The Toast - S4 Ep126: Sharks Don't Speak English: Friday, July 16th, 2021

Episode Date: July 16, 2021

Machine Gun Kelly had a Megan Fox poster in his bedroom as a teen (Page Six) Kyle Richards and Betsy Brandt to Star in Real Housewives of the North Pole Movie for Peacock (PEOPLE) Mark Wahlberg Regrets Going on 11,000-Calorie Diet to Quickly Gain Weight for His New Movie (E! News) Blue Origin's Flight Will Include The Youngest And The Oldest Humans To Go To Space (NPR) Shark advocates call for rebranding violent attacks as 'interactions' (NY Post) Love Island Recap The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Morning Toast. It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Oh my god, it's Friday! Did you know that? It's so exciting, it's so beautiful. I love to see... You're not dressed like it's a Friday. Well, if I may... We have an unspoken rule here that Friday is like merch sweatpant day. It's when you show up looking like snatched Karen from finance, it's not nice. Thank you so much for that compliment, calling me snatched.

It's so nice. So if I may, can I tell you my logic? Yeah, of course. All week I dressed like it was Friday. Like sweats, merch, just like really brought nothing to the show. And I've never loved you more. Okay. But this is my last show for about 10 days.

Yeah. And I really didn't want the last thumbnail to be like me in a grout fit again. I wanted to leave them on a high note. And so I just felt like, and also like for myself, like when I wear sweats that many days in a row, I'm like, do my other clothes still fit me? So I just needed to like get into some real clothes. And I have a busy weekend where I'm going to be like up all weekend and so I was like I might as well get the

ball rolling now and like put on something with a zipper I guess so here I am and also even though this outfit like looks so fancy and fabulous it's actually really comfortable sure yeah so is mine it's really comfortable I'm wearing the toast went spring and I and I shaved my legs and put on a little self-tanner, so I thought the gams needed a day out. The gams need a day out. Have you switched to Isle of Paradise yet? No, I haven't. I used Saint Tropez last night, and it's pretty good.

It makes me like a little like... Green? Yellow? Yeah, it's honestly, it's not the right fit for us. I'm telling you. I'm not sure that it was, but I also bought like a spray bottle that's like kind like that I have never used I bought it I was influenced by an influencer and she also has red hair so I was like okay maybe this will work for my coloring too which one Sophia LaCorte oh my god we're obsessed she's like a ticked where'd you buy it on it do

you follow her on Instagram I follow her on Instagram oh I only follow her on TikTok yeah no I'm so thoroughly influenced by her so I it, but I still never used it because every time I've gone to use it, I'm like, what if I do it wrong? And then I have like a wedding. And so I need to use it like on a boring week, but it hasn't happened yet. Speaking of Sophia LaCourte, what was that Redheads book by Renee Carlino, Between Two Strangers? Before We Were Strangers.

Before We Were Strangers. And the main girl is a girl named Grace who has red hair, right? I thought she had blonde hair, but sometimes those things can translate differently for people. Well, whatever. I imagined when I was reading the book and I was very like into it, the whole time I thought of the main girl, Grace, as Sophia LaCourte because I had like just started seeing her on TikTok and she was like in my brain.

And now I just have like association between the two. That's really funny. Yeah. I just want to tell you really quickly about my night because I just did like so many things, you know? I went to Comedy Cellar which was so premium like you know usually you don't see a comedy show like some comedians are better than others like this was just like sickening lineup and I guess that's

like the point of Comedy Cellar it's like a premium premier creme de la creme so like cream that means cream every single comic was better than the next like it was so hysterical like I was actually like belly laughing and it was first of all they take your phones when you and like your apple watches when you walk in so at first I was like a little annoyed like crazy anxiety I was like oh my god what if I get canceled like I just like something about not being on my phone just gives me terrible anxiety but once I was able to let that go it was so premium for a million reasons like you know we operate very much in the digital space which is this like you know sensitive politically correct safe space um at least our corner of it and just to hear people like making crazy fucking jokes like about everything was so refreshing I forgot that

people talk that way like because we like we just don't joke like that and it was so refreshing I forgot that people talk that way like because we like we just don't joke like that and it was so refreshing and I was just like cackling the whole time and it was like a whole it like refreshed my brain that like you can joke about stuff and it was so delightful and I loved the premise of no one having their phones like it was just really safe like for the comics and it was just so premium and I just I can't recommend going to Comedy Cellar enough like and I guess Dana goes like all the time okay gotta go a lot and it's so premium like I had been a million years ago because it's by NYU and they had like a really small club and now they have like multiple locations and I went to like one of the big ones with like air conditioning and it was

like so premium and like it had like a million drinks mozzarella sticks like really premium can't recommend if you're looking for something fun to do in New York premium I hadn't heard no I think we're thankful for your recommendation I know everyone knows that everyone's like been knowing this also a lot of times like comics will well-known like a list comics show up there to try out new material like Amy Schumer's always spotted so Dana literally waits outside comedy comedy cellar every night until she can go and see Amy Schumer and she's actually gotten to see her yeah I mean I guess the point most people go of course for the show but like hoping that a celebrity is just going to like stop by. And I

was like really hoping like Dave Chappelle or like Pete, when they took our phones, I was like, do they do this every night or is someone special coming? And Pete Davidson is like very strict about phones at his show. So I was the whole time I was waiting for Pete Davidson who never showed up, but the show was so good. Like I actually did not mind. Yeah. Premium experience. So I know everyone knows that, but I just never go downtown. That's nice that you know it now yeah it was so fabulous like I want to go again you should and the air conditioning like I just can't stress how high powered and voluminous it was that's amazing and then I like had a night on the town and I really am proud of myself because it's a Friday and I'm not hung over like you know it's a Friday we saw your stories last night I was like hey Claudia's going out and

she's going out again and more and more and I was like okay so it's a hungover show and I'm wearing a pussy bow it is what it is yeah um but look at you no first of all I got home at like 12 because comedy cellar was like 8 to 10 and then we had dinner and drinks from like 10 to 11 30 and it was just like a civilized adult night like not I guess I'm realizing this now like not every night has to be like blacked out this till the break of dawn it sounds like last night was the night of realizing stuff for you it was because I still had fun and I was so happy to be like blacked out till the break of dawn. It sounds like last night was the night of realizing stuff for you. It was because I still had fun and I was so happy to be home by 12. Yeah, and like to go to sleep without the spins. Without the spins.

