The Toast - Restitution For Martha Stewart: Friday, November 1st, 2024

Episode Date: November 1, 2024

Celebrity Halloween Costumes 2024 (23:53)Exes Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk reunite for Halloween trick-or-treating with daughter Lea in NYC (Page Six) (35:42)'Gossip Girl' alum Ed Westwick's new wife is pregnant with their first baby (Page Six) (39:58)Game of Thrones Movie Is Coming (E! Online) (43:25)Why Martha Stewart Is Slamming Her Documentary (E! Online) (1:02:17)Martha Recap (50:47)Queenie and Weenie of The Week (1:08:47)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the toast and happy Friday after such a successful toast to wean. Like it's giving. We deserve this. We earned it. But it's just so weird to have toast to wean like in the middle of the week and then to have another episode. I'm really feeling like for a number of reasons Halloween should fall on a Friday.

I know that it's like about the date and not the day. But a Friday Halloween is pargy on so many levels. I mean, of course, it's a holiday. And like, why would we be doing anything else like working or? And we could just like enjoy Halloween vibes for three days and then call it a day as opposed to like this eight day weirdness. Well, I had like kind of a terrible Halloween yesterday after Toastoween, which we'll get into, which was so fabulous. I did not get a singular, singular trick-or-treater. That is really crazy.

I had the opposite experience. I actually wasn't home for the trick-or-treaters. We are the sort of house that just leaves a bowl by the door. Help yourselves in a spritz bucket. Oh, of course, in a spritz bucket. Got to teach the youth. Got to teach youth. Maybe they'll say, what in a spritz bucket oh of course in a spritz bucket gotta teach the youth gotta teach you maybe they'll say what's this spritz do a little hopefully you know 21 plus did you get any um like kids stealing candy on like do you have like a camera or something i

watched my camera footage everyone like was super respectful respectful they took a respectful amount but also like again no one like came and pillaged which was nice but I mean in this day and age when everybody has like a camera or a ring camera to be a pillager like you have to be dumb as hell yeah it's really true and I was like you know being mindful of that myself at other people's homes because we had a good mix of neighbors out and about like excited about Halloween we had buckets. We really pounded the pavement. We went hard. I mean, I got a lot of candy too. The candy that I bought for the kids that never came. So I just ate it all myself. That works. Yeah. I mean, candy's candy no matter where it comes from, but like it's a fun part of adulthood to like open the door and see the kids with the smiles

on their face. Nothing. That is so crazy. That also means that one day like your building is not going to be trick-or-treating friendly like for your family I know well I now I saw like so many videos there are a couple of blocks in the city that are like famous for like having basically like Halloween block parties where the people on the block like pay themselves to like throw big parties it's mostly um streets that are like lined with brownstones and townhouses as opposed to like tall skyscraper buildings and they decorate their porches and the stairs and they literally put out to one. They put out speakers.

Like I saw all, apparently like it was celebrity, um, filled in the West village, like Andy Cohen, that crew. I saw, uh,

Adriana, what's her name? Irina shake, brother Cooper going together with Anne Hathaway. Like everyone was out and about West village is famous for it. There's a couple of blocks on the Upper East side and I was feeling so much FOMO. Not that I would have gone, but like, where are my kids? Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's a bummer. But the good thing about Toaster Ween is that like, it gets you celebrating Halloween. Like you had a busing Halloween,

you dressed up and you can kind of call it on Halloween, even if nothing else happens. A thousand percent. And Toaster Ween was such a blast yesterday. Like we just have to talk about how I love doing a costume that nobody guessed. And because it's kind of a timeless, it's not a very topical costume. It's just an eternal pop culture reference. So nobody thought we were perhaps going to go into the archives.

And I feel like now for Toast to Ween's of the future, like no one really can guess because maybe we'll do something relevant. Well, that's what we did with High School Musical too. Like it's always been an option that we could do famous sisters throughout history. And I love that we kept the sibling. We almost didn't do siblings this year

because we, like, couldn't really think. And I love that we kept doing siblings. It was so funny. Ben was such a star. Yeah, Ben really makes the episode. He is the cherry on top. He was so funny. He loves to dress up as a girl.

And I was very thankful to him and like you know he cleared his whole morning for us he was here making tiktoks like helping move cameras around like great great great and so of course you want to be grateful to that person but like I just know he loved every minute of it that like I really don't even feel like I have to say thank you yeah you scratch my back I scratch yours like I helped him flex that muscle where once a year he dresses like a woman. Yeah. And he helps me with the content. It's a beautiful win-win situation.

It is a beautiful win-win situation. Now, I know that you watched the Martha documentary last night. Did you finish it? I did. And we have a story about it. So I think I'll make it the fifth story so that we could go into a recap because I know it just came out also. So maybe you haven't watched it yet. Without going into our recap right now accidentally,

I'll just say you should watch it. I'll just say it was the best piece of content I've seen in my life. I literally would lay my life out on the line for Martha Stewart and the entire nation, namely one James Comey. Oh, Martha Stewart, an apology. We all do. And not me, because I wasn't even-

I'm not accidentally going into our recap recap now we'll leave it at that Yeah and fuck Jim Comey And you know I had heard that name before He's kind of like in the political landscape right Yeah he's the director of the FBI so a little bit In the landscape and I feel like He was like fired or something And he has his own movie about him

Do you remember that I think it's called Comey no Now all I really know about him is what he did to Martha Stewart. And let me just say he's on my list. I hate. Yeah. Comey movie. Oh, it's not coming up.

It's. Oh, the Comey rule. Yeah. He was played by Jeff. This guy from Dumb and Dumber. No, he looks like Jeff. Daniels. Jeff Daniels.

Well, like, seriously, nobody cares about you that's Why nobody knew about your movie and what you did to Martha Stewart is a disgrace and I literally hate you But we won't get Into our recap now but We won't get into our recap now we have a fabulous show We've got stories we've Got Queenie and Weenie

Let's what do we not have We do not have dear toasters and I know there's a strong but mighty community uh a small but mighty community of dear toaster stands like it kind of the week just kind of got away from us like yeah we could shove it in today but then we like rushed queenie and weenie and the Martha recap like we kind of missed it like we did miss it we like we've been kicking the ball down the field the whole week we couldn't do it Wednesday because the Kurds wouldn't have been able to withstand Thursday of course like it just was Tosteween and now it's Friday and it didn't happen so

better luck next week yeah maybe well we'll see where we're at maybe like dear toasters just for next week like if Monday or Tuesday and I could see Tuesday being a dry day because it's election day and no one's stepping out of line except for Erica Girardi to file for divorce. No I will be behaving on Tuesday. Like I value my life and my job. I could see like the news being quiet because the big news is taking place. So like maybe we slip in a DT on a quiet election day. Yeah and I think we'll all be looking for distractions anyways. So that would be a good option. So I wanted to acknowledge and apologize to apologize to the DT community which includes ourselves we're hurting ourselves I love by the way we had such good submissions this week not to be like annoying oh damn we kind of disrupted the

order of things and we need to not do that speaking of election day I think I'm going to try and vote today because you don't want to vote on your birthday like standing in a line no my birthday is the next day but thank you for being super excited no I don't want to vote on your birthday like standing in a line no my birthday is the next day but thank you for being super excited no I don't want to vote on election day because now election day it's like lines galore when you could vote early and I've been trying to find time to vote all week but I haven't had a moment and now it's like getting away from me so I think today is the day so I don't have a plan and I think that's like my first mistake of course and that's what the influencers have been saying I barely even knew where my I thought my voting place was one place you know I've been talking about this big government building yeah but apparently it's the library so like this is nice I'm without a plan and I feel like you're

always at your local live so I do you should like take a I think I might bring my tripod and like make just like separate like content for the redheads you know by the way they take it really seriously in polling places any sort of like filming or videoing no no separate from i wouldn't be filming myself voting like no um i'd be like going into the stacks and making content for the redheads okay i'm just saying like be careful wheeling that thing in and around your polling place i feel like that is a felony it's not a felony because then also you have to be able to record in government buildings remember we learned that at the library this summer about the librarian who wasn't letting someone record cannot record at a polling place like it I I whipped my phone out and maybe I was trying to take a picture of Ben because he was being so slow

I literally got yelled at you cannot even whip out your phone in a polling place it's like a casino are you sure I don't you see like videos of people like acting out filming undercover filming undercover filming undercover okay like seriously keep that tripod in your trunk i just want to let you know i have no interest in filming at my polling place like it sounds like you are really interested actually no i'm not it's a really big building i'll be in a separate wing okay you sound like you're literally dying to film yeah because that's the sort of content everybody wants is more election content from influencers let's take a look at the week at a glance you know it's Friday let's just sort of like unwind what would you say was like the best part of your week besides toaster weed obviously

um is there like something that you want me to say? No I'm just trying to have a talk with my sister on our podcast. I know but like it's just like kind of random. Why? I'm just sort of taking

a conclusive approach to this episode. I would have to like go through my camera roll and think back on the week. I don't have a grasp of the week in my mind at

the moment. Oh I have something really exciting going on like in my personal life. Do you mean personal or professional? Yeah a bit. You guys will find out later today.

