The Tim Ferriss Show - #709: In Case You Missed It: November 2023 Recap of "The Tim Ferriss Show"

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

This episode is brought to you by 5-Bullet Friday, my very own email newsletter.Welcome to another episode of The Tim Ferriss Show, where it is my job to deconstruct world-clas...s performers to tease out the routines, habits, et cetera that you can apply to your own life. This is a special inbetweenisode, which serves as a recap of the episodes from last month. It features a short clip from each conversation in one place so you can easily jump around to get a feel for the episode and guest.Based on your feedback, this format has been tweaked and improved since the first recap episode. For instance, @hypersundays on Twitter suggested that the bios for each guest can slow the momentum, so we moved all the bios to the end. See it as a teaser. Something to whet your appetite. If you like what you hear, you can of course find the full episodes at tim.blog/podcast. Please enjoy! *This episode is brought to you by 5-Bullet Friday, my very own email newsletter that every Friday features five bullet points highlighting cool things I’ve found that week, including apps, books, documentaries, gadgets, albums, articles, TV shows, new hacks or tricks, and—of course—all sorts of weird stuff I’ve dug up from around the world.It’s free, it’s always going to be free, and you can subscribe now at tim.blog/friday.*Timestamps:Q&A with Tim: 02:59Steve Jang: 08:41Dr. Willoughby Britton: 18:14Sheila Heen: 28:13Full episode titles:Q&A with Tim — New Religions, AI Companions, Longevity Levers, Resurrecting “Forgotten” Languages, Stress-Testing Cherished Beliefs, Tactics for Writer’s Block, Low-Back Pain, and Much More (#704)Live from South Korea — Steve Jang on Korea’s Exploding “Soft Power,” The Poverty-to-Power Playbook, K-Pop, “Han” Energy, Must-See Movies, Export Economies, and Much More (#707)Dr. Willoughby Britton — The Hidden Risks of Meditation, Overlaps with Psychedelic Risks, Harm Reduction Strategies, How to Choose a Retreat, Near-Death Experiences, and More (#705)Sheila Heen — How to Master the Difficult Art of Receiving (and Giving) Feedback (#703)*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is brought to you by Five Bullet Friday, my very own email newsletter. It's become one of the most popular email newsletters in the world with millions of subscribers, and it's super, super simple. It does not clog up your inbox. Every Friday, I send out five bullet points, super short, of the coolest things I've found that week, which sometimes includes apps, books, documentaries, supplements, gadgets, new self-experiments, hacks, tricks, and all sorts of weird stuff that I dig up from around the world. You guys, podcast listeners and book readers,
Starting point is 00:00:30 have asked me for something short and action-packed for a very long time. Because after all, the podcast, the books, they can be quite long. And that's why I created Five Bullet Friday. It's become one of my favorite things I do every week. It's free. It's always going to be free. And you can learn more at Tim.blog forward slash Friday. That's Tim.blog forward slash Friday. I get asked a lot how I meet guests for the podcast. Some of the most amazing people I've ever interacted with. And little known fact, I've met probably 25% of them because they first subscribed to Five Bullet Friday.
Starting point is 00:01:03 So you'll be in good company. It's a lot of fun. Five Bullet Friday is only available if you subscribe via email. I do not publish the content on the blog or anywhere else. Also, if I'm doing small in-person meetups, offering early access to startups, beta testing, special deals, or anything else that's very limited, I share it first with Five Bullet Friday subscribers. So check it out, tim.blog forward slash Friday. If you listen to this podcast, it's very likely that you'd dig it a lot and you can, of course, easily subscribe any time.
