The Toast - Bring Back Joy: Wednesday, September 11th, 2024

Episode Date: September 11, 2024

Foo Fighters rocker Dave Grohl fathers baby 'outside of' marriage (Page Six) (25:16)Bethenny Frankel holds hands with businessman Tom Villante after breakup from ex-fiance Paul Bernon (Page Six) (33:07)Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner finalize divorce after messy custody battle (Page Six) (35:40)Sean "Diddy" Combs Ordered to Pay More Than $100 Million in Sexual Assault Case (E! Online) (44:10)Nara Smith Vists Ballerina Farm (49:28)Dear Toasters Advice Segment (56:50)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Toast, and happy Gargi Parsi Wednesday. Hump Day, a great day. Hump Day! Wednesday, it is, it is, la turd. It is the day of the Wends. It's actually a terrible day, like if I'm being honest. It's 9-11, so let's just get that. That's never gonna be, like, the best, happiest day. No, it's not. I, I like always cry on 9-11.

I feel like weirdly, maybe it's like a New Yorker. I don't know. I think 9-11 is like the worst day ever. And I am sending so much love to anyone today who was affected by 9-11. I think like when I was even walking to work, like there's so many cops out. So many streets are closed because there's a bunch of memorials and it's really nice. But just like a terrible day. a good day to watch united 93 i feel like we always on 9-11 talk about united 93 that movie was so powerful it was yeah a good day to stop and remember whatever that looks like a book a documentary a movie um just taking some time

to not forget no and the further we get away from it, it does feel like everybody forgets, right? Yeah, but you would hope at least on the anniversary that people are remembering and reflecting. There's just low-key a lot of people walking around who weren't alive. Yeah, I mean, we see that. We see a lot of that in a negative sense. Of course, writing love letters to Osama.

To Osama, yes. But today, I don't want... Let's not talk about that. I mean, that's... negative sense yes of course writing letters love letters to Osama to Osama yeah yes but today I don't want let's not talk about that I mean that's yeah I and that is you know unfortunate and we can spend other days talking about it but I actually maybe today it is more important than ever to talk about that too but also to remember the lives that were lost and impacted so greatly no and like I feel like we had this conversation last 9-11 specifically about the movie United 93 how like seriously it's one of the most well-done movies ever made. And it's also like the lesser told story, right, about on 9-11.

Of course, we think of New York. We think of the Twin Towers. We think of those two planes. But we don't often talk enough about United 93. You know, the plane. Well, you and I do. We do. I feel like we're holding it up.

A thousand percent. The plane that was headed, correct me, where was it headed towards? The Capitol? Yeah, the White House. Well, they never made it because very brave passengers, like, took the plane. They hijacked the hijackers and everyone ended up dying, but they ended up saving a lot of lives because they didn't crash

into another government building. So really well done movie. Star-studded. Will Arnett. Who else is in that movie? And then we. Our fave. Who?

Peter Herman. We also always say when we talk about united 93 like how much if you're in that movie like i'm a fan of yours for life because i feel like if yeah i don't think it was like a big budget movie i don't think a big studio was behind it but it was like a story that needed to be told and i feel like if you got cast in it and like you're a big star like you did it because it was a passion project of yours and it was like an act of service. Yeah, like it really is. Because I think a lot of people, myself included, only really know most of the story about that flight from the movie.

Yeah, it definitely got more press from the movie as opposed to just being an anecdote from the day. Oh my God, you know who's in it? Who? Dodi Faid. From The Crown. His real name is Khalid Abdallah but Cheyenne Jackson classic who's that oh the guy you know him I was like I don't know that lady he's from 30 rock I know Claudia he's from Descendants I know what yeah he is he's major yeah oh you know who else is in it?

What? Descendants is kind of like a melting pot for the greats. Okay. Just saying. Do you know who David Rash is? You don't. No. But he's in Succession.

Okay. He wears those like glasses and he works at the company. He's like one of the senior guys. He's always on the plane. But he's not like a main character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Classic guy. There's a lot of familiar faces in this He's always on the plane, but he's not like a main character. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Classic guy. There's a lot of familiar faces in this IMDb.

Of course, Peter Herman, but nobody, I think maybe I'm also misremembering Will Arnett being in it. And I feel like now I'm having deja vu that we've had this conversation before. Whatever. It's such a good movie. Not to like make a joke about it,

but like, it's really good. It is good. If you haven't watched it, maybe you should. You definitely should. So. And also not to make everything about me like everything possible, but it also always makes me feel so old.

Like the amount of years we get away because I was alive during 9-11, but I was also like a conscious like I remember that day. Like I was in the third grade. Like I was alive, you know? Yeah. And so it's been 23 years since I've been you know socially conscious yeah you were in the third grade I feel like we have this conversation every every year and then you remember it wasn't the third grade yeah no it was the first grade no who taught us Mrs. Lacks you remember her we what second so she was in second I was in second

in second grade because I remember she said and I Because I remember she said, and I tell this story every year, she said, the first kid got picked up, Bradley Garzinski, he was out of there. And we're like, what's going on? And she said, there's been an accident in Manhattan. And you know what? It wasn't the worst way to explain it to a bunch of second graders. Like, I'm sure in that moment she didn't realize it was going to be,

like, historic, right? And how do you explain something like that to a second graders who are probably freaking? In the moment. Right. In the moment. And now everyone, if you're telling, if you were relaying it as a teacher, as a part of history. Right.

You would explain it differently. You wouldn't say it was an accident. Yeah. But I'm sure in that moment she like kind of had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Yeah. Mrs. Lux. She also might have thought it was an accident at first.

That's so true. I think a lot of people did. I think a lot of people did until the second one hit. Yeah, of course, of course. So very sad. Today's just like a bad day, but of course what we do,

you know, we acknowledge. We bring light and we bring swirliness. How was your evening? I went to a fabulous event. Not to like, I don't know how to shift out of 9-11 talk, so we're doing it here's what we do we just shift of

course you went to a fabulous event because you're the face of New York Fashion Week I am and I want to say it was probably one of the sickest like productions I've ever been to it was in part all these all these Fashion Week events have huge sponsors and like you know based on who your sponsor is we're gonna see how fabulous it's gonna be so I went to Cynthia Rowley and it was sponsored by Cadillac. Cadillac, excuse me. And it was at one of the piers, like on the west side,

which was really beautiful. Sunset, water. It was really, it was making me a little sad because I knew 9-11 was the next day and it was like kind of gorgeous New York night. Not to be like morbid. And I was thinking,

I'm like, how are they, once it gets dark, like how are we going to see stuff? Because it was outside. And they basically lined up like 15 of the new Cadillac whatever's and put all the lights on and made a runway out of the cars and then they had like smoke and like the cars the headlights were like doing dances it was really sick honestly like and the clothes were obviously gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous but the production

was kind of 10 out of 10 it was sick that very cool. We already knew the clothes would be gorgeous because not to make about us, but we shopped at Cynthia Rowley last month and we scored like we've never scored before. I honestly feel like the Cynthia Rowley ex-Cadillac partnership might be deserving of going on our list of Toasty Lions Awards. It was such a great,

because I went to a couple events and Fiji Water sponsors a lot. And the integration is never that you know, that creative. Like, it was really brilliant. Because now here we are talking about Cadillac. Gorgeous new car. American made. So it was, like, the perfect blend.

I honestly, I wish you could have seen it. Because, like, and the way they opened it, the girl stood in front of the car and the car wasn't on. And then all this smoke and the headlights went on. Like, it was sick. I added it to the list and we can always just like go back in a few months and we'll know whether or not it stood the test of time thousand percent and then i raced home because we missed the first presidential debate because we were selling out the jizz no we were selling it out to our credit we scheduled

jizz no before the debate okay okay Who hosted the first one? Like what network? I don't know. Don't they each get like their own? Like last night was ABC. Well, they don't each get their own because there could be no more debates, but there's more networks. It just kind of depends. Yeah, but like last night was an ABC exclusive.

