The Toast - Billion Dollar Dookie: Tuesday, February 6th, 2024

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

King Charles' prognosis is 'good,' cancer caught 'very earlier' (Page Six) (28:22)Taylor Swift Shares Tracklist for "The Tortured Poets Department" (Variety) (39:20)Justin Bieber grabs the spotlight at NHL All-Star Weekend (58:25)Inside Madison Square Garden's bizarre feud with Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson (Page Six) (1:02:55)Tinx shares controversial birthday dinner etiquette opinion (NY Post) (1:10:58)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to The Toast and happy Tuesday! Oh my god, you guys, today is just... It's giving Monday for me. It's giving rebirth, regenesis, renewal. I'm alive. In the words of Celine Dion, I'm alive!

Hey Jax, how you doing? That's in the words of Sia. Oh. No, but there isn't... There's a Celine Dion... Yeah, I'm alive! That's in the words of Sia oh no but there isn't there's a yeah I'm alive oh yeah words of Celine Dion when you look when you look at me sorry got my my queens of pop your icons confused hi turtledoo today's very exciting because you're feeling better I'm in my flun stage which just means I'm so close to the end. And we're majorly twinning,

which is so perfect for being back in studio. We're coming back with a bang as twins. Okay, we're coming back with a bang. We are both wearing pink, which I think I've realized is one of my colors. I don't want to get into that again, but I think it is. I stole this outfit from my friend Molly.

Like literally, it's one of the hardest things to get. You have a friend, Molly? Yeah, Jackie, I do. And you're's one of the hardest things to get. You have a friend Molly? Yeah, Jackie, I do. And you're about to, you're going to know her too soon. Like she, like you're going to love Molly. You stole it from Molly? Yeah. From her house?

She like let me borrow it. And then she was like, no, you can keep it. I'm like, okay, I will. Who's Molly? Jackie, she's my friend Molly. I told you about her. You did, but like why would you be wearing her clothes? What do you mean?

Like, that's what friends do. No, but not unless like you were at her house. Oh, when I was in Fort Worth. Oh, okay. Molly is who I was visiting in Fort Worth. One of my many Fort Worth friends. And this is the Aviator Nation x Barbie collab. It's like really hard to

come by and she was like so gracious to give it to me and like I'm gonna wear it yeah that's so nice you're we're kind of just like obsessed with Barbie Jackie I was just gonna say we're turning into like a Barbie stand show for sure except that is like a small beef that I have with Barbie is like we can we can like pink like outside of Barbie too you know they don't Barbie didn't invent pink I do think though that this specific shade is like licensed and owned. It's like a fancy color. There is a color of Barbie pink. I think this is it. No that's not it. Okay. But just really quickly back to my health. I am feeling so much better. I started an antibiotic yesterday and I went to the doctor. One thing about me like it it's going to take me a year to go to the doctor. Like if I just went to the doctor on day one, I wouldn't have had to miss the show yesterday.

Sure, but like you don't need to go to the doctor when you have a cold. But when things are getting bad and they're not getting better, then you go to the doctor. So your girl has sinusitis, which is thankfully not contagious.

So Ben has been like avoiding me all week. And now he can, you know, rest easy knowing he can take care of me without getting sick and compromising his own health. I just feel like husbands and wives like avoiding me all week and now he can you know rest easy knowing he can take care of me without getting sick and compromising his own health I just feel like husbands and wives like avoiding each other to not get sick like get in the trenches with me you're getting sick I feel with it it's actually unfair of me that's a mischaracterization Ben has been so fabulous

like really taking care of me every want and need rubbing my back my feet my feet. But like he won't like kiss me, you know? Well, maybe that's just because it's gross. But I feel like when someone in the house gets sick, like we're, there's no trying to stay apart. Okay, that's how I feel. That's how I feel when I'm sick. But when Ben's sick, like I will be going on vacation. Like goodbye.

Okay, well, if you leave the house, you leave the house. But when we're in house, like the idea of like separating in an apartment, give it up the house, you leave the house. But when we're in-house, like the idea of like separating in an apartment. Give it up. Let everyone be in the bed. I also. Damn, she cut me off for nothing. What the fuck was I going to say?

Cut me off for nothing. Wait. I also. I have no idea. It's going, going, gone. Maybe you have that COVID brain fog. Well, I didn't have COVID, just like, to be clear. I have sinusitis.

But like, what if you did have COVID? Like, you have to remove the stigma. Yeah, no, COVID is like the flu. Like, you get sick. It's like every year, for sure. But I'm just saying, like, I didn't have it. Like, facts are important here. Was Ben jealous that you had sinusitis because sinuses are kind of his thing?

It's so true. Like I don't think I've ever had a sinus infection in my life. And Ben gets them once a week and he doesn't shut the fuck up about them. I do want to say like I have a lot of sympathy now. It's really not ideal. But Ben literally had sinus surgery. You don't feel like now you could be like, well, I had it. So you're fine. You know, I know what it's like not ideal but you don't really had you don't feel like now you could be like well I had it so you're fine you know I know what it's like and you're fine no because I wasn't

fine and I was like really dramatic I almost made Ben take me to the emergency room on Sunday like I was really not okay but I don't mean to you know reflect on the negative times I am feeling so much better and I'm at that stage of I'm not I'm not a hundred percent and I have this thing where whenever I start to feel better I like go a hundred% and then I get sick again because I didn't let myself fully recover so I need to recover but I'm just at the stage where I'm like I really will never ever take my health for granted again it's so empowering to be healthy and to get up and to be able to like do your job and clean your home and like what things. Yeah. And I'll never take that for granted again. I'm feeling so blessed to be here.

I'm so blessed to be in studio. Blessed to have clips today. Like I, health is just, you know, I feel like we all take our health for granted. Like we just wake up every day and our health, most of us, God, you know, God willing, we just wake up and are healthy and we can, you know, move. I couldn't move.

So what are you going to do differently going forward to preserve your health oh well I got my blood work done while I was at the doctor yesterday just to make sure everything else was in order and the good news is that my very well it wasn't very but like my high cholesterol has come down in the last nine months due to my you know obsession with exercise which was one of the impetuses for me starting to exercise nine months ago my doctor was like, your cholesterol is really high. And I was like, no, it runs in my family.

I'm not doing anything wrong. It just runs in my family. And they were like, no, you should start exercising, Patty. And I was like, oh, okay. So I did. Yeah, high cholesterol does run in our family, but you could also compound that. Yeah, yeah.

So I'm kind of have perfect cholesterol now, which is really exciting. You have low cholesterol now? Not low. Good. Good. Good. Your girl is vitamin D deficient.

Like, okay. She needs a D. Ben! Ben, she needs a D! Wow, that's literally not what I thought you were going to say. I thought you were going to say, oh, she needs to come visit me, vitamin D. With her husband. Okay, who is sound machine.

Wait, no, vitamin D is the sun, no? Yes, it is. Okay, okay, okay. No, I do. Me and my husband need to come fuck in your yard. On one of your new lounge chairs. I have new outdoor furniture and it has covers built in. So go to town.

Perfect. I need you guys to leave the premises. Maybe take the kids to, you know. Local park. Whatever. The library. So me and Ben can become undeficient. So you can get the D.

So me and Ben can become sufficient. Wow, that was like one of the dumbest things I've ever said. Undeficient. Classic. And like we're back, which is so exciting. There's such great stories today. Like Hannah not being in studio for like, we have such, like we have over. Yesterday was, it was definitely a loss for the community that we weren't in studio yesterday.

If you didn't listen to yesterday's episode because you're a video swirly, like you absolutely need to go listen like for context for today's episode. So we have like spillover from the Grammys. We have more stories. Like, I cannot believe King Charles has cancer. Like, there's so much to unpack. We're alive. It's just, we're alive, Jax.

