The Toast - FunnyD Deficient: Wednesday, March 13th, 2024

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

Paris Hilton blasts uncle Mauricio Umansky for speaking 'negatively' about her dad Rick to 'plug his lame show' (Page Six) (33:04)Actor Drake Bell Was Sexually Assaulted by Nickelodeon Dialogue Coach (PEOPLE) (41:43)Hoda Kotb planning third date with mystery man introduced to her by Jenna Bush hager (Page Six) (48:08)Former Little Mix Singer Perrie Edwards' Announces Debut Solo Album (Billboard) (55:16)Tom Sandoval accuses ex Ariana Madix of talking 'sh-t' about entire 'Pump Rules' cast in explosive trailer (Page Six) (1:01:08)Vanderpump Rules Recap (1:01:08)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Toast, and happy Wednesday. It is hump day! That's right, so don't forget to hump someone you love. Speaking of somebody I love, it's my co-host, my sister, my raison d'etre. It's Jax. Reason d'etre.

Is there a higher compliment in the land? I wouldn't know, because I actually don't know what raison d'etre translates to. I just know it's like reason for... Reason for being. I mean, if the reason why I wake up in the morning well the reason why I wake up in the morning these days is Tromeo specifically this morning because one Ben Soffer celebrity left super early on a flight I'm alone with Tromeo for the next couple of days like single parenting it and I'm not looking forward to it especially the

morning ones Ben does it in the morning and like today I seriously like was really unhappy however however yesterday was our first no accident day put a one up on the board one day without accident I do think I have a better chance of having more accident-free days with Ben Safar's celebrity being out of town and now that's not to say that he's a neglectful parent or anything I just think I have a better chance of having more accident-free days with him gone because Ben just sort of like marches to the beat of his own schedule when there's like very clearly a schedule we're supposed to be following that was given to us by the trainer he has a hard time following rules he's like oh it's sad he has to go in the crate like it's actually not sad that's

his home it's very lovely like I have no qual he has to go in the crate. Like, it's actually not sad. That's his home. It's very lovely. Like, I have no qualms about putting Romeo in the crate. Ben thinks it's literally like abuse. Yeah. No, these next few days will be good for the schedule and also good for your bonding as you further cement your role as primary caregiver and favorite parent. As number one, you know, giver in this group. Yeah. But, you know, yesterday was a big day. Very proud of Romeo. And, you know, it was so gorgeous outside. What were you going to say? Oh, one.

We have a one up on the board. Yesterday was like the first nice day. You know, people in New York like treat it like it's like seriously 95 degrees. Were they laying out in Central Park? So let me tell you, I was in the park because I did my first session with the running coach, which went fabulously, might I add. I really, I can't lie. I loved it. Like, I'm just that girl running, you know, and I know everybody's like looking at me running, being like, oh my God, she's gorgeous. She's athletic. I want to be her the way we all look

at other runners, you know, I'm her now. And I just, I could tell everyone in the park was like deeply jealous of me and really. Did they all stand up and start clapping they were in awe of my athleticism and like you know it was busy because it was really nice out so there was like people schools elderly you know people getting engaged things like that and they were like kind of in my way on the trail so I was like being such a classic runner just sort of like cutting through like beep bop boop bop giving very much like pinball energy do you not think that you're one of those like cliche first day of spring people getting out there and getting after it yeah but when I like what people in the park were saying about me is that it wasn't cliche because I was so like elegant in my running it's like you do this every day not

just on the first nice day right so sorry having said that Romeo and I spent so much time outside yesterday because my building has a lot of outdoor area. There's also a little like dog park in my building. And oh my God, everyone in the building was out and about. Like it was just one of those days. And it's really nice again today, but it's not going to be the same as yesterday. Like yesterday was the first day everyone was out. Having a dog really allows you to get to know your neighbors and your neighborhood because you're just like on the street in front of your building like multiple times a day. You see the same people like going to work, coming back from work. Everyone makes this, oh yeah, cutie. Let me tell you something. I'm so glad you said that. You just reminded me of something.

So at my old building, there was another cavalier in the neighborhood. And not to be so rude, one of the ugliest dogs I've ever seen in my entire life like I hated this dog and the owner like always wanted Theo to play and like Theo was outside for for a reason like he was like let me take this dump so I can get my ass back upstairs he was not a dilly-dallier he didn't like to you know roam the streets and he certainly didn't want to hang out with this nasty looking mutt like he didn't like to Romeo? Exactly. So it was just this thing, like me and Ben, whenever we'd get back from the walk we'd be like, oh, we saw the lady. It was just like this funny family inside joke.

I haven't thought about her since I moved and since Theo passed. I'm walking to work the other day. I see the lady. But she'd never dog. And I'd never mind. She didn't recognize me. It took me 45 seconds to place her. And without your dogs, why would you talk? of course not but by the way she's the type of lady who would talk is what I'm saying for sure no but like they're the reason to tear

other than the dogs like the two of you are just strangers passing and with my new building since there is there's a big dog community in my building because it's a very dog friendly building. And actually the super has a dog. And Theo. Excuse me. Romeo. Romeo had like a little play date with the super's dog this morning. And I just feel like I'm about to get some special treatment. Like for real. In the building.

It's true. It's a great way to make friends. Get building tea. Because you're just around in the lobby all the time outside the front of the building like you just see stuff you're right actually yesterday i found out the craziest thing about my building because you're changing they're changing the name of the building that's weird and they were actually asking if you had any ideas like you can put it forward like the names of buildings are meaningless it could be called the journey you know like oh i should put

that forward you should so they're changing the name. You're right. I do learn a lot about my surroundings. Interesting. A building rebrand. I'll try and think of some names for you guys. So Ben's out of town. My best friend Abe is out of town.

So I really have nobody. Come here. Literally. Hey, Romeo. I mean, training Tromeo in a backyard would be so much fucking easier than what I'm currently doing. By the way, what if it, like, Ben just came home and I was gone? Romeo should be here. He should be here.

Standing with his arm around brew here. He really should. Think about it. We'll talk about it offline. Oh, speaking of things we're doing offline, today's such a fabulous day. One, it's Wednesday, which is just always, you know, good show energy.

Two, programming update is that we both are fully caught up and we watched an episode of Vanderpump Rules yesterday. So instead of Deer Toasters today, we're going to do that tomorrow. And today we're going to do a big recap of Vanderpump Rules because I watched three episodes last night. And if that weren't enough, today at 5 p.m. Eastern time for our Patreon subscribers, which you can still join as of this moment, we are doing a YouTube live show. We love doing a

live podcast. It's kind of, you know, it's cocktail hour. It's 5 p.m. Eastern time. The day is winding down. Jackson and Turdy are doing a little toast after dark. We play some of our favorite games. We talk about pop culture. You probably get a Tromeo POV. True. And it's just something we like to do once a month, sometimes, on Patreon. It's so fabulous. It's for members only.

So if you head to patreon.com slash toast, you can become a member now, just in time to see us live at 5 p.m. Eastern time. There's a chat. You can write with the other toasters. We read the comments. So it's very interactive and fun. And it's truly the toast after dark, even though 5 o'clock these days it's

nice and sunny thanks to daylight savings yeah let's talk about that too how is that going for you the toast before sunset it's going great for me I'm loving every minute I'm loving every minute of having extra daylight I agree because you know what I've been doing recently I've been praying for daylight and it's finally come to fruition and it's definitely a mood booster it's good for my health it is now we can play outside after dinner oh that's cute and now I'm like what did we do for the last five months after dinner cry I guess it was like already dark so it just like felt more like sleepy time vibes whereas now even at seven o'clock it's still light out so it's not bedtime does that change your kids bedtime it hasn't really but you would think that it would but I guess we just play up until bedtime then like change in bed and

that's it no like wind down the wind down happens earlier I guess got it got it it's really just better and you know I was suffering I don't know if I shared this kind of personal medical news on the show I was diagnosed with a vitamin d deficiency and so i'm hoping this extra hour oh i shared yeah i remember we all know that she needs the d she needs it now hopefully these amounts with daylight savings that'll help my d deficiency you would hope. One could argue. For your deficiency. Vis-a-vis. Of the D. Right.

Do you remember Sunny D? But Ben's out of town, so perhaps not. Do you remember Sunny D? Sure. The drink? Yeah. Why wouldn't I? Have I fallen on my head?

I was just thinking about that. Like, what happened to Sunny D? I canceled. But how many kids literally got cancer from Sunny D? Like, that shit was just not,

not health conscious. It's like rocket fuel for children. Literally. We know too much now. But I feel like they, do they still sell it? Maybe.

And brave souls are buying it. But I think also probably what they've done is they just kind of have repackaged it to be like Sunny D Organic. Right, right, right. Funny D. I'd drink that. Oh, I mean, I don't need to.

