The Toast - S4 Ep81: The Worst Shape of My Life: Tuesday, May 4th, 2021
Episode Date: May 4, 2021Bill and Melinda Gates are ending their marriage (CNN Business) Will Smith Says He's in the 'Worst Shape of My Life' (Billboard), Mark Wahlberg Shares Before and After Snaps of 20 Lb. Weight... Gain in 3 Weeks (PEOPLE) Adam Sandler has hilarious response to being turned away from IHOP (NY Post) Pink to Receive Icon Award at Billboard Music Awards: 'I Feel Humbled and Honored' (PEOPLE) NYC's bougiest restaurant, Eleven Madison Park, goes completely vegan (NY Post) The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Morning Toast. Happy Tuesday.
Hope everyone's having a fabulous, sickening day.
I mean, I wouldn't call it fabulous and sickening just yet. I really wouldn't.
I thought I was gonna start today on like such a great foot. Yesterday was
kind of a wash for me. I took the day off after the toast because my allergies
were bad and I'm just like, I'm gonna stay indoors and try and get better. And
so I was like, today is the day. but I already left my coffee at home I already forgot to put on deodorant oh my god that's so wait did you forget
to put on okay no but I've been I came on the show today with a story to tell about deodorant
because like oh my that is so crazy that is so crazy and I know why because I'm wearing a collared
shirt under my sweatshirt so I thought I would put it on like after I put on my clothes even
though like I never want to do that that's's crazy. You have to do it before your clothes under it's not going
to happen. Every time I do my makeup I then go to the bathroom and wash my hands because I always
get foundation on my hands and then I do deodorant before I get dressed but yesterday so I put on
deodorant in the morning and then I left my house at five o'clock to pay a shiva call and thank god
the shiva call was outside because of COVID but like I'm sitting at the shiva call and I'm like
I think I smell and then I'm like I mean I guess I didn't put on deodorant like since this morning and it was like
six o'clock but also I ran out of deodorant and I told you I've been using like one of Ben's old
ones that like definitely doesn't even work anymore I only use Zach's deodorant like I think
that men's it is far superior 100% not this particular one that's like roll on from actually
seven years ago so I'm like I was so I immediately got so
embarrassed and like I was like you have to like hug everyone I was like clenching my armpits it
is the worst feeling in the world yeah it is so that's me today plus no coffee even though you're
now the coffee queen so yeah I just couldn't really relate to your struggle of not having a
coffee you also don't have a coffee you have a milkshake okay excuse me this is a latte with an
espresso shot that is coffee it just happens to look have a milkshake. Okay, excuse me. This is a latte with an espresso shot.
That is coffee.
It just happens to look like a milkshake because of the sweet cream cold foam.
You have a coffee-
But I assure you-
You have a coffee-flavored milkshake.
No, I have a grande ice blonde latte with white mocha and sweet cream cold foam that
I got from Starbucks that is in the newest installation on my TikTok series.
Make sure to head over to Girl With No Job on TikTok to check out my progress because today is, look, I never even drink more than a few sips if I don't like
it, but I would say I'm 35% there. Yeah. Maybe more. So is this the one? See, the thing is,
is that it could be the one, but what I'm really struggling with is like, of course,
all the drinks that I've ended up liking, which is basically this and an iced caramel macchiato are like 300 calories and that's not really the point of the coffee like
the point of the coffee is just to like you know 100 calories shit and you shit it out an hour
later like but I do have to say for those asking on the journey update from my bowels like we are
moving things are moving and grooving and honestly like I might just keep up this
series till the end of time so I can be consistently moving my bowels.
So let me ask you something.
If you are interested in a coffee that's not...
So I...
Let me ask you.
Would you give a fuck what kind of pants and sentiment bitch you...
If you're looking for coffee that's coffee and not milkshake, 300 calories, why do you even entertain these orders?
Because this sounds like a real coffee.
That does not look like a real coffee.
Okay, did I know the color of it before I ordered it?
Does this not sound like a real coffee?
Uh, iced blonde latte?
A latte is a coffee.
Is a lot of milk.
Oh, it is?
Mm-hmm.
That's why it's so good.
And then you also have cold cream on top of it?
Vanilla sweet cream cold foam.
That's basically just frothed milk, no?
Vanilla sweet cream cold foam.
So there's two milks, the milk and the sweet cream cold foam?
Anything that's sweet cream is just not going to be good for you.
But it's good for my soul.
You didn't say you were looking for a drink that was good for your soul.
Then just go back to your caramel macchiato. just want to be like you know like one of these
girls like sloshing around you don't want to slush around with that like that is so not respectable
looking oh fuck but it's so good yeah i'm sure it's delicious but go get a vanilla bean you want
a sip no try it it's so good no i'm like off sugar and stuff like that'll just spike all my glucose
levels oh my god you are literally a grandma.
Like if anything, you were a grandma before.
This journey you went on really made you into a full-blown senile.
Well, you know what?
They know what's good.
Yeah.
The older folk.
A hundred percent.
I can't wait to age gracefully.
God willing.
Knock on wood.
Not if you keep drinking those.
That's all I'll say.
Oh my God.
You did not just shame me.
Oh, big time.
Big time.
Especially because you say you want one thing and then you show up with that every day.
Have you met me?
Like, I say one thing and I do the other.
Like, that's literally who I am.
I'm here to keep you on track.
You said you want a coffee?
Fucking order a cold brew.
Sprinkle in.
You can put as much skim, almond, soy, oat milk as you want.
I can't put in half and half? You can put in half and half, but then soy, oat milk as you want. I can't put in half and half?
You can put in half and half, but then it's like a little bit less than the others.
Yeah, I don't really like your journey.
I'm going to stick on mine because it's so great.
You said you wanted.
I said what I said.
Yeah.
And I did what I did.
And then go for some like sugar-free pumps.
That'll get your bowels moving.
The thing is, is that this is like a personal journey.
I don't tell you how to do your.
No, it's literally not.
You're taking suggestions.
No, no, not from you.
I don't.
