The Toast - S4 Ep160: Chessie-Gate: Friday, September 10th, 2021

Episode Date: September 10, 2021

Jonah Hill Confirms New Romance With Sarah Brady in Must-See Photo (E! News) Kim Kardashian's son Saint broke his arm 'in a few places' (Page Six) Rebel Wilson Reunites with Pitch Perfect Costars For Her 41st Birthday: 'Bellas Be Ballin' (PEOPLE) The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City's Season 2 Taglines Revealed (E! News) Facebook On Your Face (The Verge) The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Morning Toast and happy Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend. Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Oh my god, it feels so good. on Friday. Oh my god, it feels so good. It's such a beautiful, stunning, and smart Friday, especially here in New York. Like the weather is that gorgeous, perfect fall weather, and it's a Friday, and what more could you ask for? No, and I just want everyone to acknowledge a space that they're in. Congratulations to you. You did this. You raised the bar. You made it to Friday. No one else did it for you. Absolutely not.

And we're just honored, really humbled, and humbled to be here. And to be ushering you into this Friday. Just call us Usher. We're just so positive, you know? We are radiating positivity, even though, like, I'm doing my absolute best not to give into my hangover. Good. Like, I'm just a girl at work who happens to have drank last night, you know? You can do both.

Plenty of people do it every day. Millions of Americans. Yeah, like, I'm just going to be giving my all to this show, and when I'm done with being the ball of charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent that I am, I'm going to crumble. Okay. But I'm giving it everything I have. That sounds like a great plan. Did you have fun last night? Tell us about the U.S. Open. It looks like it was covered. You know, the U.S. Open is such an event, you know? It's glamorous. It is an event.

That is true. Yes, it's true. But you know, every year I go, I'm like, oh my god, this is so fun. I should go more. And then I remember it like only happens once a year for like two weeks. Yeah. But it was just really elegant and fun and the celeb packed. Like me and Brian were eating dinner. I mean, it's such good food in the Emirates Lounge. Me and Brian like could not stop going back up to the buffet. And there were so many. It was Celeb Central. Wanda Sykes.

I saw. Liza Koshy. Nice. Jesse Palmer, whom I literally could not put my finger on who this motherfucker was. Like, it was bothering me so much because I was sitting next to him. I was like, can you say my seat? And then he was like, can you say my seat? It's like we had this cute interaction.

And I'm like, you're either. Jesse's girl? Literally. I was like, you're either from a Hallmark movie or i could not he's actually from a little bit of everything he's a former nfl player he was the bachelor and now he hosts daily mail tv so he does it all no it was and then i literally like snuck a picture of him and sent it to you guys and i was like guys who the fuck is this jackie nailed it jesse motherfucking palmer and it just like my night was better after that.

Once I figured it out. I once ran into Jesse Palmer on an evening out, and my night was made better for it. He's so charming. I'm not even lying. He was so cute. And I, like, said I'm a big fan. He's charming as hell. Mm-hmm.

He's with a girl, though. I think that's his leading lady. She's gorgeous. And same with the time that I was out and I saw him. He was with his leading lady. I love someone who just, just like has a leading lady. Yeah. So it was so fun.

And then like we went down to the seats and like, oh my God, I was living for the match because I could see the sweat. Like Brian's seats were amazing. And who was playing? Fernandez. I don't know who the other person was because she lost. But she's this unranked 18 year old who's just like made it the whole way. And that was the quarterfin was because she lost. But she's this unranked 18-year-old who's just, like, made it the whole way. And that was the quarterfinals, I think.

And she won. Like, it's an amazing story. A true historic moment. Cool. And it was so fun. But, like, you know, it took, like, an hour and a half to get there. And then, like, just by the time I got there, like, I was really wasted. Like, just because, like, we were drinking in the car.

And then, like, the car makes you drunk. And it was just, like, it all got, like, it all got away from me so quickly. And I was drinking rosé, so it was, like, I was, like, silly, you know? But did you have one of those U.S. Open drinks? Oh, my God. Okay. So suddenly everyone knows what the honeydew is or whatever it's called. Deuce.

Yes. Everywhere. Last night, because I went out afterwards, people were like, did you have the honeydew so I'm like why does everyone know what that is Brian got when he's like you want one I'm like what is it he said it's vodka I'm like no I'm okay and everyone's like you went to the U.S. Open and didn't have a honeydews okay well now I'm annoyed that I asked because I don't want to sound like like everyone else it's a classic thing I didn't know it's like going to the Kentucky Derby not having a mint julep you know exactly I didn't know that that was a thing.

Okay, next time. Everyone was drinking these like pinkish purple drinks and now I know what they are. Hopefully you get invited again and you'll write this wrong. It was so fun. Like really just a great way to spend a summer evening. I'm so happy for you. And it looks like you found something to wear because you were clothed. I did.

And it wasn't even that hard, which was just like a delight. Like put an extra pep in my step. Amazing. And Brian just got his new apartment in the city so i went over to see it and like honestly i wanted to kill myself like you were feeling inspired it's hard to see other people living your dream he literally he said it unprompted he was like think of like you know the winter here like we'll see the snow and i'm like what did you just say maybe you should move in with brian you guys could be roommates my dream his my dream. His tub was amazing. It's just gorgeous. And now I'm like obsessed with his building.

So like if I, it's like kind of stalker-ish in me, but like what if I lived in the same building as Brian? So fun. So that would be really fun. That's the dream I've been trying to get you to move into my building. I know, but your building doesn't have outdoor space.

Actually, this one doesn't either. I think I might have to give up on that part of my dream. Yeah. You can't, you don't get the whole dream. No, I don't.

And honestly, through this process I'm learning, I can't you don't get the whole dream no i don't and honestly through this process i'm learning i don't even get like half the dream you get the dream minus two to three can i ask you a question sure did you watch addison ran watch happens live no i didn't because you know what i was watching last night only murders in the building did you like it i liked it so much i there's four episodes did? Oh no, one more came out. I can't. I guess I'm like one ahead of you. You were right about everything. Selena Gomez is just like such a star. She's not distracting. So convincing, not distracting, but like every time I see her, I'm like, what's she wearing? What's she doing? Right. And she really is giving me like a little Alex Russo. I'm not

going to lie. Like with that attitude, you know? Of course. She's got that attitude. So it's so crazy. Like we always say this, but like no matter how many, how much people change, you know? Of course. So it's nice. She's got that attitude. So it's so crazy. Like we always say this, but like no matter how many, how much people change, you know, they metamorphosize. Like she's still Alex Russo at the end of the day. Totally. So I really enjoyed that. And then I didn't watch Watch What Happens Live

because I completely forgot, but I did watch Addison Rae's pizza review. That's why I brought it up because I wanted to talk about what I watched this morning, which was her pizza review with Dave Portnoy and I have to say like I have never in my life seen someone as smitten with anyone as Dave Portnoy was by Addison Rae and I don't mean in like a romantic way I just think he was like very taken aback by her grace and her beauty and her maturity because he was like smiling the whole time he was like visibly sm smoke yeah but what's also so crazy is like he gets such big stars on

pizza review like he had machine gun kelly and he's always like cool as a cucumber and we were saying this about addison but like she is like so a plus plus plus list like she might be the biggest star that he's had but he has so many big stars, you know? No, and I could get the vibe that like he was nervous. Like she was just being effortlessly like cool. And it just made me, and honestly, like I know I'm a hypocrite because like the age difference, but like I ship so fucking hard.

