The Toast - Earthquakes & Period Panties: Friday, April 5th, 2024

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

Angelina Jolie's Lawyers Claim Brad Pitt's 'Physical Abuse of Jolie' Started Before Their 2016 Plane Incident (PEOPLE) (21:22)Here's what Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello will each walk away with as judge signs off on divorce (Page Six) (33:31)Gypsy Rose Blanchard holds hands with ex-fiance Ken Urker after splitting from husband (Page Six) (36:47)Michael Douglas on Becoming Benjamin Franklin (Variety) (46:47)Kirsten Dunst and Jimmy Kimmel Reveal Their Sons Got into a 'Fight' at Kindergarten (PEOPLE) (52:41)Queenie of The Week and Weenie of The Week (56:17)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials. Good morning, Millennials, and happy Friday. We are coming to you live, literally live, from the scene of the craziest thing that's ever happened to me and millions of others. I was sitting here mere minutes ago, I want to say six minutes ago, when the earth beneath me began to shake.

I, at the time, I didn't know, but I survived and experienced my first earthquake. Jackie? Jackie Jackie I ran. First of all I had literally no idea like that earthquakes could happen here. I thought it was like not our problem. They it's not really a problem. It's really crazy that one happened. We should look up the last time there was an earthquake in New York. Well let me tell you I'm sitting here and the building starts shaking. Now you live in New York, there's construction, things happen, but it went on like a hair too long and then it didn't stop. And I'm looking around and the thing is, is very sadly, I will have to be moving out of this office space sometime soon because I believe they're

demolishing the building and making condos. So, so you thought today was the day? I didn't. Especially because it's really been emptying out in here. And literally this morning when I walked in, we were remarking on like how empty it is in here. There's like four other offices in here. And we were just remarking on how empty it felt. And then like the building started to shake. I'm like, oh my God, they've started demolition and they don't know that I'm still here. I'm paying rent.

Help, help. And then I was like, then it stopped. But it went on so long that I really thought something was wrong with the building. You know, of course, first thing that came to mind, Surfside, that building, like these buildings just fall down. Yeah. So we grabbed our shit and we ran and we were like, you know what they teach you? First case of emergency, like you don't take the elevator. We didn't. We took the stairs, but it's so funny. Like what I grabbed on my way out, I grabbed my jacket, my sunglasses and my protein shake. I don't know. Do you have your phone?

Yes, of course. My phone never left my hand. And we're running down the stairs. And as we're going down the stairs, we hear someone in like two floors below us. There's like an art gallery. And the people working there were like talking. And they said earthquake. I'm like, wait.

So I popped my head in. I'm like, did you guys feel that? And they were like, yeah, we think it was an earthquake. And that made me feel better. And they didn't seem like rushed to be leaving the building. Yeah, yeah. No, and everybody is is feeling it like it's not just you like you well then I wrote in our family chat and then when other people like in different parts of town began to feel it I relaxed and went back upstairs but it was so crazy Dana texted me she was in the subway she did not feel it Satchel didn't feel it she's like not super far from me but she's how's that possible

I feel like she might have been in satcheland yeah you couldn't miss it it was so my knees are still shaky now people who live in California are probably like turn to get over I just saw a video I saw a video on x because I searched like New York because I wanted to see you know what was happening I saw a video from I think it's fan duel they post like New York because I wanted to see you know what was happening I saw a video from I think it's FanDuel they post like their offices and I mean it's crazy literally killing me killing me that we hadn't started recording yet well what time did you write did anybody feel that I made my first call at 10 24 did anybody anybody else just feel that 10 24? There's no realm in which we would have been recording. If that makes you feel, if it was like 10 32. Then I started to get

really panicked because I called Ben and it failed. I guess I got once a lot of people were making a lot of calls, like in my immediate, you know, five block radius, but it was giving like nine 11. Like I actually, that really panicked me. Like the cell towers were down I don't know it felt like an attack I am not okay I will never be okay it was a category 4.8 in New Jersey I hope everyone in New Jersey is okay like the thing about an earthquake is like yeah we feel it but doesn't the earth actually quake where it like at the center of it like are people hurt yeah and if there are maybe weaker structures hopefully they they're able to stay standing. Oh my God, that was so crazy. Like, are you like kind of jealous that like you missed out?

Everyone's talking about it, like all your friends? No, I feel like I'm a part of it because I was in all the group chats where it's like, do you feel it? Do you feel it? And I also feel grateful that I didn't have to. No, by the way, you guys like. That like moment of shock. But you know what? I feel like it was different for me because that was my first one.

And maybe the next time it happens, like I'll be able to remark on this journey. And like, oh, I've never felt an earthquake. I didn't even know that like that's what it felt like. I really thought seriously like the building was falling down. Yeah, but earthquakes really aren't supposed to happen in New York City. Like what's the word? Geographically? Geologically.

Like the sediment there, which is why it's a good place to build high, tall buildings. Like it's solid as a rock. So yeah, the largest earthquakes near New York City, they're pretty sparse over history. Oh my goodness. That was so, so crazy. I heard people in Connecticut were feeling it. Jersey, New York. That's so crazy.

4.8 magnitude. Okay. And like, what's like the worst magnitude? So like out of 10? Is it out of five? You know, it's a good question i would have thought five magnitude 9.5 was the largest one ever recorded in 1960 in chile damn well i hope everyone 4.8

is not jersey i hope everyone's okay i feel like it'll be before a few hours before we know anything. Guess where Ben was when the earthquake hit? The toilet. Like he would be, you know? And it's like. Did the water like slosh on him? Honestly, that's an amazing question, by the way. So embarrassing. Because like if you're a boy,

like we know you were pooping, you know? Yeah, you're not on the toilet. If you're peeing, right. Unless you're pooping. So embarrassing Ben made a duty this morning. I hope he was pooping because if he was peeing, it would be like, I would feel bad for your bathroom.

I would feel bad for me because you know, I'm the one who sets clean that up. Yeah, of course. Oh my God. Like I don't even know what I was planning on coming and talking about here today, but I will only heretofore be talking about this till the end of time.

My knees were shaking, but it is good to know like how I react in an emergency. I always find these sort of situations interesting because I learn a lot about myself like how in a real emergency I would react um and they say some people freeze some people fight I feel like I hop to it I was like let's get out of here yeah you and I made haste yeah you didn't panic that's good to know but there are other times where I've been in like a situation that I thought was scary. Like remember when I was on the toilet

in the middle of the night and Ben like very quietly snuck up on me and like I thought it was a murderer because I was half asleep. And it's so interesting. If there ever was a murder in my house, the only thing I would do is scream. Like I wouldn't run.

