The Toast - S4 Ep48: The Controversial Confrontation: Wednesday, March 17th, 2021

Episode Date: March 17, 2021

David Dobrik apologized in a new video after a woman accused a 2018 Vlog Squad member of rape (Insider) Emmanuel Acho Reveals the Sit-Down Between Michelle Young and Rachael Kirkconnell That... Never Aired (PEOPLE) From Nearly Dying to Healing from Sexual Assault: Everything Demi Lovato Shares in Her Docuseries (PEOPLE) Google's new Nest Hub is a smart display that tracks your sleep quality (Mashable) The Most Popular Dog Breeds of 2020 (American Kennel Club) Real Housewives of Dallas Recap Dear Toasters Advice Segment The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Morning Toast. Happy Wednesday, also known as Hump Day over here at the Morning Toast. Theo is obviously here. Jackie is here. Let the humping commence. Let the humping begin. Theo knew it was Hump Day. He got his hair cut. His nails did. He's looking so stunning for Hump Day. And it's just a beautiful, it's a beautiful way to celebrate. We've got McPlant in the back. I know, by the way. So I rewatched yesterday's episode. And usually I don't rewatch the episodes because it's just like a reminder, like you are ugly.
Starting point is 00:00:31 And that's just like hard for me because I work so hard on my self-esteem and rewatching one episode, kerplunk. Yeah. But with our new rug and the daylight saving, like fresh sun, the sun has moved and we have our McPlant. I thought that I would watch yesterday's episode and first of all we're hilarious and second of all the plant like really elevates our style we are working on getting another one behind jackie because i think because now i'm
Starting point is 00:00:54 jealous of your mcplant like remember when i had like a beautiful new york city view and you had smokestacks oh yeah you know this is what that's karma that's how I feel right now. I forgot about that. No, but like the karma was from the original sin of you taking the good side. Speaking of our old studio, it is worth mentioning, I was just on my time hop. Happy one year anniversary, Jackie. Today is the day we got evicted. Wow. Stressful, stressful times. But you know, everything happens because, you know, someone made it happen and kicked
Starting point is 00:01:22 you out. No. The phrase is everything happens for a reason. Yeah, I know. Which is like, sure, you can say that in it happen and kicked you out. No, the phrase is, everything happens for a reason. Yeah, I know, which is like, sure, you can say that in hindsight. Allegedly. Of course. But it was frustrating then, but we're so much happier where we're at now. I don't know how McPlant would have felt about, like, that old stifling environment.
Starting point is 00:01:38 So stifling. But I'm glad that all of us are here. We have four living organisms on the show. A lot of our guests are take not guests a lot of our listeners are taking bets on how long the plant stays alive um and so we would just love any insight I've never had a McPlant before like I'm not I've had fake plants I've never had a real one so all it's by the window their sun all help would be appreciated yeah we just have to water it and like every day. Yeah and I believe it comes with instructions because Bloomscape is just on their stuff like Bloomscape was made for us like we're
Starting point is 00:02:09 not McPlant experts but we want to be. This episode is not sponsored by McPlant but the plant is. This episode is not sponsored by McPlant you're saying. You know what I mean yeah by Bloomscape but it is from Bloomscape which is one of our new sponsors so if you're looking for a plant a McPlant you should go get one. They have all different kinds of plants um before we dive in because we have a busy show for you guys today Jackie and I just wanted to take a moment and talk about what happened yesterday just sending our love to our Asian American toasters in the Asian American community here in America what happened in Atlanta yesterday was so disgraceful and so disgusting and it's just upsetting so upsetting and it's coming off the heels this is
Starting point is 00:02:43 like you know the the 10th thing I've heard in the last week about attacks on the Asian community and it's really really scary and so we just wanted to send love to our Asian American toasters and just acknowledge how atrocious and painful the events of yesterday was yeah were excuse me I agree our hearts are with you and we're thinking of you yes but here at at the Morning Toast we aim to bring positivity. We do. And that's what we're going to try and do. We're going to try. We have the Fast Five stories you need to know. I feel as though you need to know them. Yes very. We have one story that I'm actually really excited to discuss. Okay. Like a shift in gears for us. Okay. And also we'll be recapping Real Housewives of Dallas. I caught up yesterday. I had you in the back of my mind saying
Starting point is 00:03:21 this is manufactured and I look forward to chatting. Yeah. I watched it last night as well. Meh. Yeah. I have a lot of thoughts. Okay. And I look forward to sharing them with the group. How was the rest of your day yesterday after you left here at the morning toast?
Starting point is 00:03:38 Oh, my God. The rest of my day was pretty good. I know. I know. We're sitting here like big jokes. Oh, sorry. Sorry. We have new merch dropping on Thursday, which we are wearing. And we just like, we're remiss, devastated, and heartbroken not to share it with you.
Starting point is 00:03:50 This is the beautiful, stunning, and smart collection. Claudia's wearing the sweatpants. I am wearing the crew neck sweatshirt. I have a lot to say about this collection. So just look at my sweatshirt and then hear me out. It's so beautiful, stunning, and smart. It's so beautiful, stunning, and smart. So the material on these, I feel like we need to let people know,
Starting point is 00:04:07 like it's a lot more lightweight than what we've done in the past. It's so comfortable. The sweatpants are so comfortable. So we will be dropping sweatpants and the matching sweatshirt, which is what we're wearing separately now. We have a crew neck. Crew neck. I love a crew neck.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Crew neck, mug, sticker. Phone case, which I have here. I know I maybe caught a crew knock. Crew knock, mug, sticker. Phone case, which I have here. I know I maybe caught a glimpse yesterday, but this is it. Comes in every phone imaginable, iPhone, Android, all the cases. It's also a really good case. It's very protective. It's the same kind of case we had for the How You Durn ones, which I love. And I just am obsessed with this bar mitzvah, like 90s.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Right. It's just like bringing me back. It's just such a positive vibe this um yeah this font and this color I'm loving wearing it I feel like it's brightening up like my whole look I feel like it's like brightening up my face you know when you wear a color that like yes elevates your look yeah so that's how I feel about this it's dropping on Thursday that's tomorrow oh my god that is tomorrow. Huh. Yeah. Look at that. So crew neck sweatpants long sleeve white shirt the sticker I already put on my computer. I'm obsessed and I have my morning toast and my beautiful stunning and smart sticker. So yeah it'll be at shop morningtoast.com tomorrow and just make sure to get it so you can be as beautiful stunning and
Starting point is 00:05:19 smart as we know you are. Also I'm wearing a size medium in this sweatshirt. Love to see it. I got a size medium in the sweatpants. And I will say I would recommend maybe sizing down because I think they're baggy, which I personally love. Me too. But they're a little bigger than what we've made in the past. I'm wearing XL in both and very pleased with my purchase. Okay, perfect.
Starting point is 00:05:40 That's good to know. Yeah. That is good to know. So that'll be tomorrow. And we'll keep, you know, we took some sickening photos and we'll keep posting those on our Instagram. So make sure you're following The Morning Toast on Instagram at The Morning Toast. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:50 And also at shopmorningtoast.com tomorrow we have tons of other merch up on the site. So get your merch. It's always a mood booster. Shout out to Lauren Elizabeth. It's always a good time to shopmorningtoast.com. It is. And it's never too late. Actually, sometimes things sell out.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Actually, no. A lot of the times it's too late. Making it too late. Because we're just like so in demand. Okay, yeah. So merch. What else? I didn't really do anything yesterday.
