The Tim Ferriss Show - #630: Insights from Dr. Matthew Walker, Adam Grant/Atul Gawande, Diana Chapman, and Rich Roll/David Goggins
Episode Date: October 25, 2022Brought to you by Athletic Greens all-in-one nutritional supplement, Pique premium pu’er tea crystals, and Shopify global commerce platform providing tools to start..., grow, market, and manage a retail business. Welcome to another episode of The Tim Ferriss Show, where it is usually my job to deconstruct world-class performers to tease out the routines, habits, et cetera that you can apply to your own life. This episode is something different. It’s an experimental format that I’m super excited about, and it’s back by popular demand.This is an episode that scratches an itch I’ve had for years. I am not always able to listen to every great podcast episode out there, even when they are by some of my closest friends. The answer to my predicament was to ask them to send me a top segment from their podcast that I could listen to and—more importantly—also share with you, my dear listeners. My team edited them together, and here we are! This episode is a compilation of 15-to-30–minute clips from some of the best podcasters—and also best interviewees—in the world and certainly some of my favorites.At the beginning of each clip, you will hear an intro from the host and where to find their work and podcast. I’ll also share one or two of my favorite clips from episodes of The Tim Ferriss Show.You can view this episode as a buffet, and I strongly suggest that you check out the shows included. If you like my podcast, you will very likely enjoy the featured shows in this episode.And before you go: Do you like this format? Please let me know on Twitter at @tferriss and also mention @TeamTimFerriss.Please enjoy!*This episode is brought to you by Pique! I first learned about Pique through my friends Dr. Peter Attia and Kevin Rose, and now Pique’s fermented pu’er tea crystals have become my daily go-to. I often kickstart my mornings with their Pu’er Green Tea and Pu’er Black Tea, and I alternate between the two. This rare type of naturally fermented tea is more concentrated in polyphenol antioxidants than any other tea—it supports focus and mental clarity, healthy digestion, metabolism, and a healthy immune system. Their crystals are cold extracted, using only wild-harvested leaves from 250-year-old tea trees. Plus, they triple toxin screen for heavy metals, pesticides, and toxic mold—contaminants commonly found in tea. I also use the crystals for iced tea, which saves a ton of time and hassle. Pique is offering up to 20% off of their pu’er teas, exclusively to my listeners. To sweeten the deal even more, you’ll get a free sampler pack with 6 of their best-selling teas. Simply visit PiqueLife.com/Tim, and the discount will be automatically applied. They also offer a 30-day satisfaction guarantee, so your purchase is completely risk-free. Just go to PiqueLife.com/Tim to learn more.*This episode is also brought to you by Athletic Greens. I get asked all the time, “If you could use only one supplement, what would it be?” My answer is usually AG1 by Athletic Greens, my all-in-one nutritional insurance. I recommended it in The 4-Hour Body in 2010 and did not get paid to do so. I do my best with nutrient-dense meals, of course, but AG further covers my bases with vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced micronutrients that support gut health and the immune system. Right now, Athletic Greens is offering you their Vitamin D Liquid Formula free with your first subscription purchase—a vital nutrient for a strong immune system and strong bones. Visit AthleticGreens.com/Tim to claim this special offer today and receive the free Vitamin D Liquid Formula (and five free travel packs) with your first subscription purchase! That’s up to a one-year supply of Vitamin D as added value when you try their delicious and comprehensive all-in-one daily greens product.*This episode is also brought to you by Shopify! Shopify is one of my favorite platforms and one of my favorite companies. Shopify is a platform designed for anyone to sell anywhere, giving entrepreneurs the resources once reserved for big business. In no time flat, you can have a great looking online store that brings your ideas to life, and you can have the tools to manage your day-to-day and drive sales. No coding or design experience required.More than a store, Shopify grows with you, and they never stop innovating, providing more and more tools to make your business better and your life easier. Go to Shopify.com/Tim for a FREE trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features.*[07:10] Who is Matt Walker?[07:39] Drowsiness is the sincerest form of flattery here.[09:01] Alcohol and sleep.[16:58] Caffeine and sleep.[25:25] Who are Adam Grant and Atul Gawande?[26:24] “Just say yes until you’re 40, and after 40, just say no.”[30:17] Avoiding burnout during the “say yes” phase.[31:57] Worst advice Atul has gotten.[32:36] Why should everyone (including a busy surgeon) have a coach?[36:22] Receiving and reacting to feedback.[39:17] The culture of an organization is the worst behavior you tolerate.[42:30] Who is Diana Chapman?[42:58] The Drama Triangle.[49:25] Body intelligence.[51:56] A walkthrough for getting in tune with your whole-body yes (or no).[1:00:28] Who are Rich Roll and David Goggins?[1:03:56] Why haven’t you done that thing you’ve been talking about for years?[1:04:43] Why your flimsy excuses don’t matter to David.[1:08:27] The Accountability Mirror.[1:11:05] Participation trophies.[1:12:00] How do you overcome what’s really holding you back?*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This episode is brought to you by Pique. That's P-I-Q-U-E. I have had so much tea in my life.
I've been to China. I've lived in China, in Japan. I've done tea tours. I drink a lot of tea.
And 10 years plus of physical experimentation and tracking has shown me many things,
chief among them, that gut health is critical to just about everything. And you'll see where
tea is going to tie into this. It affects immune function, weight management, mental performance, emotional health, you name it. I've been drinking
fermented pu-erh tea specifically pretty much every day for years now. Puerh tea delivers more
polyphenols and probiotics than you can shake a stick at. It's like providing the optimal fertilizer
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only wild harvested leaves from 250-year-old tea trees. I often kickstart my mornings with
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This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Shopify is one of my favorite companies out
there. One of my favorite platforms ever. And let's get into it. Shopify is one of my favorite companies out there, one of my favorite platforms ever.
And let's get into it. Shopify is a platform, as I mentioned, designed for anyone to sell anything anywhere, giving entrepreneurs the resources once reserved for big business. So what does that mean?
That means in no time flat, you can have a great looking online store that brings your ideas,
products, and so on to life. And you can have the tools to manage your day-to-day
business and drive sales. This is all possible without any coding or design experience whatsoever.
Shopify instantly lets you accept all major payment methods. Shopify has thousands of
integrations and third-party apps, from on-demand printing to accounting to advanced chatbots,
anything you can imagine. They probably have a way to plug and play and make it
happen. Shopify is what I wish I had had when I was venturing into e-commerce way back in the early
2000s. What they've done is pretty remarkable. I first met the founder, Toby, in 2008 when I became
an advisor, and it's been spectacular. I've loved watching Shopify go from roughly 10 to 15 employees
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in 175 countries with total sales on the platform exceeding $400 billion.
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Optimal minimum. At this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking.
Can I ask you a personal question?
Now would have seemed an appropriate time.
What if I did the opposite?
I'm a cybernetic organism, living tissue over metal endoskeleton.
