walked down that path, under his guidance, there was more information. And that idea became very
important to me, the idea that there is information in your life if you are looking for transformation,
but you have to teach yourself to attune to it. And so, you know, what do you need to attune to
in transformational processes? Things that make you feel expansive, things that make you feel alive,
letting go of your rational idea of what you should do and noticing what you move towards, noticing what you're curious about, noticing the people who energize you, the activities that make you feel alive, letting go of your rational idea of what you should do and noticing what you move towards, noticing what you're curious about, noticing the people who energize
you, the activities that make you feel more alive. So I started to see through the eyes of the
tracker, the first track, you know, the first track being the next thing you know to do, letting go
of, you know, where that animal might be or letting go of where you think you should be and just doing
the next thing you know to do and the next thing you know to do. If you watch great trackers,
they drop into what I call the following state. And it's so beautiful. If you watch Alex and
Renius in the following state, the following state could be defined almost as constant creative
response to what is occurring. If the track cuts left, Alex will click and he'll say, I'm on the track. If it cuts right, Reneas will be on it. They're
getting a sense of the mood of the animal. They're using their own body to attune to the way the
animal is moving. And in that way, like almost feel the animal as it's walking out ahead of them.
At the same time, they are vectoring and they are getting a sense of their bearings using waypoints
of marula trees up ahead. When you watch them, almost having fun in it they're playing they're playing on that
track and so you will need to develop the following state in your own transformational process how can
you play how can you be creative with not knowing what you're trying to create or this place you're
trying to get to but being open and willing and aware and attuned, you will almost certainly lose the track. And I'm sort of saying this to see how the tracker
came to me in a different way as I got into my own journey of healing. You will lose the track.
You'll be in the middle of it thinking, I'm deep in the following state, I'm right on track,
and then suddenly it'll be gone. And you will need to build community around you of other great
trackers, people who are willing to move with you, follow with you.
And the core of it is really
that there is something inside of you that knows.
There is a part of you, you might call it your wild self,
you might call it the track of your life
or as native people call it, your medicine way,
a part of you that beyond rational thought reacts
when you become more in tune with yourself and sifting away
the layers of socialization all the things you should do all the things you have to do to start
to be able to follow the trail of that place inside of you became really what the core of my
own journey to healing was and i live like that to this day as a tracker trying to be present
resting into the unknown att attuning, and trying
to fall into the following state with what energizes me, makes me curious, and pulls me forward.
Thank you for that. It strikes me also that a lot of people who would try to help another
start almost as a hammer looking for nails, right? They don't listen enough first. And it just
strikes me that what Martha did was very much initially demonstrated by her powers of observation,
awareness, and attunement. And those are sort of like the core fundamental characteristics
that you need to develop or resurrect before you can really
prescribe anything at all. And the question I want to ask is actually related to the traumatic
events if you're open to it. Would you be willing to share what happened or some of the examples of
what happened in your 20s? Yeah, just one comment on Martha. Once we started to get onto that level with each other, when I watched her and I looked at her, what I saw was a superb tracker. She
understood how trauma patterns us. And she was incredibly adept at first tracking the pattern
and then starting to support you in creating a different outcome for yourself or providing
tools and options for different ways of doing it. And as I watched her work with myself and with
many other people, I saw a tracker who would, you know, at first just really observe and get to know
what they were working with and be present and attuned. And that's really what most attracted
me to her work. I saw a tracker of processes, human processes, and first and
foremost, and that's probably what I was mature enough, the frame that I was able to see through
at that time as a tracker. But yeah, to segue into my own experiences, my family, I would say,
Tim, went through a very difficult 10-year period, a period of intense suffering. And yet that suffering became the
place where we learned to do the work and go inward and start to understand how healing
processes work. And so I've gotten to the place now where I fondly look back on those 10 years
of initiation, you know, university of suffering. But it began for me when my grandmother died.
My father, who had taken the Londolozi model of care of land,
care of wildlife, care of people, and he had launched it to 30 other operations around
Southern Africa, which Mandela had asked him to do. And so there'd been this big sort of expansion.
And then in a classic kind of change of founder's trap, he got fired from that.
And then very soon into that, South Africa
was going through a very, very difficult time. And one night we were in Johannesburg and this was
post-elections, but it was still, the country was still really finding its feet and there was a ton
of violent crime still happening. And yeah, as I said, I was 18 years old and I woke up and my
sister was shaking me. And immediately as I sat
up, I had a gun pushed into my face. And the home that we were staying in in Johannesburg on that
occasion had been invaded. And I just felt the adrenaline pump through my system and all of my
work in healing spaces later, and I know that you're involved in psychedelic-assisted therapy, has been to try and get a cap on the scope of where my body goes when it gets a mild trauma because I woke up into my worst nightmare. tied up. And I know kind of stories of how these things go, the violence, the potential danger to
women. And it was just like absolute red line fear. And just to see the woman in my life,
my family like that. And so it was just shocking. And then realizing that, you know, I know I can
read animals, but I can't quite read people.
I mean, I can't quite read them.
They're not as honest as animals, you know, so I just don't know where this is going to go.
And I'm sitting in this tension.
And eventually, they took me outside, these guys who had broken into the house, and they
said to me, we're going to kill you.
So they pulled me outside, and they put a gun to my head.
And they basically said, this is, they basically
said, now we're going to kill you.
And, you know, the fear was so intense.
And then I remember looking up the barrel at the man who was holding the gun to my head
and we looked into each other's eyes.
And in that moment, something happened, which I can't say what happened.
You might call it the peace of God that path is understanding, but I think it was too big
for my ego structure to hold and it collapsed.
And as I looked at him, all fear left me and all concern for my own bodily safety left
me.
And I just felt a profound human connection with him.
And as that happened, and there were three of these guys standing around me, as that moment
happened, it was kind of this weird, the only way I can describe it is a kind of a weirdness
came over everyone. It was as if everyone had become glimmered and they put the guns down and everyone just stood there confused. And I walked back
inside totally unaccosted in any way. And I got the car keys and I walked back out and I gave them
the car keys and I said, get in that car and leave. And they did. And it was just immensely bizarre.
And for years I lived with trying to work out both the terror that I felt
and the fear that had flooded me,
but also trying to integrate like whatever had happened in that moment.
And I'm not sure that I fully understand it, but, you know,
I felt like I glimpsed through the most terrifying situation,
I glimpsed something.
That was a very, very sort of,
that was the first freezing experience that I had.
It was terrifying.
And then on the heels of that, and I think sometimes of Jung's description of what is
unconscious will be made conscious. It will manifest into your life until you become more
conscious about what you're carrying. A couple of weeks after that, literally in the same year, myself and some friends and
another tracker called Solly Mchlongo, we went down to the river on the reserve.
And it was an extremely hot day.
And we left the people who we were guiding sitting under a tree.
And we began to walk upstream in the river.
And Solly stayed on the bank.
And I was actually walking in the water.
And the water was knee deep, running over sand.
And you could see quite clearly.
And then there was a place up ahead where a tree had fallen over and its branches were
in the water.
And it was kind of shadowy.
And when I think of it now, I think if it had been a horror movie, people in the audience
would have started saying, don't go near the shadowy place. And of course, as I walk past the shadowy place,
I actually sat down just on the edge of those shadows. And my perception was that the water
was too shallow for crocodiles. But of course, the crocodile was in the hole. And the first thing
that you notice when a crocodile grabs you is just the ferocity and the pressure of the bite.
I just felt it slam onto my right leg
and it tries to pull me into the deep section of the water. I throw my arm up and I grab a branch
and it starts to shake me and I see a slick of blood appear in the water and then it gets washed
downstream. While the crocodile is shaking me, I see Solly who's on the bank. He sees me and he
sees that I'm in trouble and And he immediately starts making his way
towards me. Solly is also a Shungan man, grew up hunting and gathering. The croc goes to bite me a
second time and I kicked and by the grace of God, my foot went down its throat and it spat me out.
And I pulled myself up into the branches of the tree. And I have this memory of almost being
non-local, watching myself pull myself up into the branches of the tree. I I have this memory of almost being non-local, watching myself pull myself
up into the branches of the tree. I got up into the branches and I remember looking over my
shoulder and my leg from the knee down is just absolutely mangled, torn to pieces and
meat hanging off. I made a pact with myself in that moment, like never look at that again.
And I made my way through the branches and I fell onto the bank and I knew
that I was extremely vulnerable on the bank. Crocodiles, it's an elite predator. If it thinks
it can get you and I was on the bank against the water, it's going to grab me again. At that point,
Solly coming from the other bank arrives at the deep section of the channel. He's seen me come
out of the water. He's seen that my leg is mangled. And he knows that in the deep channel of water between him and I is a crocodile.
And I can tell you that man didn't slow down, not for one second.
He plunged into the water.
He waded into almost over his hips.
And he got to me on the bank and he grabbed me, put me on his shoulder.
And he carried me up onto the bank.
He took his shirt off.
He wrapped it around my leg.
We were able to call
the folks who were with us and calm them down, radio a plane that was flying over, and I was
able to get medevaced out, and we were able to stop the bleeding so that I survived. So those
two experiences were very alive in me. And maybe this is a side point, and then I'll slow down for a while. But in the months after that,
I sat many, many times with Solly and I said to him, Solly, why did you come in the water?
