The Toast - Annie, Hallie and Messy Chessy: Thursday, October 31st, 2024

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

Nina Dobrev and Shaun White are engaged after nearly 5 years together (Page Six)Keke Palmer Reveals She Was 'Shocked' to See Her Ex's Comment About Her Usher Concert Attire (PEOPLE)Ethan Slater Reacts to Speculation Ariana Grande's 'Imperfect for You' Is About Him (PEOPLE)Beyonce's mom, Tina knowles, to share her story in upcoming memoir 'Matriarch' (USA Today)Ilona Maher Is Waiting for Guys to Slide into Her DMS (PEOPLE)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Toaster Whee! 2024 Extravaganza! I'm Hallie Parker. And I'm Annie Parker. No, you're not. What's her last name? Annie James. Annie James. Oh, I did know that. I'm Annie James.

And we are joined with special guest... Oh, hello, I did know that. I'm Annie James. And we are joined with special guest... Oh, hello, I'm Aunt Jessie. Oh, Aunt Jessie is here. Hello. Jessie, what's her last name? Hello, Aunt Jessie the hooker. Jessie Doubtfire Garton Kelsey. Oh, Aunt Jessie is here to see you both.

It's so good to see you. Chessers, we miss you. By the way, everybody says Chessie with a C. It's a J. Her name is fucking Jessie. It's not, actually. You look it up. You Google.

It's Jessie with a J. Why do people say Chessie with a C? Ben, you might want to take several Cs. It's literally Chessie. Google it. I love that none of us know the names of our characters. Excuse me, none of us? I literally knew my name. Two thirds. It's Chessie. Google it. I love that none of us know the names of our characters. Excuse me, none of us? I literally knew my name.

Two thirds. It's Chessie. You're positive it's Chessie? Yes. I was getting ready. That's what makes the lore so strong. If she were Jessie, she'd be any other Jessie. Understood.

Jackie, as I was getting dressed today, I literally had to say, Alexa, I could not remember Hallie's last name. Like, I knew Annie James, and I literally said, Alexa, what is, what the fuck's her name? Hallie's last name. Like I knew Annie James and I literally said, Alexa, what is, what the fuck's her name? Annie's, Hallie's last name and Parker. Yes. Nick Parker.

Nick Parker. My daddy. It's true. My daddy. Legend. Legend. What's so funny is I Googled Annie James this morning like for accessory ideas and then I forgot my own name.

So Ben and I are in the same studio. We are on different cameras. You just, it's important to know what's really going on behind the scenes at Tostaween. It is 6,000 degrees in this place. We are both wearing. You have no idea how hot it is. Oh,

you have no idea. On my FaceTime, like Claudia, we always have this angle, but Chessie looks like she's been taken hostage. I can't breathe. This is like the tightest. Look at this sweat mark.

Can you see? I have under boob sweat marks. It's so hot in here. So hot. It's giving summer camp. It's giving summer camps. And it's giving cross transatlantic continental podcasting, which is so parent trap coded.

We have one fan. And I was like very generous because Chessie was already sweating through her shirt when we got here. But Ben, I am letting you know we will be sharing that fan. You have no idea how hot it is over here. You have no idea. Chessie's bosom is moist. I can't breathe. So is Annie's.

No, Claude, do you see? No, Annie, do you see? Do you see Ben's sweat mark? Annie, look. It's getting bigger. Look. Look. Listen, it's that summertime Napa Look Look Listen It's that summertime

Napa Valley heat It's that summertime Napa Valley heat And you know Growing up on a vineyard With my servant Jesse I obviously know What it's like

To exist in the warm climate And I travel a lot Because my dad Is like really wealthy So I'm only at this camp Like for fun I'm spending the rest Of the summer

At my vineyard Most of us Are at this camp For fun I would hope nick parker is so rich not enough people talk about how rich he is they both are both the parents independently wealthy and then when they come together blended by the way alternate title for the parent trap uh three identical strangers or blended yeah like the way they were both so

wealthy and it's it's better because if they had gotten separated and one had to go with a poor parent and one went with a rich parent that wouldn't have been fair no it was just really like two completely different lifestyles but both at a very high level of living at a very high level of living so happy toasterween everyone the day is here halloween what fun yeah and it's nice. I like October because I celebrate Toast to Ween, but also my birthday, October 11th. My birthday is October 11th. Halle, we're not sisters. We're twins, Basil.

And by the way, I know a lot of you guys think that I'm Annie Parker, the twin from The Vineyard. The Vineyard twin. However, that's just what you think however you look like the camper from the camper and the counselor I do because she's kind of wacky looking like what do you mean she looks like me you know but she has like wild red hair like my hair is really you really look like her I think you should tell people that to you and the uniforms are also green and white and is ben the counselor i look like sadie sink's older brother in uh stranger things is that her brother yeah does that make ben cancer snitch yeah because counselor stitch has like a sexy physique

yes always showing off her bosom right how scary is this tank top amazon's finest you love that shirt when you're dressing like a lady i don't think that there could be i don't think that there could be a thicker version of this shirt though jackie the thin one that we wore for aina garten was nice and thin. Very Olivia. This one, this is a coat. This is a winter coat. It's a new one. That's not your Ina Garten shirt? No, that Ina Garten shirt

is long gone. It's probably at your house. Wow, and I wonder, what did you wear for Donna Kelsey? I wore a knit sweater. Oh,

you wore Jenny Kay in cashmere. Oh, I bet you were so hot that day. At least you're not wearing cashmere. I think it was cold that day. Oh,

you look fantastic as donna i just pulled it up it's such a shame 80 degrees in new york on halloween what are you like it's so true ben is also wearing like an excessive amount of house labs blush and um a make-up by mario lipstick it does you've got a lovely blush to you a lovely sheen so out of all the ladies you've played over the years who's your favorite like i am ina garten in my soul how easy is that but the the doubt fire donna kelsey was really fun oh my sons sugar in my sons i just want to say all the women that you're playing are the same are the elk it's true same woman it's so true very like maternal spirit even chessie like she's always whipping shit up in that kitchen not like a kitchen is not an unfamiliar place to them home in hearth a big

chili chessie loves a chili chessie loves a chili and her golden retriever. We should have brought Romeo. Should have brought him. They had a dog. They did. They did. Romeo could have cosplayed as a golden retriever. If Margot still worked for us, she would obviously be Meredith Blake. Obviously.

Somewhere out there, she is being Meredith Blake. She literally was born Meredith Blake. I'm just saying justice for Martin. Martin was a strong character. Martin's your man. Stand by your man, Chessie. Martin's a strong character with those leather pants. Although it would make more sense for Ben in the context of the three of us to be my servant, not yours.

