The Toast - Not For The Easily Offended with Jackie Schimmel: Tuesday, October 17th, 2023

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

Britney Spears Finally Reveals Why She Shaved Her Head in 2007 (Page Six) (23:34)Kroy Biermann, Kim Zolciak Selling Georgia Mansion For $6 Million On Heels of Financial Woes (Page Six) (32:52)Apparently Jada and Will Have Been Separated For 7 Years (The Cut) (39:45)Lance Bass Holds Up ‘Not Taylor Swift’ Sign at Chargers-Cowboys Game (NY Post) (53:27)Tom Sandoval Cries While Pooping After Emotional ‘Special Forces’ Challenge (Page Six) (1:02:24)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) The Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to The Toast. I am thrilled. I am excited. I'm a little scared. Really? You, like, to me, are a, like, an anomaly. Like, you really, you're very intimidating. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. You would think that's nice. That's so funny. That's really sweet. It's Jackie Schimmel. I've replaced Jackie Ostray with Jackie Schimmel. I'm feeling very comfortable, very excited. A toast virgin.

I am. And let me tell you, my girlfriends are very excited about this. Oh, yeah. I've got some toasty, toasty girls. I love that. Yeah, they're very excited. You're kind of like the reigning LA queen of podcasting. So I think I'm the self-titled New York queen of podcasting.

1,000%. So it's nice to kind of have a bi-coastal moment. And you know what's really fun about us is that I feel like people in those sad toxic Facebook groups have pitted us against each other for years and always thought that we had beef oh like I've heard that before oh I was talking I was on Taylor Strecker's show and she was talking about how people thought you had beef with Taylor Strecker right yeah I loved that so much I fucking love Taylor Strecker. Me too. I love her. Well, we don't have beef.

We've only met one time. Oh my God. When we spent that weekend together, which was fabulous. It was, I mean, maybe fabulous for you. It's very triggering for me. Why? Okay, that influencer retreat, my one and only influencer retreat. I was really only invited because I think that I was like a conduit for other more influential

people to come. That's interesting. i was only invited literally the day before someone must have dropped out someone dropped out they were like do you want to go to la tomorrow i'm like no they're like well you're being paid i'm like i'll be there let me know when 100 let's go so i got like heather there oh i got heather mcmahon there and then i got morgan stewart there so you were very much like the like the communications person yes and i had the worst room in the whole spot. Oh my God. Literally.

That's funny. It's true. It was like by the custodial closet. And, you know, part of the thing when you go there is you're supposed to, you know, tag the brand and all the things. I had never done this before. I was kicked off Instagram three hours into that weekend. Oh, I do remember that.

For calling you and Morgan and Heather McMahon whores. Whores, yes, you know what? Dirty whores. It's all coming back to me now. I will say, I know there are a lot of influencer trips. That happened to be a particularly fabulous one. That was to die for. It was at the Nobu Hotel in Malibu,

which is like this gorgeous 12-room hotel, invite only. I stayed in a closet, but yes. The toilets were Tototo i was really hung over and i threw up in the toto did you we had like a private dinner at nobu it was really fabulous so fun and a fabulous group like you said morgan stewart heather me and you lauren elizabeth like it was a gorgeous crew it was a gorgeous crew so it was the first time we met yeah and then we like became instagram friends yes but we haven't met or hung out since then so when i was was coming to LA, I was like, I got to get that bitch on the podcast. Oh, I'm so glad you did.

We have so much in common. I think so too. Let me tell you why. Okay. We both like not ironically released music. Totally. I mean, I'm always like semi ironically, but that's okay. Mine was completely serious, which is incredibly sad.

That is to die for. Do you love to sing? No. I mean, I'm a terrible singer singer but i just thought it would be funny you know peak coronavirus lockdown living for nothing yeah why don't i drop a pop song like to me i look at your life and i would do anything to be married to someone who's like a professional music producer right that's his job title yes and he like has a full-blown like music studio yes you would never get me out of that studio i would make my husband make me songs like i would it would be 24 7 non-stop but like the problem with my husband is that he won't oh like he is so intimidated by my musical prowess

that's understandable that i mean i have begged really begged i think i'm dropping a hanukkah bop this year i love that idea let me know if you need a feature i will literally come to your house perfect fly to la i will do it 100 like a rap feature like i don't give a shit like i just i whenever i do like um shows i do comedy shows and i'm about to go on stage every single time i think to myself i would so much rather be on the stage for singing like I love to sing. Oh, my God. See, I don't love to sing, but I love the idea of being a pop star.

And I feel like I would fucking sell the shit out of it. You would. Am I allowed to cuss on here? It is encouraged. Thank God. I mean, you curse on your podcast. No, never. Yes.

Every other word is fuck. It's terrible. You are so funny. So I feel like we have a lot in common.? No, never. Yes. Every other word is fuck. It's terrible. It's awful. You are so funny. So I feel like we have a lot in common. Our love of music. Yes. Your name being Jackie, like I just feel like a kindred spirit.

Sisterly, yeah. And you just had a baby. And I obviously don't have any children, but I like- Do you want mine? No. He's kind of cute, but real annoying. But I like appropriate mom culture because I literally think I know everything about motherhood because of Jackie and my sister, Olivia.

You probably do. No, I know. I know more than the average woman who doesn't have children. OK. And so you're fresh, fresh out of motherhood, childbirth. How are you doing? I'm OK. I'm doing good.

Yesterday we had a beautiful day together. The day before, we did do a drive by of the local orphanage in Calabasas. I know exactly where it is and i'm thinking about getting like the google maps from our house to the orphanage framed gallery wall as a reminder in his nursery because there are days where i'm like i severely regret this decision really yeah if i'm being honest no that's i i have like a very complicated thought process and relationship yeah I definitely want to have children it's just a matter of when not if and I have a lot of anxiety about it especially

about the pregnancy so I know you had like a similar journey so hearing you being refreshingly honest is really it's comforting it is I will tell you I was so petrified of being pregnant like more so than anything in the entire world I could think of yeah and i don't know but mine was really lovely like i almost i regret saying this um enjoyed it no that like to me makes me sick because to me you're like similar to me and our extreme thoughts on it yeah so to hear you say that brings enormous comfort to someone like me for real and i think maybe a lot of people listening who are at the same age where it's like they're married and you know they know they want to have kids but like right now i don't know i know i felt that way i'm like what's the rush like my life is fucking awesome and then i was just prolonging it prolonging

it and finally one month i decided to placate that bastard and then boom here we are here we are mother of the year and your son's name is Clyde, which is so cute and different. I love, Jackie's obsessed with like baby names, especially for boys. It's very hard. So hard. What's the meaning? Well, we didn't have one at the beginning. We just like kind of thought it was cute.

