The Toast - I Love Your Calls, Claudia: Thursday, March 19th, 2026

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

1. Dakota Mortensen Breaks Silence on Domestic Assault Investigation with Ex Taylor Frankie Paul (PEOPLE) (14:09) 2. Miley Cyrus Says Selena Gomez Will Appear in Hannah Montana Anniversary Special Thanks to Alex Cooper (PEOPLE) (38:50) 3. Bravo Hits Pause on ‘The Real Housewives of Miami’ Amid Low Ratings (Variety) (39:49) 4. Brooks Nader, Livvy Dunne and more stars make their red swimsuit debuts on set of the ‘Baywatch’ reboot (Page Six) (45:15) 5. ‘The Masked Singer’ Reveals Identities of 14 Karat Carrot and Stingray: Here Are the Celebrities Under the Costumes (Variety) (47:08) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Toast Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Toast Merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Camper & The Counselor⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lean In Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Jackson, Claude and neighbor show the fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off, swirly. It's the toast. I sound amazing. Welcome back to The Toast and happy Thursday. Thursday. Thursday. Oh, you're just like too busy to say Thursday? Yeah, I'm just too busy. Okay.

You want to know something about us today? We're wearing coats? We're both wearing little jacket. It's fucking freezing. I mean, it is in the 60s today, which makes you wear a jacket. But there's a difference between like wearing a jacket because you're cold. and then also like it's part of our outfits and we both like incorporated jackets into our outfits today. I don't know why you're acting so surprised. Like we're extremely stylish. Well, individuals. But I also just meant

sympathico. Of course. That we know. It's a sympathetic of nature that I'm remarking on. We're kind of like Irish twins, don't you find? No, if anything, Olivia and I are closer in age. Sorry. I just would like to point out once again not supporting my calls. Like I'm just going to start pointing it out. Thank you. And I just saw I saw one person. What are you want me to say? Like, we're not Irish. But we are sympathy column. Like we have it. We're not just sisters. Like you couldn't even understand a little about what I was saying.

Yeah. We're more than just sisters. No, I guess we're Irish twins in the sense that we're not, we weren't born twins, but like we act like twins. Okay, so you're agreeing with Michael.

I guess that's how I feel about Harry and Charlie. Like they are being raised like twins. Great. I have twins. And I am supporting your call in that. Like I think Charlie really thinks he's a twin. I think that like I have triplets, you know?

Yeah, for sure. Oh. I have the love of three triplets. Who? Like which three are you referring to? Ruby Ruby, Ruby. Like there's so much love there. How are you, Charlie Ruby?

What about that? I might as well, like, have had three children for how much, like, I, how much love there is. Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's another good call. No, it's one of your best. Did you finish Secret Lives? I did. I was up so late finishing Secret Lives.

You had to finish. We're recording early this morning. This episode's going to drop before the sun comes up, things, daylight savings. Because we're also recording a very fun Patreon after this. So it's just a busy, busy, busy. But yes, I had to finish so that, like, we could discuss in full. with context and everything. And it will be the first story

is like the latest news and our thoughts on Slamma Recap because that's the lead story. Did want to update everyone our businessman of the week has been updated and I think it was time for no offense, Dr. Mike.

Love you so much. But Connor is doing a lot of great work. It's kind of turning into good husband of the week. The theme is supportive partners. Yeah, which is a good thing to celebrate but that's not what the frame is for. Actually, the thing about Connor

is the reason why he's in the frame is like because he's not a businessman. He quit his job. No, he's the magician of the week. Right. What's so funny about us, Do I hear what's so funny? It's like we said we would.

Do I ever? This is, this is it, okay? We said we wouldn't do business women of the week because like fuck feminism, whatever. But inadvertently, every business man of the week has been a man who supports a women in business. So we are inadvertently uplifting women in business by celebrating the men who allow them to do it. Only the last two, by the way. No, but also the inaugural, Paul Salem, it was all about Nicole Kidman. Yeah.

Dr. Mike to support Bridget so that she can be a boss babe. Connor to support Whitney so she could take over the world. Like even though we said it wasn't about business women, like, okay, let's just course correct then because I don't want it to be a bad business way. Ergo, it's about, no, no, we can't help ourselves. I know. That's how, like, it kind of also just feels like the frame.

That's how majorical we are. It kind of more so just feels like the frame is like celebrating just the person of the moment. I think it's celebrating great humans. Okay. People who use the word humans. I hate. Yeah.

I need that energy. people have for the word moist like let's use it for that i have a couple words that really bother me like that okay obviously any of claudy's calls no no no like obviously empathy only because it's overused it's overused yeah it hurts you know what's getting up there narcissist yeah there were two things i saw this week i didn't watch southern charm reunion but i saw a teaser clip of like everyone calling craig a narcissist and that's not a good use of the word it's not a good use of the word like we've seen Craig on TV for a very long time. He has his fault. Sure. Right. Narcissist. Like, we are overusing the word when it's like really one of the most damning labels you can slap on someone.

Yeah, but that's like so the culture to like overuse a label. You can be selfish without being a narcissist. I think selfish is self-centered, conceited. That's not narcissism. No. You know, I think people just say now when they don't like someone. Like that's not going to work. Someone who's selfish. That's not narcissism. Yeah. Narcism is like a true sociopathic label. Like a psychotic behavior Endangering others around them So also as I'd say, please welcome our businessmen of the week, Connor Leavitt. And yes, we know that their last name is Leavitt.

Like, you don't need to comment that, you guys. Like, we know. We sort of like thrive on saying it wrong. We thrive on pronouncing every letter in a word. You think we don't know the last name, Leavitt? Like, what about my friend from middle school? Sammy Leavitt. Sammy Leavitt, who does the...

