The Toast - S4 Ep3: Meeska, Mooska, Mickey Mouse: Wednesday, January 6th, 2021
Episode Date: January 6, 2021Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are getting a divorce: ‘She’s done’ (via Page Six) Alex Trebek was in ‘enormous pain’ during final ‘Jeopardy!’ tapings: EP (via Page Six) JoJo Siw...a Responds to Controversial “JoJo’s Juice” Board Game Featuring "Inappropriate Content" (via E! Online) Dr. Dre Says He's 'Doing Great' After Being Hospitalized and Will Be 'Back Home Soon' (via People) Dr. Dre’s home target of burglary ring while he’s hospitalized for aneurysm (via Page Six) KFC will sell plant-based fried chicken in these cities (via CNN Business) The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Ben Soffer (@boywithnojob) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the Morning Toast. Happy Hump Day.
I am very appropriately sitting here with two boys that I just love to hump.
The first is Theo, as he is the official mascot of Hump Day.
And the other is my co-host for the second day in a row, the man that I sleep with every night,
and the man that I love, Mr. Ben Soffer. Hi, Ben. How are you?
Hump Day!
Do you remember that commercial?
Of course I do. I just said, Hump Day!
Geico.
By the way, Geico, unbelievable advertising.
Unbelievable marketing strategy.
And it's funny.
It's like you'd think that over the years it would change,
but really whoever's in there just is in there and is there until they die, I guess.
I guess.
We'll know when the Geico creative guy dies.
The Geico.
It'll go downhill.
Thank you so much for joining me here
again today. Thank you for having me.
I truly appreciate it. How are you
doing since your last stint
on the morning toast yesterday? Have people stopping you in the
street? Actually, last night
I was accosted in the
streets. Oh, really? By
hordes of fans of the morning toast? A group
of three, I will say
high school ladies in masks as I walked down the street yelled,
Oh my God, it's the husband of Caller Daddy.
Oh, that's funny.
And I was like, no, it's not.
And I kept walking.
Was your pride?
Oh my God, it's Girl With No Jobs' husband and her dog.
I recognized your dog.
I'm like, thanks.
Is your pride a little butthurt?
It's just like Theo's so much more famous than me.
Oh, by the way.
It's just ridiculous.
100%.
Theo gets stopped in the street like on a daily basis.
It's actually exhausting.
That's why he's always sleeping.
He's like exhausted from literally putting society on his back.
He's so incredibly famous.
It's unreal.
It's disgusting.
It's disgusting.
I want to kill him
speaking of something that's okay i don't know how to transition but um yesterday on the podcast i
totally forgot to ask you to do your mickey mouse clubhouse um impression because i told everyone
about it on monday's show about how we watched so much mickey mouse clubhouse over christmas break
because we spend time with our niece and she fucking loves mickey mouse clubhouse and we were
like running around the house
being like, Miska, Muska,
and then we discovered Ben has this incredible talent
for Mickey Mouse impersonations,
so I want to say just go for it.
Miska, Muska, Mickey Mouse.
That's really good.
It is, right?
It's really good, and you know what?
I think you don't do that many good impersonations.
Neither do I.
Like, it's a really hard skill.
I think the only impersonation that I do decently is, like, Shakira.
I think I do two that are good.
What's your other one?
Euphigenia Doubtfire, dear.
That's very good.
The truckers for Euphigenia have arrived.
They haven't been here in a while since they were here for Tayshia.
But the truckers for Euphigenia have arrived.
That's very good.
Yeah, I only do Shakira, like, half arrived. That's very good. Yeah, I only do Shakira like half well.
You do a good Shakira, honestly.
Whenever, wherever, we're meant to be together.
I'll be there and you'll be here.
That's like, it's gotten worse over time.
That's good.
But, you know, I wish I could do more impersonations.
We should start honing that craft.
It's funny.
I think that because Mickey just came so naturally,
I wonder what others I could do. It's like
I didn't try to learn Mickey.
Mickey just came to me. You didn't choose Mickey.
Mickey chose you. He chose me. Yeah.
Miska! Muska!
Mickey Crunch!
It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Come inside. It's fun inside.
It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
We have a great show for you guys
today obviously i know everyone's just tuning in because we gotta talk about kim and kanye like the
news of the day have you do you know what the news is kimmy you know like of course okay okay i just
i don't want to insult of course no look the big d the big d so we have a great show for you guys
today fast five stories of course we'll be recapping kim and kanye i know jackie is
devastado that she's not here.
But it's Wednesday, so we're also going to do a little TV recap.
I want to talk about Bridgerton and Real Housewives of Dallas
very quickly. Ben didn't watch. I just want
to give a couple thoughts. And then,
obviously, Dear Toasters, which is our advice segment.
And hopefully you guys wrote in some good
stuff for me and Ben. I haven't seen them yet. They've been pre-screened.
And hopefully we'll be able to deliver
some life-changing advice.
I've been told that I deliver life-changing advice.
By who?
That's something that people say about me.
Who?
Ben.
Who?
He does a great Mickey Mouse impression.
He does an unbelievable Yufa Janiyah.
And he gives life-changing advice.
I just, I'm not saying I don't believe you.
I would just love to know who these people are.
You'll know them when you see them.
When will I see them?
You'll see them. Okay. So I think we should just dive in because we just got to get to talking
about Kim and Connie and the unbelievable news that I literally reject from the universe. So
let's just dive right into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take
a bite out of your morning toast. Very good, Ben. You have so much experience clearing your throat.
You're probably very good at that. Does it feel good in the back of your throat?
No, it clears a different portion.
Like those throat clearers that are listening, they know that you can clear the beginning of your throat or really more towards the esophagus.
You were on such a kick last night with your throat clearing.
Like it was the fact that I didn't stab you in your sleep.
I should win an award.
Yeah, so that was deeper throat clearing.
I was trying to cleanse my esophagus versus the more upfront throat clearing that more focuses on the roof of your mouth.
That's where you get the.