And then we found out that it was a family name and a famous lion tamers name, which is like feels very. Leo. Leo adjacent. And his middle name is Lion. Clyde Lion. Oh oh that's so nice kind of rock starry motherhood really does suit you you think i do you should see me out in the wild with the kid you wouldn't say that i'm like can you please and i'm like burping him and his

like limbs are flailing everywhere and he can't lift his head up not a big tummy time gal working on it tummy time is warfare i look when i see it i'm like this is brutal it's awful neglect like it's so sad feels so wrong and i just i just avoided at all costs so he's kind of like wobbly in the neck but we're getting there he'll figure it out yeah i think so you're a working mom you are so busy and you were still gracious enough to bring me a gift here today yes and i mean it's a gift but it's also a threat kind of here's the thing i want to be very clear on your platform that i am not an air one girly like i am not someone it's not part of my like genetic makeup it's not a personality trait for me it's just convenient i'm a suburban air

one girl that's very different than the west hollywood air one girls you know uh i get in i like the buffalo cauliflower sue me so i watch your instagram stories and you're always eating in your car i love it and that's what you're eating sometimes i would say once to twice a week you will find me at the calabasas air one sitting in the parking lot eating by myself i saw beverly mitchell there this morning wow seventh heaven 7th Heaven queen. You don't understand. I started, like, my eyes started twitching. And I started full body sweats. And I was just patrolling the aisles with our smoothies, trying to make eye contact.

She could have a restraining order against me. I have a deep fixation with Beverly Mitchell. I have a deep fixation on 7th Heaven. Like, that show was so toxic. Was not OK in any way. And one of my favorite TikTokiktokers his name is rob he watches old episodes and then does like a two-minute recap of how insane there's an episode where jessica beal gets hooked god bless her she gets like addicted to like natural health

supplements that give her energy and she's on the basketball team and she's like up at 6 a.m like basketballing till 6 p.m just like sweating like, sweating out on the court on her drugs. They're acting like she's literally doing blow. And all the pastor dad has to, like, sit her down and take her to rehab. It's so stupid. I think I need to start Seventh Heaven over again. I think you do. Because I missed it.

I think you do. But you didn't watch it as a kid? Here and there. I was more of a Melrose Place girl. Oh, interesting. I was definitely more of a Seventh Heaven, even though I grew up in a deeply proud Jewish family. We were all watching Seventh Heaven. It probably only reinforced the Judaism, to be totally honest.

It was honestly a show that showcased allyship, but it's true as form. No, I love Beverly Mitchell. I don't know why. I'm so happy for you. She has this beautifully jovialvial broken energy on Instagram. There's an innocence there. But also a darkness. 100%.

I mean, she was on Seventh Heaven. I know. It's only right. She just counts down those days till Jessica Biel's birthday. As someone who lives in LA in like a cool neighborhood, do you see a lot of celebrities? I do. You do? Yeah.

I mean, I live in Kardashian land, essentially. So there is a lot of kardashian run-ins i mean beverly mitchell for me tops the tier of celebrity run-ins but i wouldn't say that i'm yeah i'm not like a mover and a shaker like that right but you're definitely not the type of person to like go up and ask someone for a photo i you're not claudia i would never although i would stock beverly mitchell at air one and you did if i had more time traffic was building i would have followed her i know you would through every fucking aisle and i did wait outside on the curb just to see because i knew that white yukon was hers i could feel it did you take a photo like a stalker photo lurking in the back or no photos? No, I did for sure.

Okay. You'll show me later. Yeah. I'll show you later. I was like, oh my God, Beverly Mitchell's here. Beverly Mitchell's here. But like foaming up. That's huge.

It's a really big deal for me. I could cry. No, you could do a whole podcast episode about it. I will. So you went to Erewhon for yourself and you were gracious enough to be like, hey, dirty, I'm going to Erewhon. Do you want anything? Not knowing I had never been.

It's so not me. Like everything I stand for is the antithesis of Er Juan, you know? My favorite thing about you thus far is that when we were at said Vital Proteins, oh, I don't do free plugs, but there you go. When we were at the Influencer Retreat, they were really hawking wellness, supplements, green juice. And we were not there for that. No, we ordered McDonald's from across the street fun fact

there is a mcdonald's across the street from this like number one hotel in the entire world yeah a beachfront mcdonald's we ordered it and the staff at the nobu hotel was kind enough to plate it for us but you spearheaded the movement i mean of course i'm a human being like i was like how the fuck did we get chicken nuggets on a plate on a plate and a diet coke in a glass in a fucking glass at this nobu hotel listen i was a woman with a dream and you sawed it through and i just i can't thank you enough so you've brought me here a smoothie so erwan is like a grocery store here in l.a for those who don't know and they're known for like their the juice bar kind of all of the things the smoothies are probably the main focus the main event you know the three

hundred dollar stupid ass smooth no how much was this i'll venmo you never um i believe it was nineteen dollars i don't believe you which is probably on the that's like the medium level price of an air one smoothie i ordered one one time i started doing substitutes they're like it's 32 i'm like you can go fuck yourself and is this considered like a meal replacement i don't think so people in la really need to get a grip like a 20 so and what's it you told me this is so they do like celebrity collabs all the time heber has one this is the hailey bieber that is the hailey bieber smoothie i have not personally tried this one so you're kind of strawberries strawberries there's like a coconut cloud thing collagen i have no idea breast milk no literally probably all right i'm gonna try it and this is absolutely

not a statement on hayley bieber herself no no it's just we all know I don't really like eat stuff like this. So let's go. Okay. Tasting notes. No. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Okay. But in no universe is this good. Okay.

Is no universe is this worth $19 let alone $1. Wait. Why? Is it too sweet? Is it not sweet enough? It's so like milky. I feel like I'm like sucking on an udder. I don't like that. It's really, it's fucking weird.

Is it like milkshake adjacent? If it was milkshake adjacent, it'd be finished. Okay. It's gross. Like I really can't describe it. Let me take one more. But also let me say it does taste like strawberries. Oh, well, I would fucking hope so. You know, like it is growing on me i don't know if it's the taste that's going on me or just like the label like i'm just an

arowana girly i'm skinny i mean you look cute you know with like my nude ensemble my chanel shoes my arowana you can't tell me shit right now no you can't so while i'm not loving the taste i am loving the sense of superiority it brings upon yeah do you feel like a veil has just been like lifted and you're just lighter and it's giving like holier than thou energy like i'm better than everyone because i eat arowan i'm intimidated by you now holding your fucking arowan smoothie without the arowan smoothie there's nothing even remotely intimidating about disagree claudia disagree i think that When I was fat There There's no other way to put it

I think that people were More intimidated by me I think that's like a thing People feel that like you're like aggressive I am so non-confrontational I'm lovely Lovely I think I am I really Am but I do people do tell me I'm like scary But I'm really not no I mean

I feel that way about myself I say all the time I'm low-key lovely and nobody believes it but if I keep saying it I hope it's true but do you really believe it yes you are lovely but you are scary that's so nice I think it's a good thing that means like you're accomplished or just like an evil bitch well potentially potentially but we'll see I don't think so so you're going to join me today for the past five stories can't wait what are you currently like fixating on in pop culture okay you love bravo are you watching new housewives of new york i am i am as well now i'm i'm disgruntled as a viewer so i live for vintage roni like there is nothing better in the universe than vintage roni and i think that like in the past few years we all decided that these women need to be our role models and like beacons of the community

yeah and that's not why we watch the real housewives very true we want them broken damaged toxic drinking no that's okay and it's not lovely, but it is true. Yeah, no, I was definitely critical of like the final seasons of the OG because it was just everyone drinking so much, having these blowout fights and not remembering it the next morning. So it was hard to follow. That's true. Yeah, I live for like the golden years of Roni, like the early seasons.