It was like Disney plus Hulu and ABC. The last one might have been MSNBC or NBC. Okay, okay. Like they were coming for our next. Like so jealous of us. Jealous of Jiz now. Jealous of Giz now. Jealous of Giz now. Jealous of our success.

So we weren't able to watch it. And you know me. I love to watch something that everyone's watching and like scroll Twitter at the same time. I raced home. So many streets were closed. I'm now realizing like it took me, I took like 30 blocks out of my way to get home. It was probably because of 9-11. No, and also like all of the presidents have passed and you're at are in the city for 9 11 yeah but

I'm sure you saw this morning Kamala and Donald were in Pennsylvania like I was thinking sometimes the streets get like Biden is in the city okay maybe oh actually I'm sorry my doorman told me what was going on Biden was in the city you're right okay oh my god I was just like so annoyed I was like so worried I was gonna miss it like you know me I have such FOMO like I need to be like with the tweets like what's everyone talking about I made it home with like 20 minutes to spare and I was able to order some food so thankfully oh thankfully thankfully I got 38 I got brisket from one of my favorite kosher restaurants that's recently been the target of an anti-semitic attack so everyone goes to mr broadway mr broadway best brisket in the city. I saw. Yeah. Order Mr. Broadway. Show them. No, it's like they know.

They know how to get to me. Mr. Broadway. Mr. Broadway. My favorite restaurant. They also have Chinese. They have Chinese, Italian. One thing about kosher restaurants. One thing about a kosher restaurant, like there's always going to be sushi on the menu.

They don't like to be cuisine specific. And I love that because you know what? Like as Jews, if you keep kosher, you're limited in your restaurants. So if one place is going to do it all, like, thank you. I know if you're an outsider, you come and you're like, oh, this place has a sushi bar and a pizza brick oven. You don't get it. It's okay. You don't get it.

But I'll explain it to you. They are not cuisine specific. Yeah. Yeah. So, yes, it took away from my watching of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives last night, which was kind of a bummer. I was looking forward to getting back into it. But I did. I sat for the debate. I also watched a couple episodes of Mormon Wives yesterday

before I had to go. I got up to, I love that they're talking about brand deals and how much money they're making. Like, thank you. Like that, if you're making a show about influencers, that's what people really want to know, right? We always talk about influencers make so much money. I want numbers.

And when she was saying they offered me 20 and they were like 1,000, 2,000. She was like two. I loved that. Yeah. Need to know information. And good for her. 1,000%. Now, I'm still having the hardest time telling two girls apart. It's Demi. And I don't even know the other, the one. What does she do? Hair, Jay-Z. Oh, Jay-Z hair. Jessie. But then there's also a Jen, so I wasn't sure like which Jay.

And then Jen is the one. Who uninvited them to her baby shower. Yeah, and she seems shorter than the other girls. She's also the one whose husband. Is second cousins with Ben Affleck. Oh, and has like blonde of hair. He seriously looks like a character from Game of Thrones. Yeah, he looks like something out of a Greek novel yeah um I thought that was so like weird and this is what I like about the show these girls want this show to be successful and so like okay she

gets uninvited from a baby shower what does she do instead of like gossip in a normal reality show no she calls that bitch right up like I like that these girls literally had like a 30 minute conversation actually longer like an entire head of hair was put into her hair and curled in the time that she spent on the phone with them and Jen was not invited not prepared like she was seriously not prepared it was like a total ambush it was so rude when they kept flashing back to the car ride of like her literally inviting them yeah so rude I think I actually understand why Jen didn't invite them like if you then get to the baby blessing it's very small in her in-laws living room like of course we're not inviting the couple that brought alcohol to our last party at

our in-laws that's that is so rude by the way like and she's a toaster and like jesse i love you but like that wasn't the right it's like the equivalent seriously of bringing like a pizza with pepperoni to a kosher person's house yeah yeah it's, and I, the, the blessing was like so small that she didn't need to be inviting all of her friends. So I understood why they weren't invited, but she shouldn't have invited them to be good with. And it also seems like her husband was sort of putting his foot down. Now, the more I know about their relationship, like it, he's not allowed to do that. She is the breadwinner. She is paying for him to go to medical school yeah she's paying for medical school Claudia what about his parents his dad's a doctor

the way she described it to Demi like she is paying his way through medical school you're lying so like if I want to invite my friends to the fucking blessing sit down sit down oh my god well because then I actually like I thought it was really um like she was being super vulnerable just talking about how you know when she invites her mom to things that her in-laws are out she always like feel so awkward like and she said to put it in perspective like my mom is like a custodian at the hospital where my husband's dad is like a cardiologist or a surgeon yeah and so she obviously has this awareness not a complex an awareness about just like the difference in like how she grew up and how her husband grew up so for her to be over here with her Instagram money and be paying I can't yeah she talks about it when they

go on a trip she's like telling Demi about it and also how he says that like you know yes but long term like he'll be making more money because he is going to be a surgeon but like I'm sorry the way things are going for her she's on a tv show business is booming uh I don't know if that's the case I think being like a major influencer you actually might be yielding more than a surgeon okay except some of these doctors I needed to make a doctor's appointment today with like a new doctor I call first thing in the morning and she's like getting all my info or whatever and she's like okay the doctor's only in on Mondays what what is she I do would like to know what what about the other days of the week

okay so I had my theories, because that's really crazy. Maybe you're, and she also was like, this was, I had you should go to like a specialist. I'm having a lot of medical issues. I don't want to get into it. And this one doesn't take insurance, which is so crazy. Classic. And you know, those doctors that don't take insurance, like they, that's like, I think like if you want to make like real money as a doctor and not just like help people, you

don't take insurance. And I thought that was really crazy. And so I guess that's how he only works one day a week I was shocked honestly you don't think he's like working doing research the other days of the week or working at the hospital like there's other things you could do maybe he only takes appointments one day because he's a surgeon he's a professor maybe he's a professor he's a surgeon so like I think he does the surgeries the other day oh okay I just thought it was crazy. Like, why is Turdy seeing the surgeon? I'll tell you about it later.

Is it your hand? It's nothing cosmetic, please. I wish. Oh, I didn't think so. And I'm hoping I don't need to get surgery. It's just the doctor that I needed to go to was a surgeon.

That's what I was told. Got it. Like, I'm seriously having so many problems between my thumb. Like, everything is always hurting me. My neck has really been bothering me. So I've had like a really upsetting discovery, I think.

And I've not even vocalized it. I've not vocalized it. But it has to do with what you're saying. No, it's not bravery. It's just like ever since we got home, every morning I wake up in my bed. And like my neck and back are not right. I think my bed, it's so comfortable. I think it's too soft. And Zach said the same thing. He was like, have you been having like back issues? And I was like, yeah. And it starts every morning and throughout the day. Like I

adjust, but like I wasn't having that all summer. We were sleeping in like harder beds. Unfortunately, I think my bed is too soft and cozy. want to we're going to talk about that but you just reminded me a shameless self-promo takes precedence speaking of your husband I recorded a podcast with your husband yeah that's right we kind of wife swapped yesterday it's on the patreon because last month we did this really fun game where I sat down with Ben and Jackie sat down with Zach and we asked them like 25 questions about like women's health women's interests like girly questions and to see how many they knew. Now we decided to flip and do like the man quiz on us. But I also was like, what if I did it with your husband and you? So me and Zach podcasted together, I think the first

time. I think the first time too, because I've podcasted with Ben, of course, for the toast. But also I've done like Dear Toasters relationship episodes with Ben. We've done like bonus content together and we're podcasting again today. Kind of a duo like everyone's talking about. So that's at patreon.com slash the toast. And Jackie's with Ben is going to be up also probably today or tomorrow. So I'm sorry. We can circle back to your back. But you mentioning Zach reminded me that this is a place of business.