The Tim Ferriss Show.
Hello boys and girls, ladies and germs. This is Tim Ferriss. Welcome to another episode of
The Tim Ferriss Show, where it is usually my job to deconstruct world-class performers to tease out
their routines, habits, et cetera, that you can apply to your own life and lives. This episode
is something different. It's an experimental format that I am super excited about. And
apparently, so are many of you. It's backed by popular demand.
This is an episode that scratches an itch I've had for many years now. I'm not always able to
listen to every great podcast episode out there, even when they are by some of my closest friends.
To answer that predicament, I decided to ask them, many of my friends, to send a top segment
from their own podcasts that I could listen to and more
importantly, also share with you, my dear listeners. My team edited them together and
here we are. This episode is a compilation of roughly 15 to 30 minute clips from some of the
best podcasters and also best interviewees in the world and certainly some of my favorites.
At the beginning of each clip, you will hear an intro from the host and where to find their work and podcast. At the end, I'll also share one or two
of my favorite clips from episodes of The Tim Ferriss Show. You can view this episode as a
buffet, and I strongly suggest that you check out the shows included. If you like my podcast,
you will very likely enjoy the featured shows in this episode. For the full list of the guests
featured today, see the episode's description, or as usual, head to tim.blog slash podcast for all the details.
And before you go, do you like this format? Please let me know on Twitter at T Ferris,
T-F-E-R-R-I-S-S, and also mention slash CC at Team Tim Ferris if you remember.
Without further ado, please enjoy.
Hi there. My name is Matt Walker, and I am a professor of neuroscience at the University
of California, Berkeley. I'm also the author of the book,
Why We Sleep, and I've given a couple of TED Talks here and there as well. I'm also the host
of the Matt Walker podcast, a sample of which I wanted to offer here. Now, I think it's safe to
say that when most podcasters think about their audience perhaps falling asleep or
nodding off while listening, it can be profoundly disheartening. However, based on the topic of
this podcast, I'm going to actively encourage that kind of behavior from you. In fact, knowing what I know, particularly about
the relationship between sleep and memory, it's the greatest form of flattery for me to think
that people like you cannot resist the urge to strengthen and consolidate what I'm telling you
by falling asleep. So please just feel free to ebb and flow in and out of consciousness
throughout the entire episode. I'll take absolutely no offense. And today, in terms of the episode,
we're going to speak about two things. First, I'm going to tell you about the impact of alcohol on your sleep, which right from the off is going to make me deeply unpopular.
And if that wasn't bad enough, I'm going to follow it up by speaking about the impact of caffeine on your sleep.
So let's first speak about nightcaps. And here, by the way, I'm not speaking
about the physical kind. What I'm talking about here is the liquid kind. We're talking about
alcohol and sleep. So we're going to talk a little bit about what alcohol is as a chemical.
Then we'll speak about how alcohol impacts your sleep, and then we'll
explain why it is that alcohol has these harmful impacts on your sleep. Alcohol is perhaps one of
the most misunderstood sleep aids that there is out there. As we're going to learn, it is anything
but a sleep aid. And even though people may feel as
though a wee drink in the evening, or several drinks in the evening, may be helping their sleep,
in fact, it's harming your sleep. Alcohol will impact your sleep in three specific ways. First, alcohol is in a class of drugs that we call the sedatives,
and sedation is not sleep. But when we've had a drink in the evening, we mistake the former
for the latter. We mistake sedation for sleep. And I should probably explain in a little more detail
what the difference is between those two. Because sedatives, such as
alcohol, will effectively switch off brain cell firing, particularly in your cortex. Sleep,
on the other hand, is very different. As we learned about in the first episode of this podcast, it's during sleep and especially during deep sleep when
hundreds of thousands of brain cells all of a sudden decide to sing together in this amazing
feat of coordination. And they all fire together and then they all go silent together. And then
they fire together and then they all go silent together. And then they fire together, and then they all go silent
together. And that's very different to sedation. And if I were to show you the electrical signature
of your sleep when you have alcohol on board versus a natural night of sleep, you would
recognize that those two electrical signature patterns are very different. So that's the first issue
regarding alcohol. We shouldn't mistake sedation for sleep. But when we've had a few drinks in
the evening, we tend to think that we fall asleep more quickly. In reality, all we're actually doing
is losing consciousness more quickly. We're not going into naturalistic sleep. The second issue with alcohol
is that it fragments your sleep. In other words, alcohol will litter your sleep with many more
awakenings throughout the night. One of the problems, by the way, with these short awakenings
is that you typically don't remember them, but it still leaves your sleep peppered or littered
with all of these brief awakenings. In other words, your sleep is less continuous.
And a good example of this is a recent experimental study conducted in a sleep laboratory.
If you take a group of healthy adults and you give them a body standardized dose of alcohol one that would
probably just put you right at the legal blood alcohol content limit for driving and then you
let the sleep recordings offer the the sort of the jury verdict as it were relative to a placebo
night of sobriety sleep especially in the second half of the night, was far more
fragmented when alcohol had been taken on board. Indeed, come the last four hours of the night,
those participants spent 94% more time awake having had alcohol in the evening relative to
when they were sober. Because of that fragmentation
of your sleep caused by alcohol, despite the fact that you don't remember it, you wake up the next
morning and you don't feel restored by your sleep. You don't feel refreshed by your sleep.
The third concern with alcohol is that it will block your rapid eye movement sleep or what we often think of
as dream sleep. In fact alcohol is one of the most potent suppressors of REM sleep. That's perhaps
concerning considering that REM sleep is associated with a constellation of different benefits both
for your brain and also for your body and we'll speak about those in
subsequent episodes but this includes things such as learning and memory, creativity, rebalancing
your moods and your emotions and downstairs in the body REM sleep is associated with the
recalibration of numerous different hormone systems including for example testosterone and more recently we've
discovered that REM sleep is significantly associated with your longevity and the less
REM sleep that you have predicts a shorter lifespan so in other words REM sleep seems to be
critical for numerous aspects of health and wellness even for the fundamentals of life. Which brings me on to one of the strange side effects of alcohol.