Okay, I think that's enough.
Oh, speaking of.
Oh, I have to sneeze.
Oh, I wish we were on video.
Bless you.
Sneezing on the toast is one of my favorite pastimes, but I do a little dance
with it, but we're not recording video today. Sorry guys, you missed it. As I was saying,
I think that sneeze is a mere symptom of my RDH. So it's best to let everyone know that today's
episode is brought to you by Bruch. Our favorite electric toothbrush here at the Morning Toast,
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Now, leading into our first story,
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because they weren't bruching.
It's possible.
What a great name, bruch.
I know, right?
It's just a fabulous brand.
Mm-hmm, bruch.
Okay, page six.
They were the first to report it, so according to them,
and now it's on the cover of the New York Post, and now it's being reported widely
that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are getting a divorce.
Now, here are the facts from Page Six, and then let's just go, you know, it's one of those things, like,
you know, like historical events where you remember where you were when you found out?
Like, I literally remember where I was when I found out that Kim and Chris Humphries
were getting a divorce.
I was in history class in the 11th grade,
and it was really traumatizing.
So now I'll remember I was sitting in my bed
doing a Q&A when I found out Kim and Kanye.
And see, do you remember where you were
when you found out that Kobe passed away?
Of course.
Me too.
I was in my bed again,
because I'm always in my bed.
But there are certain things that, like,
that you remember where you were, and this is going to be one of them. Yep, I was walking around Blo again because I'm always in my bed. But there are certain things that you remember where you were,
and this is going to be one of them.
Yep, I was walking around Bloomingdale's aimlessly looking at my phone
saying, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are over.
Multiple sources tell Page Six that divorce is imminent for the Hollywood couple
with Kardashian hiring divorce attorney to the stars, Laura Wasser.
They are keeping it low-key, but they are done, says a source.
Kim has hired Laura Wasser, and they are in settlement talks. Kim, 40, hasn't been seen wearing her
wedding ring and Kanye, 43, remained at his $14 million Wyoming ranch over the holidays instead
of spending it with the Kardashian family, who drew criticism for their extravagant celebrations.
Kim got Kanye to go up to Wyoming so they could live separate lives and quietly get things sorted
out to separate and divorce. She's done, the source said. So let me just explain that when I saw this story, at first I just completely
rejected it. I have seen in the past year, people have always said stuff about Kim and Kanye,
but definitely in the last year, when he's been going through some mental health issues and he's
been on Twitter saying stuff about her family, and Kim actually has spoken out um about about the whole situation
people have said this before and so I didn't really pay it any mind and then they announced
they were going to put it on the cover of the New York Post which I thought was a really big deal
and then it started to be reported more widely from like E! and TMZ and I was forced to like
look in the mirror I couldn't ignore this story. And as much as it pains me to say this, it appears as though it may be true. And I just don't know what to do with this
information. Like I'm honestly, I'm thinking of all my Kimye stands. I'm thinking of Jackie O.
Like this is really sad because I feel like people have talked about them forever, but there was
always proof in their, in the success of their marriage. Like they weren't getting divorced.
They've been together for eight years. They have four kids, like Say what you want, but this is what a happy marriage looks like.
And I just feel like I can't say that anymore.
And that's really sad.
Yeah, it is sad, especially because I just don't feel like this is what Kim had wanted.
People can always say, oh, they'll just find another husband.
That's what they always do.
It's pretty clear that she definitely loved him.
She stayed with him him besides the four kids
that's a big deal but like there are plenty of people that get divorced with children that were
in loveless marriages like i think that she like stayed with him through some really tough times
in his life i totally agree i think that it only became something that again i don't know them i
know nothing so this is just like conjecture. Yeah. But it, it seems like
it affected her and her family too much publicly that that's when she sort of needed to step away.
Yeah. I feel like she's not that shallow. I feel like, I think that there's a lot,
I think between him running for president and then dropping out and then all those videos.
And it's just like, uh, it's not, it's not about being shallow. It's like there's just so much.
There's only so much.
There's so much publicity
that you can just like
sort of push away
to a point where
it's going to start to affect
your own mental health
and your family.
No, that's interesting.
I mean,
when,
whenever,
I think it was
maybe like Kim's
Eat Your Hollywood story
or just like whenever she refers to her meeting
Kanye, she really wasn't taken
seriously by a lot of people before
Kanye. I think
her and her family were just regarded as reality
stars, and Kim was constantly trying to
break into the fashion world, and Kanye brought
her as his
plus one to the Met Gala. She was so
nervous, and she was really trying to break into fashion. Nobody
gave her the time of day until Kanye was like, yeah, I like this girl.
Like she's my wife and brought her everywhere and like really gave Kim and the whole family,
like a true sense of legitimacy. So I don't know. I don't know if Kim would be so quick to like be
so shallow being like, oh, you're giving me bad press. Like at some point I think Kim is like
too famous to care. It's not. I just think that it's like,
nobody knows what goes on in a marriage.
And I think the small bit that we do know,
which is Kanye's very public struggle
with mental health issues,
I think that can take a toll on a marriage.
I do.
Yeah, agreed.
I'm just really sad.
Like, and I don't,
like I know it's going to be exciting
because I'm like a pop culture podcast host.
I'm like, now we get to see who Kim is dating.
I heard a rumor that she's dating Van Jones, who is a host.
Do you know who that is?
I know the name.
Yeah, he's a host on CNN.
And he worked with Kim on a lot of her prison reform
and like a lot of the TV spots she did for Alice Marie Johnson.
So people say that she's dating him.
I don't believe that.
There's also like an insane rumor on TikTok that Kanye West is dating Jeffree Star,
which is like so far fetched.
But I just like, I hate that we're here.
Like, I don't want to know Kim's dating because I know she's home with Kanye, you know?
Yeah.
I mean, if she's dating somebody right now, then I take back everything that I said.
And if he's dating somebody like not dating, like sure.
Like if you hear that, like if the rumors about him and Jeffree Star
are true, that would be, like, a whole crazy thing.