And I woke up feeling completely fine. That is so, Claudia, that's beautiful. I would love to eventually get to a place where my partying and my work life can sustain each other. Yeah, there's no reason why they should constantly be in conflict. They're constantly battling one another. And it's so toxic for my mental health. Well I'm glad that there was a date haunt last night and that you can give us

date haunt is like peace ceasefire. God yeah there was a ceasefire for sure. And that you can give us full Claudia today. Yeah no I'm thrilled to be alive on a Friday. It's nice. It's beautiful these Fridays. Weekends ahead of you. Yeah. Beautiful stuff. I have such a busy weekend like I said so we're here. We gotta do what we gotta do. We gotta weekend's ahead of you. Yeah. Beautiful stuff. I have such a busy weekend, like I said. So we're here. We got to do what we got to do. We got to do what we got to do. And other, I actually had a really busy day yesterday, like all the errands I've been putting off, like manicure, pedicure, like wax, et cetera. So I was just errands, errands, errands. Meetings, meetings, meetings. Podcast, podcast, podcast. So we're going to do what we do best, and we're going to podcast for you on this stunning,

so hot Friday, even though I'm still wearing a sweatshirt. Don't ask me why. It's still cold in the studio. Yeah. Not as cold as it's been. It's as if someone here watches our show and saw us struggling. Well, if you're watching the show, we don't agree on the air conditioning thing. This is a perfect temperature.

Put the air conditioning back on. This is a perfect temperature. It's a little hot. Because you can wear shorts, and they're not meeting a blanket.'s a little hot perfect temperature it's just okay okay you're and you're wearing a sweatshirt yeah yeah a form-fitting sweatshirt so that never helps yeah um so let's dive in because we've got a we don't have a lot to talk about because like we said um well we actually didn't say we said it before the show there's true slim pickings tell us about your experience trying to choose.

Today was one of those days where I went through all the sites, and I was still at zero stories. Wow. So I had to go through them all again, and I had to go to, like, the reserve sites. And you know what? You are going to get some interesting world news, but I know you guys love to hear it,

especially on a Friday when you're going out to embark on a weekend. You might meet new people. Maybe you guys need to talk about Jeff Bezos going to space. Maybe you need some interesting factoids about it. Maybe. Wait, like, maybe you're going to be on a weekend you might meet new people maybe you guys need to talk about Jeff Bezos going to space maybe you need some interesting factoids about it maybe like maybe you're gonna be at a wedding and you're gonna be like you know a far-off friend who gets seated at a table with people you don't meet you don't know you've never met and you need something to talk about and you'll be so grateful you listen to this random ass episode of the shows right and you're gonna be like what do you think about shark attacks and right now that doesn't mean anything to you

but in 45 minutes you're gonna have a whole new opinion on that. Yeah and you know what? After coming from Comedy Cellar I have this whole new vibe like I'm ready to offend people. And I think the shark community is gonna be my first target because I've been inspired by the brave comedians who fought for our right to joke about whatever we want to joke about. And I'm feeling all revved up. Like I want to be like a crazy offensive comedian today okay cool that's exciting for all of us so fuck you all and your pitbulls she can't handle it i can't i was 100 kidding like please don't come for me okay cool now i think without further ado where are you right here being perfect it is time for the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite

out of your morning toast and i'll give you one guess as to who today's sponsor is. Bruch. Bruch is the best electric toothbrush on the market. The official unofficial morning toast official toothbrush. If you haven't gotten one yet, you're probably the last listener of this podcast who hasn't gotten one. Upgrade your toothbrushing experience with an electric toothbrush that is so affordable. You know what? Some electric toothbrushes can cost over $200, which is insane, but the Bruch is affordable, and it's truly the best one out there. My dentist even said so. So the Bruch itself comes with six unique modes to customize your brushing experience.

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Okay, first story. You know we'll hit you with some mindless celeb news. Machine Gun Kelly had a Megan Fox poster in his bedroom as a teen. Oh, that's cute. Isn't that cute? The rapper, now 31, had a poster of Fox, now 35, hanging in his bedroom as a teenager years before the pair ended up dating. He said it was from her GQ shoot.

So that's some full circle shit, as now they are very much in love and together. Yeah, I guess that's so crazy. That's kind of like how, well, they're not dating, but like Billie Eilish is like a comrade of Justin Bieber when like her whole early childhood was devoted to stanning Justin Bieber. Yeah.

You love to see people living out their dreams. To me, it reminds me of the story of Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet. Mama. Mama. When he saw her on TV and he said. He literally pointed to her on the TV. And he said. He turned to his mom and he pointed to Lisa on the television.

Was like, Mama, I'm going to marry her. Which is kind of weird. Just how old was Lisa? She was on the Cosby show, right? Yeah. And she's older than him.. Which is kind of weird. Just how old was Lisa? She was on the Cosby show, right? Yeah. And she's older than him. Right. No, of course.

So like, I just want to know how old he was when he was fantasizing. You know, it's just like age is so weird, you know? Yeah. It is weird when you think of things in those terms, but it could also be cute. And in this situation, I think it's cute. If you ever heard Jason Momoa tell the story about like him looking at the TV, Google it. It's so funny because all I took away from it was, Mama.

And if you've been listening to the show long enough, you know that that sent us. I'm so confused on who our audience is, actually, because we have so many toasters who are new. We have so many OG toasters who fall off the wagon. Who are the toasters right now? Do you guys know that Mama joke? Because I I can start recycling jokes making them like they're new you know right no first of all the toast is a revolving door literally and I do feel like so

many listeners have been with us since day one but I don't want to exclude those new ones by making old jokes but I also think that so many are constantly discovering us because we'll get comments like what's RDH like that's not even that old. So, you know, I think the toast is really for everyone. It's ubiquitous. So if you're an OG toaster, apologies for the redundancy. I just think that's a really good inside joke we need to bring back. Yeah, I agree.