Starting point is 00:06:12 I watched The Real Housewives of Dallas and I ordered Chinese food and it was so good and I have no regrets about my meal. Oh, but I got hooked on Thin Stirs. Are you familiar with the Thin Stirs? I am and I can't believe that you are familiar. Those are like one of those snacks that like seem healthy, but aren't. It's like a Trader Joe's lie, you know? And they had them at my Duane Reade.
Starting point is 00:06:30 And I was like really, really hungry. And I knew like when I go to Duane Reade hungry, it's so dangerous. Because like I just buy everything. And I was trying to like just get like a light snack. And I know Olivia has Thinsters in her house, which means like they are kind of healthy. Because Olivia doesn't like have a lot of non-healthy things in her house it's like fake healthy yeah and so I bought it and I'm like oh they're gonna be like gross but like whatever they were so fucking good like oh my god I'm obsessed and I bought three bags and I ate half of one and then I came into the kitchen
Starting point is 00:06:57 all the rest were gone because Ben ate all of them wow yeah so that's what it's like living with Ben damn I had to eat or be eaten. I ordered the Smith last night. So delicious. And I've talked about those quarter pounder cookies before. And last night I just took a whole one down. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:13 So good. So, so good. But I also went to Live Method yesterday. Like they tortured me. Yeah. So you earned it. So I guess I did earn it. So I guess.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Without further ado. You think? We could jump right in. I have a lot to say about a lot of things. So we might as well get right into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast. You. Yes, you. Do you remember when we used to say that?
Starting point is 00:07:37 Yeah, sometimes we do. There's no. Oh, sorry. I just went right into it. Today's episode is brought to you by Proz. There's no one size fits all when it comes to shampoo and conditioner we need products that are suited for our unique needs and don't leave us disappointed and thanks to our personalized pros shampoo and conditioner
Starting point is 00:07:53 we've fallen in love with our hair again i need to talk i need to just go off about please go off sis because i recently got my customized shampoo conditioner and pre-shampoo mask which I've always just wanted something to like be more than just my shampoo and conditioner and you take so basic like right but with pros you take a quiz that is so in-depth it asks you about like your hair needs whether it's curly wavy straight how often you typically wash it does it get oily but they also ask you like where you live and all these environmental factors that you might not think about but do contribute to your hair it's such an in-depth quiz also you of course get to choose your own sense that by the end I was and when my shampoo and conditioner arrived I was like
Starting point is 00:08:32 I'm the only one who has a shampoo and conditioner it was made for me and isn't it fun to feel special it made me feel really special so pros knows that there's more to you than just your hair type pros has given over 1 million consultations with their in-depth hair quiz which is how we both got started. With their algorithm and over 50 billion formula combinations, Pros determined a unique
Starting point is 00:08:50 blend of ingredients to treat our exact concerns. If you're not 100% positive Pros is the best hair care you've had, they will take the products back no questions asked. It is a healthy hair regimen
Starting point is 00:09:01 with your name all over it, literally. Take your free in-depth hair quiz and get 15% off your first order today. Go to pros.com slash toast. That's P-R-O-S-E.com slash toast for your free in-depth hair quiz and 15% off. Again, that's pros.com slash toast and take our word for it. It's fabulous. It is so fabulous. Okay. Oh, I'm waiting for something. I'm up. Okay, here we go. First big story of the day sort of unfolded last night. David Dobrik apologized in a new video after a woman accused a 2018 vlog squad member of rape. So last night, David Dobrik
Starting point is 00:09:42 posted an apology to his YouTube channel where he addressed rape and sexual assault allegations against former and current members of his vlog squad crew. Dobrik, who is widely known for rarely addressing controversy, titled the video, which is two minutes and 30 seconds long, Let's Talk. And he turned off the comments and likes to dislikes ratio. Right. Let's talk. Silence. He said he wanted to address some conversations that have been going on online earlier in the day insider published an investigation that included allegations from a woman who said that she was raped during the filming of a 2018 vlog squad video that was posted on doberg's channel she said that she was given alcohol by vlog squad members and became
Starting point is 00:10:19 intoxicated intoxicated to the point of blacking out. Then she said she was involved in group sex with Domingos Zegliatis, Dirty Dom, Dirty Dom, that she could not consent to. Wow, I wouldn't have read that as dirty. I would have said dirt. Dirt. Yeah, no, he's so disgusting.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Like, he was the worst part of Vlog Squad, and, like, here's why, you know? Yeah. Also, in February, former Vlog Squad member Seth Francois spoke out and said that he was tricked into kissing Dobrik's right hand man Jason Nash in a 2017 video Seth said it was non-consensual and was sexual assault as he was under the illusion he would be kissing model and influencer Karina Kopf who would be wearing a mask rather than Nash a 45 year old man yeah so
Starting point is 00:11:03 I think we should start at the beginning because for the last year, first of all, David hasn't vlogged in a year, but there's been a lot of rumblings, mostly from Trisha Paytas and Ethan Klein, who have this podcast called Frenemies that's really, really popular. Trisha Paytas used to date Jason Nash, and they broke up, and ever since then,
Starting point is 00:11:17 she's been one of the few people on the internet talking about her experience being a part of the vlog squad and how it was so toxic. And for a while she was like kind of like shouting into a void on her podcast but she was like and I understand she she isn't always like the most reliable source because she has her own controversies and she was a part of the vlog so like I think for a while people just kind of disregarded what Trisha was saying but more people started to speak out in recent months kind of corroborating the type of environment that Trisha was describing amongst the members um first was Seth who it's actually I saw an episode of um Law and Order SVU that was
Starting point is 00:11:57 really similar to the situation like it happened in a frat house where what happened to Seth was like they blindfolded him it was like Corinna who's a member of the vlog squad who's like this gorgeous Instagram model um is gonna kiss you and it ended up being Jason who's 50 years old a man and kind of gross um that's just my opinion so and it reminded me of this Law and Order episode that I watched which is like it's like this assault gray area and it's like but but it is really really unethical um and so that story like kind of blew up and a couple of the vlog squad members because there's like 15 of them like they had made their own videos like addressing it like giving their own receipts kind of discrediting Seth um but it never became like a major news story but there has been like all this momentum
