The Toast - S4 Ep86: New York Times Bestselling Fat Shrek: Tuesday, May 11th, 2021

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

Porscha Williams is engaged to Falynn Guobadia's ex Simon Guobadia (Page Six) Laverne Cox Taking Over as Host of E!'s Red Carpet Coverage After Giuliana Rancic's Exit (PEOPLE) Dave Chappelle's new podcast will drop at 12:01 am on Tuesday (Page Six) Nicole Richie and Sofia Richie collab on House of Harlow 1960 x Sofia Richie (PEOPLE) Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Taglines Revealed Barnes & Noble owner buys stationery retailer Paper Source out of bankruptcy (CNBC) The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Morning Toast, yeah! It's Tuesday. Hope everyone had a great Monday. Not as good as mine because I rose-groaned and got annihilated on Twitter by the Miley Cyrus stans. Just a regular day for me here at the Morning Toast. Yeah, things. They got crazy yesterday. They came for the comment section. They came for the DMs. I even got a little, uh, debris. What did they say about you? They said something. Also also i just want to say the miley stans are like really violent i know sometimes violence is the answer that's what

someone tweeted at me that's actually really funny yeah they were being funny honestly i didn't mind you like they're protecting their girl i respect it we're all entitled to our opinions but i just have to say the overwhelming amount of people that call me fat was so i kind of miss that no because people have been calling me so much worse in the past couple years they like forgot I was fat so I was just so happy because it's like so obvious you know it's really surprising that the Miley stans like on their moral high ground are fat phobic and resort to violence this is what this is a dm I received your podcast fucking sucks by the way I'd flatten that ugly mud of yours if I ever saw it in the street. So don't mention Miley again. Wait, I also screenshotted some.

That's so funny. They were being so insane. I like lived for it. Okay, wait. They were mostly directed at you because I rewatched a segment and I really didn't say much about Miley because you were just saying stuff. Here's one. Ugly white bitch.

Instead of criticizing the wonderful Miley Cyrus, you should be worrying about losing weight, fat. Fix that double chin before speaking out against a legend. Someone else, ho and fat. Someone else, no talent, ugly fat bitch. Miley Cyrus is a legend. And you, a fat. No, I was kind of living for it. Smizers, we see you. I respect the hustle the clear um surplus of time that you have on your hands so crazy is that if my life had gone in just like a different direction I don't know at what point I veered off this track but like I would have been one of those smizers dming you no I know like remember when you literally like weren't in Topshop and you saw Miley Cyrus and like your

whole world came crashing down I was the number one smizer of all time. I don't know of a bigger Miley fan than me like back in the day. So I guess if I continued on that path, like I would be at BDMing people, like calling them a fat. A fat, maybe. But instead I'm here. That's good. And I think this is where I'd rather be. Life just, you know, is constantly throwing tangents and veers and. I'm also disappointed in the Miley stans because when the BTS stans came for us like they gave us so much irrelevant uglies like. The BTS stans came for us and you know what I kind of wish they came back for us because they don't even know how full circle we've come like we were trashing BTS because they thought they should be nominated for a Grammy and I thought they were insane but now after Dynamite

like I fully agree like that is a Grammy worthy song and it seems like the Grammys are going out of their way to like not even acknowledge BTS's existence and now I understand why the BTS fans like were are upset about that and also upset at us for perpetuating propagating that narrative 100% so actually I would really love to hear back from the BTS fans letting them know like we've changed and you were right um but I'm gonna stand my ground on what I said about Miley but I do want the Smizers to know like I'm a huge Miley fan as well um you can keep calling me fat that's totally fine because you're not like a hundred percent wrong and we see each other and you know maybe we will meet again and we can agree maybe we'll meet again the next time Miley's on SNL. So just like a few weeks. Yeah. No, that was like a fun little treat.

I was so busy yesterday. Booked and busy. Like back to being back to back to back. It was just so crazy. We recorded the Redheads last night. Really hysterically funny episode. Like the book is really cute and good, but there's not like that much. Substance.

To dissect. So we were just like off the rails. It was hysterical. New episode drops on Thursday and you don't want to miss it. Oh, and it's never too late to become a redhead it's not I know you might think that it is no I just assumed we've done 17 episodes so many books but you can jump right in at any time only 17 episodes I think that this was our 18th we do it hasn't been a year it's been oh wait a year and change dumbest thing I ever said I was thinking weeks I'm like 52 weeks

you've only done 17 no one more than a year it's been more than a year and change. That was the dumbest thing I ever said. I was thinking weeks. I'm like, 52 weeks? You've only done 17? No, one a month. No, so more than a year. It's been more than a year, and there was two months where we did bi-weekly episodes. Oh, right. Okay, wow. That's crazy. Crazy, but still, it's never too late to join.

