The Tim Ferriss Show - #817: 4-Hour Workweek Success Stories — Charlie Houpert on Building “Charisma on Command” to 10M+ Subscribers, From Charging $10 for Seminars to Making Millions, Living in Brazil, Critical Early Decisions, and The Secret to Freedom
Episode Date: June 25, 2025Charlie Houpert is the co-founder of Charisma on Command, a company that helps people develop confidence, charisma, and strong social skills. Originally launched as a 4-Hour Workweek-inspired... “muse,” it has since grown into one of the largest platforms for social skills and confidence training, with more than 10 million YouTube subscribers worldwide and more than a billion views across its channels in six languages. His flagship course, Charisma University, has guided more than 30,000 members through practical steps to become more magnetic.This episode is brought to you by: Patagonia's call-to-action to protect America's public lands. Go to Patagonia.com/Tim to learn more and act now. Monarch Money track, budget, plan, and do more with your money: MonarchMoney.com/Tim (50% off your first year at monarchmoney.com with code TIM)LinkedIn Jobs recruitment platform with 1B+ users: https://linkedin.com/tim (post your job for free)*Timestamps: [00:00:00] Start.[00:06:44] Charlie meets the boogeyman (me).[00:10:11] Why defaulting to management consulting after college felt like daily self-betrayal.[00:13:21] Leaping into parkour training via DVD as a first business attempt.[00:15:45] Moonlighting vs. burning-ships entrepreneurship.[00:16:54] Negotiating remote work with a 90% raise.[00:21:22] Charlie moves to New York and kicks off KickAss Academy.[00:22:16] Airbnb survival tactics while living in a 396 sq. ft. apartment.[00:23:26] Using the fear-setting exercise and other disaster-mitigation strategies.[00:26:11] Charlie’s first blog post and crossing the publishing Rubicon.[00:28:26] How Charlie’s first in-person class prompted an accidental business model.[00:34:21] 10 go-getters make an ambitious move to Brazil.[00:32:14] The daily growth whiteboard system.[00:37:58] How a harsh Tucker Max consultation galvanized the rebranding to Charisma on Command.[00:44:39] From financial downturn to pre-selling a course for $12,500.[00:50:44] Finally making enough money to chase summer in six-to-eight-month increments.[00:52:00] Enjoying the sustainable benefits of creating timeless content.[00:54:05] How Bill Clinton seduced 7,000 people into following Charlie on YouTube.[00:55:46] How Greg McKeown’s Essentialism helped solve Charlie’s “Herbie” problem.[00:58:26] Evolving funnel flow and fame-jacking.[01:03:46] YouTube algorithm changes, short-form content, and maintaining audience trust for the long term.[01:10:58] Why I still create this podcast.[01:19:30] The dangers of succumbing entirely to audience expectation over authenticity.[01:21:42] The catalysts that led to time off, an ayahuasca retreat, and a seven-year transformation process.[01:30:26] Making the transition from 50/50 partner to sole owner.[01:35:16] Recommended reading: Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden[01:37:32] The influence of The Last Psychiatrist blog.[01:41:46] Jay Abraham coaching: “Make it good enough for Tim Ferriss.”[01:43:52] How testimonials added a 4x conversion lift.[01:44:31] Coming to an agreement with the co-founder.[01:47:20] Joe Hudson and the Art of Accomplishment.[01:51:57] Why I stand by The 4-Hour Workweek without further revision, warts and all.[01:55:06] Exercising gratitude even when receiving praise is difficult.[01:59:15] Relationship with earlier work: video vs. writing.[02:02:05] Don’t miss “Filling the Void.”[02:03:56] More recommended reading.[02:06:43] Improv & Dragons.[02:08:06] Charlie’s billboard: “Don’t think, feel.”[02:08:57] Parting thoughts.*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello boys and girls ladies and germs this is tim ferris welcome to another episode of the tim ferris show where it is my job to interview and deconstruct how high performers do exactly what they do how they arrived where they are the skills the habits the tools everything that went into their journey to mastery of some type and.
This episode.
And this episode is an experiment. I've done this long ago, once or twice.
People enjoyed it.
So I am doing a four hour work week case study, a success story.
And this is a fun one.
Charlie Hooper is the guest's name.
You can spell his last name.
H O U P E R T.
He is co-founder of Charisma on Command, a company that helps people develop confidence,
charisma and strong social skills. co-founder of Charisma on Command, a company that helps people develop confidence, charisma,
and strong social skills.
His journey from step one is pretty fascinating.
There are a lot of challenges along the way, ups and downs, and I think it mirrors the
paths of many who have implemented the four-hour work week, including sticking points.
Some people don't overcome those, but he was able to problem solve or at least endure through some of them. So it's very, very instructive.
Now Charisma on Command originally launched as a four hour work week inspired muse has
since grown into one of the largest platforms for social skills and confidence training
with more than 10 million YouTube subscribers worldwide and more than a billion views
across its content in six languages.
His flagship course, Charisma University,
has guided more than 30,000 members through practical steps
to become more magnetic.
And I'll give you a teaser.
It didn't just work out of the gate.
It didn't initially have that branding.
And there were many sideallies, many attempts, example,
parkour VHS tapes, instructional, and a whole bunch of other stories and examples that I
think people will enjoy. Charlie was once voted most likely to break out of his shell
and began studying charisma to overcome his own social anxiety. He now explores the deeper
roots of confidence through archetypal psychology, embodied practices, and much more.
You can find Charisma on Command at youtube.com slash charisma on command, and you can find
Charlie at Charlie Hubert, H-O-U-P-E-R-T at Charlie Hubert on Instagram and X.
And now just a few words from the people who make this podcast possible
before we get to a wide-ranging conversation with Charlie. Thanks for
listening. I am always asked by listeners, readers, you name it, what helps me to
reset, feel grounded in a world of chaos and doom-sc scrolling, recover from setbacks, we all have setbacks or simply feel at peace.
And without a doubt, the answer is always the same. That is going into nature,
usually with my pup, Molly, ideally,
but I do a lot of solo journeys as well.
Solo trips out into the wilderness and for many millions of Americans,
myself included,
our national park system
is the best single place to do just that,
which is why what I'm gonna tell you
is very, very important to me, very near and dear to me.
So I appreciate you paying attention.
So let me just mention a few things.
Our public lands cover nearly a third
of our country's land mass.
And with more than 433 national park sites, there's a ton to
explore whether you're fishing, hiking, or just camping with family. I've been all over the place.
I have actually planned trips just around visiting national parks. And the best thing about our parks
is that as Americans, we collectively own them. This means we can visit and enjoy them any time we want.
And you may not realize this,
but this is a uniquely American invention.
And in fact, there is a documentary series
by the legendary Ken Burns called The National Parks,
America's Best Idea.
And you can check that out for more.
But the point is this, for more than a century,
our government has protected our public lands
by holding them in a public trust.
But it's becoming harder and less safe
for us to access these awe-inspiring places.
Now we are at a precipice.
We are at a really key inflection point and whether it goes up or down will depend on
what people like you, people like me do. Congress is preparing to vote on a bill that would force
the sale of millions of acres of public lands to, among other things, fund tax breaks for
billionaires. So don't love the sound of that. And if approved, the bill would trigger the largest single sale of national public lands
in modern history.
So this is a big deal.
And it is very timely.
So please join me and many thousands of other Americans who are speaking up to protect our
public lands.
Visit Patagonia.com slash Tim to learn more.
One more time.
Check it out.
Please take 10 seconds and do it.
Patagonia.com slash Tim. This 10 seconds and do it. Patagonia.com.
slash Tim. This message was brought to you by Patagonia.
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That's 50% off of your first year at MonarchMoney.com with code TIM. Charlie, welcome to the show. Nice to be spending some time together. And I thought we would
start as you suggested, since I do not have much memory of this. That is not to say that
I am too big for my britches. I think it was quite a while ago, but how did we first meet
in person? Yeah, this is not our first time meeting.
No, it was a much larger moment in my life than in yours, I think.
This is 2011, 2012.
I'm working as a management consultant in Washington, DC.
And I have been a four-hour workweek acolyte for probably six months.
Like, evangelical. Everyone needs to read this book.
We're all entrepreneurs. I've sold nothing at this point.
I've got no product, but everybody has to do this.
I'm out to dinner with my company.
We've just completed this contract.
And sitting there, face in the door,
and Tim Ferriss walks in.
And the blood drains from my body.
I go cold.
I'm working on being more gregarious.
My boss sees, he goes, what's wrong?
I say, it's Tim Ferriss.
Tim Ferriss is here.
Like the boogeyman walked in.
I've told him and he goes, the four hour guy?
I said, it's him, yeah, it's him.
So I, you know, I excused myself to go to the bathroom,
walked over to your table.
This is on H Street in DC.
And I just said, you know, hey Tim, Mr. Tim, I don't.
I want you to.
I read your book and it's changed my life.
This is even before it really changed my life.
And I love your blog and it's just, it was so great.
You turned and faced me and were very kind.
You gave me far more attention that I had anticipated
that I would get and ask some questions
about what I was doing.
And at the time I was like, fuck,
I haven't actually made anything happen.
So I was like, you know, I'm working on this, that and the other thing.
Then excuse myself to go to the bathroom where I was like, fuck,
you ruined it.
And came back and didn't have an ask.
This is an interesting learning for me.
And it was just like, do you want to get coffee tomorrow?
I don't even drink coffee.
You're like, sorry, I'm in town.
I'm just doing the four hour body.
I've got some meetings tomorrow, so I can't do it.
And politely excuse yourself.
But for me, that was, it was a number of things.
It was like, man, I wish that I was able to have that conversation in a way that
created more connection between he and I.
And it was also, it's funny to be sitting here now, cause at the time I had this
projected belief that if you would just feature my business in the Muse,
if you would just write about it on your blog,
everything would be solved.
You know, like units would start flying off the shelf
and I'd be taken care of forever.
So it's really cool to be sitting here
on the other side of that projection and get to chat.
Yeah, okay, DC, I very rarely go to DC.
So I mean, in the multiverse of other infinite possibilities, it is pretty incredible that
we met at all because I so rarely go to DC.
And I think you can also probably cut yourself some slack in the sense that in those conditions,
it's pretty hard to establish a very quick
rapport and connection.
Oh yeah.
I don't know.
Was I by myself or in a group?
You were by yourself.
It was offered up on a silver platter.
No, not to say, you know, I reflect and it's like you're in town for one day, but the idea
that maybe there was something that could have been said to create that connection was the inception seed that
Just kept spinning in my internal safe for the next 10 years
All right, so let's double click on the management consulting and then how you became an ex management consultant
or just the path itself because I
Have seen interviews with you and you talk about, of course, various
different things, Charisma on Command, Charisma University, you have this topic area expertise.
And we'll probably touch on some of that, but for a lot of my audience and for my own
personal curiosity, I want to hear about your journey, right? Your personal journey, not necessarily focusing
on the content that you're best at showcasing.
And I suspect we'll probably get to some of that.
But looking back at the early chronology
is always fun for me because I remember, for instance,
and I wanna not make this the Tim Ferriss retrospective show,
but that exact experience that you had with me,
I have had many times with other people.
Where, you know, I'm just like fumble out
some accidental pig latin,
and then I go to the bathroom and I'm just like,
you idiot, that could have been the sentence
that changed your life and you fucked it up.
So not to say that's what you said yourself, but certainly I have had those types of experiences.
So let's go back to management consulting.
What was that experience like?
Just paint a picture and then I know this might seem like a lazy question, but just
like take us forward from there.
Oh, every day it felt like a lazy question, but just like take us forward from there.
Oh, every day it felt like a self betrayal.
So I read the four hour work week when I was in grad school and I was in grad school cause I was a philosophy major as an undergrad and graduated in 2009,
where not only were they not hiring philosophy majors,
they weren't hiring anybody. So hit out in business school for a year,
wound up as a consultant because that's what you do when you don't know what
you're supposed to do with your life. And every day
putting on that suit felt like a betrayal of myself, especially having read the
4-hour workweek at that point. And so there were these minor rebellions that I
would stage, like I had a faux hawk and I wouldn't cut it and I would put it down.
There were these subtle passive aggressive.
I let my shoes fall apart.
I had my business shoes, but I wouldn't get new ones.
They were like ratty and crappy.
And it was just these ways of like, this is not me.
This is not right.
And then I would come home from that after sort of sneaking
out as early as I could and I would write in just my own
little journal about like, this is not what I want,
I don't want this life, I don't want to be the guy who is my boss or the guy who is his boss.
And so it was in this period of time that I was noticing and experimenting with coming out of my
shell at the same time. So I was able to make friends with not just my boss or his boss,
but like I was got close with the president of the company.
And it was through just talking about the bars and clubs
I was going to at Saturdays.
And he was vicariously, we'd meet Monday morning,
be like, so what'd you get into this weekend?
And we had a little rapport there of,
I remember the good old days type of a thing.
And so had that job wasn't right,
had our fruitful encounter,
which didn't wind up selling anything. And at the time I was, my first business was a
parkour training DVD. I think I even used a service that you'd listed in the four hour
work week to try to do it. And was trying to get that off the ground, you know, selling
it through Google AdWords, very like step by step for our work week. Like it could have
been a chapter had it worked
and it was starting to go but it wasn't it wasn't something I loved and I was struggling with it
because my co-founder and best friend was in New York. I was in Washington DC. How did you
choose parkour at the time? How did you decide on that and were there any other candidates where
it's like okay here's the top four we're going to strike these out, we're going with parkour?
