The Toast - S3 Ep179: The Royal Toast: Friday, October 30th, 2020

Episode Date: October 30, 2020

The Morning Toast with Prince William, Prince Harry and Queen Elizabeth William and Harry's royal rift was sealed by fate - and Diana, says author (Page Six), Prince Charles Felt Dad Prince Philip 'Pushed' Him Into Marrying Princess Diana, Royal Biographer Says (US Weekly) 'Jost Married!' Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost Tie the Knot in Intimate Ceremony (PEOPLE) Jonas Brothers read for the holidays with new song 'I Need You Christmas' (NY Post) Kanye West gave Kim Kardashian a hologram of her dad for her birthday (Page Six) Grimes Reveals Her 5-Month-Old Son with Elon Musk Is 'Into Radical Art': 'He Just Actually Is' (PEOPLE) Keeping Up With The Kardashians Recap Southern Charm RecapSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, millennials! Good morning, brother! Good morning, brother! Good morning, grandmother! Good morning, my grandsons. You are looking ravishing this morning, grandmother. Thank you, you as well. You look so beautiful, grandmother.

We are so happy to see you. Thank you for having me. The most beautiful... I can't keep the accent, it's so loud. You are the most radiant woman in all of Great Britain. Thank you for having me. The most beautiful. I can't keep the accent. It's so loud. You are the most radiant woman in all of Great Britain. Thank you. So radiant, grandmother.

That's what they tell me. Yes. We love you so much, grandmother. You, brother, are another story. Oh, I'm another story. Broke the family apart. Disrespected the crown. And I'm the problem.

Grandmother, can you believe this? What bullocks! Bloody hell, Grandmother! Bloody hell, you know that's not what happened. That's exactly what happened, my Harry. Grandmother, whose side are you on? Harry, William, but I still love you. Harry, why don't you go back to Canada,

or whatever it is you're... Los Angeles. Yeah, gallivanting around the country while your duties wait for you at home. Don't you miss your duties? No, I have enough duties on my own. Well, just know all of us back home are picking up the slack where you and your wife left us.

I'm sorry, brother. I'm sorry, but I couldn't do it anymore. Yeah. I couldn't do it anymore. Do you know how much... Do you know how much I would give to be you? No responsibility. No care in the world.

Do you know how much I would give to be you? To be the heir, not the spare. Oh, what I would give to be the spare. Let's switch. The prince switch. Good morning, everyone, in case you haven't noticed. The Windsor family is coming to you live and in living color from the Toast Studios. Happy Halloween, everyone.

Woo-hoo! Happy Halloween. Happy Toasterween. Grandmother, we love you. We got the snitch in studio. Give it up for Grandmother! Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo- bitch how do you do you are being fucking crazy like you know when you put on a costume and like it kind of gets to you like harry's getting to you and like i didn't know what kind of harry i was gonna be but i just feel like this like party boy early 2000s where i'm just

like grandmother let's fuck this shit up oh my god you're definitely channeling like early 2000s Harry. No, this is not Meghan Markle Harry. This is not like new fatherhood Harry. No, no, no, no, no. It's really like. Yeah. We have Archie right there. You're really like the rebel Harry face.

Rebel without a cause. Well, we hope you guys enjoy our costumes. This is now year four. Year four. Wow, that's crazy. Yep. And honestly, this is my favorite one yet. I'm just like really feeling my look, like my linen suit. Honestly, the linen suit is like a vibe on you. No, I know. I was like,

I'm gonna save this suit for Zach to try on. Yeah, to a wedding on the beach or something. No, it's really a vibe. I see why he enjoys it so much. Yeah, no, fabulous, fabulous, bloody fabulous. Brother, you look fabulous in your royal gob. Well, as you know, part of being the next heir to the throne is my royal duties in the Air Force. I know you know nothing about that, brother, seeing as how you spent your formative years in Las Vegas. But I have actually spent lots of time in the Air Force, and it has been one of the most, if not the, gratifying experience of my life. Kate and I are—C Catherine and I are honored to have been a part of the Air Force. It's quite a wonderful organization. I'm happy for you

brother. Know that I am. Okay. Grandmother in studio. Grandmother, is this your first podcast? Good question. It is. Yeah, so we've got Queen Elizabeth on the podcast, just like a little spectacular. Gran, what are your thoughts on the podcasting medium? I think it's great. I think it's a little saturated. However, just like a little bit spectacular. Gran, what are your thoughts on the podcasting medium?

I think it's great. I think it's a little saturated. However, I think that it's great. I think this is a great one. Gran just shading us. Gran just shook up the industry. Gran! Gran!

Gran! Well, we of course are delivering the Fast Five. We're giving you a regular show today. Just in our royal garb. And you know, royal. This is the thing about royalty. And as William would say, like, it's just something you're born into. Like, it's not a choice. It's a lifestyle.

Yeah. And I definitely feel that way. Like, I was meant to be royal. The royal life chooses you. You don't choose it. And it chose me. And I said, no thank you, brother. Peace out, brother. That's exactly what you said. You I said no thank you brother. It's out brother.