I announced my pick for the next Redheads. I was going to do a classic, but I made the decision to just take you on the journey that I'm on, and I just chose the next book that was on my want to read list like which was oh should I give everyone it hasn't come out yet because oh no sorry I forgot the episode I don't know I kind of like want to give it away because also exclusive people like lost a week of reading because we push it back and that's not fair for me to do to you tell them so we are reading the American Duchess the story story of Consuela Vanderbilt by Karen Harper. I love that.

Yeah. So sneak peek. The Anderson Cooper of it all. Yes. How is Anderson Cooper related to Consuela? That we shall find out. Like Consuela's relation to Gloria. To Gloria, right.

Yeah. I think one of the craziest like fun facts about pop culture that I think a lot of people forget about is that Anderson Cooper is a Vanderbilt. Yeah. It's kind of crazy. I forget all the time it's kind of crazy I forget all the time I forgot again I forget all the time I actually forget all the time how like most people in Hollywood are there by nepotism and I'm actually I'm not one of those people who like despises nepotism like as someone who like has a lot of sisters like I and if I got like a movie job I would give them a role as well

but you just forget that like everyone is someone something I was thinking last night I had literally forgotten I forget who it was that this person was like someone's daughter and I'm like wow really everyone in Hollywood it's just like a big incest I wonder who you were thinking of I know I couldn't remember whatever but that was like when that article came out about girls how like people didn't realize the four characters on girls like every single one of their parents was like a famous artist or writer or something that ultimately led to them being on that show yeah it's just kind of crazy that is really crazy and my life is kind of crazy what's that from I don't know it's hi I'm and my life is kind of oh hi it's a TikTok sound well I literally spend so much time on TikTok hi I'm Ryan'm Ryan. And my life is kind

of crazy. I remember that. You do? Because that sound is from like that MTV show. Oh. Right? Oh, no. When like two people like look like each other and then. Yeah. Yeah. So I did the trend when Vinny and Snooki had a baby. That was me. Oh, cool. Whose baby are are you Jessica Chastain and um Ron from and whose baby are you mean and meaner no I just said Snooki and JWoww no Jessica calling your mom Jessica Chastain like how nice am I Ron Weasley really he's redhead is that where you're going with it oh sorry okay Prince Harry is that better no no wrong um we have a great show for you guys. Before we dive in, I have to give a little update on my bull type journey. Okay. I watched so, I was the least productive piece of shit slob ever yesterday. I watched so much bull type, so much happened. Spoiler alert. They all went to Paris

and then Richard showed up and like, it was honestly like too much for me. I was like screaming. I was just so excited. I love Suttonton the characters have really started to shift for me because I always loved Sutton and I loved Kat and I hated Jane honestly that hate is now kind of transferring to Kat she's just like so all over the place and like she's not really focusing on her job she's running for city council which is great but like you have a job to do you know you're the director of the department you know um but then there's a lot of you know changes going on at Scarlet. Like, Jacqueline is, like, kind of being pushed out by Patrick. So there's just a lot going on, and I'm, like, living for it.

But I really, I could use so much more Sutton. It's disgusting. In your opinion, who was, like, the main character of the show? Jane. I felt that way in the beginning, but honestly, I feel like it's not anymore. Well, I think that now, now like the tides have turned because everybody loves Sutton so much but I don't know why I just feel like it's Jane yeah like because I feel like Jane has like the storyline that of the protagonist whereas like

Sutton and Kat their storylines are just written like it's not supplemental yeah no it's a frustrating because it should be the Sutton show of course she needs a spinoff but I'm happy I really uh actually like uh Jane and Pinstripe together I think they're cute and I just like I know something bad is gonna go wrong like with Richard and Sutton like it's too good to be true I feel like Richard dies or something like every time he's like on screen I'm like oh my god thank god you're still alive like I'm putting so many of my eggs in Richard's basket and he just like wants to move connect to Connecticut and have a family with Sutton but like she's such a go-getting career gal and he's gonna wait for her so like I don't know what's gonna go wrong but like I know something is and I'm just really upset about it just enjoy it okay

don't worry about it the only thing you need to worry about with Richard because he's Mr. Cancel Your Show is that oh somebody DM me that the upcoming season is the final season it might be but like I like when it's a final season that was planned to be the final season I know but like a show like The Bold Type is so not serious it could just go on forever like it doesn't even matter but then it gets stupid and bad like let's be intentional about the ending and then we can like everyone gets a happy ending I also really like two more things about the show the first is I like that a lot of the like extra characters who like were irrelevant have become more like um prominent prominent thank you that's the word and you just love seeing their

