The Toast - General Randomness: Friday, May 19th, 2023
Episode Date: May 19, 2023Prince Harry and Meghan Demand Photo Agency Give Them Footage of ‘Chase’ (TMZ) (10:44) Miley Cyrus Details Meeting Boyfriend Maxi Morando on a Date That Was ‘Blind For Me and Not Reall...y For Him’ (People) (18:25) Jeff Bezos’ $500M Yacht Appears To Have Figurehead of Girlfriend Lauren Sanchez (Page Six) (25:03) Dixie D’Amelio Taken To Hospital in Ambulance After ‘Feeling Faint’ (Page Six) (32:06) Starbucks Is Changing the Type of Ice They Use in Drinks (People) (34:26) Dear Toasters (42:36) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Merch The Toast Patreon Girl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Good morning, Millennials! I'm malfunctioning. You're not on a high for the end of the week, the latter half?
I am, obviously.
I was thrilled. A Friday high?
I was thrilled to wake up
knowing, hearing the news
that it's Friday.
But you know,
it's not Saturday.
It's still a day at work.
Yeah.
But we have everything
ahead of us.
We've made the argument
that Friday's even better
than Saturday
because there's so much
to look forward to.
No, that's true.
I don't know what
was wrong with me.
Sorry.
Good morning, everyone. Hey, Jax. How you d't know what was wrong with me. Sorry. Good morning, everyone.
Hey, Jax.
How you durn?
I'm durn good.
I feel like this week, for me at least,
went by really quickly
and was a really enjoyable, productive week.
That's fabulous.
It was a productive week, too.
I do feel like it went by really quickly.
Yeah.
And that's always good.
Tis.
It's like Ferris Bueller once said,
life comes at you fast.
What's the end of that line?
Something about Lincoln.
You might miss it.
Yeah.
Classic Ferris.
Classic Ferris.
Not sure it's the quote for the day.
Oh, you don't think?
No.
Oh, you don't think it accurately represents what we're going to talk about here today?
The sentiment that we're sharing, which is like, it was a good productive week.
But life comes at you fast, Jax.
I guess this week came at me fast.
That's what Ferris was trying to say.
Got it.
Thank you for speaking on behalf of Ferris.
That's what I do.
We've got a great show today.
We have our long-awaited Deer Toaster segment.
You know, the week just, you know, got away from us.
It was nice to see how much people were craving it.
And for people to miss Deer Toasters and to question where is Deer Toasters.
And today is the perfect day for DT.
So far it's quiet.
Stories are light.
Like it's Deer Toasters day.
Agreed.
I've got some great submissions.
No updates this week because nobody gave us any.
Because everyone's doing well.
Right.
And it's summer.
You know we're approaching summer.
Summer.
Summer. We're approaching summer. Like people are busy living you know. Everyone's doing well. Right, and it's summer. You know, we're approaching summer. Summer. Summer.
We're approaching summer.
Like, people are busy living, you know?
Everyone's doing well.
I think that's great.
No update is, as much as I love to hear how people are doing, I take it as a good sign.
Well, today's kind of like a crazy day for me.
Like, almost a beginning of a new journey.
Which journey is that?
Let me tell you.
I bring my laptop to work every day. It is truly
the bane of my existence. It's so heavy. I like, I live pretty close to the studio, but I often take
a cab just because I can't carry this laptop. And I don't know why it took us so long to like,
think of the idea to get a laptop for the studio that basically just like lives here. And we got
it yesterday and we set it up yesterday. And today's my first day. I walked to work lighter
than air. Oh my God. I might as well have been floating through the streets like it was such a
quite literal weight lifted off my back it's crazy that we never thought of it yeah I feel like we
have thought of it for a while I was the one who used to bring my computer but I used to bring a
travel air so it wasn't that that crazy so I'm just if I look like lighter that's why okay you do look light I feel this
sort of like angelic weightless presence I would say that you embody an angelic weightless presence
thank you Jackie thank you Kevin that's enough do you like my shirt I do Luke Holmes merch you
know where I got it Amazon Amazon I was watching this program Amazon live with these two sisters
who were really so wonderful.
Yeah.
They just, they really made you feel like you were a part of their family.
That's so sweet.
And I was influenced to buy this t-shirt.
It says Lou Combs.
Oh, also speaking of sisters, I watched our episode of The Toast from yesterday when I got home.
I don't always do it, but I felt like yesterday's episode was worth re-watching.
Okay.
And my God,
like I did not shut the fuck up.
Like I was on,
I felt like I was on Adderall.
I just had like a lot to say.
About Scandival?
About Scandival,
but it also had just been
like a crazy busy day in general
and I was late,
so I felt like I had to like
take a dump verbally.
And my God,
I did not shut the fuck up.
Like I'm so sorry.
That's okay.
I actually listened to the episode,
not watch.
I listened to the Scandaval portion.
Because Zach was like.
What do you guys have to say about it?
I was like.
Why don't you just listen?
What if you just.
Put in your headphones.
And it's like.
Overall.
I don't know what we had to say about it.
You know.
Like what was our.
We didn't have like a takeaway.
Or like a.
Hot take per se.
But it was just content.
That needed to be broken down.
Broken down.
And highlighted. Yeah. Certain parts. Certain parts. I felt good. He agreed with you about. take per se but it was just content that needed to be broken down broken down and highlighted
certain parts certain parts he agreed with you about um the sheena conversation was really
powerful it was yeah he was like nodding along he should go back and watch old episodes like
when he has free time a banner pop yeah he's he's kept up through the years so when this happened
he knew exactly what was happening and weirdly this season before the news dropped he was watching this season every week already like he had caught the
first episode and was like oh this season's good and so we started watching it together and then
when scandal happened we were already on the same page of enjoying the season and now we've enjoyed
that's fabulous it's bringing people together it is yeah it really is. So we've got a great show today.
Stories are, what are the stories?
Tell me a little bit about their background.
I would say they're of the Friday variety.
We're, you know, closing the loop on a few stories, some follow-ups to other things that
we talked about throughout the week, and then just some general randomness.
