The Toast - PEOPLE's Ugliest Woman: Wednesday, May 1st, 2024

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

PEOPLE's Most Beautiful Issue (24:11)Jessica Simpson says it's easy to 'blow money' on vacation as Britney Spears drains $60M estate on getaways (Page Six) (34:58)Odell Beckham Jr. and Kim Kardashian's fling 'fizzled out' (Page Six) (42:32)Kyle Richards' daughter Farrah had $1M in goods, stepdad Mauricio Umansky's heirlooms stolen from Hollywood home (Page Six) (48:11)'Vanderpump Rules' pausing production, won't film this summer to give cast members a 'break' (Page Six) (54:11)Dear Toasters Advice Segment (1:05:07)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Toast and happy Wednesday! Feeling very humpy today. That's right, it is hump day. An amazing, sort of groundbreaking day here at the Toast and at weeks all around the country. It doesn't feel like a hump day. I know the facts and my feelings not aligning, but until you said that, I hadn't really realized

that it was the day of the hump. I guess because this week is just, it's scattered for me. And tomorrow's my husband's birthday. So I guess like that's hump day. So it's just like kind of ruining your week. No, because like that's the hump day of humping. Oh. Oh, Jacqueline Follet.

Okay, Follet. Just when you think you have me figured out. It's so true. She doesn't stop evolving. The evolution of Jacqueline Follet knows no bounds. Yeah, so the latter half of my week is busy. I got to do a spray tans. We ate my swirly this weekend.

We're doing a meet and greet in Austin. Oh, yeah. We're just kind of like booked in busy swirlies. So for the Austin girlies, Jackie and I are doing a Spritz meet and greet because Spritz just launched in Target, which is like so major for us. greet in Austin the media IRL we're just kind of like booked in busy swirlies so sorry Austin girlies Jackie and I are doing a Spritz meet and greet because Spritz just launched in Target which is like so major for us and we do meet and greets all the time but we've never done one at Target so we're gonna do it while we're in Austin right before our panel at Dear Media's event so we have such a fun weekend planned we're also going to a concert afterwards did I tell you that I got

us tickets to a concert yeah yeah I'm excited for. And I also am just catching up on some of the drama that we found ourselves in. Let's talk about it. And I'm feeling relief because yesterday, Claudia called me to say that people were theorizing that Kristen Cavallari and Justin Anderson were talking poorly of us on their podcast. So we went and we listened.

And it was about like, the episode was about pop culture. And then they just talked about how they don't like talking about pop culture and people who like make a living talking about pop culture, like yucky. There are these two sisters who just like. No, let me say something. Let me say something.

Like the descriptors that were given sisters who talk about pop culture, like literally there are no other sisters who talk about pop culture. I'm sorry. They're just aren't. When I listened to the clip, I was like, I feel in my heart that this isn't about us but I don't know who else it could possibly correct but I came away from it like just holding space for the fact that there's sister pop culture podcasters that I don't know that they are talking about because I didn't feel like that was

us especially because they were like they said such gross things about Kate Middleton which if you know me you know the only thing I said about Kate Middleton was like I'm waiting till Easter if I don't hear from the palace I don't believe you know aside from like being sisters and pop culture like nothing else was a descriptor of us he said these sisters are so dorky and honestly like once I heard that I'm like that's literally not us people there are valid criticisms of us like people say we're annoying vocal fry like I I can I know that that when someone's saying that I know that they're talking about me dorky like we are a lot of things you're quick we are not dorky so I I really thought in my soul it wasn't about us but I had to acknowledge that maybe it is because seriously who else could it

be and then this morning Justin Anderson on his Q&A cleared up that it's not about us. Claudia found that the page of the people that it certainly is about. Oh, I sent it to you. You did. I just saw it. It's about them. It's not about us. I feel good. Because like, I really like Justin and Kristen.

And that would have hurt. It's hard to have beef with someone when you're like, damn, I like you. Oh, yeah. That's like, that's happened to me. And it's like. Yeah, it's happened before. And it stinks. It does. Like when somebody hates you. And like and like honestly you know that they're so great that

you know when somebody hates you and you still like them you know yeah it's like okay well I still want to follow you yeah that's sorry for what happened talk to you later yeah so at least this wasn't that we've emerged we're good be free and also you know it just wasn't us it just wasn't us no factually it wasn't us and that's really good we we live to see another day we live to see another day I almost didn't live to see another day because after watching yesterday's episode and seeing my posture I was floored I never wanted to leave the house again I was literally like concaving into myself I don't know what I feel I need to be more conscious of my posture. I look like seriously like Nostradamus, you know?

What's that? The hunchback. The hunchback of Notre Dame. I was giving hunchback. Please keep me accountable. I will, but the way I see you is not the way that the camera sees you. And sometimes like I don't, the other day I didn't even see what pants you were wearing. And then I saw them in the episode and I was like oh I didn't realize she was wearing those

pants yeah that's a nice pair of pants yeah no I feel like for me personally like there's just nothing uglier than me slouching like it ruins my whole I spent so long getting ready today and if I'm just slouching it undoes it all and so I'm super conscious of my posture please hold me accountable as I said I'll try but I I like don't I have a different angle I have a different perch just keep me accountable okay happily you need to be held accountable and you'll stay accountable and I'll do better and I'll listen and I'll learn listen that's where you struggle big time I'm pretty much just learning. Okay, wait. I wanted to tell you that today is Wednesday and we have Dear Toasters

and we have an update from a two-year-old submission that took the community by storm. When this girl wrote in, people were freaking out. Do you remember that girl who her and her husband got a dog and the dog turned one years old

and she was like obviously gonna neuter the dog and the husband was like so against it to the point where he literally took the dog for a walk and came back without the dog and he was like hiding the dog yeah we have um a two-year update from that girl cool what you know what I'm gonna say okay I want to talk about something because I think a lot of people after we were talking on Monday about like the stories, or maybe it was even yesterday being like, please don't get rid of the fast five. We're literally not.

We just complain. Like the fast five is never going away. To your toasters is never going. It's never even. It's never even. It's not up for debate. It's not, it's not a consideration whatsoever to ever get rid of the fast five.

No. Or dear toasters. Like, sorry, Jackie, like it's not happening. no, or dear toasters. No, that's not what I was going to say either. What were you going to say past five no or dear toasters like sorry Jackie like it's not happening no or dear toasters no that's not what I was gonna say either what were you gonna say I was just gonna say like I just like don't have the energy for dear toasters today

the thing is is and and I watched Vanderpump Rules last night oh I watched Vanderpump Rules the two episodes I was missing out on and not the new one because I figured you weren't watching it because you were recording the redhead so I like was trying to like I literally had out on and not the new one because I figured you weren't watching it because you were recording the redhead. So I was trying to, I literally had the time and I didn't watch it, but I did watch our episode, which was really exciting because I have some thoughts about Lisa Vanderpump watching the toast.

They were like debating whether Jack called her superfluous or a prop. And in the clip that they played, he does call her a prop. If my memory serves me correctly, knowing how much I love the word superfluous I was actually the one who said Lisa was superfluous and that was at the time how I felt right but if he even agreed then he's saying then he's guilty by association yeah it's like there's no way that Lisa heard that episode of the toast on her own I feel like someone fed it to her and was like, here's what Jax is saying about you.

You should be mad at him. I just want to say, I'm like loving having these former castmates back on the show, like Brittany and Jax. Like from the second he, same way you went about Jax, he's a professional reality star. And the second he started filming,

he was starting fights, like obsessed. Yeah, yeah. So I am all caught up. I think next week is the finale this big San Fran Kyle Chan party okay I'm so glad you brought that up it's Kyle Chan and San Fran what like and by the way and if it's not the finale like if it should be I'm good on this season and I really want to get to the reunion which is making a lot of waves. I want to talk about Kyle Chan. Like who, who is Kyle? Like who did,

what body did Kyle Chan bury? That like every castmate is like, like why do I know the name of this random LA jewelry brand? Like they prop him up so much. It's a Kyle Chan, this Kyle Chan. Then I feel like all we talk about is Kyle Chan. I don't understand.

Like Christina, will you perform at my party? Like what is going on? Maybe he gives them free jewelry. I think maybe they invested in his company. Like, Chena, will you perform at my party? Like, what is going on? Maybe he gives them free jewelry. I think maybe they invested in his company, like for real, because they're acting like shareholders. Yeah, and that would explain where all the money went. People are starting to, and by people I mean Nick Vile,

because he talked about this on his podcast, and I saw it in a clip, and it's something that we've been saying. Like, the Vanderpump Rules cast members talking about how they have no money. Yeah. Like, where is the money? There's so much money that they've made that they can make. They've been on TV for so long.

