The Toast - A Return To Internet Friendship: Tuesday, March 5th, 2024

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Travis Kelce Wipes Away Tears as His Brother Jason Announces Retirement from NFL (PEOPLE) (38:50)Kate Middleton Spotted for the First Time Since Hospitalization (Entertainment Tonight) (49:11)Willy Wonka experience in Glasgow goes viral (57:11)Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright separate after nearly 5 years of marriage (Page Six) (1:06:09)Vanderpump Rules' Lala Kent Is Pregnant With Baby No. 2 (E! News) (1:11:51)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Chose and happy Tuesday! That feels like a Monday. For us. Only for us. Only for us, yeah. We took it upon ourselves to shorten the week because you know what? If God won't give you a four-day work week,

you just make it happen for yourself. You do. We are back to being pen pals, internet friends, remote buddies. I love it. I'm sorry like sad when I climb into bed I start feeling sad I definitely miss you like in a deep and profound way but I love being back in my little box I love remote podcasting I feel like I can really just be myself in a way that I could never be like you're not here to judge like anything I say do you know

what I mean not that you're a judgmental person. I'm not a judgmental person, but it's literally my job is to judge the things that you say. Yeah, and you just can't touch me over here in my box, you know? I'll find a way. I found a way. I found a way. No, it's definitely sad.

My studio, which was, you know, beautified and harmonious, and you could tell there were two, three souls working in here at a given time, is now back to being like a person talking to themselves on the internet. Yeah, it's giving sad. It's giving, you know, loneliness. But let me tell you how excited I was for today's episode like I literally put on jeans actually I see and you put on a belt I put on jeans I got this belt and like you know when you order something online and you're like this one piece of clothing whether it's an accessory

or a piece of clothing is gonna change my wardrobe and like you just your life doesn't start till that package arrives yeah that happened to me with this belt and of course it came and I got it in the wrong size so like I had to wait for the new size to come before my life could really start so now you're like a western swirly yeah I saw Morgan Stewart um wearing this belt and I asked her where it was from and she said it was from Celine so I'm not gonna lie like I went into the Celine store I was like all right maybe I'll be that bitch who like dropped $600 on a belt and I just went in and I was like this is is the belt. It just looked different when it was on Morgan than it did in the sad store. And I was like,

I'm not spending money on this belt. Like this belt and I were not meant for each other. You know, was it even $600 or more? Yeah. It was 600. Maybe. Yeah.

It was six. And I was like, okay, no. And then I saw Danielle Caroline wearing a belt that like looked similar, but like more of my vibe. And it was from below the belt and it was $130 and they sold it on revolve and I was like oh yeah I I'm a dupe like I love to think I'm a Morgan Stewart girl but like I'm not and Danielle Caroline was out here doing

the work for people who didn't want to spend $600 on a belt so I got the belt and I was like today's the day I'm gonna wear it I have such an exciting day mostly just because the toast is back we haven't done an episode since Wednesday and like we just have so much to talk about I feel like every time we go on break the episode that follows is like always widely distributed so I needed to look my best it's bussing so I needed to look my best that means I'm wearing my belt I'm wearing my jeans I also just have like a busy day I'd like all the things I postponed from last week to this week. No, I have a week's worth of work today.

Right, right. Today. So I'm excited to be back. I, everyone was like posting on Instagram this weekend, people in New York being like, oh my God, it's spring. Spring has sprung. El fresco, sun chede. And it's literally hurricaning here today.

It's so depressing. It's disgusting. I wish I never came home. Well, you're always welcome to come back to my house, even though I feel like when you stay so long at my house, which you know I love, I feel like it makes your next day even further away because you feel like you get sucked into this hole when you come here. I do. And that you can't come for just a weekend or a week because it's going to be three weeks to a month of your life. And I understand why you're not like, I'm gonna go away for a month today yeah no I'm never coming back to your house because you get sucked into the vortex it is a vortex because I'm just

like I could live here why not I work here there's a mall nearby if I need anything like I just I can't come back I'm sorry you'll never see you'll never see me again but the times were so good la tour de l'eau they were so good I feel like I was really on my fitness game at your home yeah I we were sisters in fitness yes I just like I have a home like I have a life too you know no I know but but this is your life too you know it's not like you're just living my life. Like we were in it together. I felt like I was also living your life too. I feel like so many of my things that I do in a day, like I was shirking a lot of responsibilities. Oh, well, I was literally living your life.

Like, stop it. What are you talking about? No, but like we were doing everything together. Like I'm just letting you know, I was putting my things on the back burner too. Yeah. To do things with you. So you don't want me to come back.

That's what you're saying. No, I would love for you to come back. You're welcome to move in anytime and stay as long as you want. It'll be a minute before you see my ass in Florida again. Let's just, let's leave it at that. Rats. Unless, you know, I do, I absolutely need to go back to St. Barth and maybe I'll stop over in Florida.

It makes the trip much easier coming from Florida. Rats. Speaking of rats, how's your apartment? Don't be rude. Do not be rude. So I left for a month. I laid six traps and I sealed all the holes in my apartment. And before I returned, all the traps were cleared out.

No mouse to be found. Now, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. As much as I wanted to catch the mouse, they were fairly certain he had already left before they laid the traps. But I would have just gotten real peace of mind had we snatched his up, you know, snapped his neck. But we didn't.

What would PETA say? I don't know, but here's what I would say. PETA can eat my fucking ass. I love animals, but I don't live with them. Unless, you know, they're domesticated pets, but. Or Ben. Or Ben. Yeah.

Slay. Slay. Okay, so speaking of Ben. So how's your relationship doing since the events of Wednesday? Relationship is doing well. We recovered. It was actually, the trip couldn't have come at a better time, you know?

Oh, really? Yeah, for just like, you know, us time to work on our relationship. And I don't want to spoil everything and I'm going to talk about St. Bart's, but today I am going to record a podcast episode for the Patreon that's like a full trip breakdown.

It's going to be part solo. You know, I'd love to do a solo podcast to really just refine my skills for when I leave you in the dust. Yep. That's exactly what it is. But I am going to have Ben join me. Good luck. Thank you.

I'm going to have Ben join me for the second half of it to talk about, you know, our marriage and also like his POV on the trip. Okay. So we're platforming Ben again. So not only am I preparing, you know, myself to leave you, I'm also working on my next co the trip. Okay. So we're platforming Ben again. So not only am I preparing, you know, myself to leave you, I'm also working on my next co-host.

Yeah. Good luck with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wishing you well. Thank you.

So I don't want to like spoil everything, but let me just say this. I'm sick to my stomach that I'm not in St. Barth anymore. Like, Jackie, we have to go. Even though like I don't really feel like it's a place you would love. Why? Because it's very, it's a party

town. Okay. Like some could say I am returning from a bender. Like do you hear my voice? I'm a little hoarse. No, but I think, I understand why you would think that but I also feel like based on what I've seen is that it's the type of place where the party is fun so it's not like you have to be like black out no like a little buzz a little rosé never hurt anybody but like it's good music it's good people it's a genuinely good time I love a genuinely good time not a false good time yeah no things it was very genuine and it also felt weirdly like it felt weirdly like a um destination wedding okay because for the time it's a very small island so like you see the same people you don't know these people but you see them at every restaurant it's kind of like you meet these like you know it's your friends cousins or like you're on a cruise yeah yeah cruise is a better vibe yeah yeah um and you're you just like know each other

you know that's really funny it is funny and it's like there was this bachelorette party that was like literally following me around like I saw them everywhere I thought they were French because like you not everyone is from America which is like kind of nice um I thought they were French because they were so fucking chic like you never saw girls like cooler the bride was stunning but like everybody else was also like to the nines and I feel like if you're going on your bachelorette to St. Bart's like you're not a slob you're not a slob and you're not from America like you're just not like it was different I saw these bitches everywhere I was like eventually by the end of the trip I'm like we're sisters like and then of course I met half of them they were all toasters like it was great, I'm like, we're sisters. Like, and then of course I met half of them. They were all toasters. Like it was great. And I was like, really, you guys are toasters.

