The Toast - HemRata, Jeese and Zelener: Monday, March 27th, 2023

Episode Date: March 27, 2023

Harry Styles passionately kisses Emily Ratajkowski on the streets of Tokyo (Daily Mail) (22:40) Reese Witherspoon and husband Jim Toth divorcing after 12 years of marriage (Page Six) (34:35) Selena Gomez, Zayn Malik spark romance rumors after alleged NYC dinner date (Page Six) (41:44) Kelly Clarkson's divorce album will cover 'the good, the bad and the ugly' (Page Six) (52:25) Adele extends Las Vegas residency, plans concert film (ABC News) (1:00:34) Succession Recap (1:04:19) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry  (@girlwithnojob)  Merch The Toast Patreon Girl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to The Toast. Happy Monday. Sigh, gasp, eek. It's all right. It's all right. You want to know why? Why, Turdy Lou?

Because we are on our way to Friday. At least we've, you know, gotten the ball rolling. We're on our way. Just like Mason Ramsey taught us. Yeah. No, it's a great Monday. I'm happy to be back with my girl, Claudia. We didn't really catch up that much this weekend.

So I kind of like want to know what's going on with you. How's Turdy? What's new with Turdy? How's Theo? Theo's doing well. Turdy's okay. What's wrong, Turdy? Well, Turdy, you know, had an incident.

Oh, goodness me. Turdy, you know, has been talking a lot about how she wants to try physical therapy. She has been. And Turdy went. I went on Friday after the show, and I so wish I went on Thursday just so I could have told the story on the podcast on Friday when it was fresh. But quite possibly the most humiliating thing happened to me at physical therapy. Like I haven't recovered since Friday. I don't know how you could. Please tell them, Turdy, what happened to you? Well, it just started out where like the physical therapist

was like a really handsome guy, which I just feel like is wrong. Like I don't like it's just it's it's a power imbalance. You know, he was so handsome and it just I felt uncomfortable, to be honest, and the most embarrassing thing. So I get there and I'm like so excited because I really and he was able to he asked me like a bunch of questions first sat me down and he was really able to diagnose me. I think I have a slipped disc and it's something that like stretches and, you know, weekly sessions for a few weeks really should be able. It's very common. So it had nothing to do with my boobs. I thought like, he was like, no, your boobs will really give you like upper back pain. And I have

like lower to middle back pain. Um, so I felt good. I was getting diagnosed. And then he was like, all right, put the gown on and we'll do some stretches. And like this machine, I was like, I was so excited. And he said, I was like, wow, a gown. I wasn't expecting that. He was like, I was like, I was so excited. And he said, I was like, wow, a gown. I wasn't expecting that. He was like, just leave your bra on. I was like, damn, okay.

And I was thinking, I'm like, there's no way he didn't also want me to leave my undies on. Like, I'm not going to be bare vagina on this table. Like, this is physical therapy, not like a spa. Even still at the spa, I keep my undies on. But like, not everyone does, you know? It is optional. It's optional. I was just like, he definitely meant like, just leave keep my undies on. But like not everyone does, you know? No, it is optional. It's optional. I was just like, he definitely meant like just leave your undergarments on,

not just my bra. Yeah, he just probably doesn't know how like women's tings work. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to do something crazy. I'm going to leave my undies on because there's no way. There's no way. So I come back, he comes back in the room and I'm in my gown with my bra and undies. And he's like, oh, oh, I'm sorry.

You could have left your pants on. I was like, but you said just my bra. And I guess he meant like, we're doing my back. So like, why would my bottoms be even? And I should have thought that way, but I was just listening. Like I was following the rules. And I was like, oh, I could have left my pants on. Thank God I didn't take my underwear off.

And he was like, do you want me to leave so you can put your pants back on? I was like, please. Like, thank you. And the session went on without a hitch. But like my my dignity was just destroyed. Stripped from you. Much like your pants. And he did a really good job of not making me feel weird.

But like I'm so like I'm already like a self-aware person. And this was just like my first time meeting. And honestly, it was it was humiliating. Yeah. I can't even offer you words of support. That's like an unburden yourself that I'm doing here on this Monday. That we just kind of have to sit with. I know. And there's no unning this burden. I can't even make you feel better because

it's such a crazy story. Stop. No, I know. It's so bad. Like it was humiliating. And I really I really did try to not let it like mar my whole experience. Is that the right word, mar? Yeah. Because it was so fabulous. I got a diagnosis, which made me feel so good. I got a sickening massage. And I got stretches. And I've been doing them at home every day.

I have to do them today. I've been really good. I am committed to fixing my back problem. And it was a gorgeous place. And it was a wonderful experience. But I'm blinded by by you could leave your pants on I felt like a predator like yeah you're like Pee Wee Herman at the movies yeah it's like put your pants on oh my god it was it was humiliating it was it was horrible and he

really he really was such a nice guy and he didn't make me feel bad and then he was like I hope you like country music because that's what we play and I was like I was like this this is such a great experience I wish I didn't ruin it yeah but it's okay we're gonna get through it this is part of life it's just important for everyone to know like before you judge me like this is my first time ever doing physical therapy I was shocked to even see a gown yeah you've only ever put a gown on like at the doctor where it's a full body thing like when you see a gown you take your clothes off right because like I really I could have just laid there in my bra and pants no bra and pants like I don't know if I needed a gown whatever it was just no but he's like that's how private he was no that's how courteous this man was such a gentleman and

instead we had turdius taking her pants off. Yeah, I am going back tomorrow and I do think I'm going to say, sir, you are far too handsome to be my physical therapist. Give me the ugliest guy you got. No, because there won't be anyone who can work with you

and you're stuck with a guy who you took your pants off for and now you're calling him far too handsome. I know, I'm afraid he's going to hear this. The predator strikes again. I feel I'm afraid he's going to hear this. The predator strikes again. I feel I'm afraid he's going to hear this.

No, I think I need to go with a lady. I think I... But you know what? Me and this guy, we made really great progress. I am going to stick with it. And you know what? I've already on the first day embarrassed myself to the nth degree. How much worse could it really get?

And now he knows your history. I think it's fine. It's fine. Just stop talking about people's looks and stop taking your clothes off unless expressly so you want me to stop being me no be taking your clothes off is not a part of no it was so uncharacteristic but I was really I was like you know what I've never done physical therapy this is how they do it I'm gonna dive in and really give it my all and i gave i gave a little too much of my all and i was wearing these like ugly under like it was just it was bad did you see your underwear yes full coverage i mean do you know me it was a little too full coverage it was like a blanket that's good good. Yeah. They were like high-waisted black granny panties.

You didn't moon him. I didn't moon him. Oh, no. Imagine if I was wearing like a G-string. Like, hey, boys. Yeah. So that happened to be on Friday. And like my whole weekend was just kind of a blur of humiliation.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. Ben was out of town, though. So I really needed to busy myself because if I had just, like, stewed on that and been alone, it would have been horrible. So I made myself busy. I saw my friends. I had a nice weekend, you know.

Went out on Friday and Saturday night. She's a social girl. She makes social calls. What did you do? Dinner? I went out to dinner. Yeah, I went to Carbone, your favorite, on Friday. Just, like, a low-key dinner, you know.

And then I went out on Saturday to Boom Boom Room, which I haven't been to in forever. Just, you know, saw the sights. And I got home late. Oh, I fell. I fell. But you know what? It wasn't like an embarrassing fall.

You know, the fall is really what started our entire Unburden Yourself segment. I fell in front of Mary-Kate and Ashley. Actually, I don't know which one it was. It was just one. I think Mary-Kate. So if you have been don't know which one it was. It was just one. I think Mary-Kate. So if you have been here for a while, you know that that's what started, you know, the Monday unburdening segment.

