The Toast - S4 Ep27: Comma: Tuesday, February 9th, 2021
Episode Date: February 9, 2021Ashley Benson and G-Eazy break up after nearly one year together (Page Six) Heather Rae Young gets 'Yes Sir, Mr. El Moussa' tattooed on her butt (Page Six), Mod Sun tattoos rumored girlfrien...d Avril Lavigne's name on his neck (Page Six) Super Bowl LV ratings are in: They're a disappointment (CNN Business) The $15M 'Schitt's Creek' megamansion is up for sale- and it's magnificent (NY Post) Clare Crawley dyes her hair pink after Dale Moss split (Page Six) The Bachelor Recap The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Morning Toast. Happy Tuesday. We made it past Monday.
Yes, we did. And even though yesterday was a very long day because of the way our weeks got started on the wrong foot,
today feels a little Monday-y, dare I say? Like waking up in my own bed and doing everything for the first time, making the coffee.
But it's Tuesday, so I really feel like that was sort of a great hack to end the weekend on a Monday morning.
You avoid Sunday scaries, first of all, because I had an amazing Sunday.
And then you also make Monday a little less daunting.
That's, no, that is a fair point.
There is a scent of Monday in the air on this particular Tuesday, except for the fact that I was forced to watch two hours of The Bachelor last night.
So I know that it really is Tuesday and of course we are going to recap The Bachelor in our TV recap
segment because I have many many a thought many many thoughts just one big minivan of a thought
one big Loserville yes circus I didn't know they were filming in Loserville this no me either
because I thought Nima Cohen was near Pittsburgh The masseuse said Farmington. Yeah.
Farmingdale, I think.
No, she said Farmington.
Farmingdale's in Long Island.
Yeah, but I thought that Loserville was on the West Coast.
No, I think it's like one of those cities where there's one on the West Coast and there's one on the East Coast to make room for all the losers.
No, I'm so glad that they have that.
Yeah.
So we will get into that, but before, Jackie and I just have to deliver the past five because
there's a decent amount.
No, it's pretty fucking random, but there are some stories where I chose them just to that but before jack and i just have to deliver the past five because there's a decent amount no
there's it's pretty fucking random but there are some stories where i'm i chose them just to get
your opinion on them oh wow i'm flattered yeah i just want to know what you think about certain
things but other than that we've got dude to do here today so you know it's going to be a delicious
and nutritious show hi crunchy angel dora beautiful precious angel Dora. Beautiful, precious Dora. One and only Dora.
Soft skin Dora. Love of my life Dora. Cutest cheeks Dora. Sexy body Dora. Flappy ears Dora.
Oh so floppy Dora. Flip fresh, blow dry Dora. Dirty feet Dora. Cutest paws Dora.
Love of my life, love of my life, love of my life Dora.
Dora.
Okay, I'm so glad we got that out of our system.
It's been a while.
By the way, what's going on with his ears?
Did he get, is he using the Dyson Airwrap?
They look extremely, oh, turn to the side.
You know, don't hurt him. I would literally use a light tap. Yeah, you know Allie, who's our groomer, uses a Dyson Airwrap. They look extremely... Oh, turn to the side. You know, don't hurt me.
I would literally use a light tap.
Yeah, you know Allie, who's our groomer, uses a Dyson blow dryer,
but she hasn't been here in like a few weeks.
No, we're on this hair growing journey.
Much like you, Theo is growing out his ears.
He is, because I see some Cavaliers on Instagram that have super floppy ears.
And it's so cute.
And it's really a cute look for them.
So honestly, I've noticed a difference in this ear.
They're heavy.
It's unlike any ear we've seen before.
Yeah, thank you for noticing.
Because, you know, Theo's been working really hard on, you know,
taking his supplements, making his hair grow.
Yeah, no, it's beautiful.
I heard he's been using Manscaped also.
Yes, and Hum Nutrition.
He just loves all the sponsors here at The Morning Toast.
He does.
He wakes up every morning, he uses his bruch.
Yes, and today he's using his Snow Teeth Whitening.
He's just like such a supporter of us. And that's just such a beautiful thing.
That's such a beautiful thing. Well, we're glad he's here today. Like definitely he matches my outfit, which is like kind of a crazy outfit.
Don't you think?
For you? Yeah.
But like I muted.
And also it's like totally baggy sweats.
You know what? Like we could switch outfits today. Like this is just not really a me outfit. It's like so much color and it's like totally baggy sweats. You know what? Like feeling it. We could switch outfits today.
Like this is just not really a me outfit.
It's like so much color and it's like a little crop sweater and like earrings where I feel
like I could wear that because it's like baggy and.
Yeah.
I've just been like feeling wearing sweats on the show.
Like it's such a bleak time of year right now.
Yes.
And I feel like we're just doing everything in our power to stay above that line.
But it is.
I'm really struggling hard it's hard
so hard it is so cold it gets dark so early there's very you know we still don't have indoor
dining like there's just such so little joy right now I know indoor dining does come back on Sunday
which is also Valentine's Day so COVID is so romantic so thank you Cuomo so romantic um but
I had two things to say one did you make it a story
about David Dobrik no what's he up to okay so you know I became obsessed with David Dobrik in
quarantine like right when he stopped vlogging because his vlogs are like him and his friends
partying and he hasn't vlogged literally he vlogged once during the pandemic when he partnered with
like a GameStop type company to give out toys to kids who were like suffering which was so nice
but other than that he used to do like multiple vlogs a week. No vlogs. Okay. We haven't heard from him.
He's still doing his podcast. Nothing. And he's always on TikTok. Yeah. But that's not what people
like live for. They live for the vlogs. Four minute and 20 second vlogs multiple times a week.
And yesterday he vlogged and it was kind of different because his vlogs are always four
minutes and 20 seconds. And this one was like six minutes, but it was showing off his new house,
always four minutes and 20 seconds and this one was like six minutes but it was showing off his new house which oh my god like what did we do wrong in life like it is the sickest house ever
it's so nice and he like surprised all his friends and he made his own podcast studio he has a very
popular podcast called views he made his own podcast studio in his house and it literally
looks like a tv set it's just like it's so's so branded. It's so cute. It's like goals extreme. Like we having like a toast. Yes. It's so cool. And then he kind of said like he wants to get
back on YouTube. So he's going to start uploading his podcast to YouTube now that they have this
studio. So it kind of made it seem like, did you get the vibe that he like wasn't going to do vlogs
anymore? Oh, Jillian's going to watch. Okay. Nevermind. I thought like you were a bigger fan
than me, but I guess, I'm, like, the biggest fan ever.
