The Toast - Likeability Is A Prison: Wednesday, May 3rd, 2023

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

Kevin Costner’s Wife, Christine, Files For Divorce After 18 Years of Marriage (Page Six) (17:58) ‘Yellowstone’ Fans are Reeling After Stars Confirm Real-Life Romance with “Epic” Photo (Country Living) (24:44) James Corden Explains Why He Thinks It’s Time TO Bid Goodbye to ‘The Late Late Show’ and Move On (Up Worthy) (31:42) Ariana Madix Tells Tom Scandoval ‘I Regret Ever Loving You’ In Volcanic Confrontation From ‘VPR’ Finale Teaser (People) (45:44) Concertgoer Reportedly Has ‘Loud and Full Body Orgasm’ During LA Philharmonic Performance (People) (54:27) Dear Toasters (1:00:03) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry  (@girlwithnojob)  Merch The Toast Patreon Girl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials, and welcome back to the Toast. Happy Wednesday. It is hump day. Don't forget to hump someone you love, and I'm sitting next to someone I love, so she better watch her fucking back. Damn. Well, we're twins today, so it would be like you humping thyself. Which is something I've definitely always wanted to explore.

Today could be the day. I didn't realize we were both matching. It's giving Carl. We are inspired. We didn't even know. Like, we talk mad crap about the Me It's giving Carl. We are inspired. We don't even know. Like we talk mad crap about the Met Gala. Meanwhile we're just like. Both sitting here in outfits that were selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of stuff. Literally. We are literally Annie. I just don't feel like. I don't feel like that's why I'm wearing this today

but the facts speak for themselves. So the subconsciousness is real Jax yeah so we have deer toasters today and I'm so excited I feel like I haven't done deer toasters in forever yeah no it's been a minute yeah and I think people need my advice people are really struggling without a hundred percent without my two cents we had Sophia last week and then I think the week before that we had snitch. But I was here on a Wednesday. I think it was me. I think I did do it two weeks ago. Well you know what I need to write into your toasters because I have like actually need to write into Unburden Yourselves because quite possibly the most embarrassing thing happened to me at Stagecoach that I forgot to tell everyone yesterday and like I just need someone to make me feel better about it. Well you're talking to

the wrong girl. I know I know. You're gonna embarrassed of me. Okay. I'll keep an open mind. Let me tell you how like everyone at Stagecoach looked like Taylor Sheridan, the creator of Yellowstone, who also plays Travis, right? The horse rancher. Yeah. And I thought I saw him like a few times and then I actually did see him and I knew he was going to be there. Like Yellowstone had like a big tent at Stagecoach. Luke Grimes, who plays Casey who plays Casey performed he's a singer so I just had a feeling I was going to get to meet Taylor Sheridan like I was just excited and then I actually did see him like backstage in like the artist compound it wasn't like it's very like low-key you know and I was like oh my god Taylor Sheridan I was like so excited I like walked up to him he had like a big group of people

with him when I tell you I got fucking body checked by this bodyguard, he was like, ma'am, no. And I was like, I was like, oh, I was, I was like, oh, okay. And I was so embarrassed. He like literally shoved me and to make matters worse, one of the girls with him

who I think worked for Paramount Plus like was a toaster. So she was like, turn it loose. And I was like, hey, like, can you tell them I'm like not a freak trying to storm the Bastille? Like, can I just get like a pic with Taylor? And she was like, yeah, no, I'll work on I'm like not a freak trying to storm the Bastille? Like, can I just get like a pic with Taylor? And she was like, yeah, no, I'll work on it. And then I never saw her again.

And Taylor walked away. He didn't even look me in the eyes when he like literally fully ignored me. And I was like, Taylor Jordan. And the bodyguard like literally like fully chest bumped me. And I just like stood there like a fucking loser being like, oh, OK, bye. That's not that bad. That's really not that bad. No, no.

Like it happens every day to people. To have been there like it was humiliating. I'm sure, like, you felt humiliated because, like, you're kind of a big star. No, I just wanted to meet Taylor Sheridan. Like, it wasn't even. I think it hurt your ego. It wasn't a star to star thing. I think it was an ego thing.

It wasn't a star. It wasn't an S to S, you know? Yeah. It was just, like, chill. Like, come on. You don't like that. There are more famous people here. Yeah. It was just like chill. Like come on. You don't like that. There are more famous people here. Yeah.

Maybe not. Since that was the only one that you. You couldn't have been the only person feeling that way. You know who else I saw? And this means nothing to you. But it'll mean something to the toasters. Carrie Dubek. I don't know what his real name is.

But remember I was telling you about that HBO show. That I think you would like. The other two. With the two kids. He plays like the older gay son. Who like can't get arrested in Hollywood. He just like wants to be a star. And he was there.

He was actually there with Lucy Hale the whole time. I saw him. I actually saw him two separate days. Did you say hi? No. You just admire from afar? I admired from afar. I like did want to say hi to Lucy Hale because like her and I actually follow each other

on Instagram. But I was like really drunk and she had just like spoken about being sober and I didn't want to be like sloppy McGee on her. Great call. Yeah. It was actually an acutely self-aware moment for me. And you're nothing if not self-aware. Nothing if not.

So I did like have regrets that I didn't get to see Lucy Hale. But I thought it would be best for like both of our mental healths if I just stayed away. Yeah. For the relationship. Yeah. Stay intact. Yeah. Yeah.

So there's always next year. As opposed to an unfollow. Right. Right. Right. But she, fun fact, was with Carrie Dubeck. I wonder how they know each other. Industry, you know.

You know how it is. Industry is going to industrialize. Yeah. yeah all right so it's not that bad no not at all I had a pit the whole day like why just like the way this bodyguard like like I was a fugitive like no but that's like the part of the experience of being a fan like sometimes it exceeds your expectations and like you get a picture and the person's so nice and other times like you get blocked out by a bodyguard it was just hurtful like honestly I just feel like that really has never happened to you and if not it has it's been a really long time and like you're backstage in the artist section and you didn't think it was gonna happen like there like that it actually happened um at the SNL after party that me and Margo went to for Luke Holmes like the bodyguard was like no and then

Luke was like let him in you know Luke really came to our um our rescues really kind of sweet and and chivalrous um and it was like had potential to be embarrassing I was like excuse me like we're friends of Luke yeah I know that guy was just doing his job so no hard feelings sir but I ever heard of Yosemite yeah it's like ever heard of the toast yeah skedaddle sir but Taylor Sheridan's um bodyguard could not be swayed by the power of the toast I believe that and you know what we have our limitations I think that's always good to propel us yeah and to inspire us and encourage us to work harder we actually have a lot of Yellowstone news today I know I was just gonna ask you if we do maybe this will be the episode that somehow gets on his radar I don't know it just it was it was hurtful you didn't want

to like make a tiktok being like i met an a-list producer creator of a show about a ranch rude and his bodyguard assaulted me you didn't want to do that and go viral maybe now i do no it's too late no i know because i already named you i already said who it was And you told the whole story Yeah Next time So that's something That happened to me That's just been kind of

Like weighing heavy on my heart Let it go Like you didn't do anything wrong No I was being sweet You shot your shot Yeah And you missed And that happened

Yeah no I wouldn't say I missed I would say it was Honestly Taylor Sheridan's loss Like I'm a delight to talk to Yeah but sometimes You go up to a celebrity And like they're just

Not in the mood Or you can't access them Like it is what it is Has it happened to you? I don a delight to talk to. Yeah. But sometimes you go up to a celebrity and like they're just not in the mood or you can't access them. Like it is what it is. Has it happened to you? I don't like going up to people. I know. Even if I saw literally Kelly Clarkson, I had no desire to go up to her.