And like, of course when it's like a million Scott, we're like, we cannot talk about this. This is illegal. But now with Addison and Dave Porter, like I think that would be the cutest motherfucking couple of all time. Sorry.

Like I said it. I don't disagree. You know, she has she has a boyfriend yeah and he's not it but she seems really happy it's not it for her she's so giggly smiley she was just radiating i don't even know like what the word is she was like effervescent yeah on the pizza review and she didn't even like do anything special she was just like being star quality star quality and i really like that dave asked like how she's been handling the fame because that was like that was the lingering question from the D'Amelio show it's like what happened to Addison how's Addison doing and she shared that you know like it definitely has been

hard but it's gotten better in recent months and I actually like I there was I felt like there was more to that story and I you know we said on the show that we felt like Addison was having an easier go of it but perhaps she's not well I saw yesterday that Addison said on the show that we felt like Addison was having an easier go of it, but perhaps she's not. Well, I saw yesterday that Addison was on the Not Skinny, Not Fat podcast. You sent that to me. And I actually feel like Amanda, who's obsessed with Addison, who hosts that podcast, will do like a really good, like I will be listening to that. I hope they recorded it. I want to watch it.

Yeah. Because Addison's just gorgeous. Yeah. It looks like they were in the studio that we were just in for Dear Media and they do have cameras in there. Oh, right. Yes. So hopefully we get a video.

Not to like totally change like the vibe of the show right now. But I've been thinking a lot and like seeing so much content about tomorrow being the 20th anniversary of 9-11. Yes. And I just like I cannot. I don't know why I'm like struggling with it like 20 years. I'm struggling with it too. I'm glad that you brought it up because obviously we don't have a show tomorrow but that's right something that we would have spoken about I'm I don't have the words for all of the different

feelings that I'm feeling that I feel like everyone's feeling there's been a lot of like tributes yeah and um shows and articles like you know on Netflix specials like specials and I I don't know that I have the stomach I know to watch 9-11 stuff makes me so emotional like I'm literally gonna cry right now I it's just a really heavy day always the 20th anniversary and then also just like right now it's just heavy times and then just like hearing people like we always like share like where we were I think I was in the third grade and like everyone was going home and we didn't know what was up and the teacher teacher, I remember my teacher was like, there's been an accident.

I'm like, okay, accident. And just hearing other people's version of, like, how they experienced it is really weird. It's just, like, it's so crazy. And you're right, there have been, like, a lot of specials. I actually really want to watch Robin Roberts interviewed, like, the kids of 9-11, like, lost parents like when they were like in middle school um but there was also a special that was like from the babies of 9-11 like they were in utero and their

dads passed away oh my god so like they never met their dads and now they're 20 oh my god also i did see another special it was like um the uh I think maybe it was nine people maybe I'm getting confused because last night they did like a the first nine women in the U.S. Open but like nine female firefighters I saw that there's like the women of the women of 9-11 yeah I definitely want to watch that um it's just heavy and I just feel like I don't know I wanted to talk about it yeah no I'm glad that you did because I was gonna bring it up but there's never really a good time in the middle of the show

so I don't know but on a lighter note I'm drinking out of my Love Island water bottle and I think I got a text I always feel like Shannon when I do that oh that's funny so you like the water bottle and I think I got a text I always feel like Shannon when I do that oh that's funny so you like the water bottle

in the words of Addison Rae obsessed Addison love her she's in the city like she did not come on the toast I know but we didn't even we don't even try like yeah I know we were always like oh this person didn't come on the toast right did we reach out no totally honestly make it any indication that that was something that we wanted can i tell you something just between us and the viewers yeah i like sometimes hate having guests like honestly not the interviewing part but like that before like the social battery of it all like like hi how are you like honestly like i'm too like i'm like kind of like an introvert i'm like not like other girls you're the least introverted person I've ever met. No, but when it comes to those types of.

The lead up anxiety for every interview that we have, even if it's on Zoom. Like, it just. It, like, ruins my day. It ruins, like, my week until it happens and then it's great. Yeah. And that's always good. But, like, it definitely. You've been loving the term social battery.

Because you know what? Somebody. Who wouldn't you get it? I heard it somewhere. I heard it somewhere. And it's so accurate like I do not have a lot of social battery yeah I like the term social battery pretty good yeah like your bat like my battery is like constantly at a low yeah my battery's

really low these days I gotta head to my recharging station Ben's neck do you get my reference I do oh so I started I told you that the other book that I thought was the sequel so it's its own series I just found out and people were telling me that that it's amazing and like each series is better than the next so I'm keeping with it good because if I hadn't told you it happens one summer is an amazing book you would have read the beginning and been like this is moronic cheesy like hallmark And that's how I'm feeling about this book. But the more I read yesterday, I was like, oh, my God. Like, so obsessed with Travis and Georgie.

Like, need them to be together forever. Okay, good. Yeah. I'm glad to hear it. We love some positive reading news. I'll let you know when I've kind of finished the series. That'll be my next update. Great.

That's a great journey for you. Thank you. What are you reading? I'm still reading The Social Races. The Social Battery? I'm, like, 65% of the way through i really like it honestly it's good i but like then i don't know what i'm gonna read next i need just a series or something or i need a new rabbit hole i need her up i need a new rabbit read twilight bitch i don't know oh my god i sent jackie the funniest tiktok yesterday about this guy who lost his fantasy football

league and his punishment like from his friends was he had to read Twilight and then do a book report like video testimonial. And he fell in love with Twilight. He actually said he cried at the end of the book. And he gave the funniest book report like for his like friends. It was the best thing I'd ever seen and made me wish I had a dad. Oh, that's really sad and sweet. TikTok's always making me do that.

Like wishing I had a dad. Well, you just want to let you know, you send me TikToks like i asked you to do like the funny ones yeah the good ones and you're just not sending me premium tiktoks and then i think you would tiktok you are such a fucking pain in the ass i think you would tiktok that was funny and you're like saw that so why didn't you send it to me because you know i would have thought it was funny it was about a silent disco okay honestly because the effort that it takes to have to send it in a text is so fucking like like with margo because we send them via tiktok message you literally hold down the screen, press Margo. Like it couldn't be fucking easier.