To me, those make for the best episodes.
Yeah, I agree completely.
Like, there's so much pressure when there's, like, a big story we gotta break down.
But today's, like, a low pressure.
It's Friday.
Who cares what we're talking about?
And I think that feels great.
That feels right.
That definitely feels right.
Much like a Redheads rating.
Oh, I wanted to update everyone on a conversacion we had a, maybe, you know, with me.
Was it two weeks ago?
It was two to three weeks ago.
Or two to three months.
I feel like it was one week ago. Or two to three years. I really don't know. What was it? When we were talking about, you know with me was it two weeks ago it was two to three weeks ago or two to three months I feel like it was one week ago or two to three years I really don't know what was it when
we were talking about you know our teachers last week last week I did reconnect with Miss Scheinbein
I she heard our cries she commented on our Instagram and we had a lengthy conversation
I was sending her pictures of like Harry she was like asking how the kids were she's like
how's Olivia I sent Michaela and Levi um it was a really good catch-up she has like a ton of kids she's still a teacher she lives in israel
like it was great that's so great yeah closing the loop so that's a pro of the work that we do
in discussing our teachers and it comes with the cons the inevitable cons about other teachers
hearing things that you said about them that just make you want to die what the toast giveth the
toast take it the way yeah but you should share the positives yeah and you know what way the negatives we made a new toaster i guess she hadn't heard of the toast giveth, the toast taketh away. Yeah, but you should share the positives. Yeah, and you know what?
To outweigh the negatives.
We made a new toaster.
I guess she hadn't heard
of the toast over in Israel.
It's fine.
I'm not offended,
Ms. Scheinbein.
And she said she's been
listening to it on her commute
and she just loves it.
What would the toast
in Hebrew be called?
The lechem?
Lechem means bread,
not toast.
Lechem.
Chum.
Chum.
Warm bread.
Let's actually look it up. What does, how do you say toast in
Hebrew? Oh my God. Lechem chum. Lechem chum. I mean, I like that better. Oh, there is like a
full word. Harmat kosit. I don't like that. Lechem chum. Ha-lechem chum. That's beautiful.
Jackie, that's beautiful. Oh, well, I think we should get into everything.
I have really not much to catch up with you on.
People need us in your toasters and we've got to get there.
We've got to get there.
Yeah.
So with that, further.
So?
Do, do, do.
Here are the Fast Five Stories that you need to know.
And today's Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by State Farm.
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Today's episode
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And you're also sweeping up the remnants of what they left behind.
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and your man a favor by helping him upgrade his self-care yeah thank thank you Claudia. You're welcome. Okay our first story circling back to a
top story from yesterday. Harry and Meghan's car chase quote-unquote story is kind of unfurling.
Okay. Harry and Meghan first Harry and Meghan are demanding the photo agency give them footage of
the chase and the agency is firing back. So Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are trying to put the
squeeze on a photo agency that claimed their freelance paparazzi who followed the couple tuesday night were not
as megan and harry claimed highly aggressive and didn't cause a near collision as we stated right
they released a statement saying that their uh people and freelance photographers were not in
any way acting dangerously maybe nefarious is subjective is it nefarious to take someone's picture without them
wanting it you know me so they're saying they weren't they weren't acting near catastrophically
right so harry and megan's legal team fired off a letter to backgrid photo agency claiming in part
that they need the agency's footage of the chase to shore up their own security adding quote we
hereby demand that backgrid immediately provide us with copies of all photos, videos, and or films
taken last night by the freelance photographers after the couple left their event and over the next several hours.
Backred's lawyer has rejected their demand, saying in a letter, quote,
In America, as I'm sure you know, property belongs to the owner of it.
Not in America.
Third parties cannot just demand it be given to them, as perhaps kings can do.
Perhaps you should sit down with your client and advise them that his English rules of royal prerogative
to demand that the citizenry hand over their property to the crown were rejected by this country long ago.
We stand by our founding fathers.
Wow.
Okay.
I mean, they took liberty with that statement although they're not
wrong you can't just demand and it's not like they were asking for the footage for like a legal case
they just want it to tighten up and honestly yeah like it would be nice for back grid to hand it
over so that Megan and Harry can know what went wrong but by no means are they required to by law
at all no it would just be nice like yeah oh I need this can you help me yeah sure
but like to send a like a threatening legal letter is probably not the best way to get what you want
no and like demand there's no requirements and there's no like reason for them to demand like
have to give it over to them I also wonder why we haven't seen the footage since there's been so
much like you know they said they said and Megan and Harry are saying the paparazzi were acting in a dangerous way and and Backred is saying like no we weren't like why
not just show us what happened yeah I also just think it's a weird tactic because at the end of
the day like Megan and Harry are asking for something from Backred as like a favor they
really are not legally in any way required to hand this stuff over so to
send like a stern letter from a lawyer maybe they thought like intimidation might be helpful but
this is like a big company and and they have legal teams of their own I just don't know if that's the
best tactic to get what you want I also feel like if there were like a high speed chase in the city
with you know cars driving on sidewalks pedestrian footage there would be so much pedestrian footage
that's actually really true over the course of two hours but then a new york police source said that the
the ordeal from like when they left the zigfield ballroom to when they got home was like 20 minutes
oh the report said two hours their report that what we said yesterday i'm sure it's somewhere
in between yeah also when we were talking about it yesterday i totally forgot where zigfield ballroom
was and i just assumed that they were downtown because like everything's downtown it's on 54th and then the precinct that they were
at was 67th and then they were going a little more uptown so like no yeah there's no room for
a high like for a lot a long right that whole probably from Ziegfeld ballroom to where that
no no no no because 20 blocks is a mile depending on where they live I'd say maybe like one and a
half to two miles it's really not enough for a car chase and of course what knowing what we know
about the city you really can't physically create a car chase right without like garbage truck
running into a garbage truck a parked car a building a restaurant on the street like there's
really no way yeah it's just the weirdest story it's a weird story a lot of people are like poking
holes in it and you know saying that they think that it's been fabricated and exaggerated and it's a
bad look for the Sussexes I also don't know why they're continuing it like yeah they really
shouldn't have I don't know why they really want this footage to the point where they're going to
send a letter now it's like creating another wave of news and more people coming out saying this and
that like just so entitled like give us your footage yeah no it's not it's not a good look
and the um the liberties taken in this statement are quite funny i'm not gonna lie in america yeah
wow it's really just giving like revolutionary war vibes you know the brits versus the americans
who will win who will win but what about like they took all this footage why what are you going to
use it for no and by the way harry and i think doria or maybe one of their we're filming security
guards like i saw pictures of harry like with his phone sideways like he's filming a patreon video
filming so they have their own footage yeah also there was a source that said i don't know
which camp not harry megan's camp i don't know if it was like a police source or someone else.