And I fell again on Saturday night, but it wasn't humiliating because I was with Taylor and Taylor and like, I can't embarrass myself in front of them. Like they're family. Like I wasn't embarrassed in the slightest. And this stranger on the street helped me up and he was actually really nice. And wasn't humiliated like I can't explain

it there was nothing about like I genuinely fell it wasn't like I was so drunk like I tripped I was wearing big shoes like things happen I fell I'm a human shoot me for sure and I'm not worried about you being humiliated or anything like I'm worried about your health if you keep falling like you're gonna hurt yourself I know but like do you see the shoes I wear? I wear the biggest, tallest platforms. And I'm this tiny little girl who like has no upper body strength. I have no strength anywhere. Like that's why you're doing physical therapy.

So you can balance out for your heels. A hundred percent. But like, I have no core. So I don't have like that. The core is what keeps you centered. Yeah. My core is jelly. Yeah.

So it's no wonder I'm tripping all over this town. Be careful, Turny Lou. I know. And I did like I hit the deck like I went like hands, knees down on the concrete. But I didn't hurt myself or my ego. Like I can't explain how some falls are just different. No, I understand. I'm not embarrassed for you.

I'm just like now like you're falling a lot. Yeah. No, I have no center of gravity. I love to have cocktails and I wear big shoes I think that's a recipe for disaster agreed and so far you've been blessed that you haven't you know hobbled into the toast on crutches on a Monday morning no on a Monday morning I'm gonna come in with a boot it's in my future I know it I'm so reckless I don't like look before I cross the street there's curbs and we're in the city. Bumpity bumpity.

And I was in the West Village. Those roads haven't been paved since the early 20s. Yeah. So I'm merely a victim of circumstance, honestly. It's a lot of things. Yeah. Including your own choices. Jesus, you're such a teacher sometimes.

Like, I don't think teachers go that hard. No, they should. The your own choices. Jesus, you're such a teacher sometimes. I don't think teachers go that hard. No, they should. The kids need it. They should, but that's really for the parents to do. Yeah, no, you're such a parent. I was actually thinking this morning while I was listening to Luke Combs' new album. Which I'm obsessed beyond. Which is called Getting Older, right?

Yeah. And it's like a part of this dual album, really. Growing Up is the first part and this is Getting Older. There's a song Growing up and getting older and for me like growing up was such an album that really spoke to me and I realized like of these two albums like I am growing up and you are getting older because there's a lot of songs about like parenthood yes um and for for the first part of it feels like Luke wrote the song when he was like thinking about having kids the first album and then the second album was like once he had the kids, you know?

Yeah. No, I really, really relate to this album. There's a couple songs that just speak right to my heart. It's such a good album. His last album was so good too. And like, I still wasn't done listening to it. But for me, I'm loving this. I was listening to it all week.

And I actually think I'm going to get in the car today and just sit in the driveway and listen to it some more do you think that you agree with my call that like we are the two sides of this album yes I do like Luke probably like wrote it with us in mind you were I posted that song take me with you take you with me to my story because it was like my favorite and most emotional song and then you were like oh my god yeah made me cry not to put you on the spot I I did. And then I was thinking like. I'm not ashamed of my emotions.

I was like, oh, what part of this made Turdy Lou cry? Because I'm like, I know why I'm crying. Because we're taking Rold everywhere with us. Oh, okay, it was for Rold. Okay, because I didn't know if. Duh. I was like, is she relating to it like as the kid part of it is like, you know. No, I actually didn't relate to that part.

Like when I was a kid I didn't really want to go places with my parents I was like let me go bitch like let me be on my own I'm an adult yeah yeah you know yeah I don't really like I relate to the parent part of that song where it's like I just want to take you with me everywhere no that's us like we're always thinking like how can we take Harry with us yeah we're not doing anything if we can't take him no yeah like Harry like whenever we plan something like Harry coming like first of all increases the budget you know it increases like the time it increases everything yeah but we're all constantly like how can we accommodate yeah like or but it's just like how could we be somewhere without him like

why would it be there is it worth it no no so I'm loving this album it's a masterpiece and I also listened a lot to Morgan Wallen's new album we have a lot of new music and we have a new music story Kelly Clarkson so we're just kind of it's that time of year where everyone's gearing up for summer so like the releases are starting because like everybody wants to have like the song or the album of the summer um and that takes a while so this is summer summer summer, summer, summer. So it's that time of year where we're getting really good music and we're just I'm loving it. Yeah, me too.

I'm a little overwhelmed. But now that I have a car, I have a wonderful vessel in which to listen to all this new music. So I'm feeling less whelmed. Less whelmed. That's good. I'm glad the Tesla is underwhelming you. Yeah, no, it's been good. Tesla makes it so easy to listen on Spotify. Except I didn't realize I have to pay for a premium subscription to my Tesla. It's like ten dollars a month if I want

Spotify right there on my screen. In addition to other things, not just for Spotify, it's like a million things. Karaoke. You know, there's car karaoke in the Tesla. OK, that does sound like something that should be like an additional bonus. But Spotify is like a basic human right. I know. Well, I can listen. You can listen to the radio. You could try Sears. Could you plug in like your phone and then for free? There's like no plugs.

I don't know how to plug in my phone. Scar's turn. I also have not been to Florida to see your Tesla. I am coming this week. Oh, PSA. I'm coming to Florida Thursday. There is no show Friday. Jackie and I have like a business thing. Business woman tings. We're a couple of business women. So there's no show Friday. Jackie and I have like a business thing. Business woman tings.

We're a couple of business women. So there's no show Friday. Apologies. And then I haven't made my plans yet, but I hope to still be in Florida by Monday so we could just do the show together. Together. Harmoniously. I'm feeling like it might be acrimoniously. Why do you feel such a way, turdy glue? I don't know. I'm just feeling like that might be the vibe. Sounds like you want it to be the vibe. Yeah. I mean, a little drama, a little fight never hurt. I mean, people are always asking. It does hurt. Okay. I wanted to share this now that enough time has passed. People are always asking like, how do you and Jackie do the show? Like if you're like sisters and you're fighting, like what is, what happens to the show? And we really like don't fight as sisters or as business partners.

But like, what was it last week? Maybe two weeks ago during the show, like Jackie and I, like maybe like we just like woke up on the wrong side of the bed. We were we were just like talking about a story. It was like the Law Roach story. We just like started fighting in the story. Yeah, no, it was like neither of us would back down from the point from the point and that we couldn't pivot out of it no and like I I definitely

ended up being wrong but like you would not let it go I didn't realize I was being that way like so we fought literally on the show versus impact like impact of course what I was saying I didn't realize I was like harming you you were just like like dog with a bone that's what I had said during the fight and so we literally fought on the show. We cut it out, obviously. And then we continued to do the show. And like for the first maybe minute, it was weird. Only if you knew, like maybe you would even notice it.

But then by the time the show was over, like we ended up with such a great show. It was so funny. It really healed us. We didn't even really talk about it. We were both like, sorry, move on. So that's the only like honestly memory I can think of in the last maybe three years where people have asked like what if you and Jackie fight and I don't have a point of reference now I do yeah we just got like stuck in the mud on that that's exactly what it was we were just like digging on this stupid

fucking story we got stuck we got stuck it happens to the best creatives but then the toast healed us as the toast does because by the end of the show I mean I think I speak for both of us like I didn't even care anymore like it was like whatever the show that was over the show was great yeah yeah and it was like it wasn't a fight worth continuing it's not like either one of us felt so hurt we needed to talk about it no no no and now we can talk about it and now we've said it and now we have so that's a little toast fun fact for you a little bts yeah it was an acrimonious day twas that turned harmonious harmonious because the toast is a harmonizing brand just like me when i listen to luke combs not true but sure turdy just wait till you're in the car with me.

Like I'm hitting these notes. Luke is crying. Jackie is singing because Luke Combs has a low voice and you have a high voice. Jackie is singing the same note, but in a higher octave. And she thinks that is a harmony.

Luke and I harmonize. I'm not getting into this again. I'm not getting into this again. Like, no, like we were driving all weekend listening to Luke Combs. And like I was in the, I actually drove a lot this weekend like i was in the i actually drove a lot this weekend considering zach was in the car with me there was only one outing where

he drove and like your girl was just like hitting these notes harmonizing let me let me ask you a question when you and zach are going out somewhere together do you take your mom car you know your harry safe kia or do you take your tesla so they're both mom cars, really. Yeah, but like one of them is an SUV. No, no, no. They both are. They're the same size. So it's like we kind of need to switch one of them, which isn't going to happen. You need to get like a convertible. Or a one car that's really big.