And where did it go? And he was saying like, it's, you know, they obviously weren't financially responsible, but like, seriously, where did they even spend it? I don't see. They don't live lavishly. No, they don't drive insane cars carry insane bags like where is the money maybe they sunk it into bad investments like Bruno but that's something they should share with us because they're always like so true saying they can't afford this

they can't afford that and how is it that Tom Sandoval is the wealthiest man on the show that can just buy you out of this buy you out of that pay for Sheena when she's pregnant and unemployed but Sheena who's been on the show just as long as him doesn't have that that pay for Sheena when she's pregnant and unemployed but Sheena who's been on the show just as long as him doesn't have that money right like Sheena Tom Sandoval Katie are those the three like Tom Schwartz in the very first season wasn't like a full-time cast and neither was Ariana right so the three of them I there is no way they're making less than 30 or 40 thousand dollars an episode even oh way more than that, Turtle. No, no.

I think I had heard from somebody legitimate, and this was like four years ago, that they were making $30,000 an episode. So that was like, but I don't know if they've had a contract renegotiation since Scandal Hall. That seems so low. I was going to say $250,000 an episode.

No fucking way. I think probably now it's $50,000. I'm going to say $100,000 an episode. I think they're it's 50 I'm gonna say a hundred grand an episode I think they're making just over a million a season yeah for 10 years on reality tv yeah I don't know because no you have to think about how like there was a time a couple of years ago where like the show was kind of in a lull and they were probably just like taking what they could get and that's the contract they're working off of I don't know if they're I don't believe their contracts have come up since scandal all happened which sucks because don't know if they're, I don't believe their contracts have come up since Scandaval happened, which sucks.

Cause if it literally, if they all had contract negotiations. No, but even before Scandaval, the show was in a low. Okay, that doesn't mean they got pay cuts. They're still on the up, up, up, up. I don't know. I actually don't know about that.

I think they're making a lot of money from the show. And it's not like Sheena lives ever in a crazy house. I know she had to give half her money to Shea. So's not like Sheena lives ever in a crazy house I know she had to give half her money to Shay so that definitely like oh right set her back but Katie Maloney I guess she doesn't like talk about the fact that she doesn't have enough money okay so that makes sense that then Tom Sandoval is the wealthiest it does because also Tom Sandoval didn't go through a divorce Katie did Sheena did not Tom Sandoval it does make sense why why he's. But yeah, it's also, it's like tiny violins. Like I can't keep hearing about these people's money problems.

When you open your Instagram, they have like a million podcasts, a million brand deals. It's like enough. No, and it's like if you want to make more money, like you could do more work. There's plenty of opportunities. Yeah. But so I'm not fully caught up on.

But if next week is the finale, I will fully catch up. And you're right. I do just want to get to the reunion. Yeah. Because I keep seeing stuff very titillating. And like this episode, you know, whatever.

Yeah. It was whatever. So anyways, all that to say, like I'm, I was going to recap banner pump rules, which pushes dear toasters off a bit. But what I also did last night was record the redheads,

which this might be my favorite episode of the redheads of all time. Laughing so hard. It was just, it was cathartic after reading a really bad book. Like for sure. Whenever we have a book club, like in real life and the book sucks, it's like the best meetings.

Cause it's like, we're just laughing about how stupid it was. Yeah. And it's like, I felt like rewarded for finishing the book that we could have that conversation it was so funny and all of us were just like picking out the parts that stood out to us for being the dumbest oh my god we were wheezing so that episode drops tomorrow and I'm really really excited for that everything's coming up redheads ain't that the truth I can't believe there are people out there

who think it's pronounced readheads like like I get it because like read and read are spelled the same but like don't be dumb no yeah just take it like one step further yeah just keep thinking keep thinking what's also exciting is that today is May 1st happy May oh I feel like while you were focusing on the fact that it's Wednesday I was focusing on the fact that it's May yeah you're right and please like anyone who sends me it's gonna be May meme like you are seriously being blocked people I know personally like there's a few like there are a few things that happen in meme culture in the meme calendar April 25th it's not too hot it's not too cold all you need is a light jacket everybody posts that Miss Congeniality thing October 3rd on October 30 asked me what day it was I told him it's October 3rd May 1st it's not too hot, it's not too cold. All you need is a light jacket. Everybody posts that Miss Congeniality thing. October 3rd, on October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

I told him it was October 3rd. May 1st, it's gonna be May. Wake me up when September ends. That is, to me, like the lowest form of comedy. And I used to participate in it. The people who haven't evolved past that type of humor, I can't. I think it brings us together. It's gonna be May.

Dana is someone who really participates in a couple. Not all of them. She doesn't participate in May, October 3rd, or April 25th. But she does Wake Me Up When September Ends. Yeah. And then October 1st. Nobody woke me up. And of course, April 1st.

Of course, April 1st. And then also Pi Day, 3.14. Yeah. And then her birthday. Those are the big days of the year for her. Well, I would hope her then also Pi Day, 3.14. Yeah. And then her birthday. Those are the big days of the year for her. Well, I would hope her birthday would be one of them. Oh, Dana is like crazy, saucy season one about her birthday. Yeah, she is.

Yeah, it's so out of character. I know, because she's not like an attention-seeking whore. No, but I think it has more to do with her love for astrology, which is also out of character for such a learned girl okay but she's like really like no yeah she's not like Ali but like she needs to know everyone's horoscope just to kind of put them in a box and understand them I just want to say like the Vanderpump Rules producers are so shady with like every time they film at James and Ali's house like showing the airplane above and I just want

to say like it is really weird to live five minutes from the airport like when you make a lot of money like that's not like really where people if you have choices where you would choose to live it's very bizarre and also like which airport because they live near LAX that means they're like over an hour away from everyone I don't I really don't understand that house thing but like they're obviously so they're so proud to be homeowners and it's like such an accomplishment to buy a home and they're so proud of the outside they keep filming there they keep hosting there like they obviously love it and like the way the producers are not letting anyone forget that they live by the airport is like actually nasty

no it's really true it ain't right we got it yeah yeah also did you see used to it but it's it's funny you get used to anything like Ali, like, she grew up near an airport. So this is, like, nothing to do with her genes. It's different. But, like, you don't even realize how much sound you live with every day. And I guess if someone who comes from a quiet place lived where you live, they would be, like, how do you live like this? That is true.

That is true. Did you also see James Kennedy DJ'd at Stagecoach? Like, kind of majorly at the Diplo Honky Tonk? Yeah. I love that. Everything's, like, kind majorly at the Diplo Honky Tonk. Yeah. I love that. He's, everything's like kind of coming up DJ James Kennedy. As it should. He's one of my faves.

Did you feel like this year Stagecoach is bigger than Coachella? No, but I felt like for the first year they were definitely on the same level. I really feel like it was bigger. Well, I guess I follow more people, more people that I follow went to stagecoach than Coachella is how I feel same but I do think that might be like an us thing but like if you know the landscape and you know like how many influencers get paid to go to Coachella how many brands go how many brands throw parties and then if you if you went to

stagecoach like a couple of years ago there's none of that there's no like revolve parties there's no nothing there's no house and this year I saw like a couple of pretty decent brands Tarte cosmetics was there like a couple of big brands I think Revolve also did something little like yeah people are now allotting I think some of their Coachella budget to the stagecoach budget which is so crazy that means it's going to get ruined soon but it's interesting to note I agree yeah it felt really big this year which I'm happy do you feel protective over stagecoach a thousand percent us graves like you guys weren't here yeah a thousand percent no brands and there was no money to be made and you actually spent your own money oh thousands yeah no I do yeah I guess I feel that way too yeah do you guys even know country music right like don't don't come for me if you don't know snitch

10 penny okay like yeah you know some of us are deep yeah some of us have been deep some of us have respect for alan jackson and some of us don't us don't and that's okay and that's okay so we've got a great show i feel like we should dive in because we've got some things to uh attend to if you will we do so without further ado here are the fast five stories that you need to know and the fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Booking.com offers so many possibilities across the U.S. for all travelers and whatever traveler you want to be.

