The Toast - Fast Five Tangents with Fibula: Thursday, September 7th, 2023
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Good morning, Millennials!
Welcome back to the Toast. Happy Thursday.
I am so excited to be joined in studio with a kind of fresh face, you know?
A youngin', a Gen Z-er. How old are you?
Twenty... Redacted.
Twenty.
Twenty-seven.
Oh, okay. You're kind of like a Gen Z-er.
Cus.
Yeah, we're like kind of young, us. Like kids.
It's Connor Wood, also known as Fibula, but I like to call him the Fibs.
Does anybody call you that? Fibs?
Yeah, everybody. Everybody does.
So much so that they don't know that I have a name.
Honestly, I did.
I knew your name was Connor.
I had no idea what your last name was.
Yeah, it's tough because people are like, who's coming?
Connor.
I didn't know your name was Connor.
It's kind of how I feel.
Girl on the job.
Claudia.
Turd.
Turd.
It's hard.
It's hard.
Well, thank you for being here.
Thanks for having me.
I'm so excited. I'm also scared. You should be. This is hard, Trudy. It's hard, yeah. It's hard. Well, thank you for being here. Thanks for having me, I'm so excited.
I'm also scared.
You should be.
Yeah.
This is like a lot of expectation.
I fully expect you, I want you to be hilarious,
smart, funny, intrepid.
Rattle it off, yeah, everybody does.
I had people texting me from past lives,
like I had won the lottery,
because they had heard about this,
and they're reaching out,
hey, no, we haven't talked, but I just wanted,
I felt like Justin Bieber when his dad reached back out
when he hit fame.
It's been a journey.
I had people coaching me this morning.
My cousin texted me like, are you fresh?
You should be up, it was 6 a.m.
I'm like, I don't, it's just a short drive.
Did you read up on the stories?
Are you into that?
Tell me your interest in pop culture levels.
I'm interested in pop culture at any level. At any level, I love any level and I did get I don't know if this is behind the scenes stuff but I
did get to check out the stories yes I wanted to give you like a fair a fighting
shot yeah yeah yeah I was scared I was like I need to I need to be a little
prepped cuz you can get torn up if you're not prepped you get torn up if
you're not prepped and you could also get torn up if you have like a bad take
on pop culture, you know?
Happens to us all the time.
Yeah.
No, I'm just kidding.
We're going to have a great time.
And I have to say, I was really shocked.
So many people were, not shocked, but you know.
No, no, no.
Keep going.
Delighted that so many people were so excited. You have your own podcast, Brooke and Connor make a podcast that people love.
And they're so excited for the crossover.
But you know, we have a very wide, vast audience.
And not everyone might be familiar with your work.
And I feel like even I, like, where did you come from?
Like, how did you get started?
I know you from TikTok.
I know you from Instagram.
I think we met through Erin and Carly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We've only met like twice.
Tell me, who is Fibs?
Who is Fibs?
And where does Fibula come from?
It's the name of a bone, correct?
It is, yeah.
It's a bone in your leg.
I just learned that you actually don't even need it.
Wow.
Which was like an interesting... It's kind of of very you it was kind of very like a therapy
topic almost like oh you don't you don't need the bone i was like there's no way you don't need a
full bone in your leg you don't you but like where in the leg it's behind your this one in your shin
when i think of fibula i of course think of the bone song from hannah montana do you mind um
walking me through the bone song then comes theibia, that ain't no fibula.
Then etching up the holes, and then um,
and now I'm up to my knee.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the patella to me.
We're doing the Bone dance.
Did you watch Hannah Montana growing up?
I did, yeah.
I had a little sister too.
I would've watched it anyways, but I had a little sister,
so yeah, I've got all the everything down
So everyone started calling fibula fibula when during college? Yeah, I changed it during college just you know, it's funny
So during college used to go to this music festival and I wanted Instagram followers I was like, I was clout hungry from birth. I so appreciate your honesty
I am Claudia the crazy beautiful life of an Instagram thirst monster I'm all about embracing the thirst
yeah you have to I mean
it's who we are
so I wanted an easy
Instagram name that I could say one word
you know at music festivals
and my friends I had the Justin Bieber haircut
and they would all run up to me
and be like can we get a picture can we get a picture
so that we could pretend that I was on
Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel and we would go to the so that we could pretend that i was on wizards of waverly place on disney channel and we would go to the front of the justin bieber was
not on wizards of waverly place yeah i i later on i was like oh how did that work ever you know
when i was younger a lot of people actually thought i was snooki and i used to get approached
on the street for pictures all the time it was the same thing yeah it was like you can kind of
convince people of anything if you run up to someone for a picture. That's like kind of one of the lessons of like adulthood.
You realize that people are so dumb.
They're so dumb.
And if you're smart, you're just kind of winning.
You are.
But I kind of wish I was a little bit more dumb.
It seems so nice and relaxing.
Blissful ignorance is a real thing.
It's so true.
Yeah.
I feel like you were smart in high school and college.
I was.
You were, right?
It was a falling off point.
Where'd you go to college?
I went to UT Austin, Texas.
Oh, fun.
Yeah.
It was amazing.
Hook them. Hook them. Hook them. Hook them. You were so close. I was a falling off point. Where'd you go to college? I went to UT Austin, Texas. Oh, fun. Yeah, it was amazing. Hook them.
Hook them, y'all.
Hook them.
You were so close.
I know.
I always did.
Hook them.
The coyotes.
I knew it.
You gave like smart energy.
Like not nerd, but like annoying smart.
Well, oh.
You forgot to moisturize today?
I forgot to put lotion on my face, yeah.
Don't worry, our cameras aren't that high quality.
Nobody's human.
No one's going to see.
I also texted right before, as I was walking upstairs,
you guys have a steamer?
Because I looked down and I was like, I didn't even.
A little disheveled.
Yeah.
Are you hungover?
No.
Isn't that the best?
It's better than drinking, which is so.
Oh my God.
It's better than drinking.
You wake up, you wake up and you look at people that went out and you go,
you guys are losers.
No, like get your life together.
Freaks.
The way I'm like, so like when I'm not hungover,
I'm like, oh my god, you're literally a slob.
And then when it's me, I can't fathom.
God complex.
Okay, I feel like we've gone on a million tangents.
So you were called Fabula in high school, college.
I'm so jealous, by the way,
that you had a nickname in college.
All I ever wanted growing up was like a cool nickname.
I tried to get people to call me like Juicebox.
It didn't take, and that's why I'm so like leaning
into my Turdiloo nickname, which was like like just born how nicknames are born. Yeah.
Yeah. Why Juicebox? Well, I. I missed that. I don't know if that's common knowledge. No,
I wanted a nickname and I thought Juicebox was cool. So I was like, from here to four,
please refer to your girl as Juicebox. And not one person did. Doesn't work like that. You can't,
you can't make your own nickname. You't manufacture a nickname like guys chains right you can't buy those they have to come to you
they have to be gifted in a gift or you find it on the street right right right and a gift from god
so when did you start content creating um on accident during covid oh i got laid off of i've
been laid off of every job i've ever you you know, laid off or forcefully removed.
Because everyone was like so threatened about your talent?
It must have been that, I guess.
No, it wasn't that.
It was because I was bad at my jobs.
What was the job?
I worked at Bumble for a while.
No way!
Right outside of college, yeah.
That was awesome.
And then after that, I went to Bird, the scooter company on the marketing team.
I love Bird.
I wish I had it in the city like when
i'm in europe i'm you're gonna catch me zoom in you know how many people would be dead this morning
on birds i know it is so fun that you forget that you're moving at like 30 miles an hour
and actually i was hit by a vehicle in portugal while on a a bird and thankfully i'm okay
but i do understand the risk i got hit by a bird so hard somebody on
the bird hit you no you were on i was on the bird i got hit by a toyota corolla yeah oh my god which
is like no that's like the car you want to get hit by no because like if i'm thinking insurance
i want to get hit by a bentley i wasn't because it was my fault oh you're right you're right okay
then it's definitely um well i want to get hit by a G-Wagon.
Yeah, of course.
And I'll just smush against the, oh, Bentley would be better.
Yeah.
Or honestly, like I feel like really wealthy people actually travel around in like big
Cadillac Escalades, a Lincoln Navigator, a Chevrolet Suburban.
Something more subtle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Quiet luxury.
Quiet luxury.
Okay.
We're going on a thousand tangents.
Hit that bird.
Sorry.
So you got laid off.