You are funny D deficient. What the lady said. What the lady said. So Deer Toaster is postponed to tomorrow. Vanderpump Rules today. what the lady said, what the lady said. So, dear toasters, postpone to tomorrow. Vanderpump rules today. Jackson Turdy, Turdy and Jax.

Okay, wait, Bryce and Strice. Bryce and Rice. Bryce and Rice. Is that what we're calling the boys? And Strice. I feel like it's going to be like

Tro and Bro. I like that. Let's just see where it takes us. We don't have to plan these things. That's one thing that we don't have to work hard at is the jargon and the lingo evolving and doing what it does. And I think we should just let the chips fall where they may. I think that would be the right thing to do.

I think it's generally speaking always the right thing to do. Do you think so? When in doubt let the chips fall there where they may every once in a while you must place chips manipulate them arrange chips because maybe they fell in a way that wasn't best yeah but generally speaking you may like chips fall where they may can I say something else totally off topic but complimentary of you so I know you'll embrace this topic change? I will allow it. You've been looking so small recently like just petite and frail. How is your health journey going? I know it's something you've been working on. I've been working really hard on my health journey and mathematically like on the scale I'm not seeing the movement that I want to see but i feel really good so i'm trying

not to let that bog me down i think my body's like fighting me and they're like bitch we know you're about to get back into your bag of chocolate and go to the chocolatier like we're not gonna get you know we're not gonna start moving numbers i think they call that a non-scale victory no for real who who the community which? Like there are like benefits of like healthy living that aren't weight loss. No, I understand. But where does that term come from? An NSV? I feel like maybe like a dietician came up with it.

I'm not sure. But I have found like ever since. I don't hate it. But it's just like over describing just I feel good. No, I know. But there are other non-scale victories besides feeling good. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I feel good. No, but there are other non-scale victories besides feeling good. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, like better skin.

You might not see the results you want on the scale, but your clothes fit better. Yeah, yeah. So that would be a non-scale victory. Little things like that. No, I like the term. It's just- I know you have a hard time with the new age language

that comes up with phrases and words. It comes up with medical, clinical terms for things that it's just like, you have a hard time with like the new age language that like comes up with phrases and words that comes up with like medical clinical terms for things that it's just like I felt good today by the way that's not a clinical term it's not a medical term it's literally an internet term you don't think soon the doctor is going to be like have you had any non-scale victories recently you know what I could see it I could see it so what was the most recent non-scale victory that you had most recent non-scale victory that I had because I would say mine maybe yours would be similar it was yesterday when I ran with my coach like I really I like I walked home afterwards I wasn't gonna collapse you know

yeah we did the same program of training yesterday and I felt good I felt fine like it was hard but good yeah didn't that feel good that did feel good yeah so I would say that's an NSV oh yeah I ran two yesterday too I just so I then you know told Jackie what we worked on in the training so you could mirror that remotely. Consider it mirrored remotely. Thank God. Like, thank fucking God. It has been mirrored in a remote fashion. I have to thank you.

And I didn't even tell you this. Yeah, we're going viral on TikTok because of your Kenny Ortega clip. Tell me more. Let me pull it up. They're just loving Jax. Just in time for TikTok to be banned. I have my moment. I heard it passed the House floor this morning.

But does it have to pass the Senate too or it already passed the Senate? I'm not sure. But then I did hear Joe Biden say if it makes it to his desk, he's going to pass it too. Like everyone's kind of on board. Interesting. Elon's not on board. He's not? No, I saw a headline this morning.

I think he thinks it's government censorship. Okay, so it's at 700,000 views you're sorry okay yes wow cool thanks just in time for the band here are some of the top comments oh okay he directed Hocus Pocus High School Musical and Cheetah Girls that man's movies formed my personality like people just agreeing with you. And I feel like these aren't even toasters. Like we're really just somebody else. I actually gasped because of how perfect this was. That was like my feelings as well.

By the way, this, this. Kenny Ortega could do The Departed, but Scorsese could never do High School Musical. Literally. Literally. Literally. I think Kenny Ortega also did Descendants, which doesn't get its flowers because it's for the younger generation. Yeah.

But I'm glad that we can all unite around Kenny Ortega. And how would you feel if TikTok gets banned? It's like such a good question. I, not to be like so, this is going to be like so obnoxious, but there was a time when I first started my career, people used to always say like, if Instagram were gone tomorrow, what would you do? And I honestly, I was like, I don't know. Now I'm at a place where I feel I'm a multi-platform content creator. You're a multi-platform artist. But also I am, by the way, multi-award winning as well um Instagram's not going anywhere so like you know that problem's kind of solved I feel for the tiktakers who I'm sure their parents

have always been like well what happens if tiktok disappears tomorrow and it might disappear tomorrow for sure but I would remain unaffected I would remain unaffected career-wise which I think is fabulous and I makes me feel really good, about the business that we've built, that, like, we have things everywhere. In terms of, like, you know, my days freed up, hours back, I think I wouldn't miss it. It's like an addiction. Kind of like, I think I feel about it the way I felt about, like, my vape. Like, I loved it, but I knew it was bad for me.

And that, like, when the day came when I would be rid of it, like, I would feel good when that day came. I think that's how I feel. Let me just tell you I'd be thrilled of it, like I would feel good when that day came. I think that's how I feel. Let me just tell you, I'd be thrilled. We didn't even ask because we know. How I'd be thrilled to know that standing on the sidelines will have paid off for me.

And, you know, I never needed to build my business on TikTok because it's washed away. Well, you say that like very, you know, cavalierly. Knowing that the toast has been doing well on tiktok yeah and like i was like working on your behalf for sure but the toast success has little to do with tiktok for sure for sure but like you say your tiktok's older sister like who introduced them to you like it's not like you were completely absent it's not like tiktok didn't know me that's true that's true so thank you for that and for the people who found us from tiktok i will always be

grateful but i also know like you would have found us otherwise because we are of your elk and elk finds elk to be that's true by the way i got an actual serious note if tiktok were banned i would actually feel very relieved about the future for my children like for real that i would feel very relieved about like more relief not relief in general but there would be more relief about like everyone's mental health. Yep. Everyone's, you know,

just falling down like the same rabbit holes, finding themselves to be like experts on a certain subject, even like as benign as the Titanic. Oh, no. Kate Middleton. Everyone's having so much fun, but there are all these Titanic conspiracy theories that people really just

believe now because they've seen it on TikTok and they're so unfounded. But like because you saw a TikTok that makes you an expert. It does. And you know, I take Titanic misinformation personally. Yeah, obviously. Like you're really taking this personally. Calm down. No, I'm just I wanted to use a benign example because of course Osama bin Laden.

Like, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's a slippery slope into like actually, I mean, it's like a radicalization platform for a lot of kids when it comes to like the war in Israel and anti-semitism and then that you know it's like kind of emblematic of that person in the air force who set themselves on fire chanting free Palestine like clearly that person was mentally ill and his parents like literally said that he had fallen into a propaganda like campaign on social media and it cost him his life. Like it's serious. It is serious. And of course in a perfect world, like these algorithms could be neutral and less biased and positive.

Like not one bit of content carries more weight than another. And it was not censored as it is, but that's not happening as long as China owns it. So I think they would want to sell it. That would be good too. But in general, if it just has to go, bye-bye. No, but by the way, I'm also just a very- Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

You are bigger than the whole sky. I'm also so interested in like the creator economy and like what actually would happen to all these people who built platforms. Who has built something, you know, big enough to exist without the platform? It's very hard. Yeah, but I think if you've been doing a good job

and you would have had success anyway, then you will find your success elsewhere. And people, I do think this will be great for the Reels community. And people are doing really amazing things on Reels. Yeah, Jackie sent me a TikTok. I didn't even want to tell you. You sent me a Reel yesterday on like Instagram DMs.

And it was such an old trend what is it if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anybody but there would be signs oh I I've seen the trend but I sent it to you because of what it was the content of the video okay I thought that was your first time I thought it was a funny take on that trend it was it was it was I thought you just were introduced to the trend no no you would have to know the trend to understand this video because this one was if I won the lottery there would be signs and it was just like tons of blueberries because like all the kids eat are blueberries and they were like gorgeous looking blueberries yeah oh speaking of I went back to the kosher market yesterday me and Ben like we couldn't figure out what we wanted for dinner and I was like let's just walk over to the kosher mart ory's i don't know if you saw ory's posted us on their instagram like

what i tell you i've accomplished a lot in my career and like it takes certain things for people like who i've known forever to be impressed i saw all my friends after they're like did you see ory's posted you on instagram like that for them was bigger than madison square garden like that's beautiful is ory's our new sponsor do they ship um I don't know if there's if they can be considered a sponsor when I pay full price and um I've never been given you know so much as a discount code let me tell you it's pricey but I do feel it's worth it so I've really kind of been like in my orange era I've just been like a girl who like eats oranges in bed and like oranges or clementines oranges oh wow you take the time to peel let me tell you clementines? Oranges. Oh, wow. You take the time to peel.

