The Toast - S3 Ep148: Theo in The Fridge: Wednesday, September 16th, 2020

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

Cardi B Files for Divorce from Offset After 3 Years of Marriage Following Rumors of His Infidelity (PEOPLE) Kate Gosselin Says Jon Gosselin Is 'a Violet and Abusive Person' After Incident wi...th Son Collin (PEOPLE) Kim Zolciak's Sweet Birthday Gift for Husband Kroy Biermann Took Over Two Months to Make (E! News) Peacock Reaches Over 15 Million Sign-Ups, Comcast CEO Says (The Hollywood Reporter) Paris Hilton Says She Turned Down The Hills Reboot a 'Ton of Times'  This Is Paris Recap Dear Toasters Advice Segment The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoproblems) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoastSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Morning Toast. Happy Hump Day! What a great day. You know, you know the rules, you guys. Hump someone you love. How are you feeling today? I'm feeling so incredible because it's Hump Day, which sometimes I'm like jazzed about, other times just sort of floats by on the calendar. I don't notice it, but I have the cutest, most precious Chemin on my lap, smelling good with his little short hair. Yeah, show off that cut, Theo. Hey, sexy man.
Starting point is 00:00:28 Hey, sexy man. Yes, Theo's in studio today. Fresh chop. We missed him so much yesterday. I really have separation anxiety from him because the bond that we fostered while we were away was just probably the most special part of my trip. I agree. And I too have separation anxiety from Theo.
Starting point is 00:00:48 I feel like a lot of dogs actually in our country right now are going through this thing where it's like we all train our dogs to be independent and, you know, self-sufficient. And, you know, we have busy lives. We go to work. We go out with friends. The dog should be able to, you know, entertain itself while we leave them at home for a couple hours a day. And now we've been at home for like six months straight.
Starting point is 00:01:10 I literally have not left Theo's side for a minute. And all the work that went into making him like the independent, self-sufficient man that he was is down the toilet. Out the window. He's so codependent. When we were away, like every time we would leave the house, he would wail, like literally wailing, wanting to come. So we just like would take the house he would wail like literally wailing
Starting point is 00:01:25 wanting to come so we just like would take him to the gas station like to wherever going anywhere exciting like except for that one time we left we did something so foolish we were going on a hike but we thought we would be biking and so we we didn't take him so we left him and he was wailing and then we went on the hike but it turns out we didn't even use the bikes. So he could have come. And like, I think he's still upset about it. Yeah. I mean, this is just like a burden that us dog owners, I feel, are now carrying. And dog aunties. In this climate.
Starting point is 00:01:54 And aunties. Is what do we do about our dogs? Like how, I don't know. I don't know if we're ever going to transition back to real life. Like, are we ever going to go to concerts again? But if we are, like our dogs are going to be alone. They're going to have to come. I think so too. I think so, too.
Starting point is 00:02:05 I think so. We'll get them little headphones. It has been really hard on the dog aunties, I think. Yeah, I mean, we're very aware of, like, how coronavirus is impacting the human race, but I don't think we're really talking about how coronavirus and just, like, this national crisis, both economic and emotional crisis,
Starting point is 00:02:19 is affecting our dogs and our pets, even our cats. Even the cats. Even though I just don't like cats like at all I know I feel like there's so many different types of people in the world there are dog people and I feel as though those are my people there are people who don't like dogs like that I can't even begin to understand I think that's a really minority group. I think there's two different types of people in the world. People who can stand cats and people who can't. Like, and there's no in between. You either like are a cat person or you hate cats. Okay. Not only, and I know like this is going to be controversial, like my pit bull comment a few weeks ago, but like. That's months
Starting point is 00:03:02 ago, by the way. Months ago, whatever. But I'm but I'm gonna say it I hate cats and not only do I hate cats like I judge people with cats I do wow there's obviously something wrong with you like she said what she said I said what I said and you know what I'm not editing it out because that's how I feel and I've I never feel more unsafe in a place that there is a cat like I'm me and Ben um like wow like literally six years ago we filmed this like snapchat um show with who was it shape shape oh it wasn't snapchat it was like a digital web series with shape magazine where like these two fatties like tried out like cool trendy workouts and one of the workouts was cat yoga which which is essentially, it's a cat cafe. All the cats, it's like a great premise.
Starting point is 00:03:48 You know, all the cats are available for rescue and you go in, you can do yoga and the cats just like roam about, jump on you, you know, breeze by you and they're just like in your atmosphere. And when I walked in, I literally started hysterically crying. I begged them not to make me do it. I did my hair and makeup on the street.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Like I literally would not go in there. And, ooh And oh my God, I have chills just thinking about it. It was so scary. I did the whole yoga session, like panting, screaming, crying. It was the worst moment of my life. And I hated the cats before then, but like being in that sort of environment with them. That could be traumatizing. I could see how that could be traumatizing. That sounds like really unnecessary, you know, for the cats to be involved in the yoga. I couldn't agree more. That is beyond strange. Like, remember how in Beverly Hills Housewives they did goat yoga?
Starting point is 00:04:31 I would have preferred goat yoga. Yeah, for some reason sounds preferable. More peaceful. Yeah. And like, I feel like it's kind of like horse therapy, like where you can transfer your energy onto an animal. I just don't feel like cats are willing to take up that burden for us. Whereas I do feel like horses and goats are able to.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Cats are also like descendants of lions. And like that is something that like lives inside me. Like that information. Every time we say cats, I'm like cats. Every time we say cats, I'm like Jason Derulo. But how do you love and adore Taylor Swift, given? Such a good, it's like the one thing that, like, I just can't get on board with for her. Like, I would love to engage.
Starting point is 00:05:15 That is the whole board for her. Like, there's no. There's so much more to Taylor Swift. There's no, like, I would say, like, if she had to, like, write down her top three passions in life. It would be music, family, cats. Perhaps, yeah. And I know that. And that's something I personally have to live with and just come to peace with within myself.
Starting point is 00:05:34 And I'm glad you pointed that out because it's a huge point of contention. Every time the cat is involved in something, I'm just like, ugh, the fucking cat. I literally despise cats like and you know what i think you know i think i despise cats well amongst so many other reasons but it's like when i was in the eighth grade um we we went to israel and israel like years ago used to have like a rat problem and what the country did was they released all these cats into the wild to eat the rats. And it worked. But now they have a cat problem.
Starting point is 00:06:07 So you're like sitting at a cafe and like there's literally a cat like licking your foot. And it's so normal there. It's fucking disgusting. Like literally. They just like roam this town. It's kind of like the pigeons in New York. Yeah. They are tenants, landlords, like they own land here.
Starting point is 00:06:24 And like they're just a part of the everyday culture like you're an ice cream shop there's a cat on the man's head like it's fucking wild man's head like there's just a cat and they're just everywhere and it was such a culture shock for me that like I don't think I really ever got over it it was so disgusting and like so vile and really they just they just prance around you and just come out of nowhere sick sick i'm sorry if you have cats this is gonna be a hard episode but we'll move on we'll move on but i have one more question for you yeah what is like a bigger thing that you have to reckon that you can't reconcile for yourself like taylor swift's love of cats or taylor versus kim
Starting point is 00:07:01 you want to know what it is? Taylor versus cats. Taylor, I can't reconcile that more because honestly- Wait, which one? You just- I said both. Taylor and her cats. That's harder for me to swallow.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Let me tell you why. I didn't think you were going to say that. Because Taylor and Kim, as much as like it kills me that they don't get along, like they really shouldn't. Like they're polar opposites. Like honestly, if there was a world where they were best friends like it would make no fucking sense like they're opposite so even though that's difficult for me
Starting point is 00:07:32 as like a stan um I can kind of understand it I can't understand Taylor Swift liking cats I can't understand human beings liking cats like they're fucking gross that's so good so that's what I mean when I say like I really think there's two types of people in this world like no one just feels like in the middle of it. Like oh I'll go over and pet that cat. Sick. They're either like not going to pet the cat or they own cats. That's also like people who like go to the park and bring home squirrels.