I got, well, I want to say really quick on the bird thing. I have to show you my bruise when we get offline i don't know if you
want to put this in the visual oh no from getting hit by the car i got hit by this car i was in the
air for so long that i actually had time to be like oh i'm still in the air wow this is incredible
i brought it up during my interview at bird once they didn't like respond right away and so i was
like oh they probably didn't hear it second time then i figured out like they don't like respond right away and so i was like oh they probably didn't hear it second
time then i figured out like they don't want to hear that of course not they probably thought you
were like a mole about to serve them with papers and i was like leveraging my lawsuit against them
so they would like hire me threat yeah no i'm just was thought it was funny just sharing thought
it was fun classic like people are like i'm so sorry that happened even like no no it was funny classic fibs classic fibs so yeah people started started calling oh no fibs because of uh the instagram
and then during covid started posting on tiktok and i didn't have that like i wasn't like the
emily mariko i'm not the mayonnaise guy you know like you don't have a thing it was just like very
slow growth and they kind of got bigger and bigger and then I started talking to the camera.
And then I was like, oh, I can do this full time.
So how long were you content creating
before you fully quit your job?
I was fired.
I was totally unemployed.
I was actually, I applied to 57 jobs.
Wow.
Weirdly couldn't get one.
Shocking.
I thought you were smart.
Weirdly because of that gnarly digital footprint
that was sweeping the globe,
I couldn't get any responses.
So I was like, okay, this is fine.
Then I finally was like, I guess I can lean into this
until it goes away.
Right.
And it hasn't yet.
Do you have any wood in the studio?
Yeah, always, I love to knock on wood.
Yeah, oh nice.
That's fabulous.
And so now you're full-time
content creating you have your own podcast podcast yeah are you here for fashion week
on accident tell oh so you you're not you didn't fly in for fashion week events you just what are
you in town for um i came in we went to the hansons last weekend oh fun i sent you pictures i i met i
ran into joey camasto yes he's the best he is the best he's really one of a kind character he is and it was like
there was no learning curve with him it was like i walked and he's like hey i love you i was like
i don't know do you think i'm someone else but he's exactly the same person in real life that
he is on social media and his podcast which is so refreshing it's it was awesome like i had such a
great time i ended up like i was like oh all my friends left i'll just hang with joey yeah well i was i was talking to him for so long i just like got distracted um and it was it was
awesome but the hamptons were great um i i left i have this goal i have a birthday coming up
and i have this goal i wrote it down a list of attainable goals this year okay i love that
um i hope you're very close was one of them. I mean, this would have been an unattainable goal to me.
I'm being serious.
You're fibbing.
No, I'm being dead ass.
And so I made attainable goals this year.
One is to watch The Sopranos.
Oh, that's a good one.
I haven't watched it.
I haven't either.
And I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of conversation.
But let me tell you how TikTok ruins everything
because I've literally seen the very last scene
of The Sopranos, which is apparently like like this huge like it's like a scorsese moment
you're supposed to like extrapolate what it yeah yeah i literally like saw it and watch somebody
like give their whole take on it so like i know what happens why'd you you just because i was
like i'm never gonna watch the sopranos it sucks because every time we give a spoiler alert on like
a show that came out like 15 17 years ago we get we get a text saying, I was gonna watch that tonight.
Okay.
No, you weren't.
That happens to us all the time.
Like I'm watching Suits right now,
which is from 2016.
You and every single person.
I know.
I need to watch Suits too.
By the way, you do.
It's literally the best show.
Attainable goal.
Attainable goal.
Yeah.
And what is like the social etiquette rules
on speaking about a show that's 10 years old?
You had your chance.
You had your chance.
It's like, okay, when we recap like The Bachelor or things that are currently on Love Island, at a show that's 10 years old? You had your chance. You had your chance.
Okay, when we recap The Bachelor
or things that are currently on Love Island,
okay, I understand.
I'm not gonna give a spoiler.
And I'll do a big spoiler alert.
I'll say skip the next couple of minutes of the podcast.
But if I'm literally re-watching something,
like what was I watching?
People were like, I can't believe, like Young Sheldon.
No, no.
You're kidding me.
The show premiered six years ago.
There's a statute of limitations where you can talk about a show also if you can skip like you have the option to not
watch the end of the Sopranos right same thing here so true it's tough so your goals you were
saying my goals so one of them you know is watch that Sopranos and then one of them is to start
putting away my clothes if I'm in a location for more than one day. Hang them up, put them in the
dresser. So when you change and stuff, you're not, you don't end up having an inevitable pile of
clothes on your suitcase. I did it this weekend in the Hamptons. I did it. I did it. And I was,
like, I just, it changed. It was like not drinking and waking up, not hungover. I was like, oh,
I'm God. You didn't know how you ever traveled? No, I was like, I live in this home momentarily,
at least in this time. And then I left the Hamptons and I was like, I'm packed in my
suitcases. Fresh. It's fresh because I didn't unpack the whole dresser. I was like, I forgot
to. So I left half of my clothes that were in the dresser. So sometimes your goals can bite you back
in the ass. Bite your ass. I was actually going to ask if you left anything. That's true. Something,
sometimes like spreading all your clothes out in a facility,
whether it's a hotel or an Airbnb, it's nice,
but it's not feasible for packing that shit back up.
It's not, and I was thinking, I would gas it myself.
I'm like, maybe I just packed better on the way out,
which is never the case.
No, of course not.
So you had so much extra space.
It's so much.
Yeah, I was like, oh, this is zipping.
Usually I have to kind of wrestle my suitcase like a Steve Irwin style gator.
Of course.
Wrestle this gator down.
Rest in peace.
May he rest.
May he rest.
Anyways, I feel like we did it again.
We did it again.
We're kind of like tangent girlies, me and you.
Oh, my God.
I do this. So you are content creating.
I do this on every podcast.
No, it's good.
It's good.
It's fun.
It's fresh.
It's a way to keep the conversation flowing.
Facts.
So you're in New York.
That's what you were saying.
Yes.
You met Joey. I'm getting it. And you just happen to be here during fashion week will you be attending any fashion week events yes okay so excited i came and i was like i'm here
for the week i have no plans i'm gonna make some damn tiktoks of course i'm gonna i'm gonna do this
all of a sudden every single moment of every day has filled up i'm late to everything okay that's
like annoying i don't have any clothes because they're in the Hamptons.
I'm having to run to Soho every 10 minutes.
You gotta go to Zara Men's has good stuff.
I'm sprinting back and forth to Uniqlo.
Uniqlo.
You're so Uniqlo.
It's a good store.
And there's no label.
There's no brand on anything.
I know.
I like that.
But you know, I've actually, I've never purchased anything at Uniqlo.
Except maybe one time I bought like some ski pants or something.
It has everything.
They have everything.
It's huge. And would you say Uniqlo except maybe one time I bought like some ski pants or something it has they have everything it's huge and would you say Uniqlo is your favorite store I'm having a I'm having a bit
of a Uniqlo moment in time yeah love that it's nice I like it it's like thermals right quiet
luxury it's really cheap I love that for you yeah it's great well you look great thank you
very podcast appropriate attire thank you it's all I had left, so I just worked out.
And would you say that the wrinkles on your shirt are from the poor packing or the unpacking in the hotel room?
The wrinkles are just like a conglomerate of everything that's happened to me.
I don't know how people don't have wrinkle in their clothes, honestly.
I know.
Like, I'm going to show up wrinkly.
And I still, I have like a handheld steamer at home that I love.
And I steam everything like when I go to an event. And between getting in and out of the Uber, just like being me, I will show up wrinkly and I still I have like a handheld steamer at home that I love and I steam Everything like when I go to an event and between getting at in and out of the uber just like being me
I will show up wrinkly like how do people not?
turd wrinkleton the third
The third thank you for kind of elaborating on my nickname. You don't know how much it means
And like my inner child, of course, i'm so happy to do it
I meant to say my nickname in college was not fibs. That was more my name my nickname was cooter for some reason which was tough that was a tough
pill to swallow but it comes god gives you your nickname all good nicknames come from some
embarrassing like bad story like skid marks you know something like that
speaking of skid marks speaking of skid marks we actually do have a story today about skid marks
that i will do my best
To like not vomit through
I didn't talk about it yesterday
Because like I honestly
Didn't want to talk about it
But today there was like
Limited stories
And we are going to be talking about
The Delta
Duty gate
Okay
And we are going to be talking about
On another note
The US Open
You and I both went last night
Yeah yeah
Did you have a good time?
Should we talk about it
When we get there?
We should
Because the weather is a factor
That tangent could go That tangent could go On and on Well let me ask you a question You're here during the most Yeah, yeah. Did you have a good time? Should we talk about it when we get there? We should because the weather is a factor.
That tangent could go on and on. That tangent could go.
Well, let me ask you a question.
You're here during the most demonic, satanic heat wave.
And people on my Instagram, I was posting today,
they're like, it is technically like 87 degrees,
which, yes, I know in Phoenix it's 105.
And they're like, well, if you can't handle that,
don't move to Phoenix.
I wasn't.
I wasn't going to move to Phoenix.
But tell me it doesn't feel like 110 degrees.
Like, there's no way it's 85.
Why are we constantly in a battle
about who's experiencing the worst things?
It's not a competition.
It's not, it sucks here so bad.
I am sweating right now.
And by the way, the air conditioning is on in here.