And with that, the 2026 season comes to an end. That is literally our favorite fact. That's our claim to fame. That we like know him and went to school with him. Yeah. And he does it every year. And Ben also knows him separately. Like he's just sort of in our orbit.

Correct. That's our claim to fame. He's sort of like our North Star. It always comes back to Sam. He was also the oldest one in my grade when I think about, you know, like parents now are more, more parents now, I think, are holding back their children from starting kindergarten so that they can like have an extra year on their peers, which people didn't do when we were growing up.

up. You only were held back if you couldn't cut it, not preemptive holding back. So I always think about Sammy Levitt because he was the oldest in our grade. And it's like, will I have a Sammy Levitt or will I have a Jacks because I was the youngest. Oh, so this is definitely like a you experience. Like I didn't think about it at all as a July baby. Oh yeah, you were right middle of the pack. You don't even realize how special that is. You always focused on your summer birthday. Well, let's talk about that. So you got to be completely average, which is all you want to be growing up. It's so true. You don't want to be big and you don't want to be small.

Yeah, never thought about like my age. in regards to my peers. You were never like the only one who didn't turn 21 yet and couldn't go to the bar. You weren't the first one who had to like go and wait for everyone else.

Luser friends. Also, I feel like what you're referring to my version of that is like the alpha of that. Yes, that is your version of that. Yeah, like having a last thing that started with O and like all my best friends. Ashnorf, two twins. Ashnorf, Ashnorf, Ashnorf, Shatreat.

See, everyone, like literally everyone was at the beginning. Being an O was so hard. There actually was a year that I thought about going by because we do have a, for our middle name, we have our moms made a name. So, like, I thought for many years about, like, registering at school. It would have been easy. A lot of people did, like, hyphenated.

It's just, like, a hyphenated, G. And that would have put me G in, like, the first half of the alphabet. And, like, I don't know if it was our school in particular or just all schools. Like, the alphabet, like, we lived and died by the alphabet. Like, splitting up for buses, like a school trip, like literally everything. It was really hard for me. Arguably harder than having a summer birthday. I think so, based on what I know about you and what you've shared.

I think that's a really good call. I think Olivia, though, like still has a really good call that the alphabet is your months of the year. Thank you. Now I need to point out every time I do. Well, you'll have a hard time. Claim your good calls.

You'll have a hard time. You only see the negative. You would have just missed that one. You wouldn't have said it if I didn't. You wouldn't have said it if I didn't point it out. Miss me with that best. Stop. I don't do it.

Oh, yeah. You didn't tell everyone. You're sick. And I'm such a hard. working woman that like I still came to work today. Like sometimes when I wake up sick, I'm like, I wish I just went into marketing, you know? Because then I could call in sick. And sometimes when you wake up sick, like you could send Ben.

You could have, I could have, if Ben, but we actually have a busy morning. I'm doing our Patreon. It's very specific. We do birth charts. They printed them out of everything. Yeah, no, like we have our birth charts. Like Ben can't do this. Ben can't do this.

No, he can't. So like you actually couldn't have missed today. But like, also that to say, like the virus that's been running through our family has finally hit me. I feel like garbage. And if you could just be supportive of my calls today. or you can just give me that breast. Like, what if we just lactated?

Like, we breastfed right here. Well, I was going to say, do you need breast milk? Do you have on you that's not in your breasts? No, like, I could hand express. Yeah, hand express into a cup. I'll take a shot. Would you really? Yeah.

That's so funny. I'm so Charlie of you. I mean, I drink, like, tequila and the tequila's disgusting. No, like, seriously, breast milk is magic. I gave some to Charlie this morning. Let's see the trans for me. All right. Let's see.

Like, after the show. Offline, yeah. Yeah. You don't have to hand express on the show live. Thanks. Thanks. And it's really sweet of you. That's a great call.

If you wanted to. That's a great call. If you wanted to, I think that could be like a good boost in numbers, but obviously you don't have to if you don't want to. Thanks so much. So yeah, like I'm sick and I'm a hero.

It's funny how like going into work when you're sick, like before COVID was like a heroic thing. Like, oh, she works so hard. And now it's like you're evil. You're killing people. Like the disabled.

Yeah, right? Granny killer. But it's like I'm just a business owner. I should be in the frames, businessman of the week. But we said it can't be a business woman. And that's,

There's a lot of things about me that's extremely manly. All of our segments, it's just why it becomes hard not to anoint ourselves, Queenie of the Week. It's so true. That's the thing about Queen of the Week. The unspoken truth is that it's us. Obviously. And like the fact that we don't give it to ourselves every week only further makes us bigger Queenies. Good call.

Thanks. True, David. Yeah, let's dive in. I want to talk about Slamu. Me too. I can only like hold myself back. fucking late watching it and I need that to pay off in some capacity. Without further, do-to-do here are the fast-fi stories that you to do need to know.

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Welcome. Dirt G1. You're welcome. Our first story. Dakota Mortensen breaks his silence on the domestic assault investigation with X Taylor Frankie Paul leading into our Slamu recap. So Dakota is speaking out for the first time amid reports this week of a domestic assault investigation involving him.

TFP. He said to Entertainment Weekly, his number one son, his number one priority here is protecting ever. He, uh, at least someone's saying that. His rep said he knew there was a possibility it could come out, but he was not going to be the one to proactively do that because he has always wanted a decent relationship with Taylor. It's been really hard to achieve that he wants to co-parent well. So having now watched the season. Yes. Okay. So now that I finish it up, and do you agree that there was like a major lull in the middle of the season? Like, and then the last two

episodes just were amazing. And for, no, actually, the, The lull for me was the reunion content and really like circling the drain on last season and to me and Marciano and all that jazz. Right, because to me it was like wasn't even a cast member of the season. Yeah. So when I'm now reading this, and I don't know why up until last night I would have maybe like took what he said at face value. I don't believe a word this man says. Like I think that he is so much worse than we even realize. I think we were talking yesterday about how he sabotages every premiere for her.