And he would look at me with disdain and he'd say,
he said, my brother, you're in trouble, I'm in trouble. And at first, I thought it was some kind of like,
you know, platitude. He was playing down his actions. But as time went on, I really understood and I came to see that in the way that Sully grew up, he grew up in a much more collective
consciousness. He grew up with his tribe. He grew up hunting and gathering. He grew up in nature.
And he lived in a much more interconnected way than any of us live.
In fact, his whole psyche was not formed around individuality.
His psyche was formed around a we consciousness, you and me together, a collective consciousness.
And to him, it was fundamental.
If I was in trouble, he was in trouble.
And so he did not see it as any kind of heroic action.
He just saw it as the most obvious
natural thing to do and and that really that moved me and that and that taught me a lot
i'm going to come back to a couple a number of things first good lord i'm sorry both of
those things happened even though it ended up being the university of suffering
those are two excruciating experiences, to put it mildly.
But just based on what you said about this collective consciousness, does the word Ubuntu or the concept of Ubuntu tie into this in any way?
Oh, absolutely.
Could you explain that for folks?
Yeah. Yeah, Ubuntu is an African philosophy that says, I am because of you, or people are not people is activated in them, where Ubuntu is alive in them, it is actually a kind of structuring in their very
psyche. They experience things in relation. They experience each other in a relational way.
And they know that knowing yourself and being yourself is about being connected to people,
but also to the broader field of sentient life.
And so what Solly was activating there was the Ubuntu consciousness.
And he was showing that Ubuntu consciousness comes alive in action through courageous action
in that case.
But very much what he was showing me that day was how deeply ingrained it was in him,
the collective nature of life. Another way of saying it, Tim, is like, and this gets really interesting as you
start to learn your own psyche, but different cultures, the psyches are structured differently.
And in a more Western setting, you might say that in a society where the individual self is disconnected from the greater
interconnectivity of life, the search for meaning is reduced to a constant state of
comparison.
So people will always on some level be saying, how am I doing in comparison?
And so many people are living with that without even knowing that that's how they're trying
to orientate themselves.
Whereas if you grew up in Africa or if you grew up in nature, you grew up relationally.
So it's not comparative. It's more like I'm learning about myself through my encounter
with the world. I'm going to try to maybe awkwardly tie a number of things together here.
When you and I, I think it was when we first spent time together.
I can't remember.
Maybe it was the first time we spoke, but you were just coming off of living in a tree,
if I remember correctly.
Yes.
If you're open to talking about that.
If not, we can certainly cut it later.
But since we're talking about it, how many days were you in this tree?
So I was 40 days and 40 nights in the tree. I went into the tree. If you read all the mystical traditions, including I think your man Hafiz on your bookshelf, but in all the mystical traditions,
there seems to be a time when the mystics are drawn to be alone in nature.
And Jesus went for 40 days and 40 nights, the Buddha went to the grove,
there's accounts of it all along the way. And so I wanted to go and have that experience myself.
And I'm not saying I'm a mystic, but my question was, why did all of the mystics go to be in total
solitude in nature? And so with a lockdown in the world, suddenly I had six weeks where I could go
and do that, go and sit in that question and see what answers came to me during that time. The first was that initially there was a tremendous
anxiety. You know, the first couple of days I had a lot of thoughts around, I'm going to be away,
I'm going to miss something I'm not attending to. And then after three days, that all dropped.
And I know the Aboriginal people have this amazing saying that modern culture is
three days deep. And after three days, I felt myself go into a different state of consciousness.
I just realized it doesn't matter. And then I started to attune myself to the natural world.
And a few things happened. The one is that a big insight was that where your attention goes,
your life goes. And if you're constantly
putting your attention on living things, there's more aliveness in your own life. That was one.
The second was that if you spend time in nature in the same spot over a period of time, it starts
to become incredibly personal. So it's not just a bird or that antelope, it's that bird that roosts in that
bush and flies down the riverbed in the morning and back up the southern bank. And then it feeds
for grubs in this tree. And as you start to become more personally attuned to each animal, you start
to see that there's a pattern to their movement. And in fact, then you start to find yourself
orientated inside of a series of interlocking intelligences.
That is really what the natural world is.
And then at some point, you realize that I'm not observing this intelligence that I'm watching unfold around me.
I am fundamentally a part of this.
And it stops being a mental construct and you start to feel yourself inside of that intelligence.
And that's a very, very deep experience, or at least it was for me.
And I think that that is why at a certain point, the mystics went to go and get quiet
enough to feel themselves inside of that incredible field of intelligence that is the natural
world.
I had just radical encounters every day.
And I think that's another thing about the natural world is things happen. And as things happen each day, it almost like it helps you make meaning. And in the
society, you know, the societies of the modern world are almost becoming devoid of the structures
that allow us to make meaning, but the natural world is full of encounter. And that encounter
generates an aliveness and a relational meaning-making quality that just makes life feel
very, very rich. And we lived like that for thousands of years before we lived on Discord.
Were there any other aspects of the experience that were particularly surprising to you in any
way, or any other rules that you set for yourself that proved either fruitless or fruitful?
I mean, the one encounter that comes to mind,
and there were many, is lots of solo hours tracking,
which felt very special.
But on one of the nights, I got caught in a storm,
a thunderstorm rolled in,
and the heat built all through the afternoon.
And I could see the storm building
out over the Western horizon,
and it started to look menacing,
and then even more menacing.
And I was living on a flat platform up in the tree and eventually the wind started to howl and blow
and then the mother and the father of a thunderstorm broke around me and you know the lightning bolts
were coming around around me and I don't know if you've ever been very close to lightning strikes, but the first thing is that you just hear it go like this. And then the blade
comes down and then the sound goes sonic. But if you're close enough to it, it actually clicks as
it hits the ground. And it started to come down around me, torrential rain and blades of lightning
lighting up around me. And the sound was just so intense.
And I mean, it was just monstrous. I was cast into a deep and overwhelming fear.
And I realized that true fear is kind of a rare experience in modern life.
Yeah. Terror. Terror, right? Like terror is a,
it's a,
it's a very distinct thing.
It's so distinct to like all my anxiety,
you know,
all the things I worry about,
but like true raw,
I don't know if we make it out of this fear is actually a very rare encounter in life.
And,
you know,
it would not end.
I just kept saying to myself,
like,
you can't be this scared for so long. Surely it's just going to pass. And then like another hour and another hour.
And I just kind of weathered it. And I felt an incredible, yeah, I mean, I guess it's talked
about a lot, but an incredible fragility and an incredible humility. And then the next day
when I came out of it, I also felt like,
oh God, that scared me so much, but I would do it again. On the other side of it,
to have been in a storm like that felt very, very special. I felt like a profound encounter
with the force of nature. Do you think you will ever do an extended period solo like that again? I don't
know if you were totally solo. I have no idea if you were solo, solo, solo, or was like solo most
of the time, but a few people would come out and say hi every once in a while, but maybe you could
clarify that. But do you think you would repeat an experiment like that? Why or why not? Not
necessarily in a tree, but that degree of solitude. I mean, without a shadow of a doubt, it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever done. And
I don't know if I will do six weeks again, but I will certainly try and get 10 days solo in nature
a year with no other people. And in this one, I didn't see other people. I was totally by myself.
And there's amazing things that happen when you're by yourself. One is, you know, getting really into your own energy, just being in your own energetic
field, then being attuned to nature and feeling your body start to attune to those rhythms,
you know, watching the stars move through the sky all night and feeling yourself naturally wake up
with the dawn and go to sleep when it gets dark and feeling your whole circadian rhythm attuned to that. What else about it? You know, funny things happen. Like on the one day
I banged my head, I had a trunk, which had dry goods in it, but I banged my hand on the trunk.
I was like, ah, God, you know, damn it. And I flew into a rage. I like, I flew into a rage
because it was so painful. And then I realized that with no one else around,
I couldn't maintain my state of anger.
And it's a really weird thing.
Like sulking, being angry and sulking and moods
and all of that stuff is really for the benefit of other people.
It's really so that other people can get tuned in
to like what a difficult time
you're having. But when you buy yourself, they just do not abide because there's no one around
to like stay in the story for. Well, speaking of mood, part of the reason I'm asking is because I
know you and I have both experienced in life depressive episodes. And I suppose there's part
of me that thinks, man, 40 days is a long time
to be alone with the voices in your head. But did you find, how did you find that experience?
Was that even a concern going into it for you? How did you, if you did think about it,
how did you think about that? No, I mean, it's certainly a concern.
And then there's also this weird component of time, right? Like you wake up at four in the
morning, you meditate, you go tracking for a few hours,
you come back to the camp, you make some coffee, you run, you do some more reading and journaling,
you meditate again, and it's 10.15 and you have 39 days to go.
So the one thing is that I was not doing like traditional Zen retreat.
I allowed myself
books I allowed myself to do daily recordings of my encounters like kind of journal entries
and I allowed myself to go tracking and so actually it was incredibly generative for me
and there's all these like little problems you have to solve like you got to keep your camp clean
and then everything gets wet and then you got to work out how to build yourself a bit of shelter.
And then once you become more present, it becomes so full of life.
Like I would make myself this evening shower.
I'd go fill a big cast iron kettle with water and then I would warm it on the fire.
And then I would pour this kettle of hot water over myself, totally alone up in the tree.
It was the best shower I've ever had.