And I closed the blinds today
because once the sun pours in, like we're done.
I was staying at the Marlton Hotel and I said.
Did they pay you to say that? No, I saying at the marlton hotel and i say that no okay i'm
trying to get them to pay me to say that i saw your tiktok about the water pressure it's it's
going bonkers kind of water pressure is like a really big deal in hotels in life but especially
in hotels well i think what we can cut this i think the shower is broken but but i like cutting
it we're not no i'm kidding they reposted on but, but I like it. We're not cutting it. We're not.
No,
I'm kidding.
They reposted it on their story.
So you think it's not meant to be that?
No.
And I'll tell you why,
because I had a room the night before where I was out all day.
I said,
I need to get it in this AC and these crisp hotel sheets,
nothing better.
And I,
I get up there and it's,
I go,
it's the same temperatures outside in here.
I call, I'm like, please, this's the same temperatures outside in here. I call.
I'm like, please, this can't be my life.
This can't be my reality.
And they're like, we'll come up and check.
They come up and check.
No, it's just hot.
It's hot outside, and that's how hot it is in this room.
I go, I can't do it.
I can't.
You've got to help me, please.
You have to help me.
They moved me to a different room, which was nice.
And the shower was different, yeah.
Interesting.
I preferred it.
It was nice. It would have killed have killed like an old person yeah well i'm a young person and it's about to yeah hit me hard so fibs are you ready for like your big first moment on the toast with the
fast five stories i'm so ready i'm excited here are the past five stories that you need to know
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story is of course another development in this Joe Jonas-Sophie Turner drama.
Now two things came out yesterday that I found very interesting. The first was
this news that Joe Jonas allegedly caught Sophie Turner in a compromising
ring camera footage before filing for divorce. So they're citing this as like
the last straw for Joe. They didn't say what it was. It could be that she said something, that she did something. She was with someone. We are now left to the
imagination. Of course, everyone's thinking, you know, who is she coming home with? Like,
they really left a lot to the imagination. And I'm curious, what would it take? First of all,
what do you think was on the ring camera footage? Nothing. Really? Yeah. Who's calling it
compromising? Who's it? Who's at will to call it compromising?
Did they pick that word?
Well, Page Six did pick that word.
But, you know, TMZ, everyone is using their own sort of vernacular.
I don't know.
It sounds like a smear campaign to me.
So what's so funny is that, like, this entire narrative is clearly coming from Joe's camp.
It's been like, she's been out partying.
He's with the kids.
It's all making him look so complimentary.
And I think it's actually having the adverse effect on people.
Nobody's being like, oh, Joe, what a doting dad. It's like, this is a little too convenient. It's
a little too good. And then the second update that I was going to share, which I found very odd,
was that he was paparazzi yesterday sitting outside at a restaurant with the two daughters
taking them to lunch. The daughter's faces were were blurred which makes me think like the paparazzi um set up like was set up by his camp like it's not the law because
they wouldn't know in this country to blur out right in europe it is and a lot of the times
actually not even sometimes i didn't know that it's not the law so the faces were blurred out
we have i've never seen a paparazzi picture of their kids before like this was the first time
it was just like a little too convenient for me yeah and now I think I'm having the reaction that
everyone's having it's like well everything so far has that's been come out it's like extremely
complimentary to Joe it's a little too convenient all of this I agree I agree and it's it's coming
out like all at once too and it's funny because the at face value the the headlines are like very pro joe
anti sophie sophie's very quiet and all this which usually you know the quiet one is usually i have
nothing to hide like come out and and you see the smear campaign come out from the other side
it sucks just so nice i know the thing is they're both fabulous people and this is hard for the joe
and sophie stands because you don't know whose side to take.
Yeah.
But if I had to take a side, just based on the information I've been given, I'm going
to be leaning Sophie.
Oh, fully.
Because she's given us nothing.
And like, I always feel it's tough when two people get divorced and they have kids.
It's very limited in what you're going to say about the father or the mother of your
children.
But it seems like they're not, you know, holding back on team Joe. No. And it's,
it's crazy because the headlines are brutally, brutally also pro Joe, but online everyone's
like seeing right through it. I know he's somewhere throwing up right now. I'm actually
shocked at like the media literacy of people on the internet because some people on the internet
can be so dense and like the internet leaves no room for like nuanced conversation. So for people
to be seeing through this and being like, what really going on here i find it shocking it's
crazy it's crazy really sad i bet something's coming out as we speak um i know it is it is sad
and it's also when i was searching for stories today every single headline was a new update and
like development and there's nothing else going on in the world besides these two because it's so
first of all shocking yeah i don't think anybody thought these two were headed for divorce anytime soon no no but the amount of
stuff coming out is just like bizarre for two really private people yeah it's also it's weird
coming off of this like insane comeback of the Jonas Brothers as a whole it's like that's all
been like we are every everything everywhere all at once this whole thing it's all super positive
we're meeting everybody family back together no one has a negative thing to say and then that's just like coming off the heels of that it's true it's
almost like you rise too fast and then something has to happen no you know what john really even
though they're already so famous likability is a prison oh it was chilling when he said that yeah
and he was right because like he like you know got canceled basically just for getting divorced
which is not a crime but like in this case it was. Yeah. Likability is a prison. You're right.
The Jonas Brothers,
aside from their,
you know,
initial breakup,
have been kind of
gotten off scot-free
when it comes to scandal
and PR.
Yeah.
They're having a moment.
I'm kind of loving
this bad boy era.
I'm not going to lie.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
I think that we're going to
like see the end of it
or like get whatever information.
This feels like when
the government was like,
we have the UFO footage
and we're like,
show it to us then.
Nah.
Show us the footage. Yeah. If you if you have it also i think it's just
a great um strategy for hyping up their tour because now every time they they're still currently
on tour they went on stage last night now every time they go on stage moments are being filmed
and made into tiktoks that are going viral you know last night they started off the show with
a group hug and it made news like who cares yeah um so it is in a way a strategy i guess all press is good press it sucks that it's
on sophie's back i sometimes i'm like i'm i feel icky that we're like this is like a family's
yeah divorce that's how i felt about um and i didn't even choose it as a story today with
courtney kardashian and travis bark, he canceled all those shows in Europe and flew home
because she was having pregnancy complications.
She posted on Instagram yesterday just kind of clarifying what it was.
She had fetal surgery, which is really serious.
But I think people were like dying to know what was going on with Kourtney.
It's like, can this pregnant woman have some privacy?
I know.
That's like such the nuancing.
It's like you chose this thing.
This is part of your job.
I know.
I don't subscribe to that notion that celebrities who who chose this life especially a celebrity like the Kardashians
who really did yeah it's not like they were discovered as an actress like they chose this
life yeah um I don't subscribe to that like social construct where they're in like we're
entitled to every piece of information that's going on in their lives like I just don't subscribe
to that yeah I don't like that at all it's gross yeah even when I see someone in public doing something, which this is already out, so I'm just going
to say it.
Say it.
But I like walk.
I was walking through Washington Square Park the other day trying to get, yeah, trying
to get Davis Burleson to probably jump my bones.
I was like, I want to get on What's Poppin', but I want to like run into him.
Yeah.
You don't want it to be staged.
You just have to hang out, sleep in the park.
I can't.
I know.
It's too damn hot.
No, and the park is packed.
Oh, yeah.
So it's too damn hot for me to be briefly outside.
It's not too damn hot for Mattie Healy to be wearing black, huge cargo pants and combat
boots.
And making out.
Making, just when I saw him, he was just dangling on this girl.
I don't know how people are being physical
with their loved ones in this weather.
At the US Open yesterday,
Ben's like shoulder was touching me
and his legs, he was like manspreading.
I was like, if you don't get your hot body off of me,
because Ben is just a furnace at all times.
And during the winter, I love it.
Like I'm never cold.
My feet like are always like touching his shins.
He's so warm.
I said, if you don't get the fuck away from me,
like we're going to have a problem.
The seats are this big.
The seats are tiny
Ben is a broad guy
Yeah
I was not having it
It was actually
Demonic
Outside last night
I don't know how people
Are just making out in the park
I also don't know how people
Make out in the subway
Maybe they're from Arizona
Maybe they're
Maybe this is a walk in the park
Literally for them
Maybe
I can't deal with it
I also don't
I don't know how people
Like swap spit on the subway I think that's really disgusting Whenever I see like That couple making I also don't I don't know how people Like swap spit on the subway
I think that's really disgusting
Whenever I see like
That couple making out
On the subway
I'm like
Have you ever heard of germs?