Some people, and I'm not suggesting it's you listening to this,
but let's just say some hypothetical people may have gone out on a Friday night or a Saturday night
and they've had a good number of
drinks and the next morning they may end up experiencing very vivid, very strong and very
intense dreams. Why is this? Well it turns out that your brain keeps a clock counter of how much REM
sleep you should normally have and how much REM sleep that you have lost as a
consequence of alcohol being in your system. The brain throughout the night then starts to build
this incredible hunger for REM sleep, this drive for REM sleep because it's been starved during the
early part and the middle part of the night as the alcohol has been washing around
in your system. And then if you sleep late into that subsequent morning, into a Saturday or a
Sunday morning after a few too many drinks, your brain will try to get back some of the REM sleep
that it has lost. So then as you're sleeping late into that subsequent morning after a night of a
few too many drinks, your brain is clever. Having kept a clock counter of how much REM sleep you
should have had, but how much REM sleep you have not been able to achieve, it will try to get back
some of the REM sleep that has been absent. This is what we call a REM sleep rebound effect. In other words,
the brain in those last few hours of the night when your liver and your kidneys have finally
cleared out the alcohol will not only try to get the normal amount of REM sleep that you would have,
but it will also try to get back some of the REM sleep that you have lost. As a consequence, that's why you
have these really intense, really vivid dream experiences. And again, just to make mention,
the brain never gets back all of the REM sleep that it's lost. It will only get back some of
that REM sleep during the REM sleep rebound effect. So that's a little bit about what alcohol is and the three
different ways in which alcohol can disrupt your sleep and also some of the ways that it can give
you some rather strange rather vivid dreams on the morning after. So that's sleep and alcohol
but now let me transition to something different, sleep and caffeine.
This is perhaps going to sound strange coming from someone like me, but I'm going to suggest
that you drink coffee, because the health benefits associated with coffee are numerous,
and many of them are significant. And in a separate episode of my podcast that we
won't feature here, I will tell you why coffee is associated with those health benefits.
But for the rest of this episode, we're going to focus on exactly what caffeine is as a substance, and then we'll dive deep into how caffeine can
impact your sleep at night in several different ways. Also, we'll speak about how and why
different people can be more or less vulnerable to the effects of caffeine.
So let's start with exactly how caffeine works. In our previous episode on
sleep pressure, we learned all about how caffeine can keep you awake during the day. Here, we're
going to focus on how caffeine can impact your sleep at night. Caffeine is in a class of drugs
that we call the psychoactive stimulants, and I'm sure that you knew that
caffeine was some form of a stimulant. However, there are several hidden consequences of caffeine
that you may be less aware of. One of these is the duration of action. Caffeine has what we call
a half-life of about five to 6 hours in the average adult.
In other words, after 5 to 6 hours, 50% of that caffeine is still going to be in your system.
What that means is that caffeine will then have a quarter-life of about 10 to 12 hours.
So, in other words, let's say that you have a cup of coffee at 2 p.m. in the afternoon. Almost a
quarter of that caffeine could still be circulating in your brain at midnight, or perhaps even more
than a quarter of that caffeine. And the probably rather crass analogy here would be that if you
have a cup of coffee at 2 p.m., it would be the equivalent of getting into bed at midnight,
and just before you turn the lights out, you swig a quarter of a cup of coffee, and you hope for a
good night of sleep, and it tends not to happen. In part, this comes back to the stimulant properties
of caffeine. First, caffeine is going to make it more difficult for you to fall asleep when your
head hits the pillow. Added to this is the fact that caffeine will increase levels of anxiety.
So as you're lying there not being able to fall asleep, you suffer that sort of terrible experience
of a racing mind that won't shut off. I almost liken this to a sort of a rolodex of
anxiety that can flood your brain due to the effects of caffeine. The second and related issue
is that not only will caffeine make it harder for you to fall asleep, it will then also make it more
difficult for you to stay asleep soundly across the night.
This is because caffeine will make your sleep more unstable.
In other words, it will cause you to wake up more frequently at night.
And the consequence is something that we call sleep fragmentation,
meaning that your overall sleep efficiency or the quality of your sleep becomes significantly worse
when you have caffeine on board. As a quick aside some people will tell me look I am one of those
individuals and I can have an espresso with dinner and I fall asleep and I stay asleep so no harm, no foul. Well, yes and no. Even if you fall asleep easily and then you stay asleep
across the night, caffeine will still decrease the amount of deep sleep that your brain can generate.
And I'll go into that in far greater detail in the second episode, but I make that point because
most people are not consciously aware of the lack of
that deep sleep even though they don't remember having a hard time falling asleep or staying
asleep and in fact why don't I just pause for a second let's linger on this common statement that
I receive from people about their sensitivity what we know is that the effects of caffeine are highly variable from one individual
to the next. I said earlier that the quarter life of caffeine is somewhere between 10 to 12 hours,
but that's for the average adult. It's really quite different from one person to the next that
you will pass on the street. Using a variety of different assessment techniques and methods, what we've
recently discovered is that your sensitivity to caffeine is due in part to your genetics.
Different people will have a more or less efficient version of an enzyme that breaks down
caffeine. And if you're nerd curious like me, the class of liver compounds that we're talking about here are called cytochrome P450 enzymes.
I've always thought, by the way, that cytochrome P450s would be a great title for an album.
Don't you think that would be brilliant?
No, probably just me.
Anyway, getting back to the story.
Some people will have a version of that enzyme that allows them to metabolize the caffeine very quickly.
Whereas other people will have a version of that enzyme or set of enzymes, it turns out,
which is much slower in its speed of breakdown of that caffeine. And as a result,
that caffeine will linger in their system far longer than it would do in someone who can
metabolize it quite quickly. For those people who can't metabolize it and cleanse the system
of the caffeine as quickly, those are the people who are highly sensitive to the effects of caffeine. By the way, unfortunately, having run my own genetic screening test,
I am one of those slow caffeine metabolizers.
It makes me so sad because I adore the smell of freshly ground coffee.
I love that ritual.
I would say, however, that decaffeinated coffee, if you find the right one,
can be almost as extraordinary. But again, I'm telling my story. This is not about me. This is
about you and this podcast. If you would like to know, by the way, which caffeine-sensitive type
you are, there are several genetic testing kits out there, and I won't name names that you can easily buy online and they
will often assess those specific set of relative genes and once again if you're curious the two
most relevant genes for you to look out for regarding this caffeine sensitivity are called YYP1A2 and AHR.
Total alphabet spaghetti, wasn't it?
And with that spaghetti thrown against the informational wall of today's episode,
I will simply say thank you for listening.
And if you want to connect with me further you can find me on twitter using the
handle at sleep diplomat you can find me on the web at sleep diplomat.com but mostly and if you've
not lost the will to live listening to my dulcet british at this point, you can listen to many more episodes from this,
which is my podcast.
It's called the Matt Walker Podcast
on all of your standard podcast platforms.
So take care and goodbye from me.
Hey everyone, it's Adam Grant.
Welcome back to Rethinking, my podcast on the science of what makes us tick.
I'm an organizational psychologist, and I'm taking you inside the minds of fascinating people to explore how they think and what we should all rethink.
Today's guest is Atul Gawande,
a surgeon, Harvard professor, New Yorker writer,
and best-selling author of books like
Complications and Being Mortal.
I've long admired Atul's work on error,
checklists, and coaching.
And in a conference last year,
I got to see his confidence and compassion firsthand
when he helped rescue me from a severe allergic reaction.
Thanks, Atul.
In January 2022, he started a new job in the White House
as assistant administrator of USAID's Bureau for Global Health.
So it's a perfect time to talk with him about leadership,
learning from mistakes, and how he works with his coach.
