The Toast - I Need A Hero: Wednesday, March 29th, 2023

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

Kelly Ripa: 'Live' execs banished me to a janitor's closet instead of an office (Page Six) (25:29) 'Bachelor' creator Mike Fleiss exits franchise after 21 years (Page Six) (34:57) Tristan Thompson buys mansion three houses down from ex Khloe Kardashian (Page Six) (42:32) Succession fans go wild for 'ludicrously capacious' Burberry tote bag (Daily Mail) (46:13) McDonald's Drops a New Strawberry Shortcake McFlurry (PEOPLE) (49:13) Dear Toasters Advice Segment (55:00) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry  (@girlwithnojob)  Merch The Toast Patreon Girl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to The Toast. Happy Wednesday. It is hump day, a great day here at The Toast because although we are transatlantically separated, Jax and I are humping each other virtually today. It's a virtual hump. It's still good.

I'm still getting off. Which is so 2020. Oh, God, yeah. Virtual hugs to everyone. Yeah, never 2020. Oh, God. Yeah. Virtual hugs to everyone. Yeah. Never mind. NVM. Never mind.

I'll just be Humphrey today. How are you sexy? I'll just be Dan Humphrey. You are Dan Humphrey. No, I'm not. That's like actually an insult. I would never. Yeah.

Who do you think you are in Gossip Girl? Like, I'm definitely Dorota. You are Dorota. I think I am. I'm Blair. Let's get real. I'm a Blair. You're either like a Blair, Serena, or a Jenny.

I feel like I'm kind of like a Georgina, actually. You're not, really? All I know is I'm not a Vanessa. No. Hey, sexy. Why'd you change your shirt? No is I'm not a Vanessa. No. Hey, sexy. Why'd you change your shirt? I'm Lily. I keep trying to call you sexy.

I'm Lily. Accept the compliment. I'm Lily, because I have your answer. Okay. I saw a video of you this morning taking care of Harry wearing a sexy, form-fitting shirt that made you look so sexy. Your breasts looked large and perky. Your belly was bumping.

Like why'd you change? You looked great. I'm wearing that shirt underneath, but I always have like, I have the sweatshirt around my waist. It's just, it's comforting and you just never know how things are going to look on the camera.

Yeah. So I don't want to do a whole show like thinking I look one way, seeing it another way. And you know, I'd rather just be my cozy self that's why I try not to watch this show I just feel like what I look like on camera to other people is really none of my business you watch the show every day I I don't watch it every day but a lot of days I will recap listen and like maybe see what we need to clip but I don't watch it like I pull it up on YouTube

and then I'm on my phone like I it's in this little square at the top I don't really look at myself got it I don't mind the YouTube it's really'm on my phone. It's in this little square at the top. I don't really look at myself. Got it. I don't mind the YouTube. It's really the reels. There's something about the way that the reels crop that I just hate how I look. So I'm like, I'm not taking any chances. Do you want us to start zooming out on the reels? There's only so much we could zoom out.

I tried that once. The frame is the frame. I don't know what it is. It's like how on Microsoft Word, if you drag a photo to make it bigger without changing, like. No, then it's like the ratio. If you change the ratio. Yes, it's a warped fun house.

And I just can't have that. I want to enjoy our reels. I want Gen Z to love me. They do. As they do. So sweatshirt it is. It's Wednesday, which means we have a fabulous show because we have dear toasters and we actually have an update from a pretty popular dear toasters that uh I

think it was maybe last year I don't know any concept of time it could have been 2007 for Claudia everything is three to four months ago or or like 2015 I really I cannot or three to four years yeah I cannot concept like visually concept concept is can you use it as a verb conceive conceive whatever um but that's also a great time to mention if you love dear toasters as much as we do on our patreon yesterday we dropped a podcast full episode like 45 minutes of all dear toaster submissions we had some really funny and interesting conversations about you know the intersectionality of chivalry and feminism where do we land honestly I don't know I'm using the word intersectionality it's kind of like one of my favorite words but no you were grasping for it yesterday but you didn't and ever no I found it

on the podcast yesterday and ever since I like realized that's the word I've been looking for I feel like sometimes I say like convergence or like I just make some shit up. Intersection. That's the word I'm always looking for. Yeah, intersection is a known term, you know, the intersection. But intersectionality is much more vast. No, I feel like it's kind of one of those like buzz new age words. Yeah.

Like when someone says like the intersection, like I'm always going to roll my eyes, but like it's kind of an amazing word. Yeah. Take it back, turdy. I'm taking it back. So there's a new Patreon.

If you don't get enough of your dear toasters fixed today, which you will, because we have a great update and two really good submissions. Head over to patreon.com slash toast to hear Jackson Clark doling out some, you know, some wonderful advice coming for Abby's neck. Yeah. You're obsessed with taking Abby down, even though you've already killed her.

No, Abby like set the, she really opened the door for us to be able to do dear toasters. But ever since she opened the door, I, it's on my mission to become bigger than her. I know. I just want, when people say like, you know, it's now become like a colloquial term, like dear Abby, it's not even about Abby. It's just about like the concept of giving advice. And I want to replace that. I want people to say like you know it's now become like a colloquial term like Dear Abby it's not even about Abby it's just about like the concept of giving advice and I want to replace that I want people to say Dear Toasters. Our thing is called Dear Toasters because of Dear Abby like you have to you have to respect those who came before you. I'm taking Abby down. I don't know Dear Toasters is only like one tenth of our show so it's not even like we invest.

It's not like we do it every day. Like Abby committed her life to advice. She did. I don't know if we could say the same. I feel like I've committed my life to bettering others lives. Yes. Yes. I agree.

And advice is a part of that. Just can't she have her advice? Yeah. I guess I'll let her legacy remain intact for today. She lives to see another day. But who knows after today's dear toasters. Right. Right.

Yeah. So we've got a great show. It's Wednesday. Jax is here. Claude is here. And very soon Jax and Claude will be together again. Yes. Tomorrow will be our last show.

Miles and miles apart. Yes. And it'll also just want to remind everyone. I feel like I can't say it enough times. There is no show on Friday. Unless you're a Patreon member, we'll have a prerecorded episode with Ben and Claude dropping on Friday. So you don't miss out on anything.

And then next week, yeah, Jackson and I are together, but we also, we are missing episodes next week. It is the holiday of Pesach, Passover, happy Passover to all of our Jewish toasters.

So we will be taking two days off next week to celebrate, you know, the holiday of Matzah and freedom passing over. It's really the holiday of freedom. Is it? Yeah. The slaves were freed from in egypt oh right let my people go how does that verse go when moses was in egypt land let my people go

it's one of my favorite holidays and my least favorite holidays because you can't eat any bread which is for like two weeks which is so annoying and it's not just bread it's grain so it's like rice it's so much shit that I love and it's my favorite holiday because there's so much singing there's a lot of singing there's two nights of festivities two nights of singing that is mandatory yeah like the mitzvah is not completed until you've sung and there are a lot of really good passover snacks and really good workarounds you know like you can have french fries yeah potato uh potato saving the day potato saves the day i love a potato you know how I feel about a baked potato so many bangers that like I've known like my whole life you know and I really only sing them once a year and it's crazy how like you know you never forget them it's not like I practice them I swear sure I swear I don't sure she goes

home I just practiced my solo I just practiced my solo. I just practiced my solo. What's my solo again? Malecha Hayam. Yeah. If you are familiar with the Seder, you know, festivities, there's one particular part of the prayer that is so sickening. It's so like, it's really harmonious. And, you know, I love my family because they've given me that part to kind of lead.

