The Toast - Incredibly Cute Show: Tuesday, December 5th, 2023

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

 Amy Robach 'wanted to die' post-scandal, did 'welfare check' on T.J Holmes during 'year of hell' (Page Six) (22:04)Kenan Thompson Says It was 'Terrifying' to Get Personal in Memoir but Knew He Should 'Lay It All Out There' (PEOPLE) (30:19)Britney Spears' estranged dad, Jamie, has leg amputated after 'terrible infection' (Page Six) (35:51)Kim Kardashian to play Laura Wasser- Inspired Lawyer in a new drama series (Page Six) (43:28)Taylor Swift Is PEOPLE"s 2023 Most Intriguing People of the Year (PEOPLE) (49:43)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) The Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the toast and happy Tuesday. Hope everybody's having a blessed, truly blessed, truly, truly blessed day thus far. Speaking of blessed, speaking of blessed, allow me to introduce someone I'm so blessed to have in my life. It's Jackie O. Thank you, Latour. It's seven blessings on your head. Seven blessings on your head. May peace be with you.

Yes, I hope you have a blessed day as well. It's a Tuesday starting off with your girly swirly. So it's, it's off to a good start. I'm hoping. Yeah. I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I just have a feeling today's episode is going to be like so cute, you know? Cute. Do you think it's going to be cute because I'm wearing a dress? Uh, no. Cause I didn't even know you were wearing a seam loss. So I literally said it was going to be a cute episode before I even saw your bottom half because I can only see you from chest up. So I'm wearing a seam on I just want to I just want to give a quick you want to talk about I want to talk about it quickly because I never wear a seam lot on this remote setup and now I'm remembering

why so usually like when I have something to do right now today after this like I have to be wearing a seam lot for something so I was like why not wear a seam allow on the show instead of like wearing a sweatshirt and then changing I did that last week I had a luncheon it's like why not look nice on the show wow she had a luncheon she was lunching let's talk about the spelling of the word luncheon not before I finish talking about my seam allow just make a note will do so I was like why not just wear my lovely seam I knew I was gonna wear this after the show just wear it on the show and I'm not feeling it you want to know why first of all the remote I know why I know why set up with the headphones like you can't wear headphones and a seam like this no I disagree I mean that's like what are you gonna say if you

want to keep like cutting me off in the middle of my seam line monologue? I know why you wouldn't wear a seam line. It's the same reason I wouldn't wear a seam line. Uh, knees. I know knees, but I was like, you know what? That's a me problem. I'm going to go past the knees. Cause like, I'd rather look nice on the show and have my knees show than like another day of wearing a sweatshirt. Oh, that's where you and I differ, my friend. But it's like, it's just not the vibe of the chair and the setup and the headphones make it just like you know a different you're not supposed to be wearing a dress with these big headphones you're just not no if you're wearing like a big dress and big headphones like it's giving emo I guess I wasn't even thinking that it's just so conflicting, the two vibes.

Like this is like ethereal, girly, pretty, and then this is like tactical. Emo. That makes it even worse. I literally understand. I literally understand. Go downstairs and change. No, you look gorgina-vagina. No, it's like I do.

You have to try new things. No, I do. Like outside of this chair in this room and this angle like I love my fit I know it's not me it's like it's the setup and this was what I not you this was what I feared everyone sound off in the comments about how beautiful Jackie looks and how her knees are just giving young wait the thing is you can't even see my knees because this dress is like it's a it's not a long dress but when I sit there's a lot of extra material so it's below my knees it's just kind of a disaster today well I only see you from titties up and let

me just say you're looking gorgeous oh wow classy broad oh that's a lot of dress I know that's what I'm saying listen you made the decision and now we're gonna live with it so embrace the seamla I wanted to say why I'm wearing a seamla and why I won't be wearing a seamla in the future even though I have a lot of days down here where right after the show I put on a nice dress and why why we can't have nice dresses on this show this is why it's not a hundred percent right I'm also like kind of wearing something crazy you are wearing a Fendi sweater. And this is a Fendi sweater that like I purchased at a heavier weight. And it was like, I didn't, I don't love purchasing. I always felt like when I was heavier, like this is not permanent. This

is just a temporary situation, even though it lasted about 10 years. So I didn't like love investing in things because I'm like, well, when my time comes, I'm not gonna be able to wear it. And the idea of my time coming was always this sort of like mystical, futuristic thing that was never going to happen. But it happened. And I'm like, well, I invested in a few good things and I haven't worn this sweater in a really long time. And today I was just like, you know what? It's giving oversized. And the good thing about like nobody ever making anything in my size is that when I was much heavier this sweater really didn't actually fit me like I never would have zipped it it was more of just like an open moment and now that I'm smaller it zips and

it's just like oversized and I'm embracing it yeah that's really not that crazy to like have bought a sweater in a large size and then wear it like when you're smaller. It's not like something that has to be super fitted. I, like I engage in your seam lot gate. And you can engage in my cardigan gate if you wanted to. Yeah, I can. But I just feel like it's not that crazy. I didn't say it was crazy. I just thought that there was like a lot that went into picking out the sweater.

Yeah. And I feel like it's less about, you know, the size because you can be smaller and get size large, but more about like the logo mania that you're wearing a Fendi sweater. Yeah. This was one of my investments many, many years ago. When did I purchase this? It wasn't the one I made you buy. No, I think I got this actually for a steal on The Real Real, if I'm remembering correctly. Love it.

Even better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it works at any size, you're saying. It appears so. Sound off in the comments. Do I look stunning or what? Sisterhood of the Traveling Sweater. Yes, exactly.

So crazy that Serena Vanderwoodson was in that movie. And they all wore the same pants. Yeah. Do you think on set there was only one pair of pants? Or that. No. Serena was six feet tall. Like there was no way.

They were all different sizes. There was no way that one pair of jeans was fitting all of them. Okay. Who was it? Alexis Bledel, America Ferreira, Blake Lively, and Amber Tamlin. No, they all are different heights, sizes, everything. That's kind of shitty. Yeah.ively, and Amber Tamlin. No, they all are different heights, sizes, everything. That's kind of shitty. Yeah, Jackie, it's a movie.