Starting point is 00:01:35 So easy peasy. Again, that's tim.blog forward slash Friday. And thanks for checking it out. If the spirit moves you. Optimal minimum. At this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Can I ask you a question? and thanks for checking it out. If the spirit moves you. Tim Ferriss Show. which serves as a recap of the episodes from the last month. It features a short clip from each conversation in one place, so you can jump around, get a feel for both the episode and the guest, and then you can always dig deeper by going to one of those episodes. View this episode as a
Starting point is 00:02:35 buffet to whet your appetite. It's a lot of fun. We had fun putting it together. And for the full list of the guests featured today, see the episode's description probably right below wherever you press play in your podcast app. Or as usual, you can head to Tim.blog slash podcast and find all the details there. Please enjoy. First up, a YouTube Q&A with Tim, featuring Tim's thoughts on new religions, AI companions, longevity levers, resurrecting forgotten languages, tactics for writer's block, and much more. Are there any global or national trends in the next five to ten years that aren't talked about enough or you believe more people should be paying attention to, if applicable? How are you personally preparing for this or
Starting point is 00:03:30 these shifts? I would say one that comes to mind is, for lack of a better term, digital emotional surrogacy. I'm sure there is a sexier or more elegant term for this, but the inevitable development that we will have, I would say within the next probably two years, photorealistic avatars that we can interact with through, say, virtual reality. And if you haven't seen the demo of the meta metaverse with Zuckerberg, with Lex Friedman on his recent podcast on YouTube that showcases what this can look like. I would encourage everybody to at least watch the first five minutes to get a taste of things to come with the ability to interact with photorealistic avatars. Furthermore, with the ability to interact with photorealistic avatars who might be your favorite celebrity, like a Taylor Swift, with very convincing facial expressions,
Starting point is 00:04:31 we are getting to a point where companies like Replica, for instance, Replica with a K at the end, K-A instead of C-A, where digital companions are going to become, for many people, not just a supplement to human interaction, but a replacement for human interaction. So I would say that the loneliness epidemic, from my perspective, is probably only going to get more nuanced, more complex, and more challenging to address in some respects. Because, especially for people like myself who are introverts, I'm taking active steps. So I'll answer that second part of your question to maybe preemptively gird myself for this. But for those people who are already intimidated or taxed by going out and interacting with one person or groups of people, you could see the case of four,
Starting point is 00:05:26 many of them opting out completely. And I think we already have problems with declining birth rates, and there are many countries that are below replacement rates at this point. So I am very curious to see what societal impact that will have. The way I am counteracting that for myself is booking things on the calendar in advance. And by in advance, I mean, at this point, I'm probably six months out, booking trips, booking time with friends, booking time with family, getting it on the calendar, putting money behind it. It doesn't have to be a lot of money, but enough money that you can benefit from the sunk cost fallacy and feel invested so you won't cancel things. And really giving myself very few options for opting out of social interactions that I've proven to myself over time are always in my best interest. Even if I will drag my feet to get there
Starting point is 00:06:27 in the first place, I will leave being better off. So those are a few thoughts in terms of trends. People are paying a lot of attention to, say, AI in broad strokes or machine learning in broad strokes. But my interest and certainly what I'm also watching in my audience are some of the societal implications and the sort of mass psychological implications of these things. So you will be able to take steps to perhaps put a moat around yourself to minimize the damage, but this is something to pay attention to. And I would also say that as these tools become more and more convincing, we've blown away the Turing test. It's already been beaten or passed. So as these tools and machines become more and more convincing, more and more appealing, I think that there will
Starting point is 00:07:21 be the very natural impulse to offload more and more of the things that we currently handle in our own heads or manually. And if you want to preserve some of those abilities, you're going to have to decide to be perhaps a selective Luddite, or at least for periods of time, be a selective Luddite. For instance, how many people here would say their parents are better at directions offline, not using Google Maps, than the younger generations? And I would imagine a lot of people would raise their hand. And this is perhaps not controversial because people have decided to embrace something like Google Maps or many other competitors to help them with convenience and accuracy and so on. However, if you don't use it, you lose it. And it's easy to embrace convenience and not recognize severe atrophy of capabilities until it's very hard to reverse. So I think that that is a meta-awareness
Starting point is 00:08:28 that needs to be developed as we are interacting with these increasingly seductive and powerful tools. So long answer, but these are things that I think about. Next up, the South Korea episode, recorded in Seoul and featuring Steve Jang, Tim's longtime friend and founder of early-stage venture capital fund, Kindred Ventures. Just because I've teased it so much, what is Han? Just like Natsukashi is quite Japanese. Super Japanese. For Koreans, Han is probably the most talked about recent collective trait of Koreans that Koreans talk about, but then now people outside are talking about. And what it essentially boils down to is this idea of this collective suffering that the Korean people have through
Starting point is 00:09:28 history and manifests in this sort of, it's very complicated feeling of we are suffering and we share that pain with each other. It's not always a negative. It can sometimes drive us to express ourselves in strong ways. It can drive us to suffer together collectively. So collectivism is a very Asian thing. And independence is something that we revere in the US. That collectivism in Korea is Han. It's Han. And is it generally, you mentioned suffering.