And we're wearing pink. We're wearing pink. We love Barbie. We're the number two podcast in comedy today. We are the number two. Who's number one? Smartless. Rats.

Fuck them. But like Jackie, we are alive. Like I just need everyone to take a moment. I know life is hard and things are really like for anyone today. Today's maybe not the best day of someone's life. Someone's not having like the same experience that I'm having. If you keep going on this train of thought, we're going to have to switch categories to inspiration.

But when the baseline of your happiness is your health like the bar is so much lower like oh my god like could i complain about a thousand things yes but like the super bowl is this weekend i'm seeing my sister on saturday like i'm gonna cry i feel so happy and so blessed like i am alive bitch you don't understand what it has been like like i'm alive no i was sick too no but not to the point where i was sick makes like never put me like fully on my back you know what i mean where i was like cancel my calls call cancel the clips cancel the clips yeah i canceled my whole day yesterday yeah that's good no i'm glad that you're back it's gonna be a great week it's already been a great week we're number two I mean it would have been better if we were number one but again like I can't complain no Claudia appreciate number

two because our days are numbered Joe Rogan is coming back we'll never see this again unless like we have a major announcement we're gonna have to be super creative but by the way our days are numbered our days are fucking numbered first of all and second of all like i really feel like joe rogan should move to health like he's always talking about like carnivore diets and shit like he is he's also a comedian and he has on so many comedians yeah but he has had a lot of doctors too i'm just i'm putting it out there i think for the sake of the podcast ecosystem like Joe Rogen needs to excuse himself from this category. For the sake of society people's minds like heads would fall off if he was in the health category and they couldn't chalk up what he says to comedy.

Oh it's so true. There would be like protests in the street. Who am I to you know invalidate another comic's identity. It's true. But maybe like his health episodes could go to the health category. I don't think he should do that. Maybe it should be like that. No, but Joe Rogan can do whatever he wants. So true. Joe Rogan invented podcasting.

So true. So put Huberman in the health episodes. You know, we need to start some beef with Huberman. Like, I'm over Huber over humor men too like get out of the charts bitch like who are you in the health leave him don't touch him he's not in comedy no but actually i only go after comedians i weirdly um like follow a huberman health tip like i heard it a million years ago it was somebody regurgitating it i feel like it was probably lauren bostick and i saw it in like a clip or an instagram story of hers where like Like I heard it a million years ago. It was somebody regurgitating it. I feel like it was probably Lauren Bostic.

And I saw it in like a clip or an Instagram story of hers where like Huberman Diaries, whatever it's called. Huberman Lab. By the way, that's, there's two things I can never get the name of correctly. Huberman's podcast and Taylor Swift's new album, The Dead Poets Society. Like I can't. So he basically was like, you should really not drink your coffee first thing in the morning and ever since i started like drinking okay

i don't know why like what the reasoning was but it was just like the first thing in your body like shouldn't be your coffee like wake up brush your teeth like do things and then your coffee okay i do brush my teeth i'm disgusting no no but like some people have water yeah or like just like do more things before you have your coffee that was what it was and so now i'm like having my coffee now you know yeah huberman once said something in a clip that i saw that i thought was good advice and it seemed to make sense like but not that i could implement it every day which is that like you should get out and get vitamin d sunshine before 10 a.m it's good for the circadian rhythm. I just feel like everything Huberman says is like kind of obvious. So every time I like take

Bruno out before 10 a.m. Huberman loves this. This is such a Huberman, a Huber moment. Huberman coded. No, like honestly, I don't want to start beef with Huberman, but, like, the two things we've just said, like, duh. Like, it doesn't sound like they're, like, that smart. No, but it's about saying them and packaging them up into a clip and repackaging them, you know? Yeah, no, it's all about branding. We should have Huberman on. I feel like he could give us Huber tips tailored to us.

Huber tips. You know? Yeah, like Huber tips tailored to us. Huber tips. You know? Yeah. Like Huber mantras. Yeah. Of course, you know, cold plunge.

Right, right, right. Zach wants to get a cold plunge. You definitely should. Yeah. Once I'm like

in more of my health and fitness era, which is really any day now, you guys. It's around the corner. Stay, stay woke.

No, no. What did you say last time it's over for you bitches your day's remembered it's not stay woke it's like stay alert stay alert stay pressed yeah stay mad coming coming she's back yo she's back yo with my cold plunge and a goal of mine not any time in the like immediate future because i don't have the time yet but i do want to start an herb garden i never promised you an herb garden because because here's the thing about herbs when you need them you don't have them and when you have them you don't need them and they get moldy in the fridge like I never use the herbs I buy from the store and when the recipe calls for in herb I don't got it let me tell you about herbs like I love the idea of you starting in herb garden but I think maybe an easier

place to start I saw this I think once on like Kelty's story and then like Matt James got one they're like these um those let us grow let us, it's like fugly, but it feels really functional. It does. I just feel like I have a yard and I can maybe I'll start. I'll dabble with let us grow. But I was also hoping I could solicit tips from people like are there accounts I should follow or books I should be because I have no I don't know where to start. We need to talk about accounts you follow.

Jackie, and you probably don't follow them. You probably just like get served their content, but you always always share them with me which I can't thank you enough for um Jackie has been served content by like this true like true trad wife homesteading content type of accounts the names of these accounts that she sends me the modernity and femininity like yeah so cringe like modesty and femininity i'm getting like modest workout outfits now how you can go to the gym in a modest manner which is kind of true like workout outfits have gotten to be really skimpy and i might want to have a modest approach sometimes yeah um love that for you i could see you going to the gym in like a full

no but the thing is they weren't even like head to toe covered it was just like a little more modest you wouldn't even recognize and be like oh that's a modest gym goer you'd just not be like hey there's her ass but no but this is like the sourdough to modesty pipeline. Like that's how it starts. I know, but I also saw another TikTok reel about another guy whose wife now has chickens. They left the city a year and a half ago. And it's like, oh, I'm actually not original. I'm just a cog in the machine once again.

And it's just churning out a homesteading trad wife. No, it's the sourdough to like making your own electricity pipeline. Like it starts with bread and it ends with like a full sustainable farm and what's the problem there no nothing it sounds like a wholesome life i've also recently learned that chickens don't smell oh what about their shit that's like bruno that's like bruno how is bruno i can't wait to see him. Baby boy Streisand is doing incredibly well.

He's having cabbage for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He's here and he's beautiful. Yeah, he's really quite special and he's excited to see his auntie. No, I'm so excited. Like I said, like there's just a lot to be looking forward to, a lot on the horizon today. Also, speaking of what's on the horizon, something that I want to talk about is this new cruise ship. I'm glad you brought it up. Like, honestly, it was kind of the elephant in the room on today's podcast. Jackie has fallen head over heels in love. You literally need to start writing for the points guy. They have a whole cruise ship department.

Like, you're one of these people who's obsessed with cruises. It's not me. I'm being served the icon of the seas. This new Royal Caribbean cruise ship new royal caribbean cruise ship which is the biggest cruise ship that's ever cruised i think it has like seven different like parks and i just get videos of this cruise ship and it's like it's really impressive i could never go on a cruise ship in my life because i have motion sickness so they're kind of like hitting up the wrong girl i'm sorry but if i was like the wrong tree if I was cruise ship curious I'd have booked my tickets

I do feel like a cruise is kind of like the place for me um just in terms of like aesthetics it's I love being on the ocean I love swimming I'm such a I'm a real water sign in that sense um I know they have like a lot of buffets a lot of casinos and a lot of water slides like that's me i feel like i would fit in perfectly on on a cruise i have never been on one because growing up like it wasn't even an option for us jackie like so motion sickness and now i feel like i might be like a little too old but i know i think you're at the right age i think you would love it like you said like you're in the middle of the ocean. The views are unparalleled. There's basketball courts. There's theaters. Everything you could want. Oh, I mean, there's karaoke.