Because kind of both of ours are like, if we have guests or something, it's a little small for- Mid-size. Yeah. So- Does your back row of Tesla have captain seats or three seats? Right. So that's good.

And then is there a back back row? No. OK. But Zach's has captain seats and a back back row. So right. They're both kind of concede the same amount of people. Just depends on the vibe. No, that other car, Zach's car is like the mom's SUV.

Not the way Zach. Zach is like that's his mobile office. He's got literally like desktop computers in there he has a folding table in there he has a fridge he's literally he could live out of the car yeah no you'll first of all I think you have the wrong impression of Tesla that it's a car if when we were in Lauren Elizabeth's Tesla in LA is it the same one I don't remember what kind she had. Okay.

I have to see it. Yeah. And I can't wait to drive it. I know. You have to see it. I'm excited for you to drive it. But most of the time when we, in the last few weeks, like when we're doing a family outing,

we take the Tesla just because it's more fun. But Zach will drive it sometimes too. But yesterday we took the Kia. We needed the extra seat. Just depends really. Got it. Yeah. Bryce is comfortable in both vehicles he makes himself at

home low-key like having a baby's like low-key annoying with the car is like that car seat is fucking huge yeah and then in one like nobody wants to sit in the middle seat next to the car seat the car seat's like on your lap for sure but you get to like play with Harry of course of course of course but then there's also like the car seat. What's it called? If you if it's your permanent car, you install like a car seat base. Right. And that way the car seat just clicks in.

It's great. But but then that makes that seat unusable. Even when there's no baby. Forever. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Like these kids. My God, they just need to learn how to drive already.

No, no. Get their own car. That's my job. Oh, that's true. You did to learn how to drive already no no get their own car that's my job oh that's true you did just learn how to drive yeah so it's been a fun adventure um that's great and you know what else is great the wealth of stories we have I mean after the show on Friday you know Reese Witherspoon strategic queen dropping in on Friday afternoon like divorce then there was Selena's new man like actually a lot came out we have a lot to discuss we do and I'm ready we should we could yeah we will I think we will yeah the fast five stories that you need to know and today's episode is brought to you by Jacqueline's favorite brand Babbel one of the most exciting things about the

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And everyone is really, really shook about it. So he's in Tokyo for his Love on Tour tour. Yep. He was doing, he's all over Asia. He's everywhere. Who knows what brings her there? She just happened to be there too. It looked like they were at some sort of small gathering of friends yeah um and it looked like someone else at the party was the one who took the video like this is not paparazzi

yeah it was definitely boots on the ground it was boots on the ground and it was you know it was passionate make out yeah we are now getting all different angles videos photos they were definitely making out there's no you know way that. It was definitely them and they were definitely making out. And people are shook. I mean, I think whenever Harry is tied to a new person, people are automatically going to hate it because so many of his fans feel so territorial and everybody feels like it should be them. And I totally relate to that sentiment. Here are my thoughts. I thought she was dating that guy, Eric Andre, because literally a month ago on Valentine's Day, they were naked on Instagram together. So I'm just confused about that.

Two, you know, one thing about me is. How do I put this delicately? I'm not like an M. Rod, a super fan. I feel like every time we talk about her, every time we talk about her, time we talk about her like I say that like I feel like her brand which is very like sexy feminist is so like not my vibe whatsoever so I acknowledge that I'm definitely biased so therefore I'm not here for this pairing um I also feel like it's a little soon you know Harry just got out of a really long term like it was a long relationship

that Olivia thing like it's a little soon yeah I mean a little soon for a makeout no yeah so I am not that's not who I would choose for him knowing that he is you know like the second most eligible bachelor after Jason Sudeikis uh Sudeikis uh but I kind of ship I think like they're so both eligible they're so good looking they're so single why not they're pretty similar in age you know it's definitely a more age appropriate relationship than the last time and this one is like a little bit more obvious with Olivia Wilde I think we were all like what I also don't think that they're gonna start dating I think maybe the fact that these videos went viral will make them like go out again but they were just making out like I don't think they're together. Emrata has been like bopping around dating. She's single. She's with Eric

Andre. She was rumored to be with Brad Pitt. Like I think she's just seeing what's out there and fortunately for us this was caught on camera but we were never meant to know about this. Very true as well even though it does make me feel like it's a little more serious if she's in Tokyo like why would she be there if not for him it's not like she's filming a big movie in Tokyo you know I feel like celebrities to like fly someone out to your show to the hookup is like not okay for sure Tokyo I know it's not you know North Carolina it's Tokyo that's what like a 19-hour flight yeah that's not It's not, you know, North Carolina. It's Tokyo. That's what, like a 19-hour flight?

Yeah, that's commitment. That's not a flying out just to see. That's not. No, maybe she was in a neighboring country and they linked up. She's literally Shawn Mendes. I'm a couple hundred miles from Japan tonight. I was just thinking, what's that song?

There's a song about this. It's such a good song lost in japan you got plans tonight i just said that i got a couple hundred miles from japan japan and i oh my god but we're looking for someone to hold your hand tonight this is that good song literally that could be what happened that's very. I don't know for me. And I feel like I say this every time. Like it's always like who Pete Davidson going to date next. And we were like, you know, guessing. And then it was Amrata. So obvious. Like, I don't know. I like when it's obvious, though, sometimes. I don't know. I just wish Harry would like surprise me, you know,

date someone ugly, date someone chubby. OK, but he was couldn't have been more surprising with Olivia Wilde. And you weren't happy about that. Yeah. Maybe I'm just like a woman hater.ater that's kind of what I'm feeling I feel like you're feeling the way a lot of fans are feeling which is like it's never going to be good enough unless it's you like the way you just said like someone chubby yeah someone who's a podcaster like I feel like unless it's you you're not going to be happy no that's but like let me really say like with my full body, how like I'm really not interested. Not that anyone's asking. I'm like not interested in dating Harry Styles.

Like, first of all, like I am happily married, lest we forget. Yeah, right. To like- Germaine to the convo. Like I'm not available. Like I'm really not available. And to be honest, like, yeah, Harry Styles is so handsome.

Like if I could choose any celebrity to like hypothetically fuck like he wouldn't even be in my top 10 no I know and I don't think it's that like in practice all these fans like really want Harry to show up on their door and ask him out though a lot of them do I think it's more like this just territorialness where like this possession yeah it's like you're always gonna have this block up about who he dates because like this piece of you is just jealous it doesn't mean that you're seriously hoping that you become yeah that's true his next girlfriend but like you just can't be happy for him yeah and you can't see him with someone else although like I do really like there are parts of me like my all of me actually like I ship him and Kendall like I think they they're. Perfect for each other.

Like I don't think I would be feeling that way. This way. If. If Kendall was the girl in Tokyo. Yeah. They are literally so similar. I know. Which is why.

It's just like this block that you have. You know. I'm not saying. Anything I say. Like makes sense. No. No. Because.

Really on its face. Like. These are. Two. Very. Suited people. Who are suited. I say like makes sense no no because really on its face like these are two very suited people who are suited for one another it's also just so crazy to think how like Emily Ratajkowski for most like the entirety of her fame has been tied down you know she's been married for so long and so imagine if she wasn't like how many you you know, eligible men she could have dated. Like that's commitment. I think she's making up for lost time. Yes, she definitely is.

So can you blame her? I just want to go on the record that I am here for this couple. I don't think it'll turn serious. But if it were to like, I'd kind of love that. Like photos of them being styling and walking in the streets. Wait, by the way, I totally forgot. Before the show, we were talking about stories. Do we have a story about Gwyneth Paltrow's trial?