I'm sorry I even put that out there. Like, that's just
not true. But,
like, I don't know.
I don't think that you, like, get out of a loveless marriage.
I mean, you don't get out of a loving marriage
and just jump into dating someone
when you're so busy. Like, that's, like, her thing.
It's, like, I'm so busy, I can't,
like, breathe. Like, I remember I watched, like, a couple episodes of, her thing. It's like, I'm so busy, I can't, like, breathe.
Like, I remember I watched, like, a couple episodes of The Kardashians.
You don't have to be embarrassed.
You could say you watch it.
No, no, I wish that I watched more of it.
I've only watched, like, a couple episodes of this season.
I specifically remember an episode where it's, like, Kim talking about how she hasn't been alone.
And, like, she has her family.
She has her business.
Like, four kids is a ton.
A ton.
And it's like, okay, so now you'd assume that if she's
like going through a separation with her husband, that she wouldn't try and make her life busier.
So the thing is, is that when you were watching that episode, we were watching when they were
in quarantine, Kanye offered to take the kids. Kanye has been in Wyoming for most of quarantine.
So I think that they have decided to not be married well over a year ago. That's my opinion.
And they are now only deciding
to be public and actually file the divorce papers so i think if either one of them is dating someone
they are well within their right i think that they haven't been like emotionally married for a year
fair fair and i think that if it weren't for coronavirus and like all the shit going on in
the world they might have even announced this way sooner because we know that kanye and on the show
they tried to make it seem like kim like kanye is giving me my space like he's gonna go to wyoming
with the kids like we know that they've been living separate lives and by the way there are
plenty of people who live separate lives from their husbands and live in perfectly happy marriages so
i didn't think anything of it i didn't but i'm also just like a blindly loyal stan but i'm being
confronted with the truth now and it's just it's really tough to swallow tough anything you want
to say last words on the kimmy marriage before i wrap this up no it's it's a tough pill to swallow speaking
of another tough pill to swallow this is kind of like a sad day here at the morning toast um this
is a page six article according to them alex trebek was in quote enormous pain during final
jeopardy jeopardy tapings so i don't know if know, but this week is the last bit of episodes. He had pre-recorded a ton of Jeopardy episodes. So when he died, he still had like two more months of
Jeopardy already recorded. But ahead of Alex Trebek's final Jeopardy episodes airing this week,
executive producer Mike Richards is opening up about what it was like for the late host to film
the show just 10 days before his death. Richard said on the Today Show,
it was Herculean. He was in enormous pain. But despite Trebek's struggles, Richard said viewers
will not sense that in any of the episode. He is strong, he sounds great, he is funny,
and he is amazing, the EP added, calling the beloved host an absolute warrior. Trebek's final
five episodes will begin airing Monday on ABC, and Richard teased a special monologue during one of
the episodes.
He said, in this very special, unbelievable final week,
he comes out and gives a talk about the importance of togetherness
and sticking together and what the world is struggling.
But we have to get through it together, and we had chills.
Okay, so final five episodes this week,
and apparently we get a special message from Alex Trebek,
and according to the executive producer, he was in a lot of pain.
That's, I mean, I can't even talk about my feelings
for Alex Trebek, like, without crying.
It's amazing that he truly was, like, married to the show.
Like, I don't know anybody in the world
that films literally up until they die.
No, it's insane.
Like, you leave, you, like, spend your next years...
With your family.
Yeah, or, like, in Florida.
It's always Florida.
Yeah.
No, I know what you mean.
And it's just, like, you come to terms with things,
and I guess the only thing...
I wonder if this is going to be very profound.
Perhaps the show was literally keeping him alive.
Perhaps.
Seriously.
No, I feel that.
Because he's been sick for a very long time.
Yeah, and it did.
How old is he?
I think somewhere in his 80s.
Or like late 70s.
No, definitely not 80s.
No, 70s.
Late 70s.
I think that for a while he was doing really well in his treatment.
And people thought that he might beat it.
But stage four pancreatic cancer is, like, nobody gets to beat that.
It's just awful.
So I just love him so much.
And I can't believe, like, I actually haven't watched any of the episodes this week.
Like, I honestly find it too triggering.
Like, I love him so much.
Yeah, he's a great guy.
I will watch them at some point.
But just to know that, like, they're still out're still out there means I have something to look forward to
in terms of Alec Trebek.
But if I just watch them, I don't think I'm ready.
All right, next up, I'm going to change the...
The vibe.
The vibe.
It's a very somber vibe.
This is a weird-ass story that I actually followed on TikTok,
and now it's being written up on E! News.
JoJo Siwa is responding to controversial
JoJo's Juice board game featuring inappropriate content.
JoJo took to social media to address the inappropriate questions
on the children's game, JoJo's Juice.
JoJo Siwa is addressing the criticism
over controversial Nickelodeon board game, JoJo's Juice.
She is 17.
The 17-year-old YouTube star, who has a young fan base,
took to Instagram and TikTok on Monday to shed some light
on how the children's game ended up with the inappropriate content for the targeted
six and up audience. She said over the weekend, it has been brought to my attention by my fans
and followers on TikTok that my name and image have been used to promote this board game that
has some really inappropriate content. Now, when companies make these games, they don't run every
aspect by me. So I had no idea the types of games that were on these playing cards. Now, when companies make these games, they don't run every aspect by me, so I had no idea the types of games that were on these playing cards. Now, when I first saw this, I was really, really,
really upset about how gross these questions were. And so I brought it to Nickelodeon's attention
immediately. And since then, they have been working to stop getting this game made and also
being pulled from all shelves wherever it's sold. So this kind of happened in such a weird way.
Some TikToker, I think maybe it was like a mom
who bought the game for her kid,
made a video that went viral being like,
why is JoJo Siwa selling this game?
Where it's like, it was just like-
What are the questions?
Do you know any of them?
It wasn't like, where'd you give your first blow job?
But it was like inappropriate for six and up.