Yes, you would. No, you would make me. Yeah, of course. But if I was just me, I would not. Like by yourself. Yeah. No, it was kind of like a crazy rogue. I guess maybe I did look like a little bit of a threat.

Like I was like kind of drunk and I was like running around. It's all about perspective. If I was a bodyguard, I think I would have checked me too. Yeah. Okay. That was very self-aware of me. Very good. Thank you. So we've got a great show. We've got Dear Toasters. We've got, like you said, some Yellowstone news, some good stories. But before we dive in, Jax, what's new with you? Not too much. Not too much. We're recording the Redheads today, which I'm really excited about. We read The Magnolia Palace. It's about a girl named La Nolia.

And she lives in New York City with her mother, Margo. Oh, I was like, what? No, I'm kidding. It's actually not about a girl named Magnolia. It's about the Frick family and the Frick collection. Frick I think I don't give a Frick I don't think actually I was talking to Snitch last night I actually don't think Magnolia Palace was like the right title they were kind of like shoehorning the Magnolia thing in yeah it should have been called oh Frick love that or freaking awesome. Yeah.

I don't know the context of what the book is about. It's historical fiction. It was really good. I'm really excited to record with the girlies. Freaking history. Next month is my choice. I was literally researching books last night until my eyes hurted. It's so much pressure, actually.

In my real life book club, my turn is coming up. Am I diminishing? No, no. Yours is digital. I don't know. It just felt shady. Really? At least you make money from your book club. I is coming up is it diminishing no no yours is digital I don't know it just felt shady really at least you make money from your book club like I don't

it's true how about okay mine okay yours is a revenue producing book club you're pro bono

book club literally well Redheads has been pro bono for many a year right you had to build you know the audience

and the community before you could really start to monetize yeah well my turn is coming up in like a month or two and when I tell you the pressure is real because when you choose a book for a book club you're not choosing like whatever your next read would be yeah it's like there's so many different facets it's like how is this book going to make me look to other people what are people going to think of me with this book what does our book club need where are the gaps in what we've been reading?

So true. So true. So I feel like I found a book that will be really fun to read. The reviews are saying it's giving Evelyn Hugo. Oh. And I feel good about it because I like it. And that's all you needed to say. Yeah.

What are you going to choose? Where are you headed? So I've been pretty much set on doing The Soulmate by Sally Hepworth, but I know you're about to read it. So it would be helpful if you could like vet it for me. When do you need to know by? I think there's someone else next and then me. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's what I'm reading next. But I wasn't going to choose that for the Redheads because I feel like we've been reading a lot of thrillers recently. We haven't. And actually like we can't get arrested in our book club. Like every book is worse than the next. Everyone I think is like trying too hard, you know? Yeah.

The last book was just, but it was such a fun book club because we were just, like, roasting this book. It was so bad that it actually made, like, some other books look good, you know? That can happen. So we're in a rut. And I do believe the book that we chose this month that Margot Oshry has been raving about, The Things We Left Unfinished or something. The Things That Were Left Unfinished. Yeah, right. The Things That Were Unfinished When We Started Them. In things we left unfinished or something the things in left that were left they were unfinished when we in which we left them

my friend margo fish chose it because margo ashley raved so hard about it she raved so hard about it so i mean if margo ashley lets margo fish down margo fish will never forget it so hopefully that'll be good and bring us out of our rut right but i do understand how when it's your turn next you do need to do something new. Like definitely not historical fiction. Thriller is always good. And that's Sally Hepburn. She always writes a good thriller.

And I would love to introduce my girl Sally to my book club. Yeah. Because then they can do Younger Wife, Mother-in-Law, Good Sister. Exactly. Like she has so many good books. And then her, you know what? Never mind. I'm not going to finish that sentence.

I'll let everyone. Secret Project. Yeah. It project kind of like a like a like a secret project yeah um and then speaking of books I'm sure this isn't a story but I only saw this last night there was some more casting news in the end it in it ends with us yes movie casting and I don't know why it didn't get as much hype and you and I didn't even get to talk about there were two bits of casting news we reported it when Margot was on the toast, and I was so excited. That guy from 1923. Yes. Did you watch 1923? No.

Okay, well, all you need to know is, like, he's the hottest man alive. Yeah, and he's playing... Atlas. Atlas, who's the... P-Jom. Boy back home? Yeah.

Okay, cool. So I thought that was a great casting, and then they just announced that Jenny Slate is playing Alyssa, who is Ryle's sister. Okay, she gives, like, like you know that quirky friend energy yeah but that's not like really what Alyssa's like this really maternal like rational level-headed sis who knows her brother's like the worst yeah but in Hollywood they just turn it into like a quirky friend yeah that's true I think I mean the comments were fucking brutal

and I don't know if they're really you can't win when you're casting like a movie for a book that people love like they just feel like nothing's gonna be right so I don't know if the comments mean anything I just think everyone is really shocked at how across the board they're casting much older and the whole casting to me is kind of a flop yeah um so I actually think compared to some of the other choices like Jenny Slate is a very good choice yeah and I'm kind of a flop. Yeah. So I actually think compared to some of the other choices, like Jenny Slate is a very good choice. Yeah.

And I'm kind of like writing off. The movie. Like I'm going to watch it when it comes out because it's going to be really exciting. I'm excited for Coho

and for the readers and this is a big moment for all of us. Yeah. But I'm no longer like as excited as I once was because it's just

doesn't feel, it's not the way I saw it. No same. It's not how Sue sees it. And maybe like the lesson here is just leave the books to Reese Witherspoon yeah except Daisy Jones but Daisy Jones was good it was good but there were a few casting mistakes just one actually but it wasn't even that there was something about it that was like, I don't know, just kind of corny, like not authentic to the time. Hmm. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Like it was very like free people 70s collection. Like not really like. So free people. The costumes were not giving. Oh, by the way, speaking of one person we forgot to recap at the Met Gala in terms of her look was Camille Marone. Yes.

And I absolutely loved what she wore. Like it was she's so everything. She's so everything. She I think I would have liked anything she wore because I was just like happy that she was there and she's beautiful and can wear anything. And I thought she looked really beautiful. She's an it girl of the moment right now. Yeah.

She was so good in Daisy Jones. I wonder why Riley Keough wasn't at the Met Gala it's like a year for her yeah she's Elvis's you know maybe she is busy maybe she just didn't want to go respect um so yeah that's what I wanted to share Tyler Sheridan and it ends with us oh and when I was like stalking the it ends with us casting I found that Colleen Hoover followed me on Instagram I don't know when wow so now you have to watch what you say I know oh my god so much pressure except we say mostly flattering things I've read every single one of her books like and while this movie like is about her book it's like I'm not insulting her no no and I feel like writers I feel like it must be really hard you know aside from all the money and

the celebrity and everything accolades as an artist it's probably really hard to have your book turned into a movie and like all the changes that they make and you're just like it's like there's your baby and a lot of times like they don't want the author a part of the project because the author's so connected to it and while that sucks I feel like it's almost better like just you know what you made your money take the money and run yeah it's like the last season of dynasty liam's book is being turned into a movie and of course it is they keep pushing him out and he's really struggling with that so now i feel like i can relate to that experience yeah i watched

dynasty you know what i'm sure it was like hyper realistic yeah i don't know it's it's definitely a push and pull what can i say yeah i mean maybe we'll write a book one day that they turn into a movie but that's why i think re Reese is so good at what she does because like she expects the integrity of books and movies and I think she knows really well like what scenes have to be in here like what's going to translate and what's like that's kind of book things like shut up with that yeah she's like so like the book girl that everyone else should like stop trying no I think people should keep trying That way we get more books turned into movies. Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. They just should get better. Right. They should try harder. They should do better. Hashtag do better. Per usual. So we've got a great show.