I didn't tell you how to go on your pridgin journey.
I think maybe you should just like butt out of this.
You did try to tell me.
I'm here to support you.
And sometimes support looks like tough love.
You know what?
I guess this is.
I wasn't all that supportive of your wellness journey in the beginning.
And this now I know what it feels like.
Right.
It doesn't feel good.
You know what else doesn't feel good?
This day last year.
Right.
If you know, you know.
I don't really feel like getting into it.
I just, um.
No, but to me, it's not this day last year.
It's, um, it was just like Zach's birthday last year.
Yeah.
So we already, we already.
We already passed it.
Passed it.
Yeah, but, uh, real toasters now.
RTK. RTK is one year old. Yeah. Because that's where it came from, right? Yeah, yeah but uh real toasters know rtk rtk is one year old yeah because
that's where it came from right yeah yeah because real toasters knew that like we literally did
nothing wrong and ashley jessica wasn't even a real person let alone a nurse sorry ashley jessica
rn yeah um i want to talk about bethany's new show because first of all you have to watch it like it was a journey for me you know I'm a huge Bethany fan
and the first episode like the first like 20 minutes I was like wow I see what other people
see when they don't like Bethany like she was coming off so like unlikable and basically the
premise of the show it's like the apprentice she's looking for her new chief brand officer
the truckers for Bethany have arrived um she's looking for her new chief brand officer. The truckers for Bethany have arrived. She's looking for her new chief brand officer.
So they cast like 10 people who they thought were qualified to compete in different tasks,
et cetera, et cetera.
Sounds like a good premise.
Literally, she gets to like the initial cocktail party and she fires half the people.
Like it's so stupid.
Sorry, spoiler alert.
And then it's like the people that we're left with.
It's like, oh my God're left with it's like oh my
god who did the casting on this show like none of them are qualified like for this if this is a real
job that exists of skinny girl brand like that's a huge brand like that's a huge job and they
literally have like influencers and like this girl was like I started my own sock company like it's
it was just like these people were in no way qualified. If you, ideally, the person for the shop, like, needs an MBA.
Yeah.
It's, like, a really serious job.
This person was an event planner.
Oh, I do brand.
And, like, Bethany was, like, she was, like, this girl was, like, I help, you know, celebrities
and influencers build their brands.
And Bethany was, like, how?
And she's, like, I get it done.
And Bethany was, like, well, like, how?
Like, what do you do step by step?
She's, like, well, we sit down, and they tell me what they need, and I get it done. And thatany was like well like how like what do you do step by step she's like well we sit down and they tell me what they need and i get it done and that girl got sent home good
yeah like but even the people that we were left with like they're so twisted like they're just
not qualified in any way and after the first episode i was like wow this is like actual
trash reality tv they only released for the first two episodes but then the second episode like
it's kind of an amazing show like it's so bad but it's
so good and I was left wanting more like I couldn't believe I have to wait like another week to get
two more episodes in and another week to get the finale like it's so good but there are a lot of
really weird things about the show and I think the show actually does a bad job of representing
Bethany's brand and let me explain she basically says you know, the brand really lacks social media,
like marketing.
They're not great at that.
And that's what they need.
That's what Bethany needs.
And it's like.
So you need a social media manager
that's still not a chief brand officer.
The first talent was they had like
the chief brand officers
like making Instagram stories,
pretending they're influencers,
like promoting each product.
But that's not the job of a chief brand officer.
And it was so cringy to watch.
It was like actually painful.
But it makes the brand look bad because like bethany literally pulls out like this big
ass piece of like paper with all of her different brands like the podcast like all of the bethany
isms and it's like this is a hundred million dollar brand it's a piece of paper like she
just looks so disorganized and then like the people like who are her confidants like her it's
her assistant her brand manager and then two of her financial
managers which is like you have a personal financial manager it was just like making no
sense it looked like her company was like so messy and unstructured and like even like the
like all the products they were just like all over the place like bethany had them like test
out different products and one of the things was a coffee syrup like basically like my white mocha
and it didn't say coffee syrup on the label,
so everyone thought it was alcohol.
They were taking shots of it.
Like, it just made her brand look so, like, tacky and, like, messy.
And it was really, like, weird.
And then it also made Bethany look so weird,
because, like, the first episode was filmed
at, like, one of her investment properties in Greenwich.
And it was just, like, this turnt-ass house in Connecticut,
in the suburbs.
And I was like, why are they filming a TV show here?
It was so weird. So it kind of made Bethany's brand look like kind of illegitimate like it
gave me like a really weird vibe that is really weird and but I did learn a lot because she was
like you know the alcohol sold whatever but I own a hundred percent of the consumer brands like they
have salad dressing the popcorn love the popcorn she said that the biggest um category for her
guests like popcorn no you know like all the things that she makes,
like she has the jeans on HSN.
So like food would be a category.
Jeans would be a category.
Shapewear.
Did you even know she had shapewear?
No.
No, and that's her biggest category.
So I just felt like really,
I left the episodes
like feeling really confused
by her brand.
Yeah.
Because it's not even
about alcohol anymore.
And I also like,
if I was her
chief brand officer I kept thinking I would be the most amazing contestant like the social media
video easy like and then she just wants someone who's like very straight up with her and all these
people are like so afraid of her I would literally be like Bethany like you have got to evolve like
the the logo like we need to change it up also like I might recommend like a rebrand like in
2021 I don't know if we're saying the word skinny anymore like I just I think like the brand is a little dated and that's really what I took away from
the show, which I don't think was the point.
The takeaway.
The point was like, Bethany's this boss, boss, boss.
I don't know.
She came off kind of in a way, like she's talking to the assistants and she's like,
I'm so detail oriented.
Sorry, I have to get up.
Cause the centerpiece was like off centered in the table.
It was just so performative.
It was so like, she was bothering me a lot, but like her life is like fabulous like her outfits were great that's what
we wanted when we were watching her on her last season of brony which was that we just want bethany
in her business i feel like her business is extremely legitimate i'm sure they had to find
holes in it in order for the show to work like we need someone to come in and fix all these things
but still that's not a good takeaway.