Then I have to leave the app, copy, link, like torture. Oh my God, please. Torture. Please. Because you're a fucking grandma who won't get with the program. No, I feel so, every time you send me a TikTok and it's not funny, I feel really good about my decision to not have TikTok. Because it feels as though your guys' bar for things that are funny is getting lower and lower did you like my um the twilight one though i didn't watch it you are such a bitch you sent it at a bad time you sent it at a bad time what

time it was five o'clock yeah that's the worst time of day for me because that's when i'm taking my nap so and then when i come out of my nap i'm worse off and i need like an hour honestly if i can be honest with you these days it doesn't ever really seem like a good time for you you're either getting ready for your nap you're either napping or you're just waking from from your nap like I know you have a child but I'm still important too Jackie I give you an hour and a half of my day work that doesn't count unbridled and I call you like 10 times a day and every time I call you I say hello beautiful she does are you doing she does and I'm like what do you want looking so beautiful today she does I swear you guys she's not lying she does

do that it's actually shocking she's like hello beautiful you could be looking so gorgeous or literally like a rat in your butt and she's like oh my god you look stunning all right thanks you have such good taste a rat in your butt oh up. Why can't you just let it go? No, I wasn't trying to call you out. I was like, that was funny. No, I was more so trying to say you're looking like a rat who permanently resides inside your own butthole. I just didn't have time to come up with the good joke.

No, I was saying that it's funny. You're just taking everything that I'm saying as adversarial, and that's on you. By the way, we agree. That is 100% on me. I'm just, I don't know, maybe struggling with some self-esteem issues that I'm, like, currently working through. Or, or, less seriously, it's just, you know, the effects of alcohol. I know I say this all the time, but the effects of alcohol. Like, I had so much fun last night.

Like, I was just out and about, like, like living my best life hobnobbing with celebs like you know shit I live for and then this and I wouldn't trade it I wouldn't I mean I got into a fight at a gay bar with Margot oh I met Snatcher last night this she was looking gorgeous she was looking gorgeous I hate to be that person but like uh it was my dress that she was borrowing be that person no no but i feel like so i feel so good about it because i gave her all of my like little tiny dresses that i will never fucking wear again by the way you know who you look like today who chessie that's such a that's so funny i'm not doing this show anymore i quit that's so mean i thought you were gonna be like

julia roberts like like for those listening listening to the podcast, Jackie's wearing like an over, is that Zach's shirt? No, it's from, okay, it's just like a journey. I think you look amazing. I did not mean that as an insult. It's from Sturettes. And you know that like they have these big fucking shoulders that are too big for my shoulders. But here's the thing. Either you need to leave or I'm leaving.

Because this couch is too big, too small for the both of us. Because the offense was too grave. I'm sorry. But by the way, I feel like it was so offensive to you because it's hella accurate. You're just digging, digging, digging. Sorry, no. You don't want me on the show. I don't think it takes away from the fact that you look absolutely gorgeous today.

And I really do love... When you walked in today, didn't I say, hello, fabulous? I said, you look fabulous. Okay, okay. I really don't want fabulous? I said, you look fabulous. Okay, okay. I really don't want this to take anything away from your outfit. I just think you do look like Jessie. Say it again. I dare you.

Say it again, and you'll finally know how it feels to do the show on your own. You look like Jessie. No. We have our first walk-off. I feel like we say that every time someone walks off. Yeah. No. You know what? I'm a mature feel like we say that every time someone walks off. Yeah. No. You know what?

I'm a mature adult and I can compartmentalize this offense. And I can forgive. That's okay. If you want to tell me what I look like because I know I look like a rat who permanently resides inside my own butthole. I can forgive but I will not forget. Even though you didn't even say sorry. But it's fine.

By the way, I don't really feel like. Okay. I'm sorry that the words hurt you. I really am. But I just I think it's important to know the way, I don't really feel like, okay, I'm sorry that the words hurt you. I really am. But I just, I think it's important to know the intention behind them was so pure. Okay. Does that help? I'm sorry.

You know what? Yes. And I'm going to bookmark this incident because there's times that I've said something to you, you take such offense to it, and I'm like, but that's not how I meant it. Yeah. And I'm just going to say, Chessie. Wow. Okay. I really dug myself in a deep Jackie doesn't forget shit you guys like I'm fucked like I'll never win an argument ever again possible that I meant like nothing nefarious you just like took it as a personal offense just like the time you call me Chessie you love the

word nefarious I do what does it mean it just means evil malintended yeah malintended okay yeah cool well i feel like i'm ready to dive in yeah i feel like we should dive in that we were talking about something before we got so sidetracked by chessie oh we were talking about alcohol oh yeah so like today i'm like because honestly i was reading like oh this is what i was gonna say because and it's the only reason why i brought it back up have you ever seen the episode of watch what happens live with john mayer where he talks about like why he stopped drinking he's like the loan shark it's the only reason why I brought it back up. Have you ever seen the episode of Watch What Happens Live with John Mayer, where he talks about why he stopped drinking and he was the loan shark? It's just too high a price. Yeah.

But also, I feel like John Mayer has no real friends or family. And that can be a lonely place waking up hungover. But I wake up in my home with my dog and my husband. And I come to work with my amazing, gorgeous sister who looks nothing like Jessie. And I never said she looked like Jessie. I just said her looked like Jessie. I just said her outfit was heavily inspired by her. I just feel like, yeah, it's different.

Okay, but what he was saying was like, you have like a few good hours on alcohol and then you have, you know, 24 to 48 really bad ones. And that's just like an unfair price. He doesn't want to pay it anymore. No, when he said that, I love that episode, by the way. I'm so glad you brought that up. Who was he with, Dan Rather? I think he was solo. Gorgeous, I love that episode, by the way. I'm so glad you brought that up. Who was he with? Dan Rather? I think he was solo.

Gorgeous. I loved that episode. And the logic is 100% right. But I'm feeling right now. And that's why he said he switched to marijuana or whatever. Right. So even though I'm not feeling my best right now, I wouldn't trade it. I had such a good time.

I was out and about. I left my house at 5 o'clock. And I got home at 3 a.m. So it wasn't a few hours of fun. It was 10. Okay. So I stand by my decision. I really do. Okay. Good. So it wasn't a few hours of fun. It was 10. Okay. So I stand by my decision. I really do.

Okay. Good. Because it's the one you got. I knew you were going to fucking say that. Okay. Without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast. And today's episode is brought to you by Honey.

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First story, you guys. Ruthie, close your ears. Jonah Hill confirms a new romance with Sarah Brady in a must-see photo. That's disgusting. Yeah. Before Summer officially comes to an end, the actor decided to make Summer worse

by sharing his romance with Sarah Brady and making it making it instagram official on thursday he took to social media and shared a couple's photo from inside an undisclosed restaurant he captioned the picture saying grateful for you at sarah brady not at ruthie okay so i feel like it's been a while since we gave like a whole download on who ruthie is and And I don't even know if Ruthie's a toaster. And every time we talk about her. She's definitely not. She like. She doesn't fuck with us at all.

I think she entered Whitney's protection after. Witness protection. Witness protection. I'm like, who's Whitney? I just didn't know what it came out sounding like. I think she entered witness protection after everything that happened. Now, we will give the briefing on Ruthie because it's germane to this story. And every time Jonah Hill has a new lady love, we must share the injustice that happened to Ruthie.