There's cabaret. Like there's so much musical theater on a cruise. It's really kind of built for me and my interests. I think you should go on one. And now they do like the celebrity cruises. And I'm sure you could even get paid. They're really fancy. No, but like you could get paid to go on a cruise.

I have been offered to get paid to go on a cruise. It wasn't enough money for me. Like for real this is a business not a charity and also we had been offered a little while ago right before covid right before covid to do a toast cruise which we thought about really really hard at the end of the day it was going to end up being really expensive like for people to buy a ticket and we didn't think it was going to be like worth it for like it wasn't the right deal for us um but we thought about it because like you know you've made it like Weight Watchers Backstreet Boys like when you have your own cruise a toast cruise would be peak of living the toast cruise I can't even imagine I would only do the toast cruise and get my ass on a cruise ship if it's icon of the seas

of course I do want to say it is kind of weird now that i'm thinking about it like if you go on a cruise like you literally don't swim in the ocean well hmm what if you like dock yeah of course then you have to go to a local beach or whatever yeah you go to a local beach being on a cruise is like being in the ocean for a week without once touching the water kind of weird no you can't just like jump off the side in a an official capacity yeah not like a man overboard yeah in an official capacity no i don't think you can what's the word for fun like for i know wait i wait i know i know the word you're looking for hold on please helpreational. You can't jump off the side in a recreational fashion. I don't think you can. That's a plot hole.

It's a, it's a, yeah. Yeah. But I think it's Royal Caribbean, Icon of the Seas. Great job. If you want to, I wonder how many people can fit on it. Thousands. It looks like a hundred thousand. It literally looks like a hundred thousand people can fit on that boat.

It does. It might be too many. It does. By the way, I feel like there's so much hype around the icon of the seas it's giving titanic well that's also why i was thinking maybe i'm personally drawn to it oh because the titanic was do you think maybe you're having like a premonition no no no no i think i kind of the seas i think it's great great. I think it's, it's going to be amazing. And you think it's safe? I think it's safe. But I think like the thing that pulls me towards the Titanic is the same thing

pulling me towards icon of the seas. Like your girl loves a cruise ship. Yeah, it's true. Maybe. Are you a water side? No. And you know,

I hate water. I hate swimming. Jackie. Yeah. You're not like a fun person to go on vacation with in that sense. In that sense. Yeah. If you're looking for a swim buddy, no.

Yeah, like someone to play like Tishy Bumpers with in the pool. No, I will rate your handstand. From the lounge. From dry land. Tishy Bumpers is an Oshry family pool game that really needs to become more mainstream. Yeah, but how can we vlog it underwater? You can vlog underwater.

And also, I can't really explain the game like it really it needs a visual aid right no there's no explaining it's a visual thing yeah it's a sensory experience it's so much that's like the new word for kids like sensory sensory yes yes it is what the fuck does it even mean having to do with one's senses i would imagine it's giving fake word wow it's giving you know what i mean no it's giving like new age word that has 11 different meanings yeah also another one overstimulated for kids it's in the same category yeah we were over censored yeah like what's the difference? Unsure.

And I just would like to know, like, back in the day, what word did they use that we now call over-stimulated? Just like nuts? Yeah, I think it's like words we're not allowed to use anymore. Oh, really? I think. No, because over-stimulated is just a temporary state of being. When there were too many toys, things got too crazy.

Yeah, in the traditional sense, but I think there are like. Oh yeah, there are chronic. There's chronic. Yeah, that's like ADD. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what word are you thinking? I don't know. I feel like I really don't want to go down this like pipeline.

I feel like. Okay, I was just asking. We're headed for disaster with this conversation. I'm just, what did this pipeline. I feel like we're headed for disaster with this conversation. What did you say? I feel like we're headed for disaster with this conversation. I really felt like it was a totally innocuous conversation. It's just about the changing of language over time. We do love to talk about the changing of language over time and how the internet changes the meanings of words.

Yeah, like genocide. Well, of course. Manifest. Of course. Bully. like genocide well of course um manifest of course bully of course yeah there are some that are should we start a list we should but they're different they're separate lists we need to break out sessions because there's some that are just like overused and under understood and like not understood yeah and it's just an exaggeration. But like you could say dead. Like when I'm saying I'm literally dead right now. I was so sick. I was like, no, you weren't.

You were. And also the word literally. Literally. Means anything but. Exactly. Literally. Literally. You know what word I've been loving?

I wonder if you could notice. And no, it's not nefarious or elk. And then I'll tell you what word you've been loving, even though you didn't ask. Emblematic. No, but that's a great one. I used it this morning on a FaceTime. No, I've been loving saying classic.

You have been loving saying that, and you couldn't be later. No, I used it when it came up, you know, when i was in high school classic jacks when you were in high school high school when she was in high school but i'm loving it again i'm so glad you're having a classic stuff you have been saying classic a lot what word have i been loving low-key really i feel like i've Like I kind of always said that Okay maybe

But you're saying it a lot Right now Even if you said it a lot Back then Low key I've been saying it a lot Low key you've been saying It a lot And low key I've been saying

Classic a lot That's so classic Low key Just something to think about I feel like We low key Have to get into the stories Unfortunately

Even though I'm having So much fun with my sister and best friend. That's classic us. Low-key it is. So without further ado, here are the Fast Five Stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by Quince. Who doesn't love the good things in life? Even though we enjoy a little luxury, it doesn't mean that we can always afford it or want to pay that price until we discovered Quince, our go-to for luxury essentials at affordable prices.

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You're welcome. Our first story, big big sad royal news when i climb into bed i start feeling sad because king charles's prognosis is not very bad his prognosis is good they've caught the cancer early yesterday the palace announced that charles had been diagnosed with an unspecified form of cancer while undergoing a procedure for benign prostate enlargement last month. So we knew that he was going in for his prostate procedure. They found a cancer during that time. The palace is saying that prognosis is good.

They caught it very, very early. But of course, this is cause for concern. Prince Harry has run back to the UK to be alongside his father at this time. So crazy, by the way. I just like, we're used to Queen Elizabeth, who, you know, didn't so much as fart during her entire reign. It was just, she kept getting older and older,

and everybody was so concerned, and she just kept doing more and more. And then even when she died, she like wasn't even dramatic about it. It wasn't like an illness. Like she just died. Yeah. She passed away.

Yeah. So like peacefully, I assume, and just like low-key of her very classic her so this was just like new for me when i saw it i was like oh my god he's gonna die but like he's not he's not but like in my mind i'm like that it like would be how this story ends right he waits his whole fucking life to be king he wants it it's not like he's one of these monarchs who doesn't want it like he desperately wants it and he gets it and he dies yeah it is very biblical in a sense if it were to go that way but i think that he will be fine as they said they caught it very early and i'm sure he has routine checks all the time yeah so they would have caught it early and he has the best care in the world and I do think that he will be okay but it's just you know

something to note and something that he has to share with the people because he's a public figure it is hard with that level of health care to be like caught off guard with like a cancer stage three like when you have that sort of like around the clock top tier medical health care like they're gonna find whatever is coming super super early it's like an enormous privilege of being a royal yeah which is why there aren't royals who get like one day diagnosed with a stage four cancer and die in a month you know that like doesn't happen now now so this is crazy I also feel like as a royal do you have to share like he said he was sharing it because you know this is crazy. I also feel like as a royal, do you have to share? Like he said he was sharing it because, you know, this is like a thing for men.