From relaxing beach resorts to remote mountain cabins, the multitude of choices across the U.S. on Booking.com allows you to book whoever you want to be. We are definitely different versions of ourselves depending on where we're traveling to. Like if we're on an island, we're very much on island time. We're relaxed, just having, you know, a rum on the beach. Also, what I really like about Booking.com is how many options there are to travel within the country. Like sometimes you just don't want to leave the country. It's too much work, customs, passport. And I like that Booking.com has so many different ideas. If you're looking for inspo and you want to stay within the country, and a lot of people when they're planning their

bachelor or bachelorette parties don't want to make people leave the country, but you feel like limited in what you can do, Booking.com is a great place to go for inspo as well. So this spring, check out Booking.com for your ideal hotel or vacation, no matter where you're going in the US. We are actually planning a summer trip right now, and Booking.com has been amazing for that too. And I just feel like with all these things coming up, summer's coming up, like plan the trips now so that you're not like left behind. You're not being like scrambling for the weekend. Like, oh, like what should we do? Plan a nice weekend getaway with the girlies. Do it at booking.com. You can book and become whoever you want to be on booking.com, booking.yeah. Today's episode is also brought to

you by saks.com. Jackie and I are saying yes to the warm weather this year, and that means we're stepping up our wardrobes with the help of Saks.com. I feel like everyone's talking about everything they have going on this summer. Weddings, business trips, work trips, travel. And it's really overwhelming when you think about all the things you have to do, because if you don't know what you're going to wear, you just kind of feel dreadful. But until you have your outfits on lock, then you can feel excited. And Saks.com, placing an order is so easy. It's so fabulous.

And then you can finally start looking forward to all the fun things you have planned this summer. So everybody knows that Saks.com is a place to shop. They make it easy to get a jump into spring and summer fashion trends as we're approaching the warmer season. So like we were just saying, you want to be the coolest looking girl at Stagecoach? Need new boots? Head to Saks.com. Headed to an impromptu trip to St. Barts with your lesbian friends? Beachwear to Saks.com. Headed to an impromptu trip to St. Barts with your lesbian friends? Beachwear from Saks.com. Or are you running a 5K that everyone's like kind of applauding you for, but also silencing you for? You can shop activewear at Saks.com as well. They've got it all. It's super fun and easy to shop on brands we love like Staud, Lueve,

Favorite Daughter. They also do a great job of finding up and coming designers so you can hop onto the new trends before everyone else. With different curated shops like Spring Wedding Guest, It Girl Closet, Designer Shop, and Date Night, Saks.com makes it easy for you to find exactly what you're looking for. You can find anything from a cozy vibe to a more elevated look at Saks.com. So discover new ways to shop for everything every day at Saks.com. It couldn't be easier to sort. It can be overwhelming to shop online, especially with such a big store. Saks totally gets it and they have amazing edits, amazing filters. You'll be easier to sort. It can be overwhelming to shop online, especially with such a big store. Saks totally gets it, and they have amazing edits, amazing filters. You'll be able to find exactly what you need at saks.com.

That's S-A-K-S dot com. Today's episode is also brought to you by Urban Stems, a nationwide floral delivery company, and they're asking you to leave moms alone this Mother's Day, because what do moms really want? Just some peace and quiet, and maybe some flowers. So Urban Stems' Mother's Day collection is thoughtfully curated to give mom the cherished gift of alone time. Unlike many of their flower competitors, every bouquet is designed in-house and on trend

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Give mom her flowers and leave her alone. Let her enjoy a moment of uninterrupted tranquility. Reminder that Mother's Day is coming up on Sunday, May 12th. You can visit urbanstems.com slash toast to see some of our top picks for our favorite bouquets, our favorite designs that we think will really impress and maybe perhaps make you the favorite daughter, daughter. Just be sure to order in time by using code TOAST for 15% off your purchase. Again, that's code TOAST, 15% off your purchase. And just make sure you'll be Teresa Giudice's favorite daughter this Mother's Day by going

to urbanstems.com and using code TOAST, urbanstems.com slash toast, code TOAST for 15% off. Thank you, La la you're welcome speaking of our favorite sponsors spritz society major news coming out of spritz society which is at pickles spritz our collaboration with klaus and pickles pickle spritz is back on spritz society.com available to shop now it's giving restock it's giving drink of the summer it is giving drink of the summer so what's exciting for me is that I kind of missed out on all the pickle excitement because I was pregnant and I got I have some like in my house still but now I get to drink it like with everyone you don't have to like hide it yeah and make people jealous like oh I'm drinking this spritz that you can't have. Is there anything worse than that?

And I'm pretty sure Code Toast is always and forever active at Spritz Society.com. So don't forget. It better be. Don't forget the discounts. There'll be mutiny. There'll be hell to pay. Yeah.

I'll storm Spritz HQ. Spritz Society.com. Get your pickle. Oh, Sunday night. Oh my God. Speaking of sports, I totally forgot to tell you this. So the Knicks are like like, pretty good this season. And I know that because Ben is obsessed with the Knicks lifelong.

And, like, I've been getting into it because, like, they're actually, like, not embarrassing. So it's the first round of the playoffs. They're, like, obviously going to win. They're the number two seed. And they're playing the number seven. Like, Philly. Two is smaller than seven, you know? Who won last night?

Okay. So it was, I think three zero in the series you have to win four games okay Philly has won the last two games and the Knicks like literally just needed to win one more game they've lost two games in a row so not to be three two not to be a conspiracy theorist but the way I feel about that is like why would they have four games when they could have seven and sell ads against seven games as opposed to four oh wow oh wow not to say the whole thing is scripted but seriously that financially that doesn't make sense it's millions of dollars on the table okay

but the thing is is that like the Knicks okay so they let Philly win one game it was at home in Philly last night they came back to New York obviously they were going to win and go to the playoffs like no they lost again and now the next game is in Philly and I feel like they could lose again and now I have to go to Philly tomorrow like literally spend four hours in the car with Ben he bought tickets the second the game he was like they're gonna go up they're gonna go up I was like okay okay oh I didn't realize this was affecting you on a personal level I only bring up things on the show that affect me in a personal way well I already thought it was affecting you you know because your husband's watching but not because you have to go to Philly no no I'd say like cancel dinner with my high school friends

and go to Philly like how stupid no that's seriously insane last night on the redheads was getting a little contentious because Dana is a lifelong Knicks fan like absolutely loves the Knicks and Rebecca is a Philly swirly so they were kind of butting heads. No, it's been really awkward with Taylor Donahue and Ben. Like two, same energy. Aco taco. So I'm ready for the series to be over because it's kind of ruining my life. And by osmosis, ruining mine because I feel Turdy's energy. Yep.

You know, and I take that on as the empath that I am. Of course. So. Just a little bit about me. We stand with Turdy, all that to say. Our first story in some PR puff piece of the day. People's most beautiful issue has arrived. Oh.

They're still doing that. So the female version of Sexiest Man Alive is called The Beautiful Issue by People and their beautiful woman. Let me think.

Let me think. The shoes for the beautiful woman belong to. Somebody lied to her several times and told her she was fly, hot,

and sexy and beautiful and she's nothing like that. She's nothing of the sort. Pretty much, I would let Gemma know that she is a fat cunt and the shoes that she gave me were not type of shoes that I would wear. They were old maiden type of shoes. And she said that those shoes were meant to be worn on a beautiful woman.

So if that's the case, she should have put them back on the rack because she was unqualified to own those shoes. And I think Gemma's just a disgrace. She's a disgrace to women who are actually beautiful. Who is people's most beautiful woman? They always make it an older woman because they're afraid of being called ageist. Check. And who's someone who's obviously doing press right now?

Is it Anne Hathaway? No, but that would be a really good guess. I haven't seen this person doing a lot of press she's always around if I gave you enough guesses I think you would guess it okay but are we gonna sit here all day no you can tell me who it is okay most well actually sorry they don't say most beautiful I feel like the language around their beautiful issue is incredibly tight. Sensitive. I want to see the way that they call her. All right, please just tell me who it is, though.

Beautiful issue, beautiful woman, Sofia Vergara. Oh, well, she is a beautiful woman. Yeah, no lie. No lies detected. No lies detected, exactly. And I feel like there's tracks, like knowing who they've had in the past. Of course, I need to now pull up a list of people's most beautiful women throughout history

and famous couples throughout history. I do like that they always make it an older woman. Like, you know, Hollywood and the tabloids and magazines. It's a young girl's game. You know, Maxim Hot 100. Like, it's really. So I appreciate. I appreciate that.

I do. So are you ready to hear historically who the most beautiful have been? Julia Roberts, Julia Roberts, Julia Roberts. It's always Julia Roberts. Yeah, it really is. I wonder why she got snubbed this year. And they haven't done it since 2022 when it was Helen Mirren. Okay.

2021, Chrissy Teigen. Okay. 2020, it was Kate Hudson, Kate Hudson's daughter, Ronnie Rose, and her mom, Goldie Hawn. Love that. So it was like generational beauty. Multi-generational. I like that.