Let me tell you, clementine is delicious, but too small. It's fleeting. Yes. I'm going to go to all this trouble for, like, I could eat a clementine and I wouldn't even be trying to eat it fast. 30 seconds. It's not enough for me. I like to cuddle up in bed and like, it's a project too, the orange. It's like a, it's a journey.

And I don't know, I just love the way it smells. And then I'm's like a it's a journey and I don't know I just love the way it smells and then I'm just like a cute little girl with my like fuzzy socks and I'm just watching Vanderpump Rules eating an orange that was me yesterday I just felt very girly very feminine and I loved it what kind of oranges do you have sumo oranges because we have them here and apparently they're amazing Olivia's always talking about them but I've not tried one everyone on TikTok is always talking about sumo oranges I don't know anything about them I also don't look like when it comes to apples I'm like very specific about you know Granny Smith versus Honeycrisp orange if it looks good I take it I actually think you

wouldn't choose a sumo apple they look a little disfigured sumo apple sumo orange the sumo orange like doesn't look like a gorgeous picture perfect orange. No, yeah. I like, I need it to be gorgeous. The perfect shade, huge. Also bought a cantaloupe. To carve yourself? So the last time, the thing I love about this market is they have so much pre-cut fruit.

Now, of course, it's like triple the price, but it saves you a lot of time. Last time we got it, I'm like, you know what? I'm not loving the cantaloupe. So this time Ben was like like let's cut it ourselves oh my god I'm 20-30 minutes cutting this cantaloupe I get it all in a Tupperware it literally like wasn't good maybe I don't like you don't like cantaloupe because I had cantaloupe here while you were here and you were clowning you were like this cantaloupe has gone bad I'm like no that's what cantaloupe tastes like okay I don't like cantaloupe yeah yeah good to know you've learned something new about yourself every day so when I went to the

market last night I experimented I'm I'm getting into kiwi kiwi co yeah I'm getting into kiwi okay cool yeah that's just like the new thing I tried like you know I I also was never someone who ate oranges and now like Ori got me into oranges. What about peaches? Like actually delighted that you brought that up because I feel I feel a really specific way about peaches. There's a very short window of the year where I'll fuck with a peach so disgustingly hard. Now they sell them year round, which actually should be illegal because it's, it has, we are coming up on peach season. Well, what I was thinking the other day is I don't think fruits were meant to be, like

certain products are not meant to be year round. Cherries. Things. Because we were just at the strawberry patch and maybe at other times of the year they don't grow strawberries because it's not strawberry season. And it's like, I feel like this is a modern invention where we get all fruits all year round. I don't like it.

And it wasn't supposed to be this way. And our fruits are suffering because they're growing when they shouldn't be growing. I feel like back in the day, it's like you only had strawberries one season out of the year and it was like exciting to have a strawberry at that time. And it was a tasty strawberry. I agree with the thesis, although I don't, I do think there are certain fruits that are year round. Strawberries being one of them, blueberries.

Like there are, I think, more exotic fruits. Like they're the basics, and I think the basics are year-round sustainable, you know? But then the peaches, I think, are seasonal. I feel like apples. What about apples? Because I feel like there's apple season in New York. You go apple picking. You don't go apple picking in the spring.

Okay. There's apple season in New York for apples that are grown in New York. But you can, climate-wise, grow them in other places, and that's what we're getting at the grocery store in the middle of February. We're not getting New York apples. Right. But you know what? Now that I'm such a fruit head,

is that what we're calling ourselves, the fruit community? Maybe I'll go apple picking this fall. You should. Yeah. You know apple picking this fall. You should. Yeah. You know what? Like this is how it starts. No, we are homesteading trad wives. We don't even realize that we've been,

we've been radicalized. We have been radicalized for sure. Wait, I'm sorry. This is a slow start. Like, and I feel like most people come at it from sourdough. That's what I see like first you get a sourdough and then you have chickens but I feel like I'm bypassing sourdough it doesn't I don't feel the need for it other than it's like what my people are doing but you have to grow your your sourdough like it's like a living organism yeah like a plant I and I what would I do with a loaf of bread even anyway?

I'm on a diet. Right. But if I'm making my own sourdough, then my bread is healthy for my diet. But it's still bread. Yeah, like it's still not what I should be eating. So I'm sorry. I brought up the kosher mart also to say they had a lot of pre-prepared foods and I ended up getting a rotisserie chicken.

Now, a fun fact about Turdy is she loves a rotisserie chicken. This will not surprise anyone if you know Turdy and you've been paying attention. For sure. But I just think a lot of people would be shocked to like something pre-prepared, like sweating in a meat case all day, like is something I would like. And I have to tell you. They saw what you ate when you were little. Right. Your chicken. I have to tell you, Jackie, about this rotisserie chicken. I'm sure it was the best thing you've ever eaten in your life. It was the best thing

I'd ever eaten in my life. And I've had a lot of rotisserie chickens. And some grocery stores in the city carry kosher rotisseries. Allies. Ally ship right there. Fairway. Thank you, allies.

Thank you. She is an ally. However, you know, when you're kosher, you're desperate. So you just eat whatever. You're like, yeah, it's good. It's good.

It really took me eating this rotisserie chicken for Maurice to know how deprived I've been. Jackie, I could have drank the juice at the bottom with a straw. No, it's so crazy and unfair to me. I don't like to complain that like some people can just go to Publix and buy a rotisserie chicken and just have that for dinner every night if they want to. No, I said, I'm like, I literally would want to. No I said I'm like I literally would never cook if I had people over I get two of these rotisserie chickens put them on a plate and pretend like I made it like. For some for most people like that's having a pre-made rotisserie

chicken like people are always talking about pre-made rotisserie chickens where are the best ones Costco like that's a daily occurrence for them and and I find it unfair I do. I mean if we lived in Israel like we wouldn't have these problems. That's true. Or you could just live near Ori's. Yes, so true. Honestly, I don't live close enough. And let me tell you, once you get within like a three block radius,

oh my God, it is the social scene of the century. Like me and Ben were walking. Oh my God, he saw this guy from basketball team. I saw someone from high school. Like it's literally, once you get in, it's kind of like a vortex. Once you step in with like a three block radius, east, south, north and west,

like it's over for you. Speaking of of chicken I've been cooking chicken every night and I have officially perfected baked chicken do you think that's why you look so good because I'm upping my protein and I have egg whites every day too she's literally on her protein grind I should her in the gym bro I should probably just do keto right now because I'm having a lot of protein options. But it's like I can't let go of my popcorn and my true fruits. I can't. By the way, that's literally me. You just, I've been really trying to do like mostly meat because I'm a volume, what I've realized about myself is I'm a volume eater.

Like I need to eat a lot to be full. I'm hungry. No, but I'm a volume eater. Like I need to eat a lot versus like, you know, small portions'm hungry. No, but I'm a volume eater. Like I need to eat a lot versus like, you know, small portions of like dense things. Do you know what I mean? I actually would have thought you were the opposite. No, it takes a lot for me to get full. So like when you're a volume eater or something like keto where you can have unlimited protein is great for you. So I've really been trying to do that. But like at the end of the day, like a true fruit, my popcorn, like things, you you're right i can't give up these are important

to me so maybe i could swap them for like keto friendly late night treats i just don't know if i want to go the way of keto like no then you start to smell it's such it's so foolproof though like if calorie counting is math keto is science okay Sheldon okay Elizabeth Zott it's giving lessons in chemistry I love her and speaking of celebrities like should we get into the show we should because it's our job and the sooner we get into the show the sooner we can talk about Vanderpump Rules and eat lunch and. And eat lunch. A keto-friendly lunch. We'll see. So without further ado, here are the Fast Five Stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by Dossier. Dossier has become

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I feel like designer perfume is like the scam of the century. It's literally water in a bottle. It costs them three cents to make and they're selling it for, some of them, $300. Dossier is finding out those nodes, those fragrances, and just sort of making their own. I'd say I wore the Dossier perfumes all in St. Barts because I was like sweating a lot. I was just like moving a lot throughout the day at the beach, beach clubs, parties and stuff. So I kept one of the perfumes in my purse and I just got so many compliments on it. I happen to love, I have like 10 of their fragrances. I think the, um, I'm not like a one fragrance girl. Like I don't have a signature scent.

I just like always want to smell good. So I'm always trying different things and Dossier I think is a great place to do that. And they have the sampler. I love my sampler. Indulging in luxury is a personal pleasure that everyone can enjoy each day. Visit dossier.co and use code toast at checkout for 10% off your next order. That's D-O-S-S-I-E-R.co, code TOAST for 10% off. Today's episode is also brought to you by Nutrafol. All right, hair thinning, hair shedding, any sort of hair issues. Are you experiencing it? If you are, sure they did too.