I wouldn't fight. I just froze and I screamed. Actually. We'll work on that that was so funny that just happened and it's perfect segue for my LA week so you know Brooke Brooke Schofield and Tana Mongeau have a podcast and they just went on tour and a crazy fan like stormed the stage and they both reacted in two totally opposite ways Tana ran Brooke didn't move. Like that's really how people react. And that is a very exciting for segue for me. So of course I come and run my big mouth on the podcast yesterday, right? Yeah. Probably 10 minutes after we wrap, I get a text from like our publicist and they're like, oh, Brookeield is confirmed so I went and I ran I'm like Brooke is you guys see me when it was already confirmed oh she didn't confirm due to the pressure she

texted me a couple hours later and was like oh my god my home friends are blowing up my phone shout out home friends love you and they were like shout out it's always I'm so sorry I'm terrible with my phone like I'm like it's totally fine I'm sorry I ran my big fat fucking mouth on the podcast. Like, everyone was blowing up her comments, which I like. But like, she had already said yes. I'm so embarrassed. Yeah.

Like, I am so, I can't wait one second. Like, let me give her a day. No, I can't. I'm like, so eager. Okay, but hopefully the home friends have smoothed it over. And they'll let Brooke know, like, it's just her eager turdy. She was excited. Be excited.

So I. Shout out to the home friends who are always platforming us to their influence I feel like the camp friends are always platforming us like that's our demographic oh yes if it's us but it's really the home friends yeah oh my god the homies I don't even know what like I was planning on like dilly-dallying, chit-chatting, pre-facified bantering about with you today. But they're like for me, there's B-E and A-E. Before earthquake and after earthquake. Like there are two different turdies.

You can say you knew me back when. Before and after. Yeah, well, we'll see about that. Though I don't know what this new turdy is going to be like. She's fragile. She really is. All she talks about is earthquakes and softball and is her friends and her mom. And her mom.

Like, it's, I'm okay. Why has that become our new favorite reference? I don't know. It's my, I used it the other day. I forget, like, nobody got it. All he cares about is friends and softball and his mom. It's not even softball. What is it?

What is the line? He doesn't play softball. He's a man. All he cares about. I think it's his friends and his mom. And his teammates and his mom. What is it? He cares about his mean girls.

Okay. Let me tell you something about Aaron. All he cares about is school and his mom. Let me tell you something about Aaron. All he cares about is school and his mom and his friends. Let me tell you something about Aaron. All he cares about is... I didn't even realize we were talking about Aaron. I thought we were talking about Shane Omen. I thought we were talking about Shane Omen too.

That's why we keep throwing face. All he cares about is his school and his friends and his mom. It's so... And Katie is at best. So funny that we brought this up because on my way home from work yesterday, I was just like thinking about stuff. And I remembered that there was this Mean Girls movie. And it's so crazy that like, remember how much hoopla like,

and it came and went. Without even the smallest of cultural impacts, honestly. Yeah. People younger than us are not going to be in 10 years quoting it the way we quote all he cares about is school and his friends and his mom like seriously what else was he saying that's the point of the joke like i guess a 17 year old boy who cares about school his friends and his mom sounds like such a mensch such a good kid a good kid yeah to be young yeah so yeah there was an earthquake I am okay thank you for checking in um I know you're okay

too so that's really really good and I hope everybody who experienced that like is okay yeah I hope everything is okay, like, out there, because, you know, closer to the source of the quake. At the center of it. I'm going to decentralize myself. Don't be surprised if you feel an aftershock. Maybe we'll get it on camera. You're going to make us keep filming until we do.

We are rolling in perpetuity. Yeah. I've got some work going on in the outside of my house today. So if you hear some construction for the first time, it's not. Oh my God. Thank God. I feel like I'm always getting blamed for the noise on this podcast.

Shame, blame in the construction game. Shame, blame in the roofing game. Well, the roofing game sounds like somebody who goes to parties and like drugs people. Not the roofing game.

It's actually a set of gutters. Shame, blame in the guttural gang gutter gang i like that not game okay but it's not a perfect rhyme with shame and blame that's okay that's okay we'll make an allowance. Are you okay? I realized like, just like giving up.

Like, are you here? She literally just like stopped being a podcaster. I realized, sorry, wait, this is so crazy. No,

it's not crazy. Okay. I just like forgot to respond to like a somewhat like important timely text so I just did it but the earthquake totally threw off my whole schedule got it your text response my whole life schedule like I feel like I just have to postpone everything life is different now I have to go on like an eight parade love like book me a trip to India girl like I need to in that moment like I really re-evaluated everything. I actually felt really good about my choices.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, I was going to say, are you going to do anything different? No, I love my life and I feel like I'm a good person. That's good always to reaffirm. Gut check. What movie is that from? It's gut check time.

Come on. Does anybody know what I'm talking about? No. Not I. Damn. I don't know. What is it? Maybe like a dream of yours.

No, no. I actually did have a weird dream. Like so weird that I'm not even going to share it because it actually will expose like how big of a loser I am. Do you know what I mean? Yes. But I now remember what I was going to come on this podcast and talk about. I had such a fabulous night out last night.

Oh, you did. You did. You in the satchel, dear satchel. It just kind of fell to like the back burner, you know, given my traumatic experience this morning. But Margaret and I hosted a dinner last night and it was so fabulous because we were like in charge of the guest list. We invited some of our favorite grullies and I was able to meet so many people,

especially one in particular who I hadn't met yet Jen Sherman the Peloton the Pelotoster the Pelotoster instructor who um was from that story we we discussed on the toast a couple of weeks ago about Christopher Nolan taking her class and the one he happened to watch was her like ripping apart one of his terrible movies um we had been like Instagram friends for a while and I got to meet her last night. She was so cool and like so pretty. And what I didn't know about her is like

she was the first Peloton instructor ever hired by Peloton. And I was like how did you hear about it before like it blew up? She was like I used to like read this blog.

I forget what it was called. I hadn't heard of it but I guess it was like a popular blog at the time like when blogs were a thing. And they were like just talking about it and I literally like

called the CEO and was like I would love to work. She taught in like a local studio in New Jersey where she lives. And then she became the first instructor ever. And she's still like an instructor, but she's the OG. I'm sure she's like so rich. Oh, she's like the first cast member. It's getting saucy, you know?

Were you going to say what blog it was? I hadn't heard of it. And I can't remember what it was called. Like, we love blog. I don't know. And I can't remember. It was called like, we love blog. I don't know. Like we go V. It was something like, it was something like that.

And it was, it was just like a fabulous side out. You know, every now and then I love to like LARP as like an influencer who does those sorts of things. And it was really fun. You are an influencer who does those. I'm really not.

You set the bar. That true that's true but I don't really do you're really an influencer you know but I don't do those like I don't go out like to events events I want to go to events invite me to your events you know she was really fun I had a great time and then I you know went through this earthquake and I came out a better woman so that's all for me what about you from you I'm sure your day was less traumatic but you never know this morning so far busy busy morning not earthquake earth shattering not earthquake caliber just me with my strands. I think I'm on day four of strands this week. Margo actually said something to me about your strands at dinner last night.

