The Toast - Influencer Protection Program: Wednesday, March 20th, 2024

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

Dan Schneider Responds in On-Camera Video to Disturbing Revelations in Quiet on Set (PEOPLE) (17:53)Beyonce Says Act II: Cowboy Carter Was 'Born' Out of an Experience Where She Didn't Feel 'Welcomed' (PEOPLE) (31:40)Kate Middleton's medical records part of hospital security breach (Page Six) (40:08)'Tired' Kyle Richards reacts to niece Paris Hilton bashing Mauricio Umansky (Page Six) (48:35)Travis Kelce in talks to host 'Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?' reboot (Page Six) (55:05)Dear Toasters Advice Segment (57:38)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to The Toast and happy Wednesday. It is hump day, a guy-dis-guy-dis-guy-dis day here at Toast HQ. I'm at Toast HQ NYC. Jax is in Toast HQ FLA. Hey, Curly, how's it going? It's going good. Happy hump day. I feel as though it feels right to be a Wednesday.

You know, it's the latter half of the week. Once we're through with this episode, Claude, we're further in than we are away from it. I think that's really exciting. I have like so many exciting things on the horizon for me today. Like what? Actually, no, like I was being sarcastic, but there really is so many exciting things happening.

My final furniture delivery from Crate & Barrel, I had placed this enormous order. It's come in installments. And the two big items the pull-out couch for my second bedroom where you and your family will be sleeping one day god willing my bed my bed has been broken I've been sleeping on a broken bed for like two years and I really I finally got myself like a real ass bed custom you know from Crate and Barrel I can't believe you still are using that other bed I think we all remember when Ben broke it. No, different bed, different bed. Oh, okay. The one that Ben broke, that was a devastating loss

because that was a real bed too. Then I was like, you know what? These beds keep breaking. I bought an actual $400 bed from Wayfair. The fact that it has lasted me six years, I just want to say speaks to Wayfair's true quality. And it had a storage drawer underneath. I got a new bed, Crate and Barrel, with a storage drawer.

I'm really excited about it. So that's happening today. My apartment will be done by today. That's exciting. Then I have to hit up the kosher grocer, which is always just a thrill. When I tell you my life has changed. Then I'm seeing. Do you find yourself eating more protein now?

Yes. Are you all protein-ed up? Every single night. And so funny, so last night I went to an engagement party on, you know, on the Upper East,

Jewish community. Let me tell you, there were two topics of conversation going around the entire party and two only. Well, three, actually. Third.

The toast. Well, four. Okay. First was, of course, the beautiful couple, Mazel Tov, you know. Mazel Tov. The second, Ozempic. What I i tell you every person was talking about ozempic three orys the new kosher grocer the fruit platter for the engagement party was from orys everybody said oh this is such good fruit from orys so like what i

i thought it really had only revitalized my life when i tell you every conversation someone was like have you had the salad dressing and i was like no have you someone was like, have you had the salad dressing? And I was like, no. Have you? No, and I said, have you had the rotisserie chicken? I'm kind of the rotisserie chicken champion. People have really discovered the rotisserie chicken through me. But then literally people keep starting rumors about this grocery store. Someone's like, I heard that they're getting a frozen yogurt machine.

I'm like, well, actually, I heard that too. So it might be true. But then I heard from my friend Margo, and she saw it with her own eyes, that they are now selling pre-made briskets that are that are delicious so everybody's starting rumors about this grocery store I'm telling you the grocery stores flip the community on its head that's so beautiful but they could serve ice cream like and chicken you know what I I thought about that from a kosher perspective as a grocery store yes as long as you're in like separate sections separate kitchens but if you're a restaurant,

like with a kitchen, you're obviously only selling meat or dairy. Yeah. I guess unless you had two kitchens in your restaurant. That would be, you know, a high budget restaurant. And different tables too and different sort of where.

Very interesting. I'm excited for you. So that's just like, and then I'm going, I'm sorry, to a concert. Seeing my Queenie, Kelsey Baller Queenie, you know? Oh. Yeah. Very lovely. So it's just like, and then I'm going, I'm sorry, to a concert. Seeing my Queenie, Kelsey Baller Queenie, you know? Oh.

Yeah. Very lovely. So it's just kind of amazing. And then by the time I'm done with the day, it's the hers day. Exactly. What about you? Busy day. I'm a little queasy today.

It started last night as I was going to sleep. I was like feeling nauseous, but I was like, okay, well, I'll go to sleep then. What if I just took a nap? Like it makes me feel like I want to lay down right so why don't I just stay laying and then as I was doing my makeup this morning I was like hmm yeah I feel a little amiss can't pinpoint it so just gonna watch that oh my god something's up with Jax you guys nothing like crazy I just I'm in tune with my body and I'm saying I don't feel a hundred percent I feel kind of like out of focus you know when that happens yes so funny I'm really not a person who's in tune with her body I'm in tune with what's necessary

but not my body you're not like you can't feel if something's a little different no no no and like sometimes I like I'm completely fine normal and healthy and I'm like, oh my God, something's off and like nothing's off. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not in tune. I feel like

if you felt this way like you would notice just like a low grade queasiness I would say. I don't know, maybe I need a Zofran. Are you? Pregnant?

No. Okay, did you check? I don't have to. It's not possible. Okay. Did you check? I don't have to. It's not possible. Okay. Yeah. Zofran, perhaps. I don't have one.

Oh, let me tell you something about Zofran. Gotta ask around. Anyone have a Zofran? They need to make that shit more accessible. You know, every time I get on my soapbox about Ozempic, Wagovi, Manjaro, more accessible, affordable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Throw Zofran in there, too.

You shouldn't need a prescription for that shit. It's like the only thing on the planet that actually gets rid of nausea and you need a prescription for it? Yeah, because it works. Like, stop. Stop being like a gatekeeping girl boss.

Just go. Yeah, now I'm craving one. I'm itching for one. So I was... I'm all out because I'm so generous with mine because I feel so strong. You are so generous with your Zofran.

About universal Zofran prescription. I literally, like like you won't catch me giving my Zofran to a dying person like I that shit is like a liquid gold it's so amazing like when you're hungover obviously I was prescribed for migraines I got with my migraine medication Zofran because migraines can also cause nausea and I was just I always got double the amount of Zofran and they would give me five migraine pills for a month. Like fucking rude. Step it up. No, I think. And they would give me so much Zofran. So I was super generous with it to the point that I don't have any. The greatest part of Ozempic is obviously the weight loss. But I would say coming in close second is more often than not, you get a prescription for Zofran along with it because it can cause nausea and let me tell you like they should sell drug dealers should get into that oh and just to clear up some more

rumors that might be started about me i'm not on ozempic even though i'm nauseous oh my god are people saying that no i haven't seen one person say it and honestly it's a little fucking like it's fucking rude maybe yeah can't say can't confirm or deny if I'm on Ozempic. No, I'm cackling. No, but I feel like because of what I'm saying today, people could conclude that I'm on Ozempic and I'm a big champion of the drug. But put the rumors, future rumors to rest,

even though I know it looks like I am. It does. I'm not. It does. It's honestly a little rude that I haven't seen any speculation. I'll start it.