I feel like we could dive in. What do you think? I feel as though we could. Dive right into the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Noom. Trends and fads come and go, especially when it comes to health and wellness. But Noom is not a fad. They use psychology, not trends, to help you make intentional and sustainable choices that are aligned with your values and your weight loss

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dot I-O. The code is toast for 20% off. And just make sure your skincare is like really penetrating. It's not just sitting on the surface of your skin that's droplet.io code toast it's so important that it penetrates i'm a big fan of penetration yeah i mean i guess you are too baby number two okay are you ready for our first story for one and two kind of go hand in hand because it's a lot of yellowstone first kevin costner's wife, Christine, has filed for divorce after 18 years of marriage. According to TMZ, she filed to end their marriage on Monday

citing irreconcilable differences. In her filing, she asked for joint custody of their three kids. However, she did not ask for spousal support as TMZ reports that there is a prenup in place. Oh, damn. So, splits bill for Kevin Costner. Yeah, which, of course, you know, Hollywood, Hollywood,

like, it's not a big deal for people to get divorced. But this is just coming off the heels of, like, a lot of rumors about Kevin Costner. Maybe he's, like, kind of a difficult person, and now this, and he won't film Yellowstone. So maybe he's been dealing with some personal issues, which is why we literally are never getting the second half of season five.

The timing is sus. It is sus. Or she's like, you won't go back to Yellowstone. I'm leaving you. Like you ruined my favorite show. Honestly, relatable. Yeah. And she's like, oh, you won't go back to Yellowstone?

I don't even want. Yellowstone. I love it. You're not going back to Yellowstone? I don't even want your spousal support. That's how disgusting I think you are for ruining my favorite show. Right. Or their spousal support is built into their prenup and there's nothing to ask for because it's already

been settled yeah I mean while Hollywood marriages are fickle and you know fleeting and 18 Kevin Costner is like no this is like a real marriage they've kids 18 years like this is like someone's parents getting divorced so it's not like oh whatever you know it's sad um but maybe Kevin's going through something. Yeah. I don't know if this pushes him closer to Yellowstone or further away. I'm going to venture and say further away. Because also it was like she was the one who filed.

Yeah. But maybe he needs his crew now more than ever. Yeah. He needs to get back on the ranch. Or maybe like being on a show that's so wholesome and family oriented is like actually triggering for him. Maybe. Or maybe he's like I'm going to win you back and I'm going to give you the best second half of season five you've ever seen. That's a very interesting tactic.

Yeah. I think that could work. This is, yeah, this is sad. I hope they get back together. It's sad. It also just seems like nobody wants to work these days. Like get your fucking ass up and go film Yellowstone season two, season five, part two. Yeah.

It's kind of, that's what Kim was talking about. She was just like a little ahead of her time. She had secret insider information about Yellowstone. I just watched the episode of Kardashian season two where. She's getting backlash for that. She's getting backlash. And it's so crazy because at the time it was like so big and so loud and like people were taking, you know, she said like advice for women in business, I get your fucking ass

up and work. Like her advice was work hard. Yeah. You know, she said it in like a stricter tone but she said if you want to be successful work hard but that was the message and that that was so controversial and like the way that people like took it and they were like well you know how could you say that after a year where women are this and that it's like she just said work hard right and that was a like a time where in in um the culture you could not talk about work like if you were talking about like working from home verse um back to office if you were if you were talking about working hard there was like a uh like I want to say a year where like a hot button issue was the

topic of working hard versus like working not hard and remote versus office like remember when Jackie literally like people were like Jackie that was like a weird time and so but what she said wasn't crazy I don't know if we're out of that time we just like haven't had a conversation about like work or I don't want to scare anyone like trigger warning back to office right haven't spoken about those things in a while so I don't think that the tone really has changed I just think we haven't it hasn't come up that was that is and was if we're in it like such a weird thing like people were so triggered by those conversations to the point where they were like canceling people like him for so what she said like wasn't bad at all but it was in the context of what we now know is like the what it's just a weird time for conversations about work it was weird yeah yeah but like it was weird to watch it back with

just perspective because when we say this all the time like I'll think about someone's like cancellation someone got backlash or something and when we're in it even as us like as spectators it feels like the biggest deal in the world and oh my god I can't believe they did that and then like you think about it a year or two later and it's like it's it's okay like it's it's fine like someone made a mistake but like it's okay yeah no I think about that a lot um with Hannah Brown from The Bachelor like because she was on Instagram live and she was singing a song from TikTok that had the n-word in it and she like mouthed it slash said it and she like took a hiatus and and she shouldn't have mouthed it we all know like that's not our word but it was like an accident she didn't use it as a slur

being like hey you know right she wasn't used in any sort of derogatory way she was just singing a song that she like got had heard so many times on tiktok it's honestly like a mistake that anybody could have made when you listen to a song so much and it was so crazy but it was also covid right yeah so it was like things were heightened. But when you look back on it now, it's like, well, she's not a bad person. She just like accidentally said something she shouldn't have said. She's accidentally saying something. Right.

She didn't even say something. Saying. Right. Saying. Why are you saying it like that? Saying. Because I was just like emphasizing it. Saying.

Saying. Saying. You know people have issues with the way I say it. Yeah, because you're trying to emphasize sang, and you're still saying sane. But that's not their issue with me. Their issue with me is when I say anything that ends in I-N-G, it sounds like I add a K at the end. Okay, so say something.

I'm going to the store. So it's like going. Yeah, actually I did kind of hear it. I'm now understanding. I used to not be able to understand what they were pointing out. Now I understand it. I don't hear it the way that other people do, but I can that it's real well that's something i dealt with this weekend everyone was like claudia and margo say shannon so weird okay i'm like shannon shannon what yeah no i don't know

people were like not the northerners mary shanahan yep literally people like the northern like shannon what else how does shannon say it i don't know shannon shannon rosemary shanahan it's rosemary shanahan it's giving rosemary shanahan who she's getting into his clams casino make it stop i don't know if there will ever be a day where i'll go to a restaurant and see that they have Clams Casino and not slam my hands on the table and say, hey, now she's getting into my Clams Casino.

I think that you need to try Clams Casino once. I know it's not kosher. It's not kosher. So we can't. And it looks fucking disgusting. But if you're ever like having a cheap day.

Fine, fine. Like just, I might just order it so I can like recreate. So you can know what it feels like and then Ben will get into yours and so you'll know what it feels like to have someone getting into your clams casino because I imagine it's quite devastating I imagine it's traitorous yeah I guess we'll never know

how did we get here how did we get here how do we get out are you ready for our next story yeah more yellowstone news because when one ship sinks another one sets sail yellowstone fans are reeling after two of the stars are confirming their real life romance i saw this but they were like two irrelevance so like who cared they're not they are but the fact that they are dating because they date on the show it's all cute so it's ryan bingham and hassey harrison you probably don't know them by their real names but it's the guy with the guitar who was almost um killed who was almost killed like they got him from prison what's his name um i don't know and the girl who used to sleep with lloyd who then went over to brandy or something she's like a harlot like she was friends with that brunette girl who was the fucking worst.

Yeah, for Jimmy's girlfriend. Who dated Jimmy. Yeah, they were like these two, what do they call them? Like a bunny. Okay, their names are Laramie and Walker. Laramie and Walker, yeah. Cute. A bunny, yeah.