Did she say yesterday's were too thick? No, no. She didn't criticize them. She more so criticized you like as a human being. That I'm behind on a trend? No, she was like, by the way, like Jackie's like strands. And I was like, yeah. And she was like, like I did it first.

She was like, she totally copied me. I swear she said that. Okay. You know what? If that's what she wants to believe, like that causes me no harm. Yeah, of course. You know what I mean? Everyone's truth is their own truth, you know?

No, and it's like, even saying your truth is obviously like such an insult but it's like okay Jackie I don't Jackie I don't care also Jackie even though your truth is such an insult no no saying saying calling someone saying something and then you telling them that's their truth is such an insult is such that's what I meant. Not what she said. Like, so I'm not going to say that's her truth. So you're not going to insult her even though she insulted you? No. No, I'm really trying to stir the pot and you're like not letting me. No.

And if she was, I could think back to what inspired the strands, perhaps just the haircut where now I have shorter pieces. I honestly, like, I don't think one person can take credit for the strands. Like, it's a cultural phenomenon. And it's an amalgamation of things. It's really for the headphones. It's working for the headphones because I was doing my hair and wearing the other headphones, but I didn't love how that looked.

So it complements the headphones. But if she wants to be the credit taker, I'll let her have it. Oh, so you're letting her win. Okay. I see. That's very reverse psychology of you. Very interesting. No,

I'm really, I'm just trying to like, I'll be sure to tell Margaret what you said. I'm trying to be generous of spirit. And you know what? It's kind of annoying. Like you're giving like teacher energy. We're all winners here.

Like, please stop. I guess you were trying to start something and I thwarted your plans. I was, I was, but don't worry. I'll find a way to separate you two. I'll, I'll find a way to start something. And I thwarted your plans. I was. I was. But don't worry. I'll find a way to separate you two. I'll find a way to cause a chasm.

Schasm? What's that word? Schism. Chism? In your relationship. So that I remain your number one. And I remain Margaret's number one. That's how I stay on top of this sister gang.

Until I go and I talk to her about this. What are you setting a reminder to talk to Margo? I heard what you said about me last night. So we've got a great show today. We've got stories. We've got Queenie and Weenie of the Week checks. Tell me the stories. Like how are they feeling to you in a metaphysical sense?

Good. There's a lot of things that we need to know today. Oh good. Okay. So let's dive right in. Let's not dilly-dally talk about my trauma anymore. Without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know. Now, the Fast Five stories that you, I don't like you, need to know are brought to you by Papaya Reusables.

So disposable paper towels are bulky, they're expensive, and most importantly, they're super wasteful. I feel like if you live in a house with a lot of people, like you always know it's like, oh, I just put the new roll in. How is it gone already? And how are we out? One reusable paper towel from papaya replaces 17 rolls of disposable paper towels. They're very quick drying, so they won't get like that gross mildewy smell that some of our rags might get, or like our cloths. Each pack comes with the signature papaya hook so you can hang them around your house for different uses. Now, of course, comes to mind in the kitchen. I'd like to keep one in the bathroom because I live with a splasher. Like there's just always splashes of water all over my sink counter and it really, really bothers

me. It's just great to have in every room. They're super cute. They're not ugly. They look good. The hook is really cute. And you know, this is like, we're beyond being wasteful. We're more mature than that. And Papaya Reusables understands that level of maturity. Go to papayareusables.com to take 30% off site-wide with Code Toast. If you've got a little one in your life, I feel like you're just always cleaning crap up. There's like crap on the floor, crap on the table, crap on the sink, crap on the counter. Having a pack of Papaya Re reusables in the house will save you so much time, money on buying paper towels. PapayaReusables.com.

Take 30% off when you use our code T-O-A-S-T. That's 30% off site-wide when you go to PapayaReusables, R-E-U-S-A-B-L-E-S.com. Code TOAST for 30% off. Today's episode is also brought to you by Liquid IV. Liquid IV is the number one powered hydration brand in America. It has three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink. You tear, you pour, and you live more. One stick into 16 ounces of water hydrates you better than water alone.

And I have a personal anecdote I'd like to share because, as you know, I'm like very much in my fitness era. And for the last, like, I want to say like two months, I've been working out like four to five times a week. That's so crazy. I literally look the same. I don't want to talk about it. But a couple of weeks ago, I was feeling so fatigued. And I said to my trainer, Hillary, I was like, I feel like I'm like hitting a wall. Like every workout now, I just like, I can't do it. I get dizzy and stuff. And she's like, are you taking your electrolytes? And I was like, no. And she was a hundred percent right. Like I feel so much better. And I feel like that can be emblematic if you're in your fitness era.

If you're just in like you're trying to get from day to day era. Electrolytes, all the vitamins and liquid IV, like will just make you feel more whole. It'll make you feel better. Whether you're, you know, spending your days working out, spending your days just working, spending your days running around, trying to catch a toddler. There are eight vitamins and nutrients. It's non-GMO. It's free from gluten, dairy, and soy. vitamins and nutrients. It's non-GMO. It's free

from gluten, dairy, and soy. And they come in four delicious sugar-free flavors, white peach, green grape, raspberry melon, and lemon lime. I love the sugar-free flavors for a night after drinking. I find them really, really helpful. Turn your ordinary water into an extraordinary hydration with Liquid IV and get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code TOAST at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code TOAST at liquidiv.com. That's promo code T-O-A-S-T for 20% off. Thank you. You're welcome. Hi. Our first story, new details are emerging but about the um dispute between angelina jolie and brad throwback just put it nicely angelina jolie's lawyers claim that brad pitt's physical abuse

of her started before their 2016 plane incident so as part of the former couple's ongoing legal battle over their french winery chateau marival the actress's legal team filed is that like marival rose like i don't know that's like a really good wine it is a really good wine we'll have to research no no because you need to pay attention pay attention please like you need to hear the deets so we can discuss because legal documents came out today that are about the winery, but then point back to stuff in their personal relationship, which, you know, everybody's interested in.

Her legal team filed a motion seeking to release communications they say would prove that Brad would not let Angelina sell her share of the winery to him unless she agreed to a more onerous and expansive NDA. Within the new filing, Angelina's lawyers make the claim, quote, while Brad's history of physical abuse of Jolie started well before the family's September 2016 plane trip from France to LA, this marked the first time he turned his physical abuse on the children as well. Jolie then immediately left him. This is a pattern of behavior. Whenever there's a,

this is what a friend of his said. This is a pattern of behavior. Whenever there is a decision that goes against the other side, they consistently choose to introduce misleading, inaccurate, and or irrelevant information as a distraction, a friend of Brad said, because Brad obviously cannot be reached

for comment on this. I just want to say the Miraval Rose is a joint venture between the Perrin family of Mason, Nicolas Perrin, and Chateau de Bucastel, and Hollywood actors Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. That wine, I feel like everybody knows that bottle. You put your thumb in the bottom, and it's like short and fat, and has like the tall. That's Angelina and Brad. I didn't know that.