Yeah
They're just germs in the air
Wait so
You're from New York
You can touch
You just touch everything here
You just carry
Like Germ-X
Yes
I'm not one of those people
Who like has
You know that
Device
They like sell it
All over TikTok
Eligible for commission
You like put it around your finger And it's like a stick and you can like push elevator buttons oh yeah you
get gas with it no i touch stuff like i have to live yeah and i get home and i wash my hands and
i never get in my bed with in my outside clothes facts i bite my nails which sucks that's tough in
new york oh yeah i have to stop you you do this is like a good lesson in that
because I'm also very aware of when I touch stuff I can't get in bed with outside hands no definitely
not I'll get in bed and be like when's the last time I washed my hands have to get out yeah but
is that like a thing you've always done because for me when we all became super conscious of
washing our hands during COVID I of course started following the rules yeah and that really stuck for
me because I used to like get home during COVID and wash my hands and everything and then get in bed and i was thinking before covid like i didn't
used to do that yeah that was a nice little refresher for a lot of people i think we were
all like singing happy birthday while washing our hands twice yeah i was actually singing toast by
claudia ashley because it's the same length should you want to refresh every i i mean no i don't need
to i feel like everybody knows it was the song of the summer it was the summer of course um and then of course my follow-up hit 100 percent
100 in 2021 i just feel like the music kind of speaks for itself yeah 100 do you sing no i feel
like you're just one of those people who's multi-talented no i'm not what are your talents
like what's your party trick for me it's good karaoke um you do impressions like what do you do
i don't do i don't have any party tricks i don't think really i think you're always partying i am out and about i get really bad fomo which i can need to i think that i need that needs to be
in my attainable goals let's just like fix that by the way that's so real which i think that's
just therapy would do that to do the trick i i do think also it's just growing up like yeah we're
in that stage now we're like approaching 30s me a little bit more than you um and i do think that's definitely
like something you phase out of in your 20s where like you don't care to miss i'm actually stoked
to be in my bed yeah yeah right it's the best i'm doing it this week because i don't know how
people are doing it i know they go they're at things all day events and they literally change
in the car they're changing their clothes.
That's enough to do me in.
I completely agree.
Changing in a car.
Trying things on also.
I have PTSD being in Old Navy with my mom.
She's like, lift up your shirt and turn around.
I'm like, I fucking can't.
I'm going to pass out here and I'm going to throw a fit.
I agree.
Trying on clothes is the seventh circle of hell.
I got one pair of pants in me to try on and then I have to.
If they don't fit, I'm out.. No I actually will not try things on anymore like if I go to a store that's reasonably priced like I'm not talking about expensive clothes I'm talking about
like everyday clothing whether it's you know like a Zara I don't try on I buy things that like most
likely will fit if they do great if they don't I'll still make it work like it's just it's not
my problem literally the skirt that I'm wearing I bought from Zara I did not try it work. Like, it's just, it's not my problem. Literally, the skirt that I'm wearing, I bought from Zara.
I did not try it on.
It is big on me, and I've worn it twice.
Like, that's, like, I don't care.
There's a hack.
I saw it on TikTok for trying pants on.
I just remembered.
I don't know if it works for skirts.
You grab the two farthest waist ringlets.
Yeah, like the ends.
Yeah, and you bring it around your neck,
and if they kiss, they are the right size, and it worked 100% of the ends. Ringlets. Yeah. And you bring it around your neck. And if they kiss, they are the right size.
And it worked 100% of the time.
Everyone was stitching it and it was working for everybody.
Okay.
I love a good TikTok hack.
But explain the science to me.
I don't.
I'm not.
I've never claimed it.
What does your neck have to do with your hips?
And what if you're, you know, an apple-figured girl?
I think like girth.
Pear-figured, not.
Here.
Is relative.
Is somehow equivalent or relative
yeah I guess I don't know about try that I think we should all try it I saw it
like 15 I confirmed it before cuz we talked about on our podcast you had I
was like I don't want to spew misinformation I have not tried it no I
guess that would be that would be the kicker yeah is it for men and women
that's a great, I love.
So you spoke about your podcast, but you literally did no research.
No, that's kind of our whole thing is like speaking on things we know.
That's our biggest comment.
Review.
When people leave podcast reviews, they're like, do your research.
No, what do you think this is, the encyclopedia podcast?
They make up facts.
I'm like, we got to move on.
If we say something and we just go with it, we don't time to google that's so me i mean it's it's the
way to go and people get bored when you get when you have a hang up this is not a thesis no and
people also get bored because we used to get a lot of flack they're like do your research do you know
anything so then we'd be actively like researching things on the podcast jackie has her ipad i have
my ipad so we'd be like how old is j is Jennifer Lawrence? Nobody wants to hear someone typing and like,
oh wait, this website says she's 37,
but this one says she's 35.
Like, that's boring.
Do you panic when you're like actually in the typing?
I do, I type everything wrong.
We have, we luckily have like a TV
and we have one of our producers like types it in for us.
Listen, sound off in the comments.
Would you prefer your podcasters know nothing
or spend like minutes researching?
Yeah, it's kind of fun to know nothing.
You know what? It's like life is a mystery.
We talked about this already, too. Being dumb is nice. Being dumb is nice. It's relaxing.
Are you ready for our next story? That was a nice tangent from the Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner news.
Taylor Momsen of Gossip Girl fame says she was made fun of relentlessly as a kid for her
alienating role in the Grinch movie. Now, of course, when we think Taylor Momsen, we think Jenny Humphrey.
But real ones will know.
Where are you Christmas?
Why can't I find you?
You have a nice voice.
I can hit really low and really quiet.
Oh, interesting.
Because I'm shy.
More of a harmony.
Yeah.
I don't have.
You have like a phenomenal.
I have range. Like American Idol discovery voice.
So when I was in college,
I every semester took a two extra,
an extra class that was two credits.
So by the time I graduated, I only had to take a few classes
and every semester it was a singing class.
It was only two credits.
It was like an hour a week and it was the time of my life.
And I went into my first one and I was like,
I'm gonna try out for x-factor
by the end of this year so like let's get me attainable goal let's get me
riled up and unfortunately the teachers were all like music grad students who
like this was the bane of their existence and they couldn't have cared
less and it was just a curriculum that they had to follow and it was like
classical music it was classical singing and I have to learn all these like dumb
hymns hymn hymn hymn and I was woe all these like dumb hymns. Hymns? —Hymnabits? —Hymns.
And I was woefully unprepared by the end of the semester.
I really was planning on trying out for X Factor and she was like, all right, let me
know how it goes.
Our last class is next week.
And it was supposed to be that week.
And I was dating my husband at the time and he had a car.
I was like, you're gonna drive me and we're gonna go.
And when the day came, he like couldn't drive me.
He like was busy or whatever.
And I was honestly like not even in the mood to try out
And so like the next week
For the final class
I had to like lie and be like
It went really well
We'll see how it goes
I'm not sure
It was just like round one
And then I never saw her again
Wow
That could have been
Like your life could have taken off
In a completely different direction
We'll never know
I know
I'm glad it didn't
Kind of
Well a goal is to be on
The Masked Singer
I did
One time I was reaching out
They asked me to put in An audition tape, but I guess it wasn't good enough because
I never got cast.
Did you?
You sang for them?
Duh.
I forget what I sang, but I was amazing.
You singing the national anthem.
I can't believe you're not going to do that.
I know.
I know.
And like, honestly, I know I'm a good singer.
Like, not to be annoying.
Like, I know I have talent.
I could do comedy in front of thousands
and not feel even remotely nervous I do not think I could sing in front of people like I really
it's honestly very personal to me like I love singing I've been singing since I was a kid like
if anybody were to say that was bad I couldn't take it like really you don't like my comedy sure
that's fine comedy is very personal you know you don't think I'm funny whatever if you don't like
my singing like I'll cry I could have someone tell me, like, they hate me to death
and that they want to kill my family.
But if they tell me one of my videos is not funny,
it ruins my whole week.
Really?
But see, comedy is so personal.
Personal, yeah.
Like, depending on the person's, you know, trauma.
Right, right, right, right.
Depending on the person's life experience.
So if somebody doesn't like my comedy, yeah, it hurts
because I work really hard at it.
But I can understand because there are people
who I literally don't think are funny who are so famous.
Like I literally, I'm not gonna say who,
I just saw someone open for Dave Chappelle
and it was literally the least funny thing ever.
I'm like literally how are you here?
People were like dying.
I'm like this is literally not funny.
Comedy is personal.
So I really don't take it, I don't take it personally.
But my singing, like I couldn't survive that.
There have been lesser that have come before you
and sang the national anthem.
It's true, Fergie.
Yeah.
It's true.
Yeah, that is all time favorite video.
But back to this Taylor Momsen story.
So she went on, everyone's talking about it,
the podcast Podcrush, which is hosted by Penn Badgley,
who played her older brother in Gossip Girl.
So it's all very synergy.
And they spoke a little bit about Gossip Girl,
but they actually spoke more about the Grinch
and how it really kind of ruined her life.
So she said, first of all,
the Grinch changed my life in a multitude of ways,
one of them being that I was made fun of relentlessly.
She explained that making friends was always challenging.
Every time I would start a new school or go somewhere else,
I don't even think the kids knew my name.
I was just Grinch Girl.
