The Toast - Au Revoir, Female Founders: Friday, August 14th, 2026

Episode Date: August 14, 2026

1. Alex Cooper’s Unwell Beverage Business Is Coming to an End: Report (People) (28:14) 2. The punishment Bill Gates’s daughter Phoebe is most likely to face over Phia’s ‘cookie stuffing’ controversy (New York Post) (36:46) 3. Shay Mitchell's Company BÉIS Sells in $210 Million Deal (E News) (43:05) 4. Taylor Swift has solo night out in London as Travis Kelce returns to Chiefs practice post-wedding (Page Six) (46:28) 5. Instagram introduces a redesigned wordmark (Tech Crunch) (54:50) Queenie and Weenie of The Week (1:00:02) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) ⁠⁠The Toast Patreon ⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠Toast Merch⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠The Camper & The Counselor⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Lean In⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Jackson, Claude and favorite show the fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off, Swirley, it's the Toast. I sound amazing. Welcome back to The Toast and happy Friday. And Fridays always give, you know, a sense of conclusion. A sense of finality. But today's episode in particular, it is the final episode of Swirley Summer. As you guys know, our brief, very brief summer break begins after today's episode.

And then we are back after Labor Day in studio, East Coast. West Coast, you know, wherever we live, are bi-coastal. You want to be bicotial. Trans-Atlantic, Trans-Pacific, Trans-Continental. I don't know the word for it where she's north and I'm south. Thank you. There's no word for it. And like maybe we are trans-binary? Longitudinal.

That doesn't roll off the time of the way. Trans-binary. I'm just making stuff up. You're trans-binary. Yes. I just think that the way, like when people tell me, what do you do? Oh, I host a transcontinental podcast. It sounds sick.

Yes. I'm a celebrity podcaster for a transcontinental podcast. I love that. But what is the word if she's North and on South? What is the word? It's giving civil. It's giving civil. Right? It's giving civil war. The Civil War was North East, South. So what did they call it then? Like when you were... It was like a... Succession? Succeed?

I did. I did. I did. I did. You did. Very uncool. I did. Took us transatlantic. It's Friday, which just means we're in amazing mood. We have so much to tell you guys. Ben went to Supermodel Cafe. Like, there's so much to discuss. Ben and I went out last night. Literally party hard.

I, like, feel like I messed up. Like, I just feel like it was supposed to be this, like, corporate event. Yes, you went to an event for Dear Media. Which was so nice. Like, my friend was in town and I was just like, you guys go. Ben came back and he was like, it was insane. Like, the sickest night ever. He met Josh Hart.

Like, I'm glad that became, like, full circle with the Josh Hart thing. I'm glad as well. And I felt like I kind of fucked up. Well, you would have enjoyed it because it was like a pargy night in the Hampton. with our dear media family. Tim Dillon was there, who's one of my favorite comedians. I've never met him before.

We've, like, DM'd a lot, and we're always, like, past our ships, like, trying to do something, but I've never met the man before, and he was so wonderful. Ben was, like, singing his praises. And it was such a pleasure to meet him. He said Dim Tillan was the nicest guy he's ever met.

He said that, like, Tim was so complimentary of us and the toast he thinks were hilarious. Like, Ben was kind of, like, boy crushing on Tim Dillon. Yeah. And Josh Hart, of course. Of course, the Bostics were there. Of course. My favorite people.

A bostic affair. So much FaceTime with Lauren. Then said you sat in the corner the whole time and talked to Lauren. That's what I needed to do. Like we needed to have a mama catch up. A thousand percent. I haven't seen her since June. Well, since lunch two days ago.

But before that, since she came on the podcast. Like we have a lot to catch up with. We both had third since then. Right, right. Like there's a lot to discuss. A thousand percent. So I just heard it was like kind of the place to be and I wasn't there. The gals on the go were there.

I got to see Danielle up. Oh, yeah. They're new Dear Media Swirleys. Yeah, which made me feel close to my little sister and we were talking about an acquired wedding, so I was able to ask any questions I had. I had the craziest dream about our little sister. Like, oh, gosh.

I don't even want to share it because it's like so weird, but I'll tell you after. Okay. I just feel like when you share your dreams and it's like a weird dream, you're giving people like an insight into like how weird you are. Into your subconscious, of course. Yeah, so I'm not going to share.

People should be like more particular about sharing their dreams. 1,000%. Ben went to Supermodel cafe. Ben was so busy yesterday. Yeah. He happened to be in the area. It's in East Quag, which is like a little bit. far. He happened to be there golfing with your husband. So they went, they were like, we're going

a supermodel cafe. I was like, oh, okay, like bring us back stuff. They came back with like bags and bags of food, merch. The whole house is wearing supermodel sweatshers. This morning. This morning, everybody's white because it's always cold and we're always saying like everyone's always wearing a blanket. We want to make a fire. Everyone's wearing supermodel sweatshirts now. Ben said that it was jam packed. Like seriously packed. Yesterday was like the opening day, right? Bethany went herself. He tried all of the spreads. Obviously, some were better than others when you're going local. not everything is going to be insane. But he said there were some really standout items.

I've heard lots of praise for the cheesecake. The cheesecake was wonderful. I've heard the chicken salad is delightful. I wouldn't know. What else did they bring back? They didn't bring back the actual bagels, which I feel like is her. Which is like the thing.

It's a bagel shop. And then everything else is like creams. It's almost like pop-up bagels but for skinny people. Healthy, yeah. It looked like a-and-inspiring skinny people. And a fair to remember. Yeah, it did. And we got free March.

So it was a very, it was a big day. Ben and I took the convertible out last night. And how did it make you feel? I don't know if I told everyone that like I got a convertible. Yeah, Ben and Claudia have a convertible. It's sort of like the bane of our existence. I know. So it was like such a sweet.

Ben got it for me. Like such a nice gift. And it's just like I've always wanted a convertible. Yeah, it's a dream. You think. You think. But like, first of all, the color he got me like I didn't love. So I ended up like having it wrapped in vinyl, which has like genuinely been

the made of my existence. I wish I never did it because like you can't wash it. You have the hand wash it. I tried to literally wash it in the driveway and like the dirt wouldn't come off. Like, it's so annoying. First of all. Second of all, sometimes you're just not in the mood

to have your hair be whipping in the wind. Or, like, just you're sitting in the direct sun. So, like, a lot of times, I've driven it a lot. This summer, like, top up. And a top-up convertible is just, like, kind of pointless. No, it's like a soda can. Yeah. And the car's really small, which is, like, great.

And then, like, you can't put a car seat in there. So you have to, like, re-organize your day that we can't use. Give me a child a ride. We have to use a different car. I hate to be an ingrate. Because, like, what is more generous than a car as a gift? I'm literally like my episode of my super sweet 16.

And like there was a bow on it and everything. It was the sweetest thing. But like genuinely, I hate this car. Like it's really become such a thorn on my side. But last night, we experienced it as you should. We drove out like after seven. Sun was setting. We put on Teddy swims like driving through the backroads of the Hamptons,

jamming wunge and swung night out, like perfect weather. So we were able to enjoy the convertible. I would say the ride home like not so much. The headlights on the convertible are just not very short. strong. Well, it's also, the Hamptons is really dark. We were getting very overpowered by other, like, even Ben agreed. Like, it feels really dark. Maybe like the battery's

low. I don't know. We, like... No, you guys, this car is just terrible. It's just... It's just... I didn't, like, love the ride home. But the ride there was great. You know, when a convertible hits, like it fucking hits. Yeah, and he's like, we should show up in a convertible. And unfortunately, like, no one was waiting outside to see what kind of car... To see what kind of car...