You chose surgery.
That's an enormously consuming career.
Somehow you managed to find time
to write for The New Yorker.
How did your identity expand from
I'm just going to be a surgeon
and that could take up all my time
to I'm actually going to have a side gig
as a prominent writer?
The best advice I got,
which came late in life but seemed to register, was a colleague who said, just say yes until you're 40. And after 40, just say no. When you're young,
you don't know what actually energizes you and what you will prove to be good at. You don't have a sample size to know.
And I started with a base assumption that I grew up around medicine,
so I could be comfortable in it.
But even in medicine, you don't know what you're going to be when you grow up.
What kind of field do you want to go into?
Do you want to lead people?
Do you want to go deep in a technical area?
Do you want to be in a research lab?
Do you want to do startups?
Do you want to do public health? lab? Do you want to do startups? Do you
want to do public health? There's so many different directions to go. And I just said yes. I hit
college and found my mind was blown. I was from a rural town in Ohio and there was incredible
possibilities. I ended up going to a place like Stanford where everything was open to me. It was
too much choice. And so I just started saying yes to stuff. And
then I paid attention to the things that actually energized me. Just finding time flew when I did
certain things. I was very into Stephen Jay Gould, the writer on evolution. I was very into
health policy. And I was very into understanding clinical trials and how you create impact
in science. That blossomed into saying yes to spending time on presidential campaigns around
healthcare. And I worked for Gary Hart and Al Gore when he ran. Long story short, by the time I got out of college, I was ready to do
several things that took 10 years to fit together. I did a degree in politics and philosophy.
I worked on the Hill in Washington. I started my training in surgery. I would end up getting a degree in public health during my surgery training.
And when I put it all together, the thing that was totally unexpected was I had stuff to write about.
And I began writing for Slate Magazine, and that became the New Yorker Magazine.
I loved surgery and I found I could have technical skills in how to build public health interventions
and make it work.
And only later did I reach that point, my late 30s hitting 40, where I said no to everything
except how I could put together writing as a way of exploring what I was experiencing in day-to-day
medicine and the failures of the system and how we cope with the fact that we now are in a world
where we can live into our 80s on average if we can access the capabilities of a science that has given us drugs, medical and surgical procedures,
public health interventions. But only part of our population gets to have that advantage
in the United States or around the world. And our job has become to deploy that capability
town by town to everybody alive. And I get to explore it through writing. I get to live it
through my practical work as a surgeon. I did.
And then I built a public health institution around starting to solve problems in making
that work. And I found my life's purpose doing that. It's amazing. I'm so fascinated by this
advice you got to say yes until you're 40, which on the one hand, I think you make a very compelling
argument that it's a great way to discover what your passions are or develop those passions and
also hone your skills. It also sounds like a recipe for indentured servitude and possibly burnout.
You also have to pay attention to what is exhausting you, and you got to pair that out
because that's the cause of burnout, right? You are finding your
own balance. I found for me, my personality, I was doing surgery and that energized me. Even though
I was in the middle of surgery residency, even though at that time it was 110 hours a week,
I still was fired up about it. I hated staying up all night. I couldn't stand that. I saw the
light at the end of the tunnel that that might end.
But then I'd weirdly, I'd get home and a friend said,
would you write for Slate on healthcare stuff?
And I found I was making time at nine o'clock at night
to work for a couple of hours.
And I was doing it.
Like that was a signal to me.
I was not energized spending time in labs. So
I just stopped the stuff that I didn't have the energy to do. There was a lot of things that I
quit, a lot of things that I quit so that I wasn't burning out. And even today, the work can be
overwhelming at times, but I'm marshalling my energy around spending as much of it doing the things that I can
value and enjoy. There's always crap. There's always a grind in everything. And that part is
there. It's just there has to be some saving grace that keeps you going.
What's the worst advice you've ever gotten?
Well, it's the constant advice I got early on, which is you have to pick one thing, a tool. And I just resisted it because
some people will be brilliant and best diving deep into one thing, but there's lots of creativity
at the edges of combining fields, combining approaches. And so I combined surgery and public health.
And then I combined in writing and that work.
And that is where I'm successful.
It may not be the same way other people are.
Atul, one of my other favorite pieces of writing of yours
was the article you wrote on having a coach.
And I remember seeing this headline and thinking,
of course, it makes perfect sense.
Athletes have coaches, musicians have coaches.
Everyone else should too
if they wanna be at the top of their game.
You have a coach.
Yes.
So you're eating your own dog food
or drinking your own champagne,
depending on how that's going.
What's that been like?
What are you learning?
I think it's one thing to be coached
in a profession like surgery, right? Which is very task oriented. To be coached as a leader is much
broader, much more ambiguous in many ways. I'd love to hear what that's been like and what you've
learned about coaching through this experience. You know, that piece was paying like 125 bucks to have a tennis coach and that Roger Federer,
Rafael Nadal, Djokovic, the top players in the world all have coaches. But that is not our
paradigm in whole swaths of other professions. We have an educational paradigm. You will put in your 10,000 hours of education
and then you will be a self-learner. Part of the education is how to train and advance yourself.
And so which one was correct? Music was really interesting to me because in parts of music like
voice, I got to speak to Renee Fleming, the opera singer. All singers have coaches. They follow the
sports paradigm. But in things like violin, they don't have coaches. And I got to call up Itzhak
Perlman, the greatest violinist of his generation, and ask him, do you think you need a coach? And he
said, we don't have coaches in playing violin, but I always did.
His wife that he met when he was at Juilliard, after a period of time as a professional musician
herself, she stopped playing to become his coach, sit in the audience, observe his performances,
give him feedback and do it in effective enough ways that he could
improve, set new goals, and move onward. And that's what I learned is the pattern of coaching.
Effective coaching is different from teaching in that it involves an external view of your
own reality. And then ideally, it orients around the goals that you set for where you want to advance.
It can give you a framework for where you want to advance.
And so I tried it out.
And I'm so glad you asked me about this because I decided to bring a coach into my operating
room.
And it was a fellow surgeon who was one of my professors and one of the surgeons I most
wanted to be like named Bob Osteen.
And he died just a couple of weeks ago, a cancer surgeon
I just tremendously admire and was my coach in the operating room and would observe and we would set
goals. I'm going to work on how my teamwork in these next few months, I'm going to work on my
technical skills. I'm going to work on, you know, the things we worked on most in the, until I stopped doing
surgery in December, which was painful, teaching and how I could be a more effective teacher.
Translating that into this atmosphere, as I started building public health institutions,
I had a executive coach that I engaged, a guy named Alan Foster. He's terrific. And we've been together
now for a decade and working on, as I've started up multiple organizations, as I've advanced them
along the way and now in this role. And I actually think a lot of people have executive coaches and
it has become a familiar thing, but the key to it has been not just my giving him my independent
view of the world, but having him do a 360. And we actually just came through our 360 here
with our team where he reviewed and talked to all of my leaders. And we got inputs from more
than 30 people, including people reporting up to me, people above me, people that we have to work with as peers across the government,
and identified things that were going well
and the strengths I was building on and the opposite things.