And just, it was teaching me presence all the time. And once the anxiety left, there was a lot of introspection and I looked at a lot of
things, but I actually didn't feel myself taken by anxious or depressive demons. The process felt
very generative and alive to me. Yeah, that's something that I've been looking at very, very
closely for myself. And I don't think I've yet perhaps developed the eyes or the
awareness to parse it, but the characteristics or the circumstances that lead to nourishing
solitude versus depleting isolation, right? Because those are very different. For me,
those concepts represent very different things, right? Solitude
versus isolation or loneliness. How does it feel for you now? Like if you went alone for a week to
a cabin now, like how does it land on you now? A week I could do. A week I can do and I could
find that I think very restorative. I particularly find it restorative if I am with Molly, my dog, and have that close connection. Going through
wilderness with Molly is particularly nourishing to me. I can also do it solo, but I find that
she and I are so attuned at this point, because we spend almost all of our waking time together,
that she's like my external nervous system. She's
almost like an amplifier for my own nervous system. So I'm picking up what I'm picking up,
but I'm also picking up a lot of what she is picking up just by observing her behavior.
And that is very additive for me and also deepens my relationship, not only with the surroundings and with myself on
some level, but with her. So a week, I would take no problem. I think the six weeks starts to get
out to a point where I'm like, I wonder, right? There's just a question mark because I haven't
done six weeks solo. That's a pretty good stretch of time.
Yeah. I mean, I will say that it was largely supplemented by the passion for tracking. And so, you know, your encounter with like feeling the presence of Molly there and, you know, being in this thing together, like my feeling is every time I'm tracking, I'm in a new story. Every time I'm out there following, I'm in a deep encounter and it actually feels like there's this alive sentience awareness. One of the things that I would say is that when I
first went out, I thought that part of what I was doing is I wanted to improve my attunement to
nature. I wanted to know nature. But one of the most profound experiences out of it was
that I started to feel known by nature. And I know that this maybe veers us off a little bit into the esoteric,
but there was this feeling that there's this sentient, alive consciousness,
and somehow it was feeling me as I was feeling it in a really deep way.
And that felt actually, that felt incredibly supportive
and like I was touching something really beautiful and special.
I think there's a lot to that, but lest we get too far down the rabbit hole into crazy town,
which maybe we'll do on a round two, definitely do a round of campfire in person.
But I think there's actually a lot there related to what you just said. I do want to
discuss your healing process, and this is going
to seem like a very strange way to approach it. Before we get to that, I feel like maybe
like ginger in the sushi meal, we'll just give people a story as a quick refresher
slash palate cleanser, and then we'll dig into some heavy stuff. So are you willing to tell the story about the bees? Oh, absolutely. Well, I guess we bonded over this story. People ask me a lot, like,
what's the most dangerous encounter you've had in nature? And by this stage of the podcast,
you know, a crocodile tried to ingest me and that wasn't the worst.
But I became fascinated by bees for a few reasons. The one is that one day I was walking in the wild part of Zimbabwe and I came across this ancient baobab tree, this two-story high
baobab tree, and it had been hollowed out when an elephant had knocked the branch and it was in
fact empty. And a swarm of bees had made their hive in the top of it. And the sound of the bees humming was
coming down the base of that tree. And it was like standing next to this giant didgeridoo.
And just the sort of, I could hear the intensity of the bees through this process. And I felt
their vibration coming out of this tree. And it was, it kind of sparked my interest.
There's also an amazing thing in Southern Africa. There's a bird called the honey guide.
And literally, if you go out in parts of wilderness in Africa and you start banging on trees,
a bird will come to you and it will start to call incredibly animatedly, very much like Disney's,
I think he wants us to follow him. And then it will fly in
front of you and show you where the beehive is so that like for thousands of years before as a
hunter gatherer, you can rob the beehive and then you put some honey down next to you and the bird
comes and lands next to you and eats the honey. It's this incredible ancient, just, you know,
an encounter like that. Like it just takes you back thousands of years.
Wow. Wait, just for clarity. So this is like thousands, tens of thousands, you know, an encounter like that, like it just takes you back thousands of years. Wow. Wait, just for clarity.
So this is like thousands, tens of thousands, who knows, hundreds of thousands of years of co-evolution where this bird has a species memory of a symbiotic relationship with humanoids.
Is that what I'm hearing?
A type of morphogenic field memory that when it sees a person it knows
we go and get honey together wow i mean isn't that amazing that's cool and you'll and you walk
out to remote places and suddenly the birds then it's like come on let's do this are we going to
do this and it almost appears to get disappointed if you're like i'm not going to go and rob the
beehive now wow so anyway like i was having the you So anyway, I was around with this idea and I was like,
the bees are really fascinating. And then I started reading up on them.
And it's this incredible creature, right? They pollinate millions of flowers. They're one of
the biggest contributors from the insect world to the economy, honey sails. They can field
electromagnetic fields. They will disappear if a storm is brewing. And then as you watch the hive
itself, this incredible kind of algorithmic intelligence whereby a single bee, an individual
bee responds to localized stimuli, doing what it knows to do. And when enough bees responding to
individual localized stimuli all start to attune, an algorithm fires through the hive and they move as one and
they know where to go and get food etc so that idea also gripped me the idea of individuals
attuning to what they know to do can trigger a kind of a collective transformation so i got
really into this and i went that's all the good stuff behind the camp all the good stuff yeah just
it was a bit of backstory here before my near-death experience. So wait, I should tell you that during the time that I got fascinated about bees,
there was a couple who were coming on safari and they had been writing to me from Singapore
and they were saying, listen, we want to come to Africa, but we're terrified of Ebola.
And I had said to them, listen, Ebola is in North and West Africa.
There's no Ebola in South Africa.
Yeah, but we're very, very afraid of it.
We're very concerned that it could travel. I said, you really have to trust me. There's no Ebola in South Africa. Yeah, but we're very, very afraid of it. We're very concerned that it could travel.
I said, you really have to trust me.
There is no Ebola in South Africa.
You're going to be absolutely safe.
So they had come on safari.
Meantime, I walk up into the back of the village
and I seek out a man by the name of Simon Sambo.
Simon Sambo.
Great name.
Simon Sambo himself has a mellifluous voice, very soft, lilting voice.
And Simon Sambo is the village beekeeper.
So I say to him, Simon, I've got really interested in bees, and I know that you have some hives, and I would love to come and experience your beekeeping.
He says, okay, there's no problem.
I can take your beekeeping.
I said, great.
I'm excited about this.
He says, you'll meet me tomorrow in the morning and we will go and meet the bees.
Great.
Next morning, I meet him and he's got a big sort of black plastic case.
And we drive out to the hives and I'm inappropriately dressed.
I'm in like shorts and t-shirt.
And I said, what do we do now?
He says,
okay,
the first thing is you must put on your beekeeping suit.
So he gives me his suit and I put it on and it's a little bit short for me.
Like literally between my sneaker and my ankle,
I have some exposure.
So I said to him,
Simon,
the suit's a bit short for me because he
had sort of, this was his second suit. He says, don't worry, you can borrow my socks. So he takes
his boots off and he's got thick black socks. And so I sort of feel them and I think, okay,
this is going to be good. And I put the socks on and I like seal up the suit. And I said to him,
cool, Simon, let's get the smoker going now. He says, oh no, I don't use
the smoker. It makes the bees afraid of a fire. So like a little bell goes off in my head. I'm
like, but beekeepers all over the world use the smoker. He says, it's not my style. I'm like,
okay, I'm here to learn. And so Simon and I start heading towards the hives. And I'm talking African bees here.
Now, Tim, amazing thing happens.
As you approach the hive, if you just walk past the hive with no intention of doing anything,
the bees somehow know it.
But the minute you put your intention and attention on them, I don't know how, you know,
it's maybe too woo, but I'm telling you, they feel it.
And as you start walking towards the hive, they start changing gears. Like they're at the Austin
F1 track. You hear the sound changing. So we get up next to the hive and Simon gets out his crowbar
and he cranks the lid off and 70,000 of the most enraged African bees rise up
in a black cloud around me and they're shimmering around me and you can feel the intensity and you
can feel their attitude of, oh, you think you can fuck with us and they're all around you and they
start to land on you. And you know, someone who's grown up around animals, I feel the energy of a single, angry, aggressive animal.
And they're all over me.
And I say, Simon, this is quite intense.
He says, don't worry, everything's okay.
And they start landing on the visor and like blocking the visor out.
And it's super intense.
And right at that moment, in the midst of this like raw buzzing intensity, one bee found my weak sock area and it stung me through the sock.
And the minute as that sting went through the sock,
a huge pheromonal cascade was released to the other bees and the shimmering
swarming dark mass around my head.
It stopped for a second.
And then as one, the bees went to my ankles
and they begin to sting me intensely through the socks.
The socks do not work.
So I think, Simon, Simon, they're stinging me.
Simon, Simon, they're stinging me.
What must I do?
What must I do?
He says, okay, back away.
And they start following me.
And then now I'm being stung hundreds of times.
And then at one stage I look up and there's a bee that's inside the suit. So eventually I get into
the clearing and now I have a swarm of bees around me. They are still penetrating the sock badly.
I say, Simon, what must I do? What must I do? He says, hold on, I will help you. And he runs over
and he cuts a large branch of a tree. And then he runs back and he starts beating me with the branch.
And I'm standing in the clearing getting pounded with the branch.