I haven't even told you I've been so coy. What the hell's going on? Should I tell you? Yeah, tell all of us. I'll tell all of you because I'm finally today, like, the work is being done. I'm wallpapering my bathroom. Oh, my God. You bitches are so dramatic.

I can't. Also, Margo and Olivia on their Instagram stories yesterday being like, huge thing happening to us tomorrow. And I think there's a lot of things. Yeah Olivia on their Instagram stories yesterday being like huge thing happening to us tomorrow. And I think there's a lot of. Yeah. Just roll with it. Like huge thing happening tomorrow.

People think there's like a big family announcement coming today. And there isn't. There isn't. No but I didn't want to like say my bathroom's being done like earlier in the week because then you have to wait like a few days to see it. I just wanted to do it all at once so that like it was instant gratification. That's nice. Actually you know I actually also didn't even talk about this on the podcast like a big just wanted to do it all at once so that like it was instant gratification that's nice actually you

know I have I actually also didn't even talk about this on the podcast like a big special project that I was working on I don't know if you saw because it was in women's wear daily I did see yeah I became a brand ambassador for this new like pet wellness brand that I actually was familiar with and like joined the I don't want to say the board but there isn't on board but if there was a board I would have a seat on it. Very Martha Stewart of May. And we had like a launch party. What day of the week was that? It's been the longest week.

I want to say Wednesday. That's like two days ago. Oh my God. This party feels like six months ago. It's called Wagwell. It's like pet wellness. You know, I feel like, and I'm kind of taking like a Jackie O approach to parenthood when it comes to Romeo.

With Theo, I was like a little, you know little what a little laissez like whatever I didn't like read a singular label like ingredients I don't know or you know I was very like trusting trusting and look and blind and maybe willfully ignorant I would say I would say and and look where that got me and with Romeo I'm like actually much more particular now about like everything kind of like you like how you swapped out all your cleaning products and you got pregnant like literally me Romeo's treats like now from Wagwell they're all like grain free he's on supplements for like allergies like and joint I feel like I've gotten a second chance at life and like I'm taking it really seriously like dead ass I'm so glad to hear And I'm glad that you're finding like wellness hacks for your pups so that you don't have to lean on BP.

And that's the thing. I feel like with Theo, I definitely like succumbed, succumbed? Succumbed. To being pet. Like I just would go to the pet store and buy stuff and not even look. You're like, shoot me up. I'm like, who would make something poor quality for dogs? Actually, quite a few people.

So it's true. You'll be hearing about like probably seeing billboards of me for this new brand, Wagwell. Don't be alarmed. Like me and Romeo just being celebrity endorsers. I love that. I actually now I have a grasp of my week and I can answer your question from before. Isn't it a nice question? It is a nice question, but like I didn't have a grasp of my week.

I don't know like how else to say it. She didn't have a grasp of her week. I don't know like how else to say it. She didn't have a grasp of her week. Two highlights of my week. Thank you for asking. First, driving the Cybertruck and vlogging and the whole experience with my husband. We had a great day, a great afternoon at Tesla and we got to drive the Cybertruck. We just had fun. And then it's also on the vlog and the vlog was really like creating the vlog was really

fun. And that was just. And it's so well received the vlog. It was like just a fun, creative project. And you guys know I love vlogging. I'm like Molly Mae with my bird watching camera of course and then like you know ever since the great like chili vlog of like 2022 every time we put out a vlog we're always like a little like I'm a little are they gonna hate this yeah I do get nervous but with this one I actually wasn't

I was like even if I got even if people said that they didn't like it like it wouldn't bother me because like I'm so proud like I know that it was great like I was smiling watching and I was having fun then the second great thing that I didn't even tell everyone but I did tell everyone that it was great. Like I was smiling watching it. I was having fun. Then the second great thing that I didn't even tell everyone, but I did tell everyone that I was going to the dentist, right? Because Bruno. I actually meant to ask you how that went. Right. So I had a toothache when Bruno got 14 teeth extracted.

And I was like, well, I can't go now because there's no budget. But it was really hurting. I was like getting a little worried. And I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I have like not the greatest teeth. Like they're kind of weak. I've had a root canal. I have like so many crowns. A what?'re kind of weak I've had a root canal I I have like so many crowns I was a root canal I've had a root canal I've had a root canal which

I barely remembered until I went to the dentist and I was like I think I've had a root canal he's like yeah that's that's a root canal on the x-ray um I've had a million crowns a million cavities so like when my tooth hurts like it means there's trouble a brewing and it's not good so I went and for the first time it was he dentist words this is quote not a four alarm fire I just have two crowns on two teeth next to each other that are not perfectly aligned no big deal it's just like rubbing up against each other it just means stuff gets stuck back there and then it just like irritates my gums and so like I just need to I do floss back there a lot but just do more of it and eventually if I want to perfect it he could give me a crown that would be perfectly next to it and make the problem go away but not something I have to do right now so I'm just going to think about

it but that was a major relief it's so rare to go to any sort of doctor dentist at any sort of medical professional and be told that like your concern is like not real and there's like not much you have to do I feel like typically like you want the validation of like a even he was like making me do these jaw exercises to like open and shut my jaw and he was like oh you turn you go to the right a little bit on this like TMJ and I'm like are you saying I have TMJ like that's so exciting it's so exciting to get a diagnosis sometimes but in that situation like your coccidinia I mean and I've actually been wanting to talk about this pillow. So let me let me.

I'm just saying in that situation, it was like the best possible news that I don't have to get like another root canal or I wasn't sat there for emergency dental surgery. Like it's just a small thing. And like, you'll be a huge win in someone's week. It was a huge win. It was really like worrying me. Now, I have recently like been watching our episodes and might I say they're just amazing. I love them. I can't recommend them

enough. But because it's because it's like officially fall I've entered my sweaters and leggings season. Like that's what my uniform is. And because my coccidinia pillow is black and my pants are usually black in a lot of our clips like I look like I have the fattest fucking ass that's like that's also like jiggly and flat like it lays flat and I just feel like every single day I need to put a disclaimer on the show like if you are watching this on YouTube like I am sitting on a black pillow that's what you're seeing my ass is actually so firm and tiny like you don't even see it you know what's so funny someone commented asking if I got a BBL because like these are the pillows that you sit on

when you get a BBL. Also, by the way, easy hack for you. Get a different color pillow. Like mine's gray. So that's so ugly. Yours is so ugly. I would love to find, maybe we could find a white pillow.

Maybe we could have them like custom dyed. I would love if we could get like a matching boucle. Jackie, what if we got boucle tushy pillows? I think that's like what we should get. Invest in. Yeah. Like, listen, let's loosen the purse strings. Let's get custom tushy pillows.

Why don't you knit us pillow covers? You know, like I. Inspired by Martha. I can really only knit like in a straight line, like a scarf. We'll ask Craig. We'll ask Sewing Down South. Oh my God, by the way. Remember when I asked Craig if they do like custom pillows and he said, because I have

a bench that needs pillowing and he said like, no, but we could like work. Perhaps I could work. They know the people. Yeah. Maybe we get custom pillow covers. That's actually a good call. We need Sewing Down South. Let's send them these mentions of these pillows.