And make your own. And make my own. I'm really like put my foot in. And you do. And I do. Year after year. Year after year, she doesn't disappoint. So it's a good holiday coming up.

It's not Yom Kippur where we have to fast. So let's just be grateful for that. Yeah, I'm grateful. I'm excited. I'm excited that you're coming flamingo toast it's gonna be great staying at your house I'm staying at Olivia's house this time I know but I have tesla so I could come pick you up any day or time oh my god we will no long whenever in the past you've lived in Florida what for nine months eight months uh and every time

I've come down there I've spent a significant amount of time there probably like in total maybe six or seven weeks we have been prisoners we're stranded like of Jackie's home of Zach's schedule because if Zach has the car for work like we're not gonna take the car from him he has to work like we have been prisoners we like can't go to lunch we can't do any of the fun things that we want to do we can't do like a mukbang fast food in the car like nothing nothing nothing and if we and if we do it's like cut short oh I need the car come home oh my god prisoners and then it's like okay well maybe we could borrow the Shapiro's car but the Shapiro's literally have two kids like yeah yeah busy schedules they can't never available and their car is huge like I can't when it is available we have to drive the bus they literally

drive a school bus the biggest jeep you've ever seen in your goddamn life. Yeah so now that I have Tesla it's gonna be a whole different sort of trip. Well you know what we are? We're just two girls with with freedom. Freedom is a highway. Oh I was gonna do freedom I won't let you down freedom I will not give you a freedom. I think mine's just like a little more pertinent. On the nose. It's about driving. It's a little more on the nose.

I agree. And so even though you're not staying with me, it'll feel like there's no distance between us because I have Tesla. So it won't feel like we're miles apart. All I want to do is be with turdy lou be with turdy lou there's nothing we can't do i should make a really great car playlist for us filled with all the songs we love to sing virtually toast tunes and then we'll patreon oh and you know tesla has karaoke which i now pay for right right like a big dope yeah no not like a big dope i need all

the tesla features i didn't get this fucking carpet nothing that's true you know what i mean no i got a tesla to say oh no take your features keep them right right keep your features i'm shy i don't want features no karaoke no not me i have to look at the road literally how are the stories today stories are storying i wouldn't say there's like the big news i would say it's four equally unimportant stories with one important food news item is it you know what i don't want to spoil it. I'm excited. You could ask for a clue.

No, it's okay. Do you think you know what story it is? Food news. I'm not sure if you know about this, but it's extremely important that you know.

Is it a collab? No. Is it a new menu item? New variation on a beloved menu item. That makes it sound like small potatoes, but it's not.

It's big news. Is it a new flavor of McFlurry? Yeah. Oh my God, I didn't hear about it. Don't spoil what it is. I won't, but yeah. Wow. I meant to tell you when I was in Lisbon

and I ate McDonald's 47 times because it was the only food I liked, how popular and prevalent on the menu the big plant was. I think the big plant is like popping in international markets. I'm happy for the international folks that- Toasters.

They get to experience McPlant, even though I'm kind of like off of imitation meat. Imitation meat. Is that a pregnancy thing? Well, it has to do with pregnancy because it's like I'm trying not to eat stuff that's fake but like that stuff is crap no it's really it's made in a lab just like anything else once in a while you know if i'm at a burger joint and everyone's having burgers and i get to have an impossible like sure but as far as like it being a replacement for other protein like it's not for me it's not it's not cutting it no it's just

too fake and I keep it I keep it real dirty no we're just not trying to have like fake toxic energy in our lives no like I don't deal with fake people why would you deal with fake meat I don't know it doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense we're doesn't make sense. We're stopping that now. Yeah. I'd rather just have like a morning star veggie burger. Like we're so like anti-fraudulence like in our brand. And we really should carry that through to all aspects of our lives. Our diet included. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why I only eat real food from McDonald's. Well, that's why you only like real meat from McDonald's. Because they have. Even though. They have the meats. We should go to Arby's. We shouldn't go to the McBong. But it's like the what would the fuck would we eat at Arby's?

The meats. You can't eat meats. And I would literally never. OK, let's let's pull up the Arby's menu and say, yeah, why don't you pull it up to? I've never had Arby's. And I do know that Arby's is one of the only fast food franchises that has um curly fries curly fries yeah so curly swirly fries i would get curly swirly okay here arby's order ahead okay see these sandwiches with like their vagina looking

meats like i'm not oh sorry crispy juicy chicken the tender bites that's what i would have oh they have a chicken slider sandwich honestly this looks fire flames they have crispy fish wait wait look at Jackie look at the dessert they have so many different types of cookies apple turnover chocolate shakes oh kids menu okay what do they got oh my god they have pouches oh kids menu is a chicken slider sandwich which literally looks so good and then the chicken nuggets meal. I didn't know they had chicken nuggets at Arby's. I'll go now. Yeah, there's really nothing for me except for a crispy fish sandwich.

Like, how is that possible? But I'm not going to just, like, impose my preferences on this whole business. So I'll get the curly fries and the loaded fries. I don't know who would like, all right, let's go to fast food. Oh, wow. I don't know who, like, would right, let's go to fast food. Oh, wow. I don't know who like would think to themselves, okay, let's go get fast food. Should we get McDonald's?

Should we get Burger King? Should we get Wendy's? Or should we get the roast beef gyro from Arby's? Like who would think that? People would think that. Like, and people are allowed to think that, Turdy. Don't yuck their yums. People would look at that whole menu and they would say,

who would get chicken fingers at a place like this when there's such an assortment well anyone who says that is so toxic you don't need that kind of energy in your life and that's how they feel about you the gyro lovers it's actually so true and they don't even have gyro at mcdonald's or burger king so like there's only one place to go and it's our let's let's talk about gyro and people who pronounce it hero. I don't know them. Do you know that that's like a common pronunciation? Is that the proper pronunciation?

I don't know. I don't know. But like we're not in Greece. This is America, bitch. It's gyro. What if you want a gyro hero? That would, great question.

Then you would say, hi, I would like a hero hero. It's confusing. No, it's a fire point you bring up yeah case closed i guess you'd have to break it up you'd say hi i'd like the hero please and they're like would you like that on a bun or a hero and then you would say hero just to like you know for clarity purposes you say i need a hero i'm looking out for a hero till the end of the night yeah that's what you would say love a hero all kinds of heroes what's wrong with a hero a food hero yeah no i'm i'm all for like you know people who do brave things but in terms of a gyro hero um no and then a hero comes along with the strength to carry on

and you cast your fears aside that's one of my favorite mariah carey songs and in my opinion one of the more underrated ones it's so good it's so beautiful hero is such a great word and on the one hand I feel like it's not used enough but on the other hand I'm glad because it should be used so sparingly so that it maintains its pristine meaning we need to preserve the word hero I completely agree I'm glad it hasn't been overused to the point where it means nothing anymore yeah I could see like on TikTok being like oh my god that lip gloss is a slay you're a hero no by the way for sure I hope that never happens but I'm also not here for the feminization you

know she's a heroine no a woman could be a hero too oh I feel like you would have the opposite take. Why? Like there's word for man and there's word for woman. No, because to be honest, when you look at the words hero and heroine, like hero feels stronger. Because also heroine is a drug. Right, right. So true. And I think it's literally spelled the same way. No, female hero has an E at the end.