Me too. 2019, Jennifer Garner. Classic. Classic. 2018, Pink. Obsessed. 2017, Julia Roberts. Do you think that there are actresseses out there who like haven't gotten

it and it's their Roman Empire like why haven't I gotten it like it's such a classic I feel like they rotate the same couple of people like no hate no shade to people magazine but no I don't think that anyone is kept up at night trying to get this award and if they are like that's incredibly loser-y I don't disagree happy for Sofia Vergara you know it's not like a really kind of hot take yeah she's a beautiful woman you know yeah and like even if she weren't no one's gonna say it's funny no one's gonna say yet oddly with sexiest man alive every year people are disappointed like he's not sexy yeah this guy's sexier and it's like it should have been this person like if anybody did that about people's most beautiful woman like seriously jail do you also feel like it's a weird thing that they do

like when you just boil it down yeah it's hot it's the hot list right yeah no it's giving like like all those um like collegiate remember like sydney white or not yeah and sydney white where she was like number two and then she was number one like it's weird yeah well they also have a list of beauties of the year in 2020 they're like beauties with yellow hair beauties with dogs beauties yeah we work in cooking this list is from oscar winners to a basketball sensation these stars triggered all the feels. Yikes. Who is this for?

Maybe it's time to let AI do the writing. I don't disagree. I think that's really AI's best use, I feel. It's like writing nonsense jargon. Yeah, copywriting. Copy that like really nobody reads, but if you were to read it, it would be fine. Yeah, and that, what I just read, which I probably wasn't going to read but i was just trying to explain what i was about

to get into that wasn't fine what i just read i just want you to know agree and i actually hope that it was ai no there's authors here there's names i'm skipping over to the list are you ready for a batch of beauties a batch of beauties one emily of beauties. One, Emily Blunt. She is quite beautiful. Two, Emma Stone. Also beautiful. Stunning. Three, Ariana Grande.

Gorge. Four, Julianne Moore. Ugly. No, I'm kidding. Like, what are we supposed to say? Five, Jodie Foster. Gorge. Like, what?

Six, Annette Bening. Beautiful. Seven, Sydney Sweeney. By the way, is there a black person on this list? Oh, eight, Lindsay Lohan. Nine, Kristen Stewart. Ten, Devine Joy Randolph. So yes, there's one.

That's just interesting. Eleven, Caitlin Clark. Okay. Twelve, Lily Glad Clark. Okay. 12, Lily Gladstone. Okay. It's just like, here's a list of women who are popular this year. Like, the list makes no sense.

Like, everyone's beautiful. No, this is some serious nonsense. And also, like, here's what's not being said. There are women, you know, beauty is subjective, of course. But like, and I'm'm sure everyone has their own opinion but there are women who are more beautiful than others like I would say you know a celebrity a is more beautiful than somebody that would be my opinion and you wouldn't even say a name because like she doesn't want to go to jail either no of course not but like I don't know it's just it's just giving like we're all winners, you know? Yeah. Seriously. What's the point of this issue?

It's like, they can't even talk about like, listen, I'm going to read the paragraph. That is the top of the article before they get into each person, whether they're winning Oscars or conquering the court, our roundup of the awesome women who inspired us this year proves that beauty comes in many forms.

Read on for the stars who staged incredible comebacks, set records, excelled in their fields, and were just downright radiant inside and out. Okay, saying like beauty comes in all different shapes, what did they say? No, they didn't say shapes. They wouldn't ever. Right, that's not an approved word.

Many forms. It's just, it's giving like, get ugly. Literally, if somebody wrote that about me, I'm like, oh, so you think I'm ugly I'm ugly yeah no I feel like the language around this maybe like back in the day in the 90s which is like she's beautiful she's radiant every man wants her every it would have been fine to be here it would it was probably fine then and they were saying something and now it's just like we don't know how to talk about a woman's physical appearance. No.

However, we're going to do an entire issue about it. Jackie, I feel like they also don't know how to stop doing this. Like it was really popular in the 90s. And then it's like became something that's like kind of not okay. But then if they stop doing it, it's like, what? So you don't think women are beautiful? Like they literally, it's a hamster wheel. They don't know how to stop.

Yeah. And they couldn't stop this without stopping Sexiest Man Alive. And clearly they're struggling because they didn't even have someone last year. Yeah. But it's like, because we're no longer objectifying women, but we are still objectifying men. Right. But then if you take away the most beautiful issue,

well, it's like, well, then only the men get an issue. We're kind of, it's a catch-22. Yeah, I don't like it, I just want to say. However, I feel for People Magazine and this conundrum they found themselves in. This hamster wheel. They can't get off of. And so they will forever be just choosing beautiful women and just women because all women are beautiful.

No, well, jail. You want jail? Lock her up. Get the handcuffs. Take her away, boys.

No, everyone is beautiful for sure. Period. Period. Now, take her away boys no everyone is beautiful for sure period period now there are a couple lists that come out every year and I feel like when they come out it's like a big deal here at the show like the Forbes list and this is one that we talk about every year and I just want to say like I'd like to stop like I don't like it I don't like the list itself but I like contextualizing the list in the greater conversation of. Actually, though, I do like the men list because I can be like completely honest. I can be like, he's ugly. Yeah.

No, that's what I'm saying. Even the copy for the men's list is probably like the sizzling abs. And, you know. Yeah. Hunker, hunker, burning love. Literally. So we're stuck. And what do you think is the way forward i think we need i think we should keep the most beautiful list but i think

i think they need to go all in how so like hot or not let's rank them oh wow yeah like yik yak what was that like app like people used to use in college like uh college acb so yeah like yik yak what was that like app like people used to use in college like uh college acb so yeah like shit like that that was like a discussion board forum spring yeah stuff like that yeah we should have the yet ugly list yeah that list would be so long though yeah just pictures like me you me you me you oh my god literally no no beautiful it would be people who are like yeah they're yet ugly list because really everyone is beautiful like beauty

really truly is subjective but it would be people who are ugly on the inside yeah because for me when someone's ugly on the inside they become ugly on the outside I actually really like that about myself like I really don't care about physical looks like once I know you you only look like who you are I completely agree like you to me your outsides are reflective serious like but actually in a literal way of your inside so like if you're amazing and I love your personality like I will think you're hot if you're dreadful I don't care how like you know traditionally good looking you would be you're heinous to me and I can't get away from you fast enough no like in a genuine way not just saying it not just saying that like seriously like people I

think like someone who I would find really handsome because of their personality someone might say like he's you know ugly yeah or when like a friend is like dating someone that she likes and she'll be like but I'm not like so attracted he's not the most handsome I'm like but you like him wait like you you are what you Yeah, like that's incongruous to me. Yeah, I agree. So my list would be yet ugly on the inside. I love that. Let's get to work.

People's most yet ugly. Are you ready for our next story? Switching gears to one pop icon giving advice to another. So there has been much of people talking about Britney Spears as she spends a lot of money, and people are concerned that she's draining her $60 million estate on getaways. And Jessica Simpson was spotted by TMZ and asked about Britney's alleged spending problems while leaving LAX.

So Jessica Simpson said this, you can blow all your money on vacation if you're not careful but memories are worth more yeah like she didn't want to like be shady um but she also was kind of speaking from a similar experience you know she was like one of those teen and obviously the way her pop star career and just career in general turned out was totally different but um and now she's literally a billionaire the two couldn't be more different but it is interesting that, because I feel like we've been saying for a long time,

the Britney money thing. Like everyone was talking about free money. I'm like, what about the finances? And also the fact that her estate was $60 million, like feels so low to me. As we've discussed via the Forbes list, making music isn't going to make you a billionaire. It's so true.

It's going to make you at best a hundred millionaire. Yeah, but I feel like having a residency it's like a different tier of musician. Oh, for sure. But when people are vampires sucking you dry, I'm shocked she's left with 60 million. I do worry about her financially. It's interesting that people are having that conversation, but like, what is she to do? I feel like whenever, if she ever wants a big payday, like someone would pay her. I feel like she got a lot wants a big payday like someone would pay her I feel like she got a lot of money for her book if she said like I need to make a couple mil like I'll do a documentary yeah um I feel like there's things that she could do but do you feel like she's well enough like a book you can like work on but like a documentary being camera facing like I think if it's friendly team it would be okay yeah um she could always do more

music she likes music and she actually did do a song with Elton John yeah that was like kind of a good song yeah it got like popular isn't it just his song that she recorded with him yeah like they did like a revamped version but like it didn't go by the wayside. Like it was popular. Yeah, but I think it's hard to make money that way when you're just like recording someone else's song with them. Yeah. They're like, well, you could skedaddle and get 1%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How does that sound?