We have so many inside jokes. So many. Justice for the girls. I know. Apparently someone reminded us that's what we used to wish for at 11-11. Right. Justice for the girls. In reference specifically to to our kelly justice for those girls but justice for like all the girls justice for girls everywhere agreed okay so he had a picture uh who are we talking

about oh machine gun kelly yeah yeah i feel like that actually tracks just like timeline wise i feel like every guy who like grew up in the 90s or early 2000s had a big ass poster of like Megan Fox because she was the the it gal. 2000s. Yeah what did I say? 90s. Yeah 2000s. I feel like I've been in bedrooms like where there was a Megan Fox poster. Yeah for sure she's definitely like a poster girl. What poster did you have? Oh you had a Backstreet Boys poster. I did it was very cool and like. It was like not even a poster it was like a silk. It was very cool and like. It was like not even a poster. It was like a silk. It was like a silky material. Like it wasn't like something that you wear for magazine. It was like it was gifted to me where it like rolled down. Yeah it's like a parchment. Honestly

like a piece of art. Yeah Olivia had the same one for NSYNC. And if you want to hear about the Oshrae family childhood battle between NSYNC and Backstreet Boys which is a lot more fascinating than you might think. Read about it in my New York Times bestselling book, Girl With No Job, The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster. Yeah. So that was- Jackie O approved. She read it four times.

Three. Sorry. I just, because I said this week I've read it three times that like people would like- So you haven't read it one more time since we last spoke? That's disgusting. I haven't had a lot of time. I'm sorry. That's disgusting.

Are you ready for our next story, which is some cute cute exciting news? Some CES? Yeah. Yeah. Kyle Richards will be starring in a movie for Peacock called The Real Housewives of the North Pole. Oh I didn't know that that's what it was called. I just read the headline that she was doing like a Hallmark holiday movie and I'm like oh cute perfect for like her level of acting. Called The Real Housewives of the North Pole which is actually like even more perfect but a little confusing. Yeah, because now I'm not thinking it's going to be like a, you know, a Hallmark holiday movie.

It's going to be like a parody, no? Well, no, I don't think it's going to be a parody. I think it's going to be a Hallmark holiday movie about, I don't know. And who are the other housewives cast as? The only other cast member announced is Betsy Brandt. Yes, I saw that on Kyle's Instagram and I do not know who she is. Me neither.

But Peacock announced on Thursday that an original film titled The Real Housewives of the North Pole will arrive on the streaming service later this year. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills vet Kyle Richards will star in the project alongside Breaking Bad alum Betsy Brandt. Who'd she play in Breaking Bad? Do you recognize this woman? Kind of. Breaking Bad was so long ago. No, honestly, I've literally never met that woman in my life. Okay, well, you're about to. Yeah, can you tell me who she played? Sure. Marie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

the DEA agent's husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never watched it. Oh my god, she was so annoying. Well, hopefully. You've never watched Breaking Bad? No, I haven't. We have spoken about it. And it's honestly not even on my content plate. I have a really kind of hot take for you when it comes to Peacock. In, you know, the wars of streaming, Peacock is like shitting the bed. Like they're not doing anything even remotely remarkable, except for the Real Housewives All-Stars, which hasn't even come out yet.

And I just feel like every time we hear something like that they're doing, I'm just not into it. And also, I have every streaming service. I don't even know if I have Peacock downloaded on my Apple TV. And if I do, I never open it. Except one time when I was with Olivia. We watched at her house. We watched NYC Prep.

That was premium. They have a pretty good backlog, catalog. Bethany Ever After. And when I did watch Downton Abbey, I'm pretty sure it was on Peacock, even though it is now on Netflix. Definitely check it out. Here's a little... By the way, as of like last week, all of the Twilight films are now on Netflix and I

bought them on Amazon Prime so like it doesn't really affect me happy to support the franchise though so exciting and you know if it's reaching new people that's just so beautiful for like we're always welcoming new stands here's a little descriptor of the movie in the upcoming film Richards and Brands stars Trish and Diana, aka the Christmas Queens of North Pole, Vermont. Okay, so they're not like Santa's elves. Okay, okay.

That's important to clarify. It is. The Christmas Queens of North Pole, Vermont, Trish and Diana, have won the best holiday house decorating competition every year

for the past nine years. That sounds so good. But days before Christmas, a friendship-ending argument sparks a town-wide feud and draws the attention of a national magazine writer hoping to make a name for herself with her scintillating expose titled The Real Housewives of the North Pole. Okay this sounds stunning. Stunning, Oscar worthy. So they

obviously have like a battle they both will decorate their homes separately. Tribeca Film Festival is quaking. Sundance, Cannes, Toronto, TIFF. They're all calling saying we want this film. It sounds so good. Venice. Okay, I take back. Maybe Peacock is on to something. Maybe Peacock is on to something.

I mean, you really can't go wrong with a great Christmas movie premise. And then to have this like housewives tie in makes it uniquely Peacock. Uniquely Peacock. No one else could. Unique lock. No one else could. No one else could.

This actually does not sound bad. It does not sound bad. I'm excited for Kyle. I haven't really seen Kyle act in anything. Except on this week's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when they did the flashback

to Little House on the Prairie. I'm not going to lie. I was quaking. Yeah. I was shook. Yeah. My bed was just rocking. Yeah. I was shook. Yeah. My bed was just rocking. Yeah.

So was hers. Literally, because she had scarlet fever. So upsetting. So I don't think I've ever seen her act in anything. So she wasn't acting in American Woman, right? She was producing. No, she was producing. And I never saw her remake.