No, we don't. I know she's going viral, though. She is. Let's just talk about it for two seconds because I have so many thoughts. You don't have to add it as a story. It's just like a separate anecdote. Obviously, this clip went viral of the opposing counsel

asking her about Taylor Swift because Taylor Swift really kind of invented the whole thing of counter-suing for a dollar where it's like you're making a point it's not about money it's about justice and then she was asked do you know Taylor Swift are you friends with Taylor Swift it was so irrelevant and it really I know we're all like joking about this it's such a gross misuse of our justice system it's an abuse of people's time this whole thing is a circus it's a farce and like everyone is sitting there like everyone is like, you know, Gwyneth Paltrow, cause she's been sitting there getting cross-examined, like with a smile on her face.

Cause this is so stupid. She didn't do anything wrong. And everyone's like, not Gwyneth Paltrow being so patronizing. Really? I would be too. Like this whole trial is a farce. It's a circus. And like, yeah, it's funny in a pop culture. Haha. Like at the end of the day, like this is a, an abuse of the judicial system. It's abusive. The judge's time, the jury's time.

Like this is so stupid. It's not fucking real. Literally nothing happened. And it's moronic moronic. But I mean, how can you say that with certainty that nothing happened, that she did not do this? Because look at what the council is spending their time on.

Do you know Taylor Swift? Are you friends with Taylor Swift? When was the last time you spoke to Taylor Swift? How the fuck? Things like this happen every day, like where people sue for nonsense. I know, but we're all like eating it up. And I feel like it's really highlighting like how this is we're such a what's the word I'm looking for with an L litigious litigious country you know everyone just sees everything that happens to

them as an opportunity to sue yeah well that's for sure but I do think it's part of you know being an American is having the right to sue someone if you have been wrong but also having the right to defend yourself and like letting it play out if Gwyneth is being wronged in this situation like the justice system will prevail in her favor and for this guy like if he really was attacked by Gwyneth then then he'll have his justice too like that's really what the judicial system is for I know it's like a waste of everyone's time but that is what like in any case like there's someone who's blatantly wrong and blatantly right but we have to sit there and we have to talk about it and yeah I really I really hope like nobody's buying what this you know victim quote is saying

I'm so and yes I'm definitely biased I love Gwyneth yeah um but like I don't know how anyone could like watch this trial and be like yeah like justice for this guy like well what I'm seeing and his daughter's on the stand like making jokes like literally auditioning for SNL like it's moronic yikes what I'm seeing though no people this quote of Gwyneth has been going viral because the prosecutor asked um like did you suffer at all I want to get the exact quote like did you suffer from this incident like I know you had planned like an expensive trip in Park City right uh what was the exact question uh she was asked about the losses that she had suffered from the crash.

And Gwyneth said, well, we lost half a day of skiing. So yes. No, facts. Because it was so insignificant. People are like mocking her over her response though. Like, you know, any slight inconvenience to your life. Well, we lost half a day of skiing. No, because that's how minimal this whole situation was.

Like nothing happened, you know? Yeah, actually I saw a quote from Gwyneth that from her point of view, like the man came from behind her. He collided into her and his two skis went between her skis. So it like, uh, her legs, like her legs legs spread and thank god she's so flexible i know but she said she at first she thought it was like a sexual assault you know what i mean because if you don't know what's happening and all of a sudden somebody's coming from behind and forcing your legs apart like that's pretty scary yeah i just it's so dumb and she's handling herself

with the utmost grace because i could never but that that's, you know, that's what the courts are for. And yes, people take advantage. Yeah. But it's also for the courts to, you know, instill that people don't take advantage. And it could, Gwyneth could have countersued for $300,000 too. You know what I mean? Right, right. Like to punish him.

But she's not trying to punish him. She's just trying to clear her name. Clear her name. It would have been easier for her because the judge capped it at $300,000 to just pay it and not. She's just trying to clear her name. Clear her name. It would have been easier for her because the judge capped it at $300,000 to just pay it and not, she's spending more on legal fees, honestly. Yeah, but your name is your name, Turdy Lou.

Right, right. So she has to go through this circus just to clear her name. Yes, but having the opportunity to clear your name. Is what makes this country great. I agree. So you just gotta trust the process, Turdy Lou, even though I know it can be harrowing. Not what makes this country great. I agree. So you just gotta trust the process,

Tardy Lou, even though I know it can be not your favorite thing to do. 100%. Are you ready for our next? Okay, so overall,

let's move on from Harry and Emerita. Overall. It's fine. It's not like the most original creative idea. It's fine.

At least it's age appropriate. Yeah. I think it's a little cute just oh I'm I'm so not where you are it's just like you know they're so good looking what's bad yeah are you ready for our next story yes definitely one ship builds another crumbles Reese Witherspoon another sinks another sinks reese witherspoon and her ex-husband husband jim toth are divorcing after 12 years of marriage reese and her husband are calling it quits the star announced the difficult news on her instagram on friday she said we have

some personal news to share it is with a great deal of care and consideration that we have made the difficult decision to divorce the actress detailed that despite their split they have enjoyed so many wonderful years together and are moving forward with deep love kindness and mutual respect for everything they've created together their biggest priority is their 10 year old son Tennessee as well as their entire family as they navigate this next chapter that's a nice name yeah you know why this is tough? Because it's a celebrity businessman beau relationship that didn't stand the test of time. I mean, and it was a successful relationship. They got married. They were together for 12 years, which in Hollywood is very long. So I wouldn't consider this a failure, but it's always tough to see, you know, the businessman beau celeb starlet duo go

down. Agreed. Though I don't think that this is a knock in the businessman bow category because when I think of a businessman bow, I want someone who's out of the industry. Like he's a businessman bow. He's an agent. He's still in Hollywood. And to me, that's it's yes, he's in the business of Hollywood. It's better than dating a fellow actor, but still not what I would have chosen. So I don't feel responsible for this.

I don't feel responsible for this. I don't feel responsible either. And I find, I think, you know, the proceedings, she's so rich now and they built that company, Hello Sunshine, that was just valued at a billion dollars. They built it during, she built it during the marriage. I have to assume he was a part of it. He's a businessman and they were married. So I wonder what this means. Yeah. But it's not like when they got married, she was like some of it. He's a businessman and they were married. So I wonder what this means. Yeah, but it's not like when they got married she was like some nobody with no success. Like I'm sure everything

is extremely tied up and spelled out. Yeah. One of my favorite things about Reese Witherspoon is the way she's just kind of navigated maintaining her status

as America's sweetheart. And nobody seems to remember that video when she got pulled over. I think she was drunk driving and she was like screaming at the cop like, do you know who I am? I'm America's sweetheart. And nobody seems to remember that video when she got pulled over. I think she was drunk driving and she was like screaming at the cop. Like, do you know who I am? I'm America's sweetheart. That's one of my favorite moments in pop culture history. And I love that nobody talks about it because she's a queen and she's totally

bumped past it. And she like built this sickening business. And she really is like with her, it's like the cream rises. She's so talented. You know, a million star, let's try to start business, business start businesses not all of them become billion dollar companies backed by black rock you know yeah and she's really just done something so unique like with the books like she's really well I think she's kills it I think it followed a really natural progression and that's always how the best things happen and now so many people I think it's her passion to emulate hello

sunshine but I think when she started a book club like she just really liked to read and then she read so many great books that she was like I'd really like to see this as a movie and then she's like hey I'm a movie person why can't why not me and right you know that's how the best things happen it's when you're trying so hard to do something like she worn it in that's when it's bogus yeah so she'll still be rich of course I just do wonder you know celebs they're all tight-knit You know they get their Prenups Postnups

They do all that But California Where a lot of people get married Is a community property state That means you know Half to everyone Yeah Well I hope that

They can settle things Nicely Harmoniously And not acrimoniously No No And also You know she's now on the market.

Add her to our list. Like, who do we see Reese Witherspoon with? I mean, part of me, you know, always will stand her and Ryan Phillippe. I think, you know, that was just, it was a moment in time. They have two children together. You know, they're both so good looking.