It's called Magical Realism. I know, but I don't know. It's just like, okay, if they're not really all wearing the same pants, what's the point? Like, I hear you, but it's not a play. Like, it's a movie. No, I know. But it's like... What's the message?

I don't know. To me, it seems like even more far-fetched and fantasy if they're not wearing the same pants than Chronicles of Narnia. Wow. Yeah, no, it's definitely up there in terms of fantasticalism with Harry Potter. Yeah, it's like you have to world-build

and believe they could all wear the same pants. Right, and not only did they all wear the same exact pair of jeans, they all liked the way that they looked which would never happen even if there are two girls with the same exact bodies you give them both a pair of pants they're not both gonna like them like jeans are so personal. Yeah I just feel like it's a plot hole in the movie and the movie wasn't worth making if they couldn't all get in the same pair of jeans. Wow that's like a very hot and I want to say bad take. No, I know it's very hot.

And the thing is, there are so many other great parts about the movie, like Blake Lively and the soccer coach and the grease and, you know. And America Ferreira standing up to her parents. For sure. And the other girl, she was like not having a good summer, right? Amber Tamlin, I think it's been a while. I think her mom died. Oh, that's not what I remember. But then she certainly wasn't having a good summer.

No, yeah, someone's mom died. I think it was the soccer player. I think it was Blake Lively. It's not a coming of age movie unless the mother is dead. Yeah. So, yes, as I was saying, there's things everywhere in the genes in the movie, but the genes should have fit everyone well they didn't they might have no way let me google it let me see and like justice for america ferrera for like the entirety of her early career like always being cast as like a token fat person

when she low-key like wasn't even fat no that happens a lot like when you take a step back and you realize like oh that's supposed to be like you know what fat was considered like she was so normal looking yeah I didn't know that that was her role in the movie okay there's two yeah that's why they like couldn't believe that the pants fit America well also they were tall and short. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know. I know. And I can't talk about America Ferrera. And actually, nay, I won't talk about America Ferrera

without ending the sentence, si se puede. Yeah. Now that is a movie worth discussing. Now that's a message we can all agree on. What sport were they playing in that movie? Volleyball? Volleyball? If we both think it must be true. And is that a DCOM Disney Channel original film? It's hard to know if it was a DCOM or acquired by the D. Right. It's hard to know if it was a DCOM or it was just

getting the D. Yeah. That's such a good movie. And you're right. The message, si se puede, like you can, we can do this, is something that has carried me through the majority of my adult life. Yeah. It's giving like modern day Rosie the Riveter. It's giving modern day Rosie the Riveter. And that's just a universal, eternal message. We can do it.

Si se puede. What else can we do, Turdy? We can do this show and we can do it flaw Si se puede. What else can we do, Turdy? We can do this show and we can do it flawlessly, might I add. We also can talk about our respective book clubs because I know your book club met yesterday. Mine did as well. The thing about my book club is you'll all be privy to our council meeting on Thursday when the episode drops. It was a great episode.

Plus, it was our end of year recap episode. We rated the best Redheads books of the year and our favorite books that we read for the year extracurricularly. But the conversation about the memoir was really riveting and varied and multifaceted. And the thing that's frustrating, and if I had just read Brittany's memoir,

I would have been like, it's so good, Claude, read it. It's brief, it's quick. My Claude, read it. It's brief. It's quick. I told you my issue was that it wasn't very deep. It kind of scratched the surface and everybody else had that issue too. I can't really withstand book club scrutiny. Yet we had to do our jobs. Yeah, I understand that. We had a totally different experience at book club last night.

Like, finally, we all liked the book. Now Abe was being like a naysayer, but he's just a contrarian and we just ignore him. Everybody loved the book. It was such a good, it's a great book club choice. Like so many people had different things to contribute. So many people didn't even watch Friends, but still had like so much to take away from it. And there was just a really great conversation

about addiction for, you know, some people in the group who maybe haven't been touched by addiction or really don't know the extent of like how much of a disease it is. I think it's really helpful. And for me, like that was like how Dope Sick like totally taught me so much about addiction.

I think a lot of people had that experience with this book. It was such a good book club book. Finally, like we ended the year on a good note after just like, you know, loser book after loser book after loser book it happens it happens that's kind of the nature of book club yeah everyone thinks book club it's like fire books every month but no there's lows and there's highs yeah and we had finally hit a high last night and we went out to eat you know we're the ball of us to book club we usually do a home-cooked meal but it was the

end of the year I was supposed to, but with everything going on with Theo, like I just, my house is a dump and everybody understood. So then we thought it'd be nice to have like a little holiday party for the end of the year. We went to a kosher restaurant that I had never been to, but that's like a classic institution in the city. La Marais. Have you been?

Mm-mm. Let me tell you what was so good. Except, and this is the most classic kosher restaurant thing on the planet. I sat down. Not everyone was there yet. Just three of the girlies. We were like, we're going to have a soda. Hi, may we have three Diet Cokes, please?

Of course. Comes back, we're all out of Diet Coke. Like, that's just so classic kosher restaurant, like, running out of Diet Coke. So we had to settle for Coke zero. Yikes. Not the same. Not the same. Yikes.

So, like, that could have deterred the book club because that for me was monumental. Before everyone even got there, things were going awry. But we got it back on track. What are you reading next month? We haven't chosen yet. So this month wasn't anybody's particular choice. Because it was the end of the year, everybody nominated a book and then voted on another book.

This was my nomination, the Matthew Perry book. So yeah, I got to get like a check in my column. And then we start back at the top of the list in January with Raquel. Okay, and what's her vibe? Historical fiction, right?

She's a little all over the place. You know, the last book she chose was so un-Raquel because she's very smart, you know? So she'll always go for something intellectual. She chose One Italian Summer. And I was like, okay, not your best work, Raquel.

But I think she knows that. And so she's going to really come out strong this month. She's going to step it up. Yeah. She's going to step her pussy up. Next month, we have Margot's choice. I can't remember what she chose. There was a lot going on towards the end of the episode.