And they're still stinging me.
They're still all around me.
I said, Simon, it's not working.
It's not working.
He says, okay, I will get the smoker going.
And I just, this thought ran to my head, like, a little late for that.
And he grabbed the smoke.
He starts putting elephant dung in it.
And then he gets it going and he comes over to me and he starts the smoke he starts putting elephant dung in it and then he gets it
going and he comes over to me and he starts blasting me with the smoker and the first blast
went right through the visor of the beekeeping suit and kind of into my mouth and so i got a
big inhale of elephant dung and then my mind and my chest immediately tightened up i started thinking
shit my whole body's going into anaphylaxis is it elephant dung or is it anaphylaxis
and they're still singing me and it's bad.
I said, Simon, they're still singing me.
They're still singing me.
He says, okay, run for your life.
And this is when two men in beekeeping suits
break into a full run through the wilderness.
And we just start running aimlessly at first.
And then he says, they will chase you forever.
Make for the Land Rover.
So we run to the Land Rover and we jump into it.
And he just says, drive, drive, drive.
They are enraged.
I start driving off into the wilderness.
Tim, true as nuts, we come around the first corner.
And on the other safari track driving towards us is the couple from Singapore who've been afraid of Ebola
and they see, what they see is the Ebola cleanup crew
in full white suits driving towards them at full speed going,
you're going to die, you're going to die, drive, drive, drive.
And that was my first encounter with the bees.
So eventually I make it back to the house
and I remember I got into my bedroom and i sat on the bed and i was just trying to feel my own
body and i was like am i dying am i am i dying am i okay like is it kicking in and i got into the
shower and i took all the stings out of my ankles and I made it back onto my bed. And that was me for the next five days.
I did not move.
My feet looked like someone had taken surgical gloves and just blown them up.
And Simon would come around and he would say, hey, boy, how are you doing today?
I said, not good.
He said, I bought some ice for your feet.
Next time we will get you boots.
But you know,
I sat with it.
And what,
what I took out of it was number one,
what the bees taught me is if you want to know about the bees,
respect the bees.
And the next thing that I got was I became intrigued by the power of this
collective ability to fire the
like the collective consciousness algorithm like what would it mean if we all started really
attending to states of peace and healing and well-being and if enough of us did that
could we like the bees you know create some kind of algorithmic transformation for everyone
yeah or stick a lot out of shit out of some invader's ankles.
Intensity.
They taught me so much about intensity.
I think that's what I learned from Independence Day.
If aliens invade, that's a great way for us to activate our hive mind
to sting the shit out of someone's ankles.
Set the bees on them.
All right.
Well, the segue back to what I mentioned earlier is going to be a little
awkward. Let me find an in-between course to get us there that'll maybe lead us back
in some odd way. Could you speak to the moment when a lion notices you and then what happens
at that point? How does an encounter like that unfold?
Well, again, I want to come back to that idea of the minute a lion becomes aware of you and you
become aware of it, you are in a language dialogue and it is a language of energy and presence.
Now, there's usually one of two things that will happen. Either the lion will get up,
and this is 99% of the encounters, the lion's natural instinct is to get away from you.
Remember, people hunted lions for hundreds of years on the plains.
And actually, one of the primary ways that hunter-gatherers got food, and a lot of people
don't know this, is they tracked lions and then they would rob them of their kills.
And so lions have a long history of being chased by humans.
So normally it'll go away from you.
However, that doesn't always happen. Particularly if a lioness has cubs or if they have meat,
they can be aggressive. Now, normally what will happen is the first thing that you will notice
is the animal's body will tighten, they'll drop their head and the tail starts to flick intensely
and they start to warning growl at you. And it sounds like the
growl is so intense, it sounds like someone started a dirt bike in the bush up ahead of you.
And then if it's a lioness and she's got cubs, she'll stand up and still with her head low and
her ears back and the tail lashing, she slowly starts to walk towards you. And she fixes you with a gaze of utter intensity. And the minute she has
you in that gaze, your only option is you have to stand your ground and you have to communicate an
intense presence back to her. So when that happens to me, if I feel myself starting to come into an
encounter where we're going to have a more aggressive, energetic conversation with each
other. And may I just interject for one second to say, when you don't have clients,
true or false, you guys will often go out with just walking sticks.
Yeah, no rifles without clients.
Okay, please continue.
We will, what we most believe in is being in this dialogue.
And so if that happens, the first thing that you do is you breathe out,
a long out breath, because everything in your system is starting to jack up because the feeling
of it is like, I'm in, you can feel your whole system flush with adrenaline. So you breathe out,
you anchor yourself. And then you understand that that lion is trying to communicate with you.
She walks towards you intensely, intensely, and then she'll growl.
And with that, she charges.
And then she runs at you at full speed.
And it's so fast, snarling, full gums revealed, teeth revealed.
And she comes in.
And then you stand your ground and you look her directly in the eyes.
And mostly what will happen is she'll stop some distance from you
as she stops you hold her in your energy and you almost aggressive back to her and you're showing
that like i'm dangerous too and then the minute you see her energy drop a little bit because all
that she's doing is she's trying to anchor you so that the cubs can run away the minute you see her
energy drop a little bit you just start dropping away and you give her,
still facing her, you step back, you give her space.
And very quickly you start communicating to her
that we know we've come too close,
but we're going to give you space now.
But you can only do that once she has stopped coming at you.
If you watch her very intensely,
and Reneas is really the master of this,
as you watch her closely, a slight drop in energy
and he'll move backwards a little bit. And then you get is really the master of this. As you watch her closely, a slight drop in energy and he'll move backwards a little bit.
And then you get out of the situation and you just find yourself giggling stupidly
and doing all the weird things that happen after high tense situations.
So you said most of the time they stop some distance from you.
So what's the alternate scenario?
If you're in the alternate scenario, you've got something very, very wrong.
Yeah.
And the reason that you get into the alternate scenario is that you get it wrong in the moment.
You see, as that charge starts happening, you're in the dialogue, and your presence
is absolutely critical, and your ability to project an energetic presence and meet her,
and then to quickly help her understand that you're not afraid of her, you're dangerous, but you're also going to give way. And when people get killed,
it's because they get that wrong. They fall over, their nerve breaks and they want to run,
or they get scared and they start running immediately. That's when dangerous things happen.
You know, I don't know if you've ever come across this book, but it's one of my favorite
nonfiction books of the last 10 years, which is saying a lot for me because I do read a lot of books. And they already have cleared hurdles, right? I'm not just reading whatever I
randomly pick off of Amazon. I'm getting books that are usually recommended by two or three
people first. In a book called Of Wolves and Men by Barry Lopez, who's won a lot of awards,
he's best known for a book called Arctic Dreams. but of wolves and men. He talks about the conversation between predator and prey as the conversation of death.
And he went out with field biologists and also with Inuit and Native Americans in North
America at various points and observed different hunts and also heard stories from both groups
about this conversation of death. So people listening might think, well, that doesn't make
any sense. A lion is a predator. They can easily overtake you. Why wouldn't they attack you? But
time and time again, the conversation of death wouldn't always end in death. Sometimes a
perfectly capable,
say, pack of wolves would pursue a caribou or an elk or something. And then at one point,
the elk or the caribou do an about face, stand off with the wolves, and then they would just part ways. They just walk in opposite directions. And it seems to defy explanation, but it does
happen. And I found that entire segment of the book, it comes up a number of times, but talking about the nuances in this conversation of death and how these animals interface, there seems to be some communication.
And sometimes it ends in death, and other times it just ends in both parties deciding like, okay, another day.
And then they just go in different directions.
It's something I don't have any real understanding of,
but I find endlessly fascinating.
So it's something that you've had more firsthand experience with, I suppose.
I mean, there's a knowledge out there that is...
And if you actually talk to any people, biologists,
the more time you spend in nature, the more you'll realize how little we
know. There is subtlety and nuance and there is things happening out there that is way beyond
our understanding. Yeah. Yeah. There's another example. I think it's in Of Wolves and Men,
but talking about how there are recorded instances of wolf packs that are being tracked,
presumably with radio collars, but maybe with flyovers or
something like that prior to the satellite collars, because this book was written in the 70s,
that at some point, for no discernible cause, no stimuli that can be identified, we'll just pick up
and all head off in a very precise direction in a more or less straight line. And then four days later,
they intersect perfectly with a caribou herd that happens to be migrating, but started at roughly
the same time moving in a different direction. And the two vectors intersect. It's like, okay,
that seems interesting. I don't know how to explain that exactly. But these types of phenomena
that get observed over and over again, and also,
not to take us too far afield, but these so-called, and in some cases, they're certainly
mythologies, but mythologies about, for instance, in the case of some North American Indians,
the collaboration between coyote and badger. So the joining forces of coyote and badger,
which for a long time was thought to be
this quaint fairy tale. And then during quarantine, this is now about a year, year and a half ago,
there was some type of trail cam footage that was released that showed a coyote playing with
a badger like a dog would, wagging its tail and jumping around and then them leading off through a tunnel
on basically a hunting party.
There's just so much we don't know.
It doesn't surprise me.
I mean, even just some of the stuff around orientation.