Starting point is 00:07:54 You know like that's sick. I don't know those people. People do that. Well maybe like outside of New York like. And don't get me wrong like I'm an animal person. It's just I don't take wildlife home. That's sick. And that's what cats are. And that's in my opinion like that's what cats are you're taking wildlife home
Starting point is 00:08:08 they're so unpredictable okay okay I don't want to upset anyone like if you have a cat like an important cat in your life like I'm happy for the love that you have no no no you know if you still if you have a cat in your life like I, I still value you as, like, a human and I recognize your existence. I just, like, stay away from me, okay? Keep the cat away. No, you too. You scare me. You obviously, like, are so reckless and, like, don't value life.
Starting point is 00:08:34 Like, you're sick. There's so much to be said for cats. Like, in defense of cats, they are so self-sufficient. That's true. Like, the difference between owning a cat and a dog and, like, what it means when you leave your house. And, like, the cats are quite intelligent. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:50 And they just, like, are on their own. Like, they're independent, strong women. And we have absolutely no choice but to stand and support them. You know what? That's true. Like, having a cat is so easy. Like, you go on vacation for, like, six months and the cat comes back and, like, he went to business school.
Starting point is 00:09:03 You know? Like, it's wild. So I hear you. I see the value. I do. I just, but then you also have to, like six months and the cat comes back and like he went to business school you know like it's wild so i i hear you i see the value i do i just but then you also have to like live with the cat and it's like who cares if he went to business school like he's gross honestly i feel like this episode is gonna be really triggering for like cat people like please don't come for me like we're just joking around like this is a funny show comedy podcast like please it's so hard these days that like no by the way i literally have a pit right now about like making fun of cats like that's how sick our culture is like i know we're so fucking sensitive okay i don't like cats but like it's a joke if you have a cat like you're fine person i'll still hang out with you like it's a joke hello i just feel like i have to say that
Starting point is 00:09:37 like when i made that pitbull joke first of all i didn't i think it's worth mentioning like our community went wild with a pitbull joke i'm pretty sure i didn't even actually say the word pit bull i just inferred it which is there's a difference and second of all i was completely joking i never said pit bulls are bad dogs all i said was like i wonder if the dog i can't go back there but like it was a fucking joke so is this please don't come for us like we've had a rough year. You said it knowing that it's, like, really upsetting for people to hear that. I was being a shit starter.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was being a shit starter. Not because you thought that, but because, like, you wanted to say it. But, like, honestly, like, if jokes about cats and pit bulls, like, bother you, like, I actually hope, like, this particular episode, like, turns you away from the shows because I really don't want those type of people, like, listening to the show, you know? Like, we've become so censored like our jokes are like not even funny anymore like because we can't even joke about cats and pitbulls
Starting point is 00:10:31 yeah I agree so if this is your last show Theo says goodbye Theo says goodbye goodbye oh no we're still working Theo yes um okay so I think without further ado and offense we should just get into the fast side stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast yes and today's episode is brought to you by our patreon channel please head over to patreon.com slash the morning toast if you want to join what is our patreon you ask it is our premium subscription service so of course jackie and i do the show every weekday all the time show is totally free you can watch it on youtube listen to it as a podcast so we have a premium subscription membership where you can pay $7.99
Starting point is 00:11:07 to get five extra episodes from us a month. The episodes are sometimes vlogs, they're sometimes podcasts. We have guests, we have family. It's a little bit more behind the scenes.
Starting point is 00:11:15 So that $7.99 gets you those five extra episodes a month and then it also gets you access to our private members only Facebook group which is the Toast After Dark,
Starting point is 00:11:23 a fabulous place on the internet, a safe place on the internet. There's so few of those these days. One of the last. So again, that's patreon.com slash morning toast, a great way to get more content from us and to support the show. So head over and check it out. So we are going to do our fast five, then we're going to do a little TV recap because
Starting point is 00:11:38 I want to talk about, I started Real Housewives of New York from the beginning. I saw, I watched This is Paris. Great. And then we'll jump into Dear Toasters, which is our advice segment. So it's going to be a great day. It's going to be a great day. Let's get right into it. The big story of the day.
Starting point is 00:11:50 Really the only one. The big one. Really the big one. What is it? Cardi B files for divorce from Offset after three years of marriage, following rumors of his infidelity. Cardi B and Offset are officially calling it quits. The WAP rapper filed for
Starting point is 00:12:05 divorce at an Atlanta courthouse on Tuesday, saying the marriage is irretrievably broken and there are no prospects for reconciliation. Reportedly, after finding out the Migos rapper had
Starting point is 00:12:15 been unfaithful yet again, people confirms. What is wrong with people? The pair who share a two-year-old daughter called Cherkiyari are due in court on November 4th. First of all, I love that she's the WAP rapper.
Starting point is 00:12:27 That's like hard to say. Two, this actually makes me sad. I really like stand their love. Like I thought it was cool how like Cardi B like was like this just out there personality. Like everything she did was so crazy and out there. But she was also like low key like married and like had a family and it was like cute and like a nice like dichotomy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:48 And this is sad. I don't know why like men just like can't keep it in their pants but yeah and she forgave him before for this um and so it is really sad but you know everyone has their breaking point and like no one should have to put up with this agreed time and time again but you know what they say like men cheat when they're not getting it at home but like I just don't believe that like Cardii B, she literally sang about her WAP. Like I think I don't think that's true. I think men cheat. Cheaters cheat. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:09 And I think when you're at a certain level of fame, like you just cheat like literally because you can. Like it's literally right in front of you. This is sad. You know, justice for Cardi B, justice for culture and their little family. And I always really like them together. Me too. And like there are two people who are at the height of their game and like they're just
Starting point is 00:13:24 so omnipresent in our culture and this is sad to see but we need what's best for cardi so who do we set her up with now i just feel like she's honestly like too powerful no then that's like just a terrible like thing like no i know a terrible notion that like you can't be powerful and successful and everything of the sort and get love too like that there's no one that could match up like why can't the men step up you totally just call me out on my like no but I think what you're saying is like is unfortunately true well like I think of Nicki Minaj who like they really are so similar like Nicki Minaj like didn't really date throughout her career and then she ended up with someone who's like not great you know everyone
Starting point is 00:14:03 knows what we know about Nicki Minaj's husband so like it's like that's those are our options for powerful women well it reminds me of this is Paris because this is a conversation that she had with her sister where she was like she's always like dating these guys who become their bitch her bitch boy and like follow her around and then like they become emasculated and she's like so turned off by them and her sister was like you need to date an equal and it's like who turned off by them. And her sister was like, you need to date an equal. And it's like, who? Right. How? Sorry, there are just so many powerful women out there.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Who, what, when, where, how, why? Yeah, that was an interesting conversation, just like her dating life in general. Yeah, we have a lot to talk about regarding Mrs. Paris. But let's think of people who we could set Cardi B up with because she deserves happiness. Yeah, and also I do think like, I mean, obviously it didn't work out,
Starting point is 00:14:44 but Offset is an equal, you know? Yes, of course. So. You know who's another cute? Migos. So it's also like an equal can't even stack up. Migos is like full of cute couples because Quavo is with Sweetie. Oh, cute. And they're like such a good looking cute couple. And I just like, I don't know, I feel like the Migos guys like really match really well with other like people in the industry. Like it would have been cute. Like it would probably fund double dates.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Totally. I love Sweetie. You know, I was on a podcast once with Sweetie like way before she was like famous. No, when? Like years ago. What podcast? Gary Vaynerchuk. Oh.