It got really crazy. I had to do like my math for the top Redheads books of the year because we all like rank them. But wait, I want to know what Margo chose. So think about it. Let me just text her and hopefully we'll get a response because what's so funny and this is how you know Margo like is half in on the redheads. But we had a conversation about this on yesterday's episode. Like she's not allowed to go anywhere. Oh, I was talked to texting, by the way. Talk to text is my new favorite thing. One second. What book did you choose for the redheads?

Question mark. Did you choose a book? Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. I also told her, this is what happened. Drama. At the end of every episode, we talk about the other books that we read this month.

Everybody gives a little monologue. I know people tune each other out. they check their phones while one person's talking it doesn't really require a response then Margo goes to tell her book and she's like we're reading Tom Lake by Ann Patchett I'm like Dana literally just said she just read that like could you be paying less attention less attention oh that's frustrating right but it's fine I mean I could cut it out what did she say she said oh't. Because I told her, take more time to pick your book and then just record the blurb and we'll add it to the episode inside our secret.

Also, something really exciting Redheads programming is we are doing, Margo and I, and you're welcome to join us if you finish the book. We're doing a little Iron Flame bonus episode. Oh my God. Okay, so I picked Iron Flame back up again yesterday. This book sucks okay but like does the idea of podcasting about it make you want to finish it like a little bit because you could but I have such a long way to go I know I might be at 42% like I honestly and it's the end of the year I feel like I want to start reading like a lot of

good short books like thrillers just to get my Goodreads up. And this book is delaying me because I'm dreading every time I pick up my Kindle. What's your Goodreads number at right now? I need to check. Great question. Last year I crushed it. And so I'm going to be less than last year, which I hate. Oh, I just hit my goal of the year, which was 40, which was.

I'm at 42. A conservative goal. But that was like. Sorry, I'm hit my goal of the year, which was 40, which was- I'm at 42. A conservative goal, but that was like- Sorry, I'm at 40, T-O-O. I got that. I surmised, but others might not have. Yeah, so I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do about this iron flamme. I'll let you know when we're recording so you can see if you want to finish it by then.

But what I was saying about talk to text is that one of my resolutions and maybe my only one is I want to get better at answering my texts that would be so fabulous I answer your tech I talk to you every minute of the day no you don't answer my text we don't text a lot we FaceTime like 35 times a day I'm not talking about you literally I couldn't be more communicative with you no no you could and that's the problem you have my full communication. You can't add yourself to the list. If that's your full communication, it's not good. Oh, wow.

OK, I'm I'm not even worried about that. I'm worried about just like I'll wake up in the middle of the night. Sometimes be like, I didn't answer that person's text. And it's like not someone I text that often. It's rude. It's fucking rude. So I'm now trying to text more. I'm utilizing talk to text and I will be utilizing voice notes because sometimes I just get so

overwhelmed with having to describe something that I don't. Voice note. But the hard part about being a girl who talks to text and sends voice memos is that sometimes you'll be talking to text and you'll be thinking you're recording a voice memo so you put like personality and and you know personification sounds in there and it doesn't translate that's not my issue my issue is when I do a voice note hey how are you question mark comma period exactly but it's better than not answering at all agreed so that's where I'm at that's what I'm working on I think that's a really good resolution Exactly. But it's better than not answering at all. Agreed.

So that's where I'm at. That's what I'm working on. I think that's a really good resolution. I think that is too. I know you don't do resolutions. Because I'm a perfect person. Because you're a perfect person. But if you did, would there be anything you would resolve? There are a few things, but I don't want to share them.

Oh, they're personal? Yeah. Huh, dirty. Keeping things close to the vest. Yeah, I'm a very private person who just finished her period. Good. Good. Good.

Good, I'm glad it's over. You and me both, sister. Thank you for keeping us abreast. I. Good. Good. I'm glad it's over. You and me both, sister. Thank you for keeping us abreast. I always am. Anyways, we were talking about our book clubs. All went well. And that's what's new with us, yeah? Yeah, we've got a great show.

Hopefully a super cute one. Super cute. Oh, I keep chuckling to myself because I keep expanding in my mind on the reference you made about an emo girl in the dress and the headphones. And like, that's literally, that's me today. Yeah. Thank you. I'm glad you see the vision.

Yeah. No, it's, it's too real. I think it's also the fact that your dress is pink and your headphones are black. Pink and black is one of the worst color combinations of all time. I think it's also the fact that your dress is pink and your headphones are black. It's terrible. Pink and black is one of the worst color combinations of all time. And it's so emo girl. Yeah. No, that's me.

Hey, that's me. So we're just going to push through. We're going to push through in the seam lab without further. We've been through tougher times. For sure. Without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know very appropriately is brought to you by Jenny Kane and the gorgeous apparel from Jenny Kane. Winter is right around the corner and our wardrobe could definitely use a refresh.

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It's time to ditch the underwire for good. Thanks to Honeylove. That's honeylove.com slash toast. Honeylove.com slash T-O-A-S-T. Save up to 20% off sitewide. Thank you, La. You're welcome. Our first story, some podcasting news amy roback and tj holmes the gma3 lovers

have launched a new podcast together on the one year anniversary of their scandal they are talking about their year of hell post scandal oh wow the ousted gma3 co-hosts look back on their relationship coming to light in november 2022 in the first episode of their Amy and TJ podcast. Amy teared up while telling listeners that she wanted to die as they navigated the fallout. She said, there were days when I wanted to die. That was something I never experienced before in my life. I just didn't want to get up. I didn't want to see what new headlines was going to be out there.

Elsewhere in the episode, she got emotional as she elaborated on the dark time TJ experienced after their romance went public, which led her to doing a wellness check on her partner in a terrifying moment she will never forget. She said her panic began when she was receiving texts from him in the past tense, as well as messages from ABC producers trying to get in touch with him.

She was so hysterical, she was afraid he had done something that she went over to his house and got into his room with the doorman's help she said you were just splayed out on your bed I ran to you and said TJ and you didn't move it was the most awful thing having to touch your body and see if you were warm I was so afraid you were just incoherent he explained how he ended up in the state he was in that day was essentially me getting off work and pounding vodka I didn't stop for several hours and took who knows how many weed edibles the duo who have proved they're still going strong with a joint half marathon and a recent red carpet debut went on to assure listeners that they are happier than ever and in love no seriously going through

like a public cancellation like will make you suicidal like and you really have to experience it to understand like how fucking traumatizing it is. And I actually believe these two, like this sounds hard. They went through it bad, especially they have a unique situation, which I kind of understand is like the level of fallout that they received wasn't congruous with the level of fame they were. I had never heard of these two people.