She's literally on Osepik. I saw her shoot herself up when I was at her house. Okay. I started it now. No, no, no. Now people don't really think so. That's not a rumor.

That's a confirmation. Jackie O is on Osepik. That's a confirmation, Claudia. You just have to give them crumbs. Can't confirm or deny. I can confirm. I saw her shooting it up oh it's good it's a lie that's and you get what you asked for okay yeah I'll put

it out now people will really be confused they'll be like but Jackie now you really need to stay on point with your health journey no I know because they're gonna be like ozempic didn't work for her yikes wait okay so last night at this engagement it was, I of course ended up in the room with the dessert and the older women. That's just like kind of where I sort of gravitate. And of course, everybody was talking about Oprah's Ozempic special. And it really, I got to see firsthand

like how I feel, like the impact that it's had. People were just like talking, everyone was talking about it so positive. They love the special. You know, people said it should have been longer. And it was so fabulous to kind of see it firsthand. Yeah. And I was talking to my, so it was my best friend Alicia's house.

Her mom is, do you know that Esther is the biggest toaster? I know she listens to the show. Yeah. No, every single day. Hi Esther. So she picks up her mom every day. And so sometimes her mom's like, no, I don't need to be picked up. She's like, no, no, you don't understand.

I need to get in the car so I can listen to the toast and um so she comes over to me and she's like let me ask you a question this may be so dumb but like how do I listen to old episodes she's like the like I can't get past two years ago and people have been saying and what is that you know Apple and Spotify like cut us off we're being silenced I feel like there's only a maximum number of episodes that they can host yeah per show or that they do host so I think you have to go to YouTube so I said you know thankfully the archive's always on YouTube but for me that's painful because YouTube is basically like a timeline of my weight loss and gains over the years yeah but you also have said that you want all episodes to be gone so I have said that I would think that Apple and

Spotify cutting us off wouldn't be a bad thing I think as a part of like some sort of influencer said that you want all episodes to be gone so I have said that I would think that Apple and Spotify cutting us off wouldn't be a bad thing I think as a part of like some sort of influencer safety net you know podcast influencer protection policy the influencer protection program is like a subscription you pay yearly that after after content is I want to say two years old it needs to be erased the culture changes we can only be held responsible for what we said in the moment like holding somebody's feet to the fire for something they said five years ago like I don't know her I need a program like that and it needs to be called the influencer protection program okay the IPP I love that I think we should start it yeah I would do it even though

two years then what about like my wedding photos okay on, that's why I have to post them every anniversary. That's cool too. That's what the Influencer Protection Program does. Like they weigh. Fift through. Yeah, like anything personal, wishing a happy birthday to your spouse. Like, of course, that stays. But anything, you know, topical or a little bit, you know, murky.

What if you wish a happy birthday to your spouse and you're like. Happy birthday, R-word? Well, that would then be alerted by the IPP. I don't know why you would be calling your significant other the R-word, but I see what you're saying. Like it could be a joke you guys have. Right, right. That doesn't age well. In a time where everyone was saying that word. No, I understand.

The IPP would flag that for sure. And maybe when they felt the culture changing, that flag, that folder of our word content would be immediately washed away. Yeah. I think we're onto something. A thousand percent. But I don't want to limit it to influencers. Like it's really comedians. Yeah, people need that for their jobs going forward. You know, just a social media cleansing program. So I'm glad you brought up rumors being being spread about you i don't know if you know that there's like a conspiracy theory about us tell me everything it's one of those things where people think like we're like cooler and more hollywood than we are it's true i don't care what it is it's true extra extra what is it people were blowing us up on social media yesterday for not talking about quiet on set the documentary they think we're like involved like and they're like, why haven't the girls spoken about it?

And it's first of all, we literally spoke about it the day before yesterday and last week. And the time before that. And I saw those comments and that's just people to me who don't watch the show. No, but there's like a full theory that we're like protecting Dan Schneider. If you read my book, you know. You don't watch the show. You don't watch the show if you think that.

I haven't watched a documentary yet either. But I saw on TikTok yesterday, and of course it's a story today, Dan Schneider did a podcast. He did an interview. It was a podcast. That's where it was. It was? That person has a podcast?

I think so, no. I mean, they were sitting in chairs with sheer mics. Did they have mics? Did they not? No no they were just sitting in chairs facing each other I think that person the vibe I got is that person is a friend of Dan Schneider's and I think people probably like him and he felt like he wanted to sit down with Dan to clear up some room that person and they gave it to the Hollywood Reporter is a former iCarly star yes star and they gave it it's from the hollywood reporter i watched it

on x but they they did give it to the hollywood reporter i watched it on the hollywood reporters tiktok and you're right they don't have microphones it's not a podcast it's just a piece of content so funny how my brain is sort of manipulated into thinking two people in chairs looking at each other is a podcast no nothing about that was giving podcasts because it was so quick and brief. It was so weird. And if you're a podcaster, like we have the time to talk. That's actually so true. It was only 19 minutes.

It was just like question, answer, question, answer, question, answer. The pace of it, it was so fast paced to me. I never could have mistaken it for a podcast. Yeah, there was no sort of conversation after Dan gave one of his answers. It was just like, okay, moving on. Yeah, thank you for clearing that up, even though you barely did. Yeah, barely did. And by the way, not Dan Schneider getting on the Ozempic train.

Oh, yeah. Dan Schneider looks like he lost 200 pounds. Yeah, he does look slimmed down. Yeah. And he has a goatee. He doesn't deserve Ozempic. It's too good for him. slimmed down. Yeah. And he has a goatee. He doesn't deserve Rosempic. It's too good for him.

Give it to someone who can't afford it like for real and who really needs it. Well we'll get into that interview. So I guess without further ado did you watch Vanderpump Rules

last night? I didn't. I was at an engagement party. Right. I watched it. I'm struggling to remember what happened. If you want to table it

for like maybe next week we could do like a two episode recap because I didn't watch it. And I do have dear toasters for today. Yeah, but no, I didn't have any pressing feelings or thoughts. So it doesn't even matter. Great. So without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Game Time.

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get started. It's one of those things like hashtag just do it, you know, just do it. And you can do so at betterhelp.com slash T-O-A-S-T. Today's episode is also brought to you by Prolon. These days, a lot of people are learning about all the benefits of fasting, like weight loss, mental and physical performance, and gut health. But they worry about the whole not eating part. That's exactly why Prolon was created. Introducing Prolon, a revolutionary plant-based nutrition program that nourishes the body while making cells believe they're fasting.

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rejuvenated and energized, try Prolon, the scientifically proven meal plan solution that you've been waiting for. So head to prolonlife-O-L-O-N life.com slash toast for a special offer of 10% off their five-day nutrition program. Thank you. Are you ready for our first story? I am. Dan Schneider responds in an on-camera video to disturbing revelations in Quiet On Set.

So Dan Schneider, he posted the video to his YouTube channel at Dan Warp. Oh, he did? And yes, it was a 20-minute interview with Boogie, who plays Tebow on iCarly. So people have seen the allegations in Quiet on Set, the dark side of kids TV that has been airing over the last few days. And Dan Schneider is being... Held accountable.