Like get checked. Same with like women. The prostate. With breast cancer. Right. Like it's almost like a social movement to share these types of things to encourage other men not to forget to go get checked. And it's like awkward because it's like in your butt, huh? But like you should.

Yeah. So they said that he was sharing it for this particular reason. do you know do you have to do you have to share about the prostate do you have to share any sort of medical updates with the public i don't know what the contract is if there is one but i do think you have to share cancer right right right because also if that like got out and he didn't share it it it would cause a ruckus. More so that if people found out and they felt that the palace was hiding it, they would think it was worse than it was. So getting ahead of it probably is just best policy.

For sure, for sure. Okay, okay. Well, it sounds like it's going to be okay. Yeah, but this has kind of been a tough time for the royals. Like whatever Kate is going through is not unserious. No, and I also fell into a TikTok rabbit hole theory that kate middleton has been in a coma caused by i don't know it wasn't convincing i don't feel that but i do feel like there is more there is more to the story because they didn't tell us that much of the story but yeah taking

off as much time as she's taken off like that's that's no small thing it's not so and also as we discussed like charles pared down the family in recent years to just these core members and then between harry and megan leaving queenie passing away philip passing away kate is out of commission for a few months there aren't that many working royal family members right now and there's kind of a gap i've seen that princess anne has stepped up and she's a queen in her own right they're dropping like flies yeah and i feel like you know that george is gonna get put to work soon he's all he's getting old yeah it's time he earns his keep no it's so true it's like it's been fun george get to work no he's really little but i do think maybe some of the cousins also andrew's. Right, right. Maybe Eugenie and Beatrice will start showing up places.

But it's actually really crazy. There's not that many working royals right now. Damn. We got to get some subs in. Yeah, no, no, no. Like some of the scrubs. And maybe that podcasting rugby player can go cut a ribbon. And the wife.

And the wife and the kids, they always show up. And they're like the good family members that like always come to the party, always have a good time. You can always count on them. And they're not like the weird cousins. Like they're cool and normal. You don't keep in touch with them all the time. But they do their job.

And like we see each other. No, and every time they show up, you're like, we should see them more. Yeah. So true. But then like you don't. No, because life gets in the way. And he has his podcast and his rugby and his mom and his friends. Yeah.

Is there something wrong with that? So I think it's time for them. And now Harry's back. What do you think about that? Well, I think it's interesting. He flew commercial because they said he ran to LAX. I guess you actually can fly private out of LAX but like if you're gonna fly private like you just do it out of the local private

airport where you live and I feel like as a solo traveler he can fly commercial like when his old family he's more inclined to get a plane but yeah he can just catch a flight also like the news I wonder if he found out like with everyone like what is the level of communicato i feel like he found out with everyone because he would have left sooner right right no and he was definitely kept more in the loop when elizabeth was alive yeah but i feel like him and charles and harry like i mean charles and william and harry like have a really really bad relationship nobody speaks to one another yeah so i wouldn't be surprised if he but if he found out via the public would you still fly home for that like that's a huge slap in the

face it's it but the cancer trumps true you know and if you want to be there for someone and these are the times when like you kind of put things to the side and you just remember that you're a family you also have to put aside this This latest snub true so I hope that King Charles will be okay Cavalier Spaniel me too no and this is tough you Know coming off the heels of the crown Which was very complimentary I feel like A lot of people are feeling myself

Included very favorable towards him warm I feel warm I feel warm too and he's Like yeah he's a thirsty like desperate loser but he's and but he's our thirsty desperate loser and he means well like he does he really does and i do feel like he's just doing his best you know like diana's death like really really gave him like the world's worst reputation on the planet and there were so many people and like legitimate theories that he was involved and he was this bad guy. And I feel like the crown like really cleared up how like deeply unfactual that was.

Yeah. And I feel for him. And nobody's perfect. You know, he's just a loser. Like he's not a bad person. He's just a loser. Yeah. And he's had like a bad rap now for 30 years.

And like now it's his time and he should be able to enjoy this season of his life no and it's like everything was finally coming up charles cancer imagine how after 75 years imagine how he feels things were coming up charles yeah everything this man it's like everything in his life is delayed like he can can't get arrested. I know, but he also like was born into extreme privilege and, you know, never knows a day's struggle. So everyone's journey is different. Everyone has their own battle. No, it's like, would you rather have cancer?

Would you rather be a prince? Like for real? That's like, I feel like the age old question. But plenty of people aren't princes and get cancer. So true. So true. So true. So we'll, we'll keep you posted as we know more about Charles and Harry and the

reunion. And do you think Charles will see him? Who knows? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because like I said, this is the sort of thing that just kind of makes everything blurs the

edges. Yeah. Oh, what was that thing you did and you said in your documentary? I can't remember. Yeah. I'm too sick to care. But also, like, this could be the start.

Like, maybe this is the beginning of the future, you know? But what does the future look like? Harry and Meghan coming back? No, no, but, like, true. Actually, I feel like maybe they should go back. I don't even know. I was thinking that. I don't know.

Oh, because I was reading about the inheritance from Harry and William because there's this like theory that Harry is actually wealthier than William because I guess like the Queen Mother, it's not true. The Queen Mother gifted Harry, like bequeathed more to Harry than she did to William

because she knew that when Queen Elizabeth died, William would inherit a dookie that's worth like a billion dollars, which he has. I'm sorry, what's a dookie? Because it sounds like something you put in the toilet. I don't know. Duchy? Is it a duchy? D-U-C-H-Y. Is it a dog? What is it? It's a, an estate? I don't know. It's a thing. Oh, it's a piece of property. No, no, no. I don't know that. Let me Google it. When I said dookie, I said it with a territory.

Jackie, a dookie is a poop. In the US. Yeah. Yeah, because we're disgusting. It's the territory of a duke or a duchess. The fuck does that mean? Yeah, exactly. That's why I said it without further clarity.

So you're saying Queen Elizabeth dropped a dookie on Prince William? A $1 billion dookie. Wow, that must have been some dookie. So yes, Harry got more like from the Queen Mother because like they knew that this was coming for William. But I do feel like Harry and Meghan, you know, funds will begin to dwindle. They can't live like this without another big influx of cash forever i don't know they've had like a bunch of influxes also diana left harry

some something substantial right the dookie or whatever it's called the other the anti-dookie the big netflix deal the big spotify deal the big disney, it's enough for a while. But not forever. The books, not forever. But not forever, not at the level that they're living, you know, Oprah style. Private security, travel, yeah, for sure. But in this current moment, I think they're fine. But they do need some sort of long-term plan.

They need a plan. Yeah. So barring, you know, another media company giving them a payday, like maybe it's time to go home to daddy. I don't know. No, it's not an option. I don't think they would have them.

Yeah, me neither. And I don't think Harry and Meghan would ever go with their, like, and that would just be admitting like they were wrong. No, it would never happen. Stop it. No. Silly girls. Stop it.

Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm. And by the way, since we're saying it would never happen, watch. It happens. I mean, we are always wrong. That's classic us. Low key it is. Taylor Swift shares the track list for her new album, The Tortured Poets Department,

featuring collabs with Post Malone and florence and the machine so we're gonna go through the track list for tpd i want to say somebody leaked this on tiktok i saw it yesterday and i was like it's definitely not true but then literally what they had said was that florence and machine post malone and they had the names of the songs and now it's a tighten up a little bit you know yeah she actually does a pretty good job nobody saw this coming i also feel like these days like she doesn't give a shit anymore like i feel like she used to be so serious about like locking everything down and now it's just like whatever it's not that serious it's not that serious yeah now i love when people like with

really highly anticipated albums release the track list because it allows us to play my absolute favorite game guessing what the songs sound like right Right, which is what we're going to do. Starting with side A, song one. Fortnite featuring Post Malone. It was a Fortnite, Fortnite, Fortnite. It was a Fortnite, Fortnite, Fortnite. Next. What did you think?