But what is that?
Okay, let me find, I need to find that.
It's important. No, find that. It's important.
No, I know. It's important to know what some of them are. Oh, here. Other questions from the multiplayer
game were, who in this room would you most like
to date? Have you ever stolen
from a store? Those were two of the questions.
And JoJo said she never, ever, ever
would have approved or agreed to a game that reportedly
included questions about being arrested
and nudity.
No, the thing is, is that, of course, the questions to us
don't seem like such a big deal, and Jojo Siwa
is 17, but her core audience is
like hardcore four-year-olds.
First of all, I don't know who Jojo Siwa is.
What? Yeah, I don't know who she is.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
But she's on Nickelodeon. No. Oh.
Wait, what? I don't know who that is. Do you know who she looks like? No. Show me a picture. But she's on Nickelodeon. No. Oh. Wait, what?
I don't know who that is.
Do you know who she looks like?
No.
Okay.
Show me a picture.
Maybe I'll know who she is.
You know this girl.
Maybe.
Oh my God.
Are you serious?
Swear.
Wait, how do you live in my house and not know who JoJo Siwa is?
I don't know.
I have to give you background now.
Okay, fine.
Give me some background.
Okay.
Because then I have a...
Yeah.
So JoJo, remember the show Dance Moms?
Yes. Oh. Yes. So she was remember the show dance moms yes oh yes so
she was like on the show but like not i remember not popular by any means necessary and you know
the girls from that show like a lot of them became like big instagrammers to some dancers
jojo was like irrelevant on the show honestly and she took like the modica mafema chat and she
started like a youtube channel and she like became this kid sensation, like the wiggles,
like everything she does is kid, kid, kid, kid, kid. She's like a singer and she makes like these
songs that kids love. And she goes on tours. She does arenas and a lot of the tour is sponsored
by Nickelodeon. I know she partners with Nickelodeon a lot. I don't think she has her
own TV show on Nickelodeon, but she's like literally like the Hannah Montana, but she
skews much, much younger. And what's
so impressive about her and why everyone's obsessed with her is that
she has a billion
dollar licensing company because her name
and image are worth so much. She has these
lines of lunchboxes,
hair ties,
anything you can imagine, merch,
backpacks, kids' comforters,
everything at Walmart. And
it's not her company. It's a licensing thing.
So they use her name and image.
So her products globally have generated over a billion dollars.
She's not herself a billionaire because it's a licensing thing.
But that's how a game like this gets made.
Like they license her name and then put like something inappropriate in the box.
I understand.
So I just thought you should need some background.
Okay, that is good background.
So she is an
icon to the young child. To very young. Like, you know, who's, you know, who did a YouTube video
with her? Who's obsessed with her? Northwest. Ah, very young. Kim went over to her house. Very
young. Very young. Okay. So when you enter into a relationship with a network, a Nickelodeon,
let's say, you have to assume that the way that nickelodeon speaks to kids
is going to be the way that nickelodeon speaks to the kids in your board game yeah if she's ever
watched one episode of anything on nickelodeon oh she knows that so many of the jokes are made
for the parents watching with their kids they're a little they're inappropriate you're right but
it's the same thing on disney. It's always, it's just,
because the kids are not watching by themselves
and the parents slowly get hooked.
There's a reason why into the ages of,
like my dad would watch Hannah Montana with me
and occasionally laugh.
We'd watch it back and out.
Well, Bruce is a man of taste
and Hannah Montana is an amazing show.
You get what I'm saying?
Yeah, no, no, I agree.
She didn't partner with
Mattel, not Mattel, like
what's a really young kid's brand?
Something with a P? Barbie?
Not even Barbie, like Play-Doh
or like... No, by the way, I totally disagree with you.
I think her partnering with Nickelodeon,
she can assume that what's going out with her name
on it is going to be kid-friendly.
Mom tested, mother... No, what is it?
Kid tested, mother approved. Great, so 99%
of the questions are kid tested,
mother approved, and one of them is talking about arrest
that's like, oh no, that's
like a shock factor question.
This is definitely like an overreaction,
but I think JoJo Si was a queen for like getting out
in front of it and just like taking
responsibility. Like, she's a fucking queen.
Getting her product off the shelves.
Yeah, it sucks for Nickelodeon. They'll probably lose probably lost a lot of money yeah and this is like embarrassing for
them they have an image issue and don't make me say why because one just everyone knows why
ben what did i just say i said don't say by the way i'm not trying to get a lawsuit have you ever
spoken about him shh seriously shh shh silence not... Shut up! I know... Don't say anything. Seriously.
You sure? Yeah. Next up, it has been a very, very good... Sorry. No good, very bad week for Dr. Dre.
He says he's doing great after being hospitalized and will be back home soon.
So he shared on Instagram after the news was reported that he was suffering from a brain
aneurysm, which is like a crazy thing. Terrible. And then to make matters worse, Page Six is
now reporting his home was the target of a
burglary while he was hospitalized
for the aneurysm. Yeah, probably by
his fucking wife. Why his wife?
Oh, you don't know the drama? No, what?
He's in the middle of a horrific divorce. Okay.
And if you follow The Shade Room,
you'd know that she's like trying to
take him for everything that he has. I mean, if I was married
to Dr. Dre, I would literally be doing the same thing.
And you know, I actually did see something yesterday, because his wife was spilling his
dirty laundry, saying he has over $260 million in cash.
That's crazy.
So, well, he's the richest man ever because of Beats and because of his music.
But apparently his wife...
His music, Beats by Dre.
No, his music is separate from Beats. No, but his music is the Beats by Dre. No, his music is separate from Beats.
No, but his music is the Beats by Dre.
Totally.
Totally.
Well, let me just tell you the details of the robbery,
and then we can see if maybe it was the wife.
Dr. Dre's L.A. home was the target of a burglary ring
while the music mogul was hospitalized after suffering a brain aneurysm.
Police said nothing was taken when the suspects tried and failed
to break into Dre's Brentwood pad around 10 p.m. Tuesday.