That's exactly what you said. You said not today brother. Not today. Well we you know I actually think it might be beneficial for Harry to hear what's been going on at Buckingham Palace since he's been departed for Canada. Yes grandmother how has your quarantine been? It's been lovely. I've had a lot of kettle. I mean, a lot of tea. And, you know, I just chilled with the staff. And to be quite honest, the palace has, how do you Americans say, a better vibe? Je ne sais quoi.

Je ne sais quoi. Without you and Megan, you know, stinking up the place. Wow, brother. Well, the drama. Well, Los Angeles has a great vibe for me, brother. I'm in Hollywood, bitch. Well, brother, all I can say is that your presence is not missed and the palace is doing better, great, without you.

And that's all we invited you here to say, brother. Good. Well, when I left the palace, that's all that I wanted. I wanted the best for everyone everyone including me and my family how was the the little champ by the way oh he's such a cute sweet crunchy angel boy the man yes man archie so crunchy he actually is really cute he's really cute yeah he's really cute that's your great great grandson. And brother? And brother. Would you like to ask how my children are? How is the family? The future heir to the thrones.

How is the family, brother? The family is just delightful. You know, Kate is just popping them out left and right, even though I didn't even know we had sex still, but she's just popping them out left, right, left, right. It's fucking wild. And the kids, they're just getting so big and so annoying, and I just don't know what to do because I'm from Africa now the accent's very hard it was hard to stay in it when you're so I literally go

from like British to French to Australian Australian I feel like part like the Brits are very state like not very emotional so when I'm just like popping yeah I just become like a cowboy no Irish yeah like it's really hard not to just automatically become Southern. Like even though the regions are just not that close. No, they're not. But you are the Prince of Wales. Well, the people of Welsh, no, the Welsh people are some of my favorite. What a wonderful providence.

I actually... Province? Province. And I don't know if father ever told you this story because he hates you and he probably didn't but he actually gave a speech in Wales in Welsh and it was one of the most defining moments of his career the Welsh are very proud people brother yes I would expect nothing less you sound like Drake and Josh

hug me brother hug me grandmother Grandma can I have a hug hug sure okay later you come here um we actually have a great show because we have fast five stories and Southern charm started last night as did keeping up with the Kardashians so we've been keeping up with them Kardashian girls and very interesting yes I've heard you and Megan are really trying to cozy up to that Hollywood scene. Yes, yes. We've met Kim before.

Very beautiful woman. Yes, very beautiful. Very, uh... How do you Americans say, uh... How do we say? What do we say? How do you Americans say, she's very, uh, hot. Oh.

Hot. Hot. I quite enjoy the Kardashian girls. Brother, if you actually do end up becoming acquaintances with her, do let me know. I'll have to make a visit to the States. Okay, brother. Okay, so I think maybe without further ado, we should dive in. Yeah, let's dive in.

It's the Toasterween. We've got some great stories for you today. So without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite of your morning toast, brother I can't And today's episode is brought to you by Palmer's new Hemp Oil Calming Relief Body Oil Palmer's new Hemp Oil Calming Relief Body Oil is hypoallergenic and dermatologist approved

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fall 2020 make sure to check out the new hemp oil calming relief body lotion from palmos palmers sorry literally just a fabulous brand that like if you just want your skin taken care of in every single possible way you should definitely check out i love the calming relief oil from palmers because i'm very stressed brother me too brother what do you have to be stressed about would you look at me i don't have any bloody hair i'm not talking to you i don't have any bloody hair grandmother and you won't pay for the hair plugs. So what the fuck am I supposed to do, grandmother? Have the taxpayers pay for them. Oh my god, bloody hell. I've been balding since the time I was 12.

Nobody in this fucking palace seems to give a shit. You don't have any money? No, grandmother. You hold the keys to my fortune. And I can't go. I've been trying to fly to Turkey. Ask your father. I've been trying to fly to Turkey. Ask your father. I've been trying.

Ask your father. I've been trying to fly to Turkey for the last three years to get a special hair plug procedure, but nobody in this fucking Cam family cares about anything other than bloody Harry and his bloody fucking drama. Ask your father. Jesus. Sorry to take the Lord's name in vain, Grandmother, but I'm upset. Brother, get a job. Oh.

Do some Instagram sponsorships like the rest of us. Oh, not all of us can just rub elbows with Bob Iger and make a $50 million deal for our wives. Some of us obey the rules. Well, brother, look where it got you. Bald. That's so mean. No, I just feel like William's definitely deeply insecure about his hair. Nobody takes him seriously.

He can get it fucking fixed, okay? No, but he can't at this point because then everyone knows that he had it fixed. It's too late. No, but then he'd be a speaker for people. I think he looks great. He'd be a speaker for hair plugs. I'm not really hating the bald look on me. No, I think you look great.

I think he looks great. I think I look fabulous. Sorry, brother. I didn't mean to. It's not very royal of me. I apologize. I know you don't care about being royal, but some of us still do. Excuse me.

I'm the Duke of Sussex, bitch. Not anymore. Not anymore. Still, I got that trademark. No, you don't. No, you can't use it. Stay tuned for merch drop. Ah!

Oh! Okay, first story is about us, brother. What is the british tabloid saying about us again the press is saying our royal rift was sealed by fate and diana and you know brother that makes me feel better because this was destiny what are you saying what's the story brother prince harry and prince william were once the closest of friends. They were for each other through thick and thin. Those were the days, bruv-a. Those were the days.