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So head to kadenlane.com slash toast20 and use code toast20 for 20% off your order. That's C-A-D-E-N-L-a-n-e.com backslash toast 20 for 20 off and make sure you use the code the promo code toast 20 so they know that we sent you yeah make sure you use it so that they rebook and i can get more clothes lol and swimsuits you i'm sorry are you ready for our first story yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some drama, major family drama in the Hilton Richards Umansky family. I'm aware. This is like the story that never ends.

Out of nowhere, but it's also like coming full circle because the trailer for the new season of Buying Beverly Hills just dropped. Mauricio's reality show about his company, The Agency. And he all of a sudden is saying what happened between him and the Hiltons when he worked for Rick Hilton and what led to a falling out within his family which this is the exact story that people speculated for years and exactly what we thought happened but they didn't ever talk about it because it's family right because when we met Kyle on the Real Housewives like the first two maybe three seasons that is when he left and when

we met her she wasn't talking to Kathy correct? I don't recall but when we met her Mauricio hadn't started the agency. Right he started maybe like season three. So in the time that we met her he was working for Hilton and Highland which is Rick Hilton's real estate company. Rick Hilton is Kathy's husband. Yep. then he left and then they started the agency and in that time kathy and kyle were no longer speaking and mauricio went out on his own so you have to think these two things are related which is what we always thought and which turns out to be true but now mauricio is telling the story on his show he said quote i think i kind of got fucked by hilton and highland and when when I say fucked, you know, like today I'm happy. But there was 100 agents at Hilton and Highland.

He said they did a billion dollars for the first time a year. I was 19.6% of their production. He remembered that he thought he deserved to be made partner because he contributed so much to the agency. But when he asked Rick for equity in the company, Rick turned him down. So he quit and started the agency which he founded in 2011 and has since become a major real estate firm and is featured on his Netflix series. He also talks about on his show Kyle's reaction when Kyle told him this and she was like you know this is kind of

going to be a big thing in the family but I support you and she completely supported him. Well I mean that it worked out for them tremendously. Whatever ended up actually happening in Hilton and Highland I'm sure everybody has their own version of the truth. You know, but this makes sense. He was a major earner, and he wanted to be a partner or have equity, and they said no for whatever their reasons were. So he said, if I'm doing this here, I can do this on my own, and started his own thing.

But also, his own thing is in direct competition to the thing that he was working on with his brother-in-law. I'm sure his brother-in-law like helped him get started and had connections. Yeah, of course. Hilton and Highland was like a very successful real estate firm like long before Mauricio was there. Like they did him a favor and gave him a job basically. And so he took that. And I'm sure that they see it as like him being greedy.

Like we gave you a job. Like we gave, Kathy's like I gave my sister's husband a job and look what he did like I'm sure everybody sees it a different way but Paris Hilton left a comment so I have the comment here she commented on a post about the subject and said my father is a consummate gentleman and has always taken the higher road he would never speak negatively about his family especially in the press frankly we are all sick of him using the Hilton name every chance he gets to plug his lame show. It is enough already.

Yikes. Okay, so like, first of all. This signals to me, first of all, just Mauricio kind of telling the story and not in a nefarious way. And he also said like, I have nothing ill to say of Hilton and Hyland because I think nothing ill of them.

He was not like trash talking or anything, just like telling the story as it happened. But to me me it signals the fact that he would tell the story finally that like him and the Hiltons because he has no no relationship with Kyle anymore like he doesn't care oh yes I totally forgot their divorce thank you for so long he wouldn't say because like that was his family and Kyle didn't want it out there but now now it's like- But it's still his kid's family. It is, but I also feel like, of course, you don't air your family's dirty laundry. But Kyle and Kim and what's the other one? Kathy.

Sorry, I thought Kim. Okay, Kyle, Kathy, and Kim have been fighting publicly for almost a decade. Like this is one small piece of the puzzle. Like who even cares? I don't think it's such a big deal that he finally said what happened. No, it's not even that.

You're not supposed to, you know, air your family's dirty laundry in public. We have so like crossed that line years ago. Like that's not even an issue anymore. Like that's what they do. Yeah, of course. That's what this family does. So like now, why is this different?

And I also feel like this is the least dirty piece of laundry of all the fights that have been out there, you know, like alcohol, the house. Of course. It's been so much nastier and dirtier. I feel like now it's kind of ancient history and he's just explaining this on his real estate show, how he got his start. I do also think that, you know, I'm sure everybody has their own version of the truth, but let's say it happened exactly as Mauricio described it. I don't think that makes really anybody look bad. It makes Mauricio look like a hard worker.

It makes Rick look, you know, magnanimous for giving this person a job and really giving him his start but not forking over a piece of his company. Like, I don't feel like it makes anybody look bad. I don't think so either. I'm sure if Rick had a show and said his side of the story, he would have perfectly good reasons

for not having made Mauricio a partner, giving him equity at that time. Yeah. Also, like I feel we're always getting news about this family from this reality show on Netflix, like more so than the housewives of Beverly Hills. Like Kyle's never been like super transparent or forthcoming on housewives.

I feel like she's gotten really far just kind of coasting and always like being a little bit of a podster. And I feel like we got that footage of the girls finding out that the parents were separating on the Netflix show. It's like they're giving a lot of the stuff to Netflix. I feel like I would because that show is more their show than Beverly Hills. It's like kind of their, I've actually never watched and it is about the agency, but I think their family has more of a stake in that show. And I think that show was actually really successful

for Netflix. And, you know, being one of the last remaining OG housewives has to be like a bit of a pit for Kyle. Like they're really all sort of dropped like flies

except for Teresa, who is, Kyle's not Teresa. No. And so you can only get away so long by being like low-key uninteresting like to the to the

plot line that was sort of like Kyle's kind of brilliant actually when you think about her career as a housewife she's never really up until this season with everything going on in her divorce she's never had like a crazy embarrassing crazy like bled out moment she's just like always been really relevant and I think that's what Lisa Vanderpump was saying you know towards the end but for Kyle I think those embarrassing bled out moments are the ones with her sisters and her oh actually I'm sorry she bled out the first season and then never again you're right yeah she was like fuck this yeah no she actually I'm sorry you're completely right I take back everything I said she created that she put that franchise on her back for 30 seconds destroyed her entire family for it and you know know what? She's been rewarded ever since.

Yeah. And then even more recently with Kathy and then her relationship with Kathy suffered. And now it's coming to a head with her marriage. I watched a little more last night. I'm going to keep watching Beverly Hills, see what's going on. But it is weird. But I toggle between two feelings of like, yes, Kyle is not being completely honest, even just in the fact that she's now sober, she's working out all the time.

And to me, watching her, like she seems like a different person, not because of those things, just her personality, the way she speaks. And Sutton's like, be honest. What's going on? Be honest. And because Sutton feels like if I'm your friend, like tell me what's going on with you. But if you're my friend, you don't ask me like that and you don't ask me on camera especially if you think it's because like

there's something going on with Mauricio so it's such a hard line to walk but I feel like Dorit walks that line perfectly she's really good friends with Kyle she clearly you know knows too but she would never say something like that yeah and that's what the women of Beverly Hills have always done almost to a point where it's annoying for the viewers. They really do protect one another. Yeah. Especially when there was that core five,

what do they call themselves, the foxy five or whatever, like Dorit, Lisa, Erica, Kyle, and Teddy. They like had this sort of pact that they wouldn't turn on one another and they would make the show good, but not at the expense of anyone's families or personal whatever.