Would it hurt to try again? I don't know. I don't know. I don't get good vibes from the two of them. I do feel like they were definitely like young and it was fast and they were you know hot and heavy until they weren't do you think she'll go like older or younger this might be the time in her life where she goes younger I mean she literally could have the experience that she played in Nancy Meyers's daughter's film home again where she dates a 12 year old um but I don't

like that for her now I think I think Reese is like really confident in her in her you know age and her maturity and I think she'll want someone who validates that like someone on her level I really I don't see her dating someone younger I really don't but I feel like her being with Jim was like making that choice you know like yeah true like she was going into the business world more like she's really in a serious relationship like I think whatever she does next will be divergent from that not saying she's going to go younger but she I don't know that that it's gonna be what you're saying it's interesting you know you always like then just choose the opposite of what you've had right Right. Just as like a knee jerk reaction.

Might be with like a backup dancer after this. Right. Very Casper smart. Yeah. No, that's a good point. It's also just hard when you're such a powerful woman. A lot of people can't handle that. Right. But that's why I think a lot of powerful women for a number of reasons, but one of them being this, they go younger because young guys,

they're not in competition with you. Like so and there's already like a college right there's already a power imbalance because of the age yeah like so what's a little you know what's a couple billion it's not competitive whatsoever such a good point so there it is makes you think and because they can right no and it's fun. Like who, no offense, who wants a saggy ball sack when you can have a fresh one? Like, I get it. I get it. Yeah.

Isn't that why you go younger? You know, perky tits versus saggy tits, perky balls versus saggy balls? Like, I get it. A few reasons, but yes. Aesthetics, yes. Right. Like conventionally, saggy balls are not as appetizing as perky balls thank you thank you for continuing to say saggy balls who wants a wrinkly scrotum

when you could have a you know a big fleshy one I get it I'm human too I get it I get it yeah but I think also after 12 years of marriage with a businessman who's like, you know, probably smart and has opinions. It's like, I don't want you to challenge me anymore. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. No, I don't. I just need someone beautiful.

I just need someone beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. So I wouldn't be shocked either if that's kind of like a rebound relationship for her just to feel something different. I get it. Yeah. But, you know, they were kind of a staple in the industry.

So for sure. And they were very like low staple in the industry so for sure and they were very like low-key to the point where you almost forgot she was married yeah but like then all these articles are coming out that this was like you know no surprise to Hollywood insiders they've been living well but why haven't they told us they've been living separate lives for a while right everyone loves to be like oh I knew yeah totally that's everyone's favorite thing I called it yeah like no I've literally known this for years insiders knew like shut up shut up are you ready for our next story yes but it appears as though you're not. Now I am. Some new relationship news potentially. Oh, this is weird.

Selena Gomez and Zayn Malik spark romance rumors after alleged New York City dinner date. Selena and Zayn sparked relationship rumors after the two singers were allegedly spotted on what appeared to be a romantic date night in New York City. A hostess at a celebrity-loved Manhattan restaurant witnessed Selena and Zayn locking lips

while grabbing dinner together on Thursday night. Clarissa Garcia claimed in a TikTok video that has since gone viral. She told Page Six. Clarissa Garcia is definitely also fired come Monday morning. Yeah, but I feel like, I mean, now she's in Page Six, her TikTok went viral.

Probably not worth losing your job, but it's worth a shot, you know? It like isn't worth a shot because people who like make videos like this, they definitely have a moment. It's a flash in the pan. They don't really start careers as digital influencers after this. Like, it's the one video. Nobody's, oh, let me follow that girl who one time saw something, you know?

Yeah, but maybe if she has something, this could have just been like a little boost. And she has you know her big thing and we're all gonna be able to see it I don't know she could have just sent it to Dumas but actually I probably wouldn't have believed it she said no one noticed them except for the hostess it was pretty public but no one really cares about famous people in New York did they say what restaurant restaurant? That's also not true. They did not say what restaurant. And that is not true. I totally agree. Not true.

They didn't say the restaurant. They blurred it out. They walked in hand in hand, making out, and she seeded them. I don't know. This is like one girl's account. And she also said like nobody cared.

And I'm just telling you, if Selena Gomez and Zayn Malik walked into a restaurant, no matter how cool it was, people also like Pixar didn't happen yeah okay but let's let's play let's assume that this is they went to dinner do you want to take the making out at face value too sure let's say they're dating let's just say I can't help but wonder what this means for Taylor Swift like that's really where my head went. Please explain why you're.

Well, Taylor Swift's best friends in this world for many years. These aren't like fake celebrity friendships like they're real. Selena Gomez and Gigi Hadid. Gigi Hadid is obviously, you know, very tightly linked to Zayn Malik. They have a child together. What does that mean for Taylor Swift? You know, but also, also you know that also means that Selena has like some inside scoop from Taylor about Gigi and Zayn like lest we not forget

Zayn like smacked Yolanda Hadid and threw her down the stairs with the elder abuse like I can't imagine hearing that firsthand and then being like yeah that's someone I want to date yeah yeah like let me bring my gran to go meet my new boyfriend so he could you know give her a give her the old one too. Yeah. I just, I feel like we don't talk enough about how Zayn Malik was accused of elder abuse. No, no, no.

He was accused and the thing to me is, like, shortly thereafter, like, him and JJ broke up for good. They have not been, like, spotted. There's no going back. It's true. Yeah, it's true. It has to be. And Yolanda filed a claim. It's not, like, so-and-so said. Like, Yolanda said. There were papers. Yeah. It's true. It has to be. And Yolanda filed a claim.

That was a wild statement. It's not like so and so said. Like Yolanda said. There were papers. Yeah. That's why we know about it. Yeah. And then like Gigi did not go back.

Like it's true. Yeah. I'm in agreement. So yes. Not really like what you want to hear about a potential boyfriend. I feel like Taylor. And I'm sure Selena has even more details about it from Taylor. Yeah, I feel like Taylor has always told the line about a few of her friendships conflict a little bit.

Yeah. You know, because Gigi's such good friends with Kendall and she's such good friends with Taylor. And obviously there's bad blood. Oh, cringe. And she's done a good job. I feel like even when she hangs out with Gigi or Selena they don't hang out together so no yeah she'll toe the line she'll be fine plus she's busy and is probably not paying attention to all of this and I also that I don't believe it that I feel is her saving grace like she doesn't have a responsibility to like you know Gigi or Selena

right now because she has a responsibility to her millions of fans like she's out here doing the most three-hour shows you know twice a week yeah she can't be bothered she's traveling she can't be bothered to be bogged down with petty gossip by the time her tour is over we won't even remember that this was a story yeah so true great call and you don't believe it not Not at face value, no. You know, I just need a little bit more than one person's account. No, and like maybe they walked into a restaurant together. I don't think they were making out. I don't think that they were making out

and nobody cared and nobody took a picture and nobody saw them. Again, just like with my chain smokers call, I think they might've been working on something. Maybe she's working on something with a lot of different people, has an album coming out. They got dinner after studio time. I don't think they might have been working on something like maybe she's working on something with a lot of different people has an album coming out like they got dinner after studio time I don't think I actually I wanted to tell you um last week I forget where I was but I met a toaster who was just delightful and she was like by the way I was at the bowling alley next to Drew and

Selena like I was the one who like took those photos that went viral and they were making out the whole time they were they were and she was like it was like the craziest thing that ever happened to me I was like oh my god yes queen and she didn't have a photo of them making out she did and it didn't make it to the airwaves I don't know why it didn't make it to the airwaves you see the photo I uh did not you have to question everything but I do no I know but I don't think a toaster would lie to me like for real no I don't think so either but like that's an account I believe you know but I don't know this girl but now I know the Selena the the Drew witness I don't know this witness I don't know turdy Lou and sir didn't happen literally you want to know why you want to know why i feel like these two situations are different because when the drew and selena thing happened the person

who took the photos didn't like try to get famous off of it they just like put the photos out and like tmz got him like the whole story being centered around one woman makes me feel like it's very possible this is like a a stunt, you know, like because now we're all talking about Clarissa or whatever her name was. Yeah. That makes me a little suspicious. Well, Clarissa is not the hostess. Sorry.