They called them like rodeo bunnies or, you know, bunny bunnies. Something. Whatever. Cute. Like, we don't get enough Yellowstone romance like on set also did you see I can't remember anyone's name from Yellowstone I don't know why it's killing me um Casey's wife what's her name Monica is it Monica Tate's mom yeah I think it's Monica okay he just feels like that's let's just say for argument's

sake her name is Monica okay she was at the Met Gala. Did you see her? No. She looked snatched. Oh my gosh. Like so gorgeous. Yes, her name is Monica and now let's see her at the Met Gala. She wore this like red dress and she has a new short haircut.

Like it was really, it was working. It was giving high fashion. It was giving elegance. Oh wow. Yeah. Doesn't she look great? Oh yeah.

Oh my God, she looks awesome. Yeah. I didn't see like any fanfare for her no she wasn't in the Vogue article that's so cool yeah

happy for her but like where's Rip Rip should be at the Met Gala where's Beth where's Beth where's Beth and Rip they should be there

and that's a miss I know and like Cole Hauser is married to like a lovely woman and I have nothing against her but they're not right for each other because she's not Beth yeah but I just feel like in real life like Cole isn't Rip and Beth isn't oh I actually I don't think Beth is Beth yeah Beth is Australian

yeah something like that um I think Cole Hauser like you see his Instagram like it's all about like the troops and whiskey like Like, he's so ripped. But I also feel like maybe at the beginning when he was cast, like, he wasn't ripped. But then, like, you're playing this guy and you're, like, inspired by him. And how do you not fall in love with him? And how do you not want to just become him? It's like, well, I could dress like this. You know, I don't have to go back to my old hair color.

No, I think even if it's not, like, in a physical sort of aesthetic way that he's leaning into rip, like, wearing the coats and the boots, I think in his heart he's definitely like turned you can't play an actor you I'm sorry nobody's that good of an actor you know you can't play a character that well without it being part of who you are yeah but I also think like art can imitate life and you could play someone you could play someone so amazing that they have a lasting impact on you completely agree I feel like people say that all the time usually they're playing like real life someone so amazing that they have a lasting impact on you. Completely agree. I feel like people say that all the time. Usually they're playing like real life characters.

Yeah. You know, I think like Jessica Chastain was saying that when she was playing Tammy Faye. I mean, that definitely happened to me when I auditioned for that episode of Law and Order. Like I. It made you want to move to Pensacola. It made me want to move to Pensacola. Like that character who was a girl who like facilitated a murder on the Internet because she was just like a troll who took it too far. It was inspiring for you. It was inspiring because on the internet because she was just like a troll who took it too far um it was inspiring for you it was inspiring because you know she was deeply misunderstood you know and i saw that in the character and that's probably why i didn't get

the role um and every time that episode airs like it it's painful for me but i'm so endlessly inspired by the character and i think that made me it's part of who she's definitely got a little turdy lou in her you know she was turdy lou she was so turdy before yeah he was born no she was like turdy lou of turdy lou like had taken a different route in life like you know things happen to us and they change who we are and you could either let it take you down a dark path and that's what would have happened that episode of law and order like that's who i would have become if all the things in my life all the adversity i faced let me you know i let it take me down but instead i ended up here instead you followed the light yeah and i let it change me for the better and grow from that so that's really beautiful it's kind of like that

movie sliding doors like the girl from pensacola on that episode of law and order is who i would have turned into if i didn't get on the train but I got on the train and here's who I am now. Turdy Lou so you're saying yeah right all roads lead back to Turdy Lou. 100 percent so you also see speaking of Jessica Chastain that she dyed her hair. Yeah it was like it was cool. Yeah I miss I like the better red. Well of course. No but sometimes like people do something crazy I'm like love it yeah no it was cool for the moment like i don't think she's in a play so she can't do you think it was a wig no no i'm because redheads like can't really dye their hair you can't really get your color back but it did not look like a wig unless her red is not unless she's not a natural redhead which we've had this conversation before yeah i believe that she is but i could also like

see us being shocked that she's not also speaking of redheads this is so random and I'm sure it wasn't picked as a story but did you see Sophie Turner's thing on Instagram so she posted a statement and she was like I you all know like Joe and I don't post our kids like we really respect their privacy um I accidentally posted a video on my stories of I think our daughter um and I'm asking like you not repost it and publish it on any websites or whatever. I'm sure she was like trying to maybe post it on close friends or something. And she had posted it for like a few minutes

and it got out there. And I guess like people were sending it around. But you know what? I have to say, I have not seen it anywhere. Not seen it, not heard this story. And it's giving me faith. That's great. Yeah.

Wow. She must have had such a pit. Yeah. Like accidentally posting on social media something you didn't want to post is literally the biggest anxiety inducing thing but then having it be your child level 10 yeah well that's good yeah that people are respecting it are respecting it yeah nice yeah well anyways happy for this couple I hope that you know this means like the set of Yellowstone is I mean they're like thriving yeah but like

they're not even on set they're not working I think that they are you think they're filming the stuff without Kevin Costner I think that nobody knows what's going on yeah and I think that a lot of it is rumors and gossip maybe that's why Taylor Sheridan's bodyguard body checked me he didn't want me getting the scoop yeah I think that there's a good chance that like Yellowstone is hunky-dory and that everyone just wants to take them down so true and even if it's not hunky-dory it's not like this clusterfuck that we're all speculating that it is where like no one can work yeah I think it's gonna be fine for sure but like where there's smoke there's fire I don't know like it's not like they're filming in LA like who's going checking on montana what's going on maybe we should like and it's like the

new york post is the one who like keeps reporting like do you have boots on the ground in montana such a good question such a not a one to fucking hear it such a good question so just a little skepticism she said what she said goes a long way 100 are you ready for our next story yeah someone who's really just having a renaissance in my eyes this year is james corden i would agree because he's explaining why he thinks it's time and why it is time for him to bid goodbye to the late late show so he did an interview with howard howard stern on serious xm always a great place to redeem yourself and it wasn't even about howard howard just asked a question he was like i read a rumor that you were offered 50 million dollars to stay in late night like confirm or

deny and James did not deny it and he said you know like the money it's a lot to walk away from but that ultimately his decision um for terminating his tenure as host revolves entirely around his family he's worried about his parents aging and how little time he has left with them. And so he wants to move back to the UK to be with them so that like when his dad calls him up, like let's go to lunch, he can just go. So that's really why he's leaving.

Oh my God, that's like so, that endears me to him greatly. It was like all about his family and his parents and just like making the most of the time that they have left. And like no amount of of money could give you time back with your parents right like it's priceless oh that's such a relatable thing I feel like that's the hardest part about getting older is like if that's what like me and my friends are always talking about it's like just seeing your parents grow older and like knowing like you have the emotional intelligence and

maturity to be like you know life is short time is limited it's like it's so sad and that's honestly I can't believe James Corden like still has parents like how fucking old is he um so so relatable it's true like you think how could anyone walk away from 50 million dollars for your family you'd walk away from anything like yeah no and it's like would you pay like you know I feel like when you ask people like who have lost loved ones it's like would you pay any amount of money to have even one day to get like together again and they would and like nothing would be worth like losing that time but it's not often that someone like has that perspective I know before it's too late and someone who's like so successful and like on this hamster wheel where you could always be like oh I'll do that then I'll buy them a house it's fine yeah so to walk away

from all of that I think is really commendable and i'm sure a part of him even though this is totally me is just kind of like fuck you all like i think that james corden is actually a really good person and i think he had some you know the balthazar and the eggs and i think he was that's another situation where when at the time it was like he sent back his eggs and was rude to the waiter we got so in it like we couldn't see out and now in hindsight i actually think that like the whole story was kind of um a lie not a lie but like i i don't trust that balthazar guy also i like saw a headline he was talking about the balthazar guy was talking about Adele's

carpool karaoke saying that she looked like Cruella de Vil and that they're both profoundly inauthentic and called the episode the biggest pile of horseshit he's seen in 40 years oh so he's kind of like a troll he's kind of like not so reputable I just want to be like with my pitch forks yeah but yet we all were plant our flag in there so I feel like between like the petitions to get James Corden off of movies you you know, everybody like ran to like take up their pitchforks against him because he sent his wife's eggs back. Right. He's like, fuck you, USA.