Starting point is 00:10:10 There are a lot of different descriptions of this. I was doing a little bit of reading. It's really hard to explain in English, actually. It seems very hard. Is it a type of, so sadness would be a component of that? Yeah, and also anger and angst. I was talking to David Chang from Momofuku, he's an old friend, and he asked me about Travis Kalanick. He had never met him. And he said,
Starting point is 00:10:32 you knew him. He seems like he has a lot of Han. And I said, yeah, he's intense and it expresses in a drive to succeed, right? And obviously we all know that story. But for Koreans, Han can be a drive to do great things, to bond together, to understand each other, to empathize. But it can also just be, like you said, the anger and the K-rage that you're talking about, which channeled correctly allows you to build an entire industry and succeed on a global level to create what is it chips on the shoulder make chips in the pocket pop culture phenomenons that win grammys and that movies that win oscars and light up the world to what's happening in this little country that used to be a poor developing country that was broken after colonization and a war. Where does that come
Starting point is 00:11:25 from? And so I think a lot of Koreans romantically will describe it as like, we have this Han that drives us, but it's not perfect. It's not always positive. It can just result in chaos and destruction too. But it's this thing that feels very real. And I think that's what you're seeing in like Korean movies. That's what you're seeing in industries, the positive energy that can come out of it, not just the negative energy. So it's very complicated. But Jung, and these are like very simple Chinese characters and Korean characters.
Starting point is 00:11:55 I wonder what the, I don't know the hanja for any of these. So Jung is this connection or affection, this bond that you feel. And so a lot of people will say that they don't have zheng with someone or that a person does not have zheng. This is a much more bonding, affectionate thing. And it's a very simple word, but it means a lot.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Zheng is also a complicated thing too. It's hard to describe without using a lot of words and adjectives and feelings and emotions in English. But when you say that in Korean, it's very simple. It means a thing that isn't translatable. And then if I were to take two words that would describe Korean people,
Starting point is 00:12:38 and again, I'm not Korean. I'm Korean American. I'm Gyo-po. So I'm somewhat inside, but somewhat outside. And so I can compare it to how we are in America or other countries. And Han and Jung would
Starting point is 00:12:53 pretty much cover. What is Nunchi? So Nunchi, I mean, you know Bobby Kim. Bobby Hunter. You had him on the show. I did. A friend of mine as well. Great conversation. He really got it right, which is, it's reading the room, but nunchi is like, nun is your eyes. And it's the ability to see what's really going on, reading between the lines or reading the room. And this is really important.
Starting point is 00:13:21 This is not a happy, positive thing. This is, again, a defensive, inquisitive, analytical skill. Discerning eye. It's very critical. Yeah, critical. Yeah. There are things that come up when you talk about people and you talk about your connection with them. And so, if I come in and kind of bluntly or obtusely and rude in a group i walk into a dinner or a room i change the topic uh really obtrusively right like he just like didn't read the room just kind of came in yeah yeah there there isn't and then um, you know, with Han, that's something that I actually have not heard a lot of Koreans talk about it. I feel like a lot of Korean Americans in Gyopo talk about it.