The funny thing is that was that the whole like one of my biggest takeaways was that
the brand is like kind of dated in the sense that they don't have their social media down.
And it's like, no, you're 100% right.
I've seen no marketing for the show.
Like I only saw because somebody posted about it in the Toasters group.
I even seen it on Bethany's Instagram.
Like where's the promo for this HBO Max show?
I don't know.
I guess the chief brand officer that she ended up hiring did not do a good job.
That's really interesting.
If there's a season two,
I think that you should go on it.
By the way, I agree.
I swear I would be so good.
It's like you could do
all these challenges,
but like a chief brand,
then they're not looking
for a chief brand officer.
Because I'm not qualified.
They're looking for
a social media manager.
Yeah, so it's just really unclear.
And then the second episode,
their challenge was to
photo direct a photo shoot.
Also not what a chief brand officer does.
Like that's what you hire a director for, for a photo shoot.
Like it was just so messy and all over the place.
But this girl, Nicole, who's like the villain is literally putting the show on her back.
Like you hate her, but I can't imagine like last night.
Well, not last night.
The second episode was so good because this girl lost her fucking mind.
And like Bethany was actually very cool, calm and collected, even though this girl
was hella disrespectful.
But like she's everything, but she's also nothing. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Okay. Well, you know what? I think you've influenced me to watch.
I'm telling you it's good. And I was watching with TPG and we were like calling each other every five minutes. We were like, this is so, it's so good.
That is so hysterical. Okay. I'm going to watch. I turned my TV on again yesterday. I caught up on
Real Housewives of Dallas. Like I'm back watching TV.
Tonight is part one of the reunion, correct?
Yes.
And Roni premiere.
Roni premiere.
I'm really excited.
Real Housewives of New York.
I like, I'm excited.
I just don't feel like they've shaken up the cast
like enough after losing Tinsley and Dorinda.
Even though I didn't really like love both of them.
Like they both added value
in whatever twisted way that it was.
So I'm like nervous actually.
It still feels like a small cast.
Did you know that Leah Mob is converting to Judaism?
I found that out yesterday on her Instagram story.
Oh my God.
I'm so excited for her.
I know.
I wonder what the impetus is.
Me too.
A lot of times if you convert,
it's because like you met someone who's Jewish.
Yeah.
But I don't think she's dating anyone.
But maybe she is.
She actually is very interesting.
Like I'm excited to tune in for anyone. But maybe she is. She actually is very interesting. Like I'm excited
to tune in for her.
I hope she moved apartments.
Yes.
So what else?
Like what's going on with you?
Nothing.
Just, you know,
catching up with Brew.
Like we have so much
like lost time
to make up for.
So we're just trying
like bonding,
spending time together.
Isn't it like emotional?
It is emotional.
We were reading last night.
He was just being, like, so sweet and cute.
What was he reading?
He was reading...
The Cat in the Hat?
He was reading Theo's book, Dr. Fitzgibbon, Without Borders.
And he said it was fantastic.
Has he read...
Girls on Job?
My book?
Of course.
Oh, okay, okay.
Of course.
And he was reading the sequel.
He got an advanced copy.
I can't believe I actually haven't, like, promoted my book in a while, even though I did yesterday very briefly. But I don't know if you guys know, I wrote a book. It's on Amazon. Literally, okay, okay. Of course, and he was reading the sequel. He got an advance copy. I can't believe I actually haven't promoted my book in a while,
even though I did yesterday very briefly.
But I don't know if you guys know, I wrote a book.
It's on Amazon, literally anywhere you buy books.
It was a New York Times bestseller.
I feel like once I became a bestseller, I stopped talking about it.
I suddenly got coy, but I'm done doing that.
I'm a New York Times bestseller, USA Today bestseller,
Wall Street Journal bestseller,
kind of like all of the bestsellers in America and Canada.
And the number two overall redheads
pick which is honestly might be my greatest accomplishment yet because we picked some
really serious books and it's all genre it's not just like all celebrity memoir or all non-fiction
like I really kind of like went up against and I didn't even expect to make it past the first
round and then you came to me I wasn't really paying attention and you were like because I
just didn't want to like have my feelings hurt and I was like great I got out in the first round and then you were like you
made it to the semi-final finals and honestly that was enough for me yeah you know dying you
number two and number 12 don't forget it and like honestly the reviews like keep coming in and
what's the latest everyone is just like not to be so obnoxious like they're obsessed like it's so
good like and I knew it's so good. And I always think everything I do,
like is like my farts are like next level genius.
Yes, so good.
But like dead ass,
like this book,
not to compare it to my farts,
is just like kind of like a sickening tale of two titties.
And I think that if you haven't read it yet,
you should get it on Kindle or on audiobook
or literally anywhere you can buy books.
Especially since summer is here pretty much.
And this is a beach read. People are saying it's the book of the summer it's the book of the season
yeah and I'm the diamond of the season you're the diamond of the season this is the book of the
season if you find yourself on a beach soon this falls under the beach read category it does and
honestly even if you don't like to read like the cover is kind of sickening and Olivia has it I
have like a million in my um like in one of my cabinets it's decor like yeah and then like if you're like taking
a picture on the beach like the it's a little pop of color if you know you're just sunbathing and
someone walks by and they're like oh bathtub like oh my god girl's no job like it's just a great
conversation starter it's also just a great way to find toasters in the wild it's like a magnet
for toaster energy hundred percent and if you use Jackie O'Flau on your pictures, like it's guaranteed
the flow plus like
the millennial pink cover.
Double the likes.
Guaranteed.
Double the likes.
Have you watched
the new season of Younger yet?
No.
Is it out?
It's out.
Six episodes on Hulu.
They all came out together?
I don't know.
They did like a weird release.
Taylor Strecker was explaining it to me
because you know
she hosts the after show.