I don't know why they just, they gave me, I heard one of them. I overheard one of them saying, let's take a picture. So I made up this narrative in my mind. I'm like, you guys, they're from Paris. Like they're French. Like they're, we're not going to know them. They're not going to be toasters or anything. Turned out like one girl was from Paris and the rest were from New York. Don't judge a book, turdy. I didn't. I literally heard her say it, but whatever. I had the best time. And honestly, I feel like so much of my good time came from me feeling so good in my outfits. Like it's really yourself. No, it has nothing to do with that. Like it's like low key competitive. Everybody

is dressed. And that's something low key competitive. Everybody is dressed. And that's something else I liked. I feel like in America, like we're just used to like everyone dresses like slobs all the time and it's like sweatpants. Even at like nice places. It's so crazy. Yeah. We don't, we don't get dressed up anymore. Nobody dresses to the nines.

Yeah. Jackie, they dress to the nines. I felt competitive and I actually felt like I was holding my weight, like carrying my own with my outfits because I had spent so much time and energy like curating curating looks um and we were a well-dressed group you know the tailors brought it like everybody brought it I'm glad it was not for not it was not for not like I felt a like I looked good and it made me feel really good but b that I was on the same level as everybody else like everybody was I I can't imagine how many times I literally stopped people in the street I was like where's your dress

from like everybody just looked so cute and it was so nice to be a part of that and not just like an an outsider which I feel like for so for so long like I was always like just looking in you know oh I love that yeah I couldn't have done it without you and I also could not have done it with the store every without the store everything water. Like what is that store? Half of my outfits were from there. There are so many of those stores down here. I recently went to one and bought like a whole outfit head to toe and wore it the next day, like right off the mannequin.

And then you went. And then also I was just in Dallas and I said there was one right there. And I'm like, I, we've just shopped the whole store. But also what I like is every location has something different. No. And they sent me a DM. Like they were like, Oh, we'd love to send you. I'm like, Oh please. Like this is, I'm like, please've just shopped the whole store but also what I like is every location has something different no and they sent me a dm like they were like oh we'd love to send you I'm like

oh please like this is I'm like please plenty get that suit in every color you know the one with the roses oh no the one that I wore in brown that day we went to the beach yeah okay so this actually happens to me a lot and I was having this conversation with Taylor Strecker and I don't mean this in in any sort of negative way in any way that's ageist. But it happens to me all the time. It literally happened to me at a wedding recently where I was wearing the same dress as like the grandmother of the bride. And I was wearing this bathing suit and I literally saw this like 90 year old woman on the beach wearing the same exact bathing suit.

I think I have a very maternal like mature taste. But also I think it's also because you're more modest. Yes. As am I. Yes Yes we don't wear like slutty like. Right and the thots like are shopping the thot section and the mature women are shopping the mature section We're shopping like mother of the bride

section. But just it's not because your mother of the bride is just because like you're mature and modest Yeah I like. And there are only so many like amazing gorgeous modest gowns. Yeah so the bathing suit that you're talking about that we both have in the same color, like I did see this like actual grandmother wearing on the beach and I was like, hmm. Slay.

It's a slay. She slayed and she was not just any grandmother. She was like from Positano, you know? Yeah. I think you're good. It's just something like, and I remarked on it to Taylor Strecker. I'm like, this is not the first time that like a woman three times my age is wearing the same thing as me. I don't see it as a bad thing. Okay. Thank you. Not at all. So I'm going to do like a full podcast, like trip advisor, energy recap on the

Patreon talking about flights. And I have, I learned so much. Like if you are going, I will help you. Um, what restaurants we loved, what restaurants we didn't love. I was the victim of a con that I actually haven't even told you about. I need to tell you about. No, I don't know what it is. And I can't imagine how my girl got got. I got got by, I really can't, I can't even say it. Like because there's so many people involved.

And like, just know like as much as it is a small island and like you become sisters and friends with everyone you meet every now and then like you will meet a con man and I did yeah I'm la you'll tell me offline or you'll say in the patreon no no no I literally can never this story one because it makes me look so stupid you lose money no thank god what'd you lose like dignity okay priceless but priceless um and actually but no biggie the bachelorette party that i spoke about previously they actually helped me uncover um the con because they were like we almost got got but we were too smart and then we saw that you got like i can't i can't tell the story it's giving mary-kate and ashley movie yeah no i need to write a novel yeah so in terms of like um real breakdown I'm gonna do that on the Patreon by myself and also with Ben um but here's what

I'll say 10 out of 10 you absolutely have to go greatest place on earth do I look tan you're wearing black so it's hard it doesn't bring out your tan but certainly tan the sun was gorgeous I literally didn't I wore so little makeup I never I brought a flat iron I used it once and I was like fuck this I just was so feeling myself it was such a gorgeous place amazing shopping amazing people I made like lifelong friends with the toaster I hope she feels the same way she's probably gonna be listening to this episode because like and I'll tell the story on the podcast but there's this place that like everybody goes to on Sundays and the reservations book out like years in advance I called and they were like laughing in my face.

I'm like, oh, OK, sorry. Like, I'll just go kill myself. And I met this toaster and I was like lamenting about not being able to get a table at Nikki Beach. And she was like, oh, we have a table. Come. And I was like, really? She was like, yeah, like we had two extra spots anyway. So I'll just change it to, you know, four more spots.

And she's a sister and friend for life. I actually think, you know, like, vaguely, disconnectedly. Like, through friends of friends? Through, like, her sister is friends with Olivia. Okay. Now I want to know. Oh, so you know Olivia's always talking about Tata? Yes.

This is Tata's sister. Okay, cool. Yeah, so, like, I was like, okay, I'm not going to go, like, with a serial killer. I did my research. Yeah. Sisters for life. Like, when I come back to Florida she lives in Florida we have to have dinner like obsessed I love this and she's a toaster making new friends in adulthood it was giving cruise it's so cruise Claudia like friends on vacation no and I just want to stay I just want to say like I'm not one of those people who makes friends on vacation like kill me um it was different you you have to go to St. Barts to

understand the energy like we're really a family I understand so I'm thrilled to be back thank you to everyone for giving me the opportunity to explore um a place I really wanted to go to and giving me the time off to do that. You're welcome. How was your trip? You got a haircut. I got a haircut. Yes, you already saw it. And I posted about it on my Instagram. But I was in Dallas this weekend.

And as everyone knows, I desperately needed a haircut. If you watch like the last YouTube episode to now this one, there is major change in your girl. And I wanted to do like my day trip to New York to do all my services. But slowly but surely, I've been getting them done. like I got my eyebrows done when I was with you and then one of my favorite influencers who has the greatest hair on the planet she lives in Dallas and she just posted a reel of her haircut in Dallas and I was like I'm going to Dallas what if I just went to her hairstylist obviously this is a skilled person so I called I tried to get an appointment

couldn't get one then Kate she's the influencer she pulled some strings and got me an appointment because I've got friends in high places and like right during nap time which was just so perfect so I snuck out got my hair did and I'm a brand new person I'm brand new you feel different yeah it's just like every morning I do my hair and I put in a lot of effort and I it's staying oh it's staying and it's staying and like I know you like to call me a mole woman and you're not wrong for that I don't feel like I really for as much as I like thought it I didn't say it no you only have to do say it once and I got it and you said it maybe once or twice and but that was just the truth you know no and I got it and you said it maybe once or twice. And, but that was just the truth, you know?

No, and I would really never like make fun. Like you're obviously a busy person. You're a mom of two. Like I would never say that. But you did say it. Can I do one thing really quickly? Cause like I don't really wear jeans on this here podcast. I have the biggest camel toe.

I'm just going to quickly step off and rip it, rip these jeans from my clitoris if that's okay. Can you even see it on the show? Or maybe it's just a pain. It was a pain, not a visual thing. Got it. Oy. Yeah.

Oy. So you got a haircut. Sorry, I cut you off. And what else? And like now that you have that haircut, do you feel how I feel like with my belt? Oh, for sure. It might even be more of that. For for sure because I can take my belt off I can like the hair stays

and what's exciting is I haven't washed my hair since the blowout because it's the best and I'm excited to actually wash it like run my fingers through my hair when it's wet like see how different lively it is yeah I mean you look healthy you look good thank you I'm continuing on my health journey and I haven't seen all the results that I want to see yet but I'm I'm not gonna let that slow me down oh yeah my health journey came to an abrupt halt came to an abrupt halt I let me say this I was technically like in France you know I think St. Barts is the French West Indies I think it's a part of France, right? You were there.