Charmingly choosing to rent a cottage together while training to become helicopter pilots in 2009. That's so cute and steamy. Yeah. Quote, I do a fair bit of tidying up after him. He snores a lot, too. He keeps me up all night long, William had said at the time. Just over a decade later jokes are on thin ground with William in London and Harry in Montecito there are 5,500 miles between

them they're also in incredibly different head spaces quote the rift gets more serious with every passing day British historian Robert Lacey told the post of the feud that caught fire after Harry and wife Megan quit the house of Windsor in March. So the rift is just, it's astronomical. How do we come back from this, brother? How do we come back to each other, brother? If I'm going to be quite honest, I'm happy, brother, on a very serious note, I'm very happy for you, but I just feel as though you owe the crown an apology. Well, brother, I've been watching the crown, and I agree. Those the crown and I agree bloody Americans I agree the crown is a wonderful institution grandmother you are an icon

everything of the sort and I'm sorry if I let you down but I had to do what was best for my family and I'm sorry that that was not what was best for this family but the monarchy is most important I know the You have to protect the monarchy. I will, Gran. No, you won't. I'll protect the monarchy from Montecito, I swear. I'm sorry, brother. I hope we can be close again, even though you just touched your nose. Brother, I do. I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm afraid it's too late so the rift runs deeper

the rift runs deeper the historian was right i just i hope that you know 100 years from now the monarchy is not permanently changed because of your actions and i just i don't know how you sleep at night i sleep quite well thank you with pommas how do I understand I understand your concern but I had to do what was best for my family and I'll leave it at that brother okay also little royal news about mom and dad Prince Charles felt dad Prince Philip pushed him into marrying Princess Diana the royal biographer says this came out today and honestly this doesn't sound like news. I think we all knew that, especially if you watch The Crown, but also if you just, like, are on this earth. If you just, like, are, have a brain.

He wanted to marry Camilla Parker-Boltz. He couldn't. He married Diana. Things didn't go well. He eventually married Camilla. But I guess that's news because this royal biography is saying that he told some of his friends that he felt pressurized into marrying Diana because Philip said, you've either got to marry her or let her go.

You can't string a young girl along. She's only 19. You can't string her along. That's actually good advice, though. That is good advice, and I think that's literally exactly what we'll see in this season of The Crown, premiering November 15th.

Ooh, I got to catch up. Speaking of royal... You are the crowned grandmother. It's in your head. Yeah. Speaking of royal autobiographies, brother, I meant to tell you I had a chance to read your

non-affiliated autobiography, Founding Freedom. And I just have to say, what a... Crook of shit. Crook of poo. Yeah. Of poo. Real, how do you Americans say,

propaganda. I don't know why my accent keeps going in and out. Yes, brother, propaganda. I don't know why my accent keeps going in and out. Like, um, it was like... Yes, brother, I know. But I had to get my story out there. Yes, I understand. Feels like a gang up on Harry. Well, welcome to the royal family, bitch.

Yeah. Well, you've been gone for so long, brother, we haven't had an opportunity to, uh, talk to you about all the drummings and the Cirque du Soleil around your family and your name. Gran, you said a swear word. Gran said a swear word. Gran said a swear word.

Gran, that's a nickel in the swear jar. Yeah, Gran. A nickel towards your hair plugs. A nickel. Okay, next story. Some big news in my country of America. Jost married Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost tie the knot in an intimate ceremony. Scarlett and Colin Jost have officially said, I do.

The couple tied the knot in an intimate ceremony over the weekend. The Instagram account for Meals on Wheels America announced on Thursday. Right. That's what I'm confused about. So Meals on Wheels broke the story, saying, We're thrilled to break the news that Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost were married over the weekend in an intimate ceremony with their immediate family and loved ones following COVID-19 safety precautions as directed by the CDC. Their wedding wish is to help make a difference for vulnerable older

adults during this difficult time by supporting Meals on Wheels America. Please consider donating to celebrate the happy couple by clicking the link in our bio. So they let Meals on Wheels make the announcement so that Meals on Wheels would get press and more donations. Okay, it seems bizarre because like literally two of the richest people in the world, like, why don't you just give the money to Wheels on Wheels? Well, I'm going to assume that they donated, but then they're also just using this opportunity for philanthropic cause. And as someone who's very steeped in philanthropy...

Yes, your book made sure to mention that 25 times. I think this is a wonderful idea. Congratulations to the Joests. Yeah. Brothers trying to get them invited to the next party. I want to host SNL, Colin. Let me on. I'll show you a real party,

Colin. Honestly, I feel like that could happen. 100%. I think I would be fabulous. Let me on, Colin. I'll show you a real party. We'll party like the crown. By the way, that's definitely like a remote possibility in the next five years.

At least Meghan Markle. Oh, we could do it together. Honestly, I feel like we're more likely to see Harry than we are to see Meghan. She could perform. I could sing my favorite song. What's your favorite song, brother? What's your favorite song, brother? What's your favorite song, brother? Hey, brother. There's an endless world to rediscover.