I just wanted to know, like, what everyone thought.
Like, was he, like, resigning from the vlogdom?
It sounds like this is just a way to tide people over until he can do his vlogs again,
and then if people like the YouTube podcast,
he'll probably do both.
I don't think that he would stop.
I don't know him, and I didn't watch his video,
but I feel like vlogs,
he must love doing the vlogs as much as you love watching them,
but he can't be vlogging right now, so here something it's also he doesn't monetize his vlogs
at all he uses like a bunch of songs and he talks about like drinking and I think sometimes drugs
like so he's not you know content you know the ad council would be up in arms but um so I don't
think he ever really made money from the vlogs it was like the vlogs fueled all these other things
for him so maybe he's just like overworking on a project that like doesn't give you any money.
I don't know.
It sounds like he's found a fix like that.
I think the vlogs will come back.
Don't worry.
I'm just curious if anyone else thought that he was like done with that.
Like he said at the end, he's like, I'm going to be back, you know, with my podcast on YouTube.
I got the vibe that he was like done vlogging.
But someone let me know if maybe I just misinterpreted it.
Okay.
Well, we love a podcast on YouTube, don't we?
Yeah, such an original idea.
So special.
And the other thing I wanted to tell you about was
I've been on this journey for the last day,
renewing and rejuvenating my bed.
And I always say I'm going to do it and I never do.
And what I end up doing is buying the same sheets,
just like in a new color.
And it's like, no, I needed a whole new journey so I got brand new pillows a brand new um down comforter and I got a
brand new sheet set duvet cover and it's life-changing I also finally bought a barefoot
dreams blanket even though they're just like so expensive it's like so stupid
but still I just did it I need a blanket like that I have one coming to me um and I'm really
excited it's Barefoot Dreams no uh but it looks similar okay well Barefoot Freems Barefoot Freems
um I just I always go on the website and I almost get it but it's just like 150 for a blanket when
like they sell amazing ones at Target like it's just so stupid and it's like can you put in the
washing machine otherwise it's gonna smell in a few weeks that's so true
you know blankets get really smelly but Lauren Elizabeth convinced me she's like yeah I have
like four I'm like oh my god I don't even have one so I got one and I'm really excited about it
but I slept last night the best I've slept and if I didn't have to wake up to an alarm like
it was the deepest sleep ever and I don't know if maybe I was just really tired, but I have a feeling it had something to do with the sheets
because I also took a nap at five o'clock.
I couldn't keep my eyes open.
So not only has this bed given me a nap,
which I'm so appreciative of,
it also gave me an amazing sleep.
And I'm just not sure like who to thank.
I think I need to thank Allied Home and Bedding.
Fabulous duvet cover.
I think you also need to thank
just the way our day went yesterday
because I woke up so early to get back in time and I was struggling to keep my eyes open during
The Bachelor after The Bachelor I read a little and then I went to sleep about like 10 45 I slept
incredibly all week last week I was going to bed at midnight it was taking me over an hour to fall
asleep and I was waking up like dead same no same last night I slept so amazingly because I
like reset my sleep schedule and I set my alarm for 8 45 but I was like a little up before it
Zach's alarm was going off at 7 30 so like I didn't struggle to wake up and I think I'm sure
your new bedding was wonderful but also because we woke up so early yesterday we were just primed
for a great night's sleep
those nights where you just like cannot fall asleep like seriously someone just shoot me
like it's so unenjoyable I would literally rather be dead yeah it's pretty not to be dramatic
it's pretty annoying but I'm trying now to well first of all I set up on my phone like in my
alarms I set up daily alarm to wake up the same time every day. I always turn on a new alarm every single day.
Oh, no, you have to go to the health app.
Yes, and now I just synced it with my health app where I told them, like,
how many hours of sleep I want to get a night, when you should wind down my phone.
And when you should put on Do Not Disturb.
My phone at 1125 goes on Do Not Disturb.
Yes.
And then the alarm, people, Ben taught me this, Ben, people don't know it.
Don't use the alarm feature.
Use the sleep feature in the health app.
The chimes that they wake you up with are so much more civilized than the it's so it's like
it's so peaceful and beautiful yeah that's what I finally set up last night and so I feel like
I'm on a new sleep journey day one was a success I'm so happy for you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I think
I think without further ado considering we're so rested and feeling fabulous. I really am. No like
I have I feel pretty good. No. As far as mornings go. You know as good as it's gonna get. Like let's
be real. Without further ado though it is time for the past five stories that you need to know
before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast and before we start i actually have a quick
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even be heartbroken if you didn't tell all the folks over at the morning toast about snow because
i told you theo's been obsessed with wiping his teeth oh my god no i'm kidding this is for humans
you guys and it is for humans with sensitive teeth. So actually, Jackie and I both struggle
from sensitive teeth.
Jackie so much so she has like a special toothpaste.
And you know, if you have sensitive teeth,
like teeth whitening is not really a great option.
They don't always go hand in hand.
Oh my God.
Until snow.
And you know, when you like get that sensitive
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a sociopathic thing to do um really then you might have sensitive teeth so if you want to try snow try
try snow.com is the website and you can use the code toast for 15 off your first order
again that's t-r-y-s-n-o-w.com toast is the code for 15 off your first order if you have sensitive
teeth like us you need to try try snow.com right now and use our code TOAST for 15% off. It's pretty much everything of the sort and that's all you need to know.
That's that on that.
Okay, first story.
Everyone, dismantle your ships.
Ashley Benson and G-Eazy have broken up after nearly one year together.
My ship, like, was never intact.
I did not even lift a finger for the ship.
Love and respect to Ashley Benson.
G-Eazy, from what I've heard about him, is a piece of shit.
Like, monster.
Don't fuck with him at all.
You've heard...
That's what you've heard?
Well, I listened to Halsey's song.
Oh, that's true.