Held accountable. So he is asked about some of the more egregious allegations made in that series he said quote facing my past behaviors some of which are embarrassing and that I regret I definitely owe some people a pretty strong apology he spoke about the series allegations that he continuously requested female writers to massage him in front of other writers and crew members he said it was wrong it was wrong that I ever put anybody in that position it was the wrong thing to do I'd never do it today I'm embarrassed that I did it then I apologize to anybody that I ever put in that situation additionally I apologize to the people who

were walking around video village or wherever they happened because there were lots of people there who witnessed it and who also may have felt uncomfortable so I owe them an apology as well he talks about the jokes that have been deemed inappropriate now that were made on the show and he apologizes for those while also saying you know there were a lot of people. Whose job it was to approve that. Whose job it was to approve that, who wrote that and you know everybody gave those things the green light but overall he's saying I'm so sorry these things shouldn't have happened. I wouldn't do it now. I wish I didn't do it then um okay so first of all I thought the turnaround time was really crazy almost like he knew like like this was pre

recorded like he knew what was going to be said about him like maybe he got a screener because really yesterday was I feel like yesterday the second episode the second part of the documentary had dropped but I think much more of the more egregious allegations. And literally, like while it's going viral, like the second people start talking about it, he drops his thing. Like I just thought the timing was kind of crazy, no? I don't think so. I think we've been talking about the fact that this thing was coming out for a few weeks. So I'm sure he knew and I'm sure they reached out to him for comment.

I'm sure they knew this was going to be a referendum on him and I think that his strategy for combating it is to like get ahead of it whatever they say like I am going to put out a statement explaining myself and so he saw whatever was from the other night and immediately like got on the hornet he maybe even had a plan for what he wanted to do it's setting the record straight with a friend and someone who people might trust because they were also on set at these times and just sort of clear the air yeah no that's fair um I did think you know first of all what a tool I don't even what's his name the interviewer uh boogie like probably some of the biggest loser energy I've ever seen radiating from another human being.

But, you know, and Dan thinks he's subtle. You know, so many of the allegations were around how, you know, black actors and the, like the, there was like a lack of diversity. And the actors who were hired, who were, you know, diverse, who were black, were not given like any attention, any sort of opportunity. So him sitting there with a former castmate who's also black, like it was like, you're not being subtle, Dan.

Like what? Oh, no, never mind. Yeah, no, as if that nullifies what other people are saying. I feel like there are probably a lot of people who have worked with Dan Schneider who would say good things about him, who maybe had a positive experience working for him who were maybe stars of their show and it was in Dan's best interest to be nice to them like I don't think Dan treated everyone the same and that everyone's going to say the same things about him it's not surprising to me that he has people who would champion him and say nice things about him that there's people who say the opposite

yeah and it's also like I feel because these are all child actors, it's so, um, I feel like however each kid had a different experience is so dependent on their parents involvement. And like Jeanette McCurdy, you know, stating in her book, not very explicitly,

but referring to Dan as the creator and how he was super manipulative and like literally like a psychopath. Um, and she also, her book is called, I'm glad my mom died. Like no one was looking out for her. And then with, her book is called I'm Glad My Mom Died. Like no one was looking out for her. And then with Drake Bell and Amanda Bynes, like those are also two big stars of

this documentary. Amanda Bynes has a very sordid relationship with her parents. And especially at that time when she was bringing in a lot of money, it became a big issue. Drake Bell had wanted to become emancipated from his parents. So he really sort of like surveyed the kids who were either came from broken homes or had complicated relationships with their parents and sort of preyed on that because it leaves these young kids very vulnerable. Yeah. But I'm sure plenty of other kids whose parents were on set who didn't fall into this web. Right.

Say, oh, working with Dan launched my career. And right. Because then you think about like Ariana Grande. Yeah. And Josh. and like Liz Gillies these are all kids who have big careers and who I think would would state that they had fine experiences I'm sure you know being a child star comes with its own host of whatever but when it comes to this particular documentary would say that they had fine experiences and I think a lot of them would credit that to the fact that their parents were around like a hundred percent of the time yeah so it's very disturbing and I think it like I think a lot of people um like for me like the great tragedy is really emblematic in what happened to Amanda Bynes yeah and there's so much footage in this documentary

and I haven't watched a documentary but I've seen so many clips, you know, unaired moments, behind the scenes recordings that are so fucking weird and gross. And now, of course, when you go back and watch certain scenes that were either aired or not aired, with hindsight, like it's weird. But when you were a kid, you didn't think you weren't disgusting as a kid. Like you just thought it was like funny. Ha ha. Like, yeah, that's what Dan said, too. And he also

said cut those scenes out like take them out but the thing is the damage is done those actors already experienced it and they're forever changed because of it like what's cutting no one really is watching those old shows now no cutting it is not gonna help anyone he also said like in an effort to make things better for child actors going forward that there should be a licensed counselor on set whose job it is to evaluate each child and make sure that they really want to be on tv that they're not just doing it for their parents that they know what comes along with being a working child actor with being famous etc etc okay for sure but people like dan schneider should also uh like go the fuck, no, there are so many issues with that. First of all, like, of course, a kid who has a

penchant for acting and singing wants to be on TV and they're going to do and say anything to get that position. They have no idea what they're signing on to. If you tell them what they're signing on to, this is a child. They can't make like actual decisions, real serious decisions for themselves. Also, if their parents are pressuring them to do it, like you get this job and maybe your family needs the money and the kid's going to talk to the therapist. I don't want to do it. Like when you know your parents need to do it, it's just dishonest. Also, what are the odds that this counselor is an honest, good faith actor and not some other predator? It's giving, like that's an easy job for a predator to get. 1000%. Also, I feel like this is so crazy because there've been so

many documentaries that like get, you know, so viral and it really, you know, breaks open what was going on. Like Larry Nassar, for example, very rarely does the person then come out. I feel like when these documentaries are made, the person who is being exposed is either like in jail, dead, off the grid. It's so rare like that we hear from them that same day. It's felt so weird. It is weird. But the difference is, is from what I've seen, like what Dan Schneider is being accused of is not like illegal behavior.

He's not incriminating himself by apologizing for these things. Right, right. Which, you know, by being a mean boss, inappropriate, bad, inappropriate jokes, like nothing that he's apologizing for or things that like he could go to jail for anything like that with Larry Nassar and yeah and those sorts of people like no they can't come and say I'm sorry I did that like lock him up yeah but I also feel like and we have been for years um you know if you like keep up with media like you know Dan Schneider you know the name you know that like this was a very very long time coming um and I feel like the rumors about him

are worse than what allegations that have come out from this documentary there are other things too that we've all sort of heard that I guess they're not addressing in the documentary which is why he was able to then you know go on and refute those claims in an interview. Because if they were the real allegations, what we've all heard for many, many years, he could never, you know, speak on that because he would go to jail. Well, he certainly couldn't apologize. The only thing he could say is, I didn't do those things. Right.

That's all he could say. And that's not even, that's not the tone of this interview. He's not saying I did not do the things that they're saying in that documentary. He said, I did them. It was wrong. And I'm sorry.