I'm going to go be with my parents. You know what? I feel that completely. And he got into this. It's like the Anne Hathaway circuit. Like you're just. Oh, my God. Oh, I forgot to tell you this.

When I was at Stagecoach like during one of the days where I was just recovering, I watched John Mulaney's comedy special. Okay. It's all about his intervention, his time at rehab,

and now like remission or whatever it's called. Recovery. Recovery. Thank you. It was excellent. It was hysterical. It was like very,

he had been like extremely humbled and like was really funny about it um and something he said that really stuck with me he was like you know I relapsed and got divorced and now my reputation is different and he said likability is a prison because he was like this guy everybody just loved him John Lennon John Lennon like they really put him on a pedestal then he just did he did one thing like he got divorced and I don't know what the timeline everyone was like oh but he got divorced like. John Lennon, John Lennon. Like they really put him on a pedestal. And then he just did, he did one thing. Like he got divorced. And I don't know what the timeline, everyone was like, oh, but he got divorced.

Like that's a personal choice in his life. He's allowed to get divorced. And now he's the devil. And everyone's like, he's a harlot. Like, and he knows that that's what people say about him. And he was actually really self-aware. And likability is a prison. That's what happened to James Corden. Yeah.

And that's what happened to Anne Hathaway. Like likability is a prison Taylor Swift Taylor Swift people like you and then they have to it's just like human nature they have to dislike you they have to destroy you then you do something that because you're a person and not every choice that you're gonna your make is gonna line up with the like what people want for you yeah but you have to do what's best for you and you upset them and it's just it's so disappointing and it's a snow like it's not like they could you disappoint them and then everyone moves on and back it's like well it was that and then they disappointed me again and they

just look for things likability is a prison i thought it was like the most profound thing i'd ever heard that's why we're free claude because nobody likes us and actually the special you should watch it if like i know you have downtime it was very funny and very good he doesn't really talk about the divorce as much he just referenced the fact that he got divorced he doesn't talk about like you know olivia olivia and anna marie she conceived but he talks all about his um intervention like in great detail and like great detail about his addiction like how much what drugs he was doing how much he was doing how much money he was spending how he was getting because the first

time he went into recovery he told his accountant like you're not allowed to give me money like if if I ask you for money my doctor has to be cc'd on the email like his money was like locked up but he realized he had this credit card he was using Venmo like it was it was actually just really interesting like how he outsmarted himself. It's very good. And it was also funny. Okay, cool. Yeah, I highly recommend it.

Have you watched his stuff before? No, I'm not a John Mulaney girl. So I just wonder if it's funnier than what he was doing before? Same amount of funny or less funny? Yeah, I don't know. I think maybe before. I was never really drawn to him because it was like, everybody loves John Mulaney.

John Mulaney is so great. I like okay whatever but now he's been like humbled he's just like the rest of us he makes mistakes he's not perfect this like everyone loves him interesting it's much more interesting when people are flawed and he was so self-aware like it was really good I highly recommend it's called baby jay okay cool thank you for that you're welcome oh and he was talking about like he was so nervous when he got to rehab like everyone was gonna know him Like oh my god It's like humiliating And not one person

Recognized him To the point where He was like angry about it And he would like Buy newspapers Like with his face in it And like leave it across Like the facility

He was there for like Three months He was there for a long time That's funny That's like James Marsden In the one episode Of Jerry Doobie Exactly of the jury

Yeah Of the world jury The world That's what it should Have been called Yeah Because James Marsden Is low key in 30 Rock

That's who Liz ends up with It's her boyfriend Of course What's his name Carol Or is that It is right No

He has a girl's name No the other Matt Damon is Carol Matt Damon has a girl's name What's James Marsden's name Let me google it All of her boyfriends Had such fucking weird names

She had the best boyfriends Jason Sudeikis James Marsden John Hamm John Hamm that episode was great james marsden 30 rock what is his name his name was chris cross yeah yeah so good um what were you talking about originally jorden. Oh, likability is a prison. So you know what? I agree with you.

He's free now. And he's like, fuck you all, bitch. I'm out. And I have mad respect for that. Not like, thank you guys for accepting me back. I'm back. OK, let me take my $50 million. I'll be back on TV every night trying to make you laugh.

No, likability is a prison. So I respect him. Hopefully, he'll be at the coronation this weekend. Yes. Oh, I also apparently say coronation. You do. Likeability is a prison So I I respect him Hopefully he'll be at the Coronation this weekend Yes Oh I also This weekend Apparently say coronation You do

It's coronation Coronation Okay It's coronation day I heard it that time Okay Coronation is this weekend May 6th

Snitch's birthday For her birthday Wow She is getting a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel Hopefully Hopefully it'll be a Beautiful sunny day in London

A spring day Yeah Yeah I'm excited For the fanfare For the performances For the performances Charles Cavalier Spaniel. Hopefully it'll be a beautiful sunny day in London. A spring day. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited for the fanfare. For the performances. For the performances to see who's there. I'm excited.

I'm going to like get swept up. Why not? Why not? What else are you doing? You can't come to Taylor Swift. Yeah. Might as well get swept up in a global affair. Right?

Even though like the time. The camera cameras coming out for a global affair. All right. That's right. Let the party don't stop. That's such a good song. Such a good song. I'm really shook because I told you I wrote, I read that short story by Jessica Simpson.

And like, I've been thinking about it a lot. And like, it's literally about Mark Wahlberg. Like it is like the timeline lines up. She talked about. Can you give a little backstory for everyone? What you're referring to?

Jessica Simpson wrote like a 30 page book which you should read because it counts towards your reading goal and it takes 30 minutes to read and it's good and she's a great writer

and she has cute stories and it's a true story about- Her dating an actor. Her like, just like dalliance with- Her what?

What does that mean? Like a, it wasn't dating. A fling? Yeah, a fling. Like a short affair. Dalliance. I'm trying to add that one to my repertoire.

It's a dalliance with an actor who she like loved when she was a like a younger. Small child. Not that small, but like she was a fan of his and then she became famous. And like he's A-list then, A-list now, A-list back in the day. And how they like got kind of like swept up in each other he invited her he was filming a movie on the east coast he took her with him um and just like wanted her to like wait around the hotel room all day to like fuck or something i don't they never had sex um and then she found out that he was mad that he was in a relationship the whole time so it was just

like that's it right it's about markberg. That's what the internet pretty much decided. Like, but also based on everything she said, like it's about Mark Wahlberg. It's crazy that like it's figured out. Yeah. And it's just like, we're all like, we all know Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. No, like there were so many crumbs that she left. Like she was at the VMAs.

She said he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that year. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Then the movie he was filming on the East east coast like he had to get permission from the director to let her come onto the set because like this director is known for like oh what was moving set i believe it was the departed martin scorsese like this director is known and it was on the east coast but it wasn't it was outside new york city they filmed in boston like it was like jessica simpson was on the set she wasn't even trying to like not tell us who it was. Yeah.