Of course. And he has to be a woman. How boring. Oh, of course. Of course. But I was telling my friends, I went to dinner with my high school friends, what is toasty weed? And I was like, we're being Annie and Hallie, and Ben is being Chessie. They're like, how boring. Oh, of course. Of course. But I was telling my friends, like, I went to dinner with my high school friends, like, what is Toast to Weed? And I was like, we're being Annie and Hallie, and Ben is being Chessie.

They're like, not Martin. I'm like, no, you don't understand. He has to play a woman. He has to. I don't know what it says about myself. I love dressing as a woman. You know who else loves dressing as a woman? Who?

Kate. Bruce Jenner. Very good. And Bruce Soffer. And we're in trouble. And Bruce Salford. And we're in trouble. And we're in trouble. But... No, I feel like I can make jokes

because I feel like Caitlyn Jenner actually appreciates those jokes. Like, she thinks they're funny. 1,000%. And because Ben is an ally who loves to dress like a woman. It's so true. And you do...

And from the back, it's actually very funny to see Ben. Like, today when he put on the wig for the first time and then he walked, he turned around and walked away. Like, seeing from the back, this, like, six foot broad, it is so funny in person, you guys. And the wig is, it's not a hundred percent, you know, they don't have a Chessie wig.

Like it was, you had to really. This wig, I'm sorry, this wig is a Shonda. I think you've never looked better. This wig is a complete shame. No, it's perfect. But I'm just saying, she doesn't have these bangs, does she? She does. It's like very 90s Farrah Fawcett, but you look more like Morgan Wallen.

And you didn't. That's who it is. You didn't shave for the occasion. No, it's funnier when he's a bearded lady. No, I'm Chessie Chesthair. Chessie Chesthair. Let me just pull it down a little how's that oh my god and by the way this is the first show to be and ben is going to be here for however long we want him to be we set up a whole little studio for him right he's literally right next to me we're pretending like we're not in the same room we're literally right next to each other um and i think ben's

gonna stick around for the stories. Okay. Not a little sprinkle of Chessie on the stories. That's what they need. Yeah. And Ben, feel free to chime in or just scroll on your phone. What are the fast five? What are we talking about, ladies? What's 411?

Yeah. What are we chatting about, gal pals? Ooh, what are we chatting about, gal pals? Oh, no. It's where Mrsrs delphi returns jamaican at some point irish and jamaican she is she's irish i believe so yeah no that sounds all right that feels what are we talking about gal pals let's get into it honestly chessie was a little overbearing i know but annie needed that sort of guidance boundaries in her life yeah I mean I just prefer my servants like a little more relaxed what are you gonna do it's

also really crazy that like both girls had servants right like because Chessie was a little above and beyond she wasn't just like a nanny she was like a cooking and a cleaning and Martin was dressed like a full Martin was a straight-up butler but i guess that's like in a single parent household like they had like they definitely needed additional child care so true so they arrived at the same conclusion correct just branded a bit differently yeah you actually look like the twin like with the headband the whole thing you look great thank you this is the most comfortable toaster ween I've ever had. How nice. How nice. I honestly thought you looked great. No, this wig is amazing to me. Should I go red?

I think you maybe should. And I feel like today, because we're always talking about redhead representation, I feel like we're really doing the most for the redhead community. Yes, which we need the most. At dark times like this. It's so true. And by the way, yesterday when we were going through all of our Tostaween costumes over the years, we did forget Viserys and Daemon Targaryen.

We did. So good. Does that make it our most forgettable? Because we literally forgot it. I guess so. I guess so. But still, the thing about Tostaween is they're all really 10 out of 10. So fine, you want to find a 9.9 in there, fine.

It's so true, but it's crazy. I'm not wiping my lipstick. I was wiping the sweat off of my upper brow. Okay, but I literally saw you wipe your lipstick, and now you have lipstick stain. I mean upper lip. Because you wiped it on your pants. Honestly, that's so Chessie. She's kind of a mess.

Oh, crap. Messy. I did. Shit. Chessie messy. Messy Chessie. Messy Chessie. shit.

Chessie Messy. Messy Chessie. Messy Chessie. So Morgan Wallen, Annie and Hallie are so excited to be here today. Happy Toast to you and happy Halloween.

I can't believe it's finally Halloween. Honestly, it's been Halloween for three weeks. Yeah, this has been one of the longest run ups. I don't like Halloween

on a Thursday. I'm calling it. Did you tell the story, Claude, to the toasters of the hooligans below? She did. Last Saturday night, she did. Of course I did. And honestly night of course i did and honestly let's not go there oh my god where else let's round up the dreadful things we did this week okay that was the worst night of my life hang on i saw a lot of

comments about this yesterday aside from my audio which i believe is fixed um but the 45 minute conversation about the creators list which we did address at the end of the episode yesterday, if you made it there, maybe some of you fell off before that. And we apologize. That went on too long. That went on too long. And that's on us and our personal interests and really not being able to separate like our personal interests from the interests of the toasters. And usually the like it's usually just a big circle.

But there is a sliver outside of the circle, I guess. We couldn't read the room because there's nobody in here. And for that, we apologize deeply. Ben, have you cooled down like I have? I'm okay right now. This looks great. I can't breathe. You could literally make a soup with the amount of water under my breasts.

Do you want to take your blouse off? I don't think the people are ready for that. That is... That'll be the end of the show. Make yourself comfortable. Yeah, I guess we can't let it get off the rails. We haven't even started. We haven't even started.

Martin, we haven't even started. And by the way, do you think Martin and Chessie were well-suited for one another? No. I don't think so either. Like Mr. Right Now. You know, he's there.

He's a warm body. There's really no one else around. They're going to be together for the rest of their lives. Let's make a go of it. It's convenient. There was honestly a 0% chance that Martin liked women. Like, it's just like, that's just like not a thing. Like, I looked at them and I was like, this is mismatched.

Like, if anything. I think you're mistaking like British for gay. Like, they're just different over there, you know? Maybe. That never occurred to me over there, you know? Maybe. That never occurred to me, though. Now that you say it, it seems kind of obvious. However, Chessie was not like other women. Chessie is an all-American woman.

She was all-American for sure. I'm so excited for our camping trip. I'm so excited for our camping trip. Chessie, what kind of treats are you going to be packing for us? Oreos and peanut butter, of course. For you fat bitches. That sounds great, honestly. I know Meredith will really appreciate it.

Chessie, what do you think about Meredith? I think Meredith is a stupid cunt. Like, she's so fucking mean to my, what's his name? Dennis? No, that's literally his name. Nick. Nick. She's so fucking mean to my Nick.