Starting point is 00:12:38 you know people talking chatter online about David Dobrik and now this Business Insider article was kind of the the big explosion to take the story like into the mainstream um and this girl who spoke up what she kind of what she alleges that Dom put on his stories they're always like filming with random people and they always like go to like colleges which it's like kind of weird now that like you think about it yeah um to like get like extras and like it's like scripted kind of but they play all these games and they just need like strangers that give away money um so he put on his instagram that like he needed girls and um the girl in the story whose pseudonym is hannah she um her friends are like we're like obsessed with the vlog squad and we're like let's go let's go they need extras and they were like dming with dom
Starting point is 00:13:21 being like we're coming we're coming and she didn't like know who any of these people were she didn't care but like she just wanted to be with her friends um and a bunch of members were there I think they said Jeff was there and Scott was there and they were like giving these underage girls alcohol and Trisha Paytas was there that night she spoke to Business Insider and she was like I left when they were all these guys were giving underage girls drinks because it just like felt really wrong to me um and then the girl woke up the next morning and her friend was like oh my god that threesome and she's like what like she didn't know have any idea what um her friend was talking about and she had asked at like months
Starting point is 00:13:54 and then there's a video they vlogged the whole night right and a few months later she sent Dom a text and was like this whole you know long thing very respectful just being like I feel so uncomfortable like I don't remember anything that happened I really feel like I was taken advantage of I don't want this video out there like can you please take it down yeah and they did yeah so I think people are not sharing the clip the clips of the video exist but people aren't sharing it out of respect for Hannah um but it's just like it's as as most things are it's very layered yes it is very layered and the pieces that I saw especially the text messages that she heartbreaking sent to Dom were heartbreaking like imagining from her perspective like she describes like waking up not knowing what happened
Starting point is 00:14:38 night before not being wearing clothes having thrown up in the house that she was in when she went home her friends having sort of like literally carried her out right and then on top of that trauma to there be a video about it and then for months later you have to reach out to the person who took advantage of you and ask them to take like the whole thing is is so traumatic and yeah um and she's really brave for speaking out because yeah for up until now like David Dobrik has been like beloved they say like he's the Jimmy Fallon of our generation yeah beloved so nobody wants to speak out against that like it's an uphill battle it's a losing game yeah um and so I think she's really brave and it just I'm not like when I when I heard the story I was like
Starting point is 00:15:24 surprised that it hit the mainstream. But like, I've just kind of been following this for so long. And even when you watch the videos, and I have been, like last year, I discovered the vlog squad and I was obsessed with the vlogs. But there always was this like underlying weirdness. Like the way they were like, just really inappropriate and like bullied each other. There was like this, you could, even from the videos not being there, like you could sense a toxicity.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Like it was subtle. And now these stories stories coming out like they don't surprise me at all but what does surprise me is the response from David because it was like so disappointing yeah I mean obviously it was short some of the quotes he said consent is something that's super important to me whether I'm shooting with a friend or I'm shooting with a stranger I make sure whatever video I'm putting out I have the approval from that person he said that he's no he no longer films with Dom he doesn't um like approve of that sort of choices he said with the Seth situation I am sorry to Seth I just want to make videos where everyone who's participating is enjoying and having a good time I missed the mark with that one and I'm really sorry I truly truly am okay so here's what I didn't like about
Starting point is 00:16:25 his video and when we talk about cancel culture like and I talked I talked about this a lot in the book like this is not cancel culture right and so this is this is what we're always saying here and this is like the point I really tried to drive home in my book is like because people are jamming me like are you gonna talk about David like he doesn't deserve to be canceled like he's so nice and there's just such a big difference here like and I feel like his response was a really shitty response for someone who had like tweets exposed like which is not a crime it's just like embarrassing and wrong and I don't feel like his response even matched even close to the level of what he's being accused of yeah and I just think like when we talk about cancel culture we really need as a society to
Starting point is 00:17:04 separate the people who had tweets exposed and the people who committed actual crimes. Because we are lumping these people into like a cancel culture category. And it's just not the same. Like one person had bad judgment and another person committed a crime. Yes, I agree. He also said that I've been really disappointed with some of my friends. And for that reason, I have separated from a lot of them. So he's like distancing himself from the people.
Starting point is 00:17:24 He's blaming it all on his friends right but also in the threesome video from what I understand and what I gleaned from um the article article or the parts that I read which the article is now not behind a paywall they took it off they put it on business insider prime which is okay good like get your coin but like don't profit off of someone's trauma that's true and also there was one there was that version which I don't subscribe to Business Insider so I didn't read but there was another version that was a lot of the story but it was a preview yeah but now they took it off behind off the paywall so apparently there was also podcast audio where they talked about this threesome night and there was people who were going in and watching it to make sure that it happened like right so like make sure Dom actually
Starting point is 00:18:02 had a threesome his friends had to to go check. David's on Travis, what's that, who used to date Madeline Petsch, who hosts Ghosted. Yes, I know who you're It's his podcast.
Starting point is 00:18:12 Okay. Is his name Travis Barker or is that like the drummer? I think that's Kourtney Kardashian's boyfriend. Okay, whatever. Travis Mills,
Starting point is 00:18:19 Travis Mills. David went on his podcast and they're like chronicling the night. David's like bragging like, yeah, Dom wanted to have a threesome. We found found some girls like we all had to go in and check and so he's there like filming the night check like it's just the more you hear about the story
Starting point is 00:18:31 the more disgusting it is yeah and so when we're talking about like cancel don't cancel no like this is the type of thing like cancel culture should be reserved for like not people who you know made a mistake like and said something wrong but the person who did something morally depraved yes and in these instances and I and of sexual assault there's there's the abuser and then there are the people who bystanders bystanders who watch it happen like cheer on like awful it's so it's to be one of those people like you are not exempt from guilt whatsoever no and it that's literally what the premise of promising young woman is and it's like this terrible thing happened at a medical school and like all the guys like who were in like the
Starting point is 00:19:18 friend group just like stood and filmed like it actually reminds me of it so much I forgot about that until right now um I agree like it's there's multiple people who are at fault here. Yes. Of course, Dom. Right. So having no longer filming with Dom and not being associated with him anymore. Like that's not, that's not. Enough.