And she's so...
You're not half the man you think that you are.
That one.
Yeah.
You can't fill the hole inside of you
with money, drugs, and cars.
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you and now she's
having a baby you can't love unless there's something in it for you oh i feel so sad i feel
so sad i tried to help you but it made you mad so yeah so yeah warning she had no warning about who
you are like that's all I need to know about
G-Eazy I know he's toxic true it's like I listen to that song all the time especially when I work
out like it's such a great workout it's powerful and I had no idea that I was the man that like
no that's how people about she really exposed him like as like the piece of shit that he
um was in that song and also in her SNL performance. And then she found out he cheated on him. It's a really, that was a really dark relationship.
And then, do you remember the night that Demi Lovato relapsed
and there were those paparazzi pictures of her and G-Eazy?
Like, he just gives me such a bad vibe.
Like, he's not, you know, looking out for his girlfriend's best interests ever.
So I think Ashley Benson's a queen.
I still am hoping her and Cara Delevingne are going to get back together.
G-Eazy was not it for me for her.
Great.
Okay.
Well I feel good about this news then.
And also it must be kind of a weird feeling.
But also kind of nice for Ashley Benson.
Like now she has all of these breakup songs she can listen to.
That are literally about the man that she's broken up from.
Like I would go.
Like most people listen to You Should Be Sad.
And they like envision their ex,
but it's like, no, this was written for this man.
And someone else put all the words to a song
and I can just sing along to it.
I hope that Halsey and Ashley Benson
find their way to each other
and can, you know, heal together.
That's what I'm hoping.
Yeah.
But Halsey's now,
and also weirdly in David Dobrik's blog,
Halsey was at the very end of it
because I guess she's the next guest on the podcast.
She was like sitting in his studio with her pregnant belly and she actually looked
really really cute um I forgot where my thought was going but all I was gonna say was that I like
Halsey nice well nice nice I mean what's her like yeah no I didn't have like opinions on this story
really before uh oh yeah no I love Halsey but I'm just talking about Ashley and Jeezy while I wrap
it up because we have some happy couple news then they're so happy these couples some HCN these
couples are so happy these couples are so happy happy couples these couples are so happy that
they're getting tattoos for one another oh the mooses the mooses the elmosas I saw this and I
have many okay there's two couples who are getting tattoos. But we'll start with Heather Rae Young and Tarek El Moussa.
She got a tattoo on her butt cheek that says, quote,
Yes, sir, Mr. El Moussa.
And she posted it on Instagram saying,
Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. El Moussa.
I love you, handsome.
Best friends forever.
I think we should unpack this.
Okay.
Let's start at the top, you know, just for the first layer.
What are your thoughts on couples who get tattoos of one another? I think we should unpack this okay let's start at the top you know just for the first layer like
the thought what are your thoughts on couples who get you know tattoos of one another I mean
I'm not crazy about it I think that when you're together for a long enough time I think it's a
really sweet thing to do but in general I just always we're always reading about couple removes
tattoo after they've broken up so I think it's you know it's a gamble
yeah so is love you know no I know but like in the beginning I just feel like it really doesn't
bode well like remember when Ariana got a tattoo of Pete on her foot or something yeah and he got
one he got her ear bunny ears yeah yeah yeah so I just feel like it I agree at some point in a
relationship like you've been together for so long like this is real okay get a tattoo but like
they're not married yet they've really only been together for like two years it's a
celebrity relationship like it's just a at this stage I think getting a tattoo is like a weird
thing to do yeah I but I also think that like there have never been two people better suited
for each other I couldn't agree more than Heather Ray Young and Tarek El Moussa I could not agree
more except even though Heather's not my favorite on the show I do worry
because there was like that whole scandal with Tarek like taking the guns from the house and
like running into the mountains and there was like a helicopter chasing him like it was crazy
and that's when him and Christina got divorced. Yeah. So I don't know um where that version of
Tarek exists but I'm I'm hoping we don't see him again for Heather's sake. Yeah. But now the second
layer I want to unpack is like the tattoo itself.
It's like this subservient, like kind of 50 shades, like.
For sure.
It says, yes, sir, comma.
You love a comma.
If you got a tattoo.
I do love, I would be, my tattoo would just be a comma.
And that's like symbolic how I never have enough to say, you know.
There's always more.
There's always more to the story.
Yes.
That's kind of sickening. Where should I get it? Like say, you know? There's always more. There's always more to the story. Yes. That's kind of sickening.
Where should I get it?
Like above my belly button?
Well, yeah.
Or like between my titties.
Like one big ass comma.
Titty, comma, titty.
I like that.
Yes.
If anybody's looking for new tattoo ideas, might we suggest a comma?
Yeah, no.
It's like beautiful.
It is beautiful.
And Heather thinks so, too. Oh, right. So let's talk about the contents yes sir comma mr el musa so to me like this just
adds another level of like loseriness and things i would never do because that just is like a really
weird and i'm sure maybe it's an inside joke but to us it's like you're subservient to tarik
yeah i keep i'm reading it in a weird way, but it's like, yes, sir,
Mr.
El Moussa.
Yeah.
But now you sound like a butler.
Will there be anything else,
Mr.
El Moussa?
Should I get that on the energy?
Oh my God.
That's so funny.
No,
but it also was like a weird phrase.
Yes,
sir,
Mr.
El Moussa.
Is that it?
Yeah.
And maybe it's an inside joke between the two of them,
in which case maybe explain it when you post it on Instagram to like your millions of followers yeah because now we're just thinking you're the like the hired help and you're taking your job like
really seriously every time he asks for something yes sir mr el moussa um they're just like such a
thirsty couple and this is just like something i didn't see coming from them but like i'm not in
the least surprised not in the least christine really said it best when she was like they call the paparazzi on themselves and
she's right like they are the thirstiest and you know what if you marry someone who has the same
level of thirst as you I think that actually makes her an extremely healthy relationship that's what
I'm saying like about the two of them like obviously most people like this is not for most
people or any of it but it's for both of. And I think that makes them a good match.
Yeah.
And you know, like whenever I think of Tarek,
I always think of Christine, obviously his ex-wife
who like got married like a second after they got divorced.
And then like a second later got divorced again
from this guy, Ant Anstead.