Trip to Witch Mountain. No, that was when she was still a kid. Yeah. She also did that um what's that scary movie that's like really famous that she's in with mike myers and um jamie lee curtis halloween they redid it too never saw it either so okay so this will be the first i'm definitely gonna watch this and you know what i'm not trying to like jump to any conclusions or anything but we are like low-key like really close to Christmas. I know. You know, I was, when I was watching Potomac, it made me so excited for winter

when they were pulling up to Wendy's house and they were like getting out of the car and it was like snowy and icy. And like, it was like chilly. I was like, I love that feeling. No, I know. And honestly, like I'm on the side of TikTok where it's like, they show you Christmas cookie videos and it's like 105 days till Christmas. And honestly, like a part of growing up is like really I feel like when you were a kid you would like die for the summer and now I'm like the summer is so fucking hot I still have to work like I want Christmas time like once Halloween starts like I feel like I'm actually the happiest and that really harks back to what I said yesterday about my me having reverse seasonal depression like the summer does not make me happy nice weather does not make me happy like

staying inside with a hot cocoa and a fire roaring and a Christmas tree, like that really brings me joy. When you would cultivate vibes, there are no vibes cultivated in the summer. That's so funny. Yes, because literally like I made the decision to sit in my living room on Sunday

and I'm like, should I cultivate a vibe? Like light some candles, dim the lights. It doesn't work. It's too hot to light candles. It doesn't work in the summer. It doesn't work. So I just feel like normalize standing winter. I think a lot of people do. The only thing I'll say is like, yes, that time is so exciting. Halloween, my birthday, Christmas, like everyone's quaking. It's Jackie's birthday. You're

so lucky to have a birthday in November. But then after New Year's, it is bleak. Dark. For a while. But for like four months months but you know what I've realized since then and I feel like when I was younger I used to get like really depressed after winter break and it's like so much time until next summer or winter or summer break but you know what's the cool thing about like the years so they always come back around so it's like yes okay you could say it's you know right after Christmas but you could also could say it's, you know, right after Christmas. But you could also say 360 days till Christmas. You know what I mean?

I understand what you're saying, but I just, no. Whatever. The message I'm trying to. Instead, we should plan like an amazing trip for like February, March. Have something to look forward to. Yeah, no, you're 100% right. February and March are really dark. Yeah.

We need a, I mean, I guess we have like Passover slash Easter in like April. Yeah, but no. And Valentine's Day in February, but that's like a fake fucking holiday. Yeah, but no. We need a trip. Yeah, let's get on that. Let's get on that. Yeah, we're going to preempt the calendar.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next trick. Yeah. Let's get on that. Let's get on that. Yeah, we're going to preempt the calendar. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Mark Wahlberg regrets going on an 11,000 calorie diet to quickly gain weight for his new movie. You know, I really actually enjoy reporting on stories where like method actors or like really like highly trained actors get into shape or like gain weight, lose weight for a movie because the fact that people can have that much control over their weight is the most impressive thing to me. Like if I knew how to do that, I could literally build a rocket.

Like I would be the smartest person ever. The 50-year-old departed Star Visit The Tonight Show on July 15th to promote his forthcoming drama, Joe Bell. During the interview, Jimmy Fallon asked about the recent shoot for his latest film, Stew, during which Mark at one point gained at least 20 pounds over the course of three weeks to portray a real-life boxer-turned-priest. When he spoke with Jimmy back in April before the process had begun, Mark sounded excited, ebullient about the chance to gain a significant amount of weight over the course of the 30-day film shoot. However, as he explained to Jimmy Fallon, he has since learned this was perhaps not the wisest choice. Why? He said, unfortunately, I had to consume for two weeks 7,000 calories and then for another two weeks 11,000 calories and

it was fun for about an hour it was such a hard physical thing to do losing weight you just kind of tough it out you just don't eat and exercise and this even when you're full I would wake up after a meal and have another meal I was eating every three hours it was not fun I really just like have never related less to Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. I can, I can understand the, um, the plight of like having to eat when you're not hungry. That's actually painful, but to even compare it to being harder than losing weight, like no. Well, I also think maybe like mentally when you are like grinding to lose weight, there's like, you know, you have a goal and you're, and you want to work towards that goal. But like

the goal on this end is just to, you know, be unhealthy and it's like you know you have a goal in your and you want to work towards that goal but like the goal on this end is just to you know be unhealthy and it's like hard to motivate yourself to want to do that to your body yeah I guess that's true but like especially when you're someone like Mark Wahlberg who's like always up in the gym working out in his fitness he's my witness yeah right he'd be riding down the block just to watch what i got so delicious so delicious but you know what mark warburg like is for delicious so i feel like that's that makes this whole thing okay yeah no he's definitely for delicious but i he was struggling with things that were delicious you're his witness and he'd be riding around the block just to watch what I got to taste it tasted for delicious stuff

for delicious stuff and you don't know that rap like gain weight when you don't want to like yeah but like imagine just like oh I wish my life was involved with like me having to gain weight to make like 30 million dollars in a movie like I'm sorry these celebrities are getting more and more out of touch okay probably but it's like Jimmy Fallon asked, you know? Yeah, and that's on Jimmy Fallon. And like, they go on these shows to talk about what they've been up to, and like, that's what he's been up to. Yeah, I do feel like, I haven't really heard a lot about Jimmy Fallon.

Do you know what I mean? I feel like he was like in our faces for a while. I feel like I go out of my way not to hear about Jimmy Fallon. Like, I saw a headline about Move Away, like. Yeah, you have like this thing. I screw on the Jimmys. Like, I fucking can't with if you had to rank the jimmies to me they're both really bad i would say including james corden

james corden is probably my favorite because of like carpool karaoke and he's given us a lot i would say the little jimmy kimmel no fall? The shorter one that's smaller. How many Jimmys are there? Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel? No, I think Jimmy Kimmel is like the bigger one. You don't know who Jimmy Kimmel is? It's the bigger one. No. Jimmy Fallon is taller.

Okay. Jimmy Kimmel is not the one I'm talking about. It's the bigger one. Wait, and so which Jimmy? Is there another Jimmy? Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, Andy's friend. I was going to say that's the smaller one.

I would argue he's bigger. He's taller. Okay, Jimmy Fallon height. Oh, six foot. Okay, I guess that's pretty tall. Let's find Jimmy Kimmel's height. Well, I think. He's like 5'9".