I like. Is that a buffalo coming down the stairs? Oh, Alex McCord. I think about her and her rosacea flare-ups every single day of my life. I think about her and her newfound happiness and life in Australia as a psychologist. I think about, to me, that is proof that you can come out of anything. Totally. And if Alex McCord was on Real Housewives of New York right now and all of this was happening,

they wouldn't have been able to get away with what they got away with. They literally just disliked her immediately because she lived in brooklyn and had like unrenovated baseboards well i think it was a little bit more than unrenovated her and her family were like we're living in a war zone it was insane during covid i remembered that and then during covid i went back and re-watched real housewives new york and the townhouse was worse than i remembered like it was and when jill goes to visit and she sees how they're living for the first time like she's horrified horrified and we're like bunk beds with like this the plastic storage bins under the bunk beds with all their clothing and then the grand reveal of the like

moulin rouge like red crushed velvet like black i'm like what the fuck happened and we we actually do have a lot in common with Simon Van Kampen. Cause he too released a song. I know. I am real. He is real. He was real for that. Fucking red pants.

Yep. Think about him every single day. So in the terms of the new Roni, like what's your general take? I'm two episodes behind, but I'm pretty, I'm, I'm in the know.

I've done a full one 80 on Jessel. You and everybody else. I know. I love that. I'm like, I'm the face of that movement. She just, Rolling Stone just did a huge feature on her. She looked fabulous. I mean, justice for Jessel. I agree. Because I went into that season and I was like this bitch and her husband and this. She was trying so hard with everyone. Too hard. But then, I mean, I think it speaks to human

nature and just like kind goodness. A hundred percent. That we all ended up rallying together and rooting for her. Because she's not a bad person. No. Her biggest crime was just like wanting to be liked too much. And that made her come off unlikable, ironically. Right, right. But she really, she's a nice girl.

And she doesn't like come for people. And she doesn't really start stuff. She just had a hard time, you know, showing us who she really is. Yeah. And now we see her. we love and we celebrate her. Yeah. And what's his face? Povit?

Povit. The mileage run thing to me is so funny because my sister Margo did a mileage run like last December, like a year ago to Boston. She needed like a hundred more miles, like something so small. Sure. You couldn't buy it. You had to be on a flight. So she's texting us.

I look, hey guys, I'm literally heading to the airport.'m going to boston i'm like excuse me we made fun of her and listen we still talk about it my sister every time jackie sees my sister margo she goes i think i'll go to boston it was the weirdest fucking thing but i understand it like i'm a big miles girl myself like i totally get it but like it was weird totally weird to vietnam it was weird. Totally weird. To Vietnam. It's weird. It's weird, but it's not a crime. No, it's not a crime. And they, I appreciate them. Okay.

So the new season, it's not giving me what I expect from Roni. It's fine. It's different. It's different. I partake. I'm very into Jenna Lyons. You are. That was going to be my next question.

I'm really not. I don't know why. She gives it nothing. Like no energy. I think I just like the outfits. Yes. The house. And the house.

Yes. That's it. I do like certain elements of her, but like as a housewife, she's not cutting it. Like we wouldn't expect this from any, she gets special treatment. She a hundred percent does.

And maybe I like that dynamic too. For sure. It's fucked up. It it is fucked up it's totally fucked up i think season two will be more interesting do you think they're gonna keep everyone because gentle lines was just on watch robbins live and her tone and andy's tone as well was very much like conclusive like this was a fun thing that we did really it didn't feel like there was a lot of potential for a future and she's very publicly like alienated herself from the bravo world she hates to be like referred to as a housewife because i get she's accomplished other things but understandable but like current era you're on roni so just lean in embrace embrace it um that would be i would be upset if they didn't bring it back for a season two i think everybody deserves a season two i'm sorry they were talking about like just jenna not

coming back. Not the entire show. Okay, okay. It sounded like Jenna's journey was over. It might be, but I would like to see her come back. Yeah. It's a good group. There's potential.

I'll say that. There's potential. And I think season one, they're being nice. They're doing the thing. They're integrating. And then I think season two will really see like maybe some more deeper relationships and shit will pop off. We have five five stories they're actually all really good stories sometimes when we wake up it's just like we're talking about the dumbest shit we just we have to try today we don't have

to try because you know things are popping off yes and i think it's because i'm in la so technically i'm like three hours behind i would be recording 9 a.m new york time so i have more time to find stories and there's a lot of things going on so i think i'm going dive in if that's okay with you Jackie please so Jackie before we start I just have one question are you ready for the past five stories that you need to know yes today's episode of the toast is brought to you by Lululemon Lululemon knows that it's sweater weather we're all wearing our finest leggings and the only place to go for leggings we all also know is Lululemon so they have so many different fabulous pairs of leggings whatever your leggings needs are so if you're like super active girly running around town jogging and stuff check out the fast and free leggings they're powered by the new lux

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It's limited time only and exclusions do apply. So take my advice because I'm kind of an expert on all things laying down. You know, that's kind of my my area of expertise. And I recommend Bowling Branch. And I have never steered you wrong. All right. First up, Britney's memoir is is out. OK, it's out.

I don't know. I spoke to you. OK, whatever. It's fine. Well, there are all these stories coming out. So either it's out or the excerpts are out. You know, they pitch the PR things. And she's talking about the infamous head shaving moment.

And she's revealing why she shaved her head in 2007. So after 16 years, Britney Spears has finally revealed why she infamously cut off all of her hair ahead of her conservatorship. She had said in her book, I'd been eyeballed so much growing up. I'd been looked up and down and had people telling me that they thought what they thought of my body since I was a teenager. Shaving my head and acting out were my ways of pushing back however Brittany notes that once her father Jamie Spears took control of her personal medical and financial affairs in 2008 she no longer had a say in her day-to-day life she said I was made to understand that those days were over now I had to grow up my hair get back into shape I had to go to bed early and take whatever medication they told me to take so this isn't necessarily

a bombshell I think we all if we had to you know think about it hard enough we would have predicted like this was her taking control of her body when so many things

were out of her control sure kind of like that episode of Lizzie McGuire where Miranda stops eating and she says you know my parents are getting divorced

so much is out of control but like the food and my weight is what I can control 1000% so I that resonated as a child of divorce with me I will

say that I have had many moments where I felt like shaving my own head of course it's so understandable like I here and there I'm like if I just had a buzzer I'd pull a fucking Britney I do often think about but more so for convenience like totally I was a man oh my god I would be the happiest man alive totally oh my god just free flowing in the wind and i just i could never be a woman who doesn't care about her hair because that's why do i have to be so extreme i don't have to become a man i just don't have to do my hair i can't i can't i can't my hair is my everything it's the most important thing in my life it is my uh trouble area you have oh you know what i love your saga on your um instagram about your hair

it's not great you would never know that your natural hair is so different from this you would die so you would die is that your jewish ancestry oh yeah and it's popping up hard it's very curly it is coarse it is curly it is similar to a brillillo pad mixed with like a pipe cleaner. Like if it was natural and I just like went like this, it would just stay up on its own. It would just fully stay. So do you do some sort of treatment for that? Just a lot of blow dries. Yeah.

Just a lot of, you know, grit. Yeah. A lot of friction. A lot of friction. My question about Britney Spears. I understand the shaving of the head. You know, she's taken back her control. What's going on now with the hair? That's an amazing question. I do have to assume it's some sort of aftermath of being forced to be on drugs you didn't need for so many years. The extensions. I'm well versed in the extension

world. Do you wear extensions? Oh, yeah. Oh, she does. Pounds of them. Just pulling up my scalp. Clip in or tape in? I don't. I've done them all.