We need boucle covers. I feel like they could do that actually so easily we do that's so fair and also let's why do we have to be confined to these dimensions why don't we have just a cushion the whole chair yeah and it only makes sense like we are actually a studio that is styled and designed by sewing down south my pillow all of our like throw pillows are sewing down south yeah that's hilarious hilarious I think we should invest in this like this is our business we got big business bless you business is booming like you know if you were an athlete of course you're gonna get like the greatest

physical trainer no and let me tell you my coccidinia is getting worse after toasty wean yesterday every time I get up off the show, like I move a little slowly. And sometimes if I'm not sitting on the pillow 100% correctly, it's like I might as well not be sitting on it. And I felt a pain so deep in my anus. Like I had never felt anything. Like I know my coccidinia is actively getting worse. And I need to be more proactive about like protecting my tush.

Yeah, you do. And as always, I stand with you. And as always, I don't feel like you've really been there for me during my coccidinia journey what do you mean I'm about to get us bespoke pillows all right maybe after the bespoke pillows I'll feel differently I don't know I just don't feel like you've really been there for me I feel like I've been there for you as much as you've let me be there for you but you know yourself like you push people away that's what someone would say who hasn't been there for someone you know know? Only someone super fucking crafty. It's textbook.

Textbook what? Your response. Textbook denial. Oh, okay. Well, you know what? I think it's textbook craftiness. And I think we can respect that. I think we can respect the run of show.

And the run of show, I think it's kind of demanding that we dive into the Fast Five, you know? We don't have all day. We actually we know I have to vote I've got to get out the vote I've got to make a plan what snack you're gonna bring I brought um Ritz crackers like I actually did maybe a piece of sourdough honestly that's a good one wrap it in some tin foil toast it up with butter yummo because I already ate my bar for the day so yummo I can't bring a bar why is there it feels like there's a law in this world that you can't eat more than one bar in a day it's actually such a good call right I think because um like you can't you can't and like you shouldn't really because they're meant to be like meal replacements right and you shouldn't be

having three bars for your three meals a day like hiking yeah I will say like when I first got off ozempic and I was like so panicked about like gaining weight and everybody was like protein protein I was having like three protein shakes and two bars a day like it was really nutty that's not good yeah I've been on the other side I'm a bar a day I do not go above that and I really feel like bars are like for the morning. I think so too. Yeah. Well, I think without further ado. Now without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know are supported by State Farm. So we know the toasters are great. Nothing feels better than a personal win. Like when you get your final piece of furniture delivered to your apartment, your home really

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So get ready to be the best gift giver ever and find gifts guaranteed to bring joy for every hard-to-shop-for person at Saks.com this season. Let's make this holiday season memorable for you and your loved ones. Thank you, Tert.com. You're welcome. You are welcome. Our first story, which is always going to be the lead story

on November 1st. I don't make the rules. Mariah Carey is awake. No. Oh. Celebrity Halloween costumes. So underwhelmed. And I just want to say,

I think as a society, we have lost the meaning of the word costume. We've lost the meaning of Halloween. No, no. Costume is something you get dressed into and go somewhere to a party. You go trick-or-treating. Celebrities and influencers like having these obscenely extravagant costumes put together for a photo shoot. And like they do nothing else in that costume, right?

They probably took it weeks ago. That does not count. No, it does not count. Like seriously, who is that for? Like we don't care. You're wasting your time, your money, and your resources. Like we need to stop. We need to abolish it.

Abolition. Agreed, and I think the perfect example is like Kylie, right? She had so many costumes, first of all. Maybe four. Three of them were silly photo shoots. Like Stop, Barbarella, some Demi Moore movie. Strip Tease. She recreated the poster. You didn't leave it. And by the way, she's naked. That's not a costume. That's not a costume. And then last night, she got into a real costume, and her and Kendall went to a party. That is Halloween. That's a costume. The other two was you just spending money for fun I just feel like as the audience like we need to all come together and make our voices heard and

like not one person should like those photos I want zero likes on those pictures and maybe they'll stop doing it it's obscene like I seriously don't understand it no it's really boring and it's uninteresting to me like it's not I mean it's unfortunate that you had to make Kylie the example because like you know I would never want to say a crossword about her but she is among those who are doing this okay you want me to call out someone else well then Kim I mean to me the peak of this is like the albino alligator Kim Kim dressed as an albino alligator for a photo I didn't realize that that's what that was yeah it said in the caption albino alligator excuse me here's another example and the

Kardashians definitely I feel like started this trend and now like everybody does it and it's annoying so I definitely blame them but it's trickled down like I saw okay here's a good example Alex Earl threw like a big Halloween party in LA like last weekend and I actually thought that was smart I feel like she's kind of taking on um like Heidi Klum because Heidi Klum's party I feel is like it's dated and did you see her looking like E.T. last night like it was so stupid I did and what's so crazy about her costume is it could have not even been Heidi in there right and by the way that's how it's been for the last couple years remember when she was a worm the last few years she's been at home yes watching everyone think that she's walking the red carpet and I went last year and it's

clearly like a money thing. Like she has so many sponsors. It's like a brand event. So I actually think like, even though Heidi didn't pass the baton, it feels like that was actually a really smart thing Alex Earl did. I liked. I think that if she continues to do it and like it becomes like an influencer-y type of thing, it could be like, you know, you think of Heidi's Halloween party, the Casamigos

Halloween and Alex Earl. And she had like this very creative costume, whatever. And then she also did like a big photo shoot like where she got this custom box made where her and Braxton were Barbie and Ken and it was like they didn't go anywhere in this costume they just like did a photo shoot like why yeah but at least I'm being Barbie and Ken it's not like they had to do like a million like makeup sit in hair and makeup for six hours that's why the albino alligator to me is so stupid worst offense she didn't go anywhere

She just took a picture I can't even imagine how many hours Were spent on this No and then when you see what Kylie actually dressed up as Like for fun with her sister on Halloween It was so cute That video they made They were like Isabella and Lizzie

From the Lizzie McGuire movie Purple and green matching Like it's a classic millennial It reminds us like they're just girls like us Like they made this cute little singing video Like that Why can't that just be enough enough yeah I also saw Kendall and Hailey Bieber were simple life poster I don't know if they went anywhere but that is like a fun costume that you can move in and they maybe did something with it I hope that they did as opposed to just like sit

at home and take content I don't know what the right word is for what celebrities do with all these photo shoots it's like so overindulgent and it's so like gluttonous if that's the right word yes but it's also just a good old-fashioned waste of time and money time is the most precious thing we have we have it's so how many jobs does kim kardashian have and she's always telling us that she doesn't have enough time but you have time for six hour alligator albino just for a photo on your instagram not even like in vogue that's why we need to use our power zero likes i agree and like seeing all that like i was saying i saw all these pictures of arita shake and and hathaway like they were dressed up as like she was like a tomb raider

it was like for their kids it was so sweet like it just was built back to basics i'm like that's nice yeah i have a list of celebrity halloween costumes we'll let you know who was like just her photo shoot, who won now. But I actually think one of my favorite Halloween costumes, I don't know if she went anywhere, but she looked mobile, was Elsa Hosk as Princess Diana. Agreed. I feel like she didn't go anywhere. I feel like she just took a picture. But yeah.

She's wrong for that. She like, I don't know why no one's ever. Why has really, maybe someone's done this before, but not in a memorable way. No, I feel like when they do Princess Diana, they do like the biker shorts and crew neck look. She nailed it. She did. She did the revenge dress, like the black off the shoulder dress.

She looked great. Yeah, she really did. So then we also have Jennifer Garner as Jenna Rink. What do you think about that? The self-reference? I don't mind it. And like she did it for a TikTok. At least she like gave us something As opposed to just

Like a dumb photo She like recreated That iconic scene Where she's getting ready For I'm going to a party In a limo Yeah And like it was really cute

Yeah that is really cute And you know what I love someone Who loves like An iconic role of theirs That like means so much To a generation They don't like ignore it

And act like they hated That role Like she knows How much it means to people And she's always feeding us Not in a way that's annoying And like too much So you know what I like it. Then Sabrina got dressed up for her show she did a Playboy Bunny and she did Tinkerbell. And then you're talking about Carpenter right?