And I needed to promote that. Yeah. I think that if I want to get serious, like I have to get a new mattress. And it has to be firmer. Oh my god. Why is it that like taking care of yourself is so serious, like I have to get a new mattress and it has to be firmer. Oh my God. Why is it that like taking care of yourself is so expensive? Like, of course you need a new mattress, like the most expensive.

Right. God, you need a new pillow. Could I, I thought it was pillow and I've been swapping pillows, but like, it's very clear. It's very clear on what's going on. Maybe I could get a topper, but also like, I love a soft bed.

Your bed is really delish. Just, you know what? It is, it's like seriously a marshmallow, but it's harming my health. Deal with it. I have been, but I shouldn't be. Circling back, I was texting you yesterday. I totally forgot that we got tickets. Like we have kind of like something exciting coming up.

Jackie has still never been to the Aris tour. And she doesn't even know what goes on at the heiress tour because she didn't watch the movie either I didn't watch the movie I don't watch the videos when they come up on my Instagram I've really I I know bits like I've seen pictures and I know you know the gist but I've really I don't really know and I totally forgot that we got tickets because we got three tickets with me you and our friend Margo Lewin and she texted us yesterday like in Florida like hey should we start planning? And I was like, I totally forgot. We need to plan an outfit.

And do you remember when I went to the Aero store for the first time? I was like, I don't know what to wear. I don't know what to wear. And you were like, you and the girls should dress up as Bad Blood music video. And I was like, wow, thanks for the idea far too late. Should we dress up as Bad Blood music video? I just feel like we don't have enough girls. The thing was, you were going with, like, 10 girls, and I just would have been so cool.

Yeah. So maybe we all should just do like seamless, seamless swirlies. Oh, you just want to wear like regular outfits, not like costumes? Wear like, you know, Taylor inspired outfits. But I have a closet full of like sparkly pink dresses. I don't think I have to get a new one. It's so true. Like Erez is very retrofit coded.

Yeah. Even though I don't have a retrofet dress but I have plenty of dresses also it's not a story but was it last night or this morning because I woke up with Taylor's endorsement it was last night it was right after the debate okay so I was asleep um Taylor and not a story not a story but Taylor like got involved and I think a lot of people myself included I've been like thinking about this a lot like is she gonna will she or won't she and I do owe somebody money because I really thought she wasn't going to um like for no I really and I was so confident and I had a whole backstory because if you like look at the arc of her relationship to politics she never got involved she never got

involved and then she did get involved and I feel like when she did get involved it wasn't for the reasons that I thought it was because like she had entered this I don't want to say flop era but this like low in her career like the lover time and I think she thought because like she had entered this, I don't want to say flop era, but this like low in her career, like the lover time. And I think she thought that like this would really help. And I don't think that it did. I think what helped was just like her going back to what she does best, which was folklore. That was like the renaissance. So I have like a whole theory on why I thought she wasn't going to.

And I was wrong, which it does happen, unfortunately. And then like Brittany Mahomes, I actually think Brittany Mahomes played a big a big part in it too I think the noise was getting really loud and a lot of people were like will she won't she and with the timing of the debate I think she had like a good opportunity to say like I wanted to wait for the debate um but she did things she did that things she did that yeah I guess the noise was really I hadn't realized I'm not like on you're not chronically online talk I'm not chronically online but I guess people were really wanting her to. And there were like now, I think it went beyond like chronic online-ness.

I think there was also like legitimate publications writing articles about it. Yeah, I saw. And I think she has a lot of care, even though she's at this level that she's never been about before. I think she really cares about being well liked being accepted and I think like when these big time publications and and people start saying things I do think it really gets to her so I do think that was a motivator for the timing um not a story but definitely worth mentioning oh yeah because everyone's talking about really that yeah tailored and the debate from last night. Yeah. So. And it's 9-11, so not to like.

Yeah, just like a big somber day that we will do our best to put a swirly sprinkle on. I mean, we do have deer toasters, which I think helps putting a swirly sprinkle on things. Yeah, that's true. We've got stories. We've got good stories, yeah. Oh, and I have an announcement to make. Okay. Use your voice. use your voice raise your voice I have mothered a child outside my marriage

and I want you to respect my privacy obviously but I'm also telling you so okay thank you for sharing you're welcome and now without further, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know are very appropriately brought to you by Hulu. So Jax and I have been loving The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Hulu is a sponsor of our show, but it is not incumbent that we give positive reviews. Like all of our reviews are totally organic, but we are here to tell you about the show where you can watch it and all the things included.

So The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is now streaming on Hulu and it is a show we have been so excited to watch. We've really been enjoying. That part is not sponsored. This part is. So the show is about a group of Mormon moms that grew up super conservative, Mormon faith, and they follow a lot of those really strict rules, which include no cursing, no tattoos, piercings, alcohol, caffeine, et cetera.

These women then blew up overnight on TikTok and they were fully in the spotlight when Taylor, Frankie, Paul, one of the main castmates, announced that she and the others in the group were involved in swinging. Now they are coming together post-scandal to form this new reality series that gives you an inside look at the secrets, lies, and gossip in MomTalk. Wait, I really also liked when they had that party at Jessie's house that they were talking about how big um soda is in their community and and the role that it plays and I always knew that soda was important but I didn't really understand that it was in absence of coffee and like in the morning

these soda places are like a coffee shop I didn't really get that until they explained it I thought that was very interesting I could totally be Mormon so if you don't already know who they are totally fine they explain the whole thing too which I think they do a really good job of too on the show of like explaining the context of these women and the group um they're also really changing the gender roles in the Mormon culture they paved the way for the next generation a lot of them are breadwinners which is really interesting so watch the original Hulu series the secret lives of Mormon wives all available all episodes are now available streaming on Hulu today's episode is also brought to you by Rakuten, the smartest way to save money when you shop because you earn cash back at over 3,500 stores.

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because your cashback will really add up. Don't miss out on the savings. It's just fun, easy, and fresh. Rakuten, R-A-K-U-T-E-N. Today's episode is also brought to you by Huggies. Jax, why don't you tell us a little bit about that? Yes, Huggies knows that babies come in all shapes and sizes, and their tushies do too.

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thank you jacqueline foley a trusted source you're welcome you're welcome you're welcome you're welcome by the way never gonna give you up never gonna give you down okay our niece michaela's new favorite song is never good i don't even know what the title of that song is and she's changed the lyrics seriously she's made them so much better never gonna give you up never gonna give you down duh things she said that are you ready for our next story our next story our first story a little baby news actually in line is it dave girl yeah i wouldn't know if that's baby news like little baby news actually in line is it dave growl yeah i wouldn't know if that's baby news like little baby news okay foo fighters rocker dave growl father's a baby outside of

his marriage and is working to regain his wife's trust so dave growl out of nowhere yesterday put out a statement on his instagram saying this i've recently become the father of a new baby daughter born outside of my marriage. I plan to be a loving and supportive parent to her. I love my wife and my children. I am doing everything I can to regain their trust and earn their forgiveness. We're grateful for your consideration

toward all the children involved as we move forward together. Okay, I have a lot of thoughts. My first, of course, is like, that's what you get, Taylor. I want to tell you not to get lost in these petty things. Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing. Of course, my first thought was like, seriously, this was a pretty quick turnaround, you know?

Love to see people out here failing and going through hard things when they seriously out of nowhere, like we're clowning on Taylor. she doesn't perform live like it's just like obsessed you know from that yeah no like just get your own house in order before you're gonna start like criticizing other people it's so true get your own house in order first of all second of all I do find it like incredibly bizarre that he shared this now I don't know if I would say that for anyone like he's like a rock star right and what do rock stars do like they just like they cheat and they fuck people and they like you know have babies like I don't know I just feel like it's not the craziest thing to me that that he did this the crazy part is like the well quaffed statement I think maybe

it was gonna come out yeah and so like this takes a sting out of someone else announcing it. It does. Without him. And then we see like that makes it much more salacious versus him like. Sharing. Letting us know first. Also, according to his Instagram that I'm now on, he has a book coming out in October that is like his memoirs of a girl.