Starting point is 00:19:38 No. No. And it's not lost on me how this video was two minutes and 30 seconds, which is incredibly short, was put on his views youtube channel which is brand new he has three youtube channels david dobrik which i think has like 16 million david dobrik 2 which i think has like 11 million and then this new one for his podcast she was on the smallest one he released it at midnight turned the comments off it was two minutes long like i just feel like you might as well have not even said anything like that's
Starting point is 00:20:02 fucking disrespectful yeah but i, I don't know. I feel like that was a choice, you know? Yeah, of course. Of course, yes, it was a choice, but extremely intentional. Like, that's his thing. To minimize. Is the short videos. I'm going to say something, and we're expected to move on from it.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Just the more I think about this story, like, I'm sick to my stomach. It's so upsetting. It's so upsetting. And especially now with what just happened in the UK with Sarah Everard and like women are just now speaking out about like how much women go through like just to like not get attacked. Like what we wear, what we think, how we walk, what we say. And so for this to come out while we're having these conversations and like women, especially
Starting point is 00:20:39 on TikTok, like it's a huge trend to share to this Andra Day song. And it's like so powerful to share like what I was wearing when I was assaulted um it's like we're having this conversation now and like this is what you're contributing yeah like this too many video like you said david dobrik is everywhere he's you know the biggest digital star period yeah and so knowing that so many people look up to him knowing that so many college kids so many people would really like would love to be in these videos and it just it's such an abuse of the position it's a hundred percent and it's really upsetting yeah and I just like I can't stress enough like how this is not cancel culture no no and it was like because I got a bunch of dms like what are you gonna say on the toes and like
Starting point is 00:21:20 people love him and it's hard to deconstruct like someone you look up to as being not what they say they are not the vision of like the hero you imagine because he built a brand off of like giving away hundreds of thousands of dollars but like that doesn't mean you can create a toxic environment and do shit like this like but that's the image that is cemented of him in so many people's minds 100 and if we if our generation wants to be different from the generation older than us the Harvey Weinstein's you know right me too movement did so much to expose these people and then so we have new people coming up and and in that in different ways but extremely similar ways they're doing the same thing yeah abusing their power yeah 100% so it's so disappointing so disappointing
Starting point is 00:22:02 um so I'm curious to see, like, what happens next. Like, because at the end of the day, like, this is a full-blown crime and multiple people are guilty. Like, is there going to be, like, a police, like, there's a business insider investigation. Is there a police investigation? Where do we go from here? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:18 I'm not entirely sure, but we'll keep you abreast. Abreast. Okay, ready for our next story? Yes. Emmanuel Acho is revealing the sit-down between Michelle and Rachel Kirkconnell that never aired. Okay, I saw this video on Emmanuel's Instagram where he talked about his favorite conversation from the evening
Starting point is 00:22:37 that was one in which we did not know even happened. It did not even a sliver of it make air. It was a conversation that took place between frontrunners Michelle Young and Rachel Kirkconnell. It did not even a sliver of it make air. to despair over her loss of a former friend and Rachel based upon the photos that surfaced. Now, Michelle had reached out to Rachel but had never heard back. And so Michelle was broken over that. I sensed that over the course of our conversation. So during that next commercial break, I called an audible. I reached out to the producers via my mic and said, hey, we have to get Michelle and Rachel to somehow reconcile.
Starting point is 00:23:20 He said he recapped sort of the conversation that they had and said that it ended in a very uplifting sort of way where the two women do come back together. He said, it was a beautiful depiction that I got to witness. And for the sake of time, you all did not get to witness. I could just think of so many things I didn't need to see on that three-hour finale. And it's like, oh, we have time constraints now? Why are we at three hours?
Starting point is 00:23:43 Right. Oh, 100%. There was time. First of all, there's always time. And I feel like the choice not to air this conversation that sounds to me was a lot about healing. It's like, once again, The Bachelor just like is missing the mark on what they can be contributing. 100%.
Starting point is 00:23:59 You know, like it was definitely an impactful conversation that would have promoted healing. And especially in such a divisive time. And within a divisive time within the franchise. Like the franchise is literally imploding because the Chris Harrison stans and the Rachel Lindsay stans are at odds. And so that type of conversation could have been so healing, so unitingiting yeah whatever um could have united unifying whatever yeah thanks um and am i surprised that they didn't include it no am i disappointed yeah because like that's the message we should be sending like not more division people you know making mistakes forgiveness grace this word everyone grace grace grace grace like i would
Starting point is 00:24:42 have loved to seen that conversation especially because that's what we literally said yesterday we were like you know what michelle said about rachel was super nice and they are they were obviously friends when you live in a house for so long with someone and like where i just that was missing i do and i did feel like that piece of like a lot of these girls do know rachel what was their relationship with her how do they how do they find out that happened and i think that that would have been a big piece of this puzzle. Yep. That would have made the special even better. And I love shady Emmanuel Acho putting it on his IGTV. Because if he didn't, no one would have ever known.
Starting point is 00:25:14 No. And also, I saw that Brie had posted that she was at After the Final Rose. They cut her. They cut her. She didn't get to be on Women Tell All. Apparently, she filmed for After the Final Rose. they cut her. They cut her. She didn't get to be on Women Tell All. Apparently she filmed for After the Final Rose and she wasn't on. This is just like the choppiest copy and paste season ever. But she was on Vile Files.
Starting point is 00:25:33 So if you want to hear from Brie, check it out. Yeah, she did a podcast with Nick. But still, like that's so bizarre. And it's like all these actually interesting things got cut. How did we end up with three hours of literal trash? No, two hours and 45 minutes of trash. some of the 15 minutes between Rachel and Matt was interesting yeah no two and a half hours I would say yeah but like this the message here is once again like Bachelor producers are so not in tune with what's necessary and with what is good yeah
Starting point is 00:26:01 okay are you ready for our next story yes ma'am. Demi Lovato is sharing everything in her new docuseries from nearly dying to healing from sexual assault. In the tell-all docuseries Demi Lovato Dancing with the Devil, which premiered at the South by Southwest Film Festival on Tuesday, viewers got an in-depth look at what really happened before, during, and after the singer's 2018 overdose. From a detailed timeline of that terrifying July night to the trauma she's faced throughout her life, here are some of the most revealing things that she shared in her documentary. She talked about her eating disorder, that it's a lifelong battle, but she's gotten much better.
Starting point is 00:26:41 She talked about dealing with bulimia and how she felt controlled when it came to what she ate and what she did for most of her career. The docu-series introduces key people in her life, including Jordan Jackson, her personal assistant, who made the 911 call the morning after her overdose. She talks about that night specifically and the events of the night and how she was sexually assaulted by the heroin dealer who then left her to die. Oh, my God. She talks about all of the health issues that she suffered. After the fact, she talks about how she can't drive anymore because her eyesight is impaired.
Starting point is 00:27:20 She said it's akin to seeing sunspots. Oh, my God. And all of the permanent damage from that night. That's crazy. I mean, I'm definitely going to watch a documentary. And I don't think Demi Lovato's ever had a problem opening up. She's always super honest. But when you watch something in the news, when we were reporting on that whole overdose,
Starting point is 00:27:40 you can't even imagine how much worse that it actually was than what we were hearing. Right. It's crazy. It's crazy to read some of what she shares. And I'm sure this documentary will be extremely powerful. And she has a new album coming out. And she has a song with Ariana Grande on it. Did you hear that?