I didn't feel strongly about that one. I didn't, that's not the vibe I was thinking, but now you kind of- It's hard for me to like, think of Post Malone's influence and taylor swift yeah they're kind of polar opposites i had something in my head like now i kind of lost it no come on find it no it's gone now i think for night for night for no it's giving single soon next the tortured poets department this is the big one dirty what do you think it is i actually

can't come up with a song because i'll sing the dead poet society i'm singing the same melody singing the same melody okay what's it called the tour i i cannot recall the name of this album like for the life of me the tortured poet society department okay i feel like it's gonna be like this song shirt poets department yeah we go down to my apartment yeah you write love song you're fucking me up stop what do you mean i'm providing the beat love songs for everyone. Something like that. Like something really dark and twisted. I actually think it's going to be tongue in cheek. Like that song, the moon is high.

Oh, Paper Rings. And it's going to be like Subtle Knife, Tortured Poets Department. Now you think you're a tortured poet. Got it. That's what I think. Oh, so do you think that the Tortured Poets Department is like her making fun of joe or calling herself like in a serious way because i kind of love it being a dig at joe i kind of think it will be both because he does take himself so seriously it's like calm down no no like he's like she'll find a way to make it like oh you're a tortured poet like you've

never written a line of poetry in your life and this is me this is what it's actually like to be a tortured poet yeah hold my pen hold my quill literally don't you think This is what it's actually like to be a tortured poet. Yeah, hold my pen. Hold my quill. Literally. Don't you think that's what it's going to be? I mean, I hope that it is. I think that's brilliant. It's like a country song where it's like twists. It's like inverse.

Fricka, fricka, reverse. Uno. It's giving before he cheats. It's giving reverse Uno. Yeah. Next. My boy only breaks his favorite toys. My boy only breaks his favorite toys. My boy only breaks his favorite toys.

Love. I was thinking, my boy, my boy, my boy only breaks his favorite toys. My boy. Even though Taylor doesn't really sample, but I could see her doing that. And maybe it's because like Joe Alwyn saw the movie My Girl when he was a young boy and like wanted to be an actor because of it.

You know, somebody dumb like that. Down bad. You've been down bad. Oh, why does it feel so good? You're just using old Taylor songs. I'm having fun. Oh, okay. So true.

I need to calm down. Not that to you. Maybe she'll sample thyself. Okay, what was down bad? We were down bad, down bad. No, I don't like that one, hold on. You were down bad, I was so sad. You made me so mad, so I left you, lad.

When I climb into bed, I start feeling sad that you've been down bad down bad wait no no I got it I got it when I climb into bed I start feeling sad suddenly I miss my mom and my dad I'm down bad I'm down bad Love. Slay. Okay, now for side B. So long, London. So long, London, yeah. I miss your cobblestone streets and your Louis Vuitton and your high tea on Camden Street at noon. If that's not the song, throw it in the garbage.

Garbage. Next. But daddy daddy i love him this is gonna be actually like lana del rey energy because the title so lana del rey but daddy i love him so i sound like annie leddix like Annie Lennox. Artists for ceasefire. Artists for ceasefire. I did. I did. Next song. Like Annie Lennox doesn't even know

the enemy she's made. Like I am obsessed with making fun of her. Slay all day. Oh my God. Okay. What's the next one? Fresh out the slammer. This is so on Taylor.

The slammer. I can't even think. Maybe it rhymes with hammer. Fresh out the slammer. I can't even like think. Maybe it rhymes with hammer. Fresh out the slammer. My man was Jeffrey Dahmer. Love it. I love it. That's it.

We're turning Taylor like into a rapper, but whatever. No, no, no. That's good. Fresh out the slammer. My man was Jeffrey Dahmer. He killed me with a hammer. The more I went out, it only made him madder. Because he was like always keeping her like locked up in that house. it only made him madder. Because he was always keeping her locked up in that house.

And that made me sadder. But now I'm free. Look at me. I love to go out to eat. With my man Travis. Photos everywhere. You don't know because you're a square oh it's giving square it's giving diss track love we are obviously like influenced by the megan the stallion nikki

minaj beef that's why like i can't wait to play these back when we have the album see how absolutely wrong we were sometimes i really feel like i nail it like i don't think i've gotten a single one right no but the thing about this exercise is that it makes the song stuck in my head. That way, like, Wine by Adele is always gonna be, I love wine, wine, wine, wine. Yeah, yeah. Okay, next song.

The Florence and the Machine song is called Florida with three exclamation points. What? You have to think about Florence and the Machine Like Oh yeah Florida, Florida

Florida, Florida Whoa You know That's a really crazy title For a song I don't know how This is gonna make sense Like why the three

Exclamation points Also Has Taylor Swift Ever been to Florida? No Literally This one actually Like it's drawing blank Yeah I look forward to actually unsolving

that or solving that mystery next one guilty as sin question mark was i wait hold on did you win or am i guilty as sin question mark good something like that yeah next who's afraid of little old me question mark man this bitch loves punctuation okay who's afraid of little old me yeah it's giving like nursery rhyme who's afraid of little old me little wait I kind of like that no no what you were doing before like who's afraid no no no me? Little old me. Wait, I kind of like that. No, no, what you were doing before. Like, who's afraid? No, no, no. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, who's afraid?

Little old me. Oh, yeah. Who's afraid of little old me? Little old me. Drop the beat. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. Do, do, do. And that's the, the song is london bridges so like that could be the sample

and because london bridges are falling down things are over with joe love next i can fix him parentheses no really i can i can fix him i will try to fix him oh that's good no really i can love next one lommel love my life it's giving all lowercase ariana grande that's the one that's gonna be like lommel come light me up no it's gonna be you're right like breathy like love of my life i was your wife yeah until you took a knife right to my chest i think we should write music together jackie so i actually do think we should write music together Jackie I actually do think we should The songs are pouring out of us Listen to this

Love of my life I was your wife Gave you my What'd you say? Oh you took a knife And tore it all up Are we passing in Paul? No, no.

They're like theater queens. We're like, who's like, like a emo. We're literally like Fleetwood and Mac. Mac shop, Mac. Like we couldn't write a Broadway production.

Like that's a whole other set of skills. Claudia, I think we could. No, we totally could. I actually think that would even come easier. Why are weselling ourselves like we could we could do anything we could do anything if we wanted to like actually and we committed like we could run a marathon yeah but i i do think if we committed to it and we had some sort of producer we could be a singing songwriting duo i do think the producers like of utmost importance they just have to like hit

record on the roadcaster but look we have the equipment we have the talent have the equipment we have the talent let's do it I'm so down I mean okay then Psy D I'm just gonna go through it now I could do it with a broken heart the smallest man who ever lived yikes that stings okay so I'm Joe Alwyn I see the track list And I see there's a song Called The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived I kill myself

Like That's That's tough That is tough He's not like super tall Or broad In a physical sense So like that's

You know And then like Of course The Travis comparisons Were already painful But then he's He's small In like a personality sense

He's obviously threatened by this you know successful woman like that is a tough pill to swallow then the alchemy clarabelle and the clarabelle is a very famous old hollywood starlet who was like driven to madness and they were obsessed with like her and her personal life and her relationship she eventually retired after she found a decent man but i think it's like a you know drawing comparisons got it I was thinking of Clarabelle Goofy's wife no you know Taylor's obsessed with like mad women of yeah that's giving black green American dynasty what was her last name Rebecca Rebecca and then bonus track, the manuscript.

So here's my question. Is this a breakup album or like Joe Alwyn diss tracks? So I feel like it's, what was her name? Rebecca. I feel like it's going to take us through the journey.