Not even the character's name, just Grinch Girl. I got
used to it, but it was alienating. This is devastating to hear. I think The Grinch
is the best Christmas movie of all time, and she's so precious in the film with
her little nose and her braids. This is devastating to know she probably like
regrets doing it.
It's so sad as you're a child.
A child. Being a child actor, I'm always, you know Josh Peck?
Yes. I'm always talking to Josh Peck yes I'm always
talking to him about it because I feel like it's so and I think he's one of the few who've come out
on the other end like extremely healthy and balanced and like been through therapy and he
obviously went through a dark time but like he came out on the other end I have so many questions
for him all the time I wasn't expecting you to have this take about this at all about what about
this like this kind of respect everyone's battles but it kind of feels
like is this just in the news today was it like a really yeah she was on the podcast literally two
days ago who's podcast pen badgley pen badgley has a podcast pod crushed it's okay called pod
crush i'm sorry i even heard that and i it didn't even yeah i know he's always posting about it on
tiktok so i am familiar with the podcast and he had teased that that Jenny Humphrey, his fictional little sister, was going to be on
the show.
And everyone was like, you know.
And this is the headline that came out of it, which I'm shocked by, because I thought
it would be something Gossip Girl related.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
It felt like a reach of like, this is my battle that I'm fighting.
But now I, okay.
No, she said that alienating feeling really carried through, because then she got cast
on Gossip Girl when she was 12, which is so young.
I didn't even realize that at the time. And all the other, her castmates were much older than her.
So she wasn't like hanging out with them and like being friends. She was much younger
and she was alone a lot. And she ended up leaving the show after four years. So it was kind of like
that initial alienation feeling that she got from the Grinch that kind of carried her through her
whole experience. I know. That sucks. sucks You wouldn't You wouldn't see a child
Working at Burger King
No
So why are they on set
For 12 hours a day
I know
I used to
When I was like growing up
I grew up in like
The Hannah Montana
Drake and Josh
Yeah
It was my dream
Like all I wanted
Was to have my own
Wizards of Waverly Place
Something like that
And now as an adult
Like beyond grateful
That that wasn't me
Not that it was ever
Even an option
Did you
Did you ever hear
Those commercials on Of course Listen on the radio Does your child watch hand montana do you want to
be on a show with like the sweet life of zach and cody well we have open auditions casting uh i went
to one you did yeah i wanted i wanted to be on zach and cody how old were you uh i had to be
12 okay that's old enough yeah um and i you do it i had to do a monologue. Yeah and I was
I was probably younger because I was my piano teacher and my mom made me take
piano. I did piano. I did guitar as well. I wish I would have stuck with it. All the things I was
pissed at my mom about. Of course. That is literally like the bane of growing up. Imagine if I could
just like I still can't play
guitar i cannot play piano i'm like i don't want to go to tennis every day i would have killed to
be good at tennis i would have i know stick with it stick with the kids yeah the message to the
the eight-year-old listeners just stick with it go to piano today yeah um you were saying
so i went to the audition i went to the audition It was in Brownsville, Texas, which is.
Are you from Texas?
Yes.
Yeah.
Like almost next to Mexico.
Like very small town.
Yeah.
Very, very small.
Very far south.
And it was at a mall.
Oh, no.
It was at a hotel and at like a banquet room.
Totally empty.
We went and did our auditions and they gave you like a little card and a deck if you made the next one they say you have been you have been chosen why you made the next round i made the
next round and you know what the next round was singing move forward with giving us three thousand
dollars so that we can take you to the actual audition in front of oh it's an mlm uh or like
sex trafficking honestly i don't know that's crazy so you obviously did not it was dark well
yeah my parents were like no obviously not that's crazy you can go back to tennis and hopefully get
a college scholarship right you know did you yeah i had to you had a tennis college oh no no i didn't
get it i had to go back to tennis practice the next day right right right um wait that's a crazy
story yeah no i i'm wondering how many people if anybody made it from those things. No, who, if speak, sound off in the comments,
did you ever pay the $3,000 and what happened next?
I think it was like, maybe even more than $3,000.
It's like a big chunk and it makes me like, pretty sad.
Sad. It wasn't even a guaranteed thing
for the next round. No, it's taking advantage
of people and kids. Yeah.
Well, my only similar story to that
is when I was in the eighth grade, I did,
I entered into this, it wasn't like an essay competition.
It was like this history competition.
You could either write an essay,
you could do a performance.
A history competition?
Yeah, yeah.
I don't really even remember what the prize was,
but I decided to do a performance
of the great, a one-woman show,
of the great Hannah Senesch.
I don't know if anybody knows her.
She was a paratrooper in World War II,
one of the very few females.
Jewish queen. Yeah. And I did like a kind of really stunning um one woman show and I did end
up placing I believe I got first place and it's important to know way yeah in the state but it's
important to know that there were only three kids who went for their performance route um tons of
kids did like an essay or an oral presentation but I just of course
had to be like dramatic and yeah and I'm like on the floor and I remember like my dad was really
late to driving me and I got there so late and I got there like late out of breath it was also like
in this like conference center decrepit abandoned building yeah and I just like I just I just killed
it honestly yeah and it was really beautiful I was in the eighth grade, so how old were you in the eighth grade?
13, 14, yeah. 13, 14, yeah.
I was old enough to know better, you know?
Know better, oh.
I got like a plaque,
like it was,
I mean it was humiliating,
I don't know what I was doing.
I'm caught up on the history competition.
I don't remember like what the competition was.
You know there's like essay writing competitions, there was like a historical something, presentation, I don't remember what the competition was. You know how there's essay writing competitions?
There was a historical something, presentation,
I don't know.
Obviously my A3 teacher, Mrs. Caston,
she saw something in me and she helped me,
obviously, put together the performance.
And she was right, because I won.
That's huge.
Almost by default.
That sticks with you,
because you're still on fire about it.
I'm so proud.
Yeah, I would like to get to the bottom
of the history competition piece. I'm gonna have to look further into my documentation and find out what exactly it was
they always i remembered like every year there was something with like that's usually like if
you consent we're gonna send your essay off to do whatever it was something like that okay okay
i can't recall exactly what it was all right well taylor momson thanks for sharing your trauma on a
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for sponsoring today's episode. Our next story, I'm sure everybody has seen those photos of
Kanye West in a very compromising position with his girlfriend slash wife in Venice.
The Venetian water taxi company that he had used has now banned him for NSFW behavior.
So the boat company has banned Kanye West and his partner Bianca Sensori after images
surfaced last week of the two in a compromising position in the back of a water taxi.
In a statement to The Independent, a spokesperson for Venezia Turismo Motoscafi, the water taxi
company based in the Italian city, said that West and Sensori, quote, will certainly no
longer be welcome aboard our company's boats.
We completely disassociate ourselves from such acts and behaviors.
Kanye and his girlie were photographed last week in what appeared to be a sex act on the
back of the boat, with Sensori kneeling in front of West and West's naked tushy in some of the photos.
We got tushy.
We got tush.
It was crazy.
I didn't, never in my life did I think I would see Kanye West's butt cheek.
No, it was.
I think it was just one butt cheek too.
It was.
It was.
Honestly, when I first saw the photos, I didn't even assume that it was a blow job because
it was such a
bizarre, she was just kind of like appeared to be sitting in front of him. And I thought maybe his
pants were just like low. That's the style sometimes. Fashion. I didn't honestly, my first
thought wasn't erotic. No, I didn't know until just now that people thought it was a blow job.
Oh, it was though. Like confirmed. Really? Yeah. Why? No, that's not okay. No, it's literally not okay in public when you're a public figure.
None of it is okay.
And I stand with Venazia Taxi Company.
I stand with Venazia.
I just want to make sure to write the name of the...
I stand, first and foremost,
with Venazia Turismo Mochiscafi.
We stand with you.
We do.
That's not cool.
No.
It's not a good look.
I can't get over the first picture I saw of Kanye West's butt crack.
I know.
And it wasn't even like a little bit of butt crack.
His pants are off.
It was cheek.
That's pretty.
It's Kanye West.
It's bold to do that.
Take your pants off.
He put it out there.
So now we have no choice but to like talk about it.
Yeah.
What did you think of the tush?
I thought it was pretty nice.
It was a fat ass yeah
like it was you know when i was in high school me and all my friends used to call somebody who had
like a big juicy ass we used to call it an unexpected because it's just like unexpected
that you'd be walking around high school with a big juicy ass you know he had his big old ass out
on the venezia morimisimo yeah he had an unexpected like oh unexpected i love that yeah it was because
it was it was unexpected um can i see the picture it in an article of course I'd love to just get my eyes
on the visual I'm assuming that they're putting the photo no not them not
putting the photos I'll get the photo for you it's really oh not my iPad being
on full volume like a grandmother Kanye West by the way when you go to search
his name it's quite literally the first thing oh here you go cool I love ass he
loves that legacy
That's crazy
That's humiliating
That's really not okay
That's not okay behavior
Mamma mia
Mamma mia
Is what I'm sure
Venezia was thinking
That's what the Italians
Are saying
My people were saying
Ze lo cavod
Ze lo cavod
It's not respectful
It's not nice
It's hard for me
To form thoughts
About this genuinely
Like this is the one story
That you guys sent over
And I was like oh
I'll
I don't even need to study up
You don't have a hot take here
I don't
Let me think
I love a hot take so
Okay I can make one
Okay
You know when you're on a boat
And you're like
This is international waters
100%
Like anything could happen.