You watch a female leopard walk five or six kilometers,
leave her cub, walk five or six kilometers,
then hunt in thick terrain,
walking circles, moving in an irregular way, catch an impala, hoist it in a tree,
and walk a direct line back to where her cub was, which by anyone's standards would just be an
incredible piece of navigation. But she doesn't have a verbal mind or a rational mind, but somehow
through all of that circuitous movement, she knows where she left the cub in a more instinctual way
almost. And then, you know, you find this in native people too, the capacity for homing,
the ability, and I've seen it with trackers who've come down, SAM trackers who've come down
from the Kalahari. They've come into the Kruger National Park, a terrain they've never been in. We've taken them into the Mapani. Mapani is like an
eye-high scrub. And we've walked for a few hours in the Mapani. We have a GPS because we know how
easy it is to get lost in there. And then afterwards we've said to them, okay, take us
back to the vehicle. We've got the GPS and they walk on a beeline directly back to where we left the vehicle.
Wow.
And it's just like, what is that?
Yeah, that's fascinating.
It makes me wonder,
and I think this might actually be demonstrated,
if we have some magnetic homing capability
or navigational ability similar to hammerhead sharks.
There's footage people can find of marine biologists
studying hammerhead sharks,
whether baby hammerhead sharks in an aquarium, basically.
And they have top-down footage of how the movement changes if they rearrange magnets
underneath the encasement.
So many unanswered questions, which is very exciting to me, obviously, because if everything
were discovered, that would be quite depressing in and of itself. Let's come back to these traumatic events in your early 20s, 18 to 20s, and then what followed
after that. How did your healing path, and this might seem like a strange way to lead in, but
differ from those of your mom and sister, right? Because they were also presumably traumatized by
the home invasion,
if you're open to speaking to it. And you could just speak to your own personal experience,
but I'm curious how different people have approached finding some degree of closure,
resolution, healing after an experience like that.
Well, I think for one thing, there was a masculine feminine component to that. They did a lot more post-traumatic counseling at the time. And I wasn't open to that. I thought,
you know, the way that I had grown up, I thought like, I'm just going to get on with it and move
forward, which is, you know, a naive approach to say the least. And then there was also a challenge
that I had where in the masculine it was harder just to process
just process feelings what I needed was a path that I felt was taking me somewhere and so where
that where that really took root for me is when I started to understand that if I was willing to
look at how I had become frozen if I was willing to look at how I had become frozen, if I was willing to look at how I was anxious
and depressed as a result of that, and how that kind of shut me out from living, if I was able
to start living towards that, it actually gave me a kind of map out of trauma. You know, someone
trauma healed becomes a kind of medicine. And so it was only really when I started to understand
that there was value to this just beyond myself. And in fact, if I became someone who learned how to
be in a transformational process and learned how to heal, it was actually taking me towards what
I was meant to do in some very important way. And somehow that structure of meaning had to
take root in me before I was really able to dive into healing spaces and be open to that type of work.
It was different for my mother and sister.
They were able to, in a more feminine way,
allow that process earlier.
For me, there had to be a structure of meaning
that allowed me to engage in healing
and be soft enough and to learn to soften
and to learn to open
and to learn to let myself actually feel what was there
and the fear that was there and the fear
that was there and the uncertainty that was there. And also a feeling that I didn't know
what I really wanted to do. I had a family legacy in conservation. I had a safari business that I
could come into, but I didn't want to just run safaris. I knew there was something else for me.
And I had to go on that journey to find out what that was. When you say structure of meaning, could you elaborate on what that means?
It might seem a little recursive as a question, but how did you find that structure of meaning
that you needed to move forth with contending with what had happened?
So what I mean by that is, okay, so if you've had a traumatic encounter
in the way that I understand it, it's like a part of you becomes frozen and almost inevitably
where there's been trauma, there is a reduction of options, which means I have less choices
and that gets laid down. So life starts to become limited and there's less access to different
choices. A healthy person could say, here's a way of handling this.
Here's a different way of handling it.
A traumatized person has one way of handling it, retreat and isolate, for example.
And then I was lucky to have Martha and she started to expose me to how a healing process
works.
And then very soon after that, I found ceremony work.
Just for context for people listening, could you define ceremony work? There are obviously many different ways of being in ceremony.
You might say that AA is a ceremony space, all the way to sweat lodge spaces, all the way to
gatherings using plant medicines. There's just an array. I found myself in spaces using plant medicines
that were very well guided. So the first part of the journey for me was actually acknowledging
that I was frozen. So there was building awareness around how I'd become frozen.
And then in ceremony, watching, drinking the medicine, being with people who were in a healing energetic, and then watching
how that affected my life, getting to know how I was when I was frozen, then making peace with that,
as opposed to thinking there was something wrong with me. That was a big movement, being like,
this has happened, this is where I'm at, and that's okay. Then starting to give myself different options.
So instead of just being isolated and frozen, starting to actually be able to share the things
that I was ashamed of. In some ways, I was ashamed that I hadn't been able to protect my parents,
my sister and my mother. And I was ashamed that I had let bad guys in the house. I was the man
of the house, all these things. I was able to start to be able to share these things that I was ashamed of. And I was able to talk to
how disempowered I had felt and unable to do what I needed to do. And so I started to generate
awareness out of that. And then I started to realize that in sharing that it actually opened
me to deeper connection as opposed to what I thought it would do, which would shut me out and shun me.
And then I started to, because I was well guided, I started to generate a narrative that was supported.
And what I mean by that is like the guide started to help me generate a narrative of the things that have happened to me can actually be fodder for growth and learning.
And that became really important. of the things that have happened to me can actually be fodder for growth and learning.
And that became really important. And then it actually became, you know, I have some gifts in this. And if I can find those gifts and share them, that's probably the most healing thing I can
do. And so I was in that process for a long time. And at a certain point in it, I started to realize,
in fact, this is taking me to my work. And that's when I started to see the tracker differently. And I started to really understand how a transformational process
is an intricate unfolding. And as a guide, you can support it as a storyteller, you can support it
with presence, you can support it by just listening, you can support it by creating spaces
that people can actually be open in. And you can actually start to know the way certain trauma patterns work and help people
develop awareness and different outcomes for themselves.
And so my healing was actually about finding the purpose to help healing come into the
world, if that makes sense.
It does make sense.
And I wish at some point I'll show you all the highlights and underlying sections in your
book. And I think I might have shown you a photograph of the index that I created just
for the highlights at the front of the book. But one of the lines, this is on page 122 of
The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life, is, in these times, an authentic life infused with meaning
is a kind of activism, right? And then you go on to explain why that's the case. And I think about
this a lot. And you actually had another quote way earlier. Let's see if I can find it. It's from
St. Francis of Assisi. Oh, man. I wish I could find this because it ties into it right.
Wherever you go, spread the gospel. When absolutely necessary, use words.
Exactly.
So don't we all wish more people would follow that advice?
And perhaps advice we should give ourselves as often
or perhaps more often than we give it to anybody else.
And I think this is critical to highlight in the sense that
in this day and age, in these times,
yelling and screaming on the internet and shaming other people or tearing other people down can be
mistaken for something constructive or activism. But in reality, a very powerful form of activism
is being the example that you want
to see more of in the world, right? And holding yourself accountable in that way, which is not
easy. It's really hard oftentimes to do that. And I know both of us have had tremendous struggles
of different types, although I think they share a lot of common DNA. And a lot of this seems to come down to stress testing beliefs, if that
makes sense. If a component of yourself, kind of along the lines of IFS or internal family systems,
if people are interested in that, they can certainly look that up. I did an interview with
Richard Swartz, the founder. But if a component of your personality or psyche is kind of frozen in time
and compartmentalized, and when you are put in circumstances that activate that part of yourself,
you get tunnel vision with options. And maybe you have one option or maybe you have two options.
You can often reduce that down to a belief, right? A statement of some type.
And I'm bringing this up because I would love to hear how Byron
Cady's workshops have been helpful or not helpful for you, because I know this is something we've
spoken about. And if they have been helpful, what specific worksheets have been helpful for you?
Can I talk for a moment to the activism thing and
then come back to Byron Katie? You are allowed, sir. The stage is yours.
One thing on the activism thing, and I would say it like this, and Tim, you've been on a healing
journey. What I notice is that a person who heals has a natural inclination to want to be of service.
And especially if you've had people who've supported you along the way.
And that's not to say that I think I know how you should heal,
but there's just this desire as someone who heals to support the healing impulse and be there.
And you know that there were moments in your own journey that were very powerful for you.
And it's almost just like innate when you get in touch with that,
to want to do that for other people and support that. The way that I think about this is, if you can give yourself
a transformational process and you go on a journey to discover, I would call it the track of your
life, the place where you feel whole, where you feel like you're expressing your essence into the
world, the place where you feel just at peace and in tune with yourself. And it takes time
to get to that. And it seems to me that at a certain point in every lifetime, we get asked,
like, what's it about? And it seems to me it's about that, coming to that place in yourself.
But there are some characteristics of people who I see who deeply find that place. For one,
they become inclined towards simplicity. They don't want a lot of things. A feeling of
enough comes into them and both like, I am enough and I have enough. And they stop wanting to
consume more things to feel okay. There's a natural desire towards service. There seems to be
this like inclination that takes them to be pulled into nature. There's a desire to be creative and support other people.
And that's what I mean is that inside of every healing journey,
and when someone goes on that journey and finds a deeper place of peace,
and it's, of course, it's a continuous journey,
but it seems to me that those things take root.
And that seems to be very important for the restoration movement.