Oh, that's Avicii. What's her talent? Hey, sister. Hey, Grammy. Your face looks fucking crazy. Hey, brother. Make a fucking bop, Gran. Oh my god, your face looks

fucking nuts. Oh my god. Oh man. My stomach hurts, Gran. Gran, I have to go party. Gran, do you have some Pepto-Bismol? Gran. No, ask the butler.

Oh my god. This is too funny. Well, congratulations to the Joes. Can't wait to see you in New York when I'm be traveling there. You're like this thirsty prince. Like, literally like, you're using every story as, like, come to my house in Montecito, Colin. Like, you're being fucking crazy.

We'll crack some jokes, man. Yes, Colin, I've got lots of jokes for setting in our lives. Oh, my God. The thirsty prince. The thirsty prince. Well, not Prince Nomar. The thirsty Duke of Sussex. Not even. Not even. The thirstyirsty Prince. The Thirsty Prince. Well, not Prince Nomar. The Thirsty Duke of Sussex. Not even.

Not even. The Thirsty American Citizen. The Thirsty Commoner. That's literally what you are. Commoner. Can't relate. Can't relate. Commoner.

I live in a palace. Okay, next story about some other brothers. We love brothers. We love the Jonas Brothers. Oh, you know, the Jonas Brothers played at a state dinner. Oh, you must have missed it because you were out dressing up as a Nazi. Yes, that's what you were doing. Yes, yes, yes. How could we forget? But that weekend, the Jonas Brothers, they were big in America. Big. Big. What are you doing?

Quite large. Large, thank you. It's hard to say big in a British accent. Large in America at the time. They were these very talented young brothers. And yes, you were busy, like I said, dressing up as a Nazi in a hotel room in Las Vegas, but you miss the state dinner where... Dinner where the Jonas Brothers performed. Gran quite enjoyed them, right, Gran?

Quite enjoyed them. It was a lovely evening. Lovely. What's your favorite song, Gran? I like Burning Up. Gran, and you also like that new one. There's forever you. Oh, Rollercoaster?

Rollercoaster. That was Sucker. Yeah, Sucker, that's one. This is for you. Oh, Rollercoaster? Rollercoaster. That was Sucker. Yeah, Sucker. That's the one you like, Gran. No, I like Rollercoaster. You play it at night. I know what I like. I know what I like.

Gran, I'm telling you, we've got it on vinyl for you. Oh, Gran, for your gramophone. But yes, like I said. Gramophone? Looks like it where you play a record. Gramophone, right. Yes, but Harry, he wasn't there. Where was he?

Oh, right, yes. He was dressing up as a Nazi in Las Vegas. Must you continue to bring that up, brother? I just couldn't remember why you weren't at the state dinner. And then I remembered, oh, right, it's because you were dressing up as a Nazi. I'm sorry. You must have been hanging out with granddaddy Philip too much. Shade.

Well, our favorite other brothers, the Jonas Brothers, are ready for the holidays with a new song, I Need You Christmas. It's so good. It's so good. Christmas came early for the Jonas Brothers fans, including Queen Eliza Snitch. The band of brothers released a nostalgic-dripped Christmas ballad Thursday called I Need You Christmas, the lyrics of which celebrate the kind of joy 2020 could really use right now. It's really good. It's hard to make original Christmas music. Pretty much everyone just puts out like an album of covers. They did one last year too. It's really good this one. I

really enjoyed it. You know their faces were all in the ornaments for the promo. Oh yeah. Oh my god I can't remember. Yeah but this one's good. I think this one might make the Jackie Ho Ho Ho playlist. Oh what a prestigious honor. Yes. I like the song a lot. Nick actually sounds very good on it. You know I take any opportunity to jab at Nick but he sounds really good. Yeah. I'm just harking back to toaster weens of years past where the Jonas Brothers were on this show. We're on the same show where the Jonas Brothers were on this show. We're on the same show that the Jonas Brothers were once on, brother.

Gran, who's your favourite brother? Joe. Joe. Because I love Sophie Turner. Oh, were you a fan of the Game of Thrones, mother? Not that she is the crown jewel of this country, Gran. Truly making Great Britain proud all across the US. We love Sophie.

We love Sophie. We love Sophie. We do love. And we love that show, don't we, Gran? We used to watch together. No, we didn't. Before you left the family for good. Well, that was after the finale. I said, why would I stay here?

There's nothing to watch on TV. There's nothing left for me here. No more Sundays with Gran. I'm gone. Gran, what do you say we get a spot of tea after this? Harry, sorry, I know you can't come, but Gran, spot of tea? I would love one. Maybe some...

Crumpets? Yes. Yes, I'll have the butler. I'll let them know. I'm hungry too, Gran. Could I have a... You don't get to eat. Don't they have McDonald's where you're from?

Yes, and it's very good. Thank you for reminding me. I'm going to go for a McFlurry. Okay, next story. Next story. This is actually really beautiful. Kanye West gave Kim Kardashian a hologram of her dad for her birthday. Holograms are the new candy gram.

Kim Kardashian revealed that husband Kanye surprised her with an unusual present for her 40th birthday this week. A hologram message from her deceased father, Robert Kardashian. Kim announced the gift on Twitter calling it the most thoughtful gift of a lifetime and a special surprise from heaven. It is so lifelike she added we watched it over and over filled with emotion. Robert who died in 2003 says you're 40 and all grown up. You look beautiful just like when you were a little girl. I watch you and your sisters and brothers and the kids every day. Well you know know, I saw a lot of people being like,

this is so weird. Like, please don't ever do this for my birthday. And even Meghan McCain was like this. And you know, Meghan McCain is very vocal about like grieving her dad. And she was like, honestly, like nobody, please don't ever do this for me. Like, it's so weird.