Jimmy Kimmel height. 6'1". So Imel height. 6'1". So I was right. No, he's not. No, it's literally 6'1". Yo, Jimmy Kimmel is not 6'1". But on a different side, it says 5'11". You just can't get straight answers.

Okay, whatever. So if you had to rank best to worst. Okay, I really don't like them all. I would say I like Fallon more than Kimmel. Of course. If I had to say. Yeah. And you like James Corden better than both of them.

Yes. But also because like, I guess James Corden is around a lot and like in your face. The Gen Z generation hates Jimmy Fallon. Like, no. Fuck James Corden. Really? Yes. They despise him.

Like, there was so much outrage that he was on the Friends reunion. Like, they just think he's so annoying. And honestly, I like him. You do like him? Yeah. I just lost all my stories. Like, trying to find the Jimmys, okay? That's why I fucking hate the Jimmys.

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use premium products athena club has you covered show your skin some care with the athena club razor kit sign up today and you'll get 20 off your first order just go to athena club dot com use the promo code toast that's a-t-h-e-n-a club dot com with promo code toast for 20 off off athena c-l-u-b dot com athena club dot comomo code toast for 20% off. Thank you for that, Claudia. You're unbelievable. My stories are back. Okay, good.

Well, I got them. I, they didn't just pop back up. The boys are back. The boys are back. Probably the worst song from high school musical, but the most,

is that when they're in the junkyard? Yeah. Atrocious. And then they're like kids. Kids, the campers. Oh my God. So bad.

Horrible. Anyways, in a little space news of the week, you guys know Jeff Bezos is going to space and his flight will include the youngest and the oldest humans to go to space. I just feel like he's overcompensating for the fact that Richard Branson got there first. He's like, well, I'm going to break some world records.

Like, chill. A hundred percent. And I can understand why, like, you know, he made all these strides to go to space and he's not even going to be like the first billionaire private, like bought a ticket to go to space and he's not even gonna be like the first billionaire private like bought a ticket to go to space no now you're like a loser copier so I understand his need to like one up and do something for the Guinness Book of World Records sure but I don't think that this is it no it's not even impressive not not to be rude

like could he bring a dog to space love that idea know? Also like he's just giving me like major Luann de la Steps like early Real Housewives of New York vibes. Like constantly one-upping like her fancy friends. This is just like I feel like he should just take the loss you know? Like him overcompensating for getting there second with these losery attempts. It's kind of making the whole thing more losery. And it's like if you really want to go to space

like that should be enough for you. Like do it for yourself. I ain't new. Don't do it for other people. So true. Like if that doesn't fulfill you going to space on its own whether you're first, second, third but by the way you're second don't think that you're first. Don't get it twisted. Then like really what's the point of how much money you spend and all of this. No you're so right. That's actually one of the key takeaways from my best-selling book Girl With No Job The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Sponsor. It's like doing things for yourself, not for like the perception of others. And I feel like that's something Jeff Bezos could actually really use from my book.

Yeah. And he could get it on Amazon really easily. Prime comes in a day. Yeah. I'm sure. Or the Kindle is automatic download. I'm sure for him like in a minute. Yeah. He could download it on his Kindle on his way to space. Great read, you know, for his journey. Space read. Yeah. Space read. Right. It's like you could take a book into there's so many things that you could do you know you're 100 right if we're gonna break a record like let's do a cool one this is honestly not inspiring at all but he's taking an 18 year old and an 82 year old and that's what he wants you to know and that's what he thinks is gonna set him apart I just have to say and I don't want to jinx anything I'm not trying to be like a bad

omen but like all this like billionaire like like having fun in space, spending money. It's all fun and games till something goes wrong. You know, like we're not just like, you know, taking a rollercoaster ride. Like we're actually doing something incredibly dangerous. A hundred percent, which reminds me of Jessica Simpson's book. Which is? When like she was in school and they were watching,

they were watching the space take off. I forget what the name of the flight was. We weren't alive. The one that crashed. And, like, they played it in all the schools. It was, like, such a big deal. The Challenger. She was, like, seven years old.

And they never took off. The whole thing just exploded. No, they took off, and it exploded. Okay. So, and they all, like, were watching it. Yeah, and, like, all these kids were, like, a generation of kids traumatized from watching, like, a live killing. Yeah. So I'm just saying, like, we, all these kids were, like, a generation of kids traumatized from watching, like, a live killing. Yeah.

So I'm just saying, like, we're all joking about it, but it's actually very dangerous. And NASA, even, the world's leading space researchers, even they had made a mistake a couple years ago with the Challenger. So, like, it's not that crazy. It's a dangerous job. I think that's what Jeff wants you to think, too. Like, Jeff Bezos, brave. I'm not going to lie. When I think of Jeff Bezos, brave. I'm not gonna lie. When I think of Jeff Bezos, a lot of adjectives come up. And brave is not on that list. I think

of smart, greedy, bald. Like I think of a lot of things. Brave? No. I think of newspaper in the morning. That's what I think. I think of, I want to get drunk with you. Not too drunk, just a little tipsy. Yeah. That's what I think. Sick. And I want to read the newspaper with you. Not too drunk, just a little tipsy. Yeah, sick. That's what I think. And I want to read the newspaper with you. So sick. That's really what I think of, honestly. I hope he brings a newspaper to space.