By the way, now it kind of makes sense why they're going so hard. It's not just a piece of property. It's like a whole business, too. Oh, yeah. It's a business. And it's not just like. Outside of the one bottle. It's not just like we make our own wine it's like literally probably one of the biggest rosés in the world yeah oh man so they've been arguing over the wine for a while and now

she's alleging that he was more abusive than that time on the plane and that he tried to get her to sign an NDA so that she wouldn't reveal these things and now she's revealing those things plus that he tried to make her sign an NDA so this is getting really nasty and I wonder how Brad's gonna respond because I feel like on the one hand he won't really publicly to that level but I feel like on the other hand his name has really been besmirched over this and the stuff about the plane I feel like he was starting to come back from you know like remember when he was at an award show and like he got like a standing ovation because I think people really feel like he's been misrepresented and this kind of is even worse than everything that we had already heard. So funny that you feel that way because I kind of

feel like it's been really messy there have been allegations of abuse like physical they said he was an alcoholic and that's why they land the plane and it's been now years since that plane incident that was 2016 and I don't know why I feel like it's completely unaffected and I feel like he's more popular like he's America's speeder I feel like he's one of those people who literally can't be taken down I feel like for a second it it tarnishes his name but then I think there was a lot of support around him I think people really think that they find him to be a good guy but now it's like more allegations he was abusing her like more allegations like this is not good this is so messy and I just know like I just know Jennifer Aniston is like you know everything happens for a reason she's like no totally like

I'm sure for a while like seeing them like love happy a million kids yeah yeah America's sweetheart like to lose like a great love of yours to anyone is hard but to lose it and then they become like the biggest thing like that's horrible like I have actually a lot of sympathy for Jennifer Aniston in that moment and now it's probably like she's sitting there with her therapist who probably heard a lot about this it's like you know everything happens for a reason therapist who probably heard a lot about this. It's like, you know, everything happens for a reason, Jen. Yeah, and he's just in this mud-slinging, really contentious, really messy situation. So funny, they're both like so, more so her. She's like really out of Hollywood.

Like in terms of actually like acting, but also I feel like she doesn't have like famous friends. He's like, you know, kind of like a darling. And darling and there are so many people women and men who have such positive things to say about him like one of my favorite yeah celebrity moments that I feel like I reference all the time you can add it to Uber and Keenan's Uber driver is the story Gwyneth Paltrow told about him on Howard Stern where like they were dating they were very young they neither one of them were like particularly A-list. They were really, really famous, but they didn't have like the sort of cachet

or power they have now. And Harvey Weinstein. Oh my God. What is that? Emergency alert. Okay, like thanks. What is it? 20 minutes too late.

4.7 magnitude earthquake has occurred in the New York City area. Residents are advised to remain indoors and call 911 if injured. Like, thanks, that was 30 minutes ago. Are they for real? Are they for real? Seriously. 36 minutes ago.

38. That's insane. What does that do, that notification? Like, letting you know to keep doing what you're doing, and if you're not okay, ask for help? No, wait. And the way that scared the fuck out of me. Today's not my day.

That's the aftershock. Just give me a minute. You know how fragile I am. Yeah, yeah, I know. I know how fragile you are. And you are justified in this situation. Yeah, that was nutty. Should I like stay here all day?

I was going to go to the kosher grocer no stay indoors they're stupid right now back to my story Gwyneth Paltrow tells tells this story they didn't say stay indoors it said like it's that keep doing what you're doing it said keep on okay it didn't but sure um but actually I guess like if you're outdoors some of those new buildings that they're building are being made yes and like stuff is just like flying off of them and i i don't know how they could withstand an earthquake honestly i wonder if there was any damage like don't walk near those i'll just make haste everyone know everyone knows the yeah yeah yeah

the one um yeah they're building these like insanely tall buildings for what so literally and they're building them they're building them so foreign foreigners can like invest money there's like this whole like conspiracy theory that like foreigners buy these hundred million dollars apart million dollar apartments to launder money from illegal activity nobody lives there like you know they built that world's tallest new building there was an article came out nobody lives there it's all different people from different countries buying them just to launder their money like you walk in the doorman are like nobody lives here that's so crazy back to this let me just finish this harvey wine scene sorry there's got to be a better way to launder your money

than for people to like build these insane i feel. I feel like we've learned from Breaking Bad. It's like literally hard. They did it with the car wash, you know? I don't know. I never watched Breaking Bad. And if I think about money laundering long enough, I can figure out how it works. But it's one of those things that. I can't believe you've never seen Breaking Bad.

That's like one of the craziest things. Some fun fact about me. So he's making all this money being a drug dealer but like how is he going to declare to the government as like how he has this nice car or whatever so he buys this like small decrepit car wash and like makes it successful with like fake transactions like oh thanks for coming no one's in front of you then the wife is like is checking people out she's like thanks for coming and No one's in front of you. And then the wife was like, is checking people out. And she's like, thanks for coming. And no one's there. Like, and so they end up having all this income, legitimate income that they're like literally putting their own money into this business. Yeah.

That's so funny. So Gwyneth Paltrow told this story where her and Brad Pitt were dating. They were really young, but they like, you know, were stars on the rise. And Harvey Weinstein was being a fucking freak and like, uh,

really aggressive with Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt like sort of threw himself physically in front of Gwyneth and was like screamed at Harvey Weinstein and put his whole career on the line Harvey Weinstein was the most powerful person in the world and Brad Pitt was on his way to becoming this like A-list movie star and how you know Gwyneth will always love Brad because of the way he put himself like obviously physically in harm's way but but then also his career. Like, he was, you know, I don't think he ever made a movie with Harvey Weinstein, and he still went on to be,

like, the greatest actor. But, so there are people who have fabulous things to say about him. But that also was a long time ago. Yeah, and everybody has different experiences with different people, but I just wonder if he will... Speak out. Get down.

Well, I'm just shocked about this, Rose. Like, I think it's so impressive. What? Are you not recording? No, no, no. I'm recording. I'm recording just at the bottom of the of one, two, three, four on the roadcaster. I don't have any buttons.

Me neither. OK, OK. I used to have like the reds on the side and then I'm like, should the green be pressed? No, Jackie, as long as like your volume is going up. Yeah yeah yeah that's what I just went yeah it is it is sorry. Third heart attack. Earthquake. Jackie and the emergency notification.