I think it's so nice. But see, the thing is, is that the Kardashians lost their dad at like a similar age that we did. And it's like, honestly, when you lose your dad at a young age and it's literally been so long, like you literally forget like what they look like and like their mannerisms. So I could see how people would think that this is weird,

but I actually think we relate to the Kardashians. And I think that this is actually very cool because so much time has passed and you were so young and like you didn't get that much time with them. Like Meghan McCain lost her dad now. Like she's, I don't know how old she is, but she's in her 30s. Like that's a lot of time. Whereas like Kim and everyone, they lost their dad when they were like 15, 16. So that's like when we did. And you like literally don't know how old she is, but she's in her 30s. Like, that's a lot of time. Whereas, like, Kim and everyone, they lost their job when they were, like, 15, 16. So that's, like, when we did.

And you, like, literally don't remember them. So, like, a hologram is, like, crazy. Crazy. When I first read the headline, I was like, oh, this is going to be weird. And then I watched the video and I was just, like, thinking of what that would be like. For us. If it were for us. And, like, that would be the most amazing thing.

Especially because, like, people who have lost their parents as adults. Like, your parent has, like, met your partner. Met your, hopefully like met your partner met your hopefully met your kids like you have pictures of them on your phone like where your life is now and has told you that they're proud of you but if you've lost a parent like 10 15 20 years ago and then they literally are being brought to life and like right in the sweetest things i think that this is like the most amazing gift ever like literally a gift from heaven and it did seem extremely lifelike yeah no I thought it was so sweet and like people were like making fun of it I just feel like Kim's having a bad week but I loved it I thought it was so sweet and like I understood exactly why she thought it was so special yeah like honestly it's the most creative

gift I've ever 100% heard of and people aren't some people they're not here for it and I actually can understand that because when I saw the headline I was like nah but in practice I think it's an amazing gift I agree it's not it's truly not for everyone no but I think there are people who would absolutely appreciate it so if anyone wants to make me a hologram let me know how much do you think that is I don't know I feel like he just has hologram technology in his studio right like put it towards this and like Elon Musk just like came over and programmed it yeah like I think it was free yeah like you make hologram technology in his studio and just like put it towards this. And like Elon Musk just like came over and programmed it. Yeah. Like I think it was free. Yeah like you make holograms of like artists on tour you can you know he probably just went into that studio like booked some time and made a hologram. But I guess like I don't know I don't understand how they can like get his like

mannerisms and his voice. And yeah and his like language. Right. And saying like things. Poofy. Yeah I'm sure they used old videos and stuff. It really is interesting. You know, I thought it was really sweet and very cool and I liked it.

I liked it too. I understand not for everyone, but I'm here for it. Me too. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? A fifth and final? Yeah.

Fifth and final. Yeah, bruv. Let's do it, bruv. Because someone you mentioned, Elon Musk, Grimes, reveals her five-month-old son with Elon Musk is into radical art. He just actually is. No, Elon Musk, Grimes, reveals her five-month-old son with Elon Musk is into radical art.

He just actually is. No, I mean, I too. What's radical art? As grandmother, at five months, I was into literature. That's why I'm going to be the next king and not you. But literature, radical art, like lots of... Well, Elon, I think this is fabulous. If you want to give me a call let's

talk about it the thirsty prince strikes again grimes has a mini art critic on her hands the singer revealed that her son at nearly six months old is already forming his own opinions in an interview with the new york times arguing that babies do have taste she said that they definitely like some things they don't like other things they fully have opinions i do agree with that but i wouldn't necessarily like call actually i think i would call kaylor an art critic so that's what i was gonna say so our niece mckayla is similar age as a ex 12 angel 52 97 81 and she calls him x for short by the way got it um i think that mckayla is definitely showing signs of extreme interest in radical art and literature and poetry and cinema. And I believe that five-month-olds are definitely, while they may not articulate their interests,

they definitely have very strong views on radical art. I agree. Like, my son Archie, he's a radical art critic as well. If you want to get the kids together, Elon, maybe we could talk shop. Shop, shop, shop. Brother, I can tell you're losing your British accent quite a bit ever since journeying over to the States. Yes, the States have been very influential on me.

Howdy, y'all. I'm Prince Harry. How y'all doing? It's me, Prince Harry, all the way from Cambridge. Now living in Montecito. It's me, Prince Harry, all the way from Cambridge. Now living in Montecito. It's fabulous. How's Montecito? Oh, brother, you've got to come this time of year. It is fabulous.

None of that British rain and sludge. We've got sunshine and bikinis. You've got sunshine and poor air quality, so I hope you enjoy that, brother. Thank you, brother. Nothing like the British small... Always raining on my parade. No wonder you're a Brit, always raining. Hey, Gran, how you doing, Gran?