Most people had it. Let's be real. Nobody's watching the third hour of GMA, but the level of attention they got was that of Matt Lauer, you know, their counterpart. And so when your level of fame and success is so much lower than the level of attention you get for something negative, it can be really, really jarring. Yeah. Cause it's also your first experience with that level of fame and it's a negative, at least when you're like always getting positive attention and then something negative comes you know how to handle the mass amounts of attention no but it counteracts you know you get a lot of the good and you get the bad no but

it's also just that amount of people knowing you for the first time and have it be something bad that's how you're getting used to the spotlight. But then it's also so important to remember like, yeah, something bad. They were unfaithful, which is terrible. Nobody died. No, and when it happened, like I feel like we were pretty measured about that. I think they should have kept their jobs. I think people might have watched the third hour of GMA. I don't know why they had to be fired for this.

Right. I do. I assume like legally there's some sort of like morality clause in their contracts and this violates that, thus giving GMA a reason to fire them. I just don't know why GMA would want to. Morality clause is subjective and it can be used to fire someone when they are looking for a reason to fire them, but they also don't, they don't have to fire someone because they did something something immoral in fact they rarely do yeah I don't know why I agree I think this was good for the irrelevant hour of GMA3 who even knew that that existed and like these two people they had both said that they

were separated it's not like they you know just hooked up like they were in a relationship and they're still going strong so to have a third hour of GMA with a couple lovebirds, it's giving Mika and Joe. Yes. No, it's giving intrigue. It's giving interesting. Finally. And now they're trying to do it on Kelly and Mark and live. Right. Right. Kelly and Mark and live. Yeah. They wanted to bring the romance into that morning programming and they already had the romance here. Yeah. I don't know how successful their podcast is going to be, but I do respect the hustle. I respect capitalizing on the moment and being open and honest about what going through something like that is like. Yeah. I also wonder what their podcast will be about going

forward. Like obviously this is the episode. Maybe they can even do this for a while. Just like talking about what their year, I'm going to go to their podcast in the store and like see the description in the category. Like, gonna do news are they news people right because they were like anchors yeah so they've got the bug and who was producing said podcast iHeartRadio which makes sense because they were just on the iHeartRadio red carpet being super handsy and cute and bringing buzz to an iHeartRadio event so So it's in society and culture. Amy and TJ is hosted by renowned TV news anchors. Blah, blah, blah. Hosts and executive producers, Amy and TJ,

are a formidable broadcasting team with decades of experience delivering headline news and captivating viewers nationwide. Now the duo will get behind the mic to explore meaningful conversations about current events, pop culture, and everything in between. Nothing is off limits. Okay, so it's going to be like takes and the two of them.

It's going to be like about anything possible. It doesn't sound like they're pigeonholing themselves into a particular niche. No, and it's not going to be necessarily news. It's not in the news category and it's not going to be guests really either. So it's going to be the two of them talking about the world, which is what we do and can be done well if you have something interesting to say in our funny dynamic girlies. The cream rises.

So, you know, we shall see. Stay tuned for the flop or the success of the TJ and Amy podcast the TJ Amy yeah it's funny how when like you go to podcasting now she's like wearing a sweatshirt whereas like when she was um you know on GMA3 like always the blouse you know no she's slumming it with us now no but like now it's true for something about podcasting like you have to dress down it's like weird to dress up for a podcast which is what I I'm doing right now. And I feel weird. It's not weird to dress up for a podcast, but you do your best work. Podcasting is such a comfortable medium. And if you do it right, you do it with someone you're totally comfortable with and you, you share things

that maybe you wouldn't share ordinarily. And doing that in a crew neck, Uggs and leggings, it just, you will perform better. It's math. I can't explain it. That's not my exact feeling on the matter because you could be comfortable. I'm super comfortable in my Seamla. Super.

It's different. It's different. It's about the look. I can't, and she's not even wearing the big headphones. She'll get there. Maybe it's also because you're typically on a couch you wouldn't sit on in a dress on a couch but but all the late night shows have couches yeah and they look uncomfortable when they sit there they do actually they're like they're always sitting at the edge of the edge

with their legs they don't look comfortable yeah but the whole thing is uncomfortable so it's good to stay uncomfortable yeah but podcasting like we're gonna pull it out of you so you might as well be comfortable maybe also maybe it's also the length of podcasting it's very long you can't sit like that at the edge of a couch for over an hour an hour no but you're doing a three minute hit on Jimmy Fallon you can you know sit upright for three minutes if you must a hundred percent and it's the headphones they just require everything to be they change things dress differently it changes things it changes things so that's what's new for Amy and TJ and GMA missed out sorry you did I agree flop central for GMA3 the thing is like we told you at the time we all told you nobody was calling for

their heads no one was calling for these two to be removed from air air like nobody really cared we were just like this is juicy scandal was really i mean aside from them having an affair but like things got negative when they got fired if they had kept their jobs and cruised through it no and if we were able to then like tune into that maybe they take a week off and then they come back and everybody would tune in and be like oh is it awkward it did are they gonna say anything it creates intrigue it's like pr 101 this was so dumb it's weird it's almost like they wanted them out for other reasons and this was the perfect excuse but like what other reasons no i don't know they're good hosts

they see like lovely people who you know occasionally are separated and fall in love with their co-worker happens it happens i fell in love with my co-worker i was about to say i'm falling in love with you turtle lou i told you today's episode is gonna be so cute are you ready for our next story super super cute book news sc SCB? Wait. SCBN? Super, super, super. S-S-S-C. Great. Memoir dropping today. Celebrity memoir. Who?

One of Turdy's favorite people. Who? Is dropping his memoirs today. His? Who? Memoirs of a Kenan. Is that the name? No, I wish. Oh, I'm just waiting for a celebrity to name their book that.