And so Kyle, I think, is sort of expecting that from Sutton and not getting that. Yeah, but I also feel like she gets it from Dorit for sure because they're true friends and their husbands are friends I feel like Erica's now just like as long as it's not me yeah you know Erica's I think was like hardened by her experience going through it and how nobody really stood up for her and she's like fuck these women like whatever and now that Lisa Rinna's gone like the one true friend that she had like I don't think she gives a fuck yeah yeah but I'm really I'm enjoying Erica this season oh good yeah

she's like it's been a lot for her she reminds me of Lala yeah and we'll get to that I have a lot of thoughts on Lala me too my absolute queen I kind of. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Which is actually big news. There is a new show coming out from Discovery ID called Quiet on Set, the dark side of kids TV. And Drake Bell is speaking out and he is sharing that he was sexually assaulted by his Nickelodeon dialogue coach. So for the first time, Drake Bell, the one-time star of Nickelodeon's Drake and Josh,

has spoken publicly about being repeatedly molested by dialogue coach Brian Peck when he was a child. The announcement comes as part of Drake's appearance in ID's upcoming four-part docuseries, which uncovers the toxic and dangerous culture behind some of the most iconic children's shows of the late 1990s and early 2000s, many of which were produced by Dan Schneider how unfortunate that this guy's last name is I know because throughout the whole story it's like he slept at Peck's house and I had to

go back to be like Peck it's Brian Peck no relation to Josh Peck who was on who was on the show yeah beyond unfortunate I think for just confusion purposes um I feel like if you've been paying attention this is not shocking at all like you know Drake was a like it's it's a cycle sexual assault so he ended up a perpetrator most likely because he was a victim I think we all probably could have guessed that based on what we know about the show and it's so crazy how like all these years so many um things have been said and people just wondering about Dan Schneider and like this four-part docu-series comes out and there's you know allegations of sexual assault and they're still not even getting to Dan Schneider yeah but also what's crazy about this story and maybe there will be something about Dan Schneider in the docu-series but in this story when Drake finally goes to like tell someone he tells Dan Schneider

and I and it doesn't seem it seems like that was like nothing nefarious came from that but can you imagine no oh my god I just got like chills I didn't know that and so Brian Peck was his dialogue coach and like worked really closely with Drake Bell like as he was now you know grooming him and then eventually like became his manager and Drake Bell's dad tried to speak out and be like this is fucking weird and he was like ostracized by the show oh my and so he backed off but it's just a really sickening story and it's like when you read it how he was groomed and then was constantly with this guy because he gave him his manager he was like would sleep at his house because auditions were so far away it just sounds like a textbook child abuse like pedophilia in

Hollywood and it's disgusting and that's the thing and that's really what I learned with Jeanette McCurdy's book is like when it comes to specifically like the Nickelodeon era but just like child actors and like a child entertainers in general so much of how they end up has to do with their parents and so like with Jeanette McCurdy like the reason she got so fucked was because her mom was so unstable and was really sort of you know living vicariously through Jeanette because all she had ever wanted to be when she was younger was an actress and so to do that through her daughter was so tough like it really um it just depends because then I then I read Josh's book and his you know mom it had nothing to do with his career Josh wanted it so badly he was the one who won a tag and his mother was fiercely protective of him so it really is so sad how not only did like the network and

the people who were supposed to be taking care of Drake you know fail him but a lot of times with child stars like their parents fail them as well right because here it says that he started acting at the age of five in the middle of his parents divorce and I feel like a predator sees that yeah he's a vulnerable child whose parents are maybe distracted. Yep. And preys on that. Yep. And that's like, I keep comparing it to Jeanette's book because I think she explains so well like how she was sort of the perfect storm.

Like no one was looking after her. She had, you know, grew up in a house that, you know, also money plays like a huge circumstance when you start to become an earner, you know know and your parents start relying on you for like just the basic necessities how that becomes so toxic because you know your well-being sort of gets put on the back burner because like we have to pay the visa bill this month and that happened with Jeanette she became like a primary earner in her family and her family was very poor and she had a lot of siblings in the house she said she grew up in like a hoarder house like they were

just like news they slept in the living room because the bedrooms were full of old newspapers. Like really crazy. Wow. Yeah. So you're right. Like the at-home circumstances often play a big role and I'm sure like who a predator chooses to prey upon.

Yeah. Also, I feel like the children's entertainment industry like hasn't had the veil lifted off of it yet. No. Where's their me too moment? There hasn't had the veil lifted off of it yet no where's their me too moment there hasn't really been one I mean Dan Schneider stepped down gracefully in 2018 like and he's still working like he has like a production company like he works in with Paramount in like a very sort of um backdoor way but you know I think a lot of the people who were working then still work now and even if they are not necessarily pedophiles themselves,

if they ate in a bed and they turn the other way, there needs to be a purge. And I hope that this is the beginning of something. And what's so interesting is I think when we were younger, it was very much like Disney versus Nickelodeon, Disney versus Nickelodeon. And now when we talk about that time, I think the Disney kids, if they ever really have anything negative to say,

it's more so about the fact that they were like a little overworked and just like sort of treated like adults very quickly. They all grew up really fast. But there's really not a ton of like nefarious. I don't know of many allegations being made that they were you know abused sexually or whatever um but with Nickelodeon it's just like it's everyone yeah well a lot of the Nickelodeon shows are Dan Snyder shows right like Amanda show all that Zoey 101 Drake and Josh right and actually the thing not to make a joke but like it really kind of comes back to Kenny Ortega. It comes back to Kenny Ortega. And he was the man of the time. He was like the equivalent of the Dan Schneider who was in charge.

And for all I know, he was incredible. And everybody still to this day is amazing. Everybody, you know, loves, loves, loves him. Yeah. So it starts at the top. Yeah. So I'm sure more news will come out from this series that should be watched

yeah are you ready for our next story what number three yes a little news that i love because hoda cotby is planning her third date with a mystery man that was introduced to her by jenna bush hager oh no i love that so cute so she told entertainment tonight that she has her third date coming up with the mystery man that was introduced to her by her co-host Jenna Bush Hager oh that's cute Hoda confirmed that Jenna did indeed play matchmaker but she clarified that Jenna doesn't really know well the love interest just he's a friend that's fine friend of a friend she said Jenna is a great picker she goes look I just want you to know, I don't really know him. A friend of mine knows a friend. Nonetheless, she shared that she had a great time and she loved her second date with him.

Stop. That's like, first of all, the best way to meet someone. A setup. A mutual setup. Friend of a friend. I don't know him that well, but he has like a, you know, seal of approval from this person that I know. It's also great when it's not like I'm really close with both of these people because likely,

you know, just odds. It's not going to be a great love match. And then that's a weird. Then at every brisk, bar mitzvah wedding, you got to see this guy you went on a date with once. So it's good like you have accountability, a friend of a friend. We run in the same circles. But a degree of separation. But, you know, we're not going to run into you all the time if it doesn't work out.

This is so cute. This is so like us coded if one of us is single in 20 years, you know, like obsessed. Obsessed. So cute. So cute. I just want to quickly sort of estimate, guess, like what do we think this guy does if he's like a friendly-ish of the Hagers, you know? And who is Hager, by the way?

Who is her husband? Nothing Google can't let us know. Yeah, I've never really looked into him. Like, who married the former first daughter? I know that the other one is Lauren Lauren. Yeah. Right? Lauren Lauren.

Yeah, she married Ralph Lauren's son, David Lauren, so her name is Lauren Lauren. Henry Chase Hager. Who was Jenna Bush Hager's husband thank you people magazine oh my god they met while he was working on her dad's presidential campaign they met while he was working for the campaign it said they met during the campaign but he could have just been a fan we just said the same thing oh no while working on her dad's i didn't see what do you think he came to a rally like a supporter he was working for president george h no not h sorry w bush they hit it off right away um jenna asked him to marry her after dating for just three months he turned her down which led to a humiliating humiliating valentine's day incident jenna has previously

recounted this on the show um how do you feel about that he then did propose in 2007 so i feel good about it let me ask you where is your video still recording because i heard a noise yeah okay good i i thought i heard what oh my god my heart fucking stopped i thought i heard what sounded like and recording. Love, I like the beep boop. Yeah. Yeah, no, we're good. We're good.

Okay, good. Sorry. Oh my God, she's trying to attack me. By the way, her husband is mad cute and like no cap, no cap. He looks like George W. Bush. Oh, I got to go look now. What was his name? Henry Hager.

Strong name. Do you think that like they double date with... Lauren and Lauren, i feel like are so i feel like we're always talking about jenna bush hager of course because she's every day giving us tea but the other one like what is she up to lauren bush and you know they're twins yes oh by the way they look literally nothing alike david lauren yeah she's super pretty she used to be a model They look literally nothing alike. David Lauren. Yeah. She's super pretty.

She used to be a model. She's so Ralph Lauren. Oh, where did they get married? I love going on random rabbit holes, like of things that were like popular before I was sort of socially conscious. Oh, my God. Obsessed. Okay. So they got, they had like a Western-y vibe wedding.

Where? And I'll tell you but the vogue article is how the west was wed that's cute where um over labor day of course at his family's 17 000 acre double rl ranch in ridgeway colorado of course that's definitely that's a holiday weekend wedding, you know? Oh, 1,000%. Where are the pictures? Like, give me one picture.

You're kidding. Oh, no, there's a slideshow. Ugh, I hate a slideshow. Oh, she, okay, wait. She, first of all, the wedding was literally in a field. Okay, wait, I'm on my way. This is Vogue? Yeah, yeah.