Right. But there's more. Right. But cool. You're sorry. The damage is done. Sorry. No,

we don't give a fuck. Like for real. Yeah. Sorry that you're embarrassed today and then you're having a bad week. I don't give a shit. No, like not going to find me caring. It was an interesting strategy, though, because it definitely has you being like,

hmm, if he's being so candid and taking accountability, maybe he's not as guilty as you would think. No, I think it's like I think what his strategy was, but I'm seeing right through it is like, yeah, let me take accountability for all the things that like won't put me in prison that, you know, aren't the greatest things,

but they're not as bad as what I've really been accused of. Like, oh yeah, I yelled at some writers and I made weird jokes pale in comparison to what, you know, we've all heard for years. So taking accountability for those things makes him look like an honest

person, but we can't be fooled, you know, especially when just the rumors have been around about him for so long. Like, so long. Yeah. No. No, it's, but I guess in the same breath that people are talking about

Quiet on the Set now, they're also talking about this Dan Schneider interview as opposed to it just being about, like, these nasty things about Dan Schneider. He's just, like, really gross, and he needs to just go away go away like for real. He had gone away though yeah. Right so him he's not like a person who works is public facing all the time like he didn't even really need to respond. He's extremely wealthy he could have just continued like living his private life. Yeah he could just be like a freak who's obsessed with the attention and like can't let people talk about him without him coming out and clearing his name. For sure even though like people have been talking about him for so long he's never not mainstream no not mainstream but former castmates remember when

Jeanette McCurdy was on Vine she was making all those she was clearly having some sort of like episode and she was like making all these cryptic TikToks about Dan Schneider. Like there have been many, many moments over the years where we've talked about it. Never to the point you're right where it became like mainstream and viral content. But it's been spoken about for so many years and he really has just dip, dive, duck, dive and dodge, you know? Yeah. He's such a freak.

He's so disgusting looking. Like, hey. Yeah. you know yeah he's such a freak he's so disgusting looking like hey yeah so I haven't watched documentary but now I want to but I wanted to watch this before just so that we could speak on it so that people don't think we're covering up for Dan Schneider when I see those comments like that's a person who has never watched the Toast a day in their life because we've been talking about Dan Schneider since 2017. Jackie and I, when our show was owned by Verizon, we were like obviously talking about Dan Schneider like two girlies would. Like talking about how he's a freak and a pedophile.

And we literally got called in by Verizon like legal team. We had to sit through like a two hour compliance. They were like you guys can't say stuff like that. We're like what do you mean? It's true. We literally had to sit in like a two-hour presentation like about compliance and defamatory language. Like it was so boring, first of all.

And I was like, you're kidding me. You're kidding me. It was actually probably really helpful. I agree. Not for Dan Schneider. To go forward in doing what we do. It was a good lesson to learn. Just throw allegedly in front of anything you say

and you're totally safe. Yeah, that was really the lesson. But just to go to show you that we were called in in 2017 over this. So if you think we're part of the cover up, you haven't been paying attention. And I feel like you're not fans of this show. Like, I don't know how you stumbled on yesterday's YouTube episode, but go away. Jackie, literally, how many days can go by before I bring up Jeanette McCurdy's book? Like, what are you guys talking about?

No, literally, anything is I'm talking to them right now, but they're not listening because they don't watch this show. They just commented on yesterday's episode. No. And by the way, Jackie and I, like, we're pretty wishy-washy on certain things, right? You know, one day we hate this person. We're always changing our minds. I don't want to say wishy-washy.

We're open-minded. One thing I feel like we really don't move on from is like child stuff. Like, we're never going to be back on Balenciaga. Like, the kid stuff, like, we can't be bought, you know? Yeah. No, there's no turning a new leaf on kid stuff. I agree. Like I don't care how sorry you are.

Like for real. There is no absolution. Yeah. You've been absolved. You've been absolved. Absolution? Absolution. It've been absolved. Absolution? Absolution. It feels wrong, actually.

Absolution. Abstinence? No. Absolution. Formal release from guilt. Oh, yeah, there is none. Like, seriously. Once you meet your maker, you can work it out then.

Yeah. So that's what's new with Dan Schneider. He's got a turkey neck. Are you body shaming? I am. Yeah. Yeah. I really, really am.

Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Yeah. Beyonce says her new album, Act 2, Cowboy Carter, was born out of an experience where she did not feel welcome so Beyonce has announced her next album called act two cowboy Carter on social media she showed it has a picture of herself wearing a red white and blue outfit on a horse and holding up an American flag as we know this next album from Beyonce is going to be a country

album in the elk of her two songs that she's released called Texas Hold'em and 16 carriages she put out a statement yesterday with the announcement saying, thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the supporters of Texas Hold'em and 16 Carriages. I feel honored to be the first black woman with the number one single on the Hot Country Songs chart. That would not have happened without the outpouring of support from each and every one of you. My hope is that years from now, the mention of an artist's race as it relates to releasing genres of music will be irrelevant. She said, this album has been over five years in the making. It was born out of an experience that I had years ago where I did not feel welcomed.

And it was very clear that I wasn't. But because of that experience, I did a deeper dive into the history of country music and studied our rich musical archive. It feels good to see how music can unite so many people around the world while also amplifying the voices of some of the people who have dedicated so much of their lives educating on our musical history. The criticisms I faced when I first entered the genre forced me to propel past the limitations that were put on me. Act two was a result of challenging myself and taking my time to bend and blend genres together to create this body of work. I have a few surprises on the album

and have collaborated with some brilliant artists who I deeply respect. I hope that you can hear my heart and soul and all of the love and passion that I poured into every detail and every sound. Okay, so many thoughts. Well, people then figured out like what things she was talking about when she entered the genre and didn't feel welcome.

Unwelcoming experience. I remembered that too when she did that CMA performance. I thought it was fabulous. Like I loved it. I loved- She did a CMA performance with the Dixie Chicks. The Chicks. At the time, they were called the Dixie Chicks. Singing one of her songs. I don't remember any of this. Oh, I do. And I actually remember talking about it on the toast. And I wonder if she's talking about not feeling welcome

by like the fans or by like fellow country artists. The vibe I got was backstage unwelcoming because I think then I saw an old article that Beyonce talked about like not feeling welcome Or by like fellow country artists. The vibe I got was backstage unwelcoming. Because I think then I saw an old article that Beyonce talked about like not feeling welcome at the CMAs. And she felt like backstage everyone was like kind of giving them looks. Because the chicks are also sort of. They're like a lightning rod. Yeah. I feel like there's dynamics with it.

They might have enemies too in the CMAs. They're definitely like, you know, I don't know what the right word is, but yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, so again, then also maybe the fans and I think the reception to the performance, the performance has been scrubbed from the internet. You can't even watch it.