His book is called When I Was Your Age and it drops today. He talks about. That's a cute name. Yeah, he talks about how it was terrifying to get personal in his memoir, but he knew he should lay it all out there. At book club yesterday, we did talk a lot about how Matthew Perry's book was amazing the title was horrible. What's it called? Friends Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing. Oh that's that's not memorable. And he talked in the book how he almost called the book Unaccompanied Minor

because there's like this fluid story about the first time he got sent to go visit his dad who abandoned him and it was like this traumatizing thing He realized he had this fear of abandonment. And like that would have been a better title. Yeah. Because he never grew up for that. He never grew out of that. Or Memoirs of a Matthew. No, it doesn't hit the same.

Like Memoirs of a Kenan was good. It's literally the same because it's the same syllables. Okay, if I wrote another book, how would I make it Memoirs of a Turdy or something? Right. It's better when it starts with a G. Okay, if I wrote another book, how would I make it? Memoirs of a turdy or something. Right. It's better when it starts with a G. Memoirs of a guenji.

Love. Love. Love. Anyway, Memoirs of a Kenan, also called When I Was Your Age, Life Lessons, Funny Stories, and Questionable Parenting, Advice from a Professional Clown. That's funny. That's a title. That's funny. It should have been called Advice from a professional clown that's funny that's a title that's that's funny it should have been called advice from a professional clown I do love like a title and

then a subtitle me too this one is very long and it only needed to be that it also could have been confessions of a professional clown yeah I love that love I think that Kenan's a great person to write a book because he really has lived of course he is like so famous now I mean just ask my uber driver but but he had like a real real career as a child star that makes for a great memoir yeah and he's continued to work he seems to have a very good head up his shoulders so like I want his advice yeah I would take his advice he's a hard-working person he's a successful person he's a parent funny person he's got something to say I would venture and he's funny exactly so like the writing is probably good and funny funny and he also writes for a living good and funny funny and he also writes for a living right this is a perfect candidate for a memoir I'm going to add it I'm literally going to take on my good reads and add it otherwise I will

completely forget same but when you tell me how many pages it is just before I I'm at a time of year where I really can't commit to anything more than like 350 pages but I do feel like this is going to be like the perfect sort of book for this time of year. Easy read. 240. Oh, I'm on my way. Literally reading it today. Hold on. I'm adding it to my Goodreads as well. And also feel free to spam the comments with like good short books.

I'm going to do like a couple of Freedom McFadden's, things that go quickly. GSBs? GSBs. Okay, yeah. Freedom McFadden always. Let me see if I've read anything recently that I would recommend to you. Kenan.

Why isn't it coming up? K-E-N-A-N, right? You have to keep writing. It's not in the Goodreads algorithm yet. T-H-O-M-P-S-O-N. Yeah, and it only has two ratings. That's why. Want to read. But he looks so cute on the cover.

He's kind of like a PJOM. Beyond. Oh, that'll be good. Yeah, so that's very exciting book news of the day that is exciting while we're in our celebrity memoirs era and I did say I want to read more non-fiction and that falls into this category and I feel like it's gonna be one of those books after you read it where you just like end up loving the person you know sure well this was what he said he did in an interview with people, like talking about writing a memoir. And he said, it's terrifying to open yourself up like that

because I guess I've not had to do that. You know what I mean? I've always been so performance heavy. I haven't had to do a whole lot of stuff of, let me explain where Kenan is now kind of stuff. Every interview is usually about the project or stuff like that. It's rarely about me personally.

This is the first time that I'm kind of offering all of that to people. It's scary, but it's cool. He also, you know, explains if you're going to write a memoir, you might as well just lay it all out there, which is exactly how I feel. If you're taking the time to write your memoirs, I want the truth. No, yeah. And no matter how like horrifying or embarrassing it is like that,

Matthew Perry's had so much stuff. I'm like, I can't believe he shared that. Like how many times he shit the bed because of his addiction. I felt that way about Josh Peck's book too. Like very honest about his addiction to the point where I was like, damn, I don't even know if I would have shared that.

Yeah, but I feel like if you can't be honest in general in your book, then it's not the time to write one or it's not the story to tell. So true. I mean, you can obviously keep a few things personal, but like the overarching story, like you got it. Yeah, I mean, you can obviously keep a few things personal, but like the overarching story, like you got to, I mean, what's the point otherwise?

Write a fiction book. Yeah. If you don't want to go there. Like Snooki. Remember when Snooki wrote a fiction book? No. About a little girl who goes to the Jersey Shore. Love it.

Obsessed. Remember when Kylie and Kendall wrote one? About these two like mystical fairies. Yeah. It's giving sisterhood of the traveling fans. I've literally thought the same thing. So that's your book news. Next story, a little more related book news for me.

Britney Spears' estranged dad, Jamie, has had his leg amputated after a terrible infection. Britney's estranged father, Jamie, had his leg amputated last month, a source in the pop star's hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana, told Page Six. Quote, he had a knee replacement and got a terrible infection from it. We hear Jamie underwent multiple unsuccessful surgeries prior to the amputation, which was a last resort. You know, our God is not a merciful God. He's vengeful.

And listen, you reap what you sow. Like, I'm not going to sit here saying feel better. Like, Yeah. It's a bad person. Yeah,

not, not the best, especially after having read the book. Right. And we, this news came out after we recorded The Redhead, so I'm not sure,

you know, what would have changed. Right, right. Just an anecdote. You know, there was talk at one point about Theo possibly amputating his leg because the cancer uh had gotten into his bones but they didn't think he would be a good candidate actually I do have a Theo update yesterday was Theo's second radiation appointment and we've been just like waiting to know if radiation is helping at all there's no

guarantee and after yesterday's scans and second round of radiation, we did find out that since week one, this is a four-week program, as of yesterday, he had only had one week under his belt, the tumor had not shrunk. But it hadn't grown. And I have to believe at the rate that things escalated so quickly in the last couple of weeks that it was going to continue to grow. The that it didn't grow I think is a good sign yeah the fact that it didn't grow kind of means that it shrunk because the growth right the growth that would have been

was shrunken yeah I want to assume that like next week the pre-existing tumor might shrink I'm really hoping yeah that's good so he did another round yesterday. He has another round of acupuncture this week. And then we'll see. I think next week will be like really telling. But I keep saying that, you know. No, it's good. It's good.