Is there another one? Well because then she did a lot of costumes because I saw two TikToks she was Sandy from Grease which is so her. I think the whole show she kept changing into costumes. And then she this one didn't look this looked like what she wore to like hang out with her friends because her friend was Miss Ungermeyer and she was Lizzie when she's like in that fitting and she wears the big igloo dress. Her friend was Miss Ungermeyer. Yeah it was

hysterical. That is really funny. Charlie D'Amelio was Black Swan. Adorable. Like that's a real Halloween costume. That's a good reference. Oh I've seen this a million times. And you know what? I'm finally going to mention it so that she can get the PR that she was hoping for. Lizzo as Ozempic.

I actually really did not like that. I'm so glad you brought it up. Because, you know, she is on this weight loss journey, by the way. She looks great. And she's like maintaining that she's not on Ozempic. And everyone obviously accuses her of it. Because if you're losing weight in this day and age, it's Ozempic and you've not lost it before before and she has said like she will take to her grave that she's not on Ozempic and I actually believe

her because I feel like it's happening really slowly okay but do you think like she's on Manjaro that's the thing people do too they're like I'm not on Ozempic it's semi-glutide compound Jackie literally me um yeah like if I took a lie detector test, like I wasn't on Ozempic. I'm on Wigovie. No, I don't think she's lying. Like I really don't. But the thing is, is like, so you're not a part of the community.

Like you don't get to make jokes. Like you're not on Ozempic. So get out of here. Yeah. And you know, I was on Ozempic during last Halloween and I dressed up as a skeleton because people were saying I looked like a skeleton. I was so skinny.

And so like I was in on the joke and like i was getting i was taking all the heat for being on ozempic so i'm allowed to reap the benefits of a costume it's like well you're not so like is my culture a costume to you i don't think so that's really funny like it actually bothered me but i'm like so protective over ozempic and like when it comes to celebrities and like the media that maybe I'm just like too close to it. And I really feel like in this day and age, like if you're someone who's skinnier than they've ever been and you're on Ozempic. And by the way, like there's literally nothing wrong with that. It's amazing. Like I think of a million people and like they would literally, they have to go on a lie detector. like there's no way for me to not think you're on ozempic and and once if you're skinnier yeah if you're skinnier than you've ever been and you yeah and it's now in 2024 like you've lost

weight you're on ozempic I don't believe in like speculating about who's on ozempic like that's why I'm not naming names like I just I'm saying like big picture yeah you're on a something yeah that's what Josh Peck is always saying is that like he lost this huge amount of weight like before these drugs were an option for him and like he feels robbed yeah me too by the way yeah I would have been on something my whole life Jackie you don't lose 200 pounds no no but I would have been on something my entire life as maintenance and then I could have just like thought about other stuff for the last 10 years yeah you could have I could have maybe you'd be a billionaire maybe I would be a billionaire but don't worry one day when I go on ozempic it's over for you bitches yeah you keep

saying that and then like you didn't go on it so I never said I'm going on it yet I know but you keep saying one day like when oh in years like same time that i get like when i'm done having children like when you get your tummy tuck it's for my golden years got it got it got it i have to have something to look forward to look forward to breast reduction tummy tuck ozempic yeah and then it's over when i am 75 it is over for you it's so true next up i actually really like this costume i'm gonna give them some credit where it's due kelly rippa and marcon suelo says travis and kelsey at the u.s open agreed recognizable cute on on trend i liked it well executed yep i don't need you know a little

video to show me who they are right oh and then olivia coppo and christian mccaffrey really like just went classic classic college halloween they were darthee and the tin man from wizard of oz so cute oh did you see kristin uschek like slayed kristin and kyle uschek were vinnie and marissa for my cousin vinnie like seriously so good i was like jealous that's a good costume. If I could pull off a unitard like that, maybe I would have been that in my life, but I could never. I just saw such a good costume right before this.

Oh, shoot. I forget what it was. There weren't a lot of really good celebrity costumes. Yeah. Oh, Bethany Frankel was Wonder Woman. So was I. I forgot to tell you guys. That was my family Halloween.

We were all superheroes, and I was Wonder Woman. Yeah, you had to forgot to tell you guys. That was my family Halloween. We were all superheroes. And I was Wonder Woman. She looks. Yeah, you had to say brand safe. She looks much better than me. I'll say that. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

Well, she's, by the way, she's in her golden years. So it's over for you. And like, she's wearing like sexy Wonder Woman. Like I'm like, you know, in the neighborhood. Right, right. Yeah, trying to be like a modest woman. Yeah. Yeah.

It's for the children. Of course. Of course. Oh, Janelle Monae also did E.T. There's a couple of Jessica Rabbits, so there's some of, you know, that crossover. Yeah. But overall, uninspiring.

And I do believe this was the first year that Casamigos did not have their big L.A. Casamigos Halloween party, which is where all the celebrities step out in their, like, best and brightest. Unless it's this weekend. No, I had heard that it's this weekend. No I had heard that it wasn't happening. Hmm. Isn't that interesting? And I guess it would have been last

weekend if it were happening because like who's having a party on November 2nd? It's Christmas. Christmas? It's Christmas. Deck the halls motherfucker. Even though it's 75 degrees in New York today like it's insane. Yeah New York today, like it's insane. Yeah. You know what? I think it's warmer or at least yesterday it was like warmer in New York than it was here. It was 81 degrees yesterday. 81.

I had to walk home from the toast in my stupid costume because I was wearing shorts. It was so hot. Oh my God. I never had a chance to change out of my costume yesterday and like till the evening. So I'm like running around like a camp counselor. It's actually not a bad look. No, not at all. It was quite cozy.

It was kind of a pargy Halloween. It was. It was a pargy toasterween. Especially when I took that wig off. Oh, so itchy. Our next story is something that you've alluded to a number of times now that I haven't taken the bait on. But because it's a story.

No, it's Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk trick-or-treating oh sorry I'm so sorry no it's okay I just usually I tell you don't worry we're gonna talk about it but I tried something new this time which was not engaging and I was like oh she really doesn't care about these three getting together no I cared enough to make it a story because I too thought it was remarkable for a number of reasons Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk reunited for Halloween trick-or-treating with their daughter, Leia, who is seven, and Hathaway was also spotted with them. So there's a couple things that we have to break down

here. The co-parenting, trick-or-treating, like, that's really sweet of them. Yep. Irina Shayk, I'm having an Irina Shayk renaissance ever since the Victoria's Secret fashion show. Yeah. The way that she looked for trick-or-treating with her family was, like, seriously gargi-pargi on another level.

To the point of like maybe it was too much. But like it was also like. I think like when you just look like that, it's hard not to be too much. She just put on, honestly, it was probably from Spirit Halloween. Like it wasn't even crazy. I just think when you're that tall, beautiful, thin, gorgeous model that like you put on your pajamas and it's too much. Meanwhile, I think Anne Hathaway was wearing like elf ears. No, Anne Hathaway was wearing

a gown to the floor that was shredded. It was maybe like a mummy. I don't know. It was not obvious what she was. I think she's probably something from The Hobbit. So the co-parenting of it all is so interesting. Although, they've given us no reason to believe that they're not on good terms. I just feel like they're not.