I'm saying that actually their security was acting in a manner that was more unsafe.
Like they the way that they were trying to navigate the situation was causing more calamity.
Well, that's definitely a takeaway for me that whoever's in charge of security for Harry and Meghan like isn't doing a great job.
Because, again, taking them out of an armored vehicle and putting them in a yellow cab
is in the midst of what they said
it was a high-speed chase
is such a bad call.
So maybe that's why they want the footage
to like see what went wrong
but like they needed a new director
of security operations.
That's what I'm thinking.
A new DISO.
Yeah.
There is a video here of their cab.
Is that like a paparazzi footage
or bystander footage i think paparazzi
see this is so bad like they're this is so bad their windows are complete they're leaving like
they're they've left harry and megan so vulnerable in an untinted window imagine just sitting there
their flashbulbs are going off this is not tmz that they have this oh so like they're just sitting
ducks in this yellow cab no it's a terrible a terrible idea. Whoever put them in this car.
And that's actually like a security threat like that.
I understand them feeling unsafe.
Like that's such a dumb idea.
Yeah.
I wonder what that was going through the driver's mind at this time.
Like he stopped at a red light or whatever.
Well, he spoke on it.
No, I know.
But is he thinking like I'm going to be a star?
You know, he's probably just picks up and drops people off every day.
There's probably like a monotony to it.
And then one day a princess gets in his car.
It's probably nothing like picking up Kenan.
It's probably nothing like,
and you know who would never have put them in danger?
Kenan's Uber driver.
Yeah, Uber drivers.
Zuh.
But specifically like the one that I spoke to
who like really.
I thought you've had multiple.
I have, but like the first one,
like he spoke so highly
and that's why I've been on like alert for Kenan
every time somebody else brings him up. Got it. do you feel like I should tell that story like people know
what we're talking about I think they know okay also we have a patreon episode Claudia's favorite
stories yeah where since now like we cite the stories but we don't go into them because it's
been established so repetitive she's talked about them a number of times we have a patreon episode
where we went through a list of like maybe 20 stories that Claudia likes to cite.
And she tells the whole story.
The whole truth and nothing but the truth.
So help me God.
So help her.
It's a really good episode.
Patreon.com slash toast.
And also if you head over there you'll see my vlogs from the Eris tour.
From my trip to Dallas for the ACM Awards.
Like really kind of premium.
She's been like on a vlogging.
Premium filmmaking.
We're actually supposed to film a vlog today.
Yeah.
I hope that we do that.
I don't know if we'll do it
directly after this episode
but I'll come by later
to do it.
Sure.
It's going to be really cool.
I'm going shopping
in Claudia's closet
for maternity clothes.
And I've like really needed
to clean out my closet anyway
so like I'm really looking forward
to getting some of this
crap off my hands.
It's a win-win.
Yeah.
And then we can go shopping
to supplement.
To fill the holes.
To fill the holes.
Yeah.
Are you ready for our next story?
I am. Miley Cyrus has a boyfriend and she's detailing their meeting but they've been dating
for a long time and just never either of us realized. Okay. Miley Cyrus details meeting
boyfriend Max Miranda on a date that was blind for me and not really for him. So she is on the
cover of British Vogue and the singer-songwriter detailed the story
of how she met the fellow musician.
He is a drummer in the band Lily.
Unfamiliar.
Well, it's L-I-I-L-Y.
Liley?
L-I-I-L-Y.
Lily.
I think that's how it's pronounced.
She said we got put on a blind date.
She was first seen hanging out with him in November 2021 at the Gucci Love Parade fashion show in LA.
She said, well, it was blind for me and not really for him.
I thought the worst that can happen is I leave.
The publication noted that Miley received a call from Max Midway through their interview.
Her ringtone for him is Erykah Badu's Tyrone, on which she commented, I call that boyfriend's sexy ringtone.
Okay.
Radu's Tyrone on which she commented I call that boyfriend sexy ringtone okay one month after the fashion show the pair were photographed getting close backstage during her Miley's New Year's Eve
party as they held hands and danced to the music how do we miss all of this I don't know this is
like over a year and then in March 2023 they were at the Versace show together in LA which like we
just saw all that was popping was popping missed that again it's probably because like not to be
rude he's like a nobody.
But she's a major something. Yeah, yeah.
Every relationship she's been in in her whole career we've known about.
So true.
And it's not like she's been hiding from us.
No, she's been clearly very public.
Literally hears them in 2021.
Damn, they kind of look alike.
Maybe it's because like if I saw a picture of that, I would have thought it was one of
her siblings because she has so many and they all have long hair.
Or just like a friend.
And the picture itself like isn't giving.
Relationship love.
Romance.
It's kind of just like oh we're both dressed in Gucci for the show.
Well she wasn't on my list of singles but like I did think about her as like a single
person so I just need to readjust my mindset.
But now like that they have all this years of relationship under their belt and we're
just hearing about it now like I'm really happy for her.
Yeah like maybe she'll get married.
I can appropriately ship like knowing that this is real right there's you
know they have a track record it's been a long time history yeah that's nice you and me got a
whole lot of history oh we can be just like when is one direction gonna get back together like this
hiatus starting to think it's not a hiatus. But you don't love Harry Solo?