Starting point is 00:15:20 It was like interesting people from different. That's cool. Yeah. And she was like so pretty. She was really shy. And I was like, oh, I'm just going to remember her name like in case she blows up. That's cool. Yeah. And she was like so pretty. She was really shy. And I was like, oh, I'm just going to remember her name like in case she blows up. And now here we are. Here we are.
Starting point is 00:15:31 So who would you set her up with? I don't know. I need more time. I need to like go through my Rolodex. But an equal. It's just like hard because whatever equal. She's in the music industry. So like whatever equals like just probably going to cheat on her again.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Right. Which is a her again. Right. Which is a terrible reality. Yeah. Which is why like she, she needs an accountant. Everyone needs an accountant. Do you know that? Nobody. Do you know that TikTok song?
Starting point is 00:15:58 Nobody asks what you do when you're an accountant. Yes. I have actually seen that one. That's yeah. All these celebrities, Khloe Kardashian needs an accountant. Yeah. Everyone just needs seen that one. That's yeah. All these celebrities. Khloe Kardashian needs an accountant. Yeah. Everyone just needs like a nice CPA. Who works at Ernst and Young.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Very high up. I mean. Yeah. That's prestigious. They need Ernst or Young. Or they own their own like accounting firm. Boutique. Like a little like small town accountant firm.
Starting point is 00:16:19 You're making it into a Hallmark movie. I mean. That sounds like the greatest movie of all time. Yeah. They have like a little storefront in town. And maybe she's like rolling. Okay, I got it. Cardi B is coming through this. She's on her way to like a big concert. She's on her tour bus. The tour bus breaks out in a really small town. It's April 10th. Tax season is coming up. So not only does she have to get her bus repaired, she has to do her taxes. She goes over. She can't get in contact
Starting point is 00:16:43 with her big time LA accountant because there's no service. Right. And taxes she goes over she can't get in contact with her big time la accountant because there's no service right and so she walks over to the local cpa firm the local h&r block they fall in love wait and the movie's called tax day oh yeah like draft day yeah that's good that's really good i think there's something there can someone who listens to the show who's like a graphic designer make like a fake um movie poster tax day with like a generic looking CPA and Cardi B in like this beautiful little small town? Yeah I think that that. I think it could be a hit. No but I also think like that's a beautiful love story and it would be like the type of movie that would like inspire everyone to go out and get their own accountant you know. Yeah no and like pay their
Starting point is 00:17:24 taxes. And do their taxes. Yeah I feel like the IRS would honestly fund it because it could be like just a good PSA for them to remind you to do your taxes and like that is actually the sort of movie that we need considering no one ever tells you how or that you need to do your taxes and like the motivation is like file your taxes you could end up falling in love yes you never know what happens on tax day. Anything could happen. Anything can happen on tax day. I love it. Beautiful. Okay. Next up, I think these are two people who we have never spoken about on this show. Okay. But here we go. Okay. Kate Gosselin says John Gosselin is, quote, a violent and abusive person after incident with son Colin. Kate Gosselin has had enough. The mother
Starting point is 00:18:04 of eight is speaking out against her ex-husband, John Gosselin has had enough. The mother of eight is speaking out against her ex-husband, John Gosselin, nearly two weeks after their son Colin accused him of physical abuse, which he has denied. Quote, I am done hiding and will say this unequivocally. John is a violent and abusive person, Kate tells People exclusively. Last week, people confirmed that Pennsylvania's Berks County Child and Youth Services had notified Kate of an investigation into an alleged violent incident involving the 16-year-old that took place earlier this month. According to the CYS letter, which People has viewed,
Starting point is 00:18:31 the allegation is of, quote, causing bodily injury to a child through recent acts slash failure to act, hitting slash punching. I would just like to officially, now that this is the first time we're ever speaking about John and kate plus eight on our show like and welcome them to the show in an official capacity um i really hope
Starting point is 00:18:50 i'm gonna dismiss john i really hope we like never got to like this desperate place where like we had to talk about them um i like i never watched their show and it's so funny because when people talk about like fame and celebrity they're like it's so hard to get famous and it's even more hard to stay relevant. And I feel like John and Kate have managed to do so seamlessly. Like I have been, I remember like when we used to live in Long Island, like I literally had remember hearing their names back then. And it's like, now this is 15 years later. Like I still know who they are.
Starting point is 00:19:20 It's just crazy how like they literally fell into this like terrible, not a good version of fame, but fame nonetheless. And like, here they are it's just crazy how like they literally fell into this like terrible not a good version of fame but fame nonetheless and like here they are I mean yeah here they are I do think that they're they really are like the perfect example of like you know stop making stupid people famous yes um and bad people too and this is like a really unfortunate story especially because they're famous for being like parents right and you know not good ones and for having like so many kids right and this is how they treat them like it's just it's this is like a pit inducing story yeah terrible story um and i guess we'll keep you updated on it but justice for the kids justice for the kids um next story someone we haven't spoken about in a long time because I feel like she's been kind of under the radar, but Don't Be Tardy is premiering on
Starting point is 00:20:09 October 6th. Okay. And so Kim Zolciak is sharing her sweet birthday gift that she got for Tori. I, okay, I know that it's like not a super, super popular opinion, but like I absolutely love the Bierman family so much. Like I just would love love to, like, be with them for the day. Like, see what goes on in their house. I have so many questions about them and their businesses and their finances. But, like, at the end of the day, I just love them. And I feel like every year, it's like a question. It's don't be tardy coming back.
Starting point is 00:20:35 It's always like. Yeah, I mean, it's a question that you're always asking. Because it's like we never get a premiere date. Usually shows premiere at the same time, similar time every year. We literally are, like like all over the place. Sometimes, are you choking again? A little bit. Like I just took a really big gulp.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Are you okay? I'm okay. Yeah, yeah. Don't worry. Like sometimes there's literally two years between Don't Be Tardy seasons and it's like just normal, I guess. I just feel like the last time I watched Don't Be Tardy, maybe I missed a season, but like Ariana was still like a tween.
Starting point is 00:21:03 No, no. And now I look at her Instagram and like she's grown. No, she's a full blown like Instagram girl. Yeah. And I feel like she's been like a kid being an Instagram girl for so long, which is always like cute. And like being an Instagram girl, though, like with braces. Yes, yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Exactly. Very sweet. But now she's like grown. Yeah. And I'm really interested to watch the show because I feel like I haven't seen it in so long also I follow them like most of them on Instagram Ariana's going to college which is crazy because Brielle didn't but Ariana's like always been really really smart in school right so she's going to college which is crazy that's so exciting well um Kim is sharing
Starting point is 00:21:39 the details about the thoughtful birthday present she gave her man over the weekend while celebrating his 35th birthday I feel like it's like literally like a rim job, you know? No, no, no, no, no. This gift I really loved. It's a book. The company's called Best of Legacy and what they do is they take Croy's entire football career and there's like articles, pictures, videos of his biggest plays and this huge book of his entire football career, which is so awesome, from start to finish. Is this an ad? I don't know. the article feels like an ad I know I feel weird like best of like doing an ad for best of like I know I know and it's like that's a that's a sweet book I guess yeah honestly like I'm sure she also got him like a million other things like
Starting point is 00:22:15 actually worth money but yeah wait I feel duped because like I clicked on this I was like oh what did cream get Croy for her birthday like I assumed it would be something sick and I read the story and it was best of legacy but I just thought like when I said it it would sound better you know it's totally an ad but whatever we get to talk about the Beermans which I'm always happy to do yeah I love them like honestly every day that I wake up in their house like isn't in foreclosure like I'm just overjoyed um yeah no I know it's I just like I'm looking for like where it says on the website, like this story is advertorial.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Right, right. It's not advertorial. It's not. No, but I don't know. Maybe like E was feeling as desperate as us today. Totally. That's such a fake story. Truly.