Wait, that's so crazy. I remember thinking like, thank God, like when somebody so cool as Beyonce like gives her sort of approval to the CMAs like we've been trying to get people onto country for so many years like Beyonce has that power I remember being like yeah the more the merrier and I do remember the fans being like lame about it yeah I feel like it must have been a bad reception because you can't even watch the video now because of course now I want to go see and be like oh what'd they do I didn't realize it was scrubbed yeah it's not loser energy does anyone have an old TiVo yeah not the TiVo we could watch it well then she's sort of teasing in this

caption you know working with people collabs and we have to sort of sit here and just guess. Chris Stapleton. Well, read again who she said she was collaborating with. Because it sounds like it might be mostly black artists. I have a few surprises on the album and have collaborated with some brilliant artists who I deeply respect. A few side sentences up. I did a deeper dive into the history of country music and studied our rich musical archive it feels good to see how music can unite so many people around the world while also amplifying the voices of some of the people who have dedicated so much of their lives educating on our musical

history oh okay maybe not maybe not that just felt like sort of the um genesis in the research for this project and like and also country music is really for everyone like yeah okay as far as collaborations oh I feel like she might be collaborating with some big country artists okay I would not mind uh Beyonce Darius Rucker collab like I feel like Darius Rucker has kind of put the like black country music fandom on his back for so many years. And I think Beyonce should reward him for his good work, you know? Yeah. I don't see it. I don't see it musically, like sonically.

I agree. They're very different. I do see Chris Stapleton. Because he collabs. He loves a collab. He collabs. He's DTC down to collab. But also I feel like sound wise, he's very soulful and very,

I don't know. Soulful is a good word. I also feel like as far as like the mixing of genres, like there's a crossover. Yeah. I think it would sound really beautiful. I feel like that could be. And then maybe some artists that we don't know as well yet.

I don't think it's going to be like, you know, you know who I feel like she's going to do. No. And Luke Bryan. Please. No. Do you know who I feel like she's going to do a collab with?

100%. Actually, I'm calling it right now. The Warren treaty. Remember I told you about that wife, husband duo. Yeah. Who I saw at the same age.

They're really, they just did a collab with Zach Bryan. I feel like they're really up and coming and they have they're amazing like vocally and I feel like Beyonce's gonna platform them and I think that'd be sick well also Maren Morris had commented on Beyonce's statement saying drag them queen because you know she's on the outs with country music so do you think no I don't think Beyonce's gonna work with her I think that's the antithesis Marion just left country and Beyonce's entering there are two ships passing in the night yeah you but you think it sounds like from this statement like Beyonce's like

coming into the world of country music like wants to be a part of it yes wants to like really sort of unite all different fandoms I think she's coming into it like peacemaker. Like with, you know, waving the white flag. Not coming in and being like, I'm mad about five years ago. I'm going to do your genre better than you. Oh. I didn't get that. That's not what I'm getting from this statement. No, no.

It's getting like really like music heals, music unites, and I'm going to be that force. Yeah. Agreed. That's what I had thought. That's what I had thought. That's what I had thought too. But then like Maren Morris, I feel like is feeling like drag them. I think Maren Morris read it differently

and I think Maren read it incorrectly. Unless she's like saying drag those who made you feel unwelcome. Well, yeah, yeah. But I felt that the overall sentiment of Beyonce's caption, and I actually really appreciate her giving. I feel like she doesn't really give us

like this much insight ever. Like she just releases her music and it actually really appreciate her giving I feel like she doesn't really give us like this much insight ever like she just releases her music and it speaks for itself but I feel like her she definitely left it in a very sort of positive uplifting tone yeah I agree I'm excited to hear the album no let me tell you I'm I'm on my way to Stanhood like seriously all aboard I cannot wait, it comes out kind of soon. Also, I love the name Cowboy Carter. Yeah. The artwork. Perfection. Gorgeous.

Obsessed with like that's so my aesthetic. Like I just I'm loving. Beyonce's doing country and she's doing it right. Yeah. So far, so good. I think it comes out in 10 days. Thank you. Like normal lead time.

We appreciate it. And you've given us normal lead time. And you've given us two songs. Thank you. Yeah. So that's very exciting. See you in 10 days. Next Friday. Countdown's on. Do you think she would do a Kacey Musgraves collab? Like I'm thinking of who's really hot right now in country music and not sort of mainstream. Like obviously Morgan Wall and Luke Holmes but I'm thinking like Kacey Musgraves, Zach Bryan. So I think that Kacey Musgraves like I see what you're saying, but I don't think that will make it onto the album. Because I also feel like, you know, Casey's very, um, like progressive within the community

of country, but still remains country. No, I hear what you're saying. It's a good call, but I don't think it will be. Okay. But it's a good call. I'm so curious. Drop a comment. Who do you think Beyonce's going to collab with? Or should collab with? I feel like we made some good calls.

I mean, should. Should we could be here all day? Will? Should Luke Combs. Will? It's Chris Stapleton. But she should. Chris.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to say really Chris Stapleton. Yeah. Okay yeah yeah I'm just saying really Chris Stapleton yeah okay ready for our next story what number three yeah Kate Middleton's medical records have been part of the hospital security breach the hospital where Kate Middleton underwent abdominal surgery in January is reportedly experiencing a security breach involving the Princess of Wales' medical records. An investigation is underway at the London Clinic over claims that at least one staffer attempted to access her files, the Daily Mail reported. Quote, this is a major security breach and incredibly damaging for the hospital

given its unblemished reputation for treating members of the royal family. No, and this is truly why we can't have nice things. Like, this people got too insane and it was all fun until it wasn't this is so disgusting and like this is what I was saying yesterday the party's over the buck stops here and people can't let it go they you know they can't just like let something be bygones be bygones and let like a good thing have happened they have to ruin it and that's what happened so good job congratulations you yourself. This is absolutely insane, but also makes me feel like ultimately the version of the story that we're getting is a version of the truth because the staffer access her medical records. If there was something wild

in there, I feel like they would have made it public. Otherwise, what were they doing? And I want to say, like, I feel as though a lot of things, nothing in this world is sacred, like nothing really. But I feel like the oath of the HIPAA oath for the most part, like people really, really take seriously and they respect it. And you don't hear a lot about like, and the celebrities, you know, are human beings. So they have all sorts of health issues, pregnancies, things like that. And people in the medical field, I'm sure, you know, who live in, you know, work at Cedars-Sinai, I know plenty. And I feel like it's kind of this oath that's really sort of respected. And I love that.

And so when I hear situations like this, remember Scott Disick, when he was in that rehab Zoom thing, HIPAA violation, one of the, for the most part, people really respect it. Both people who work in the medical field, but also people in the waiting rooms, you know, fellow patients, people really respect it. Though they haven't taken the oath, but yeah but yeah no but that's what I'm saying like even regular people I forget um who I was having this conversation with but you know like celebrities have to go to the OBGYN and you know when they're pregnant they're hiding a pregnancy but for the even if they see someone for the most part there is this sort of unwritten thing you see celebrity in the doctor's room like

you you're not gonna really share that um so when something like this happens it's always really disappointing yeah no this is insane i hope that staffer is found and fired no no and like you know walked through the streets shame yeah because what are you doing it first you could sell it to tmz like you're disgusting yeah which makes me feel like there was nothing to sell just if we're gonna get back to the sure sure we're gonna conspiracy yeah get back to the conspiracy like they didn't find what they were looking for or she wasn't able to access it because it's you know like you said they have an unblemished record they're obviously very secure and some you know low-life nurse can't get access to everyone's files. Yeah, attempted to access. Right. Okay.