Starting point is 00:27:57 Yes. Her album's called Dancing with the Devil, The Art of Starting Over. I saw that she has a song with Ari. I love that name. Yeah. She should also write a book by that title. Yeah. I do think that a documentary and a book, especially if you're the subject of your own documentary,
Starting point is 00:28:09 it's the same thing, just like a different medium. Yeah. And I'm sure one day she will write a book. And so it's a YouTube one, right? I think so. YouTube really nails the celebrity documentaries. Speaking of YouTube, something we didn't talk about, I'm wondering if you watch New Hailey Bieber series. YouTube channel no I didn't but I have been meaning to. Yeah though
Starting point is 00:28:28 who's in my bathroom. Yeah. Um she did with Kendall. Kendall's in her bathroom. Yeah I haven't seen it yet but I did see some clips on YouTube on TikTok going around like making fun of her because she was like this really solves the problem when like you want to do a face mask but your significant other like like she was just like talking about like a relatable problem that like literally doesn't exist and like the kids on tiktok were fucking roasting her they you can't get away with anything they're savage okay ready for our next story only if it's brought to you by nuts.com oh it is i'm loving nuts.com i know we have a whole thing here oh yeah we found an incredible website that you have to check out because nuts.com is the best
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Starting point is 00:29:41 these cashews that are coated in white chocolate truffle right that are so bomb they're so fire i i can't recommend highly enough if you're looking to up your snap game not nuts.com is a one-stop shop yeah and also like if you're having guests over and like you just want to do more than just like a crudite like it really elevates your entertaining it really does like you can get mixed nuts you can obviously get the roasted salted, the standard, but you can also get apple pie-flavored mixed nuts. Yeah. The simple and convenient way to have nutritious, delicious, healthy nuts,
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Starting point is 00:30:34 is a family-run business that takes pride in getting you the freshest products ever it is your one-stop shop plus they have gluten-free and vegan options so anyone can shop the delivery is super fast because most orders ship on the same day so if you want to check out nuts.com new nuts.com customers get free shipping on their first order when you text toast to 64 000 so text t-o-a-s-t to 64000 to get free shipping on your first order from nuts.com that's toast to 64 000 check it out you will not regret it like if there's one thing you could trust us on snacks it's so true okay next up is a little sleep news okay google's new nest hub is a smart display that tracks your sleep quality does google own nest like the regular nest does it i don't know i don't know it would be weird if they had
Starting point is 00:31:21 the same right product and name right so um nest hub has the same design and it's as its predecessor which i guess is nest period um it's a seven inch touchscreen display but it will track your sleep so but like use you don't have to wear anything like using your breathing and like moving patterns like these really small um where do you put it like i guess you would put on your nightstand it's google's latest smart home device and will be able to monitor your sleep patterns. That is not too innovative in and of itself, except that Google has figured out how to do it without a camera or any kind of wearable device.
Starting point is 00:31:52 The new Nest Hub comes with a function called sleep sensing that uses low energy radar to monitor the breathing movement and even the snores of the person sleeping next to the hub. The technology will learn your sleep patterns and provide personalized recommendations for how to get better shut-eye. Here's the thing. We live in this age of information, data, data. Also, I just want to add, before you talk about data, Google says the data it collects will not be used for ads.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Oh, famous last words. Heard that before. You know, I'm sleep talking in my sleep about nuts.com, and all of a sudden, targeted ads. No, or they're like, while you're sleeping and they know you're in a deep REM cycle, they start playing ads that like infiltrate your sleep. That's like Josie and the Pussycats. Yes.
Starting point is 00:32:32 I think that this is a level of intrusion with technology that I'm good without. But I also just like I'm the queen of sleep. Well, here's my thing. It's like we live in this age where like you can just know like your heart rate at any minute. And I just feel like certain data is none of my business. Like I sleep fine. Like I just, I don't know. I don't need to know that much. I don't need to know how many steps I took. I don't need to know my heart rate. Like I don't need to know how many hours I snored and like, what did I say in my sleep? Like some things are just not my business. Yeah, I agree. Like
Starting point is 00:33:01 humanity has gone on for so long without us knowing. The cavemen didn't know if their partner was sleep talking. Like, we're fine. No, or without, like, a tracking to track my breathing while I sleep. Usually on nights where I sleep badly, I can probably pinpoint why that is. Yeah, of course. I think this is a little extra. No, and there's definitely some people who are, like, obsessed with their data.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Like, Fitbit, Apple Watch, the whole thing. I will disagree with you on the steps part, even though like I- It's none of my business. It doesn't really change anything. And I also think there was some information that came out after Fitbit was so ubiquitous that it was actually causing weight gain
Starting point is 00:33:37 because people were attributing these steps to like calories burned more so than you were always burning those calories. And so people were like sort of using that as exercise when it wasn't no that wasn't new exercise that would have been me right so I agree with your your thesis but I do I do but I also do get sort of step crazy sometimes and then I like find myself like just wanting to hit these benchmarks but like for no reason yeah no and honestly like as someone who doesn't move a lot like I just don't need that kind of negative reinforcement like oh you only walked 500 steps today. Like that's
Starting point is 00:34:07 none of my business. But sometimes it's super interesting. Like, you know, on a day where you literally didn't leave your bed, like that shows. And then also sometimes when we used to go to like Coachella. Stagecoach. When we got lost at Stagecoach. And we got lost and then we would go home and we were like, oh my God, we did 20,000 steps. Yeah, no, it's like, okay, it's an interesting factoid, but like, I don't, I'm not one of those people who like, you know, their whole day like revolves around their Apple Watch, you know? Yes, I do. I do know that about you.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Okay. Our fifth and final story is from, I don't think I've ever read an article from this publication before. The American Kennel brand is sharing the most popular dog breeds of 2020. Oh my God, tell me Cavaliers are on there. I didn't even... I did a quick scroll, and I didn't even see it. Like, I...
Starting point is 00:34:49 I thought we were influential. Number one, and this is the same as it's been, Labradors. Which one's that? The big labs, you know. Golden Retriever. Yeah, like... No, they're different. Like Archie, Shannon, Bedore's dog.
Starting point is 00:35:04 No, that's a Golden Retriever. Isn't that a lab? Is there a picture? No, it's just a list. Comeie, Shannon, Bedore's dog. No, that's a golden retriever. Isn't that a lab? Is there a picture? No, it's just a list. Come on, we know what a lab is. I think you can have a golden lab. A yellow lab? I'm just going to look it up really quick.
Starting point is 00:35:15 A Labrador retriever. You know, it's like Air Bud. Right, no, that is a golden retriever. Okay, yes. So you don't know. Retrievers. Labrador retriever is what it's called yes oh yeah oh really these are the most popular also but golden retrievers are number four so
Starting point is 00:35:30 there is a difference golden retrievers are fucking cute but i do wish like golden retrievers there were some like a breed of golden retrievers that stayed the size that they are when they're puppies because they're so cute i would get one of those but i don't have enough space for an enormous dog yeah plus you've already got Theo. Okay. What's number two? Number two, French Bulldogs, which they're moving up the rank. Really? I feel like after what happened to Lady Gaga and like how valuable they are in the black
Starting point is 00:35:51 market, they would be moving down. Well, I think that what happened to her show that it shows that they're on like that they're so desirable. Yeah. But with desire comes danger. That's true. So maybe now they'll go down next year. This was 2020. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Number three, German Shepherds. Let me just double check that I know what they're all these dogs are the same to me. German Shepherd. Oh, oh, really? German Shepherds big. You know what? I need to stop talking about dog breeds in a negative light because we all remember what happened with Lily Reinhardt gate 2020. Yes. But don't worry, top 10, I think you're okay. Number four, Golden Retrievers. Number five, Bulldogs. Okay. Number six, Poodles. Oh. Number seven, Beagles.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Number eight, Rottweilers. Number nine, German Short-Haired Pointers. And number 10, the Dachshund. Ooh. And they just cracked top 10 for the first time, Dachshund. And I just want to say, like, I do think it's related to the show. To the toast, yeah. 100%.
Starting point is 00:36:49 I'm just going to keep my mouth shut because, obviously, I think some of those dog breeds are cuter than others, but I've learned not to mess with the dog breed community. People feel really passionate about their breed of choice. Of course. And that's how we feel about King Charles. Right, no, like, if I saw someone on a podcast saying, like, King Charles are ugly, I would literally come to their house.