Yeah, I mean, divorce is not great, you know? You know these celebrities, conscious uncoupling, like they make it work. Yeah. When you have so much money, it's like, it's not that contentious, you know? Yeah, I feel like Irina like doesn't get

that many opportunities to like rub something in his face. And this costume was that. Speaking of rubbing in someone's face, did you see upon the news of Giselle being pregnant being announced Tom Brady posted like an emo photo like of nature with the word with the song landslide playing over top yeah what did you make of that I think Tom Brady's just like the rest of us that you think that was how I'm struggling or just like here's a picture of nature in a song that I like yeah I'm like okay this always happens

where it's like things look a certain way but when you like peel it back like I could see how he just took a picture of nature and then like what's a good song about nature land slide yeah yeah yeah and then anything that he posted that day we're gonna break down yeah and I actually I'm gonna say not related okay I don't think Tom Brady takes his feelings to Instagram I don't even think he would know how to do that I agree as a man and a man of a certain age and also a certain like level of fame like you don't do that we're not posting quote cards but also that's just not like 45 year old grown man behavior like I'm upset oh let me go cry on Instagram like it doesn't even cross his mind to do something I agree although it just was bizarre timing yes but I think anything that he posted that day we would have looked at it through the lens of he's depressed he's

depressed because she's pregnant and he might have found out a week ago what what did he post seven days ago right when do you think he found out I think he found out a few days before the news was gonna be public yeah me too because she yeah yeah yeah I think he found out a few days before the news was going to be public. Yeah, me too. Because she, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she would have told him. Okay, back to, sorry, these three. What is the Anne Hathaway connection to either of them? I think maybe it was what you said.

Like, they were all on that street. West, yeah, I think when you're, like, wealthy and live in the West Village and you're a celebrity, like, you just, that's what I got from, like, Andy Cohen's books. Like, there's, like, a couple of restaurants you always go to. Like, you just know each other. Kind of how, like, you know, when you you live in the suburbs all the moms know each other yeah like how old is Anne Hathaway's son maybe he's in school right with their kids something like that yeah yeah yeah just like cute celeb tings nice to see them having a nice moment and like I said I

don't know why I feel like they really don't get along they've never given us any reason to think that well because even when they were together it looked like they didn't get along and so now they're not seriously because that one photo shoot at Wimbledon no but like there was so much weird stuff like even with the Lady Gaga star is born moment like she was always like on the fringe like yep I think she honestly did her dirty if I was her I would hate him too yeah I think so even when they were together it didn't look like the happiest couple and now that they've like separated and they have a child between them, like, seriously, I fucking hate you. Yeah. It's no holds barred. Gloves are off.

Like you suck. Yeah. Yeah. Well, nice that they made it work for the kid. Yeah. Well, our next story, number three, is some other exciting child news because it's pregnancy news. Gossip Girls alums as Westwick's new wife is pregnant, Amy Jackson.

And not to be like you know one of those but when I know was she pregnant at the wedding yes that's nice right because you wouldn't announce a pregnancy like right when it happens and they got married like a month ago and she appeared to have a bump although she's so small I think maybe you have a bump like day one oh and also she um has had a child before And you do get a bump Quicker with your second Or subsequent children Than your first

The first takes a minute Interesting Well this was a shock And of course Like I also thought Immediately Because I'm such a wench And I just want to say

There's literally nothing wrong With being pregnant At your wedding Or having a baby before I feel like such a small town Like conservative woman Was she pregnant I have wedlock I just want to say like there's literally nothing wrong with that but of course I thought the same I feel like that song of Taylor it's like Sarah's and Hannah's in their Sunday mess yes no that's literally us and that's

why I had to say like there's nothing wrong But also then you just can't drink at your wedding. Yeah. Yeah. Not a huge loss. It's a little bit of a bummer. Yeah. But I guess it depends what your relationship with alcohol is. But it's like if they never got married in the last few months, like I wouldn't even, like they'd be pregnant and I wouldn't be like,

are they married or are they not married? But like it's just because they just got married. Like just this small town Karen comes out. Something about a wedding is like so, so, like, traditional and religious that, like, you do think, like, you know. But no, that's fabulous. Happy for them. That's fabulous.

I am happy for them. I'm, like, like, I'm happy for them, and I know that, like, hearts are breaking everywhere. Because even when he got married, like, a marriage is just a marriage, right? Especially in Hollywood. But a child is binding. Is binding for life.

And I just know that, like, there are actually millions of girls out there who just think that this should be them, and it's not, and I'm sorry, and it's tough to see other people living out your dreams. Do you really think that he has millions of girls out there? Yes. People die for him. Also, if I told you how many Instagram followers he had,

you would be shocked. They die for him because they die for Chuck Bass? many Instagram followers he had like you would be Shocked you know for him because they die for Chuck Bass yes and He really has aged so well like He has 11 million followers Like that's crazy how many Show how many does Chase Crawford have That's a good question I think

People die for Ed Westwick more than they die For Chase yeah like Nate was Really okay this Chase Crawford Who by the way there is a Chase Crawford on Instagram who was verified who has 264 followers that's insane and that's what that's what came up for me am I blocked by Chase Crawford like H-A-C-E it is yeah I could feel that that's yeah you're right three million okay wow so I'm telling you there is like a cult following it's not like he went on to do other big things like he had pretty much the same acting and career

trajectory as Chase Crawford there's no reason they shouldn't have similar amounts of followers but he is like a global heartthrob yeah wow and now like with a younger generation watching the show like they all love Chuck interesting and I would argue that if you go to his Instagram now, like, he's more handsome now, I think, than he even was in the show. And I don't know if you could say that for all the guys. Oh, for all, yeah. Yeah, no, he's aging nicely.

Yeah, and, you know, this is about to become a daddy. Mazel Tov. Mazel Tov, that's so nice. Are you ready for our next story? Number four Yeah A Game of Thrones movie is coming Enough with these people

Like seriously all they do is announce projects that never come to be And the ones that do come to be House of the Dragon stink The project whose cinematic universe began with the TV series And adaptation of George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire book series Is in the very early stages of development of Warner Brothers According to multiple outlets. Because the discussions are just beginning, no actors, writers, directors have been attached to the

film. Correct. I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one in which I never asked to be a part of. I saw a video recently that explained all of the Game of Thrones spinoffs and what happened to them.

And there were seriously like 12. A lot of them are still like futzing around. In development. A lot of them are not happening. Like, you know, Kit Harington's one. That was really like kind of pathetic. That was sad. Yeah, yeah.

What was that? Like a Jon Snow after show? Yeah, Jon Snow spinoff. Like actually, at this this point I do feel like they're kind of disgracing the legacy of girl with no job of Game of Thrones with all this like will they won't they and they really need to stop because it's giving curse yeah yeah well in theory a game of thrones movie and would it be the same storyline that's what it seems to be it would be back to west rose it'd be a loop on the path of king's road oh they fucking love the king's road like the things that they do

the king's road um would be similar to Game of Thrones. Yeah. And I love God. Of course. No. And maybe like directly after. I would have been. And I would have been down.

But now that like. There have been so many announcements. And so many derailments. And X and Y and Z. Like it's giving like messy. Yeah. It is giving messy. Like stop trying actually.

Like let sleeping dogs lie. The next prequel series is coming out in late 2025, so in a year. It's called A Night of the Seven Kingdoms. Whatever. Like, for real, whatever. Yeah. Now it's just getting into medieval porn, you know? Game of Thrones was an amazing anomaly, but I don't watch medieval porn.

Jackie, it is medieval porn. What are those restaurants called where you like? Medieval Times. Medieval Times, yeah. It's literally like porn stars at Medieval Times. Yeah. That's how I felt watching House of the Dragon. I'm like, why am I watching these medieval crusaders?

I don't watch shows like this. It was harder to suspend disbelief with House of the Dragon like Game of Thrones they really built this universe and it was like fantastic and anyone could love it but there are a lot of shows like you know set in a similar time period I don't watch them right no it was different Dungeons and Dragons like right right Game of Thrones was different and nothing else they've created since then has been and had that sort of magic it's true and i actually i actually need them to stop trying okay well now we can get into our fifth and final story is it our fifth and final story that is brought to you by two-faced cosmetics and their

new kissing jelly lip oil it is turtle so two-faced's viral bestseller the kissing jelly lip oil has launched a new shade it's Birthday Kiss, and it's now available exclusively at Sephora. So it's a brand new shade of their bestselling product. It delivers a 12-hour moisture, offers immediate shine. It is, of course, vegan and cruelty-free. And the sheer candy color and sparkle gloss smells like vanilla birthday cake. It's a perfect gift, you know, for the lady in your life who has the most gorgeous lips. That would be you.