It's called The Storyteller. so that's kind of really bad timing on the one hand it's good oh you know press is good press but on the other hand like if this is the story of her life like oh now all of a sudden like it's not finished because this is a big piece of your story I have to imagine also like the wife had we had the wife's approval in sharing this because I would imagine she would have rather not but it must have been coming out in one way or another and he wanted to get ahead of it because this is like it's it's not a reflection on her or anything she did but I can imagine not wanting that out there and like feeling embarrassed yeah but also it's like why should this be like her

secret to keep for him like go out admit your mistakes go tell everyone what you did it's like I could see both sides of it where it's like now it's like this shameful thing that she has to keep private when it's like she didn't do anything wrong it's just a great day for people who hate Dave Grohl like really yeah and I'm sure right now that includes his wife yeah and also like when did he recently become a father like this I wonder how long he knew that like he was was he having an affair with a one person and that person became pregnant was it a one-night stand right like did he know about the pregnancy did he only find out about the birth when was the baby born it's just a lot yeah I also just think like the statement

was crazy I can't explain it. The way it was. No, it was seriously like out of nowhere. So matter of fact, I appreciate that there's not one like useless sentence in this. Because usually we get like this. Yeah. And it's full of like word salad, yummy, yummy. And instead we just got, we got the need to know information. Yep.

And I can appreciate that. One thousand percent. Just the sentence, I fathered a child outside my marriage. I don't know. It's just like a crazy way to say I cheated on my wife and got someone pregnant. You know, I think it's really it's beautifully said. It's much more elegant. Yeah.

I've recently become the father of a new baby daughter born outside of my marriage. As if like the second part doesn't change the entire first half of the sentence. I will say there are definitely a lot of men who would have you know ignored the woman and her child so for that he's not like a complete piece of shit. And he said I plan to be a loving and supportive parent to her and I think that's good. No I agree the bar is so low for fathers um and so this is good. Yeah. This is girl. This is girl. And just like, seriously, watch your fucking mouth. Yeah.

Literally. Yeah. Just like people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones is the old adage. It's so true. And they're so right about that. And you know what that old adage always makes me think of? I wonder if you can read my mind right now, because this is like a really random niche thought.

And I don't know if I've ever shared it. That movie? The Glass House? Oh my god, you are seriously like my twin soul. I can't believe you knew what I was talking about. Yeah, it makes me think of that too. It does, okay. Does anyone remember that movie The Glass House?

With that woman who played the nerd DNA in Never Been Kissed. Lele. Wait, I'm pulling it up. The Glass House. Sobieski. Lele Sobieski. I was just talking about her on the toast the other day too. We were because she looks like someone.

Yeah, she plays like the mathlete nerd. Lele Sobieski, you're right. Because you know she's a religious Jew now. I don't know if she converted or if she was born Jewish I think she's a convert but she's like a very serious one I think she quit the industry and committed herself to faith which is beautiful also Diane Lane is in it

and Chris Noth yeah yeah Diane Lane is in it it's the craziest movie can you tell me the plot I don't remember I just know it's about like some bitch who lives in a glass house after the parents literally I'm not talking about like figuratively the parents of ruby who's played by lele and her younger brother are killed in a car crash their parents best friends become their guardians the children hear promises of a world of opulence in california

fun all they have to do is move into the glasses gated house before very long though ruby suspects that erin and terry may not be the ideal guardians that they seem to be. It's a spooky thriller. Yeah. It's so good. It's totally the sort of thing that sticks with you as a youngin. I know there are a couple of movies that I saw as a young child that I definitely like shouldn't have seen like too early and they never became popular that like okay do you remember when we were doing Toast Movie of the Week and I made everyone watch that movie little children yeah with Patrick Wilson Kate Winslet um about like this pedophile who moves into a like he's like a sex offender pedophile who moves into a neighborhood um I like what that does to the neighborhood and then Kate Winslet is

also like having an affair for some reason with Patrick Wilson it's a bizarre movie um I don't know how I saw it and why I did but like it's just like a fun fact about me that I've seen that movie I mean we've all seen it now yeah during COVID Jackie and I did this really fun series called Toast Movie of the Week where like to keep ourselves from like seriously jumping off the balcony we would all watch a movie together every week and then like recap it and we did like fun ones we did sleepover and then I was like we need to watch this movie together every week and then like recap it. And we did like fun ones. We did sleepover. And then I was like, we need to watch this movie, Little Children. Now, granted, I hadn't seen it in a while, but I remember it being like just kind of crazy.

I definitely was misremembering. It was really dark and like disgusting and covered really like disturbing topics. And I apologize. I don't know if I did at the time, but now obviously I'm better. I've done better and I've learned and I've grown. And I'm really sorry. We forgive you. You saw it, right? like the fact that yeah and at least now when you reference it like we know what you're talking about yeah and it's like another one like the whale no comment yeah it's another one like the whale like really disturbing not based on true events my only

question I'm left is why like movies that didn't need to get made yeah are you ready for our next story yeah Bethany Frankel has a new man I saw he's really cute he is cute like where does she find all these like handsome businessmen like a handsome businessman convention no it's so true she is always finding these like good-looking successful guys who we've never heard of like the definition of businessman beau and I do think it's because she like as much as we like clown on her she's like a reality star influencer she is such a successful business person and like a famous person I do think she gets invited and like runs in very fabulous circles I do think she goes to like big business events cons you know like Sun Valley and I can say with utmost certainty there's

nobody there like her you know she's really one of a kind. Right. So she has a budding new romance six months after her breakup from her ex-fiance, Paul Vernon. She was photographed smiling and holding hands with businessman Tom Belante on a date night in Santa Monica on Sunday. She wore a flowy white dress with a plunging neckline, and the two were spotted holding hands walking into a restaurant. They went to Giorgio Baldi,

which is pretty romantic. And it's also like big celeb hotspot. I wonder who got the reservation. Yeah, but she did not want to be seen. Him or her. Well, of course, that's true too, but it's also hard to get a table. Who do you think got the reservation,

him or her? Oh, him. I feel like she likes, you know, tradition. Yeah, yeah, I think so too. I think tradition and she looks gargi pargi um this is nice you know I feel like these are the types of guys like the the OG housewives of New York are always like dying to find when they go out like businessmen like this is the type of guy like Ramona Luan would eat alive in 35 seconds so good to see her out here like slaying the game slaying the dating game yeah especially

because things that got kind of low for her when like Paul moved on with Aurora like that's kind of hard to come back from 1000% but now like she's just what not that it's a competition between the two of them but if it were like now she's just one-upped him and it's not a competition but it's no but in any in any like, you're keeping tabs. Of course. It reminds me, of course, of when Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid broke up. Kind of one of my great – I know I reference it a lot, but I feel like we can learn a lot from that time.

Like, he was definitely, you know, hitting out of his league. And Gigi Hadid is supermodel, supermodel. And they were such a great couple. And I feel like it did really good things for his like image too. And when they broke up, that was tough. Like where do you go from there? How do you get better than Gigi Hadid? And you know what?

He absolutely slayed with his next get, which was Sophie Turner, which I feel like is a good transition. Are we talking about? Yes, it's a perfect transition. Just moved around my stories because Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner finalized their divorce after a messy custody battle. No, not sorry. I love a good seg. I feel like that was like really, I know it was so messy, but I do feel like once they decided, they obviously had a talk during all that crazy press and was like, listen, let's handle this privately, like for the sake of

whatever. And I think they kind of turned that around really quickly. And it's been very quiet ever since then. And divorces notoriously take a long time especially when somebody lives in another country I mean in another state let alone another country I feel like they kind of tied this up really pretty really quickly really quietly I think it's been a year because I remember this time last year we were talking about them splitting up and it was like August September October so according to TMZ the exes came to a settlement on Tuesday. Though the details are confidential, information about their child custody agreement for their daughters is also unclear. Good.