Harkness. Oh, that's not in the song. No, no, no, it's not. It's inside baseball. I don't know because I feel like... It could be both Joe Alwyn and breakup and dissing. It could, it could. But is it sad or mad?

People online are predicting it to be like the anti-lover. And also there's like a lot of comparisons between some of the imagery from Lover and the imagery from this upcoming album. Because Lover was for him and she does kind of have to undo Lover before she can like artistically move on to the next phase. Because it's like, how could that guy who was in Lover be all those things and not be the one for you?

Yeah. And there's also a song. Read the titles one more time. That sounds like the opposite. I love you. Ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? Ooh. Let me see if I can guess. It sounds like it's i love you ain't that the worst thing you ever heard oh let me see if i can guess i forget people had pointed that out online which i thought was really smart okay fortnight tortured poets department my boy only breaks his favorite toys down bad so long london but daddy i love him fresh out the slammer florida guilty of sin who's afraid of little old me

i can fix him no really i can i can do it with a broken heart maybe that the smallest man who ever lived alchemy clarabo i don't know never mind those things don't sound so powerful when they're off tiktok huh so true alchemy is like one of those words i refuse to learn the definition of yeah and it's like that would refuse to learn the definition of. Yeah. And it's like, that would have been like the name of an album for her, you know, where it's just like a strong word.

Oh, by the way, we do need to talk about how like, this is the first album that's not one word. Now, 1989 is not one word either, but like visually it's four digits. Yeah. I think folklore evermore reputation, midnights.

You get into like a pigeonhole and i think the best way to get out of it is just to break free from it yeah and that's why i think i'm having a hard time recalling the name of the dead poet society no it's a lot tpd that's mine tpd tp tbd on tpt are you ready for our next story since it's only number three and we absolutely have to move on with our day? Are you ready or do you think like we're good? You know what? I'm not ready. And I'm really glad that you mentioned that because I need to let you know that today's episode is brought to you by Dreamland Baby. I have been on the show proselytizing about Dreamland Baby here on my Instagram for months now and it's time that you get on board because Dreamland Baby

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receive 20 off sitewide and free shipping. This offer is for new and existing customers. Again, you guys, Dreamland Baby, if you're looking for sleep sacks and you need sleep solutions, Dreamland Bebe. Now, a lot of people are saying Jackie O has been like in a really sort of high recently on the podcast.

They're saying she's like her best version yet. I think a lot of that has to do with the restorative sleep you have found thanks to the dreamland baby is that is that correct yes you know char like it all comes together and you can't like work on getting baby in the crib at least I couldn't without great sleep solution sleep sack it's it's everything it's all layered and this is one tool in our toolkit that is so important for great sleep now do you have anything else to say? I have one other thing to say, if I may.

If Turdy will allow me the floor. Is Turdy allowing me the floor? I need a verbal commitment. Thank you. Oh my God, okay. Today's episode is also brought to you by Armra. Y'all, I love Armra. It's bovine colostrum.

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It's one of the few wellness things that I do that I feel like I don't have to do all the other things. What I also like about it is that you can use two scoops or three scoops. Sometimes I like, I forgot to bring it to Utah. And when I came back, I was like, I'm on the three scoop grind. You can like make up for lost time a little bit because it is like a bioactive ingredient. So you can add more to it. If you miss a few days, just double up. And we've worked out a special offer for our audience receive 15 off your first order go to try armra.com slash toast or enter toast to get 15 off your first order that's t-r-y-a-r-m-r-a dot com slash toast they have a bunch of different flavors i use the no flavor one but i don't know

i'm kind of feeling like i should go to a flavor soon do something crazy right switch it up thank you for sharing jackie thank you la are you ready for our next story i am even though i'm like look he's sweating i just was feeling like i can't talk anymore oh really i'm not feeling that i feel like my jaw hurts oh my god okay complainer uh you need workers comp like what's going on no maybe it was just like doing the ads going right into the story because typically that's why we divvy up oh yeah no by the way that i feel like my jaw when you went like on maternity leave and like i had to do like everything on this show like with the co-host just sitting there no uh this is how i feel on an episode of the redheads the way i'll be in the

middle of a redheads episode and like i feel like i'm running a marathon we but the thing is like like we just said we could if we wanted to It's a verbal marathon How long what are we at just curious I don't know 59 Oh we've already been gone for an hour Okay that's why I'm feeling a little winded I am on steroids

Which make me sweat so much I woke up three times in the night Like deep deep sweats I'm experiencing like a little bit sweaty fever right now Not a fever I mean like a sweat bit sweaty fever right now not a fever i mean like a sweat session right now but i won't let it deter me from feeling grateful about my health oh speaking of she coughed on it yeah no i'll continue but i just want to like say there's a reason why i feel like so great yeah chat it out ad break hour long we're not even on story

three so let's get into it okay and my God. Okay. And also the last three episodes, they deserve our time in last three stories. Not this one, but the next one. Okay. Next two. Justin Bieber performs at, he performed this weekend for the first time in forever.

For the first time in forever, Justin Bieber performed at the NHL All-Star Game. And I also just remembered i had a dream about hayley bieber and justin bieber like i'm a freak i was in their house it was so nice oh that's fun yeah and there was like something wrong with their charger and they like used my charger i'm like the biggest loser on the planet like that's what i dream about your charger wasn't charging on their ipad so it got exactly well because it had gotten used to yours instead of mine he he played an event following the NHL all-star draft which is a big deal because he hadn't performed in a while he was having health issues

and now he's back it was an intimate event but he's you know in performing mode form and a lot of people think that he might come out with Usher I don't know why people think that because but they're like friends oh because Usher like invented him't know why people think that, but they're like friends. Oh, because Usher like invented him. Yeah. Oh, I would love that. I would too, but like Usher should have his own moment. I'm not like a big fan of people. Like actually, I love people bringing people out.

However, if it were me, like I wouldn't. No, but I could see Usher being that sort of uplifting, gregarious guy. Me too, me too. And so, you know, I think this only fueled that sort of conspiracy it was like practice there was a lot of like pussy popping at the nhl honors whatever it's called also weekend yeah tate mccray performed yeah and like her ex plays her ex plays but she was there

with her new man who was the kid laroi oh that is random a match made in young music heaven and like what a sleigh to like show up at your ex-boyfriend's like big weekend, be the star and then leave with your new man. Like it's a serve. No, and I also feel like the odds of her performing at the NHL are pretty slim. So she probably went out of her way to perform at the NHL

just to stunt on her old man. And like you look at Tate McCray, you see like a beautiful woman for sure. When you see her perform like she puts her whole pussy in that performance and it's really um definitely gonna make someone jealous no it's a slay it's a slay slay all day all day um but i'm happy for justin i hope that he gets back out there he's such a talent you know you people forget i was actually i was getting my nails done yeah i got a manicure and okay humble brag low-key and a pedicure classic and they played great music and they were playing that song you

you're the only one i'd ever love i gotta tell you i gotta tell you that song is so amazing and if I were Hailey Bieber I would wake up every morning and play that song and be like this song is about me I'm the queen no and before he cut his tour short he would like play it and there would be pictures of her all over the arena it was the sweetest thing that's like one of those songs where it's like someone wrote this about you about someone it's a right like It's about, right, like a love song. That's, I kind of, I don't know why I associate it also with like that John Legend song that everyone sings. All of me. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like you can't believe this song was like written out of true emotion, not just like for the sake of writing a song. Right, like Chrissy Teigen must have immense like self-confidence. That song, that's like the greatest love song in a number of years is about her. No, it's so complimentary

yeah also um with Justin Bieber I feel like it's he's just one of those talents who has a really hard time I think going on tour which I think is really relatable like tour is like kind of like the worst thing ever and it's like really not an enjoy like a way to live you know especially if you're like married or have a family um so he's kind of like for me like falling off the radar a little bit because that's how you stay engaged with like your fans and stuff so seeing that he performed and he sounded he's such a good singer i feel like remember when he like popped off with that youtube video everybody thought it's like he's gonna go through puberty and his voice is gonna drop and he's not gonna he's like literally such a good singer no he's such a good singer he's so many great songs he's we need him through puberty and his voice is going to drop and he's not going to. He's literally such a good singer. No, he's such a good singer.