I feel like Jemay, private school girl. Yeah, by the way. Just like talking shit. I'm Chris Lilley. And by the way, there is a subplot within the film of obviously chessie being in love with nick parker oh yeah yes but i think she realized a long time ago it's just not gonna happen for her when he likes like 26 year old bitches pr girls yeah that's really how it should have ended though with me and nick parker no but elizabeth. Elizabeth. What a queen she was.

Oh my God, we've literally not even spoken about Elizabeth this whole time. Your mother. Yeah, she's kind of in the background, but... She's a simple woman like that. Yeah. She isn't... Did they like intentionally name her Elizabeth so that we would like draw royal comparisons? So actually, that's so interesting because I feel like when we were...

Like now when I think about Elizabeth James, like she is so... Like reminds me of Princess Diana. i feel like when we were like now when i think about elizabeth james like she's so like reminds me of princess diana i feel like i can't actually there's a whole generation of young girls who grew up thinking that the mom from parent trap was princess diana me william and harry have said that the character reminds them so much of their mom and they used to watch it as a source of comfort yeah i don't know if it was one or both of them but like they've said it too. Oh, that's so sweet.

Yeah. So it's not just us. No. Okay. No, it definitely is not just us. But yeah, there's definitely some intentional confusion.

Intentional confusion. Well, we actually have a lot to get into today. And so Annie, Hallie and Chessie will of course be a part of this entire episode, but Jack's Claude and Ben are going to be diving into the Fast Five because we still have a job to do. You know, a toaster wean is kind of the perfect balance of fun and work hard, play hard. Yeah, work hard, play hard, read ads, tell stories. Of course. Of course.

Oh my, Chessie thinks you're hilarious. Chess-a-lish. That was funny. Chess-a-lish. That was pretty good, gal pal. Pretty good. Gal pal. Okay, well now without further ado,

here are the fast five stories that you need to know. And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you By Carraway So Carraway understands That this spooky season None of us want to be haunted By the spookiness of toxins Carraway brings you peace of mind

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code T-O-A-S-T-E-R 1-0 toaster 10 at checkout. Caraway, it's easy cooking. It's well-loved. It's non-toxic and it's non-toxic cookware made modern. Thank you, Chessie, for your support during this time. Today's episode is also brought to you by GNC. So are you haunted by low energy? It's a very common side effect of being on a GLP-1 medication, even if you're not on a GLP-1 medication. But I know a lot of you guys have taken that journey with me. And if you want to get ahead of that fatigue, a lot of people are like, that a kind of an unspoken about side effect of being on those medications like the general fatigue

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for thanking Cotton. Thank you, Cotton. What? I had to... I had to take out my shoulders. I couldn't breathe. I realized also this costume could double with a big boom. Boom, double up, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom.

A lot of people thought we were going to be the Costco guys for Halloween, and it definitely was like a top three idea. And if we had been, whom do we think we each would have been? Ben obviously would have been the Rizzler. been Ben obviously Would have been the Rizzler I want to I think I should have Been the Rizzler I was going to say

I want to have Been able to have Been the Rizzler But I would have needed To have been Big AJ I'd have no choice I'm just the tallest And one of you

Shorter ladies Would have needed To have been the Rizzler I think you are Big AJ As the kid Claudia's Big Justice And I'm the Rizzler

Wait AJ No it's not Big AJ It's AJ and Big Justice Big Justice is the kid. Claudia is Big Justice, and I'm the Rizzler. Wait, AJ? No, it's not Big AJ. It's AJ and Big Justice. Big Justice is the kid, though. Yeah, which do you want to be, Ben? AJ. I have to be AJ, but I want to be the Rizzler. I want to be AJ.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Have you ever heard him laugh? It's fucking crazy. I did when I met him. He was laughing up a storm. Oh, who was I Talking to last night That like literally Jackie met the Costco guys

And it's the craziest Thing on the planet I don't met the Rizzler I think Taylor Donahue And the Rizzler is kind of Just like off on the side Sometimes there Sometimes not

They like go Yeah So that would be like Perfect for me Because you guys are In the room together And then like I'm the Rizz

Yeah but the Rizzler I'm the Rizz with the Rizz The Rizzler Jackie's On a torpedo to fame This kid Did you see him on Fallon It's insane No I didn't see him on Fallon Yeah, but the Rizzler. On the Rizz with the Rizz. The Rizzler Jackie's on a torpedo to fame. This kid, did you see him on Fallon? It's insane that they were on Fallon. Oh my God, he literally sat there,

just like in his big chair by himself. You had AJ and Big Justice together. It was the Rizzler's show. He sat next to Fallon. He showed Fallon how to do the Rizz. I feel like, I can never remember which fucking twin I am. I'm Halle. I feel like Halle Parker's showing a little vag. I'm just going to go fix my shorts off camera.

You two talk amongst yourselves. Yeah, Chessie's showing breast. I'm showing vag. Isolation cabin for you. Okay. Not the naughty version of Parent Trap. So what's up, Riz? I'm back.

Oh. Am I Riz? No. No, no, no. We'll go back. You're AJ. I'm AJ. You're the chiseler. Chessie Rizler. I'm the oh am I Riz no no no we're about yeah I'm H you're the chiseler Chessie Rizler I'm the chiseler okay let's get into the stories because first up we have some exciting news and I actually feel like Chessie you might be able to weigh in because it's a blend of celebrity and sports news

because Nina Dobrev and Sean White are engaged after nearly five years together I am like really like this couple and I wasn't like waiting for them to get engaged i don't know why they just give the vibe of like forever young like we don't need marriage like i like to snowboard for a living like i didn't i didn't think that they were on the traditional trajectory does snowboard for a living this is added to the list that we can never remember of couples who separately i don't really participate in their work but together i ship wholeheartedly that's exactly who they are

like I never watched Vampire Diaries Ben was obsessed with Sean White obsessed you kind of look like Sean White

I was just gonna say I kind of look like Sean White if you put on Claudia's wig I kind of look like Sean White or a version of him

when I tell you you look like Sean White's mom when I tell you like a young me was so fucking obsessed with Sean White like he. When I tell you, like, a young me was so fucking obsessed with Sean White. Like, he is unbelievable.

Those half pipes, those X game runs, those Olympic runs. He's incredible. That said, I thought they were married already. They've been together. They've been together forever. It feels like for a very long time. Five years is like a long time to then get engaged. Because you think if someone's dating for five years, oh, they're not doing the marriage thing.

The marriage material. But now they're going to get engaged and I guess married. I feel like some people get engaged just to get engaged. Don't you find? Have you seen that video? Jackie, getting engaged in Hollywood isn't what it means. If you get engaged in the real world, you're most likely getting married.