In light of finalizing his divorce, he sang a rendition of U2's I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For during the Jonas Brothers show in Dublin on Tuesday night. Oh, they finally made it to the European leg of their tour. I feel like people are always looking for meaning in things that are not meaningful. Like, you go to Ireland, you're obviously going to sing and you have to do a cover. Like U2 is the pride of Ireland. That's a good point. You also have to think about what U2 songs

the Jonas Brothers fans are going to know, right? It's a totally different generation. This is a known song, but it's not Beautiful Day. It's Beautiful Day. That song is so good. Yeah. You two, I want to say, and I know this is a crazy thing, and I think that I'm still going to say it. I don't know if you two ever fully recovered from that free album they put on everyone's phone. Now, if you're really young, first of all, like, welcome.

I can't believe you're listening to our show. Second of all, you might not remember there was a time where you two did a partnership with Apple um that like they were giving away free versions of their album so if you had an iPhone you just woke up one day in this brand new album. An iPod. Oh was it iPod? I believe so. No I feel like it was in our phones which made it even more of an assault like for real you would wake up one day and like you just had this brand new U2 album in your phone that you did not ask for. And it backfired so poorly.

Like you would think like we're giving away free music. What's the problem? It felt really like an invasion of our privacy. And at the time, like no one was interested in listening to U2's new music. And I feel like it did a lot of damage to their brand, to their reputation. To me, like I can't think of U2 without talking about that. Yeah, Forbes, how Apple and U2 made an unforgettable blunder. No, it's true.

And who is to blame? I don't know who's to blame because I'm sure they were paid handsomely for it and that's fabulous. But seriously, not okay. I never, I stayed there, dust collected around my pinda pear like I'm right there I'm right where you left me when it comes to U2 honestly his daughter being in the perfect

couple that has moved it along for me a little bit oh I'm that's setting me back that was not a good one for me no but I mean in in it's moving me along and thinking about something else about different things when I hear U2. So back to Joe Jonas. Him choosing that song, I feel like it can be explained in a multitude of ways. Now, what are U2's biggest songs? Beautiful Day, of course. U2.

And I feel like, And I still haven't found Like, that's a big one. What I'm looking for It is a big one. And you also have to think about, like, some people can't just like sing any song you need to sing a song that's good for your register it's true he might have been limited just want to say i don't know if it was so sophie coded you know yes no i i think you've made both

points also with or without you what's that i have actually no idea i still haven't found what i'm looking for is top five so i I, you could be correct. It's like if an international artist came over here and like, what are they going to do? They're going to sing a Taylor Swift song. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God.

Can we talk about Chapel Roan really quick? I know you like. Yeah, no, I almost like made it a story, but I was like. So Chapel Roan is taking the world by storm. And like, I've officially let the music wash over me. Like it is, and I'm holding space. I'm in a very serious way, like holding space for two for two truths right I think it's some of the best music Ben is

obsessed with Pink Pony Club like he wants to make a remix of it it really is her music is so good like and now there's a new song that she performed and people are waiting but it's called Subway like it sounds so good I'm holding space for two truths I think she's probably one of the most talented musicians of our time. Like, and I think she'll be huge if she doesn't get in her own way. Because she has now done a handful of interviews. And I want to say she seems insufferable. Like, all she does is complain. And you know me. I live to complain. But she's just like. Like complain and like yell at everyone. And she's like yells at her fans. And she's just like. Like complain and like yell at everyone. And she's like. She's like. Yells at her fans.

Yells at the world. And you know. Don't take pictures of me. Don't call me by my name. So. Chapel Rona is not her real name. It's her stage name. And I think she looks at her.

On stage persona. Kind of like a drag queen. Where it's like. She wears all this makeup. And these outfits. But if you saw her in real life. You wouldn't even remotely recognize her. She just looks like a regular girl.

Her real name. I think it is Kaylee. And she does not like people using that name ever. She has a lot of really strict rules and boundaries around how she wants to be famous, which I actually respect to a certain extent. I feel like a good example is Sia, right? What the hell is Sia's real name? It's not Sia, is it?

And there were many years where we never knew what she looked like because she did the big wig. There is a way to do it without, I feel, coming off ungrateful. Yeah, and Sia wasn't always like yelling at everyone. Yeah, and it's just with every interview,

I'm like, oh my gosh. It's like bitching and moaning about something else. Like in this, she just I think sat down with Vanity Fair, really gorgeous photo shoot and it's like get to know

Chapel Roan. And she's like mad that she didn't get famous sooner and she's mad that people take pictures of her and she's mad that H&M wants to work with her. It's like get to know Chapel Roan. And she's like mad that she didn't get famous sooner and she's mad that people take pictures of her and she's mad that H&M wants to work with her. It's like, well, if you're not bettering the world, like I'm not gonna work with you. And while at its core,

that's a message I would agree with, right? Like, you know, you wanna align yourself, especially at an early stage in your career with brands whose values align with yours, of course. But like, my God, like so naggy, so fabissina. Yeah. And the music is the total opposite. Like the music is pussy popping.

And I don't know. It's like, I really am working hard to separate the art from the artist. I see the music like on Instagram, like people's stories in real. So that's like the level, but it's not like I hear it in my daily life. So because I've seen all this like negativity about her I'm like well now I don't need to go seek it out but the thing is like the music like I hadn't I hadn't already fallen for it and I'm not gonna now go and like support this artist like I think you're missing out like the music it's really good like it's

some of the best shit ever made like for real like and I think you would be surprised and it's really good. Like it's some of the best shit ever made. Like for real. Like, and I think you would be surprised at it's so embedded in culture now. Like you said, like you see it in people's stories and stuff. Like, I think you would be surprised if you listen to like her top five songs, like how much you would know. Yeah, no,

I, I agree with that, but like, because they're not like, I don't listen to them and I've avoided them for this song. Like everything she's doing doesn't make me want to go and stream her music. I know. It reminds me a lot of like Billie Eilish like the fabis in a negative energy like

long face complain like come on like you're a beautiful young girl like let's go yeah where's the joy where is the joy bring back joy bring back joy bring back joy bring back joy the movie bring back movies like that let's start making more movies like that about successful women being joyful named joy yeah making products that we all love and use let me tell you she ate with those velvet slimline hangers you know boy did she she changed the world with those hangers. Now the movie was obviously about her first hero product the mop. Now I agree it was a good product but I don't think the mop had seriously as much of an impact on the culture as those slimline hangers did. Yeah I still use them. Of course if you don't you're a savage. Yeah I mean some people like

use pretty like acrylic but you just must have like. Acrylic? Like hanging space for days. No, of course. And like those plastic hangers are bad for the environment. They're ugly. Like Joy is over here revolutionizing things. And I think we could all take a page out of Joy's book. I agree. Are you ready for our next story, which is some more legal news?

Some more? When was the other legal news? Joe and Sophie's technically legal news wow you ate me up you're 100 right diddy has been ordered to pay more than 100 million dollars in his sexual assault case so sean diddy combs has been ordered to pay up in his legal battle the rapper was ordered by a judge in michigan's lenouy county circuit september 9th to pay over 100 million dollars to inmate derrick lee cardelloello Smith according to court records viewed by E! News. Wait just one person gets all this money? Yes this uh the judge granted Cardello Smith's motion for default judgment after Combs did not

appear for the September 9th virtual hearing. Cardello Smith encountered the music mogul while working at a Detroit area restaurant in 1997 according to his lawsuit um which was obtained by Variety. the two men went to a party where they began having sex with two women uh i'm just going to trigger warning when combs allegedly touched cardello smith cardello smith who told detroit metro times he's a self-taught student of civil and criminal statutes then accused combs of drugging his drink so he passed out saying combs later sexually assaulted him that evening oh my god what a fucking terrible story yeah oh when I had saw saw this I thought there was like um like this 100 million dollars was to go to like you know 10

or 11 Jane and John Doe's but I didn't realize this was just one case for one person and literally not showing up to your virtual court and by the way you don't even need to show up your lawyer does that's really that's wild yes also per public inmate records though cardello smith is currently serving jail time on 12 sentences related to criminal sexual conduct and two like how to where to go um okay uh I guess you can hold space for two things yeah like I guess we're holding more than ever we're holding let's not talk about that guy okay let's just talk about Diddy for a second. I feel like we all moved on too quickly from the fact that like Pete Diddy, who was just kind of like an American hero, you know, in some ways.