Yeah. Because it's not bad. It's true. It's true. Like it could have spread. Yeah. You didn't get bad news. That's so true.

And therefore, no news is good news. Yes, that's true. That it could have spread. Yeah. You didn't get bad news. That's so true. And therefore. That's true. No news is good news. Yes, that's true. That is. My life motto. It's true. Yeah. But it's when you're actually the one experiencing it. It's like, fuck off with your motto, you know?

No, no, no. Sure. But it's helpful. Mottos can be. I mean, when you. The word motto, I don't like. But having just like truths. To cling to. Yes, you said to me. Like in the heat. But having just like truths to cling to.

You said to me, like in the height of Theo's drama, you're just going to continue to do the next right thing. And you know what? That brought me peace. I feel like I'm always trying to tell you about this song from Frozen 2 called Do the Next Right Thing. You've got to listen to it. No, I just like when you say it to me.

It's so heartbreaking. Ana doesn't know where to go, where to turn. What's she going through? She's kind of like lost in a cave. Elsa like left because, you know, Elsa's like does superior things with her abilities. Elsa's also like selfish. Yeah, she's kind of a wench and she just like never trusts that Anna can handle anything. But Anna's still going to try and do it.

So Elsa, you might as well have brought her with you. Instead, you left your little sister in a cave. Olaf has melted anna has no one and what can she do the next right thing the next right just one foot in front of the other yeah literally until she gets out of the cave right and she can like build olaf back up right so is olaf not in the film no he is he is he was in it and then he melts and like then it's like where's the spirit of Olaf and then with Anna's Elsa's powers like she can bring him back right but like how long is he missing how long is he missing it's just no no in the chunk of the movie where things you know where there's a dip at the 75 percent of every movie like three quarters like things get bad Anna's at her lowest. Olaf's gone.

At the end, happy ending. Got it. So, spoiler alert. Are you ready for our next story? Is it our fourth story? Our fourth story. That's brought to you by Stamps.com. Did you forget to add Stamps.com to your holiday wish list this year?

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we would be talking about today. All of the stories, like it was actually a good day for stories in the sense that some days there's absolutely nothing. Some days there's like one or two biggies and then the three, I can't find anything. These were five that came together.

I couldn't even figure out a way to order them because they were all of equal to little importance. Understood. Including the fact that Kim Kardashian is going to be playing a Laura Wasser inspired lawyer in a new drama series and Chris is executive producing so Kim is adding even more to her acting resume now she will play LA's most successful divorce lawyer and the owner of an all-female law firm in a legal drama per deadline the show is being written by brothers and sisters creator and playwright john robin bates executive throw back to brothers and sisters like always being on after housewives when we were like 11 did anybody ever getting like our pity view because we couldn't turn off the television so true executive produced

by ryan murphy streamed on h, and also produced by Kris Jenner. The role is reportedly based on famed divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who has represented numerous A-listers, including Ryan Reynolds, Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears, and Kevin Costner. Reminds me of that character that Laura Dern played in, where was she like a very funny, famous divorce lawyer? It might have been Marriage Story. Yes, I didn't see that. She was great in that. Um, and so funny. I actually read an article yesterday where Ted Sarandos, the CEO of Netflix was saying that expect to see a lot of lawyer TV shows in the next year on different platforms because of the success Suits is having on Netflix.

And this just sounds like that. Yeah, it does. That makes sense. Yeah. I am still like beyond confused with Kim's recent obsession with becoming like a famous actor, director, Hollywood, you know, artist. It literally makes no sense to me. She did a very good job in the Ryan Murphy thing. And I understood the Ryan Murphy first thing as like doing it once, proving to everyone that you could do it, having it on your resume. Ryan Murphy's iconic. Like I totally got it. And the character she played was so Kim.

Like it was this Hollywood PR girl. But making a career of it, like I don't understand. Everything Kim has done, like I do understand. Like I understand wanting to be a lawyer. I understand wanting to be like the biggest fashion house. Like I I understand wanting to be a lawyer. I understand wanting to be, like, the biggest fashion house. Like, I understand everything she's done thus far. I don't understand this. No, me neither.

Unless... It feels like a step back. It does feel like a step back. And, like, something that she surpassed a long time ago, like, when there was a time to be an actress, would have been, you know, years ago. But now she's accomplished so much more than acting. Unless they say, like, maybe she has the acting bug.

Maybe this is a passion. Maybe she's at the point in her life where like she's done so much for her business and her and her family and her wallet and now she wants to pursue her passions maybe acting is that I would understand that I would understand especially because she said on a recent episode of Kardashians that she actually lost money doing the American Horror Story thing because she rented this like billion dollar apartment in New York for the time that she had to be there so she ended up losing money and so I would hope this is a passion yeah you lose money on your passions and that's okay that's why you do the things that you're not passionate right in order to fund your passions and I feel like maybe at her age she's like I want to be creative and artistic and she's just in this era of creativity art

that I would actually understand yeah actually I would as well but I think everything Kim does is so strategic maybe she's tired of being strategic and she just wants to be a part of the theater maybe you ever feel that way no however I could also see this strategically being like her way of maybe following in like the Reese mold where you know you get involved then you create a production company and then you have a billion dollar business you know she has a billion dollar business but I think what we learned from the most recent season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians is that it's never enough I I that that's what Courtney was saying it does seem to be the obvious answer that she wants to do more she wants to conquer every single field

just to say that she kind of right the haters wrong which is what she's like always saying but this is just like too far so I feel like it can't be that because that doesn't make sense for this no I, I agree. I would love for someone to just tell me like what's going on because I am confused. She has a passion for acting. Okay. I'm confused too. Yeah.