She, you know, comes to the aisle in a horse and buggy. Oh, it's so gorgeous it's so all-american he is so his dad oh he's jewish right okay western union yes yes cute and the picture looks like it's from the 1920s because it's like yes keep keep sliding in that slideshow my ipad's frozen me ipad grandma grandma the ipad wow this was a great sort of rabbit hole i just went down i really enjoyed my time here thank you google great and thanks to you know this story for bringing us there wait jackie they don't want me to read it yeah jackie hold on lauren bush on, it says her parents are Neil Bush and Sharon Bush. Who the fuck is that? And her siblings are Ashley Bush and Pierce Bush?

Wait, is she Jed Bush? Wait. No. She's not. She's not. Jenna Bush twin. Jenna Bush Hager's sister. Oh, that's why we're never talking about her.

We're always talking about Jenna Bushna bush barbara is her twin yes yes yes siblings lauren who the by the way is gorgeous no her dad's name is neil jeff oh her dad's name is lauren bush her dad's Who the fuck is Lauren Bush? Her dad's name is Neil. Do you know who that is? No, no, no. It's just resonating. Yeah, Barbara and Jenna are sisters. Okay, wait.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Start over. Who is Lauren Bush? Now I just need to know. Who is she?

The daughter of Neil and she? Neil and Sharon. So who's Neil Bush? No, I have no idea. Neil. I'm on Neil Bush. He is the fourth of. Brother. Okay.

He's George H.W.'s son. He's not irrelevant ugly. No, he's George W. Bush, the former president. Brother. And so Lauren is Jenna's cousin. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, great, great. We're not so far off.

He's a businessman. Yeah. Oh, so Jeb is one of his brothers, George is one of his brothers, and George H.W. is their dad. They have six children. Wow, it really is sort of like a dynasty. Yeah.

There's a lot of Bushes. A lot of Bush. It's a bushy, bushy beast. Bushy bunch. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Which is for me and me only to have to process, and my other Little Mix stans,

because former Little Mix singer, Perry Edwards' debut solo album has been announced. And as if she didn't want to hurt us enough, she's calling it. And it feels targeted. Big mix. Forget about us. Oh, wow.

She's not even trying to be subtle. Maybe it's about a boyfriend and forget it like maybe it's about you know a boyfriend and forget it but it's probably about her telling me that I should forget about little mix and give up on the idea that there are other get back together I actually don't think that it's about that but I could see how one would feel that way so her first single is called forget about us I'm sorry her first solo single so emphasis on the solo and us is a plural and little mix wasn't us if it if the us was representative of little mix it would be like that all you know we would know i feel it would come on the heels of all the girls be really being on the outs they're all incredibly close

and support except for that one but they're all really supportive of each other leanne had a solo career they all hyped it up like they're very supportive. I think their babies hang out. I feel like between the three of them, not the four of them, but the three core members, I feel like there's no bad blood. If anything, they look back on that time so fondly and they really do believe.

I think of all the bands that have gone on hiatus, Little Mix, Fifth Harmony, One Direction, the ones we have the best chance of seeing together one day again are Little Mix. Okay, great. Now, here's the good news about the forthcoming album and single, which is being described as a kind of Kelly Clarkson meets Katy Perry vibe. Ooh.

Put me in, coach. Yeah. The first single was reportedly co-written by Ed Sheeran. He is allegedly on the album. So is Ray, R-A-Y-E. Okay. he is allegedly on the album so is ray r-a-y-e like big on the album i think like so much so i think there was a collab post for her announcement i would have liked to i would like to see some of the little mix swirlies on the album just of course but this is good and bad news because obviously it's going to be of the little mix vibe which i love good music for me

but i i need my girls. Especially as I've been working out, I listen to so much Little Mix. So do I. And it cuts deep. What do you think are the best Little Mix songs to work out to if you need hardcore beats? And why is it Heartbreak Anthem? Well, of course, Heartbreak Anthem, David Guetta, Little Mix.

But also, like, Don't Sleep On, and it sleep on, and it's called, and it's called, and it's called Black Magic. I personally, so that song is like sonically and chemically a perfect song. Yep. I've listened to it too much and I've nullified the effect. All the girls on the block looking at my door.

So good. Don't sleep on Salute. Like if you need to power up, ladies all across the world, listen up up we're looking for recruits like not that i celebrate international women's day in earnest but if i did like that's the song agreed power power just treat yourself to a little mix listening party today everyone you don't even have to work out like no yeah but it's gonna make you want to work out because that's how inspiring these women are i mean you don't have to tell me about songs that make you want to work out brokenhearted

have you even been listening to that of course i have like a workout playlist that has like 11 songs on it seriously because like they're just like a good 11 songs. I know but don't you find. It's a lot of Sagala. Don't you find that if once you hit a point with them where they don't do for you. I'll rotate them out. They don't do for you what they once did. I will rotate them out. But currently like it's a lot of Sagala

and if like if there's one song that I have to listen to first like let's say I'm not feeling it and I just need one song to seriously change me 100%. It is Favorite Kind of High by Kelly Clarkson, the David Guetta remix. You guys, it is the most pussy popping song on the planet. It is so good. What was I saying?

Oh, but Brokenhearted is a mainstay on that playlist. Got it. Yeah, now I'll like make a perfect working out playlist. I listen to it too much and it doesn't have that power over me anymore. But then a few years later, I'll go back to it. And I'm like, hell yeah. I love that. go back to it and I'm like I love that hell yeah I love that yeah that's where I'm at right now I'm on my I'm on my few years ago playlist

of that I'll share them to my Instagram at Jackie Jackie's kind of amazing I make it like a playlist curating you in another life like you could have been a DJ like a radio a DJ for the radio not at the party like I don't have the stamina a lot of lights a lot of convo I just want to say I do feel like I could see a world in which you get like a second job like for a local radio station that like you know needs a couple of hours you're a professional talker you're really into music like honestly I feel like maybe you should sign like see if there's anything out there in your community totally but also like new answer to my dream job question radio DJ radio like Elvis Duran where I talk and curate music yep yep yep yep my skill set and maybe I could hire like a smaller DJ that could make mashups for me yes and. And we can have like our mashup hour.

By the way, I had said earlier in the week, Jackie was talking about Ariana Grande's new song, how you really feel like at one point in the song, Robin is going to start singing, dancing on my own. Correct. And then a TikToker felt the same way. And that made me feel seen. And he also posted it to Reels.

So I felt extra seen. So I'll play it for you guys. Jackie, her mashup dreams came true. Ready? It's really good. Shout out to Adam Music underscore on TikTok. I needok check out his other stuff you do are you ready for our fifth and final story that's actually going to lead into our tv recap so let's do it all at once the fifth and final story that's going to lead into the tv recap is brought to you by kiwi co the kiwi co panda crate is a bi-monthly subscription for babies aged 0 to 24 months

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with code TOAST at KiwiCo.com slash Panda. That's 20% off your first month at K-I-W-I-C-O.com slash Panda. Promo code TOAST. Today's episode is also brought to you by Sonos. Ooh, this is exciting. The new Move 2 from Sonos is a powerful and portable smart speaker for listening all around your home and beyond. It connects to your wifi at home or Bluetooth for listening on the go. You can stream music, podcasts, and audio books, all from your favorite services. Move 2 tunes itself like magic, so it sounds great whether you're listening inside or outdoors. And don't worry about the elements, this powerful and durable speaker, whether sun, splashes, sand, and accidental drops of these.

So I feel like Jackie can really speak to the durability of Sonos, whereas I live in an apartment. I have three Move 2, one in the living room, one in the bedroom, and one in the second bedroom. I've never had Sonos before. Let me tell you how elite it is. I put it on every day when I come home and I work and I just like walk throughout the house and you would never know where the speaker is. It's literally magic. I don't know how they do it,

but it sounds like it's all around me. Like I have built in Sonos into my walls, which you actually do. Which I actually do, but I also use my Move 2 for outside. And what I also like about it, it's like when you're close to the speaker, it's not like you feel like you need to turn it down.

And when you're far away, you need to turn it down and when you're far away you need to turn it up right because we're always moving it's very universal for everywhere that can hear the music it's such a pleasure the sound is so good crisp and I just love having music on all the time as like a soundtrack to my life I think it just makes everything like more enjoyable and yeah fun especially with kids. And it's not ugly. I feel like some of these speakers are so bulky and heinous. It's giving like future. It's giving like crisp.

Yeah. So visit Sonos.com to learn more. You'll love it. You won't regret it. And I feel like move two is a gateway drug because I got a few move twos and now I have for my TV that I haven't set up yet. Like I have a whole sound system system I just like now trust Sonos really yeah my sound bar for my living room TV is a Sonos my I have Sonos speakers in my that's the only piece of technology I'll allow in my house with me Sonos oh my god she's no because we were saying like is it which one would you want Sonos oh oh right right right our fifth and final story Vanderpump Rules was on last night. They dropped the mid-season trailer at the end of the episode.