Like they use euros. Not necessarily French, but if it's French, wouldn't you know? Weren't there flags? I literally didn't see one flag. Wait. Just let me look this up really, really quick. St. B's country. Passport stamp?

What'd it say? When you arrived, was there a picture of the queen? It's a French-speaking Caribbean island. Is St. Bart's a country? An overseas collectivity of France since 2007. Whatever the hell that means. Giving colonialism. Actually, yes, it is.

And I was there colonializing. Colonizer. Oh, colonizer. By the way, colonializing. Classic. Wait, why did I bring this up? I in france oh and so you know they don't have like the problems in their food that americans have you know people say like they're gluten-free and then they go to italy and they can eat pasta because it's not made of shit or yeah people say they go to italy they eat pasta for every meal and they lose weight right and like maybe that

happened to me because i did eat a lot of pasta but but I was in France, you know? And you didn't feel larger? No. I mean, your dresses were so tight on me, but they were tight in the vlog too. Yeah. No, no, no. So you're saying like it was that effective. Like you can eat quote unquote unhealthy food, but because it doesn't have all the chemicals and processed things that we have here in America, like it's healthy.

Yeah. It was giving healthy. I don't know. I don't feel like I like, even though I ate whatever I want and was like drinking a lot. I don't really feel it was just like the French way. I was like drinking wine and having pasta. I just feel like I just feel like it was fine. Yeah. No I hear what you're saying. Yeah. So before we dive in I wanted to thank some people if that's okay. Okay. Who are you Jason Kelsey? Yes, actually. First and foremost, I want to thank you.

Because like I said, so much of my trip was made better by the fact that I felt so good in my clothing and like in my skin. And that was really you. You like, you gassed me up. We went on our health journey together for a week. And then I got to wear all your clothes. Like it was just a dream. So I want to thank you. You're welcome.

Second, and really most importantly, who helped facilitate was a woman named a dream. So I want to thank you. You're welcome. Second, and really most importantly, who helped facilitate was a woman named Ashton. I believe you know her. I believe you introduced me to her. She's a toaster who works for like a villa service called Rental Escapes. And she literally like, I wouldn't have been able to go without her. Like she hooked it up with the house. Like it was a perfect house. It was just everything. And I loved the service. And I'm gonna do a whole like, you know, part in the podcast about why you should use the service. Three, I want to thank the tailors. I loved the service. And I'm going to do a whole like, you know, part in the podcast about why you should use the service. Three, I want to thank the Taylors. I didn't really realize until I got on to like meet them that they had been on their honeymoon.

Oh, classic turdy. Yeah. So I just thought I was like, you know, crashing a trip like ha ha. Not crashing a honeymoon. Ha ha. But you know that there's this trend now where people like after their weddings, before their honeymoon, they go on, I don't know what it's called, like a buddy moon or something where they take a vacation, like with friends from their wedding party. Not

exactly what the tailors did. Cause it's like, if you have a destination wedding, then like people stay, you have like a trip with your friends and then you go on your honeymoon. I think it's called like a buddy moon. And also as we've discussed, like having people around on your honeymoon is important for the health of your marriage I agree but like the tailors are weird in the sense that like they really like being alone together psychotic psychotic they're not like looking for a distraction but I feel like they had their honeymoon and by the way their trip was over they were gonna go home yes yes trip with friends yes I know and they were like so like down, yada, yada. But like once they like said they were on their honeymoon, I was like, wait, you were?

And if I had known that, maybe I wouldn't have gone. So maybe I'm glad. It's best that you didn't know. It's best. So I believe those are all the, oh, and I want to thank me for making it happen. Making your dreams come true. And I do want to thank the Toasters for giving me the grace and the time off. Yeah. And we made it work thank the toasters for giving me the grace and the time off. Yeah.

And we made it work. We had lots of Patreon content. We had, we missed two episodes, Turdy. Like, it's okay. Three. No, we had an episode Thursday. We do double on Wednesday. We did double on Tuesday.

Oh, okay. We missed three. We missed three, which we hate to do. But it was so important for my health that I get the fuck out and you know I did just get my blood work done and I was vitamin d deficient yeah so you had to get that d I got d down and you took a trip with your husband like I suggested right for my health for her health and she's looking great and I love taking a few days off the toes because then there's so much to talk about yeah

and there is so much to talk about these are like the fast five stories from the last few days that everyone has been talking about and we're going to give you our thoughts even though I have been so unplugged from what's going on oh me too I've just been like I don't know enjoying life beautiful um did you get any other beauty services done while you were in Dallas? No, I was super busy. And that was like my one moment for me. It's a big one. It's a big one.

So now on my list of things is Botox. And I am going to come to New York for that and also see my swirl. You better. It probably won't be like a one. I'll probably plan like a little trip soon to come and see you for like a few well the family seat for a few days or something fabulous we can't wait we can't wait to welcome you I was gonna text you and ask when would like is there a good week is there anything going on anything I need to be at oh like anything fabulous shit toastiversary wait I was just gonna say we have not started planning Toastiversity. No, literally the last time we spoke about Toastiversity was on that page.

It was a Patreon. Oh, yeah. Jackie and I are coming up on our. Seven. Six. Six year anniversary. Our six year anniversary of the toast. After our first year anniversary of the toast, we threw this soiree because we were so proud

of ourselves for like rebuilding our business, making it one year, having success. And it was so fun and it was so fabulous. And we never did it again. I think that was the last time that I got so drunk. Yeah. And you were kind of like a liability. No, I was so drunk. I couldn't stand.

We literally had to end the night. Yeah. Well, you guys went off to a club. Oh, I went too. Yeah. Girl, you came as well and fell asleep on the couch. Yeah. No, I think that was literally the last time I ever got that drunk and I think that was probably for the best yeah no I

was like I have I run a business like I can't just be non-functioning like this no and we like made it all the way down the party was over but like you know us we had to go even further we got a table at a club we were like woohoo we made a dollar let's spend it and we literally got to the club paid the bill and you fell asleep like we didn't even get to spend the money yeah no had to go home so maybe like now it's my six-year anniversary of getting so drunk let's do it again I'm so down I can't the next day I had like an IV which is nothing for me but yeah but I was just like not well no can do we are planning a toast anniversary so I guess that's probably the next time you'll come to New York yeah maybe that would be a good time

to sync up we also need to get on that so let's talk offline let's set a time for a zoom call with the party planning committee which consists of both you and I okay I hope you can make time for it actually I can't like I'm busy I make time for it. Actually, I can't. Like, I'm busy. I know. Me too. Maybe tomorrow. Yeah.

We'll put it off till next week. Sounds good. So I feel pretty good about the fact, like pretty good moving forward. Yeah. I feel caught up with you, caught up with the team, and now we can get into the Fast Five stories

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and tell them that the Toast sent you. That's Collective dot com slash T-O-A-S-T. Thank you, Collective, for sponsoring today's episode. Now, Jackie, before we dive in, I just had, like, this sort of premonition. I wanted to make sure, because I have, like, trauma now. We're recording. Like, I keep checking mine. You check yours?

Yes. Okay. Recording. It's just so important that we're recording, I keep checking mine you check yours yes okay I just it's just so important that we're recording you know it is important but speaking of outages and this isn't a story but I feel like it's going to be the theme of the day so I just want to you know speak to Instagram people's lives Instagram's down Facebook is down and parts of YouTube are down too you well Instagram and Facebook being down that makes sense they're you know part of the same family yeah but I'm now seeing that YouTube is having an issue also um well they better get their shit together before the toast comes out oh well yeah but I wonder how long Instagram's

gonna be down like imagine if it's the whole day you know those days where like Instagram's down and everyone's in a tizzy no and it's so annoying like because today's the day I'm back from vacation I have to be like super productive and Instagram is a part of my work and it's and it's so annoying. Because today's the day I'm back from vacation. I have to be super productive. And Instagram is a part of my work. And it's like Mark Zuckerberg doesn't want me to be productive. No, I agree. I already have three stories in my Instagram that weren't loading all morning. And I thought it was my Wi-Fi.