There was.
I did the little Venn diagram of what do I want that other people might be interested
in.
I just wrote all of my interests.
I hadn't done parkour, but I liked Casino Royale.
That was my level of exposure to parkour.
One of the best intro sequences of any James Bond.
Yes.
So the idea was, oh, wow, there's no parkour gyms.
If there are, they're expensive. Maybe people would want to learn this. I would want to take a class. And so went out, hired a guy that had done it, that never shot anything before. I mean, there's so many funny little stories. He chips his tooth the day before the shoot. So he's got this like lisp before the shoot and he can't remember more than a line. So we're saying lines to him as he's trying to teach parkour, chopping that.
Chopped this footage up into 35 or 40 minutes
of like how to do a wall run, how to do a Kong,
how to do all these things and made a DVD out of it
from Trepsar.
So the other things, I mean,
I can't remember what was on there,
but it was very much, I was a little bit outside of myself
and thinking what do other people want? I hadn't gotten to the scratch your own itch experience. And what
I experienced was that, oh, wow, we're actually selling enough DVDs to break even on AdWords
and even a little bit of profit, which means if we did a follow up, we'd be totally in
the black. And I'm
Follow up meaning you're selling to pre-existing customers?
Correct. If we'd made the advanced course or do you want personal coaching or something?
And I was completely deflated.
I was like, I can't do this other thing in addition to my job that I don't love in order to get free of the job.
So there was this recursive four-hour workweek mentality, which is like, stop doing the thing that you don't want to do in order to get to the place that you want to be.
Just do the thing that you want to do in order to get to the place that you want to be, just do the thing that you want to do.
Although at the same time,
just to play with that for a second,
the approach of moonlighting,
just to dip your toe in the water,
get a taste of the blood, whatever metaphor you wanna use,
I think is actually pretty helpful in the sense
that you don't have to act out of desperation,
you still have a safety net of some type,
but then you can make an informed decision about whether or not you want to burn the
ships so to speak. Just my two cents.
It was an integral step. I very much agree with you. I needed the experience of disliking
consulting and then the experience of disliking my side gig to go, okay, the next side gig
has to be something that I would do for free or I'm paying to do. And so then it was, okay, the next side gig has to be something that I would do for free or I'm paying to do.
And so then it was, okay, what am I spending money on? It's like, well, I go out to these bars and
not to drink to like talk to women and try to get them to like me and to make friends. And I put way
more time, effort, attention into studying how our interaction went. I can't tell you how many times
I chatted with my best friend about like what if I said this?
What if we were we were putting far too much energy relative to others into?
understanding people and how to connect better
so
There was a transition of
My best friend and co-founder was in New York. He was an investment banker. I was in DC
I was a consultant we would talk every day after work for an hour about the interactions we had.
And I was just aching.
Like I didn't have other friends in DC.
So I went to this president who I had been close to, and there was this moment
where I was trying to get the side gig and trying to get a job in New York.
And I went to Skillshare and they didn't want to hire me.
And I went to all these companies, they wouldn't hire me.
I was taking weekend trips.
And eventually my friend was like,
why don't you just quit and go to New York
and figure it out there?
So having settled with that
and done the fear setting exercises
and what's the worst thing that can happen,
I came in and I made a pitch to my president,
which was, I mean, a lot of four hour work week things,
which is once it's already done, people get out of your way.
So I was internally, I was like, this is done.
We're not talking about if I'm going to New York.
So I sat down, I said, hey,
you guys have been really good to me.
I appreciate it.
I just cannot be in DC any longer.
I feel socially like I'm missing something.
I wanna be with my friends in New York,
but I wanna transition in a way that is really good for you
to repay the kindness that you guys have showed me, which was true.
And we sat there and he's like, you know what, let's work something out.
So he winds up saying, instead of being an analyst, let's make you a contractor.
Except if you're a contractor, the base rate that we pay contractors is twice as much as
we pay analysts.
So we'd have to give you basically like a 90% raise in order to do it,
but you'd have no job security and no health care.
Month to month you could get fired.
So I'm like, wait a second, I get to go to New York, double my pay, and no health care.
This is incredible.
So it worked out really well and I wound up keeping that job,
working remotely from New York and making one trip
every two weeks for a few months as I did this.
That's a pretty sweet bridge, yeah.
At least for a while.
Oh, it was magical.
And it was this showing up with,
hey, I love you but here's what I have to do
and I'm open to something that works for both of us,
was really powerful.
So let me ask you this, for people who are listening and they might be thinking themselves
like hmm that's a really interesting bridge or just improvement quality of life also you
got the income increase.
How did you plan for that meeting?
Basically the pitch slash delivery that ended up in a remote work agreement?
Step one was to get clear that it was happening and I wasn't there to make him
do anything. I wasn't trying to convince him to force it. So I was able to really
come in with the mentality of, I want to show love to you. I want to support you
guys and take care of you and I'm willing to be flexible and I can stay another two weeks
But this is happening. So it was making sure that first and foremost. I wasn't asking him to meet a need of mine
I'm gonna meet my needs. How can we work together? Then it was literally rehearsing it. I ran through the conversation
This was not an outcome that I had ever planned
I thought it was like yes
I'd be willing to stay on for three more weeks and then come down and do touch points here and there and I'm happy to
get on the phone and talk to the person you have replacing me. But I really think
it was the pre-established relationship that we had plus me taking care of my
needs and then saying what is best for you. Like I generally within these
bounds I want to do what's best for you and he came up with that solution. I
didn't suggest it, which was powerful.
And I've seen that same sort of dynamic play out
many, many times in my life.
Yeah, for sure.
And I think employees, well, I know oftentimes
it's been a few eons, but I've been an employee,
underestimate their own value or position.
And as a result, sometimes feel like they need to go hat in hand and
expect maybe the outcome to always fall in the boss's favor. But the fact of the matter
is in the boss's favor, if you actually work hard and are a decent, let alone a very good
performer, it is a huge pain in the ass to replace someone. Yeah. It is. And for that reason, I think many people are surprised when they have some of these conversations,
how often they're like, huh, wasn't even going to ask for that. And look what ended up coming my way.
You had all that money just lying around. Why don't you tell me?
Let me open up this chest full of gold coins.
Yeah.
So then what happens? You move to New York.
So I go to New York.
And I am splitting time now between what is this new business, which is called Kick Ass Academy.
And this is my brilliant idea.
I think we're going to do it's an academy, an online academy where you learn how to live a kick ass life.
And it's about going out.
And it's heavily game influenced at this point.
I've read Neil Strauss is the game.
By Neil Strauss. Yes. Great book. Controversial on a number of levels,
but a really compelling,
it's a compelling underdog sort of fear his journey story. It's,
yeah, it's well written.
And to a 23 year old guy who has been socially restrained and I won the award
for most likely to break out of a shell in college, which is like,
you're the shyest boy in our 500 person class.
Congratulations.
To learn that there was something that I could say or do that would change the receptivity
that I got from people was that was so powerful to see in the game.
So those two books for our workweek game are like really deeply influencing me.
I start sharing some of these blog posts.
Well, actually, first what happens is the government shuts down and that sweet
contractor gig that I have disappears overnight.
So I had like four ish months of like gravy and where I've been saving twice as much.
And then that happens.
So I'm in a 396 square foot apartment, two bedroom in the Lower East Side.
Bathroom door hits the toilet when you open.
Yeah, I was going to say, if we do the math on that square footage, it's not a whole lot of space.
No, no. I'm sleeping literally on a blow-up mattress to save money. I'm eating Chipotle
and learning how to persuade them to give me more scoops in order to save money. I'm frugal beyond
frugal at this point in my life. Start air-being-being my own bedroom and then sleeping in like literally,
God bless him, my co-founder shares his queen-size beds with me so that I can take some nights
and make a hundred bucks a night air-banging my bedroom and in the
meantime the beautiful thing is that everything that was taken from me pushes
me to the next level of putting myself out there so I had all of these
writings that I had been doing in DC about what I believed and what I thought
and what I was learning about speaking with women and people, but I was too afraid to really share them.
So were any of those coping strategies
that you ended up using,
were any of those initially in the fear setting exercise?
Oh yeah, those and others.
It was, I mean, I had play guitar and ask for dollars.
That was farther down the list.
It was learn how to make a basic drink in bartend, Airbnb, the bedroom. These were all that I had a list of things.
So for people who have no context on this, just to set the table a little bit, fear setting,
it's named that because it's a play on goal setting, but it's an exercise. You can find
it at tim.blog slash Ted. I also did a TED talk on it. So you don't have to
buy anything, you can find it. But the basic gist is that you have something you're considering
doing, quitting your job, moving to New York, getting married, getting divorced, whatever
it is. Then you write down all of your fears in as much detail as possible. Because the
more detailed, the more actionable and preventable
and it's sort of the nebulous misty fears that we never put on paper or define that
tend to be the most problematic. So you make this list in excruciating detail of the worst
things that could happen. Then there's another column, the next column, you write down ways
that you could try to prevent those things from happening. And then in the sort of damage control slash mitigation column,
which is yet another column, you ask yourself,
if each of these things happened,
what could I do to limit the damage or get back on my feet,
even if it takes me a while. And there's more to the exercise.
There are other things, but in the mitigation slash damage control column,
you would have something like Airbnb my own bed.
Yeah, Airbnb my own bed.
Sign up for a ton of credit cards
to get the credit card miles and then convert to cash.
I did a lot of things for 50, 60 bucks.
Get a job at Chipotle so that you can eat the food
that you're there and that takes care of food and money.
So I had a lot of these and I ran through quite a few,
uh, zeroed out my 401k and IRA and took the penalty at one point,
a little bit later down the line. So I was doing all of that.
But as things got more and more dire and I'm going through my fear setting
mitigation strategies,
I am confronted with the fears that I have not written down, which is, okay,
it's time to put your writing out there.
So, okay, God, it's so funny.
One of the big mistakes that I've made with the people
that I love is I've tried to prevent and hide from them
and support them in not having to confront
those horrible harrowing entrepreneurial moments
of, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, this isn't working.
Because it is in those moments of tension and pressure
that something pops and you go fine
I'll be honest and share what's on my heart because up until then you're not going to do it or I wasn't going to do it
So what was the first kind of prototype version of?
Post parkour entrepreneurship. Yeah, what was the v1? It's kick-ass academy.com
And we are here to live a kick-ass life and no one can stop us and
We will not be average. It's a 23 year old manifesto about how all the people don't know how to do it and I do
Right, I know the way to do it
It's a regurgitated for our work week plus my own iteration of the game thing
so I write my blog post and
I haven't shared any posts and I remember being in this tiny apartment with my hand hovering over publish and I'm
and I publish it on this blog post and I have to run out of the apartment and go down the
street and you know, just get away from the computer that I don't know houses the blog
post now that is on the internet.
And of course I come back and nobody's read it and a month later
nobody's read it. What was the first blog post? Do you recall? Oh gosh, I wish I knew.
I do not recall. I should have checked before this. It was. That's all right. But it's
some kind of how to thing. It's like seven roles for etc. Or yeah, it might have been
a how to. It might have been a declaration of one of my feelings when I was quitting the job and
like this isn't what I want.
It was not profound, but it was personal and tender to me.
So it was very tough to receive criticism.
And I guess it is maybe, I mean, we'll get there, maybe not in terms of readership, but
in terms of crossing the Rubicon from not publishing to publishing, hitting that button.
Oh my gosh.
Right? Psychologically.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I'm willing to be seen is the emotional thing that is, I think for me has been the challenge
endlessly in entrepreneurship, the way that I've chosen to do it.
So we got that post out and then nobody of course read it.
And then the next step was, okay, I'm going to promote this.
I'm going to go to Reddit. I'm going to go to the forums that are most related.
Every man should know there was a seduction subreddit. There was a New York City related
subreddit and I started posting my own things. And now comments start coming in. And so it's,
thank you, I like this or don't promote your own stuff here or you know now I'm actually dealing with feedback, but the next stage was posting posting I
Wrote a little short pamphlet book, but the real thing that actually started
I think early you might even know I think you probably know him
I hired Neville Madora for like a day of copywriting to help me design the website and
for like a day of copywriting to help me design the website and
wound up with the first actionable real thing that I did was okay. I've got people that read my blog there's like, you know 30 recurring viewers and
I want to host an in-person class that will talk about how to talk to a woman in the park in New York City
Which is something that I'm doing with my friend going out and we're breaking it down and how did it go and all that kind of stuff.
So we rent out a room in one of these office buildings for like 60 bucks for an hour, an
hour and a half or something like that.
I go to the New York City subreddit, I give away five tickets.
They are sold.
People like sold, people accept them, right?
They accept the five free seats.
And then I sell the remaining
five seats for five or 10 bucks. I think I might have sold them for 10 bucks each. And
like an hour before the class, we sold the last one. So we had 10 people in this class,
made 50, lost 60 plus cap fare, down 15 bucks, whatever. Go in and give an hour and a half
presentation with a PowerPoint on, you know, this is what to wear, say, do, stand, here's how to deal with the fear that's gonna come up.
If she rejects you, here's how to address that feeling, all of that sort of stuff.
It was just thrilling to do it, but afterwards four of the ten people stayed after and were like,
do you do coaching? Do you guys do this? And the answer was, now we do.
do you guys do this? And the answer was, now we do.