Starting point is 00:22:54 But no, the reason why I chose it is because Don't Be Tardy is coming back on October 6th. And I thought that was information that you might want to know. No, of course I know. Like I watch Bravo every day and I'm so thrilled about it. Like I feel like I'm a part of a really elite group of Bravo fans who like die for the Beermans. And I just love them so much. And their show, I think probably I just connect to it so much just because they're like an abnormally close family.
Starting point is 00:23:13 And like we're the same. And like borderline like inappropriate. Like, you know, like Brielle is closer in age to her dad like than her mom is, you know. Yes. No, I, they have that like family x factor that I think is why they are successful and have stayed successful and it's like the same thing that like the Kardashians had not saying that there are the Kardashians yes that same thing where it's like it's just pleasurable to watch a family who loves each other 100% and it's like fighting and it's all fun and interesting but
Starting point is 00:23:38 at the end of the day like when the premise of the show is built around just like love and respect for your family like I'm automatically always going to be drawn to that yes which I love yeah and I feel like there are so many like like or there were so many like family reality shows who tried to like duplicate that format but where they where they get stuck is like there's no like big love there in the family yeah you know um who is your favorite like Beerman character oh, well, I would say Brielle. She's the only one that I follow on Instagram. And, like, I just, I think she's just interesting. Yeah, I, like, love. But I think, I love, I think my favorite to watch on, like, the show would be Kim.
Starting point is 00:24:14 Because I just think she's fucking hysterical. Me too. I think my favorite, I like, I love Brielle. I love Kim. And, like, I also love Croy. Yeah. I like it, like, blush talking about them. I literally love them so much.
Starting point is 00:24:24 I'm, like, such a big fan. You know, Brielle Beerman came to my show in Atlanta, and I, like, invited her on a whim because we had, like, DM'd a few times, and she, like, totally came and was, like, so fun. And she came backstage, and she FaceTimed her mom because I had made, like, a million Kim Zolciak jokes because I was in Atlanta, and it's like, what else do you do in Atlanta besides talk about Kim Zolciak?
Starting point is 00:24:41 I think I even, like, at one point, like, played Don't Be Tardy because I was, like, really trying to get into it, and I didn't know Brielle was coming like I really invited her and didn't think she was gonna come and um she came backstage and she facetimed her mom and I got to facetime with Kim and it was like literally the best day of my life wow that's and they're really like such nice people and like so I guess some people could find it weird how like Brielle like graduated high school and like stayed in her house and like never left I think she had an apartment for a few months but ended up like moving back home but like I just like love how like they have such a good
Starting point is 00:25:07 relationship yeah especially like I think what it when it first started out like even before Housewives but when Kim was on Housewives it was this kind of like tumultuous thing where like Kim was a single mom and it was like so hard for them and they lived in the townhouse and then like Croy came and like made them like a full family it's literally it's a fairy tale yes yeah that's also why I think I'm really drawn to it. I can't believe that we went from like season one Kim Zolciak to Don't Be Tardy Kim Zolciak. Yeah. It is a full fairy tale moment. I love that. It's beautiful. Yeah. It's really beautiful. Okay. Some news in the streaming wars. Okay. Peacock reaches over 15
Starting point is 00:25:41 million signups, the CEO says. I was one of them, yes. Yes, I was one of them as well. What was I watching on Peacock? I think it might have been Yellowstone. That's what got me to subscribe. I was watching Bethany Ever After. Also, do you know that they don't have like all the seasons of Housewives? I saw your story and I completely agree with you.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Yeah, that is shocking. They only have Dallas. Four seasons. That's so weird. Brian? So where are you watching season one? It's all on Hulu. That's so weird to me. I know. Like it's all on that's so weird to me i know
Starting point is 00:26:05 nbc it's so weird like that's where i don't understand that's where the streamies get confusing and like they just the tv industry like someone explained to me how that makes sense it doesn't okay well comcast cable is trending to add more than half a million broadband subscribers in the current third quarter what i don't know i just don't know how that has anything to do with Peacock. Yeah. But NBCUniversal says that Peacock has reached more than 15 million signups, which I think is really good for the streaming wars. Yeah, it's just so interesting when they share data,
Starting point is 00:26:37 because I think the most historic or biggest launch ever was Disney+, and they had like 4 million people sign up in a day. I don't know what they're at now. HBO Max was also really, really successful um quibi was not quibi was not no and netflix obviously like launched a million years ago and over time accumulated like 11 billion subscribers but um i'm like so here for like the streaming competition because as a consumer benefiting we are benefiting when all these big companies are trying to outdo each other we get lower prices we get more content so. So I'm just like here, like licking it up.
Starting point is 00:27:05 And I actually, when I was looking for the Real Housewives franchise on my TV yesterday, I was going through all my streaming services and I was literally trying to like figure out which ones I actually pay for. And out of all my streaming services, I only pay for HBO Max. Like because you mooch off of someone else's? So we have our family Netflix account that I don't pay for. Hulu, I use Liz Heights Hulu um what are the other ones hbo max i i did purchase because i i mooched so much off of everyone else that i gave that to olivia uses it now and you're welcome to
Starting point is 00:27:36 use it if you want about peacock peacock is free that's true but you watch ads yeah i think i subscribe to peacock do you have apple plus uh no okay i i did but then i think i canceled it and then what else is there um i feel like we're missing a big one ben pays for my spotify like it's literally his like debit card from high school i guess that's it oh prime prime yeah yeah no i do pay. Fuck. But I don't pay for Prime video. I pay for Prime. Prime confuses the shit out of me. Yeah, me too.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Because I pay for like the shipping. And somehow now I have an account, you know? Yeah, yeah. I pay for the shipping and like now I get movies. Yeah, I pay like $100 a year to make sure like my toothbrush comes tomorrow. Yeah. But I never really signed up for video. But like, it's confusing.
Starting point is 00:28:24 It is really weird. It's very confusing. Yeah, it's because they're like, they have their hand in so many things. It's like hard to keep it apart, but I just know it just makes my life easier. They're putting out some like- There's really like never anything to watch on Prime
Starting point is 00:28:34 unless you're interested in like their Amazon original shows, which I'm not. No, no. Amazon Prime is like for movie night when you have like an old movie you want to watch and you just have to go buy it because it's not going to be on Netflix. That's not Amazon Prime.
Starting point is 00:28:44 That's like iTunes, you know? Yes, know yes that's Amazon Prime is like what you get for free and all their shows and like literally Amazon Prime has like when you look at like what they recommend for me it's like the most like direct-to-DVD Hallmark that's you they're doing a good job no no but like even I wouldn't watch. Even I don't watch it. Amazon has also been putting out. Like Rodeo and Juliet. Oh God. Rodeo and Juliet. Rodeo.
Starting point is 00:29:11 It's about a country couple that falls in love. Amazon has also been putting out these like really high quality like emotional commercials. Have you been seeing them? No. Like I literally start watching these commercials and like I cry. It's like just about all these different people who work for Amazon. Like what it means to them and how they want to like leave the world so great for their kids and it's like so nice and like literally they play this music and I'm like am I crying that's so beautiful
Starting point is 00:29:30 yeah they know how to get you they also have a new mission by 2040 they're going to be like a zero carbon footprint company how's that possible and in the commercial the guy was like we set this goal like we don't know how we're gonna do it like but we're gonna do it all of the boxes well so I've always thought that it was weird that like they didn't come up with something like more environmental friendly for the boxes but now almost all of their delivery trucks in California are electric and they're planning on like rolling that out to like the whole country which is I think a good good step but I don't know how like literally the biggest company in the world boxes like stress me out just thinking of like where do all the boxes go there I think they're reused. Yeah. You put them in the recycling, but there's just so many boxes.