Gran, it's Gran. It's Gran. Fabulous. I'm hungry. Me too, Gran. I'm hungry too, Gran. Gran, please join me after this. Gran, don't worry, we'll get a spot of tea after this and I'll take care of you. I'll get you biscuits and crump. Gran, please join me after this. Gran, don't worry.

We'll get a spot of tea after this and I'll take care of you. I'll get you biscuits and crumpets and all the things you like. Scones. Those little blueberry scones that they make down at the bakery. I know you like those, Gran. Yes, I do. Gran, could I come, please? Gran, I'm so hungry.

I don't think so. No. It's Royals only. It's Royals stuff, yeah. Gran! Sorry, brother. I could use a spot of stuff, yeah. Grant! Sorry, brother. I couldn't use a spot of tea, please. But you could try serious.

Why don't you go get a coffee? Yeah, yeah. Oh, Grant. Why don't you go with your New York friends and get some coffee, Harry? Oh, Grant, please. Grant. Grant. Let's move into our TV recap segment.

Yes, let's move right into it. I've been watching a lot of TV in America. They've got fabulous shows. The reality TV that we was on last night was Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Southern Charm started. Yes, I watched Kardashians first. So let's start there. Okay, I watched Southern Charm first.

So, bruvva, how do we know who gets to go first? Oh, bruvva, it's an age-old question between us. Keeping Up with the Kardashians. It was really good, actually. Yes. I feel like in a lot of ways it felt felt like a PSA for, like, coronavirus. You know what I mean? It really did.

And it was virtually filmed, which is so crazy. But they did an amazing job with the two camera angles. And then they had interviews that they clearly, like, filmed in their homes months later. And I thought they did such a good job. Like, I didn't feel like I was watching, like, a torturous virtual experience. I totally agree. I thought tech-wise tech wise it was really really well done and how much like they were willing to show because like Kim was literally with the four kids Kanye was quarantined and I don't think she had any of her staff so she was literally like taking care of all four kids full

time while they were in school and still managed to film and then Khloe's like literally on death's door and she's still managing to film too but it's like where was Kourtney? You know? Yeah. Oh I guess. Then they show like Kourtney and Scott went to Palm Springs. Yeah. With the kids. Which was cute.

And it's nice to see them like together. And like put some like pieces together with the headlines. Of like Kourtney and Scott are quarantined together. Like what does this mean? It means that they both love their kids and want to spend time with them. I loved like seeing so much of Khloe's bedroom. Like it's literally the most beautiful bedroom. I thought the same thing. Dream bedroom. I'm like I felt bad that she was so sick and literally couldn't leave her room but I'm like of all the places to be quarantined like

her live her bedroom has like a living room off the side and then like her I'm sure her master bathroom is so sick like I was obsessed with her room too like her bed looks so comfortable so comfortable she's really like has a nice decorating style. I feel like her decor is like the most... Unique. No, I feel like Kim's is like super unique, but Khloe's is like

the most livable and like where you would actually want to live. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kylie also though. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, Kylie jumped in.

We got a little bit of Kylie. Yeah. Yeah. It was like kind of lame. No, and it's also like, give me something or don't. Yeah, and she already like shared that on Snapchat.

Like that was a story like that she had said that she had to quarantine for her pregnancy but by the way kim literally looked so beautiful like running around calabasas like just walking over to her mom's house and like walking around her house like while the kids were in school like her face and her hair like she looked so stunning yeah she really did she really does it all i liked the episode because i felt like it really symbolized what a lot of people were going through in quarantine which is like one being lonely two like worrying worrying so deeply about like your older family members like when they were just like worried for MJ because like she had

already been quarantined for two months because of her hip surgery and now she wasn't gonna be able to leave and like they were just like crying and Chris was like please call MJ today like it's so sad and that's what like a lot of people were dealing with I feel like they actually did a really good job of like capturing the like the vibe of what lockdown was especially like the first week yeah the first few weeks like really missing your family yeah and feeling lonely yeah but when Kim was like should we go to Wyoming like because she had a house like that is just the vibe like to be able to be like, should we just, like, go to Wyoming? But they didn't. No, I know. Because of, Kanye couldn't fly. Mm-hmm.

And neither could MJ. Yeah. But when MJ finally got to Palm Springs, I felt like a wave of. I knew. I was like, she should stay there. Yeah. Like, they just went for lunch, I feel like. Like, I don't think she was moving in.

Like, I think just Chris was just getting her out of the house for, like, a day. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't think she was staying there. But feel like she should have me too I don't know she probably has all her things at home like and likes her yeah and I feel like the older you get like everyone worries about you in your house but like you actually like being home yeah yeah well I thought it was a great episode I felt so bad for Chloe you could actually tell like when she was starting to feel better like she was literally you know when you get like really sick or like you're really really not feeling well and then like you feel so much better, like she was literally, you know, when you get like really sick or like, you're really, really not feeling well.

And then like, you feel so much better. And like, you are literally so grateful to God, like for this gift. Yeah. She like, she was becoming like a preacher.

She was like, God bless us all. The Lord brought me out of this. Like, I know that feeling when you're in so much pain and you don't know, like if you're going to die and like, God brings you out of it, you become a woman of God.

And like, literally Chloe was like, praise be like, God bless us all. Yeah. She said that like a million of God. And like literally Khloe was like, praise be. May God bless us all. Yeah. She said that like a million times. And like I knew exactly what she meant. I can't believe how bad she got it.