I think in the month leading up to The Vachelorette, he did everything he possibly. could down to the last minute to ruin this for Taylor. First of all, I cannot believe how close they were still talking about their relationship. She's literally in the car. She says, I got to get out there filming. We're going to start her stepping out of the car and she's coming off the phone with Dakota. It does not bode well for her being able to have like a real lasting relationship. And she is not without fault.

Well, so that's so funny that you said that because I feel like yesterday I came on here being like I could actually really see like, you know, Dakota being the aggressor, the abuser and like all of this is like, And then when I watched those last two episodes and the way she reacted to the Shania thing, on all fronts, blaming everyone but Dakota slept with him that night, literally so mean to Miranda. Like, I really, and you know what? I get confused because I know Layla is like 23. And so sometimes I have to chalk up these girls being like so immature to the fact that they're immature.

Taylor, Frickipal is my age. She's 31. Like, I didn't realize that until they have their ages up the whole time, which I appreciate. At your big ass age, you're still acting like this. like you're a mom now of three when she did not get on the plane and her mom and her sister were like shuffling all the kids through the airport and they didn't even know Dakota slept over that night. Like I lost any last real ounce of respect I had for her and I don't like she's indefensible. Like she is.

No, she is completely wrong. Dakota knows how to get under her skin but she lets him. It ain't hard. No, it's not hard. But he does it and he gets under there and he pokes and he like abuses her. because he knows how to. And again, like, she picks up the phone. Yeah.

And she, but they also have a child together, so she has to be in his life. But, like, she's just not strong enough to say, like, this is enough for me. Go do whatever you want with whoever you want. And I'm not going to let it affect me. And it's actually insane. The one thing Taylor, Frankie Paul, like, really needs in her life

that she does not get from anyone is tough love. When finally, when all the girls go over to her house at the very end and Jesse, like, finally, like, is annoyed with her. Like, no one is mad at her. Like more people need to be mad at her. I think the one time they got mad at her on the show, it really backfired with the CMAs. I think they're scared of her fans.

Yeah. Like when the CMAs happened and it is weird that nobody commented anything and it was like a big moment for her, but whatever. And she like went on the war path online and then everybody else gets so much hate. And when we all watched that season, we weren't not on Taylor's side.

We're like, yeah, why didn't you guys comment? We weren't mad at her for like lashing out. And that's also what Jesse says. It's like her fans then are like, she's so authentic, she's so real, she's so vulnerable when she's like posting crazy shit about Chenaya. She has never really felt the brunt of her, um, actions. Like the consequences, yeah.

Not from a public opinion standpoint. Like even when she got arrested. Yeah. Even when the swinging thing, thing, all of those things just made her career bigger. And so she doesn't really like, if she had a real cancellation, the way like. Well, it's happening now with brands pulling out. Yeah. But it's like, did she?

even do the thing that's happening now? I believe that she did. You think she? Yeah, I saw such a deeply unwell person. And then also going on, The Bachelor, is not like a good experience for your mental health. But you know what's so funny? We were saying that, like, it seems like ABC is going to position this as like a

healing season and then going to send her off into The Bachelor, like a healed individual, although they ended it saying she might be pregnant and she was talking to Dakota the second she got out of the car. So I kind of feel like ABC might not be like totally unhappy with her. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think they are embracing the chaos. But it does sort, not that the Bachelor is like, such a sanctity.

Right. It does. Like, the person who is the bachelor or Bachelorette needs to be completely open, ready, and willing to receive. They try to, like, keep the integrity of the concept. The integrity of the concept, not someone who has, like, one foot out the door

might be pregnant. She's obviously not. She's obviously, I mean, she's not pregnant right now. But yeah, I don't know why they would mess with that format and make the Bachelor, like, trash, honestly. But this whole thing is so trash. eligible people who are really yeah there's always a villain and whatnot but like it's really people in earnest who would like to find love and who are ready and aren't like gonna run back home

the whole airport like the last couple like it was bothering me so much like I was getting annoyed that no one was getting annoyed with her even Miranda like nobody the way she was talking to everyone like nobody talks back to her like no wonder she's a fucking monster and honestly now I'm rethinking that scene where her dad was being mean to her like you know maybe somebody needs to be mean to her. Like, I've never really had like a huge issue with the way that her parents try to get through to her. And also, like, now that we know so much, like, her dad who like adopted her and has loved her from every minute, like, love him. And she's so hung up on like the father who doesn't want to be with her, who kicked the mother by the reservoir and was a drug addicted individual. But, and that makes her feel not chosen when like this man, Jeremy chose her over and over and over again. And so like that's the, you know, and the fact that she has to go chase down this. Obviously she doesn't know a ton about her.

biological dad, but enough to know that her mom had to leave him. He was addicted to drugs. Oh, the poor mom being dragged through Colorado. And the mom, like, won't even talk about these things. So she's, like, taking her mom on this trip to, like, relive her drama. And yelling at her the whole time. Chase down the ghost of her father, who's not a good guy. Yeah.

When you have, like, good people in your life who want to be there for you. But it's like, no, what about my dad? I want to learn more about my dad. Right. It's hard to understand that desire. And the whole time she's being so mean and screaming at her mom. Yeah. And her mom is, like, breaking down on the side of the road.