Starting point is 00:30:09 I don't really a hundred percent understand how recycling works. Oh my God. Speaking of recycling, this has nothing to do with recycling, but the most traumatic thing happened to me yesterday. So I ordered groceries and all my groceries came and I mostly got like Snapple soda. Like I really get beverages when I order. And so I saw this TikTok trick where, you know, like the, to like the, what is it? 12 can cases that come in those big, long cases of soda, a trick like for easily getting them in your fridge. Cause usually I'm like one, two. It's so frustrating. I saw this trick and it works amazing. You open up both ends of the the package you put the package in the fridge and then you push out the soda into the fridge and you pull the box out do you know what i'm saying no okay so let me start one more
Starting point is 00:30:56 time okay so you open up both at wait which what do you mean both ends like where of the box both ends of the soda can like the top and the bottom not the side and the side yeah wait it's a rectangle so it's like yeah so there you go yeah where you open it that's what i was thinking okay and so you put it open in the fridge okay both ends open okay and the end that's facing you you hold the sodas and you pull the box out and all the sodas just go in your fridge okay sure it's literally such a great time saver do you do it yeah I've done it for like the last couple weeks ever since I figured out the TikTok trend and then I thought I would do it with my glass Snapple bottles literally it's like four in a row no no it's I opened up both ends of the box and then picked
Starting point is 00:31:42 it up and put it in my fridge when I should have put it in my fridge oh my god I can't they went flying I was wearing shoes my entire floor was soaked in peach and apple and there was glass everywhere Ben came running it literally but just by the sound of all these glasses breaking like you would I don't even know what he thought he was walking into it was so scary and and like I don't even know how you begin to clean that up because like you can't vacuum the glass up because there's soda everywhere like it was no it's like crazy ben literally it's like cancel his three o'clock call like we were literally on our floor on our hands and knees picking up shards of glass all afternoon it was and that's why you shouldn't follow tiktok hacks okay that's my lesson of the day how many broke only three but oh if you if you
Starting point is 00:32:25 saw it you would literally think the whole box that is so crazy and thgl was okay he didn't quickly lock him in the crate by the way from the way you talk about it it sounds like you have the biggest fridge ever because i don't know if i could do those tricks like there's not enough like length for me to pull and there is and then also lock my dog in there just try it just try it it's such a great hack but I would suggest only using aluminum cans not glass bottles okay okay thank you for that PSA because you know what like I actually think that people like that's alert like that's some is a mistake that someone else would have made yes because it's a very popular TikTok trend. And you would spare them. Like, sometimes I'll, like, make, you have to, like,
Starting point is 00:33:26 you really have to learn things the hard way. Yep. If, unless, like, there's a podcaster, like, who's here to spare you. Just do your glass Snapple bottles one by one, okay? Okay. Thank you, Claudia. So, yeah, was that the last story?
Starting point is 00:33:39 No. Our fifth and final story is really a great segue into recapping Mrs. Paris, because Paris Hilton says she turned down The Hills reboot a ton of times. Good. During appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen on Tuesday, the entrepreneur, DJ, and former Simple Life star revealed she was asked to join the cast of MTV's The Hills and its 2019 reboot, The Hills New Beginnings, several times. Quote, yes, I did say no to it a ton of times, she said when asked if it was true that she turned it down.
Starting point is 00:34:04 They wanted me both times and I said no. In fact, she says she gets reality TV offers daily. Every single day we get different calls, people pitching shows, and I always say no. I'm too focused on my business, said the star who owns 19 different product lines, including a line of 27 fragrances. I just don't have time for that. When they call me with something, I always just say I don't have time. Well, honestly, like it was a good idea for the Hills producers and it would have elevated the show. But what people don't understand about- The show needs her.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Right. But what people don't understand about Paris, and I think what was really unveiled in the documentary, it's like, she's not just like this famous person. Like it's a very carefully coordinated business. And like, honestly, I think her being on the Hills would be like a huge step down. Oh, for sure. Especially like just being part of an ensemble cast when it sounds like I'm sure literally if she went to E and said I want to have like a show about myself this is like it would be filming tomorrow of course so like
Starting point is 00:34:54 but but it wouldn't be great for the hills new beginnings to have her but like it wouldn't be right I think that was like the route they were taking like with Misha Barton like who was everything of the sword and I'm so upset that she's not coming back yeah justice for her I really liked her I absolutely loved her okay let's talk about this is Paris what did you think um I loved it I thought it was so interesting I was literally like laughing in anticipation of the Tomorrowland because once I met the German guys like I was thinking of your impression and I was laughing and then when it happened like I was so shocked and I was so proud of her. Me too. And she really handled it like so sensitively at first and like was really putting up with a lot of shit.
Starting point is 00:35:31 And then once like she turned like goodbye, gone, like just really strong. And I just admired her so much in that moment. Yeah, it was a really just interesting like spectacle almost of A, what it's like to date when you're parasailing because you just get these like losers he was mad that she was he was there he wouldn't he was there with her for her to support her and she's fucking working like it's such a big deal to do tomorrow and like the biggest festival in the world and like you're just not going to be supportive and
Starting point is 00:35:59 like that was just upsetting yeah it was really upsetting I'm so glad that she kept kicked him to the curb and like didn't put up with it because you know oh my god it was just infuriating like watching like him like hang on to her and like put his face in her neck and be like I like I just really can't but the rest of the documentary was so good I mean she really is it's I mean she's so stunning first of all like I mean she's a beautiful girl and we've always known that but seeing pictures of her like growing up and like in her teens and now and how similar like she looks the same and by the way she does not get Botox I know I know because like her forehead is amazing but it does move like it moves what it naturally so and she definitely does not get work done and she's just so stunning and I it was interesting to
Starting point is 00:36:45 hear about like this character persona which I feel like we've all sort of known I think that actually the most interesting thing is like because I feel like so many people say you know I play the dumb blonde like Cameron Westcott but like I'm in on the joke right and okay sure like I believe you but when she was talking to her friends from Provo and they were like when we were asking the simple life and you said you didn't know how to use a mop we're like bitch like that's all we did there was clean right so i just thought that was so interesting and it really is this characterization and it's like she has two voices and i think
Starting point is 00:37:12 people are shocked to realize like her natural voice is very low so deep and that's how you know like when yeah and that's hot that's how you know it really is this character because her natural voice doesn't go up that high she really has like a man voice yeah Nikki has a very low voice too yeah they both have low voices it's it's really crazy and I love their their sisterhood I love their sisterhood like they're so honest and straightforward with each other and I they've had so many real conversations on camera that I thought were so interesting um I just, I want for Paris, like, I know, like, her brand sort of, like, gets in the way of everything for her, but I feel like she could dial it back, you know, and I think that her audience would, yeah, and this might be the first step towards doing that,
Starting point is 00:37:57 but I think that her audience would be really receptive towards that. Yeah, but, like, she's just, like, hustles, and she, it's, I just found it so interesting how like she does so many things that don't make her happy because she's just so motivated by being successful and specifically money. And I feel like that's something like a lot of people might relate to. It's like hating what you do, but like not, not even just like needing the money, but like wanting yourself to be like wanting all these things for yourself and wanting to hit all these benchmarks and like prove to everyone that like, you're not dumb and like you are smart and you can be successful. And like, I totally related to that. And I and like prove to everyone that like you're not dumb and like you are smart and you can be successful and like I totally related to that and I just like
Starting point is 00:38:27 I just loved getting to know her I loved seeing how she lived like her closets and her racks of clothes it's so crazy because she's so disorganized and like when in all of those moments when they were trying to leave the house to go to an event she's carrying like a million things and like so many different backpacks like it was so stressful to watch And I feel like a lot of times when you watch celebrities and I feel like we're so used to watching the Kardashians, for example, and like every, they're like a perfectly scheduled train arrives on time. Kim is always early.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Like remember when Kourtney literally had her assistants go through all of her pouches and organize the lip glosses, lipsticks and lip liners. Right. Like that's the level of organization I'm used to from celebrities. So to watch Paris, who's literally like on her computer, like it's like, who holds Kim's, like know her Kim's computer's not as important to her daily job but like it's like making sure the computer doesn't fall like now I was just like oh the
Starting point is 00:39:13 computer is gonna fall like before Tomorrowland when literally her computer was like being flopped around the tent on a suitcase like rolling around like and it's like the whole set it was really stressful yeah so I think that adds like stress to her life, but like the chaos is sort of what she's used to. But I thought it was really interesting. And the way that they did the documentary, I thought was really well done because we're learning so much about her.