But I feel like we did talk about it recently because he was with Gianna and they bought a house and we were like, should have been Ruthie on that roof. Ruthie. Okay, so here's the backstory. So back in the day, we used to run this really hella toxic Facebook group. And here's the perfect example of why it was so fucking toxic. This is the perfect example. So this girl, Ruthie, was was like wrote wrote and she's like oh man you guys I'm freaking out like I am DMing with Jonah Hill like how do I be cool she was just like asking for advice

I guess like she saw him on the street or something and then like she DMed him being like hi I just saw you and like he remembered because he was like oh he was very taken by Ruthie's beauty how could he not be this is like is like an old wives tale now. Yeah. Because honestly, we never heard from Ruthie again. And I feel like it was literally, she was never even here. Like, it's an urban legend. Ruthie is living like in Australia with her twin sister.

And Alex McCord. So she writes in the group. She's like, oh my God, can you girls help me? Like, I want to be cool. And like, I really want to go out with him. Like, what should I say? I'm talking to Jonah Hill. And like, he was, they were vibing. And it was all in real time. And she was really just came to the cool and like I really want to go out with him like what should I say I'm talking to Jonah Hill and like he was they were vibing and it was all in real time and

she was really just came to the group like looking for solace and a lot of the ladies in the group were like giving good you know okay great advice like we were all dming we all dm Jonah Hill we all dm Jonah Hill and honestly like she came to the group looking for you know sisterhood yeah and what she got she was a knife in the back she knew she got some sisterhood and a knife and then some actual i don't even bridge troll thought they saw the post this toaster definitely not a toaster anymore saw the the dms and the whole thing happening in the facebook group and she whole thing happening in the facebook group and she took it upon herself to go message jonah hill and be like this girl you're talking to is blowing up your spot like in a facebook group sending screenshots from the facebook group

and honestly we should have known back then that the facebook group was not going in a good direction and we should have just saved ourselves all the heartache and just close it down then ruthie was a cautionary tale but then obviously obviously like Jonah never spoke to Ruthie again. She was so devastated and she really did not, she was doing nothing nefarious. Nothing nefarious. She was really, she wasn't bragging.

She was coming to the group for help. Technically what the bridge troll said was true. Like she was screenshotting her DMs and putting them in a Facebook group, but in a non-nefarious way. And like Ruthie. Non-nefarious way at all. Ruthie loved Jonah for who he was. No, literally.

And all she wanted was for it to work out and she wanted her best possible shot. So I don't know what the lesson here is. I think it's don't spend too much time in Facebook groups. And that was like a lesson we needed to learn the hard way. Yeah. So he's moved on again. Ruthie lost her shot.

And now he's, you know, in relationship after relationship trying to find that connection that he had with Ruthie. her shot and now he's you know in relationship after relationship trying to find that connection that he had with Ruthie and and that's why it's not working out because Gianna was not Ruthie Sarah is not Ruthie but let's watch him try yeah and I don't even I love Jonah Hill by the way like I feel like he's like one of my celebrity crushes like not in a physical way well his I just love his work and like his vibe yeah i agree he's like yeah like how he's like so like jokey but also like was in a movie with leonardo dicaprio yeah yeah like i just feel like he actually would be a great boyfriend i'm sure and ruthie will never know what that's like and she'll never know and she'll never be on the roofie

with ruthie it's disgusting it's really it makes me upset to even think about it does so anyways now whenever there's jonah hill news like we're all just like okay justice this is nice but justice for ruthie and so if you go to the e-news instagram post i was literally liking every single comment all of the comments on this picture where they talk about this news or justice for ruthie and you know i'm just'm just going to put out one. I've tried this before. I mean, never heard from Ruthie, but I just want to try one more time.

Like Ruthie, can I, I want to know what your life is like. Like, I miss you. Like, what, like,

what do you do for a living? Where do you live? Did you ever meet Jonah? Like, I just want to follow up like on this dear toaster. It's like, I just want to know, like,

are you still a toaster? If anybody knows the Ruthie from justice for Ruthie, by the way, I love the name Ruthie. I'm obsessed. Please, reach out. I just want to know if she's doing well. Yeah, and I just want to close this chapter. I do.

I feel like I haven't really been able to move on in my life since this story was just ripped out from underneath me. That was the worst day. It was atrocious. It was atrocious. Oh, my God. And Jonah just keeps reminding us of it every time he enters into a new relationship.

No, every time he shows his face. Of course we wish him the best. Of course. But we just know it's not going to work out. Because it's not Ruthie. We're not psychic. We just know. Anyways, we'll keep you posted on if Jonah and Ruthie ever meet.

And we'll keep you posted on if we ever hear from Ruthie again. But if somebody knows Ruthie, like... But then Ruthie's not going to reach out. She's been burned once. That's if Jonah and Ruthie ever meet. And we'll keep you posted on if we ever hear from Ruthie again. But if somebody knows Ruthie, like... But then Ruthie's not going to reach out. She's been burned once. That's so true, Ruthie. I will not tell anyone. Ruthie, your secret is safe with us. Secret's safe with us.

Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Kim Kardashian says her son's saint broke his arm in a few places. Oh, my God. And she says he is not okay. You know, it's so funny. I was actually recently thinking about how weird it was that, like, as kids, none of us ever broke a bone. Yeah. It's, like it's like very rare right kids do it all the time

all the time kids saint that's what kids do that's what kids do that's what kids they keep you guessing the whole day through play your emotions push all your buttons it's true do do that's what girls do oh sorry i forgot we were doing a parody honestly i'm feeling really stifled by this triangle these days it's not doing you want to graduate to a new it's not doing anything for me i'm thinking like a tamarine okay or a set of bongos okay i think you know we do one level at a time yeah i'm just like so over this definitely mastered the triangle and maybe because like we never assembled it properly like the piece that's supposed to you're supposed to hold it at the top because we don't have that i just feel like this is moronic like no it's not it's added so much value to our show

what other podcasts can say they have triangles none and also it reminds me of only murders in the building because he has his harmonica and that was like i mean the director was way too hard on steve martin i agree like he his voice is fine and the music added a lot wait also who's your favorite character in only murders i think mine's martin short mine's not martin short he's like a little too chaotic. Oh, he's funny. And like frazzled and like. By the way, aren't those apartments gorgeous? Well, not Selena Gomez's, but gorgeous. Gorgeous, yes, truly.

And I like the building. I like the courtyard. Me too. My favorite character is probably Selena right now. Wow. Gotta keep an eye out for Selena. And you know what happens when you don't? Murders in the building.

Only murders. But I gotta keep an eye out for selena and you know what happens when you don't murder's in the building only murder but i gotta keep an eye out for selena kim revealed that her little boy suffered the unfortunate injury in a slew of posts shared on her instagram story on thursday she first uploaded a picture of saint sitting in a wheelchair while icing his arm later the distressed mom shared a photo of her son cradling his arm after his cast had been set who do you think cried more today my baby broke his arm in a few places today. I'm not okay. So sad. So sad.