Doesn't heroine the drug too? No. Okay. I just, I'm not. Like why, why? It just makes, you know what? It makes me feel stupid. Like if I do something brave,

like I don't want the special word. Like I want the word that everyone uses and that's hero. And you think it should be a gender fluid word. If I rescue a cat from a tree and put my own life at risk i'm a hero bitch do not go and call me a heroine also because i feel like when i think about a heroine i think of like you know some of the books that i read like historical fiction and like this heroine who's

just like she's doing really good stuff for sure she's like low-key irresponsible no no she's good like it's all good but if a man were doing those things I don't know if we call him a hero like I feel like the bar is higher for hero and the bar is a little lower for heroin you know what that's an excellent take I agree as well that's now that I'm talking through it that's right what I'm feeling like so I actually agree with you I want to be a hero I would I would like to be a hero and then I'd like to eat a hero a hero hero bring it back no a hero hero so have you ever had gyro that should be your next tiktok video where can I get kosher gyro

oh I'm sure you could get kosher gyro at like an Israeli restaurant oh actually definitely like for sure and like what is gyro no such a good question it's like beef that's like cooked hard it's like hard no is it supposed to be hard or that's bad gyro i don't know and it's like where is the line between gyro and jerky no no i don't know. And it's like, where is the line between gyro and jerky? No, no. I don't think your gyro is supposed to be jerky. I think that's like, oh, I had that gyro. No, because I think like you can get your gyro crispy. You could get crispy gyro, but that's crispy.

Like regular gyro should be a little juicy. Wow. I just want to say when you Google gyro, the first thing that comes up is Arby's.com. And it says this search may also be relevant to gyro's Arby. It's just because it's listening to us. OK. Gyro's is a meat cooked on a vertical rotisserie. Sounds like shawarma.

Sounds like shawarma. Then sliced and served, wrapped or stuffed in a pita bread. Wait. Google now what's the difference between gyro and shawarma. Maybe it's just a different word for it right there's plenty of that same cuisine no like maybe in different places they call it different things salsa is salsa and in other countries it's like bruschetta yeah but like i think gyro in is greek so in greece they call gyro in israel they call it shawarma by the way so the biggest difference is in their flavor profiles.

So I think at its core in terms of like what it is and how it's cooked, it's the same. But gyros have like that Greek fresh taste and shawarmas have the more Middle Eastern spicy complex flavor. Got it. So it's about the spices. Yeah, it's about the spices. It's always about the spices.

Yeah, spices could spice anything up. And power to the world, spice up your life. Every boy and every girl. Spice up your life. People to the world. Spice up your life. Every boy and every girl. Spice up your life. People of the world. Spice up your life. People are going to complain there's too much singing today. But you guys, don't waste your keystrokes because we will never stop.

We're not listening. Actually, you know what? Waste your keystrokes. Give us that engagement. Yeah, give us the engagement. But there's not waste your keystrokes give us that engagement yeah give us the engagement but there's not one part of that criticism that even remotely touches me like that I absorb in the least like no I think that's what sets us apart from Abby does Abby sing she wishes no so true no that's not a valid criticism I rebuke no like i'm sure it's valid for you like you didn't like the singing part of this episode but like we love it so that trumps your dislike

i don't even want to add anything because what you said was so perfect we love it we're loving it really bringing it back full circle to mcdonald's mcplant that's how this conversation started got it so we're not we're saying no to fake yes to real we're loving really bringing it back full circle to mcdonald's mcplant that's how this conversation started got it so we're not we're saying no to fake yes to real we're stopping the negative self-talk and we're dressing like a whore and we're singing and we're quoting ourselves who else if not us who's gonna quote us oh i thought you're gonna say if not us who are we gonna quote both that's what i meant thought you were going to say, if not us, who are we going to quote? Both. That's what I meant the first time. And then I'm like, but then also, who else is going to quote us if not us?

It's so true. Like, sorry, we're out here preserving our legacy so that Abby doesn't come back from the dead and try and take us down. And come for Claudia's neck. Right. Yeah. So we've got a great show. I think it's time to dive in because we also have to your toasters and it's just it's a great day to be a toaster tis so without further ado here are the fast five

stories that you need to know today and today's episode is brought to you by a new sponsor that we're really excited about Topgolf it's golf it's not golf it's Topgolf so uh Jackie and I had the distinct privilege of visiting the Topgolf in Nashville was that last year or two years ago years ago oh my god we had the best night out um it was a girls trip and we spent the whole Friday night at Topgolf the food was so good um and we had so much fun playing golf even though we're not like huge golf girls it was really the perfect spot for a girls night and I think that kind of uh surprised us a little bit because again we're not like super into golf but the vibes were immaculate and the golf was so fun like we got so competitive we really did everyone played like there's a leaderboard

I did win I feel like that's really important like every time we do this ad to remind you guys that I won when we played top golf but really anyone can win if you're skilled enough like me. Yeah. It was also just like a great place to meet because we were all girls and a bunch of us were single. Like it was a great place to meet people. It was so much fun.

And so obviously they have a lot of stuff that makes them golf. You know, they've got the clubs, the balls, the tees, the turf. But they also have a bunch of stuff that's not golf, like great music, giant targets, giant TVs, handcrafted food and beverage menus.

It's so much fun. So if you don't play golf, it doesn't matter because everyone can play Topgolf even if you can't swing a club. The food and beverages are so good. It's the only place where you can play around and then order another. It's also super comfortable. They have all the fun of outside, but with the comforts of inside. They have comfortable heated bays in the winter and cooled bays in the summer.

We went when it was hot and we were not hot at all. They had, you know, real temperature regulation, which is somebody very temperature focused. I really appreciate it. So it's golf. It's not golf. It's Topgolf. Download the app, book a bay and come play around. Today's episode is also brought to you by The Perfect Bar. So if you're looking for a protein bar that actually tastes good, look no further than Perfect Bar. With their lineup of fresh from the fridge protein bars, Perfect Bar is exactly what you and your family need. So it's made with freshly ground nut butter, organic honey, and 20 organic superfoods. Perfect Bar has a variety of products like protein bars, little snack size bars that are also good

and good for you. And you'll be sure to find something you love. The texture of the bar is like a cookie dough texture. It's creamy and full of flavor. And now they come in a snack size, which is packed with six grams of proteins and 150 calories. So a little goes a long way. That's a perfect size to throw in your purse. Like you keep it in the fridge because the ingredients contain no artificial preservatives and they're made with whole food ingredients. So you store it in the fridge. And then while you're leaving for the day, if you're going to the gym or you just have a long day of meetings throw it in your purse you'll avoid that like crash

it'll keep you full it'll keep you up and at them George McFadden and if you aren't convinced already they also have non-GMO project verification they're gluten free soy free

low GI and kosher happy Passover Perfect Bar knows that it'll be love at first bite so for a limited time they're offering you a chance to try their refrigerated

protein bars for free. Here's how it works. Sign up for email or text, upload a picture of your receipt from your local grocery store, and they'll reimburse you for the cost of one bar. It'll go directly into your Venmo or PayPal account. All you have to do is go to perfectsnacks.com slash toast to get a free Perfect Bar today. That's perfectsnacks.com slash toast to get a free Perfect Bar today. Happy snacking. Thank you,udia you're welcome jackie our first story kelly rippa is on the cover of variety this month talking about being a power woman of 2023 she is talking about her career and she's talking about her career, and she's talking about substantial things.