I was blaming myself because I'm so self-critical. Yeah, I'm so self-critical too. I thought our Wi-Fi was down too. I'm like, this bitch. I'm like, I totally forgot to pay the bill. I totally forgot to pay the bill. But it turns out not my fault. No, Jackie, it's not you. It's them, always always I wonder how long it'll be what do you think over under I feel like by the time the toes the thing is with Instagram like when they're down

they don't move with speed and brevity like they like don't give a fuck no sometimes it's an hour but sometimes it's a whole day what do you think it's like working at instagram when there's a outage like oh my god it's like that jonah hill meme or or or like the thing that they work for is down like everybody's in the cafeteria yeah oh true i i do think that they care when their thing is down like i don't think it's that they don't give a fuck um same no you just said they don't give a rip no no that's not what I said I said the thing that they're working like that they work for is down so like like back up like two minutes before no I don't think I said that did I good thing we're recording hopefully uh like I'm so

sick hopefully I'm so sick of like recording, you know, being held so accountable to everything I said, like enough. I understand that when it's like we're going through like episodes from five years ago, but it was literally two, two minutes ago. It's like really annoying. Oh, and by the way, now my WhatsApp is down because I was just checking a message because it's a part of the meta Instagram meta. I guess we can't work today i wish you were here i would go to lunch with you you know what's usually not down twitter podcast app never well don't spoil it but yeah i mean spoil jinx it's never down it's ever been down and i guess like if the podcast app was down you could listen on spotify stitcher

public radio why heart radio wherever you listen to Actually, I don't know if you can listen on some of those platforms still, but hopefully. Yeah. But that's why podcasting is a great medium. So true. So accessible. We're always there for you. Instagram down. But now we can get into the stories. Not a story. Just let people know. Just what's going on today. And if you you're struggling if it's still going on by the time this comes out you know we're here for you listen to old episodes I'm sure it's not a story but I read this article over the weekend I actually sent it to you this morning but I know you were busy and you probably didn't read it did you see there's like a takedown of Jay Shetty I saw loosely that there is but I

don't know what the the points. So Jay Shetty is- But I know you're fiercely defensive of him. I am, and I'm about to be. So Jay Shetty's whole shtick is that he was a monk for three years and then ended up leaving the monastery, if that's what it's called. I just made that up. And taking what he learned as a monk and building a self-help empire. And he writes books and podcasts and everything.

And The Guardian did a big in-depth analysis. help empire and he like you know writes books and podcasts and everything and the guardian did like a big in-depth analysis apparently this journalist was writing a piece on him for esquire and like the more she dug the more like questions she had and esquire was like not down to turn this interview into like an investigative piece so they canceled the article and so she went to the guardian and like wrote this in-depth and apparently like he never lived in India as a monk you know but like I don't know he did like monk like things in London but he was like making YouTube videos she said I don't give a fuck you know like I feel like I met Jay Shetty and he was the real deal do you know what I mean yeah but he said the details are like not of importance to me she has basically

stitched together like everything he said about his time before being famous on Ellen he was on in his book he also had a blog during the time of his like you know North London and like it's really conflicts with like a lot of the stuff that he said on like Ellen and in his books I don't give a fuck like I just don't why let the truth get in the way of a good story I know and honestly it just felt like the journalist with the bet was a bad faith actor. Honestly. Really? Even though, did she start out like

wanting to write something positive or that's what she said? She got like a job for Esquire writing and then she was like doing research and like the more she researched, the more like things

were adding up and she was going to turn it into like some sort of like hit piece. But Esquire was like, no, that's not what we agreed to. So they just canceled the whole thing.

But she, you know, was like a dog with a bone. She a good story she was she took it to the Guardian okay I'll read it yeah no and I was just like I don't know maybe it's because I met him and I was so taken by him he was just so sweet and like I don't know I'm just not really interested you stand with Jay I do I stand with Jay Shetty okay I'm gonna I'm gonna read it I do I stand with Jay Shetty Okay I'm gonna read it But And he's not hurting anyone

No and it's like he's Overall a good faith actor Yeah So the details are a little murky I mean We're all just like actors of our own Lives you know We're just storytellers you know

Yeah And that's what I learned you know at at my time at the Tisch School of the Arts but I also feel like there are sometimes people get caught in lies like this and and they're bad lies like there was that comedian who said he was like uh you know survivor of 9-11 and he wasn't you know that story his name is like not to I'm sure he's listening to this being like, why you have to bring me up? I just came through that. Why you have to bring me up to that?

I thought you were gonna say like Hasan Minhaj, which is what we were just talking about. But his was more serious. Like, his was lying about being like a victim of racism.

When racism's a real issue, why you gotta lie about it? Right, that's like, being a victim of 9-11, like a lot of people are victims. Like, don't take their trauma

and make it your own. But with Jay Shetty, I don't know, I just feel like he's helping people it's giving victimless it's giving victimless crime yeah but I I do need I'm gonna make up my mind for myself but yeah he was nice to my swirly Jackie and he like he like so loved coming on the toast he said such nice things he sent me such a sweet note afterwards. He respected the toast. I'm sorry. No, I don't give a fuck. That's your boy.

I'm always, as a person in public life, I'm always going to judge people based on my interactions with them. And my interaction was overwhelmingly positive. And I'm not going to lie. I went into it being low-key skeptical. You know me I'm like not into self-help and I'm like I don't I was like how can you like make money off of self-help like I didn't get it I get it now okay Latour Deleu not to hold you accountable for everything that you've ever said oh what what did I say no I'm gonna cite another example that you were up in arms about and you

need to tell me how it's different. Okay. Hilaria. I've never met Hilaria. Oh, no. But, like, so you're saying, like, the Jay Shetty crime, regardless of the crime. Say you never met Jay Shetty. Would you think this was a big deal? Yeah, probably. Okay, okay.

But I have met him. And I have, like, I feel like I know him, you know? Oh, okay. I never met fucking Hilaria. And honestly, like, Hilaria's. Okay, great know? Oh, okay. I never met fucking Hilaria. And honestly, like Hilaria's, okay, great. You know, I'm so glad you brought this up. Jay, let's say Jay Shetty lied like about all of this. He lied so that he could help people.

Hilaria lied so she could what? Like be Spanish? Like it's fucking weird. Okay. Okay. But like, okay, who's another person whom I i've met like that wasn't a good example jay shetty and hilaria are not equal you've met that you then like change how you felt about them like there was a scandal and i was like you know you dropped them i don't do that because i'm not

disgusting don't do that you don't you're a loyal friend i am I'm choking on my coffee. Okay, let's maybe get into the actual stories. I mean, it's only been 40 minutes. First story, some big news is that Jason Kelsey announced his retirement in front of his family and his teammates. It was a very emotional speech that he made. His brother Travis in the front row wiping away tears his wife and Kylie and his parents were there and it was a very touching moment yes not

me like watching it live on the plane I just like was bored oh I read Strange Sally Diamond I finished it I wanted to tell you that oh let's circle back to that because Redheads is recording today and I have a lot of things to say about the redheads okay but back to jason kelsey i watched it on the plane i was like literally getting choked up mostly when he was talking about travis and then when he was like you know i guess the thing in philly is like it's called the city of brotherly love yeah and he was like you know it's no coincidence that i played for the city of brotherly love and then that's how he like wrapped up his travis segment like i was fully blown crying it was so sweet um but I had to like zoom out a couple times and be like oh my god like because it was so serious and he was like literally taking like

deep breaths he could not speak he was so emotional I had to zoom out and be like okay wait just hold on like this is football like it really because it felt like like an actual tragedy yeah I'm glad that you said that because I was watching it and I had that thought too. Like it's so beautiful and you know, there's so, so much greatness, you know, so many good themes of like hard work and sportsmanship and teammates and camaraderie and tenacity working together and believe like so many great themes. Totally. But if you zoom out.