They released four on Paramount Plus
like as a Paramount Plus
hoopla thing. And i went to go subscribe and it was literally ten dollars
and everyone was like the interface sucks so i decided against it but then i found out it's on
hulu and now they've been releasing them weekly and they're up to the sixth episode it's so good
like liza is the worst and like that's what makes it so good because like honestly she's just like
going through it right now and i'm just like living for it oh yeah Debbie Mazar has a more developed role like
good and so does Lauren I didn't finish last season I don't think it's really it's honestly
I just remember like Charles and Liza were together and then like all the problems started
you know of course like they can't just ever like let us live and be happy so I was just like
turned it off plus since I watched the bold type and it's literally the same show, I was in Bold Type mode and I felt traitorous.
It's the same type of show.
Maybe I should watch Bold Type.
Like I'm really craving more younger.
You would love, hate Bold Type.
No, like.
I hate being frustrated watching a TV show.
It's so conflicting.
There's so much to love and there's so much to hate.
I think you should watch it.
I think it would like, I think you would be really invested.
I just love like, you know, shows about like fake workplaces like no it's it is that like nobody
ever looks ugly or tired and it's like they're all just magically fulfilled by their jobs and
they had time to like get breakfast before work yeah and then walk to work oh and get a lot of
coffees and then like also meet up with the guy that they're talking to and like return his
sweatshirt like people don't get tired they do not get tired they wake up at 5 a.m and they go
to sleep at 2 a.m and they're so fulfilled they're so fulfilled but you should watch younger
okay and i'll watch them all type what what what is it on hulu oh yes it's on hulu no younger so
good and it's also the final season so now it's like basically like aiden and big you know it's
like a whole thing like charles and liza period i of course literally can't understand or
relate to people who think there are people liza and josh people think like that's what's going to
happen in the end taylor strecker would not tell me what happened but there's a lot of people who
think like she ends up with josh like he was the otp all along no way no charles was the actually
though now like seeing how monstrous liza is her and josh are perfect for each other charles
actually like the fact that charles is slumming it with Liza is, like, so, it's
so upsetting because, like, Charles, like, he should just, I don't want to spoil it,
but, like, it's just not the right fit.
Okay.
Talk about two people who, like, are not compatible.
Okay.
Wow.
Plot twist.
I went, and, you know, I'm such, like, a, I always go for, like, the traditional, I'm
such a big girly.
You know, I love dating.
And what's going on with Daphne Bridgerton oh she's like not really there there's just like a lot a lot of weird things going on I guess because of COVID Daphne Bridgerton
like literally is irrelevant Diana literally my favorite character is not in this season
not watchable then no I know but then I guess like Lauren kind of gets her airtime and Lauren
is really like the star of the show.
Like I'm dead serious.
Like she's just, each season she gets like funnier and funnier.
And she's really so great.
She's the star.
And also Debbie Mazur gets like more of a developed storyline.
And I just live for her.
So it's good.
I just need less Liza.
Like for real.
Like she's so intolerably annoying.
How is Kelsey?
And I'm watching the show.
I'm like, how did anyone, not to be mean, ever think this girl was 25?
Like, are these people blind?
She's not.
When I watched it, like the first seasons, when everyone really thought she was 26, like,
I really thought the casting was so perfect because she really could be 26.
But this lie was not sustainable because by season six, like, she couldn't pass her 25.
But I agree.
Like, the crazy thing was, it was like, who is this woman?
She's literally 40 but 25.
Like, it was kind of brilliant.
They casted it perfectly.
But I'm so glad they got over that whole lie storyline.
Liza.
Because by season five and six, like, it's so not believable.
But we're past that.
What's going on with Kelsey?
Literally nothing. And she's also becoming, like, really like really annoying like the show isn't about kelsey and
liza anymore like it's about everyone else and i feel like they did a good job of like it's almost
like sex in the city like of course carrie was the most interesting at first but then it's like
i kind of find myself wanting to hear what's going on with charlotte and samantha and miranda
more than i even give a shit about carrie and it's the darren star effects like i literally
care about the the tiniest characters more than i care about liza about Carrie. And it's the Darren Star effect. Like I literally care about the tiniest characters
more than I care about Liza.
And guess who's a new character this season?
Who?
Heather Mooney.
Oh.
From?
From Romeo and Michelle.
Romeo and Michelle.
She plays like a college professor who.
Does she play an entrepreneur who invented quick burning cigarettes?
No, but that is kind of her coming of age story.
That's like before she became a professor, that was what she did. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah,
it's like her prequel. Okay, I'm gonna watch. Wow. Okay, I guess I'm not getting anything done
today because I have to watch Bethany's show, Younger. Bethany's show will take you five
minutes. Like it's literally two episodes and they're 30 minutes. Okay, fine. I think
Brew will be into that because he doesn't really know Bethany because he was born after her time
on Roni. Wow. Isn't that crazy?
Imagine growing up in like a post-Bethany-Roni era.
Can't relate.
Can't relate.
So, Bru will be excited about that.
And now I think without further ado, it is time, you know.
100%
100% it's time.
For the best-selling stories that you need to know.
Yeah, you.
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Are you ready to get into it?
I think I feel ready.
Like I had a coffee.
You know, I'm just like a coffee girlie.
I can't relate.
First story.
Bill and Melinda Gates are ending their marriage.
The Gateses are getting divorced after 27 years.
The pair announced in a statement
on their twitter accounts they said after a great deal of thought and a lot of work on a relationship
we have made the decision to end our marriage this is so crazy and let me tell you why tell us
obviously it's crazy because how long were they married 37 27 whatever um a huge accomplishment
so happy for them but at some point it's like just see how you know like
yeah like what are they gonna go and do now no like 27 like i don't know i just can't imagine
there's so much at stake here too but see that's the other thing is there what do you mean didn't
they pledge like all their money away money half their money they pledged to charity and they gave
their kids like a dollar each did they do? Like they gave each kid a million dollars which obviously is a lot of money
not for the Gateses but. Yes. If I was a kid I'd be kind of pissed. Like really? I flew private
my whole life and now all I have is a million dollars? Well I'm sure there's like
more to it than that. Trusts. Yeah trusts. I'm sure they have like credit card
Gates. Oh you think? A hundred percent. Or else these kids would be like
protesting. No they like that
is crazy i'm sure just like it's a good look for them to be like we gave our kids right
what one million dollars but like i'm sure they have like a credit card and and access but what
about the foundation like that's kind of the charity world is quaking over this no it's a big
deal it's a big deal is it going to become the bill gates foundation and the melinda gates
foundation two separate foundations or is it going to become the Bill Gates Foundation and the Melinda Gates Foundation two separate foundations? Or is it going to remain the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation?