Starting point is 00:37:05 I would literally not care. That's what. No, of course not. Because, yes, of course. I would just be like, I disagree. Yeah, no. Because we live in America where you can go on your podcast and say whatever you want.
Starting point is 00:37:19 And if someone doesn't like it, they can just leave. They don't have to announce that they're leaving. But they will. And BuzzFeed will write it up and spread lies about you and your family. Try to make you into a murderer in America. Yeah. Okay I just scrolled down all the way to 195 and I don't see King Charles Cavalier Spaniels. You know what? That's good, because, like, we're unique.
Starting point is 00:37:47 But, yes, but it also maybe means, like, maybe we're not that influential. No, I mean, that's been the cold, hard truth for a long time. Maybe I missed it, but I feel like I would see it. That's disgusting. I know. Fuck the American Kennel Society. Yeah. Dot com.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Though, interesting. I did think that was interesting. Yeah, no, that is. What was the number one? Golden Labrador? Labrador Retriever. Got it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:11 I guess it's just like, that's the reinforcement that I needed. Like, I'm so unique. Like, I really feel like I'm not like other girls, you know? No, I would say you're not like other girls. Definitely not. Okay. So let's dive into TV recap.
Starting point is 00:38:23 The Royal Housewives of Dallas Snoozefest 2021. Last night, okay, I just have something to say before we start. I feel bad for Tiffany because she's just like, obviously like a different type of girl, you know, which is not a crime, but she's like having trouble getting along with everyone because she's like kind of a wet blanket. Okay, I have a totally different perspective.
Starting point is 00:38:40 In the last two episodes, I really related to Tiffany. Like her wanting to be I don't think I'm so similar to her but I understood that feeling that she got when she jumped into the lake and was like this is not who I am I'm doing this for other people but like what about what I actually like or don't like to do and this is not one of those things to jump into a lake when you don't swim in your own clothes in your own clothes it's like you're really trying to make it work with this the group is very pushy yeah and she she hit her breaking point and I completely understood and related to that and even the like oh my god and when she started crying in her room and everyone
Starting point is 00:39:11 started coming in and I was literally like leave yeah just she just needed a minute alone maybe with one friend just to sort of vent but she and someone said like I think it was Stephanie she was like every day that we've been here like it's been something for like that we for her that we have just like sort of piled onto Tiffany and like she hit her breaking point and I feel like on those group trips I can a hundred percent relate to that then I also felt like with Tiffany by the end of her birthday party I I really started to feel like I understood who she is and it's funny because I think someone else said like we thought you were like so cool when you came in I feel like when she came in I thought that too where it's like she's almost too cool for these girls but it's actually the opposite where it's like she has a hard time fitting in
Starting point is 00:39:53 she's never really had great girlfriends and I really finally feel like I understand her and I really really like her I definitely feel like I understand her too she's not like I'm if I was in that group like I would be like a Deandra and a Carrie like I'm I too. She's not like, I'm, if I was in that group, like I would be like a D'Andra and a Carrie. Like I'm an insane pusher. I push people. I'm a drug pusher. You know, like that's just what I do. But I feel like I would be like a Cameron.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Where it's like, I have boundaries. And I know how, like wearing a bathing suit under my dress. But Cameron also struggled. Cameron, right. Cameron struggled in the beginning to set those boundaries. And I think that's important. It's like, I want to have fun with everyone. I want to get outside of my comfort zone.
Starting point is 00:40:24 But there are things that I won't do. And everyone needs to respect that. And now they do respect that's important. It's like, I want to have fun with everyone. I want to get outside of my comfort zone, but there are things that I won't do and everyone needs to respect that. And now they do respect that about Cameron. Yeah. Tiffany just needs to get there. She started with only boundaries, then she took away all the boundaries and she felt like not herself.
Starting point is 00:40:36 She'll find that middle ground. That medium. I completely agree. I think she's very similar to Cameron in a lot of ways because like a few seasons ago, Cameron never would have jumped in the lake, but now she like knows the group. She brought her bathing suit.
Starting point is 00:40:45 She's jumping in the lake. But the thing with Tiffany that I'm really struggling with is for a first season housewife, she's giving us a lot of like personal, like family stuff, work stuff. And I totally like empathize for the struggle of working moms. Like I'm not downplaying it at all,
Starting point is 00:41:01 but like on a reality show, like I really don't care. Okay. Well that's on the producers. I'm sure all of the women filmed equal amounts of time at home and they chose her storyline I'm gonna assume it's because it was more interesting than the others I guess you know I mean to me that even though it's like a lot of personal storyline from a um new housewife I think it's more interesting than Deandra like finding her brother oh sure um but I just like
Starting point is 00:41:23 but the thing is like we know De'Andra like I'm willing to put up with that because I've known D'Andra for years now but like with Tiffany with and we always say this like when a new housewife comes on and like you know gives us so much personal backstory like we don't care yet yeah we don't know you yes I agree but I wouldn't blame Tiffany for that I would blame the producers her birthday party looked really fun even though like it was not Moroccan theme aside from the fact that they were just sitting on pillows. But other than that, it was like a kid's birthday party with balloons and swings. It was, but she was so touched by it.
Starting point is 00:41:50 And I like, I really feel like this group of women are true friends when they're having like genuine moments. And for them, it's like, are we going to, it's not just like, we're going to be fine for the show. It's like, we're either going to be friends or we're not going to be real friends. Which is so much better because like when, when a franchise starts and like the women haven't seen each other since the reunion it's so stupid yeah so I I didn't agree with you that the drama was manufactured I know but I did feel like it was trivial no and also like pulling shit out of thin
Starting point is 00:42:18 air like like when Brandy like just randomly at dinner was like I'm uncomfortable around you like it was just like not real yes and but I also felt like um everyone did a really good job of being like Brandy that's on you yeah and like what are you talking about yes but and also like when Brandy like with the pills on the boat that's what that's exactly what I was referring to like what yeah we're reaching here but I don't think that's manufactured because Brandy's just like comes off really bad in those moments and Brandy's just like going through stuff, especially yesterday. Oh yeah. We need to talk about, there's a video.