Yeah. It was a weird trip. No, and it's like you have to like really learn about the ins and outs of your mom's abuse in order to like feel sorry for her. You can't just like take her up face value. The woman who was there for you, who raised you, who did everything for you. No, the one who ran away and started a new family and never wanted to see you even when you're four years old. Correct. Correct. And what's so interesting is that like obviously Taylor Dakota is like the big thing, but there were so many interesting stories happening in the last couple of episodes. Wait, I had just one more thought about Taylor and Dakota.

And I know that we're really mad at her and when she wasn't getting on the plane and that she was sick and like she's just such. to self-sabotage her, but I started to feel really bad for her. Because if, say, she didn't go on The Bachelor and she was like, I'm going to give this a shot with Dakota, or she does the Bachelorette and then comes home and is like with Dakota, she will like never get out of this cycle. It reminded me, you know that scene in Maid? People say that they're like Lucy and Stephen. No.

You know the scene in Maid? You ever watch that show? Of course I did. It was amazing. When she's finally getting out and she gets a job and, but then for some reason she has to go back and looking at the trailer again. They have her like. She's laying on the couch and the couch sucks her up.

Yeah, and that's like what will happen to Taylor if she doesn't find a way to break free. And I feel like she didn't break free from after Bachelorette, given like what we know is going on now. And I am seriously, as much as I'm mad at her, worried about her. This will not end well. No. Like very deeply concerned. And yes, she's pushed away everyone and that's on her. And she needs to fix the personal relationships in her life because she has good people.

She has her. Yes, people who really care about her. And forget the women because, like, they. are there for her to their own end. You know, they realized it's more profitable to be a supportive friend to Taylor and an enabler than it is to like actually call her out and treat her the way you would treat a friend. But she has her family who are there for her. And I just, I am very worried about her.

Okay. And I'm also like I'm not convinced that maybe her and Dakota are toxic and they, you know, choke each other and whatever. I don't, I'm not convinced that she hurt her child and she said that she did. Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that. Those are really two separate things to me. Yeah. But I think while maybe like neither of them like put their hands on their child, like having

these sort of. Slaying this behavior in front of your children is abuse. Yeah. It's neglect. It's abuse. And the kid is honestly. And that's the other thing about the grandparents. Ever is always at the grandparents house.

Even the fact that they were flying with the bigger kids. Whose faces are blurred. Yeah. But it is interesting that Taylor co-parents decently well. We haven't really ever heard anything about her ex-husband. Like they seem to be. And she took them with her to the bachelor. Yeah.

Which is nice. Yeah. She had said, like, that's the only way she would do bachelor's if she could see her kids. But I don't know how often they're going to, like, be there. Yeah. I'm sure we'll find out about it on the show. Mom Talk clearly needs a new leader. Well, she was like always the face of Mom Talk, but never really the one to be, like,

the lead administrator, you know? Yeah, I feel like bigger head position. Okay. You know who's like I feel vying for it, but is not going to get it? It's Layla. And I think it's tough because there are, like, girls from this group that are being selected to get those bigger opportunities. and Layla's not one of them.

And her, like, attempt failed on the show, which was really sad to watch. But she's also the one, like, holding a gun to everyone's head about Mom Talk. So she's kind of, like, the one who cares about it the most. She's like, well, you can't just, like, use Mom Talk to get all these opportunities and then not come back. I think Macy should be the leader. Well, yes, obviously, she's the most sound of mine. She kind of had, like, the most boring season, but, like, that's a good leader.

Yeah. Yeah. She can, like, actually lead. She's interested in, like, opportunities, but also the friendships. She has, I think, the most friendships and the least amount of. Yeah. Also, Jesse would be a good leader. So yes, Jessie would be too, but Jesse, I feel, is destined for lots of personal drama.

Like, the leader needs to be stable, have a stable home life. I actually think Jesse is very stable, not her home life. The cleanup. She, it's funny, like, even when she's in, like, the worst situation, she's, like, smiling, hey, everybody, how's everybody doing? Yeah, yeah. Like, she really keeps it together and compartmentalizes. I think she would also be a good leader.

And she also speaks for everyone. Like, even in her professionals, she's sort of, like, narrating the show and moving it along. telling us about what we're seeing. I think actually she could be the leader. Her pre-up. I really wanted to cry for her. That's awful. I wonder what the wind-up is.

Like, they said maybe. Well, if they end up getting... It only matters if they end up getting divorced. Yeah. How do you, like, go through all that trouble to have a lawyer and not have a witness? I have no idea. I have such a pick.

Because she's right. I forget. But, like, we found out last season that, like, the first four years of their marriage, he was like a verbally abusive, actual evil narcissist. Yeah. And now he's obviously acting,

cosplaying like I'm changed he's like that's not who I am anymore but yeah she said he's a hard person to be married to but he would be a harder person to be divorced because he would completely revert to that version of himself and like if he is changed then why isn't it like working working right if he's changed if he's changed not just on camera now as a zach a stand was last night's episode hard for you to watch it was hard for me to watch because obviously the aflacs are in the wrong although I will say like I don't really clown on Zach for defending his wife no he doesn't know his wife is dead on balls fucking But like even if your wife is wrong, like you go hard for your wrong wife. Except you don't show up in place of your wife to argue with a woman.

You do not. But that's also on Jen because a beyond. Women know that. Obviously. More even more so than men. Yeah. And that's never going to look at it. I don't care if he was in the right even.