Listen today's today is just not for us. No honestly. Even though it's Friday and we didn't even celebrate. I know the theme of today has been panic. Panic at the toast dough. Panic at the toast co. Title. Yeah. panic at the toast dough panic at the toast co title yeah i can't believe we haven't even mentioned that it's friday who are we jackie i told you we you know who we are we're ae after earthquake girls

wow okay well um i do feel like this is the beginning of more because Brad obviously has to defend himself from these allegations because it's not good. No, it's not. But I'm just really sort of stuck on them being the faces of that wine. And how impressive that it became such a big popular brand without them being like the physical faces of it.

Like that's how like I feel liquor. They might have bought the Chateau when it was already the wine that they were making that was already popular. Maybe they just loved the wine it exists like without that point even though it said the thing that I read it was like a joint venture well now it was probably a joint venture I know you're right you're not saying this is what happened but it could have been a joint venture and then they bought this third of Chateau Marival and that's why you just don't buy a winery.

Yeah. It just gets so messy when you're buying a winery. And it's so funny because I was actually thinking about buying a winery, but now I'm not going to. But look, it's a mess. I can't say it's a mess without thinking of that movie, The Campaign. I've never seen it. The one with-

Seth Rogen. Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis. Yeah, same thing. Same thing. Not Seth Rogen and Uma Thurifianakis? Yeah, same thing. Same thing. Not Seth Rogen and Uma Thurman. No, no, I know. I knew which one you meant. They're like both running for a local seat.

And Zach Galifianakis is just like, it's a mess when he's talking about the town. Never seen it. It's a really good movie. Let's watch it together sometime. Movie night. And it's a great movie on like our civic system, I would say. Love that. together sometime movie night and it's a great movie on like our civic system i would love that and why it's important to have no taxation without representation i've been saying that for years

but i just say no taxation she's supposed to say no taxation period period if i ever run for office it'll be no taxation okay okay you know the one two three, three, four, it's off of the box? The two isn't clicked. It's still fine, right? Yeah, neither is mine. Did you fuck with it from yesterday? I turned it off and on by accident. It's fine. Like, okay.

But why shouldn't it be clicked? I don't know, but mine isn't, and I haven't touched it. Like, please, seriously? I'm seriously panicking. By the way, if we... I can't go on. Seriously?

If we, like, wrap this episode and we don't have any audio, like, I can't go on. Seriously. If we wrap this episode and we don't have any audio, I can't go through this again. No, we're calling it. We're calling it and I will write an apology letter to all of our sponsors from today that we just couldn't get it done. I'm sorry to Papaya Reusables. I'm sorry to Liquid Ivy.

I'm sorry to Vanderpump Villa and I'm sorry to Built Rewards. We'll do it on our Instagram. Yeah, we'll see. Let's keep going because there's only one way to find out our next story is only number yeah i'm aware but it gets a little we'll cruise here's what sofia vergara and joe manganello will each walk away from at their favorite kind of news, divorce financial news. It's a bit of misleading news because they had a prenup that they're both honoring. So the judgment obtained by page six details how they will divide their assets and property as dictated by their prenuptial agreement.

He walks away with his clothing. I mean, what is she going to do with his clothing? I would hope so. with his clothing. I mean, what is she going to do with his clothing? I would hope so. Clothing, jewelry, and miscellaneous personal effects, as well as, as well of his earnings and accumulations since the start of their separation,

which was July 2nd, 2023. She leaves with her personal effects, including jewelry and clothing. And what about her, like, period underwear? Does she get to keep those? Like, why are we reading this? So I think what they did was they cut them down the middle. Not a cool joke while I'm drinking my protein shake.

They cut them down the middle. Do we have a paper towel? He got one half and she got the other half. Oh, God. I just stained the carpet. Like, this carpet's destroyed. I was going to throw it out anyway because it's literally, like, shit stained with, like, Theo's duty.

Oh, my God. Oh. That was really, like, one of the... The thing is, like like we are so funny like it's just not fair it's dangerous man i'm not even bothering to clean the carpet like it's truly a lost cause not today claude whoo yes i did hear that they cut them down the middle as well. She had to keep her jewelry, clothing, the left side of her period. And her earnings since they separated last summer. That's good.

They never had any community property between them. And they both acknowledge the validity of their prenup. This is such like a standard Hollywood marriage, by the way. Like what about a house? Yeah, it's possible that like they just moved into his house or her house and it was already in one of their names. Like, I feel like after what she went through with her crazy ass ex and his embryos, like she was not going into another marriage.

You know how in love she was? Without being strapped, you know, properly prepared. And he's like a classic Hollywood guy. I feel like if you've been in Hollywood Hollywood guy I feel like at if you've been in Hollywood for a certain amount of period and you've been like you know scarred and bruised and battered like you go into this like almost methodically very similar to Ariana Grande like when you're at a level you have it you know tight and it's just crazy to me that like there are prenups that people don't honor then what the fuck was the point like remember it was like a

huge win for kelly clarkson when the judge uh announced like we after months we will be moving forward with the prenup well duh why the fuck did we spend all the money on the lawyers and the time and energy signing it before the marriage yeah yeah plus they don't have kids that makes it easier yeah same with ariana ronde right our next story um some major news for miss gypsy rose blanchard she was spotted holding hands with her ex-fiance ken erker after splitting from her husband and she told people magazine that she's going to be getting some cosmetic surgery what do you think she's going to get done she's getting rhinoplasty I respect it I do I respect it too I respect anyone who wants to you know get plastic surgery I'm not a plastic surgery shamer no me neither and also like like I see like I see what would bother her with her nose you know what I mean it's not a perfect

nose oh I mean like it's just very real like I'm a big fan of like changing things that you don't like or that you and I feel like sometimes someone will be like I hate my nose and it's like the perfect fucking nose you're like shut up and then with Gypsy like yeah girl get a nose job love that for you I was gonna say I feel like you know she's 32 so it's like I would hope I at that age like you you love the skin you're in you know and that just like makes me sad that she wants to change herself but maybe she's wanted to change herself all this time but she was in jail she probably didn't have the financial resources and then and before that like she was under her mother's thumb no which is a nice way of saying munch is housed in my it's a very nice

way of saying it we also have to realize like with gypsy like we're literally probably dealing with someone with the emotional maturity given like her life she was you know stuck at home for 15 years and then in prison for eight like well that math doesn't add up but you know what I mean she is probably like the emotional maturity of like a 22 year old yeah she's just catching up now but what is interesting is that she was spotted showing like some PDA with her ex-fiance she just split up from her husband they were smoking cigarettes holding hands, doing a little grocery shop at the Dollar General. I'm sorry, but like Gypsy Rose needs to give classes

on how to catch a man, multiple men, make them literally kill for you. I know, and I don't want to shame any of our girls listening who are single, but like Gypsy's been out of jail for all of five minutes and she's had two boyfriends. And what have you done in the last month? How many dates have you been on?