It's so important when you're watching the videos to zoom the fuck out. It's a game. It's a sport. It's fun. You know, there are a lot of people who work, who do really hard, important, heroic work. Who never get their flowers. Who never have awards about press conference you know what I mean so I was yeah I had that thought too but most of this for the most of it I was just

wrapped up in it and he had a lot of nice things to say and Jackie I was like watching the video so entranced being like yes I'm like crying too and I would literally be like oh my god this is like the most horrible thing that ever happened and And I was like, wait, he's literally just retiring. And also like, it's a choice. Yeah, voluntarily. Yeah. But I think also like, because of Travis and him and the lore around them and Taylor now, like it became so much of a bigger announcement

than maybe it would have been three years ago. Oh yeah, no, there's literally like- Where he's just like a man retiring, which people do all the time. It's like, people have made it so much bigger than- Yes. Than maybe that it is. No, and there's like literally like fan edits of his career to long live on TikTok right now and like

I watch him and I'm like getting choked up I need to calm down yeah I also I don't know if he has any political aspirations but I feel like he could run for mayor of Philadelphia and assuming you know has some good platforms to run on could win handily. I love that idea. Although like, I feel like that's a great way to go from being universally beloved to being like hated. No matter how good of a job you do at like a political, like either half the city is going to hate you.

I don't think so. I don't think it's that way with mayor. Like you can make a city better and everybody will be happy about, like look at Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah. Yeah. No,

that's a good example because like I look at it from the POV of New York city mayors who are just all hated like all the time. But like Giuliani was never hated while he was mayor. No, that's true. But that's like the only example people cite. Even though like when he was mayor, everybody was like,

fuck Bloomberg. but now I think we've like had so much worse de Blasio Adams that we're all just like yearning for the Bloomberg years yeah but he took away our sodas like who gives a fuck no he did a lot of crazy stuff but it's all washed away he took remember when he took salt off the tables like for the health he was obsessed with health it's like like, leave us alone. Yeah, no. And he like closed down so many streets to make like sitting areas where he couldn't even do dick. Yeah.

And then that caused so much traffic. But like it's small potatoes compared to what we're dealing with now. Yeah. Yeah. I miss those times. Like small, petty squabbles. Yeah. The sodas.

The sodas was really like probably what ended his career in politics. Like people were so mad. He just like he made it illegal to sell a soda bigger than like I don't know 75 ounces which is like really who needs a soda that big me um remember when those were our problems right we didn't know how good we had it and honestly I feel like we all owe mayor Bloomberg an apology myself included I was like one of his biggest critique critics I was in the back of those yellow taxis just like rambling on with the drivers like cursing mayor Bloomberg's name we were so mad at him yeah yeah how did we get here oh Jason Kelsey being mayor of Philly anyways I think he could do it you know if he could did it

in a way where it was common sense changes the city's booming yeah beloved I just feel like being like any sort of like holding any sort of office, no matter how good your intentions are, like it's a thankless job. Most of the time, yeah. Yeah. And it's not a particularly high paying job. No. But he loves his city.

I don't think you can have a podcast and be mayor. Yet. Yet. I think it would be great for a mayor to have a podcast talk about what you're doing talk about what you're seeing explain yourself but see they wouldn't want to do it because it's it would be a form of like accountability for them of course but if you had a righteous a righteous good faith mayor a gfa a gfm which i hard to come by extremely hard to come but I do think that Jason Kelsey would be a GFM because he loves his city that's all I was saying that he loves his city the city loves him okay be

mayor like duh yeah what if he just ran for office um I also love that he just wore like a tank top and flip-flops like millions of people are tuning in crying screaming throwing up and like you're wearing your pajamas. Love that. Like I feel like he literally went for a workout and didn't even shower, you know? Yeah. And what do you think about the Swifties sort of decoding the things that he was saying, saying that there was maybe some Taylor-inspired statements? Okay, I do want to say, because when he was talking about Travis,

he did use the phrase all too well, which of course is a phrase outside of Taylor Swift. It's existed for centuries. But it's been popularized, of course, a phrase outside of Taylor Swift. It's existed for centuries, but it's been popularized of course by Taylor Dia. Uh, no, I honestly feel like of all, like, I feel like Jason and particularly Kylie, like they don't give a fuck about Swifty lore. Like they aren't gonna, you know, give us Easter eggs. Like Travis loves it. And I feel like Travis leans into it. Um, and he was wearing like friendship bracelets last night that said Jason Kelsey's name on it and had his number on it I feel like Kylie and Jason like don't give a fuck you know yeah and then also what do you think about the order in which he hugged his family members after

oh I didn't see it went it did go in order of how they were sitting but that would be I think think it was Travis parents. And then Kylie. Ooh. On its face. I, you know, I think wife and mother of your children is utmost priority, but I don't think he has any, like, I think he has the absolute most respect and admiration for her. Like I do think it was an order of seating and And there's really no bad position to be in.

But what would the right order have been? I do think Travis first. Yeah, Travis first. And I do kind of like that he saved his wife for last. Yeah, there's really no bad spot to be in is what I'm saying. Like you're in the front row at the press conference. Like you've made it. You are, you're part of the inner circle.

Yeah. You're part of the inner circle. Yeah. You're part of my elite employees. Okay, Jackie, thank you so much for bringing that up. You have now been promoted. You are now one of my elite employees. That's my favorite, it just went viral on TikTok. I can't even explain it. But I showed it to Jackie and I think she liked it yeah I just cited it in the proper fashion do you know how much that means

to me I do it for you turdy I so appreciate that um you know what I'm really thinking about in this moment lunch yes I just know your intonation when you're hungry I'm so hungry right now like what are you thinking for lunch i don't know that's what i wanted to talk about like it could be a wrap kind of day i'm thinking tailored farms for me even though i had that for dinner last night zach and i eat the taylor farms mediterranean crunch bag salad every night and we just switch it up with the protein you guys are crazy yeah we're just you know. Healthy parents. Healthy living. Right right right. Yeah I gotta make some chicken today for our dinner salad. I love chicken. I made really

good baked chicken the other day. Have you ever brined a breast of girl chicken? It's not as crazy as it sounds. It sounds like a no you just like put it in salt water for period of time and then when you're ready to cook it go and cook it makes it super juicy really yeah and it was and you didn't think to do your little science experiment uh when i was there knowing that my favorite food on the planet is chicken i literally must have done it the day that you left or something because i did it last week so sweet where were you you must have done it the day that you left or something because I did it last week. So sweet. Where were you? You must have just gone and I was so upset.

I needed to eat my feelings. With some chicken. Brined chicken. So I know the people in Philly, like to them, this is so much more. And I'm sure our recap isn't doing it justice. So you have my thoughts and prayers during this time. But don't forget to zoom out. What's also funny is that he announced his,

he made a speech in the locker room and people were like, oh, he's retiring. And it's like, no, no, no. He had big things planned for this speech. Even Tom Brady did an Instagram post, I think. Jason Kelsey made a meal. I love that. Yeah, make a moment.

No one's going to give it to you. No one's going to give it to you no one's gonna give it you have to make your own moments yeah create your own special moment destiny yeah yeah that's what I feel we do here every day on the show of course do you have anything you'd like to say in your personal press conference that you're hungry so on breaking news I'm always hungry yeah well we have four more stories so if we so have to move on and yeah we do have to move on our next story like really so many big news from the weekend though not news more so like conspiracy theorizing is that Kate Middleton has been seen for the first time since her hospitalization for abdominal surgery and this is following like days and weeks of speculation about what's really going on with her the girl

stepped out to I don't know dispel some rumors yeah but then like last week there was a bunch of royal news stories that really made it all more fun to conspiracy theorize about like Camilla stepped down Queen Charles is chilling William didn't go to that thing it's like there's four working royals and they're all out of business and also like Pippa's ex-boyfriend who's a high-ranking royal and maybe cousin of someone was murdered Pippa was in St. Barth she was but you know that royal well I don't know if he was there was he died via gunshot wound. It's giving murder. No, people aren't.

Sometimes I feel like people fall into conspiracies and the internet gets their panties in a twist for no reason. There were quite a few things that's happened over the last few weeks to make people question. And the most popular theory that I've seen that I also believe is that the amount of time she said she's going to be out of commission is the exact amount of time it takes she's going to be out of commission is the exact amount of time it takes to recover

from a BBL. Yeah. And that's what the internet has, you know, pretty much come to the conclusion of is that Kate Middleton got a BBL and I love that for her.