That's never going to be a fight that we want to see or a fair fight. I've been like waiting to see their argument while they were in glam and honestly it didn't disappoint. It was really crazy. And I feel like a lot of the women, but mostly, and I was, appreciative that a couple of girls had had Whitney's back, but like, Jen just thinks that Whitney is this, like, insanely manipulative, strategic calculated person, whereas, like, she couldn't even control her emotions. She was so upset in that scene. I felt like, I don't know where

Jen is getting this impression. And then she reiterated that to Zach. And Zach was like, well, were you even sad that she left? Like, using internet drama. Yeah. To like, oh, yeah. And then Zach, like, insinuating that, why are the headlines saying this? Why are people saying this? Like, because it's true, which is just so false and rude. And you also have to remember all the hate that Whitney was getting on Dancing with the Stars. So even though it's like going well for her, she is having a hard time. They're both having a hard time in a different way.

And I appreciate it. I think it was Jessie and her confessionals who said and she was the only person who brought it up and you can't really talk about Jen and Whitney on Dancing with the Stars without really talking about how I think a lot of what's fueling Jen to just like dislike Whitney is that Whitney is succeeding on like another

level and Jen was not like the competition element of it all and it was unfair. You know, they weren't on the same level and she's you know eight weeks postpart of like of like of course it's absurd but like it's hard to see someone who you're like on the same level with like she was gonna win you know and she not only did she not win she got even better it's better that she didn't win because she got to call her daddy moment she got the big dance then she got broadway like it was perfect like well it seems like she got broadway before she got broadway regardless of what happened next i thought like it was

a sort of justice yeah having been eliminated early but no she was always on her way because she was doing such an amazing job so it's like the competition was going better for whitney but public opinion was not on her side. Jen wasn't like doing amazing on the competition, but people like were feeling for her. Feeling for her, voting for her. And then she like threw Whitney under the bus on that live. And I think it made things a lot worse for Whitney. When she is seriously going through it,

the fact that you would add to that, I don't care if that's your friend or not. That's a human being. Yeah. And that is not the right thing to do. Jen just looked like such a loser because she really did not have one legitimate claim against Whitney. It seemed like Whitney had been texting her when she was sick, saying hi in the studio. And she couldn't even congratulate her. And then when she, it's a classic, like, loser behavior when, like, Whitney very calmly was like, you know what it upset me that you didn't like congratulate me on Chicago, you've known for a week. And not only did she deny it, she then started attacking, I'm the victim. And we don't have a genuine

friendship. I mean, I also feel like, I feel like maybe Jen didn't realize like how big of a deal it was. Chicago, because she thought it was in Chicago. Because she didn't really like know what it was. But she has big dreams of being on like a performer and she doesn't even know that Broadway show Chicago's in New York. And so she made the fight about like the other issue she has with Whitney. But like, I feel like it's not that she was like snubbing her by not congratulating her. Like, she just didn't know it was. I guess they always celebrate everyone's little everything. Oh, you got this brand deal. Like, I'm sorry. You can't convince me that everything going on between Jeddah Whitney is, I'm sorry, like, it's just jealousy. Well, that's amongst other things. And it fuels everything. And the obsession with her being friends with

Demi and that also here's the only thing she has to cling to. She doesn't have a real argument against Whitney. No. And so she's mad that Whitney came back for dancing with the stars and is using all these friendships as transactional. But it also seems like Whitney is successfully rebuilding her friendships. And Jenny's under, there is an element of transaction to all of these friendships. Like every single one. None of them are completely pure, except maybe like Macy and Michaela. Everyone else, like, we have a friendship. We have a bond, but this is also a working relationship. So the idea that it's like, it's going to be rainbows and flowers and you can't want something in exchange for something else. Like, is very naive and stupid. Like, this is a business.

And if Whitney comes back for dancing with the stars, so be it. At least she was up front about it. And she happened to also, in earnest repair some of her friendships. And I think that's what makes Jen mad. It's like people have forgiven her. No, but what makes Jen mad? And Jen hasn't because Jen's the one suffering of Dancing with the Stars. Like it should have been just Jen on Dancing with the Stars. If Jen, if we're up to Jen because Whitney's not on Mom talking about.

So then this person like came back, got Dancing with the Stars and like beat you. And they like cheated their way back. They cheated their way to Dance with the Stars because they just came back forth. They weren't actually on a show. But I'm not on Jen's side at all yet. Zach should not have gone in place of Whitney. Jen should never have let him. That was never, ever, ever, never going to be a good look for them.

And now when we talk about, like, should Whitney go back? Like, she's just like light years ahead of all the women and just maturity. And her marriage is in a good place. Nobody else's is like. I think, yeah. I actually think now, like having watched a whole season, like, do not go. The way that I feel now is that this show is like a toilet and you don't want to get flushed down. A little bit of a curse.

Yeah. And like Whitney's managed to escape it. And you know what? Fine. Let's see the show is still really big. Like, at least Whitney will leave, like, with her marriage, her family intact and, like, opportunities outside of it. Like, that was, it was a really upsetting to watch the whole Whitney and Jen thing. And when they were fighting in front of all the women, I know it's, like, not the type of show

where people can, like, step in. But it was so wrong what was happening there. I'm like, Whitney was getting so upset. Like, I felt so bad for her. They're such cheap. All these girls. They didn't know. They didn't know what the right side was.

So they didn't take it. They didn't know how they felt about the situation, who's right and who's wrong. So they didn't stand up for anyone because no one told them. I do feel as though Miranda has a moral compass. Yeah. And she barely said anything, but she, like, took Whitney's side for a second. And then she was the one who, like, rubbed back up the,

what she experienced, the claim. But, yeah, they didn't know. They don't know how the fans are going to feel about that fight. So they're just going to stay out of it. Agreed. There's not a unanimous consensus. I was really willing, like, when I thought about this season, like to give Jen so much grace.