It's just not adding up. The show sounds good. I mean, it kind of sounds like Drop Dead Diva, but. I'm so glad. So glad you brought up Drop Dead Diva. And Kim was on on Drop Dead Diva so maybe that's where she got the bug Kim was on Drop Dead Diva so I think that's where she wanted to pursue this and I think she's been waiting all these years because she was just an extra I think she saw what they were doing on that set and said one day I'm gonna make myself so big so so powerful,

so successful that they can't ignore me. You guys, if you have never watched Drop Dead Diva, it is the best. It was on Netflix when I watched it. I don't know where it is now. Hopefully it's still on Netflix. And I don't know how many seasons there were, but let me tell you,

it was the best show I'd ever watched in my life. Like for real. I didn't love it. I know we've had this conversation before. I just need to just say that. But now, but I love how much you love it. And it didn't love it. I know. We've had this conversation before. Yeah, I just need to just say that. But I love how much you love it. And it didn't like offend me or anything. Nope, Jackie.

Nobody loved it more than Ben Soffer. He was obsessed. It's a good show. Like it's not offensive. It's super cute. And you learn like legal jargon along the way. And it's just like well done. Also, Zach has been watching Suits.

So I kind of like weighed in and out like when I'm getting a snack in the kitchen and one of the episodes like there was a Mackenzie file yes there was I noted that as well I was like Jackie because we didn't like pull the Mackenzie file out of thin air I know it was so classic it was classic stuff but it's not like we we ever watched Suits. Jackie, it's on the West Wing. It's on everything. Grab the McKenzie file and hand it to my office.

Yeah. It's always the McKenzie file. It is the McKenzie file. What did McKenzie do? It's a good question. I think I know. I think I know, too. Kim. WYD, what are you doing? I think I know too Kim W-I-D

What are you doing? Yeah Are you ready for our Fifth and final story? The final story Yes I'm ready People Magazine Is making a list

Checking it twice People Magazine Is making a list, checking it twice. People Magazine is pretending they interviewed Taylor Swift. Let's call it what it is. They have a new list and topping the most intriguing people of the year for 2023 is Taylor Swift for them. They have a gorgeous cover and speaking to people in her life about why she's the most intriguing person of the year. I don't know if this is a new category that they've launched. People's. It's like a new list. People's most intriguing. I feel like everybody has their thing. Like they

have Time's most influential. Well, that's what I wanted to talk about because there's a lot of speculation now. Time's person of the year is coming out soon. And you know who people think it's going to be. Of course, a lot of people think it's going to be Taylor but they do um they go like rogue you know they'll do like Putin or you know yeah yeah I think last year it was I I didn't it was my episode with Dumois oh I think it was um Zelensky right so they don't always go for like the obvious like American choice yeah well let me i love looking at the old but it really has to be taylor right well wait here are the nine finalists oh oh maybe that's why people were talking about it okay no and also like it's almost time okay

finalists for the times person of the year hollywood strikers okay um the president of china president xi what what's his name it's xi but i think it's pronounced xi xi yeah xi jingping also not pronounced correctly taylor swift is a finalist see that's like why the the the crop of people is so weird yeah um Sam Altman is a finalist he should not win no he had no I'm sorry we we just found out his name like collectively as a you know as a generation last week yes um he had like one one buzzy week but I guess he also like invented chat GPT and it was kind of the year honestly AI should be the person of the year no literally like a robot yeah uh that would be very poetic next nomination Trump prosecutors okay like is that a group of people uh yeah oh I guess like the SAG people are also a group so it could be like

yeah I think at one point it was like you know know, the nurses of COVID. Right, right, right. They do groups sometimes. That's true. They do groups, which I like a person. I like a person too. It's the person of the year. Next, Barbie. I'm sorry. Well, is it Margot Robbie? No, Barbie, like TM.

If Barbie is our person of the year, we have trouble. Yeah. Like, take a look at the year we have trouble yeah like take a look at the year and maybe that would be a signal to the ridiculous state of the world perhaps next option vladimir putin yeah like that's so classic time i think there are a bunch of people who who are kind of finalists every year always in the running like elon's not on the list but he should be yeah uh next finalist King Charles Cavalier Spaniel the third yeah he's he didn't really make much of an impact but I see why he would year after you know I see why he would be a lifetime of waiting I you know what

it's not it wasn't his year at all but like technically it was no if there ever was a year would be this year and the fact that it's not is just so sad for him and then the last one is Jerome Powell who is the chairman of the Federal Reserve I just feel like things aren't really going well over there so maybe not his year no but also by the way but when time names a person of the year it doesn't always mean good no no but it's like that's true like Osama bin Laden was the person of the year when everybody hated him. Now we love him. Yeah, I think at one point Hitler was the person of the year. Right. Of the year. So it doesn't always mean, it's not always a positive accolade.

Like if Taylor Swift got it, of course it would be. But then it's just weird that there's an award that Taylor Swift has gotten and so has Hitler, you know? Yeah, let's go to the last few years. Even though we do this every year, I'm sure you guys can't remember either. Hold on. I'm scrambling. years even though we do this every year i'm sure you guys can't remember either hold on i'm scrambling i promise that you'll never find another like me okay sorry i'm struggling

you want me to start yeah i'm just like it's not as okay oh it started in 1927 with charles lindbergh let me just confirm that at one point oh 1936 wallace simpson i feel that oh yeah but see that's not necessarily positive no no but she led to the abdication like she was it was her year right uh 1938 was hitler 1939 was stalin But see, in 38 and 39, do you think they were naming them in a positive way? Because we didn't know what was to come, you know? No. It wasn't in like a super positive way, but in the sense that he was, you know,

influential and it was his big year, but he'd been prattling on about his genocidal tendencies for years at that point. It wasn't really a secret. And by then, you know, Anschlusses had happened, like Germany and Austria unification. 1939 was Stalin.

1940 was Winston Churchill. Okay, can you just do the highlights though? Like you don't have to go through everything. Oh, for sure. To me, these are highlights. Yeah, no, no. You're doing a good job. I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to go

like year by year. No, I wasn't. But like these are wartime. And it's, you know, at least I had their priorities in order. It wasn't Barbie in 1941. It but like these are wartime and it's you know at least i had their priorities in order it wasn't barbie in 1941 it was franklin delano roosevelt 1942 stalin got it again 1943 george damn double homicide 1943 george c marshall who was um okay you could have skipped 1944 eisenhower 1940 you could skip 45 truman okay now we'll keep going because there was a lot of

heads of state 1952 elizabeth ii when she was a seating their throne we'll keep going all the way down let's go to recent history last year was oh i'm sorry it wasn't Zelensky it was the spirit of Ukraine okay okay so it's not even a person it's a spirit I just feel like that's a loophole like just why don't you do the people of Ukraine like the spirit it says it right here oh oh I'm sorry it was it was Zelensky there were two winners it was Zelensky and the spirit of Ukraine oh okay at least there was an actual person it's a person of the year yeah um okay before that so this year it should be the spirit of the Israelis it should before by logic by 2021 it was Elon Musk okay in 2020 it was Joe Biden and Kamala Harris was Was that the year they won?