Right?
Like, how?
Yeah, funny you should ask.
So really had no intention of, you know,
there was not a business idea of there to be an upsell,
but there was enough asking.
So then it evolved into, oh, now we're doing traditional,
what was around at the time, dating coaching
in New York City and we're finding our rates as we did that.
And that was tough.
That's a gig where like you're going out with a dude who's having the most
fearful experience of his life and he's paid you to encourage him and support him in facing that fear, which is I'm going to go speak to that woman that I'm
attracted to at the bar in the park, wherever.
And it's not fun to like push someone
to do something that they're really like they say they want to do but they're they're really
grappling with. And then you know you go out you show them yeah it could look like this it could
look like that. So we did that for a while and we're charging I don't know 100 bucks an hour
as we did. But again something else that cre crept in, same thing with the parkour
was this wasn't the dream. When I'd sat down and I'd done the fear setting, there's another
piece of it, which is you write the 10 out of 10 upside.
Yeah. You assess the upside. If it works, if it works, what's the one to 10 impact positively
if it fails, what's the sort of transient,
most likely not permanent impact, right?
Yes.
And so as we'd sat there and written in detail,
the 10 out of 10 upside, it was never,
you have a dating coaching business
that is stressful in New York City.
It was, you get to live on the beach with your friends,
do work that you like when you like.
There was this idea, which was silly,
that you would have a laptop as you sat on the beach.
That's ridiculous.
It's like a photo op, but it's not a good way to work.
But I had that idea.
I would drink caipirinhas and I'd do it in Rio.
That was like the romantic vision.
And so again, I found myself having this thing
that was working that wasn't the 10 out of 10 upside.
So I just wanna pause for a second and just say say that's where a lot of people get into trouble.
Yeah. Right. Because they find something that is maybe not even 30% of the way to where
they want to be, but it has a seductive traction. And there are certain financial realities.
It's like, Hey, if you need to pay your rent, yeah, you need to pay your rent. But it's very easy for that to then become something that is a monster.
You feel you need to feed that you can't step away from.
And in that case, right, with coaching, you're still trading time
for money, right? At a per hour rate.
And in person in a place that isn't the most fun with guys
that are having a challenging time.
You know, like, yeah, if people want to get a really good laugh,
you can find it on my YouTube channel.
But the Tim Ferriss experiment TV show episodes are all up there for free.
And there's one, I think it's just called the dating episode where a small world,
Neil Strauss is like sitting in a van with an earpiece trying to give me advice.
Yeah. The farmers market in San Francisco
as I'm doing cold approaches. Horrible and horrifying beyond terrible. If you want to
see what that looks like, knock yourselves out.
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Okay. So you decide that the one-on-one coaching in person, this is not the 10 out of 10 that
you'd hoped for.
Yes.
And I think you know the experience.
It's not a great model.
It's really challenging, high intensity, doesn't create the level of transformation with reliability
that you might hope.
And people walk away feeling sometimes very stressed about it.
And so it was, okay, I don't know what it is, but I said Brazil with my friends, etc. So again, I'm evangelical. I'm telling everybody I meet,
have you read the gospel of Tim? Like this book, The Four Hour Workweek, you need to
do it. Everyone's an entrepreneur. That was a mistake in learning it's not for everybody.
I got that in time. So I'm telling everybody and what happens is one of the guys that attended
that first class becomes a friend. It's probably the most magnetic period of my life where I'm
just talking about this ambition and what happens is not just my co-founder
and I but six people, many of whom I'd met in the last two months, quit their
jobs, quit their schools and agree that we're gonna move to Brazil in August of
2013. How did Brazil specifically become the dream? One, it's got great PR.
Had never been it. There's just this sense that Rio is this romantic,
beautiful beach city vibe. And when my company let me go from that contractor
role, I immediately said, okay, what's the upside of this? So I booked a flight to
Brazil and met a friend who is traveling. And I spent five weeks in Floripa and one week in Rio.
And in that week in Rio, my friend had gone home.
I was alone.
And it was these experiences of being alone in a hostel,
not knowing anybody, that uncomfortable feeling of like,
I wanna go home, I want my friends, I want my thus,
whatever.
But I stepped outside of myself,
went to a co-working space, met a guy.
He invited me to stay with him.
And I had one of those travel magical adventures
that culminated in meeting a beautiful Brazilian girl
and having this fling that lasted a few days
and she came and visited and...
I knew that had to figure in somehow.
So, you know, had that romantic experience
of I showed up feeling empty and then I walked away with abundance
and feeling wonderful.
Whirlwind transformation of a trip.
So it's like that's where I wanna be.
So six other people quit all their stuff,
school, job, whatever it might be, okay?
Well there's 10 total, six who lived together
and then four who lived in other places.
All right.
Like in the same city.
And then what happens?
So we get there, nobody speaks Portuguese, I speak Spanish and I'm negotiating rent,
looking for a four bedroom where I can take, they have mates quarters in a lot of these
places so I have the tiny room because that's what I can afford.
But anyway, we settle into a life in Brazil and my Spanish is converting to Portuguese
as quickly as I can.
And we are living it, we're there.
It is the thing.
We are going to the beach, throwing the American football,
making friends.
We've got a whiteboard every day.
There's four questions.
Did you do the social stretch that you wanted to do?
Whether that's make a friend,
speak to a woman you're attracted to,
be kinder to the guy who serves you acai,
whatever it is, there was a social stretch.
Did you do your business stretch?
Did you do your health stretch?
And there was one more thing,
which is like, did you do your own personal thing?
For some people it was reach out to a family member.
For some people it was learn the guitar.
So it was like four things,
we had this running whiteboard of who had done
their growth thing that they need to do.
That's cool, I like that.
Yeah. And it was a really encouraging growth. If you tried and failed, it was high fives all around
for that year was just amazing. She didn't want to talk to you. So cool. Like, welcome back into the
fold. You are welcome here. So we're doing that. And from a business perspective, so now all my
income is gone because it was all the thing and then it was
in person coaching. One or two people agree to switch to online
coaching, but it's not enough. And so for a period, the blog
becomes online coaching, which is actually nicer because now
instead of just going to a bar and speaking about, did you talk
to the girl what to say it's people that are calling in with questions about workplace scenarios. And so I'm, you
know, I'm speaking to guys older than me using Tony Robbins principles, essentially to answer
questions about experiences that I've only barely had, but it's helpful because it's
this Tony Robbins transformation process that I'm helping with and using. So that becomes a thing.
And after months of doing in-person coaching,
and there's a whole learning the sales process
and being able to ask for money.
These are all intermediate steps that had to happen.
I'll tell you a story about Tucker Max in here as well,
but I'll tell it now.
No time like the present.
Almost never boring.
Yeah, never boring.
So at the time there's this program,
I think it was called Clarity or something,
where you could pay people per minute for advice,
and they would get on the phone with you,
and I don't know what Tucker was,
15 or 22 per minute or something like that.
I don't remember exactly.
And so said I had no money.
I was like, okay, 200 bucks,
let's get this done in whatever, eight minutes, 12 minutes.
So call him up, say, hey, can you help?
We're having trouble getting customers.
Can you take a look at our business?
What do you recommend?
And he goes and he goes onto our homepage.
It's called kickassacademy.com.
It's me and my co-founder.
He's got hair down to his shoulders
and he's wearing like a pink tank top.
And I've got a neon green pink top and frizzy hair.
And he says, you guys look like douchebags.
No one over the age of 26
is gonna wanna associate with this.
It was so this. It was
so true. It wasn't packaged in a very digestible way, but in time as I started to, you know, get
other points of feedback, I was able to integrate that. And there was a transition from, oh wow,
what I realized is all the guys who would come with me, they were like, one of them was the
captain of the Princeton football team when he was at Princeton. Like these were successful, cool dudes. But they all
had this thing was like, they didn't really want it to be public that they were learning
this kind of a thing. And so we talked to him, we're like, you like us, but you don't
want anyone to know what's going on. And we learned that, yeah, you know, I do want to
get better in my relationships and learn how to talk to women, but I don't want to broadcast
it that way, essentially.
And I also care about work
and I also care about friendships.
And so we did a bunch of interviews
and I started tracking like,
what word are you comfortable with?
Like what's the 10 out of 10 word that you're down for?
And I had a long list.
It was lifestyle design, confidence,
and charisma came back as like a nine or a 9.5 out of 10.
And so I'm going through this marketing course,
Eben Pagan's marketing step-by-step,
oldie but a greatie, excellent.
Yeah, Eben's smart fella for a long time
has been a smart fella.
Oh yeah, and he's got this line that the name
of your company is the most important marketing decision
you will ever make.
And I realized that when I say Kick Ass Academy to people,
they think it's a dojo
where you're gonna learn how to fight.
And so through this process,
Eben also says you want an alliteration
that sticks in the head.
He loves alliteration.
Yeah.
David D'Angelo, double your dating.
Double your dating, right?
And so I've got alliteration, charisma.
The thing that they want is they want to walk into a room
and feel like they do with their best friends.
They want to feel comfortable, calm, collected,
like they want to just be able to turn it on.
And so we're brainstorming and charisma on command comes in.
Switch the name of the blog, screw up the redirect,
so we lose all of our Google Jews, whatever.
But very quickly, conversions, just nothing has changed
and we start converting way better as a result of this.
And this is converting to online coaching?
This is at this point, I forget exactly where we are,
but there's just more interest.
People are commenting, like every metric of engagement
is up and the type of person.
Just with the rebrand.
Just with the rebrand and we the rebranded, we took the
long hair down a little bit and made it a little bit. Okay, here we are. But we put
on like a t shirt instead of a 1980s Miami vice. Exactly. Exactly. Let me sprinkle in
just a little context on a few things you've said. So one is Tucker max for people who
don't know the name. He wrote a number of books.
I believe his first mega bestseller was, I hope they serve beer in hell.
And he was the first person, actually, I would say the only person in early 2007.
I approached Tucker Max, who was part of a panel at South by Southwest.
And I was like, okay, there's this long line of people. I already know Tucker's pretty prickly, can
be, and very direct. And I somehow heard through the grapevine that he was interested in jujitsu
or something like that. And at the time I had been doing a lot of training. So when
I got up there, I was like, Oh, have you ever trained with and so or so. And I use that as a wedge in. And he agreed to have coffee or lunch. I can't remember what it was. One of the two. And I gave
him a early galley copy of the four hour work week. And a day later or two days later, whenever we
actually met up in person, he came in and he had a research assistant who is named Ryan Holiday,
who later went on to become a mega bestselling author,
actually one of his books behind me somewhere here. And Tucker said, okay, let me explain
what's going to happen. And he's like, I can't prepare you for it because nobody can prepare
you for it. And he just went step by step and basically predicted the next year of my
life. He's the only one who did that. Now, Tucker at the time also was, I think,
rightly considered a marketing genius
and very good at promotion and positioning.
Had, at the time, a massive community,
which I believe was based on V Bulletin
or something like that.
So his vote of confidence,
maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy on some level,
but that's just a snapshot of Tucker. So his vote of confidence, maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy on some level, but
that's just a snapshot of Tucker.
Then you also mentioned interviewing people.
And I want to emphasize that interviewing various folks because the thing that doesn't
scale in the beginning often helps you to scale later.
And for people interested in how, for instance, like Brian Chesky and the founders of Airbnb applied that, one of the very early Masters of Scale
podcast episodes has one talking about doing the things that don't scale. And that led
to the rebrand, at least on some level, right?
Oh, 100%.
You change the positioning and the branding, charisma on command, and everything improves, right?
All the metrics of the website improve.
And in the meantime though,
you are still in the servants quarters in Brazil.
Yeah, I'm in the servants quarters.
At this point I contact the HR lady at my old company
and I go, hey, we had a 401k, right?
She's like, yeah, I was like, can you drain that for me?
Like, she's like, that's gonna come with a penalty.
I was like, don't worry, I have no income.
My taxes won't be too much, I'll just pay the penalty.
So I hit zero and then I get a little infusion of cash
and I'm about to hit zero again.
I'm going to broke.
I am air being my bedroom, sleeping on a horrible couch.
I am teaching SAT tutoring to Brazilian high schoolers.
I'm still doing the mitigation strategies
in order to make things work.
And in your mind at that time, if you remember,
like what is your goal?
I have it.
Okay.
I am living it.
This is the beautiful thing is I was reflecting.
It was really wonderful.
Thank you for having me.
It was such a cool opportunity to reflect on this.
And I was like, I had it.
That was it.
I was broke and I was living it.
And I got a tattoo right before this.
It's a paraphrase, it's right here.
I don't need to flash the audience,
but it's a paraphrase of Thucydides that is,
the secret to freedom is courage.
And he also says the secret to happiness is freedom.
It's a paraphrase essentially of,
I think a quote in the Peloponnesian War.
And I was so happy,
so broke, so unable to feed myself. And I have tried to remind myself of that is the
secret. It's just like when you step into it and you're living it, nothing more needed
to happen. I would have liked the business to do well and it eventually did, but I was
there. So at this time, I'm getting everything that I want in a degree but also I'm
running out of money and I'm planning airline points to get back home. So what
happens is we get this course it's from Clay Collins and it's about pre-selling
an online course and at the point I've done so much coaching that I'm actually
getting tired of saying the same types of things over and over again now. Now
it's just happening via Skype at the time.