Not hero. Like America's sweetheart, you know? Yeah. Everybody loved him. Like living this double life. Yeah. And how we've all, I feel for, especially when you're really into Hollywood and celebrity culture, like it's so easy to like slip into like conspiracy theories about like hedonistic rituals and evil Hollywood predators. And you have to like either like believe it 100% or not believe it because it's every now and then it's like, oh wait.

And then something like this happens, you're like, wait, because this is P. Diddy. You know, everybody loves P. Diddy. Everyone in Hollywood is friends with him. And then something like this happens, you're like, wait, because this is P. Diddy. You know, everybody loves P. Diddy. Everybody loves his parties. Everyone in Hollywood is friends with him. And they're saying, like, this is what his parties were about. And then you look at everyone who's at his parties. And just like, you know, with the swinging situation, I don't think everybody who's there is doing, like, terrible things. But it's not like something that was super hidden, it seems.

No, and it's really hard to not then believe all these crazy things you've heard over the years about, like, sacrificing babies. Like, because it's so huge P. Diddy like he is really I feel was the center of like a big Hollywood social scene for for decades yeah so I feel like we all moved on a little too quickly from that like I actually like forgot about it a little bit you know yeah well I guess like things are playing out in the courts right and he's got a lot, like, coming at him, so. Now, because his victim is serving jail time, like, doesn't mean make the crime any less egregious. It's just kind of, like, a weird twist at the end of that story, but disgraceful, like, seriously disgraceful, and to not even show up and, like, have enough respect for the judicial system, please, like, it's giving guilty energy. Yeah, also, Diddy's lawyer had said

that this man is a convicted felon and sexual predator who has been sentenced on 14 counts of sexual assault and kidnapping over the last 26 years. His resume now includes committing a fraud on the court from prison as Mr. Combs has never heard of him, let alone been served with any lawsuit. Mr. Combs looking forward to having this judgment swiftly dismissed. It's just a shame because like he's like a liar. I know when you got like a bunch of liars lying, what do honest people do? I know, but it does also kind of track, right?

Because abuse is a cycle. Most people who are victims of abuse then become abusers themselves. And that could be what happened with this guy. Not that I'm like giving excuses. I don't know. Everyone here is guilty. Okay. It's a very yucky situation.

And I wanted to take my foot out of it. I agree. This is not my problem. Like you guys are disgusting. I'm like giving excuses I don't know everyone here is guilty okay like it's a very yucky situation and I I wanted to take my foot out of it that I agree like this is not my problem like you guys are disgusting I'm not not you listeners like the people involved in this like seriously I'm trying to like explain get away like I don't do this wait I did though have a dream that me and Ben killed two people and Jackie it was such a nightmare because like we knew that we killed two people and we're just like waiting for people to find out like the police. And it's so scary. And I'm just like, like riddled with guilt. And I know my whole life is about to blow up.

And I also know that I'm sleeping. And I know that this is a dream. And I keep waking up and I'm like, girl, don't worry. You're going to wake up and go to work. Like it's not real. And every time I slip back into sleep, I'm back in the dream. And it's like, God forbid, when I'm having a dream that I'm married to Zac Efron, I could slip right back into it.

No, that one ends swiftly. That one's gone. A dream where I've killed two people like on a couch in the middle of a lawn. I don't know. It was really weird. Damn. I consumed a lot of like, I watched a debate and then I watched like Desperate Housewives and a little bit of Mormon Wives.

So I had like a lot going on in my subconscious. Okay. Well, you had to work it out. I did. We worked it out in the remix. That that's great are you ready for our fifth and final story if it's our uh yeah sorry which is kind of like big crossover news like this is like Suite Life of Hannah Montana on deck for the new generation because I don't know if you saw but Nara Smith was at Ballerina Farm with ballerini you're fucking lying we're going to ballerina farm stories like literally the imagery it's better than you can imagine so nara and lucky both went to the ballerina farm in utah and kids teaching nara how to milk a cow she was a natural

she was milking ballerina cows. She was with ballerina kids. She brought her, um, baby too. Making brunch. Okay. There's the husband. They're her kids.

She got gifted a snake from one of ballerina's kids. Lucky B. Well, they were in New York literally yesterday for fashion week. He walked in Ralph Lauren and like, she worked it as like an influencer then they did like a big meet and greet I saw oh my god Nara the collab of the century no this is really crazy I know I need to know what they talked about I need to know so

they obviously like met through Instagram right oh my god I'm dead this is so they are both so pretty like no they're so great I'm so. This is so great. They are both so pretty. No, they're so great. I'm so glad that they're friends. Oh my God. This picture of them, their husbands, and each holding their youngest kid. In front of their house with the American flag. Do you think that they spent the night? Because it's far.

They're out in rural Utah. But Nara lives in Utah? No, they live in Texas. Oh, really? I think they live in Austin. Maybe they spent the night. Let me double check. Where does... I don't know why I thought she lived in Utah. Oh, because they're Mormon. They are. Oh, no, wait. At 18, she moved to California. Where do they live now? Oh, yeah. They live in Texas, but she just posted a big vlog. They're

moving to Connecticut. I think they need to... I think she's really like raking it in with like influencer things, especially in the fashion scene. And I think proximity to New York is becoming like really important. It's always been important for him as a model. And I think he's been the one traveling for work and she stays home with the kids,

but she's become a sort of breadwinner too, probably out earning him. So now it's like they both need to be near New York. Okay, we'll move. But they still need that rural lifestyle. So they were looking at these properties in Connecticut that's major for Connecticut huge for the Connecticut community yeah they needed that oh my god I can't believe these two got together that's like seriously it's not even Suite Life because because Suite Life that's a Raven Hannah like they, they were all so different.

These are two, like, very similar queens getting together. It's giving, you know, the, I need to think of, like, a, I don't know. I hope they made some content together. Like, I'm sure they had a fun day. But, like, I hope there's more that we can consume from this. Because that is just, like, so. But I think with their new house, they looking to like have chickens I think there was also like a a research mission mission yes exactly because they right now just like live in a house where

they like have a pool and a yard and they make their own gum but I think with when she was saying in her vlog they're really looking for something like with land. Yeah. And I think the first, it's a slippery slope. First you have land, then you have chickens, then you have horses. And I think they went over there to sort of learn about how they got started. The ranch lifestyle.

That's really crazy. Cause that's far out of their way to go. Yeah. They must be friends. Yeah. I mean, they should be. Yeah.

I think those girls got to stick together. I think they're really the same, but they, they reach different people. I think Nara really reaches because girls gotta stick together. I think they're really the same, but they reach different people. I think Nara really reaches because of TikTok, like a younger audience. And Ballerini goes for like a little bit older, more moms, more millennial.

Yeah, and I think people who watch Nara Smith's videos like see it like more aspirationally, but like less like practically. But her videos are also like, she makes them very aspirational. No, but people watch like in amazement. Whereas for Ballerina, they watch with a pen and paper. Yeah, yeah, I think so.

That's really the best news I've heard all day. Right? The pictures are really gorgeous. They're on Ballerina's Instagram story. Like, seriously, hysterical. Hysterical. I can't. Now, we have Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment,

that is thankfully brought to you by State Farm. You know, well, let's call it Dear Neighbor for today because like a good neighbor dear toasters are there exactly so state farm is some would say a core tenant here at the toast they're one of our favorite brands to work with we know that our toasters can agree there's nothing better than a personal win so like what's a recent personal win you've had for me it was like i obviously had swirly summer i'm not at the weight that I once was. And like these pants still fit me. So like pop off, queen.