During a surveillance operation in the swanky neighborhood,
police spotted an SUV thought to be involved in the ring
and apprehended four suspects.
Police didn't immediately return Page Six's request for comment.
Though 55-year-old Dre hasn't commented on the attempted burglary,
he did speak out on his health.
Thanks to my family, friends, and fans for their interest and well wishes.
I will be out of the hospital and back home soon.
Shout out to all the great medical professionals at Cedars.
One love.
Dre's hospitalization comes amid his bitter divorce battle with estranged wife, Nicole Young.
Oh my God, who is seeking $2 million per month in spousal support.
She's, from what I'm reading, again, I don't know them,
I don't know anything.
But from what I'm reading,
she's caused a lot of stress
in this divorce.
He's been incredibly stressed
and a cause of the brain aneurysm is...
Oh, you are not blaming the wife
for his brain aneurysm
and the robbery.
I'm not blaming her for the robbery.
I wasn't saying that.
But I am blaming her for the aneurysm.
Leave him alone.
Dr. Dre is a P-jom, but I guess if you do have $260 million a month,
you could spare two.
I'm sorry.
If you have $260 million, period, you could spare two a month.
Two a month?
He's broke in 10 years.
But he's still making money.
That's the thing.
He's not living off of some wealth.
I don't think that he's making, for the rest of his life, $50 million a year.
I think he's making a lot of money off of his music and his Apple stock.
Okay.
$2 million a month is just...
It's a lot.
It's insane.
We were saying Kelly Clarkson's husband was requesting spousal support.
I think it was $1 million a month.
That was insane because Kelly Clarkson like not nearly as rich as Dre.
No,
Dr.
Dre is legend.
No.
And like,
to be honest,
like I admire his wife's tenacity.
Like if I was getting divorced from one of the richest men alive,
like I would do everything that I could to like get the most.
I don't know.
I kind of feel her.
Interesting.
It's a good thing.
We're still married.
This is true.
Um,
all right.
Finally,
I wanted to give a little,
a little business news,
something I think you might be interested in
because it's a fast food
piece of information from CNN Business.
What are you implying? That you love fast food.
Do I? You love fast food more than me.
Okay, did I say that I didn't love fast food?
The Mickey D Queen.
KFC is going to start selling...
Good brand. They're going to start selling
plant-based fried chicken.
Oh, that's interesting. See, I knew you would like this story.
I do.
Only in a few cities, though.
They're launching a plant-based version of their fried chicken in about 50 locations,
LA, Orange County, and San Diego next week.
The chain has already served the fake chicken version of its products, which is made by
Beyond Meat.
KFC's first tested Beyond Fried Chicken in Atlanta for one day last summer, and then
it served the product for a limited time in Nashville and Charlotte this past winter.
The current version will be available in California
while supplies last.
KFC plans to monitor the results of this test
to determine whether to make
beyond fried chicken available nationally.
I'm not going to lie.
We talk about here on The Toast,
like plant-based options being put in McDonald's
and Burger King, and we're always for it.
But this seems kind of nasty.
I have a couple of questions.
Because I love KFC.
Like love, love, love.
But honestly, I don't fuck with their chicken.
Like I fuck with their sides.
Their chicken is like kind of not good.
Sorry, I said it.
But their mac and cheese, on the other hand, is like literally,
I imagine heaven is like seriously just like a big lake filled with KFC mac and cheese
and Boston Market mac and cheese, which is very similar. I have a couple of questions here.
Question number one. I love Beyond Meats in general. I think that they taste really good.
I think so too. And for somebody that tries to limit their red meat consumption, I think it's a really good replacement.
When are we going to find out that it like leads to you growing like a third arm?
Oh, 100%.
Like nothing can taste that much like meat, not be meat, and not be horrific for you.
Yeah.
Especially because this is like the trial run. It's like, oh, before
Splenda came out and like, we realized that it was fine, like sweet and low. And like,
there was something with sweet and low. People say about all those different sugars that they
like give you cancer. No, but the only thing is that OG ones apparently were much worse. Like
there's some trial and error is what I'm saying. Equal is the worst. You know what I'm saying?
There's some trial and error. Yes. But saying. Equal is the worst. You know what I'm saying? There's some trial and error.
Yes, but if Impossible and Beyond Meat claim to be plant-based, then how bad could they be?
Bad.
I don't know what else.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know what chemicals are in there. Just because it's plant-based, okay.
At the bottom, you put a fucking plant.
Like, I don't know.
A leaf.
Yeah, a leaf.
Exactly.
And then you throw a clump of duty on the leaf.
Is it still plant-based?
That's a great question. To be honest honest though like i do agree with you like there's something too good about them like when we were just away um jackie made uh like a home chef and she gets
impossible meat home chef she made these quesadillas that were like fake beef and oh my god it was so
fucking good and like that's not the shit i eat like i don't like that shit but you're right it tastes too good to be like not giving you you know a third arm a third limb or
something yeah 100 tastes too good and then my second thing we're animal lovers we are like i
don't know if like do the toasters know quite how much you love animals well have you ever told them
i haven't told them we are like beyond animal lovers. Wow. Beyond weird. Uh,
like care so much for the environment and like always, we're just always thinking about stuff
like this. And of course, like beyond meats and like all of that, it's to eventually eliminate
us eating cows you'd think would be the goal. I think. Then what the fuck happens to the cows?
There's just an overpopulation of cows. I'm just curious how the...
I don't know how the ecosystem eventually works,
but we'll figure it out.
It's interesting, right?
Yeah, we'll figure it out.
You think we need to adopt a cow?
Do you think everybody, all of a sudden,
you just need to have cows as domestic animals?
I don't think so.
Because there are just too many?
I don't think so.
Interesting.
Those were the past five stories,
and I feel as though you needed to know them.
Thank you for your analysis
on the Beyond Meat third arm cow saga.
I really appreciate it.
And I think that's what we love here at the Morning Toast,
especially when you come.