If you get engaged in Hollywood, it's just like new jewelry and maybe you'll get married. Yeah, I feel like someone got engaged recently and I'm like, I don't see these two planning a wedding, like hiring a wedding planner. Channing and Kravitz? No, no, because she was married, and he was married. They obviously do marriage.

Yeah. Someone else. I'm like, they're not like, you know, going to the chapel, going to get married. Have you seen the Sean White biopic on Netflix, Jackie? I have not we weirdly have we we watched it it's fantastic that family like they would literally sleep in their car so he could compete and win he's so impressive like yeah the true american dream

love him ben is obsessed like if ben if you could have like done anything in this life like that's what it would have been right if i could have been like an olympic snowboarder or like skateboarder like that culture yes sick bmx i loved it i thought that's what i thought that's what like high school kids like war like i showed up to the first day of high school like wearing skateboarding sneakers and uh skateboarding shorts and that's why nobody talked to me and no by the way ben had hair much like the wig that he is currently wearing. He had so much hair. He was like an obese ninth grader with his skateboarding outfit.

What does skateboarding with sneakers and shorts look like? Is that not bad? Jackie, you'll know. Ben, what's the brand? Google it. CDC. No, DC is the brand.

You will know. CDC. Jackie, it will literally. The CDC. The CDC. Jackie, this sneaker will like light bulb in your brain a such a classic look okay dc sneakers yeah dc skateboarding shoes yeah because they're giving me like on clouds instead you know they've taken over the search clearly oh my godesse yeah oh my goodness i would say that they were dark times but i remember

them fondly they were i wouldn't say that they were dark times i feel like you were so unburdened by like any sort of self-awareness or self-doubt and i mean this in a positive way like i think a lot of people at that age like are so crippled with what other people think of them and there are people who just like do not give a fuck like and ben was raised to just like have self-assurance and he just walked into that first day like that was his interest like did he look like the typical skateboarder no i had i had just watched brink like i thought that i i thought this was my time i thought me and my friends were gonna compete little did i know i went to a a Jewish private school and nobody wanted to look like that. Got it.

That is too funny. Yeah, you were barking up the wrong tree. Similar to how Jackie and I really wanted to be cheerleaders who went to football games. Meanwhile, we went to Yeshiva. They didn't have a cheerleading squad or a football team. Right. Or any outdoor sports.

Right, right. Nothing. Correct. Feel free to cheer in the basement. Feel free to cheer on your own time cheer your heart out wigs are so itchy like it's insane next year can we do Glee I want to be Sue Sylvester

I'll be Roz Washington and I'll be Mr. Shoe we'll represent the faculty you have to be Mr. Shoe I know do you think part of the reason I hate Mr. Shoe like more than the average person. You have to be Mr. Shoe. I know. Do you think part of the reason I hate Mr. Shoe like more than the average person

is because I see a little bit of myself in him? Rejection? Yeah. No, I don't. Okay. I think he's super hateable. Oh, okay.

Okay, thanks. Yeah. He's the worst. Are you ready for our next story? So Mazel Tov to the happy couple. I'm actually really happy for them and they will have a star-studded wedding. They're not going to have a registry.

You know what I mean? No, no. But they will have a star-studded wedding and they're definitely getting married on like top of a mountain. For them and they will have a star Setter wedding registry you know what I Mean no no but they will have a star Setter wedding and they're definitely Getting married on like top of the Mountain you think they're getting Married oh I'm sorry if they get married Yeah I hope they get like you know Kelly And Miles Aaron Rodgers they like running That crew yeah so 50-50 in terms of

Marriage go and do the chat we watched The episode of Glee last night where Finn's mom and Kurt's dad got married. So cute. It's like such a great show and such a terrible show all at once.

It's so true. I'm sure you talk about it all the time. And me and Ben, we've pretty much come to the conclusion that the worst member of Glee Club is Kurt.

And I'm pretty sure that's like a universal truth. No, that is not who the worst member is. No, I know who Ben's gonna say. The worst member is Artie. By far. Okay. Let me explain. Homophobic and ablety by far okay let me explain and ableist no let me explain let me explain this is my problem no no no arty if they just cast

a real handicapped person i'd be rooting for him that said whoever the that actor was he can walk so all i think of every time i see him is okay eyesore you can walk get out of that wheelchair but if he really it's funny that you said homophobic and ableist because the point of glaze like no matter who we would have chosen you would have said like you're anti-latino it's your anti-semitic mind but i'm like no right right every single person except for i guess like rachel and finn all i know is it was a shame that they didn't cast a truly handicapped person. Rachel's a Jew, yeah. I guess Finn is the only one who's like nothing.

He's heteronormative. Wasp. Cognonormative. What's the word? Neurotypical. Neurotypical. Bad brother. Bad brother.

He's a bad brother, yeah. Bad friend. Finn? Bad friend, yeah. To who? Yeah. To Kurt. He didn't defend Kurt up against uh karovsky karovsky and to the part where kurt is getting like relentlessly bullied by this piece of shit like who's such a good actor i want to reach to the screen and actually kill him with

my own two hands like he's so fucking evil awful awful and what does arty do just sit there well he can't do much else he can he can walk well i think after glee aired like it ushered in an era not because of glee but just like times change where it was like if someone is something you shouldn't have like a straight person play a gay part or all these things and i think that this glee has been marred in scandal a little bit because arty in real life could walk and i think if it happened now like they would have chose someone truly handicapped yeah and that would have been amazing they literally have no roles what what what did you say no you're right like they have no roles like it's like the nicest it's like a gift to be able to write in a handicapped person and cast a handicapped person because they have no roles and they choose this incredibly ugly, capable person?

Ben! I'm sorry. That's a good person. Holy shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I said what I said. But he's like so normal looking.

Like, what are you talking about? I said what I said. I said what I said. Hurts my heart. Hurts my heart. Jesse wants to trash talk today. First and last Toastoween where Ben stays the whole time. Why, too unhinged?

I'm bringing in a little bit too much of the good guys. Oh, is that what that is? Oh, yeah. We go crazy over there. If you guys want to listen, Chessie's going there next. What are you doing on good guys next? It's a great question. Yesterday, we actually had Yvette Brown on who was Helen in Drake

and Josh from the movie theater yes that was it was really fun that was really fun so tune in when that comes on big things over at good guys that is big thing she was also in community do you ever watch yeah no we started it once like 10 years ago and like immediately didn't like it I don't think Ben I don't think Claudia you would have the patience for it but like Ben

you would fucking love it okay yeah I know you love Community I watched it when I was on and I loved it and then Zach did a rewatch recently so I would like let him finish out his episode

in the bedroom and so so good wow that's funny Claude maybe we need to try it maybe maybe no it might just be like a Ben solo mission.