Claudia, she's had a husband, a fiance have you done in the last month how many dates have you been on Claudia she's had a husband a fiance an ex-fiance now boyfriend like you need to step maybe that should be the next business venture once things quiet down for her you know you can't stay so famous forever gypsies rules of love gypsies rules of love she is doing a new show now like gypsy rose breaking free sort of thing tv life after lockup but that's kind of in congress what i felt like your take on her was what was my take which is like she was doing like her post jail press and then she was gonna go live the buccal chair is destroyed i feel like buccal cleans easily oh no i'm such an animal. I blame you. Do we have any?

For being too funny. I think under the sink we have some Folex. Let me just spray it while I'm here. I apologize for being too damn funny. You should. Oh, my God. This is an expensive chair. Let me soak it up. Absorb.

What did I say about Gypsy? Today's episode is just fuck-cocked beyond. Yeah. Like, sorry. we can't be perfect no like and it's Friday like fuck off okay what you had said about Gypsy was you felt like she was doing like the jail press you know sort of getting her back and then she was gonna go live a quiet life and she wasn't about this and she was just gonna go like be married with her husband but now I feel like she's doing her show. She left her husband.

She's kind of woman about town. I feel like she's going to stay being a public figure. Perhaps like the quiet life wasn't for her, but it was for that, that freak, whatever his name was, Ryan. Ryan.

What is it? Um, but the two of us, like I'm cleaning my chair. You're doing your computer. I have a tide pen. That's good too. Ryan Scott,

RSA, RSA, Ryan Scott RSA RSA Ryan Scott Anderson oh yeah he's a three-name wonder much like um you know F Scott Fitzgerald must like Gypsy Rose Blanchard wait five minutes and then wipe away with a stain cloth okay so I have to wait five minutes somebody remind me in five minutes this is so crazy like He's a three-name wonder like GRB. Oh, like GRB, correct. Unless he was copying her. I could see that for him. No, I told you I didn't like him.

We're newly together, Wed. Shut up. Anyways, Gypsy Rose has another man and you don't. That's the headline. Jackie's putting you bitches in your place this week. Just kidding. Everyone run your own race. Seriously. It's so's so true it's not a competition everyone's timeline is their own and like you know yeah Gypsy has a boyfriend but she was also in prison for eight years and her mom locked her up for 20 like did that happen to you no so we all we all have our own you know we're all dealt a deck of cards in life okay and some are different

than others and it's like she left her husband. Now she's going back to her ex. Like, that's not always the best thing to do. You broke up for a reason. A thousand percent. Like, also Gypsy, like, perhaps meet someone new? She will. Don't worry about her.

Now, I have a crazy question. At what point was this man her fiance? Yeah, of course. I'm like, is he the killer? No, no. But like, is he just like a pen pal from prison like when would she have time to have gotten engaged how did the two meet okay that's a really good question

now that i'm getting the stain out of the chair i see like lipstick stains and like other things like just he they became engaged after he wrote to her in 2018. While she was serving in her prison sentence. He reached out after watching Mommy Dead and Dearest. The documentary based on her childhood story. They got engaged in October 18. However he broke up with her when the act debuted in Hulu. Oh my God.

So he's just like. Obsessed with TV. Based on. No it's like. I like this show. I'll marry you. Oh this one was bad. But maybe life after lockup changed his mind. According to her ebook, that's what she said.

That he broke up with her after the act. I guess he didn't like Joey King's portrayal. I just have to say, I'm obsessed with Joey King. I just want to say, based on that, I don't like him. I agree. Did you see Joey King is in this new Hulu. I think it's a show based on a book. We were the lucky ones.

I have heard it's very good. She literally had to like turn off all of her comments on Instagram. Like people are such animals. I can't. People are such animals. Them and their fucking watermelon emoji. Shove it up your ass, bitch. Okay.

It's so crazy out there. it's so crazy out there so crazy out there i'm so glad i'm not one of the mentally ills you know like i i stand firmly on solid ground and i feel really good about that i'm so glad that we have this like peaceful pocket of the internet of smart thinking listeners but it's so dark out there. We're so lucky we have each other. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story?

What number? A little biopic news. Oh, my favorite. Number four. Number four, though. No. Is it the biopic news that's brought to you

by Vanderpump Villa? It is. This is a really fun new series from Lisa Vanderpump. It's called Vanderpump Villa and it is on Hulu. She has a brand new home there on Hulu and she also from Lisa Vanderpump. It's called Vanderpump Villa and it is on Hulu.

She has a brand new home there on Hulu and she also has a brand new home. It's an escape to the French countryside. So the series is giving very much like upstairs, downstairs, Downton Abbey energy where they have these like fabulous young hot things working in this gorgeous, fabulous, rich villa for these, you know, guests. And it's fun. It's VIP. You're entering first class luxury and world class drama.

guests and it's fun. It's VIP. You're entering first class luxury and world class drama. So the work staff live, work and play together 24-7 while dealing with, you know, rivalry, romance, misadventures. So it's a workplace drama from Lisa Vanderpump. It has that bon voyage, French escape, luxury. I feel like this reality show kind of feels different than other reality shows. I've never seen a reality show set in like gorgeous France in gorgeous France. It's always like American trash. No, not Vanderpump Villa. It's on Hulu. You can escape to the French countryside at Chateau Rosabel,

which will serve as the opulent background for the new series. Audience are going to get to indulge in an old world setting with modern day fun throughout the wealthy and VIP guests as they experience an extravagant Vanderpump style vacation that only Lisa Vanderpump can pull off.

The series has just premiered. You can watch new episodes of Vanderpump Villa every Monday now on Hulu. I feel like we've all been looking for like a new reality show. Lisa Vanderpump is kind of, once it has the LVP stab of approval, like we're good to go. And same with Hulu. So watch the new episodes of Vanderpump Villa. They are airing every Monday now on Hulu. They just premiered.

So catch up if you're behind. And thank you Vanderpump Villa and Hulu for sponsoring today's episode. Today's episode is also brought to you by Built Rewards. Listen up to anyone who rents. Do you ever feel like you're stuck in this loop of rent payments, just watching your money vanish into thin air? Well, it's time to turn that rent game around and start earning some serious rewards. And that's where Built Rewards comes in. Built is breaking ground as the first rewards program

that hooks you up with points on your rent. Even if you're still rocking with the old school rent vibes, you know, you're writing a check, Built Rewards has got your back. They will mail the check for you, basically like having a personal rent paying assistant. Every month you pay your rent and then you watch the built points roll in and you can spend the points on amazing things. So you can use your points, of course, on a dream vacation, towards a flight or a hotel. They have over 500 airlines and over 700,000 hotel and property partners. You can use your points to sweat it out, redeem your points to book fitness and studio classes. You can also use your points towards a future rent payment or towards a future down payment

on a future home. So just in the spirit of transparency, I want you guys to know I love Built Rewards. I've been a Built member for like two years. I'm actually an investor in the company. That's how hard I believe in it. You can earn points. I mean, paying rent is the most infuriating thing ever. It's like flushing money down the drain. And especially if you're into points culture, you know, like that's your biggest expense every month. You should be earning points for it. And now you can with Built Rewards. You can earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbuilt.com slash toast.