Clarissa's friend is the hostess and texted Clarissa. So now we're two degrees of separation. That's even more broken. It's telephone. Yeah. And the text messages from Clarissa go, are you ready for, no, from hostess go go are you ready for no from hostess go are you ready for this I'm screaming Clarissa what I'm scared what happened hostess tell me how Selena Gomez and Zayn just walked into restaurant that's blurred

out hand in hand making out and I seated them Clarissa, ha, shut the fuck up. Hostess, girl, everyone's out here feeling bad for Selena. Meanwhile, she's with Gigi's baby zaddy. Okay, so now, I didn't realize that. That is another layer of. Sorry, that's confusing. Clarissa don't even work at the restaurant. Hostess just said whatever she wanted. And she gets to keep her job.

Right, unless somebody at the restaurant can make you know the connection Between Clarissa and potential hostess But they can't because this Didn't happen so every big restaurant Is like we're Gigi and we're Zane and Selena here not us not us Every hostess is safe Not Clarissa sending every VIP

Restaurant in this town into a tizzy Yeah but there's nothing I don't think This is true Interesting okay well I need to wait and see if the more Stuff happens yeah restaurant in this town into a tizzy. Yeah. But there's nothing. I don't think this is true. Interesting. OK, well, I need to wait and see if more stuff happens. Yeah. Same. I'm going to need more than Clarissa's text messages. Yeah. Agreed. Before we dive in, please allow me the honor of telling everyone that today's episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Thank you, Claudia. From websites and online stores to marketing tools and analytics, Squarespace is the all-in-one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business.

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Thefarmersdog.com slash toast. Listen, the Streisbrothers are the most important people in your lives. Start investing in their health. It is worth it. It is. Thank you, Claudia, for that important message. It's a pleasure. Next next story Kelly Clarkson's divorce album is forthcoming it will cover the good the bad and the ugly Kelly announced on

Sunday that she's coming out with a new album called chemistry the talk show host explained in an Instagram video that she came up with the title after her acrimonious divorce from her ex-husband brandon blackstock i feel like we are so like on the cutting edge and like really have made the word acrimonious like i have this revolution yeah this renaissance we love to do that for words acrimonious wench nefarious true the list goes on i was i'll start a list on my phone she said I was trying to find a word that really described the whole thing because I didn't want everybody to think I was just coming out with some just like I'm angry I'm sad like just one or two emotions you know this album is definitely the arc of an entire relationship and a whole relationship shouldn't be just brought down to

one thing so there's you know the good the bad and the ugly kind of thing going on in it. She said chemistry can be really amazing, a sexy, cool, fun thing, but it can also be very bad for you. So she thought it would be the perfect title for the all encompassing record. I mean, respectful queen. This man has literally, you know, robbed her blind, tried to strip her of everything. And she still remains like such a peaceful, respectful co-parent. Even in the music, she's not making a divorce album. It's really probably will be more of like a tragedy. Yeah. Well, I think one, like he's the father of her children. And so you just want to be respectful because they will be hearing this

one day. But two, I think there's a lot of truth in the statement that it's not just like angry sad bad like it's a whole range of emotions you know it's grief and it's loss and it's you know I'm sure some of it is extremely bittersweet and even when you're fighting with someone I know he like you know squatted in the Montana house and there was all this drama but like you loved this person once they were married for uh 10 years since 2013 yeah so almost 10 years like there's a lot of history there and I think that it is reductive to just be angry and that's not true to the human experience no it's a very mature take she's a mature queen so why would you expect anything less like she's not putting out a diss track a diss album what do what do we think

like there's obviously going to be like a lead single called chemistry so what do we think the song chemistry is going to be like sound like it's going to be like uh you know kelly's iconic sound pop but yeah the lyrics are going to be kind of country where they kind of switch up at the end like all these good things about chemistry but then it was like the chemistry that undid them. But like, give me a melody. Oh, this is really your specialty. You do the music. I don't know, chemistry is like a hard word.

You do the music, I'll do the lyrics. You're literally Drew Barrymore, I am Huber. 100%. Chemistry. Chemistry. You don't think it's chemistry I think it's gonna be upbeat where it like builds and builds and builds and like the chorus is like

upbeat and fun and then it ends with like a zinger line where it's like like the music cuts yeah like yeah yeah like we like I don't even want to go there but i could hear it in my head what's the song i made up for selena how did it go oh my god i could have better than a fat not myself i'm not alone too much to dance with your heart yeah but when I only I get lonely in the dark

so good I should have released it so I think it's gonna be pop anthem but then it's like a one-two punch you know what I'm excited about I feel like our generation and like the culture has a entirely new respect for Kelly Clarkson in the last few years. I feel like her brand has like really taken off with the show and her karaoke cover is her Kelly Oki. I feel like there's a whole new audience of people who are looking forward to this. And so I feel like in the past, a lot of the music she released has gone underappreciated. I really feel that way. And I think it's disgusting. And I think like that this is going to be really big for her. She's partnering, not partnering. She's pairing this with her Vegas residency, which was right when COVID started. We had tickets.

She had to cancel it, obviously. And now they are rescheduled for the summer. Yes, I saw that too. She has a 10 date Vegas residency in the works. So that's really exciting. I don't think I'll be able to make it. So I'm just like kind of devastated about that, but I'm hoping that she will do a chemistry tour

and bring it on down here to me. But this is her first traditional album since 2017. Like the fans are ready. It's been six years and I've never pressured Kelly into releasing new music. No, because she's really been killing it in all other aspects of her career and like honestly I don't want this album for a few months because like I've got Luke Combs I've got Morgan Wallen I've got Mimi Webb like I'm booked in busy Kelly right now she said it's coming sooner than y'all think but she didn't drop a date which for me feels like it'll be at least may yeah i need time for sure yeah her also

her titling at chemistry like was giving me like ed sheeran vibes now that we broke down his oh another subject in school another subject in school because we don't know where he goes from here he's done all the math symbols he had he had said in an interview recently, he was asked, he says he has another, you know, symbolic thing up his sleeve. You know what he could do? He could do the exponent sign. You know, the little carrot top. Yeah. I don't know what he would call it,

but something about like multiple of exponential. That's a good title. PEMDAS is better. PEMDAS tour. on the he's going on the pemdos tour i know let me just tell you how never once in my life have i successfully used pemdos in an equation like equation that had parentheses exponent multiply that shit doesn't work like you cannot convince me that it does no it does pemdos doesn't work it does it's a faulty equation it's a fault it's an acronym for a reason it's a lie I think you've just been burned by PEMDAS definitely I think you

have some trust issues and you have walls up I definitely I'm like on an episode of The Bachelor like I have walls you know what you have you have up? You have parentheses up. To your left and to your right. Everywhere I look, I'm just kind of being closed in on. That's so turdy. That's so turdy. It's the PEMDAS she can't solve. That's so turdy.

It's so mysterious. That's so dirty it's so mysterious that's so dirty it's the flashlight she can't see that's so dirty where are her beans yeah that's so dirty it's the flashlight she can't see that's so turdy blame Ben suffer celebrity oh that's really good how is BSC BSC is doing well BSC is home the celebrity has returned thank god and he made it out of the country they let him back in yeah of course Ben was able to find someone somewhere in New York to get his passport to they were flying to Miami Ben was flying through Miami to the Bahamas. Ben waited for them in the airport. Got his passport and flew out to the Bahamas. That's insane.

That's Ben's offer a celebrity. Yeah. I guess people will really do anything for you when you're a celebrity. Thus he got his passport. So was the lesson learned? Of course not. Fuck. I know.

I'm glad he's home and back with his turd though. Me too. Theo really missed him him we know you missed him too oh desperately yeah so sweet hate hate being alone yeah are you ready for a fifth and final story which is some more iconic singing female news yeah oh yeah Adele has extended her Las Vegas residency and is planning a concert film. Adele announced Sunday that she's extending her Las Vegas residency with 34 more dates between June and November and also plans to release a concert film. Saturday night show was the last performance in her original weekends with Adele series that covered 34 dates since last November on the strip. Her representatives said Adele's show will resume

at the Coliseum at Caesars Palace on June 16th and run through November 4th. The June performances will be recorded and released as a concert special. I mean, I don't know why she wouldn't continue. When I was at the show, she literally said, I love doing this. Like, I literally get to be in Vegas for a day and a half I get to be at home in LA for the rest of the week be with my kids my kids love coming to Vegas kids sorry um it's a dream job she's probably getting paid out the ass like this has probably been one of the most successful residencies for uh what hotel Caes? Caesars. Caesars. And it is a real Caesars Palace. Right.