Well, if you get a BBL, can you then sit in the car before the end of recovery? I think you need a special pillow. Like a hemorrhoid? You could put it in the car. Yeah. But that would be a little dicey to like go, what if they saw your pillow? No bumpy. you need a special pillow but you that like a hemorrhoid you could put it in the car yeah i mean that would be a little dicey to like go what if they saw your bumpy no one else like what if pops

paps saw the pillow yeah people also think she's growing out bangs got a bad haircut yeah which i understand um also i didn't see this going around but like could she have just gotten a mommy makeover you know um boobs and belly perhaps I think what's most confusing for people is like it was kind of she had engagements up until that she had to cancel to recover so it it's giving like emergency unplanned yeah Yeah, for sure. Also, like what is abdominal surgery? I think it could be a number of things ranging from small to large. Right. I guess if you got a tummy tuck, like that's abdominal surgery now.

Yeah. But you know, or if you got your appendix out. Yeah, you would plan a tummy tuck. You wouldn't have to cancel engagements. But if you had an abdominal, like appendicitis or something. Yeah. Then. But why wouldn't they just say that?

Because it's probably not that either. Right. And the reason, like, so she stepped out because all of this, you know, conspiracy theories about her. But then they also released a statement that was like very curt and very,

um, didn't give us more information. They were like, we said what we said. She'll be back soon. I like that for them. Yeah, it does seem like kind of, so everyone starts conspiracies

so they like weekend at Bernie'd her in the car. Like, I don't know. I feel like her being spotted makes me question even more. I feel like they did it to put people to rest and now I'm even more unrest. She spotted in direct response to the conspiracy. Right, which is never a good reason to be spotted. Yeah, but there's no right way.

The conspiracy theorizers are going to theorize. Whether they don't then show her, they're like, what are they hiding? Or they show her, they're like, oh, yeah, there was something that we're hiding. You know what I mean? Can't win. Yeah. You can't win. I think whatever it is, if is something like more serious in due

time we'll know but what is the real like theory that people have because they think it's like connected to Charles and this murder there it's just like a weird and I don't know how or why but at all the same time like all the working royals stopped working which there are four right sounds like they could use a spare yeah yeah but also like camilla get to work but she's also an old woman like i don't know william too yeah but like williams is yeah, I guess they're both like looking after their spouses who are going through tough things. Yeah.

Like you agree this is weird. I agree that it could be. But I also hold space for the idea that it's as they say and it's not nefarious and there's not that much more below the surface. So you're saying that two things can be true at once? No, no, only one of these things is going to be true, but I'm holding space for both options. Got it.

It can't be, like, a serious conspiracy while also being, like, non-nefarious as, you know. Like, do you think it's just a coincidence? Like, I'm inclined to say yes, but I'm a very trusting person and I believe like when people like say believe women I believe women but also like when someone I really don't think everything is like oh a cover-up for this or that like I give people the benefit of the doubt you say something but I go I also leave space for like, oh, hey, maybe, you know, it's private and more serious, but not like this big conspiracy,

they're divorcing and Charles is dying. It's really hard not to like let, like yourself believe everything's a conspiracy. Because once you go down that rabbit hole, it's like a really dark way to live. Like you're right. Sometimes you just have to believe what people say, but sometimes.

But no, but sometimes. But I also read a funny bit of text meme the other day. A bit of scripture? A bit of text on a meme that was like the way that like everyone just believes everything that they see on TikTok or reels, like every video is like the way that like, you know, you make fun of your auntie for believing everything she sees on Facebook. Wait, so funny that you said that because I also saw like a bit of scripture that spoke to me that are like it's

they're completely unrelated but you were just having scripture yeah oh Instagram's down I can't even find it in my Instagram can you give us a general gist yeah I posted it on my Instagram stories yesterday you might have seen it it was just like oh oh I saw it I saw it and it felt like it was written by me by me for you yeah it was just basically like yeah I love that story for you let me tell you about the time it happened to me and it's much more interesting because I'm in it that's this show yeah you're wrong're wrong for that, Turdy. If I could stop, I would.

That's why I don't, I don't try to change you. Check it, I don't want to be that person. I don't, and I find, I find myself doing it, like especially when I was in St. Barts

and I was like having wine and people were telling me stories. I was like, no, no, same but better. I can't change you. I know I'm the worst type of person in the world. The thing is though not to indulge you.

My stories are great. My stories are great. Not always but like you are like an interesting funny person. So it's like at least it's not the most dreadful person in the room doing it. Yeah with like not interesting life experience. And like with just stories that never end and it's like was that the story is it over yet right what was the point how did we get here how do we get out so there i'm what i'm saying is there are worse people that could do it than you like if someone's gonna do it you are a good candidate okay yeah it's just like it's giving

lou and dilla sepsis in one of your houseswives of New York where it was a whole storyline was like how nobody could talk about anything without her being like I went to Paris once yeah like I am her but Luann de Lesseps was a countess like sorry she had an interesting life yeah yeah I think two things can be true I'm holding space for both truths that's the new agree to disagree two things can be be true. Let's hold space for both. Let's. Show me how you could do that. Like this. Are you ready for our next story?

The other bit of news that sort of captured the world this weekend. What? The Willy Wonka experience in Glasgow. Oh my God. Okay. I know it's so funny. On the plane yesterday, Ben and I sat separately because like I had Miles and I sat in first class and he sat like, you know, in coach. He texted me.

He goes, Wonka is amazing. I literally heard it was the worst movie of all time. Oh, Zach watched it a few weeks ago and I popped in and the parts I watched, I enjoyed. I thought it was, it was doing well. Ben loved it. I thought it was cute. Timothy was Timothy-ing. Mm- it. I thought it was cute. Timothy was timothy-ing. Mm-hmm, chalamet-ing.

He was chalamet-ing the house down boots. He was chalet-ing in Wonka. And I enjoyed the things that I watched. I thought it was cute. I didn't see the whole thing, but I liked where it was going. So that just reminded me of like a funny thing Ben said. Continue.

Oh, it just reminded you of, you know, how you could center yourself. Something I wanted to say on my podcast, Sue May. Willy Wonka experience in Glasgow was not as advertised, to say the least. It's giving, you know, the Fyre Festival of Children's Immersive Experiences. And if you lived in Glasgow, like you would have been there. Thousand percent. You see these.

So they had like promotional images of what the Wonka experience would be. It's giving, you know, Disneyland ex Wonka. The pictures were generated by AI and then parents took their children to this wonderful immersive experience. And it was not even close to what it was billed as. It was billed as like this like experimental sort of like pop up thing that's going to be amazing. Bring your kids, buy a ticket. And there are so many things like that, like Museum of Ice Cream vibes. Okay, I was going to say like comparatively, it was supposed to be like Museum of Ice Cream, right? Yeah, but there was also recently in New York, like an Alice in Wonderland type experience.

That's like this, but for Alice in Wonderland. And it was, you know. Amazing. Yeah. So I don't know why people would think that this wouldn't look like what they said it was going to look like. Instead, it was compared to a meth lab um the actors were reading scripts that were also generated by AI that made no sense the people who were working as like characters within just looked incredibly like depressed no forlorn forlorn is the word to use it was like held in an abandoned warehouse children were crying the costume and makeup departments were non-existent and people who were hired by this

experience to be you know oompa loompas or you know different characters are now speaking out about their experience they're just like out of work actors who like booked the gig and didn't think much of it until you know they arrived on set the morning of yeah and I have to say like the internet has its issues and it's really one of the worst places to be but every now and then like something happens that renews my faith and my love for the interwebs and the content coming out of it the fact that this thing went viral and then like all the memes and stuff it has renewed my faith and my interest in the web. Yeah, and I also feel like things such as this

like happen, not so often, but like they happen where things aren't as advertised, and I'm glad that we're shining a spotlight on it. It has, because people need to be shamed, and like who are the owners? Who put this affair together? I don't know. Oh, oh, it was called, sorry,

it's House of Illuminati and it's like a production company facility I don't know if you could call it that right right right so I just I feel I feel as though it's all fun and games but like think of the children yeah it's not right but you know what it's it's an important lesson to learn no I just think of the parents who were like looking for fun things for their kids to do for the weekend and saw this immersive experience and were probably so excited and planned their whole weekend around it where is the you know civil suit there could be one it is Fire Festival, though they're not stranded on an island. But the Fire Festival didn't involve children, so. Right, right.