Yeah. And I just like now that's all I think about when I see Mark Wahlberg. I got to read that book because it counts toward my reading goal. You have to. And I'm slacking on my reading goal. Like literally it will take you 30 minutes and it's really cute. Okay. Okay.

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KendraScott.com. Use code TOAST and order by May 7th to receive in time for Mother's Day. Standard exclusions apply. May 7th, so the day after Coronation Day. It's Coronation Day. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Just getting hyped up because Vanderp you ready for our next story? Yeah.

Just getting hyped up because Vanderpump Rules is on tonight and yesterday they dropped the trailer for the season finale which like I just need immediately. But it was weird

because there was like this turnt like leaked trailer going around and I don't know if it was real or not and then that's what prompted Bravo to be like oh you think you saw it?

Here it actually is. Oh was it AI? I don't know what the fuck it was. There's all this AI now. I keep falling for AI. I saw this video. I saw this picture of a pope. And you saw the picture of the pope in the puffer jacket.

Everyone was like, stylish pope. I totally thought it was real. That's so funny. I also fell for a cover song of Kanye West singing This Is Me Trying by Taylor Swift. It was so real. I guess you can like, it's AI's turn. Not to get political but I'm not here for it. No it's really crazy. I think there's like a few

cool things that like uses for it. Actually there's probably a lot of like good uses for it but I think there are a lot of nefarious ones. I've been seeing a lot of like cyber scams. Like I saw this woman who she got a call like from her daughter saying like that she was like being

kidnapped and like ransom like it's really fucking scary no I'm not into it I think that the cons outweigh the pros um and now I'm just skeptical of everything I see yeah but I also think that like some of the AI stuff that I've seen is like like crappy like I've heard people like use my voice for AI. Yeah. And it doesn't sound like me a hundred percent. No, no, for sure. I saw this TikTok of a guy like going up to people on the street

asking them what they do for a living and if they think their jobs could be replaced by AI and like pretty much every single person's could. I was thinking that today. Do you think our job

could be replaced by AI? No. We're so unpredictable. We're so unpredictable and our job is inherently creative that no, I don't. No, but creative things can be replaced by AI. They're making like AI Van Goghs and they look like Van Gogh.

Yeah, that's true. Or like Picasso. No, but like why our jobs are our jobs is because we are who we are. Do you think AI could become us? They could study us long enough and hard. Yes, yes, they could. I don't think. I would love to watch

an AI episode of the toast sit back relax enjoy I actually would too to be able to finally watch it as like a spectator yeah and see what they think I would like what would I say I'm so unpredictable though it just really depends on how I woke up like how I slept that night you know am I in a good mood am I in a bad mood But the AI would Start to study those things And they would know It's turn It's turn It is really turn

So anyways I guess that first trailer Was AI that you saw I don't know what it was But that's what caused them To drop the real one Okay well In the teaser

For the season 10 finale Vanderpump Rules Which was filmed shortly After Scandaval leaked The Ariana and Tom Have a Heated confrontation with Tom telling Ariana me and Raquel became like really good friends she's screaming at him I don't give a fuck about your

fucking about fucking Raquel your friendship is fucking bullshit um Sheena's crying yep everyone's there it's crazy how the tone of it which I didn't expect is like Tom Sandoval like trying to explain himself not like grovel yeah but narcissists gonna narcissist she said I regret ever loving you obsessed they definitely like cut stuff right like I feel like we got to stand up Sandoval like quickly no I don't think they the finale's next week no it is yeah and the reunion is like end of May we're like almost there okay no i don't think they cut stuff we've been watching for a long time i know i just felt like there was gonna be so much irrelevant stuff and it's like actually not and there really are like traces of scandal

about like the lead-up to this which is why i feel like when scandal broke everyone was like it was the craziest idea ever but it wasn't like to them it wasn't like they there were weird the abby but i do think the fact like there's one thing to be like you behaved inappropriately and another thing to be like you had a fucking six month affair yeah but see we know it does feel like things have cut because we just had sheena's wedding and that was in august and then i regretted ever loving you was seven months later but they weren't filming the entire time they cameras went back up when scott got it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i just can't wait it does feel like it's coming to like a But they weren't filming the entire time The cameras went back up when Scandival broke Got it Yeah yeah yeah

I just can't wait The season does feel like it's coming to a natural end Oh it feels quick for me That's because we're enjoying But they said over and over again they weren't editing the season Yeah well they didn't need to Now that we know what we've seen There was traces of Scandival

Yeah And the trailer looks really good obviously there was a big lead up and it's Kristen Doughty and I just have to say Kristen Doughty is a queen and I'm sure her just hatred for Tom outweighs anything but like it really is important to not forget like how Tom and Ariana started I do forget like because I think Ariana is like such a great gal I and I really feel like it was really just like one kiss at the golden nugget I like don't see see it as like a cheating situation but like I'm wrong for that yeah no and it was never they never admitted that they cheated but like Kristen was convinced and everything Kristen like was called crazy for ended up like being true. So. But I knew that already because Tom is horrible.

Right. Right. So it's like, was it really this big affair or was it, they said their timeline was totally kosher. I think there was a kiss and there was definitely like an emotional affair and like a really deep friendship. And he was kind of like waiting to date her. Right.

And she was waiting to date him. But to me, like comparing Tom and Ariana's origin to Tom and Raquel like it's apples and oranges okay that's how I feel that's how Sue sees it yeah but I could be wrong for that well if Sue sees it that way then I choose to see it that way yeah um so Kristen is is filming that's very exciting for OG Vanderpump Rules fan. I don't think we ever thought we were going to see her on TV again. Yeah. Suck a dick, Diana. Suck a dick.

I can't wait. Well, it's on tonight. But that trailer is not tonight. No. I think it's next week. No, but tonight is going to be good too. They like go on a camping trip. There's all the fallout from like, I actually watched so many, there were so many clips

that dropped of what's going to happen tonight. They've been doing this thing, Bravo, where on social media, they release the first seven minutes of a highly anticipated episode to like create hype. And it's actually really smart. Oh, I didn't know that's what was happening. Yeah. Like the first seven minutes

for the last couple episodes. I just keep seeing like one minute clips, like seven of them. And I'm like, I feel like I watched the episode. Right. But it's like Lisa and Ken in their house telling Katie that Raquel slept at Tom's. Then they go on this camping trip.

You see Tom try and lie about Raquel having slept there. But Raquel's already told people. Because like. I guess nothing really happened that time. Right. So she didn't like. She's. Have anything to hide.

She's also like. I mean she actually winds up being a liar. Because she had a six month affair. But like. Whenever she's asked a question. Like. She just. Right.

So far on the show. Right. Do you know what I mean? It's like her naivete. Just answering honestly. Yeah. Like not seeing how bad It makes her look

Right She doesn't like think To lie except about You know having an affair And then I think What was it Someone said On Watch What Happens Live

Like at one point In this season Like Ariana like goes To Raquel And they have a conversation About how like Ariana's Worried about her relationship With Tom

And she just confides And she thinks He's cheating on her Right I think Yeah yeah yeah And she just confides In Raquel And's cheating on her right yeah and she just confides in and Raquel sits there stone-faced that's like true like mentally psychotic shit yeah so we're getting there we're getting there it's very exciting it feels

rewarding I felt like it would feel like this endless journey of like watching irrelevant stuff until we got to Hannibal no but honestly season, I have no bad things to say. It's really, every episode has been amazing. And honestly, I just caught up on the plane. Cause last weekend I get to recap it, um,

on the satchel of it all. And I'm obsessed with it. That's Margo's new name. Like, why is his name satchel? I'm obsessed with family. Fallow may. It's so weird.