Just the valet. There was one guy who was attending the party who came in at the same time of us, so he saw A famous person? No, he's someone that Ben knew. I'll tell you who it was after. You guys wouldn't know him. So one individual did get to see that we were in a convertible, which was like sort of the goal.

And also all the people you passed like on the way there. And they were probably like, oh wow. How were those cool couple? Like couple of folks. Couple of people. Couple of in-laws. Yeah, right. And then while you guys, like never came home.

I thought it was like, you guys, it was marketed as like a five to seven cocktail hour. Yeah, it was like five to eight-30. So like, we were like, we'll go after a bad time and we'll stay till 830. but then everyone who was there who was having good time and we just stayed there chatting. So I ended up just like alone, like late at night. Your favorite.

I opened up a book. I finally got a Kindle, like such a waste because like I ended up spending the money and now I didn't even have it the whole summer, whatever. But I've really been wanting to read off campus. I said I was going to read Dean and Allie's book. I come to learn like I don't know why they're doing this. So the first book is Hannah and Garrett. The second book is John Logan.

And then the third book is Dean and Alley. So I'm like, am I going to read John Logan? I have to say, like, I feel like the show kind of ruined. Like, I didn't want to read it because I hate that character. Like, and I don't think he's cute. Like, I just, I don't ship. Like, so I skipped it. Did they change anything in the show from the book?

Yes. One of the most notable things, which I think was, like, kind of a big change is Ali's ex-boyfriend. He's like this weenie, right? He is in the show. In the show. Like, he's just, we can't even imagine my somebody who looks like her would be, like, he's so, and it wasn't like, when she's, like, breaking up with him.

I'm like, okay, and you can move on tomorrow. Obviously. In the book, she's, her ex is like this hot football star. Like, so it makes it a little bit more complicated. That was like a really big change that I think that the show got wrong. But I did end up just like skipping the second book. No, because I don't want to feel torn. Like, I'm all team.

Exactly. Exactly. I skipped the second book. I had asked people on Instagram like, can I skip the second book? They're like, yeah, but it's good. Like, and you. Yeah. But I just like kind of hate John just from the show.

But it's John's story the same in the book as the show, like the mother in rehab? I don't know. I didn't read it. Oh, but in the first book? He's barely in it. I read the first book a while ago, and it's like, not about him. The second book is like all about him. And I just, I didn't care.

So I started to you in Allie, and I'm so glad I did. Because really, I've never read something after a show. I always read it before or not at all. And I feel like, you know, when you, like, paint a picture in your head of a book. Of course, it's vivid. Oh, my God. It's like in son of color. In a living color.

It's actually so helpful. Like, I can really envision it. And I'm really enjoying it. It's such a cute book. I'm already like 45%. It's like a big short book. Do you know what I have is Bill Maxwell? No, but he's in the book a lot.

So I feel like whatever happens, like happens in this book. Okay. Yeah. I won't spoil it, but they talk about him a lot. Okay. I don't want to know, but I'm very curious. Yeah, but I won't share even when I find out. So I'll probably finish that within the hour.

Like, the books are so, so easy to breeze through and so cute. Like, loving it. Okay, great. I'm so back. I love that. Yeah. Love that for you. Read a book.

I love it. I love it. The other major news of the day. is that it's Charlie's birthday I'll let me tell you something Charlie I've actually been thinking about Charlie at a glance I know it's hard not to think about Charlie at a glance on his birthday is like harder than other birthdays

because like Charlie is a miracle and I was not to make like your whole moment about me but I was thinking about it this morning when I saw Charlie I was like he doesn't even know like the journey to getting my chuchinator on this earth like when we got on that plane and when I opened that door and you were crying like now we can think about it it was so fucking traumatic

obviously for you and now we just like sort of glazed It's just part of the story, but like in the moments. And if you guys don't know what we're talking about, my pregnancy with Charlie was very high risk. We have like a whole Patreon episode about it. I updated everyone like as it was happening. It was happening in real time. And a lot of people were like very,

it was like very drama. It was like very drama. People are like where's Jackie? At 20 weeks pregnant at my scan, my cervix was all the way gone and starting to dilate. Like what labor? Like when you go into labor, but I'm 20 weeks pregnant.

And my doctors in Florida just sort of like they look, They sort of wrote me off. They were just like, you know, hopefully you don't go into labor. One of the nurses actually started crying, okay? Oh, yeah. That's Claudia's favorite part of this. I can't believe it. Like, I seriously cannot believe it that when they were delivering the news, one of the nurses started crying.

Like, are you fucking serious? Yeah. So. It's insane. In Florida, they were like, you know, hopefully don't go into labor, bread rest. They gave me a pestry, which is like, you know, I don't know what I would do. Something. But I was communicating with a doctor of mine in New York, not even my primary doctor when I had Harry,

but like a doctor that I knew. met along the way. Like the only gynecologist phone number that I had in my phone. I just happened to have it because he was a podcaster. And his name is Dr. Fox. And I thought maybe we would collab one day and I was just like, okay, I'll text this doctor. And he was like, you need a stitch. You happen to have asked him about what is, he's literally a, like one of the few doctors

in New York. He specializes in this type of procedure. I have to ask the exact person. You actually in the country couldn't have asked a better doctor. No, and it's crazy. Like if not for the toast, I would not have had. his phone number. I only had it because we're toasters and his assistant was a toaster.

And then he liked a podcast, whatever. And he was like, you need a stitch. No one in Florida would do the stitch. I mean, they thought it was like too far gone. So we flew up to. It's also not like a commonly practiced surgery, right? Like you have to be a specialist. You have to be a specialist.

But people do it all over the country. Oh, do they? But not at this late stage. Got it. So we flew up to New York that night. Remember? Ben got the plane. Ben got the plane.

And it was like, yeah, we were on this, like, sick private chat. We couldn't even enjoy it. Of course. It was like the most pit-inducing. We're like trying to be normal for the kids. And like it was just like, it was hell. And I like was using Zach AirPods and I left them on the plane. And he sort of like badgered me about it for weeks after.

And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Like just take the L man. Your AirPods are gone. It was the least fabulous. Private jet ride. Well, also probably one of the nicer jets. Like we spared no expense. The first plane we could get them.

We were like Ben get it. And I've never had less fun in my whole life. Like we like just were trying to pass the time. It was the longest flight ever. Of course. So we flew to New York. I got the circlage. It was like a successful stitch.

Well, it's a risky surgery, especially that late. And with the cervix dilated, it could put you into labor, blah, blah, blah. But it was successful. But then, like, I was staying in New York and I was, like, recovering for my surgery. I said, like, didn't do shows. And then two weeks later, the stitch wasn't, like, looking how it should if we really wanted to hold up for the rest of the pregnancy. So we got the stitch again. It was, like, really painful.

It's like a surgery. We have to get, like, a full bone epidural. You're laying upside down. They use gravity to, like, move. the baby up. Yeah. Epidural craziness. So then we did the stitch again and then I spent the rest of my pregnancy like in New York

on like modified bed rest depending on the news of the day until I gave birth, which was at 39 weeks in a day. Forever and a day. So like. And then we got our little chucci. Yeah. So it was just a very. It was such a crazy.