In a very individual way, we do our own work to heal and come to
wholeness. But a whole lot of people coming into that state of, I have enough, I am enough,
you know, it just changes the desire to consume endlessly. And I think that's going to be very
good for nature. And so I see this, like, the restoration movement as both restoring our
relationship to wild places and restoring wild places, but also restoring ourselves, coming to wholeness and healing,
so that we come out of the illusion that more stuff is going to make us feel okay
and realize it's already there in us.
We need to discover that gift and share it.
So that's a little talk on how people who discover that just become embodied activists.
And then Byron Katie's work, I cannot say enough about, and I know you've had
a lot of people on the show who have brought her up, but there is nothing more profound than being
able to identify thoughts that are causing you stress and then have a system to question them.
And on a certain point on a journey, they become absolutely critical because if you are getting
touchy with this place inside yourself and it's curious and it knows sort of what it wants to do and you feel drawn to a've done absolutely ridiculous ones. And she says like,
you know, I've done, my mother shouldn't have taken my cake away. Like literally like that
sort of level of stuff all the way down to I'm not safe or I'm not going to live the life that
I want to live. When you sit in it as meditation and you
get to know yourself, and that's where the process changed for me when I would come up
with a thought like, you know, I'm never going to achieve what I want to achieve.
When I actually sat, like she says, to do in meditation and ask the question,
who am I when I believe that thought? And I started to watch. I feel frustrated. I feel
let down. I don't have confidence in myself. I feel like I'm never doing enough. I feel like
I need to do more. I say yes to things that I don't really want to do. I'm afraid of missing
something. And when I sat in that and got to know myself there, and then who would I be without the thought? I would be relaxed. I would be open.
I would be really feeling for what's a yes and a no for me. I would be listening. I would be
grateful for where I already am. I would be thankful for what I have.
And so for me, I did the work for a long time before realizing it was meditation in which
I was getting to know myself as someone who believed a thought and someone who didn't
believe the thought.
And only when I really understood it to be meditation and I could sit and watch myself
like that, did I feel a compassion of getting to know myself when i
believe a thought and when i don't believe a thought and how powerful that is and that's when
the work really took for me and people can find out more about this at thework.com it's not a
panacea of course and katie issues by katie right or people call her katie of Byron, is a very unusual woman, a unique woman.
Oh, I mean, like, I'll give you a Katie story. The first time I ever met her,
I was sitting at a conference that she was talking at, and I happened to be sitting in the second
row. She sat down next to me, she looked at me, she put her hand out. I took her hand,
and we held hands for an hour while other people talked.
And then she turned and looked at me and she said,
I liked holding your hand.
And then she left.
That was like my first.
And that's Katie,
like totally connected,
totally wild.
And you don't know what's going to happen.
Right.
So I suppose I'm saying this all as a caveat that if you watch videos,
which I think are worth watching,
but you may think, who is this alien?
Get me out of here. But I would also suggest that it's worth investigating. The worksheets I have
found tremendously valuable for myself. If a belief is a thought we take to be true,
having an actual worksheet and structure for stress testing that belief,
right, in the way that you just described, and then also doing turnarounds where if,
for instance, just as one example, if your statement is, I am not safe, having a statement,
I am safe, and then being forced to come up with examples or evidence that you list out that you are safe. And it is incredibly
practical and powerful for diffusing the emotional boiling point, the sort of entropy and redline
emotional state that then puts you into this thought loop where you create this selective
attention where you only see evidence for whatever this belief is that you hold. So yeah, I highly recommend people check that out.
I want to ask you about something that I don't know about, which is true for a lot of this and
a lot of the follow-up questions. The sweat lodge in Arizona, does this cue anything for you?
That was my first medicine encounter.
All right. please say more And so it happened really early on
I had just been through those two traumatic encounters
And I was severely kind of unsure of what I was meant to be doing
And I was staying in Arizona with Martha
And another woman who was apprenticing with her,
who was a horse whisperer by the name of Coel Simpson.
She had ties to the Navajo community and she invited me to attend to a sweat.
And so I was, you know, I'd never been exposed to that before.
So I was really interested.
And so we went to the sweat and we ended up on a kind of
a church ground on the outskirts of Phoenix. And it was one of those classic encounters of like,
what do they say? Like first the enlightenment and then the laundry type thing. It was like,
I knew that it was a very big kind of experience I was about to have. It was a spiritual encounter.
There was a medicine man coming in, but we were also in kind of this like abandoned churchyard.
And then like the
medicine man arrived and he had just like left his job on a Friday afternoon in construction.
And so I was like trying to catch up a little bit with it. But the minute the ceremony started,
I started to feel the energy and we went into the sweat lodge, we drank the medicine.
So in this case, just could you describe for people like how tall is the sweat lodge? How many people? It's presumably completely dark. I mean, once the door closes.
Short, like classic Hogan with blankets over it, you got to crouch to get into it.
Fire area in the middle where the stones come. Huge fire outside where the guys are really
heating up the rocks. And then over the course of about five
hours, the stones just keep coming in and the heat just keeps building and people start to sing.
And we were joined by various other people who had come to the ceremony and it was all native
people and myself and Koel and everyone started singing and the energy started to build and then
more heat and then more singing and then
drum and then more heat. And it just keeps on building. And then people started to let go of
things that they were holding. And so people started to scream and people started to cry
and the music builds and the singing builds. And you can almost feel like the energy is like
conjuring more and more energy. It's like building on itself and it's getting super intense.
And eventually the heat was getting too hot for me.
And I could feel like I'd been told like, don't leave the sweat lodge,
but I'm like, this is too much.
And then the medicine and then the singing.
And suddenly I found myself in this kind of slideshow and my eyes were closed,
Tim, but I saw the gun in my face.
I saw my sister tied up.
I saw the crocodile just break the surface of the water.
I saw all of these images, the gun being taken outside, kneeling down, being told you're
going to be killed, the words, and we're going to kill you, we're going to kill you.
It all just ran through my mind and with vivid, vivid imagery.
And then eventually it got to the point where it was almost
too much and I just started throwing up. And as I started throwing up, the entire imagery changed.
And suddenly I was in the vision. I was back home in South Africa and I was sitting in a clearing
in the late afternoon light and walking across the clearing towards me came the mother leopard and she walked
through the the short grass and she walked directly up to me in the vision and she just bumped me
as she walked past me and in the instant that she bumped me something in me understood that
my own healing and the healing of nature and the healing of the land was somehow connected.
And that's why all I've ever done now is try and tell stories from this place of nature has so much
to teach us if we can attune to it. And then I passed out. Oh, you passed out in the sweat?
I passed out in the sweat. And there was like this vibrational quality to it. I know you have some
experience with these medicines,
but it was almost like I could feel the humming of the earth.
And then eventually I came to, and I was outside the sweat,
and I was lying in a pile of leaves that someone had raked up earlier in the day.
But I was like in the leaves.
And I could feel the earth, and I could feel like the leaves all around me.
And I looked up, and this Navajo medicine man was pouring water up and down my spine
and I was disoriented and I said to him, I think I'm dying, I think I'm dying.
And he kneeled down and he put his mouth right to my ear and he said,
no brother, you're just being born.
And it was weird and I said, but I don't understand what's happening.
And he said, you'll only understand in the next few weeks.
And he was right.
It took a long time to integrate that.
But that was really the beginning of my understanding that the restoration of our relationship with
the natural world can begin inside each one of us.
As each one of us heals, we create an opportunity to create a different relationship with the
natural world. And it's somehow that imagery spoke to the freezing, the trauma that we all go through,
and the opportunity to awaken back to our nature. What did you find unfolded, stuck,
didn't stick for you over the subsequent weeks? You know, that voice stayed with me,
that whisper, you're just being born, because I felt newborn. And I know that, You know, that voice stayed with me, that whisper, you're just being born,
because I felt newborn. And I know that, you know, you probably know this place and many of your listeners who've had psychedelic experiences will know there can be the sense of being new and
almost baby-like, sensitized again. You're feeling again, you feel attuned again, you can feel
people's emotions.
And for me, it was just that.
Like I was feeling again after that experience.
And all of the armor that I had put on had come off.
And I was able to slowly start.
I felt other people's pain.
I felt other people's sadness.
I felt my own.
And I did feel like brand new inside of that.
And it wasn't altogether comfortable, but at least I felt back in some ways.
In fact,
it felt incredibly uncomfortable, but I knew that it was better than where I was. You know, I was recently spending time with an expedition guide who's spent all sorts of time
on Everest and Denali and K2, really fantastic guy. And his name is Eli. And we happened to see the solar eclipse together.
This is a few weeks ago. It was the first time I'd ever seen a solar eclipse. And I think it
was the first time he'd ever seen a solar eclipse. And I asked him how it was for him. And he said,
you know, I went up to some of my friends here at camp and I said to them, I'm like,
I'm not sure what this is. It's like I'm wetting my pants, but it's in my chest. I think they
might be feelings. It's this warm feeling in my chest. I don't know. It's like I'm peeing my
pants in my chest. They might just be feelings. So yes. It's so funny because I had this buddy
of mine who's a Navy SEAL. And he says to me, so I recently met this dog named Butters.
And I find myself thinking about Butters.
And he's a friend of mine's dog.
And I go out and I think about Butters.
And I'm always worried about Butters.
And I take Butters treats.
And I go over there.
I always want to check on Butters.