Starting point is 00:39:35 And then pretty much a lot of the things that she struggles with stem from what happened to her while she was at Provo, obviously like the insomnia and the PTSD, but also that feeling of wanting to make so much money. I think for her goes back to from when she was there, just wanting independence on every level. And like hated being a kid and like having someone to answer to and someone like she couldn't just leave and go clubbing or not even clubbing, just like be her own person. And I feel like a lot of people who grew up in like really strict
Starting point is 00:40:04 households have that sort of feeling where it's like they need to be successful because they never want to be codependent or not self-sufficient. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Her childhood was fascinating. Like just like the houses
Starting point is 00:40:20 and living in the Waldorf and just like her parents. Like I just, when Kyle Richards cameo in the beginning, like I just found, I find like the Richards Hilton come up to be very fascinating. Very, I agree, very fascinating. And I also hope that with Breaking Code Silence
Starting point is 00:40:34 that like they are able to get these places shut down. Cause I feel like I remember growing up, there were always like myths about those places, like these boarding schools that come and like kidnap you in the middle of the night. Yes. For like kids who were out of line. And by the way, I never really thought of until this documentary,
Starting point is 00:40:49 how unbelievably traumatizing it is to get taken from your sleep in the middle of the night and not realizing it's something that your parents like coordinated. Right. Either not realizing that your parents are in on it or seeing your parents and them not helping you. Right. Like, and feeling like no, like you can't trust anyone. No one is going to be there to help you.
Starting point is 00:41:06 Like that is a lasting trauma. I never thought of the implications of that technique. And I knew it's like, you would send someone to military school, like they would come in and pick them up in the middle of the night. And it was like this almost like trope that they did in like movies and TV shows.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Yeah. And it's like, oh yeah, it's really scary in that moment. But then you find out like, you're just going to a school. No, it's like that stays with you forever everlasting trauma and like watching her like be up all night and have to wake up early for these call times and like glam I don't know how she does it I know the sleeping was like giving me so much anxiety yeah truly um so it was good right it was really good and I think that that's exactly what we needed from her. Like, I feel like she either could have written a book
Starting point is 00:41:46 or done this documentary. And I thought it was really, really good. Yeah, I feel like the documentary was a good route to take because you really get to see like how different she is from like Paris Hilton. Like Paris is just like a down-home chick. Yes. So I feel like that needed to be visual.
Starting point is 00:42:01 She doesn't even like wear pink or sparkles when she's hanging out at home. No, she just like wear sweatpants and like has a blowout. Yeah, like she's like just like her baggy black pants that she was always wearing. Yeah. Yeah, the glam was on point. Her eyeshadow and her eyeliner like sickening. Yeah, she has good glam.
Starting point is 00:42:17 Really quickly, so I wanted to restart a Real Housewives franchise and I started with New York. And I just have to say it's one of the most amazing decisions I've ever made. I did not think you were going to say that. It reminded me of how, like, when enough time has passed and you can rewatch Desperate Housewives. Like, forgetting the true joy and beauty of so many things. But most specifically, Alex and Simon. Stop. I had totally forgot that they literally, like, tricked this group of women into thinking they were something.
Starting point is 00:42:50 No, they didn't no they did because literally you watch the first season and they're definitely weird and everyone knows they're like a little off you know like they're they live in Brooklyn and they're just like kind of weird and everyone knows that they live in Brooklyn in the beginning yes I thought they moved but they lived in Brooklyn I think we just confused her with Miranda 100% 100% so I mean and the women in the group, like, know that they're just like a little different, like off the beaten path, but they're still very much in society. They go to the opera. They spend thousands of dollars at Cavalli. They go to St. Bart's. It's like, they do all the things right. And literally they messed up. The whole thing was a facade and they, they messed it up by bethany over to their house and filming at their house and i don't know if you remember but season one like they were literally
Starting point is 00:43:28 living in squalor like they bought this townhouse that they planned on renovating but i remember the town there were no floors there were no walls like there was just like were they living there yes with and like literally living in a basement like and it was it was shocking and literally we go to the reunion and everyone was like was there anything that you guys saw on the show that you didn't like really experience and it like shocked you and all of them were like we couldn't believe how alex and simon were living and so it really like took this whole like their whole image down because while they were never like the coolest people in manhattan they had they were putting off this energy that they were never like the coolest people in Manhattan they had they were putting off this energy that they were like cool and different yeah and it was just this fake facade like and
Starting point is 00:44:10 I forgot how much of like a how much they like faked their way through and how it was like pulled out from underneath them like I totally forgotten about all of that I also had totally forgotten about this the dynamics before the women before they became famous like Luann in my opinion was like the coolest 100% and Ramona was like dying to crack that friend group and just like be friends with the countess and I'm sorry I had totally forgotten but like Jill is everything like I loved her so much and now I remember why like she's like your aunt like she's so fabulous and her and Bethany are just becoming really close friends and like I have a pit because like I know it doesn't end well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:46 But like the show, I think became what it did because like, first of all, the women were all wealthy. Four out of six of the women had houses, like huge houses in the Hamptons. And the other one was Bethany and she eventually gets one. And the other one was Alex and Simon.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Obviously didn't have one. And Oh, do you remember when Alex and Simon rent a house in the Hamptons? No. So Jill and Bethany are staying at Jill's house for the summer and Jill gets a masseuse
Starting point is 00:45:12 to come over. And this woman, and you know Jill, she can't just relax. She's yenty, yenty, yenty, talking, talking, talking. And the masseuse is like, oh, I have this couple
Starting point is 00:45:19 staying at my house. I rent one of my properties. And Jill was like, oh, anyone I know? And she's like alex and simon van campen and jill is shook they go to the house it is truly like it's just the dichotomy between going from like jill's house the countess's house ramona's house so nice uh who's the fourth one what is that jill there's another one luann ramona no i guess that's it yeah um kelly kelly joined season two
Starting point is 00:45:48 do you know that i thought she was season five oh interesting kelly has a sick house in the hamptons um that's crazy that she so she's running in the street season two yes i thought she joined like season four or five me too no she joined season two um she has a sick house in the hamptons and i was getting off track but my point was that like this was a really fabulous group of women like they were all so wealthy like their apartments in the city were sickening and i think i really enjoy watching it because it reminds me of a time in new york that like i think of very fondly like this is when i was like in high school and like i went to high school in the upper east side well we went to high school on the upper east side and like that's where all these women like frolicked and they went to scoop and ali
Starting point is 00:46:22 shapiro went shopping like it just reminded me like really of my youth and like a great time in New York yeah and when like the Upper East Side was like this fabulous there were so many shops and restaurants like even before coronavirus it had like started to go downhill a little bit so it's just like it's a time capsule almost like see all these places and restaurants Serafina like that'd be like watching Gossip Girl again because that's the same time I mean there's just so much goodness to unpack and it was just this really fabulous group of women and you forget like they're really I run with a fabulous circle of women Jill and she like last I run in it fabulous circle of people she wasn't lying she was not lying it really was this like amazing group of well-connected women and there was this like real social scene in New York and in the Hamptons I remember they went to
Starting point is 00:47:03 like this W Hotel Beach House I forgot that they even had and in the Hamptons. I remember they went to like this W Hotel Beach House. I forgot that they even had that in the Hamptons at one point. Like it was like a W Hotel Mansion. Like it was just like a fabulous time in New York. And it was a fabulous group of women. And they've really fallen so far. And you forget where they came from. That's so interesting.