I do.
I do, by the way.
But I don't think I love Harry Solo.
Not greater than One Direction.
More than I ever loved One Direction.
And the music is just as good.
Like One Direction music, I'm sorry, I will literally,
this is like a point I will take to my death,
is some of the best music ever made.
Like the song we just sang is so good.
Midnight memories. best music ever made like the song we just sang is so good midnight memories like all their songs are good songs and i will fight anyone who disagrees with me and all of harry's music is
really i'm who's a wonderful musical restaurant you don't think harry's music is better i think
they're honestly equally as good i know that's like crazy to say because harry's is more critically
acclaimed i think a lot of people would consider Harry's is like more mature right artistic I agree with you they're
equally as good but I think that's a hot take is it I think One Direction's music is some of the
best music ever made and I just and I think actually as we age it gets better you would
think it's like teeny bopper music you know it's music we liked when we were six like
no it's fucking good it's not like the most deep shit but it's good
pop music like it makes you dance it makes you shake your ass it it's good yeah it's more than
that though yeah but i'm saying it's not like the most deep lyrics so there it's not surface lyrics
or it is it's a little surface lyrics it depends on the song yeah but then they tried to go deep
with little things and it's like stop talking about my cellulite to the kiddie pool yeah i'm not i'm not going to one direction for like introspective
lyrics that will make me rethink you know my identity but that doesn't that's not the only
thing that makes good music no i like the beat you know so i forget the point I was trying to make When I was I don't know how we got here
From Miley
You and me they have history
Oh okay yeah yeah yeah
Oh and it's not just a hiatus
Yeah
That was like a deep tangent
It happened so quickly
Yeah
It wasn't like a fluid train of thought
That we could trace back
No no
Because we broke out into song
We got off track We broke out into song. We got off track.
We broke out into song and just kind of disrupted the whole thing.
Right.
But that's really the story.
Like, she's on the cover of British Vogue.
She has a boyfriend named Max.
And they seem happy.
Maximilian.
That's his full name?
Maximilian. No, because his name is Max with two X's.
Max.
Max.
Of Italy.
Very cool.
He's obviously like a purveyor of language and linguistics.
No, and like this is so Miley.
Like he's artsy, never heard of him, but he exists.
And he's like in the scene and great.
Yeah, and like I don't really need her to have like a gangbusters, blockbuster relationship.
Because that was Liam.
And it was really good while we had it.
Knowing what we know now is like it had its problems, of course.
But she went through that era and she can settle down with a nobody.
And she gave us that, you know?
She gave a lot.
She gave us a lot.
And even after, like we got a lot of music years later.
Yeah.
So I don't feel like she owes us a public relationship, a high profile relationship.
Like she gave it to us.
Yeah.
I mean, I am still shipping like Hannah and Jake but like it's okay but not Miley and Jesse Cody
no Miley and Jesse the brunette what's her last boyfriend Cody no he oh oh I think I'm sorry I'm
talking about Hannah Montana like the characters oh yeah no I was who like which Hannah Montana
love interest like were you
well Jake Ryan was the one he was but he cheated on her remember no he didn't mean it at a party
and like Oliver got a picture on his flip phone it's Hannah and Miley and Jake like that's she
had Jesse and she had the others but it was he's OTP oh I really felt OTP was Jesse I mean she wrote
smooth talking he wrote he could be the one
Yeah I guess I meant like he wasn't
But I like if I was Hannah
But he came pretty close like considering he was so different from her
I just
Now that I never thought about this before but like the fact that
Jake Ryan like was the one for her like I actually don't
Agree I didn't like him
I just feel like he was the one I don't know why
No you're totally entitled to your opinions
Who did she end up with?
I think you're right.
Jake.
But Lily.
Right, right.
Like best friends forever.
Yeah.
We stan Jake.
No, Jesse.
That was confusing.
Not really.
Jake and Jesse?
Jake Ryan.
Let me say.
Jake Ryan.
Jake Ryan.
Yeah, he's a firsty lasty.
Yeah.
Are you ready for our next story?
Some more romantic news because jeff bezos has been on his 500 million dollar yacht with his girlfriend
lauren sanchez i saw and it appears that there is a bust of lauren yeah he had like a statue
created of her on the vessel yeah um and that's why it's 500 million i feel like it maybe would
have been 400 million. Without that.
The bust.
No, I mean, I can't even see a whole picture of the whole ship.
Yeah, there's like a zoomed in paparazzi drone photo.
No, but like here's the ship.
There's a helicopter.
It's so big.
And a helipad.
It's so big.
500 million dollars.
And so there's this statue.
And I guess it sort of looks like his girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez.
But is it?
No, I think a lot of people would consider this odd.
And it is.
But for me, I feel like immense relief because Jeff Bezos is clearly all in on Lauren Sanchez.
Like it's been years.
He has a bust.
And it's like his embarrassing text messages were leaked all those years ago.
And it wasn't for nothing.
Like, if anything, seeing this weird, you know, testament of his love in the shape of a statue made of marble makes it all worth it.
You know, we read those humiliating text messages that got leaked to National Enquirer by her brother, I think.
And it was humiliating.
And, you know, everybody mocked him endlessly.
And at least it was for true love.
Yeah.
They're going strong.
They are going strong.
And it's nice.
And it seems like they have a lot of fun.
They really enjoy their circumstances.
She's age appropriate, which I think a lot of the top 10 most rich men in the world
who end up divorcing their wives don't always go for the age appropriate girl.