It's true.
Like, you kind of get swept away in the beauty and just, like, the timelessness.
No.
Yeah.
I have a coat on.
No one's going to see my big, juicy ass.
Right.
But how do you think being a public figure factors into that line of thinking?
It's, it's, it's, I would say careless, but it's not careless.
It feels intentional.
It feels intentional.
But what is the intention?
I'm so confused.
What is the intention?
I don't know.
I also always forget that he's with this girl.
Cause he had like a string of girlfriends and now him and this girl got like fake legally
married.
So I totally forgot that he even had a girl with him.
Fake legally married.
Like, like they call each other husband and wife, but it's like not legal.
They're not married.
But they had like a ceremony.
Every picture I see of her feels like she's lost.
Like she's like, how did I, you know, how am I here?
What do you think her friends and family like think of her?
Because she kind of rose to stardom almost overnight, very, you know, a la Julia Fox.
I don't know.
I don't know either.
I bet she has not chatted with them.
In a while.
Yeah, because I feel like if she had any close friends or family, they'd be reaching out saying,
What's going on?
Let's get you out of here.
She's kind of in her untethered era.
Yeah.
And no one really talks about her that much.
No.
Every time she's with him.
But anytime she's...
I don't know anything about this woman.
No, I know.
I feel like Julia Fox really got the best opportunity as Kanye's girlfriend.
There was a lot of intrigue.
And then long after they broke up,
she's still kind of a darling of New York,
she's a media darling, she's at Fashion Week front row,
and the string of girlfriends after Kanye
did not get the same sort of treatment.
Yeah, beginner's luck I guess, chalk it up.
Beginner's luck.
I can't believe, have you had Julia Fox on this podcast?
I have not.
I feel like you guys would jive.
I honestly can't think of two people more different. Which makes for more different which makes i feel like you could talk back and forth can i ask you a totally
unrelated question yeah are you wearing a baby g watch no it's ivora okay you want to hold it sure
it looks like a baby g from back in the day i forgot i was supposed to put on my nice watch
to be on explain to me ivora um it's Evora. It's a smaller company and they reached out
and they were like, do you like our watch?
I'm like, I get an ad on Instagram
for your watches every single day actually.
Oh, wow.
So I do love them.
This is a great promo for them.
I literally thought it was a Baby G.
I know.
I'm like, you're so Baby G.
I'm so Baby G.
When are Baby Gs making a comeback?
I think right now after this airs.
Because honestly, no offense to Evora, I'm sure you've got a great brand, but this is a Baby G. Yeah, well, I don't know if Baby G. When are Baby Gs making a comeback? I think right now after this airs. Because honestly, no offense to Evora.
I'm sure you've got a great brand, but this is a Baby G.
Yeah, well, I don't know if Baby G is still with us today.
I think that they are.
And I just want to say there's something incredibly underrated about a digital, like, I cannot tell time.
I mean, I can, but it would take me this long to find out it's 821.
Ask me what time it is.
Do you have the time, by the way?
Oh, sure.
Let me grab my watch.
It's 822 22 that's how
long it would take me on like an analog analog yeah i cannot read those and then i panic and
then you throw some roman numerals i'm done roman numerals i'm done it's never that's why i can't
watch football i i look oh no the super bowl lvi like what you don't need to What is LVI
Louis Vuitton International
I don't know
I don't know
I can't do those
I stare at the analog clock
Until someone's like
I'm like oh it's
And then someone else will say it
But what's so crazy
Is I used to really fuck heavily
With analog clocks
In high school
And middle school
Just so I could know
How much fucking time left
Was in this class That was like kind of My peak know how much fucking time left was in this class.
That was like kind of my peak
knowing how to tell time era.
I just knew where the hand would be.
Needed to be.
Yeah.
That's true too.
I love that.
How did we get to clocks from Kanye West's big juicy ass?
That's a good question.
Let's backtrack.
Yeah.
I asked you about your watch
because you were talking about...
His big bin.
Yeah.
Honestly, it's a fruitless endeavor to try and track us.
Oh, that was a question out of left field about the watch.
That threw a wrench in the whole tangent.
It was.
And I'm sorry I keep touching the mic.
You're okay.
It's connected to your mic as well.
No, it's not.
And so I'll touch it and then yours will start moving.
And I'm like, are we having an earthquake?
But you guys don't have earthquakes.
No, we don't.
But you do.
We do.
I've never felt one.
Couldn't be me.
I know.
Well, our next story is an opportunity for us to finally talk about ourselves, which
is so exciting because we have some U.S. Open news.
Because one of the players really was deeply
unwell yesterday during the day. His name is
Daniil Medvedev. He did win, but
he warned the ump. He said, someone's going to
die in this intense heat after he
won yesterday. So, soaked with sweat
as the temperature neared 95 degrees
on the hottest day at this year's U.S. Open,
the champion from 2021 walked slowly the towel off between points of his victory,
and he looked into a courtside camera and issued what sounded like a mix between a warning and a
play. He said, you cannot imagine. One player is going to die, and they're going to see.
The only thing that is a little bit, let's call it dangerous, is that the question is,
how far could we go english is not his first
language just please keep that in mind i'm not sure what we can do because probably we cannot
stop the tournament for four days because it's been what three four days it's been brutal like
this because then it basically ruins everything for the tv even the tickets everything it ruins
everything so i don't think that this could be done but he was just basically begging the powers
that be at the u.s open to do something the heat. I can't even imagine being there yesterday during the day because we got there.
No.
7.30 during Madison Keys.
It was brutal.
And it's, by the way, it's important to note, yesterday when we were at the, at night when
I left, I checked, it was 87 degrees.
Yeah.
Outside.
Inside the stadium, it's an open air stadium.
So it's like half open, half closed. Like it's. It's got like a big hole in the top. Right. It's inside the stadium. It's an open air stadium. So it's like half open, half closed.
Like it's-
It's got like a big hole in the top.
Right.
It's perfectly set.
It's got a big hole in the top.
It is at least 10 degrees hotter inside the stadium than it is outside.
You noticed that too.
Of course.
When I went outside, I'm like, wait, if I was sitting outside in this, I could handle it.
It's, it's, I think it's because there's a wind tunnel situation happening outside.
So there's a breeze inside the stadium.
It's,
it's just stagnant hot air.
It's crazy.
Fog thick.
It's crazy.
And you're sitting there next to Ben.
Yeah.
I was sitting there.
So my,
my buddy Hunter,
who's,
you know,
like this and I was like,
I'm kind of having like maybe a panic attack.
No,
I was definitely getting like a little nauseous.
We're going to get ripped to shreds about being dramatic.
I can't tell you.
No,
we're not being dramatic.
Let me,
let me tell you the level of this.
I'm going to the U S open.
I got a dress.
Like I,
like I continued playing tennis.
Of course.
And I wore a tennis dress.
Yeah.
I should have worn a tennis dress.
I wore pants.
I found a pair of scissors from someone and I cut the legs off my pants and I threw my underwear a tennis dress. I wore pants. I found a pair of scissors from someone
and I cut the legs off my pants.
Smart.
And I threw my underwear in the trash.
Smart.
Didn't help.
Oh.
Yeah, and I wore a sweater like over
because at that point I was like,
now I'm in shorts,
I have to keep the sweater over.
Unbearable.
I'm drenched in sweat,
but at least the sweater was covering
the massive amounts of sweat on my back.
The marks, yeah.
But anytime someone touched me, they'd say, ooh.
Don't touch.
Did you?
That's a number one rule. Don't touch.
Don't touch.
I looked like I went swimming.
It was hard, it was really honestly unbearable.
I brought a fan with me,
which was the absolute like savior of my life.
Where are people getting these fans?
Everybody had a fan.
Honestly, I've had one in my purse
for the last like three summers.
It is the only way to survive.
And when I got up off my seat, like literally, I like had my thighs like left marks.
It was like wet.
I was like sliding on my seat.
I was soaked.
I can't.
It was crazy.
And I do wonder that stadium, that roof closes.
It closes when it's like snowing and raining, right?
Right.
I do have to imagine the facility has air conditioning.
And I don't know why
when they know it's going to be a 90 degree day in the morning why they don't close it and put
on air conditioning they closed it a little bit during the day i read that article to block people
from the sun for the sun but then the sun the shadows were making it like harder for the players
to see the balls going in and out of the shade you like lose the ball actually this player in
his interview said that towards the end of the first set
he actually couldn't even see the ball
because he was just dizzy and nauseous.