It's giving low life nurse. It is. I kind of love the term low life. It's so insulting. And I don't really use it a lot. Because if you do, it becomes... That's why it's insulting. Because it's not overused.

Yeah, but like being called... If somebody ever called me a low life like i just i i'd seriously i would just end it like that's all it's horrible yeah but don't do something that warrants being called a low life nurse you don't think it was a doctor administrator it's got to be a nurse i'm sorry did i assume you read it one staffer okay I'm sorry did I assume? You read it. One staffer. Okay I'm sorry for assuming but it was 1,000% a nurse. No? Yeah. Oh my god I totally assumed and I made an ass out of you and me. I'm so sorry but it was. But you stand by the assumption. Yeah. And I, let's not get into it, Ashley, Jessica, RN.

I respect and adore nurses. They are, you know, our society's lifeblood, our brave. I respect, but it was definitely one of them. I respect RNs, real nurses. I think an honest nurse would agree with me. Yeah. But this wasn't an honest nurse. It was a low- honest nurse. Real nurses. I think an honest nurse would agree with me. Yeah. But this wasn't an honest nurse. It was a low life nurse. Okay.

Ready for our next story? No, because I forgot to tell you how cute you look today. Oh my gosh. Thank you. I got this favorite daughter sweatshirt. From Fashion Pass. So did I. From Fashion Pass.

One of our sponsors. It's definitely. I would never wear it in front of you because it's like beyond rude but i see you obviously had no qualms about wearing that in front of me no because i like it and it's cute i like the color of it because i feel like it's a nice color to wear on the show brings i feel like it's one of my colors yeah i need to start wearing more of my colors i wore my color last night and everybody said it looked so gorgeous like everyone's color like about it. What color? Like it was like a a wintry blue. That's everyone's color. No offense. It's such a gorgeous color. It's true. I feel like

yeah you know what yeah it's more so like is this an ugly color? Yeah. Is this a flattering color for the human face? Right. That's a beautiful color for anyone anyone honestly I've not seen someone look bad in it yeah yeah um before we dive in and I'm actually not ready because I want to tell you that the last two stories are brought to you by hero bread a brand that Ben's offer is so obsessed with he actually reached out to him because he wanted to invest he was like I feel so strongly about this company we have hero bread in our house all the time because you know Ben and I are on our health journeys and if you're afraid of carbs, we get it. Carb-heavy foods are often the ones that we love the most. And Hero Bread is out here making the same delicious favorites, but they are free of

consequences or compromises. They have remade carby, empty-calorie bread products into fluffy, delicious versions that include no net carbs, zero grams of sugar, and fewer calories plus protein and fiber. So we have tons of Hero Bread products. We have bread like for sandwiches. We have tortillas. They really taste very good, but they are so much better for you. And this is something I used to like roll my eyes out because they really, like all these companies, I'm sorry, like most of them taste like crap. Hero Bread is the real deal. It's zero to one grams of net carbs, zero sugar, and they're high in fiber.

They're delicious and flavorful. so they're soft and fluffy. And you will really like feel a refreshing experience when you bite into a Hero Bread sandwich. There's something for every craving. So they have sliced bread loaves, buns. We've had those on our hamburgers. Very good. And the tortillas where I like to make my sort of tortilla pizza.

I don't know if you guys know I like that a lot. Excellent. So don't give up bread and don't give up being a breadhead. Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order when you go to hero.co and use code TOAST at checkout. That's TOAST, T-O-A-S-T, at hero.co, H-E-R-O dot C-O. Today's episode is also brought to you by ASPCA Pet Health Insurance. Your pet is one of a kind.

I feel like this is a very appropriate sponsor for me because with my, you know, first love, Theo, we actually did not have pet insurance. Your pet is one of a kind. I feel like this is a very appropriate sponsor for me because with my, you know, first love Theo, we actually did not have pet insurance. I thought that was like, like one of the dumbest things I've ever done. And look how it paid off. Like I ended up with crazy bills. Um, before I even got Romeo, uh, the first thing I did was get pet health insurance. And it's really important that you do that because your pet is one of a kind. And so is their journey. Every playful moment is a memory in the making, but sometimes our cats and dogs are a little too good at getting into trouble. And that's why you should really check out ASPCA Pet Health Insurance. Explore their coverage. Their program offers customizable accident and illness plans, making it easier for pet parents like you to help your pet get the health care that they need. The ASPCA Pet Health

Insurance program has been around for over 18 years. They've helped more than 600,000 pets during that time. They allow you to customize your plan, help ensure that your pet's plan is as unique as they are, because vet bills can really add up, especially when you're least expecting it. It's simple. Use their app to submit a claim, and you'll receive reimbursement for eligible vet bills directly into your bank account. So explore their coverage via visit aspcapetinsurance.com slash toast. That's aspcapetinsurance.com slash toast aspcapetinsurance.com slash toast. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ insurance agency limited.

The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Check out ASPCA pet insurance.com slash toast. Thank you. You're welcome. Our next story, tired Kyle Richards is reacting to her niece, Paris Hilton bashing Mauricio Umansky. Yes.

So we spoke last week about what Paris Hilton said about the clip from Buying Beverly Hills and now Kyle's on Amazon Live talking about what Paris said. She said, I'm just kind of tired of hearing about everything

over and over again. She said that she thought, she was like, for me it was like, oh, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion is done. Thank God I can exhale and relax a little bit.

And then I was like, oh, not too soon, Kyle. There's more stuff coming. She said, my family's all in the public eye. And it's weird to think that I'm on television. My niece is on television. My sister's on television on her show. And she's been on my show.

My family's on television. My daughter's. It's a lot. Yeah, I mean, it is a lot to keep apart. Like Paris has her own show. Real Housewives. Kathy's on Real Housewives and Paris in Love. Then Mauricio is on Binding Beverly Hills

and Kyle's daughters are on that show too. And it's like everyone has to keep track of what everyone's saying all the time and you have to keep talking about what everyone's saying. And she's so right. Like with the Richards sisters, like they've been fighting since season one and they have really been fighting

about the same sort of kind of Roman Empire moments in their family. Like they keep rehashing the same five things. You know, you stole my goddamn house. Rick and Mauricio, like the same couple of things and I feel like that's so classic family beef yeah well I just watched part three of Beverly Hills Kathy came out and what they said was it's like it feels like Kathy and Kyle are always fighting but they both without you know looking at each other were able to say the exact amount of fights that they've had in their life right it's three it's three topics as well no and it's also like three

blow-up fights that are kind of the reason for all of the other ancillary bouts of not speaking but they've only had three fights in their life which is pretty good for sisters no and I feel like it's really actually relatable to um family arguments oh my god she got her zofran you guys are you feeling okay no I I was feeling queasy I asked Zach to just go into my medicine pouch I thought maybe I might have one because it's good to have one of everything in a medicine pouch if I could give it looks like you have three I had three well this is gonna change the recovery oh I mean zofran is fast acting it's literally, I'm wishing you a speedy recovery. Oh, I mean, Zofran is fast acting. It's literally magic.