So I think I have no choice but to stan, honestly. Okay happy for them she's not the obvious choice you know yeah it's
nice no I don't I don't not like I don't know that I I ship on the on the vessel um because I just
don't care enough but I do think they're like a solid legit couple who was very much in love you don't ship on the vessel but do you ship the vessel the boat itself um like it's kind of ugly it's kind of ugly and like I just want to
be honest like I really don't feel like you need to spend 500 million dollars on a boat you know
me I'm like excess of everything and I want the nicest boat ever like the nicest boat ever like
the hundred million dollar one like isn't enough even the hundred million dollar ones have heli yeah i don't know why this one is so expensive
it looks like a pontoon by the way yeah and i think it also has sail um it's a sailing yacht
which is i think actually makes you don't like it's a nice feature to have because right if you
run out of gas like you're it's unnecessary you're still mobile no i think like it's it's
it's pretty smart like a backup emergency plan if the vessel fails yeah you can always just put the sails up
and get to work and set sail quite literally quite literally but yeah no it's a crazy boat
and so I just need to understand like what it has that the other boats that are so crazy don't have
I just I guess it has her for me like for me to think that your boat is like a little too much
like and I really nothing more is more with me I'm not one of these like eat the rich people like
yeah go I just I think you've crossed a line when I think this is too much yeah because like I've
seen you know people go on boats and you know on Instagram they're like oh my god look this is one
of the and it's like a 200 million dollar yacht 500 yeah why it's not even your house you use it on vacation what a couple times a year
the 100 million dollar one's not enough it costs 25 million dollars a year to run
right it can accommodate 18 guests that's it and requires a crew of 40 sailors so i guess there's
like 60 people on the boat okay and how much like dead ass does it cost
to build a cruise ship oh like you know like carnival how much yeah like the new ones celebrity
cruise they're always build a cruise ship I feel like they always announce like their new feature
and they say how much it costs okay today's newest cruise ships can easily break a billion dollars
although construction costs can vary widely depending on the ship's size in fact almost all cruise ships with a capacity of over 3 000 passengers cost over 750 million
dollars to build so he's in like the same budget as a boat that's carrying 5 000 people 3 000
whatever like that's i'm sorry you told me crazy i'm eating the rich this is unnecessary yeah
having said that i would not turn down an invitation on
the boat and maybe get a front row seat to the bust itself to the bus itself let's get back to
the bus is it her or is it just a funny coincidence no it's her I think it's her too because most of
these bus we actually just read a book um for the redheads it was about um bust making it was about
the woman who inspired all the busts that were made in like the gilded
age they're all over the city like you know met life building like she's um called angelica in
the book and she's just a perfect specimen of a woman she all the sculptors used her as their
like fit model fit model exactly um and this doesn't have that vibe of like that greek
she looks like a modern woman she looks like a modern woman. She looks like a modern woman named Lauren Sanchez.
There are no like statues made of like unknown people
that aren't like giving physiques.
Like they have curves and imperfect breasts.
Like they're older standards of beauty.
They're older standards of beauty.
There's no hair extensions.
Right.
Or lip filler.
Implants, yeah.
Implants, yeah.
No, it's totally her.
I think it's a really speed romantic gesture.
Yeah.
That's like a nice gift to get for your partner when you are a multi-billionaire and they
have everything and like you just need it to be thoughtful and expensive.
Yeah.
And it's like, here, I had a bust made of you and I'm putting it on my yacht and that's
how much I love you.
Yeah.
Like when you're that wealthy, you got to get creative because there's really only so
many Birkin bags.
Right.
Like that can fit in a closet.
Right.
That's a regular Tuesday that you can get a Birkin bag. Right. Right. But a bus comes around every once in a while. And what
we know about Jeff from his leaked text messages is he's actually quite the romantic. Yes. And he
just wants to get drunk with you a little drunk. Yeah. And read the newspaper with you. Exactly.
And I'm sure they do a lot of that on the boat. I'm sure that they do. The boat is called KORU.
Spell it.
K-O-R-U.
It's Maori for the loop often found on silver necklaces,
which symbolizes new beginnings.
No, I don't like it.
If you had a boat, what would you call it?
Mine would be called the Turdiloo.
The Turdiloo set sail.
Right.
Guys, be at the dock at six.
Turdiloo set sail.
Yeah.
At 0600 hours hours what about you
the roll dini no oh that's cute the rolled is a nice name yeah i feel like on below deck like
all the boats have four letter names yeah arrow it needs to be something like poetic not so Not so obvious. Just like a nice, beautiful word.
What are words we love?
The wench.
Period.
Period.
The wench.
Wenchy Lou.
The wench is making her maiden voyage.
I gotta be there for the inaugural sale.
Are you ready
for our next story?
Yeah.
Dixie D'Amelio
was taken to the hospital
in an ambulance
after feeling faint.
Dixie D'Amelio
was hospitalized
on Thursday
after feeling faint
at work.
An ambulance was called.
A source tells Page Six
and she was treated
at the hospital
for dehydration
and is now feeling
much better.
We're told the 21-year-old singer still planned to make it to the D'Amelio Footwear launch
event, which was scheduled for Thursday evening despite the medical incident.
And sure enough, she did show up to the event in an all-leather look just hours later.
She wore a black bandeau top and matching maxi skirt with her newly platinum lock slicked
back into a ponytail.
So here she is at the event looking gorgeous um after having just been
in the hospital it's giving like Elvis it's giving overworked yeah let the girl rest yeah
clearly something's going on like I'm sure she's okay but you don't just like go call an ambulance
and go to the hospital right for any day like yeah like you have to be extremely run down right
and I don't really feel like you know foot, footwear is like an important, like I feel like she
could have skipped it.
I'm sure this was a big launch for them.
D'Amelio footwear.
It's literally theirs.
It came across my TikTok yesterday.
The dad made a TikTok and I looked at the account.
I'm like, D'Amelio footwear?
I must have missed a chapter.
But obviously it's like a new thing.
No, it's right now.
The chapter starts.
They're doing a lot.
They are.