To be honest, I really don't think Jeff Bezos has ever fully recovered, reputation-wise, from his scandal where his text messages were released. Here's what's crazy. I think that he has recovered reputation-wise 100%. Nobody even references it anymore like he's still with her even though it's like the brother who leaked the messages but for me like that's all I think about and it's I guess because he like decides what people think about he's put it out of their minds so true like can't be like controlled I can't be tamed yeah

like that I'm still thinking about it but I can't actually a really good point I can't believe that everybody's moved on in the way that they have and not every article starts with Jeff Bezos who once said I want to wake up with you and read the newspaper like no by the way you're 100% right but I can believe that people have forgotten about it for the exact reason you just mentioned like he owns the Washington Post he's like one of the most powerful people in our country like of course we're no longer thinking about it he doesn't want us to he put a chip in us like you're 100% right so that's my that's my thoughts but I we're at the morning toast we're here to remind you like those things happen you know what you know what I think I'll do today I think I'll repost those text messages on our Instagram hashtag never forget and probably

my favorite time to ever be alive was when his text messages came out and there was like a challenge in the toaster community when girls were sending word for word what he was like these creepy kind of like lame attempts at romance yeah romantic text messages to their like fiancés or girlfriends or husbands and the responses were so funny that was like my favorite time to be alive yeah and now I have nothing to live for because everyone's forgotten everyone's forgotten but not us you can't you can't run away from it Jeff like you can go to space but we'll never forget just like who did you say you said Jason Momoa was Zoe no remember what you said remember what you said that Jason Momoa, that Zoe Kravitz is Jason Momoa's stepdaughter? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm going to be. Yeah, remember when you said that? Now it's like, I don't know where I was going with this. Maybe just move on. Okay, I'll move on until you can get your footing back. It's not going to happen, so. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Only if it's the final story.

fifth and final story. Only if it's the final story. We need a triangle because when I when I hit that last note I just want to ding the triangle. Order it from Jeff Bezos' blog. Okay our fifth and final... And we'll get like a little hook and we'll hang it right here. Yeah and it's just like... Or maybe we need like a... what's it called on the drums? A timber? Timble? No no but for this particular song the sound we're emulating is a triangle. I actually feel like... what's it called? Symbol. Yeah. we're emulating is a triangle. I actually feel like, what's it called? Symbol. Symbol. No?

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I think that is actually more of the vibe I'm personally going for musically. Okay, that's fine for you, but I want a triangle.

Can you order two triangles? Thanks. Thanks. That's exciting, you guys. The toast is moving on up. We're becoming a musical show. We always were.

Yeah. But we used to be acapella and now we're going to have instruments. Yeah, we're going acoustic. Are you ready for- my legs are hairy. I really need to use my Athena Club razor. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Can you guys see it?

No they can't. Can you see it? Because my legs have been so hairy all week. This is actually like chutzpah level. No. They can't see it. I've already conducted this experiment on the show. Can you see my hair from your purview? No. Okay. No I don't think so. Can you see my hair from your purview? No. Okay. No, I don't think so.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Oh, it's so controversial. Shark advocates are calling for a rebranding of violent attacks as interactions. So they want them to be called, instead of shark attacks, they want them to be called shark interactions. Marine experts and advocates in Australia are urging the public to refrain from using the word attack in reference to sharks, declaring that the majestic predatory fish has been unfairly stigmatized as a deliberate killer.

Instead, officials have suggested that violent run-ins with sharks be dubbed with more neutral words, such as interactions. Others have suggested swapping the word with the terms negative encounter incident or simply bites the university of sydney language researcher christopher pepin neff said shark attack is a lie he argued that a majority of what people call attacks are merely nips and minor injuries from smaller sharks like honestly stories like this make me not want to like live in this world anymore like for real like are you fucking serious like you're worried about the Sharks feelings like no

offense sharks doesn't watch the news no and like no offense like sharks don't have feelings and they don't really care about like your sharks don't speak English totally and like I just don't speak English. Totally. And, like, I just can't believe that there are, like, actually really smart people who have dedicated their entire lives to, like, academia. And this is what they came up with? Like, no wonder we haven't cured cancer yet. Everyone's focused on the dumbest shit of all time, like, the linguistics of sharkhood. Like, I honestly can't.

And it's really upsetting. Like, I know we're joking, but, like, it's really upsetting. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes And it's really upsetting. Like, I know we're joking, but like, it's really upsetting. No. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, this is really upsetting. Because it's like. This is where we've gotten to as a society. Minutia of how we refer to shark attacks. And I'm sorry, we don't attack sharks.

They attack us. It's an attack. It's an attack. So I'm just like disgusted. Like, I really am. Especially coming off of being at comedy cellar last thing where like everyone was saying the craziest shit. And I'm like,

really? And now I'm back in the real world. It's like shark interaction. It's a shark interaction. Literally. Like how did we get here? Like, it's so upsetting.

And it also like it, you worry about, okay, say, you know what? Shark enthusiasts go ahead. Like then what's next? No, of course it's not about the sharks you know what shark enthusiasts go ahead like then what's next no of course it's not about the sharks even though it kind of is like it's just about no it's not about the sharks honestly it's about the people because sharks don't care no and it's

like if only the sharks knew that like there were these losers advocating the sharks would bite them literally and you know what justice for anyone who's ever been bitten by a shark, this is so insensitive to them. Yeah. And I'm just really sick. And I reject this. I reject. I reject. No. Shark attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Shark attack, shark attack, shark attack. What was that? Oh, it was a shark attack. Attack. What are you gonna do about that, huh? Professor? Christopher? What are you gonna do? Attack. Attack, attack, attack, attack, attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Hmm? Christopher? Shark attack. You're reminding me of that shark from Finding Nemo. Which one? You know the one.

Fish are friends, not food. Yeah. And I feel like, honestly, that movie was actually detrimental and was one of the reasons that got us here. It's like, look, the shark is nice. It's not based on a real story. No shark ever said fish are friend, not food, because they eat fish. Because they don't speak English. That as well.

So I just feel like it's kind of been this sub subliminal messaging teaching our kids like normalizing normalizing sharks and it's like they are a deadly predator no ellen animated feature film is going to change that right shark attack shark attack and honestly like you can't negotiate with the shark no you can't and i wouldn't suggest it and also and I just really can't stress this enough. As you said so poignantly, poignantly, sharks don't speak English.

Also, like when I said like what comes next, I'll tell you what it would be. They would make them change the name of Shark Tank. No doubt. They would make them change the name

because it's offensive to sharks. I'm surprised we haven't gotten there yet in this twisted society. But if this goes through, that's what's next. It's not going to go through you want to know why? Because we reject it. Yeah. Shark attack shark attack shark attack attack. We need Kevin O'Leary back on the show just to discuss this. A hundred percent. So anyways if you do find yourself like at a dinner party or a wedding this weekend like I do feel like this is

a good topic of conversation. You can get to know a lot about someone based on what they, what their opinion is on their story. 100%. And honestly, if you just feel like starting shit at like a family barbecue, just stand up and say, shark attack, shark attack, shark attack. Yeah. We have a little TV recap because Love Island was on last night and we both caught up.