He's so many great songs. He's we need him back in the in the fold, in the musical fold. We do. But he's also so wealthy. Yeah. He doesn't need to like work. No, but when you're an artist, you need to create. Yeah.

But you can create without putting stuff out. Like it's still fulfilling to make music on your own for fun. Yeah. But then you want to deny the world. No, it's like, what is this, charity rude yeah yeah that's an expensive hobby to like make music and like in your home studio and then like not earn money from it right and then you have to like pay all those songwriters and producers out of pocket right are you ready for our next story yes kind of like some crazy beef okay between madison square garden and neil degrasse tyson what yeah page six here said there was an ursa major blow up between madison square garden what ursa major it's a like a science joke major blow up oh okay i'm clearly

too dumb for it continue um between madison Square Garden, staffers, and of all people, Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson over Rangers tickets this past weekend. Excuse me? Apparently, the famed arena offered him tickets to Monday's game, then swiftly withdrew the offer after, in a strange twist, he claimed its board was all white. The bizarre back and forth began, page six is told, when the astrophysicist

asked for a handful of tickets to see the rangers play the colorado avalanche classic page six is told the garden readily agreed to give him some seats but couldn't provide as many as he'd asked for then thing then things began to spin off their axis the puns in this story yeah they need to just tell the story and shut up i'm getting getting to apparently Dr. DeGrasse Tyson mentioned to the bafflement of MSG staff that it's Black History Month, adding that he'd noticed there are no non-white members of its board. It seems that stunned and dismayed insiders, one of whom they're told somewhat oxymoronically referred to him as that idioastrophysicist, swiftly voided the tickets they'd

already given him. Oh my God, now took them all back? Yep, sounds like it might be many moons before the good doctor can go to a Rangers game without getting an icy reception. Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson did not respond to a request for comment. A rep for MSG told Page Six, quote,

Mr. Tyson is incorrect. We have several diverse members on our boards. Oh, well, if he made a whole thing about not having any members but there actually are members of color on the board that's not a good look now this is tough because neil degrasse tyson is a really well respected and neil degrasse tyson has kind of done the impossible of like being famous for decades and i don't think ever once having a scandal like for real i'm sure if i google it something would come up i mean if you look hard enough he's human but

you know what i mean like nothing comes to mind yeah scandal don't look it up let's not degrace the great neil degrace tyson okay she's looking it up there was um sexual misconduct allegations and an investigation but i don't even know like i shouldn't have even opened you're right i shouldn't have yeah because now he's like read and like you know if that's what he did and that's really bad but if it's not what he did then that's really bad too yeah yeah yeah no that's so that's why i literally said don't look it up no you're right curiosity killed the cat curiosity killed the cat the thing is like it is black history month so i'm gonna give neil degrasse a pass out here a neil de pass a neil de pass his name is like so easy to like make

puns with that's because there are so many names associated right so i'm gonna give neil dr neil de grass tyson i mean degrassi i'm gonna give neil degrass tyson a pass because it's black history month do you think he should have gotten more tickets? I need to know how many tickets he wanted and how many tickets- Did he want two? Yeah. Or did he want 20 and they gave him 10? Yeah, the thing is, and by the way,

I love getting free tickets. It's like a huge perk of my job being a touring comic. And you have to be like low key. And you have to be reasonable. The word is a chaza in Yiddish. You can't be a chaza when you're asking for free stuff. Like piggish like you have to you know you ask because you want something but like you take what you get and you don't get upset so if you wanted four and they gave you two you kind of have to just be like okay i'm going two people the most i have ever asked for is four

like it's always you know me and ben and then two other people or the four sisters like when i went to ariana grande um it an art, asking for free things. And Neil deGrasse Tyson is much, much, much more famous than me. So he has more leeway. He could ask for six. I feel like, oh, you think? Yeah. So how many do you think he asked for?

And how many do you think he was given? I don't know. But also, like, right now, it's not a particularly hot time for hockey. Like, I don't think it's like the playoffs or anything. It was just the NHL All-Star. We can't stop talking about it. And I feel like All-Star weekend happened. I'm so limited in my hockey knowledge.

I feel like All-Star weekend happens right around playoffs. Kind of like. No, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Like, literally with the Pro Bowl and the Super Bowl happening. The Ranger game, like, is a fabulous outing.

Like, there's always cool people. Hockey is like this very small. It's not small. No, I meant like the fandom. No, like it is small compared to like other stuff. Like, sorry, it is. No, it's just like not on your radar. No, I feel like it's small.

If they are selling out the same size arenas as the Knicks, literally. Oh, factual. Wait, factual. Facts were spoken. It's not like they're playing in like a rec center. If they are selling out the same size arenas as the Knicks Literally Oh factual Wait factual Facts were spoken It's not like they're playing in like a rec center It's the actual same size garden No and I just finished like a hockey porn book It was so good

Actually it was not good So was it good or not good? It's hard to know if like a smut book is good Like the romance was good But the plot was moronic you know Got it I just want to say the Stanley Cup is in June so I feel like these Tickets weren't that coveted yeah I mean Ben's going to the Rangers game tonight so if Ben got Tickets like anyone can I would like before I like you know put down the gavel on this one like I Need to know specific ticket numbers what was Mr. Dr.yson asking for i agree i need to know was he being a

but i do feel like before i like and this might be like a crazy thing to say like i do feel like bringing up black history month is like kind of crazy like to get to get tickets it is to get free tickets like i think it's like a little crazy of course and i respect black history month like it's an important month but like i feel like i don't know if that was like the right call no and like it's a yeah no it's it's a little crazy of a thing to do but get your tickets neil get your tickets he could always do the game time app the fact that this came out like is embarrassing for Neil. You think? Yeah. Yeah, because he should be so above this. It's not a good look for any celebrity.

But as a science celebrity? And he is in his own league of, I don't even know who else would be in his category. Bill Nye. Yeah, but to me, he's more famous and cooler than Bill Nye. Oh, no, to me, they are the same. More well-respected. More well-respected. To me, they're actually the same. I can believe two people got like so famous doing the same thing

we only needed one I think of Neil deGrasse Tyson as like weirdly like a Bob Ross yeah do you know what I mean yeah agreed he's just like so well respected and like he's like a famous person but he's also an academic like yeah no it's hard to be famous for like academia that's impressive right no that's what happens with like doc tv doctors like dr drew or whatever like people then say you're like a fake doctor because you went on tv but like you low-key went to medical school did dr drew go to medical school or is he phd no, no, no, no. He's doctor. Like Dr. Oz.

Like people say Dr. Oz is a fake doctor, but like he literally went to medical school. Yeah, as long as they went to medical school, they're like, yeah. Yeah. And I think he went to like Tufts. Nice. I don't know why I just like fully made that up.

I don't think he went to Tufts. I think he went to Penn. USC, even better. Dr. Drew went to USC also. Oh, what are they putting in the water at the USC medical school? Yeah. Because everyone there is thirsty. Literally.