Crazy pregnancy. And a real. Yeah. So Charlie's birthday is always a little bit of out of glass. It's true. Like it's, you have to take a moment. and just be grateful to so many things, to the toast, of course, to, as Rihanna said, our creator.

Of course. To Dr. Fox. Yeah. To just everyone. He already texts me today. He did. Wait, that's so sweet. I love him.

It's so cute. And so there is a whole, and now I'm like, you know, anytime someone's cervix is shortening. A couple of people have reached out to Jackie. They reach out to me. And if like this is anything that you're curious about, there's a whole Patreon episode about it.

But it was crazy. Like, I was still pregnant when I filmed it. And it's like, you don't know how this thing's going to go. And every day was just like, hope I don't give birth today. Yeah, it was so crazy. Yeah, until we made it to the finish line. Charlie. So, happy birthday, Charlie.

Such an important day. Yes. Such an important. And so we'll be celebrating all weekend. Party hard. Cake. I love your cake, choochie. Yeah, we got to get some cake.

You know, did you not procure one? Well, I'm going to probably get a Carvel one. They're easy enough to get around here. I was, like, thinking for a second, maybe, like, not a Carvel cake. And why would you think such heinous thoughts? I don't know. Like, that dye is a little crazy. Oh, my God.

If we can't have Carvel, like, seriously, there's no joy in life. Maybe I could get a Carvel cake that doesn't have the blue. But that's the best part. Like, maybe I could get one of those chocolate whales or something. No, you have to get the classic. And by the, you can cut the kids pieces from the center. Yeah. But, like, why should we suffer?

Okay, okay. I'll get the Carvel. And, like, yeah, I'm all about genuinely, like, living a whole healthy lifestyle, like, especially for the kids. Like, they have to enjoy. It's a birthday. And it's Charlie's birthday. Okay.

Like, come on. Only the best. Only the best. And, like, seriously, like, if you take my Carvel cake away, I'll be mad. You've been looking forward to it. I know, like, every summer, we have three or four cakes. Olivia's birthday, my birthday, maybe just, like, a fun afternoon. Yeah.

Charlie's birthday. And so, like, this is sort of the last one. And you just can't take it away from me. We had the Kayla lost her tooth cake. Yeah, there's just, like, so much to celebrate. There is. Thank God. Thank God.

Yeah. It's also, like, obviously, Swirley Summer ending is devastating. But there's a lot happening. Like I feel like once we get back to, well, I get back to the city, it's like, that's when like shit starts popping off, right? No, I have so much going on. No, but like it's going to, I mean like for work. Like all the celebrities are back. It's fashion month.

It's U.S. Open. Yes. We saw Taylor yesterday. Maybe her and Travis are going to go to the U.S. Open. Like, I just feel like the possibilities are truly endless. So we just need to enjoy like this little bit of peace and quiet. Even though the stories today, like are pretty good. They're pretty good.

For a Friday. Obviously as a celebrity podcast, you know, I do often go to the U.S. Open. And one of my favorite things is like seeing other celebrities there, especially when, you get like later on in the like the semifinals. It's like a real star-satted affair. It's like front row at a Chanel fashion show. So who do you think is going to be there?

I mean, I feel like Taylor and Travis had like an iconic U.S. Open. I could totally see them being there again. Obviously the tennis greats, page ball. The tennis greats. Of course. I wonder like, that's definitely like a polymarket. Like who's going to be at the U.S. Open for sure.

Yeah. Yeah, they do have that. Wait, actually yes. And you know what? Olivia Jade. There's a high percentage. She better. And she lives in New York.

And then like New York great. It's Carl Anthony Towns, like a lot of the Knicks, even though I don't think they can go in there in season. Ben Stiller, you know, he doesn't miss a... Anna Wintour. Yeah, she's sort of guaranteed. But, like, the more... Like, when Taylor and Travis went to the U.S. Open, it was genuinely one of the most shocking things in her. Kylie and Timothy.

Oh, Kylie and Timothy are definitely going. Good times. The pictures are also just, like, insanely chic. There's something so... Obviously, celebrities go to sporting events all the time, but something about being photographed at a tennis. It's kind of like that page polyshetic is so sickening. Yes, it really is. Polymarket is now available in the U.S. app store.

can trade on culture, entertainment and more all in one place. Download the app, use Code Toast to get $20 to trade when you make qualifying $10 deposit. You know, actually this morning, my phone must know we've been like recently talking about Barstool a lot because I watched while I was getting ready to just like a long form clip. It was like a 10 minute clip of Deepport and I had a podcast talking about the whole Penn. It's actually a crazy story. I didn't know. And he was actually, I feel like I should read his book because basically like, you know,

Penn bought them for like an insane amount of money. They kept him on as like CEO. And then like a year or two into the deal, he goes to dinner with like the same. CEO and they literally fired him because they were going to end up taking Barstool Sportsbook, which was like Barstool's betting, whatever. And they entered into a huge deal with ESPN. So they were like literally like stripping Barstool for parts, firing Dave. They're going to end up firing all the people. And that's how he was able to like give them Barstool sports book, but buy Barstool back. It was kind of an inspiring business tale. Yeah, that is. And the way he

told it. I was like very much on the edge of my seat. No, it's insane that he sold it and then bought it for a dollar. Yeah. And I'm sorry. I remember one more thing I had to tell you. I had an idea for a Patreon that we're obviously going to do and I'm going to... Because this is going to be a major... Even though like Swirley Summer's over and we're not doing regular toasts, we still have four more episodes of Patreon. So there will be like pop culture catch-ups and fun vlogs. And I had the best idea ever. And I am hoping to do another shopping blog with you and or Margo.

Okay. Well, shopping, but in it, not in the way you might think. I got the... You were sitting next to me when I got like genuinely the craziest email last night. Let me pull it open. It was from Round Swamp Farm. And it said, Jay Shetty sent you a gift card. I thought it was spam.

at first. And there's no, it's like, it's literally a digital gift card from Jay Shetty. He's just like, thanks so much for always shouting us out on your show. I want to send you a little something for your swirly summer. Love team Jay Shetty. A thousand dollars to round swamp, which obviously is like four items. But I think we have to go to round swap. Let's go to round swap and spend $1,000.

I think we actually might have a hard time because even when we go like balls to the wall, we spend like $400. It's spending $1,000 at Round Swamp is. Courtesy of Jay Shetty. Like, that's my fucking king right there. That's like when we did that blog, spending a thousand dollars. thousand dollars at Barneys. We did that like in 2019. You guys will watch it. It's so much fun. And do you remember who sent me that $15,000 gift card to Barneys? Who? The foster

sisters. We like had done a partnership. They were like, they were like, um, at the time. I don't know if they still are, like, heavily involved in Bumble. And I did like an event or whatever with them. And like, they sent me a thank you gift card. And the Barnies was going out of business. So we really had to run to Barney's. And I ended up getting this pair of great Fendi boots that like were two sizes too small because everything was sold out. Barthys was going out of business. But I still have them. I got amazing fendie mules that are so cute. So thank you to the foster sisters and Jay Shetty for your generosity. I got like, you know, um, Munchausen's $1,500 to borrow you.