It's not a big money-making excursion. How does 1% sound? How does literally $1 sound? But yeah, I think right now she's taking a break from working, period. But I think one day if she wants to keep living at this level she loves going on vacation she could do a residency she likes to sing and dance I feel like she I'm not so worried I don't think she's even really perhaps ever going to be well enough to do a live show again I don't know I think it wouldn't be like what someone else's might be

right but she did it for so many years she knows it down pat yeah that's true um also I just love like Jessica Simpson and well just Jessica Simpson acknowledging Britney Spears she talked about her in her book a little bit like how at the time like all those girls were so competitive Christina Aguilera because they literally were doing the same thing like southern girls with blonde hair being pop stars and they all ended up so differently and I honestly feel like the two could really um benefit from maybe perhaps a friendship yeah they've been through so much yeah perhaps I don't know okay I don't know why I just like don't see them being friends same with Christina Aguilera same with Pink oh definitely not Pink by the way I kind of read them all to

filth back in the day I think Jessica Simpson was in her song yeah the thing is with Pink is that like she was you see how I just named all those girls and I didn't name Pink we didn't loop her in with that group literally because she had short hair. That's literally why. And she was sort of this like badass alternative punk. Renegade. Whereas the other girls were like America's sweetheart. Like exactly. Renegade. And

honestly in terms of music like and career and performing like Pink kind of like outlived them all. And then I would say Christina Aguilera. Maybe Christina Aguilera and Pink are, by the way, they fucking hate each other, those two. But I would say they're maybe on the same level.

Like Christina doesn't release new music. Shame, crying shame. Crying shame, but her previous catalog like puts her at icon status. Oh yeah, but just like Britney Spears, but I wouldn't say Britney Spears and Pink are, I think Pink musically is like- No, Christina still performs.

Yeah, she's doing her residency in Vegas it kind of looks amazing I'm sure it is what's your favorite Christina Aguilera song for me right now it's Fighter because it's a good running song but not overall overall I don't know maybe something from Lotus I think, honestly, something from Burlesque. Of course, Burlesque. What a slay. We don't have time. We don't have time. Okay, but I just want to say, Burlesque deserved an Oscar. Burlesque deserved a Tony. It wasn't eligible, but I agree.

Burlesque deserved an EGOT. Burlesque deserved a Pulitzer. Burlesque deserved a Broadway showOT. Burlesque deserved a Pulitzer. Burlesque deserved a Broadway show. I kind of love that idea. B-E-X-P-R-E-S-S. And the casting, that, honestly, make a list. Because what do we talk about is the most perfectly cast movie of all time. Hairspray.

Honestly, Burlesque is number two. Okay. I wouldn't change a hair onspray honestly burlesque is number two okay i wouldn't change a hair on the head of burlesque except for that scene where share sings her song oh agreed the share solo and i love share but it wasn't the vibe perfectly cast movies i do have a list you do You do? Yeah. Hairspray. Of course. Beauty and the Beast. Live action. Agreed. Sleepover. Agreed. Burlesque.

No, burlesque. I wouldn't touch a hair on the head. Who is the actor who plays the main developer? What's his name? He's so classic. Eric Dane. Yes. Oh, yeah.

And he's super famous now because he's in Euphoria. And Grey's Anatomy. Oh, yeah. That's just something about and Grey's Anatomy oh yeah that's just like something about us is that we don't watch that and we never will and we never will like every day we get further away from ever watching it yeah I feel like I'm close now to getting to a place I am gonna watch The Sopranos it's been like on my list I was just about to say that really yeah me and Ben have been talking about it list. Claudia, I was just about to say that. Really? Yeah. Me and Ben have been talking about it for a while.

And I started episode one like a couple of years ago. And I didn't like it. And it's not fair to give a show only one episode. And also like maybe I just wasn't mature enough to appreciate. Even though I know how it ends, which is so annoying because I saw TikTok about it. Okay, don't say it. I won't. But Zach and I are going to watch together at some point Sopranos and Breaking Bad. Because I never saw that.

That's really crazy that you haven't seen Breaking Bad. I also feel perhaps this autumnal chilly season, maybe the spirit would move me to watch Gilmore Girls. I also watched the first episode of Gilmore Girls and I didn't dislike it. I have no desire to watch Gilmore Girls except for the fact that everyone and mostly like a name that I really, person that I really trust who I have so much in common with Stassi like says I would love it really yeah love those two shows are on my like my upcoming watch list also I never really update everyone but I did not finish watching the OC

because it's actually a bad show and that's what I've learned rip gossip girl withstood the test of time desperate housewives withstood the test of time the oc literally didn't yeah damn yeah well are you ready for our next story i am something else that fizzled out odell beckham jr and kim kardashian's relationship has fizzled out after less than a year of dating and following months of speculation about their relationship the two are no longer doing whatever they were doing um this update comes just one month after they were spotted hanging out at the Vanity Fair Oscars party crazy how low-key this was like when it was announced there's speculation I feel like nobody cared I feel like nobody cares now that they're broken up. I don't know if that's reflective of, you know, his celebrity status

or the Kardashians generally, I think, being in, like, a little bit of a flop era right now. But just interesting to know when you think about, like, all the hype for, like, her and Pete. I just, like, still don't really see that they were dating. Oh, you think it was a conspiracy? I think it was just much ado about nothing. I don't think they were dating oh you think it was a conspiracy I think it was just much to do about nothing I don't think they were dating honestly I don't know why I just like don't believe it

okay she's doubtful I'm glad that they're like giving it the jig is up and they're gonna stop with this and I don't have to like keep like seeing stuff I just feel like if they were dating we would have known who how do you date someone for just under a year and like you actually are really never seen together when you're the most photographed woman in the world there was a photo of them um in Vegas at the Super Bowl yeah and like they were in the group setting yeah he's at the Super Bowl because he's a former football player and does he still play I think so remember they were saying he might have been uh being traded to the Kansas City Chiefs and people were like, oh my God. Right, right, right. And it's like, and she never went to a game.

I'm sorry. Like they're not dating. The thing is she couldn't have gone to a game. Because like. She's, okay. I know because games are Taylor's thing now, but like Kim doesn't give a rip the way, and like Kim is older. She's mature.

Like if she wants to go to a game, nothing about what people are going to say is going to stop her. I guess they both were at the Super Bowl right and if that was Taylor's domain she wouldn't have gone she was not dating Odell Beckham Jr. seriously like I agree with that I don't think he met the kids sorry she was not dating Odell Beckham Jr. period seriously oh not not in a serious manner it's definitely not in a serious manner but like you don't date someone for say it's like eight months ten months and and stay at that level of non-seriousness where we're just like spotted out here and there for 10 months yeah it's long

it's long in the tooth who will add her to the list of eligible singles. On my way. Is there anyone we could ship her with? Let's go to the list. There is. Jason Momoa. Perfect. Kim Kardashian. Joe Manganiello. Okay.

I just want to say I do ship Joe Manganiello and Khloe Kardashian. I think I've said that previously on the show. They're both eligible singles to my knowledge. And, oh, actually, no.. I think I've said that previously on the show. They're both eligible singles to my knowledge. And, oh, actually, no, he's not single anymore.

Take him off the list. Yeah, no, he's not. No, he'll stay. Until you're engaged, you say. I agree. I agree, actually. Who else is on the list for Kim? Michael B. Jordan.

Okay, I do think he's a little young for her, but I like it. Pete was young. Right. Trevor Noah. No. Shaq oh no actually so hard I don't ship so hard who what other women are on the list for Shaq women for Shaq let's see Chloe no I like her better with Joe Manganiello women for Shaq hmm I don't really have anyone that I could see other than it's hard to it's hard to um visualize someone with Shaq just because he's so enormous like yeah yeah and he's

older I think we forget Shaq is like in his 50s most of these women are that's crazy 20 30s it takes a whole lot of woman I think to handle a man like Shaq and honestly I don't know who honest like I don't know who could handle it honestly like do you think his penis seriously is like 12 feet long it's yeah just statistically it has to be. He could kill someone. Yeah. So, back to the... Drawing board. Pool for Kimberly. Remember when they said that she was dating Brad Pitt, but also like Courtney was too?

Courtney was. You know who's not on the list that needs to be on the list? Who? The most eligible bachelor in the world. Gary? No, Gary is over party. A thousand percent. The most eligible bachelor in the world.