Since Celine Dion, like this is, this is huge. I mean, Celine Dion's was bigger, of course, but I can't imagine one negative thing

for anyone who was involved in this. Like everyone's making money. Everyone's happy. So many videos have come out. Like Adele goes viral every week for something she does. It's so good for her brand.

Yeah, it's good for her image. She's always, I don't know why she would stop and she said when I was there she's like I really don't like touring it's not something I'm comfortable with like I did it once and it was hard like it's a lot of time away from home it's a lot of travel she's not built for that so to take a 45 minute flight once a week yeah and's like, everybody can come to me. And everybody does come. I mean, Kim went,

everyone goes. Vanessa Bryant was just there. I'm trying to go. Yeah. Like, I don't know why she would ever stop. Yeah. But I think this is something that happens with Vegas residencies where I

think it really is so lucrative, so easy. But you get kind of stuck in it, you know? And I don't think she's close to doing that because she's just done 34 shows. She's doing 34 more. But I feel like it can be hard to come out of that cycle because you get into such a good rhythm. And as a performing artist who over the years, you don't have a lot of patterns and everything is so up and down and up and down.

Like you really cherish the stability of Vegas. That's why it's typically used as like a retirement plan. Yeah. But I think it's hard to get out of there. Yeah. I don't think that Adele will have that problem. I feel like she's found a life hack for being a performer. Because she'll still release new music and people can come.

It's not like she's going to be there forever. But I think it might be hard to, especially harder to get back on the road after this yeah because it's just been so easy yeah should but I'm glad should we do a Vegas residency kind of I'm down although when I was on tour I've only in my life ever canceled I think three shows and I had to cancel my Vegas show due to poor performance literally two weeks out like five tickets had sold we're not big in Vegas we're not Vegas is like a notoriously tough market because people don't usually buy tickets unless it's for like Adele till they get there

they see oh let me see Donny and Marie you know yeah so you have to have a lot of faith in the fact that people might show up that day and buy tickets but I was playing a room for a thousand people and I had sold a hundred tickets two weeks out. I was not doing that. Right. And so we have to hope there's like a thousand toasters in Vegas every single weekend. Right. Right.

Okay. Well, we can dream and manifest. The other thing I wanted to talk to you about, TV recap, was Succession last night. I watched Succession. Highly anticipated season premiere for the final season. Truly gave us nothing. The show, you guys, I have to tell you is so bad.

And if you think about, I've been saying this like for so long in any given episode, absolutely nothing happens. If you think about how every season has been so titillating since season one and like where we started in season one versus where we are seasonating since season one and like where we started in season one versus where we are season four episode one like seriously what's changed they still own the company the only thing that's changed now is their all three children are beefing with Logan but it's like they could literally turn him around stab him in the back each one of them six times and then like the next day it's like so are you gonna call the kids no let them call me it's like

nothing is permanent no betrayal is permanent like think about what um they've all done not but the one kendall kendall i can't ever remember his name think about all the things that kendall has done and yet he still like has his inheritance even like right i think logan likes playing this game with his kids um they're kind of only the only worthy adversaries for him only because they have his resources at their disposal so it's just like he gets to spar with himself um I mean he is sparring with himself because they're buying that company with the money they made from Waystar which is their dad's company they're literally like the definition of entitled nepo babies no the definition and I think people like who watch the show are rooting

some people are rooting for the kids and think like they're not me sure no not me whatsoever but like if you listen to what the kids say like they never say a word of substance everything they say is nonsense every idea they have is bad they really think that they like are doing something and that they have like they know what's best for the world and for culture and like they're literally so fucking dumb yeah and the fact that Kendall values Pierce at like six seven billion which is probably worth let's say 7.5 he was low balling them let's say eight even but they paid an extra two billion dollars to end the conversation like do you have any concept of one dollar when Roman was the only one like trying to break it

down for them like oh we just paid an extra half a billion just to end the conversation like what that's 500 million dollars right like what that money could be used for other things so like I don't understand how after this they have any money left to their name and really like they have this opportunity to do whatever they want with their lives to create the companies that they wish to see in the world that they hoped that Logan would have created all these years and instead they're going to take 10 steps back just to fight with their dad again. And go buy an old ass basically another version of ATN. Which they've hated all these years and they think is so backwards they're going to buy that just to fuck with him instead of like starting something new and light on their feet with for far less money and like trying to do something new. No instead like their relics just

like the relics that they make fun of. So this my first time watching um succession I feel like maybe last season I had caught up with like the last three episodes left so I really binged it all and watching it in full is much more exciting because episode by episode like really it was boring like I was bored yeah no and every episode there is like a countdown clock a call has to be made within the next 24 hours or 48 hours for a contract to be signed we never actually get to the signing of anything nothing actually ever changes or gets done we just get people negotiating on the phone and like talking so slowly with so many filler words like uh yeah um well so uh like and they literally put all that stuff into the dialogue i watched with captions on me too and the way that these people speak in like such broken sentences and and if you

if someone will say a bunch of words and like when you distill it down to what they've said they've said they've said absolutely nothing yes yes and that's like the vibe of the show though right people just talking To like hear themselves. Speak. And then of course. Last season. Like Tom. Big bad Tom. Like he's.

You know. After all these seasons. Like he's finally having his comeuppance. And like no. He's still the same shit he always was. Because he flopped back again. In this episode. And ruined everything.

For Logan. He gave. He tipped Shiv off. He tipped Shiv off. He's the reason why Logan lost this deal. And Logan's right to be like. If we're good. We're good.

Like you don't get more than that. A hundred percent. I just felt like so bored the whole time. Yeah. I felt bored. Except the conversation about Greg's date's purse. Was quite possibly one of the funniest things. Of all time.

Like how they just judged her immediately. Because her purse was a little big. Yeah. But she was also like walking around taking pictures and she was out of control. She was out of control. But that was hysterical. Yeah.

It was very funny. Like little things like that make the show really funny. And a lot of like the characters like quirks. But like last night was just so much like Shiv and the kids. And I just I hate them. Hate.

Except for Roman. And Roman needs to go back to the other side. But it's like in every episode like someone will make a final decision we're betraying dad and now it's the next episode and i'm like well you are you ready to go back yet like there's no permanence in anything that happens and nothing has changed since the first season like nobody went to jail over the cruise ship right like even kendall and remember when he left and he was just being such a loser with his like art collective? Yeah.

Like nothing. Now we're back. He's back with the kids. With the kids. Now they own Pierce. Okay. I guess. Like how do they have any money left?

I don't know. Their finances, like I get that they're like uber, uber, uber, uber, uber, uber wealthy, but like it really confuses me. Yeah. Like they're all using all the money that they got from this gojo sale to buy peers so like well i feel like something's gonna happen with this gojo sale because they keep saying 48 hours it's not done

yet i think that logan should cancel it so the kids don't have the money to buy peers yes duh but like but then he also doesn't get the money but it's like why did he need to sell it in the first place what was the problem a while ago that because it stunk no and like an FBI what happened with them uh right no like oh one thing about me is like half the shit that goes on in the show in terms of like business completely goes over my head like I have really no idea what's going on at any point yeah but you know like the big ideas which is that he's competing for Pierce with the kids in this episode. Yes.

Yes. The stuff in the past I genuinely don't remember. Why did Logan have to offload the company so hastily? Right? Because like they wanted him out. Who's they? The board. Remember that guy Adrian Brody.