And the TV recap segment is brought to you by Jinx. You guys know this angel right here is so special and deserves the best. And he kind of has a sensitive stomach. So it's really important what we put into his body so that we can be taking care of him, of course. And I don't like him getting irritated. And it's taken us a long time to get here,

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All right, Love Island. I have to say, on Wednesday night's episode, at the very end, when Cinco chose Trina, I had a feeling he was going to, but part of me was like, when he was actually saying it,

he seemed so sad. I'm like, oh, I think maybe he's actually going to pick Cash. Me too. I was devastated. Like, I really was. And it's very possible that he was meant to be with Trina and they have, like,

a better connection. But I just don't like how the whole thing unraveled. And when they were all sitting at that all girls brunch and basically Cash was just trying to like, I don't even know if that's true. Like he went for Trina because she didn't open up. She was just trying to like rationalize what was going on. And I thought Trina was like being rude, like basically saying like interrupting her and being like, I find that offensive because you're basically saying like I'm his second choice when like she really was not saying that at all and I just I know she was saying it a little bit well you know what she should because literally what Trina did Trina was being a Jezebel I don't think so like this is the name of the game I think these

two girls are friends I think it's painful for both of them and you don't need to put one down in order she didn't even mention Trina no but like that's what she was doing no she wasn't and I also feel like I totally understand why Cash is upset but I feel like everything that she says kind of is or is saying like about the situation like I'm not upset like then she'll say like I put up walls with um Cinco but then she'll also say like I was like but then we see her and she's like fully into him and I'm just like but how do you really feel because I feel like she's just like wanting to say the right things because she knows that like that's the show like that this you know you have to be open and everybody gets to meet everyone but it's like I'm having a hard time getting at

how she really feels about it that's actually a good point she does contradict herself a little bit but I not for any like malevolent reason other than I just think she really is trying to be rational and not emotional. But it's like you can be emotional. It's Love Island. Love is emotional. Yeah. She definitely is like has her guard up on what she wants to reveal and how she wants to be perceived. Because honestly, now that he chose Trina, she doesn't really have any other prospects.

She's spoken to no one. No, but then Isaiah just popped up. And all of a sudden, there's a connection there. Which I really like because I like Amy and Jeremy together. Me too. I think she likes him and his bad kissing and all. I know. There's just like something so illusory about Jeremy.

I know. I just feel like whenever we see his conversations with the woman that he's into, like they're not showing us anything of interest. Substantial. Yeah. But then it's like, he has such a good friendship with Cash. And like, you see him like around the house and it's like, okay, there must be more to this man. Because everyone really likes him and like, they all like respect him. And they say he's like the nicest guy in the house.

So if he was such a dud, that wouldn't be the case. Yeah. But he's giving off duddy vibes. A hundred percent. And I like Shannon and Josh once again yes me too honestly I feel like I'm on the roller coaster with Shannon like I hate Josh but also like they're clearly OTP no but also like when he came back from that date he was doing the most it was actually the perfect exercise for him and in being able to prove to Shannon that he's 100% like he did everything so right, like above and beyond right, like leaving, kissing her, coming back, kissing her,

like didn't really give Florina any, he said she was like beautiful and stuff, but didn't really give her any hope. Yeah, my worry with Josh, like if I was Shannon, is like on the weeks where the boys are in charge, like he can be a dick. And then on the week where like Shannon is in charge, he's like a kiss ass.

But it's actually been the opposite. Yes, that's true. Because I don't think he realized that the first recoupling was going to be the girls because he wouldn't have on that morning kissed amy no was it yeah amy i think you know who the recoupling is going to be based on who if there's more boys and girls i know but it was like the first week i honestly don't think you know he realized i really don't wow that would that would actually be kind of sweet if he didn't realize because that means he's not just thinking about sticking around he's just sort of going with how he feels I just don't understand why they don't just commit to each other because then like when she was like I'm gonna talk to Isaiah like they get in trouble when they agree to like be open with other people but then they get jealous like why don't you just

agree not to be open because it's too early and they're really there to meet more people so it's like if there's going to be someone who comes in who's better suited for them then they should they should be able to discover that because they're there to meet the person that's best for them I know but don't they also want to win and the long couples win so I would just like find someone who wants necessarily the long couples win because if they just caught became in a couple now and that was it there was nothing really more from them they wouldn't win because nobody really likes either of them yet. Like they are not boring.

They haven't like had to choose each other over other people. Like with Strife. It's a lot. It's a lot more than that. And still like right now watching it. I don't know. I don't know which couple would. Is even a front runner for winning.

Well they're all so messy. Like I feel like. Like Will and Kira. But they are boring. You're right. And I like don't like I feel like like Will and Kira but they are boring you're right and I like don't like them I like hate them both no I just get I just think something is gonna happen she's a lot like and he appears to be into like her overwhelming kind of smothering nature um but that does get old in a house for weeks, you know? Yeah, and, like, what if someone comes in who catches his eye and his mind? Like, just right now, he hasn't met anyone who he likes more than Kira,

so that makes it really easy. You know who I think he's actually really well-suited for? Amy. They had a little. They had something, and they never explored it because he decided to stay with Kira. Yeah, but that could come back around. Right, because, like, they both speak Spanish. They're vegan. They're vegan. They're both just kind of

like weirdly intellectual in like a you know metaphysical sense. Yeah he's always like doing yoga. She wants to preserve the planet for her future children. Like I think that actually they're a perfect match because I think him and Kira is a very physical relationship and I think that definitely will fizzle out. Like I don't think they're gonna ride it out together I don't think it's sustainable yeah it's too much too soon it's overwhelming like they are never not together like they sleep together they wake up they do yoga together they breakfast together they sit on the pool together like it's a lot yeah just human nature like to be with the same person for so long yeah so um I'm just like loving I know I keep saying this like being a part of something even though I gotta download the app and like