That's why they went there. But yeah, no. Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson. The thirsty look is just not a great one. Agreed. But I need to know ticket numbers. I need to know sales. Yeah, we need to know facts before we like like was it 20 was it a suite i like wait because that's like twenty thousand dollars

yeah or was it six and they wanted to get four who's right in that situation i can't imagine i can't imagine it was like a difference of two tickets yeah that's so crazy okay our fifth and final story is a conversation sparked by your best friend tinks have you seen the drama about tinks is that tinks has drama not really drama but like so tinks posted a controversial opinion that people are weighing in on okay and i felt yeah i'm so glad you brought this up okay because it's in it's in page six i didn't even bring it up so claudia's best friend california influencer tinks has divided opinions online after his best friend who's like a sister to her claudia's new favorite sister tinks has divided opinions online after claiming that the birthday person should pay for everyone's dinner during their special occasion. So she remix duetted a video of a person who said that it's unfair that he had to cover

his own expensive meal during someone else's special occasion. So Tinks then duetted that and said, if you invite a person to a restaurant of your choosing for your birthday, you should pay for everybody. She said, I know that is going to be deeply unpopular, but I just think that if that you can't pick a restaurant and ask people to come and celebrate you and pay for themselves. Ting said she found it especially ridiculous that some peer groups expect the guests to split the cost of the birthday person's food too. She said, if I invite a group of people somewhere to celebrate me, that's my treat. I organized it. I'm expecting them to come to pick an expensive restaurant and expect everybody to pay in this person's case then get pissy when they say I'm sorry I can't afford that is really bad

Niners I'm so torn on this I really see everyone's side I also think it's so situation dependent like first of all what city are you living in because like you can't go out for to dinner with like five people in New York without spending $1,500 like it's insane so I think circumstances are really important I all like I do see both sides in the sense that like, I don't know, like Tinks is right. Like if I'm inviting you, like it's my responsibility to take care of you. And I agree with that. However, and I see the other person's side being like, why should I have to pay for your birthday dinner?

But if it's like, if I love you and it's your birthday and I want to celebrate you, like I'm happy to spend that money. And maybe if I'm not happy to spend that money, I shouldn't be going. Yeah, I think it's really situational dependent. I agreed with what Tink said, which I don't think gets spoken enough about when the birthday person like has a birthday dinner and they expect that everyone's going to cover them.

They just kind of like sit back and they're like, oh, thanks. That's insane. No, that's insane. And I feel like at all stages of life, that is never acceptable, yet it flies and it's not okay. But I do think that I see it differently when we're at like an older age versus like when we were younger. We all like split the check.

Like we go out for everyone's birthday dinner and we all split it and that's fine. But we're also going to like comparable restaurants. But like as you get older, it's like nice to do nice things for your people. And if you are able to take care of everything like that's the right thing to do the best manners thing to do but not absolutely necessary but i also think it depends who are you inviting to your birthday dinner are these like your actual close friends or acquaintances who like don't give a damn about you because if it's not don't give a damn but like acquaintance if it's your best best friends like we're splitting

the bill they would never let me pay for all the it's a small group of people they would never let me take care of it by the way age is such a factor that's such a good point because i have paid for my own birthday dinner for the last like eight years but there was a time like in high school or whatever like college yeah let's all split it like we're young and we're not like drinking a thousand cocktails it's not that expensive and we also we do it everyone's birthday. So it actually all winds up being the same. And in the end, we've all paid for our own birthday dinner. By the way, that is the truth. And that is the answer.

With the same group of friends, if there's five friends and every couple of months it's someone's birthday and we all split it, by the end of the year, if everybody throws themselves a birthday dinner, we've all technically paid for our own dinners and it's all even. Right.

And the same could be true if you take out the birthday person. But I just like just like i hate that i don't agree with taking out the birthday person no i never have agreed with especially when the birthday person like set it up yeah i i don't think there's like a universal rule or take here it's so situational age also socioeconomic status for some people like spending 200 on a dinner it's like not a big deal and for some people it's debilitating like it really just depends what stage of life are you at did you just get laid off like it's there's so many factors yeah the area so I don't think it's one size fits all and I also think that if you say to someone like I can't swing it I can't come to your birthday

dinner like that's really fair oh for sure and by the way like if you're at a point where like spending that amount of money like wouldn't be great for your finances but also like it would bother you because this isn't a person you care to celebrate like you should be able to say no respectfully yeah same with like a wedding i feel like some people like invite people to their weddings like just to get a gift and it's like honestly if you say no to a wedding like this isn't a person i want to spend the money weddings as a guest are very expensive like and if you just want to collect... Well, destination. Any wedding, like with the bridal shower gift, registry, it's a lot.

Bachelorette party, maybe. Right, but say you're not a close member. At that level. You're just a guest. So if you say no to someone's wedding, do you have to buy them a gift? I think so. I think it depends on your relationship to the person. Unless you just don't give a damn.

Like there was no reason for you to have been invited to this wedding. Sort of. But see, my stance on weddings is so different than other people's because, like, I will not go to someone's wedding. Like, if I go to your wedding, it's because I'm either related to you or I deeply, deeply love you. Like, I don't believe in going to the weddings just for, like, the sake of going to a wedding.

Even if it's, like, lit? Oh, unless, like, are there famous people there? Those are other factors. Then her rules go her scruples gone yeah or is it a destination wedding that i've like been dying to go to that destination for right right but if it's a destination wedding like i don't even like you your role is pretty much like i'm not going to a crappy wedding no no no no because like i have said no to like very lovely lavish weddings but like i don't know you like it's weird okay but

people just like invite me to their weddings like they do it's like a thing of mine that's nice yeah I think it's like I'm a local celebrity they're like what if we just like had like a somewhat famous person come to the wedding I know that for a fact yeah I what's something weird that's happened to me is I invited like so many people to my wedding everyone came had a ball literally nobody's invited me back. Nobody. You got married a year before the pandemic. Yeah.

And then the next year people were supposed to get married. They had to cancel their wedding. Then the year after that, they started planning those weddings on a much smaller scale. Yeah. The pandemic changed everything, but you're right. Like there were probably half the people who were at your wedding didn't invite you to theirs no and it's crazy and i understand if you did like a covet or a small wedding like that's fine but

plenty of people had like normal sized weddings and obviously they're like pregnant or having a baby so like you know i'm not coming but like you invite me so just do the right thing and yeah like i'm a semi-famous person with the number two podcast i'm like no don't decide my invitation don't let on my invitation. Don't that star? I just think it's so crazy. It keeps happening. And the thing is, it's all weddings that I would not go to.

But I feel like that kind of makes it worse because it's like, just throw me a bone and like act like you have manners. No, be decent. Yeah. But like you came to my wedding, you dance at my party, you ate my food, like invite me. No, it's it's really crazy. I can't think about it for too long because I find it to be so crazy I think about it differently because my wedding was so long ago that like I'm just a different

like if someone was at my wedding now and they didn't invite me to theirs which I'm sure there were many people like it doesn't even register for me like the girl who got married and when she was 12 like is a completely different bitch now you know yeah but I feel like now that it's my wedding anniversaries this month how many years is it gonna be four i would say once i hit like five years then it's like okay it's not 10 for 10 anymore we're different people but still like hello agreed manners emily post where are you where is emily post the world needs my wedding guests need her. I know some bitches who need her desperately. Ew.

That's how you offline. People without manners? Yeah. I know a few. Disgraceful. Disgraceful. So yeah, that's my spiel. But the moral of the story is I wasn't going to the wedding anyway.

I just feel like it's, you know, common courtesy. Is that the fifth and final? Yeah, that was the fifth and final. Tinks making news. Classic tinks. The backs of my knees are so sweaty. Like this prednisone is running through me. So we'll leave it at that.

We'll leave it at that. I'm so glad to be back. Don't forget to take your health, you know, don't take your health for granted today. Thank you so much for listening to the Chelsea Monday Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories. You know the whole gist.

Love ya. Bye. Love ya. Bye.