Got away, both. No, so funny. Kudos to everyone who was involved in making the story go viral. I enjoyed myself immensely. And I don't know, it just being held in Glasgow just made it funnier.

Yeah, yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Which actually the next two are semi-related. So if you have something to say, now would be the time. I do. The next two semi-related stories are brought to you by Mattress Firm. The biggest sleep event of the year, Sleep Week at Mattress Firm is here and you're invited. Mattress Firm's sleep experts are here to help you score the Z's that you need. From virtual tips, tricks, and DIYs, be on the lookout for exclusive deals. We're going to share some virtual tips, but you can keep the slumber party going by visiting

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Expose your body to morning sunshine when you wake up. Similarly, dim your blue light at night so your body knows that it's time to wind down. Avoid phone usage before bedtime because the blue light from screams can hinder melatonin secretion. Be sure to make your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. Studies show that most people sleep best in dark and quiet rooms. That's a comfortable temperature, usually between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit. Sharing a bed with a partner, kids, or pets can be a cause of waking up in the middle of the night. A motion-isolating mattress can help if pets jump on your bed or your partner tosses and turns.

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Thank you, Claudia. You're welcome. Our next story is that Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright have separated after nearly five years of marriage. So Brittany announced on her podcast with Jax, they have a podcast together called When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany. She announced their separation saying,

yes, marriages in general are very hard. And I have a particular, I've had a particularly rough year this past year. Jax and I are taking time apart. And I made the decision to move into another home to take some space for the sake of my mental health. So this was like really shocking. This is really shocking.

They've been together for five, they've been married for five years. Also, they announced a few weeks ago this new show, The Valley, that Britney and Jax are anchoring, really, with a bunch of other cast members that we know and also some new cast members. And it's all about like married life with kids

in the suburbs. So. Yeah, so they've both been like spotted out by TMZ. They're like really milking the podcast promotion, the TV show promotion. And a lot of people think that this is like a fake because then Jax was like, we are living together. He told TMZ that.

So it's been like conflicting reports. She took his name out of her Instagram bio. Yeah. A lot of people just like think this is a PR stunt for the show. And I just want to say like based on my limited knowledge and research of like people that I know um I have been told that this actually is true I just want to say because this is going to conflict with what I said earlier about believing people and statements for the most part but I really felt like oh not this could be PR it would actually

be good PR for the show even if it's just like marital troubles and not necessarily a divorce like they're saying that they're separating any time apart they could still be getting back together maybe they had a big fight but I feel like there's two things that I'm thinking one like maybe this is PR in some way for the show the show was just announced and like this is the first time they're having an announcement like this in their marriage it doesn't hurt but then also I'm thinking like maybe oh maybe going back on reality tv was bad for their marriage oh what came first the chicken or the egg i see that you're eating i'm sorry if you want me to continue doing the show jacket during that ad for quince i swear to god i almost fainted okay so what do you think and i know you obviously like we're with the tailors who know

them like I'm just gonna ask you like do you know anything that's not in here no and based on what you know you think that this is real yes but they're using it if that makes sense two things can be true so you think that there is you knowital discord, but also it doesn't hurt to air that out for the forthcoming show. Exactly. And then maybe if there weren't a forthcoming show, we wouldn't be hearing about this marital discord. That is genuine. I like that theory that you just.

The second one? Theorized. I like that. But I don't know if they made it through like that toxic ass Vanderpump Rules, like this new new show maybe it'll get there but the first season is not gonna be like you know trying on a marriage you know I disagree one I think Jax like goes back to being like reality TV Jax which he you know he's a villain and and I think he does things that it is a reality TV show so it is his personal life like I think things are taxing because he's doing his job well okay he and this is really their show they want it to be good i think he's gonna put everything

that he has into the show and i think regardless of what the show is like that's hard on a marriage and now with a child like that's not what they were dealing with on the inner pump rules oh by the way you see Lala's Pregnant? That was our next story. Oh, sorry. Continue. I think that this new show would come with its own sets of challenges for their marriage that would be very different from the Vanderpump Rules toxicity, but not easy.

Now, let me ask you something. Bruno just walked into the studio. Bruno, how'd you open the door? Bruno has thumbs. Bruno has a pose. Bruno got groomed. He was getting groomed and now he smells like a sweet angel. And then he wanted to show you, Mom, look, I got a haircut too.

And he wanted to come on the camera and show everyone Mr. Handsome. You and Bruno literally have the same color hair. You didn't know that? I gave birth to him. I don't think I've ever really put that together. Oh, yeah. Fun facts about me and Bru. We're twins. Do you love when I eat on the podcast because I couldn't talk into my microphone you just got to talk more than you ever have in the seven years that we've done the show it's so true and I really got to work through my thoughts I feel like I shared a lot of interesting thoughts in that time

and by the way I'm gonna take another bite so feel free to theorize further two more things I want to say not about the subject one I like when you eat on the podcast because you're gonna get in trouble with the listeners and not me. They can't hear me. They can't hear me. And not me. I won't be getting in trouble.

They might get in trouble with me now because Bruno just opened the door, so hopefully there's no noise. And the second thing that I was going to say was about Bruno, that he wants to be part of the show even though you're not here and that he wants to work and he is a businessman and he's on the phone with his lawyers working on seven business deals I'm glad Bruno's sabbatical has come to an end Bruno we missed you the show is nothing without you should we start this episode over no what are you eating a bear bell you're gonna get in trouble they can't hear me let's hope let's hope I have one more bite left okay enjoy your

bite you know what while you're doing that i'll read the headline for the next story and re jackson britney what i like about these sorts of things is we'll know soon enough do they get back together after the show you know like these things sort themselves out right it'll explain itself yeah maybe there's something that we have to watch on the season of the valley in order to understand what's going on our fifth and final story some more vanderpump rules news also big news is that lala kent is pregnant with baby number two she revealed that she's pregnant with her second baby and shared a photo of herself bearing her baby bump while standing with her daughter Ocean Kent Emmett who will turn three next week she captioned the photo I'm expanding my pod and also it was an ad for Mary Ruth's

organics she said cheers to new addition in my little family we love a sponsored pregnancy announcement clear blue is vomiting that they didn't get it I know I love a sponsored pregnancy announcement it's like get your money and I also love that it wasn't necessarily clear blue is a little out of the box thinking right because the thing is as far as as I know she's not in a relationship so she probably went like a sperm donor route she said she was going to for her next she said that on Vanderpump rules that she was going to do a sperm donor because she wants another child and I think she has so much trauma from this custody issues with Randall that she doesn't want anyone having any say in how her children are brought

up going forward. So I feel like when you get a sperm donor, you do like IUI or whatever. So like they tell you you're pregnant at the doctor's office. I don't think you do a clear blue. So you can't do the ad. Really? Why can't you do take a pregnancy test?

Like you do IUI, but then you have to go home and see if it takes and you take a pregnancy test like you do IUI but then you have to go home and see if it takes and you take a pregnancy don't they like tell you at the doctor's office if it takes it's not instantaneous like don't you I think you still take a pregnancy test unless like you want to wait to go back to the doctor but you take a test I mean like that's why you have kids like when my time comes and I don't know when that is. I'm not going to lie to you guys. Prepare to be sick of me. Oh my God, I'm going to milk it.