I feel like a lot of the toasters are Built members already because I've been talking about it for so long. But if you're not, go to joinbuilt, B-I-L-T, dot com slash toast to earn points while paying your rent at joinbuilt.com slash toast. Thank you, love. You're welcome. Our next story, biopic news.

Michael Douglas will be playing and is playing. The series is like shot and locked and loaded. He's doing press for his series where he plays Benjamin Franklin. Okay. Michael Douglas was invited to play Benjamin Franklin in Apple TV's Franklin, and he immediately took out a $100 bill. He said, I looked at Ben and thought,

I've got a long ways to go, the two-time Oscar winner told Variety. So Michael Douglas is obviously doing press because we've talked about him two days in a row. Yes, it's so true. Which has never happened. I don't know if we've ever talked about him one day in a row. I have to say the craziest thing,

and I know people are going to be like, Claudia, you're a disgrace. That like you don't really know Michael Douglas.'t know no i like know him oh my god there's more protein shake on my shirt but that you confuse him with michael j fox yep oh really okay that makes me feel better which means that it's not just us and that's not like a a childhood thing i think either i think they're like michaels of a certain age who who are in a lot of really iconic things that we don't watch I know neither one of them stands out to us is back to the future that's good yeah I'm happy for him um and I know Michael Douglas like Catherine Zeta-Jones yes And Michael J. Fox Parkinson's. Curb your enthusiasm?

Yes. Got it. Michael Douglas, Franklin. Michael Douglas' dad, Kirk Douglas? Nepo baby. Yes. Nepo baby. I mean, he's what?

Nepo grandpa. Yeah. Anyways, he's playing Franklin in Stacey Schiff's, based on in Stacy Schiff's based on Stacy Schiff's a great improvisation Franklin France and the Birth of America it follows Ben Franklin's 1776 trip to Paris where he hopes to persuade the king to fund America's fight for independence Noah Jupe co-stars as his grandson traveling companion Temple if we didn't get Francis support who knows what what would have happened says Douglas honestly this sounds really great yeah it's giving like American Revolution vibes like that one part of history like I kind of know I remember you know the red coats the British are coming the Boston Tea Party it's like we know it because we learned it in school it's like one of the

classics things that you learn in school but I feel like there haven't been a lot of period pieces made about it and especially not like big big ones that everybody has seen you know I feel like there haven't been a lot of period pieces made about it. And especially not like big, big ones that everybody has seen. You know, I feel like that time period in general, there's like, where are the movies? Right. Like we don't have a George Washington. We got Lincoln. Oh, classic Daniel Day. Daniel Day, GDL.

Triple D. But I want everyone to know my stain is like, the chair is like the material where the stain was like a shit, but it's white, you know? Great. Yeah, you just like scrubbed it off, scratched it off. Yeah, no, I definitely, like I kind of crushed this. Like, I'm not going to lie.

So he talks about the role and the show, which again, I have been pretty much influenced to watch. He was asked, what would Ben Franklin think about the state of US politics today? the role and the show which again I have been pretty much influenced to watch he uh he was asked what would Ben Franklin think about the state of U.S. politics today and he said he'd probably be a heart attack. 1000% WWBFD what would Ben Franklin do? I don't know he'd probably go fly a kite right? No what would Ben Franklin think? Is Ben Franklin the one who invented electricity? Thomas Edison. But Ben Franklin like was was an inventor no he was swirling around with that kite no maybe kite and it got struck by lightning and he was like energy no i don't know

what the fuck i'm talking about brent franklin electricity the lightning rod ben franklin and the kite experiment thank you i'm literally a genius historian. He did not discover electricity during this experiment. However. Oh, wait. I'm sorry. To dispel another myth, Franklin's kite was not struck by lightning. If it had been, he probably would have been electric.

I was about to say. Instead, the kite picked up the ambient electrical charge from the storm. How do these historical rumors get started? Do you know what I mean would say. Instead, the kite picked up the ambient electrical charge from the storm. How do these, like, historical rumors get started? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like, um, like, George Washington never told a lie. And, like, the wooden teeth, or was that real? No, I think everybody had wooden teeth in that day. Like, what, were they going to have braces?

Okay, wait. Wait, what? Like, they had real teeth. Like, humans have teeth. Right, teeth right but like say you had a rotten tooth that had to go what would they put in a piece of wood how frightening you look like piece of wood and that's what they would say george washington and mercedes javis mom said to george washington in that moment you don't remember this part of the history books you look like piece of wood yeah and that's how historical myths get started and I just feel like that's like the only

like the toast is the only show where you will get the absolute most random niche reference in pop culture like I don't know if anybody has ever even remarked on that one line the way my group of friends had from that when Mercedes Javi got married it was a gorgeous ceremony they're still together honestly like iconic couple. Her mom is like just one of those classic, they say classic Persian, but I feel like it's every like immigrant parent, like very critical. And she comes out and she's like all this gorgeous makeup. She's like, mom, how do I look?

Like a bride on her wedding day. And she goes, you look like piece of wood. And then another line I love to quote. She's walking down the aisle she looks gorgeous very you know very busty dress she gets to the altar and her husband goes whispers to her your cans look sick and honestly her cans did look sick and so do yours beautiful day yours oh thanks so yeah all George Washington cared about was school and his mom and his friends is that bad all's that to say um okay won't be watching this but good for Michael Douglas you'd

love to see people out here you know women in the workplace you do our fifth and final story is really cute news actually I didn't know, Jimmy Kimmel was participate was, were, uh, capable of participating in such cute news, but it is. Wow. I never thought you would say there's cute news that has to do with Jimmy

Kimmel. Yeah. I find Jimmy Kimmel insufferable. Does anybody else like, I find like Jimmy Fallon, it's his job to be insufferable. I just want to say, I disagree.

Cause like, actually maybe I find Jimmy Fallon to be like, you know, oddly endearing. Like I find him to be very America's sweetheart energy. But I feel like that's more reflective of like a endearing feeling I have towards NBC. I just feel like NBC is like Bravo. It's like all the networks I like.

I find Jimmy Kimmel insufferable. Colbert would punch in the face. Like I hate all of those guys. Yeah. Seth Meyers. Yeah. Irrelevant. I don't know.

Yeah, right. Like you're not. It's getting late, late, you know? Yeah. Are you ready for our cute Jimmy Kimmel news? I guess. Who'd have thunk? I don't know if I'm ready. The Kirsten Dunst and Jimmy Kimmel revealed that their sons got into a fight in kindergarten.

Oh, you know what? I'm so glad you brought up Kirsten Dunst because she said something funny. Well, this is another funny thing that she said, but she was on Jimmy Kimmel Live and they revealed that their two kids who are the same age go to kindergarten together and they recently had some trouble in school. Jimmy said they had a fight.