It's the tangents, no no bounds.
Yeah, real tangent.
We're all going to have cows as pets.
You should start a podcast called Tangents with Ben.
Like, honestly, that's dead ass, such a good name.
Like, because that's what you do.
Like, you just go on crazy tangents.
Right, let's do it.
TNN.
Tangent News Network. Ooh, that's good. Okay, so we Great. Let's do it. TNN. Tangent News Network.
Ooh, that's good.
Okay, so we are going to dive into it.
I want to do a little TV recap,
just quickly talk about some shows that I watched yesterday.
But before I do,
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Okay, TV recap.
I'm not going to spoil Bridgerton for you because I know you're claiming that you're going to watch it,
even though I know you're not.
But it was just so good.
First of all, so aesthetically stunning.
It was 1800s London.
I know that's not what it looked like, but the colors and the homes and the dresses, it was just
stunning. Like, an absolutely gorgeous show.
That tree that they show at the beginning of
every episode is just sickening. I want to live in that fucking tree.
The cast was amazing. I love
that I didn't really know anyone. The woman
who played the queen was just everything of the sort.
And the woman who played Daphne Bridgerton
is Fira Fightley, and I need
to know how she's related to Keira Knightley, because
it was so crazy.
The show was,
had a little bit of everything,
like a little bit of soft core porn,
a little bit of drama,
a little bit of gossip girl,
a little bit of game of Thrones.
Like it was really a melting pot of,
of interesting things.
And I just thought it was very different from anything I've watched this year.
And I do feel like it lagged in the middle and I was almost like,
this is the show that's so hyped up,
but Oh my God,
the last two episodes were everything of the sort.
When lady whistle down was revealed, I was shook to the motherfucking corn close your ears
ben when daphne and simon finally worked it out i was like fuck yes you go you get that dick you
make that baby i'm happy for you because honestly like she almost had this miserable life with nigel
and then she finally ends up coincidentally married to a man that she fucking loves which
in that time period was v rare and i was so I was so happy for her. Also, I loved the Bridgerton family. Like they were,
they honestly reminded me of the Steens. Like they were very Steeny. Like I loved their mom.
She was like a good, smart woman who just like was trying her best without her husband. And I
just love that there were so many of them and they were just like so connected and everyone in town
was like, yes, the Bridgertons, like best family. Like I just, I loved the Bridgertons. I wanted to
be one of them. Now I did feel really bad for the Finkelsteins.
No,
what was there?
That's Jewish.
Finchel,
Finchelburg.
My ears hurt.
You can take your fingers out of your ears.
I just have to find Bridgerton.
What was the name of that family?
The Finch,
Fincherton.
Fincherton?
Was that what that was?
That doesn't sound like a name.
No,
Bridgerton family with an f like
it's annoying oh my god penelope was the queen hold on hold on rolls um featherington thank you
wait okay so featherington's like honestly i know they were supposed to be annoying. And like, they were giving me like Cinderella vibes, like with
Jennifer Coolidge and like all the stepsisters, but I actually like fell for them. And the mom,
like what they did to Ms. Thompson wasn't right, but I don't know. I'd like felt bad for them when
they were like banished from society. Like they got canceled in the 1800s. And like, I can relate
to that. It's just an amazing show. And if you haven't watched it, I really recommend it. And it's just great. Then the other thing, you don't
have to plug your ears for this, was The Real Housewives of Dallas premiered like last night,
but it also premiered on New Year's Eve, which I thought was so weird because they saw people
tweeting about it on New Year's Eve at like 11 o'clock. And I'm like, why are people tweeting
about Real Housewives of Dallas? Why would they put the premiere on New Year's Eve? Then they
premiered it again this week. So I didn't have to watch, but I thought it was excellent. First of all,
I think the show without Leigh-Anne has such a fresh and light attitude, and I just think it's
so great. And the new housewife is everything of the sort. She's so rich. And now I feel like
maybe, just maybe, Dallas might be the wealthiest, not to be mean, but
ever since they dropped Leanne, I think they might be tied with Beverly Hills for the wealthiest
franchise.
Everyone's houses, first of all, Tiffany's house is so fucking sickening.
Cameron's new house is so sickening.
Stephanie's house is so sickening.
It's just a great show.
I think it's going to be a great season.
Carrie Brittingham was kind of MIA from this episode, but I'm just very much show I think it's going to be a great season Carrie Brittingham was like kind of MIA from this episode
but I'm just very much looking forward to it all
it's a fabulous show
sorry Ben I know you're getting bored
let's dive into Dear Toasters
no I'm not getting bored
that was fine
Leanne is the one who left
that's like the crazy motherfucker
holy shit
she was just so nuts
I remember watching a bunch of episodes.
She was really.
What is the diarrhea coming out of this woman's mouth?
But in her defense, like she really put the show on her back for a while.
I'm like, I don't know if there would have been any or as much drama if she wasn't there.
So now it's our first season without her.
And I think it'll just be like a real testament to whether or not like she was as important to the storyline as I think she might have been.
No, they'll find something else.
Like these producers, you know what I mean?
They find stuff.
All right, next up.
This is Dear Toasters, our advice segment.
If you ever want to write in, deartoasters at gmail.com.
We would really appreciate the support.
Hello, my Queensteens.
Well, she was talking to me and Jackie.
I'm ready to murder my boyfriend.
We've been together for three years.
We live in a tiny apartment.
We both work from home and both have anxiety during COVID. Due to this time, we've spent a lot of time apart in the last nine months.
The long time apart when he goes to golf or every few weeks, wait, sorry. The long time apart being
when he goes to golf or every few weeks when I go to my office. My office is closed. I'm only
allowed in to mail things because I'm bored. Oh my God, this is like the most poorly written thing. Okay.
The long time apart being when he goes to golf or every few weeks when I go into my office.
My office is closed.
I'm only allowed in to mail things because I work in boring HR.
Golf season has ended and we are just home constantly.