I want to say it's going to remain.
Me too.
Because I would think that the charity world is everything to them.
No, and the charity takes precedent over personal matters.
But if they were able to just put things aside and work on things, then they wouldn't be getting divorced.
Right.
So I think maybe this might be an opportunity for the charity world to get the Bill Gates Foundation and the Melinda Gates Foundation.
And that would be sensational but this is going to be one of those things where like they're so rich
even them giving away half their money like when they get divorced they're still both going to stay
on like the Forbes list you know. Yeah. It's like a McKenzie. Yeah. Yeah. So how much money do they
have? 137 billion is his net worth the fuck up and i read that there's
no prenup oh well of course because she met him when she he was uh 27 years ago was he a nothing
they were both bringing up microsoft oh yes melinda okay here's the thing and this is this
might be like one of the most controversial statements i have ever said. Okay. But honestly like 137 billion like
just doesn't add up. Like Microsoft is a losery ass company. Like I haven't used Microsoft since
literally 99. Like when paint was everything in the solitaire like Minecraft world was just so
important. Like so I don't know that's just like really losery company and I don't get how you go
from that. Of course you'll be rich if you invented Microsoft 100%.
But $137 billion just doesn't add up.
I think he has a lot of different.
I agree.
I hear what you're saying.
It's kind of like what we were saying yesterday.
About like AOL.
Yeah.
But like he literally invented the internet.
But like how?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But then also he has his hand in a lot of things.
Yes. Like. I then also he has his hand in a lot of things. Yes.
Like.
I like how he's like, he has become the face for like internet jokes about just like Illuminati.
So like I think the Illuminati crowd is quaking.
Like what does this mean?
He's become the face of internet jokes like about like vaccine conspiracies.
Illuminati, you know?
No, but that's like Illuminati is a bigger umbrella of like conspiracy theories.
And he's the face of
Of this pod
Of like vaccine
Pandemic conspiracies
Yeah I mean
I don't know why
People would say that
Because like when I got my shot
I felt totally fine
I just like dreamt about
Bill Gates for three years straight
And I was just like
A little cross eyed
No and then you found yourself
Walking to the Microsoft store
Oh my god
I can't stop my arms and legs
No so he's just like A funny guy And like honestly Oh my God. I can't stop my arms and legs.
No, so he's just like a funny guy.
And like, honestly, I'm just, I think that the Illuminati, like the 4chan crowd, like whoever makes up all these conspiracy theories, like they're freaking out.
Like, what does this mean?
What does this mean?
Because like Bill Gates is more pertinent than ever right now.
And by the way, did he even have anything to do with the vaccine, like creation,
like money or anything?
I think that he has like money invested in.
Moderna.
Pharma companies.
Got it.
I don't know.
Like why him?
I'm not too deep.
Why not Dolly Parton,
you know?
The conspiracies.
It's the scale is different.
Plus there was that TED talk
he gave that,
like where he talked about.
Yes, that's why.
Where he talked about
the inevitability of a pandemic and then. like where he talked about. Yes, that's why. Where he talked about the inevitability of a pandemic.
And then people thought he started it.
Yes.
It was kind of like a little on the nose.
Not at all.
Not at all.
No, but by the way, people have been saying that forever.
Like the gross, like we were disgusting.
We still are.
But like, no.
And if you watch, there was a Netflix show that came out like right before COVID called
Pandemic.
That was like kind of like a docuseries about like studying different diseases.
And it became clear like this was not an if but a when.
Yeah, yeah.
So that was just like a bad TED Talk for Bill Gates's reputation.
Yeah.
So and then plus like the divorce, it's like, what does Mackenzie know?
Yeah, no.
What did she find out?
No, and it's like if Mackenzie, no, not Mackenzie, Melinda.
If Melinda, like,
mysteriously disappears,
then we know something's up.
Yes.
Yes.
Just keep an eye,
keep your eyes on Melinda.
This is some pretty spooky stuff.
No, but this was like
a shocking notification to get
because like at some point
it's the Karen Huger institution
and so you just don't even realize
that Bill and Melinda
hypothetically could get divorced
because like they're just not.
Yeah, I agree.
Well, prayers for the kids.
It's hard to be a child of divorce,
even with $137 billion.
Just about covers it.
Nothing can hurt your feelings.
Okay, are you ready for our next story?
We have a lot of men in the news today.
Men?
Men.
Will Smith is saying he's in the worst shape of his life.
That this might have been my favorite thing Will Smith's ever done.
Will Smith got real with his Instagram followers on Sunday in a pic that he said shows him
with a very the stars they're just like us look.
The action hero looks super relatable in the candid shot of him hanging outside near a
lake wearing just spandex workout shorts and an unzipped track jacket. He said i'm gonna be real with y'all i'm in the worst shape of my life let me tell you
why it was so funny because of course like i'm scrolling and i see the picture and my first
thought because i'm like a judgmental person i'm like oh my god wow like he's put on weight like
not not in a good or a bad way but like that was my thought and i just never expected him to be so
direct in addressing it in his caption and it just like made me love him so much like everyone is in the worst shape of their life
even Will Smith. A hundred percent it made me feel like so I really like that was a moment for the
first time in a while where I'm like wow stars they're just like us. Yes and I feel like at every
corner stars are just so desperately trying to communicate to us that they are just like us when
in fact they are not at all like us and Will Smith like I just had a lot of respect for this because first
of all the caption was so funny and second of all like Will Smith like can literally have like a
chef a trainer like a gym in his house and even he's not working out so like why should I yeah
no it definitely like was nice to see and very relatable and I appreciate the honesty.