Amazing. What about you? Personal win for me? Ooh. Well, you know, I hit my goal last week of home cooking every single night of the week. Huge. Which is really major for me. And I'm actually, I'm on track for this week too,

even though I'm not putting the pressure on myself. So maybe it's just become like habitual. Whatever it is that you define as a win, it does call for a celebration. And do you have any idea who's cheering right beside you? Oh, that's right. State Farm. And Turdy, of course. Of course, of course. So with the State Farm personal price plan, you can create an affordable price just for you when you bundle home and auto. I love that they've made insurance so personal at State Farm. Obviously, when it comes to the relationship you have with your agent, you can really get in contact with them through the app,

through the website, through the phone, in real life. They're super available. But also when it comes to that personal price plan, people's lives are so personal, so different. Even you and I were so similar. You read my mind about Glass House, right? Right. Even we have such different insurance needs,

and Safe Farm sees us for the different independent women that we are, and we really appreciate that. So there are a lot of moments in life that call for celebration. Creating your State Farm personal price plan can be one of them. You can celebrate choosing the insurance coverage that fits your needs at a price that you can afford. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with a personal price plan. Also something I love about State Farm is like again we're so similar but we really communicate very differently and I feel like when I'm looking for help when it comes to insurance or really anything, like I'm looking for quick, fast, and I don't love talking on the phone. So

they have an award-winning app and website, super easy for like, you know, kind of Gen Z, zillennial, if I will, like myself to talk to my agent, but also you, you know, you live a slower life, obviously not bright lights, big city like me. And so being able to talk to your agent on the phone or even in person, which is like so archaic, they have all different types of agents and all different types of methods of communication to get the job done. So no matter what type of toaster you are, whether you're a Jax or a Claude, State Farm has the method of communication that works best for you. Yes. So there are a lot of moments in life that call for celebration.

Creating your State Farm personal price plan can be one of them. You can celebrate choosing the insurance coverage that fits your need at a price that you can afford. So talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer.

Availability, amount of discounts, savings, and eligibility vary by state. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. And just to like sort of round it out. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Thank you. And State Farm is the sponsor of Dear Toasters oh my god okay thank you uh for sponsoring Dear Toasters our weekly advice segment so every Wednesday Jax and I will take three submissions from the girlies or the boys of course who are in need and when I say girlies I don't mean like

gender I just mean like the girlies yeah yeah yeah yeah from the swirlies in need so if you ever need advice from us about anything from like work, relationships, family, and you say like, oh, I wish I could hear from Jackson Claude, you actually can. Email us, deertoasters at gmail.com or head to our website, thetoastpodcast.com.

If you scroll down, there's a little submission box for Dear Toasters. Both methods are completely anonymous. We will not blow your shit up. And we're just going to try and help, you know? And if also,

if you have written to us and we've given you advice, like can you please update us on what's going on? I hate when people leave us hanging, even though hopefully like our advice worked out so well for you, you totally forgot about us because you're busy being happy. Right, hopefully. Okay, hello ladies.

I need your advice. My husband and I got into vaping this summer. Now that fall is here, we agreed that we both should quit. For the past two weeks, we have quit vaping, but I have secretly been doing it when he's not home. Do I need to come clean, try to quit now? this not a big deal what do I do I mean this is really a question for a lot hurt I don't even remember when I quit vaping but it wasn't like a big thing for you like I mean I was vaping a lot during COVID and even like before in 2019 like mostly like social vaping I never really got to the point where I was like

wake and vape you know it was always like sounds like that's where this girl is because she's doing it when he's not home so like during business hours for sure it was always like an afternoon delight or like with a glass of wine but I was never like addicted addicted I would say so I actually had a pretty easy time quitting but that's because I got to a place where I really wanted to quit. Now, I think if you're quitting because like your husband is and like, you don't have any, you know, like love for quitting in your heart, it might not stick. And it seems like it hasn't stuck. So I think you need to evaluate if you do want to quit. Like for me, like nobody could tell me shit. I've been for like three or four years. Nobody could tell me shit. Like you could tell me

all you wanted. I saw all the videos, popcorn lung. Like I was like, it's not going's not gonna happen to me and like if it does like I'm corn lung if it happens to me like I'm happy like I don't know like you just you couldn't and then I got to a place especially in like my fitness journey where I felt like it was really hindering me and I would like get home from a workout and vape like okay what um and I was so out of breath and so it really took a toll on me I really I had this genuine desire to. That like the first two days were super hard. And then I seriously like moved on with my life. And I was actually just remarking the other day, like not me being nine months clean. Like, okay, queen.

Nine months sober, I must confess. Oh, you guys, I must admit is the lyric. And please, this is your reminder to remind me that whenever 10 months after January 1st is, please remind me so I can post a picture of me vaping saying 10 months sober. I must admit just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it. Is that a reminder? So when it comes to your husband, like you don't need to come clean, okay? You're allowed to have secrets and this isn't like a big damaging one. If you do want to quit, like start quitting now. It's never too late. You can always quit. He doesn't need to know

that like, yeah, for a couple of weeks you struggled. Yeah, if you're going to quit, then you don't need to tell him. if you are gonna keep vaping like you said like Claudia said like you don't want to quit you don't have good enough reason to quit and like you like vaping you should share that with him then because like that's if you're doing it in secret like that's weird yeah now I just want to say like you've only been vaping you started vaping in the summer so it's like I don't feel like it's been enough time to like really cause any damage. Like you're fine. You mean if she quits now?

Yeah. And you know what? Like I saw something that was really, what's the opposite of disheartening? Heartening? Yeah. I saw something like a meme that was so heartening when I was like struggling with really wanting to quit, but like not being able to. And then I did it on New Year's.

I was like, okay, it's over. It was like a picture of like your heart or it was like a bunch of statistics like this is what happens after one day of not vaping one month and one year and it was like you can really get your lungs back to like really good capacity after a year um and so it made me feel good that like the damage I did like wasn't so permanent yeah so just know I'm not trying to convince you to keep vaping that is what it sounds like Just know like there is life after vaping. I was also really worried that like when I drank, I wasn't going to enjoy drinking anymore

because the best part of vaping for me was like vaping drunk. Like, oh my God. And let me tell you, I've had many cocktails since then. It's completely fine. I also think for this girl, it's easier to quit now. The shorter you're doing something, the easier it is to quit than like if it really has become a part of your life after a year like it's much harder to go back to old habits so I would quit now if you're even if you're wanting to I would recommend quitting as

well but I don't think you need to tell your husband like just get back to quitting like just get back to it right right I agree just get back to it I mean by the way your husband's definitely cheating too like let's be real. It's so hard. And in terms of like tangible, people always ask me like tangible things that they did. Did you use like a non-nicotine? They make different vapes that are like totally non-nicotine, non-tobacco that are fine for you. I didn't. I just went cold turkey and I think that's the best way to do it.

Yeah. Chewed a lot of gum. Oh, and just know like you will gain five to ten pounds. Like, it is what it is. It was also an appetite stimulant. Hey, girly swirlies. Yeah, you know what I mean. Thank you.

Hey, girly swirlies. My boyfriend of almost two and a half years seems to be allergic to the words, I love you. At our two-year mark, we were deciding if we were going to move in together, and I finally worked up the nerve to address it and told him I couldn't move in if we haven't said these words yet because what's the point? He essentially said he doesn't know for sure and proceeded to ask how would I know? Like we're at the learning annex or something. Mind you, we're in our early 30s. I explained how I felt and how I knew after a long conversation. He finally said, you know I do. I thought, phew, okay. We moved in together and that was in May. He still doesn't say the words I love you like ever. His actions say he loves me, so it's not really like I question it, but he's still not a, but it's not like, sorry, he still doesn't say the words I love you.

His actions say he loves me, so it's not really like I really question that he does. But obviously not, he's still not 100% sure if he won't even say it. I'm not happy with it, but I am so happy with him and I love our life together. Am I Delulu thinking he loves me and it's okay that he won't say it? Or should I press the issue more and possibly break my own heart? I just want to say like you making it to the two year mark with your boyfriend never saying I love you like you are a greater woman than I. For sure.