Currently a sew in. Wow. Weft? Weft. Hmm. I like that. Lots of tracks. Got it. Yes, Britney's tracks are always showing.

Always showing. And I'm confused if there's like a bead if there's a keratin bond who who is doing this that's the thing i don't think anyone's doing it okay okay if i had to guess another big bombshell from the book that just came out is that she opened up that she and uh justin timberlake when they were together she'd gotten an abortion she said uh he wasn't ready to be a dad Wow Yeah Okay this is news to me I did not hear this

So I think they're really limited In how they can promote Britney's book Because she's not in any sort of condition To do a sit down interview Or go on the podcast round She's not going to do smart lists No So did you see that they're releasing

Crossroads in theaters They're re-releasing it No Isn't that like As a promotional thing for her book That is genius. And so I guess they're now releasing excerpts because they have to build hype for it. But they really can't.

They can't stand her on the road. And Michelle Williams from everything. I think of her from The Greatest Showman. Dawson's Creek? Yeah, sure. She is reading the audio book. Was she in Dawson's Creek? I have no fucking idea.

Dawson's Creek is another show that like similar to Gilmore Girls like is so my demographic and my era went completely over my head. I never got into it. Too woodsy for me. I do think I would like Gilmore Girls and me and Ben started to watch it

like a year ago. We watched the first episode and it cut to the theme song and Ben started singing it. I'm like how the fuck do you know this song? He's like I used to watch this show a lot with my sister.

I'm like oh okay freak. Like he knew everything already. I've never seen an episode. I had seen the first episode, and I'm sure it's good, but I just. It's no 7th Heaven. It's no 7th Heaven, and I didn't stick with it. Yeah, it didn't pull you in. It didn't.

But, so Michelle Williams is doing the audio book for it, because I guess Brittany also can't, like, you know, sit down. I recorded an audio book. It's actually, like, a lot of work, and it's horrible. Every time you mispronounce one word you have to start from the beginning it's horrible why does Michelle Williams need that gig why does Michelle Williams need that gig how do Michelle Williams and Britney Spears know one another is that just like an LA thing maybe it makes no sense maybe they came up at the same time maybe another thing about the book that

I just saw is that Christina Aguilera was on Jimmy Kimmel. And Jimmy Kimmel asked if she thinks she's going to be in the book. And she was like really weird about it. Making it seem like she hopes she's not. Because if it's in there, like whatever's going to be in there wouldn't be good. Oh, I love that. She was like really feeling awkward. And Jimmy like wasn't letting it go.

Even though, I mean, this is unpopular to say. Britney Spears makes me a little nervous. For sure. Like we're not supposed to say that. No, I think you can. People get really upset about the Britney Spears makes me a little nervous for sure like we're not supposed to say that no I think you can people get really upset about the Britney Spears of it all it's a it's definitely a very delicate corner of the internet and I have never been a part of the free Britney movement like I believed in her freedom I thought it was bad you know but like a little supervision is okay right no well so now I think what we're seeing is like when she had was put into a

conservatorship um maybe she wasn't a good candidate for it yeah but the person we're seeing is like when she had was put into a conservatorship um maybe she wasn't a good candidate for it yeah but the person we're seeing now like is actually the perfect candidate for a conservatorship but she has so many bad actors around her who could you possibly trust with that sort of power if you couldn't even trust her own father i will say that it gives me solace that she still has her travertine floors and not marble. Yes. It's a little slick. Well, and she's like always dancing around and sweating. She could slip and fracture her skull. But travertine has a grip.

I know you're remodeling your house. So you know what travertine is. What the fuck is travertine? Travertine is like, I'm really fixated on this. Your house is beautiful, by the way. Thank you. I love all the content. Thank you so much travertine is that like beigey bread colored kind of porous tile got it natural stone so it's

not slippery it's not it has some grit to it got it okay it's good if you have like children running around yeah got it so it's not like you're just shining marble or tile yes i understand okay very slick good that's very safe maybe that's why she's always dancing in that particular room i think so it's a good landing pad for her i would prefer a carpet that makes me feel a little bit better i see their living room has a sunken in living room because there's two steps that's dangerous too very dangerous there's actually been like a lot of brainy news her oldest son also just turned 18 so kevin federline is not qualified for child support anymore for that first kid. Wow.

Yeah. They still have the other one. But you're a real fucking journalist over there. Jesus Christ. Really not actually. And I'm not even heavily like invested in the Britney movement. Yeah. My younger sister Margo was like obsessed with Britney.

I wasn't like a big Britney girl. I just know because like I do the podcast. Right. And it's like really sad. But it also was very confusing it's super confusing because we all were like free Britney free Britney free Britney and then we freed her and we were like oh my god yikes yeah and so now seriously like as from a human perspective what do we do now kind of nothing right I guess we just buy the book and support totally because I think she also I'm when it comes to Britney my the most interesting part for me is her finances Because I don't think she has a lot

I don't think so either And like where did that money go And like what's happening So many people have their pockets in her hands I mean in her hands in their pockets Oh my god I can't fucking speak Had their hands in her pockets Yeah

For so many years that when she got out I think there was a lot less money And now she it's been like a year two years I don't even know She doesn't work Right She takes a lot less money. And now it's been like a year, two years. I don't even know. She doesn't work. Right. She takes a lot of trips on private jets. She has a big house.

Those things add up. 100%. Security. Hopefully that Crossroads reboot brings some money in. I'll be there. 100%. That movie left an indelible mark on me. I've started crimping my hair recently.

Going back to your roots. Yeah, exactly. I'm regressing. And I feel like maybe that is unintentionally inspired by Crossroads Britney. Didn't she have somewhat of a crimp towards the end? When she got more edgy and started performing in those clubs. She did sort of embrace the inner edgy queen.

Right. And she just kind of let it. And then she started dating that murderer. Right. Yes. And Kim Cattrall turned her away from her house in Arizona. That movie is amazing. My entire first comedy special is about that movie.

I absolutely love that movie. And there's so many interesting like references, pop culture references from that movie. Of course, Kim Cattrall, Taryn Manning, Zoe Saldana. I mean. I mean, of course, Britney Spears. It's it should be studied. It's the best movie. I have not seen it in so long and I'm going to rewatch it. I mean. I mean, of course, Britney Spears. It should be studied. It's the best movie. I have not seen it in so long and I'm going to rewatch it.

I would totally. We should go to the theaters and see it. I would love to. Are you ready for our next story? Some Housewives news. These are two people who aren't a part of the Housewives universe anymore, whom I would literally lay my life out on the line for. I am obsessed with The Beermans.

Did you watch Don't Be Tardy? Of course I did. Transfixed with the Beermans did you watch Don't Be Tardy of course I did transfixed for the Beermans that was in my opinion up there with the greatest of greats in terms of family like I think of it as just as good as Keeping Up With The Kardashians like family reality tv shows they were grossly under marketed yeah they were railroaded and hoodwinked yep but the fact that we got eight seasons of that show I never missed a minute it's and the final season when they were kind of like scrambling for viewership and they took an rv and like when i obsessed with the red cups love it the red cups and now in hindsight so much of what we saw on that show which we thought was funny like kim drinking a lot and gambling a

lot and like pulling over the rv to go to this like turnt reservation where they could go gambling and she was at the slots all of that was funny but now it's evidence right they are i think getting divorced what is going on they were and then they weren't and i forgot where we left off i think we left off that they weren't right i thought maybe they were reconciling or they called off the divorce right she needed to go to a facility of some sort and then there was like like a body cam footage when the police came into their home to break up like a domestic dispute yeah and now they are selling their iconic georgia mansion for six million dollars on the heels of their financial woes so in similar to britney these were two people whose

financial situation i was constantly thinking about. Every day. The net-a-porter delivery is. The bangles. The bangles. The Christmas tree decorations. That was like Kardashian level. Oh, yeah. The cars.