100% and just the way he, like, worded his caption was very funny.
Hysterical.
What was it again?
I'm going to be real with you guys.
I'm going to be real with y'all.
I'm going to be real with my life.
By the way, like, literally, you know, there are these companies that, like, frame, print
and frame and, like, laminate iconic tweets from celebrities.
Like, need this one hanging
over my bed yeah totally and also speaking of um male weight gain news mark walberg no it's part
of the same story mark walberg is sharing before and after snaps of a 20 pound weight gain in three
weeks he's gained 20 pounds he's gained 20 pounds in three weeks on tuesday he showed off his 20
pound weight gain in three weeks on instagram after revealing last month that he planned to gain
30 pounds in six weeks for his role as a boxer turned priest in the film Father Stew. Here are
the pictures. Oh my god. So everyone's just like getting really real with us. Can I tell you something?
I didn't realize this was for a role. I thought this was like by accident. Do you remember when
we were talking about Morgan Stewart like had gotten like some
backlash for like her post baby body? For being this natural? For being this natural and I was
just like well when Morgan Stewart does it like it doesn't bother me but maybe if like if someone
else did it it would have bothered me. So Will Smith being real with us like doesn't bother me
I'm empowered by it but like Mark Wahlberg like shut up. Do you know what I mean? They essentially
did the same thing but like I find
Will so endearing I'm a bigger fan of Will Smith than I was before and Mark Wahlberg like seriously
like shut up no and also like having to gain weight for a role like talk about not relatable
imagine having that much control of your weight that you can gain and lose for work no getting
paid to gain weight the dream if that were case, I would be the next Melinda Gates.
Totally.
But everyone's just getting real, so.
We're all just getting fat.
We are.
Some of us are trying to turn the tides.
Some of us are also not having success.
And some of us are drinking milkshakes.
You know, wellness looks different for everyone.
You know what else looks different for everyone?
What?
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Love it.
Okay, next story.
Adam Sandler has a hilarious response to being turned away from IHOP.
Yes. So last week, a 17-year-old Long Island hostess, Diana Rodas,
didn't recognize Adam Sandler
and told him it would be
a 30-minute wait for a table
at IHOP in Manhasset.
After she realized her mistake,
she made a TikTok
about the experience
garnering more than
9 million views.
She found the security footage
of her literally
turning Adam Sandler away
and he was so cool
and he was like,
okay, cool, bye.
Yes, she said not realizing
it's Adam Sandler
and telling him
it's a 30-minute wait.
And him, of course, leaving because he's not going to wait 30 minutes for IHOP.
I want to.
Okay, so let's say she knew it was Adam Sandler.
Right.
I was in line first.
Why do you get to cut?
No, I agree.
It would have been cool.
Like, oh, you're Adam Sandler.
Love your movies.
It's 30 minutes.
I don't understand whether or not she knew.
Just because you're famous, why don't you have to wait in line with the rest of us stars
they are just like us get in line you know if that's the rule like I would like to skip some
lines like I just I think it's funny that she didn't know who he was but I don't like the
assumption that like right what would that have changed what would have been different you know
I told I agree with you um and so he responded to the viral tiktok saying for the
record I only left the IHOP because the nice woman told me the all you can eat deal didn't
apply to the milkshakes well he should have hung out with you and he'd be fine IHOP is milkshakes
I didn't know that honestly this is like just great PR for IHOP because now I need a pancake
and a milkshake do you remember when IHOP rebranded to IHOB? Yeah. But it was like an April Fool's prank.
Unclear.
They never cleared that one up.
So like in my mind, I keep like, whenever I see an IHOP, I'm like, oh, they haven't
changed their logo yet.
Like they never like followed up.
Untold the joke.
Or like made it full circle.
That's the danger of April Fool's jokes.
Hundred.
Your announcement of the joke has to be as big and as well received as the actual follow-up
of the joke yeah I totally agree but in the meantime Adam Sandler didn't eat at IHOP and
that's a tragic story it is it's a tragedy you know Adam Sandler um like lives near NYU and he
plays basketball and like the there's like two gyms one of them is like obviously like some new
sponsor just put it in because it's like sickeningly stunning.
It looks like a Planet Fitness.
And then another one is called Kohl's
and it's like an actual dump.
Like there's rats everywhere
and nobody uses it.
But Adam Sandler goes there every day
to play basketball
and he walks around NYU
like in his basketball shorts.
So I actually have seen Adam Sandler.
So this story is kind of personal to me.
Oh, yeah.
He's definitely thinking of you
when he wrote that tweet.
Oh, he responded in tweet form? Oh, I don't know where he responded probably not a tweet I just assume everything is.
Are you ready for our next story? Sure. Because finally some respect well it's not finally sometimes
it happens but some respect is being put on Pink's name. She's receiving. Finally. She's receiving the
Icon Award at the Billboard Music Awards. She says that she feels humbled and honored as she should pink is set to be honored with the icon award at the billboard music awards
on may 23rd people can exclusively announce the singer will also hit the stage for a hit filled
performance oh my god it's gonna be like her has she done the super bowl yeah no she should oh you
said that before that she should yeah maybe that's what i thought she a hundred percent feels like a
good first step. Yes.
Because she has, people don't realize, like, hit after hit.
She's literally been.
The hits start coming and they don't stop coming.
Come to know him and I hit the ground running.
People don't realize, like, for literally every phase of my life in the last 15 years,
like, there is a pink song associated with it.
And she does not get enough respect. But she is so like she doesn't care do you know
what I mean about any of that shit she doesn't need all these awards and accolades she sells
major tickets like her songs perform so well like she doesn't need any sort of um validation but I'm
sure it feels nice yeah and it's nice for the fans you know yeah we got you know a pink medley
performance in the billboard music awards and now and it's nice for the fans you know. Yeah. Because then we get you know a pink medley performance
at the Billboard Music Awards
and now I have a greater chance of watching.