I'm obsessed with it. Maybe we could get a Zofran sponsorship. I mean, I've been waiting for an Ozempic sponsorship. So those farmers. Don't we have the sponsor who like does like the tell-all? We do, but I meant like with the real company, like Ozemp, with Novo Nordisk. Free product.

Right, for life. You need to be like what Khloe does for that migraine company. Okay, let's talk about that migraine company, Nurtek OTD. Their commercials with Khloe and Lady Gaga are so insane. How much money do you think Nurtek OTD

spent on those two celebrities? A good amount. Like if Travis Kelsey got paid $20 million for Pfizer. Mm-hmm. And $10 million maybe. That's a lot. Oh, I was going to say less. A national commercial.

I would say when he signed that Pfizer deal, he was less famous than Khloe Kardashian and Lady Gaga. That's true. But that commercial plays more. Really? NerdTech OTT is fucking everywhere. Damn. Lady Gaga on the piano true but that commercial plays more. Really? NerdTechOTD is fucking everywhere. Damn. Lady Gaga on the piano. Oh and they got true in there and they got true in there. Oh I think about NerdTechOTD money constantly. So interesting and I'm sure I hope she actually uses it like I

wonder if it's actually good for her migraines. I know. Chloe's spoken for years about migraines. If anyone wants to put me in a rise a triptan commercial, I'll talk all day. Yeah, here are the drugs that I would like put my weight behind in terms of their efficacy. Ozempic, of course. I'm literally the poster child for it. Zofran, Obsess, goes in tandem with the Ozempic. Advil. When I tell you, oh, I fucking love Advil, there is not a problem in my life Advil hasn't solved

I feel like that's really it like those three like I love a tum too they really work but Xanax not prescribed but yeah I like it yeah of course of course of course opioids okay no I haven't taken a Xanax in so long me neither like I don't really like to do drugs so so long me neither like i don't really like do drugs so no not since before any pregnancy yeah before mother now like what am i doing on that like barred out no you couldn't be like zonked out like no unless like you had a real prescription for it which you literally don't no um how did we get to no tech oh you were taking your girlfriend my so friend but we're talking about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills anyways what's good to know is that Kim and Kathy are on good terms right now I feel like they have been for a while like I think once

Kathy came on the show it became kind of clear that like Kyle and her you know history of being on the show and talking about the family stuff was really sort of like a polarizing thing and a huge reason why the sisters could really never get on the same page for very long yeah but then they had the falling out from last season about the Aspen night yep and now they've worked past that and now they are good again and Kathy's really like just was supporting her and standing by her when she was talking about all the stuff with Mauricio and she really just needed a sister and and Kathy was being a good sister no I love Kathy yeah no it was it was really nice to have her back it's funny she wasn't on the season for one minute and she's at their union because that's queen behavior like when no matter how like quote-unquote irrelevant you

are to the storyline like you're the most interesting part yeah it's true so yeah everyone in the richards hilton umansky family on their reality shows it's like kind of funny it is like you can't keep track of what everyone's saying i guess that's like us with our podcasts totally you know and then you hear like ben said something on his and you have to respond to it and like and then I will something on redheads and I will respond Margo's always saying crazy stuff on redheads is she kind of like now it's where she goes to make her announcements I know that's like really huge for your brand. I know. I'm very excited about it and I plan to exploit it. As you should.

Like she told Redheads exclusive that she was moving. If you guys didn't even know that you should listen to the new episode of Redheads. Exactly. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Yeah. It's not a goodbye.

It's a see you later. And we still have dear toasters. It's actually the perfect fifth story because Travis Kelsey is in talks to host Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader reboot. Obsessed. Travis Kelsey is capitalizing on his newfound fame. The Kansas City Chiefs star is reportedly in talks

to host a reboot of the Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader, which would stream via Amazon Prime Video. Two insiders told Variety on Tuesday that the game show would feature celebrity guests rather than children. Despite his interest in the program, producers are hesitant to extend an offer over questions of his availability. Rather than the children? How do you have, are you smarter than a fifth grader without the fifth graders? Rather than children? I don't know. Like you need both. You need, I mean, you don't know like you need both you need I mean you don't really need the fifth graders because you're answering what they learn in level right yeah but that the kids were so funny and

snarky I although I do love you know putting less children after we were just talking about quiet on set like getting children out off of those sets I do like that but when it comes to the show like those kids were hilarious that was the whole point yeah and that Travis like interacting with little fifth graders like that's the magic no yeah it's a really cute idea and I'm sure he's trying to branch out I think there's a very intentional team behind him as he like makes enters a new chapter of his career he's still playing football but one day he won't be and just like he did SNL and he does his podcast and now there might be other hosting opportunities for him we know he's a TV star he did Catching Kelsey great show and this show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader is like a beloved huge American classic so and that's so him I think it's actually

really brilliant I just don't know the creative of the show if I agree with it. Without kids, you mean? Yeah. Like it was so like very young Sheldon energy. Yeah. I think it could work without kids. They should really have that kid host the show. Young Sheldon.

Even though he's old Sheldon now. Teeny Sheldon. I'll just really never be okay with like, you know, specifically young boys like going through puberty on television. It's really, it's just never, it's really uncomfortable for everyone. Brad? We know. It's one of my least favorite things.

Imagine how they feel. No, I know. And I imagine like they, you know, years from now will be like, why the fuck were my like most horrible, awkward years broadcast for all of America to see? And then they'll look at their bank account and they'll say, OK, that's why. That's fine. Yeah, I'll allow it. So true.

OK, so those are the fast five stories. And we're going to get into Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment where you can write in to us. Either head over to the toast podcast dot com. There's a little submission box there, totally anonymously. Or email us, deartoasters at gmail.com. What are you going through? Do you need advice from your two favorite squirrel friends? We'll help you. And today we've got a note from a sober mother. Hi, swirlies. I'm a sober mother of two. I recently started making some mom friends at my son's preschool. Nobody knows that I'm sober and on play dates when somebody has offered me a cocktail I've always

tried to defer while not disclosing my situation. I am not ashamed of my sobriety. I'm actually very proud. It will be 12 years in May but I also just met these women and I'm not sure how much I want to tell them. I got invited to a mom's night out next week and I just should I just sorry I got invited to a mom's night out next week. Should I just tell them when they offer me a drink? Or should I just keep making excuses? Whatever you're comfortable with. I feel like there's so many fake excuses that you could come up with. I also feel like most of the times when I'm hanging out with moms, we actually don't drink.

Like someone's always pregnant. Someone's always breastfeeding. Like some, I don't drink. Like I feel like it's okay to say no, especially when you have such young children, like they're in preschool. It's not like everyone's getting lit up. Like you got to be up early the next morning, right? Changing diapers. Like, I don't know. I don't think you should worry so much about it. And you can be honest if you feel like you want to open up to these people. And if you just don't feel like having that conversation, there are so many

reasons why you could be like, Oh, like the truth for me up to these people. And if you just don't feel like having that conversation, there are so many reasons why you could be like, Oh, like the truth for me, I get such bad hangovers. I can't be a hungover mom. No, but also I feel like you can and should be honest, but you also don't need to say like,

I'm in recovery. You just say, I don't drink. Like plenty of people don't drink. Plenty of people don't drink. You don't do. And then once you know these people, you can tell them your story and how you're at 12 years,

but just say, no, I don't drink. Like Margaret Joseph's doesn't drink. You know, it's like people don't drink. Yeah. So just, I would say no, I don't drink. Like, Margaret Josephs doesn't drink. You know, it's like, people don't drink. Yeah. So just, I would say, like, I don't drink.