Starting point is 00:14:16 So it's an interesting thing. I think it's a more recent modern definition and term. I don't think it's like an old classic phrase or term so my sense is anecdotally that it's something that's been a little bit created like guys now yeah and then also with jung that's something that my parents talk about a lot yeah joe and my parents don't talk about han it's like maybe the people that really feel it don't want to talk about it yeah totally and the people that want to find some reason or some rhyme to why they feel a certain way or something is happening to them, they'll create a concept.
Starting point is 00:14:52 But I think it is very interesting to look at those two concepts, Han and Jung, and then that'll help you understand a lot in Korean society. It helps me a lot, actually. Yeah. I'll give you one example. If you're a visitor to Korea, there's a host mentality. In Japanese, it's called omotenashi. In Korean, there's a concept of you're my son-nim, my guest. And it's very strong, very similar to Japanese omotenashi, right?
Starting point is 00:15:22 They want to exceed in treating you well. They want to give you food. They want to take care of you. They want to do that. They want to create this concept of Jung, not to create the concept, but to have Jung with you. And that would be the ideal because Koreans, most Koreans, not all maybe,
Starting point is 00:15:42 but Koreans want to have that connection, that deep connection. They want to drink with you. Koreans want to have that connection, that deep connection. They want to drink with you. They want to stay out late with you. They want to wrestle with you. They want to argue with you. They want to put their arms around your shoulder and sing a song after like downing some soju, right? They want to feel that like real visceral connection with you. And people often, I don't really enjoy it, but people often in business, even in technology, which is somewhat of a more cerebral industry, they want to go out late and have drinks until five, six in the morning. And in the US we're like, hey, this is
Starting point is 00:16:16 just way too much. Like this is bedtime. They want to do that to know that they have a bond with you. They want to create that somewhat like abruptly right but you see that yeah i'm trying to find the character for jung it's really bothering me that i oh wait wait okay jung is jung is good jung is positive jung is, a warm feeling of attachment. Yeah. Han, not so much. Yeah, Zheng, you see that character, the Chinese character in, I'm pretty sure, in concepts like sympathy, those types of sort of feeling, emotive concepts. That's right. Empathy, sympathy, affection, bonds. In every movie, in every TV series. They're moving in and out
Starting point is 00:17:08 of Han and Jung in the narrative, in the storytelling. And that's, I think, if you were to whittle it down, if you had to really simplify and reduce it to something very like at root level,
Starting point is 00:17:23 I think it would be that Koreans are moving between jung and han in their storytelling in their life their business there's a moment with probably with your friends in high school where it's all happy and positive then maybe after a critical moment or an emotional thing or maybe if you guys were drinking beers at night as teenagers where it flipped yeah usually i could tell if the eyes got really big i'd be like oh boy here we go red yeah yeah red face big eyes i'm like oh oh i think we're getting into hulk there's an energy energy. Energy frequency has changed.