At the same time, you got to workshop your material.
So each stage is important.
So I'm dialing it in until I get bored of like,
okay, this is what works,
this is what creates transformation,
but now my role is just robotic at this point.
It's not as dynamic as I'd like it to be.
So given that I can do it once and be done,
maybe I should just make an online course. Thank God for this pre-selling thing though, because it runs you through this
process. This time I've been posting on the blog, I think we have 5,000 people on the email list,
and I follow this template, which is something like, hey guys, I was about to go into a cave
and make this online course, and I remembered that that's stupid because I'm making it for you
So before I sit down to record it, I just want to know what is the biggest problem you're facing related to charisma
If you reply to me, I'm gonna make the whole course
But I'm gonna make a piece of it for free that I'm just gonna give everyone who replies
So they come in they give me all their answers step two
You take all of those things you bucket them and categorize them,
and you put them into like radio buttons ranking things and one of those survey monkeys, whatever
you want. Say, hey guys, thank you so much for writing in. I think I have the top things. If
you would just vote on which one you most want me to actually make the free piece on, that would
help me to decide which piece to make for you. So then I get back and the first thing it was
how to make an amazing first impression,
how to feel unshakably confident, how to have a conversation that flows effortlessly, how
to tell great stories, how to have body language that's magnetic and how to be a good leader.
And in that order is what they ranked them, you know, number one, first impression, number
two, confidence.
So I get this.
And they just gave me the outline of my course in addition to all of the specific phrases
questions things that well need to be answered so i say hey guys i'm making a course it's going to
cover these things first impressions how to be unshakably competent effortless you know all this
stuff it's going to sell for eventually i think i started it at 800 we lowered to 600 but it's
going to sell for 800 bucks you can get it it for $500, but here's the catch.
One, you're going to have to do a one-on-one call with me, right?
Which is exactly what they want to do.
Two, there's going to be group interaction throughout the whole time.
And three, I really want your feedback throughout the course so that I'm building it exactly
to be what you want.
And so we offer 25 seats like this, and that's the most money.
We make $12,500.
We sell out.
People are stoked.
And for us, it's, oh, wow, I was going to make this course.
And what I learned now each week, I get on a call, I talk to several people one-on-one,
and I develop the content that I then send to them, and they give their questions.
And it's this iterative interactive thing over six weeks.
And they, with their questions, completely reshape the course I thought I was going to make.
I thought I was going to make a course about all these advanced tips and tricks and of
course if you've done something for a while you always overlook the beginning phases,
you overlook the fear, you overlook all of those things.
So we focus way more on getting through that.
And the course as a result is tailored
to where my average audience member is, right? The guys that I wanted to work with that I'd
started filtering by calling the company Charisma on Command. And I have all these surveys that
have language that then become the sales page on the back end. So like, do you want to walk
into a room and be the guy that people instantly notice and that they're drawn to magnetically?
Like that's phrases that they wrote in their descriptions of what they were asking for
and wanted.
So on the back end of this, I have my outline, I have my course, I've gone through it.
And so now I can go record this thing and offer it on the website.
So all of a sudden these blog posts which had nothing to sell to have something to
sell to. So now like actual money can start coming into the business while I sleep. So we're selling
this course, we're getting, you know, one a day or one every other day. That's going to pay for your
servant's quarters rent at the very least. Yeah. And yes, correct. For sure. And much more at that,
even at that rate. Yeah. So my $450 a month rent becomes affordable, right?
I don't have to Airbnb my bed.
And at this point, we pop back, we go to Las Vegas,
we're flipping when summer hits the Northern hemisphere,
we go home, when it hits Brazil, we go back to Brazil.
And so we're just like chasing summer,
basically in six to eight months increments,
Vegas, Brazil, Vancouver, Brazil, Colombia
Where are you from originally?
Pennsylvania didn't go back
Okay, so how did you choose Vegas we exit Brazil the first time right before the World Cup great opportunity to Airbnb the last month
The rent gets some money coming in is it was great. And so go back to Pennsylvania because I need a car.
That's where I've left my car and plan to drive out to Los Angeles, drive across the
country in three days, spend one night in Vegas. I like that was a lot of fun. Avicii
played at XS. Let's try it again. Say two nights, say three nights. Stayed there for
10 months. I don't know a year. It was good food. It was really fun. We were at the time
really enjoying going out. We were able to meet and talk to people
and do the whole song and dance.
And so we wound up getting off campus student housing,
which is the only place that had like four cheap bedrooms
in Vegas for a year outside of UNLV
and we're in Vegas for that period.
So it just stayed.
I'm curious, what was the durability of that first course or the
learnings in that first course? Yeah. In other words, how much of an annuity has
that been, whether it's or was it in revenue or just in terms of core pieces
of curriculum? I mean numbers over 10 million for sure. So I've re-recorded it
and I've gotten a little bit better background and you know,
they fixed the sound and one time I was traveling and so there was a new place every time.
So I've re-recorded it four times and I've tried to change pieces that I didn't like,
but that structure remains.
The sales page remains with minor tweaks.
It's not great, but it has been almost 10 years, if not 10 years at this point.
That's incredible. Yeah, amazing.
And it's because it's incredible. Yeah, amazing.
And it's because it's like, the problems are very similar.
They had people have questions about Zoom or texting,
but it was built off of core human problems
that are durable and addressable.
And interestingly, the refund rate has not changed
over the time.
Like it doesn't seem to be working less
for the people who buy it and apply it. There's still a sizable refund rate because it's a go at your own pace online
course and we have a very flexible refund policy. It hasn't, hasn't increased. So I'd
like to record it again. Yeah. I'd love to do one more re-recording, but same thing,
keep it going. This is how I feel.
This is might seem like a small detail, but I'm sure folks will be interested. What platform or software do
you use to serve the course? What's the back end or maybe it's very explicitly through
some type of platform that provides this?
I'm sure there's better options now, but we've kind of got on. And so there's inertia. It's
just a WordPress with some plugins. There was a wishlist member plugin, which was caught
at the time and has, you know, since sort of been depreciated and so we're rolling off of
that. Samcart is the cart. It was one of the only carts at the time that let you
do payment plans. Now it's like everybody will let you do a payment plan but for
our needs those were the two. So it was a Samcart cart to a WordPress site with a
gated content thing that hooked into Sam Cart. Yeah, makes sense.
Yeah.
So the course starts working, at least to the extent that you just described it, which
was selling one a day or every other day.
You then get to Las Vegas.
When do things really start to ramp or when do things start to change?
So I can afford not main city US rent at this point.
I can live in Vegas, I can't live in New York,
I can't live in LA, that's where we're at.
At one point, I think it's when I'm in Columbia,
I had a list of like try LinkedIn, try Twitter,
and the third was try YouTube,
and I have that piece of paper somewhere,
it has a question mark.
YouTube, question mark?
Oh man, people would love to see that given the size of YouTube presence.
So YouTube question mark?
Yeah. And so I had no idea.
So I post on LinkedIn, I post on Twitter and I put a video on YouTube.
Now, to be fair, I put several videos on one YouTube channel
that was me on the beach in Rio with the wind whipping past the lapel mic.
And just that didn't get any views.
But I do one video on YouTube that is me analyzing a Bill Clinton debate,
and it was like one of those community debates where he approaches an audience member,
and I talked about the power of his eye contact in that video.
And I didn't look at it for six months.
One day I found that piece of paper, I was like,
I should review to see how these things did. And I go to LinkedIn and I've got nobody's followed me, and I go to look at it for six months. One day I found that piece of paper, I was like, I should review to see how these things did.
And I go to LinkedIn and I've got nobody's followed me
and I go to Twitter, nobody cares.
And on YouTube, there's a hundred thousand views
and I have like 7,000 subscribers or 3000,
something like on this YouTube channel
and I haven't even looked at it.
That was mind bending and I had no call to action.
So it had no way to hit me other than I had to like log
into the YouTube platform, which I hadn't done so I think it was 2016 I did a few videos
at the end of 2015 but by 2016 I made the commitment that once a week every
week I would release one YouTube video and the first ones this was I'd read
essentialism and it was like just do the thing great book amazing like McEwen so
good so good read it read it four times need to read it again
Yeah, I have a piece of artwork downstairs in this house that Greg McEwen recommended to me called the listener people can check it out
It's a great reminder, but not to interrupt. So you read essentialism excellent book. I recommend it as well
He's got one story about herbie that stuck with me so long. I'm setting up to do these YouTube videos once a week and they're tedious
and I don't like doing them and I don't want to and I read reading essentialism
he tells a story about a Boy Scout troop that was taking a hike and they're
trying to get to their destination but they've got one little bit of a pudgy
guy named Herbie and he's having a hard time with his pack and they're falling
behind schedule so they don't know what to do. Herbie's slow he's having a hard time with his pack and they're falling behind schedule.
So they don't know what to do.
Herbie's slow.
He's holding up the whole line.
He's slow.
And so nobody can go.
So they realize that if they take Herbie's pack and they redistribute it amongst some
of the adults and the kids that can handle it, the whole troop is able to go double time
and get to where they need to do and get back on time.
So the question is, is there one friction point in your process that makes the thing unfun or miserable?
And can you spend whatever money or do whatever you need to do to stop this?
So the breakthrough was I hated setting up the camera and so I didn't do it immediately,
but the next place that we got, I said it must have an extra bedroom.
I don't care. I will pay for the extra bedroom.
I need to be able to leave this camera up." And oh my God, that changed it. It was like being able to walk
in press play and do it versus 15 minutes of focus. Oh my God, it was terrible. That
was a breakthrough.
Yeah. The Herbie parable, I believe, originated in manufacturing, specifically when you have like a serial or a linear production process,
where if there's a machine in the middle
or a lack of inventory at point X
that causes that type of slowdown,
you need to figure it out, AKA herby.
But it can be applied to so many different things.
And in your case, video production.
Yeah, I love watching your work
because you so often remind me
that there's emotional Herbie's of like,
I don't enjoy this, so I don't wanna do it.
And so the question of what if this were 10 times enjoyable?
What if I had to have fun doing this?
Those are always the Herbie's for me.
It's always, I don't like this thing.
It's okay, what if you were only allowed to do
the thing that you like?
It's like, oh, well then I'd do a lot more of it
and I could see some results.
So we start making these YouTube videos. I do a big one at the beginning that is in
January of maybe 2016. I do a video that says, I think Donald Trump's going to be the president.
Here's why. You know, I'm watching his debates. Scott Adams is before me on this,
but I'm watching debates. I see the same thing that starts to pick up
other videos are going I'm analyzing Conor McGregor and I would think it was from it was January or
February or March of that year the business tripled and I think it tripled again within like two
months and is that due to the success of that video of the videos I got a cumulative video yes
so I'm doing Donald Trump, Conor McGregor,
taking Game of Thrones characters.
We can talk about fame jacking if you want.
Yeah, let's talk about it.
Let me ask you intermediate question
just to interrupt my own trade of questioning,
which is how did your call to action or flow change?
Like did the funnel change
now that people are finding you on YouTube?
Yes.
Was it just a link in a description or how did the actual business funnel function?
So it's evolved and I'm going to take you up to present day to answer the question.
So at first it was, hey guys, if you like this, leave a comment, subscribe. I wasn't
thinking about it. So subscribers, which was okay, fine.
Then it was, okay, you need a tripwire.
And the idea in online marketing is that there's this low cost product that you want to get people onto your email list,
give them a taste of something, and then they can buy your low cost product, and then they'll buy your larger product.
So we set up this online funnel that was, by the way, if you like that video and you want to know how to make a great first impression, here's a free piece of content
that's like four minutes long on the basics of how to do it. You get that content, it's
four minutes of how to do it and then it's one minute of, hey, do you want help implementing
this by a section of this larger charisma university course? And then when you're in
that at the end of that, okay, so now you know how to make a great first impression.
Do you want to know all this other stuff? So it's standard online marketing. Give them a piece, offer them more. Give them another piece, offer them more. Solve a problem, offer them help with the next problem.
first impression was straight from the interviews and then the survey monkey rankings. Yes, correct.
Right?
Which is, for instance, even after writing five books, I have one in my mind that I would
like to work on sometime soon, but I think the way I'm going to approach it is actually
going back to the origins of the four-hour work week.
And I will maybe at a place like UT Austin in an entrepreneurship or business class to
workshop it, teach it for a semester.
And you learn really quickly what works
and what does not work.
Yeah.
When you have an audience,
whether it's the one-on-one interviews
and something that you collate and then rank
or having an audience who's unlikely to give you
kind of courtesy claps.
So TBD, but I asked you about the funnel, but what else would you like to
say about that? If anything, I didn't mean to interrupt.
No, no. Well, the funnel has evolved. I think it's worth saying that there's so many sacred
cows of everything online marketing. This is how you do it. What I've since seen is
that these videos without intending to be there's mini webinars or 10 minutes of content.
I don't need to take everybody through this multi-step funnel, here's a small thing.
So what we started doing, a breakthrough a few years later was just, do you want to buy
our $600 course?
Here's some testimonials.
And so that was a four accident conversions of just being like, everyone who's watched
our videos has at this point watched 10 of them and they don't need to be drip fed this
thing.
They need to be offered,
jab, jab, jab, that Gary Vaynerchuk calls it, right hook.
It's like, dude, we've been jabbing for years at this point.
Like offer them the product,
don't offer them the email list.