I try to go out and do things, but it's annoying being the one that's constantly leaving.
He'll go for a 30 minute walk some days, but others ask me to go with him. Our apartment is small and we only have one TV.
As I'm typing this, I can hear him washing his hands in the bathroom. How do I not kill him?
How do I make it fun to be home? Please help me. I'm about to go to jail. I think Jackie or maybe Dana said this once before, but it's either you get engaged or you break up at one point in a
relationship. And we're at that mile marker. So please help us survive COVID.
I really do love him and I want to get engaged.
Love a steen that needs alone time and can't wait for January 26 to read
Girl With No Job, The Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster.
This is tough.
Honestly, like not to be a bitch, but like we can't relate
because we've been having so much fun in quarantine, like so in love.
Yeah, I do have my opinions there.
Do we know where she is from, where she is living?
So, like, not to be a bitch, but you read the exact same submission that I did, so, like, how would I know that?
Oh, it doesn't say, like, friend from New York?
No, no, no.
Okay.
My first thought would be you're working from home.
Again, I'm not going to assume where you live, but if possible, if at all, maybe right now you're in like a slightly nicer building.
You need a little more space, clearly.
So if at all possible, I would move.
Yeah.
Whether that is to a slightly worse area.
Again, it's tough not knowing where you live.
If you live in New York City, though, you should probably just move to Long Island City.
Or like Murray Hill.
Move somewhere else.
An area that has like tons of new apartments that are much bigger for cheaper because it's like a lesser area.
You need more space.
The second is if you can't get more space, you need a second TV.
Having one TV is not realistic.
The reason why me and you have had such a lovely quarantine is because for a couple hours a day, the reason why you were able to watch Bridgerton in full and I would never watched it is because you watched in the bedroom.
Yeah.
And I watched the NBA last night.
In the living room.
In the living room.
100%.
And I think that like even those bits of separation within your own home are incredibly important.
And I think cultivating a vibe and an experience in your own home is so important me and jackie talk about
this all the time in in lockdown and quarantine like your home can become a prison 100 and unless
you're like refreshing your space like every time you get out of bed like making the bed lighting
candles mood lighting if you're putting no effort into your space like it can really become a toxic
place very very quickly so i suggest like whenever i lay on the couch, like after I get up, I always fold a blanket,
refresh the pillows, put the remotes like clean and orderly, like blow out my candles. And then
I cultivate a new vibe when I start fresh in a few hours. You know what I mean? I think refreshing
your space is really important. Yep. Opening a window. Also, have you tried getting violently
drunk?
Yeah, that's good.
Or you could say something you don't mean.
No, but it's not that.
It's the one time that, so like when we were in like real hardcore quarantine, like no stores were open.
Like the city was a fucking ghost town.
Yeah.
And we got really, really, really drunk on my birthday Zoom.
Oh, yeah.
And we got really, really, really drunk on my birthday Zoom.
Oh, yeah. I woke up.
There's a feeling that you forget of waking up so disgustingly hungover that you don't want to leave your bed.
You just want to order a nice bagel with tuna fish and watch TV.
By the way.
That really does reset you.
I said that all the time during the hardcore lockdown in the city.
That being drunk is so great.
Because the morning when you're hungover, you actually don't mind being hungover the morning when you're hungover,
you actually don't mind being hungover
because when you're hungover,
all you want to do is lay in bed.
And in quarantine, you have no choice but to lay in bed.
Yep.
So not encouraging people to be alcoholics,
but I think that would be a nice idea.
Yeah.
Dear Claudia and Jackie, this is our next one.
Sorry, dear Ben and Claudia.
I shall start with the obligatory
thank you so much for saving me during quarantine spiel.
It has been a true gem to listen to all the episodes, new, old, and on Patreon throughout 2020.
Can't wait to read your book soon, too.
Pre-order now, girlthoroughjob.com slash book.
Let's get to the point.
I'm 30 years old, got married in October, and my husband and I decided it would be kind of us to host Christmas Eve dinner at our house for the holidays.
Whenever my mom hosts, it's always a shit show because she gets so stressed out, so we thought it'd be fun to have our family take the burden off of her.
We didn't want to cook, so we spent $600 on getting food catered and buying alcohol for everyone.
The evening was lovely, and we had tons of delicious enchiladas and fajitas left over that were uneaten.
She's from Texas.
Fast forward to the next day when we were all going to make lunch, and we realized our aunt had taken all of the food from the house.
Oh my god.
I shit you not, she packed up the catering containers without us noticing and took off like a bandit in the night. Needless to say, I was pissed. Leftovers are the best part of a big
meal like Thanksgiving or Christmas and she stole our food that we paid for. She's a grown ass adult
and I thought that behavior was acceptable. I was shook. My sister wanted me to text her and make a
snarky comment, but I took the high road because I felt like it would have been so awkward. What would you have
done in that situation? Sincerely,
Hostess with the Mostess. This
is an abomination.
What a
strange story.
Yeah. I mean, honestly, like, you're a queen
for taking the burden off your parents,
spending $600 on
food and alcohol for everyone, and
I just honestly, like, I think this is so disrespectful.
And honestly, she's giving ants a bad name.
No, I mean, at this point, you can't say anything.
No, it's too late.
In the moment, you could have made, like, a joke.
Like, did you really just, like, take the food?
No, you know what I would have done?
What?
Group chat everyone, being like, did anyone take leftovers?
I can't seem to find any catering.
Totally, that's a good one.
Group chat is the best way to be passive aggressive.
What a strange story.
Ben, is this something you would do as the aunt?
No.
I also hate leftovers.
No.
Okay.
First of all, I hate leftovers.
And I hate taking,
when people shove their leftovers on me in their house.
I'm like, I don't even like your food.
Get away.
Sorry, clarifying.
I like leftovers in my own house, especially like fajitas,
enchiladas. Those sound like amazing things for the next day. There's some things that
like don't really sit well, like a sushi platter, like throw that in the trash, but I'll never,
ever, ever, ever, ever leave your house with food that you cooked or flowers from your party,
or I will never leave
with anything from your house.