But any goodwill, I feel like it was so gone. Like, that was really upsetting to watch. Like, live, like, everything. It was so mean. Nobody felt worse for Jen on Dancing with the Stars than I did. I actually didn't even vote for her the night she got eliminated because I thought she wanted to leave. That's how unhappy she seemed. And it must be really hard to get that opportunity when you're eight months post, eight weeks postpartum.

And then like your friend is also doing it at like the peak of her physical fitness. But like it's another lesson and like you do not need to say yes to every opportunity. Like these women are running themselves into the ground. Jen should have said no. and I'm sure if she had like worked hard enough she could have gotten it this year yeah of course yeah we're gonna probably have why wouldn't we have more yeah and I'm sure there will be a wife I'm dancing with the stars this year I wonder who it will be yeah maybe Layla maybe Jesse whoever wants it it's theirs for the take and I'm hesitant to bring this up because I know it's a

personal trigger of yours but let's talk about Michaela and Jace thank you so much I almost I almost forgot. So they separated in one of the, why was she the one who left? I almost forgot that the villain of the season is the person who said three words. Is Jace. Yeah. We are not giving this man. Enough hate.

Enough hate for what he's done to torturing his wife who just had a baby to be more intimate with him. Not only did she just have a baby, her skin issues are flaring up again. So she's like trying to get this under control. I can imagine stress would be like the worst thing for that. She's also the breadwinner and the family can't take up. minute off and then he's there like, what am I mean? I can have a kiss. And their connection.

I get out of you. You fucking gross. Everyone was like focused on the connection to the point that they feel they need to separate when you have like a two month old little baby. When they're having a conversation about separating and it's literally like the newborn on the bed, I was so shook. Like he was like, I feel like they were both like sad because like we love each other so much and he was like, I just feel confident like once we get this issue fixed,

we can get back together. And she was like, I just don't think it's fixable. Like, that's what she said. The thing is maybe it's not fixable. Maybe it will be the thing that drives them apart. Maybe it's not fixedable right now, though. But if it is fixable ever, it's not right now. And maybe down the road, they'll see that they can't come together on this.

But like, to be dealing with it and really put it on the time clock when she has a newborn baby, she's working her tail off and she's having health issues, you're a disgusting human to make her separate to have. And she has to leave the house. And why the fuck is she leaving the house? And they have other kids, right? I think they have one other. One or two. With Jace?

Oh, yeah, she brought her grown kid to Jesse's house. That was cute when they all had the media at Jesse's house. Oh, I love when they go over to each other's houses. They're like the toy rooms over there. It was so cute. It's so cute. They all have a playroom. They do have other kids.

They have four together. And you're separate. You're encouraging. And why didn't Jase leave? I think he's so fucking disgusting. Worse than Jordan. No. Not even Jordan made Jesse leave the house when she had a baby.

Yeah, yeah. Claudia. I cannot understand. It was really hard to watch. that you think now's the time to really make the critical decision of saying what you're going to divorce with a two-month-old?

Yeah. After having four children, like divorce, if you're going to divorce and it's not going to be able to work out, like, fine, but can't you like sort of kick the can down the road a little bit and just let this woman... Nobody's intimacy is like thriving two months post-part-up. Let this woman recover and heal. Right. And stress is not good for her health condition.

Correct. And it's like, it seems like he really could only, you know, lay it on his pregnant wife. And now he feels like she had the baby. It's back to let's talk about these intimacy issues. Well, I saw on TikTok that some of her health issues have cleared a little bit because it turns out that they were living with mold. Yeah. That's very real.

We know. Living with the stress of the demon. Yeah. I could not believe what I was watching. So funny. I could not believe what I was watching. I know. Like, separating was a two month old is like Taylor and Dakota.

are like too toxic to me around with the baby. But like you have four kids and now you're not going to be together and like support your family. Yeah. Because you didn't get a kiss. The kiss. He said it's not even the sex. Grow up.

Michaela was like it's not even the sex room. It's the kisses. But like kissing is her trigger. I think it has to do with her childhood sexual trauma. Okay. So it's not. He just wants. And I'm so.

And the fact that all of the steps time because she's being like a bitch, what? Right. Because she's like deeply unheeled. Yeah. Yeah. He is disgusting to me. And then like when Macy's picking her up. And like they, she's like, I'll give you guys a moment.

And they kiss. You could just tell, like, she could not get away from him fast enough. And he's in heaven. He's such a freak. I know. It made me so mad. Like, there's a time and a place for hard conversations, for fights, for making big decisions. It is not when you've just had a baby.

Also, when you've had before. Like, it's not like you sort of fell into it. This is new to you. Yeah. The thing with the Caitlin and Chase also is that, like, one of the weird things about the relationship is that when they met and got pregnant, he was 21 and she was 16. So like it's possible that like he was under the impression when you like, you know, impregnate a 16 year old like you're the one in charge.

But Michaela was like like no, you know? Like I think he thought maybe like he would be the one in control of the dynamic, especially when it came to sex, which is so important to him. And maybe it's just not going down the way he envisioned when he, you know, married a 16 year old. Right. And people change. He didn't realize like the 16 year old he chose was like, you know, had a big good head on our shoulders. Yeah.

No, she really does because she's also 25. Yeah. And she's more mature than Taylor than half of them. Taylor's the oldest one. Isn't that insane? Or no, maybe Jesse is. But Jessie is very mature. Whitney. Whitney. Whitney looks so good. She looks so good. She's right. Like, she has, she's rock solid.