So that was a huge, huge increase to our thing
was when I realized,
oh, we've been just giving value consistently.
We don't need to do the same game
that somebody who's doing paid ads would do who is just totally cold traffic and you don't know them at all.
Yeah, if they walk into the Ferrari dealership, you're allowed to sell them a Ferrari.
You don't have to let them walk out with a brochure.
Yes, yes, yes, please.
Okay, we got them on our emails.
These are great leads.
Call them back.
Yes, so that was that.
The fame jacking was something that is worth mentioning, which is it's since changed, but
in order to get traction on some of these social media platforms, you need something
that hooks people and you're my face in front of a white wall, ain't it?
That's not going to fly for me.
So what we found was if I can comment on somebody that is known, Conor McGregor, Jon Snow from
Game of Thrones, how does Tyrion Lannister,
what sort of principles is he applying,
even though it's a work of fiction?
We were able to take a Game of Thrones fan,
and by the end of it, make them a Charisma on Command fan.
And so we were able to start fishing in all of these pools
that I was interested, like we were doing breakdowns
of the Marvel actors and why their interviews were so fun,
or like how come this viral moment
where Robert Downey Jr. gets in a T tiff with an interviewer what can you learn
about it so to call that fame jacking which is basically look there's someone
else who was famous you start with them on the thumbnail you speak to a broad
problem how to deal with a rude person and by the end they've become not just a
Robert Downey jr. fan but a charisma on command fan that was sort of the goal
and that helped a tremendous amount of growth.
You said it's changed.
Is that an algorithmic change?
Because I see that playbook being used a fair amount still on YouTube.
But how has the game changed?
What I see is that in short form content, there isn't the decision to click.
There is only what captures attention.
And so there's many things that capture attention.
One is Robert Downey Jr., a guy who you know, but another is, can you walk up these sticky
stairs on Mr. Beast thing or like what it looks like to run with $10,000.
So you actually don't have to sell the click on the short form content in the same way.
And just the meta people have realized,
I think this is what's beautiful about YouTube.
There's these incredible titles that are like,
I went to every state's Airbnb,
or I sat in a circle for 36 hours,
or I gave a homeless man 10K.
At the time in YouTube, it was still kind of,
there was this sacred cow belief that it had to look like
what you titled a blog article. How to do something in seven steps, like, you know, six things, listicle blog titles.
And I think YouTube has started to really find its own formatting identity,
which is not what had traditionally worked with blogs.
And maybe blogs will start picking it up from YouTube.
But I see that you don't need to do fame jacking in order to succeed in the same way.
There's many other avenues in order to do it.
I want to touch on maybe a few expansions of that just briefly for folks so you might
recall back in the day this is let's just say maybe even pre Eben pagan and so on if
you were to look at different types of online marketing, a standard operating procedure was long sales
letters with lots of yellow highlights. And that was how you did it. Period. That was
the scripture of online marketing. But lo and behold, that isn't the only way to do
things. And in fact, you can approach it completely differently. Now, if you go through almost any website now
that sells software as a service,
you'll see somewhere on the product comparison
or on the checkout portion
when you're selecting features or plans,
they'll have three options.
The middle will say most popular.
There's a very cheap one
with half the features you need. There's a super
expensive one that only 2% are ever going to consider. And then
there's most popular in the middle. And while the
presentation changes, I would say there are a few takeaways.
Number one is you can always experiment and break the rules.
Number two is there are certain things that don't tend to change that much.
So you can still look at caples on advertising for copy editing.
You can look at old print advertisements from Ogilvy.
You can read, for instance, influence.
So there are certain things you can study.
Like if drawing is learning
how to see, sure, you might have a crayon, a pencil, a paintbrush, a piece of charcoal,
but those are tools that can be adapted based on certain base principles. Then you can feel
free once you have an understanding of some of these core fundamental concepts, then you
can experiment your heart's content, right? And you can start to break stuff. I don't
know. I mean, a lot of it because platforms have so much value capture and are so powerful
now. I mean, if they do decide they want to promote X, Y, or Z, and they have a template
for making you conform to that, then I would imagine there's a decent amount of pressure to be pushed in that direction. Lest your videos or tweets, whatever tweet
is called on X or whatever it might be, doesn't get the distribution that you would like.
Now you mentioned shorts or shorter clips not needing maybe the type of cell to be watched ostensibly because of shorter
duration do you see much of a conversion from shorter clips to viewing of longer
clips or subscribers I don't know which metric is the one that matters but I'm
curious we ran a little experiment I have not put a lot of energy into shorts
because the answer was there's a couple of things.
To your first point, I'm gonna come to shorts.
With all of those Ogilvy's, whatever,
what I've found is that if you take
the tried and true ways of doing it
and you run it through your own value system
and you don't allow for things
that don't align with yourself.
So just give you a, for instance,
we used to do discounts
because that's what you do.
You do a discount.
And I got an email from a guy who was like, hey, I love your stuff, but like last week
my friend who didn't buy your thing and was on your email list for 30 days got offered
this thing for $400 and I bought it immediately for $600.
And I realized that we were in a way we were penalizing our most strident, ardent, willing
customers for not sitting on the fence
and offering discounts down the line.
So made the decision to chop off discounts.
It hurt the business by 20%.
But you get an audience of people that has a different degree of trust with you.
And so all of these rules, like you can win short term by doing a lot of different things.
You can do clickbait titles, you do all sorts of things, but you're establishing a relationship
with every business decision.
So I find that like running all of those things through the center is helpful.
So when it comes to shorts, one of them is I don't really like shorts.
I find that I've never really gotten tremendous amount of value from a short.
I've gotten value from YouTube videos, blog posts, videos, all sorts of things, but I
don't connect with them. So I haven't pushed shorts. We did a few experiments. And what I found for the
way that we do things is no, that we didn't see, we got a ton of subscribers, but we didn't
see a strong connection between long form and short form and purchases. I'm sure that
somebody else could make that happen. Even though that was the way the wave was going.
That's not the way that my wave breaks.
That was not a particular trend I was interested in.
Yeah, I think to date I would say,
and I'm sure my team would have additional thoughts,
but I don't think we've seen any correlation next to no impact whatsoever on short form success.
And by success, I mean,
some of our shorts have had a hundred million views.
And then the impact on the long form interview
that it was cut from, literally imperceptible.
You could not see an impact.
And yet it's like, well,
is that now a necessary survival slash distribution tactic?
I'm not qualified to say, but also do not feel compelled to focus on clips.
We do surface clips from longer interviews, but I do sometimes wonder if it's to the detriment
of the audience that I most like to cultivate, which is an audience who recognizes you cannot achieve any level
of mastery, nor can you retain anything effectively if all of your information is consumed in
10 second increments.
Not evolved to do it doesn't work that way.
I totally agree.
I'm so curious for you.
What do you want from the podcast these days?
Like, because it seems to me and I'm sure you've had this many times,
like, look, I've done it.
I've got, I'm safe.
I can survive with the money that I have.
What is success for you at this point?
Well, the podcast, you know, I've thought,
especially with the 10 year anniversary, not too long ago,
and hitting some major milestones
in terms of total downloads and listens and so on.
I thought, well, if I were gonna pack up my tent
and move on, this would be a decent time to do it.
However, I suppose for myself, I just realized,
well, even if I weren't recording conversations,
I would still be having these conversations.
And therefore, for the cost of a microphone and using an online service to record a podcast
with some basic, I mean, it's not fancy lighting as anyone can tell if they're watching me
right now.
But for the minimal cost of production, especially when you consider that a lot of these conversations
I would be having would be via Zoom or
FaceTime video I might be walking around outside
Having this conversation, but I could also have a headset on where I'm recording so that the the lifestyle
Inconvenience to me of recording the conversations. I would have otherwise is close to zero and I would say success is having thought-provoking conversations. Ideally,
I learn something or feel something from those conversations, maybe both. And then I get
to share them because the origin of the podcast, I mean, it's easy for me to forget, but I
mean, there are a lot of factors that contributed to it in 2014. But one of them was, I was living in the Bay Area in San Francisco at the time, and I was
having the most incredible conversations with brilliant people.
At least people I thought were brilliant, the density of intelligence there so high.
I mean, there are a lot of issues as well, but it just seems like such a shame,
not too dissimilar. I mean, it's slightly different, but it's closer than people might
realize where it's like you're doing the one-on-one coaching and say, yeah, it's good to help
one person. But then if I want to convey this to a second person, let alone like 200 people,
I have to repeat it. And for me, these conversations were like sand through the fingers right that I could not in any way
Convey to someone else I was like well
Let me just try to record some of these which is why the first 10 to 15 were with friends of mine also
To make the lift as light as possible, and I feel like I would definitely miss
Recording because I would let's just say I quit the podcast today.
Next week I would have an amazing conversation with someone
and I'd be like, God damn it.
I'd be like, you know, it's so selfish of me
not to just click record on an iPhone
with a half decent headset to record this thing
because fuck, you know, it's a real privilege
to have access to the network that I have access to. And which doesn't mean, by the
way, that everyone's gonna know every person I talked to, I
prefer strongly if they don't. But the success to me right now
is it's it's honestly scratching my own itch. It's like, for
instance, I mean, I'm thinking of potentially compiling a
whole lot of four-hour workweek related
case studies because very early, very early in my entrepreneurial journey, and I'm not
recommending people go buy this book.
I think it's out of print anyway, but Entrepreneur Magazine had this book called Young Millionaires.
And it was like two to three pages profile of each young millionaire,
which meant somewhere between 20 and 35, I suppose.
And it was like, how much it costs to start the business?
Like $200, you know, how much they made
last year in revenue, next year estimated revenue,
type of business.
And it ranged from like pest control
to crime scene cleanup. Oh scene cleanup to, yeah, pretty
gnarly to cosmetics to forestry. It was like the range and scope was so inspiring to me that the
magic of that and the impact that it had on my psyche, I didn't take it and apply it right away.
I was too young, but seeing that it was possible has made me I didn't take it and apply it right away. I was too young.
But seeing that it was possible has made me think about assembling, you know, effectively
a book that would be like the wow. Oh, I love that. I love that. Right. I got chills. I
love that. Oh my God. Because with the four hour work week, it's like in the beginning
and even now, understandably with a title like that, people are like, yeah, bullshit, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Like you work more than four hours a week.
I'm like, I'm not just going to like, I'm not just going to lay outside staring at the
grass rubbing cocoa butter on my stomach.
I like building things and I like having these kinds of conversations, but there are so many
other types of pushback in the early stages.
Keeping in mind, I've revised the four hour workweek,
but the last time I did it was 2009. And the principles really apply the frameworks still
all apply the technology for almost all outdated, but that doesn't matter. If you grasp the
principles and you can find the methods, but a lot of the types of pushback that people
would say, Oh, well, it's easy
for a single guy. Like I'm a single mom, or I have four kids, or I'm in a different country,
or I'm in this struggling economy or fill in the blank for every possible excuse that
I have heard. I have received a case study from someone who fits that exact profile, who figured it
out. So the idea that I could collect those in some fashion in a compendium just seems
a like, it'd be so much fun and so gratifying for me after almost 20 years of this book
being out. And therefore, as always, us having this conversation is a way for me to feel into that.
And to be like, okay, what aspects of this,
like you said, when I mentioned the book that chills,
okay, what pieces of it, I'm like,
okay, I get an extra big smile.
So big that my earpiece keeps falling out.
I also have, I have swimmer's ears,
so my canal's on my right ear, so it just keeps falling out. I also have, I have swimmers ears, so my canals are on my right ear,
so it just keeps falling out.
But that's a very long answer to your question,
but success for me with the podcast
is just recording conversations
that I would want to have anyway.
Which, for a successful podcast
is maybe harder than people would realize.
So hard. Because if you want to protect traction, distribution, and audience size, and ideally grow it,
that is more and more every day being dictated by platforms
with priorities that are not the same as your priorities.
And if you really double click on that, look at it,
study audience capture as well,
almost every financial incentive would push you
to break that rule and choose guests based on
the number of Oprah moments or salacious clips you can pull from an interview that you can then use on the platforms to drive
some type of growth engine. Although growth for what end is an open question. A lot of
people make YouTube work, but in my particular case, I'm just not really video first. So it's never been particularly strong performing
compared to audio.
It requires constant revisitation
to instill the habit of me only having conversations
with people I would want to have a conversation with.
Yep.
Right?
Because- Oh my God.
Yeah.
Because if I could have like on some completely off-the-wall
lawmaker or I could have on who knows, I could step on a bunch of third rails politically speaking,
right? I could pull from current events and light off some audio and video dynamite with talking
about the Middle East. There are many things that I could do which would get a lot more attention
talking about the Middle East, there are many things that I could do which would get a lot more attention than me finding like a Japanese sword maker who no one has ever heard of.
But when you start to put on a mask, adopting practices that are not of your own invention,
but because you're complying with incentives, the concern is not that it just ends up hollowing you out inside because that can happen.
The risk is that you actually become the mask you're wearing and that those behaviors change
how you think and change your own beliefs, which I think is inevitable on some level.
So in any case, that's probably more than either of us bargained for.
No. Oh goodness. level. So in any case, that's probably more than either of us bargained for.