The cars for the kids, too. It wasn't adding up. No. The math wasn't mathing. No. So now they're selling their home. The estranged couple, according to Page Six, so I guess they aren't together. Yeah.

They have been living together amid their divorce. Listed the two-story, seven-bedroom, 11-bathroom brick and stone estate on Monday and almost double what it was listed for earlier this month. So the property was built. You know, you're into real estate now. Tell me if you think this is like a fair situation. Let me. The property was built in 2008. Okay. Five fireplaces, a six-car garage, a full back-in-law suite, a separated au pair suite,

a circular driveway, a chef's kitchen, and an oversized island, a full bar. An oversized island? Get out. A full-size bar, a wine cellar, multiple walk-in closets, an elevator, a finished basement, an in-ground trampoline, a billiards room, an arcade room, a movie theater, and a gym with private massage room. How many square feet it actually did not say because you know that's important it you know what it looks like a big

mansion but when you look at it a lot of it is garage i think it's important to note so they bought it in 2012 for 880 000 i know this that's insane okay i know this because I've been crunching numbers. Okay. So if they bought it in, when did you say 2007? 2008. 2008, okay. So that's like roughly what, 16 almost years ago, 15 years ago? Mm-hmm. For $880,000, and he was working, he was playing football at the time. Yes.

And she was very much so employed. Yes, no, they were financially well back then. So if they put the down payment let's call it 25 they needed to come up with let's be generous generous 250 yeah okay that means they only would owe 600 and something thousand dollars on the house over the last 15 years 15 years you don't need 18 matte black g wagons and 84 Cartier love bracelets it's true you need to pay your mortgage no it's true and you know what there was a high likelihood that they could have bought the house for cash right if he was in the NFL she was probably liquid from like Instagram and Real Housewives yeah they could have together come up with under a million dollars for sure and I wouldn't be surprised so now I mean how did they get the house so cheap and wasn't

there a whole storyline on Real Housewives of Atlanta that she rented her house yes but that's not true they called the cops yes on the landlord yes but then they were buying the house they were leasing to buy I don't really know. That feels slippery to me. To me, this whole situation is Housewives at its finest. 100%. Like a mansion that nobody knows where it came from. She by Chateau Charest. The cops are showing up.

I will say that also was one of my absolute favorite moments in Real Housewives of Atlanta. When everyone's homes were like up for criticism. And everyone's house, the Moore Manor, Chateau by Charest. When everyone's house had a name. The chateau by charrette when everyone's house had a name the doormat people were giving the doormat baseboards not finished basins to me that was peak comedy like it really was it's so niche and it's so petty and it makes me so happy like the real estate shaming but i just want to say so they're selling this house for six million dollars they bought it for 880 they won't get No. And two months ago, they were listing it for $3 million.

That, no. No. That doesn't flag. I'm not familiar with the housing market in Georgia. I'm pretty sure it doesn't double in a month. No, it doesn't double in a month. But this was a good investment for them. They should make money on this house.

Unless they owe so much on it, they're not going to make anything. Right, right. And it's just going to be collected by the courts. I don't own a house so i'm like very critical of people's you know finances and mortgages when i myself am a renter um but i'm just like the beauty of this whole situation i'm just like young young thin fruitful young girls like don't buy houses you drink air one smoothies exactly i love these two like i will be mourning The loss of this marriage for years To come I was shocked I was devastated yeah No do you remember express mile

Atlanta do you have any idea what I'm talking About no I don't it was a teeth whitening Company that like the beer men's were Always hawking yep I guess to me The mystery uh-huh Behind that whole company haunts Me to this day.

Yeah. Like, where did they go? What happened? And, like, how many people's teeth fell out? Like, I just. I know. What were they just, like. It was a light.

It was, like, an LED light that you would, like, shove in your mouth. With some bleach. And they were. With bleach. They were always hocking that shit on Instagram. And what happened to, like, the skincare and the beauty boxes? And the robes. And the robes. And the robes.

Yeah, they had kids clothing. They had kids clothing. It wasn't for lack of trying. They had an entrepreneurial spirit. Yeah, but something's got to stick. Yeah, no. And honestly, I think things like for the family really went downhill when Croy left the NFL.

Yeah. Like he was let go from, he played in Atlanta forever and he was like loved there and he wasn't amazing, but he was like a good steady player sure and then he got transferred whatever it's called traded to the bills in buffalo look at us talking sports the family didn't go with him they let him go to buffalo by himself and they're like well let's see if this works out and they dropped him so he just came back to atlanta so it was a good thing they didn't move yeah that was a dark time for the family and i do think it was the beginning of the end Yeah I think so I think you're right Okay our next story are two people

I'm just forced to keep talking about Every piece of information I receive About Jada and Will Smith is against my will Like I don't go searching for this I know But I will say I chose this as a story and then on my way here I was scrolling TikTok and I saw that she was on a podcast And I think a lot of the news stories that have come out this last week

Are headlines from that podcast And she was crying crying crying and I think a lot of the news stories that have come out this last week are headlines from that podcast and she was crying crying crying. No days off for Jada. I want to say like I actually felt bad for her. Oh really? Even though I'm so fatigued by this story like it didn't feel I know she's like an actress by trade. It didn't feel like she was acting but apparently they've

been separated for seven years. So she has a book coming out. So she's on a press tour and that's why we're still every day it's you know More Jada more Will So on paper Jada Pinkett And Will Smith Have been a Hollywood power couple

For nearly 25 years But in real life They apparently haven't been An actual couple since 2016 Jada told this to Hoda Kotb They did like a Today Show segment Yeah Excuse me Dateline

So in a preview for that The actress confirmed That she and Smith Have been living completely separate lives for seven years. They are still married, but not romantically involved. Here's the exchange with Hoda.

Hoda says, it was not a divorce on paper. Right. But it was a divorce. Jada, divorce. Oh, whoa. So asked what caused the marriage to fracture. She didn't answer explicitly,

but she does say that when Chris Rock stormed the stage and Will said, leave my wife's name out your fucking mouth, she was shocked, quote, really shocked to hear Smith refer to her as his wife, considering they hadn't called each other husband and wife in a very long time. But they're there as a couple. Yeah.

Keeping up appearances. Why are you there with him if you're not identifying as his wife, even just for the sake of seven years yeah she had that show red table talk where she talked about marriage and family she had the entanglement with that other guy august so was all that a lie like i'm so confused it is a foundation built on bullshit. It is. Now we don't trust Jada. Never will. We don't trust the Red Table. No, no.

The Table was a place for people to come together. Oh, I watched. When Jordan Woods was on, I watched. Same. I watched when Olivia Jade was on. Same. There was a lot of iconic pop culture moments. And then they franchised the show.

Gloria Estefan and her family, her mother and her daughter, got their own Red Table talk. Is it still going? No, because Facebook Watch as a network has mother and her daughter, got their own red table talk. Is it still going? No, because Facebook Watch as a network has been canceled. Okay, got it. But they tried. And I felt like, I feel we've all been duped by the red table. Because every time there was a problem with the Smith family, they took it to the table. Right, and it was like a place of honesty and transparency.