Tom Sandoval is accusing Ariana of trash-talking all of her castmates in the mid-season trailer. Yes. We see them finally in the same room together for probably a finale party. It's hosted by Kyle Chan, the jeweler. And that's the one that Tom Sandoval, like a fan, sort of crashes and physically attacks Tom

Sandoval do you remember when that happened in real life and all that people got it on like their Instagram stories I never saw that yes oh wow so I it's like a culmination of on the season but I remember it when it happened in real life that's insane like how insane do you have to be to go and physically attack someone that you don't know whose actions did not affect you whatsoever. So let's talk about Vanderpump Rules. I caught up on three episodes last night and I just so much preferred it that way. Now, let me tell you,

I'm going so soft on Sheena Marie Shea these days. Let me tell you how funny she, like I just kind of- Okay, sorry. I didn't know that's how the term is being used. I thought you meant, now, like I thought you meant you were going against her. No, okay, sorry. I didn't know that's how the term is being used. I thought you meant now, like I thought you meant you were going against her. No, no, no. I've never been like a big Sheena stan or apologist.

I feel like I've actually been really hard on her. Mostly because I think like on a personality level, Sheena and I are probably as different as two people could be. Like we're just not the same. But I'm really starting to see her in a new light. I don't know. I so respect her as a mom. I think she's an amazing mom. I love her marriage. I think so many people tried to clown on it. But at the end of the day, like it really appears like they have a true partnership. And I just started to love her. And these episodes in Tahoe, let me tell you, I thought she was so funny when

they were just like arguing, not in a way that made me worry about their relationship, but just sort of like bickering when he was like putting his underwear on the floor like funny like I was just so I went into the episode like already feeling sympathy for Sheena and maybe it's because last week you recapped Sheena's relationship with Tom Sandoval on the PayPal thing and you made me see her maybe I don't know what it was but I think I went in with like an advantage on Sheena yeah but you've already been you've been loving Sheena and her motherhood journey and her honesty. So. She's,

yeah, she used to, she's been honest and now it's always like hindsight is 20, 20, but when she was sitting and talking about how at the upfronts, you know, Tom Sandoval was the only one including her pictures. And Katie was basically just like,

get over it. It's so easy for Katie to say, cause Katie was the bully then, you know, and she doesn't have those memories. I'm sure those first few years having to work in those types of situations with those girls who hated you like was horrible for Sheena and Sheena's one of those people who's probably never gotten over it and so I understand her having a hard time and I know everyone's like Sheena making it about herself

and like she is she is but I thought her reasonings were completely valid, the upfront story, the PayPal story. And she waited five months to make it about herself, I feel. Yeah. And, you know, I totally see her being one of those people who really gets bogged down with like what the fans say about her. Because, you know, I actually follow her on Twitter and she is always responding to haters. Like she's not one of these cool, like Lala, I feel like just lets it roll off. I feel like Sheena it really gets to her personally so I had so much respect for Lala literally just calling Ariana out and actually Ariana did end up saying something and I remember in real time when that photo came out we were like oh my god

Sheena and Tom and then Ariana saying something actually changed the conversation like it meant a lot so so much respect to Lala who I haven't been like obsessed with in recent years so much respect to her for being like you're not gonna help your friend out like I feel like Ariana just sort of like put her blinders on and like let everybody else do her work for her and then didn't you know know the consequences yeah and didn't keep her eyes open to see how things might be affecting them and she is the queen of the cast right now. And she can step in to help someone. And it is Ariana fans who are coming after Sheena.

Like those are your stance. I agree. I like that Lala had that idea and said it to Sheena. And I also like that she said the exact same thing to Ariana's face in a way that wasn't offensive. Yep. I am going back and forth because when Sheena and Lala talk about

having grace for Sandoval and all of that, like I hear it and I see it and I'm like, yeah, yeah, he deserves to be, this is a person to be treated like a human being because he's a human being. I do not like him on any personal level, but he's a human being and he should be treated as such because he is going to be in these rooms with us because we are coworkers. So I I've really been feeling that. And I feel like when Sheena was going through her emotional struggle in Tahoe, like I felt that alongside her and I felt, and I thought it was genuine pulled in both directions. And then when Katie was like, get over it. Like he's an actual demon. Like you shouldn't have such a hard time moving on from this person.

And Ariana's like, anyone who has any relationship with him, I don't want them in my life. Like, I feel that too. Because that's kind of how I know I would be if I were in this situation. But that's how you would be if you were Ariana. I think Katie's coming at it from a place that I find confusing. I know she really, really, really dislikes Sandoval. Like I get it, but she's kind of more aggressive

and more offended than Ariana is. Yeah, I actually think Lala's POV might be the most neutral because she doesn't like Sandoval. She has no relationship with him that she wants to salvage, but she's trying to like move forward, move forward. And the thing is we have to move forward because we're on a show together. And if this were real life, you can make those rules and say, if you talk to my ex,

I don't want a friendship with you. But two things, one, like they were friends just as long as the other two, but still you should see their character and not want to be friends with them. But also like, we're all going to be forced to be in the same rooms together. We're all going to have to move on from this because we are co-workers so it's not apples to apples of like what I would do if I were in this situation if I were in this situation I would remove myself completely from anything having to do with this

person and yes some of my friends still wanted to be friends with the person goodbye but it's not like it would be affecting our jobs so like it's very clear that Ariana and Katie, when this first happened, like their goal was to get Tom off the show. And if nobody agrees to film with you, even Tom Schwartz, then you really can't be on the show. There's no point. But slowly he's getting his way back in.

And to be honest, them being so not flexible in their thinking is gonna really, I think, end up hurting them. Because, you know, they're on this trip and then they keep cutting back to, you know, Ariana and Katy in LA having interviews. Who cares? Like, it's almost hurting them in a sense

because they're being so inflexible. When everybody was on their side and everybody agreed, but then slowly, you know, you have to get realistic. And everybody's just sort of in the middle now, except for them. Yeah, and right now I think it's fine. Like, people are glad they're sticking to their guns but it can't go on forever like this like we have to reach some sort of place where everyone can film together and be on cast trips like for the job because this is a job and I also feel like for Lala I understood what she

was saying I don't know why Katie just like jumped down her throat because Lala that was crazy said the same thing about Randall like if you're friends with this person yeah don't be friends with me but like one Randall was a person that none of them knew it's just Lala's ex like it's not like you have 10 years of history of friendship with this person who's done anything for you it's not the same and Randall's not a cast member it's not like they're forced to be around Randall all the time and work through these issues. It's not the same. And when Randall cheated on Lala, it's not like she had this like big global moment

that helped like push her forward and propel her career. No, instead like she has a child and this person is like wielding her child against her and making her life. It's so not the same. It's so not the same. And I know Lala was about to say like my situation was so much worse and so much harder and she's right yeah no but nobody wants to say anything that's gonna make

them look jealous of Ariana because like even just sort of like saying that her getting all this money and all these opportunities it definitely healed her I'm sorry like that's exciting and to have gone through a breakup most people go through a breakup and get nothing they literally get a box of their shit back Ariana got worldwide fame love, love, adoration, and money. Like that, sorry, it helps. It does. But nobody wants to bring that up because it makes them look jealous.

Because technically, you know, they're all technically in competition with one another. And I think, you know, you would say, oh, money can't heal a broken heart. But the thing is now we know what we know about their relationship. Like these weren't two people who were hopelessly in love. Like it sounds like she's been hating him for a while.

And I don't know why they stayed together. I just get like bothered with Ariana because when they like cut to clips of, you know, Sandoval's and Sheena's friendship. And then they showed a clip of Sheena being like trying to get Ariana years and years ago, trying to get Ariana to see like Tom's a bad guy it was like this dumb random fight I don't even remember what it was about she just like rode so hard for him even with Katie Katie was on to Tom for years nobody could tell Ariana shit so we've been trying to tell you for years about this person now you see it and we all have to see

it how you see it it's like it must be frustrating that the way she feels dictates everything what's so funny I was watching catching up on episodes the other night and I accidentally started playing an episode from last season and I didn't realize until I was like 10 minutes in that it was from last season because it was about like something about her and Ariana started talking about Lala had a conversation with me last night telling me that Tom like he didn't leave the party when he said he was gonna leave the party and my grandma had just died and he could have gotten a ride he didn't get a ride and he stayed Markel was there and Ariana's in her confessional being like I don't want to hear this like you bring this up to me like I don't want to know this because now I have to deal with this and she doesn't want to deal with it and it's like that's problematic and oh

no and it was years I wanted to make about the fight between Lala and Tom on the boat in Tahoe when Tom Sandoval is saying like Lala you hid your life for so many years and and Lala saying well you hid seven months of an affair so can you get off me about hiding my life I don't even care that he had seven months in a fair for so many years the two of them never had to talk about their relationship on the show and I think everyone behind the scenes knew that there were so many issues in Tom and Ariana's relationship and no one brought it up and they didn't bring it up

and they weren't honest and they kind of skidded over. Like you weren't honest about your relationship and now you cheated on her and you want all this sympathy because you're trying to say your relationship was bad, but like you lied. Right, and if you had shown that it was bad,

maybe people would understand where you're coming from more, but you hid it. You made us think like the greatest partnership ever yeah and so modern literally like we're not getting married we're a modern family right and if you were just more honest things would have seemed more natural in the way that they went down but no he hid his personal life just as much as Lala did if not more because their relationship was so much more central to the show now I agree I went back and

forth because like I really felt for Sheena and I felt like you know what like if she wants to have a relationship with Sandoval like so be it but then when Ariana was like and she's right and it flipped my mind she was like Sheena's sort of like the weakest link short Sheena's very emotional very forgiving very people-pleasing Tom knows that that's a way to weasel back into my life and just the the social circle in general So she was right about that. You know. I was flip-flopping. And that's so.