You know, did you hear about this? And she said, she said, I heard in our parent teacher conference, Miss Julie told me about it. I know that Billy was sitting in a chair and Ennis then went to sharpen a pencil or something, came back, saw there was an empty chair and sat in it. And Billy came back and was mad that Ennis was in his chair. That's cute. Kirsten Nunst is doing press for something. I don't know what, but she keeps popping up for me. And she said a lot of like

cute, funny things that were all completely negated because then she also said something positive about Jonathan Glazer. And I was like, oh, I can't take this person seriously. were all completely negated because then she also said something positive about Jonathan Glazer. And I was like, oh, I can't take this person seriously. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. But she did say, and I feel like it was actually, like, it made a lot of sense because she was asked about plastic surgery.

She's like, I just don't do it because I'm afraid of looking crazy. And honestly, I like looking a little bit old. Like, I get booked for jobs. Like, I'm a working actor. And then she was also, someone was like, would you ever do another superhero movie? She's like, yeah, of course. I have kids. Like, I got to pay pay bills they pay really well and then she also said when asked about like method acting she was like I'm a mom like how am I gonna method act to come in as you

know Mary Todd Lincoln like into the living room I'm a parent she's like I feel like that's only something like a man can get away with like no I'm a full-time parent. I can't come in in costume and in character. No, I'm obsessed. That's hysterical. She's in a new project called Civil War. Got it. And I, for a second, I'm thinking, is this a period piece about the Civil War?

Because that, it would be like, you know, when it rains, it pours. All of a sudden we're getting American history period pieces. But I don't think that's what it is also um when we were having the conversation earlier this week about it's giving it's modern day conversation oh it's like dystopian earlier this week about like celebrity couples who do the same thing a lot of people were commenting that we forgot about her and Jesse Plemons and

they really are on the same level they're both like really serious working actors who aren't like you know getting paparazzi like they probably have a really actually a really nice life yeah because of the way she talks she sounds very normal yeah she does that's funny where was she saying that stuff she's been doing just like a bunch of different press for this project and it just all came up on your tiktok twitter well this project civil war it's it's not it's not a period piece, though. It's like, you know, it's modern. Okay. Just want to clarify.

Those were the best five. I really enjoyed them. I'm not going to lie. So much so, you know, I shit-stained the chair. But don't go anywhere. It's Queenie and Weenie of the Week, our weekly segment where Jackie and I bestow an important honor to two different people, places, or things for being the Queenie of the Week or the Weenie of the Week. Just a reminder to everyone to act right, you know? We have to keep everyone afraid, you know? Ruling with an

iron fist. Don't act like a weenie because you will be Weenie of the Week. Now let's start positive with Queenie. My Queenie of the Week is me because I went through something extremely traumatic and then I came here and really gave I think one of our best shows like definitely this week um like that Sofia Raga moment was classic Jackson Clod it'll go down in the history books and all that after experiencing not one not two but three traumatic moments before 10 30 a.m. so I am giving myself the queenie of the week honor this week and I hope that's okay that's okay for queenie of the week this week I'm giving myself oh for successfully pranking you on April Fool's yeah that was good no that was good honestly

that was good yeah I mean there are queenie moments abound for the two of us we could go on we could but you know what you're actually inspiring me to change my weenie of the week to me for trying to prank you on April Fool's and failing so abysmally. Like, that was actually the weenie, like, the truest definition of weenie. Like, weenie. Because I was going to give my weenie before you just inspired me

to the Instacart driver who shot Angie Harmon's dog. But that's not weenie. That's murderer. That's not weenie. That's not embarrassing. It's important that we keep weenie, like, fun and light, not to a murderer. So, weenie of the week, actually, i am my own queenie and my own weenie because honestly trying to prank you the day after and like with the worst prank and like you just clocked me in 30 seconds like

it was humiliating and it was weenie like so i what the we what the queenie giveth the weenie taketh away get you a girl who can do both yeah, a weenie did not really stand out to me this week, and I will not say that it's you. Okay. Because you are not the weenie of the week. I abstain. Okay, I want to say something that I feel like you're not taking queenie and weenie. I feel like you've abstained like twice before.

I never have. I feel like you have. And I feel like abstaining is not an option, so taking Queenie and Weenie. I feel like you've abstained like twice before. I never have. I feel like you have. And I feel like abstaining is not an option. So come up with a Weenie. If you're going to abstain, you can only abstain Queenie. New rule. Okay. What?

I don't know that I want to start stuff. With me? No. With who? Who? Who am I always starting stuff with? I don't know, the Elon haters? I don't know.

No, no. Oh, no, starting stuff like personal. Not the public. The personal. Ben? Ben. Please, go. Like, for having a five-day birthday.

See, that is a perfect weenie. See, I'm glad I pushed you. I'm glad I pushed you. Okay. Okay, I'm sorry, Ben. I love you. Happy birthday. Enjoy the olive oil.

Did I even get credit for the gift that I got for Ben? He literally texted you in the big family chat with everyone. No, I'm saying, I'm sorry, publicly. I posted it on my Instagram and Ben posted it on his Instagram. You did? You guys did? I said, oh my God, LOL, Jackie actually did it. She bought Ben the most expensive olive oil money can buy.

Oh, that's so funny. Okay, I guess I missed it. I'll send you a screenshot. Yeah, you guys, I did it. I got him olive oil because I care. It was a really good gift. And from Citarella, nonetheless. Yeah, I hope he enjoys it.

How much was it? So it was $60 at Citarella. Oh, okay. I thought we were buying like $560 at Citarella. Oh, okay. I thought we were buying like $5,000 olive oil. Oh, no, no. I got the most expensive one I could find at Citarella, but you can get it on Amazon for like $35. Oh, wow.

You got got by Citarella. A bit, but the presentation and the Citarella name, as opposed to like, if you just opened an Amazon box and there was olive oil, like that's crap. I paid the extra 25 for the presentation and the vibes. I agree. And the name recognition.

And the shopping bag that we got from it, which is really the best gift money can buy. Yeah, so I feel really good about it. I hope he makes you something super tasty. And I feel really good about what we did here today. Despite against all odds, we put on a show for you. Hopefully it was recorded. And against all odds, that's a chance i've got

it sick also my weenie of the week is youtube for demonetizing us when we're just trying did we get demonetized no when we try and listen to music like come on man of course we know waterloo waterloo yeah we knew it i always thought they were saying Xanadu. They're saying Waterloo. And if we could just listen to a snippet yesterday, we would have known that. Rats. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast on the Line AM morning show

where we deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast name. We're podcast name. We founds on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iRadiocast, all the places.

Wherever you listen to podcasts, find us at Toast on the Line AM. We're a beautiful setting and get late talented. We are. Love ya. Bye.