And I just like wonder.
It's Ant.
Is it?
It's Ant Anstead.
Is it Auntie Sneet, she has Anstead?
Yes, it's Auntie Anstead. They're just Sneetches Onstead? Yes, it's Auntie Onstead.
They're just like the weirdest family.
Like they're just messy as hell.
But I do think like him and Heather have like a little bit of a sense of stability, which
is good.
Yeah, which is good.
And I hope that Selling Sunset comes back soon and that I think he was like maybe going
to film a little bit.
Oh, I also saw a tweet.
I know a lot of people were wondering.
Davina's $75 million listing is still for sale.
So it has not sold. Still for sale. Wait, was it $100 million? No, I think it was below $100 wondering Davina's 75 million dollar listing is still for sale so it has not sold still for sale it was 100 million no I think was below 100 because it's 75 now 80 and
they wanted to put it up for like right it's 75 now okay you would think it would sell because
you know it's a press from the show it's a buyer's market right now right right I wish I had a home
to sell like yeah okay our other couple happy couple news that's getting tattoos
I don't even know if you knew these two were dating Mad Son who you know because of course
he's dating Avril Lavigne he yes he's dating I only know who Mad Son is because I follow Tana
Mojo yes and Mad Son Tana Mojo and Bella Thorne where they was like Bella dated Mad Son and Tana
did and I don't know Tana dated Bella and then Tana dated Madsen and if you ever watched House of DBF Madsen also dated Barbie Beth first. Oh someone from
House of DBF? Yeah she won. That's weird. No no she's like everything of the sort. Okay. Yeah yeah
but he and rumored girlfriend Avril Lavigne um he got his name her name tattooed on his neck.
People just need to stop doing this like you know what's the definition of insanity when you do the
same thing over and over it's like you see all these people all these celebrities on my tiktok
for you page literally i somehow ended up on like tattoo removal tiktok where they show time lapse
videos of people get and it's so painful yeah victoria fuller just went on instagram i was
watching hers and i'm like curious what the story is behind that tattoo but it's like when will we
learn i know and of course i would say one in probably 10 people who get tattoos of their
boyfriends or girlfriends end up forever with the person. I would say probably the odds are more
than that. We're just always talking about celebrities and these celebrity relationships
are fickle and fleeting. Yeah Jax when we're gonna got Stassi's signature like yes there's
so many examples we need to learn from those who came before us. We do but um TMZ caught
uh Avril Lavigne in West Hollywood on Thursday and Maudson was sporting
a new Avril tattoo on the back of his neck where the A in Avril is the anarchist symbol the pair
have been working together in the studio recently releasing Flames a song a song that I listened to
my paragraphs got mixed I thought it said a song about the back of his neck I listened to that
song Flames because you know Ben like loves Avril Lavigne
and it was like really not good
and I expected more
from like this punk duo.
Yeah I feel like it would be good.
And I feel like they actually
would make like an interesting couple
based on their punk roots
but the song was just not it.
Damn.
Well also just a reminder
Avril Lavigne was married
to Sum 41 singer Derek Wibley in 2006.
She dated Brody
Jenner from 2012 from 2010 to 2012 and then she married Nickelback single singer why can't I read
today I don't know Chad Kroger in 2013 which ended in divorce and I just have to say I think she has
really great taste in men like I love Nickelback I love Nickelback justice for Nickelback yeah and you know what
I think that was a great marriage like it had great potential it was like clearly not but well
whatever even in as a moment in time it was this like punk rock royalty agreed and I also really
like Sum 41 and of course we love Birdie Jenner so I just feel like she has good taste and and
Madsen is like the bachelor of the punk rock world.
No, and also of just LA.
Like he's always really dating such eligible women.
And I feel like he must like be, you know.
Great in bed.
Or like a good boyfriend.
Like, you know.
I just like had forgotten.
And maybe if you hadn't reminded me,
I never would have remembered that Avril Lavigne
was married to the lead singer of Nickelback.
And I just like, I wish we could go back to times like that.
Like so simple, you know, where people who are meant to be together just were together.
She also most recently dated billionaire Philip Serafim for one year.
What does he do?
Just billionaire.
Oh, jealous.
I wish I could get that job.
No, totally.
So I think things are...
She's doing just fine.
She's fine.
She actually seems fine.
And I just had one more thing to say about the two of them, but I forget.
Okay.
Must have been important.
Maybe it was your RDH.
You know, memory loss is a symptom.
A symptom, yeah.
So allow me.
Please.
Maybe this will make you feel better.
Wingardium Leviosa.
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again oh please to live by okay next up a little ratings news super bowl lv ratings are in and
they're a disappointment yep super bowl ratings brought in average about 96.4 million viewers
across tv and streaming according to CBS.
That number is down from last year's Super Bowl which averaged roughly 102 million viewers. Oh
that is down. That is down and you would think I mean it's it's weird you would think they'd be up
because everyone's home with nothing to do let's all watch the Super Bowl there's no distractions
but on the other hand it's just been like a weird year for football and it kind of felt like a
little bit like a fake Super Bowl.
There was something like weird about it. Yeah so and maybe it was the portrait mode I don't know
that might have turned off some viewers. For sure. I mean it turned me off completely.
I think it's an interesting factoid. Yeah no I do find it shocking right like given the fact that
we're in a pandemic like there's literally nothing to do it's not like people are so busy doing other
things. And I also feel like it was an interesting super bowl like obviously tom brady versus patrick mahomes it was like a narrative
there also it's like the first time a team has played in their hometown during the super bowl
like it was an interesting premise above average interesting premise for a super bowl so i actually
really do find this shocking yeah but cnn business also says it's not a total shock that the ratings
declined from last year because the game was never really competitive like are they saying that it wasn't oh like it was a bad game well
yeah the game itself but also we were like hyping it up like these two teams are so equal but maybe
like the Chiefs never stood a chance but the biggest odds had Chiefs winning they did yeah
huh yeah I know I was really shocked when I opened my sportsbook app when I was being a
degenerate gambler in Pennsylvania interesting yeah They were plus three or something or minus three. I don't know.