Yeah, right. Jackie spent her own money, of course. I was feeling like sympathy pains. Of course. Of course. It goes that saying like, I use the credit. Like if you have to spend $1,500 at Barnes, then so do I. And at that point it became like a business expense because we were vlogging it for

Patreon. Yes, exactly. But a thousand dollars at round swap is fun. And not that I had any plans to say anything negative about Jay Shetty because really like, I couldn't even muster up a negative for. What really could you say? This is a great way to engender goodwill with the toast. Money for food.

No, I have to tell you something about that, Jay Shetty. First of all. I really don't want to. Like, you don't have to send us money, everyone. No, you do, actually. You do. I love Jay Shetty. Obviously, because he sent us $1,000.

But, like, he's always, like, randomly, like, thinking of us. Like, I got an email from, like, somebody major at, like, Spotify. And they were, like, I met Jay Shetty. he was like singing your praise is like we'd love to grab coffee and I was like me like he's just like always kind of championing us I think he's kind of like our mentor yeah who's your mentor I don't have one probably God yeah I actually don't have a mentor and and that's probably where I am where I am where I am who's my mentor probably Brooks Nader don't you think who's your mentor like oh like Winif Paldro yeah I don't know if she would like consider me a mentee but I definitely

consider her a mentor. Does it have to be mutual in order for it to be real? Yes, it's sort of like, and I think you like ask, you like, you know, like a promposal. You ask. No, I think it like happens naturally. And then it's just like established that that's your mentor. Because Ben has a couple of mentors and he's never like been asked or asked. It just sort of happened naturally over time.

But I do think some people like have a formal ask. Well, I think that's weird. I know. Who's my mentor? I think that we don't have mentors and like maybe that's a problem. Okay. Now seeking mentor. Or high net with individuals, please send me messages.

With relevant experience. If you have money, like, I look up to you. No, I don't care how you made your money unless it's, like, selling guns overseas, you know. Or, like, nepotism, you don't want a nepo baby. Well, you can't really teach me anything. Right. You don't want Phoebe Gates to be your... Are we going to talk about that?

You don't want her to be your mentor? I just want to say, like, I need her to go to jail. I need her to go to jail just like so this saga ends. in a way that like I can appreciate I because because we were talking about what she did and we were like isn't that illegal it's like well yes it is actually yeah and when you break the law you go to jail there's precedent for her to spend up to 20 years now obviously I don't think that's necessary but like you know Lori Laughlin went away for less it's true like all Laurie Laughlin did was like cut the line for some like other brady kids like yeah but she like sends some fraudulent pictures over email so it's

wire fraud right but she didn't like steal money for money for money for anyone. And then there's also something to do with like taxes, right? Who? Fia or? No, with the, with the college admission scandal. I think they were making like charitable donations. Oh, that might be like tax fraud. In addition to like all the illegal activity being done like online, like wire fraud, mail fraud. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, so they went to jail and like Sophia Gates should do. Sophia Gates. What's her name? Phoebe. And why do I think it's So, oh, because the other girl. Yeah, right.

The other girl, Sophia and together, they're fee. I wonder if they'll be cellmates. Fia, not to be confused with Fifi, not to be confused. Correct. A lot of Fifi. Just something I'm hoping that happens. Well, we'll get into the details of why Fibi Gates might be going to jail. In the fast five stories.

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It's good to be listening and learning. Thank you, Turt Taylor's Nationwide. You're welcome. Our first story, Alex Cooper's Unwell Beverage Business is coming into a... engine that is keeping swirly summer going. I was saying like we talked about her every day this week. She's kind of like endlessly interesting. Yeah.

And her social media behavior is actually very strange to me. Oh, sorry. You tell the story and then I'll. Okay. But yes, Alex Cooper's unwell beverage business is coming to an end. Bloomberg reported yesterday that Alex's unwell beverage company will shut down following the sale of Halloween themed beverages this fall, citing sources from Target Corp, the brand's primary distributor.

The beverage company, Unwell Beveridge is, was launched in partnership with Nestle and was founded in 2025. If you don't know, the brand began with unwell hydration, a line of electrolyte focused drinks before expanding to include unwell focus, unwell protein, and unwell energy. Oh, I didn't know that they did any of those last things. I thought it was still just like the electrolytes. Honestly, like a creator brand not succeeding is really not a big deal.

It happens a lot. Like some things work, some things don't. But it actually is shocking that this is a product that was created by like one of the world's leading female podcasters in collaboration with the, Nestle. I don't think people realize how big Nestle is. Open up any product is owned by Nestle on the back. It's not just like Nestle chocolate. Like it's all in collaboration exclusively with Target. Like that's like actually crazy that it failed. And it failed kind of quickly. Yeah. What is it two years? It said it started in 2025, but that would mean it was only a year. No, no. That person's wrong.

At least 2024. Maybe it was like January 2025. That would be such a quick flop. Like yeah. And I feel like Alex Cooper like does a lot. And not all of it is. Like we talk a lot. Like we talk a lot about how the attempt to make Unwell, a podcast network was kind of a flop. But, you know, they still have shows and they produce, like, they don't close things down. I feel like to close something down is, like, sort of an admission that it didn't work. And I just, I've never known her to be like that. Maybe it was out of her hands. Maybe it was out of her hands.

Maybe it's like a Nestle thing. It's just insane that, like, if Nestle's your partner, like, you're a billionaire. Like, right. And also, like, they're making the drinks. They're selling, like, oh. It's no sweat off your back. So that is quite crazy. And then also it comes after the noose of the $500 million valuation.

but was also crazy. So, like, that came out. And this, she didn't announce this. No, this was like an investigative report. Somebody figured it out. Some snitch at Target. Like saying they're going to cease sales and production after Halloween. Yeah.

So the timing is obviously curious. I think that when you make big announcements like this, like you do just put a target on your back. Like, oh, wow, she's worth 500 mil. Let me take a look. And you're always going to find stuff. Like businesses have good parts and bad parts. I just find it like shocking.

Although, like, at it, core. It wasn't a good product because it's all about like wellness and hydration and it's literally called unwell. I think it actually really confused a lot of people as to what it was. But it's, I guess it's for those who are unwell. It's just confusing. It doesn't sound like something that's going to hydrate you and make you feel better. Like I think the name was actually really confusing. I never saw it outside of her bubble. Like I always saw it on her show. But I never saw it like really in the wild or anybody drinking it that wasn't at an event of unwell. So I feel like it never got past her. Yeah. And I think like not to be like mean, but I just saw like, you know,

takes online, I just think it didn't taste good. Oh. I saw a lot of that. I would have know. Me neither. I never tried it. It looked like legit as hell. It did.

So I'm just surprised. She was always hawking it. Oh my God. It was in the background of, like honestly it was actually an... Drinking it stories, doing the most, like the campaigns that you would do were just like... I think what she had like Kamala on. It was like literally next to Kamala. Like she had, whoever was in charge of like making sure it was in the background of everything

deserves a raise because it was fucking everywhere that she was. But also she'd do these like commercials for them that were like... Like skims level marketing. Yeah. They're like really high budget, like high production value commercials. Yeah. Where she was like playing a talk show host. Yeah.

Yeah. Hmm. Well, I think that the valuation of Unwell really didn't have a lot to do with the beverage because I honestly had forgotten about it. So I don't think that this affects like a big deal. Every time we talk about Unwell, like, which is often, we talk about the podcast, the shows. But we don't talk about the beverage. The movies. We've never talked about the beverage.