She said that executives at Live banished her to a janitor's closet instead of an office during her early years on the show. Kelly Ripa claims the executives banished her to a janitor's closet instead of giving her an office during her early years on the morning show. The longtime co-host admitted in a new interview

that had she known how difficult that had she known how difficult her first three seasons would have been she might not have taken the gig in the first place she said it was the strangest experience I've ever had in my life I was told that I couldn't have an office she also said that she was not given maternity leave vacation time or a wardrobe budget when she joined live in 2001 she said it didn't make a whole lot of sense especially because there were empty offices that I could have easily occupied. She said when she asked about moving one

to one of the available rooms, producers told her they were reserved for executives visiting from the West Coast. She said it was after my fourth year that they finally cleaned out the closet and put a desk in there for me. And so I was working in the janitor's closet with a desk so that I could have a place to put things.

However, after original host Regis left the show in 2011, Kelly assumed she would finally get an actual office, only to be snubbed once again for her incoming male counterpart, Michael Strahan. They said, oh, no, we're saving that. And I said, saving it for what? And they go, well, for when the new guy comes. And I looked at them and I said, I am the new guy. I just moved my things I forced my way into the office because I because I couldn't understand how I would still be in the janitor's

closet and somebody new would come in and get the office she said the experience was just another reminder to Kelly that female anchors were viewed as sidekicks rather than the main talent she said it was like watching the same movie all over again all of those offices that were not available to me were suddenly made available with walls knocked down to make them twice as big it was fascinating for me to watch the need to make the new guy comfortable and respected but I couldn't use those offices I had to use the broom closet she said not only that but she was not given her own bathroom and had to share a public restroom with the live studio audience despite the male co-anchors having their own stall she said picture this we have a studio audience, like 250 people,

and I have to queue up. She noted that it was extraordinarily exhausting to have to wait in line while she was pregnant. Okay, them not giving her maternity leave is like the craziest thing I've ever heard and like grounds for lawsuits. That's also what we were just talking about. Like, how do you host a live show

and go on maternity leave? A daily live where you are 50% of the show. There's no, that's us. Not that like we're live with Regis and Kelly. We're obviously so much bigger. But she really, I guess, is a good example to look at. And there's the answer. She didn't have maternity leave.

No, but she's not a good example to look at because she's an employee of like a major company. And legally, companies like that have to provide some sort of maternity. I don't know. I don't know what the law is. I don't think that they have to. Well, I find a lot of what she says really interesting.

And I think the maternity leave thing is like beyond disgusting, but I don't necessarily agree with her. How it's like women are women anchors are viewed as sidekicks no actually she was just a part of a show where the template was it was Regis's show and now and and the women were sidekicks and now it's Kelly's show and the men are sidekicks like she has a rotating crew of people who come in every few years and then she has all these guests like it's Kelly's show now whereas before it was Regis's show and Kelly was when it was regis's show i think like yeah that what she you know she sat and didn't have an office and sat in the janitor's closet but then when when regis left and they didn't give

her was getting the regis treatment and it's like right you're the sidekick yeah and she interpreted that to be because he is male and she is female that he was getting the male treatment not maybe maybe that's what the networks male treatment, not the primary treatment. Maybe that's what the network's goal was. Like maybe their intention wasn't to make it like the Kelly show. It was to have to continue having Kelly as that sort of, because that's what the show's format was for many years, like Kathie Lee and Regis. Like it was a man, it was really like the man's show

with like a female kind of Vanna White co-hosty vibe. But Kelly really, you know what? She really did make it her own. Yeah, but they also changed the name to Live with Kelly and Michael. And I think that if they meant for it to be Michael's show, it would have been Michael and Kelly. No, that's true. I think there was probably a lot of confusion at that time.

I think Kelly had been waiting 10 years to take Regis's spot whenever that time came. And I'm sure the network saw it a little differently. So I understand how there was friction we also know that Regis and Kelly did not have a good relationship so it's very possible that that um toxicity was kind of the environment of the show too like the people who worked for Regis were team Regis yeah yeah but I mean when you look at it at a whole like she's been doing the show now for 22

years, like it's still top of the rating. She sells so much energy. Like she really is a staple in everyone's morning. Like I feel like she really fought her way there. Yeah. And she obviously took her. What is the phrase where you take your lemons? No.

where you take your lemons no like when you to it's to mean like make the most of what you get no no it's kind of like hazing like you take what your licks I don't know pay your dues yeah sure but there's a take your phrase as well but she paid her dues and you know she didn't get the star treatment for 23 years yeah no that's it's actually really shocking yeah it's also a nice change of pace to read something from Kelly that actually has substance and it's not just about how many times you know Mark Consuelos eats her ass a month yeah well they do have crazy FaceTime sex apparently not in this interview but that's the other headline about Kelly this week get you a girl who could week. Get you a girl who could do both. Get you a girl who could do both.

Preferably more of the former and less of the latter, but sure. Yeah, but I think also it's, I feel like she, if she had to, you know, everyone sees their own career and like their own troubles differently than how the world sees them. I just look at Kelly and I'm like, she's Kelly. She's every morning. Like, yeah, she's at the top of the industry. But I feel like for Kelly, I feel like she might have like a hard time getting taken seriously a little bit.

And so she does those like little people magazine, hello magazine pieces of crap because like that's what's available to her. But like variety gave her power of women. Like she got respect. She gave a respectful interview. That's actually so true. Wait, are we flipping this Kelly's Mindless News on its head right now? Like you're right.

People really, Kelly Ripa like is a maven of talk television and she's an OG. And she was like, she really brought her show into the 21st century. Like that Regis show was like so old school and she kind of gets like no respect. No, like when you think of like female titans of television you don't think of her and you should no you're a hundred percent right and I think that's probably something that she struggles with being taken seriously like even you know when you first read this thing I like rolled my eyes like I'm like she's on the cover of variety but like she's exactly the type of person who should be on the cover of variety yeah why not Kelly no she's really the show is a major stop like for every major celebrity and press tour yeah

shows get canceled all the time like it's so hard especially talk shows yeah to get viewers to retain viewers to compete in that space like that. Morning programming is so, we've seen good morning glory. We saw morning glory. We know how hard it could be. Right. And it really is like this cycle. Even people who you think are going to slay the house down, Meredith Vieira, Kris Jenner, Bethany, it doesn't work out.

Yeah. So I think we need to put a little more respect on her name. I agree. She like fought her way out of the janitor's closet. Literally. Huh. Huh. I'm seeing, I'm seeing Kelly through a whole new lens.

That's what a great interview could do. You're so right. But also a great podcast discussion. But it's also what the right platform, like, you know, being on Variety will give you that sort of reputability. and maybe if we read her book yeah we would feel even more so this way yeah but I'm reading so slowly these days me too it took me three weeks to finish my last book which was decent um I'm dying to read Paris's book but I have to start the redheads book we record next week like I'm dying to read Paris's book, but I have to start the Redheads book we record next week. Like I'm booked and busy, literally. Booked and busy.

That's a good name for a reading podcast. Booked and busy. What about for your book club? Because we are so busy. And you're booked, obviously, once a month. I like it. You could say, you guys, Jackie came up with a really good name. Yeah, another way for me to like bring up. No, you could say, you guys, Jackie came up with a really good name. Yeah, another way for me to like bring up.

No, you could say, okay, you say I have the name for the book club. Like don't even mention me because I feel like that'll take away. Actually, like a lot of members of my book club listen to the podcast. So they'll see like the natural or authentic genesis of the name. Okay, I think they'll like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you kind of had to be here. And luckily you all were here for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you kind of had to be here. And luckily, you all were here for that.

Yeah. Thank God we record this. Are we still? My cards are good. Okay. We're still recording. Thank God. Are you ready for our next story, which is some more TV news?