You know what I think it is with pink?
I think there's probably like millions of people
who are like fans of hers
but she doesn't have like a lot of like number one fans.
Like stans.
Everyone just like likes pink.
Nobody like would get hit by a bus for her
like they would like Ariana Grande you know.
But I think that that is probably a part of her longevity and like her mental health for sure yeah super toxic
to have like that type of yeah because you know adoration it it's not sustainable it's not
sustainable and it's can turn yeah so i think that's what it is like no one if i had five
tickets to a pink concert i don't think I would find one person who would say no.
Like everyone just like likes her, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like unless someone couldn't come.
Right.
And her talent like is there.
The singing, the dancing, the tricks in the sky.
The acrobatics.
The acrobatics.
Thank you.
That's the word I was looking for.
They're there for sure.
So BBMAs, maybe I'll be watching an award show.
We shall see.
The BBMAs are usually pretty good.
They usually are good because they just like play the songs that like charted so the songs that actually do well not the songs like the
grammys aside are good yes agreed so are you ready to get into our fifth and final story is it the
fifth and final story yes it is yeah nyc's bougiest restaurant 11 madison park goes completely
vegan 11 madison park one of the world's most acclaimed restaurants has announced its menu NYC's bougiest restaurant, 11 Madison Park, goes completely vegan.
11 Madison Park, one of the world's most acclaimed restaurants,
has announced its menu is going vegan,
according to a statement by chef owner Daniel Hum on Monday.
In an exclusive interview with the Wall Street Journal,
the Swiss-born chef said,
if 11 Madison Park is truly at the forefront of dining and culinary innovation,
to me it's crystal clear that this is the only place to go next this is crazy so 11 madison park is like the fanciest restaurant in new york city have you ever eaten there um no but they did a pop-up in the hamptons and i ate at that one so i ate at the
one in new york and i got so sick because the food was so rich and like everything's coming out
literal gout i got gout from like allegedly. We don't want any slander.
No, but the food is so rich.
There are so many courses.
Everything comes out hot, cold.
It's just like.
A lot.
It's tumultuous on the stomach.
But they're going vegan.
And so I feel like I have, like, I don't know.
Maybe I should try it again.
Plant-based?
Plant-based.
It's the same thing.
Yes.
The relaunch menu is described as an, well, no, it's not the exact same thing.
Because vegan also cuts out other stuff.
You could be plant-based and not vegan.
But if you're vegan, you're plant-based.
Got it.
I know, that didn't make clear.
None, none.
The relaunch menu is described as an 8-10 course menu
in the main dining room consisting of entirely plant-based dishes.
The 3 Michelin-star restaurant at 24th and Madison in Manhattan
will reopen for service on June 10 10th let me say something i'm really happy that the vegans
have a fancy place to eat like they deserve it 100 they work so hard but i just hope this doesn't
become a trend this is the kind of meal you can look forward to at 11 madison park literal garden
in a plate it's a literal bowl of just lettuce. Oh and that will cost you $67. And some apples.
Yeah no it's um $355. Oh no it's the average price tag is $500 because you have to buy you
buy the experience and so it's hundreds of dollars per person. You're getting like 10 courses. So I
just hope like whatever great like there are very rich fancy vegans who might want like a night out
on the town and they deserve that. I just hope this isn't a thing that like popular restaurants start to do because like us carnivores like we still gotta eat I don't know
I'm I'm not not here for it like I do feel for the carnivores of course but like for me personally
if everything were plant-based I would if I could look at a menu and order anything I wanted from it
that would be a whole new experience but most people can't do that whether it's religious allergies taste I pretty much I eat like mostly like I don't have that many restrictions allergy
wise and kosher wise like I have a few but like I literally I go to a menu and I'm like where's
the chicken and where's the salmon that's the only two things right okay so say like the world
was trending towards like only serving chicken salmon french fries and chicken nuggets like
and they were going to make all different versions with those ingredients.
Wouldn't you look forward to that?
Thrilling.
Like, sorry, everyone.
But this is my time to shine.
Yeah.
Oh, wow, no.
Now that you put it in that perspective, you're 100% right.
That sounds amazing.
And you could look at a menu and literally anything,
you would like anything that's on it.
You know, that's why I love going to McDonald's.
The menu is really just like for me.
Claudia friendly.
Yeah, there's so many different types of chicken sandwiches and types of different
nuggets. Spicy, tender, like it's just it's thrilling. Yeah. And the sides oh my god I can't
even get like get into it. So exciting. So the Love in Madison Park story is interesting one it's
like the fanciest restaurant but also like could they be a trendsetter? Is this the way that the
world is going? Interesting. It's considered the fanciest restaurant like in the world right or in the
city in the city actually one of my land fanciest city one if by land is actually considered the
fanciest in the city you think so um before we wrap up but now they're gonna have to just cut
it one if by plant-based two if by sea get not even by sea because that's not plant-based two
if by farm-raised fish right because youbased. Two if by farm-raised fish.
Right.
Because you know that I was having farm-raised fish for the past two weeks and it tasted amazing.
Do you feel like you raised some fish?
They were farm-to-table fish.
Wait, farm-raised fish?
Fish don't live on farms.
That's why it's crazy.
They like fish tank and create them in the fish tank.
Sounds like you're making this up.
I'm not.
I swear.
Farm-raised fish, look it up.
Before we wrap up today's show,
I do have a little mindlessness that I would like to share.
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Okay, a little Kelly's Mindless News
like the 4th of July.
This segment is in no way
sponsored by Kelly Ripper
or any of her family,
friends, or acquaintances.
We apologize for the advance
for any offense we may cause,
but Kelly just makes it
way too easy.
No, Kelly's PR team
just makes it way too easy.