No. Oh goodness. I've wrestled with this endlessly and I absolutely hit a period where I felt like, to a degree, I allowed that audience. So at first it was, I wanted to make this video. I think what
Bill Clinton does with his eyes is so fascinating. I think it's so interesting that Donald Trump is
probably going to be president and like, I love Game of Thrones. And then it was, well, you guys want more Game of Thrones videos, let me do another Game of Thrones
character. You know, like, well, you guys really like that one. And what you're describing to me
is not just a business struggle, it is a legitimate emotional spiritual struggle to be like, do I choose
myself in the face of the world offering me all of this temptation to be something else?
face of the world offering me all of this temptation to be something else. And there were periods where the answer to that is I compromised.
And it's like, you know, I didn't kill anyone or do anything, but I made the video that
I didn't really want to make and it did really well.
And then, okay, well, I've got to make another one.
And I burned out.
I had to step away for years and didn't make videos for years because I believed that I
hated making videos.
And what I learned was that I hated losing my creative well as I chased approval and
views and more.
So let's talk about the timeline on that.
You are, let's see, let me see if these are lining up.
So you're in Vegas, you begin to make these videos, which you enjoyed making about Bill
Clinton, about, I suppose Bill Clinton came maybe even prior to that, but using, to use
your term, fame jacking.
So Jon Snow, real characters or otherwise, Keanu Reeves, maybe Keanu Reeves came later.
But in any case, those videos start to do very well.
You realize that you can offer the higher priced products upfront or reasonably soon with testimonials
and you get conversion. You don't have to lead someone through a 12 step process.
And I suppose what I'm wondering is what is the trajectory look like from there and how long was it before you decided,
I just can't do this, I need to take a break?
It's so funny, you know this, there's two lines.
There's the line of when you've created the value,
which is like, I created the value
sleeping on the couch in Brazil.
And then there's the line of when the money starts coming in.
And so there's a delay.
So you're creating the value
and then the money comes in later. But there's also a delay. So you're creating the value and then the money comes in later.
But there's also a delay on the backside,
which is you stop creating the value
but the money keeps going up.
And this is every cash cow business,
that starts cannibalizing itself
and not treating customers well,
but is still when Marvel makes the next sequel
to Marvel movie and it does well
and they don't realize that they're eating their own future.
So I would say the flip for me was 2018 to when it shifted from I personally
want to make these videos and I'm excited and I'm learning something in every video
to oh I've learned what makes them clap and now I want more claps. I want more clapping.
The money was secondary but it's like oh they like it they love me. Right? Every video bigger.
So that was a few years after starting the channel at that point?
Yes, and I'd been doing it weekly.
There was an authentic drive to do it weekly that's then slowly shifted
and it became, I don't want to do this.
And then it was, I definitely can't do this.
And I, at the time, so many other things were going on in my life.
We can go into it or not.
But there was a moment probably in 2018 where
I needed to have a conversation with my co-founder that said, hey, I think we're no longer in alignment
with this business. Like I've been driving the growth with these videos, your projects have not
succeeded in the same way, not for the sake of money, but for the sake of honesty. We have to
have a talk about our 50-50 split. But money was never the drive.
The drive was always be with my friends in Brazil.
And so I didn't care, but there was a,
as my own inability to have sincere authentic conflict
crept in to the business, it cascaded downwards.
So I'm avoiding having a difficult conversation
with my co-founder.
We hire somebody else to cover that up.
Turns out years later that we hire somebody who fabricated a bunch of stuff
and stole money from the business.
And all of it was just from this core pattern of not wanting to face the problem
and just wanting to squint at it and say, everything's good.
You know, every like the money's coming in, people like it, et cetera.
And so what happened was, and again, I was so happy, broke in Brazil, sleeping on the
ground, unable to afford food.
And then I had the experience, the cliched one of I've made more money than I've ever
made.
Everybody wants more.
They think it's all great.
And I feel like shit.
I feel awful.
And then I have a breakup right before my 30th birthday
and I'm gonna collapse some things.
We can go into anything.
I am invited to an ayahuasca retreat.
I have been having these issues that have not surfaced.
I don't smoke weed, I don't drink.
I'm a straight edge, but fuck it.
I'll give it a try.
I go head first into this ayahuasca experience
with no idea what's coming.
And that starts what has now been a seven-year process of completely turning my life upside
down and having to face everything that I hadn't looked at, which was of course these
things in the business, but even more importantly, the patterns of avoidance and people pleasing
and seeking that had been birthed in my childhood.
And so happy to touch on all of that.
I know it's a broad spanning.
Yeah, no, there's we could spend probably two hours on six different facets of that.
Let's start with coming back to the secret to freedom is courage, right?
Like was there a catalyzing event?
Was there a book you read?
How did you go from squinting at the problem? Because this is, I would say
shockingly common, but it's not shocking because I see it so often. Co-founder challenges,
co-founder splits, these happen all the time. And when you have, it's particularly challenging
in a situation where you have some accepted 50-50 division
because there's no real tiebreaker.
It gets even more complicated when you have like governance
and board of directors and all that kind of stuff.
But I mean, almost no relationship is 50-50.
And actually-
It would be weird if it was.
It'd be so weird.
And actually that clip I mentioned
that got a hundred million plus views,
it was Brene Brown talking about how marriage is never 50-50.
And I would say the question for me
that I'm sure people are wondering is,
how did you go from the conflict avoidant
kind of people pleasing, maybe fear-based,
who knows, kind of squinting at the problem,
hiring people to try to paper it over, et cetera, et cetera,
to having whatever come to Jesus conversation, presumably you guys had.
Yeah.
How did that happen?
It took years and the catalyst was not the business because the sacred center of it for
me was never money.
It was the friendship.
And I was acting out a pattern to try to keep things good with us.
And he was doing his half of that pattern to keep things good in the way that we thought
to do it, which was, let's not address this.
And it was on me to address it because I was the one that was beginning to be frustrated,
resentful, subtly trying to influence, change, encourage, coach, you know, everything other
than say, this isn't working for me.
And how did I do that?
It was a multi-year process of facing brick by brick.
Those familial patterns of like, I'm afraid you won't love me.
If I say that I'm upset with you, like, I'm afraid that you won't love me.
If I take what I think is my fair share. I'm afraid that I'll be alone and I hear it in my voice, like, that I still carry that
in me.
And if you look at the business, charisma on command, even like the how to make Tim
like you in a conversation, how to make somebody like there is this founding belief that if
I could just communicate clearly enough, do more, say more, be more, that connection
would just happen.
How did you decide it was time?
Right?
Like what did it look like to go from doing the work with all these modalities to, all
right, game time.
Oh, God.
To have the conversation.
Again, it was pieces.
It was first, it was oblique conversations.
Like, hey, I'm not feeling, this isn't feeling great.
And then seeing what I got back and then it was more confrontational.
And the essential problem was I did not know how to have a boundary and tried to negotiate
boundaries endlessly with people that I loved instead of saying, I love you, but like past
this line is not okay with me and I will not comply.
It was, well, can't you see why that would be fair for me to have this perspective?
So if there was a shift, it was the big thing that happened was over these years, I had
started to develop a therapeutic relationship with a therapist and a number of friendships
where I was being met in ways that I did not think were possible. And to not use therapy
language, like I felt that people wanted to hear the ways
in which I was upset with them or angry,
and wanted to repair in ways that actually
didn't just paper over the problem, but felt good.
And when I brought that possibility,
I was like, holy shit, this can happen?
Let me bring myself.
That was not the result of my conversation
with my co-founder.
It did not go that way.
And knowing that it
existed now and then not getting it there made it like, okay, this is no longer working.
We need to separate. And so what happened was first it was with the friendship, but
secondarily with the business, it was tough for me to come back to, to say, I don't want
you to make videos anymore for the business. I don't feel that they're aligned with what
I want to say. I made videos for, I don't know, the first videos anymore for the business. I don't feel that they're aligned with what I want to say.
I made videos for, I don't know, the first three-ish years
and then got burned out.
I was like, will you please step in?
And always didn't wanna look at the videos.
You know, like whatever the money's coming in,
I don't wanna see.
And when I, I actually had to sit down
and literally watch them.
And not that there's anything objectively wrong with them,
but they weren't aligned with what felt right for me.
And I had completely abdicated that responsibility
of saying this doesn't feel good.
Confronting that, I felt so evil and awful and bad
for having that perspective.
Like I was being too cruel or too mean,
but I had become more grounded in
not saying that you shouldn't make videos ever,
I'm not saying that you shouldn't do this, but this doesn't work for me.
So we just paused literally making videos on the channel for one year.
Business starts to nosedive, right?
Like not immediately, but the videos don't get views forever.
Business falls off 20%, 30%, 50%.
And it was again, a question of like, which it wasn't a game.
It was, I just don't feel good about that.
And so through that process,
we were talking about the future of the business
and what I buy, what he sell,
we couldn't find an agreement on who would do what.
And I can talk about the negotiation if you want,
but we finally settled on,
I'm gonna buy the business all out.
I'll pay you for the piece. And you'll have no restrictions.
You can make any sort of content that you want
on any other channel, but this is going to go,
I'm going to take this, I'm going to give you cash.
And honestly, it's what both of us wanted.
I think the thing that we didn't acknowledge
is that we had fundamentally different drives,
whereas mine was more creative expression
and his was more financial security.
And that split, it's very tough.
It just doesn't align well when,
especially when what you said, I did not feel,
he has a different opinion, that we were equally
contributing to the financial success of the business.
So yeah, it was harrowing, he, more importantly
than the business split was that it was my best friend
and we're not that anymore.
And so it was going through the wringer.
It was dark night of the soul type challenges.
So grateful for it and it was painful as hell to experience.
Yeah, I'm sorry you guys experienced that.
I would say that in theory, sometimes in practice,
if everything's going perfectly,
50-50 informally agreed upon,
sounds great, right?
But in practice, it can be very challenging.
And if you were to do this again,
if you were to partner with someone else,
let's just say that it actually made sense.
Someone came to you with a channel
with an equal number of subscribers,
they're like, hey, let's join forces,
I think we can 3X.
And let's just say that conformed with your artistic expression and what you
want to do.
I would imagine you would have some type of partnership agreement that can
function as a prenup in the sense that you would have termination clause,
right? Where it spells out what happens in the case of a split,
where it spells out what happens in the case of a split,
which is an area where also conflict avoidant folks get themselves into long-term trouble.
Not saying you, but like in general.
I've heard this mistake.
100% me.
100% me.
They get themselves into long-term trouble
because they want to avoid the short-term discomfort
of talking about the ingredients
that would go into such an agreement.
And man, oh man.
Yeah.
It can get really, really, really messy.
Like a pre-nup is always cleaner than a post-nup.
Yeah.
In business and in life.
Where do things stand now with the business?
So I'm making monthly payments to him.
We agreed to want to fix some that I would pay over a period of time.
I am sole owner and it's exactly what I want.
The business for me always has been the crucible of emotional growth.
Like from the moment where am I going to press publish on this thing to am I going to do private coaching or am I going to move to Brazil?
And it's always been the question of can you hold your center in the face of temptation not to.
And there's a long period where with my relationship with him, I lost it.
I lost my center and that's not his fault.
But God, it's so amazing.
I come back and I step into this audience capture moment where like I want to prove myself that I
still got it, that I can do it, except I don't want to make the old bangers that I used to.
I don't want to like throw fastballs down the middle
to the fat part of the bell curve any longer.
And so I'm facing continually the challenges
of letting go of my ego, of the guy who did it,
and having the business that is authentic to me.
And I have not sorted through it.
Even in preparation for this conversation, half of me wants to sit and dial in my story so that I'm perfect and I have not sorted through it. Even in preparation for this conversation,
half of me wants to sit and dial in my stories
so that I'm perfect and I nail it and I, you know,
hit that punchline.
And the other half of me is like, dude, going empty,
going, going, going empty.
Yeah, I like rough draft.
Yeah, rough draft, right?
More than like finished 60 minute comedy special on Netflix.
Exactly. Yeah, Ted talk. Welcome.
Yeah, I appreciate the vulnerability and the candor.
And I am going to ask you at some point,
I'm just going to plant the seed because I'll let it germinate a bit,
which is other critical decisions that you made in your entrepreneurial journey.
Could be anything could be anything
could be a tiny detail that ended up making a big difference could be anything at all
like other decisions or milestones that were really important i'll buy some time though
sure do you still recommend i've actually never read this book but six pillars of self-esteem by
nathaniel brandon so good now i haven't read it in maybe seven or eight years,
maybe longer, but if you do read it
and you're crunched for time,
you can skip to the chapters on the pillars.
He's got some preparation on what self-esteem is
and the history of it,
but if you haven't worked on your self-esteem at all,
it's the first stop to go to.
If you have more experience,
you might be more familiar with it.
And what should people expect to gain from this? How did you find this book in the first place? Goodness, that Tucker Max message board was a lot of the books that I, that was where I found the
game and it might have been Six Pillar Self-Esteem as well. I think it was through something like
that and I got into, you know, it's like a 1970s
Psychology personal development book, but it's perennial what people can expect
There's these exercises that people are discovering the power of which is sentence completions exercise
So it'll run you through each chapter and talk about how personal responsibility is a critical element of self-esteem or whatever
But then it has at the end it's got these sentence stems
self-esteem or whatever, but then it has at the end, it's got these sentence stems.
If I took 5% more responsibility for myself today blank,
and the idea is that you can write or speak just free,
like if I took 5% more responsibility for myself today,
I would eat healthy.