Starting point is 00:18:07 But yeah, so that, I mean, I wanted to, yeah, that's what I would think about when I think about like how to whittle it down to something basic. Next up, Dr. Willoughby Britton, clinical psychologist and founder of Cheetah House, a nonprofit that provides evidence-based information and support for meditators in distress. Are there any intensive retreats that you recommend or extended retreats? And I suppose the broader question is, how can one know where to practice
Starting point is 00:18:48 and vet properly, right? If someone wants to do a meditation retreat. And the reason I ask is, for instance, with psychedelics, which are still largely underground at this point, even though at some point, hopefully there will be an entire framework for administering them
Starting point is 00:19:05 reasonably safely to people who fit certain criteria. If someone finds a facilitator who says, no one under my care has ever had a bad trip, that is a huge red flag because it means they're either deluding themselves, they're lying, or they're really inexperienced. Those are kind of the only options on the table because you're effectively using nuclear power to change the plasticity of the mind. Of course, there are going to be adverse events. Of course, there are going to be outliers. And so you want someone who has actually handled those cases to push my F1 analogy. if you go to a racetrack, let's just say, and you're going to a track day, and the track runner says, we've never had any accident of any type on our track, that's a bad thing. Because someone's going to have an accident, you want to make sure they have protocols in place, they have experience, they have the presence of mind to
Starting point is 00:20:00 handle it calmly, etc, etc. So I could see that applying also to vetting meditation retreats, but putting myself in the position of someone listening to this, I might say, holy shit, of the people who've tried meditation once, X percentage have these persistent problems, like this seems really, really dangerous. Maybe I just shouldn't meditate. So to maybe offset that a little bit, are there retreats that you ever recommend? And how can someone vet if they're considering doing a retreat? A lot of it has to do with matching the goals to the person. So I don't want to necessarily rule out or recommend any particular retreat across the board. I think that there are certain retreats that are
Starting point is 00:20:47 pretty repeat offenders. And those are ones that have like high dose, you know, 15 hours of meditation a day, no movement practice. Often you see an alternation between walking and sitting, and sometimes there's even yoga added. So more intense practices with no movement and also not necessarily tailored feedback from teachers. So I would be very careful before going on one of those. And I think just in general, there are so many different options for retreats these days. You can do like an afternoon retreat where it's only a couple hours. Start there. Titrate up. And you can do this at home. You don't even have to necessarily spend the money. You can just download an app and do that for a day and see how you do.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Titrate up and add a day at a time rather than signing up for a 10-day retreat. Something I have not mentioned before is that I've done shorter meditation retreats, like two or three days with no issues whatsoever. So I just want to point that out. The other fine detail that I want to mention, because I think Spirit Rock runs a very good ship and I think they're very well formatted and they do have safeguards in place that they explicitly advise against fasting. And I violated that rule. I overrode that. Right. And also added the psychedelics, which certainly I had not mentioned to anyone until I had already
Starting point is 00:22:24 sort of capsized. the psychedelics, which certainly I had not mentioned to anyone until I had already sort of capsized. Yeah, this never used to be an issue. But I know that people are doing that, that people are bringing psychedelics on retreats. And I think a lot of the retreats, they have to manage a lot of people. People are already having challenging experiences, the regular kind of challenging experiences with meditation. And so to have to manage people who are also taking psychedelics, that's a lot. It's not really fair to a meditation retreat. No, it's going to be invisible to them for the most part, I'm sure. It's not going to be reported. Just like people lie on their medical intakes about the psychiatric medications they're taking if they are wedded to taking psychedelics with a facilitator. This happens all the time. People sort of misrepresent their health status because they're so vested in this last Hail Mary, Obi-Wan Kenobi, or Final Hope solution panacea that they see in psychedelics and i have to imagine
Starting point is 00:23:26 that also happens with meditation retreats i should also say i'd love for you to say a bit more about repeat offenders are there any other characteristics or format issues that you see producing more problems than others outside of what you already mentioned? So in terms of the retreat or meditation type or in terms of personal risk factors? The retreat or meditation type that seem to produce a higher volume of people with these issues. I would say retreats that recruit or are attracting a certain type of meditator, which by the way, like you fit the bill, like pretty exactly. When I heard the story, I was like, wow, that's pretty emblematic of textbook. Yeah. Young male, pretty educated, combining all sorts of tools, you know, fairly aggressive.
Starting point is 00:24:22 We used to joke that one of the risk factors was zealotry, a kind of zealotry, a zeal. So something like that. And so there's a certain kind of almost like military, this is going to be a really, really hard retreat. Those types of retreats are a little bit more high risk. And I think there's also the combination of the person and the teacher slash format. One of the things that we found that was really shocking in the varieties of contemplative experience study is that on one hand, we expected to see people who ran into problems as people who had lots of problems in their lives. But when we actually like looked at the data, 75% had graduate degrees, MD, PhDs, JDs.
Starting point is 00:25:08 These were like CEOs of major companies. These are like super high achieving people. And we're like, this is so interesting. How do we make sense of that? And we're like, oh, right. Being a high achiever is a risk factor. I was just about to say, like the drug addiction in the medical profession is off the charts, like suicide's off the charts.