Poor Saint. Poor Saintie. Saintie. Her kids are really making a lot of news these days. Did you see like North went viral for like making fun of her influencer voice? No. Oh, because like Kim was recording like her videos. You know when she like shoots product.

Hi guys. Yeah. And so North was like, why are you talking like this? And then she's like you're talking like hi. North is a savage. And then I guess Penelope was there too and Kim was like do I talk different? And they were like yeah. Oh my god calling her out. Calling her out. But I mean everybody has their influencer voice. Okay guys so. Yeah I saw you did an ad yesterday. You were putting on major influencer voice. I feel like I was very true to myself. So authentic.

I don't feel like there was an influencer voice in the room. Okay, I feel like my influencer voice is... No, your influencer voice, I know it. It's like a more high pitch. Yeah, like... Hold on. And you sometimes throw a scream in there. What?

Like... I've literally never done that. Ever. I think that you have. No. i don't even know like how to conjure up that sound like you know when influencers do that they're like i can't believe i got this oh yeah no they'd be like oh you guys no i always say you guys but i think my voice is like let me just hold on hi guys no yes yeah yes. Yes. Yeah? Yes. Hey, guys. Welcome back to my channel.

I'm so excited that you're here. I hope you all have an amazing day and you're all fat and ugly. I just felt like being savage. That is it. Yeah. Hi, guys. Yeah. Yeah.

That's really funny. Honestly, like, witnessing other people, like, put on their influencer persona, like, in real life is so cringy. Like, you could die. Yeah, I agree. So that's how North feels all the time, I guess. Every single day of her life. That's really, really funny.

The life of North. Are you ready for our next story? Only if it's a story that's brought to you by Bruch. Oh, it is. The best electric toothbrush on the market. You guys, we've been telling you and you've been listening, but I feel like a lot of you still don't have your Bruch and you got to get it because electric toothbrushes can cost over $200, which is moronic, but they work really well. Bruch is literally the best

electric toothbrush on the market and it's super affordable. You got to go electric and you got to go Bruch. The Bruch comes with six unique modes to customize your Bruching experience. It has a four-week battery life, a magnetic charging stand, and a compact travel case. They also offer a subscription program, so you never forget to change your brush head again. Bruch will ship you a new replacement head for your brush every six months, so you're never stuck using a worn-down brush head. Bruch's electric toothbrush has a modern, aesthetically pleasing design, and it comes in trend-driven seasonal colors and looks great on your bathroom counter. You know what I'm, like, really excited about? I know everyone's like excited, you know, fashion week, spring, summer, whatever. I cannot wait for the fall drop from Bruce.

I'm serious. I think, I'm thinking we're going to get like Auburn, like maybe a chestnut. I don't know. Like I'm just saying it's going to be Quaken. No, the trend driven seasonal colors, like they are driving the trends. And you know what they are? They're trend driven. You get 15% off your Bruce toothbrush kit and the refill plan when you use the are they're trend driven you get 15 off your bruce

toothbrush kit and the refill plan when you use the promo code toast at bruce.com that's 15 off using promo code toast at brush.com thank you for that claudia now i feel it's a pleasure i feel ready for the next story good hold on just a little burp oh some acid reflux yeah harpern yet yeah i do get harburn, especially at night. Like, it's really annoying. What? I read that Tums actually give you more heartburn. Explain.

They have, like, calcium or something in them that contributes to heartburn, but it does also temporarily... Relieve. And it's, honestly, a Tum can save your motherfucking life. Like, I think Tums are the most magical creation I want to you know pray at the altar of tums like I think they're amazing but when I learned that it really devastated me damn I mean I haven't taken tums yet I believe that I can take tums but I also think that you know heartburn gets worse later on in the pregnancy so like I kind of don't

want to spoil it yet yes but I by the way I've heard from like millions of pregnant women that like Tums saves you yeah I just like I just am always waiting for things to get worse before like I just that's really probably what I miss most in pregnancy is just like medication right like something hurts let me take something honestly feeling stressed Xanax I don't think I'll be able to do that no it's it's probably like I miss more than alcohol yeah just like a pill for every problem I literally I don't think a day goes by where I don't take Advil or something for like my head I mean obviously my magical migraine pills just like you I just feel like you could take it like I feel like you know if one of these days I'm blessed with a child I'm just really not gonna be able to like

do all these rules like I'm just gonna not going to be able to like do all these rules. Like I'm just going to eat whatever I want. Well, everyone has to do what's best for them. So I wouldn't say you have to do exactly what I'm doing, but. Okay, what? So I take Advil and the baby's headache goes away? Like you're welcome, baby. Like what could be bad about Advil?

I just, oh, but you can take Tylenol, right? Waste of time. I know, but at least it's something. No, no, no, it's nothing. No, if you're in a dire situation, like I have had a Tylenol save my life on. on never maybe one occasion you then you were fine to begin with stop okay next story rebel wilson reunites with her pitch perfect co-stars for her 41st birthday she said bella's be ballin that's funny rebels have turned 40 rebels rebel may have turned 41

in march but she still managed to celebrate the occasion with a special group of friends for her half birthday the actress reunited with a number of her perfect co-stars including anna kendrick and britney snow on a tropical getaway in tahiti and out of her latest trip around the sun so fucking fun it really does she said bella's be ballin could not have loved these ladies more 10 years since we met and instantly harmonized she wrote alongside a photo of the group in 80s themed swimwear i love anna camp like i'm obsessed um and i just don't know why her and skylar astin didn't work out and i just read the other day that like he broke up with his his other relationships just ended i feel like it's him it's definitely him

you know um this is really cute that they're all friends still yeah and you know they're like there have been many things said about Anna Kendrick. Like she's a nasty bitch. Really? I don't know. I feel like if you're a nasty bitch, like you don't become friends with your co-stars, especially less famous ones like Anna Camp. Like.

Yeah. Anna Kendrick is the one that I just said. Yeah. And Anna Camp. No, she's there too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I'm saying like, you don't like rendezvous with your co-stars from 10 years ago if you're

like a mean person. And like your, your co-stars don't invite like, rendezvous with your co-stars from 10 years ago if you're, like, a mean person. No, and, like, your co-stars don't invite you to rendezvous with them if you're a mean person. I don't recall hearing that about her. Oh, I have. And it's all over Dumas. She's, like, known in the industry as, like, the worst person ever. What? Yeah.

That's so the antithesis of, like, the vibe that she puts out. I just think it's important. Which probably makes it true. Right. It's important lest we not forget. She really got her career started in Twilight. I just think it's important. Which probably makes it true. Right. It's important lest we not forget. She really got her career started in Twilight. And also that movie Camp.

Is she in that movie? I believe so. No. I believe she is. Camp movie. That movie is so underrated. It's about like a theater camp. Yep.