That doesn't happen. Like, I have nowhere to watch. Right. Oh, what about the frame? No, that frame is literally meant for art. It's art. I mean, we literally have the TV in the living room and in the second bedroom, but he has nowhere to watch.

I can't. And the master. Of course, but I'm always in the bathroom. But you don't watch any shows that Ben doesn't watch, Claudia? Of course I do, but I watch way more TV than Ben. Got it. So you don't watch anything that your wife... I watch only what she watches, and then she watches more.

Got it. Yeah, it's a nice life. No, it's fine. I'm exposed to shows I would never have watched. I love Only Murders in the Building. We just finished it. Fantastic. Okay, Chessers.

Do you watch it? By by the way did we get through one story or two we got through one story okay like let's keep it moving yeah sorry sorry sorry like ben thinks that this is the ben show like my bad oh oh i'm like this show and i'm doing the good guys please we don't care like i literally don't care it is whoa okay next story kiki palmer is revealing she was shocked to see her ex's comment about her Usher concert attire. So Kiki Palmer did an interview with People Magazine in this week's cover story. And she opened up about what really happened when she attended Usher's hit concert last year and how she handled the fallout with her ex. So for those who don't remember, like, Kiki Palmer was in a relationship, had a baby, all seemed well until her boyfriend went on Twitter and was like what are you wearing to the Usher concert like you're a mom

yeah it was like kind of the loseriest thing on the planet and it was just like the first in a the first card to fall because eventually the whole thing came tumbling down and we found out what was really going on between them and he was like incredibly abusive and honestly I feel like we As a society Moved on from that Too quickly Because it was seriously

One of the craziest Things on the planet Yeah his tweet said It's the outfit though Dot dot dot You a mom To her Which was wearing

Like a Givenchy dress At an Usher concert Looking pargy as hell She looks sick Looking pargy as hell So she says for her part Quote I was speechless I was at a photo shoot

And everybody was Looking all weird I was like Are y'all good And then I randomly Was on my phone And I saw It was so crazy I didn't want to engage with something that wasn't reality and fan the fire in her opinion I was just at a concert doing what I do as an entertainer creating a fun moment how it became a storyline that me and usher are in love

I don't know I wish honestly they were in fact not in love and never have been however um she says says, as we all know, things are never really what they seem. As for what contributed to the end of her unhealthy relationship with Jackson, she blames the stress of new parenting. And she says, I imagine fame. She says that fame, it's always been a monkey on my back all my life. I'm used to it, but I've always known. And not just with my romantic relationships, but with my family, my friends. Fame has always become a burden.

I mean, that's incredibly magnanimous of her because like no what ruined the relationship is him being a big fat loser not like fame or like anything with her but this is you know the father of her child and I guess that's like a role she takes really seriously and she's not gonna like disgrace him publicly even though like I would fully support yeah there's only so much she's gonna say but there's also a lot that we know just because of what's out there so she's like addressing the obvious things while also being respectful protecting her family yeah they're respectful to her child mostly yeah and that's huge of her it is and seriously can never be me it's a lot of self-restraint it does it does and she's doing a lot of press because she has a book coming out and i imagine it's hard to avoid questions like this because it was this

big thing last year and honestly it's so crazy yeah yeah it really is what do you think chessie fucked up chessie said fucked up you tell them straight fucked up straight from chessie's mouth you heard it no like why why is he being mean to her? No, not good. Not good. You're just, like, going out on the town, trying to look good, and then all of a sudden your man's coming and stomping on your good night. You're talking publicly.

I'm X nonetheless. Yeah, like, fuck that. Yeah, Chessie doesn't like that. Fuck that shit. Chessie doesn't roll that way. Chessie. Fuck that shit. Chessie, what kind of woman are you in a relationship?

Are you, like, very independent? I'm going to fuck him up in the relationship. That'sie doesn't roll that way. Chessie. Fuck that shit. Chessie, what kind of woman are you in a relationship? Are you like very independent? I'm going to fuck them up in the relationship. That's what I'm going to do. Oh, Chessie's from the wrong side of the tracks. Yeah, I'll beat them up. Okay. Thanks, Chess. Like, Chessie, what's your love language?

My love language is a fist bump. Oh, okay. Okay, very Sue Sylvester of you. That is literally so Chessie coded. Yeah, me and Martin, we bump fists. Bump uglies. And uglies, yeah. Very Sue Sylvester of you. That is clearly so Chessie coded. Yeah, me and Martin, we bump fists. Bump uglies. And uglies, yeah. Well, our next story, some relationship news,

because Ethan Slater, the man formerly known as SpongeBob, who's Ari, this is, I'm like. What do you mean former? It was a former role. Chessie, so you know Ariana Grande has a new man. She met him on the set of wicked he probably looks like one of the kids in your high school who was also wearing dc sneakers shocked to know that he's dating ari meanwhile they were both like in marriages he had just

had a baby when they met and like the timeline is really weird but ari maintains nothing nefarious happened even though that's like virtually impossible But okay she's seriously like if you Guys only knew so I'm trying to hold Space for that she will seriously take This to her grave like she is not letting Up on the timeline being acceptable Without telling us anything so anyways Now Ari's dating this guy Ethan Slater And Wicked is coming out he was like a

Relatively unknown actor he had played Spongebob on Broadway like really small Potatoes oh wait he wasn't even I Thought he was the voice played Spongebob on Broadway like really small potatoes oh wait he wasn't even I thought he was the voice of Spongebob and the voice of Spongebob on Broadway yeah the voice of Spongebob I'm surprised you don't know he's like a 75 year old gay man he's like kind of an icon and

he's probably rolling in it and that would be a catch correct yeah but no so she's eating this guy who's in wicked so now they're all doing this wicked press and he's doing press of his own and he's being asked a lot of questions and he's reacting to speculation that her song imperfect for you is about him so she put out an album last year called eternal sunshine just want to say it's es which is also eat later and a lot of the songs are about her crumbling relationship just like about her and she has this song imperfect for you that people think is about him

so he did an interview with gq and when asked about the song's lyrics he didn't exactly reveal if it's about him he said quote she's such an amazing performer and i think everyone knows how good she is as a recording artist and all that but I'm just really blown away by the songwriting I love that song he says yeah it's like a not really uh noteworthy interview in any way other than the fact that he's really acknowledging Ariana like as a human being and his girlfriend publicly and saying nice things about her as a songwriter and a person literally every question is asked how's the movie Ariana's amazing in it you guys are not gonna believe everything I mean Jackie if if you it's like seriously it's the guys are not going to believe everything. I mean, Jackie, if you, it's like, seriously, it's the equivalent of us dating like Glenn Powell.