Yes. Bachelor creator Mike Fleiss is exiting the franchise after 21 years. Oh, wow. Mike Fleiss announced the news on Tuesday in a statement congratulating season 27 lead Zach Shalcross and his new fiance, who, by the way, this is who won the show, Katie Bigger, on their engagement.

Yeah, I saw a clip of them talking and it was really, really special. I saw a headline and a photo of their proposal with like a get the deets on the ring. Oh, no, I watched them like a TikTok. GMA did like they gave them placards and it was like, who is the later sleeper? You know, and these people like so know nothing about each other. It was painful.

It was not. Do you think that they are in love and will last? I don't. I actually based on what I got from them and based on what people have said it's like Zach is a robot he's so vanilla and you know what she's like a really kind of beautiful simple girl I actually think it could work I really like want them to work I'm like in the mood for bachelor success yeah and a little redemption like it would take a lot for me to start watching again and the shows would have to be like cut down to like one hour 45 minutes yeah like I can't do two hours um but I don't know they're making changes

I can't believe Mike Fleiss is leaving like that is that'd be like Andy leaving Bravo it's it's so monumental and I think it's a real indicator that the show is on its last leg I mean tell me tell me this is not an indicator ready I was mind's a real indicator that the show is on its last like I mean tell me tell me this is not an indicator ready I was mind blown I came across that girl we were talking about last week who made it to the top four who was Jewish I came across her Instagram and she was so oh no I came across yeah her Instagram and she did this like you get ready with me so I went to her page guess how many followers she has after being on the top four. Less than 50,000. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, what? 120. Yeah, that's low. The Bachelor himself, I was looking at his, like is so low. I think it's less than that. For guys, it was always like less. I remember if you made it to the top four, like I remember back with like Nick Viles season a lot of those girls ended up after the season reaching a million followers so to be a top four

and to be a favorite everyone loves this girl Arielle um and to not even crack 200 I think that's like a huge indicator of how much of the the show's audience has fallen off. Yeah. The girl who won has 218. That's crazy. I remember distinctly like Raven Gates, Rachel Lindsay. Of course. They would be really near a million. Vanessa, they all were in like eight, 900,000. And eventually they hit a million.

I wonder what they have on TikTok. Maybe like, cause these girls are more that's a good question I saw like because yeah like they're just younger girls they're younger girls and I think younger girls are watching and they like gravitate towards following people on TikTok now that's a good she has 40,000 on TikTok what does Zach have or Katie how do you spell Zach what's his last name shall cross okay he shall cross I don't know if this is his page but he has one post with six thousand followers okay yeah no it's not doing what it was but I don't think Mike's leaving means that it's over I'm surprised Mike has been around this long without getting canceled. He's so probably like we have heard crazy stories.

Yeah. Like he's just like textbook, like the show Unreal. Like, yeah, they get their inspiration from Mike Fleiss and his ways. So I think he's quitting while he's ahead. And the franchise is slowing down. So it's a good time to go. I can't believe he lasted this long without like actually having a major scandal canceled. Yeah.

But see, that's how you like. That's why it is like unreal. Like it's so he's so powerful. Like, you know, contestants would never speak out against him. Producers would never. He's the almighty being. Like if you want a career, if you want to go on Dancing with the Stars, I remember what he did to Caitlin Bristow.

Like, yeah, he could blackball you in a second. Yeah. I also think some contestants don't interface with him that much like i feel like his power like just the leads comes from on high and then like he that culture like disseminates from him to like top producers and then like the producers produce but it all kind of spreads out and there's no one person to blame it on you know what i mean yeah but it starts from the top yeah and he is the top so if there's a toxic culture at The Bachelor, like it comes from him.

I can't believe he's leaving. Yeah, so he put out a statement saying, first and foremost, congratulations are in order for Zach and Katie. I wish them a long and happy life together. I want to thank WBTV and ABC for 21 extraordinary years. They found the perfect creative team for me to entrust The Bachelor franchise and keep this lightning in a bottle bold and moving forward. He will be replaced by new showrunners, Jason Ehrlich, Claire Freeland, and Bennett Grabener,

who all have lengthy ties to the show. So I think it's just people getting promoted. Yeah. I mean, if they really wanted to shake things up and compete with like the Love is Blinds, Love Island, they would bring in like a whole new creative team. It sounds like it's just going to be more of the same watered down episodes until the show eventually ends yeah but i think their ratings like as far as they're not what they once were but if they're still got million in the middle you know what i mean like their ratings are still enough for advertisers and yeah all that i think it would have been better to like bring in one new replacement who could freshen things up. But it sounds like they don't want to freshen things up.

Like they think their formula works and maybe it works for them. It just doesn't work for you and I, Turdy. Okay, wait. So in terms of ratings, this season averaged.81. That's 800,000 people. In that demo. In the 18 to 49 demographic. Which is key. That's low low that is low hold on I feel like I'm not reading that right it's impossible to read ratings oh my god with

the decibels just tell me how many people watch literally literally I cannot read this oh okay wait so explain okay so yes so the episode that was on literally two days ago in the 18 to 49 demo 0.63 but they had 3.4 million viewers how does that make sense I don't know who else who is 18 to 49, you know? Well, 49 and up would be the majority of viewers. That doesn't sound right. There's so many people. Well, it says 3.4 million viewers.

You're right, which is still, for a cable show, excellent. Yeah, but maybe it's like 0.63 households, but then they count for like a number of people per house. It's all fraudulent. I really don't understand ratings. Ratings all fraudulent I really don't understand ratings ratings are fraudulent well in March or and like I still record The Bachelor so I'm part of that last week they Variety wrote an article The Bachelor hits multi-platform ratings high with their season 27 in 27 premiere so it had a 2.39 rating which i believe is 2.3 million okay

and that was a outperformance of the show's prior season well that's good yeah see yeah it's still it's still considered good ratings like when you think about how many people watch like shows on bravo they're lucky if they hit like a million. But this is like basic cable. That's something else. But yeah. Okay, are you ready for our next story? Yeah.

Tristan Thompson buys a mansion three houses down from his ex, Khloe Kardashian. Tristan purchased a home just three doors down from his ex-girlfriend, Khloe, with whom he shares two children. In photo obtained by page six the nba players new mansion can be seen within walking distance from the reality star estate in hidden hills he signed the deed for the 12.5 million dollar house in december 2022 that is last December. Okay. Last Christmas, he bought this new house. I don't know why I feel like Tristan like doesn't have nearly enough money to live in the same neighborhood

because he's not a great basketball player. So I'm just looking up what his salary. Okay. His salary. Let's see what his contracts were. Also his house, like from the aerial photos, his house looks bigger

than chloe's much bigger like it's huge so in 2021 when he was on the kings his salary was uh one year of six six million dollars that's pretty good and then he i guess got moved to the bulls and he got a million dollars and then prior to to that, wow, actually, I take it back what I said. Excuse me. This is can't be right. What is it? Tristan Thompson. OK, from his he started his career on the Cavaliers.

That's where we met him. Remember? Yeah. 2011 to 2014. And he got he got 16 million dollars in those three years. OK. Then he signed another contract with Cleveland for another four years, five years, excuse me. Eighty two million dollars in those three years okay then he signed another contract with Cleveland for another four years five years excuse me 82 million dollars which he which he literally he played with them the full contract so he got everything and then in 2020 for one year he went to uh

two years excuse me he went to what's that little Irish thing the Celtics Celtics 10 million excuse me 20 million dollars i take it back wow i don't know why ben always said he's like not a good basketball player but what the fuck does ben know i think he's not like michael jordan but like michael jordan slash kobe and lebron they make hundreds of million dollars and like but he's a good enough basketball player to like be on the court and like that's what you make when you're like actually a playing NBA player. That's literally crazy to me. Crazy.