That's such a good call.
Even if it was delicious,
I don't want it.
Yes, that's literally
like an old Jewish woman
thing to do
is like to take the flowers
from a bar mitzvah
and like bring them home
for your foyer.
Totally.
I just like,
I'm so like clutter conscious.
Like I don't need more shit
in my fridge.
I don't need more vases.
Like please,
don't ever invite me
to your house
and send me home
with work to do. Yes, and, don't ever invite me to your house and send me home with work to do.
Yes, and also, this is a direct
message to Olivia. Your cooking
is delicious. I don't want
to take anything home! Olivia's always
trying to pawn her leftovers off on us. Do you not
want them? And you know what it is? It's like, all the really
good stuff gets eaten in full. So, like, the stuff that's
leftover is, like, the decent stuff. I don't want
that. No, I don't want it. Um, I'm really
excited because our third and final
Dear Toasters is an update from the toaster
whose boyfriend found,
wait, on the toaster with a boyfriend
who found her OnlyFans.
The toaster had an account for one day
and it was unclear how the boyfriend found out about it.
The girl like thought about doing it.
She did it for a day, took it down,
but then her boyfriend found out.
We like couldn't figure out like how he figured it out.
First of all, thanks for the amazing
advice. I've been in full spy mode trying to get
to the bottom of things. To add some context as
to why my friends and I jumped to say
spyware on my phone is because my best
friend has an ex who was stealing her SIM card out of her phone.
He was then putting it in his phone to read
her text messages. He also put a recording
device in her car to listen to all of her conversations.
Holy shit. I did a little
digging and found that an additional face ID has been set up on my phone. Holy shit. I did a little digging and found that an additional face ID has been
set up on my phone. Holy
shit. It was a brand new iPhone and I
had only set up my face so I was a little confused.
I realized that my boyfriend knew my original
password on my phone but I changed it when I
started the OnlyFans account. He must have already
added his face to the face ID on my phone
so that he was able to unlock my
phone even after the password had been changed.
I've been dreading talking to him about it because I know once the conversation about the violation of trust is had,
the end will be near.
We have a whole life together, and I know things will be messy,
but I can't continue on setting the precedent that lack of trust in the relationship is okay.
Should I just have the conversation and end things,
or do I give him a second chance if he tells me the truth?
End? What is wrong with it?
No, this is so crazy.
What do you mean this is this is like
i'm sorry i'm sorry no putting putting a extra face id on like that and by the way i'm snoopy
as fuck like i don't even know if you know like i'm going through your phone all the fucking time
and your computer i wouldn't that's fucking next level shit it's interesting that you said that
because i was about to say the opposite can you move your microphone in a little bit? Oh, yeah. We're doing a podcast. Is that better?
Yeah, much better.
I don't, I just like, you have to trust who you're with.
It's like, I, like, for one reason or another, I noticed the last couple of times you asked me to like grab your phone.
Your password has changed since it was launched.
Oh, my God.
Which is fine.
Yeah, it has.
But I'm sure that it changed.
When I left my phone in a taxi, I thought
my passcode was too easy.
I was going to say, I'm sure it changed for some
reason personal to you.
Yeah, when I left my phone in the Uber.
And it was the same thing with me. Mine got longer
one day because I was afraid that somebody was hacking
me. It's like, people
are not changing their passwords because
they're hiding something from you.
That being said, now that I'm thinking about it. She did change
her password because she was hiding something
from him. So actually,
you're giving him
reasons. I'm sorry. I'm backtracking a
fuck ton.
If you really like this guy,
you need to not
have a secret OnlyFans account.
It doesn't matter. You need to not have
a secret OnlyFans account and change the password on your phone It doesn't matter. You need to not have a secret OnlyFans account
and change the password
on your phone
because all that you're doing
is feeding his insecurities
and making him think
that what he's doing is valid.
If you want to start
an OnlyFans account,
I think that's something
that you have to agree
with your significant other.
It's a really great way
to make money
and maybe he won't
have a problem with it.
You also don't have to
get naked on OnlyFans.
People are using OnlyFans like you use Patreon.
For Patreon, 100%.
It's like the same thing.
So maybe she's just trying to create a side hustle, make some extra money.
No, it was definitely.
You just have to be transparent about stuff like that.
Yeah, no, I think the OnlyFans was created for sexy pics.
Oh, interesting.
Also, I just want to clarify, I just really only snooped through your stuff because I love you so much.
I just want to know what you're talking about.
I don't think you're doing anything.
Who's Ben talking to when he's not talking to me? No much. I just want to know what you're talking about. I don't think you're doing anything. Who's Ben talking to when he's not talking to me?
No one. I just want to put that out there. No one.
It's literally like your mom. Yeah, no one.
Queen. That's our show, you guys. Dear Toasters,
thank you so much for writing in. Deartoasters.gmail.com
is the email if you ever want to write in.
You can write in about anything. You can update us if we've
ever read your submission on air.
And we'll always keep it anonymous. Ben,
it has been an absolute pleasure having you here for the last two days.
I hope you've enjoyed your time.
And now I'm going to give you a few minutes to plug whatever you want to plug.
Where should people follow you?
If you're not following me, at BoyWithNoJob, at this point, I don't really know what you're
doing.
But you can follow me at BoyWithNoJob.
There really is nothing else to plug.
I mentioned this yesterday.
2021 is going to be a really big year.
Some really exciting stuff
is coming out. I don't want to necessarily
talk about it now, but I'll come back on the show
and I'll talk about it. Well, you are always
welcome here, within reason. Thank you, Mifilish.
I love you very much. Thank you for doing this. I love you more. Thanks for having me.
Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the Millennium
Morning Show, where we deliver the Fast Five stories that you need to know every
Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube,
please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available
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I bet a beautiful, stunning, and smart we are. We hope you
have an amazing day, you guys. We'll see you tomorrow for Thursday's
show. Bye!