And the other players heart was palpitating
and apparently the US Open is using crazy amounts of ice
and they have cooling fans.
And last night I saw the state
at when they were switching sets, Carlos Alcatraz,
Alcatraz, Alcaraz, sat down and they put this tube of ice around.
Just close the roof.
Ice?
Are we ancient Romans?
We just discovered fire.
We discovered ice.
Put the AC on.
No, it's moronic.
Put the AC on.
Put the AC on.
It really was unenjoyable.
And honestly, I have been loving
watching the US Open from home.
And I can't think of a
better way to watch than from the comfort of my own bed and air conditioning well the weather's
gonna be so nice I think starting tomorrow which is just ass I know because we really went like
during the peak it's just Kanye West big juicy ass it's Kanye West big juicy ass I think in time
the U.S. Open ends on Sunday I think in time for the finals like it will be okay well last year at
this time I was here as well and it was nice as it was so nice that's why they do it in September it's supposed
to be nice um I just I I feel for the I can't imagine being a player oh my god I can't I
imagine how I felt last night getting home I sat for a few hours like imagine standing running and
jumping and hitting for four hours can't I do think that I was sweating more than them sitting
completely still I was trying not to move and I was like there's no way they're
sweating more than me there's no way they have towels they have towels down there I desperately
needed a towel for my seat I was housing I had paper towel kind of like scrunched up all over my
neck and body because I was in it I was just like I i don't care i lost like the i want to like look
good for the us i lost that like almost immediately when i sat down the second i was like i put my
hair up i'm like i don't care here's here's something that i would like to chat about okay
well the most incredible thing i've ever noticed in my life most unimaginable phenomenon is how
really hot like attractive people don't seem to sweat at all.
And they are wearing pants and jackets
and they're hot and then they don't sweat.
I've seen the Northern Lights less amazing
than seeing a hot person that doesn't sweat.
I agree, there's definitely two types of people
in the universe.
And it's people who are deeply affected
by temperature regulation and people who are like
always cold, you know? Yeah. And the people who are always cold by temperature regulation and people who are like always cold, you know?
Yeah.
And the people who are always cold and whose body temperature is like always lower when it's really hot.
They're a little uncomfortable, but they're not wiping off their makeup and putting their hair in a bun and like sweating through their clothes.
Oh, your makeup would come off.
Makeup is a really, and I was like really concerned.
I'm like, I'm not going to the US Open without makeup on.
But it was a major concern.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
You got to go waterproof. You have to go waterproof. I've always said that. You've always makeup on but it was a major concern yeah oh wow yeah you gotta go waterproof you have to go water i've always said that you've always said that i was yeah i was uh
pretty miserable and we saw alcarez last night and i was like i really want to stay for the rest of
this match and i had to be the guy that was like excuse me i'm actually getting there like you're
really leaving right now i know it like it was it was unfathomable like for real it was just like kind of i was just
like it's very first world problems yeah how did you get home from the u.s open by the way driven
yeah okay and it was actually so funny because parking is like a mess but there's like all these
like random lots and there was a very right by the players lot there was like an empty lot and i was
like can we park here and the guy was like zell me a hundred bucks yeah i'm
like you got it done and it was literally the easiest thing it was a ponzi scheme like the
u.s opens kind of chaos uh as soon as you leave those gates right past the polo suite yep chaos
it is it is no how did you leave did you take an uber so we walk out we took the train there
because i was gonna say the train really is like the fastest way And when we were in the car
There was traffic
I was like
This is what you get
When you don't take the train
I'm so unprepared
For just New York in general
But I was at the
Rowing Blazers event
And I went
And I saw the line
And I go
I don't have time
To wait in the line
And then get on the train
So I'm scared of the train
Kind of like missing it
And messing it up
Yeah no
You have to be prepared
So I just like
Didn't even go
I went all the way
To the event And then I didn't even go in i looked at it i
took a picture and then i was i have to go to the u.s omen and cut my legs off my pants and so i
like got there whatever we went to leave and we turn around we're like let's get an uber
thinking we have beat the system no the uber i think the entire state of New York was trying to get an Uber. Yeah, of course. And so we walk and we're like, let's leave to the expressway.
We'll go under the bridge and then we'll call an Uber over there.
So you're like out of the zone.
As you walk out, people are like, you can get in my car.
You can get in my car.
I'm like ready right now.
We call them in New York, they're called gypsy cabs.
They're like unlicensed car services.
For the most part, they're safe.
By the way, they only take cash.
That's the annoying thing.
I would have made it work.
I was like, I'm walking through, and the first one is like, we can take you home.
I go, I don't want to get murdered.
I'm going to go get in my Uber.
Yeah.
Second one, we can take you home.
I mean, I could get murdered.
You're thinking about it.
Yeah, I'm like, I'm sweating so bad.
They really are.
They're pretty safe.
Finally, we found this dude, and he was shorter than me.
I'm like, I could maybe Fight him off
Yeah
If he tried to kill me
And at least
We'd be a little
We'd just be out of this
We'd call an Uber
It's kind of crazy
To like get into
An unmarked vehicle
But in New York
There is like a subculture
They're pretty safe
It's just people
Trying to make a living
For the most part
It's not people
Trying to murder
You know
Yeah you gotta read
The vibes too
You definitely gotta
Read the vibes
That's so fair
I didn't love seeing
Like girls alone
leaving with the unmarked vehicles.
If I was with like my sisters,
I wouldn't do it.
But if I was with Ben,
I would do it.
Yeah, yeah.
I was just talking to Ben actually
about how miserable.
My husband?
Yeah.
You were talking to my husband?
Yeah, I was talking to your husband
on the way here.
I didn't know you guys talked.
We talk all the time.
No way.
Yes.
I love that.
On Instagram and DMs.
He was like,
that was the most miserable I've ever been
talking about the US Open. Ben was like, I, that was the most miserable I've ever been talking about the US open.
So Ben was like,
really?
I looked at him at one point and he's,
I'm like very easily inconvenienced.
Like if I'm,
if I feel one drop of sweat,
the world is,
he has a higher bar for putting up with it.
I looked at him,
his face,
his face was like purple.
I was like,
are you okay?
And he was like,
honestly,
no.
Like he,
he was like suffering in silence and I was like, we can leave. Like he was like, honestly, no. Like he was like suffering in silence.
And I was like, we can leave.
Like he was really, he looked like he had just, I don't even know what he looked like.
He was deeply unwell.
And I was like, oh my God, I've never seen you like this.
I'm like, his face was like, kind of looked like swollen.
Was he trying to like power through?
He was just like being quiet.
He's like, Claudia hasn't complained yet.
I need to like be the strong.
And Ben's really not into tennis.
I'm the one who's like more into it.
So I did like, it was like my thing that he came to.
Yeah.
It wasn't like I was putting up with sports for him.
Right.
Like I do when I go to the Knick game.
Right.
So he was just like suffering in silence
and he was being a good husband.
I saw him.
I was like,
oh,
we can go.
It was crazy.
I can't even imagine.
That's like,
it was horrible.
I don't even,
there's no words you can really say.
I hate to be like an ungrateful snob
because tennis is like so snobby.
But it was a great match,
but it was really unbearable at some points.
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Rules and restrictions may apply. Yeah, I don't really understand. It's been miserable, everything that we've done here.
But that was like crazy.
And it was more miserable because I'm looking around
and no one seemed to be in the same state I was.
I know, because it really was like seeing a once-in-a-lifetime player.
Like he's really, Carlos Alvarez, he's a number one.
We stayed for him.
I stayed for him and I stayed as long as I could for him.
Yeah, we did what we could.
And I took a bunch of videos so I could rewatch those.
Of course, of course. As long as I could for him yeah we did what we could and I took a bunch of videos so I could re-watch those of course as long as I want the whole next set I feel like I've just kind
of delayed the fifth and final story because I like genuinely don't want to talk about this
Delta Airlines flight yeah um but I guess we have to so we haven't spoken about it yet so if you
don't know what I'm talking about there was like a biohazardous event on a Delta flight that caused
the flight to turn around um people on the flight were saying they were smelling one of the worst things
they've ever smelled.
It was unclear what really had happened.
We now have gotten more information.
We've got footage from the inside of the flight.
One of the passengers was filming as he deplaned.
So here's the headline.
I just want to say,
these are the New York Post's words,
not my words.
Okay.
Passengers aboard diarrhea
plane
have shared their ordeal. Quote,
it was dribbled down the aisle, smelled
horrible. Grossed out passengers
have detailed the ordeal of being stuck on a
Delta flight that was forced to turn back after someone
could not contain their explosive diarrhea,
which left the crew ripping out carpet
to contain the biohazard.
Quote, it was an experience that I hope no one has to go through,
Maria Beals Basinger told the Daily Mail.