But I mean, but what's really crazy is like 96 million people. That's still so many people. Like
The Bachelor is like two million people. No, I know The Bachelor is like five million and The
Housewives are like two million. Yeah. No, I always find ratings so interesting. And I remember
sitting here when we once did, I think maybe it was even last Super Bowl,
we did, like we were comparing ratings from other things.
And like the Royal Wedding of Kate and William was like the most watched ever.
And that was like two billion.
No.
Yeah, because it was shown everywhere.
That's crazy. Not just America or the UK.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
So it's nice that people still like watch TV because like cable is a dying thing.
So like 100 million people, like that's a lot.
Yeah. But I wonder how many people like watch the Gram So like 100 million people like that's a lot. Yeah.
But I wonder how many people like watch the Grammys.
I feel like maybe like 8 million.
Maybe.
It's so tough.
We'll find out soon.
Are the Grammys happening?
They pushed them back to March.
Oh, OK.
Cool.
Or was that the Oscars?
I think it was the Grammys.
I can't keep up with all these TV shows.
I think it was the Grammys.
OK, next story.
A little real estate exciting news.
Wait.
A little reen? Reen. A little real estate exciting news wait a little reen reen a little real estate exciting news reen yes holy shit I'm so excited 15 million dollar Schitt's
Creek mega mansion is up for sale and it is magnificent you know I saw this story and I
was confused because in the pilot of Schitt's Creek they show the house from the outside and
it's Lisa Vanderpump's house do you know that her her old house like when she first got on house
wise oh my god I love that house.
But then the inside is obviously like a set.
And this is the, I mean, it's a different house.
And this is the one for sale.
Because when I saw it, I'm like, Lisa Vanderpump already sold her house.
Got it.
Well, it's known as the LaBelle Mansion.
The home holds 12 bedrooms and 16 bathrooms, spanning a massive 24,000 square feet.
It hit the market on January 27th.
The photos are sickening.
For how much?
How much?
$15 million.
And it's in Toronto.
It's in Toronto's upscale
St. Andrew's-Windfields neighborhood.
Oh, gotta get there.
I don't know why.
I thought it would be more.
Yeah.
If the house was in LA,
it would be like $30.
It's also on.55 acre property.
Less than an acre.
That does seem small.
Maybe the house, maybe that's why they didn't use the- No, that can't be right. That looks like, the house is on an acre for less than that's small that does seem small maybe the house maybe that's why
they know that can't be right that's looks like the house is on an acre for sure that's beautiful
stunning sickening god but speaking of Toronto I did a like a virtual book thing last night with
the JCC Toronto it's fabulous fabulous what happened I just was talking spilling tea looking
my hair of my I cannot get my hair under control like you know um but it's fabulous and I just want
to say thanks to everyone who joined.
That sounds so fun.
Where was my invite?
It was like an author thing.
No, could I be in the audience?
Oh, would you have wanted to?
I don't know.
I could come, see.
Okay.
I didn't want to bother you.
It's been a while since we talked about the book, so I feel like I'm having, like, withdrawal.
So frustrating having withdrawal.
But I think you're right.
I think we should talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
How are things going?
Like, it's been a few days
since your New York Times bestseller.
How has your life changed?
It just, I have this, like, intellectual superiority
over every person I come by,
which is nice because I've always felt dumber
than other people.
So it's just been, like, good for my self-confidence,
good for my Instagram bio.
Your confidence was really suffering.
Yeah, no, I've always kind of been, like,
kind of introverted and shy. And I feel like this was kind of the thing I needed to get out of my shell. So it
feels really good to just be outspoken and be proud of myself. And I don't know people are just
like still loving the book. Like I thought like by now like everyone would be like burning them
and they're done with them. But you can't burn the Bible so. Oh that's really awesome. Speaking
of your book we're actually recording a Patreon episode that's going to drop this week for patreon but it is all of questions from patrons and people
who read the book about the book we did obviously the redheads book club episode where claudia sat
down and answered questions but we still had so many more questions and also a lot of questions
that were very either specific or detailed or like is this you said this happened like tell
us more about that so
we're gonna get into that with you and I'm actually really excited to go back into the book world
because the book was like such a big part of our last few months and and now where is she inside
the author's studio she's literally right here and she's available at girlwithanojob.com book
thank you it's hard to remember but if you just remember like B and then O-O-K. And it helps if you say it phonetically.
Book.
It does help.
Okay, our fifth and final story is one I wanted to get your opinion on as well.
Claire Crawley dyes her hair pink after Dale Moss split.
Okay, you've said that crazy.
Claire Crawley dyes her hair pink.
Like, that would be major news.
Stop, I didn't say that. You did. Okay, she dyed her hair pink. She dyed her hair pink. that would be major news stop i didn't say that you did okay she dyed her
hair dyed her hair pink have you not seen no i mean like could she be more cliche like it's so
i i stopped feeling bad for her she said i've been wanting to have some fun and temporarily
in parentheses change up my hair for some time now with a fun color so I did it rather than reaching for permanent dye she transformed
her blonde locks using a color that is um temporary yeah cool um she's I actually feel like
what's the only thing worse than like I mean dying her hair pink can be really fun I mean
to do it during a breakup that is so cliche and I feel like I don't know if that's the answer but
then it's also temporary so it's like this is a new story for something that's going to be in for what three
days yeah no like it's literally it's a spray from Dwayne Reed yeah I feel like I've been played no
you have been played I didn't even see this but just Claire in my opinion has been amongst you
know other things her chaotic energy she's always just been like a cliche romantic and this is
really just at least
she's consistent like I would expect nothing less from her than to like be crazy and dye her hair
pink. Yeah no she definitely has like is looking at like the breakup handbook and following each
step. Yeah like post an emotional quote like dye your hair pink. Or not even dye your hair pink like
bring her out some change. Yeah yeah yeah like it was more general and she took it as like I should
dye my hair. Yeah for sure. Well speaking of Claire we can get into our TV recap. Yes. Which is brought to
you by Fashion Pass. Oh, Fashion Pass. You guys see the little hearts that they sent me yesterday?
Yes, so cute. So cute. I have a whole display. I love Fashion Pass so much and I'm so glad that
you're about to tell everyone about it because everyone needs to know about Fashion Pass.