Adrian Brody. Right. They wanted him out. And the company also like stinks like they have like no nothing big they wanted to buy gojo but then it was like actually gojo could buy us yeah yeah no i don't remember okay so now gojo doesn't buy them okay so what so we're back to season one episode one exactly it's so like nothing ever happens they were just always on the phone and like they're always on the phone it's just so stupid and nobody trusts anybody else like that one the kids like don't

even trust themselves or their own instincts at least Logan I constantly confuse Logan and Kendall but at least Logan trusts himself but like the fact that those three kids can't trust that like they're actually gonna be loyal to one another or they don't even trust the fact that those three kids can't trust that, like, they're actually going to be loyal to one another. Or they don't even trust the decisions that they make. They don't even know if what they do is like the right move. They're actually not smart business. No, they spent three months like luring investors into the hundred, which is just like masterclass. Right.

It's like a startup that's been done a million times. Yeah. Yeah. And it's extremely pretentious and elite and like only for a handful of people right they're willing to walk away from all of that which they thought was a good idea but they're not sure that it's a good idea because oh there's this old dinosaur that's up for sale that our dad wants right right no it's moronic let's pull all of our money to fuck with him like ben watched the episode with me and he has no idea what the show's about i just basically told him like these

are the kids and that's the dad and i honestly feel like it probably wasn't even hard for him to catch up because all the shit that's happened in the last four seasons like doesn't even feel important no it's not important right it doesn't feel relevant to this current storyline like why am I supposed to mourn the loss of Shiv and Tom's relationship when like they've never been in love or had any so I went on Twitter last night to see like if people were talking about the show and like, you know, if I missed anything. What's there even to say? What did they say?

People were like, this scene is so beautiful. Like them holding hands being like, we gave it a go. Such a stunning portrait of a marriage. I was like, these people are fucking delusional. Like this is not a marriage that's even remotely relatable in any way it wasn't really ever real no um and we're supposed to be mourning it I felt no emotions no it was a beautiful I feel like was the point it was a beautiful apartment stunning uh that's crazy but like Tom isn't like a real person you don't feel empathy for Tom he's like this caricature. And he has no scruples.

He's just looking out for number one. I think when he ties, when he attaches himself to someone else, like if he could just be loyal to the person that he attaches himself to, I thought it was Kendall, but then he like had to go and call Shiv. Like I would be able to. You thought it was Logan.

Sorry. I thought it was Logan, but then he had to go call Shiv. I would have been able to have respect for his, at least loyalty considering yep it's not like he's an ingenue and so in the last episode of season three when he chose kendall and went and warned kendall i had respect for him for like making a choice shiv treats him like shit wants an open relationship and like he he's going straight to the big man but then literally literally like that, the respect is lost. And it's so funny how if you probably look at the tweets

from like season three, season finale, like Tom's a man, like Tom's a, and now what do you think? No, but that's so Tom. Like I actually feel like Tom is probably the most well-developed character. Like he's so spineless and he's constantly being spineless and he's

constantly like exerting the little power he has over like people underneath him, like Greg and like abusing it. He's really this like insane fucking person. Yeah. But the thing is, I would have thought that his character developed, but then in this episode that he had to call ship and say the Naomi Pierce

thing and ruin the complete. So Tom, so he hasn't developed at all. No, but I'm saying Tom as the character like is so detailed. Yes, yes. Like you know who he is. I, yes, as a character on a television show, but as a real person, like no. None of these people like are really relatable in any way in the way that they think.

Like having no scruples no loyalty no one they can trust and like being okay with that yeah and just being like so miserable in their lives when it's like why don't you just go enjoy your life and stop worrying about fucking with your dad just like say hey thanks for the billions right i'm gonna go get on my own thing instead of like constantly festering in this horrible environment the kids are the worst except for roman except for roman but he's siding with the worst right now so he is part of the worst but even when he chooses kendall's side sometimes like he's done in the past like he's not fully on that side either yeah he's just always on the fence you mean logan sorry logan it's why

is it so confusing because like the names give it's like yep yes i know you're gonna say that woman's tiktok where she's like yeah names that feel the same if you like the name logan for your baby but you can't use it because you know someone else had it try kendall by the way they they look the same like they feel the same they are the same yeah i don't confuse kendall and shiv or kend Kendall and Roman no I know Roman is Roman they have the same like phonetic structure it's something that's a plot hole 100% at the end of the day I stand with Logan eternally he's the best character I stand with Logan too and also so many times he starts saying something and I was like oh this is the part of the show where Logan loses his mind he has you know he's dementia riddled and

it's time for him to retire but then he when he was watching ATN at the end or when he was at the diner with his bodyguard yep I was like oh Logan's lost his marbles every time they like zoom in on him slowly when he's watching TV and he goes to call someone and he like literally can't even move his hand to call. He's like. And he starts like babbling something. I'm like, Logan's lost it. And then it comes out.

And I say to myself. It's like, oh, fair point. Facts. That guy does look like a thumb. I always think I'm like, oh, this is how the show ends. He's sick. He's going to die and none of this will have mattered yeah like how does the show end the show is about succession it's about like the line of

succession like does Logan die does he finally hand over the keys to someone is it one of the kids like how does this show end I think I think the way it started the kids come back on board and they're in line whenever Logan chooses to retire and by the way the way it started the kids come back on board and they're in line whenever Logan chooses to retire and by the way the whole issue with the show the whole reason they're even fighting is because Logan won't retire because their dad won't die fast enough right they're so evil they're so evil so I think it'll go back to the way that it was where the kids come over to Logan's side they also own Pierce now they have an even bigger empire right and if you could just fucking wait for your dad to die instead of kicking it into the grave it will all be yours yeah but which kid that was the whole point oh

well that's something they have to sort who's running pierce they still have to figure that out amongst themselves kendall logan is never gonna choose one of them though he should choose roman even though roman is also disgusting you have to remember and I know he's but who is it a little disgusting some really like perverse stuff not even the Jerry pictures like um like with the girl I forget what it was but he's like he's really degrading and like he has some clear mental health issues yes yes but he seems to be the better person of the three of them yes I agree and he seems to be the better person of the three of them. Yes, I agree. And he seems to be the one with like the slightest bit of family loyalty.

Yes. And who do you dislike more? Shiv. Kendall or Shiv? Shiv. Shiv. I really like Kendall is far and away like the worst because he's also really easy to hate. But Kendall has been so

humbled I know but it's nice yeah I know it's nice when somebody's so evil like gets what comes their way like it's it makes them more likable yeah Shiv is just like constantly floating through life like bulldozing and no consequences seriously I think she's morally superior to everyone she thinks she's the smartest person like even when she was opening the door at the pierces house and like coming in with her new offer when she had the 10 million she had this fucking smirk on her face i just wanted to slap it off she was like 10 million billion i like i just i really don't like her i really don't like her as well she it's like they all got together and said how can we create the most unlikable character in the history of television and shiv roy was born the thing is like people

who watch this show like one love it and i think people i like the show a lot i think people like love shiv that's crazy i think people are team kendall over logan people are team kids. But even when it was Kendall versus Logan. And the other two were just. That's insane. The other two were like working for Waystar Royco. That's also weird. A lot to say. Agreed.

Waystar Royco. They were working for the family business. And still like talking to Kendall. Kendall. So it was really a battle of like Team kendall or team logan like people on this earth a lot of people were team kendall maybe even like the majority of people yeah l to the og dude be the og and i'm playing so good that was the best part yeah zude be the og but it was it was terrible it was horrifying but somebody like kent like kendall would do that like that level of narcissism like thinking that's a good idea yeah but also like the

thing about logan is like even though he's so smart and this and that it's like he's actually not because he has nobody worthy to leave his empire too right he's surrounded by enemies family like so what so so what's all this for that's a great but i think he also fostered this environment of competitiveness and like mistrusting of the kids and i think a part of him also likes it yeah he's He's created his own enemies, but he, he, I think he likes having enemies. Yeah. Well, it keeps you on your toes.

Yeah. So hopefully more happens next week because I was unsatiated. Nothing's going to happen next week or anything. But then when we watch the season finale, I think we'll be able to say what happened in this season. Right, right, right.

I think, I hope. A girl can dream. A girl can dream. A girl can dream. So that's our show. Nice long one for you. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it got you to lunch.

Maybe even dinner, depending on when you're listening to this. Have an amazing day. Thank you so much for listening to The Toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast-paced stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

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