And a birthday coming up. Right, right. So? So in honor of that, we have decided to play a little fun game with Too Faced. Since Jackie and I are obsessed with the idea of birthday buddies, and this is a birthday-themed product, we are going to play a little game. So Jackie, I'm going to ask you a list of celebrity birthday twins that you have, and if you would share a birthday party with them,

give me a yes or no and your reason why, okay? Okay. birthday twins that you have and if you would share a birthday party with them give me a yes or no and your reason why okay okay so if you had to would you share a birthday party with your birthday twin Lamar Odom yes I think yeah no explanation needed no like it would be amazing I could finally ask him what's going on with keeping up with sports maybe right Chloe would be there yep yeah I think I think Chris would definitely be there because she's so supportive and like then she's at my birthday party um I don't know if you know this but the very famous elder lady June Squibb is also your birthday buddy and I can't believe we're just learning that so would you share a birthday party with June Squibb I would share

a birthday party with June Squibb because that would really bring this entire thing full circle full circle it's true June Squibb right what do you know about June Squibb because that would really bring this entire thing full circle. Full circle. It's true. You don't know June Squibb? Right. What do you know about June Squibb? And I think it would be really great for you if you could meet June Squibb at my birthday party because you love her so much. Right. Okay.

And finally, if asked, would you share a birthday party, a joint party with the icon herself, Sally Fields? Yes. I would do that for Ben so that he could ask all of his questions about Mrs. Southfire. About Mrs. Southfire. That's really huge of you.

Yeah. Really, really huge. And, you know, the more the merrier. Of course. Birthday buddies, I love them. I identify with them. They're like a big part of who I am and how I see myself.

It's true. And I would love to meet my fellow birthday buddies. So now I have a list of birthday buddies you're going to ask me. Okay. Let's turn the tables a bit if we will. Claudia, would you share a birthday party with Jessica Simpson? I mean, it's a dream and it's been a dream of mine since I was a child. Like I think that at one point I maybe even had Jessica Simpson on my birthday cake. We like had like a screen printed cake. So of course that would be full circle. That would be a really fun party too.

Yeah. And we would play like, you know, all of her top hits. It would be huge. Maybe Ashley would be there. Yeah. Yeah. Would you share a birthday party with Sofia Vergara? No, we have like beef a little bit

because she knows that like her ex-man is the love of my life. And like, I would obviously have to invite him and that would be like put her in a tough spot and I really am not interested in having a birthday to share a stage with somebody who's like so much more beautiful and perfect looking than me so I'm gonna I'm gonna kick Sofia Vergara out of here birthday twin club I wouldn't I understand and I I think I would feel the same yeah would you share a birthday party with Adrienne Grenier I don't know if i knew that adrian grenier

was my birthday buddy and i absolutely would not um because you know he would make us have it on like the beach and we'd all be cleaning up the ocean or something like and that's a worthy cause and i'll do that like the next day but for my birthday like i want straws like you just know he would kind of ruin the party with his bad energy. A hundred percent. And you know what? I feel like he wouldn't actually be cleaning up the beach. Like he'd be sitting there

watching everything. Delegating. Yeah. Well, that was fun. Treat your lips to an ultra nourishing lip oil slash gloss hybrid that instantly softens your pout

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You're timeless to me. Shop the new birthday kiss Kissing Jelly Lip Oil Gloss exclusively at Sephora. Thank you exclusively at Tertola. Jervora, yeah. Our fifth and final story that's going to lead in TV recap is Martha. Now, I actually think we should flip the tables and do the recap and then do the story because the story is about the documentary.

She's unhappy, right? She has a few details that she would have changed. And so let's talk about the thing as a whole first. She's going to be so close to it. So I can say it's like an outsider. I thought it was perfect. And I thought, I don't know if this was the goal of the documentary but I think that it really put so much respect on her name for what she built like I knew that she had this big media company I know that

Martha Stewart's weddings is still a thing and I know at a certain time like she was the biggest and the best when it came to like food and cooking and home but I really didn't know how she like grew up super poor and how she took it from you know small and how she was just this type of woman who was good at whatever she did like I think I'll fuck around and work at Goldman Sachs or whatever the equivalent was and she was crushing it making a quarter of a million dollars a year like she just has and I didn't know this about her like she has this charisma and this talent and this energy and I feel like it really accomplished two things one put a lot of respect

on what she built because and I don't know if I knew that and now I understand that that line the first self-made female billionaire like that's like what she did was insane taking a company public that was built exclusively on her yeah insane I did not realize that she was the first female self-made billionaire also really the first influencer because now there are so many companies that revolve around one person one person is marketing like their lifestyle whether it's a new york stock exchange type of company or just a big influencer it happens on so many different levels and it's so impressive that it she was the first that it was her idea that is a new business that had never been done before and I feel like we missed Martha Stewart's heyday because by the time she went to prison like we were still not even reading

socially conscious right like she was huge in the 90s we were just growing up like we weren't her target audience and I'm sad to have missed it I tried to actually buy her book last night the entertaining one yeah the first one it's like not in print anymore but it was really interesting to see how someone she became like an adjective Martha Stewart living with her so a magazine is my after Stewart media how someone actually becomes that like tangibly without having like a leg up in this world and how she really like used her skills that she knew to start a business and that was like her catering business her catering business became a cookbook her cookbook she had ideas flowing over became a

magazine the magazine so organic and like really step by step no one's sitting like took a look at her one day and said like you could be a media empire it was really her just knowing how much she had to offer and the documentary was so great because I feel like you really got to know her personality and she's funny she doesn't give a fuck and I also love that they highlighted like there were a lot of rumors at the time during the trial but also before that she was kind of a nightmare and a bitch and like there are they had all this old video footage of like her being kind of stern with people and I love that she didn't apologize for that she was like yeah like I was literally

running a billion dollar company and like people were being moronic like yeah sorry I had to talk to people in a stern way like I kind of like that she didn't apologize for that and like no no one would have made a singular comment about like a self-made billionaire man who was like a dick. Yeah, who was very exacting in what he wanted. And someone said that in the documentary. Like no one would say this about a man. And the person said like it's cliche to even say that because anytime a woman does something we don't say this about a man. Right.

But it's so true. It's so true. And I just loved getting to know her personality. And it's clear like she is who she, and she's always been this way. Like, she's known what she wanted from a very young age. And I loved the documentary from the first moment. But really, when she told the story about coming home and telling her dad that she got engaged, and he slapped her for marrying a Jew, and she didn't give a fuck,

and she, like, literally got married and had kids with this guy. I, like, just, queen. Queen. I did not know what she was gonna say like why did her dad slap her that was chilling chilling also I didn't realize that she was had spent so much time close to Judaism in her life you know I mean her kids are Jewish yeah one one kid right one kid yeah but she has grandkids too um oh yeah she was upset that they weren't included in the documentary no I thought it would like really painted a really great picture of like how Martha Stewart living came to be and like I'm so I was so impressed by her like literally she's like up renovating her house

painting her walls doing her own garden building her own garden having chickens like really it's giving like you know ballerina farm yeah like I guess to us is a modern day version right but she was also doing like so much content, like so much teaching. That's a word that she used a lot, like so much educating. And what a great resource that was. And also while also,

I love the Joan Didion piece that they kept quoting. I thought that she really, like really, I guess that's why she's Joan Didion, but really like put perfectly towards like the impact that Martha had. And like, it wasn't about like female hobbies. It was about like female power.

Like the fact that she could find so much power in like the, in domesticity, to me, I find so interesting. I agree. I thought that article was great. And I love that they remarked on two things. One that like, yes, her traditional sort of like homemaking business

was actually like a huge win for feminism. And then also I thought it was so interesting how really the biggest peak of her career, like when she went public was when she was in like her forties and her fifties, which was so cool to see. But also that like, because like socioeconomically and just like what was happening in the culture was that like so many of the young women,

when Martha was like 50, so many of like the young women who were getting married were raised by mothers who were thrown into the workforce and never taught them these things. Right. So you think about how like, so, and Martha learned it from her mom. Cause her mom was like a school teacher.

16 made a 16 meals a day. Like she very traditional. And then like when she was, you know, becoming a mom, they all worked. And that's like the culture changed. And so I thought it was so interesting.