But you didn't want to say that you're not together for seven years? That's kind of a big one to hide, Jada. And I'm just fatigued. I'm exhausted by these people. Like it's so not a story. It's a story that never ends. Never. And I hate, me and Jackie say this a lot.

Like when celebrities have multiple documentaries. Yeah. And they say like, you know, the last documentary that wasn't the real me. Like I wasn't. I hate when people like do something and it's like this is the last documentary that wasn't the real me like i wasn't i hate when people like do something and it's like this is the truth this is who i am and then years later they're like actually no this is my truth now we don't trust you you're abusing consumerism you are you are abusing consumerism and that's how i feel here same couldn't agree more and her book um

is out and everyone go get a copy i think this is just the beginning right of stuff we're gonna hear but this was probably the biggest that's pretty wild it's also really wild that they cannot be spoken about without people bringing up the slap can i tell you something please andrew my husband's studio is shares a property line with the smith home wow yeah and when all this shit was going down there was helicopters oh my god i'm sure circling and he couldn't even like record because of the sounds blah blah blah a producer's nightmare oh truly meanwhile pop star at home couldn't you know finagle a song for me but that's okay um and they live so close and we i have never ever seen jada or will like

they don't leave their little compound is it huge yes i wouldn't leave it either they never leave i wouldn't you never see him coming you never see him leaving what's so funny is very weird whenever they the family is in the press which is a lot there's a new wave of people who are just now putting together that their children's being their children being named willow and jayden uh-huh is like a extrapolated version of will jada willow and jayden yeah people don't know that that's very dumb how do people not know that i can't lie like i didn't know i didn't know that either like people are so dumb i appreciate your honesty yeah it's true it's true these are two people i wish well i just really wish i didn't have to hear about it like there's a certain point

with celebrity and where you get to overexposure and i feel like we got there a really long time ago yeah oh we're done with the entanglement thing and the red table to me that was like this is far too much feel free to keep this to yourself like we we respect your privacy please keep it private yeah keep it private they refuse it's so interesting when people reach that level of success wouldn't the ultimate form of luxury be dimming the lights closing the curtains like they don't need she they are they don't need money like they're good her memoir will do well sure she doesn't need to bleed out for it they're good take the day take the year off so when people

are out here doing the most and they like need the money to pay their rent i respect it yeah tap dance honey if you're overexposing yourself with millions and millions and millions in the bank hundreds of millions yeah there's no excuse for that broken energy broken energy because this is a business i get that sure i respect it you don't need this no you don't need the relevance you don't need the cashish and honestly't need the Kashish. And honestly, I feel like it works against her. Because every time people get so fatigued by it, they're like, enough. Are they still Scientologists? Were they?

I believe so. I believe so. Oh. Unconfirmed, allegedly. What do I know? I believe so. I have a lot of thoughts on Scientology. So do I.

What are your thoughts? Not a fan. fan no of course not i'm following this saga so it's so dumb but this is like my corner of the internet okay so there was a girl on tiktok who like ate weird foods and like she blew up because everybody was like what the fuck are you eating okay and then of course likability is a prison they found out she's a scientologist there you go and now it it's like all the love she had received is being sent in equal amounts of hate. Right.

And I actually feel bad for her, but she is a Scientologist. I mean, it's kind of warranted. It's just crazy when people who aren't celebrities are Scientologists. I can't believe it. How do you get involved? Maybe you're like trying to meet.

I don't understand. You have to be in a very dark place who are like the most obviously we know tom cruise tom cruise we know formerly leah remini uh what's uh moss elizabeth moss from um handmaid's tale that's a shocker and in theory i it's hard for me because i love her in theory as an actress yes but now i don't trust her i can't support it i can't support her it's so terrible and toxic when you love someone and then you find out they're a Scientologist. I'm out. I just found out someone was a Scientologist.

But you know what? I need to start Googling things before I say them. So let me just. I just. Well, John Travolta, of course. He's also like a classic one. I feel like a lot of the backlash against Scientology falls on the hands of Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Yes.

Yeah, there were rumors. Okay, that Chloe Fineman from SNL was in Scientology. That would ruin my life. But they're not confirmed. And this article from MSN says maybe she's not. I hope not. If she is, she needs to keep that. She's suspected.

It's crazy how it's like an investigation a suspected she's suspected to be a second generation scientologist meaning she was born into the church i thought she was jewish i did too vitamin i would hope so i would hope so oh that's crazy good scientology is something i'll like never i'll never not watch a documentary about me too and I still don't get it me neither like the levels the clear clear what what do you mean clear the clear what does that mean when I go um on the last few times I've gone on tour I go to the Tampa area okay and there's a um a fabulous theater there in Clearwater okay that I've

played at twice that's literally around the corner from the Scientology headquarters Scientology is headquartered in Clearwater Florida the first time I went which was in 2018 there was like a couple people on the street walking around in like flight attendant uniforms and I was like what's that and people were like oh Scientology is based here it's really weird I went came back a few years later the town is completely completely desolate there are no people in town except the people who walk around in those uniforms it's insane both times i went i left that night it's so freaky and what's with the cruise ship i what goes on like what's with the cruise ship i don't know there's like a carnival

cruise with scientology i don't get it the levels the clear the l ron hubbard of it all so weird it's fascinating i know i'm just like completely confused and transfixed like i could understand because i'm like a person who's deeply um like i'm easily influenced and if i was you know becoming famous and living in la and all the other famous cool skinny people were doing this thing like i could totally see myself getting swept up and becoming like the number one scientist listen i bought 18 different merit eyeshadows yesterday because i saw them on tiktok i love merit really good yeah really nice very Yeah. Okay. So I understand being easily influenced and like taken in and you don't have friends and come here and your life will be better. You'll be, you know, dating Tom

Cruise. Right. Sure. Sure. But little something's not right. No. And that was such an interesting part of Stassi Schroeder's first book is that her and Jax like almost joined scientology when they first were living in la and they were really young so funny imagine stassi a scientologist i truly could see it i can see it all right i love that she would she would love that our next story is uh lance bass related were you an in sync or a backstreet boys you know what i was a spice girls yeah person like supported women in the industry women supporting women exactly thoughts on the the ideology of women supporting women i feel like women that feel the need to put like i feel like that whole notion and making that your brand in public means you probably don't support women and are you a woman who unequivocally supports no me neither no like

are you a bitch are Are you a Scientologist? Yeah, like, there are levels, okay? I don't care if you got a vagina or a penis. 100%. If you're an asshole, I don't fuck with you. This blanket requirement to support people because they're women, like, that's never gonna be me because I've met some women and they're horrible.

I always say, I ain't marching for you bitches. No, like, I need to know you before I support you. I don't just give away support. Yeah, that's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Like, I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page. Yeah, yeah, totally. Today's episode of The Toast is brought to you before I support you. I don't just give away support. Yeah, that's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Like, I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page. Yeah, yeah, totally. Today's episode of The Toast is brought to you by Drizzly.

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So Lance Bass is making news because he was at a football game. They put him on the Jumbotron, whatever the fuck it's called. And he had a sign. He made a sign. I guess he made it at home with a piece of paper. A little marker. A little marker. And it wrote, not Taylor Swift.