If I took 5% more responsibility for myself today,
I would call my parents and tell them that I love them.
Whatever it is that is honest for you in that thing.
And if you go through these, usually like the fifth, sixth, one, you're just like,
oh damn. And so some of them were, I would have talked to that girl at Whole Foods and it was,
ah crap. There was one, there was a woman who I dated who I had seen her and I went back and then
I did my pillars of self-esteem and I went, oh crap. And I walked back to Whole Foods and I said,
I had to talk to you. I went home and wrote my sentences.
And it was, if I had more courage,
if I had 5% more courage,
I would have asked you on a date.
And that became a relationship.
That's amazing.
Yeah, it's that sort of stuff.
She's a slow shopper.
No, no, she was, she worked at Whole Foods.
She was at the counter.
Yeah, yeah.
Was she wearing leg braces?
Or she's shopping for someone?
She was identifiable. She was easily trackable. Yeah, yeah. Was she wearing leg braces? Or she shopping for solos? She was identifiable.
She was easily trackable.
Got it, okay.
Amazing.
All right, so we will link to that in the show notes.
This is one I was curious about.
What was the last psychiatrist blog?
Oh my gosh, you don't know this?
No, never heard of it.
To me, he is the secret godfather of bloggers
on the internet.
Like a lot of the people that you might have liked
from crack.com or whatever he wrote.
It was a pseudonym, people think they know who he is.
He's likely a psychologist or psychiatrist.
And he has incredibly thought provoking stuff.
Now, if you read it, you're gonna go,
well, that doesn't make sense.
And that's kind of a leap,
but it is very thought provoking in reading it. And at the time he stopped
writing in like 2013 or something, but the old posts are still up. I don't even know
if the old website, somebody's cataloged them because there's an internet fandom around
it. But if I could give you some basic things, think the maintenance of certification exam
as fetish 10 extra seconds would have seen true detectives finale.
Okay, he's got all sorts of random stuff.
Oh, he's all over the place.
Yeah, 2014 looks like the last post.
He discusses how advertising doesn't just condition you
what you want, it conditions how you learn what to want.
So as an example, people will watch a Lexus commercial and they'll
think, I didn't fall for that, I don't want to buy a Lexus. And his point is,
yeah, but you think that that's what a pretty woman looks like, the woman who
moves towards the Lexus. And so he's got a couple of maxims which are interesting,
which is, if you see it, it's for you. Meaning like, if you're consuming a piece
of advertising and you think it's not impacting you,
it's been split tested to make it to your eyeballs.
And yes, technically there's a chance that you're resisting,
but it is teaching you how a watch is a status symbol.
And maybe you don't think you need to protect Philippe,
but you learned that this is what money looks like
because the background has a bookshelf.
And now you think that books are what make people want things. So he talks about how two things have happened. We've,
one, lost the ability to self-reference internally our desires, which is exactly in line with
what we were talking about. It's all memetic desire. What do you want that you want that
you want that I can't find my own wanting in it. And he talks about how we have become deeply
narcissistic collectively as a society. We see our own reflection and image everywhere.
And many people do not have the capacity to genuinely love and encounter another. It's
just what my wife says about me, what my kids say about me, that's sort of a thing. All right. So that is just the last psychiatrist.com.
All right.
Let's come back to critical decisions or they don't have to be critical, important
decisions.
If you were basically teaching a class about your entrepreneurial journey, a
seminar, and you were highlighting some of the things that actually really made a
difference, maybe they looked small at the time. Maybe they looked really big at the
time. Anything else come to mind that we have not yet discussed?
So a lot of them we have. So if you allow me to run through the ones because maybe I'll
find something new. So if I really go to critical decisions, there were all of the early ones
about this isn't my 10 out of 10 and I'm willing to let it go. That was repeated throughout the business.
There was this phase of making videos where I'd read essentialism and it became, get everything
out of my way so that I can do this thing.
And that was rocket ship growth.
It was like, let shit go awry.
Problems are arising.
Do not come to me.
There's a balance there that I haven't quite figured out
because what happens is a lot of little things go wrong,
but the net of me making these videos
absolutely obliterates and cancels them out.
And there comes a compounding bill
when you've just hired that person
and just let that culture persist
and it becomes it at some point needs to be addressed which is what eventually did need to happen
with the company but there was a period of just like rocket ship growth by
letting small problems accrue there was getting that extra room was really big
so that I could film for the video handling the Herbie handling my Herbie's
there was the rebranding of Rebranding early. Yeah.
The course, the building, the course.
Here's one.
There was between V3 and V4, I went to Jay Abraham.
He had a private coaching thing.
He's one of these old school business coaches.
He's super old school.
He has a great book on joint ventures.
I haven't read it in more than a decade, but all the myriad forms that joint partnerships
and joint ventures can take pretty wild.
Some of the negotiating gambits, kind of guerrilla marketing and partnership approaches.
Yeah, Jay Abraham.
So I have private coaching with Jay Abraham and he asks me, who's the person you most
want to take your course?
I say Tim Ferriss or Tony Robbins.
And he says, if Tim Ferriss found your course
and took it right now, how would you feel?
I went, I don't want him to.
And he said, that's a problem.
I said, well, it's not good enough.
He said, make it good enough.
So I went back.
That's a cool exercise.
Yeah, so I went back and filmed it
and I still have insecurities and this and that,
but I did my best effort to make it okay for Tim, for you.
And when it was done, the next video that I made,
I spoke about it and I said, at the end of the video,
I said, this is the best I can do.
This is the greatest thing that I can possibly make for you guys
on this topic and conversions exploded.
And every ad read after that had a significantly higher,
like two X or more lift in conversions.
And we started getting more testimonials.
And it was this like, if you don't believe in it fully,
you're gonna sell it with hesitancy.
So being able to tell the truth,
and the truth was not,
this is the greatest thing in the world,
this is my absolute best.
If you like this blog, this is the best I can offer you.
And at this point, the truth is it's no longer true.
I feel like I can do something better now.
So I need to go back, do it again,
and then be able to honestly say,
this is the best I can do.
And I'm sure that that will have the same impact
because I subtly shy away from selling,
from offering the thing that I don't fully believe in.
So that was a big one.
It's tough.
I don't know how to parse it out,
but this plus adding testimonials
was a 4X conversion lift
when we started adding those at the end.
So we used to have our call to action.
It was a 10 minute video.
And then like, hey, if you want to
buy Charisma University, it does this, it does this, it does this, it's got all this,
here's what's in it. And then it became, hey, do you want to buy Charisma University? Here's
what somebody said about it. This helped me get a promotion. It did this. Here's what somebody
else said about it. I got a girlfriend. Here's what somebody else said about it. And they
were just literally photo comments that people had left in the comment section or emails that they sent in. And that combined with the, I care about this more, was a 4x total conversion lift, which
was huge.
There was the avoidance was something that I had to pay for on the back end, the avoidance
of conflict.
And I think this is one, I didn't know how to just allow people to know that I was disappointed
or upset or hurt or angry.
I had to fix everything very, very quickly. A lot of people-pleasy tendencies.
Those compounding over time created a lot of issues.
There was not firing the person who went up stealing. I knew that I needed to.
There was a lot of like not firings that were huge.
And then there was the walking away and the returning, which was really, really important.
And they were both honest one was like i'd rather not have this thing send me money then post videos that i don't feel aligned with which made me like oh my god.
When you do stuff that isn't aligned for money it's signal such a lack of self belief and self love this is in the six pillars of self esteem but like when you start.
in the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem book. Like when you start trading your beliefs for cash or approval, you're just sending a signal that I can't be relied on to be myself and
be safe and earn. But when you do things that are detrimental to income, like not offering
a discount, like saying I don't want these videos to go up, not to punish anyone, but
just because it doesn't feel aligned, I have felt every time where I've dropped into that,
this power arises in me.
And so that was like, oh, holy shit.
I felt like a beggar in a weird way.
I'm making all this money, but I'm like feeling unsafe
that I need to beg for more and ride the coattails
of this thing that I built that I can no longer do.
And as soon as I said, I don't want this,
I felt a surge of like, oh fuck, I have more to say.
I have more to contribute.
So that was huge.
And then in the negotiation, the big moment was two things.
We'd been at deadlock for like two years, I made him an offer, it was nowhere near what
he wanted, like we were just not able to meet.
There were two things that happened.
One was we're starting to get into these circular spirals of things aren't working.
And I pause and I said, hey, it sounds like you're really scared.
And we just talked about our feelings and the fallout of the friendship and the
fears that we both had and acknowledging the emotional intensity of this.
That was essential.
Like pretending that this was a business transaction that we were like, that's a lie.
That's not what was going on here.
We were both really afraid.
And speaking to that and bringing it to light
moves things tremendously.
And then the second one was honestly going to him
and saying, I am willing to sell the business.
I'm willing to sell it, but I need one thing,
which is I need no non-compete.
I need the ability to go and make anything
that I want anywhere. And that moved us from, I the ability to go and make anything that I want anywhere.
And that moved us from I'm trying to buy from him, he wants more money, I don't want to give him the
money to, okay make me an offer. He made me an offer then for that and I said I'll give you 20%
more than that and it was done deal over. And it was that. Amazing. Yeah. Was there anything
in particular that led to those two,
call them breakthroughs, I don't think they're
after two year impasse, I think that wording is appropriate.
Oh, totally.
What contributed to those two things?
Joe Hudson, I have to give a huge shout out.
Have you spoken to Joe?
I have spoken to Joe.
Joe, I actually just featured a tweet storm of his
about emotional intelligence that Sam Altman
had retweeted at one point. Just shared that in my newsletter I think one week
ago, maybe two weeks ago. Yeah, so Joe Hudson, you should explain though to
folks who don't know the name who he is. Joe's awesome. You know, it's funny, I have to
admit this. It was Father's Day last Sunday and I was making the joke, I'm
like, I'm meeting all my dads in one week.
It's my dad, and Tim Ferriss and Joe Hudson
is gonna be here in two days.
And for me, it's a significant thing,
because the truth is, and I told you,
I had a ton of projections onto you.
You know, like, if Tim helps me, it'll save me.
And I had the same thing with Joe,
because Joe's work was also deeply important to me.
And so it's just really cool to like, you know,
drop some of the projections
and meet the people.
So all my dads, Joe Hudson's my third dad.
He's great, he has a thing called art of accomplishment,
and he acknowledges the emotional aspect of business,
and not only acknowledges it, but points to the fact
that if you ignore it, you will either not do as well
as you could, or you will do as exceedingly well
and feel that empty empty burnt out thing that
awaits everybody who trades the inner asset for the external one.
So his work was extremely helpful.
I'd gone through his courses and he offered me because we'd been in contact a private
coaching session because I'd helped him with some YouTube stuff.
And on that he literally suggested he said offer to sell.
Like are you willing to sell?
And it was like then make the offer. Do a shotgun deal where you guys both write a number on a piece of paper and the person who
is willing to spend more will take it. So just knowing that I had that, I brought that to my
co-founder and said, look, I'm willing to make a binding agreement about this where I'm genuinely
willing to buy or sell. It was that shift of like, it was, I needed to buy. He was like, well, give
me more. And when it's like, look, I don't need to buy, but let's get our way out of this
thing. His number came down essentially is what happened.
And there was one final thing that was.
I based on loving advice from people who were supporting me had wanted to buy the
business out of net revenue, which is to say, with safety valves on, if it doesn't
perform, I don't have to pay you.
And that we couldn't find a number for it.
It just didn't feel good.
And I had a number come through a literal number that like came to me.
And I was like, that's way more than I've been offering him.
And he said, no.
And the next follow-up was, yeah, cause you're going to take all the risk.
And I felt a surge of fear.
And then that self belief energy come back and like,
oh my God, yes, I want the risk.
I don't want this if it works.
I want this through rain or shine, good or bad.
Like, let me pay the price for not succeeding and I'll take you back to one.
It was the burning the boats that finally made the business work at every stage.
It was taking the steps that got me to not have the contracting job,
to move to Brazil. I'm committed.
I care about this enough to suffer and hurt if this doesn't work out. Right.
And so that was also huge in that.
And it was huge at the beginning of the business.
Yeah. What a story. You know, I'm consistently amazed.
It happens to me all the time, my own life too, but how a single conversation
or a dream or.
I mean, literally this happened to me when I've had a fever and I've just been
sick in bed where you're looking at something and then suddenly say a Joe
Hudson's like, well, why don't you just do the opposite of what you're considering? And you're just like, Oh shit. Yeah. Why don't I do that?
Like it's this revelatory experience of an off menu option suddenly seeming obviously
available and viable. And it's like when someone offers you a A or B look for C type of situation.
And it's so easy to say that.
And it sounds trite and cliched.
And even as I would like to think, at least how much practice I have at trying to test assumptions,
I am testing assumptions, testing assumptions and always looking for side entrances in these.
testing assumptions, testing assumptions, and always looking for side entrances
and these off menu options.
Still, there are these moments where you're blind
to what is hiding in plain sight.
And it's fun to hear that Joe was one of the unlocks
for part of that.
And by the way, I have to say,
if you are here watching this, I can't imagine you have it,
but if you haven't read the four hour work week,
it's the entire thing is like, it's that that energy and I actually think what people are buying from me is that energy in the social realm?