Okay. Like I would not stop talking about it too. Yeah. But I think he's like, I think this is his media strategy. Like I'm not denying anything. I'm just going to like constantly shower her with praise. And what can anyone say to that? Even if it wasn't a mismatch,

I'm just not sure that like the boyfriend or the man would ever not just shower the like wife or girlfriend with praise if asked in press like if claudia was like doing a movie and somebody asked me what i thought i would say she's amazing like i don't well yeah let's you're you're similar to ethan in the sense that you're with someone who's totally out of your league so what what do you make of all of this no but like if you were Ethan in the sense that you're with someone who's totally out of your league so what do you make of all of this? No but like if you were also in the movie like yes that would be

one answer to one question but like you would have other things to say about yourself. But Jackie he's such an inconsequential character. You're right it's very PR. It's PR driven. But I think it's like a good strategy. It's almost like word salad about Ari's amazingness like we fucking get it. Thank you. It like word salad about Ari's amazingness. Like we fucking get it.

Thank you. It's word salad about Ari's amazingness. And then you get fatigued by the answer. So like you don't want to hear about it anymore. It's a fantastic strategy. When does Wicked come out? It's like out? Oh, it is?

I don't know. November 11th? November. No, Thanksgiving. November 22nd. Okay. People are talking about it like it's out. Yeah.

A lot of people have seen that they keep like hosting screenings and stuff but it's out thanksgiving yeah this is like a really long lead time on the i'm pretty down i'm pretty down to see it though i heard it's amazing i just saw a headline i am so down to see it oh bitch i'm first in line like i'm so down to see it me too my husband's gonna be excited oh yeah your husband loves going to the movies and he's gonna be excited that i'll want to go with him to see something he loves the movies he does love the movies and you are a good friend that you typically accompany him to the movies i do i do go with i do go with him to the movies when he wants to go to the movies and the movies i don't you're just like so that's really nice and you know what can i say something about your husband like he's so

right for that like what's not to like about the movies the snacks are amazing it's literally an activity where you like you leave the house but you like get to do the thing that you do in your house sit down and watch tv like he's it's a good hobby the last time i went to the movies with zach i ran into cuba gooding jr getting snacks did you really yes in the hamptons i ran into cuba hamptons yeah i forgot you guys went in the Hamptons. Did you, Jackie? In the Hamptons. I ran into Cuba. Oh, in the Hamptons. Yeah, I forgot you guys went in the Hamptons. Jackie, did you see that the first celebrity named in like a P. Diddy doc? Because they're saying that the celebrities, the first one named was Cuba. By the way.

That makes a lot of sense. Which is like, seriously, it's not a reveal. I want to know like the people, we already know some of these people are dogs. Like who are the people who were constantly showering with praise who are dirty dogs? So it was like a promising concept that like the first name was revealed. But it's like you can't mar someone who's already been marred. Like next up who? Kevin Spacey?

Like shocker. Harvey Weinstein? Right. I'm sorry. What the hell was Cuba Gooding Jr. doing in Pearl Harbor? Oh, yeah. We talked about that when we watched. What was he doing?

You can't do snow dogs in Pearl Harbor You can't Listen, that's why he was as famous as he was at the time So versatile He had range He had range Honestly, love him Get you a guy who could do both

Are you okay? Not very ally of you He's an absolute asshole But snow dogs, he was great He was great I've actually never seen Snow Dogs. It's kind of like separating the artist from the art, like Van Gogh. Why?

What about Van Gogh is not palatable for you? His ear? Wasn't he like a psycho? He did cut off his ear. Yeah, but he only hurt himself. I'm just saying he cut off his own ear. That's pretty nuts. I feel like that's something you would do.

Maybe. For Claudia? Maybe. Would I cut off my ear for her? Yeah, good question. I feel like that's something you would do. Maybe. For Claudia? Maybe. Would I cut off my ear for her? Yeah, good question. If I said to you, listen, I can't tell you how or why, but the universe will rip me from you. Like, I will never see you again if you don't cut off your ear right now. And it was, like, fully factual.

Like, I wasn't having, like, a psychotic break. Fuck. All right, I guess I'll cut off, like, my off like my ear and like you have to be the one to physically do it yeah but like he didn't cut off like his ability to hear he just like cut off like the top of the lobe yeah all right look i'll i'll ditch the top of my ear okay a chunk it was just a chunk are you ready for our next story? Number four. Am I? I don't think so. I'm ready.

I don't think so either. Doesn't look ready. So unlike me to be so unprepared. Okay, is it the fourth story on Toast to Ween that's brought to you by Amazon Live perchance? Perchance it is. So for those of you who live under a rock, Amazon Live is a shoppable experience on Amazon

where you can learn about the hottest products from influencers and creators like meself and shop while you're watching. So you'll find beauty must-haves, get ready with me demos, live try-ons from all the latest trends and the Garchi Parchi swirlies, of course. So you can tune in and ask questions in the live chat

and you'll be able to have a lot of fun and get your questions asked by whoever is streaming. So if you like tea, there's plenty of it. They've got reality stars like Kyle Richards, Lala Kent, Paige DeSorbo. Paige actually has a new show. It's called In Bed With Paige DeSorbo. Paige actually has a new show. It's called In Bed with Paige DeSorbo where she invites top tier guests

to join her favorite place, her bed. Ben and I have done a ton of Amazon Lives, different categories. The most recent one we did, we actually filmed in our apartment and it was very, Ben cooked like a three course meal for us. We made mac and cheese and chicken sandwiches

and it was super fun and all of our home cooking stuff is like from Amazon anyway. So if you're into cooking, you could watch and have fun and ask questions and then also shop all the items that we were using it's very Rachel Ray of us you know in a non-problematic sort of way so again if you're just looking for like fun gossip I feel like a lot of stuff goes down on Amazon live you can find it from all your favorite swirlies and you can stream and shop my channel on Amazon live by going to amazon.com

slash live slash girl with no job or you can watch enjoy the best of amazon live on their new live tv channel on freebie or prime video under the diy section and you'll be able to shop along on your phone so make sure to tune in live and follow all your favorite swirlies so that you never miss a stream because then you can like ask questions live about like you know beauty or whatever but also just like gossip it's really fun today's episode is also brought to you by taylor farm's chopped salad kits they deliver the freshest, best tasting salads to eat at home or on the go. So Taylor Farms is one of our favorite sponsors here. They're a family owned company and they're on a mission to create healthy lives to fresh, delicious food. Their

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Thank you, Aklada. You're welcome. Our next story, a little memoir news. Someone is writing a memoir. Who? Tina. The Rizzler? No, not the Rizzler.