So when they put him on the screen, I don't think anybody thought it was going to be Taylor Swift. He held up his homemade sign that said not taylor swift he workshopped that so hard yeah it's a little like try hard it's just it's so sad on so many levels and i would like to deep dive it yeah and the preparation the preparation is really where you lose it okay so you like went to a cvs or a michael's got a little cardboard thing a sharpie got a sharpie maybe some glitter glue i'm not trying to stereotype i'm just saying there was probably some glitter glue and then thought what would be funny if they happen to put me on the screen because i'm lance bass right and then he workshopped the joke workshopped the bit probably asked a friend asked his husband they co-signed on the sentiment then he

packed the fucking poster true in like immerse the level of prep is disarming and then just waited looking at the screen foaming at the mouth to hold up that poster and like really land the plane terrible yeah it requires too much prep had he been on the screen and been like where's the taylor swift or like sure something sure sure the level of prep is concerning here dismal and it's just like this is what he wanted this page six article and he got it so i guess that's good and we're talking about it i did want to bring it up because i'm dying to know what your thoughts on taylor swift in general are and then as a you know current woman in music yeah right but with travis and everything but just at a glance what are your thoughts on taylor swift okay so i will say that um i'm a newfound swifty love probably in the past like couple years i've really found um a deep appreciation

for her songwriting skills as a songwriter yourself as a songwriter myself exactly and i do think that she is probably the greatest pop star of all time love agree it's just the truth it's the truth and you don't have to love the music or you don't have to love her whole environment community whatever you don't have to co-sign on that but facts are facts you have to respect it you have to respect it and she is the greatest to ever do it agree did you go to the heiress tour i did not oh you missed out i was like in diapers yeah oh right duh sorry way more i was like hemorrhaging so i couldn't go but beyonce i say you go to a concert um i went to the 1975 yes you did i did and what were your thoughts when he was dating taylor very briefly i liked it you did yes I

understand that um maybe to the naked eye he's problematic in nature but I think that that's intentional and it's actually not straightforward problematic I think it's art I think it's performance art it's performance art but he's on the right side of history I think so most of the time yeah and I just think he's very hot. Okay. So like I'm lost. In like a gerbily little way. So that's her aesthetic. Like skinny gerbily Brits. And so now it's so exciting for her fans.

He's kind of jacked. No he's not. I know. But like Travis. Okay. Now yeah. What are your thoughts? No.

No. He looks like someone that puts chips on a sandwich. He definitely does. And like eats like Cheetos and always has residential on the fingers. I do not think he's hot. That might be the hottest take you've ever had. I do not think he's hot. Nothing in life is guaranteed.

But like Travis Kelsey being hot is like a guarantee. First of all, let me just like build my case. Yeah, please. He had a reality dating show on the E! Network. I just recently rewatched it. Okay. Sahara Vagina. It was amazing.

Number two. He did, by the way, in his defense, recently speak on it. He said he was a rookie in the NFL. He got paid a lot of money. He was so excited. He ran through all of his money and he had no money. Okay. Do porn.

I don't care. Okay. That would be better. Do OnlyFans. I don't care. So I don't love that. Strike one. Strike two.

Strike two. The facial hair and designer track suits to me I actually I hear you I like it I think it's like a part of his like goofball vibe but he's like this rich talented goofball okay he was wearing a red Celine track suit like Jane Lynch from Glee very it's giving Sue Sylvester it was giving sue sylvester and i'm just not in to like that white jock guy i understand it's re it's like i can just tell he loves a sub sandwich with like and he puts barbecue chips on it no i do want to say like you bringing up sandwiches like i i get it and i love sandwiches no i know what you mean he definitely like i'll go to a

local italian deli and get fucking weird with sandwich he definitely celebrates like five dollar foot long season jimmy johns yeah no i get it i get it but i'm shocked that you don't find him attractive i do not find him attractive at all but you find maddie healy attractive i do you're fucking weird i'm disgusting disgusting like that makes no fucking sense that's completely backwards i know but there's something about i don't know i can't describe it okay it's like a raw feral energy no i understand i understand i just i don't know why i just expected you to like hate taylor swift well i wasn't in love with taylor swift probably a few years ago i was just like i don't get it it's overhyped and then it clicked for me what particular piece of music was it that did that for you um you know I really love lover I love that song I feel like not a lot

of people became Swifties because of lover I think in the grand scheme of her discography it wasn't a flop by any means but it was 1989 is ridiculously incredible it's the greatest work of it's the greatest modern pop work of art. I totally agree. And people didn't like Reputation. I fucked with Reputation pretty hard. I liked Reputation. I like everything she does.

So when I like something more, Reputation was not my favorite, but by no means did I dislike it. It just wasn't at the top of my list. And then when I was pregnant, I never listened to the 10 minute version of All Too Well. And I was going to the to the camera outlets to a restoration

hardware outlet to like look for a discount crib did you find one no i didn't and i put it on and i remember going down the incline and i was crying just headed to restoration i mean what a beautiful moment in time it's beautiful were you you were pregnant at the time oh yeah so and like regretting it yeah yeah yeah no that's a at the time oh yeah so and like regretting it yeah yeah yeah no that's a tough place to be in yeah i mean just thinking about it gets me misty and then i was like why am i trying to be cool and be a contrarian i think that was what was happening with me i love that you can own that i think i've definitely i've definitely been there with things before where like everybody likes something so i just immediately dislike it yeah and then i'm only denying myself that pleasure right there's a reason for a reason

yeah exactly that happens to me all the time like with reading really yeah you read that's adorable i read so much will you send me some books because i need to start reading because it's getting a little okay i'm going to tell you something that like people who don't read don't realize and it's going to blow your mind okay a lot A lot of the books that women our age read, and the books that go viral and books that everyone are talking about, are literally pornography. Yeah, no, I'm down. So I'll send you, if you want some, it's called SMUT. Okay, what does that stand for?

I can never remember. It's like sexually manipulating undertext or something. I don't know. Great. SMUT just means like a book is, you know, a romance novel where people be fucking, be fucking you know skanky hoes and there are there are smut books that are like some of the most incredible books you've ever read and they also happen to be pornographic send them i have a list okay it's kind of i've gotten a few girls into it and like they come to me for recommendations and and so we start easy the the gateway drug to smut is this book called it happened

one summer okay i do believe it's being made into a movie um start with that okay and then come to me and tell me you're not a changed woman after you read that i like psychological thriller porny okay so you would love an author called freedom mcfadden okay she herself is a psychologist and she writes short stories for her patients and she started publishing them on amazon kindle and she became i don't even know if she's a psychologist anymore she's the like one of the biggest authors in the world now perfect i want women snapping yeah oh oh my god yeah i feel like a lot of your interests would line up with different book genres i think so you should get into reading i'm gonna start start it happened

once out of the world over here you're seriously and i think um jackie really like always read but i think with like breastfeeding and like motherhood things like you have pockets of time where you just like laying you don't want to be on your phone because the baby's sleeping sure reading is perfect for that i feel like that's like my new frontier is being someone that reads no and then you similar with the arowant smoothie you become morally superior right can you imagine you saw me outside with my child reading a book reading and then the next time like you have someone on your podcast and they don't read like you can feel better than that person like i was reading this book last night no and i was i was reading this book last night