Starting point is 00:47:19 I really thought when you said that you were going to start from the beginning. Like you were making a mistake honestly. And if I had responded to you, I would have told you to watch Beverly Hills because I would have thought that that would be more interesting. But it's crazy to hear that you're loving it, even though, like, do you think that, like, the drama and the storylines are as big as, like, they feel today?
Starting point is 00:47:36 No, they were minuscule. But, like, it was just so fresh. And this was before reality TV was a thing. So just, like, Bethany picking up Luann, getting into the car and introducing Luann to the driver as Luann, Luann literally going off about how she needs to be introduced to staff as Mrs. De La Seps. And it's similar to how you introduce yourself to a child
Starting point is 00:47:56 as you do to a driver. That's literally what she said. It commands a level of respect. Even, that's nothing. Like today that would be nothing. It was just fascinating like to see these women and like come from these worlds you know yeah and you just forget about the townhouse you forget about the count you forget about Luann's son Noel taking break dancing lessons
Starting point is 00:48:13 like you just forget about it you know yeah it's really it's but what's the quality of watching it first season is a little blurry second and on is fine okay yeah i i was i was worried about that as well but even the reunion like andy's so young and that's when it was called watch what happens period like not watch what happens live no it was watch what happens but not that not the reunion yes season one and they would go to a clip and it would be like watch what happens and then the clip that's so crazy yeah so it's just like a it's like a time capsule of new york of bravo has it made you when does sonia join that season she's like a time capsule of New York of Bravo has it made you when does Sonia join that season she's like kind of late no I feel like she's season three she's never
Starting point is 00:48:50 on with Kelly I don't think except for Scary Island right Sonia I don't think Sonia was on Scary Island that's so weird I would have thought that Sonia joined before Kelly no I knew Kelly was before but I thought Kelly was like four five six, six, but I think she's two, three, four. Are you like looking forward to or dreading when Cindy bar shop joins? I'm actually like excited to revisit that whole quag thing. I thought it was so funny. I think it'd be good for you to revisit like why she made such a lasting impression on you. She did. Leave me alone. She did it. She did not. She did. She did not. I think we should have her on the show. I think we should move on to dear toasters. Oh my God. I forgot that she did. She did not. I think we should have her on the show. I think we should move on to Dear Toasters. Oh my God, I forgot about Dear Toasters.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Yes. So again, Dear Toasters is our advice segment. If you ever want to write us in, and please do, we're running dry on some good content. But deartoasters at gmail.com is the email. We'll always keep it anonymous. We'll never write you out, but you can write in about any problems that you're having and we will do our best to help you. So let's dive right in.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Excuse me. Hi, Jackie and Claudia. Hi. I'm writing you because i'm very conflicted my parents have been married for 28 years but recently things have not been okay they fight all the time and they don't even share a room they constantly talk about how they can't wait to move out of the house they live in now and keep saying my dad will go to florida and my mom will go to rhode island a couple days ago my dad went to the doctor my mom being a nurse always reads what the doctor wrote on his notes from the visit.
Starting point is 00:50:10 My mom noticed that he was prescribed Viagra, which caused a huge fight, and my mom thinks that he's cheating. They kind of dropped it, and I think it was either solved or ignored. I just went to walk around the couch to go upstairs, and my dad was on the phone, and I think he was on a Tinder on his phone. What do I do? Do I tell my mom it looked like a dating app and there was a picture of a woman at the bottom? I know that even if it's not true my mom will not let it go but if
Starting point is 00:50:28 he's cheating do i just tell her please help a toaster in a situation i didn't ask to be in oh this is so difficult i like i and i can't judge because like i've never been a parent but i just firmly believe that like the parents issues are the parents issues and like you should really try and keep it away from the kids for as long as possible. But like what about when the kids are adults? Like say this girl is 30. A kid is an adult but like they're still your kid. Yeah I agree but like there's a difference between like not involving the children and not involving like just the offspring. I actually feel like when you're getting divorced like it might be easier on a 12 year old than it is on like a 25 year old. It's different. I think that I think that it's hard on a 12 year old than it is on like a 25 year old. It's different. I think that
Starting point is 00:51:05 I think that it's hard on a 12 year old because I think that there's a lot that they don't understand but then I think for a 25 year old it's like they actually understand too much and that's also difficult and when you get divorced at that age it sort of like makes you question your entire life. And when you're 12 it's like kids are just really really like flexible like and they go that's like room like you really see like kids can bounce back but also yes in some senses but it also sort of there since they're not like fully formed like it affects how they will grow up grow so I mean it's it's tough regardless I think but I I think for this person so the question is like should you tell your mom what you saw on your dad's phone it also it sounds like your mom has her suspicions and it also sounds like they're
Starting point is 00:51:49 living separate lives yeah it sounds like you need to come to the realization like your parents are most likely getting divorced and like you need to be okay with that let them figure it out it'll happen honestly in the next few years and also like you thought you saw something but I wouldn't go to your mom with something that you thought that you saw like and I'm not telling you to snoop and find something legit but if you if you see something if you in your travels you see like legitimate evidence share that with her don't share like a feeling or a thought that you had don't start like a whole ball of gone unless you have like hardcore proof hardcore proof and it sounds like you don't sounds like you have a feeling and like and it sounds like your mom has the same feeling that you have so i don't think there's any need to like yeah if your mom was like had no idea of
Starting point is 00:52:29 anything like then you would feel responsibility but it seems like they have a whole plan they're moving out like right you don't need to make things worse right yeah i totally agree the feeling school no stay out of it yeah all right hyd. HYD, Jackson Claude. Hi there. I've been wanting to bring this up for a while, but my situation never felt big enough to share. One of my coworkers, she named him Elon Musk's son's name, and I honestly don't know how to pronounce it. Let's call him Angel.
Starting point is 00:52:55 One of my coworkers, let's call him Angel, is very creepy towards me. Wait, she wrote XAE12? XAEA-12. That's so funny. That's what she wants to call her coworker. That's funny. Okay, fine. I'll call. No, no, no. One of my coworkers, let's call him XAEA-12, is's what she wants to call her coworker. That's funny. Okay, fine. I'll call.
Starting point is 00:53:05 One of my coworkers, let's call him XAE AE-12, is very creepy towards me. I've always been nice to him because he's a strange human who's more socially awkward than Alex McCord. Wow, that's so weird because we were literally just talking about her. I find that quality endearing, so I befriended him at work to make him feel more comfortable. You sound like such a nice person. Since then, he's been making inappropriate comments and advances towards me. For example, when we were in the office, he complimented my ankles and how he admired the space between my socks and pants. This was in front of my whole team,
Starting point is 00:53:34 and I cringely accepted the comment. Fast forward to today, the same team was in a Zoom meeting, and XAE12 had to share his screen. What do see on his screen a picture of my fucking ankle on his desktop three of them actually i know it's mine because i have a particular scar near my foot should i hide under a rock or do something i'd rather not say anything because it's embarrassing best cankles wow that is something, truly. That is so weird. Like, I'm actually speechless. Like, the optimist in me wants to say,
Starting point is 00:54:18 because when he complimented you on your socks to your pants ratio, like, sometimes people wear, like, say you're wearing socks like I'm wearing with, like, a capri. And, like, on me, that would look, like, terrible but it's a tough look to pull off yeah maybe he was like really into it and like maybe he has a girlfriend and like took a picture to show her like you should try this style oh my god Jackie honestly like I would love for you to ignore this because confrontation is weird but like this really sounds like the beginning of like Colton and Cassie like a lifetime movie he like this is not normal behavior and I'm afraid like it could really turn into something scary and like dangerous and it's just really creepy and I feel
Starting point is 00:54:52 like you have to like tell HR which is just so awkward and so uncomfortable but these are like signs that you shouldn't ignore. Yeah and I just feel like until it's resolved you should just like wear pants that cover your ankles. A hundred percent. You don't want to tempt it. I will literally, I will literally Amazon Prime. We'll send you some like big Ugg boots to cover your ankles, like huge socks because you have to protect yourself. And maybe you have to protect your ankles. There's such, it's literally your Achilles heel.