I know. Like right at the beginning. And she didn't even go to Paris. Like she was like being super careful. And it was crazy how they were like, Kanye and Khloe were so sick. Like so, so sick. And they were like, maybe it's Corona. Now it's like if you have those symptoms,

like duh, finished. But it was very dramatic like kim kardashian west test negative yes kanye west positive chloe kardashian positive it was really like eerie yeah very eerie really good episode really well done filming i think some of the best quarantine content if not the best i agree i agree and good for kim and chloe once again for putting the show on their backs right even when chloe was literally on death's door right like she literally just set up a camera like 24 hours in her room while she was being like miserable it's not like she turned it on to like go cough in her bed like she was just like letting herself be filmed like being so sick totally um and then southern charm was back and you know what i

actually thought it was like a great episode it's it is. Yeah. And I love that new guy. Like I really ship him in Madison. I know. Okay. So we need to talk about there's new, is he a new cast member? Was that like announced? Yes. There's two. Yes. And that girl who's friends with Cameron. Yes. And so this is what I think happened because I remember her from other seasons and like, she's really like one of Cameron's best friends. And I think Cameron brought her on the show and was like come on the show and it was like great and then I think like Cameron was supposed to do this season but heard that like it was starting off with like Catherine talking about her husband having an affair and she was like nope I'm done with this show like fuck this yeah and that's why her friend's on it but

she's not and that's why they were like is Cam coming to the party because like they weren't sure they wouldn't ask that about someone who's not a cast member anymore i agree but they thought she was still going to be a cast member and it's clear that she decided like once they started filming like no no i'm not doing this anymore and even though like katherine was so wrong to say those things especially if they're not true and even if they are true like it's just not her business like i understand why katherine is i'm sorry no i'm 100 on team katherine like i understand why Catherine is. I'm sorry. No, I'm 100% on team Catherine. Like I understand why Catherine will be mad at Cameron forever.

To the day she dies. And by the way, I don't know if those rumors are true, but I heard them too. And it was like maybe a year ago, probably around the time that this was filming. Like I heard all that. There were all those like Instagrams of people being like, I met her husband, whatever.

Like there were legitimate rumors. And like, why does cameron get protected when literally katherine's rehab her custody her relationship with thomas none of them none of that got protected like it was literally all put on display and cameron was like the self in in she put herself in charge of like the moral compass of the show so like she was the narrator and like whatever she said goes honestly she liked you liked whoever's like she was against you were against you she literally i'm so team katherine so much of the dislike against and she did apologize yeah and she knows that and like we all know that but i never got her ass handed to her in the way that she deserved to in the way that she handed it to so many people

even though like we love her and she's like so funny and she is such a great person like she was real she really went really hard on k for a number of years and now Catherine and she was wrong now Catherine can finally get her revenge and I don't like think that that's how it should go an eye for an eye but I understand why Catherine feels that way 100% no I was actually like I'm like go like the way that she did it more intentionally whereas like Cameron the way what she did to Catherine was like over many years and was way more sneaky but I don't know part of me just like did not feel bad at all like yeah sorry first of all this is what it's like on a reality show and be especially this type of reality show where people's dirty laundry has been aired for years and most of it was Catherine's

yeah I understand my Catherine like I I wouldn't have done it but I understand my Catherine didn't care and Catherine was just gonna say she looks great Catherine has finally embraced a middle part and I'm so excited about it yeah and when they were flashing back to like the things that Catherine has Cameron has said about Catherine they didn't even really choose the worst ones they just like chose ones where she was like not interested in Catherine drama but like she was very hard on Catherine for so many years I agree 100% so that's how I feel about that I think Craig is like literally the world's best friend like he's able to be a friend to Catherine and Cameron at the same time um and I think everything that he did in that situation was right like he knew

that this shouldn't come up on camera like he's and he told that to Catherine yeah he's telling Cameron what's happening I think he's doing a great job what I like about Southern Charm is that like I really genuinely like most of the cast yeah me too and honestly like I was really hating Shep last season but I feel like he's having like a come to Jesus moment he's in a relationship he started therapy like he like he was such an asshole last season especially to Madison and then that Instagram story thing I can't believe they put that in the show like yeah he was just obviously like in a bad place in his life and I like love that they're addressing it head-on and it seems like he's really like in a good place with like this

very normal girl who's like bringing him down to earth yeah no I I look forward to watching the rest of that journey also oh this is what I was gonna say I genuinely like most of the cast and the people who like I've hated are gone me too like Ashley yep Landon, Thomas. I thought seeing Thomas. Was chills. Chilling. Yes. It was so eerie. Yes. And he's part of the cast now from what I've heard.

Really? Yeah. I thought like, or maybe not like a full cast member, but like he's going to be on the show. And I just think that is so weird. I think it's wrong. I think it's wrong. And it was so weird to see him. And the other person who I fucking hate, who never got what was deserved on the guess patricia no oh we should talk about her jd oh agreed but he was also never

a full-time cast member no but like he did so much damage and so much shit talking and another one who just went so hard on katherine and then all his chickens came to roost yeah and we never saw it on the show it was just like in chareston press. Like that he's literally like bankrupt and a fraud and like a literal piece of shit. And like a predator. Yeah. So that like, I'm glad that all the people that I really don't like are gone. It makes it much more pleasant to watch. To watch a bunch of people who like, I actually think are good people.