But honestly, it's giving Shailene an Aaron. Like I feel like he's an Aaron where he loves you. He doesn't need to say it. And also it's kind of a good question. Like how do I know? How do you explain like what love is? It's really like a feeling and when you know, you know. But like I could understand if he's a very like practical person, how do you know?

It's kind of like my favorite quote from A Walk to Remember. Love is like the wind. Like you can only feel it. You can't like see it or touch it or explain it. Now, I think that what's most important here is that he shows you that he loves you and you feel loved but he's just not like saying it all the time because that's better than the opposite right like someone who disrespects you but it's constantly like telling you that they love you that's true and if your relationship otherwise

is like totally good it's just it's like one thing some people are weird about the word some people like didn't grow up being told that they love you. Their parents didn't say it to each other. They like just aren't as comfortable with that word as other people are. So if what you're saying is true that like everything else is really great and your relationship is where it should be. It's just like he's funny about this word. I think it's workable.

I'm a little too comfortable with the word. I actually thank you for reminding me. I said it to somebody yesterday and it was the third time ever meeting them yeah I say it all the time but but also but like I say it love you bye like there's the love ya yeah I get off the phone like with State Farm love ya bye oh my god it's so embarrassing but I also like when I I have the depth where I say it to where, like, it means something. No, I think your point about, like, some people really have a, not an aversion, but it's not a part of their everyday lingo. Because it's so much, like, about how you grew up. And, like, your parents and parents saying it to you and parents saying it to each other.

Like, we grew up in a family where, like, we all gave each other lots of kisses and lots of love. Like, very affectionate verbally, physically. And so that's why we say it the way that we do so you have to come from a place of understanding like this person probably did it I do think it's really crazy to be two years into a relationship and never having said it no but then they got like she already did that so then it was like two and a half years I'm just stuck there with that fact honestly like she put in that work then it's two and a half years they're moving in together he lets her know in a roundabout way that he does love her without really being able to say I love you and now he doesn't say it as a follow-up so

you know what part of being in a relationship is like giving your partner what they need and so I feel like if you communicate you say he's like a very good boyfriend understanding he makes you feel safe like so if you say to him listen like kind of like love languages like I need to hear words of affirmation that you love me like that's what I need what do you need I think having that conversation is fair and like giving him an opportunity like being like I know you're like not that type of person but like that's just what I need in this relationship to feel safe what do you need yeah I don't know but it could end up like Shailene and Aaron where it's like you guys well then Shailene and Aaron weren't meant to be together so just saying just saying I think having a conversation is so fair

yeah of course you should communicate that but what if he can't what if like it just doesn't occur to him to use like to if you stop him he'll say yes I love you but like in everyday small moments like if it's not a part of his vocabulary he's not going to remember to say it well like a really good partner would work on it because if you express that it means something to you and it's something you need like a validation good luck yeah I feel like like deep into my relationship Ben and I finally started talking about like acts of service and like those love languages I thought it was like kind of boo hickey like I'm like okay you become a podcaster and everyone has to do the love language quiz and by the way let me tell you it was super helpful yeah like when me and ben took the quiz i remembered his and i think he remembers mine

mine is totally acts of service right like obviously i'm so lazy ben's is so words of affirmation and like time together and so like once i kind of i i knew that bed liked that but once i like put it into words and phrases i was like okay that's how i know how to be like a good wife no and you were probably doing all this other stuff that you thought was showing him. Here's a present. You loved him and it like wasn't moving the needle when it's like if you just channel your energy in a different way. No, we clown on love languages, but let me tell you, identifying your own and your partner's

is helpful. Maybe take the quiz with him. Seriously. Yeah. Seriously. Yeah. That's my advice. Okay. this one's like so crazy and it's our third and final dear jackson claude my husband and i recently left town for a long weekend and we left our kids with our babysitter who we've used many

times over the last year and a half she's always been over the top great with the kids she's also a nurse dream come true on this trip we set up a camera in our master bedroom because we have cleaners dogs etc the babysitter had her own room and bathroom. I started to realize I was getting a lot of notifications on this master bedroom camera, so I glanced quickly and realized the babysitter on multiple occasions was in our bedroom searching through every drawer, bedside table, cabinet, closet. At one point, she enters the room with a bag and appears to be thinking about taking things. She only took an old sweatshirt. On our outdoor ring camera, we also saw she took a bag and appears to be thinking about taking things she only took an old sweatshirt on our outdoor ring camera we also saw she took a bag of toilet paper and paper towels we immediately flew back with the excuse my husband had like that someone came up for work

i have not paid her i've not confronted her about the situation after seeing the videos i worry she could be like kind of unhinged i also worry i will never be able to trust another sitter again yeah you gotta worry about the unhingedness. Yeah. I want to say like somebody stealing toilet paper and paper towels, like in this economy, I understand. Like to me, that's, it's not giving deranged, but like stealing someone's old sweatshirt, like that's giving that kind of crazy person. Now I would pay her and I wouldn't say anything to her because what, is she going to fix her behavior and you'll trust her with your kids? No. So like pay her and be like, oh, thank you so much. And then ghost her her you never have to see her again yeah she could think you know you never left town again I agree and that's gonna

keep a crazy a potential crazy person at bay right like no bad blood pay oh thank you so much bye never again that's what I would say activate a crazy person then she'll come over to your house and like in the middle of the day if you don't pay her she'll come over looking for her money like she was taking toilet paper. She's not about to let her paycheck go. But now I need you to talk about like, how do you then trust someone else? Oh, I mean, every person is different,

but you do have to do like a lot of vetting. And I think also like spending time with the person before you leave for a trip or to leave for work, like to really establish trust before you have to trust them. Cause you can't, trust is built and it's earned. It's not just something that like you flip a switch and you're to trust them because you can't trust is built and it's earned it's not just something that like you flip a switch and you're like I trust this person that I don't know so I think to judge the next person based on what the previous person did is not fair but definitely to learn lessons is fair and what is like because I

remember always and everything comes back to the nanny diaries scarlett johansson's best work and she discovers there's like a nanny cam in the eye of the whatever yeah and i feel like in movies and tv they they talk about nanny cams a lot um as like this kind of crazy thing but i feel like is it like not that crazy like it's your kid with you know no it's not that crazy and also nowadays like everyone has cameras inside their homes outside of their homes there's uh blink there's google nest like everyone has cameras in their house or at least in and there's baby monitors so I think when you're putting the only thing about like those nanny cams it's like you're putting it somewhere where the person doesn't know that there's a camera but I think nowadays everyone should expect that there are cameras I guess that's true that's the difference between like a nanny cam and just like all the cameras that people

have for like baby monitors and stuff is like you see it mounted to the wall. Right. Versus like incognito. But I don't think it's that crazy. No, I that's how you establish trust. Right, right, right. But like Scarlett Johansson was really pissed when she found out. Yeah, she was.

But she was also on the brink of like some sort of breakdown at that moment in time in the film. She's like, she's taking the kids' room apart. She wasn't like actually mad about finding it. She was like, she was mad and then she found it and she gave her diatribe because they were listening. Yeah, that's a funny, by the way, that movie is so good. It is.

We rewatched it recently. It's really good. 10 out of 10. So those were dear toasters hopefully the swirlies get the help that they so desperately need if again you want to write in it's dear toasters at gmail.com or head over to our website the toast podcast.com and we gave you so many movie recommendations today little children first united 93 93. The Nanny Diaries, Glass House. And by the way, not Little Children.

That was not a recommendation. No, I was kidding. But in all seriousness, like seriously, United 93. If you're going to watch something tonight, like you need something, it's really a very powerful movie. Yes, agreed. It's a movie I feel like is so, like I could really, I've only seen it once and I cried so hard.

I don't know if I could ever watch it again. Yeah, I agree with that. But I think it's once is enough to like just know what happened. Exactly. So thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video

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