I actually forgot. Yeah. And I'm sure this is like no actual loss to her. because I'm sure Nestle fronted everything, and if anything, she only just stood to gain. So it's just like a little bit of stain on, like, the name. But, yeah, but you know what? When you're building a company that big,

like you have to find out what you're good at. Like, they weren't good at podcasting outside of Call Her Daddy, like creating shows. They're not good, I guess, like consumer product goods. That's fine. They're slaying at TV and movies. Like, you can be good at everything. So you've got to try stuff.

And I think they have actually found what they're good at. And I think they're going to end up, like, shutting down other parts of Unwell that they tried. and didn't work at. Like I think those podcasts should be looking for other work. Yes. For other networks. And there's been TV success.

But these movies are just announced. We haven't really seen anything. But to me, like, they have the makings of success. There's no reason why they shouldn't be successful. There's no reason that, like, this book that everyone is obsessed with we've been waiting for. Nina Dobrev, although I have my problems with her, like, is the star. It's guaranteed to be on Netflix. Like, literally, why isn't that going to be successful?

But it's not, it happened one summer, by the way. Oh, Piper's not her? It happened one summer? And I have one summer's not on one. Niam Robrev is doing another. Yeah, with like Paul Wesley, right? Unwell's doing Icebreaker. That's what I meant.

Whatever. It's going to be big. Like some things are actually like, yeah, sort of guaranteed to succeed. And I think, yeah, Icebreaker and all the books she's turning into movie shows

with like really A-list actors all on Netflix or Hulu. I think, yeah, she has found her niche and she should continue doing that. Yeah. And that's what Matt was doing before he met her.

So it's sort of just like actually fusing their talents. You've got to try different things. Not everything's going to work. Oh, hello. Like, remember when I was a DJ? Like, it's fine. You have to flop, as Viola Davis one said.

Yeah, she's just, like, has a lot of eyes on her. I know. And the timing just, like, couldn't be worse for her because I feel like she doesn't do a lot of public-facing things. That's what I was saying yesterday about the interview. And I saw on her Instagram yesterday, she's, like, doing these live events with Google. I feel like she's not very accessible. Like, you can't go see her in concert. Actually, you couldn't.

Yeah. And for, like, all of this, for the first time ever, like, kind of bad press to be happening while she's actively doing all this public-facing work. I feel like she's always sitting down with, like, business people for, for, like, for, for, like, panels? Yeah, panels. I guess. She's panels. She's also pregnant, so she could do nothing,

and it would be completely acceptable and understandable. Yeah, but I think also doing it pregnant, it's like, really? You want to go there? Yeah, right. I think that's what she was saying to Andrew. Yeah, but Andrew's a organ. Andrew didn't get the memo. And then she's also, and then I found her social media behavior.

You know what you're saying, like, you know, whenever you're like in a scandal or you don't know what to post, like you post your dogs? Yeah. She's now doing this thing with baby registries, which I think is amazing. Like I, the way that like, you know, every August, every influencer posts like a teacher's classroom, we should all be posting like the registries of expecting mothers. Like I actually love that. And she's probably spent like $100,000 clearing people's.

And it's so admirable. And I think it's like, but it's a little transparent. Like I'm getting all this negative stuff and like let me just like throw money at the mamas. But you know what? I'm down. Throw money at the mamas. Yeah. Because like if you're going to do a lot of like good will and charity, like you could do it in secret.

Oh, of course. Right. But no, I think it's like if all this leads to expect. mothers like getting their needs met. I'm not upset. I'm not upset. No, and I actually think it's like a trend that like should catch on. Yeah.

It's sweet. It is. So, Orovoire. Unwell. Unwell hydration. Unwell hydration. And protein? Question mark.

I didn't know they were doing protein. Yeah, sorry. Arrevoir. Arrewe. Arrewe. Rwell hydration. Orifor our well. That's hard to say.

Orifar. Unwell foundation. Oh, au revoir, Shoshana. Orovoire on well hydration. Beautiful. Title? It's a little mean. It is, especially because like...

Because we're like pointing out her flops when like... Yeah, when I could care less. I just... Like, this doesn't mean... I've cared less about her stuff. Not that I don't... I'm not invested. You find it interesting.

I'm interested. But like, I don't think this means much. No, me neither. I think people are like, she pulled the wool over. Patrick Whitesel's eyes. Yeah, sure. No, I really don't think... Industry veteran for 60 years old, she pulled the wool over his eyes.

I really don't think that the beverage was the source of the $500 million evaluation. And I have to imagine, Patrick Whitesell knows that it's being shut down. Yeah. You can't hide that for investors. Mm-hmm. Because then you'll land in Sophia. What's her name? Phoebe Gates' cell.

You know what? I'm going to treat you and move that story up. Yeah, kind of... You know what's today's episode title vibe? Confessions of a female founder. We're talking about of female founders. We are, but we might have already... title something that once. Because it's such a good title. Yeah. The punishment Bill Gates's

daughter, Phoebe, is most likely to face over Fia's cookie stuffing controversy. So New York Post wrote an article that Phoebe Gates is unlikely to face the maximum 20 years behind bars for the potential charges stemming from the cookie stuffing allegations engulfing her AI powered shopping at Fia. But she could get walloped with civil lawsuits and financial penalties if the claims are proven. So the crime that she committed carries a sentence of up to 20 years, there's like precedent for that. And also there's like, I don't know how they have their communications in the emails from the company, but they like knowingly.

But there's like proof that they knew that this was going on and continued to stuff cookies. So. So. So it's just like a crazy thing to be accused of. Do you feel like like this is sort of like ruined eating cookies for Phoebe Gates? Oh, for Phoebe Gates. I think you're going to say for me. And I was like, no.

Um, yeah. Like, cookies are ruined. Yes, punishment. Definitely. Cookie's stuffing, like being your big crime. It sounds like something like Santa does on Christmas Eve. She's not fat. It's so true.

Like, seriously, thank God. Now, I don't think she deserves to go to jail for 20 years, but like, I'm down for six months. Like, and I, you know, a lot of times, like, you know, celebrities get special treatment. Obviously, her dad's, like, the wealthiest man in the world. Like, there's literally no way she's going to jail. But, like, the same way that they really tried to, like, make an example. out of Teresa Judice and the Christley's. Yeah.

I feel that like, yeah. I don't feel that an example will be made of her. I think Bill Gates. No, but I'm saying I'm down. I think Bill Gates is too powerful. Like the Crisleys aren't powerful. Teresa Judice is not powerful. No, but the thing about like the Teresa Judice, which I feel is an important example,

is like while A, I actually believe she had no idea what was going on just because like she's genuinely dumb. Also, the only person she was really guilty of hurting is the government. and like I personally never care about that. Like if you're hurting the government, I actually empower you. And I think you're like wonderful and you should do it more. To take, it's just, no, I'm kidding. To steal from like other people or businesses, like that's legit crime.

Like that's crime.org. So it's a crime syndicate she was threatening. Yeah. Like I don't really care. Like she stole probably from like Zara, you know, like her affiliates. But that is stealing. Like that's against the law. And like, I don't know.

I find that more ethically wrong than I do defrauding the government. Yes. Same with the Christians. Like, even though I believe that Christleys were wrongfully convicted, but their crime was like they were accused of feeling from like a small bank. Like not like Chase, like a local. Local yokel. A local yokel.