Tina Knowles. I wish. Oh, oh my God. I had a dream about Tina Knowles over the weekend. Okay, Gabourey sidibe locked me and beyonce up in this tree like we were stuck up there me tina and beyonce actually and tina yeah and the power went out on this like fake island that we were on and so everybody down below like couldn't help us because the cranes and everything like couldn't operate so me and

beyonce are stuck in this like tiny branch we can barely hold our own weights like it was really traumatic and then we finally get down and we go to like a pool party and everybody's like hating Gabourey Sidibe including us like she fucking locked us up in that tree it was really crazy I'm so sorry that happened to you well I guess Tina Knowles is now writing a book about it good good because it was traumatic she's sharing her memoirs um and the title is Uh huh Matriarch Okay you know what That's pretty strong It should be

Memoirs of a Mama It should be But matriarch Is a strong one And that really Is exactly what she is So the business woman Designer and mother

Of Beyonce and Solange Recently announced Her new book It will be available April 22nd She shared some details On Instagram Saying I've always been a storyteller

and it's something I learned from my mother. When I had a family of my own, I believed that my daughters needed to know where they came from in order to know where they were going. I'm now ready to share my story with all of you so that we can celebrate these themes of strength, motherhood, black pride, and identity.

She's a good one to write a book. I feel like she's seen a lot but i do think that she's probably limited in what she can share because beyonce is so private yeah i would say like if this book couldn't you know be real and not just like surface lyrics yeah i think it would be very good but you know the surface lyrics do get you wouldn't you say chessie they do and chessie who do you think is an artist right now out there who's like kind of notorious for their surface lyrics blake shelton blake shelton are you saying that as morgan wallen or as chessie he came out swinging no that's his name

isn't that his name yeah blake shelton what yeah yeah every single song he sings that's like the classic surface lyric country like like about the boots and the barn and the girl and the beer and the... I feel like you're thinking of Luke Bryan. No, no, no. He's not wrong. I am. I am. I am. I am. Who did I say? You said Blake Shelton. Jackie, no, he's not wrong technically, but I know that Ben doesn't feel a single Blake Shelton.

No, Blake Shelton is married to Gwen Stefani? Yeah. Love him. I'm thinking Luke Bryan. I think both. I think you kind of hit the nail on the head with Blake Shelton. No, I watched Luke at Stagecoach come out with his backwards hat. And the beers and the broads and the beers and the broads. And I was like, this is fucking surface lyrics. Okay?

This is surface lyrics. And the opposite of surface lyrics is like a Kacey Musgraves. She goes deep as shit. And makes me feel something. as you as chesse as chesse what sort of genre do you think chesse is most drawn to honestly casey musgraves i think chesse i think she listens to alan jackson honestly like i think she likes billy joel i think she sits on her vineyard listening to uh uptown girl it's kind of not a bad call i feel that i could also see her being a deadhead oh do you think chessie does drugs oh she definitely smokes weed for sure for sure and also another correction when we were saying

like the og stan group we said the believers and then someone said justice for the deadheads and they were right for that yeah that's so true i think the deadheads are the og stans with like a name with a name i'm just not i'm just not a dead fan yeah never was saying that as chessie or as bsa i'm saying this as a bsc yeah it's just so funny how someone could be like a regular person and then like you find out they're a deadhead and it just means they have this like double life where they like where they do drugs where they travel the world for concerts and like up and you know their personal life like for the Grateful Dead. Yeah it must be jarring to like have a co-worker who's like seemingly like boring and normal

and then they mentioned that they went to a dead concert you're like oh you camp you do drugs like you're like you wear tie-dye. I know someone in my close like circle is a deadhead and you would never expect it it's not about the drugs it's I think you could be a deadhead without doing drugs that's not what's shocking what's shocking is then like his partner who's never listened to Grateful Dead like has to go on these journeys with him and travel to the ends of the country to see the Grateful Dead you want to know who it is you don't see one dead concert that's the thing you see a hundred who is it josh webman i knew it i was gonna say that i knew and dana goes to like campsites okay but dana but dana is prepared for that because she is a schumer head okay he is a

schumer head and she does go to the comedy cellar once a week to try and see amy sugar that's true she's a she's a shoe but it only takes her to the comedy cellar. Like, that's not very far. Like, she's been to, like, Wyoming to see Da Dead. Da Dead. Da Dead. Yeah. By the way, I could easily peg Josh as a Deadhead in the best way.

Josh is the best. Yeah, and he's very straight-laced. Like, he's not a party kid, so I guess he must really like the music. Yeah, no, it's about the music. Yeah, it's always about the music. Yeah, I think people are like that with that band Fish.

Aren't they the same thing? Like, okay. They are. If you're a deadhead, you're also a fish head. And Pearl Jam head. I think that Fish heads, no, Pearl Jam is pretty awesome.

I think that Fish... No, it's actually not. Roger Waters. It's not awesome. True, true, true. Yeah, true. True to that. Even though we separate

the artist from the art. No, we don't. Pearl Jam is separate The artist from the art No we don't Pearl Jam is the worst band On the planet We don't We don't do that We don't do that But Fish

I feel like Fish Is more drugs Than dead You guys are focused On the drugs The two of you Yeah we're young They're definitely

A major player In these concerts We're young like that Yeah we're Yeah I wonder the Venn diagram Of toasters and deadheads. Like, what does it look like?

It's small. It's small. No, but I think it's small but mighty. Because I think your toasters are mighty and deadheads are mighty. And like, however many there are in crossover, I think they're strong but mighty. That's beautiful. They're weird for sure. They are mighty weird.

Jesse, you don't mean that. I do. Chessie's kind of like me. There's like 20 of them and they're mighty weird. Chessie's an asshole. Yeah. Chessie's a bully. And that's how she got to where she is in this life.

I'm just saying you would be a bully too if you were this fucking hot. I literally have like a hair that's interacting with my contact. I have these headphones over my hair. Oh, why don't you just leave your contact on the staircase? Over my hair, Jackie. I can't hear. Do you see this? It's over my hair.

My ears are clogged with this wig. Okay, well then let's get into the fifth and final story so that Chessie can finally unburden herself. Ben's not wrong. The wig hairs are being pushed into my ear canals with the headphones. You're right.

And they're like synthetic and really prickly. I was feeling that too. No, literally Jackie's here wearing her own hair and AirPods. What a privilege. She's very laissez-faire

about her. Better than ever. More myself than ever. We're hearing these freaking cans. These cans. It's so worth it, Chessie. You look fantastic.