In that variability, it was the flip side of my strengths.
So for example, I'm very energetic, as you might hear.
And I'm also good at making decisions and making them quickly. But I'm moving
so fast that I'm not communicating them. And I'm not recognizing how to move them down into the
organization and across to other people. I'm already moving on to my next thing. It's the
rubber band theory of leadership. You want the rubber band to pull ahead enough that people are coming with you,
not fall so far behind.
People are just swinging around behind you.
I will tend to go so far that I can break the rubber band.
Do you have strategies for making sure
that you take that feedback seriously
as opposed to brushing it off and saying,
well, that's just how I work.
You better get with the program.
The main strategy is identify actions to take,
which include informing people, here is what I've heard,
and trying to set that model that you make feedback
part of the culture of the place that you are advancing.
One line of feedback, one of many lines of feedback,
was that I tended to interrupt people as they were talking,
and that was really bad. And so we came up with that I would owe $10 to the candy jar that we kept out
for people walking through. And every time I interrupted people, and so people could call me
out, have permission, it's $10 in the candy jar. And my whole goal was to get rid of the candy jar.
Like I wanted an empty candy jar. I definitely never had an empty candy jar. And my whole goal was to get rid of the candy jar. Like I wanted an empty candy
jar. I definitely never had an empty candy jar. And so I wasn't quite accepting it. It was
recognizing that, you know, it was trying to diffuse it, trying to reduce it. I reduced it,
but not eliminated it. And there's a certain degree of, you want to share the strengths,
so you're not sacrificing the strengths along the way.
They're typically related, the strengths and the weaknesses.
I think of Deborah Tannen's work on what she calls high consideration versus high involvement
conversation styles. And for you to say, listen, when I interrupt, that doesn't mean I'm intending
to be rude or impolite. It means I'm really engaged and it's a sign that I'm excited to
jump in and build. But as a leader, I know that carries a lot of weight and it might silence people in the room.
It seems like even being able to have that conversation, right, is a helpful step,
whether or not you make it to the candy jar. Yes. You know, it's acceptable once in a while,
but it can't be an acceptable pattern. The culture of a organization is the worst behavior
you tolerate. We'd be in a wonderful
place if the worst thing that happened is that the boss sometimes interrupts you. We have bigger
problems to work on in every organization I've been part of because it's not just about me.
It's also getting the organizational feedback. This I got out in surgery, right? You cannot have
a functional surgical world where you are not recognizing
there are behaviors that can cost people's lives and then address them. And we have an institution
every Wednesday morning reviewing our deaths and major complications for the patterns that
underlay them. And when you're doing that on a regular basis, it's recognizing failure occurs
regularly. And then you're activating that we're going to look out for them and then
address what are the worst things that happened and then our plan for not tolerating them.
And I think that's absolutely crucial in public health work because of exactly the reasons you
mentioned. The scale at which we do this work, we will have failures, we have risks we absolutely have to take, and we have to drum out the worst behaviors that set us behind and identify where we can attack them.
Music to my ears. Well, thank you, Atul. This has been just packed with insight, and I'm so grateful for the work that you're doing for not only the US, but for public health at scale around the world.
Well, I'm always delighted to talk to you, Adam.
Over the many years we've known each other, fantastic to get to do it in the medium of your podcast, which I'm an avid listener to.
Well, thank you.
I'm glad we didn't end up in the ER this time.
Cheers.
Cheers.
We'll leave that story to be told later.
Seriously.
Thank you, Atul.
Just a quick thanks to one of our sponsors, and we'll be right back to the show.
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My guest today, I'm very excited about Diana Chapman, C-H-A-P-M-A-N. Diana is a co-founder
of the Conscious Leadership Group and a co-author of the book, The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, which I am rereading right now.
It just so happens.
Her passion is to help organizational leaders and their teams eliminate drama in the workplace
and beyond.
I learned about this thing called the drama triangle, which many people out there may
have heard about.
But I realized my whole life is running around on this drama triangle, which many people out there may have heard about. But I realized my whole life
is running around on this drama triangle. And the drama triangle was created by Stephen Cartman
back in the 70s. And he defined ways in which human beings get caught in victimhood that create
reactivity. And I realized I'm on the triangle most of the time. And there is a big cost to me and my people when
I'm on a drama triangle. And so that was the wake-up call for me. And then I just spent every
day since looking for all the tools I can for how to keep myself out of that triangle as much as
possible. Since you mentioned it, let's just jump right into the drama triangle. Could you
give us an overview of what it is and
how you might use it? Okay. So Cartman says,
many of us got trained to live in a state of victimhood. And there are three unique flavors
of victimhood in the drama triangle. We call them bases. So the first base is the pure victim. And
the pure victim, you know, it's so
hard here. I'm trying, I don't know. It's just any kind of, oh, help. You know, it's got this
very disempowered feeling and it's somehow like they've got the power. Somebody else has it,
not me. And I'm very at the effect of things. So I could be at the effect of my bank account,
at the effect of this email that just came in, at the effect of the traffic, at the effect of things. So I could be at the effect of my bank account, at the effect of
this email that just came in, at the effect of the traffic, at the effect of the new
policy on going back to work, at the effect of COVID. All those things are forms of being a
victim. Then the next role in the drama triangle is the villain and the villain's job is to blame.
So I can blame me. God, I should have known that, or I should have been more prepared,
or any should have over here on me, or I'm not smart enough, or I can't count on myself.
That's all villaining toward myself. Or we can villain toward another. You, you're the reason
why I'm not having as much fun as I could be having. Or we could be a villain to a group of
people, which is very popular in our culture. So we all know who's screwing it up for the rest of us.
It's that group over there, and everybody's pointing to particular groups who are the
bad guys.
So villain's very popular because it gets our adrenaline really kicking in.
I think it's actually in the terms of service on Twitter that you have to play that role
when you use the service.
Anyway, just a side note.
Right, right. Who's screwing it up? Who's wrong? Yeah, you don't know. You're wrong. I'm right.
And so the last role in the drama triangle is the hero. It's also called the reliever or the
rescuer. And the hero's job is to seek temporary relief. So, oh my God, I had such a hard day today at work. Let me come home. I'm
going to drink my alcohol or do my gaming or get lost in Netflix or whatever I'm going to do to
give myself some temporary relief. And it works, but I got to do it again tomorrow because tomorrow
I'm going to come home, potentially burn out again. And then I'm going to have to do the same
pattern. So heroine is temporary relief over and over again. So I can hero myself. I could hero another, you know, oh, you look like you're
struggling at work and let me take over some of your work that you're doing. I could do that from
a place of real presence, but when I'm in hero doing it, I'm actually creating some codependence
where I keep needing you to not be able to handle your work so I can keep helping.