start voting. Because like all three girls going on a date with Corey was twisted. It didn't make sense because- Because they all said who they wanted to go on a date with. They all came in in the first episode and we, when did people vote? Because we were watching the episode

when we met them and then later- No, at the end of- We got introduced to them and then they said vote. And it said go vote at the end of like an episode from the end of last week. Okay, but I really like Corey and and florina me too of course i think that actually if they can like like that's a couple where it's like okay we see what they have in common they've explored other people they're really and if they got together and then continue to build like that's

a couple that could win yeah no i think they're a good couple too and of course i was happy for cory because he's like had literally nothing going on nothing um but all three girls getting the date like made no sense and it wasn't even a date it was literally them sitting in the corner of the house I thought they were gonna leave no it was really silly but then they got their actual dates which sucks for Corey because they were like I'm not taking Corey on a romantic date because we've already spent time with him and so they took people that they just wanted to talk to that they hadn't gotten a chance to yet yeah the house is so nice. Like every time they pan, I'm like, I would love to go on vacation here.

Like it's so bright and colorful. The slide looks very dangerous. All the houses, like they do a really good job with the neon signs and like the bright colors. The big heart. Also the females, like just looks and glam and outfits

are just so on point. You want to know why? Because I think like, I think they spend most of their days like sitting in that makeup room because they really don't swim that much or like do anything. They like work out in the morning and then they like gossip. And they always gossip in the room.

So if that was me, I'd be sitting in the air conditioning, flat ironing my hair the entire day. No, it really is like camp. I think in the morning they do the workouts and I do think that they swim, but they probably can't wear their mics while they're swimming. So there's nothing that interesting. And then I think it's like shower hour. And then they all, they's talk about shower hour.

They all step out and they do their like slow-mo. And like they walk to, they each get a glass of wine. And it's just like, must be the most fun camp. I agree as well. But let's talk about shower hour. Do the boys and girls have separate showers? Because it always looks like they're in the same room. Not at the same time.

I think that they do because it's CBS. And the house is huge. Yeah. So why would there be one bathroom? But they probably just like are the same time I think that they do because it's CBS and the house is huge yeah so why would there be one bathroom but they probably just look like are the same exact layout because I always see them like in the same shower as the boys but then it's also multiple heads in the shower there's no doors right so they're just you know looking at each other something that happened a few weeks ago like no actually like maybe at the beginning of this week when Cinco was like

starting to have feelings for Trina again he was talking to the guys and they were in the shower and he was not in the shower. And he opened the door and stuck his head in to talk to them. There was two guys in the shower. So he was like looking at two penises being like, I don't know what to do. Like cash is like, you know, I'm having second thoughts or whatever. And I'm like, did you just stick your head into the shower? Yes, he did. And if I had to guess, I would say would be because maybe he thought the audio wouldn't

get picked up. Oh, yeah. And they do not let go of those microphones. They sleep with them. I know. Oh, and I never I didn't really understand why every time they wake up, they put on sunglasses. It's because they're under production lighting when they've just been asleep. Yeah.

Now the room gets so bright. From being pitch black. Yeah. Awful. Yeah. The room gets so bright. From being pitch black. Yeah.

Awful. Yeah. I think the only thing I couldn't envision myself being a part of is the sleeping arrangements. Like, of course, being in bathing suits, yeah. But having to sleep with a stranger, and not only that, in a room with 15 other people, it's actually very unsettling. Like, what if you fart? Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of farting.

Yeah. Like, I haven't slept with a stranger since I was, like, in college. Well, camp. Yeah, I guess. But, like, like in camp you're only with girls and like you're all just like yeah farting and like you're shaving your legs like you're like yeah all like gross together but like with boys like you wouldn't wouldn't do that yeah that's the part that like I also I felt that way about too hot to handle and the too hot to handle beds are very small I think they're full size mattresses where I think is in Island, they're all queen size. Yeah, no, it seems like pretty like a good setup.

And I'm sure they got comfortable. Maybe at first it's weird, but I think they're like comfortable now. I'm sure when they go home, they like miss all their camp friends. That's how I used to feel at camp. Like it missed the, you know, the loudness of the bunk. And then you get back to your home and it's like so silent. So quiet. I think as a child, I went through like many, many depression after camp.

Like I took it really hard. I think most that's a sign of a good summer a hundred percent now I crave the winters um and that is our show that is our show so for next week let's talk about it I have lined up a couple guests a couple premium guests I'm really excited to watch the schedule is not set yet so I will be posting at some point over the weekend, the entire schedule for next week. I'm really hoping to do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday in studio with fabulous co-hosts. And then you and I can catch up Thursday, Friday with some podcasts only trans Atlantic continental trans continental content. So, um, stay tuned. I will keep you abreast, but I'm just working on some last minute logistics.

I've got two out of three of the co-hosts booked, looking to host one more, but I'll keep you abreast as always. But we'll be in studio on Monday. So just stay with us. Yeah. I'm so excited to watch. I'm excited for my trip. I'm going to miss you guys, but I'm really excited. I'm excited to get away. You know, I always come back with so, with a whole new energy, joie de vivre, stories to tell. And I really, I think that I need that. You know, it's like this heat of July and like it's time for me to go. And it's time for us to go into our weekends

and for you to go back to work or to start drinking. I don't know. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the past five stories that you, yes, you need to know before you wake up. Monday through Friday. Before you wake up and take a bite out of your mouth. No.

Before you. This is what the problem we had yesterday. Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the past five stories every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places.

So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us. Morning Toast, leave a five-star review about how beautiful, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places. So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us on your shows, leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are. Now that we know that a lot of people still listen because all of you guys left the matcha emoji today. I think shark emoji today. Oh, for sure. Shark emoji on our Instagram.

This is like a secret little society. I'm so excited. Thank you. I can't believe how many people commented on our Instagram. It was so fun to watch. Love you guys. We have to wrap it up so people don't think there's something happening.

Love you guys. Have a great day. We'll see you on Monday. Enjoy your weekend. Bye. Shark attack. Bye.