And I think people just like to clown on him. So even if he was skilled, like we wouldn't know about it, but that is crazy. And okay, take it back. He can certainly afford. He can certainly afford. And he bought a really nice house. And even though I don't want him and Chloe to be back together, I don't know if they are back together.

I don't care. I personally think this is so nice for their course for the kids of course but people read this headline they're like he's stalking Chloe get away from Chloe like and that they think it's like a bad thing even when Kanye did it like I didn't think that that was a bad thing I think it's the best possible case scenario for children with separated parents and by the way I'm sure he didn't spend 12 million dollars on a house without getting Chloe's blessing yeah yeah but he's so like you know grovelly up her ass like yeah but I think he wouldn't do anything to make her mad

I mean he does a lot of things to make her mad well of course of course but when he's in his groveling phase like he's such like on the show he's like I just want to like earn your respect back earn your trust back yeah shut up shut up why don't you keep your dick in your pants and everyone will respect and trust you literally this house is so nice Claudia I think it's so nice like I'm never gonna you know be mad I never want these two to ever be together ever again but that doesn't mean that like now they have two kids together Tristan has other kids he needs like a nice house for all his kids and to live you know next door to your half siblings is lovely yeah it's really nice it's nice I'm not gonna clown on him me neither are you ready for our next story some unlikely fashion news

unlikely fashion news succession fans are going wild for the ludicrously capacious Burberry tote that was mocked in the HBO show and now everybody wants one so when we did our succession recap we talked about how Tom mocked Greg's dates big ass Burberry Tote and it turns out people were influenced the search for Burberry Tote has increased 300 percent since the episode aired wow I mean they you know what they weren't necessarily making fun of like the brand or the style of the bag merely the size um like he said it was so big it would be slid across the floor in a bank robbery um which is so funny and you know what like good good on Burberry you, taking a negative and look what happened.

Yeah. It's not a great look for Burberry because even though it, yes, it's, it's popularity. Like they do pride themselves on being like a very serious brand. And like an elite, uh, highbrow. Like Shiv should be wearing, Shiv should be wearing the bag, not this interloper. Right. Who was like widely considered by everyone as like a poor person at the rich person's party yeah so it was associated that with Burberry it was a choice

it was a it was a choice and I actually it's not the choice that I would have made thought to make well I think it's so you know obvious to do like Michael Kors or coach like no even like Louis Vuitton yeah because these are like wouldn't wear like an lv bag right because these are like these aren't rich people these are like one percent next level who would never be caught dead wearing a gucci bag it's like maybe air maze but that's it yeah air maze is kosher i would have even thought like Burberry in some respects would be. Because like if there actually are like, you know, more like muted, the very gaudy label first brands,

rich people would never be caught dead wearing that. Yeah. So they actually could have used anything. You're right. And Burberry isn't even, Burberry actually can be like a very muted, understated like elegant tasteful tasteful brand yeah I agree so it's surprising but you know what I actually I don't know what this says about me but I like the bag I feel like they actually should have done like one of those

Louis Vuitton never falls yes because it's so big first of all it's so commercial like not commercial pedestrian everyone has that bag. And it might have been like a little bit more on the nose. Yeah. And it's bigger. Because this isn't so bad, but it is the size of it, you know? Yeah. But I guess what they were saying was that like it wasn't even that big,

but they saw it as huge. It was too big. Yeah. It wasn't even that big, and yet it was too big. It's a hilarious saga, and I enjoy to see, you know, looking forward to see what happens next. Yeah, agreed. But for now, the bag is doing well. Good, good, good, good.

And now it's time for our fifth and final much-anticipated and hyped-up story. McDonald's drops a new McFlurry flavor. Let me think. Because they have M&M and Oreo, right? That's it. And do they have Reese's sometimes? That's what I was just thinking. Sometimes.

I feel like it's a seasonal addition. Yeah. So that means they go candy. Candy is their theme. Or not candy, but like a, it's like a collab with like an Oreo. I would love for them to do like a Snackwell's devil food,

but I digress. Too random. Too random. This isn't meant to be like a capsule thing., it's devil food, but I digress. Too random. This isn't meant to be like a capsule thing. It's like a mainstay on the item. What is the menu need to be balanced? Something like sweet, like sugary, like sour watermelon or something.

No, freaky. No. What's a classic flavor? For what is a McFlurry, a sundae no a milkshake yes a sweet milkshake okay I don't know just tell me strawberry shortcake ew no like a strawberry milkshake is so good and the new flavor is strawberry shortcake which features their signature creamy vanilla soft serve strawberry flavored clusters and a crispy buttery shortbread cookies i'm sorry but that sounds really good if that's what you're into that day like either you want chocolate milkshake or yeah i get it i get vanilla or strawberry yeah yeah yeah yeah and oreo is

actually like black and white because it has the cream and the. Yeah. And M&M McFlurries should be taken off the market. I don't agree. Because M&M's should not be in ice cream. Because M&M's should not get so cold that they're so hard. And then when you're having the soft ice cream and you have these tooth breaking items. You know where M&M's should be?

I disagree. You know where M&M's should be? I disagree. You know where M&M's should be? M&M's should be in popcorn where they get really hot and they melt a little and they just sort of blend into the popcorn and it's so delicious. I think they're both good. I actually, when I get like Tasty Delight, I will often get mini M&M's. I like when they get hard.

It's like a crunchy little snack. It's soft. It's hard. It's like a fucking jawbreaker. I like it. I like it. Wow, this conversation is making me starving. No, because I like it. Is that what you're saying? No,. I like it. I like it. Wow, this conversation is making me starving. No, because I like it.

Is that what you're saying? No, because I like it. No, because I hate it. Yeah. Cold. Literally. Ice cold. Okay, strawberry shortcake.

Not for me, but there's definitely a market for this. And it does make sense thematically. Yes. There definitely was a hole in the menu that I didn't see. There's a hole in the menu. Yeah, there was. But I think not enough people talk about the pies from McDonald's

because I only had one for the first time a few years ago. Not a few years ago. Sorry, it was last year. And I actually tried it on the Patreon for the first time when I was in Vegas because I ordered a McFlurry and of course on Uber Eats the machine was broken so he's like I got you a pie because you know you paid for dessert I was like okay and it was like this strawberry pie when I tell you it was so good I dropped it on the floor and I kept eating it it was so fucking good well that's a really good endorsement yeah so good even tastes good with floor on it

yeah so it will be available starting April 12th um maybe you'll still be here and we can move yes that's what the people need to see our review of the new milkshake right we'll let you know if it's I'm sure it's delicious by the the way. It sounds good. Yeah. So those were the past five stories. You certainly did not need to know them. But have no fear. It's Wednesday, and that means Dear Toasters is here. Our weekly advice segment every Wednesday where we, you know, help out some girlies who are in need of our advice.

If you ever want to write in, the email to write in is deartoasters at gmail.com. Try and keep it brief. You know, need to know information. Don't write us a whole magilla because we're not going to read it. And Deer Toasters is brought to you by Liquid Death. By now, you've probably seen Liquid Death. Or maybe you've heard us talk about their mountain water and flavored sparkling water that look just like tall boys or beers.