And then I'll resent you over time. And then we can hero them. There's lots of philanthropies,
especially in the past, they're getting better at this now, where we just throw a bunch of money at a population. And then next year they have all the same issues and they need more money and
nothing ever really changes. So the key thing is temporary relief. So we all know the story about
you can give the man a fish every night, or you could teach him to fish for himself. So the hero gives the man the fish night
after night after night. And if you're off the drama triangle, you shift to a place where you
see people as empowered and the hero asks good questions to help people get more effective around
them. So my next question, I want to share an observation
from my rereading of the book. And then the next question, just to plant the seed,
is I'm going to ask you why it's called the drama triangle, what drama actually means here.
But in my reread, which I'm in the middle of right now, of the 15 Commitments of Conscious
Leadership, which was recommended to me by Dustin. And I
think it was also recommended in my last book, In Tribe of Mentors, by Dustin. And
there's a section that I needed to reread, which was related to the drama triangle. And it pointed
out that the villain could take the form of someone in a meeting who, to try to resolve conflict,
or maybe not resolve, to try to minimize conflict, always takes the blame. Eventually,
at the end of the meeting, they just say, you know what? It's my fault. I should have done this,
this, this, and this. It's easy, at least for me, to conflate radical responsibility with overly blaming myself for
everything. And I don't actually have a great way to approach navigating discerning those two for me,
if that makes any sense. So we could try to unpack that, or we could jump to why it's called the
drama triangle, but I'll let you choose the direction. Well, let me do both. So we could try to unpack that, or we could jump to why it's called the drama triangle,
but I'll let you choose the direction. Well, let me do both. So the reason why it's called
the drama triangle is because the whole triangle is set up for a nah, nah, nah. It's I'm right,
you're wrong, you're to blame, or I'm to blame. It's not asking everybody to really take 100%
responsibility for how they're co-creating experiences. So if I'm in the drama
triangle, the villain, if I'm taking on, I'm more responsible, what happens is I'll say, oh,
I'm here at the meeting, you guys, and look, it's my fault. I'll take some of your responsibility
and take it all on me. And so there is a place to say, hey, I have a part in how I've co-created this. Let me tell you my part.
That would be me taking my 100%.
I would also know that everybody else has a part to play too.
So I'm not taking on their responsibility as well.
That's the difference between a villain and somebody who's just simply acknowledging,
I have a role to play here.
Got it.
Thank you. So we were chatting before we started recording. And you and I have spoken
quite a few times before we've met before spent time together. And you asked me why I invited you
on to the podcast. And there are a number of answers I gave. One of them was related to kinesthetic awareness or what our mutual friend
and your business partner, Jim Detmer, have called, at least in his notes to me for this
conversation. This may be your turn for all I know, BQ. So like IQ, EQ, but body intelligence. And I feel like you're very well calibrated for this. And when we spoke
maybe a year and a half ago, two years ago, I was working on this no book, you might recall.
And then as I kept working on it and kept working on it, I kept coming up with great reasons to say
no to the entire book, which was very meta. and I ended up stopping. But we spoke a lot about
the whole body yes. And I would love to maybe use that as a wedge to start the conversation,
because I found this so incredibly helpful when I am certainly prone to over-intellectualizing everything into some extremely complicated matrix
or spreadsheet or God knows what. So could you lead us into that in whatever way makes sense?
Sure. The idea is that we have these different centers of intelligence. So we have our head,
our heart, our gut, and IQ, EQ, BQ are some of the ways we might be describing those things these days.
So body intelligence is a recognition that I have an instinctual awareness that is known by
my sensations, known by how the body feels, and that there's a lot actually there that if we start to drop
into the body and pay attention, it's got a lot of guidance for us as does our emotions,
as does our intellect. And so I do have a ton of access to my body intelligence. I think it's what
I lead with in my own getting clarity about which directions to go in my life.
And I've put a lot of attention on it.
So it's very palpable to me.
My body screams often, you know, no, don't do that.
Even though my intellect might have an understanding of why.
Let's, if you wouldn't mind, walk people through how they might understand and use the whole body.
Yes. they might understand and use the whole body yes. Because for me, when something is screaming,
I'm decent at paying attention, but it's not always a scream. Sometimes, oftentimes it is
a little more nuanced. So could you walk people through the whole body yes and what the flight
checklist looks like? Well, I could have people, if we wanted to, go through an experience of starting to feel
what their whole body yes and no's feels like.
Great.
Yeah, let's do that.
Let's do that.
Should we do that?
It's very experiential, so it'll take about 10 minutes, and I'll have people, if they're
listening, I'd recommend they close their eyes.
Wonderful.
Does that work?
We have all the time in the world.
This isn't morning television
Okay. So the idea is that your body knows when there's a no when there's a yes and when there's a what i'm going to call
a subtle no
And we say anything other than a whole body. Yes is a no and to your point
It's easy to hear those screaming no's but not so easy to hear the subtle no for example
Someone contacted our organization the other day and he
wanted to talk. And it wasn't clear to me whether he was trying to sell us something or whether he
genuinely had clients that he wanted to connect us with. And even in my, I had suspicions that it
wasn't as clean as he was suggesting. And I asked for clarification and his clarification still,
I couldn't really tell, but my body did know. I felt this flat feeling in my body when I thought
about having the call. And unfortunately my head said, well, maybe you're not sure. So let's have
the call. And indeed it was a sales. And it was not a good use of my
time. And I quickly hung up. That was a time in which I skipped over my no, because it was very
subtle. And my intellect started to get worried, like, what if I'm missing something? And you know,
what if you don't know? So I use this all the time. And I'm still learning, as I did just last
week, to pay attention to the
intelligences that are outside of just my intellect. And so for you all, if you want to learn more
about this, what I'd like you to do is close your eyes, and I'd like you to bring to mind an
experience from the past that was deeply valuable to you. It was something that was nurturing. It was something you would gratefully repeat that
scene again. It could be a time when you were celebrated. It could be a time when you were in
a highly creative state that made something valuable. It could be a time when you were in
nature feeling deeply centered. And so I'd like you to go back into that scene as best you can
and see the images of that scene and hear the sounds.
And as you're in that scene,
I want you to start to pay attention to the body
and see if you can notice just simply how the body is vibrating right now.
When you imagine yourself in that scene, seeing those images, hearing the sounds, how does your body vibrate?
Is there a particular direction in which energy is flowing through the body?
Now, some of you might go, Diane, I'm not feeling anything here.
That's fine.
Just imagine if you were feeling something.
Would it be okay that it might feel like pretend?
Just for now.
Is there a certain temperature that you notice in the body?
For some people, they might feel very specific sensations.
It might feel like shapes inside the body.
And some people might be auditory and hear tones or see visuals in their mind's eye.
What you're doing here is getting a map of what does a whole body yes feel like.