You do. Thank you, darling. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? So then you can imberdine yourselves. Yes. Alona Marr is getting personal with People Magazine. Who? You don't know Alona Marr?

From the Olympics? She's on the Instagram stars now? Yes, I do. I just didn't. I thought it was Alona Mayer. Okay, well, it's Alona Marr. You're not wrong for that. Alona Marr? It's Alona Mayer. It's I-L- Alona Mar. You're not wrong for that. Alona Mar?

It's Alona Mayer. It's I-L-O-N-A. You made her a Jew. Who's Alona Mar? I'm alone at the bar. With Alona Mar. I'm alone at the bar with Alona Mar. She did a huge spread with People Magazine,

some Gargi Pardji pictures, like dressing up like Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe. And she's complaining that her DMs are filled with mothers who are very proud of her and find her very inspirational for their daughters and not enough NFL players or billionaires. Actually, zero.

No, that's so fair because her thing is that because she's a rugby player, she's like built different. She doesn't look like a, you know, a stereotypical like feminine woman. She's very built. She's more jacked. She's stronger than a lot of the guys that she dates. And a lot of people find that intimidating and on dancing with the stars she's like always

doing things that are like you know groundbreaking like she lifted her partner as opposed to her partner lifting her and it's true like honestly the NFL players who date like 90 pound girls it's not fair like they should be like it's only right that they date alona mar you know yeah and i'm shocked that like there's not a handful of of guys reaching out to her but there's not she says and she loves the moms like no shade and she's so happy to be like a great of course for their daughters but like she's looking for the nfl players and all i all i have to say all i have to say is she is fucking awesome she's awesome she really is i love her and like such a badass not to bring it up but like every time we talk about her it's worth mentioning like i knew about say is she is fucking awesome she's awesome she really is i love her and like such a badass not to bring it up but like every time we talk about her it's worth mentioning like i knew about her

so many years ago now now that she's being like you don't talk about her anymore people thought like you're boycotting her i'm not boycotting don't talk about her she's always in the news we don't always talk about her well i'm certainly not boycotting alana mar are people okay i just feel like everyone's talking about her now like i don't need to but i feel really passionately it's like you set her free. Yeah, I got her to where she is. You launched her into the world. Exactly.

I can sit back and watch. No, she's super cool. I'm trying to think of like who could date her. Well, we can put her on our list. Jason Momoa. Honestly, she's going after the wrong guys.

NFL players aren't it. It's NBA players because they are so tall. Yeah. Like they're, she needs like a nice seven foot guy that will feel like he's a six foot woman is really five feet like the six foot one NFL player is

not where she should be looking she's right about NFL because her thing is not so much her height it's really that she's very strong and like broad yeah but like no but you're right Ben I think I think she needs to expand the search to include NBA because you could have an NFL player just like on love is Blind, like Hannah was talking to Nick and she thought he was going to be so big, but he's a kicker. What about like a Chris Humphries? I know he's like old news, but like his build, 6'9".

He's huge, yeah. 6'9". Yeah, I will always ship Chris Humphries with whomever. She's got to go for the power forward center in the NBA, 6'9 and above. They're going to love her. Okay. I don't disagree, by the way. Thank you for that wisdom, Chessie.

They're going to love her. She'll no longer be alone Amar alone at the bar. Hopefully this reaches her. I hope so. Because we like to give actual tangible advice here. Actionable advice. Alone Amar, no longer be alone at advice here. Actionable advice. Alona Mar. No longer be alone at the bar.

Jesse. We need to make Alona Mar the Dr. Seuss book. Alona Mar alone at the bar looking for a man. Near and far. Near and far. A man who's a star. Alona Mar went to the bar and couldn't find the man, but he doesn't seem far.

Okay, we lost it at the end, but it's fine. Alona Mar alone at the bar. Honestly, pretty good. I'd read it. Went to find a man, again, who wasn't far. Does he have a nice car? Oh! She likes that, that Alone Amar.

Wait. This drink tastes like tall. What's that from? Parent Trap. What's that from? Parent Trap. Let me breathe out. Full circle.

By the way, this wig smells like ass. Yeah, I do think. What do the people do to these wigs before they put them in the Amazon box and send them? Like wipe their ass with these wigs? Like he, hey, we have a really nice wig. Let me just wipe my ass with it before I send it to the customer. I honestly think that that might be what's happening, for real.

Why wouldn't it be what's happening? Or like, what is this hair made of? Is it like, what's that hair? Yeah. Chessie's chest hair. Your mama's chest hair. Ben, and by Ben, of course, I mean Chessie. We can't thank you enough for devoting your morning to Toast-a-ween.

You've become a real cornerstone of it. And I've just been wondering if Chessie has any last words that she'd like to impart, any wisdom to the listeners of today. No, look, this has been great. Listen to good guys and go to SprintSociety.com. Chessie's kind of a capitalist. She's just hawking product. Hawking product, that's right.

I'm just saying the parallels. She sits on a vineyard. We sell wine products. And you get your wine grapes from Dennis Quaid. Parker's Vineyard. Yes, from Nicky P. Nicky P's Vino. That's your district. Nicky P's Vino.

Yeah, Nicky P's Vino. Nicky P.com. While I'm alone at the bar with a loan of bar. Do you think we could do a Spritz Code Chessie to get you something today? Absolutely. Let's do Spritz Code Chessie, C-H-E-S-S-I-E, for 20% off. Well, that's generous. At SpritzSociety.com.

I love that. Bringing it full circle. Chessie. You guys, another toaster wean in the bag. I will say, you know when you know you did something good like this this was good this was good and now just like for a big reveal i'll take off this like yeah yeah show us your final sweat stains oh by the way the under the under boob sweat stain cleared up you're good how do i look you look naked i'm. No, I feel naked and afraid.

Also, the headphones are making the wig look even more like a mullet. Mullet. It's like pressing down and then fanning out. How do people wear tight tank tops? Like, what is the goal? Like, it's terrible. Yeah. It's terrible.

It's not your best look. I'll say that. No, like. You guys. I think we should sign off you look good chess you look good how easy is that you guys thank you so much for listening to the toast happy toast to ween the millennium morning show where we deliver the past life stories that you need to know every monday through friday and youtube so if you're watching us on youtube please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up we're also available as podcast anywhere podcasts we found so it's spotify to search your public media i recast box all the places but visit my podcast five through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcasts anywhere podcasts can be found. So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher,

Public Radio, iHeart, CastBox, all the places you can visit and buy us a podcast. We're a beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Happy Toast-a-ween to all who celebrate. Hope you guys have a very spooky day.

Love ya. Bye.