Anna Kendrick. All these kids are dealing with their own issues. Oh, who is she? Fritzy. Yeah,itzy yeah yeah yeah oh man that movie's so good and that's singing at the end what's the song you know what i'm talking about olivia would know what i'm talking about yeah i think i do know what you're talking about is it um what song does she sing at the end and like that talent show where her jaw was wired shut that was fucking crazy that was crazy you should just watch it and give us a recap yeah that's a really you know sometimes i haven't seen in a while so sometimes movies don't age like when i recommend people movies that i haven't seen in like 20 years no don't recommend them to others like watch does

camp age well i don't probably not but if you've seen it when you were young it will still mean something to you when you're old that's true if you only watch it for the first time like us with first wives club it means nothing so true the worst movie ever yeah but like or like heartbreakers is one of those movies where for me it's the best movie ever no Jackie I'm telling you even if you don't have a connection to it heartbreakers is an unbelievable movie really because when we recommended for toast movie of the week like the reviews were mixed I can't just say like how grateful I am to not be doing toast movie of the week I was putting so much of my we were doing toast movie of the day literally like and I put so much of my heart like

into the selections and and just for people to like hate movies that I felt so connected to like was really fucking upsetting I'm sure that's how people felt when we hated first wives club like I think it was actually a really toxic time and I don't want to do it ever again I agree and we were just trying to help because we thought it was two weeks to flatten the curve. Yeah. We were going to watch a movie every day for two weeks and it would be over. But I did see some I did see some movies I never would have seen. I was actually just thinking I forget what it was of that scene in the was the Butler when I don't remember what I was thinking, but there were a couple of movies I was glad I saw. But for the most part, I really did not enjoy people hating my movies agreed and we have watched some great movies

Shutter Island oh my god that started it all toast movie um but no that dark period of like the two weeks to flatten the curve two weeks to flatten the curve where we were just picking movies every day like sleepover and like fun that was if we didn't do sleepover we never would have gotten Julie Julie Corky yeah but the invention of lying I don't want to trigger I don't want to go actually I'm being heavily triggered I don't want to hurt you this is meant to be a safe space I just want to say I stand by the choice for the invention of lying like okay was it a great film no have every time I've seen it like I never actually finish it?

Yes. I don't even know how it ends. But I stand by that, like, this utopian world was, like, it was a good idea for a movie. Like, I stand by all of it. I agree. I agree. But then, like, people coming for our necks just because of that movie. Like, we didn't make the movie.

We just made you watch it. It was just toxic, but also little children. Please, now you're triggering me. That movie is unbelievable, and I stand by that. No. Patrick Wilson's in it, and he's hot. You're hurting me. Okay.

You're taking me to a place I don't want to go to. All right. Next story. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City's season two taglines are here. Oh. Yes, they came out a few days ago, and I keep meaning to make it a story, and I've forgotten until today.

Oh, I'm so glad. This is a good one. Okay. Jen Shah, first up. The only thing I'm guilty of is being Shah-mazing. And defrauding millions of Americans. Millions of vulnerable, elderly, gullible Americans. Stop.

I cannot believe, I'm sorry to everyone listening to this podcast. Like I've been drinking this LaCroix and I cannot stop burping into the microphone. Like if you're, if you think you're hearing phantom burps, you're not. It's me and I've been gaslighting you this whole episode.

I can't believe she referenced like her being a fraudulent criminal queen guilty queen yes um and like made a joke of it like I'm not taking this Jen Shah case lightly similar with Erica Jane like think of the victims Jen Shah's what Jen Shah is being accused of is so horrendous not only is she defrauding people you know taking convincing them to take car loans out when they don't even have a car but she's also then selling their information to other fraudulent fraudsters know that they are like susceptible marks yeah not dumb sorry i take that back that was rude they're trustworthy and vulnerable and gullible i'm sorry i do not mean dumb that was actually really mean i take it back and i'm not letting her get away with this.

No, me neither. And neither is the FBI. No, and neither is Meredith Marks. I'm obsessed with Meredith Marks. I'm so like having her on the show. I just want to let you know, when we were talking about not liking having guests, we were not talking about Meredith Marks. No, but we're not talking about anyone in particular.

It's just like, you know, the lead up to like, are we going to do a good job? It's just like nervousness. Stage fright. Yeah. Stage fright. Next up, Mary Cosby. If you come for me, I will send Jesus after you. Stunning.

I guess they are coming for her this season. They're bringing up the cult rumors. You know what? There is a lot of weirdness that goes on in Mary's world. And I think it's time we address it. I mean, it's only season two, but it's time we address it. Okay. Just like get some clarity.

Like there are rumors that you're leading a cult. Do you? It's a fair question. Yeah. Meredith Marks. I may be known for my ice, but I always bring the heat. Perfect. Really?

Perfect. Because she's icy. Like that's her thing. Yeah. But she will bring the heat. She's going to hold Jen's feet to the fire. I guess. I'm not crazy.

I feel like Meredith is. And it's like because it's Salt Lake City. It's like I like. Yeah. I think I like the use of the elements. Is Meredith Jewish? Yes. Yeah.

Such an interesting, like, group of women they got, like, culturally. Yeah. It really is a great show. I'm sorry, I'm not obsessed with Meredith's. I think it's, like, on point, you know? It's not, like, the best, most creative, but it, like, sends a strong message. Yes. I like the use of the elements in Salt Lake City.

I thought she was going to be like, I may not be engaging. Yeah, yeah. Something like that. Whitney Rose. In a town of beauties and beasts, there's only one wild rose. Like I appreciate the Beauty and the Beast reference, but I don't see how it's applicable. Because her last name is Rose.

Rose, yeah. But what does that have to do with the show? Her, she's the Rose. No. Rose, yeah. But what does that have to do with the show? Her, she's the Rose. No, but like, what does Beauty and the Beast have to do with the show? And who's she calling a beast? Beauty and the Beast, Rose.

Who are you calling beast? By the way, did you see that there's a new soap opera on Peacock that Eileen Davidson is in and Lisa Rinna got a role? And like, they're two, you know,

women fighting in a cafe and they reenact the beast scene. Like like she slams the glass she says who are you calling beast it's actually so creative and funny it's on danny pellegrino's instagram that's where i saw it i didn't see it um whitney rose i mean i understand where she's going with it she seems random but it's not my favorite yeah heather Heather Gay. Obsessed. I was raised a Mormon, but now I'm raising a glass of champagne. Okay. Like a transitional period in her life. It's okay. It's not like slicing me. Like it's not like, ah. Yeah. And I mean, raise and raise, but they're two different like tenses of using raise. No, I hate that. No,

but I like raise and raise. No. But I just, I was raised a Mormon and now I'm raising. It's not working for me. Okay. And you know what? Hers last year wasn't good either. Like my pioneer ancestors, I'm Blazing a Trowel or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

But we didn't, we weren't expecting much from a season one. Yeah. But like she ended up being like a queen of queens. And I just thought like she deserved a more royal tagline this one in particular is not working for me yeah next we have a new housewife jenny there's a new housewife did anyone leave no no i'm just curious like yeah no but she in the trailer she seems great and then her tagline is i have plenty of everything including opinions i mean those that statement in itself is exactly what

I'm looking for in a housewife. I want someone who has a lot of things and a lot of opinions. That's actually so true. So I'm good with that. The sun is raining

on you right now like gorgeous. Do you see? Chessie could never. Chessie could never. She's a cloud of darkness. That last one Lisa Barlow.