I'm just strolling around inside of the body, feeling what you're feeling.
No right or wrong answers here. And everybody's so unique. We all have our own different ways we feel it. For me, my body gets warm.
There's an uprising of energy.
It flows up for me.
There's a push in the flow for me.
But yours will be what it is.
And so then I'd like you to take one last memory shot of this so you can remember what this feels like.
And then I'd like you to shake it off and let it go.
And then I want you to think of a scene in the past that you don't want to repeat.
And I don't recommend finding something traumatizing. Find something that you really didn't feel like was a good use of your time, didn't serve you, you don't want to repeat it ever again, or you prefer not to.
If you can bring that image to mind, and again, see the visuals of that memory and hear the sounds.
And I want you to notice what happens now in the body.
Is there a different way the body's vibrating?
How is the direction of energy flowing or not flowing in this version?
Is there a difference in temperature?
Any other significant sensations or shapes you feel in or on the body?
And again, tones in the ears or visuals in your mind's eye may also be included.
And you're getting a map for what no, this is a big no, uh-uh, I don't want this.
I don't think this is going to serve me.
Just mapping the territory in the body for what does this feel like.
And take one last picture of that and shake that one off and then we've got one more to do and this is the subtle no this is similar to what I was just describing earlier of taking a meeting you
know it didn't kill me to take the meeting it didn't hurt lasted 10 minutes and I got off the phone, but I don't, it wasn't a yes. It wasn't
an alive experience for me. So this is called a subtle no. So I want you to think back,
everybody's got in the last two to four weeks, something that's happened in which it was a eh,
wasn't bad, wasn't good. So if you can come back and see that scene in your mind's eye and hear those sounds.
And you're going to check and see what does subtle no feel like for you?
How do you experience that scene?
What do you notice in the body?
How does it vibrate here?
How does energy flow or not flow? Is there a difference in temperature? What parts of the body light up? Sensations? And tones or visuals as well. Trying on here, and again, if you don't notice much, that's okay.
Just imagine if you did notice, what would you notice?
And this is your map for what a subtle no feels like.
And you want to remember this feeling so that the next time somebody says hey you want to go out to
lunch or could you meet me to talk about abc that you if you feel this likely it's an invitation
for you to try no so you can shake that one off and then we'll bring our attention back
to the ongoing conversation.
Hey, everybody.
My name is Rich Roll.
I'm a writer, an ultra endurance athlete, and host of the Rich Roll podcast, which delivers long form conversations with the intent of extracting timeless wisdom from a variety of exceptional humans
specializing across a wide spectrum of disciplines
with the specific goal that you as the audience member
glean actionable wisdom, powerful insights,
and practical guidance you can then apply
to improve your physical, mental, emotional,
and spiritual lives.
The Rich Roll podcast is available
on every major podcast player
and as a high production quality video on YouTube.
You can follow me at Rich Roll on Twitter and Instagram
and on YouTube at youtube.com slash Rich Roll.
And you can find links to all of these platforms,
resources and more at richroll.com.
So many thanks to Tim himself,
an absolutely stellar example
of someone doing the kind of vitally important work
that I respect and admire for this opportunity
to share with all of you a small example of my podcast.
The excerpt that follows centers on mindset
and is excerpted from my first interview
with former Navy SEAL turned endurance athlete
and author David Goggins,
which was recorded back in 2017 and is, I believe,
David's very first podcast interview ever.
For those not familiar,
David just might be the toughest athlete on planet Earth.
He has completed many
of the world's most grueling endurance challenges,
including running 203.5 miles in 48 hours,
as well as securing top finishes at dozens of the world's
most grueling foot races of 100 miles or more, demonstrating time and again an absolutely
superhuman capacity for resolve and a preternatural ability to inspire others along the way.
But perhaps David's greatest accomplishment
is that throughout his life,
he has faced and overcome a series
of seemingly insurmountable obstacles
to become the man he is today.
Obstacles like asthma, sickle cell anemia,
psychological and physical abuse,
obesity, academic struggles,
and even a congenital heart defect
that often left him competing and winning
on a mere fraction of his actual physical capabilities.
As a result, David's insights on mindset
and mental toughness are all the more profound
and actionable.
As a quick note, in this clip,
you'll hear us discuss a race called Badwater, which is often described as the world's toughest foot race.
It's a 135-mile nonstop jaunt across Death Valley and culminating up Mount Whitney, during which David ascended 14,000 feet of total elevation gain and endured temperatures often exceeding 120 degrees Fahrenheit.
So, without further ado, this is me and David Goggins.
So many people tell me, I would love to run Badwater one day. Why the fuck haven't you done
it? You told me that five years ago. I had an idea to run Badwater.
I did it in four months.
I qualified in four days
and ran the damn race.
I wanted to be a Navy SEAL,
had to lose 105 pounds in 60 days
to get in and do it.
I lost the weight
and became a damn SEAL.
I wanted to be a ranger
at 41 years old.
People go,
what do you want to do next?
I don't know.
I've already done it. Because the second I thought about it, I researched it. I
didn't ask questions. I achieved it. We waste tons of time not starting our journey for asking so
many fucking questions on how to start the journey. Get an idea, start walking and figure
the shit out as you go. Vision quest. But David, you don't understand my life.
Exactly.
I got, you know, I had to get up at five
and I worked till nine and I got three kids
and I'm barely making ends meet.
It's cool that you can do that,
but like, it's just not possible.
What I love about that is people can come at me
with all that crap all day long.
When I say that right there to you,
I was a full-time Navy SEAL.
There's 24 hours in the day.
I was doing ultra races.
And how I did it was I had to be at work
at 7 o'clock in the morning.
I woke up at 3 o'clock in the morning.
I ran, and then I rode my bike to work.
And I did the same thing, and I came home.
If you want it, you will find time in your life to do it.
If you don't want it, you will continue to do exactly what you're doing now,
give me excuses.
You're going to make up every excuse on why you can't do it,
and that's why I can't connect it to you.
That's why you hear the passion come out of me,
and you want to say it's anger?
No, because I know it can be done.
And you're telling me all this shit on why it can't be done.
And then what you do is, he's crazy.
He's an mechanic.
No, you don't want it bad enough.
If you want it bad enough, you will figure out how to make this shit happen.
Are you willing to entertain the possibility that you do have some talent in doing this?
Or is it all, like you're chalking it all up to preparation and mindset?
Well, like I said, if anybody's familiar with sickle cell, it's a blood disease that pretty much is called sudden death syndrome.
A lot of African-Americans who have it, they just pass out and die.
My VO2 max is horrible.
My hematocrit and all this stuff is horrible.
And also having a hole in your heart that the size I had, it took away a lot of my athletic ability. That's the other thing. You have like you're operating with 25% of your capability.
And that's what I'm trying to tell people.
Right.
I was trying to tell people.
Everybody thinks that they want to believe, and I wish I was.