Yeah, I just think that it's not that she's a celebrity and like they do like to make an example out of celebrities. Like I think Bill Gates could fucking crush that DA. Yeah, no, he like, he kind of runs this country. He could eat him for breakfast. Yeah, the odds of this going any further are extremely unlikely. But in case anyone was wondering where I stand, like I'm. Throw the book out. Yeah.

I'm like hoping that she gets the maximum sentence just because like, the maxman. By the way, I'm not hoping that she goes to jail. I just like, I just, why? No, I'm, obviously, I'm not hoping she goes to jail for like 20 years. That's like, but like, I don't need to learn her lesson. She needs to go away for five months.

Like, Felicity Huffman went away for a while. Yeah. Elizabeth Holmes. Jen Shaw. And Adelvey. Yeah. The great's before her. Even like house arrest.

Well, no, when your house is Bill Gates's house, that's like, actually unfair. Yeah. just need her to stop. Like, you know, I know, and this is why, like, if you are, like, a high net worth Nepo individual, like, stop working so hard. Yeah. To stop working so hard that it compels you to steal. I could see, not that I would ever co-signed, but I could see how, like, somebody who's, like, on the balls of their ass could end up committing crimes just to, like,

make ends meet or, you know. Fudge their numbers, investors. Investor Day is coming. We've got the holidays. Let's steal some traffic. They have so much, you know, riding on them personally, professionally. Like, this is a girl who's never had to worry about anything a day in her life. So like, seriously, why are you doing all that?

It's like low-key embarrassing. I don't know. And also, I feel like the previous story about Fia has been overshadowed by this cookie-stuffing incident, which was all the celebrity investors, like, who have egg on their face. Not only egg on their face, but, like, nothing in their wallet. Like, do you get your money back? I don't even care about their money because they have, like, a lot of it. Of course.

You know, you make a lot of investments and only one out of 20 is going to hit. Yeah. But it's like, did you even look at anything? Or you just saw, oh, Chris Jackson. and Priyanka Chopra and Alex Earl are in it and Bill Gates' daughter. Are you paying attention? Yeah. Not that I was asked, but I'm so glad because I got to see myself being like, oh, everyone's doing it.

Just to be included in the announcements. Egg on your face. Egg on your face, yeah. And yes, of course, when you are a person who invests frequently, you assume that the investment you're giving, you're never getting back. And for every one that you actually do get back, it pays for the others. But, like, you don't get it back because the company failed, not because the company, like, lied and cheated.

And literally, this was weeks after that investment round. Yeah. We just report on that. So. I'm so glad that like if I go back and watch an episode, I say then what I said now, like, I think it's weird. Yeah, no, this is like, we need to make a list. Especially because the concept of the app, like, was incredibly stupid.

We need to make a list of things that we were brave for saying that turned out to be true. One thousand. I'll start it. I actually love that because everyone now is like, and yeah, the app is stupid. But like, you all were like, look at these girl bosses. is investing. Brave for saying. What else?

Turned out to be true. And like whoever, you know, first figured out Jesse Smollett was lying. Like, they could have a list of that on their own. They can. What else were we brave for saying? A lot of times, like, I obviously think it privately, but sometimes I won't say it on the toast. I have a lot of things in my personal life that I was brave for. Yeah.

That turned out to be true. Yeah. But, like, we can't say it on the pod. But every now and then, like, I guess the true bravery is saying it. Exactly. And you don't get the points unless you say it. However, you're. might look like the world's biggest asshole.

If nothing happens. That's like, you know, at the time if anybody was like, and I really like Amanda Betula, you know? Of course. Yeah. We were not brave. We were not brave. But like, yeah, I thought she was weird.

But you were not brave. No, I wasn't. Everybody loved her. Everybody loves us. Also, like, the people who questioned Megan Markle publicly. Yes, that's so true. Sharon Osborne. The chickens have come home to Roos.

Mm-hmm. Are you ready for our next story? I know you never want to move on. But a little more women in business news. Shay Mitchell's company base sells in a $210 million deal. Shea Mitchell is ready for a new chapter in her entrepreneurial life as Samsonite has acquired her lifestyle travel bag brand base in a deal worth $210 million. This is a dream come true. She said, I'm so proud of what our small but mighty team has built over the past eight years.

As part of the deal, the majority shareholder Beach House Group is selling its entire 70% ownership stake for $147 million, while Mitchell is selling 15% about half. of her total equity for 31.5. Is that a dog? There's a dog in the studio. Romeo? Did you follow me home? No. She has 30, about 30%,

she sold half of it for 31.5 million dollars and we'll keep 15% ownership stake in base. Now valued a $210 million. Base will continue to operate as a standalone brand among the Samsonai portfolio following the completion of the transaction with Mitchell staying on as the founder and head of creative design for I'm smart. Like she, obviously, the company has exceeded her,

but she is sort of the engine behind it. I think this is so awesome. Like, I remember when she started it. And all the girls from Priddle Liars, like, we're still figuring out what they were doing. And she was doing, like, a lot of YouTube and a lot of, like, Instagram stuff. And then, like, this random luggage company,

it did feel kind of random. But you know what? It is so popular. Like, people are obsessed with it. I think that this is so cool. And Slay Mama, $30 million, like, yeah. Yeah, was that $30 million? Yeah, she got so much 30% of the company,

but she decided to say, sell 15. The other people who owned like 85% of it, or no, 70% of it, they sold the whole thing. Yes. So the company's worth over $200 million. She got 30 of it. And that's... And she still has a job and 15% should it get any bigger. But it is a so female founder. Like, yeah. Now that's a female founder. No, that's really, in like eight years, she never stopped. Like, she was hawking those suitcases. They also do those, like, really high production value commercials and lots of collapse. And they're very in tune with, like, social media and like their customers. I think this is great. Yeah.

Congrats. Like so jealous and happy for you. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just good shit. Like I have a couple. Like it's good shit. Yeah.

I used it for the hospital. It's good shit. It is. Like I guess there's a category that needed filling of like. Yeah. It's kind of like the new age less sports act. Like when we were kids like everybody had like that's sports act double or like Kippling, you know?

But now it's like it is the thing. Like if you're like a cool young girl, I think they're not insanely priced. They're like decently affordable. They're really cute. And the age of like Ramoa and stuff like they're a good price point. and it's kind of like the thing all the it girls have. Like you have the matching weekender and the suitcase and you travel and you go everywhere.

Like, yeah, everyone has it. Yeah. I have the big ones. I think I have the medium one. I like that they come to a laundry bag. In my day we used away. Right, right. No, they totally took over away.

Yeah. And I think when they launched, like away was still like the big name in town. Is it still? I use my aways that I have. So do I, but I don't buy new ones. Yeah, but that's also the thing about this category is tough. I saw like this Instagram that was like,

Shea Mitchell does $200 million in revenue a year and sold for $240 million. Haley Bieber did $200 million. And sold for a billion. And sold for a billion. But it's because you buy Haley Bieber's products every six weeks. And you buy new luggage every six years. Yeah. Yeah.

So I'll take the 30-mell. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, that's your taxes, of course. Are you ready for our fourth story? Taylor Swift has a solo night out in London as Travis Kelsey returns to Chiefs practice post-wedding. So Taylor Swift was spotted in London late Wednesday night, leaving Annabelle's a private members-only club around midnight in a floral, purple mini dress.