I actually drink Liquid Death quite frequently on the toast. A lot of people think I'm drinking beer in the morning. No, it's sparkling water. Sometimes it's flavored. quite frequently on the toast. A lot of people think I'm drinking beer in the morning. No, it's sparkling water. Sometimes it's flavored. Sometimes it's the lime. Sometimes it's the plain. Not only does Liquid Death taste good and is so hydrating and wonderful, but you look so cool drinking it.

It's like, is that girl having a beer this morning? Is she having a beer pregnant? And so now these insane tall boys from liquid death are actually their new healthy iced teas so all of the new iced teas um are so delicious they come in three flavors grim leafer rest in peach and armless palmer um they're really good i actually am not even like a huge iced tea girl but the grim leafer is so good it's delicious and again it's just in a fun packaging you know people think jackie's over here getting wasted but she's actually just sipping on a nice iced tea

and i'm just look like hardcore we have the rest in peaches here we've been tearing through them and they're so delightful on a warm day um they're unlike other iced teas that are loaded with sugar they're slightly sweetened with six grams of premium agave and only 30 calories. And they provide a micro dose of 30 grams of caffeine per tall boy. They're also enhanced with B vitamins. So Liquid Death's new iced teas are available now with free shipping on Amazon and retailers near you. As an added bonus, the Toast listeners get 20% off their first Liquid Death apparel purchase, available exclusively at liquiddeath.com slash toast.

Exclusions may apply. That's liquid death.com slash toast exclusions may apply that's liquid death.com slash toast are you ready kids aye aye turdy i can't hear you aye aye turdy oh dear jacks and turdy lou love you girls started listening during during Jackie's maternity leave and I haven't stopped since. I'm getting married in May and I'm doing all of the pre-wedding things. Hair extensions, nails, tan, Botox, etc. But here's my question. I've never gotten any injections in my lips, but when I smile really big,

which I'm assuming will happen a lot on my wedding day, you can see all my gums. I'm planning on getting a lip flip exactly one month from my wedding to solve this issue but again this is something I haven't done before. Do I experiment four weeks before the big day or do I just look at my gums in all of my wedding photos? Please help a toaster with small lips. I'm inclined to say wait till after your wedding you've went this long with your gummy smile and it didn't bother you enough to do something about it. There's no guaranteeing that you're going to like how you look and then on the off chance that it's not what you want it

to be, all of your wedding pictures are kind of like ruined by this. Instead, just like, you'll never regret looking like yourself. Do you know what I mean? No, I think you more speak from experience. You want it. Yeah. You should change something that bothers you, but it's different than like having something removed. Like you can easily imagine, but I don't know what a lip flip is going to do for you. Well, here's the question. Here's the question. What do you think looks worse?

Your gummy smile or potentially weird looking upper lip? I think bad plastic or bad injections or whatever is worse than God's big gums. How much time do we have? Can you get a flip now and try it out? What about that? I'm all for doing the most before your wedding because I did the least before my wedding

and I hate my wedding photos. I'm not for doing the unknown four weeks before your wedding when it didn't bother you enough to do it at any other time in your life. I'm kind of here for it. Do it after. but look like yourself like it's it's much less risky to just look like yourself the girl you know the girl you love the girl your husband fell in love with then to maybe show up looking like some clown you also could show up looking amazing but you could look crazy I don't know lip flips are so routine and they're really not.

I've never seen a person that I know with one. I'm sure that you have. It's like a step below lip filler. Like it's just if you have like an upper lip that curls up. So what do they do? I don't know what they do, but like it flips your lip just like a little bit more up. I've seen a lot of people get it and it's like really not a big deal. I don't know much about it. Maybe. I don't know. I think if you do like a ton big deal. I don't know much about it.

Maybe, I don't know. I think if you do like a ton of research, I don't know. I'm kind of here for it. I say do it. I say wait. Okay. Well, you have your answer.

Are you a Jax or are you a Claude? Yeah. Sound off in the comments. What should this toaster do? Jax and Claude are split. They're headed for Splitsville. No, but it's like like you I don't know if that's helpful to have both answers because you can like listen to either one of us and just go

forth you have our permission either way technically so that's good yeah you have our permission either way technically and the thing is either scenario you might end up regretting doing it or not doing it you know like maybe you do it after your wedding and it looks so good you're like shit I should have just done it I think the chances of the regret levels will be higher if you do it and it doesn't go well than the regret levels of if you didn't do it and you do it after and you're like oh I wish I had done that for my wedding but like it's better this amount of risk is better in my opinion you know if you want to be conservative go with jacks if you want to be kind of crazy go with me i don't get crazy before a wedding i don't know weddings are overrated it's like not that big of a deal i know you just have like some i have

wedding regrets yeah regrets she has a few but then again not too few to mention no shall we I am always am one not getting my moles removed two not getting my my chin surgery three not like stopping eating one fucking thing that was in my way like I just ate my way up until my wedding day I didn't give a shit and in a way I'm like in awe of how little I gave a fuck I actually like have respect because you know no matter who you are everyone wants to look their best on their wedding day and you know everybody you know cuts out you know a few things here and there not me bitch I was just coasting and now I look back because I look so different and I'm like annoyed but a part of me is like I was so free like I really didn't give a shit and you know what there's such power in that I really actually believe that like I had so much

fun like I don't know well that I was gonna say what's for sorry I didn't have fun at my wedding but I'm just talking about that time in my life like I didn't I wasn't self-conscious about how I looked like I was really happy yeah and I didn't let I think a lot of people when they you know get to the a higher weight they let it start to like impact their life their ability to live a full life you know they stop going to things or like they don't put themselves out there because they feel self-conscious which is totally normal and I'm just in awe of the way like I didn't give a fuck you know the way I acted you would have thought I looked like fucking Giselle like yeah and I'm sorry like that's fucking cool like I I respect myself for

that agreed so there's there's you know beauty in in the chaos and then another regret is like just not having fun at my wedding I was so like involved in the planning it's like bitch you have a whole team of planners back off yeah and even like you could be you should be so involved in your wedding planning but you have to on the day of your wedding. Let go. Tell everyone around you, do not bother me with one thing. I don't care if the venue is on fire. Don't tell me about it.

This is not my problem. This is everyone else's problem. And you need to enjoy your day. That's my advice for brides. Yeah. It's some of the most amazing advice. You'll ever get. The venue's on fire?

Call the fire department. Like not my problem. Figure it out. Also like, what am I supposed to do? Am I a fire writer? Use deductive deductive reasoning okay the place is on fire should i a call 9-1-1 b tell this useless girl who's not gonna help the bride or c none of the above a yeah and you either have a bridesmaid a wedding planner a someone on your team who is in charge of things yep that day yeah and it's not gonna be you so let someone else decide where we should have it instead of

this burned down venue yep what about where you're sitting right now yep it's not on fire right all right next up hey jackson claude obsessed with both of you thanks so much for giving us premium content every day it truly gets me me through some days. Here's my dilemma. I'm 29 and my hair has been going gray since my early 20s. I'm at the point where my roots are almost fully gray. I've made so I've made as much peace with it as I can because it's genetic and there's really nothing else I can do. But it's still a big insecurity of mine. I get my I get my roots dyed every six weeks to keep it looking like my natural color. My issue is that one of my best friends always points out my roots once they've grown in for like a month or so and asks me when I'm getting them done.