Yeah, and I just, I don't think that, like, drinking is germane to, like, motherhood friendships and, like, friendships for, like, new moms or young moms. Like, it's not a huge part of the equation. You know, if you were going on spring break and you weren't, like, that's something else. But I feel like it's not even a major factor. I also think, and correct me if I'm wrong because I'm literally not a mom but I feel like having mom friends is really germane to survival of you know motherhood like having people to commiserate

with and and I don't know I would tell them this part of you share share that with you with that you know it could lead to like real connection yeah I don't see why why not to share but everyone's different so if there's a real reason why you don't want to share, there's other things you can do. But I think sharing would be nice. I think sharing would be nice too. Okay. Dear Jackie and Claudia, recently I went on my final spring break trip of college

with my five closest girlfriends. We stayed at my friend's dad's private resort where we were literally the only people there besides a security guard and a house manager. After the house manager left for the day and the guard wasn't there, we went skinny dipping in the pool. We laughed and giggled the whole time.

It was so dark you really couldn't see anything on anyone. However, when I told my boyfriend about it, he seemed upset with me. I told him it was about the act of feeling free and comfortable with my five closest girlfriends, but he still seemed annoyed. Did I violate the respect between us? Should I have opted out of the skinny dipping? No, your boyfriend's a fucking loser. Like, grow up.

Yeah. Unless you guys are like hella religious or something and it violates sort of like your code of conduct for each other. But if you're not, like literally who cares if he's what, jealous? You're not a lesbian. No, I don't think he's, I don't know. I can't under skip into his frame of mind. I think he's overreacting.

Don't feel bad about it. You did nothing wrong. You literally did nothing wrong. But like, how do you resolve this? I think is the question. What are you going to pander and apologize? No, because I feel like that sets a bad precedent. Just because you have a feeling doesn't mean I need to apologize.

Your feeling is wrong. Yeah. You could say like, I'm sorry that we weren't on the same page about something like that. Oh, I like that I love I love that I love a skirt around apology where you say I'm sorry but like you're not really taking responsibility no I'm not sorry for the thing you want me to be sorry for like but I'm sorry that that was not something that I understood that you would be upset about and next time I just won't fucking tell you narc that's I think a real lesson here as well like not everybody needs to know everything

even person you're like closest to in this world you know yeah like it's a real like nothing about what you did affects him whatsoever no and when something special girlhood memory like leave it alone yeah loser he's giving loser don't tell him next time you know that's the lesson here like you know he can't handle certain information, so he shouldn't get the security clearance, much like Oppenheimer. He doesn't have the clearance. And neither did Oppenheimer, because you want to know why? He was a snitch.

Well, he was a communist, but same thing. Snitch. No, like, he was really smart, but he was, like, low-key communist energy. So they weren't going to give him the highest level of security clearance because, like, you know, do the work, but we're not going to give you that sort of level. Yeah. It made sense at the time.

Okay, our third and final we have from one of our Gen Z toasters. And I love when one of our Gen Z toasters write in. Hey, Jackson Turd. I'm a high school senior and I need a prom date. I have a little over two months and I have no prospects. Please help. Advice needed. Thanks. A swirly looking for a prom date. I have a little over two months and I have no prospects. Please help. Advice needed. Thanks.

A swirly looking for a prom date. Prom is so hard. Prom is so hard because either like you have a boyfriend, which like nobody does, by the way, like normalize not having a boyfriend in high school, or you like go with a friend. And it's like, that's not fun. You just want like your crush to ask you out. And that never happens. Yeah.

I don't really know. What I'll say is, which it doesn't, it's not going to feel this way right now, but ultimately it doesn't matter. You know what I mean? So true. Don't put too many eggs in this basket. Like you will never remember who you went to prom with. Even if your crush.

Unless you ended up marrying him, which would never happen either. Even if your crush asks you or you go with a friend or someone you're not that excited about like it doesn't matter your life is going to start when after prom like no but also a prom date is just like a means to an end like you just need to go because that's like the societal standard like you go with a date whatever find some someone to go with and then like once you get there like you just hang out with your friends you literally don't even hang out with your date you know know? Yeah. I would just, like, choose someone at random. And know that it's really not that serious. It has no bearing on your romantic future.

It's just simply a means to an end. Like, you need to do the pictures. You don't want to, like, you know, you can go without a date. But then, like, in the pictures, you're sort of like that. Yeah, you need some arm candy. Yeah. And I don't believe in, like, not having a date because, like, women empowerment. Like, you need a date, okay?

Yeah, it's still a prom. Yeah, you need a date for the photos. And if you had told me this i would i would say shut up i know it means more than anything it does mean more than anything in that moment and i understand that i'm just letting you know like zoomed out it doesn't mean what you think it means but i understand in this moment like it means everything i would just look around the cafeteria look see what you're looking for, get someone at random, and I'm going to make you my prom date. And I wouldn't, like, you know, obviously we watch so many movies,

you want to go with the coolest guy. The girls who go with the coolest guys and never have any fun, the coolest guys are, like, dumb and moronic and can't hold a conversation. I would seriously go with, like, you know, the nerd who takes off his glasses and everybody realizes he's handsome. One, that's, like, the type of guy you guy you actually have like the most potential to actually marry. And those guys like always end up making a lot of money. You know, the jocks like always end up, you know, with no sort of career prospects.

The nerds, they start companies, you know, they get patents that, you know, generate a billion dollars in revenue. Like I would go for the nerdy guy. You honestly probably would A a have the best time and be the most potential yeah I like it and he's he's just as worried as you are that no one's gonna ask him you know oh true so just strike up a conversation and just like drop the hit like guys like that need to be pushed a little bit so you know if you wait around for him to ask like he might not just go over and be like do you have a date for prom and then he'll be like no and then

you say me neither and then he'll be like oh I should ask this girl you know yeah love that for you yeah that's exciting and prom is so exciting and this is what I always say to our Gen Z swirlies who write in like you're a high school senior oh my god and what month is it oh my god it's like the second half second semester you know you don't have any work to do you know where you're going to college this is the most fabulous time of your life. They write, you know, epic novels about, and movies about this time of your life. Enjoy it. Don't be bogged down by insecurities. Oh, who am I going to go prom with?

Nobody fucking cares. Like, eventually, like, people forget about it literally the next day. So just enjoy this time in your life. Like, you're obviously a toaster, so you have an amazing head on your shoulders. You probably already know this. But just, like, enjoy. Live in the moment. Get off your phone, you know? I'm so but just like, enjoy. Live in the moment. Get off your phone,

you know? I'm so happy for you. Enjoy. Yeah. I love that. I love you. Oh, love you too.

I have, you know, got to start my day, you know? Busy, busy. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast,

the Monday Night Morning Show where we tell the fast-track stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. If you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give us a video thumbs up. We're also available on Spotify,

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