Like as a family
where in the world is addison ray she's been posting to ig a little bit she got booked for
another movie with ryan reynolds i know but like she's so pulled back i know i'm just trying to
support her me too and i actually think ultimately it'll be a good thing for her because like you
know it's a slippery slope to like overexposure and honestly it feels like the D'Amelio's like
might be headed that way um but like I just worry for Addison I know but I just trust that she's
doing what's best for her I really do okay she seems okay and every time she like pops up she's
okay yeah but yeah the D'Amelio's do a lot but I think it works for them like they must sell a lot
of Hollister and a lot of
shoes yeah a lot of
coffees and ring lights
like because here we go
Addison footwear D'Amelio
footwear yeah well wishing
Dixie the best you know
take some rest yeah break
is okay a break is okay
please rest please are you ready for our fifth and final story yeah Starbucks is changing the Rest. Yeah. A break is okay. A break is okay. Please rest. Please.
Are you ready for our fifth and final story?
Yeah.
Starbucks is changing the type of ice that they use in drinks.
And people are in a tizzy over it.
Why?
I don't feel particularly.
Are you talking about shape?
Shape.
I don't like crave.
I think Starbucks ice is like a weird shape.
Are they going cubed?
They're going nugget.
Which is better.
This is huge for the community it's huge but people
are upset they think it's going to melt too quickly that's a fair fair concern honestly
like i have a nugget ice machine i love it i don't find that it melts really quick but
scientifically like it's smaller i get it yeah in a statement to people the coffee giant announced
its plan to begin changing the ice used in its signature drinks as part of a multi-year rollout starting this year.
Quote, as we continue to innovate and make investments in the Starbucks experience for our partners and customers, we are introducing new machines that make nugget ice to select stores this year.
Customers who have tried nugget ice in our handcrafted ice beverages during testing had a resoundingly positive response.
Many stores will not see the change this year.
The company is prioritizing stores
that have a high volume of cold drink orders.
Oh, like hot locations.
Yeah, no, I feel like if they tested it extensively,
I think melting would obviously be a concern
when it comes to a focus group on ice.
So I feel like there was no merit there.
That people's concerns are that they're melting?
Like, I'm sure they
looked into it this is like a like I know it sounds so stupid what we're talking about like
ice shape but like for Starbucks it's huge this isn't like they produce so much ice and ice is
weirdly extremely personal of course what's your favorite shape I'm not a huge ice girl actually
I guess sometimes can be really dirty I know yeah also I don't
like ice in certain drinks because it does melt inevitably I don't want a watery diet coke
oh I like a diet I like ice in my diet coke but I don't like ice in like my sparkling water some
people do I think that's weird because it's like I'm just mixing sparkling and flat with flat yeah
like maybe if they made cubes made of sparkling that's a great that's like also there's like ice talk where people have all these varieties of ice well it's really smart coffee ice is really
smart but like there's not enough time in the day right but people who actually make ice cubes out
of iced coffee and then use that in their iced coffee so that like if it melts throughout the
day it's completely fine is like they're living in the future those people they are but they also
have insane amounts of time insane amounts of time and then people have different shaped ice for like the different glassware that they have and that's
nuts then they have um like color like flowers in their eyes yeah no they lost me there yeah
but like the coffee thing actually makes sense i would do like frozen diet coke like that's a good
idea frozen diet coke cubes oh for my diet coke can. How would that work? Does Diet Coke freeze? Yeah. Yeah. But we should try it.
A hundred percent.
Patreon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think, I wonder what.
Compelled.
Prompted them.
Compelled them to change the ice shape.
Right.
There's nothing like special about their ice, but maybe they want to be special.
I think a lot of people like, if I am going to get a soda and there's a Chick-fil-A and
a McDonald's, like I actually, and I'm just getting a soda, I probably would go to Chick-fil-A and a McDonald's like I actually and
I'm just getting a soda I probably would go to Chick-fil-A because they have the crushed ice
well not crushed nugget yeah and it just makes the experience more special it really does it's
so stupid but it does right and I feel like maybe people would drink the drinks faster and then get
more drinks and I know a lot of people think this is gross but there are people who are ice chewers
people like finish a drink and then finish a cup of ice too.
They chew on the ice throughout the day.
So if you're an ice chewer, nugget ice does elevate that experience.
They're doing it for the ice chewers.
It's possible.
It's possible.
Maybe that's not the whole reason, but they definitely factored in the ice chewers.
Yeah, I think it's exciting change, you know?
I know.
I love.
That doesn't like, it's not like, you know, when they put those lids on the cups where it's like you're actually I know I love that doesn't like it's not like you know
when they put those lids on the cups where it's like you're actually that was destructive you're
being harmful that was destructive to the community I don't think it would be the worst
idea for them to offer both ice shapes but they can't like they're already people customize their
orders so crazily like these places like they need to just have one ice machine and it needs
to be you know the assembly line I think the personalization of coffee is what draws so many people to Starbucks.
They have so many different.
And if they put ice in there.
That you could have it be personal.
But people take advantage.
And they get carried away.
And it's not right.
It's just a coffee.
And it's just Starbucks.
I wonder what Heather Dubrow thinks of this.
She was in the hexagonal ice.
She probably doesn't think it's elevated enough.
She probably doesn't go to Starbucks
whether they, you know,
she was like a barista in her basement.
A hundred percent.
Well, this doesn't affect me.
I don't get my I don't go to Starbucks.
Me neither.
I use the ready to drink.
I use the ready to drink.
I had one this morning.
But you know what?
My ice wasn't right.
My ice machine like makes these huge cubes i by the way
it was sticking out the top of my cup i just leave it there the cubes that come from a traditional
refrigerator that are almost like a half moon shape half moon those are the worst types of ice
shapes the refrigerator companies should be changing their ice you know a lot of new samsung
refrigerators make nugget ice it's like a reason
a lot of people are getting new fridges damn I mean I got a new fridge recently in Florida and
I didn't even think of that damn and then there's smelly ice and then there's smelly ice I remember
like many many years ago this like big expose in the New York Times came out about ice like
having fecal matter in it and from here on out like as a family we never used ice at
restaurants anymore okay sorry there's two separate things like there's that the fact that
ice weirdly is so dirty and carry like because people stick their hands in it especially at
restaurants and in public places but like I have a nice freezer yeah I don't put anything at home
is safe I don't keep anything crazy in it,
but my ice can get smelly.
And then you have to clean out the entire freezer.