And I love that they just didn't like clown on it as like, you know, bad for women. You're teaching women to make cakes they should be in the workforce like shut up no and she said even women who are in the workforce like they still feel this drawn to the home yeah because that's their that's you know home and that's their domain that's the heart of their family and so you can work and also still want to have like a warm home where you create things and you cook things for your family yeah and sustain all that so actually I think they said like most of her audience was working women not just people who sit at home and like are looking for things cooking all day yeah and honestly the documentary was so interesting and her company went public and

I felt like it was almost over and I completely had forgotten the whole jail thing and then the second half of the documentary is really like dedicated to that whole journey. And if you would have asked me, I would have said, yeah, you know, she got a tip. She bought or sold or whatever, and she went to prison for it. And I so did not know how not the case that was. Now, I think when it comes to

whether or not Martha actually did it, like we will never know. She maintains her innocence, and I'm sure they had very little evidence. He said, she said, some loser secretary saying, yeah, I heard him, whatever. But they were not able to bring charges onto Martha Stewart for insider trading.

I did not know that. She did not go to jail for insider trading. She went to jail for lying to the government because they couldn't get her on insider trading. So they were able to go through one of her depositions and be like, well, this isn't 100% true and we're gonna take you to trial to prove it. So they were so clearly making an example of her and that guy jims comey whatever his name

was some loser attorney general like he wanted to make his bones off this and you know what it works because he ended up like you said being the head of the fbi right so he built his career on the bones of women like martha stewart it was honestly now i don't even care if she broke the law because they abused the justice system. What a waste. First of all, like Martha Stewart, 45 grand. She was a fucking billionaire. She was on the board of Revlon of so many of the New York Stock Exchange.

So many publicly traded companies like she needed 45 grand, please. Right. No, that whole part like actually made me sick, like gave me a pit in my stomach. The fact that they could just like use. Destroy everything she built. Yeah. And like that she's going to prison. For a real prison. And they could.

And he didn't tip her off the stock guy. So whatever reason she had for making that trade, like did not come because she knew that he didn't get his drug approved. Like. Right. It was sickening. And I. I just like.

I remember Martha Stewart going to jail. We didn't. I didn't really like know that the details of it. I I just like I remember Martha Stewart going to jail we didn't I didn't really like know that the details of it but I feel like say now like Martha Stewart went to jail for insider trading she did not yeah jail for lying to the government and it just like really just makes you question like I feel like at the time were people like I there was some news coverage that was like this was unfairly harsh you could No, but they were eating it up. Yeah. But- This ice queen who was allegedly rude to work with is also stealing from the government. Like, it was so egregious.

Well, no, it's not from the government. If she's traded, it would be- Take the advantage. The investors, but- Yeah. It was egregious. It was so upsetting. And honestly, I feel like the end of the documentary

tried to like be like, and she's back and she's got this new life and actually going to jail set her free from her perfectionism in a lot of way. I did not feel that optimism. I felt mad. Jackie, me too. I felt big mad.

I'm not over it. And I do remember like the official, you know, the comeback of Martha Stewart. I didn't realize it hinged so much on the roast of Justin Bieber. That's so funny and interesting to me and really brilliant. But I agree. And she is back and I know she's you know better than ever but it made me so mad because her company went completely kaput they were what 35 40 a share and then they were under five dollars almost two dollars like

it made me so mad because everything everybody had said right like you can't take a company public that's based on one person because that person's reputation that person could get hit by a car like all of the things they ended up being right right this billion dollar company did go because of her reputation but she didn't do it or even if she did it's not right how it went down like it was so upset like I was so mad and honestly when she was leaving prison wearing that crocheted poncho that one of her inmates made her like let me tell you queen shit no and then she did her show and they're all wearing ponchos and the dogs are wearing ponchos yeah it's a shame that her show didn't work out that mark burnett show and i understood like why

it didn't but i think i was just like i don't know how she could have what moves she could have made to write to write the ship at that point like i think you know when she said everything had to fall apart advised to not speak out and that was like a mistake that she regrets Like I think everything had to fall apart. She was advised to not speak out. And that was like a mistake that she regrets. But I think even if she did speak out during the trial, like it was such a coordinated from every media, there was nothing she could have done. Like they wanted to destroy her and they successfully did.

And I was so angry and I felt so sad for her. Because when you think about how much it took for her to get to the place, like she knew she was going to take her company public and everybody was like you're crazy she got Kmart to advance her the money to buy her company back like everything she did was so fucking impressive and I loved how the first thing she did when she made it big was was go to Kmart and she's on Letterman and Letterman's being such a dick Kmart and Martha Stewart shops at Kmart and she just like so understood the American woman being like 70 million people shop in Kmart every single month and just because you're shopping at Kmart doesn't mean you don't deserve nice things like right she was so every woman she wasn't really snobbish even

though the whole thing had like a very sort of elevated vibe to it I was so angry I'm I'm still angry I'm sure she is too by the way you could tell there are certain things that happened to her in her life like even her first. That she really wasn't over. Like it was so clear she was so sad about that. The loss of a billion dollars. She said she personally lost. And I also did wish they asked like a couple more questions about her personal finances. Because she's clearly very wealthy.

But she became a billionaire. And then she said during the course of the trial she lost personally a billion dollars. I think that was because of her like her stake in the company. And the company losing so much. So how much money did she have at the end? Oh, I don't know. When they did that zoom out on the drone at the very end of her property, her property is insane. Yeah, so let's get into the fifth story, which is she has some notes on the documentary.

She's not thrilled with a couple things, including what you just mentioned. So she has criticized the film by RJ Cutler over multiple editing choices that she disagreed with. She said, quote, those last scenes with me looking like a lonely old lady walking hunched over in the garden. Boy, I told him to get rid of those. And he refused. I tell you, she's so funny. She said, I hate those scenes. Hate them. She also took issue with the project's musical score, claiming it didn't reflect her taste. She said to RJ, quote, an essential part of the film is that you play rap music.

Dr. Dre will probably score it or Snoop Dogg or Frederick. I said, I want that music. And then he gets some lousy classical score in there, which has nothing to do with me. They did play a Snoop Dogg song at the very end because they did a big part of the documentary, really giving him credit for a lot of her comeback. And so I thought that was a good nod, but I'm glad they didn't play rap music throughout the whole documentary. It wouldn't have fit.

I agree. And maybe that's like where she is now. Or was she listening to rap music while she was renovating Turkey Hill? I don't know. She wasn't. She was listening to classical symphonies. The music fit to me. I didn't notice it.

And that's a good thing. Yeah. Then she also said that the director used very little footage from her personal archive noting there was not even a mention of her

two grandchildren. She also felt the doc placed too much focus on her 2004 obstruction of justice trial which led to her serving nearly five months. She said.

We needed that much because to understand really what they did to her and how coordinated it was she should be glad. Like she should feel vindicated but I think maybe she's at this point in her life where like she can't care about it anymore. Yeah and how coordinated it was, she should be glad. Like she should feel vindicated. But I think maybe she's at this point in her life where like she can't care about it anymore. Yeah.

She said it was not that important. The trial and the actual incarceration was less than two years out of an 83 year life. I considered it a vacation to tell you the truth. The trial itself was extremely boring. Even the judge fell asleep. RJ didn't even put that in. The judge was asleep at the bench. I wrote it in my diary every day.

No, Martha's so funny. Like the shit that she says that like you obviously think in your head, but you never say out loud. She was like, ugh, and that wench from the New York Post was there. She's dead now. I'm glad.

She said, thank goodness. She's so funny. Yeah, she is. I mean, at this point, like she doesn't give a fuck. The worst thing that could possibly have happened to her happened to her. Has happened.

So let's let her rip, huh? Yeah. I only wish this documentary came out sooner because I think it will usher in a renaissance for Martha Stewart. I think there's going to be more, like the way that I looked to buy her cookbook, I think thousands of people are going to do. I wouldn't be surprised if they reissue it.

I wouldn't be surprised if she writes more new ones. Like I think that the big moment that she has so deserved, even though she's had big moments, I just don't feel like they're as big as what she lost. No, agreed. And they tried to say that in the documentary. Like she's back, a new generation, reclaimed her relevance.