Starting point is 00:25:27 It's because these are the kinds of people that you're like, okay, you're going to sit and follow your breath. And they're like, okay, like, they're the ones that show up early for the meditation and they're the last ones to leave. They follow instructions exactly. They would never modify the instructions for their own benefit. That would not even occur to them. Unless they make it more intense. You know, the kinds of people that, and this is kind of where trauma comes in.
Starting point is 00:25:52 If you've been trained to scan, what are the expectations here? What are the sort of unspoken social rules that I need to ace in order to not be punished. If that's like kind of your MO running in the background, then we have all these people like following instructions exactly, not modifying them, basically listening to an external authority rather than their own internal compass. That's the recipe for disaster. And so if you can interface with really any type of meditation, spiritual system with maintaining your inner compass, that's going to be a recipe for a much better outcome. Not everybody can do that.
Starting point is 00:26:36 And not all systems are tolerant of that. And so I would also encourage, and we've had lots of trainings with meditation centers trying to be able to be more flexible. And so if somebody knows, like, I need to be able to leave the meditation in the middle so that I'm not continuing to meditate, and the meditation retreat manager is like, no, that won't be allowed. You have to stay. If you come, you have to stay for the whole thing. That's not really allowing flexibility. So are there ways that people can titrate the amount of practice that they're getting within a retreat? Is there a way to like, hey, on Wednesday, we'll have burger night for people
Starting point is 00:27:14 who need to increase the fat intake? That is actually happening now. The vegetarian diet piece is super interesting. I mean, I don't know if the acuity is sufficient as a factor, but it makes me think also with, for instance, some of these conditions that are, let's just say, contraindicated for most psychedelic use, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, understanding these are all kind of like word salad things taken from the DSM, which is kind of a big question mark for a lot of reasons. But some of these more, for lack of better terms, sort of chaotic conditions are contraindicated, respond really well to something called metabolic psychiatry. Chris Palmer has spoken about this out of Harvard, using high-fat, effectively ketogenic diet, but like high-fat moderate protein. Some of these people respond incredibly well. So if you look though at the food served at these meditation retreats, uniformly, effectively the exact polar opposite,
Starting point is 00:28:09 right? Which is kind of interesting. Last but not least, Sheila Heen, co-founder of Triad Consulting Group and co-author of Thanks for the Feedback, the science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well, and Difficult Conversations, How to Discuss What Matters Most. One foundation thing is have the two of you had a conversation about how they prefer to get feedback. And that can be one of the most helpful and powerful things to do, which is to sit down and talk about, hey, what makes you feel appreciated? Because some people need to hear the words. Other people don't really care about the
Starting point is 00:28:57 words. But the fact that you come to them for advice with some of your toughest problems, or you would like their input on your proofreading, tells them they're valued, right? So what makes you feel appreciated? If I have coaching for you, what's your advice to me on when and how to give it? Do you have pet peeves about feedback generally? We all have pet peeves. That's a really interesting conversation to have. When you're triggered by feedback, how can I tell? How will I be able to tell? And it might be totally obvious, but sometimes people shut down and I can't tell whether you're taking it in or arguing in your head. And when you are triggered or feeling defensive, what advice do you have for me
Starting point is 00:29:45 on what will help? And we have a little template that's like how to get the best out of me that each of us can jot down some thoughts too, and then talk about. How to get the best out of me. Is that a template that is available online or that we could put in the show notes? Yeah, on the Triad Consulting website, triadconsultinggroup.com, we have a nav called Help Yourself. And it's got a bunch of templates, exercises, etc. So just having that conversation up front