Starting point is 00:55:22 Like, wow. Yes. It's such a tender. Your ankles are so beautiful that they actually put you in danger. it's such a tender ankles are so beautiful that they actually put you in danger it's such a tender part of your body it reminds me of the movie sleepover when we see um Steve is that his name girl no no her boy the guy that yes Steve Steve when he's in the shower when he's getting in the shower and he drops his boxers and we see his Achilles tendon they just look so vulnerable yeah you have to
Starting point is 00:55:45 protect that and you know what honestly I think it's also your job to like protect the other women in the office so I think that what you should do is like like turn all the air conditioning up really really really cold so that all the women like have to wear furry socks I got it better what you should release like an army of ants and they'll start biting everyone's ankles so everyone will wear like long pants um okay that seems like really dramatic like no or just release a box of ants no i think the air conditioning thing is good or like get a bunch of your female co-workers like matching socks like with monograms on it to be like we should wear these every day to work and like never wash them or like if hr doesn't heed your complaint like you should take up a petition to eat with hr like for a dress code where everyone's angles have to be covered yes like gilead in um handmaid's tale everyone has to wear now like
Starting point is 00:56:32 long dresses and head coverings but the angles could be covered by socks yeah that is what they're there for this is a weird one honestly good luck but don't take it lightly this is like creepy behavior and i feel like it is the start of a bad movie so yeah so look into it yeah protect your ankles um all right next up final one claudia and jackie welcome welcome welcome back to the studio i started dating this guy right before the holidays last december he was tall creative and had a corgi corgi corgi oh my god i was like a what a corgi he had an orgy i feel like people who describe other people as creative are very like interesting people. The people who describe others as creative? Yeah. I've like never like thought once to describe someone as a creative. Oh interesting.
Starting point is 00:57:15 It's just like an interesting adjective to use. Yeah but I also think it's super descriptive and she said he's a creative or he's creative. He was tall creative and had a corgi. I think there's a difference between being creative and being a creative. Like when you're. I think being a creative is like literally the fakest job ever. No yeah I think that when you're like I think people would describe me as creative like in every way I I'm creative. You paint your nails. Yeah my magic like I just I'm creative but I'm not a creative. That is someone who like works in Brooklyn and they have like glasses and they have an iPad where they like make graphic designs on it with a little pen with a little pen thing yeah um that is a creative okay so she started dating this guy last December before the holidays
Starting point is 00:57:57 he was tall creative and had a corgi wait corgi yeah okay it like sounds wrong no corgi sounds wrong so what could really go wrong? Cue the global pandemic. We were only dating for three months when we decided to leave New York City together and come back to my house in Massachusetts to quarantine. We were living in my grandmother's beach house and TBH, she was driving me insane. Desperate to get- All that creativity.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Yeah, yeah. It had nowhere to be funneled. Desperate to get the fuck away from him, I invited slash begged my sister to come and join us on the Cape. As soon as she came down, I realized this guy was not it. Long story short, we eventually brought him back to New York City and a week or so later, I called him to end things. He was not understanding and thought I was cheating on him.
Starting point is 00:58:36 I wasn't. Hello, global pandemic. Not many guys around. But how do you tell someone it's them, not you? Anyway, I sent him back all his stuff plus a birthday present I'd previously ordered for him to his apartment in New York City. I included a return shipping label and a note asking him to return anything i left at his place before the world blew up he is refusing to return my stuff and said that i'm selfish for sending the return label and was clearly never interested in him
Starting point is 00:58:56 but he has a lot of important i have a lot of important he has a lot of important stuff at his place including a pair of my snake skin booties a winter ski jacket a curling iron and a bracelet for my grandmother how do i get the box back i've been deliberately contacting his brother mom or even his brother's girlfriend who i became close with what do i do wow that's really sad like her grandmother's bracelet yeah like this is so petty still on the cape or is she back in the city she didn't say but i actually i think she'll probably today she's back in the city we eventually brought him back to NYC so yeah they all went back okay so I think if you're not getting your stuff and like it's not stuff that you can leave like go with your sister knock on his door and get in there and get your
Starting point is 00:59:33 stuff yeah honestly like and when I get there I would prioritize like as much as your winter ski jacket is important it's not as important as your bracelet from your grandmother what if she can't find it like what if he hid it what What if he threw it away? People do like really evil things when they get hurt. But I'm like, that would be so crazy. And you know what? Let this be a PSA to girls everywhere. Like if you're thinking of breaking up with a partner, like make sure you've been at their house recently
Starting point is 00:59:54 and like take all the important things. Maybe, but you don't want it to seem like you planned this. Like leave like an ugly chunky sweater, but keep like your important jewelry. Yeah, I would agree with that. Like if you know you're not going to see the person ever again, like, go over and clean out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Before you break up. Or, like, maybe even leave the ski jacket, but, like, get the bracelet. Like, something that you truly can't go on without. Honestly, I feel like this girl is most upset about her snake skin booties, not only because she titled, she named it, sorry, she listed it the first one. She also signed it, sincerely, a booty-less toaster. So she's really missing oh my god where are the booties from i mean the worst would be if they're like your
Starting point is 01:00:28 favorite booties and they're from a few seasons ago and you can't get them but check posh marker the real real like you might find them you never know yeah but also just go over there and fucking take your shit back yeah you're never gonna end the relationship if like you're not fully moved out and like yeah like emotion like if you guys were only dating three months into like before quarantine and then like you quarantined together for a little and it wasn't even good like you guys have been broken up for a long time now and like you should be moving on not like thinking about your grandmother's bracelet well we also talk about quarantine relationships a lot and I feel like this is maybe like the least ideal like you met someone and like
Starting point is 01:00:59 you thought it would be like great for you guys to quarantine together and you really didn't know him that well so like once you started quarantining together like you realized he wasn't it like that sounds really really difficult yeah especially like if you're in the cape like because I feel like it's hard to um to get there and like get back oh yeah it's not somewhere you could just commute back and forth especially when there were in a pandemic and there weren't flights so you have to take the ferry and like did you have a car um you already have to take a bus or a train like that's a lot yeah but good luck with that and just just head over there take charge take charge but also bring someone
Starting point is 01:01:30 with you yes of course maybe the police um that is our show again that's dear toasters please write us in dear toasters at gmail.com those ones were great today but we are running low so email us anything we'll always keep it anonymous you can can change people's names. We'll never write you out. Deertoasters at gmail.com. And that is our show. That is our show. We will see you tomorrow. What's on tonight?
Starting point is 01:01:52 Real Housewives of? Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills. Okay. Another reunion. Part three. I believe it's the last one. Wow.
Starting point is 01:01:58 I'm ready for that. I'm ready to put this behind me. We'll be recapping it. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. So thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every day on YouTube, Monday through Friday. So please subscribe to us on YouTube.
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Starting point is 01:02:26 Bye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

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