Yes. They hadn't been in yet. Right, right, right. That's so confusing, by the way. 2019, Greta Thunberg. I've had enough of her. That doesn't age well. No. Neither did she.

Oh, pew, pew, pew! 2018, it was the Guardians, who are journalists who faced persecution, or murder for their reporting so it's four oh no yeah four different reporters 2017 was the silence breakers the people who spoke out against sexual abuse and harassment including the figureheads of the american to movement oh the disgrace to me too yeah and also taylor swift was a part of that yes and ashley judd susan fowler and heads of the me too movement so that doesn't really age well either 2016 was donald trump the year he was elected 2015 angela merkel chancellor of germany oh she's so classic that lady classic i don't even think she is a leader anymore,

but she's just like always in the mix. I don't know anything about her, but there's something about her name, Merkel. Like, that's my girl. It's like Merkel. It's like Merkel Sparkle off-brand. Yeah, Merkel Derkel. It's the Merkel Sparkle.

Yes. Yes. Yes. In 2014, it was the ebola fighters oh what did we know then i'm surprised like fauci never got it oh yeah and what about our girl deborah burks no she was um a flash in the pan she didn't have what it took honestly she got fired and honestly i think it had to do with her being on the toast like no but like she was just like not about it she was like this guy she was more about the scarves about the scarves and she was about the work and then i think she saw where things were going she's like i'm happy to be fired by you clowns

meanwhile fauci took it all the way yeah and he didn't even get time percent of the year no but he got like everything else yeah yeah yeah I'm not I'm not worried about him and his accolades um and then do you want to hear 2013 Pope Francis no so it does sound like they don't often do like a celebrity pop culture moment. However, this year has been unprecedented for Taylor Swift. So I actually do think she could win. I do think she could win too. So who is your prediction based on who they- Read them again.

Right now, knowing what we know. The Hollywood Strikers. No. They have a chance based on the fact that- They do have a chance. Like it hasn't been a group of people in a few years. They do have a chance, but I don't think it's going to be them.

I don't think their impact was greater than Taylor Swift. President Xi? I don't know. There's a lot going on with China. And granted, I don't understand all of it, albeit most of it, but I do know that he's powerful. So I'll, yes, maybe.

I think he will win. I don't think it's his year. It's giving 49ers. Oh, okay. You know, like a Super Bowl team for sure not his year okay Taylor Swift you think he has more in him yeah he's got more to give I just think it's someone else's time and it could be Taylor Swift but that would be crazy actually if she got it just based on like it's typically heads of state or yeah but seriously like every head of every head of state of countries that Taylor visited like bowed down to Taylor like she's on that level no no no I agree Sam Altman no Trump prosecutors no even though they do like

a group but I'm gonna think no Barbie please no for the sake of humanity. Okay, but like it's impact. No, I'm not saying they deserve it. I'm saying like I could see them giving it to Barbie for real. It was Barbie mania. You have to think about the year. But it was also like manufactured Barbie mania. No, and they love to do something different. Like, you know, it's not a person.

It's a group. It's a spirit. It's a doll it I agree that they would like to give it to Barbie but I just don't think that they can do that and still be considered like serious right serious true Vladimir Putin again I don't think it's his time I don't know I don't feel like he did a lot this year I'm sure he did but like in the grand scheme of a global I don't know I'm hearing his name a lot I don't know but then if you think back to the 1930s it was like Hitler Stalin Roosevelt you know right before it was Ukraine this year might be him it kind of if there's a pattern yeah next King Charles III no and Jerome Powell. So it's really between Taylor Swift. Putin. And the Hollywood Strikers.

And SAG. I'm going to say Taylor Swift. And I also think giving it to Barbie would kind of be an affront to the Hollywood Strikers, is all I'm saying. So true. So true. So I think those two cancel each other out. Taylor Swift.

Yeah. I feel confident, actually, in saying that it will be Taylor Swift. Oh, I hope we don't have to wait too long to find out. But that's just the weird thing about time person of the year. Like it goes to people like Taylor Swift and Stalin, you know? But looking at the list that we just read, it really doesn't go to people like Taylor Swift. Like Taylor Swift.

Right. Like have the Beatles ever gotten it? I'm sure that they have. I need to go back to that page I was on that was hard to find. Like have the Beatles ever gotten it? I'm sure that they have. I need to go back to that page I was on that was hard to find. Because I feel like the only real comparable

music group or musician in history to what we're experiencing with Taylor Swift now is the Beatles with Beatlemania. And I'm sure that they have gotten time person of the year. What year would that have been? Like the 60s? 60s.

Apollo 8 astronauts. That's a good one. I'm not seeing the Beatles yet. Damn. Damn. American women. Well, that's a miss. That's nice.

That's a miss. Yeah, that is a miss. Really, there's not. I can't see one comp to Taylor Swift. Not one. Well, then her winning would be like another historic thing she sets the precedent for. No, based on this, it would be historic if she won.

There's not, I mean, closest person to that I can see in my brief scroll is like Mark Zuckerberg. And that's not even a comp. No, it's not a comp. Who was the one that we said in the beginning? Hold on. it felt like wallace simpson right that's but that's still like a head of state no no i know it would be really a major if she won actually okay well now now i'm actually looking forward to seeing who

they choose yeah but if she doesn't win she can take solace in knowing that she was people's most intriguing person of the year. Right. So there's always that. Cushioning the below. Cushioning the below. Well, as predicted, that was an incredibly cute show. And Jackie and her seamla are done with the stories.

Me and my incredibly oversized cardigan because I'm so small and frail are feeling good about today's episode and hope everybody enjoyed. So thank you so much for listening to The Toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast five stories

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