Just two hours into its eight-hour trek to Barcelona,
the flight was diverted back to Atlanta.
Here's what a fellow passenger had to say.
I hope that poor woman that had this experience recovers.
It was dribbled down the aisle.
It smelled horrible.
It was pretty bad the vanilla scented disinfectant disinfectant used on it only made it smelled like vanilla
shit that might be the worst part that's the worst part the disinfectant because i know
there's the only thing worse than shit is a is a fruity scent trying to cover up the shit
here's what more people had to say. The flight was met by emergency vehicles
and EMTs carrying the sick passenger off the plane.
After the plane landed, it was thoroughly clean.
They didn't leave around 2.30 a.m.
The pilots made the right decision to turn around.
Considering the circumstances,
the ground crew did a great job
along with the attendants and pilots.
There's so much to unpack from this entire ordeal,
but I have to say,
you know who's coming out on the other end?
Delta.
Because everybody is like really pleased with how they handled the situation.
And like customer service afterwards.
I'm sure everybody got vouchers and refunds and all that stuff.
So, you know, you would think this would be a nightmare PR moment for Delta.
But they're kind of coming out clean.
You love Delta too, right?
Love.
Yeah.
They're becoming my favorite airline.
This helped a lot.
I actually have been having, don't tell anyone, like a United moment.
Yeah.
Let me tell you.
Because one of my things is like I'm always going to find the best, like most, this is
because something I learned from being friends with the Points guy.
The Points guy.
Yeah.
You know, you're taking a flight from New York to LA.
Yeah.
You could take any airline.
There's so many great ones.
JetBlue, Delta, United.
But if you're like, if you do research on the type of plane you're getting from different airlines like you can find yourself on like the
newest plane with the best wi-fi that's free and new seats like you know sometimes you get on a
plane like damn this is an old plane yeah it's because you didn't do your research what do you
how do you know if it's a newer plane do they so it all the planes have like a carfax yeah like
they have um like boeing they have names yeah so you'll google
the name and you go to like a website like seek guru and they'll tell you about the plane
what yeah it's it's a lot more work but it's worth it wow you're putting in the man hours
yeah because i'm flights are fucking expensive yeah like even a slow like a short ass flight
to florida these days is like 600 bucks yeah so if I'm spending it, I want the best of the best.
I want the newest plane with the fastest wifi
and I want TVs.
They've been doing that sometimes.
You don't get a TV on a three-hour flight, you're nuts.
That should be a lawsuit actually.
I don't know when boredom, attention span
became means for a lawsuit, but I think I would-
I would definitely- I would explode.
I'd be feeling litigious.
I would have biohazardous diarrhea
if I didn't have a screen on a plane.
Maybe that's what happened here.
I think it's really interesting,
this story is interesting, I mean that, I'm storing that.
I fly for free a lot because my dad was a pilot,
so standby. No way, wait,
tell me all about that.
So I heard that like when you're related to like a pilot
or something like that, you just pay the taxes and fees.
Yeah. So what does that usually cost for like
an LA to New York flight?
40 bucks.
Yeah.
Can you get first class?
If you get upgraded, yeah.
I mean if there's open seats.
Are you high on a list
because you're like friends and family?
He's retired now so I moved way down.
But for a long time, like in college it was fun
because I could just like on the weekends
like go see a friend at a different college or something
And is there a limit on how many per year?
No, no
And what airline was your dad a pilot for?
He was, do what?
What airline?
Oh, United
So does that only apply to United?
He gets a discount on like other airlines as well
I mean it's the, that's the best perks that I can imagine out of like any job
Duh
That's like accessible
And pilot is like such a
prestigious job like people have such respect for pilots I like it was so funny anytime I saw him
in the airport people would like shake his hand and yeah he's not like in the military you know
like was he in the military yeah he was and that's how he got into flying yeah he was in the yeah he
flew planes wow that's so fascinating it is is cool. So were you there for like,
because I've been on planes before
where it's like retiring pilots last flight
and they do like that water thing with like the hoses.
Was there a moment like that and were you there?
He, there was something going on with,
so he was at Continental and they merged into United
way back in the day.
Wow, throwback to Continental.
They kept the logo, which I like.
And they put United on.
They should have kept me at Continental. That's the logo, which I like. Yeah. And they put United on. They should have kept
Continental.
That's like so elite.
Such a great airline name.
Yeah.
But they had,
United was trying to save money
so they laid off
like a bunch of pilots,
gave some pilots
the opportunity
to retire early.
Got it.
And so he did that
so he actually didn't have
like a final flight.
Which is kind of nice.
Because it's so sad.
It's kind of like
irish exit yeah vibes yeah i don't think i would want to be on it would be sad but also be like
kind of awkward yeah okay so i will say like i have been on a flight where it's a retiring pilot's
last flight and his like wife and kids come and it's like very sweet but he always gets like
choked up and it's so sad like you know just kind of being sended off into retirement yeah and
there's an element of you know of sadness to it so i agree and definitely an element of awkwardness
because it's like it is like it's i was excited to be a part of it but at the same time like i'm
traveling i'd like to get off this plane can we hustle can we move along yeah i don't and i don't
know this i don't know i don't know you congrats it's true yeah yeah it's like i actually got
seated at the hibachi table with someone whose birthday it is. Right. Do I sing happy birthday?
What does this have to do with me?
I would kind of like the onion.
So let me ask you another question.
So he is retired, but you still get the perks?
Yeah, a little bit.
Like I said, it's like way, way less prioritized now.
But like just now on the way here, he's like, what flight are you going to leave on tomorrow?
Which is nice.
And a lot of times from New York to LA, for some reason, like it's wide open.
Yeah, because there's so many airlines and so many.
It's like a very popular route. I can get a row wow which sometimes you want the row over the nicer
seat that requires yeah it's true a three seat row to yourself is kind of extremely luxurious yes
it is and that's what you have on the way here um no I had middle seat in the very back because a
family with a toddler was in my seat and I go that's my seat and they go oh they said
there was no one in this seat because like I get on last if there's an open seat and I was like oh
no there is now because I'm standing here and that's it so the toddler you were in between the
toddler and the parents I was on the aisle so I was like excited to pee nine times on my flight
and uh I don't have explosive diarrhea the flight attendant walks up and says, yeah, flight attendant comes up and says,
there's actually a seat open in the very back middle next to those two giant
men.
And I go, and she goes, she goes,
if you don't want to separate the family, of course.
Oh, you bitch.
By the way, I just want to say that's so crazy.
Had you been a paying customer, right?
You have every right to say no.
I would not.
It's really not your problem. i would not like it's really
not your problem i would not have yeah but you know you're kind of a grifter oh so so you took
the seat i took the seat in the back i took the seat that's like crazy yeah it was almost u.s
open level hot back there next to the two men and the bathroom uh in the bathroom yeah which
that sucked as well yeah but that fell second to me being hot
the family together i did i'm a hero you know that that kind of karma will come back like you
will get upgraded to first class like when you least expect it in the coming months i really
believe that yeah i'm putting that knock wood i have to i have to ask did you shift conversation
because of the poop i did well i shifted conversation because honestly like i don't
want to talk about this delta flight but I really was and am fascinated by people who are related to pilots
yeah I think it's so interesting so like what was your dad's schedule you know like when you
were growing up yeah he I mean he like missed Christmas a lot and like stuff like that yeah
so like we ended up not being like a serious like birthday family because you know because
we're so unpredictable yeah so it's it's been that and
then like towards the end of my like living with my parents he would work like six days a month
wow that's nice he did international only so he'd be like london paris tokyo and was it ever a like
a thought that maybe you wanted to be a pilot like your dad my little sister's a pilot now
no way yeah and she's flying i don't think i can she's flying some big names to like
fest music festivals she's flying private yeah she's flying private I don't think I can, she's flying some big names to like music festivals.
Is she flying private?
Yeah, she's flying private planes.
Wow.
Is she like a full captain, co-captain?
How old is she?
I don't know.
She's 24.
Wow.
She's young.
I've been in a plane with her before and she's going Delta 999.
Right.
I'm like, I don't, are you being serious?
Are you like messing with me?
I actually was in a, I probably shouldn't say that.
I don't know the aviation rules.
Yeah, don't, yeah.
That's cool.
Nothing illegal, nothing illegal.
She just.
That's so cute that she like followed in your dad's,
do you think your dad likes her better?
I think in many ways, yes.
Yeah.
I don't think that there's many ways
that they would like me better.
I could see them liking her better.
Yeah, she's got it going on.
I think it's really awesome that she's doing that because I now have another
immediate family member that can, that's working if she goes commercial again. That's fabulous.
Um, yeah, it's, it's really cool. I love that. Well, I have to say you really blew it out of
the water. You did. Actually, you did a great job. Actually. Wow. Funny, smart, great anecdotes.
Honestly, I'd invite you back you would i would
okay well if you've enjoyed what you've heard here today you have your own podcast it's called
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