And what do you make of that?
I think that's called love.
He's like, yeah, I always feel butters right here in my
chest. I'm like, I think you're having the experience of loving butters. And he was like,
this is outrageous. Yeah, sometimes we have to build the vocabulary, learn the ABCs,
or just rebuild them, reactivate them. Leopard in the fire.
This is another cue.
And just for people who are wondering what the hell I'm doing with these cues,
sometimes I will ask people,
or I'll ask my research team to give me cues
for stories that they think will be fun
or productive or profound or interesting to explore,
but I don't want to know them in advance
because otherwise the conversation is less fun for me.
So leopard in the fire. What Leopard in the Fire refer to?
Leopard in the Fire occurred, it's kind of two parts to the story. The first is that when I was very young, I heard a story around a campfire that like stuck inside of me. And it was a story about
a man by the name of Lawrence Van der Post. And Van der
Post, you may have come across some of his work, but he was a tremendous poet and an artist. And
he had one of those miraculous lives. He was a philosopher, really. But Van der Post grew up on
a farm in South Africa. He was very connected to the native people. He learned to track when he
was young. And then he ended up going to fight in the Second World War. And in fact, in the Second World War, he was eventually taken prisoner. He was in a
prisoner of war camp. And the story as I heard it was that he returned to South Africa after the war
and he really wanted to go and see his family, but he felt he couldn't face them after the things
that he had seen and that he had done.
And so instead of going to see his family, he decided that he would go alone into the Kruger National Park, very near where I grew up. So he packed up his gear and he walked out into the
reserve and he set up this little camp. And this was, of course, before the days of diagnoses like
PTSD. And the story goes on the very first
night he was sitting at the base of a marula tree next to the small waterhole and I can imagine
after the war the stillness he must have felt and somewhere nearby a hyena started calling
and then a nightjar would have called somewhere you know dear lord deliver us and I think of him
sitting there in that stillness after the war.
And on the other side of the waterhole, a kudu started to come towards the waterhole to drink.
And a kudu is like a large antelope?
Oh, this beautiful regal animal.
And it moves with this incredible elegance.
And the kudu walked to the edge of the waterhole.
And then with these huge ears,
its ears listened and you can actually see the ears moving like satellite dishes as they listen and it scanned the terrain all around and then very slowly it put its lips down and it started
to drink. And just as it started to drink, a breeze touched Van Der Post's back and it blew
his scent over the waterhole and straight into the nostrils of the Kudu.
And it put its head up and it looked directly at him.
And for a moment, their eyes met.
And Van der Post said that in that moment, in the stillness of that gaze, he felt a kind of innocence come back into him after all he had seen and all he had done in the war.
And instantly in that moment, he knew he was able to go and see his family again. And as a young kid, I think I was maybe eight or nine when I was sitting around
the fire and I first heard the story and I didn't even know why, but it struck something in me. And
years later after the crocodile, Solly and I had been sitting around the fire. We'd been talking a
lot and I was recovering. And the fire. We'd been talking a lot.
And I was recovering.
And the experience of being attacked by the crocodile was profound because really it had brought me closer to Solly.
And I had learned so much about how he saw the world.
And his worldview was starting to come into me a more relational way of relating to nature
and to other people.
But still, I felt myself incredibly anxious and frozen.
I literally felt like I had this incredibly anxious and frozen. I literally
felt like I had this shake in my body and I couldn't get it out. Like I would look at my
hand and my hand would be shaking. I would wake up at night. I had pretty severe PTSD.
And into the teeth of this, a fire broke out on the reserve. And I don't know if you've ever been
in a big bushfire, but the first thing you notice about a bushfire is just the intensity of the sound.
It sounds like it hisses and crackles up ahead of you. The smoke drifts across the sun and it
bathes everything in this eerie orange light. And then insects that are escaping the blaze start
flying up. And what you get is an aura of hawks and eagles hawking insects out the sky. You feel
the ground start to shake if you go out
to fight it and you look to your right and out of the smoke comes a rhino and it books past you,
snakes escaping the fire coming past you. And in this instant, Tim, with PTSD, I was highly
activated and we fought that fire for three days. And then eventually on the eve of the third day,
the fire had burned through and the crews were the third day, the fire had burned through
and the crews were still fighting it, but I had become isolated from them. I was about a mile or
two away from them. And I was in an area that the fire had already burned through and night was
starting to fall. And I could see the crews on the horizon in the distance, and I could still
see the fire was lighting the sky in this big orange blaze. And in fact, the area that I was in,
the smoke was still hanging on the ground all around me. And in the darkness to my right,
I heard a sound like someone cutting a two by four. And immediately I knew that there was a
leopard in the darkness to the right of me. And so I turned to look and walking out of the darkness
into the faint light that the
fire was throwing came this male leopard.
And he was walking directly towards me, which is extremely, one, it was strange that he
was in an area where there'd been a fire.
And two, it was strange that he was walking directly towards me.
And when I saw him and I looked at him and he became aware that I was aware of him, no
aggression came into his body. He didn't drop his head. He didn't tighten his shoulders. He just continued to walk towards me. And I, in fact, dropped down onto my haunches. And part of what I wanted to do is he wasn't being aggressive. So I dropped down because I wanted to give myself the space to escalate. If he became aggressive, I would stand up. And if he became more aggressive, I could put my arms up. I was giving myself room to create more energy. And he continued to move towards me. And as I watched him,
he was walking through the smoke and the smoke was almost dancing around him. And his eyes were lit
by the fire on the horizon. And his whole coat, that beautiful rosetted coat was bathed in this
beautiful, deep orange light from the fire. And he continued to
come towards me. And as he walked towards me, I felt this very ancient primal energy wake up
inside of me. And then he stopped when he was about 10 yards away. And he was so close to me
that I could hear him breathing. And what it felt like to me is that in that moment it was as if I could feel his body in my body
and I could feel my body almost creating a kind of mimesis to his energy and I felt myself becoming
incredibly alert but incredibly still and there was no thought of the future and there was no thought of the future, and there was no thought of the past.
There was just an energy circulating between this incredibly beautiful, wild, elusive,
dangerous cat and I. And then slowly he turned to look at me, and then he walked past the front of
me, and in a moment he disappeared into the darkness. And as he walked away from me, and I felt into my own body, instead of more
anxiety and fear, and this shake that I had had, I felt myself in this profound state of stillness.
And I knew in that moment that that leopard had helped me understand what happened to Funderpost.
And I also knew that I had gone to a place in myself that I could never have gone to alone.
That leopard had almost taken me into a state of stillness. And if I think about that Ubuntu
consciousness, that relational consciousness, what Solly taught me was that the Ubuntu consciousness
is activated through action. And what the leopard taught me in that moment, and what I think
van der Post experienced is that the Ubuntu consciousness, the relational consciousness
is also activated when we in a moment let go and let someone else take us to a place
we couldn't get to ourselves or another sentient being. And I think about that a lot as someone who
tends to be quite controlling. Like there comes a point where I want to let go and go somewhere where I just can't get to with my own control, my own sense of how it should be, my own sense that I know how this should unfold.
And that leopard just took me there in a moment.
And so all through my life, I've had glimpses of something, and I can't exactly say what it is, but I keep living towards it.
It's a beautiful story. God, just the imagery that conjures. I see it sort of in slow motion,
almost as if it's shot on film from a Francis Ford Coppola film. Wow. It's really just a striking
story. And it makes me think of a few things also. You mentioned
a horse whisperer earlier. And for the last few years, I've been very interested in
these natural encounters, of course, but it's very challenging to manufacture those experiences.
So I've also spent time looking at, for instance, equine therapy and how horses are used in partnership with
patients of different types for therapeutic purposes. And I think it fascinates me,
as many therapies do, that are predominantly nonverbal. I think that we overweight the
verbal perhaps. And so I spent time, I wish I could remember the
name, but a number of equine therapy centers, one in Texas. And oddly, but maybe not oddly,
I also learned when I went to a wolf sanctuary and I volunteered there for a period of time
in Colorado. And I should explain, it's Mission Wolf, missionwolf.org. I recommend people check it out. In the middle of nowhere in Colorado.
And they are effectively a place of sanctuary for wolves or wolf dogs that cannot be released
into the wild. So they're not captive wolves per se. They're wolves or wolf dogs
often who were raised in captivity under terrible and atrocious circumstances and then somehow made
their way to mission wolf. There are other examples. And there are also kind of second
generation or third generation wolves who are very much wild, right? Like
Arctic wolves. And I mean, they're all effectively gray wolves, but come from different areas and
therefore have different coats. And they're in really large enclosures, like multi-acre
enclosures. But there are a few who are, because of their history prior to getting to
Mission Wolf, are accustomed or not terrified of human beings.
They can be near humans because wolves, by instinct, don't want to be anywhere close to humans.