Starting point is 00:42:47 I was going to post it on our Instagram, but then I'm like, that is just, I know they're like celebrities, but she's like, feels really disrespectful. I agree. Brian, someone caught a video of Brian in a club, like making out with a girl. Brian like making out with a woman who's clearly not Brandy as she has a whole arm of tattoos. Brandy looks different here. Yeah. It's really sad, but there's been rumors
Starting point is 00:43:05 about them for a while i know but there's difference between rumors and a video it's bad it's bad and she like just gave birth uh-huh but she oh right so it just made me really sad i know and we're not going to get clarity because she's made it pretty clear she's not coming back to the show which i think is best since there is so much going on in her personal life but it just leaves us wondering yeah it does maybe he'll address it at the reunion Andy yeah and I just want to say there's a difference between rumors and a video Teresa Giudice 100% rumors and photos um but I'm not caught up on Jersey so maybe I'll change your heart no you won't the only other thing that happened two other things that happened was and I'm not Christian so I can't like decide whether
Starting point is 00:43:43 um like being a shaman is demonic or and whatever but the Christian so I can't like decide whether um like being a shaman is demonic or and whatever but the only thing I didn't really like because like I grew up in a religious like setting and there's a way to like have discussions about religion without being condescending and you know if you grew up in a religious setting like you know that one girl in your grade who was just like so obnoxious like really you listen to music on Shabbos like shut the fuck up Sarah you know yeah um and I felt like Brandy was being like a little bit of a Sarah. Like you don't have to agree with D'Andra's choices but like don't be so condescending. Yeah I felt like her delivery and choice and time and place was all wrong. If that's a real conversation you want to have with D'Andra like not at a birthday party when
Starting point is 00:44:16 everybody's drinking. But she got all lit up after Mama D was like that's demonic. She felt validated in how she was feeling. She probably would have never said it, or I don't know. I don't think she would have said it if she didn't feel like, oh, how I feel about that. Mama D agrees, I'm going to bring it up. Well, we're actually going to get through to D'Andra. Yes, I agree. She was coming off as judgmental, and I think next week
Starting point is 00:44:37 when D'Andra calls her a cafeteria Christian, because it's like you just pick and choose what you want to live by, I think it will be an interesting conversation. But like for me, like when I signed on for the Real Housewives of Dallas, like that's the exact type of conversation I was looking for. Conversations between sisters in Christ.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Deandra, you're my sister in Christ. And like, I just feel like, you know, leaning on anything besides the word of God, like it's just demonic. Like that's what I'm fucking looking for. And I was like, yes, this conversation's everything. And even though the shaman was so weird, like the fact that the shaman does extensions, like was so stupid and when they were all like singing I
Starting point is 00:45:07 was literally chanting that the whole night afterwards I couldn't get it out of my head um and it was weird but like whatever works for Deandra works for Deandra like yeah I don't like when people are all like you know yucking other people's yums even though I do that all the time I totally totally agree and like to have to see Jennifer say like thank you so much for that this is the perfect day someone Someone was impacted by it. It's all about what you get out of it. You know, it's completely subjective. The episode ended in the weirdest way where basically like Deandra and her mom had this
Starting point is 00:45:33 huge blood fight because Deandra was just trying to like make a point to someone. She was like, mom, why did I change my name from Calloway to Simmons? And she was expecting her mom to say one thing, but her mom was like, because you knew Simmons would get you further. And that's probably true but I don't know if Deandra would have asked her mom on the spot for an answer if you know what I mean like yeah Simmons definitely does get you in the door like I don't know what Simmons means in Dallas but it means a lot even on this show it's like she's Deandra Simmons and that means a lot to the women whereas like if she is Deandra Calloway and
Starting point is 00:46:01 but her stepfather Simmons like it's just it's it's two degrees of separation right and I think the point she was trying to make was that like even though you know Glenn Simmons was her stepfather he was really a father to her like and so she wanted to be his kid and I think that's a point she was trying to make and then Mama D was like no because you wanted to get your foot in the door like yeah that was um really crazy I obviously didn't know that I never thought about it I didn't know she changed her name did you know that yes because I knew that her and her mom had the same last name but her mom's husband wasn't her biological father oh I never put it all together so that was like a whole and I guess then Cameron was explaining that's something that she feels
Starting point is 00:46:37 like insecure about in the community I feel that yeah I feel that and then her mom just like validated blew it up yes her mom of like the weirdest fucking relationship no I know it got so crazy and mama d like knows exactly what to do call an uber was so drunk they all were like and then when they sat on that swing like of course they were gonna fly backwards you really can't be having like conversations about like family family and even christ like when or you can it's just gonna be like extremely heated and emotional yeah um but all in all like it was a better episode I thought just the Austin episodes were really bad when like trip episodes should be the best yeah but I did think that the trip looked pretty fun gotta stay
Starting point is 00:47:14 at that house so sickening so sickening like I think we need a Lake Austin weekend yeah also Mama D talking about how she hunted stalked and pursued her husband was like that's the type of thing you just like keep to yourself uh-huh for sure but like she's she is so cool like you know what i mean and of course cameron being like i don't know if that's what we should be telling young women like it was just hysterical it really really was um and then tonight is jersey i had to catch up on all the jersey's really good oh you caught up yeah oh i caught up with brian we watched on vacation it was so good i mean it's i feel the same way every season like it's so good but i cannot watch one more minute of theresa judas
Starting point is 00:47:55 because i'm gonna throw my tv out the window yeah that's how i i've been feeling but i do believe that this week um tonight's episode everyone is finally in the same room. Okay. I will, I'll be caught up. We'll recap it tomorrow. Looking forward to it. Yes. And that is all she wrote.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Do we have dear toasters? Oh, fuck. Sorry. Yeah. Totally forgot. Dear Toasters is our weekly advice segment since it is Wednesday hump day. We are going to be doing Dear Toasters where you can write into deartoasters at gmail.com. Anything.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Anything you want to tell us. we will read it anonymously. We will change people's names. You have a quandary you need our advice on? Head over to deertoasters at gmail.com. First up, hi, Claudia and Jackie. My best friend recently turned me on to your podcast, and safe to say, I'm obsessed. I listen to you every day when I walk my dogs, and it's truly everything of the sort. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:48:43 I need your advice on something. I have a group of friends that I used to work with that I see a couple times a month for happy hours and brunches. We all went our separate ways work-wise but still remain a fun group of friends. We started a tradition a while back that for everyone's birthday we all pitch in and get the birthday girl a cute gift, a gift card, bottle of wine, something like that. Well they have not gotten me something two years in a row. Last year I was in California visiting my parents and brushed it off trying to be the bigger person and not be so greedy. This year rolls around and nothing.
Starting point is 00:49:09 I'm still trying not to be a greedy little bitch. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to make a big deal about it or sound like an asshole because I know they would feel so bad. Now we have someone's birthday coming up in the group and I don't know what to do. A part of me doesn't want to contribute because it kind of hurts my feelings that they have forgotten me two years in a row. But my better half is saying contribute because you're a good person who would give without expecting anything in return. I struggle with that though. Would love your advice on this one. Signed, The Birthday Snub. That's really tough. I think it's
Starting point is 00:49:35 important to give in general without expecting anything in return. But that's not what this is. Don't you dare contribute to that fund ever again. Really? That's how these things work. Yeah, but I feel like it could just be like a bad coincidence that two years in a row like she was away and then COVID like could it just be a coincidence that you got forgotten no well you're just you're gonna make a fight here and like then things are gonna be awkward so you have to be prepared to do that no I don't don't pay chip in for the group gift that's that's, you're being taken advantage of. If you want to get this girl a gift separately,
Starting point is 00:50:07 be like, I'm clearly out of the fund because I have been forgotten two years in a row. So this is my personal gift to you. No, that's, don't be like walked all over and forgotten. That's not like, I just was forgotten twice. Are you okay? No, that's like so messed up. It's like, I just, that's not how this works that's not
Starting point is 00:50:26 how any of this works by the way I like the idea of getting your own gift being like oh so I'm clearly not a part of this like trade anymore so I'm just gonna get my own gift yeah okay don't do it and but sometimes it's just like worth the price of admission just to pay so you don't have to make it awkward like I'm so controversy I'm so confrontation averse not controversy averse I'm actually very controversial-averse. I don't know. I think if two years in a row your friends forgot your birthday, you'd be knocking on controversy's door.