I don't think she does it to be mean, but it's like, bitch, I am aware that it's grown out and she knows I go to get it touched up frequently. What would you say to your friend to get her to stop pointing out the grays without coming off like an insecure wench? Also, I know you guys have perfect hair, but have any of your friends dealt with premature graying? What tips and tricks do they have? Any advice would be

so appreciated. Love you girls. Sincerely, a gray girly. On the latter half, I personally don't know anyone who has dealt with early graying. So if anyone in the comments

has personally dealt with it or like has good tips and tricks, I feel like root spray is like such an easy way to touch up like, you know, before you see, before you have your appointment,

but you're like going out to lunch. Root spray I've heard is great. but any comments who can help just help this girl out with like the with the aesthetic part but now with the friend part yeah too yeah because actually so funny like literally two days ago Zach and I were sitting next to each other he was like looking at my hair funny he was like I was like what and he was like I think you have some grays and I was like oh it's not what I thought you were gonna say and I know like I I've never noticed them I think I was trying to then see them but I also just put a lot of product in my hair that was white so I think that's what it was it didn't bother me though I would have been more interested if I had grays than

insecure because it's not something that like is it one of my insecurities but clear for this person it is and what a fucking bitch your friend is it's like does she not have one insecurity or one thing that like it's off about her not conventional that she doesn't know how it feels to be told like oh you're this is bad like she must be so perfect and really because I can't understand someone who would call out someone else's flaw like I really and it's not like you don't have eyes yeah and I don't think this is a situation where you need to like sit down and and tell her I think it's a tit for tat oh you have some hair growing in oh thanks Rachel you got a big pimple on your nose you're

gonna do something about that I know a great facialist okay but that's also that comes off a little um sometimes the only way to make someone see themselves is to hold up a mirror literally yeah but like an eye for an eye and the whole world is blind turdy good if i'm blind everyone else should be i know i'm just i'm trying to think how we could be effective here because she's also your friend no but she has hurt you and i'm all for revenge like you hurt me i hurt you i know but you could also hurt her by like turning it around on her and being like, girl, you think I don't know. You know that I touch up my roots every six weeks.

Like, okay, so you caught me on the one day that my roots aren't in. I do not need to remind her. I see myself in the mirror more than you see me. Can you please shut the fuck up? Like I would just put her in her place. Yeah, maybe come at her. Come at her. Not, don't sit her down and be like, really hurts my feelings come at her yeah and like be a little

aggressive be a little aggressive while also like you're the victim in the situation like make her feel bad because there's nothing worse than feeling like you did something wrong like then knowing that you did something wrong that you hurt someone and you just have to sit there with your bitchiness yeah yeah yeah yeah and be like if really, if you really can't help but say something, then I guess I won't see you until after I've had my root touch up appointment. I'll see you every six weeks. Yeah. What a fucking bitch, honestly. No, I'm like mad. Well, right back in. What are her flaws? No, her life is so perfect and her face and her hair and her body is so perfect that she obviously doesn't know how it feels to have someone like call out your insecurities.

She has none. She's obviously like a deeply insecure person because really only miserable people do that. Like I would never. There's a difference between calling it out when you think like, like maybe if you like, okay, if Ben has like a pimple on his back, he can't see it. So I have to tell him. But it's like your roots, you have a mirror. Like you you you're

there's no way you don't know yeah but I don't know I I'm I so am cannot relate to someone who would do who would call something out like that that I actually think that it because like I I would know how it feels to of course told like there's something awry that you clearly know about so I actually think it must be because she doesn't know how it feels to have someone say that to her so say it no she doesn't know how it feels to have someone like call out an insecurity where you like feel weird and then you never do that to someone else so she should do it to this girl so this girl knows how it feels that's the only way she'll learn no I like I like just giving like just fucking lighting her up yeah like, like give her a knife. Yeah. You turn, you whip your head and you say, girl, you think I don't have eyes?

I know. You know I've been struggling with this since my early 20s. Like I don't need you to tell me every single time that you see a gray hair. Because by the way, we won't be able to have other conversations. Because duh, I've got a lot of gray hairs coming in. I get my roots touched up every six weeks. If you can't help but say something every time you see gray hair, then I guess I can't see you until the day I have my root touch up and I'll see you that afternoon.

Good day, sir, bitch. I said good day. Got him. Got him. All right, our third and final is an update. So I will read her original submission. For those who remember a little while ago, this girl wrote in. She was humiliated that she had met her and her uh husband's extended family at a wedding and it was going great but

she found out afterwards she had been walking around with like a big old period stain the entire time everyone knew her husband didn't tell her and she was just mortified and she didn't know what to do um we then told her that you know perspective is everything. Shake it up the way you look. Maybe, okay, it's not embarrassing that you had a period stain. You were flaunting your fertility. You are a queen amongst commoners. You are his wife. You are going to give him babies.

Like, it's a power move just to change your perception, you know? Here's what she wrote in. Jackson Turd, reaching out with a very happy update. I am the toaster who unknowingly got her period while meeting my husband's extended family for the first time. Here's what she wrote in. for almost a year. Well, that was the last time I got my period. I got pregnant right after that trip and I just delivered a beautiful baby girl. So now I'm not the wife with a period stain, but rather the wife who delivered the family's first grandchild. You guys were right.

I guess I was flaunting my fertility. Love you too. Thank you for going through this journey with me. Oh man, not me crying. Oh my God, that's so beautiful. At first I was feeling bad. So I was like, oh, you're flaunting your fertility, but she was having a hard time getting pregnant.

Right. But no, plot twist. there's a babe now and you know what that's life you can't have a baby without a period okay so next time everyone gets a period saying oh my god yeah I'm a human I'm a woman I'm taking care of repopulating this earth eat my ass bitch what are you doing yeah what are you doing slob sitting on the couch eating netflix yeah eating netflix you know what i mean yeah totally love a happy ending nothing turd love a toaster uh giving birth to a baby crouton it's everything it really really is and now i'm sure you miss that period and now you have your dress you can look back on what you could take your dress out of the closet because you miss it because it's stained from your

period i don't get it like you have like now when you don't have your period like you have your baby like you missed it like not being pregnant yeah now you can look back on your last period because it's right on your dress right now. No, you should frame it. Like, don't take the dress to the dry cleaners. Do what Monica Lewinsky did when, you know, Bill Clinton ejaculated on her dress. Keep it as a momentum. Memento.

Yeah. The last time it was just the two of us. Oh, yeah. Give it to your husband for his birthday. Yes. I love. It's so love. It's so romantic. It's so romantic. That's everything.

We are romantics, Turdy and I. At the end of the day, we are nothing if not hopeless romantics. Hopeless. Definitely hopeless. Baby, we're the new romantics. Come and come along with me. Toasty is our national anthem. We sing it proudly.

We're too busy toasting to get knocked off our feet. Maybe we're the new romantics. No, I got it. The best people in life are toasty. It wasn't great. I was a syllable off. The best people in life are steamy. So much better.

Shit, I should have just let you do it instead of bulldozing over you with my bad idea. It's okay. That's how the collaboration process works 100% and maybe you need like a truly bad idea to appreciate a good one yeah you need to hear it wrong first so you can be certain that what you've got is right Jax that's beautiful oh thank you turd And that is also our show Thank you so much For listening to the Toast the Millennial Morning Show Where we deliver the Fast 5 stories that you need to know

Every Monday through Friday On YouTube So if you're watching this on YouTube Please feel free to subscribe And give this video a thumbs up We're also available As podcasts anywhere Podcasts can be found

So that's Spotify, iTunes, Instagram, Public Video, iWeb, CastBox, All the places where you'll listen Podcasts, Vanessa, Toast, The Millennial Morning Show We are back to bar With our final show of the week

So make sure you head over To patreon.com So you never miss out on a day of content. We love you dearly. Dearly, dearly. Love you. And we'll see you. Bye.

And we'll see you tomorrow. Because we love you. Bye.