She has to escape, honestly. The show. Yeah. Yeah. No, she's so sound of mind. It's really a strange dichotomy to watch those who are and those who are not. Yeah. She was like, I feel crazy. And it's like, you are crazy because you're like around around it by crazy people. Yes, we'd be the only sane individual in a circus. I just want to say, I loved that they had like a whole shoot day around the title promo,

like that we saw that day. And also we got an explanation for why they're in two separate looks. Like, it's meant to be like a cocoon and then they're butterful. That's funny. They really look like butterfoot, like so stupid. And what's crazy was there was a lot of intent behind that. Yeah, yeah, very thoughtful. And it looked like it just was cobbled together.

Yeah. I will miss my girls. Oh, there's the reunion, right? Do we know anything? Like who's hosting it? No, but we also have Bachelorette next week. Oh, God. I'm going to obviously watch because, like, I'm in it,

but I don't foresee myself, like, sticking with it. And I do need more clarity on the investigation situation. So that's Slamu recap. Who's your villain of the season? After last night, it's Jen Affleck. It was upsetting me, like, deeply. Yeah. Maybe that's because I related to Whitney.

Like, I feel like I'm a really sound of mine individual. Like, and I was just like, it was arguing with a crazy person. Yeah. And I also related to Whitney that like if I'm in an argument with someone and it's something I care about like I cry and it's like I hate that. Like I just I can't even talk without crying. And having to be like I want to be your friend. It's pathetic.

It's pathetic. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Some dis news. We're getting more info about the Hannah Montana anniversary special. Miley says that Salina will appear in the special. I feel like a lot of stuff is coming out like stories and I'm trying not to read them. Like I would like to be surprised.

Yeah. I agree. A lot of like quotes of like things that she said. Things about Jason Earls. I didn't need to kill Hannah. Right, right. And apparently like Hannah was supposed to be like take her wig off in the third episode and then like it changed the premise. Like I don't want to know.

Can I just watch a fucking special in a week? I know. I'm just drop now. Like I'm ready right now and I'm scared. I'm going to be over it in a week. No, not over it, but like could nothing be a surprise. No, but like sometimes if it doesn't happen, you know, when things are too far out. Yeah.

Then I forget and I move on. And like I don't know if I can wait a week. Like there's a lot going on. Yeah, it's annoying. There's so much TV on right now. It's true. I can get to watch a Southern Charm reunion last night, which I will do. Summer House, Rahoba tonight.

You just see that Real Housewives of Miami has been put on... That is a story if you want to just segue to the fact that Real Housewives of Miami has been put on pause. Bravo put it on pause. I mean, the low rating. This is just a bad call. It's the lowest rated show of Housewives. Okay, but don't you feel like they get like no promo or anything? Like, I was actually watching a TikTok today that like, you know, Bravo pushes the new...

I guess people on the internet are calling it phony, the new Roney. they push it so hard. They put it on after Beverly Hills. Like whatever it gets on after, Beverly Hills is the highest rated Housewives franchise. So whatever airs after it, you get like kind of sloppy seconds. Yes. So it's a way of promoting. Like give it to Miami. Like say what you want about Miami.

Okay, maybe it's not highly rated, but like it's a very good show. The Housewives are professional Housewives. They are highly engaged. They have wealth. They have drama. Like it has everything. There's no reason it should be performing so poorly. I don't feel like the network properly. Like I never see those women on Watchtrap and Live. It was like a Peacock Original. Like why don't you give it the actual treatment that you're giving like these

shitty ass franchises. Yeah. Real House House House in New York. Like, I don't know. I feel like this is a bad call. And I also, I just feel like they think they can do whatever they want with Miami. And they sort of like. Do. They set principle.

Like first they canceled it. Then they brought it back. Then they made it a peacock region. Like they're always the trailblazers Miami for like what experiment that they want to run with housewives. And I'm sorry, every era of Miami housewives no matter what like their ratings are, it's always good. I'm sorry. The women are always wealthy. They are so desperate to make the show work.

Like they're insane. I always pop in randomly. And I'm sorry. It's always good. Yeah. You cannot say that about other franchises. So, like, if it's failing, it's not on the women. It's not on the franchise.

It's on the network. Yeah. Like, when do you try? Why don't you, like, support the women at all? I never see them on podcasts. Like, I never see anything. I also just think Miami as a city is just like a good city to have a houseways. So if it's low ratings or it's not working, like switch something up.

Yeah. To pause it when we watch, like, we have all these other like. I mean, the new Vanderpump rules. Like, they're always like the commercials that are on the buses. Like, I haven't seen one ad ever for a house of Miami. Is we're home even airing right now? I don't know. And then that new woman, Stephanie, like, they had good stuff going on.

I watched last season. I didn't watch the reunions, but like, I'm fine with that. And then was there a new season yet? So I'm caught up. Yeah, you are. Except for the reunions. But, like, that's fine. I think this is, like, such a bad call.

So it's a bad call. Not a good call. Yeah, not. I'm kind of, I'm cosplaying you. This is a bad call. Well, I agree with your call that it's a bad call. So I'm being supportive. It's easy for you to support.

I'm being supportive of your call. Okay. Are you ready for our next story, which is some more TV news? If it's our TV news, that's brought to you by Branch Basics. It is. Oh my gosh. My life is brought to you by Banch Basics. I just restocked all my bottles because we were running low.

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Spoon. Welcome. What's the next story? What's the next story? Cheddar Spoon. Any live update. Brooks Nader, Livie Dun, and more stars

make their red swimsuit debuts on the set of Baywatch. So the first pictures have drawn from Baywatch reboot. The turnaround time is just... It's so true. Let's get that energy for the Nightingale, shall we? It's so true. Brooks Nader,

Shea Mitchell, Libby Dun. Brooks Nader, Livy Dun, Noah. Everyone's here. Noah. Beck. Oh, let me see Noah.

I didn't see him. Oh, I saw him in a group photo. Oh, who's that guy? Oh, that's Stephen Amel. Oh, my God. Brooks's new boyfriend for sure. Oh, he's handsome. Oh, my gosh.