He looks 11. He looks like a kid. I went to NYU with, I'm obsessed with Fimile Falame. It's so weird. He looks 11. He looks like a kid I went to NYU with. I'm obsessed. Like, I didn't think anything could, like, make me more excited than, like, Scandival, but Satchel. Satchel greater than Scandival. Satchel is every,

I could watch the two of them for an eternity. Like, when she said she was dating this younger guy, like, I just never expected him to look like that. And they're literally perfect for each other. They have to get married. The satch. The satch. And I can't wait to like see what he brings to the show.

If they really like become like a relationship. I hope he brings a satchel. Oh, he better bring a satchel. I'm obsessed. And like the hair parted down the middle. It's just, it's too much.

It's like you. That's like your hair. Okay. Don't be rude. Don't be fucking rude. You're wearing your hair down the middle it's just it's too much it's like you that's like your hair okay don't be rude don't be fucking rude you're wearing your hair down the middle too bad it's true but like you're committed to the middle part life okay and you and satchel have that in common shut the fuck up you're such a bitch i literally didn't even say anything i say that you wear a middle part like satchel move on like just move on before you really hurt me are you ready for our fifth and final story yes i am because we have to dive into your toasters oh yeah we do and this is just you

know our funny our funny human interest story of the day a concert goer at the la philharmonic performance reportedly had a loud and full body orgasm during i heard about this during a performance of tchaikovsky's Fifth Symphony. It's what Tchaikovsky would have wanted. It is. And the music is like really stunning. You know, there are like such freaks like that who are so into art. Like they literally could give himself an orgasm from just like a symphony.

I totally believe this. Yeah. Multiple attendees at Walt Disney Concert Hall reported hearing a moaning noise at one point during the performance. It felt like there was a gasp in the audience and rather a lovely expression of somebody who was so transported that it had some kind of effect on them a fellow concert goer described the moment as quite beautiful when speaking with the la times yeah i happen to think like public displays of like sex and intimacy are disgusting but like something

about this is so beautiful like i don't i think i would start to orgasm with her i'm like yes queen like i don't find this gross at all no i well I just read a quote that was like a little creepy I saw the girl after it happened I assumed that she had an orgasm because she was heavily breathing and her partner was smiling and looking at her okay don't make it disgusting like it was a nice story until like it was obviously obviously this girl got finger banged in the back like her man no but that's until I read that quote I thought it was like the music over finger banged in the back like her man no but that's until i read that quote i thought it was like the music over to her um and i feel like people don't have really an appreciation for classical music these days and i and i i really am grateful that like this

woman to hear that somebody was brought to a climax literally because of her deep appreciation for tchaikovsky but the person without boots on the ground ruined it just being like it was like two disgusting people like fingering each other in the back i didn ground ruined it. Just being like, it was like two disgusting people fingering each other in the back. I didn't think it was that. Maybe he could have been smiling and not have had anything to do with it. Maybe he was just like, maybe he also had an orgasm.

Maybe they're two classical music aficionados. But they would have reported on his sounds On his. I guess. Sounds. What is like a performance that you would go to. That would move you so deeply. That bring you to a climax. Because mine would be Taylor playing Peace. May 6th in Nashville.

That's why she won't play it. Yeah of course. What would yours be? Like there's going to be kids there. I'll be in a suite. so I'll be in the privacy. What would mine be? Like, Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, maybe, like...

Maybe, like... Okay, I have another one of what mine would be. If I had been in the audience when Kelly Clarkson performed piece by piece on American Idol... Oh, 100%. I would have been brought to tears and climax that as well. That's another thing I would have. Yeah. Yeah.

Totally. Do you have an answer or no? No, no. I honestly, I don't, but I'm happy for the LA Philharmonic that they're in the headlines. It's a great reminder,

you know, donate to your local Philharmonic and you know, check out classical music. Yeah. Like it's a great reminder you know donate to your local philharmonic and you know check out classical music yeah like it's nice stuff and who knows what could happen for you if you go i seized on it it's true bless you yeah i think this is actually really good press for like most last time you supported the arts in that way like at a philharmonic or something not recently because like with covid and everything you know blaming COVID there are a few things that I wanted to see but then you know didn't happen COVID what can I say it's not your fault it's not my fault um but you know what is your fault nothing true uh I was

looking for a segue so speaking of segues But other people who are at fault are some people who wrote into Dear Toasters. So Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment every Wednesday, we try and help the girlies out. You can write in to deartoasters at gmail.com

to get something off your chest. If you've written something in and you haven't been heard, either your quandary isn't interesting or most likely it's too long. So maybe you want to rewrite it

and just like give us just the need to know basics. We can't be reading, you know, McGillis. Again, that's deartoasters at gmail.com and Deer Toasters is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. When you look at bags of dog food, all you see is pictures of bright carrots and juicy steaks, right? But you open it up and you're getting burnt, smelly little pellets. Dog food needs some fresh thinking and that's why the Farmer's Dog was created. It is real food. You are feeding your dog the farmer's dog. It is fresh, healthy food with whole meat and veggies that is gently cooked in human grade kitchens.

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and Streisbro mothers. Streis mothers. Streis-motherin. Motherin. All right, are you ready for Dear Toasters? Yeah. Hello, Jackson Turd

My boyfriend a total p-jom just moved into my house a few months ago We've been together for two years and I think we'll be getting engaged very soon

He was in the shower tonight and I went into his man cave to snoop to see if he has my engagement ring yet I should not have done this

but ended I shouldn't have done this but I ended up peeking into his briefcase to see if it was in there To my shock I found a bottle of pills labeled

Sildenefilhil Citrates, which is a generic brand of Viagra. I was crushed that he was not honest with me and now I'm feeling like the recent spiciness of our sex life

has all been a lie. What are the next steps here? I'm not sure how to react, but I'm feeling very hurt. Any advice is appreciated. Love you, girls. A toaster with a metaphorically

flaccid wiener. I don't know. Evidence that you found illegally is inadmissible. Facts. I don't know. Evidence that you found illegally is inadmissible. Facts. I'm also feeling like, maybe just take the win here, you know? Like, yeah, it wasn't great that he wasn't honest,

but like, it's humiliating, I guess. And it's like, at least you're gonna dick down. Like, just enjoy it, you know? Yeah, but like, if you are gonna- Why would you question everything? If you're gonna have a future with someone, like, you need to know what medications they're on, right? I know, for sure, for sure.

But it's like, is this one so bad? You know? know no it's not about it's a bad medication or it's a good medication but I think that there should be transparency no there should and I'm not saying this is right no I don't think this is like a this is a horrible deal breaker like whatever you just need to find a way to like spill open his briefcase in the living room and say hey what's this yeah but I think until you do that just like enjoy the ride literally you'd be like the lady at the philharmonic like at least you're benefiting from his lie yeah he said there's been a spiciness oh i guess he it was under his name so you can't be like maybe he was picking them up for his dad right i don't know i heard like viagra could be used to

treat covid i did hear that too maybe he's just suffering from long covid or something it's happening to millions of you have to find a way to spill the briefcase be used to treat COVID. I did hear that too. Maybe he's just suffering from long COVID or something. It's happening to millions of Americans. You have to find a way to spill the briefcase. Yeah. Spill the briefcase. And so you guys can have a conversation about it. You need to like. I don't know. I'm like not that annoyed. I can't explain. I'm not annoyed but I would want answers. Yes hypothetically I would want answers too but like if I'm the recipient of the benefit of this drug what could be bad it's not like he's taking spermicide you know but it's not bad it's just dishonest it's just like you just have to have information about your partner for sure for sure especially two years it's not like it's a new relationship like those things take time but like you're talking about getting engaged like if he has an issue ed or something like that's something that you would want to know

about and I think that that's totally fine yeah but it's also understandable why I didn't share it's like humiliating no I'm not mad that he hasn't shared it yet but now my focus is to get him to share in a legal way and not saying that you snooped I'm trying to help you but you could always just be like hey I fucking snooped I know. But you could always just be like, hey, I fucking snooped. I know. It's like... But then it's like, okay, sure, maybe I take Viagra,

but you're mistrusting. No, and then if he ever wants to hide something from you again, he's going to have to hide it better and then you won't find it. That's why you have to just find a way to bring it up. To organically find the bottle.