And she's huge, but not like. No, and I think she deserves to have all of the things that she once had. She deserves it all back. And I only wish that this has happened sooner. And also like that I knew about, like, cause honestly I I loved everything that I saw in the documentary I wish that I hadn't known about what she had done sooner so that I could have maybe gotten some books and learned some things I want to watch her show yeah it was an infuriating documentary

yeah and the first hour was so inspiring. Like, really. Like, just this badass woman in business who started with fucking nothing. Like, really nothing. And when she was talking about, like, her house in the Hamptons, oh, my God, so sick. Like, she's such a queen. And I really forgot. And I was like, I wonder how they're going to wrap this up. And then I forgot about this huge thing that happened to her so late in life. And it really made me angry.

Like, for real. Yeah. And I buy magazines in the grocery store checkout real Yeah and I buy Magazines in the Grocery store checkout aisle And like they are lacking Because Martha Stewart Living is not there Because Martha's not here That's where she should be

Correct So I just Disgraceful I'm mad at like What I've missed out on In this years of my life Like I should have had Martha guiding me

And I don't And I didn't have that guidance When she said that She got put in solitary For 24 hours With no food and water Because she accidentally she didn't know that this person was a guard and touched their necklace being like you necklace. I was shook. It's so crazy. She's very tough. Oh and that piece of shit Google guy. Microsoft. Charles. Yeah I didn't

realize that they had dated for so long. He didn't visit her in jail and then he broke up with her like laying and naked in bed. And like sent her a jet to pick her up from jail which was very generous but only to break up with her yeah but she could have had her own jet but also like who this just like speaks to like I think Hollywood stuff like rich people stuff where it's like I'm sleeping with someone I'm letting you know that I'm engaged to someone else and that's why I'm breaking up with you but I'm also engaged but we are together but you're my girlfriend by the way for 15 years but I'm engaged no and that's what she said also about Ina Garten when she was on Watch I think so many people like really abandoned her because the stink of being a convict like some and she ran in like hoity-toity fancy business lifestyle circles and people didn't

want that and so that was probably another huge hit even getting out of prison like you're free but nobody wants to be near you. Yeah. Which ends up being a blessing, by the way. Yeah. And she's like, you know, she has herself like she's so strong, like. I don't know, I liked how she wouldn't even make herself a victim for one second. Yeah.

Even with like her husband cheating on her. Like that's just like a tough person mentality. And I think it's really admirable. She was so funny, like talking about how horrible it was to be cheated on and the guy was like you also had an affair though yes and she's like yeah but he was Irish like she's so funny she was like he never knew and they were like no we spoke to him he knew you know and he was a mensch like yeah it didn't end right but he like loved her and he supported her he let her do whatever she wanted yeah but he had an affair with the girl who worked for her on their property that's yeah but she had an affair too that's not

menchie but it was an imperfect marriage I wouldn't say I wouldn't say mench but I would say you know they hurt each other yeah I just like loved him for like picking her out and loving her like instantly and marrying her and really bringing her up in this world and she was able to do so much that she never would have been able to do without like sort of the access and the lifestyle that he gave her. Or it might have just taken her longer. But she got to take a few steps forward. Yeah.

And so for that, I like him. Yeah. And he let her like do whatever with Turkey Hill. Literally. I love Turkey Hill. I know. She's such a queen. I love her.

I know. I just want like to consume more of her But like Where can I find it I know We need Martha back I guess she has her show With Snoop now But it's like

More like gamesy And it's not on anymore I want the education That she's promised us Yeah we need Magnolia Network To pick her up We do

Just Martha In the kitchen Teaching So Those Were the past five stories that you needed to know. And now it's time for Queenie and Weenie of the Week, our favorite time of the week, where Jackie and I just sort of sit back

and take at a glance look at the week. And we deliver two awards, Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week. Someone who acted like a Queenie and somebody acted like a Weenie. It's not that serious. It's just like meant to be, you know, a fun little game. It's a seven day title.

We're having fun. So let's start with Queenie. My Queenie is, of course, Martha Stewart. She's an honorable mention for me, but she's actually not my Queenie. Oh, well, I'll just wrap up the conversation we just had about her because I could like. It's hard not to let a Friday episode influence Queenie and Weenie. But like after what I saw last night, like she's absolutely the Queenie of my week. I agree.

Like she deserves it. And I'm glad you gave it to her because I want to give my queenie to Chessie Salford um who made Toast to Ween so funny and so great and was so down to play down to clown and brought so much joy to so many people like I was literally in the tub like hours after Toast to Ween cracking up people just tagging me in like their stories, like random moments filming Ben throughout the episode. Chessie is a Queenie and she deserves the title. Yeah, she deserves the world. Now, my weenie is kind of directly in response to your Queenie. My weenie is James Comey. Yeah. You know, I didn't have a weenie of the week. I went through everything. You know, I oriented myself to the week, my photos, and then also reading the descriptions of our episodes. It's

usually where the weenie finds me. And there was no weenie this week until one jim's james coney my runner-up weenie of the week was going to be us for dropping the ball on dear toasters but compared to what james compared to what james comey did to martha stewart nothing nothing also it's weenie like behavior like if you're not good enough at your job for like a promotion then that's just say that but here's trying to build a career off the backs of successful women and successfully destroying them for your own personal gain is disgraceful. You are a piece of shit. And Martha Stewart is a queen. Yes.

And if you really couldn't find some real corruption on Wall Street to charge. Do better. Well, then you're not very good at your job. That's what I'm saying. Well, then we're not very good lawyers, are we? He's clearly like inept and just took an easy way out. And everyone wanted to take down Martha. She was at the top of her game.

She was a powerful woman. She wasn't like nice. So it was easy. You know, the press was down. That doesn't make you good at your job. It makes you a scoundrel and a weasel. Scoundrel and a weenie so Martha we will protect you she's like on our list of people we will hear to for protect yes

yes yes actually I can't believe we have talked about Martha Stewart for literally 45 minutes and I have not shared the fact that I sat next to Martha Stewart at a dinner party and I actually did stand up in front of Martha Stewart remember when we sat next to her at dinner and she left Margo's phone case yes yes yes but she was at a restaurant I forgot about that she was at a restaurant and we happened to be seated at like the next booth to her no no I was at the same party as her it was a dinner party and we sat next to each other yeah yeah yeah and she was a queen and then the host of the dinner party was like Claudia to stand up like should we have her do a joke and I seriously

wanted to kill him but I did it what'd you say I told like a little bit I had just released I was about to release my special so I did like a little bit

for my special which one which bit about vaping on the plane and I had my vape with me Martha thought it was hilarious like she was cracking up when I called the

flight attendant to see you NT and then like I was also seeing an ex-girlfriend. We were just like chatting all day and it was amazing. And I just can't believe I talked about her this entire time without inserting myself. That's how powerful Martha is. It's true. I hadn't even thought like. Yeah, she was like Margo's phone case, the one. What does Margo's phone case say? Don't fucking touch me. It's a heart and it says, don't fucking touch me. And Margo's phone was flipped over on the table

because we don't use our phones at dinner. And she picked it up and she loved it. Yeah, Martha was like, that's funny. Now knowing her, yeah, she got that phone case. Yeah, I don't think she, I don't even know. She's, I know it's so personal to her, so she's going to have her criticisms of it. But I think that if it takes off in the way that I think it will it just came out yesterday the day before I think it will be

another sort of like you know kindling like how the Justin Bieber roast was for it will ignite I think another wave of Martha obsession 1000% and really like nothing that comes next could ever make right what happened but we could start with a billion how about we start with a billion will work but adjusted for inflation and for the year she would have spent investing with all that by the way that's what she with all her good tips right by the way that's also what she was saying when she was like hanging she's like I started hanging out with billionaires through I forget what it was and she was like and these were you know back in the day to be a billionaire not that being a billionaire now is anything to scoff at but like because of inflation and things like that

like back in the day a billionaire was a billionaire. She was like it was different. Yeah. So let's start paying her back. I'm ready.

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