And I love Madison and Austin. I don't know if they're endgame because like when she was just talking to that guy and like they have kids and it's like, it's true. Like, and Patricia said it really well well like Austin is a frat boy and like yes Madison is just in a different place in her life like she has kids and she's really so mature like even just watching her morning routine with her kid like my god she's so busy and Austin still asleep like I actually feel what Patricia was saying yes I feel like what she was saying too and I want to see where this goes maybe it it will, even if, I do sort of think Madison and Austin are endgame.

They like can't quit each other. Yeah. And she's like such a smart girl. She just loves him. So, but maybe her, you know, wandering off with like this guy will inspire Austin to step it up. Yeah.

But like we've been waiting for Austin to, we've been waiting for all these dudes, like step it up, like since we met them. But Craig is stepping it up. I was just going to say that. Shep is trying to step it up. Yep agree so yeah Patricia I just hate her like I just don't understand why this older woman is why was she at Shep's party again she was like where's the catering I'm like this is a fucking party where people get blacked out Patricia you want

to go out to dinner go across the street to the steakhouse but like that's not what it is like she like her being at that party makes no sense like and her like having parties at her house dinner parties at her house where literally every person there's 30 years old like makes no sense and I just think like if we're not gonna you know at least talk about how weird it is then I can't get on board I feel like you and I always talk about how weird it is and it's like finally she's coming around but she is another one who was so, so horrible about Catherine. And Catherine has forgiven her and they've moved on and they have a friendship. But I just feel like so much, so many people in this cast were just on the wrong side of

history. I know. And I don't know how Catherine works with them. Like they're so evil. I know. But you know, Catherine's not perfect either. So it's that. And they're really all seem to be like actually friends.

Yeah. And that's why the show really works. I thought it was a good episode. It looks like it's going to be a really good season. One person who left who I miss is Chelsea. Yeah. I really liked her. And Naomi.

And Naomi. But I understand. Like I understand. I actually respect people who know when to walk away. Agreed. Like tinsley. Like, you know, there's a time for everything. And there's also a time to say goodbye. And so. And so and for you apparently that was this year when you decided to move to

Canada. Yes 2020 has been a crazy one hasn't it been brother? Well honestly at Buckingham Palace it's been relatively unchanged seeing as how the staff has all been quarantined with us and we're really living at regular regular pace although a lot of our state visits have been derailed which has been lovely for Gran and i were spending lots of time in the garden drinking tea she's gotten very very close with katherine my wife i don't know if you know her um and it's just been wonderful for the family we've never been closer wouldn't you agree gran it's true well i've never been closer with my family brother so i'm glad we're all living the lives that we so choose yes i, yes, I agree, brother.

And you know, after all is said and done, family's family. Family is family. Put her there. Oh, brother. Oh, clammy! Oh, my God. You've got a lot on my plate, brother. Anything else the royals want to say before we wrap up this Toasterween 2020?

Gran, thank you for coming on our show. Thank you for having me. It is an honor to have a woman of your stature. Truly an honor. Snitch, we miss you. I miss you guys too. Oh yeah, Snitch. Like we have Snitch on the toast. I'm under here too. We haven't had the Snitch cam in forever. How are you? Did you miss us? Yes, I did. But you're living life and you're just happy and you don't want to come back here. Exactly. How's Knowles? she's so good she's fabulous she's really growing up it's really sad but she's she's great she's got her own personality like she is in another world she's gonna get a cell phone soon like be texting all her friends like you want to ask Harry how oh how's Bruno I

mean like I had asked off camera but yes he's really good he's so cute I met him yesterday and Leto what did you think of the man? So fucking cute. Like, oh my God. Like, I love him so much. He's so cute. He just has, like, such great energy, you know? He's very zen, I feel.

I can't believe you have a puppy. I know. It's the craziest thing. I'm so excited to get the group together. They'll bring the family together, the children. We literally have so many dogs. We have, like, what do they call it? a a troop no like when you give birth like the litter we have a litter we do we have so many dogs we'll gotta get the kids together to play

yes bring them to the garden oh i forgot you're not allowed back at buckingham palace maybe you could give me a visitor's pass for the day maybe for archie i'll talk to mother about it for archie we'll talk to mother and we'll see that's all i can say archie for archie for archie maybe for archie i'll talk to mother about it for archie we'll talk to mother and we'll see that's all i can say for archie for archie for archie dr for archie um anything else anyone wants to say before we wrap this mother up we hope everyone has a happy happy halloween can't wait to stay safe stay healthy margaret keep going tell them vote vote tell them all margaret what else do they need to do what else where else do you have to wash your face wash your hands wash your hands wear your mask be with people don't be alone be nice to people be nice treat people with kindness don't troll anyone's instagram like yeah if you can try mental health yeah just take care of yourself guys it's hard out there

listen to the listen to the fucking queen the literal queen listen to her and as always god save the queen god and with that we bid you adieu god save the queen have a wonderful weekend everyone

we hope you enjoyed toasterween 2020 and we will see you back on monday for a regular episode ta ta ta ta