Ugh. I feel like Lisa Barlow might be our girl this season. Well, let's see, because she was so thirsty last year at the end of the reunion to be friends with Jen Shah. Her and Jen had buried a body somewhere, and they couldn't turn on each other. It was so weird, because they hadn't ever even spoken. And now, I'm assuming she's going to be taking a few steps back from the friendship.

So we'll see. She said, you don't have to like me. I love myself enough for the both of us. That's atrocious. And that's good. Because nobody likes Lisa after the end of winter heather, storm weather, bad weather. What was that? I don't know.

But here's what I'll say. I didn't agree with anything Lisa Barolo said or did last season at all but I do respect that she doubled down and made no apologies in her longness who she was yes like didn't just like I would have expected from her to just be like thirsty and want to be a fan favorite and just like try and like backpedal on everything she did at the reunion but I have to respect someone who just like stands up for what they did and said i guess that's fair like still don't like her but you're right but that's just like you know that's silver lining what lisa does keeps he gets in the whole day through this is a great episode i'm having so much fun okay i'm about to ruin it because our fifth and final story is some loser-y tech news.

Okay, but hold on. Oh yeah, hold on. What is it? It's the final story! Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do You know what that sounds like? Oh my God, I have PTSD. Tell me what this sounds like. The school bell?

Yeah. You know, the bell was the best. Like, it was freedom, you know? The bell, or it was prison. Or it was the end of lunch. It was either the key that unlocked your cell or locked your cell right up. So it's the fifth and final story, that's true. But what you failed to mention and you owe everyone

an apology is that it's the fifth and final story brought to you by Noom. Interesting. I guess I will apologize for that because I do not ever want to take away from you guys the opportunity to hear about Noom. So let them know, Claude. Are you sure you're ready? I'm ready if you are. Noom has built their entire platform on two things, research and wanting to help people lead healthier lives through behavioral change. So if you're looking to make a change in your life for whatever particular reason,

whether you want to lose pounds, you just want to feel better, you want to fit into certain clothes, you're, I don't know, whatever your reasons are, you're entitled to them. You don't need to explain them to us. And you don't have to share them to me. Noom is something you guys should definitely check out

because it's a psychology-based approach. Instead of setting a strict set of rules, Noom empowers you with the knowledge to build smarter, more sustainable habits and behaviors. Using a cognitive behavioral approach, you'll focus on the why instead of the what to change your relationship with eating. Everyone's journey is different,

so Noom will customize a program for you based on your personal goals. No food is considered off limits with Noom. You can keep eating foods you love while learning to maintain a healthier balance. An off day is totally okay and it won't set you off course. Noom will gently help you back on track. Noom only asks for 10 minutes of your day to teach you about your eating habits and check in on your progress.

More than 80% of users can complete the program and more than 60% of users lose 5% or more of body weight. If you want to sign up for your trial and get psychology-based support and motivation to reach your goals, go to Noom.com slash toast. That's N-O-O-M.com slash toast. Noom, N-O-O-M.com slash toast. I know, Jackie, you've had a lot of success with Noom. I have. I love Noom. It's just the best way to keep track of everything that you're doing. And, you know, if you log enough information, you can see where you're going wrong, where you're going right, what you should increase, what you should work on, decrease, cut out. I think it's

the best way to hold yourself accountable. But also I just like visually seeing, you know, what I'm doing in a day, what I'm doing in a week, what I did last month that I felt really good last month. Maybe I should, you know, sort of try and replicate it. They have so many great resources for people who are starting out on their weight loss or health or wellness journey that I recommend it to everyone I know who's like wanting to start, a wedding regime or regimen, sorry. I a wedding or anything you know everyone has their goals again you don't need to explain yourself to us but noom i would recommend dot com slash toast and i do recommend to everyone clearly our fifth and final story losery tech news i'm sorry

to even bring this into our fabulous show what is it facebook and it's okay we can make it great we can make anything great and funny can. We're so funny. Facebook and Ray Ban have paired up for a pair of smart glasses. Starting on Thursday, the first pair of smart glasses made by Facebook and Ray Ban are going on sale for $2.99. When are we going to learn? Like nobody wants computer glasses. Like Snapchat tried and then Google tried and like they were cool.

Nobody fucking cared. The only person who bought the Snapchat goggles was your husband. Yeah. And you know what? We did it. We tried it and it was useless. No, but he used to only person who bought the Snapchat goggles was your husband. Yeah. And you know what? We did it. We tried it and it was useless. No, but he used to like come around to the parties with his glasses on and like film us.

Like it was cool for a second. No, but it's like even he didn't like it because where are those glasses? Nobody knows. Literally. They're called Ray-Ban Stories and you'll be able to find them pretty much anywhere. Ray-Bans are sold including LensCrafters

and Sunglass Hut stores. The frames feature two front facing cameras for capturing videos and photos. They sync with a companion camera roll app called Facebook View, where clips can be edited and shared to other apps. There's a physical button on the glasses for recording, or you can say,

hey, Facebook, take a video, to control them hands-free. And most importantly, they do look like regular Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. Heinous. I'm sorry. They look like the free ones that you get at Bat Mitzvahs. Yeah, and then they have like this little They look like the free ones that you get at bat mitzvahs. Yeah.

And then they have like the colored with the colored handles, you know, that was like Katy Perry, like hot and cold. Like I'm personally so good. I actually really don't like that style of sunglasses. Me too. On my fudge.

Me too. Or everybody's fudge is different. No, I'm not into the style. Like at a glance. Some people are way fairer people. Like it's very much a vibe. Not for this big fudge.

No, definitely not for this big fudge no definitely not for this enormous fudge um so when will we learn when will we learn I mean if I see anyone who I know around me like and you know I give a pass to snapchat lenses because like we thought that was a good idea at the time like how fun and everyone was excited about it everyone was excited they were cute style like rounded and people bought them I just don't think they really integrated well into people's lives like nobody had a use for it so like I don't but I don't blame like anyone including my husband like I definitely don't like hold it over his head that

he like fell for that um because it seemed like a good idea but now we've learned we know we're good and also the tech on these cameras is nothing near the smartphone. Right. So if I see someone in my life coming at me recording. Out of control. I'm going to snatch those glasses right off their face. Do you ever think, like, I wish I invented that? All the time.

Like, I really wish I invented the GoPro. Like, for a million reasons. One, I think it's literally the best piece of technology. It does it all. Literally, the reality television industry is built off the back of GoPros. Everyone uses GoPros now. I think people capture such cool content, like surfing and shit. And I just feel like it makes the world a better place.