She seems to be sporting a bit of a haircut, a little middy hair. So classic, like right after your wedding, cutting her hair. She was, of course, not with Travis because he is training, but she is in London. Yeah, so I guess, like this week, they both decided to be seen. Obviously, he had no choice. She looks so cute. By the way, like, I love this haircut. Yeah.

I love the dress. the dress, of course, but like the haircut is good. Obviously, you have to wait until after your wedding to do a dramatic haircut like that just in case. Like, do you think she was inside Annabelle's like editing her wedding photos and getting ready to post them or now? No. No. No, I don't think she was. No photos for us.

No, no photos for us. Yes, interesting. She's in London. Like, obviously it's a cool place and like she like spent time there. But like I feel like, aren't you done with it? Like you're the Queen of America now. Get back here. Yeah.

And like, you spent a lot of time there. And London was there for you. Like when I think she was like hiding during reputation. Like I think she was in the UK a lot. Joe. You know, I love a London boy. And it's like, I feel that your time in London is over. Yeah.

Like, you are genuinely the queen of America. And if I'm Travis, not to say, then there's, like, trouble. Start stuff. That would be, like, you going to, like, Maverick's hometown. Yeah. Very similar. You know. That's not a good example, but I know what you mean.

It's just, like, that's where her past lies. Yeah. And we're living in the future. She's so much, like, lore. there and like in her music. And I just feel like she really doesn't need to be spending time there. We're living in the future. Yeah.

And especially like ever since she left London, she became like genuinely the most famous woman in America. Like American royalty. I feel like with the football and everybody's like propped her up. She married a Madison Square Garden. It's like, girl, come back. Yeah. Like we have clubs here too.

So many private members clubs. They open up new ones every week in the city. Like London is very similar to New York City, I would say. Yeah. And she was in New York City for a really long time. Even like latitudinally similar weather. Mm-hmm. Yes.

I've incorporated longitude and latitude in today's episode. So check. Yep. So five points for me. So I just don't know why she has to be there. Yeah, I'm not loving that choice. She should come to the Hamptons. I think she would like the Hamptons.

Well, where's training camp? Kansas City. Yeah, like at the stadium. Kansas City, Missouri. Kansas City, Missouri. I guess maybe she doesn't want to spend her summer in Kansas City. Or Missouri. But you got to be with your husband.

Like, yeah. Maybe it's just like a girl's trip. Who was the girl she was with? They said unidentified brunette female, like people don't know. That's crazy. And yeah, it's rare that, like, there's someone who's genuinely so private. I'm sure, like, hardcore swifties, no, but I have no idea, and neither to the media. Interesting.

Yeah. You know, I love a London boy I enjoy nights and bricks in shortage in the afternoon. He likes my American smile like a child when I eyes me. Darling, I fancy you. Took me back to high gate. Met of his best mate, so I guess all the room. is it true you know i love a london boy boy i fancy you are you ready stick with me i'm at me are you ready for our fifth and final story if it's our fifth and final story that's brought to you by opal

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Thank you, slash turt. You're welcome. Our fifth and final story is a little tech news. Instagram is going viral for introducing their new word. mark, which is the text-only logo that spells out the company's name. It's the only place on the app where you see the whole word Instagram, and then Adam Mossery of Instagram, shared the new font. He said, thought I'd share this on threads.

Oh, mine already just updated, like literally just now. At the top? Yeah. Let me see if finding. Okay. Okay. The thing is, I hate when people change shit. Like, seriously, fuck off.

Yeah. This is so small and in offensive. Like, I actually, like, I know. I might not have even noticed if I wasn't looking for it. It's like, don't change. Me too. Don't worry. We'll keep your secret.

We'll keep your secret. But Adam said we updated the Instagram watermark today, which is more than a decade old and felt dated. Nobody noticed, but okay. And like, genuinely nobody cared. And you shouldn't have even made it like a whole announcement. Yeah, because people might have not realized. I didn't even know what said Instagram up there.

At the top of right. I didn't even know what I was looking at. If I felt something we were different, I wouldn't even know what it was. I would just be able to maybe feel it, but not see it. Yeah. And then if people noticed it, then he should have said something. He said, we feel the refresh is sharper and more modern, but references the original and has the simplicity and craft that's always made at Instagram.

Like you guys. Like it's insane that this was someone's job. I know. And like you guys think like we care. We don't care. People are caring. People are like mad. I know.

I think it's like misleading because I saw it too and I'm like, oh great. Something I'm going to have to get used to. I think it's just misleading. It looks like a new logo for the brand entirely. It's literally one place tiny at the top of the app. Like I think people are upset because they actually don't realize how insignificant this is. Like the fact that we're even making the story is insane. I know, but that's what's buzzing.

I know. No, I know. I mean, everybody remembers. Like, I literally remember where I was when Facebook changed the layout of the homepage. Like, it was the most devastating day. What about when Instagram changed the app icon from like the old camera logo to the orange and pink? Oh, yeah. But do you remember when Instagram changed from chronological to like their random algorithm?

Like, you used to be able to like refresh your Instagram and like scroll until you saw what you saw yesterday. Like that, those were good times. Yeah. Then everybody's shit got seen. Now you're getting this mishmash. Oh my God. And I'm getting like AI generated videos of how to get. get rid of a cancassore.

Like, it's insane. Yeah. Bananas, by the way. Bananas get rid of them. Yeah. It really helps. Okay. Thank you for that tip.

Where would we be without it? And I can never see those tips when I have an active cancassore. You know? You are saying it looks like instigizam. Well, so it's like half cursive, which is pissing me off. Like the S is so cursive. And what else? The G are.

And the G is a little, is half cursive. I would say the top is not. The A is like not even connected. It's like, you can't be 50% cursive. It's like, are you cursive or not? I'm sure there was so many hours. hours. So many millions of dollars. So many people who decided which letters should be cursive, which shouldn't, and why. Have you seen all these viral videos of like teachers? One went really

about yesterday. It was teacher like getting really emotional about how we teach his seniors and like most of them don't know how to read or write. No, but I did see the front page of the New York post. Last week it was about like the reading levels in New York. Oh no. This is a this wasn't in New York. That the kids can't read. Like most high school seniors, like, cannot read or write a paragraph. What? Yeah. I was reading all about it this morning. And then all these other teachers chiming and being like, no, no, my kids can't read.

What's... Who do we blame? Yeah, where can I place blame? I have no idea. I see people in the comments talking about this program, no child left behind, and how it actually left all the children behind. I don't know if that's like a political statement. I have no idea what that is, but that's what people in the comments are saying.

Okay. And, like, that's, like, the literacy crisis work... I mean, I've seen those videos go viral on TikTok where, like, people go around their schools and they write, like, a complicated. sentence and they ask like the different kids to read the sentence and most of them can't pronounce the words in the sentence and they're not easy but they're not like a senior should be able to and it's like oh that's bad but I think it's more widespread than we realize all these teachers are now like all these teachers are not making TikToks um well that doesn't really like sound

helpful maybe it's not a TikTok it's like a video testimonial oh okay because I saw it on TikTok okay because like but they could also be TikToks why are you TikToking yeah I also have like a hot take about teachers who tick-tuck but i'm not in the mood to start with the teachers no don't seriously don't love you all wishing you the best like seriously do not come from me i i feel like some blame can be placed on coven yeah some blame can be placed on technology i think a lot of like schools don't like the kids don't write anymore with pen and paper it's like a lot of typing and i think that it's all connected right you have to write you have to in order to read you have to write and typing is not writing yeah but there's definitely more more things that we're

we should blame. A thousand percent. I just feel like placing blame. I think we should obviously blame B.B. Gates and add that to her sentence. But that's really crazy and that's really sad. I know. The video was so sad. The teacher was like crying.