Yeah. Be like, hey babe, I'm just putting this sandwich in your briefcase for lunch. I'm putting this sandwich in your briefcase for lunch. Or like, I bought an extra,

you know, sub from Jimmy John's. Let me throw it in your briefcase. What's this? I got these perfect snack bars. Yeah. My favorite podcast

was talking about them. I think you would love it as a snack at work. I love that. Yeah. That's the one. That's the one. All right, next up. Good up good morning Jackson Turney I'm in need of advice my boyfriend and I moved across the country this month and moved from a one-bedroom apartment to a three-bedroom

home obviously we're in need of a lot of things to furnish our new home so far I have bought everything and it's getting really pricey I brought up to my boyfriend that I would like help buying things for our home but he is yet to help me or give me any money am I wrong for asking him to help financially I appreciate any advice on how I should handle this no you're not wrong for asking like two people like it's a dual income home yeah I know but it's just frustrating because it's like if if like she doesn't pay for stuff and he's not going to then nothing will be bought right because he'll live in a house with empty furniture it means nothing to him it's not like a punishment for him right he wanted it he would

work with you to go and get it. I would just get really organized. Like start a spreadsheet a checklist send invoices like this is a it's not like you're picking up lunch

like furniture is fucking it's thousands of dollars. And also I feel like you need to find a way to like there are some things that you guys have to have right. You have to have a couch.

A TV. A TV a dining table so like make sure he pays for those things so that you can pay for this padded pant. Right. This potpourri padded pant. Right, right. This potpourri bowl.

Right. This sconce. This down comforter. Things that he will not pay for because he doesn't think that you need. Right. But like he needs a place to sit and eat his dinner. He needs a place to watch the game. He needs a TV and to watch the game on.

Right. So I think that that's the best way and your only way of getting him to help out financially. It's like things that you have to have. But just know like in no way, shape or form are you like irrational or asking for too much. Like this is a basic human necessity. And like don't feel shy about it. Like ask. Get the money.

Yeah. Get the card. Just get a picture of his credit card. It'll just be like an easier sell if you're like we need a reclining chair. Right. Not we need. This feather duster. this feather duster this feather duster yeah this ottoman yeah exactly no but an ottoman is a basic human right like to put your feet up listen you gotta talk yeah just you think like a man yeah you gotta act like a woman but think

like a man those were probably my favorite movies of all time. The Steve Harvey ones. Oh yeah. I love those movies. They're so good. The second one wasn't great but the first was so good. Okay third and final. Okay what do you got for us? Hey Jackson Claude. My boyfriend and I have recently started looking into engagement rings after a few years of dating and living together. The other day after we spent some time looking at vintage rings he told me that his mom actually already bought the diamond that he would use for the ring. I had never heard of anything like that so we explained further that she bought him and his siblings each diamonds when they were born to use for their engagement. Now maybe I'd be okay wearing some mother of the groom purchased ring but her and I are not very

close and she's always seemed strangely jealous that I'm dating her son. I just find it a little weird. Have you heard of this with the diamond purchasing at birth? Apparently it's a thing in super wealthy families, which I had never heard of. Anyway, I told my boyfriend I'd rather this just be between the two of us, but he told me that he feels a little weird not using the diamond and he isn't sure how he'd tell his mom that he wants to choose one just us.

Should I just get over it and use the diamond even though I wanted a vintage ring or is this a little odd? One, take the diamond and run. You could reset it into a vintage setting yeah run with the diamond it's definitely weird I've never heard of this in my fucking life and what's so crazy is like when you give birth like the first thing you're thinking of is your son's eventual partner that's actually like as a mama a boy mom that's the last thing we're

thinking of you know it's like that's the we're dreading it's definitely weird it's not a thing I know there are of course diamonds that are passed down like your grandmother's like I know that I never heard of this shit this is fucking weird never heard of this in my life maybe it's a thing common if you've heard of this but like why when you're you give birth to someone your first thing to do is get a gift for their eventual partner who's going to take them away from you no it's giving some sort of like hamlet type shit like something's weird it's giving an oedipus small man take the diamond yeah save his money and he'll help you buy furniture yeah of course no no like never turn down a free diamond like and reset it however you like yeah yeah yeah no and she's she's just saying diamond it's not a

ring it's just a stone so you could get a vintage band yeah but like the stone i guess wouldn't be vintage who gives a shit no one thing about engagement she bought 30 years ago no what it's so true by the way one thing about engagement rings is like when you're like buying them and designing them it's like the most important thing in the world and then it really is just a piece of jewelry that you love and associate with your husband like it's not okay but you're not going to take away the importance of like an engagement ring to someone who is currently getting engaged.

No. I just want to let you know this isn't going to be something you're thinking about in 10 years being like I wish I got that vintage. You're going to love it because it's like a symbol of your love. And it just freed up a couple G's for your man. Yeah. It sounds like you also you're marrying into a wealthy family. So I would just behave.

You know. You want more diamonds? Fucking behave and take the ring bitch and shut up. Yeah. No. Like someone's offering you A free diamond I don't see the problem

I'm seeing Solutions Abound I'm seeing You know we could Possibly repurpose These finances To maybe put it down

Deposit on a home Or a car I'm seeing freedom A Tesla I'm seeing a Tesla Yeah I My advice is

Shut up Take the ring Behave Get the Tesla sure or whatever or a truck i don't know where you'd like what what do you what are your needs now you get to explore those because you got a ring thank you to everyone who wrote into dear toasters again that was dear toasters at gmail.com our advice segment for the week tomorrow's episode we are in studio what i'm just laughing at the segment oh you're just laughing how funny we are hey studio. What? I'm just laughing at the segment. Oh, you're just laughing at how funny we are? Hey, I could never. They wouldn't,

no, I think they would expect me to like laugh a few seconds after it's over. No, but they would never be able to give like such good advice. No, because they haven't lived. That's the thing.

Because we're a really unique blend of like old conservative grandma, but like we're also young hip girls. Like we know these are modern times and things change,

times change, but there are universal truths. Right. That are eternal. Some of those universal truths, like, came from your bubby who lived in a shuttle. Like, she could never imagine life as we know it now. But the principles are, they're the same. It's the same.

Yeah. And she would take the diamond and run. And she would fucking behave. Today's episode is over. It fucking behave today's episode is over it is tomorrow's episode is in studio

and then Friday's episode is podcast only because I'm headed to Nashville to hopefully hear Taylor sing peace and perhaps have an orgasm

so thank you so much to everyone listening to the toast you don't do it I'm not feeling it yeah but I don't do it like you

is that okay I guess thank you guys so much for listening to the toast the best podcast you've ever heard and AI could fucking never ever deliver Yeah, but I don't do it like you. Is that okay? I guess. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the best podcast you've ever heard, and AI could fucking never deliver these lines of comedy genius. And truth.

If you like us, follow us on Instagram, subscribe on YouTube, join our Patreon, patreon.com slash The Toast, so you never have to go without Jackson Turd again, and we shall see you tomorrow. Now you say. Love ya. Bye.