I'm so, oh, there's Noah. I just, I maintain that this show is going to be bad, but I'm really excited about these photos. Yeah, they look good. They look great, like, very authentic. Yeah. This would be a great, like, magazine cover and like, let's call it a day. Yeah. But I'm happy for everyone involved.

They seem to be having fun. When we were talking about Sports Illustrated. did swim yesterday. Like, obviously, Brooks for the cover. Obviously. Like, all four of the sisters. Oh, that would, four sisters, one cover, four sisters would be so iconic. Innovative. So iconic. But I do think that Whoopi Goldberg would be more iconic.

Who did I say? Oh, an Olympian. I don't like my answer. Oh, no. Someone had a good one. Utah. Utah Leardom. Just give it to Utah. I do have four covers. Whoopi Goldberg, Utah Leardom. Brooks Nader. And who's our fourth? Jackie.

Oh. please know like actually what is the amount that they would have to pay you don't even want to have this conversation okay fine it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like talking about like when your dreams like ejection relevance i would probably say like like 10 million dollars minimum for you okay i i think that you know they could take it or leave it so anyways bit watch is happening guys and they're looking good like it is it looks like yeah but like the show's not going to be good i just want to know are you ready for carpet and final story. I am. Let me tell you I'm fading. Doing the show sick is not. This show is

going to, this story is going to bring you back up. Okay. It's my fate. It's Thursday. I don't know if you realized. Massinger reveals. Oh, I actually, I usually keep up every week. I didn't, I didn't see this week. Two people were revealed. Oh, really? 14-carat, carrot, carrot. Oh, was it Judge Mathis? Yes. Okay. How do you know that? I read the Reddit. Like, I was on this show. What do you want? Like, you think I'm going to go quietly? Oh, so you let you know everyone's on? Yeah. Okay. Judge Mathits was the carrot, carrot, sleigh. Like, not me and judge and Stingway was revealed as Evan Ross son of Diana Ross and husband of Ashley Simpson so now I'm convinced Galaxy Girl is even more so Ashley Simpson that's cute so I

think Galaxy Girl is Bridget Menler but we shall see and then say this yesterday you're gonna die do you know that Ben had Spencer Pratt on the good guys and when he came home he was like Spencer Pratt was amazing and I'm like well did you talk about Mass Singer he was like why would we have talked about Mass Singer I'm like how the fuck do you do a podcast like you know nothing like he was he on it I'm like his wife was on my season. Oh my God, you need to talk about it offline. With censor.

Yeah. Yeah. You guys need a mass singer support group. Do we ever? Like, we need a therapist in there, too. So now here's who's left. Pangolin? Who do people say that is?

I think they say it's Normani. No, Crane. Oh, yeah. I need to look at the pictures. I don't know like who Pangolin. So Pangolin, Galaxy Girl, Cat Witch, Pug-Cat. Which we know is Kylie Contrell. She's like, for the first season ever, they did like somebody who we know.

Like a secret trader? Yes, exactly. And they document the whole process like on TikTok. Cat Witch, Pugasso, and Crane. And Crane. So we just don't know who Pangolin is. Let me just look at the costume. Yeah, look at the costume and then let us know what your Redditors said.

There's a lot of people left still. It's crazy that you like would have still been there. But not really because it filmed a while ago. You've never seen this one. Let me see. Oh, people think it's very. Rachel Platton obsessed. Oh, that's good.

Maybe she'll win. I think Pugasa will win. If they know what's good. If they know what's good. So that's your mass singer update. And then I just want to say a couple more things about Slamu, which is that a wife will go on dancing with the stars because why wouldn't they? A wife should go on traitors.

Like I feel like later thinks there's like no more opportunities because modeling didn't work out. But like there's no offense. Why do you want to be a bottle? Like modeling for. a lot of people is like a means, but like you're already wealthy and famous. Like what the hell do you want to model for?

Like live in New York. I don't know. But she also, if she does want a model, like for real, she has to get a dramatic haircut. Absolutely. I was actually thinking about her.

Did you see Miranda's haircut? No. She looks unbelievable. It's new. Yep. A couple days ago, she got a bob. She looks insane. She's very pretty.

She's beautiful. What's her last name? Miranda Hope now. She goes by Hope. Oh, right, right. Oh I don't really like it What? What picture are you looking at?

TikTok Okay go to a different one I'm seeing it in action Okay but Oh actually Maybe she's just learning The Wuthering Heights Maybe she's learning

How to style it I'm sorry She looks amazing She looks mature Okay so her and Whitney comment On each other's photos Like they're so good I guess that's good

Yeah Like let's see who comments on Whitney stuff Even though they all comment On everyone's stuff Yeah Remember they said They're so scared not to

Yeah Which was just so funny I can't Like sometimes I just like can't even think of what to comment. Like, I want to be supportive, but I'm like, what do I say here? Go. They're gay comments on her stuff. Go girl. Michaela. Demi. I really, I think that her and Michaela, like, I like their friendship. I think Demi should go on Mask Singer. I think, um,

Macy comments. I think Jesse should go on traitors. Jesse should go on traitors. And I think, like, I need, I need Jesse to have her moment. Like, I need her to get divorced first. And, like, I need her to, like, and have her like big moment. Yeah, well, it seems like people get a moment after a divorce. Good. So. Do Jessie next. Jesse next.

Okay, listen, I love you. We have to wrap this up. I'm like, seriously. You don't want to think of more opportunities for the girls. Let's talk about tomorrow, okay? Okay. And you wrap up. And sleep on it.

Yeah. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the best show on earth. We love you dearly and we will see you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.