Starting point is 00:50:51 No. Contraband. Confrontation's door. Confrontation. Yeah, no. I was like, no, I definitely get, I get controversy a lot. I don't get confrontation a lot. Controversy knocks on your door.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Every day. Knock, knock. Go away. Okay. So good luck with that. Good morning, Steens. I'm in need of some dire advice. So I've been seeing this guy for about a month and a half.
Starting point is 00:51:17 We hang out all the time, get along really well, and I think it could be something really serious eventually. Key word is eventually. Today I was dropping him off at the airport. Oh, wow. As any non-girlfriend wannabe possible girlfriend would do. We hugged to say goodbye and I said love you. I said fucking love you. I wish I could verbalize the level of fear I saw in his eyes as he got out of the car. I tried to backtrack but I was fucked. Immediately when I drove away I texted him basically laughing at myself. To be fair I hadn't had my coffee yet. Have dropped off a ton of family and friends at the airport recently and truly like think it was
Starting point is 00:51:48 like a weird airport goodbye reflex you don't have to explain it that's something that would happen to me I say love you and I'm like making a reservation uh I used to say love you to my teachers like yeah let me be very clear I do not love him I'm still trying to figure out if I could even date him here's where I need your help what do I do now I think I totally scared the shit out of him and I don't want to mess this up because I really care about him. Here's where I need your help. What do I do now? I think I totally scared the shit out of him and I don't want to mess this up because I really care about him. Do I continue to just do my thing, never speak of it again, bring it up and try to explain myself or just move away and start my life over again? Sincerely, a girl who didn't have her coffee. I think you just communicate like be like I literally dropped my mom off at the airport
Starting point is 00:52:19 last week. It's just a reflex. I like you, but like we're not there yet. And it was a total accident. Yeah, I think you can communicate it to you I obviously the um temptation to like run away and start all over again is so tempting and you know what I would support you but like this is such a not big deal and I I feel like it's like a cute thing and I think you if he's if he's meant to be like he will laugh this off with you you know yeah no and by the way, can we just talk about for a second how embarrassing it is to like, say love you like at the wrong time, like to a waiter or like a teacher. It is so horrifying. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:55 So I would just like, next time you're talking on the phone, don't put anything like in writing because it can be translated wrong. FaceTiming, be like, by by the way I didn't mean it in any serious way. Like I. It was a reflex. It's a reflex. I say it to everyone like don't. Don't freak out. And just make it like light and casual. You're not that special. Yeah I just feel like relaxed. I say it to everyone. Yeah. I just have my plumber. My landlord. My boss. And you. And you. So you're just one of many John all right final one hi claudia and jackie please help i'm having major drama with my sister that i can't seem to resolve
Starting point is 00:53:31 my sister is my best friend she's about four years older than me but i'm doing a lot of things before her for example i graduated college at 22 and her at 28 i got my first job at 23 and her at 29 i've been in a long-term serious relationship for six years and her one and a half. I am recently engaged and will now be getting married in a year. Since this, things have gotten so weird between us. I am 26 and she is 30. My fiance and I openly talk about buying a house soon and having kids shortly after getting married. My sister is having a hard time being happy for me. She's my maid of honor and I feel like she doesn't want to be involved in my wedding. When I ask her for help with something she has excuses and whenever I talk
Starting point is 00:54:06 about anything wedding related she seems weird. I understand she might be bitter but I need her to be happy for me. We recently had a little argument that got out of hand and she proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't be getting married and that my fiance and I have a horrible relationship. Yes we argue and bicker here and there but just as any other couple does. I now feel like when I do have relationship problems or want to just vent, I can't go to my sister because she'll hold it over me or judge my relationship. How do I fix this? I can't control how my life is moving and I just want her to accept it.
Starting point is 00:54:34 Her time will come. That's tough. That's really tough. So I think there's a few things. Up until you said that she has issues with your fiancé, I mean, you got married before me you got married before Olivia like everything happens in its time and so I really can't relate to to just being upset about that part but if she is also having concerns about your fiance yeah then it
Starting point is 00:54:55 becomes tough you don't want to share everything but I do think but then it's like you have a hard time discerning are these genuine concerns or you're just like lashing out because like we're we're ahead of you right so I think that one it is important like and it's kind of shitty but like every time you have an issue with your significant other you can't keep going and telling the same person especially because it as humans we tend to only share the negatives and then when things are good it's like no news is good news and you don't share anything so she's like wait but all these things just happened and so it is hard that you sometimes like, when you're going through it, like, either maybe spread out how many people you're talking to about something,
Starting point is 00:55:30 or sometimes you just have to, like, deal with it internally. But I would maybe, like, take her to lunch and have, like, a big conversation. Sometimes in families, like, you just got to talk about something, get to the root of it, and maybe what she, her hesitations are something completely outside of both of these things. Right. And maybe you're perceiving it as like her being bitter. But maybe she's like actually A, like dealing with something on her own.
Starting point is 00:55:52 Like maybe she could use a sister to talk to about. Or maybe she has genuine concerns. Like I wouldn't just, I wouldn't assume so quick, even though she probably is like bitter. I wouldn't assume so quick that it's like she's 30 and you're 26 and she's good. And you're getting married. Therefore, she's like because it's not like a a sisterly thing no and also that's not even that big of a deal like she's 30 and she's also in a relationship like it it doesn't seem like that would be the whole thing um so I would just try and talk to her about it and also if it is like she has concerns about your fiance you need to show her, and if he's the man that's,
Starting point is 00:56:25 obviously listen to her concerns, but if you think that her concerns are unfounded, show her a different side of him. Maybe double date. Like show her what you see in him. And not just, you know, venting to her about all the fights he got into. But this is a relationship worth working on.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Worth salvaging, of course. So I wouldn't let it go, you know, unspoken for too long. And because those things fester. And then that's how you end up like, you know, 50 years old and haven't spoke to your sister in 10 years, you know, which is terrible. No, like you guys are stuck together for better or for worse as it should be. So figure it out. It'll be awkward.
Starting point is 00:56:58 But then like when you fight with your sisters, like it's awkward for a second and then you get over it. It's so true. So yeah, that was Dear Toasters. I feel like good advice was doled out more by Jackie, but deartoasters at gmail.com. You read them beautifully. Thank you so much. You chanted your Haftorah beautifully.
Starting point is 00:57:12 If you want good advice from Jackie and me to make jokes about you, email deartoasters at gmail.com. We are open to all sorts of queries. We are. And now. That's all she wrote. That's all she wrote. Thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the millennial morning show where we sorts of queries. We are. And now. That's all she wrote. That's all she wrote.
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Starting point is 00:57:51 Stay tuned. Set your alarms. We'll give you all the deets on our Instagram at TheMorningToast. And you know I'll follow up with some posts from Matt Jackie Ostrich, so you might want to follow her too. Yeah, Claude with no job will be participating as well. Yes. Have a great day, you guys.
Starting point is 00:58:01 Happy hump day. Don't forget to hump someone you love. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

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