He's like, I just can't believe it. I gave them an assignment to like read and write a paragraph and they couldn't do it. But like I want to know more. Yeah, I know. Like where does that issue? It's like they're still teaching reading and writing, right? So are the children? So are the kids dumber or is it teaching getting worse?

Or are the children not paying attention? Do they refuse? Is it a behavioral issue? It's definitely a lot of that. Like kids cannot pay attention. Because of screens. Yeah. Let's have into Queenie and Ween are our final segment of the summer.

Queenie and Weenie is where Jackie and I just like to tell a lot of words to two people. People, places or things. You know, it could be a, like, a concept. Where you act like a Queenie this week. You might be Queenie of the Week and you act like a weenie this week. You're definitely going to be Weenie this week. And it comes as no surprise to my weaning is going to be. So let's start with Queenie in a positive sense.

Jack's. My Queenie of the Week is the Queenie of the Week. Miss Acquired style. Yeah. That's Mrs. Acquired. McHale now. Agreed. Amazing wedding.

Amazing rollout. Amazing energy. Amazing sisterly bond. Love was in the air. Sleigh, Mama. Slea, Mama. Amazing dress. I totally agree.

It's Acquired's week. Yeah. It's Acquired's week, period. Yeah. She crushed her wedding. Now, we need of the week. Actually, mine is also related to... I had a couple, but I was thinking about

this over the course of the weekend. I realized I didn't go hard enough when we covered it on the show and I wanted just like a lot some time to the girls who were blackmailing, acquired and her sister, I feel that they didn't get enough hate. Their names are like Brooke and Lou or whatever. And they claim to be like huge acquired fans.

And I was actually reading screenshots of like the messages between the girls and that was your queenie. Acquired. I agree with you. That was yours? Of course. Of course. And I feel that like when you act weird and inappropriate,

We let people get away with too much. When you read these messages between these two girls, we're like, we love you so much. Yeah, we'll take it down. But we need Fifi and we need two because one for Brooke. She's a medium. Like, it is actually sociopathic. And of course, the girls handle these two mental patients like with kid gloves. And they were like, yes, of course.

Would you get the photos? Please take it down until they get what they wanted. But I hope they send them a box full of poop. Like these girls don't deserve shit. You're such losers. Like, you are freaks. You guys are freaks. You actually need to get off the internet.

And what you did was like low-key eating. evil and you're also like extorting these girls the day after her wedding like I feel that we all collectively as a society breeze past these super fans who are by the they're not anonymous also now that acquires it's you or whatever your name is now that acquired's photos are out like it doesn't matter if they post them or whatever like they shouldn't send it oh my god acquired I know you listen to the show and it's like but now I have your address thanks do not send like I know you were doing what you do not send like we don't negotiate with terrorists and you two girls like you are freaks you are real losers And you need to stop.

Like, that's insane behavior. It really was freaky. And, like, how we're all being like, oh, yes, please. We'll send you whatever you want. Just let us get the pictures. It's like, I know they wanted to get the information and get the photo down. But, like, I can't believe how we're negotiating with these actual freaks. Now they need to pull a psych.

Sike. Don't send them the stuff guys. Like, and if you do, send it with, like, dog poop in it. Like, yeah. I'm sorry, you can't act like that and get what you want. It was crazy behavior. And so, like, did they find the source of the leak? I mean, if they did, they haven't shared it.

Like, but it wasn't clear. No, but these girls claim to be huge fans We're like, we just love the dress We wanted to show everyone It's like, shut the fuck up! You knew what you were doing. You wanted to be viral for one second Because you're starving for attention.

I find that a lot of people on the internet are starving for attention. Like, I see so many things on the internet. I'm like, why would you do that? Why would you post that? Why would you say that? Like, what are you doing? I know.

And it really, they want attention so badly. And there's something wrong with wanting attention, but like to be so obvious in your pursuit of it? You can want attention to be starving. Yeah. Starving out there. But I sent you that really weird thing, remember? What?

About, I don't want to say it because, like, I happen to actually like this girl. But, like, the internet makes people, even people I like and respect. Wait, where can I find it? In our messages? Yeah, in our group chat, I had sent you about the, you know what I'm talking about? Whatever. Hold on, wait. I'm looking.

It was like a black and white text. Hmm. I don't know. Okay, whatever. I'll tell you there. Like, yeah, I think people who are normally like sound of mind. Yes, yes, yes, yes. or even normal in real life.

Like, they start acting. Like, you do things and say things on the internet. You would actually never do in real life because you know that it's weird. But, yeah, the desperate pursuit of attention is making people forget how to act human. Yeah. Bring back shame. Bring back embarrassment. No, bring back having, like, people in your life who give you attention so that you don't need to turn to the internet.

Who's your weenie? Oh. Who is my weenie? I got sort of carried away. So many candidates. Let me go back to my files I'm surprised why she doesn't winery I guess I don't want

I feel like we need is too strong of title For like who I think was like Did a weenie like thing this week And I don't want to say it Why come on Say it Even though like By the way say it

No because I don't even know if she did it Like on purpose Okay fine You know So once again just to confirm you don't have a weaning I just it's such a strong word Weenie's a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you. Okay, fine.

Classic Jocks. I can do two weenies. Sophia Gates. Of course. But I do think she's already been a weenie for this crime, and that's double jeopardy. True. You can't be tried for the same crime twice. And she hasn't done anything new this week.

It's just the 20-year sentence came out. That's true. Okay, fine. So that's why. Not only did you not give a weany. You actually did, you stopped denying. You denied me. My second wiening.

I'm defending weanies. It's been amazing swirly summer. Hope you guys enjoyed. Check out the Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.com slash a toast for all of your needs. We'll be back September 8th right after Labor Day. But again, tons of content on the Patreon, whether it's, you know, blogs, trips to the Cape. Check out Patreon.com slash a toast.

One day we are going to vlog a trip to the Cape. For sure. Manifest. The emoji of the day. Manifest. Has to be something about like female founders. No. It's a sun for swirly summer.

Fine, fine. At a glance, swirly summer is coming to an end. If you enjoyed your swirly summer swirling alongside us. Leave a sun emoji. And by the way, doing the middle finger was like, they were all hidden. Love that. Thank you so much listening to the toast of a morning show. We deliver the fast five stories.

You need to remember the Friday on YouTube. Fuck you for that. Wherever we listen to podcast, find that tells you a five-star review. I'm going to be able to studying a quickly town to go. New outro. Hope you guys have an amazing day. Whatever. And we'll see you.

Fuck you for that. We'll see you the Tuesday after Labor Day. Have a great rest of summer. And not a minute sooner. Be safe. Yes. Wear sunblock. Drink lots of water.

Have an outshine bar. Don't drink and dry. Definitely don't unless you want to be like we need. of the century over here. Yeah. And we love you and we'll see you in September. Bye.