Yeah, can I do that? No, because I want to keep talking here please oh my gosh go for it i love okay also it's very appropriate that
the tv recap is brought to you by fashion pass because like all the girls on the bachelor like
definitely use fashion pass no 100 and i have this jacket from fashion pass that i saw sarah
wearing on her date and she definitely got it she got it from fashion pass fashion pass is a
clothing rental service that i actually heard about from my sisters it's like
rent the runway rent you want me to do it it's also easier to say than rent the runway it's like
rent the runway meets revolve you can revolve the runway they have great brands like for love and
lemons free people show me your muumuu i was wearing show me your muumuu on the show yesterday
it's the revolve of rental services i hate hate spending like $200 on a jacket or a dress.
Per item, it's so stupid.
Per item on a dress that I'll probably only wear once.
You know, you wear, gram, repeat.
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And then you get to choose new items.
One of my favorite parts about it is that if you love something and you want to keep it,
you get huge discounts anywhere between 30 and 60% off.
Yeah, no, I'm so crazy.
Like pretty much everything that I get, I want to keep.
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I absolutely love Fashion Pass.
Claudia and I were just talking about how we want to like switch up our wardrobe shop a little.
And Fashion Pass is the place to go to do that.
That I do.
You did great.
It's not as easy as I make it look.
Would you agree?
I would agree.
And also like I don't know why I'm choosing to read more things on a day when I just can't read.
You're having trouble.
I'm having trouble.
Okay, let's talk about The Bachelor.
Last night's episode started with a two-on-one, and thankfully justice was served.
I said to myself, and I think maybe I even said this last week, if Matt chooses MJ, like, I am done with this season.
Because, like, even though it's like he's a nice guy and he's, like, sweet and boring, like, don't be a pushover.
Like, don't be dumb.
Yeah.
And in the end, he did the right thing.
I thought Yesenia handled herself with elegance and class up the ass.
100%.
Then we get back to the house and.
Well there's no rose ceremony.
Right.
And everyone's like so bent out of shape.
And what I don't understand is the girls who got roses.
Then the next day they're back at the house.
And like Serena C is so upset that they didn't have time at the cocktail party.
But it's like you got a rose.
What's to be upset about?
Maybe if you had had time with him you wouldn't have gotten a rose yeah and I think
we should dedicate a lot of time to talking about Serena C because I dipped my toe in the Serena C
pond last week and I just want to say I was 100% right Serena C should be thanking her lucky stars
that she didn't get thrown into the MJ and Anna what's her name Anna Anna Anna mean girl Victoria
Victoria she was one of them they were
literally a foursome and someone forgot to mention her to Matt and she got so fucking lucky and not
only has she not changed her behavior she's digging in her conversation with Katie was
asinine like asinine she's so wrong she's so mean and even though I don't like love Katie and there's
like this campaign to make her the next bachelorette she was 100% right in everything no last night was the most I've ever liked Katie I liked her throughout just like for clearly standing up for
what's right and like really not taking shit from the other girls but when Serena C like came at her
with this nonsense I really appreciated that she just put her in her place and not only that when
she went when Serena went downstairs to like retell the girls what happened Katie followed
her down she's like well what did you say well I told them that you're like really not here for mad. And that like, you said that you're here
for the drama. And she's like, what are you talking about? Serena was being so losery last
night. She was making me so mad, especially when like, girl, have some self-awareness. Like you
should be so grateful that you didn't get sent home for being a bully. And like, that is your
legacy. Like the other girls, because it should have been you. I remember like thinking, I'm like,
why is Serena C being such a bitch to everyone? Like when the bitchiness was happening she was one of them she didn't get in trouble and not she didn't backtrack she dug
in even more yeah not my she's bothering me so much she was bothering me a lot I saw a funny
tweet that was like now with MJ gone Victoria's spirit has entered a new host yes literally
literally um so then the first one-on-one went to? Piper.
Oh, yeah.
That was such a fun date.
By the way, like, my dream.
Like, carnival, no lines.
It looked so fun.
And I didn't realize until last week when he ran over to her and gave her a kiss, like,
he's really into her.
Yeah.
So I do think she goes really far.
She's really pretty.
I really like her.
That date was so nice.
And she's really into him.
There's been a lot of, like, rose ceremonies where she's, like, doing the narration of
being so upset if she doesn't get a rose, constantly wanting more time I think that they have um a really
good connection and they're just struggling to find time so it's nice to see them get that last
night agreed and that day just looked like so much fun and like a perfect COVID date and then
comparing it to the other one-on-one that Katie got where like they were hanging out with Tyler
C which was obviously like funny but like not really fair like I would have liked much prefer much prefer
to have gone to Piper's date yeah I also felt like even though it's not fair not romantic
it was actually really funny I was laughing really hard and I think Katie was like the
perfect person to do that with yeah but she was like friend zoned because of it yes she was and
I was kind of annoyed because I felt like I could feel that she was probably gonna go home on this
date because it's like she came here she served her, and it's hard to get out of that like snitch box.
No, that justice box.
Yeah.
Like in a good way.
But she has been sort of like the informant so far.
And it's hard for the informant to be in love.
Yeah.
Right.
So I realized she was going to have a hard time.
But when they went to dinner, I thought that she was being like so cute.
Saying all of the right things. And it was like Matt was not interested in hearing that no I know I was actually she did nothing wrong not that you have to do something
wrong to go home but sometimes the person's awkward there's not a lot to say I thought she
said everything like so well and he just kind of maybe brushed it off and I also felt like up until
that point he didn't know how to send someone
home on a one-on-one but after like hanging with Tyler she like maybe he asked him like what do I
say if I want to send someone home on a date right so that was my thing I think that Tyler I mean not
Tyler uh Matt has been on one-on-ones with so many girls who I don't think are winners and who I don't
think he's even into and he just always gives a rose because he's a nice guy and that makes him
kind of boring and I was just kind of annoyed that he like decided to like find his
balls on Katie who was like really doing her best and is such a nice girl and she's like so sex
positive and everyone loves her like I was like why did you decide to do this now like do it on
someone I hate a hundred percent I just liked everything that she was saying she was being like
realistic and saying like new things about falling it You know, I just, I was.
It wasn't the same like bachelor vernacular.
Yes.