oh my god this could be good for me no and honestly it's really it's actually very good for like your mental health like just to not be on your phone all the time yeah i still am on my phone all the time sure just take little breaks i love that it's good so speaking of um the unwell our fifth and final story is about tom sandoval jackie where were you during the scandal i know exactly where i was okay i was at health nut in calabasas that's where the kardashians get their salads that's where they get their salads that they shake yes so i got an iced tea there and then i went to the east coast bagel next door because i was dying for a bagel with lox schmear i'm starving also pregnant and like you're not supposed to eat

lox while you're pregnant I could try me not giving a fuck about any of those roles didn't give a fuck I got a lox schmear I was eating my bagel outside I got a text message panic text message I believe it was from Heather McMahon actually okay and it was like a 9-1-1 just page six yes screenshot i was so verklempt that i went to throw away my bagel i threw away my purse oh in a disgusting trash can filled with cream cheese a patega oh did you fish it out of course i did i was like god is the bag okay it's okay it's a little rough but it's okay that's funny i was just i was like i gotta i gotta get to my car i gotta get on my phone i gotta call i gotta make calls like i was sweating panicking out of sorts out of sorts picked up the purse get in the car start phoning everybody i know with a pulse i was i was shaken yeah i was traumatized that wormy little fuck it was insane uh so to the point you know when you're reading something i feel

like we all experience when you're reading something i saw it because james posted a screenshot of the page six thing the second it came out okay and being like what the fuck he posted it in his feed and i follow him on instagram and i was with jackie and i was like you know when you read words and they don't process yes like you know what the word says but you don't know what the word means yes i was like wait tom affair with raquel for nine months or i was like it was just not adding it wasn't making sense it wasn't computing for no so now and all this has happened i'm sure you know tom sandoval is on this fx show that actually a lot of people really like it's called special forces yes where they take

like it's kind of like i'm a celebrity get me out of here beverly mitchell was on it she was on special forces or i'm a celebrity get me out of here i don't know okay i think special forces i'm a celebrity get me out of here was like the original version where they like took a bunch of reality stars heidi and spencer were on it and they threw them in the woods and gave them like nothing to survive so funny and so um it's this show where reality stars and different people jojo siwa was on it they go through like army training, like SEAL Team 6. Like how far could you make it? Yeah.

Going through like the worst of the worst army training. And Tom Sandoval is on it. And obviously everyone's talking about that. But they're talking about a particular moment from this week's episode where he's crying while taking a dump. I mean, nothing makes more sense. The Vanderpump Rules star recovers from an emotional challenge in Monday's episode by crying while pooping. He said, dude, that was so intense, man. He says in page six exclusive preview while seated in an outhouse, knowing that his castmate Bode Miller is standing nearby to listen.

He said, I'm laughing and crying at the same time while trying to shit. I feel so defeated out there. While the nature of the challenge is unknown the alpine ski racer consoles the bravo levity by saying that such a reaction was the whole point of it so he lets the camera in here i'll give you a visual he's quite literally screaming crying sweating throwing up on the toilet disgusting so he lets the camera into the outhouse and has this kind of breakdown on camera while shitting and i'd love to get your take on that jackie um is your full name jacqueline yes okay it is how's it spelled uh j-a-c-l-y-n okay i would just like to go on record and say that i think tom sandoval is the biggest pussy roaming the western hemisphere and i want to be

very clear that pussy is not derogatory towards women it's not it is uh derived from pus enamelis which means cowardly the more you know she reads i don't know do you just make that up i might have but i don't think so i feel like i researched this drunk one night when someone was like don't call men pussies because that's rude to our gender and i'm like i will tear your ass up yeah no take a pussy i will tear your pussy up okay mine's been torn up Yours is about to get torn up. How are you feeling? Pretty good. Okay, good.

Pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. For real. Yeah. I was like out of diapers in a week and a half. Look at you. I put a thong on.

Okay. Week two. I've never had a child and I still refuse to put a thong on. It was a bad decision. That's brave. It was a bad decision. Almost as brave as Tom Sandoval. So brave.

Shitting on the toilet so i feel like we've definitely hit a point because i think tom sandoval hasn't always will be like a very thirsty person and do anything for fame but there was probably a point in his life where he wouldn't have considered you know being filmed while taking a shit but i think things are so dire for him he needs you know the world's back on his side that he agreed to do this it's it's a sign he's just he's such an interesting character because on one hand he's so vulnerable and open and altruistic and you know giving and loving and artsy but he's also the dumbest person on television yeah like he is we could spin it and repackage it in any way that, you know.

We see fit. That we see fit. But he's a dumb fuck. Yeah. He's a wormy dumb fuck. And I do not like him. No, I don't think that's a crazy thing to say. I do not like him either.

And I actually feel like now that we're out of it. We're heightened. Emotions were so heightened when we were all going through Scandival. Yes. And watching the show and everything on social media. And now that we're out of it, I do feel still like this deep hatred for Tom Sandoval. But I feel this immense sadness for Raquel. Me too.

I think of her as like a victim in all of this. I do too. Even though she was like the perpetrator. Absolutely. But the beating that she took. Yeah. It was unfair. everyone from everybody they should all be minorly ashamed of themselves i agree like they took it too far towards the end

it was way too far it was uncomfortable to watch they were basically telling her at the reunion like to kill herself exactly you're a worthless human being nobody here likes you you're ugly yeah like just the worst things you can say to someone disgusting so and she's not was not able to benefit from this major scandal whatsoever like tom sandoval is on this show he is a podcast and he's doing a lot of things i believe he was just also on the mask singer oh god ariana of course is the media darling of the universe right every brand duracell bloomingdales everything and raquel is just at this facility and trying to keep her mental sanity in check obviously what she did is wrong wrong and you know morally not in line however the punishment that she had to endure

did not fit it fit the crime i completely agree yeah it was hard to watch yeah so now i look back on the scandal all time with like just kind of this like eerie sadness i know it feels like dark and haunting yeah it's not fun it's not fun it was like kind of fun when we were in it and now it's like damn no because there was it was at someone's expense exactly and we're good people and not the person who deserved it in my opinion no totally agree jackie schimmel you absolutely crushed the fast five stories i did i absolutely loved podcasting with you i can't wait to do it again me too and if anybody liked what they heard here check out the bitch bible also can you please bring back mind body no soul oh my god the little engine that couldn't it was it's my

best work so that was like a meditative podcast of course in an ironic way yeah satirical guided meditations the title was incredible mind body no soul i just burnt out too quickly i bit off more than i could chew i like that it exists that we can always go back to it and reference it and it's kind of funny that it was a flop was it um kind of it's so important viola davis said like you have to flop oh i'm in my flop era right now you have to flop. Oh, I'm in my flop era right now. You have to flop because you can't thrive unless you flopped. And you'll never know when you're doing well if you don't know when you've done bad. Yeah, I'm flipping and flopping all over the place.

I like it. It feels good. It's refreshing. So weekly podcast. Did you take any time off from your podcast after birth? No. A woman in business. I didn't.

I pre-recorded, so I wasn't putting out live episodes. But I think I only pre-recorded for two weeks, and I was back on it. That's insane. Yeah, it's like therapy. You know, it's fun. Of course. So check out the Bitch Bible. Follow Jackie on Instagram for all her motherhood things.

It's not your regular motherhood content. No, it is not. There's a lot of crying. Not for the easily offended. Not for the easily offended. I think that should be Today's episode title Disclaimer Yeah

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Bye That was very impressive Thank you