There's a third option which is connect the magic is available and I think for our work week is like magic is available in your career
Yeah, totally. I've been asked so many times as you would imagine by
publishers to go back and kind of fine tune, rewrite
that book. And I don't want to touch it. Mostly good. I mean, I appreciate you saying that
it somehow captured lightning in a bottle. And I'm like, look, I'm 47 right now. I wrote
that when I was 29. And sure, if I read it now, there's a little bit of chest puffing and there's shit in it where I'm like,
Oh my God, it makes me face a little bit,
but for whatever reason,
that book has just stood the test of time at least over 20 years or close to
it and resonated with people from so many different
age brackets,
going from 15 all the way up to retiree, I don't want to touch it.
And to your point though, fundamentally it's about calling into question all the basic
assumptions of career retirement, slave, save, retire, right?
The deferred life plan and looking for alternatives that you can
effectively prove are, if not
realistic, at least possible vis-a-vis these case studies that are already in
the book, which, and the vast majority of those case studies predated the
publication of the book. So I do myself also, I mean I think that's a byproduct
of enjoying books that do that on some level, right? Let My People Go Surfing, I mean, I think that's a byproduct of enjoying books that do that on some level, right? Let My People Go Surfing, I think is the title of the book by Yvonne Chouinard.
I remember reading books by Ricardo Semmler and Branson, right? Losing My Virginity, where
it's like, okay, everyone says an airline is suicide. He workshopped it in a sense because a flight got canceled.
He walked around with like a sign at an airport offering charters.
And then once he had people booked for a charter, he chartered a flight somewhere and then figured out how to work with, I think it was a Boeing at the time, to effectively cap his downside so that his losses were contained, but the upside
was attractive. And you look at how he structured some of these deals and it's like, Oh yeah,
it wouldn't have occurred to me that that was possible. But of course, when you have
someone like that, who is scrappy and also had the life experience of having to
pick himself up by his bootstraps
and work with next to no money.
It's like, oh wow, you just had to ask
and you had to know the right way to ask
and these apparent miracles can happen.
It's just wild.
So we'll see, maybe I'll put together
that book of case studies.
I think it'd be fun.
Can I ask a question about that?
Yeah.
I ask because I have a conflicting relationship
with my earlier work.
Like this course is 10 years old.
I look at it.
I, ah, that's exactly what you said.
That ragged ocious ass.
He's not caveating it enough.
There's this boldness that you can only have in your 20s
of this is how the world works, right?
You haven't been smashed before,
but there's something beautiful about that as well,
that like only a 29 year old can write this book
with this much punch and pizzazz and clarity.
So I'm curious what your relationship is
with that version of yourself.
And I'm also curious,
what is it like to receive gratitude for that?
Do you feel that it's able to land?
Does it hit?
Does it matter?
I struggle with some of this as well.
I have never been good at receiving.
I shouldn't say good.
I have never been particularly skilled or natural at receiving praise or compliments
or anything like that.
And who knows all the reasons.
I mean, there are probably many I'm not even aware of,
but I think in part there were certain things
that I adopted really early on as core beliefs.
Like, look, the good stuff takes care of itself.
You just have to fix what's not working,
which by the way is not true in a lot of itself. You just have to fix what's not working, which by the way is not true in a lot of cases. It can be true in a limited sense for certain things, but it's a very
Faustian bargain of a philosophy to live with. But I believe that for a long time. So if
in sports coach wanted to give me a pat on the back, I would be like, yeah, that's great.
But like that's already working. So help me fix the stuff that's not working. So I was always, which is not to say that I never responded to positive reinforcement,
but like little Scooby snacks, tiny bits of positive reinforcement and say language learning
is very important, but I often got that reinforcement through the process itself, not from anyone else. And that is that being receiving
praise. So I would say I'm very grateful. I do practice gratitude and I journal a lot
on things I am grateful for. And I basically have run through some type of gratitude list and also asking myself, you
know, is this a good day to die? When I take off in planes, take off and land in planes,
just as an exercise, I'm kind of like, okay, this is the last rodeo as far as travel goes.
Like, how do I feel about what I'm doing right now? And then assuming that it's positive,
even if not running through some level of gratitude.
So I would like to think of myself as a very grateful person,
but I still struggle with receiving compliments and praise.
Yeah, what about other people grateful for you?
I can be really deeply appreciative, but it doesn't,
I think there's also a deep rooted fear of becoming self-absorbed or arrogant or overweighting
my importance in the large scale cosmic order of things, which is effectively zero, right?
I would like to remind myself, which I don't think is a real risk, but nonetheless,
that fear is there. So I think that's also maybe a byproduct. The allowing it to glance
off of me, but maybe not fully land is, I think, a consequence of that as well. It's
like, God, you don't have to go very far, open your laptop and go anywhere online. And
like 99% of people out there,
this is, I don't think it's that much of an exaggeration,
but are just saying things with the utmost confidence
and self-importance.
And it doesn't seem to help them
and it doesn't seem to help anyone else ultimately, right?
It kind of tends to end in tears.
So I love to say, I don't know, particularly,
and that would be another reason why I like having
these conversations, because there's a lot more
that I don't know than what I know.
And then there was a long riff on the gratitude piece.
In terms of relating to my earlier self,
I think it's probably harder for you with video.
You know what I mean?
I think it's probably a lot harder for you with video. You know what I mean? I think it's probably a lot harder
for you with video. Video is incredibly unforgiving. And video also has so many different components
that feed into the end product. You've got camera, you've got framing, you've got lighting,
you've got editing, you've got your stage presence, so to speak, and
performance, you have body language.
There's so many different elements on top of the scripting or not scripting, but the
actual delivery of whatever the content happens to be set design, depending on what you're
doing.
I mean, there's so much that goes into it.
Whereas with print on a page, I would say I still feel very proud of the
writing in the four hour work week. I mean, I killed myself over that book and took the
writing itself very, very, very seriously. So I think it, I mean, I hate to say this,
but it may even be crisper and tighter than my writing now. So I feel good about the writing and the presentation,
the teaching of the concepts,
which was based largely on many, many, many,
many guest lectures at Princeton
when I was invited back by one of my professors
to speak to an entrepreneurship class.
So that's how I workshopped that particular book.
There are small pieces where I'm just like, Oh God, you know,
the kind of chest beating confidence and flamboyance maybe of some of the
examples. And at the same time,
I think that some of that irrational maybe exuberance is really effectively
of that irrational maybe exuberance is really effectively
infectious within the context of that book. I think so.
And for me at that time, keep in mind,
it's a few, that was however many years,
not that many really.
I mean, we're talking five or six years after
for my purposes in lifestyle design, cracking the code or at least figuring
out elimination and automation and all these various things to an extent that seemed very
unusual at the time.
I was still really high on that experience and you can't be a lukewarm evangelist or
lukewarm teacher.
I didn't really view myself as an evangelist, but the
harder the subject is, the more enthusiastic you better be, or at least enthusiastic and
effective as a teacher. If the subject matter takes care of itself, then there are lots
of ways that you can perhaps compromise or not be up to snuff, but entrepreneurship is
a full contact sport, as you know.
And the chapter that I think gets the least attention
if I were to expand something that I would expand
is the filling the void chapter at the end.
People miss that, and it's so important.
It's like, look, if you just create a lot of empty space
in terms of time, humans are not really designed
just to be idle. And I mean, go spend some time with any
reasonably intact kind of hunter gatherer society that might have
some plant ants and cassava or something like that. And you'll
see, yes, they do rest quite a bit, but they're also, by and
large, very active.
Might be just household stuff, might be chores, might be any number of duties, church, et
cetera, especially these days.
But idle hands or the devil's workshop applies to the mind as well.
So for mental health, I think that that chapter is particularly important and maybe, maybe
could have been positioned a little bit differently to underscore it. But that's the type of chapter also that number
one, most readers don't assume they're going to have to deal with because they're like,
well, that's like once you've won the race, I'll worry about that once I've won the race.
Unfortunately, if you build a business and a machine to serve lifestyle, but then it
becomes inverted, It's not exactly
straightforward or it's certainly not pain free to fix it at the 11th hour after the
fact. So I really to the book. Well, it is funny to me when I look back at some of the
tech recommendations and I'm like, Oh my God, this is just like going to the natural history
museum and seeing dinosaur bones. I mean these most of these are completely extinct
Yeah, I'm wrestling with that. It's an ability to look back at myself have all the thoughts that you said which is uh, but also
Love that part like holy shit that guy brought me here on the entrepreneurial journey
Are there any other books that you would recommend to?
The mini Charlie or someone out there who is, doesn't have
to be YouTube specific, but if you just had, you could only recommend a handful of books.
They don't need to be business books per se, but they can be. Are there any other books
that stick out to you?
Khalil Gibran, The Prophet. Yeah. Excellent. Yeah, have that downstairs. That is a good.
Yeah.
Easy to read.
You can read it in small segments.
Why that book for you?
You know, it's been a minute since I've read it,
but I was just like, I'm in that zone of what moved me.
I was like, oh, that book brought me to tears many, many times.
There are just deep truths about life.
Increasingly, I'm into that archetypal,
mythic,
pseudo-religious stuff, not because of any doctrine,
but because of the way that it moves me.
That's just an example of like a 20th century classic,
tome, not even a tome, it's a pamphlet essentially.
Yeah, that's like 100 pages maybe, 120 at most.
Yeah.
Running Lean helped a lot with the interviews.
It's not like the most fun read, but it helped me set up those interviews that I did that
identified the stuff in the business.
Running Lean.
Running Lean.
You could probably find many books on the topic, but it's a lean startup thing, and
it just has two sections.
Here's the big takeaway.
There's two interviews that you do.
You do one interview that is about the customer and one interview that is about your product.
So the first interview is not, do you like this?
Do you want this?
It's what are you bothered by?
What are you trying to make happen?
What isn't working for you?
Where are you hanging out?
And then the second one is, hey, I've got this idea for you.
Does that solve the problems that you identified?
And it helps you run through those.
So that was really important back in the day.
What were the other ones?
Back in the day, Influence by Cialdini was huge.
Outstanding book, still.
Classic, still Dale Carnegie, still classic.
Which Dale Carnegie?
For me, it was How to Win Friends and Influence People
was the one, there's ways in which I go to it.
And then let me think of ones that have touched me
or moved me more today.
I've got Poetry by Hafeez, which that hits the part of me
that is coming more active today.
I love Martha Beck, I saw your interview with her. She's got several books.
Her interview with you is honestly great though.
Like it, I think it does a lot of the work that you might want to take from some of her books.
So I'd recommend that. Let me see real quick.
Brandon Sanderson's in here. I know he was on. That was a great interview as well.
Yeah, he was fun.
So good. Yeah, I'll leave it there. and essentialism. Yeah, let's not drown people.
Yeah, yeah, that's plenty to start with and essentialism.
I'll reiterate that one.
It is a really good read.
And if you combine that with Richard Kosh's book, the 80 20 principle, those two will
take you a long way.
A really, really long way.
Well, Charlie, we've covered a hell of a lot of ground here.
We did it, yeah.
Is there anything else that you would like to mention
or point people to?
Where can people find all things, Charlie, online?
Charisma on Command YouTube channel.
If you're interested in the course,
it's Charisma University.
You should be able to just type it in
and it'll take you to our sales page.
And I just, you know, just, I know it didn't hit,
but I spent a lot of time and money.
I made a D&D show on YouTube, which was a D&D.
I dressed up, I wore a cape, I got my friend
who does a Trump impression to be a character
that is named Tumpy, he's great.
That's called Improv and Dragons.
Don't expect it to explode, but if that's your thing
and you wanna have a quick laugh,
you can check that out as well.
What is your character?
So my character was, I called him Sigmund,
because I was doing a riff on Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung.
So Sigmund and his brother Carl, he was a druid.
Was he an elf?
I forget exactly what his race was.
Oh no, he was a Kalashtar,
which is one of those weird ones.
Kalashtar, that must be a new one. They have these dream lives, and so for me, he was a Kalishtar, which is a one of those weird Kalishtar. That must be a new one. Yeah
They have these dream lives and so for me I was having dreams and I was like, okay
I want to just infuse this with psychoanalysis and I'm gonna give him a German accent and I'm gonna
Lean into this
So we had we had a good time with that and one day I hope I hope to actually get people to watch it
with that and one day I hope to actually get people to watch it.
Amazing.
Alright man, well I think we can begin to
wind to a close here.
Any last comments or remarks, recommendations,
anything at all you'd like to share with my audience?
Anything else.
If I had a billboard, I have to answer
my Tim Ferriss question.
Yeah, let's do it.
I thought about this.
I was like in the moment I'll find it. What is it?
Don't think, feel.
And I know that's counterintuitive to a lot of people,
but lately that's been my guiding principle
is feel my heart, feel my gut, think from my mind
and try to find some union of the three to move forward.
Yeah, dig it.
I dig it, I'm sure Joe would like that.
And I'll give a shameless plug.
Diana Chapman interview on the Tim Ferriss show for people who want to check it out,
maybe a framework or two to try to calibrate to learn how to do that. She's a very good
teacher and I suppose we'll cap it there, man. Thanks so much for taking the time. Really
had a lot of fun. And for everybody listening,
as always, we'll link to everything in the show notes at Tim.blog.com.
Not too many Charlies on the podcast. So if you just search Charlie, Charlie might pop up on the blog, but otherwise Charlie Hooper, it will be the one and only. And until next time, as always, be just a bit kinder
than necessary, not just to others, but to yourself. And thanks for doing it.
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