I can't explain it. And also, the guy is so rich. That's really why I wish I invented it. Yeah. What about you? I mean, I don't know. I'll take anything, really. the guy's so rich that's really why i wish i invented it yeah what about you i mean i don't know i'll take anything really that's like successful um good call you know what i mean like gopro but the thing about gopro it's like he didn't invent like a new like he didn't invent

cameras and he didn't he just did it really well no and like he think they, what did they sell for like $8 billion or something? Like that should have been me. That's crazy. I could have made a mini camera. Yeah. That's like legacy box. You know, it's just like a great idea that like you wish that you had started. I always think that I should have invented legacy box because like we, and this is not

an ad, but like we used to be those people like buying VHS converters to try and watch our old home cassettes. Yeah. My God, we're getting so old. Like I was thinking about that the other day. And how does that make you feel? Not great. I'm not going to lie,

but I'm also looking forward to putting all this youth behind me. I mean, that sounds like really dark, but I'm just looking forward to like relaxing, you know? Yeah. Even though, I don't know,

do you like relax as you get older? I feel like life gets harder. I don't know. Well, you definitely comes with its fair share of challenges, but I do like, I feel like, you know yeah even though I don't know do you like relax as you get older I feel like life gets harder I don't know well you definitely comes with its fair share of challenges but I do like I feel like you know before you take out the pregnancy part like I feel like I'm more relaxed than you yeah I really want to be like in this place in my life where like you know I'm like I just turned like 45 like my kids are finally out of the house and like I'm

taking care of me again like in a book or something you know like I want to be that girl like so I just do something crazy like I buy a beach house like I don't know like yeah I just or like eat pray love travel whatever I just hope I I really hope I can afford a beach house like yeah the only thing is it's like if so if you were to be 40 your kids are gonna leave the house stop I know what you're gonna say and I should need it to have kids like five years ago if I wanted that plan to work shut the fuck up okay I do you think I don't know that you think I can't do math I just okay fine tell me how you know what i need to have this conversation with myself how old will i be when my kids leave okay here's probably like 45 when your kids leave and that's

my youngest kid your youngest kid you have to have when you're 27 because then they're 18 my youngest kid so you're too late for that maybe you it could be 50. And then your youngest kid, you need to have a 32. Yeah, but like that would mean I need to start now. It takes a long time. You have to wait a year to have a kid, which, by the way, is such bullshit. Like I should just be able to order the child online and like he should just show up or she like it's bullshit. Yeah, but I mean, the nine months, I think we were talking about this on the Patreon,

like when people are like, how do you know that you're ready to have a kid? Like I feel like even if, say you're not your most ready when you like find out that you're pregnant. Like you have nine months to get ready. To get it together. It's a really long time of just sitting and thinking about child. Right. And you can't like, you know, drink to. To forget.

To forget. Yeah. No, like you're doing it. Yeah. I guess you could eat to forget. So you could be 50 when. But you want to know something nice for you. 50. Yeah. I'll always could eat to forget. So you could be 50 when, but you want to know something nice for you. 50.

Yeah. I'll always be older than you. That's so true. Oh my God. I feel better. That does make me feel better. No, I just feel like for as long. Like you're 50?

I'm 52. That's so true. For as long as I can remember, like I've always been the youngest person in the room. And that's because like, I really do gravitate towards older people. Like, I'm always hanging out with, like, you and Olivia and your guys' friends. And, like, I don't know, just everyone I'm friends with, like, is always older than me. And you also started your career very young. Yeah.

But now it's just like, oh, you're just a girl with a career. You're not, like, crazy young for your career. Like, you're just a girl. And, like, the youngsters are coming up, like, behind us. And doing better. No, and they're, like, super young. Yeah. Super young and super young and

super successful like I just I become so aware of my age recently and I know like it sounds moronic because yes I understand I'm 27 but like things are just changing like life is so fucking short but it's also hella long and like sometimes it like things happen so quickly and sometimes happen so slowly and like I just feel like I became 27 and I didn't really do anything. I just blinked and I was 27. And I was 24, literally. And I loved being 24. I loved telling everyone I'm 24.

And what were you doing at 24? What year was that? Same shit as I'm doing now. I was uglier and fatter. Right. So look at that. At least something changed. I don't have that mole on my face anymore.

Yeah. That's probably like... I saw a commercial yesterday for the New York Bariatric Center. Like, and it was all these people being like, oh, my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

And like, I was like, yeah, I feel that. That's how I literally feel about my mole. The fact that I got married with my mole

is actually one of my biggest regrets. I need to start a list because I said my biggest regret was not getting into the police car. That's nothing. And then what was the other one that we were referencing last episode? Like whatever adding to the list moley wedding that's one of my biggest regrets i can't even look at my time off but like doesn't that just show you how much ben loved you

like no it's now it's clear that i married someone dumb and blind because he married me with that mole on my face and I'll honestly never I honestly like sometimes when he's sleeping I look over and I'm like what kind of monster are you I'm being dead serious dead fucking serious can I just complain really quickly about this water bottle? Sure. Like, the straw is angled in a way, so, like, if I'm trying to drink the last remnants, I can't. You can't get remnants.

Moronic. Okay. I'll send a complaint to the manufacturer. And, like, it's a little cheap. Like, this could come off at any minute. I know. That's why it took so quickly to come, I guess. But I don't want to be complaining, it's actually like one of the best gifts

I've ever gotten. But you know what? If you like love it so much and use it all the time, maybe I'll take the time to like go to like a... An Etsy store? Oh no.

I was going to say like to find you a bottle where it's not a sticker. It's like a grade. No, no. Like I love this one. Like I don't want... I'm just like

I have to go get ready for my date. You do have to go get ready for your date with Ben the Monster. With Ben the Monster. So that is our show and I just feel like

it was amazing. I feel so good going into the weekend leaving you guys with this. And I'm going to like promote this one extra hard because I just feel like if you've been trying

to get your friend to become a toaster like send her this episode. It was so good. And there's a lot of explanation justice for Rosie. Like I don't feel like we're talking about stuff

that you know only we all know. Yeah. Even though those are my favorite episodes too oh of course um so I'm just like feeling really proud and we did it Jo we did it we did it we did it Jack we did it so that's our show and I'm gonna wrap this up if you don't have anything else to say no just um have a great weekend you know take the time to commemorate the 20th anniversary tomorrow and just I don't know what what I don't know what the right words are I do thank you so much for listening to the morning toast the money a morning show where we deliver the best stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube so if you're watching this on YouTube please feel free to

subscribe and give this video a thumbs up we're also available as a podcast anywhere podcast we found so that's Spotify iTunes Stitcher public Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where you'll be listening to podcasts. Find us morning, tell us, leave a five-star review about our beautiful Sunday and tomorrow we are. If you made it to the end of the episode,

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monster. Okay, how you interpret that monster I think there's like a big red one have a great day everyone great weekend actually and we'll see you on Monday bye

bye