I was really appreciating it.
I felt like he went into the dinner wanting to send her home just because like he.
It was time.
It was time.
But like it's a lot of other people's time and they don't get sent home.
Yeah.
And I was mostly upset that Katie went home because Serena like thought she won.
I know.
But like if Serena doesn't go home in the next worst time, I will cry.
I know. We have two Serena doesn't go home in the next worst time, I will cry. I know.
We have two more things to talk about.
Let's first do the group date before we talk about the minivan extravaganza.
The group date was bowling.
He split them up into teams and then decided to let the other team win.
Like Matt is actually really starting to bother me.
Like be decisive.
Be decisive.
I wonder why.
And by the way, if the other team had won, he would not have brought this team.
I think more of the girls that he really likes were on the losing team i agree but then it's like he could have made
that decision in the moment no you're all winners we'll all go i think that they tried to like stick
to the plan because they keep doing that they keep saying losers aren't coming and then losers wind
up coming yeah so i think they stuck with the four i think nothing was happening i don't think
i think he had talked with all of them on the group date there was like nothing that
stood out to him.
Yeah.
There was nothing for the producers to share with us.
Yeah.
And so they brought in the other girls for the content, honestly.
But also, Matt, like Rachel was on that team.
Brie was on that team.
I think he was more into the girls on that team.
Yes, I think so too.
We have to also talk about Rachel because like all this stuff is coming out about her.
And like, I actually really feel like she wins. feel like she wins and I don't know how we
reconcile that where there's just like all these photos coming out of her um and like Instagram
posts that are just like not good and I don't know how like this has happened before kind of
similar to Garrett but Garrett was like liking memes that were offensive it's not really the
same at all but I don't know know how if she is the winner.
And she's just for the last few weeks like really,
and I don't know anything, really given me winner vibes.
Yeah, she's at least top four.
Two, yeah.
So I don't know how we reconcile that.
And I'm just kind of interested to see how that plays itself out.
Well, I mean, if she's the winner and I have to see the stuff,
but it will be on her.
It's all on like Reddit and stuff.
It will be on like her and Matt to navigate together.
Yeah, but they did do a segment on After the Final Rose about Garrett.
I don't know if they're doing After the Final Rose things because of COVID.
But I'm just.
I think it would be like the same thing.
Yeah.
That would just be crazy.
Like, I hope, like, honestly, I don't know.
I don't know.
It's just crazy.
But she also might not win.
Right.
Well, I still, like, I'm so delusional.
Like, I still think that Brie's going to win.
But, like, she literally hasn't spoken to Matt in five weeks.
No, I know.
And I was getting really, what's so weird is, like,
the girls are really upset and frustrated that they get no time with him.
And, like, they're talking in their interviews, like,
about how the process is so difficult and we don't get time with Matt.
And, like, they're talking to the people who do the process complaining about the process yeah and
it's as if it's like just the universe that makes them not have time you know what I mean you're so
right and what's really upsetting is watching Abigail who got the first impression Rose who
still hasn't had a one-on-one where it's like I know that the producers probably choose uh you
know 90 percent of how things are going to go.
But, like, Matt does have say.
And, like, if you have this amazing connection with her night one, like, where's her one-on-one?
To be honest, I didn't really get the vibe that he had this amazing connection with her on night one.
I think he was really impressed with how open she was and how the conversation.
Like, I don't think it was a connection thing.
I think he just really respected her story and her being so vocal on night one.
I think it was more like props to you
than like I love you that was the vibe that I got right because he literally hasn't spoken to her
since then is a gesture yeah of romance yeah but it's also on television and you want to do the
right thing and I think that like of all the girls Abigail definitely made the biggest impact
especially with me like I just thought the way she spoke about her story still why can't she have a
date for Matt to see if it's okay I'm so impressed by you as a person is there a love connection there yeah instead of like making her suffer for
so many weeks it's so sad that always happens to the girl who like gets the first impression rose
like i remember hannah g never got a one-on-one yeah what the hell no you're right said i'm into
you yeah and the pinnacle of last night's episode was heather martin from colton season rolling up
in a minivan not once not twice but three times, being forced to quarantine and still hasn't even met Matt.
She's making all the, okay, so like there was so much to unpack.
Let's start first.
She rolls up in a minivan.
Yeah.
And no shade towards minivans at all.
It's just like, it's a questionable choice in car scenes.
That was really more for like an older, you know, mom or father of three heading to soccer practice.
It's just a very interesting, you don't think of it as a young reality star like Matt's driving around in g-wagons and corvettes and
porches and like Heather's rolling up in like a white Dodge Caravan it's confusing I personally
love a minivan like so spacious to be in one like I love everything about them that was just not the
time and place there's a time and place there is and you know I even feel weird like when Bronwyn
drives her minivan but she has seven kids.
So like it actually makes sense.
But Bronwyn is like this fabulous, young, hot like thing.
And it just, it doesn't fit.
And so with Heather, it didn't fit.
Minivans are hysterical.
I'm like thinking about them like really like in depth right now.
Everyone is.
The minivan was the star of the episode.
No, the minivan was the star of the episode.
But like just minivan life.
Because like you could have a lot going on in your car and not drive a minivan.
But like, but the minivan is so functional.
No, I mean, who wouldn't want a minivan?
So much space.
Like, am I going to drive a minivan one day?
I hope so.
You should only be so lucky.
I should only be so lucky.
So then she rolls up and says, hi, I'm Heather Martin.
And can I speak to Chris Harrison?
And Chris Harrison's like, what the fuck are you doing here?
And he obviously has to talk to some people.
So she has to quarantine in the meantime.
And they just gave her this like wholly unnecessary air time of her like trying to be cute and quirky in this hotel room like putting pizza boxes on her
head and like I'm Rapunzel Matt climb up like oh my god she was just trying so hard and let me let
me get this straight there is a way to bust in on a season that's not yours there is a way to do it
Becca Tilly could tell you how.
She did it very gracefully on night one,
humbled herself and joined the other women.
This is like the most beastly way to do it.
And I just think that Heather,
when she was recording her videos,
was really giving me New York vibes.
Like somebody lied to her several times
because she was acting like she was like this funny,
hilarious like girl.
And I just found her to be so unbelievably irritating.