Yeah. Not how I usually watch things. Where I understood what Sheena and Lala were saying. But then I also. I know myself. And I would be as hard-lined as Ariana. Me too. But it just doesn't work in this context of.

Format. Doing a show. We have to all be around each other. And so we need to find a way to move forward. We don't have to be friends. But we just doesn't work in this context of doing a show. We have to all be around each other. And so we need to find a way to move forward. We don't have to be friends, but we have to move forward. Right. And then like the buying of the sunglasses, like things like that. We're not making Tom look good.

He's so cringe. And Joe, by the way, it was almost like him and Joe spoke before about how to like get these glasses on James. It was like also orchestrated and choreographed. She was like, James, like she's cringe. And she's cringe. But her and Tom Schwartz are a perfect couple they should get married and have children and be together for decades like why don't they agreed I just want to say like I love Brock I really just love him I love James too yes yes and I like like ally and you know who i like you know who i'm kind of loving lisa yeah she's been very pragmatic she's been very good oh my god when he was walked into the restaurant and been like oh she lisa didn't run by me that we changed the menu out here and in

her confessional lisa was like why would i run by a menu changed by somebody who owns two and a half percent of the business literally there's he's like he still times hand while it's so hard because it's like so self-important I so don't want to like be defending or advocate not defending but like advocating for you know uh his growth or just grace in any way but it's not about him it's just about the fact that like he is a person he's on this show and we have to move forward do you feel do you feel like any part of him whether it was him crying with Sheena or him crying with Lisa or any of the times he's been like vulnerable and emotional do you have you found any of it to be genuine the way that I feel is I don't know how it could not be because how are you not utterly devastated by what has happened?

But he's not me. Like I can't put myself in his shoes because I'm my personality, like I'm not him. But if I were, like how could he not be completely heartbroken over his friendships? Raquel, like his relationship relationship his relationship with Ariana the way that the world just turned on him and hates him so much like how could that not bring you to tears no and I actually thought that him explaining to Brock finally like what you guys saw me doing my show is like Schwartzy's mom, Raquel.

Like I know that made me look like the villain and him just sort of explaining that he literally had no choice but to go out and do these shows. He needed the money. Like I actually appreciated that sort of perspective because his behavior post-scandival was so insane and really made everybody like see him through this lens of like being a narcissist and being really manipulative. Him explaining like needing the money like I appreciated that POV me too and I just want to talk about money for a second because I'm now confused because Ariana talks about she had two thousand dollars in her

bank account before Scandaval um because she put a lot of money into her house and then into something about her Tom Sandoval I he's the only one who seems to have like unlimited money, but we actually see he spends a lot of money all the time, but he still has more to like give away to friends. Even Sheena having lost her podcast, which yeah, that can be really hard, but they're making hundreds of thousands of dollars an episode per season. Sheena, Tom Sandoval and Katie Maloney make the most because they've been on the longest.

Yes, Sheena, Tom and Ariana., and Katie Maloney make the most because they've been on the longest. Yes. Sheena, Tom, and Ariana. I don't know how much they make. Katie, not Ariana because she came on later. Katie, yes. I think they make somewhere between, I wouldn't say a couple hundred thousand. I would say.

Between 500,000 and a million. Per episode? Per season. So I think about it per episode and I would say they, they make between 50 and a hundred per episode. Agreed. And I don't think they're all that far off from each other, except for like Brock and Ali,

maybe James, even where's all the money going. They're making a lot of money for people, their age. I don't see that. Yes. Like they don't live crazy. They don't live crazy.

Aran and Tom bought a house that seems to be within their means for the amount of money that they're making. And they were famous for, all of them, for many, many, many years before they all bought homes. Like, they all bought homes around the same time and they had been famous for so long by then.

Years of brand deals and sponsorships. Apartments, yep. Books. Where has their money gone? Yeah. Because it's not like they're even the flashiest cast. No, not at all. They're all kind of like tacky.

Yeah. It's not like Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Right. Nobody has like crazy bags. Yeah. Or they'll have like a couple of nice bags, which is congruous with the amount of money that they make. But where is the money?

They make a lot of money. Yeah. I mean, now post-Scandival, I think all of the, like Sheena's podcast is now like considered a success. Lala's podcast is considered a success. It really, it sort of raises stakes for everyone. For sure, but I don't even think their podcast

may close to what, like, think of what their podcast must make in an episode compared to what they make in an episode on the show. Yes, also. But podcast is year round. It does sort of go without saying that the show prior to Scandival was on its last leg. I remember they really were struggling. Charlie, they didn't know how to do old people, new people. They couldn't figure it

out. And Tom really gave the show at least, you know, a guaranteed popularity for three seasons, I would say, at least. Maybe more. And then those other revenue streams, like the podcast, Lala said she bought a house with she put a down payment with the merch that she made send it to Daryl

like there is value in that yeah they really should all be thanking him and then of course Ariana Duracell

dancing with the stars she's on Broadway now she was on Watch What Happens Last Night with John Oliver I watched like I would say half Live last night with John Oliver. I watched like I would say half of it.

I found John Oliver. Like his enthusiasm was actually endearing. Like and how much he knew about Bravo. I just like something about his voice. I needed to seriously punch him in the face. Like stop talking. His enthusiasm was sweet. And I love when someone comes on and like knows everything.

And like really gets it. Doesn't think they're too cool. Love that. It was actually too much. Like it was too much. Okay. Fair. And Ariana just sort of like sat there giggling while he was like being insane like i don't know it was just the episode was pissing me off i had to turn it off that's really funny uh i watched it too and it seems like ariana's like not pleased with what's happening this season that she's watching and yep that's that's her next season. You know what I was getting from Ariana this episode? And it's just ironic because Ariana is actually the one who introduced me to this phrase.

You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain. And it's like, it's crazy because she's not really done anything wrong other than like hold her own. Be successful and be successful. And just make her feelings known like you can't be friends with this person but like she can't continue with that and be on the show it just doesn't work yep and what the fuck is going on with their sandwich place they can't get a license because in real time no in real time now they're like at the same

place that they were when they shot this scene. I heard there's something they can't get a license for that's holding everything up. Bureaucracy. Well, it kind of makes them look... Like Schwartz and Sandy. Yeah, no, I mean, and it makes Schwartz and Sandy's look good

because everybody was clowning on them. They said next month and now it's two months. Like, it's hard to open a restaurant. Like, it's expensive. It's zoning. It's permits. It's expensive it's zoning it's permits it's red tape and they just sort of Tom and Ariana made so much I mean Ariana and Katie made so much fun of Schwartz and Sandy's we all did and now they're taking just as long if not longer and it's a much

smaller space it's not they don't need a full liquor license I don't they said they might be serving wine but they don't like liquor license is what really takes forever. I don't know why they wouldn't just open without liquor. Yeah, no, liquor wouldn't be the thing holding them up. Because they would do that. No, because people have been outside and they had pretty much been like, they looked like they were ready to open.

And now the entire front of the building has been completely wiped. That porch, that yellow and white umbrella, the signage, everything's gone. Really? Yes. Signage is so they're taking away. Yes.

And they're missing the momentum. Oh, the momentum's gone. If they had opened like right now while the season was airing, it'd be good. But it's not going to happen. And they're also not going to air now because the opening would need to be filmed if they're smart. So they're not filming right now.

Yeah. Yeah. So that's your Vanderpump Rules long overdue recap. And that was your show. Just an absolute pleasure to have done it with my favorite, My Reason to Tear.

My Reason to Tear. Tear turtle loom thank thank you guys so much for listening to the chelsea millennia morning show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every monday through friday newtube so if you're watching this on youtube please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up we're also available as a podcast anywhere podcast can be found so that's spotify to district public radio i already cast works all the places we have this in a podcast my house is totally five star view at a beautiful sunny and weakly talented we are love ya love ya bye