After every race, I was either in a wheelchair or whatever
because running with sickle cell is just not the smartest thing to do,
those distances.
At mile 50 of every 100 mile race, man, I was destroyed.
And I just had to find, but the feeling of the next 50 miles I had to go, I learned a
lot about David Goggins and the wheel.
It was always me against me.
So no, I don't have any ability.
See, this is the heart of the whole thing though
because i think it's really important because if you are a genetic freak of nature then it's very
easy for somebody to shrug you off like oh yeah well he does it but like he's dave goggins right
i mean like normal people can't do that and for you to always anchor it and bring it back to
look man these are the challenges that i'm facing. I'm facing, I have to overcome more of these challenges
than the average guy.
Like I'm actually starting at a deficit with this.
And I'm not going to ever let anybody
make themselves feel better
by telling me that I was some genetic freak.
I'm not going to make yourself feel better about that.
You, I suffered.
And I always say suffered because that's what I did.
It was miserable.
The races, every single race in Hell Week, in Bud's, in Ranger School, I suffered tremendously.
I should never have been able to do it, which is why I'm so proud of myself.
I don't care what place I came in.
I don't care I walked 105 miles of bad water.
I did it. That was the journey.
That was the mission. That was, it's about, it's not about, oh, well, this guy's just a freak.
If that makes you feel bad, it's fine. No, you can do it off just a breath of air in the right
mindset. That's the message. So you watered down my message by putting me in a category of i'm crazy i'm a freak
whatever all of those arguments are comfortable arguments to allow people to stay stuck in
whatever situation exactly you know what i mean right so it's more uncomfortable if they have to
actually reckon and wrestle with the fact that you are like them just like them and and no one
people don't want to do that just like look them. They don't want to look in the mirror, right?
Right.
So tell me about the mirror thing is a big thing with you, right?
It's a huge thing for me.
It's called the accountability mirror.
So I talked about my childhood, and if anybody thinks I'm some great person, listen to my
childhood again.
I had to change my thinking process, and basically the accountability mirror is what did it.
I started shaving my head and my face when I was 16 years old.
And I realized when I started shaving my face and my head,
you have a lot of time to look at your reflection.
And for some, it sparked in me.
I'm like, man, I'm a piece of crap.
I ducked school.
I ducked school.
I barely am graduating.
I'm this, I'm this, I'm this.
I'm all these things, man.
And I had to really tell myself the truth.
And so many people, when you say you're dumb, the first thing people say, oh, no, you're not.
If you're dumb, you're dumb.
If you're fat, you're fat.
But if you're not willing to tell yourself that, and everybody around you in your circle continues to give you this positive feedback, if you suck not willing to tell yourself that and everybody around you in your circle, it continues to give you this positive feedback.
If you suck, you suck.
If you tell yourself you suck, that is when you become great.
Well, then you're getting into the solution.
That is what I'm talking about.
So that accountability, Mary, was I got to get to the surface of who I'm not.
And I held myself accountable.
I lied to this person today. I'm a liar. I'm a cheater. I'm this who I'm not. And I held myself accountable. I lied to this person today.
I'm a liar.
I'm a cheater.
I'm this, I'm that.
And I tell myself, and I fixed these issues and fixed these issues.
And that part was hard.
It was hard to not be jealous of this person who had this and this and this.
I had nothing, nothing.
It was hard to tell this person, yeah, I'm jealous of you.
And I'm insecure.
I'm a very insecure guy.
And I have nothing.
It was hard to look at all that.
I'm not real smart.
But I had to fix these issues.
And the accountability mirror was now looking at myself in the mirror and say,
wow, you fixed these issues.
Right.
So that's a thing that you consciously practice every day.
Every day of my life.
In the mirror. Every day in my life in the mirror every day of my life even now so if i were to say some little white lie and i go to the mirror
in the morning time i shave my hands like man why the hell did you say that to that guy
and he would get a call from me and say look dude i i that's like that's like 12 step man it's like
doing your daily inventory and like making amends for your bullshit that's it you know what i mean
because you're only lying to yourself so when you see this you know we're in this cultural malaise
right now where like every kid gets a participation trophy and like we have to tell everyone that
they're great right you know what i mean it's all about like feelings and everybody's a special
snowflake and all of that like you know that must make you insane It makes me more than insane. It's the destruction of this country.
And I love this country.
I fought hard for it.
I will continue to fight for it.
And hopefully through mental toughness, it takes mental toughness to change how you look at things.
And giving a person a trophy saying you're great when you're really not.
If I had that growing up, there would be no David Goggins.
Zero.
There'd be no tough people.
None, which is why the world is where it is today.
Some weak people.
Right.
There's a lot of weak people now.
Right.
So let's wrap it up with this.
If you can distill everything that you're about
into like kind of one core message
that you want people to take away,
like what is it beyond what we've already talked about?
What is it that's holding people back,
that's limiting them,
that's keeping them stuck and in their blind spot?
And how can you speak to that
to perhaps shake it loose a little bit
and get people to think a little bit differently
about how to proactively approach their lives? The truth, their truth, the real truth about who they are as a
person. I think it all really starts there, the truth. And knowing that you may not be a courageous
person, you may not have this and that, but are you willing to find it within yourself to go
through the very hard journey? A lot of people in this world have died 80, 90, 100 years old,
and they lived a great life.
They had a lot of things.
But a lot of people who have died never really started the true journey
that whatever you believe in, God, or whatever you believe in,
if you believe in nothing, I believe we're all here to start a journey.
And that journey is fucking hard. If you choose your real journey, most of us, we decide to take a different journey in life.
It's a journey of least resistance.
And so what I challenge people to do is to realize that in themselves, that, yeah, I
have taken a lot of left turns and I should have stayed straight because why?
I wasn't good at something. And it embarrassed me to not be good at something or I wasn't the smartest person or this or that, whatever all these excuses are that we built up.
Find the truth of who you are. Go back to the start of your journey and go down that path.
I guarantee you, if you finish that journey and you don't fear and waver and go down that path. I guarantee you, if you finish that journey
and you don't fear and waver
and go places that are very easy,
the other end of that journey,
let me tell you, is a peaceful end.
Hey guys, this is Tim again.
Just one more thing before you take off.
And that is Five Bullet Friday.
Would you enjoy getting a short email from
me every Friday that provides a little fun before the weekend? Between one and a half and two million
people subscribe to my free newsletter, my super short newsletter called Five Bullet Friday. Easy
to sign up, easy to cancel. It is basically a half page that I send out every Friday to share the
coolest things I've found or discovered or have started
exploring over that week. It's kind of like my diary of cool things. It often includes articles
I'm reading, books I'm reading, albums perhaps, gadgets, gizmos, all sorts of tech tricks and so
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you head off for the weekend, something to think about. If you'd like to try it out, just go to
Tim.blog slash Friday, type that into your browser, Tim.blog slash Friday, drop in your email and
you'll get the very next one. Thanks for listening.
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