Think globally. Who would you say is the most eligible bachelor in the world? Don't even try and guess what I'm thinking. Who would you say? Okay. Who do you think is the most eligible bachelor in the whole world globally? Like Glenn Powell totally um second to Elon oh my god okay no not even because of not because like I love Elon but like I think of the top 10 of the richest men in the world like he's one of the few that's single yeah it's hard to picture

someone with eight kids as a bachelor. But yeah. Yeah. I think it's more than eight kids at this point. That's so fucking crazy. Yeah. I guess like when money's not an issue, you know. Yeah.

Neither is tuition. Neither is what? Tuition. True. But I don't know what's up with him. Who he's seeing. But all I know is it's not you and that's wrong. Are you ready for our next story?

What number? Four. Yes. Kyle Richards' daughter Farrah had $1 million in goods and heirlooms stolen from her Hollywood home. Okay. Have you seen in the last, I saw a few, like a week ago, that Kyle Richards' daughter Farrah, her home was burglarized.

I didn't see that. Now it's come out that more than $1 million worth of luxury items were stolen, including precious family heirlooms, from her Hollywood home last week. The star was not at home at the time of the robbery, which saw brazen thieves gain access to her L.A. pad around 1 p.m. on April 23rd. Not in the middle of the day. The middle of the day, among the pricey items snatched from the property

were Hermes bags, luxury watches, designer suitcases, and high-end jewelry, law enforcement sources told TMZ. Other items that carry sentimental value included heirlooms passed down from her stepfather, Mauricio Umansky's family, before he passed them down to Farrah. Her high school graduation gifts were also down from her stepfather mauricio umansky's family before he passed them down to farah her high school graduation gifts were also stolen from her home as well as expensive presents from past birthdays it's understood that the burglars shut the wi-fi down at the home upon

entry um they both spoke with lap i mean farah and her mom both spoke with lapd investigators at her west hollywood property after the break-in. Law enforcement sources told TMZ that she wasn't targeted and the burglary, well I guess not targeted specifically, but obviously she was targeted. The burglary is just one of several that a group in the area has carried out recently and no arrests have been made. Oh my god. First of all, crazy that it's happened to both Kyle and her daughter.

Like and this the way the description of the like incident that you just read reads just like Kyle's. She lost of course like the Birkins and stuff but more importantly like her mother's jewelry and like heirlooms. Oh my god. I don't know if she I don't she probably wasn't targeted in the sense like because you wouldn't look at her social media and be like that's someone I want to rob you know? Yeah I'm sure yeah I'm sure she probably just lives in a neighborhood yeah somebody and she was just the unlucky one yeah but I think it's also been happening in her area also just Los Angeles in general yeah lawlessness energy yeah I feel like so many of the

celebrities and then also reality stars that we talk about like this is a story very frequently yeah it's crazy it's sort of just like a rite of passage as a celebrity to like be robbed and it's crazy that no arrests have been made like hello do your job yeah well sending her well wishes that's so scary first of all like freaks in your house oh my god are you ready for our fifth and final story oh such bittersweet sorrow but we still have dear toasters so yeah i am you're ready okay i know no i'm not oh my god i totally forgot to tell you oh oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god i'm sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry my table of things like by next to my microphone,

which is filled with necessities for the show. It's become chaos. Things in which to podcast with. Things in which to podcast with. But kind of major is that an OG iconic sponsor has returned. I don't want to guess in case I'm wrong. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. When you get a new car or a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is literally what or okay, how is this real? It's giving homeowner vibes. But really the words you need to be thinking or singing are like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm is there with the coverage you need for your car, your home, even boats and motorcycles, RVs and other things that matter to you. With a State Farm agent, you know someone

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grown-up in person. You can do it on the phone, perhaps with with a local agent that's what we love about State Farm no matter what kind of toaster you are State Farm lets you do things your way so when you need help protecting things that matter most remember to sing it like Jax and Claude like a good neighbor oh my god flat like a good neighbor State Farm is there not my best but it'll have to do today's episode is also brought to you by Mary and George, our new favorite show on Starz. Mary and George is a Starz original show inspired by the story of Mary Villiers. She molded her beautiful and charismatic son, George, to seduce King James I and become his all-powerful lover. Through outrageous scheming, the pair rose from humble

beginnings to eventually become the richest and most titled slash influential players the English court had ever seen. So the show is starring Julianne Moore and Nicholas Galassie, and obviously playing mother and son. Critics are calling it sexy, witty, darkly rewarding. They're obsessed with it, as are we. Love a period piece, especially about a unique story in time perhaps you hadn't heard of, and then you find yourself Googling like during the entire show. So watch Mary and George only on Starz and in the in the stars app Jax and I are truly obsessed with period pieces Mary and George is no exception Mary is uh the character is played by Julianne Moore and Mary pretty much finds herself at this place where she has nothing to her name she's feeling desperate

needing to elevate her social standing I feel like we've all been there at some point and Mary takes sort of a radical route you know she has her husband become lover I mean her son become lover to the king it was definitely giving creative it was giving you know she pulled herself up by her bootstraps and she did what she had to do so watch it now on stars and in the stars app that's s-t-a-r-z you can download the app or just watch it if you have the channel stars it's called Mary and George again it is starring Julianne Moore and Nicholas Gal gallatin you're gonna love it we have been loving it thank you la you're welcome our fifth and final story which was going to lead into a bit of a tv recap is that vanderpump rules is pausing production and won't film this summer to give

cast members a break so fans will have to wait a little longer than usual for the next season of vanderpump rules an insider told page six Six on Tuesday that production for season 12 was put on pause despite typically filming in the summer months. The network felt like the cast needed a break from the cameras in the wake of Scandival, which resulted in additional filming over the last two seasons. The source said everyone needs a moment to decompress after two very rough, intense seasons. The cast is looking forward to a break from filming the show. Yeah, I think that sometimes when things like this come out, you're like, oh, break from filming the show yeah I think that sometimes when things like this come out you're like oh my god the show's getting canceled like it's always like red flag but I actually think it'll serve the show better if everybody like sometimes I look at

Ariana on the show and she doesn't even say much I'm like she looks so tired I think everybody really does need a break I also think it'll help the drama for them to like live their lives normally yeah and I feel like when people want wanna do something maybe salacious or whatever, they'll do it when they're not filming. And I think also we always talk in hindsight, like the Jersey Shore kids needed a break and we always like learn from that, but then nothing ever changes in the moment

when the break is needed. So I don't know who actually allowed for this break to happen because I feel like it's always like more, more, more. No, the views are so high, we have to keep filming. But I think in the long run, it will be really good for the show. And I feel like it's always like more more more no the views are so high we have to keep filming yeah but I think in the long run it will be really good for the show and I feel like as viewers we can tell that the storyline has run dry yeah they need a break I'm fine with a break and I I'm here for a little fall vpr I feel like summer filming in the summer it's just like summer

vibes are nice and fun and like everything's like lit and crazy but I'm kind of here for like fall fall trips let's see what they do in the fall um you just reminded me of because I was thinking about how Sheena also reminds like feels like someone who might need a break like she's obviously like going through a lot talking about like postpartum OCD I didn't know that was a thing um she seems like someone who's like kind of on the fritz and it's not just Ariana and of course like Sheena makes everything about herself but I do feel like a lot of them could benefit especially like Lala now getting pregnant like I think it'll be really good for everyone yeah and when they resume hopefully people will have new things going on just feel refreshed I think this is really for

the best and I'm impressed that they can recognize that. Same. I also now speaking of Sheena because when I was watching last night it's so funny to me because I even though I think like she's going through a lot I think her life and her relationship with her husband a lot of it is so relatable like they're not fighting about anything monumental. I don't think they have marital problems. I think they fight about like the dishwasher things that normal couples fight about and honestly I find it funny when she was like yelling about him in the law about the laundry in Tahoe and it makes me like them so much. It's so relatable but every now and honestly I find it funny when she was like yelling about him in the law about the laundry in Tahoe um and it makes me like them so much it's so relatable but every now and then I remember that Brock has those two other kids it's like a anvil on my head I'm like oh because he

seems like such a good dad and husband I'm like how can you be both somebody who literally like abandoned two kids but also was like this amazing dad well maybe he sees this as a second chance that's what he says like redemption even if he lived in Australia where he's from like does his ex allow him to be around his children I don't know at first when they they had said like when this story first came out that he wasn't allowed to be around his children because he was behind on child support yeah but I believe he's gotten that taken care of he sold his gyms or whatever yeah it's like I mean if it's out of his control that he can't be with his kids the only thing to me it's like how does that not just like weigh on him yeah that he has two kids you know like that two kids that you can't see. Yeah, and I think that he chose to leave the country,