Starting point is 00:30:21 means I don't have to guess at how to give you feedback because you've already told me and hopefully I've taken some notes, which I keep handy to remind myself. And so I can refer back like, hey, I had a couple of thoughts about the presentation last week. And I wonder when it would be helpful to chat about it a little bit or whatever, right? The second thing is that really the fastest way to change a feedback culture and to help people be more receptive is to become a good receiver yourself and be soliciting and eliciting feedback from others and to assume every conversation,
Starting point is 00:31:00 even when I think I'm pretty clearly the giver here, I'm probably going to end up being a receiver. Because what they're going to say is, well, the reason I did that is because you were so unclear about what you wanted or whatever. So I have to assume there are things I've contributed to the situation that are going to be part of the conversation, even when, for me, the primary purpose is to tell you what I think you could do differently or better. There's a question that we use a lot that I think is incredibly helpful just in building a habit of integrating feedback into daily life, which is not, hey, do you have any feedback for me, which we've talked
Starting point is 00:31:38 about as a terrible question, well-intended but terrible, particularly from a leader, because giving feedback up feels very risky and fraught. So if you are in a position of leadership, you are impacting more and more people, and fewer and fewer of them are going to take the chance to tell you about it. So you've got to actually have some pretty advanced skills in receiving feedback and inviting it. And one way you can do that is to ask, what's one thing? What's one thing that I'm doing or maybe failing to do that you think is getting in the way? Or what's one thing that if I could change it would make a difference to you? Or what's one thing that in our Monday morning meeting, we could change to make it more efficient? Because I know people are
Starting point is 00:32:21 flagging, their energy is flagging. That's a question that you can toss off while you're walking down the hall and it lowers the stakes. It's very clear you're asking for coaching. You're looking for something to improve and you're also signaling. And by the way, I expect you to be receptive to coaching also because I'm going to demonstrate I value it. I assume I'm still learning and I expect that you're still learning too. And now here are the bios for all the guests. This episode is a bit of an anomaly, a bit of a highlight for me. It deviates from the usual format. I am interviewing a world-class performer, in this case, my good friend Steve Jang,
Starting point is 00:33:05 who is one of those people, one of those tech founders and entrepreneurs and investors who seems to be able to look around corners to see things before they go mainstream. And he has an impeccable record. But in this particular sit down, we are in person in Seoul, South Korea. I had wanted to visit Korea for 20 plus years and had never pulled the trigger, finally did. I always wanted to go with a friend who could show me around, and Steve Jang is such a person. And Korea exceeded every expectation on every level, in every dimension. It really blew my mind. And so I wanted to do an episode discussing all things Korea. So in this conversation, we talk about the K wave, that is the exploding soft power of Korea, which is not accidental, by the way, the poverty to power playbook,
Starting point is 00:33:59 so to speak, how did they go from, I don't want to say a backwater, but a very handicapped, economically handicapped country to being an incredible export economy with a global presence, not just in entertainment, but in hardware, in all sorts of technology, et cetera. A number of concepts like Han, must-see movies, and much more. And before we dive into Steve's bio, I wanted to share his top must-see Korean movies. So I'm just going to list them out, give you some Scooby snacks in the very beginning. Here we go. Old Boy, Wailing, that's W-A-I-L-I-N-G. So Old Boy, Wailing, The Handmaiden, Memories of Murder, Parasite, many of you will have seen this, and this comes up in the conversation. Burning, Minari, M-I-N-A-R-I, Broker, which is from 2022, and Joint Security Area. All right, so who is Steve Jang?