And if they bark, it's usually a fear response, like a fear bark. They're not like dogs at all
in that respect. And if they bark, I mean, they'll stay as far away from you as possible
on the opposite side of an enclosure. But when groups come through, say school groups or visitors, and they have a limited capacity for visitors, which is why I
volunteered. But when they come in, there's an opportunity in some instances to meet the
ambassador wolves. So you're let into an enclosure, and then they let a number of these ambassador
wolves in. And I heard repeatedly stories of these wolves going
directly to whoever was most internal in a group, whoever was most closed off in a group, whether
that be a child with autism or a veteran with PTSD, and would go right up to them and look
straight into their eyes. And I heard this story repeatedly from
multiple staff members. And much like Vanderpost and your experience, but in this case with a wolf
sort of staring directly into the soul of this animal, and more importantly, maybe the animal
staring directly into you, many of those people reporting that it was the first time they really,
truly felt seen. And I just feel like there's so much beauty and value in that. It's something
so worthy of exploration. And it's fascinating that it can occur not just from another human, not just from a prey animal like a kudu, but also
from a predator. It's very, or a leopard for that matter. I mean, it's so deeply interesting and
begets so many questions. I just wanted to mention that because it's also something,
you know, looked into the eyes of a number of these wolves. it's very different. The presence, not better or worse, but just
fundamentally different in a wolf as compared to, say, that of a dog. They are very different
creatures, even though the wolf is certainly the progenitor of the dog. And I haven't read it yet,
but I think National Geographic had a cover story at one point called From Wolf to Woof, which is one of the best headlines I've ever heard in my life.
But for more info on Mission Wolf, people can just go to missionwolf.org. And I think they do
some very, very interesting work. I would love to ask you, because you brought up the name,
and I can't let you go without asking for this story. So Lawrence Fenderpost, that's the name, and I can't let you go without asking for this story. So, Lawrence Fenderpost,
that's the name you mentioned, right? So, he described the lion's roar. He said that it,
quote, it is to silence what the shooting star is to the night sky, end quote, right? Tremendous.
It's this one of a kind. I know where you're taking me. Yeah, yeah, you know where I'm going.
This one of a kind, it's onea-kind experience that cannot be replicated.
So please take us to, at a well-known company, you were invited to give a presentation. And
could you tell us the story of how that presentation went?
Oh my God, from the beauty of Van der Post's quote to my ridiculous life as a storyteller.
Yes, please.
So this was early on when I first started speaking a lot
and telling stories to people. And I got this gig at one of these Silicon Valley companies.
And normal story, I got there early and I arrived to meet the tech guy to make sure that we were
well set up. And normal story, the tech guy was late. He had to have a cigarette break. You know,
like that archetypal tech guy who's like running the AV, like it was that guy. And so eventually I said to him, like, listen,
man, like, I just really want to run through my slides. Like, I want to make sure that we're all
good. And he's like, listen, I need to upload the system so that we can stream to the whole company.
I'll get to you in a second, but we're all good. I'm like, dude, I need to like get some reps.
Like classic, like I want to be well prepared.
Anyway, people start filing in, people start filing in. And before I know it, the auditorium's full and I haven't done the run through and I'm in my worst nightmare. Now the intro to my,
the intro to my talk is, is a, there's a sort of a poetic speech. And then I say, and my story, like many good stories in Africa,
begins with a lion roaring.
And then I press my clicker.
And on a huge screen behind me, there's an early morning image
of a male lion.
And he's roaring into the morning.
So actually, like, mist is coming out of his mouth.
And what's meant to happen is people are meant to be overwhelmed
by this incredible barotone audio. And it's meant to put them right in the moment.
And of course, the lion is doing the action of roaring, which is a bit of a convulsion,
but there's no sound. So you're in the middle of the presentation, you press click and no sound.
Just a convulsing silent lion.
And it was at this point and it dawned on me like slow enough for it to be truly painful that I realized I was about to roar at a group of executives.
And I grabbed the lapel mic and I held it close to my mouth.
And then I synced up my roar with the lion.
Whoa. mic and I held it close to my mouth and then I synced up my roar with the lion. And the problem with the damn clip is it went on for a long time. And then when a lion winds down, he goes, and so literally the intro and i was like why won't this lion stop
oh my god it was painful it just went on and on anyway i got through the presentation
and still to this day tim i'm going to be honest with you If I lie in bed and I think about that
A wave of shame will travel through me
And I'll have to like curl over on my side and just rock myself
Oh god yeah
Did you get any pats on the back or any stiff drinks handed to you after that one?
Well the thing that saved the whole damn thing
Is that like eventually when I finished roaring
One person started clapping and everyone like went for it and so the whole room ended up clapping
and that like kind of like moved the energy and we were into the presentation i was like thank god
thank god for lauren or whoever that was yeah thanks lauren it was like one of those moments
also where you realize like you can't half roar at a group of executives. You've either got to not do it or go all in.
I was like, let's go.
Thanks for nothing, AV guy.
Such a great story.
So I got to say, first, for people listening, get a copy of The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life.
I rarely make an endorsement like that. It's a
small book. You can read it in one or two nights or afternoons. And as I mentioned,
it's one of the few books that I have an entire shelf dedicated to in my guest bedroom. It found
me at the right time. So maybe it doesn't find everyone at the right time. But for me,
it really found me at the right time. And it's a book I've reread, which is also something I
cannot say for many books. And you work with individuals, you work with companies. I find
your approach to life and sort of your multi-sensory, multi-modality perspective
on life to be not just fascinating, but very practical. You've spent a lot of time
testing, developing, inheriting, learning tools. And I think that, as you mentioned,
given the trauma that you've experienced and the challenges that you've had to overcome,
some people, and I think you have certainly done this,
can convert that pain and that university of suffering into part of the medicine that you bring to the world. And I think you do that not just well, but very beautifully. So first,
I just want to thank you for that. Thank you, Tim. I really appreciate you saying that.
Yeah, absolutely. And I just wanted to know if there's anything,
I want to leave a couple of stories.
I still have a couple of notes,
which I don't know the context behind,
but I want to save a couple in case we do a round two.
Although I know you have no shortages.
I might ask you about,
was it your uncle in the boat with the outboard?
I can't remember who it was,
but that'll have to be saved for another time. They're all in there,
but some of them only get pulled out
with a bit of scotch and a campfire.
All right, well, round two might be with scotch and a campfire.
But is there anything you would like to say,
any last closing comments for the audience,
request, recommendation, anything at all?
Anything else, something you'd like to point their attention to? Anything at all that you'd like to share before we wind to a close this time around?
Well, firstly, just thanks for having me. And it's a privilege to support a show that has had
such an impact on so many people and be a part of it. So I'm just really grateful to you and
been fun getting to know you. I would say a few things. I would say one is I would invite people to come on safaris
in Africa. It's a very unique encounter with a landscape that is still wild. And when people come
and have safaris at a place like Londolozi or wherever they go, it has a profound impact on
allowing us to protect these areas and on the local people. And so, you know, we've always been,
I've always been a proponent of the economy of wildlife. We keep these areas wild. We invite people to come and experience
them. And that has a huge impact. So if you're thinking about a holiday, come on a safari. If
you're thinking about a safari, come. It's a once in a lifetime experience. I would say that if you
are interested in tracking, you can support the Tracker Academy, trackeracademy.co.za. They do amazing work supporting young people from difficult backgrounds and teaching them
to become trackers.
They have a nearly 90% placement rate into the tourism industry.
So they do amazing work.
Those would be the two things that I would offer to people.
Where can people learn more about the Safari site if they wanted to learn more about that?
You can get a hold of us at londolosi.com.
You can also get a hold of me at boydvati.com.
My team will point you in the right direction.
And Tracker Academy, yes, is trackeracademy.co.za.
Dot Z-A for my fellow Americans out there.
Yeah, Z-A.
I like the Z.
It sounds more dignified.
It's nice to see you, Boyd.
I'm glad we did this with a bit of video as well
for people who want to see it on YouTube.
They can just search for Tim Ferriss on YouTube
and it'll pop right up.
But I know we are many time zones away at the moment.
That won't be true in the not too distant future.
So I'm looking forward
to spending some time in person. Me too, man. I'm looking forward to getting you out here.
We got to track a rhino. I'm excited to track a rhino and I'm excited not to have any legs eaten
by crocs. And I'm very much looking forward to finally getting feet on the ground at Londolozion,
getting to meet some of these characters that I have only read about and heard about at this point,
both human and animal alike. So thanks for taking the time today, man. I really appreciate it.
Yeah, thank you, Tim. Thanks for having me.
Enjoyed it even more than I expected to, and I expected to enjoy it a hell of a lot.
So to everybody listening, you'll find show notes to everything that we discussed at
tim.blogs.com. You can just search Boyd, B-O-Y-D, and it'll pop right up. You can find
them online at boydvardy.com. We'll link to Londolozi, trackercademy.co.za, and everything
else in the show notes, as well as Boyd on Twitter, at Boyd Vardy, and all the rest.
His books, The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life and his memoir, Cathedral of the Wilds, can both be found everywhere books are sold. And until next time,
experiment often, be safe, be kinder than is necessary, even just a little bit,
and see if you can get out in nature. It will be good medicine for the soul. And thanks for tuning in.
Hey guys, this is Tim again. Just one more thing before you take off. And that is Five Bullet Friday. Would you enjoy getting a short email from me every Friday that provides a little fun
before the weekend? Between one and a half and two million people subscribe to my free newsletter,
my super short newsletter called Five Bullet Friday. Easy to sign up,
easy to cancel. It is basically a half page that I send out every Friday to share the coolest things I've found or discovered or have started exploring over that week. It's kind of like my diary of cool
things. It often includes articles I'm reading, books I'm reading, albums perhaps, gadgets,
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to think about. If you'd like to try it out, just go to tim.blog slash Friday, type that into your browser, tim.blog slash Friday,
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