Oh yeah, I'm having that clear blue. Clear blue, reach out, okay? I'm not pregnant and I don't know when I'm going to be. But when I am, you better believe. Bugaboo, Carters, everyone. Everyone reach out to Turdy. Well, you have to do the one you have to advertise the one that says pregnant or not pregnant not the two lines and that's the best

that's the advice i give to everyone who was trying to conceive like get the ones that say pregnant or not pregnant do not bother with the lines even though the ones that are digital and say it like are probably more expensive you will spend more money buying so many tests because you're not sure if you see the line a faint yeah it's it's like it's a lot i actually i don't even know if i ever did a line test but just like taking one knowing moving on done no and it's like a pregnancy is a celebration it's a joy i don't want to look down at the stick and think of covid being like is that a line like it's giving goodbye yeah no it's giving like pcr in your bathroom no it's giving covid aladdin right right so let's just move on from that yeah

and we're doing digital tests it's going digital so now that's what lala was saying too like now that this the secret's out she's going to be sharing all about pregnancy, talking about it on her podcast. She's so excited to finally share more. And I'm excited to consume. Yeah, I wasn't expecting this news. I was like genuinely surprised and really happy for her. I feel like she's a really good mom. And she like, that's such a funny thing about the Vanderpump Girls. It's like all at once, they like all became moms when I like wasn't thinking that was their journey. And they all I feel like are such good moms. And they love being moms. And they're just like obsessed with their kids.

It's like really sweet. It is really sweet. And I personally enjoy watching that sort of content. Yeah. Yeah. So good and semi-sad Vanderpump news for Jackson Brittany though. I think they'll make it work. What's your prediction? I think they'll make it work what's your prediction

I think they'll make it work too honestly I feel like they've been through so much and of course marriages are hard but I don't think anything they could go through in the future would be as toxic as like that whole time yeah faith unless Jax cheated on her again well then I don't think it would be so murky like we're working on don't think it would be so murky. Like, we're working on things. I think it would be like, goodbye, good day, sir. Yes, yes, good day, sir. So those were the past five stories.

You absolutely needed to know them. You absolutely needed to watch The Toast today. We could dilly-dally. You said you... Oh, you want to talk about your book? Well, I don't... You said you had something to say to redheads, and I just said I wanted to promote the redheads that I just finished strange Sally Diamond and I'm so looking forward to listening to the podcast episode because it was a fabulous book I'm so glad last night I finished our this

month redheads book frozen river by Arielle Laughan and I was reading oh my god so fast yesterday at one point I was cooking dinner and I couldn't read but I needed to be reading so I bought the audiobook I'm listening for two seconds and Zach comes in. He's like, cheater. I was like, what? I was like, audio books have always counted to me. They do. And he was like, it's not called the listen heads. Oh, oh, he needs to be slapped.

Yeah. The thing was, I listened to maybe like 20 seconds and then, you know, everything, like things just went off the rails. And I probably in total listened to one minute of the audio book and then went back to reading at eight o'clock last night and I finished the book in time we're recording the episode today so if you have questions about the book email us at theredheadsbookhub at gmail.com it was historical fiction we haven't done that in a while and I'm really excited to record with my swirlies except I feel like in all of my busyness like

what's really taking a hit in terms of my attention is the redheads like the Instagram page Instagram page like I feel like I'm always rushed reading the book like I just it's the thing that's slipping through the cracks and that hurts me but I will never stop so I know that you are so passionate and it's hard to delegate I am going why don't you hire like a social media manager for the redheads I'm going to hire a social media manager for the redheads I just have not even had time to like. I am going to hire like a social media manager for the redheads. I'm going to hire a social media manager for the redheads. I just have not even had time to like, and I have emails like, cause once I said that field applications, I haven't had time to like look through or like, uh, interview people

or even start the process. When I said it a few weeks ago, so many people email the redheads like applying. So I have candidates. I just haven't even gotten to looking through them. So yes, that is on my list of things to do is to delegate and prioritize the redheads and I apologize to the community if I haven't been you know doing enough I do are you gonna do better I'm gonna hire someone to do better love why'd you better when you can outsource I'm gonna outsource doing better on this one

the good news is is like I'll apologize to like you know the fellow redheads and they're like we don't give a rip we just like reading the books and doing the episodes what happens beyond that is up to you yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean god forbid any of them did the instagram oh my god literally um well i'm excited for for the new episode of the redheads oh and and i think you're doing great thank you let me know what you think of what'd you think of the book strange sally diamond i loved it although by the end i was just like a little fatigued and a little confused yeah it got it went off the rails a little at the end yeah and i didn't realize because like time the the book spans like 40 years and I just forget

that like by the time we get to 2020 like it's COVID and I'm like not this book talking about COVID even though it wasn't really a big deal but like it was just it did kind of affect the outcome of the book though and it makes you wonder how if I'm sure that happened in real life actually yes yes you're right which is sad yeah actually yeah wait what what happened in real life. Actually, yes. Yes, you're right. Which is sad. Yeah, actually. Yeah. Wait, what happened in real life? The trail went cold.

Like he just like flew out, wears a mask for the rest of it. Like, and you know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All these cases like were deprioritized and so many things like just didn't get the attention that they deserve during COVID. Much like the redheads Instagram. Yeah. Much like the redheads Instagram.

Like when I think about the redheads instagram and like gives me a bit knowing how behind i'll do it knowing how behind i am just outsource i will i will anyways so if you're a redhead oh speaking of i know you don't know this because you don't have a TikTok but this girl like made a TikTok that made it to across my desk like it kind of went viral and she was like I went to St. Bart's for a day like when I was in the Caribbean a couple months ago and I left my Kindle at this restaurant and they offered to ship it to me but it's like literally just as much as the Kindle to ship it from out of the country she said if anyone I know is going to St. Bart's like she'll give it to them the hostess

and she was like this is my plea for Claudia to get my kindle so of course I got it I'm gonna ship it out today like hero it's you know what it's giving queenie of the week that's what people that's what people are saying online that because I got it I'm queenie of the week no she just got it to go viral but duh but of course the good naturedness is an added bonus no like I literally want to keep that girl's kindle I just lost mine like it's mine now bitch no like keep it until you go viral you know I posted it and I did go viral like I got what I wanted she can have her kindle back oh good good good okay good yeah and by the way Jackie she left the kindle at the restaurant months ago I picked it

up it still had battery classic kindle and she was like literally reading like like the cover was on it and it was like slutty ass there was like litter it was like so it was giving danielle steel like a bare chested man yep from the back or from the front front face or no face face that's when it's like when they put face on the cover it's like please stop no I feel like when there's no face it's like vague what's this when it's face it's like okay this is this is what it is yeah there's no mistaking it so that is our show if you're looking for a full in-depth recap of my trip to St. Barts I'm actually actually going to record that today, both solo and with Ben. So head to patreon.com slash the toast for that.

Also, I hate to do this, but like big week for Turdy. That's all I'll say. Oh God. What is it? Do I know? I'll give you a clue. That's like subliminal messaging that no one's going to understand.

Tro. Tro. Tro. Tro. Tro. Spell it. T-R-O. It's one half of the word. It's like I'm abbreviating it.

Tro. Tro. Tro. Tro. Tro. It's giving. Tro. Tro. Tro. Tro. Tro. Tro. It's giving. Tro.

Tro. You guys will find out in a few days. Like kind of big week for tourney. That's what I'll say. I'll say it too. Would you agree? I'll back that shit up. I'll back it up.

Any secret projects you want to. No. Actually though. We have a secret project that we're working on. Aren't we? We do. And actually. I meant to set a call. That requires an actual call. Yeah. actually though we have a secret project that we're working on aren't we we do and actually i meant to set a call that requires an actual call yeah so yeah lots of big things in the work for your girls big tings let's wrap this up so we can get this episode up i have officially like

lost circulation in my vagina how do people cross their legs and wear jeans sound off in the comments maybe it's just because they're really high-waisted like i pull them up so high two How do people cross their legs and wear jeans? Sound off in the comments. Maybe it's just because they're really high-waisted. Like, I pull them up so high. Two things that cannot be true at once. Are? Wearing jeans and crossing your legs. Totally.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Justin Lin. I'm going to show you the Fast Five Stories you need to know. Everybody through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast. And where podcasts can be found, so it's Spotify, YouTube, Twitter, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, all the places. Wherever you need to know everybody through friday and youtube so you're watching us on youtube please feel free to subscribe and give us a thumbs up we're also available as a podcast and web podcast we found so it's spotify and twitter publicly where everybody cast works all the places wherever you listen to podcasts find us to just leave a five-star view but i'm beautiful signing out get lit talented we are love you bye i'm so glad you dropped off like that thing you were doing i don't like it i just it didn't come to me today but

stay pressed turdy oh bye