Starting point is 00:34:54 You can find him on Twitter at Steve Jang, J-A-N-G. Steve is the founder and managing partner at Kindred Ventures, an early stage venture capital fund based in San Francisco. He is one of the founder now investor generation of VCs that arose out of the last technology cycle. And he and I have been advisors to a lot of the same companies invested in a lot of the same companies. He is very, very good at what he does. Steve is one of the top 100 venture capital investors in the world, according to the Forbes Midas list of top venture capital investors, and was ranked number 45 in 2023. He's also a Korean American, a gyopo, we'll explain what gyopo is, who is deeply invested and involved in both the technological and cultural worlds in the US and Asia. He is often a bridge. Previously, Steve was an early advisor to and angel investor in Uber, and then an early stage
Starting point is 00:35:45 investor in some names you might recognize, Coinbase, Postmates, Poshmark, Tonal, Blue Bottle Coffee, and Humane, the AI device platform that is getting a lot of buzz right now. In fact, he helped Uber, Coinbase, and Blue Bottle Coffee, among others, to expand into Korea and Japan. He is very familiar with both places. As an entrepreneur, Steve co-founded companies in the consumer internet, mobile, and crypto space. And on top of all of that, in the film and music world, he is an executive producer. His most recent film is a documentary, Nam June Paik, Moon is the Oldest TV, which tells the story of the greatest Korean artist and father of digital video art, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2023. His next film is a documentary about
Starting point is 00:36:29 Vitalik Buterin, the creator of Ethereum. You can find Steve on Twitter, as I mentioned, at Steve Jang. You can find Kindred Ventures at kindredventures.com. And you can find Steve on LinkedIn at Steve Jang 1. It is my pleasure today to have Willoughby Britton, PhD on the podcast. She is a clinical psychologist and associate professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University Medical School and the director of Brown's Clinical and Effective Neuroscience Laboratory. And that is A-effective with an A. Her clinical neuroscience research
Starting point is 00:37:06 investigates the effects of contemplative practices, i.e. meditation, or certainly one example being meditation, on the brain and body in the treatment of mood disorders, trauma, and other conditions. She is especially interested in which practices are best or worst suited for which types of people or conditions and why. She's probably best known for her research on adverse effects, why they happen, and how to mitigate them. And we'll be doing a very deep dive on this, certainly. Dr. Britton is the founder of Cheetah House, as in the large and very fast cat, Cheetah House, a nonprofit organization that provides evidence-based information and support for meditators in
Starting point is 00:37:45 distress, as well as meditation safety trainings to providers and organizations. You can find Cheetah House on Twitter at CheetahHouseOrg. Facebook, you can find it CheetahHouse.org and on Instagram at Cheetah.House. My guest today is Sheila Heen. This is her second appearance on the podcast. Sheila has spent the last three decades working to understand how people can better navigate conflict with a particular specialty in difficult conversations. God knows we need more of that expertise for all of our sakes. She is a founder of Triad Consulting Group, a professor at Harvard Law School, and a co-author of Thanks
Starting point is 00:38:25 for the Feedback, the science and art of receiving feedback well, even when it's off base, unfair, poorly delivered, and frankly, you're not in the mood, with Douglas Stone and Difficult Conversations, subtitle, How to Discuss What Matters Most, also with Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton, with a newly updated third edition that was just released in August. Sheila and her colleagues at Triad work with leaders and organizations to build their capacity to have the conversations that matter most. Her clients have included Pixar, American Express, the NBA, the Singapore Supreme Court, maybe we'll talk about that, who knows, the Obama White House, and theologians struggling with the nature of truth and God. She is schooled in negotiation
Starting point is 00:39:04 daily by her three children. You can find my first and very popular conversation with Sheila at tim.blog slash Sheila Heen. Hey guys, this is Tim again. Just one more thing before you take off and that is Five Bullet Friday. Would you enjoy getting a short email from me every Friday that provides a little fun before the weekend? Between one and a half and two million people subscribe to my free newsletter, my super short newsletter called Five Bullet Friday. Easy to sign up, easy to cancel. It is basically a half page that I send out every Friday to share the coolest things I've found or discovered or have started exploring over that week. It's kind of like my diary of cool things. It often includes articles I'm reading, books I'm reading, albums, perhaps, gadgets, gizmos, all sorts of tech tricks and so on that get sent to me by my friends, including a lot of podcast guests. And these
Starting point is 00:39:56 strange esoteric things end up in my field, and then I test them, and then I share them with you. So if that sounds fun, again, it's very short, a little tiny bite of goodness before you head off for the weekend, something to think about. If you'd like to try it out, just go to tim.blog slash Friday, type that into your browser, tim.blog slash Friday,
Starting point is 00:40:17 drop in your email and you'll get the very next one. Thanks for listening.

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