Kelly Ripper
wows
in gorgeous swimsuit for sun-soaked anniversary
selfie with mark consuelos so just with that headline tell me an oxymoron because how are
you wowing in a swimsuit when you're taking a selfie precisely but just if you were a typical
consumer who wasn't uh abreast on the mindlessness that is okay so i'm gonna say even though it's a
selfie and she's wowing in a swimsuit maybe they did that zoom out feature on selfie you ever do that where you're taking a
selfie and then you press that button it zooms out a little bit maybe she got a high angle and
so she's wowing in her swimsuit next to her husband Kelly Ripa had all the feels on Saturday
don't forget that there's major sun as it is sun soaked yeah and it's like crystal clear and like
sickening great filter when you're standing directly in the sunlight like you have yeah
like honestly like a Kylie Jenner selfie like when you're standing directly in the sunlight like you have. Yeah. Like honestly
like a Kylie Jenner selfie
like when she stands in the sun
and somehow like doesn't squint.
And she's like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's Kelly.
Okay.
Kelly Ripa had all the feels
on Saturday
as she marked her 25th
wedding anniversary
with husband Mark Consuelos.
And even though we're making fun
that is a huge feat.
Bill and Melinda
27.
Tapped out at 27.
Let's see how far they go.
The Live With Kelly and Ryan star
and her actor spouse each shared a variety of photos
to publicly celebrate their love for each other on social media.
This one stood out to Hello Magazine because one in particular posted on Kelly's Instagram
saw her and Mark display their age-defying looks as they soaked up the sun surrounded
by palm trees.
Kelly looked phenomenal in a monochrome swimsuit as she posed makeup free on her knees bending towards
the camera and flashing a beaming smile mark looked equally incredible rocking a pair of black
swimming shorts and a baseball cap as he displayed his toned physique running across the image kelly
said happy 25th baby so i just have to say before i show you what this like blurry ass like piece
of shit image looks like it's worth noting like ke Ripa and Mark Anzuelos are literally like probably two of the people in
the industry who look best for their age like I can't tell who looks better him or her like they
both are snatched and like are just like stunning I just don't really feel like this image was
newsworthy and I'm gonna show it to you and of course we will post it on our Instagram in my
head I'm just thinking of the two of them like on a beach direct sunlight like sickening her and her monochromatic no this is literally
taken on an android and it's a story it's a story like so her shitty quality story makes news make
it make it make sense make it make sense and she's like not even in the picture and her monochromatic
suit she's bending over you can't even see her bathing suit that that ain't right and the screenshot like this looks like the same person
who's running bethany's like social media like it's just not it's not it's just not it and it
like is an otherwise cute photo there just doesn't need to be an article about it no exactly and it's
like that's what makes kelly's mindless news so frustrating it's like there's there is actually
like stuff to talk about when it comes to Kelly Ripa but
they're just choosing like the most mindless yeah no but it's definitely an effective strategy
because now I associate Kelly Ripa with mindlessness as opposed to like controversy
yeah could be worse for Kelly Ripa yeah that's true actually maybe that's the whole like
inundating us and the more we talk about it like the more we're fueling this machine but we are
onto something 100% no this is this the PR strategy for Kelly Ripa's team like inundate them with mindlessness and I just
hate it's like it's like and they'll get so sick of hearing about her and talking about her that
they won't spend time talking about the things we don't want them to talk about that's true but it
kind of feels like you know in Josie and the Pussycat Tots when they were like putting the
subliminal messaging through the music for the youth.
Like, I just don't really feel, like, good about the fact
that, like, Kelly's PR team has, like, decided
to kind of subliminally message us
and, like, mess with our minds.
So that's why I do the work that I do
when it comes to Kelly's Mindless News.
No, calling it out.
But I also think that the first step
is, like, knowing that you're being messed with.
Exactly.
And we've taken that step.
And honestly, that's like all we can do.
You know, it's out of our control.
Call it out when you see it.
Call it out when you see it.
So that's a little Kelly's Mindless News.
And we hope that it was mindless enough for you.
We do.
Anything you want to like say?
Oh, we actually have a great guest on the show tomorrow.
Yes, we do.
So that will be really fun and exciting.
Tomorrow's hump day.
The air toaster.
So exciting.
Roni premiere tomorrow is going to be a big day.
Dallas reunion.
I mean, it is going to be a big day. Dallas reunion. Oh my God.
It is going to be a long show tomorrow.
And also I have so much TV to watch today.
So if I thought I was going to be like, you know, up and at, I'm working out, like cleaning
out my closet, maybe tomorrow.
Well, tomorrow, actually I am cleaning out my closet with my favorite home organizers
done and done.
They're like a fabulous, hilarious mother daughter duo.
And I'm going to Patreon vlog it because like, I just feel like, at least for me, I don't really get as much done unless
I'm vlogging. Because I have something to prove. Like I want to want people to think I'm disgusting
and I have dirty underwear everywhere. No, it holds you accountable. Right. Yeah. So that'll
be on the Patreon and a bunch of fabulous things happening this month on the Patreon.
Patreon.com slash The Morning Toast. $7.99 to get five extra episodes from Jackie and I a month. They're vlogs. They're podcasts.
They're really anything you want them to be. And you can request personal episodes because
once you become a member, you get access to the Facebook group, which is the last remaining
Facebook group, The Toast After Dark. So $7.99, five episodes, five fabulous memories,
and access to the Facebook group, and a great way to support your favorite
gals yes also last month was such a bang up month content content content content content
no sleep if you have like so many questions about my retreat like go to the Patreon every single one
of them is answered in my vlog we did a Q&A like I'm getting to the heart of the matter if you just
like want to know what I was up to in the last two weeks. It's so important to get down to the heart of the matter.
It's so important.
Is that what I said?
Yes.
That's our show, you guys.
Thank you so much for listening to the morning.
Our show.
No one else's.
Don't get it twisted.
Do not get it twisted.
No one else is taking credit for that.
No one wants to be associated with us.
Thank you guys so much for listening to the morning shows.
The Millennium Morning Show.
Where we deliver the best fact stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.
So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video
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So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us.
The Morning Show is a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.
We'll see you guys tomorrow for Hump Day!
Goodbye!
Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.
Goodbye.