and that's why people say he abandoned. And yeah, he went for a better life or whatever. He lived in Australia, not the desert. But it's weird. It's the one thing that holds me back on fully standing. I literally forget about it, and then it comes up on the show. I'm like, oh my God, right. I forget about it. Not saying that's right but like I fully stand and shit

and um no and when you say that like it's hard for me to hold space I know and so I've chosen to just not hold space because it was getting too heavy okay that's I don't know what that says about me but I just it's a show so it's so important to remember it's a show but it's their real lives also important to remember um so what happened in the episode that I watched well tell me what happened you can spoil the episode from last night for me okay well they go to San Fran they took a very very choppy windy boat ride that was really freaking boat yeah they went on a boat because they cruised under the they didn't cruise it was chip chop chip but I think that's like par for the

course in San Fran they went under the Golden Gate Bridge and they drove past Alcatraz they were just like taking in the sights on a boat that's like kind of crazy I didn't know you could take a boat from LA to San Francisco no no no no, no, no, no, no. They got to San Francisco. Oh, I thought they were- They went down to the docks and took like a little cruise. Their means of getting to San Fran was a choppy cruise. No, they took a plane to San Francisco. Everyone's excited for Kyle's party. Oh, what I wanted to post on my story

and take a picture of my TV screen, but my media console beneath was too messy. So I didn't. Oh my God, that's so fucking relatable. And so I never do because my media console beneath my TV is always messy with laundry. No, I put the text box over the clothing. Yeah, but I have this like new media console

that I want to show off. I feel like I can't just like ignore the fact that it's new. Anyways, all of that to say, I never post my TV thoughts because my media console is always messy. That's so funny funny and that's why I'll never be a successful influencer because I can't clean off my media console literally just put it on the floor like no no it's so true all is that to say yeah what I would have posted about was there was a conversation between Brock and Ariana that was so funny to me because it was Brock like trying to talk to Ariana about how she kind of needs to like let go of her anger towards Sandoval for her own betterment for her

own betterment and how like Sheena's kind of in the middle of it and it's hurting Sheena and Ariana's like oh Sheena the person I love the most in this world who Tom Sandoval just yelled at last week no I'm not going to forgive him when he's hurting her too. He's hurting everyone, whatever. And then they got into a conversation about male and female rage. And Ariana's just going off about

why is it that females aren't entitled to rage? And just, you know, talking like that. And Brock, you can just see Brock is just like regretting ever yeah bringing these two people are speaking two different languages and he just kind of ends with like oh well I'm not a woman so I guess I can't say and it was just like he was shut the fuck down that is so funny it was so so funny to me I find the most interesting part of the season and tell me if you agree to be the relationship between Katie and Lala. Like, and they've fought like a couple of times,

and I find it to be so, they're not fighting about nothing. And I feel like so much reality TV is like fighting about nothing. The way they both see each other, I can see how they both, how they got so far apart from where they were because they used to be so tight.

And Katie like really resenting this soft era that Lala's in. And Lala really like, you know, wanting to shake Katie and being like, resenting this soft era that Lala's in and Lala really like you know wanting to shake Katie and being like come join me on the soft side you don't have to be angry all the time it's so true how like two people can go through like similar things both of their like relationships fell apart and come out of it so differently and I never would have guessed that Lala was going to come out of it as a sort of like sensitive forgiving soft person yeah it's really interesting it's true and yeah you can see the friction but they also like I think look back on those days when they were so close like

at Chena's wedding they used to do everything together and that they'll like go back to that and be like oh I miss you I love you but I feel like they're really every day getting further and further apart there's love there but Katie and Ariana are so bonded. And what's so crazy is when they were the Tom's wives and girlfriends, the Tom Tom wags, they never really got along. They became friends because they like had to because of their husbands. And they didn't just like each other. But there wasn't like a deep friendship or connection there.

And it's really so crazy. I think they were such an unlikely duo but now their levels of like rage have matches each other and so when you're in that space you want to be with somebody who matches that yeah and now they're business partners we did get something about her update in last night's episode basically it's kind of gone to shit because they had to demolish their front patio right they have a bunch of codes that they need to get up to code on and the woman who they brought in that food chef lady was doing interviews they kind of reach a sticking point with her because she wants to be partner and like she wants a percentage of the business and they're like no we're not the three musketeers this is our business and we'll pay you a salary and then you can get like 10 of profits from this restaurant and that doesn't work for that lady and i guess if they if they don't move forward

with her she was doing really everything running back of house coo whatever oh so that's why she wants to be a partner right she works with lisa too i wonder if she gets percentages of like if this is what she does as a restaurateur it's giving greg from shorts and sandys and how they clowned on greg so much because greg's telling them to do this and greg yeah and it's giving Greg from Schwartz and Sandy's and how they clowned on Greg so much because Greg's telling them to do this and Greg yeah and it's like okay but they have a restaurant with Greg right um here if they don't do what she wants them to do then she won't work there and then they they don't have anything so I do feel like they should abandon ship like for real like cut their losses I do close they're they're not though because this is what a year ago like and nothing has happened since then there's still no front porch I feel like there was a lot

of momentum and if they could have gotten it up at the time it would have been worth it now I feel like they should cut their losses no I think they should keep going I saw something that it's opening up May 24th or something and then I went to the something about her page and still there was only like the one picture from a few years ago about like shop something about her.com or whatever um so I guess what I read was wrong otherwise would be on the page they said on watch what happens live last night that it opens May 22nd oh okay so what I read was right why isn't it on the Instagram literally it's exciting I think that once it opens if it's really good and um people are excited about it we'll forget how long it took honestly and it'll

be on the next season and then if they start filming in the fall they'll have had like five to six months of sales and it'll be really bussing ka okay okay I'm an internal optimist yeah she's talking about sex and she's an eternal optimist it's crazy I wouldn't say I'm a pessimist though I wouldn't say I'm an eternal optimist I'm a realist is what I am I'm such a realist but I come to that that realist view with like an extremely negative outlook on life so that's important to note yeah yeah okay speaking of things Jackie's negative about let's dive into dear toasters which I'm super excited about our weekly Jackie's real about I love our weekly advice segment dear toasters where you can write in if you need advice from your girls like anything marriage work

whatever it is it's totally anonymous you can email us dear toasters at gmail.com or you can head over to our website the toasttoastpodcast.com. There's a submission box there. Both are totally anonymous. If you've written in and it hasn't been read on air, you know, there's still hope. Maybe it was too long. We don't like to read submissions that are too long. This is like a podcast, not, you know, a regular reading.

Claudia was literally about to say that. So, yeah. Our first submission is actually an update so in 2022 we had this submission from a girl and i will read her original submission and it really took the community by storm people like couldn't get over the community or the community uh at that point it was the community okay okay but today it will take the community community so this is what she had written in hey jackson claude um i'm desperate in need of advice urgently i don't want to get my friends or family involved in this mess so I'm running to my cyber friends for help I've been married for seven years we got a dog a little over a year ago my husband didn't

think it was a good idea to get a dog he said I would have to take full responsibility of the puppy if we got one meals walk training etc fast forward a year of course he's in love with the dog and has been helping him helping me out here and there let's say the dog's name is Theo she said so since I got Theo I'd planned on getting him fixed, neutered. As soon as he turned one years old, my husband is now feeling really strongly about not fixing him. We've been talking about it for months in hopes of convincing him, making lists of pros and cons, et cetera,

but still neither of us was budging. I went ahead and made an appointment for Theo to get fixed today on Tuesday, and last night, Monday night, my husband said he was going to take him for a walk and came back without the dog. He said he wouldn't let me quote mutilate Theo rather than giving and would rather give him away than let him go through with the with the neutering. He said he won't tell me where Theo is and I'm heartbroken so much so that I packed a bag and left our apartment for the night to stay at a hotel. What do I do? I'm sure Theo is fine and I'll see him again but this is crossing

a line, right? Divorce is not going through my mind but a simple fight and giving up sounds wrong too as much as he is helping out Theo is my dog and I feel powerless what should I do I don't even know what options should be on the table police report divorce folding and just not fixing Theo am I being overly dramatic and we said she was not being overly dramatic that this was like a seriously like serial killer thing to do like and also where the fuck is the dog like you need to find out immediately if he's okay did you leave him chained up on the street? Right. Everybody was, like, theorizing about this man,

and everyone pretty much agreed that, like, this wasn't, like, a simple, this wasn't a normal thing to do in, like, a vengeful or spiteful, like, marital spat. Like, this was really sort of serial killer. Okay. Update. Boy, do I have an update for the girlies. Besides being a dog kidnapper, it turns out my husband was a big time cheater as well.