I was Googling it.
You have to take everything out.
You have to wipe down the whole freezer
because it's like the smell of freezer goods
starts to penetrate the ice.
It ruins every drink.
So I actually use my ice machine
that like sits up on my counter,
not in the refrigerator.
And that also needs to be cleaned,
but it's just a water take.
It's actually not hard to clean at all.
Yeah, that's better.
You're living an elevated experience. Yeah, I mean spend 500 on an ice machine but it was an anniversary gift that ben got for me which is actually like
one of the better gifts i've gotten you and ben are like jeff and lauren who's that bezos that is
so nice my ice machine was from amazon 500 ice machine ice machine, $500 million yacht. Get you a couple who could do both.
So
those were the past five.
And you were right. There was an element of randomness
to them. General randomness.
But I have no complaints. You did a great job.
You're doing great, sweetie. Thank you.
But the show's not over. Don't fret.
Because finally the long-awaited Deer Toaster
segment is coming up. And it is brought to you
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Are you ready for dear Toasters?
I am.
Dearest Jackson Turd,
Thank you ladies for keeping me company through quarantine,
new mom life, and beyond.
I need some wisdom, so I'll get straight to it. My husband and I have been happily married for
six years. Total p-jom. We just welcomed our third child at the end of last year.
That being said, he has started a new habit that makes me want to murder him.
For the last several months, he has decided that he wants to sleep with his hand on my ass.
And by on my ass, I mean bare ass, skin to skin. As in, he puts his hand in my pajama pants.
He claims he, quote, likes to feel my skin.
I find this so annoying. I'm a stay-at-home mom to three very young children. My oldest is only
three and someone is always touching me. When I get into bed at night, I want to sleep in peace.
I'm so annoyed I dream of moving to our guest room so I can sleep alone. Other than this,
we have a wonderful marriage, so please help me convince him that this new habit is just
annoying as fuck and unacceptable.
Sincerely, a touched out toaster.
Interesting.
I'm actually, I dealt with something similar.
Ben does the most annoying thing.
And I like, I sleep on my side.
So like I sleep on my left side and my right side, my hip kind of like my bone juts out a little bit.
So skinny.
And Ben like loves to rub it and
it's so weird to the touch and I beg him every night he comes over he's like hip hip I'm like
I literally want to punch him in the throat so what I started to do um what I was I would go
over to him and I would what would I think it was like you know the really fleshy part of your
underarm like where like your like bat wings I call them I would squeeze it like really in the most annoying hard way and be like I don't stop
I'm like oh you don't like that you don't like that hip hip really showing them because to them
it's like innocuous it's like oh skin to skin love but like when someone just touches your skin in a
way in a sensitive area and in a way you don't want to like they have to feel it in order to
understand why you're not being crazy but you're valid yeah i but i feel like what her husband's doing like
it is sweet you should know it's not to pinch him in return um but could you guys find a compromise
where like he wants skin to skin like maybe hand holding or a touching of the arm she doesn't want
to be touched she's a mom of three she's touched all day people pulling on her like she could she could she get a minute of peace even in her slumber yeah do it back do it back but he would
like him back he would like it no but in a way that's annoying of course i wasn't caressing
ben's cheek being like oh my love i was being fucking annoying pinching his underarm and he
stopped yep yep okay touch him back touch him You got to get a dose of your own medicine
sometimes to like really see. But it sounds like these are different medicines.
It doesn't matter. So you're upping the dose. And you also know when somebody rubs like a
lightly like caresses over the same patch of skin multiple times, it becomes so irritating.
You can commit genocide. I'm someone who's like anti-touch so i know what you're describing and i know that
that it's not pleasant yeah but i also you know intention versus impact you don't want to hurt
your feelings that's why telling him is not enough you need to let him see firsthand yeah why it's
infuriating yeah no i could jump out of my skin at the idea of someone like continuing to rub the
same area.
No, no, it starts to feel like it's on fire.
I can't.
I honestly, I'm triggered.
Now I'm triggered.
So you touch him back.
That's my advice.
Next up.
Good luck.
Dear Jackson Claude, I have a conundrum.
I work a job in a manufacturing environment with pretty strict no work from home policy.
I have a rhinoplasty scheduled in November and I'm busy saving up sick days to cover
the time.
The doctor says, though, it'll take about two weeks before I can go without bandages
and I won't be able to take that much time off.
Do I just own it and admit that I'm getting a nose job?
Do I pass it off as like fixing a breathing problem?
Do I say nothing?
The people I work with are very nosy and very judgy and essentially all men.
I don't want to face the judgment in a professional setting when it's my face and my time off to use help
thanks a million that's really hard um if it's all men and they're judgy like I typically with
me like honesty is best policy like you're getting a nose job that's so exciting I would kind of just
lead with it I agree yeah and take as many 60 sick days as you can but eventually like you have to do
come in with bandages so I would own it but not if they're going to torture you yeah you could say you were injured
yeah I I also think like I don't think there's any shame in plastic surgery so I'm like yeah
own it who cares but if it's gonna cause you like strife annoyance and grief like it's just not
worth it I know your co-workers like it doesn't matter if you're honest with them about your
plastic surgery that's so true.
You can say over the weekend, I ran into a wall or something.
Yeah.
Like a screen door.
I was just getting over being sick, but I was a little foggy, had some NyQuil.
But will they notice their men when you take off your bandage that your nose is different?
No.
They won't?
No.
I don't think so.
It's really, we need more intel on how drastic.
Are you just getting a little bump fixed or do you have like you know a crater and you're getting it like completely like maybe like when
you hit your nose on the wall like it just kind of broke it corrected itself yeah men like would
believe stuff like yeah that's true i don't know if they necessarily believe that your nose looks
different depending on how drastic the surgery is yeah i think you could tell a little lie you can
but i also think there's no shame in owning it. Like I think these are two good options.
Like own it.
Like literally who cares.
Or lie.
Like you don't owe your coworkers full transparency.
Whatever's going to make your life easier.
Yeah.