And I'm curious if that was just me.
It wasn't just you.
Because somebody lied to her several times.
Yeah, but like she also seems kind of awkward,
but I just didn't understand.
Like she put the pizza box on her head.
And then she was doing the...
Let's dive into that.
Let's dive into that.
What's that called?
Mashed potatoes?
Dance move.
Like when you crisscross.
Yeah.
She put the pizza box...
She put the pizza box on her head.
No, it was such an interesting choice.
It was mashed potatoes.
Yeah.
And the pizza.
With the pizza.
Yeah.
The pizza actually stayed.
Yeah, the pizza did stay.
You're right.
The pizza did stay.
Very interesting.
But then she, like, wanted the pizza to fall. Yeah, the pizza did stay. You're right. The pizza did stay. Very interesting. But then she like wanted the pizza to fall.
Yeah, no.
And I just didn't understand like what was she trying to prove to us?
Like she had good posture?
No, like she was doing it until the pizza fell.
And it's like, but the point is for the pizza to stay.
Yeah, of course.
You're not going to ruin good pizza.
It's fresh pizza.
I just didn't understand.
She was making no sense the whole time.
And her vlogs were just like really irritating me.
Like cringy ass content.
And I just think like I'm not convinced that she's here because Hannah Brown thinks they would be
good together I'm because the way that she's acting is like I want more Instagram followers
like she literally might as well have had a big sign on the Dodge Caravan on the side that says
Heather is here for more Instagram followers follow me at Heather Martin. In Heather's defense, because I must,
we know her from Colton season
and she did not seem like that type of person.
So I want to say that she really is there
because she thinks that Matt could be her person.
Showing up in the dead middle of a season
is not a legitimate way.
I want to just blame Hannah Brown
for not introducing them sooner.
Like I'm really trying to take this at face value
that like Heather, I think, and Matt take this at face value that, like,
Heather, I think, and Matt might actually be a good match.
And he might be going and getting engaged.
And this is her chance, like, to, this is her one chance to meet this guy
that she thinks might be the right guy for her.
But why didn't she go on night one?
I don't know.
Like everyone else.
She could have easily gotten a spot.
Or even the second wave of women.
There was not only one.
The second wave.
There were two times that she could have come on.
And I'm sure there are reasonable explanations for all of this.
And I'm sure Heather is like reading the tweets and listening to the podcast.
And it's like, no, no, no, you guys, you don't know what happened.
Tell us.
They made me.
So I need to hear from her why she didn't go night one,
why she didn't come in the second wave,
why it had to be that way in that minivan yeah well she did
say that it was like the last available car at the rental service oh did she she put up an instagram
stop okay respect but also nema colin is so huge why didn't they let her quarantine on the grounds
like the fact that she had to drive herself okay wait can i say something in her gown somebody dm'd
me that they like know nema colin nema col colon very well and where heather was staying like was fully in walking distance
to the rose ceremony but like producers made her get back in the minivan to drive to the rose
ceremony it's like all the other girls like show up in a limo night one stepping out like she
probably had to like take her heels off yeah the fact that they literally
couldn't even send her a car for her and she had to pull up in her own minivan like that was rude
it was so rude like the girls were and also we need to talk about the girls like when will they
learn that just this mean girl way is not the way to do things like first of all i think heather is
actually a nice person it was nice of her to come and smile and wave like yeah she couldn't get the
door open and they were like oh god it was just so awkward but it looks like the girls have a breakdown next week that
there's another girl here and like that's just but this always happens the girls who have breakdowns
about like out like other girls are the girls who have literally no future with matt they have no
relationship with matt they're just worried because like this girl could take their spot
and they'll be going home sooner than anticipated the girls with real connections i can never
remember her name the teacher michelle who I adore Michelle doesn't worry
about anyone Brie doesn't worry about anyone Rachel doesn't worry about anyone it's all the
girls who have literally no connection who are hanging on by a thread they're always the ones
up in arms yeah it's not the ones with true connections yeah that's how you know okay what
do you think Matt's gonna do about Heather I mean he's been such a pushover like I really don't know and I feel like he really respects
Hannah Brown's opinion like I feel like she might end up saying but the only reason she wouldn't is
like it's literally so late there's nine girls left like it's really low and he has said and
this is like what happened when Nick Vile joined Caitlyn's season he has said that like he thinks
his wife is in this group so if you think Heather could be your wife then did you lie right no it's such a good point um I just am feeling like a
little sorry for her because I think from what we know about her like she is a nice yeah not really
she's not a villain person so I just wonder how she wound up in this situation it's so unlike her
like and what we know about her from her season was she was super quiet she was pretty much relevant except for the fact that she had never been kissed before and she had
her first kiss on national television yeah and she didn't even go to paradise yeah so i'm just
confused also like is paradise filming yeah i think they're gonna do paradise this year i think
they're gonna do it at like a resort why they never even leave the compound anyway no i know
i think they'll have an easy time doing it.
Yeah, I actually love Paradise.
That's like one show I don't mind watching.
The Bachelor, especially at the end of the second season, becomes a chore.
I was looking at the clock the whole time just wanting to go to sleep.
But I'm grateful for the minivan because that really made things a lot more fun.
It did.
So that's our Bachelor recap.
If you're looking for more Bachelor talk the episode of The Snatchler
is out.
Heather said that that
was the last car in the
lot like I'm sure
Bachelor producers and
PAs went and rented
every car at the rental
company.
Yeah of course.
Just so that the
minivan.
So if you're looking
for more Bachelor
content The Snatchler
which is our Toast
News Network Bachelor
recap show hosted by
our sister Margo has a
new episode out this
week and she does
episodes every week on everything Bachelor Nation.
So in depth.
So in depth.
So head over to The Snatcher available anywhere you get podcasts.
And that's our show.
Would you agree?
Yes.
I think that that is all that she had written.
Right.
Like that.
That was our show, right?
No.
It was ours.
It was someone else's show.
Thank you guys.
That was Theo's show.
Hope you enjoyed it.
So true.
Thank you guys so much for listening to the. Hope you enjoyed it. So true. Thank you guys so much
for listening to
The Morning Toast,
The Millennial Morning Show
where we deliver
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you tomorrow