The first time he got caught was when this poor idiot with the worst luck ever actually butt dialed me and left me a three minute voicemail where I heard him with a girl. I finally came to my senses and filed for divorce a year later. Oh no, filed for divorce last year. I'm writing to let you know because I'm seeing someone new and he just surprised me with a toast sweatshirt this week. I'm absolutely in love with this PJ. I'm so excited for what life has in store for me.

It's never too late to join the redheads and it's never too late to find happiness. And about my dog, I told him, I'm keeping the dog, dumbass, literally, but I did keep the dog.

Thank you, Jackson Turd. So I don't know where the dog was, but she found the dog. The dog is in a new loving home with this man who obviously respects the toast, respects his lady. Respects women. And it was important that I brought up, like, there are,

like, whatever situation you're in right now, I know it seems so dire. I mean, look at this girl. Like, her dog was literally stolen from her. And her husband was cheating on her. Her husband of seven years. And she literally ended up happier than ever, and so can you. So that's just proof, like, listening to the toast is going to make your life immeasurably better.

Yeah. Wow. That's really, really positive news. I'm so glad to hear it. Do you remember the impact that that submission had on the community or no? Yeah. Everyone was like thinking about where he could be. I feel like she had given us an update shortly thereafter

that the dog dad like booked a rover and like dropped him at a sitter yes oh my god you're right done and we were like who is this stranger right nutty nutty nutty and so it really was a red flag it was just a tip of the iceberg for that freak yeah good riddance bye loser all right next up hey jackson claude i love the toast i listen every day and i'm really in need of help i slept with my best friend's brother it was a drunken night and we've known each other forever it was about a year and a half ago my sister has been dating him for the past year and now they're engaged she has no clue that we slept together and i feel like it may have meant more than just a drunken hookup do i tell her or let it be

sincerely a toaster who slept with her best friend's brother and soon to be brother-in-law okay like it didn't mean more maybe calm down he's literally engaged no maybe it did to you like maybe you but it didn't to him and he's engaged your sister and so therefore like it's not gonna mean more we're gonna nip that in the bud and we're gonna take that out of the equation you're gonna let that go i by the way the best advice ever given onto your toaster even if you're like holding a candle for him like drop it drop it before you burn it down okay extinguish the flame okay yep okay now let's deal with the matter at hand you have secretly had relations sexual relations with this man who is engaged to your little sis I don't know how close you and your sister are I could never

like if we were in this sort of situation we are so close I could not hide anything from you I talk to you every single day it would be at the forefront of my mind like we cannot have a real and honest relationship if this big secret is looming do you have that sort of relationship with your sister or is she like some people like see their siblings when they see them and yeah we don't talk every day and we live in separate states and that never stopped us but I think you need to think about to what degree is it really affecting your relationship, if any. The thing is, is that I would say yes. If you can go to your grave, both of you, ensuring that the secret never got out, then do that.

But secrets have a way of getting out. They just do. And I also think it's wrong to let your sister marry someone without knowing this big secret. That's not very sisterly of you. However, like, it shouldn't change her decision to marry him. It won't. No, but it's important that she has all the facts.

Yeah. And to let her make this big life decision while withholding something pretty major. It's not going to change. It's not like something she needs to know about her husband. He's allowed to have had sex with whoever. Something she needs to know about her life. Yeah.

Something that's going on that she needs to know. But like, I don't think it's not like she needs to know everything about him. It's not one of those situations. It's just like, she should know just so that she's not the fool for the rest of her life. I know two sisters who both slept with one of like the husbands or maybe not slept, maybe like made out, whatever.

They're all completely fine. Yeah, but did they know it before they got? Yes. Right. Yes. Right. So it's always been the truth as opposed to like it being a bombshell and like there's just no way to guarantee that this doesn't get out one way or the other like

who else knows obviously does your best friend whose brother it is no yeah no I don't think it's gonna I don't my issue isn't that it's gonna get out and she'll be mad that she didn't hear it from you it's just like it's just a dishonest thing and how someone you love for someone you love so if it were me I would have to tell if it were me I also wouldn't be waiting till they were engaged right yeah no you've waited a long time why did you wait so long why not tell her like when she started dating maybe like oh I'm so happy for you like just so you know though just so you know the age-old proverb applies here it's not the crime it's the cover-up now you act like you're doing something wrong and it's the fact that you've lied for over a year you didn't even commit a crime you guys are totally fine to have had sex when you had sex a thousand percent unless was

he dating your sister then no no he was just your best friend's brother yeah that's why they didn't tell at the time and now it's like you can tell her when they're engaged because if you wait even longer then they'll be married and it's like why didn't you tell her any time before they got married so tell her now agreed and that it'll shake her and that flame that you're holding for him oh girl you sound crazy. Yeah, yeah. Goodbye. I'm really very curious about our third and final submission, what your thoughts in particular are, okay? Ooh, okay.

Jackson and Claudia need some advice. My husband and I just bought a condo. We live in a two-unit HOA. The couple below us had a baby about a month ago. At our last HOA meeting about two weeks ago, they handed us a schedule of their baby's nap times and asked us to only vacuum slash work out and limit our walking during those times. Okay, wait, question for you.

A two-unit HOA means like there's two apartments and they meet with each other? They have a meeting of two people? I'm not entirely sure. But doesn't that sound like that's what it is? What's a two-unit HOA? Hold on, two-unit HOA. I never heard entirely sure. But doesn't that sound like that's what it is? What's a two-unit HOA? Hold on. Two-unit HOA.

I never heard of that. HOA in a two-condo unit building. We're considering buying one of the two condos in a new unit. The listing doesn't list HOAs, I'm guessing. Yeah, it's like you self-govern. You and your neighbor just get together and call yourself the HOA. I guess. Got it. So it's just the two-govern. You and your neighbor just get together and call yourself the HOA. I guess. Got it.

So it's just the two of you. Okay, great. So they handed out a schedule. What did she say? No walking. Their baby's nap schedule asked us to only vacuum slash workout and limit our walking during those times. Is that crazy or am I being dramatic?

No, that's extremely extreme. Like they should be a little more self-aware to not look like so crazy. And I guess if you guys are it's two people if you're close enough where it's like hey can you just like not vacuum that's a kind of fair you don't it's not something but walking I didn't think it was so crazy until the walking like that's really nuts also babies sleep with sound machines right like it's also on these people to build a safe sleeping environment for their kids.

You can't control whether a siren's gonna go off outside. Yeah, people get like, really, really crazy about like, the sleep environment

and like, we can't have any noise and I think that's a little bit extreme for the walking. Like, what I would do, I think this is actually

an amazing idea. They just had a baby so you get them a baby gift. You should get them like, the best sound machine and no, seriously, be like, I would do I think this is actually an amazing idea they just had a baby so you get them a baby gift you should get them like the best sound machine and no seriously be like I got your letter we'll do our absolute best but like on the off chance you know I happen to have a work meeting or whatever here's a sound machine like it's a solution I'll do my part within reason yeah you could be accommodating you obviously don't have to be it's not your problem but you want to be neighborly and say like of course like I will mind the vacuum and stuff but definitely a sound machine aces also you know when you live in a two

unit building like this is your only neighbor this is the person you're going to rely on if they hear something in the middle of the night to call the police like you know there are many situations where a neighbor has literally saved a life like you want your neighbors to like you don't you do not want to have like crazy hatred with your neighbors. You want to be neighborly. So doing the bare minimum within reason. The walking is absurd. I think coming over with a gift and just being like we'll do our best.

But in case we fuck up here's a sound machine. I think that's super nice. Yeah I agree. And I don't think sound machines are crazy expensive. Like a good one. I mean I use a sound machine on my phone. Like oh get a hatch and use code toast. Yeah you could get a hatch., oh, get a hatch and use code toast. Yeah. You could get a hatch.

You could just get a hatch. You could get any sound machine. What if you just got a hatch? So thank you so much to everybody who wrote in. And thank you, Jax, for another amazing hour and 15 minutes. I loved it with all my heart. Me as well. To me, you are people's most beautiful woman.

And to me, you are people's most beautiful woman. And to me, you are people's most beautiful woman. And you're always right. So I guess I am. And I just feel like we're all people's most beautiful women because what are they going to say? We're not? I dare them to. They want to go to jail?

Later, Holly. Lock them up. Throw away the key. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast-paced stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, much for listening to The Toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the Fast Five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube,

please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We are also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where you listen to podcasts. Find us at Toast. Leave a five-star review about how beautiful, how stunning, how wickedly talented we are. Have an amazing Wednesday,

and we'll see you tomorrow for the latter half of the week. Latter. Love ya. Bye.