Whatever's going to make your life easier.
Go with that one.
But they're both good options.
Yeah.
And it does.
You'll be okay regardless.
Like it's just annoying.
It is annoying.
But two good options.
Choose whichever one you think will make your life easier. Yeah. But don't like feel bad about lying. Like it's time people lie about like sick it's just annoying. It is annoying. But two good options. Choose whichever one you think will make your life easier.
Yeah, but don't, like, feel bad about lying.
Like, it's time people lie about, like, sick days all the time.
Like, oh, I'm sick.
You know, they're at six flags.
It's whatever goes on in the surgery room is between you and your medical care provider.
Like, you're entitled to medical privacy.
You don't owe anyone, like, full transparency on your plastic surgery.
No, but she comes in with a bandage.
No, like, you're going to get questions.
You're going to get questions.
So we need to navigate that
Yeah
So I'm saying
It's okay to lie
Was my point
I agree
Like about a surgery
I agree
Best of luck
And I can't wait
To see your results
I'm so excited for you
That's so exciting
It is exciting
Yeah I don't need
A nose job
But like if I did
I would get one
Like I think it's
Probably so exciting
Yeah
You know
Like you literally
Have a new face
Also scary
Yeah potentially scary
But like for the most part, fine.
Yeah, just like new ice at Starbucks.
Like it's exciting.
It's exciting.
It's changed.
Even if it melts faster,
like it's exciting.
The world is changing, you know?
We gotta get on.
We gotta change with it.
Yeah.
All right, our third and final
to your toaster is Dear Jackson Claude.
Nope, that's the one I just read.
Oh, Dear Jackson Claude.
How you doing?
Different.
Different.
She obviously lives from the South.
My boyfriend and I currently live separately
in a small Midwestern town. he pays 450 in rent but i pay about triple that because she
lives in like the city and he's you know we're planning on moving in together soon and i'm
trying to mastermind how to divvy up the new rent fairly it's about 2200 obviously it's going to be
a huge rent increase for him to uh split 50 50 i have a higher income than he does and i work from
home so i understand that I should probably
pay a little bit more.
He could live in a tent
if he had to
and is hopefully
saving up for a ring.
How do I go about
splitting our new rent?
What seems the most fair?
And most importantly,
am I a naggy bitch girlfriend
by asking him to pay more
just because I wanted
a nice place?
Love, a marketing
turned finance girl.
Okay, she works in finance.
So right now she pays,
he pays 450
and she says she pays
about triple,
let's say $1,200.
So even if they both just continued paying their rent,
it wouldn't add up.
Well, how much is the new rent?
$2,200.
$2,200.
So if she paid $1,200 and he paid $450,
that's $1,650.
They still have about $600 unaccounted for.
I think they just split the difference.
They each pay $300 more.
Oh, that's a good solution.
Even though that is like
his rent so much more than him and that but that also is like almost double his rent if he's paying
$300 more that's true it's like unfair on both sides yeah but is his rent low because like he's
been living alone and he lives you know off in an area that's in the beaten path less populated and
like he just has a low rent or like can he not afford to pay more than that yeah if he just is like living and also if he can't really do more than 450 dollars like maybe
i shouldn't be living in an apartment that's that expensive unless you're totally fine but
she wants what she wants so if you're totally fine paying that if you have to pay for it if
she pays like the pretty much 1800 and he pays 400 i mean that's crazy yeah that's that's really i think i would even be saying that if it was pays $400. I mean, that's crazy. Yeah, that's really not.
I think I would even be saying that if it was like a man and a woman.
Like, that's crazy.
No, because at that point it's like, well, why is a woman paying any rent?
Right.
You know?
Right.
No, it also depends on what is your philosophy?
Like, are you a traditional girl?
Will this bother you in your relationship?
Right.
Like, every time you get into a fight, are you going to bring this up?
Right.
Because that's not fair. In which case, like, you guys need to get into a fight, are you going to bring this up? Right. Because that's not fair.
In which case, like you guys need to get into a smaller apartment.
Yeah.
A lower, yeah.
Or a different neighborhood.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just feel like, I'm sure you could swing it.
And even if you would be like, and if this is where you want to live,
then you'll find a way to make it work.
But I just feel like it's always going to be like the undercurrent in your relationship.
Like you pay, I don't know know an eighth of the rent no I mean if they split the difference she'd be paying a thousand dollars
more than him in a 2200 apartment it's a lot it's a lot but like what are your philosophies like
will this bother you are you traditional like you know all that stuff or you don't care if you don't
care then get yourself the apartment
she also shouldn't have to sacrifice how she wants to live because her boyfriend doesn't want to pay
more rent yeah so i think we could do a few things split the difference so basically like
750 and 1550
go to a smaller place or a lesser neighborhood, just something cheaper.
I think those are your options.
Yeah.
But it's possible that he won't even want to split the difference because that really is like doubling his rent.
I know, but like he's getting a new place.
Right, and I'm sure he maybe has roommates now.
You can't expect that you're going to move to a nicer apartment
and your rent's not going to change.
Yeah.
I think splitting the difference is okay if you're okay with it
and it won't bother you.
But you really need to ask yourself, are you okay with it?
Is it always going to bother you?
Yeah.
And be honest with yourself.
Yeah, exactly.
Because either then you'll find a different place or maybe he could pay more.
And also you need to know if he just doesn't want to pay more, doesn't believe in spending
that much on rent or...
Can't afford it.
Can't afford it.
Which is a whole different host of...
You'll act differently Based on all those answers
Right
So Godspeed to you
Finances are tough
But you're also a finance girlie
So I think you can make a spreadsheet
You know
That's so true
Just come at him
With an Excel spreadsheet
And he'll be so confused
That you'll just win
Yeah
But what does she want
Like what is she winning
The nice apartment
Like she wants it
She's like
You know she has a certain
Standard of living
Yeah
And she shouldn't have to change that Okay So wants it. She's like, you know, she has a certain standard of living. Yeah.
And she shouldn't have to change that.
Okay.
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