development like Oliver is everything Sutton's boss the second thing I like yeah and the second thing I like is that I feel as though they tackle you know difficult issues for the modern gal in a very relatable way like when they had that whole episode about Sutton's gun that was like so random and out of the blue and I was like what the fuck but I thought they made like really interesting points about the whole thing and it was like it was a very interesting conversation yeah I agree I forgot about that episode but when I watched it I thought the same thing like there's a whole episode about Sutton's gun yeah Betsy and then that other episode where that girl goes viral for writing a piece in the New Yorker about like how she was pressured into um sex by this guy Jeff

and it turns out that Jeff spoiler alert is Alex from The Office the um the guy who kissed Sutton in the first season and he wrote a rebuttal about how like men need to do better so I just think they really tackle like very awkward like issues in a modern way yeah I would agree with that it's a great show I'm like living for it I'm so so glad i it's the best thing that you ever gave me like dead ass it's second to your kindle wow second yeah of course the kindle's number one unlimited books like you could literally read anything that's ever been written right like i'm honestly mad at you for giving me the bull type because there's only four seasons with 10 episodes that's it's robust no 10 episodes is nothing it's robust no it's nothing and they're not even full

hours they're 42 minutes because they're on cable i, it's nothing. And they're not even full hours. They're 42 minutes because they're on cable. I think it's quite robust, but that's just me. I caught up on the long shot with Bethany. It's called the big shot. And like, again, same quandaries. For me, it's just Meloxy, period. Meloxy or bust.

Meloxy is the winner. Everyone that they keep bringing in is it's not even like they're bringing in people who are better than the original group they're bringing in like the people who were eliminated from the original group like Brody the B team. But weren't you happy to see her hire Corey because he really was like a nice well-meaning hard-working guy but just not fit for this role. Yes but like and now Bethany it's like we are reminded of who Bethany is where it's like she's so tough she's so sharp and like cutting and she'll she'll cut you down but like she like is so emotional. Yeah she's all over the place a little bit. Yeah I'm happy that Corey got

the job I hope that the trial goes well um and in just watching the group Meloxy is the only one qualified for the position like everyone else can go home but I was kind of heartbroken to see Jenna go home too because it was her first time in the bottom two Nicole has now been in the bottom two twice so she should go home yeah of course but Nicole is like the straw that stirs the drink and her only real attribute for the show is starting drama and I don't even know what we would like talk about but now that Nicole's like on the wagon she's not interesting like and she's not good at the jobs she should be sent home like it wasn't fair it wasn't fair and Jenna actually did a really good job in other things and I thought the way that she handled the photo shoot where like everyone was having a breakdown no one knew what to do

and she was like Bethany you ready let's go that's exactly what Bethany's looking for I just think the problem with the show in general is that Bethany has not been clear like at all what this particular job is because it's a chief brand officer but the more I'm seeing is that Bethany has not been clear like at all what this particular job is because it's a chief brand officer but the more I'm seeing like from Bethany it's like a Bethany manager handler job yeah I think it's like Bethany's stand-in almost like head of the company when Bethany doesn't want to be sort of thing got it but I agree she's looking for a mind reader yes so far it's like kind of like who just has the best idea of what she wants. But I just think that Meloxy is so solid, like incapable.

And she's the only person who's in the realm of what Bethany needs. Hashtag Meloxy or bust. Hashtag Meloxy or bust. Like everyone else, it's a joke. It's a TV show. Yeah. And now Brody's back. I'm good. No, and it's like the show never ends. TV show. Yeah. And now Brody's back. I'm good.

No and it's like the show never ends. They keep bringing people on taking people off. I think we've netted like zero. Yeah. No totally.

And it must be annoying for like Meloxi when she's like when do I get my crown? When do I get my crown? Okay well I'm so glad that you're all caught up. I'm really loving that

but I've been focused on the bold type and I just don't know what I'm going to do afterwards so that's that. Well we'll keep you abreast. Of course we will. As we always do but I've been focused on the bold type and I just don't know what I'm gonna do afterwards so that's that well we'll keep you abreast of course we will as we always do but I think without further a do-do-do-do-do speaking of where is do I have some errands to run so he had to stay home it's literally do-do-do-do-do where are you no it's literally do-do-do-do-do's day and he's not even

here do's day without further ado do-do-do-do heredoosday and he's not even here. Doosday. Without further ado here are the Fast High Stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast. And today's episode

is sponsored by The Hills, New Beginnings and Siesta Key. Siesta Key and The Hills, New Beginnings are back on MTV

Wednesday, May 12th starting at 8pm. So that is tomorrow. Juliet, wanna know what she's up to? She's living the lavish life with Sam, her billionaire boyfriend. But will Kelsey rain on their parade when they clash over their rival swimsuit brands?

And this season, Brandon, Chloe, Madison, Amanda, and Garrett are trying to move forward. But will their paths pull them back under? While Siesta Key is embracing the unknown, The Hills New Beginnings is all about moving forward. Heidi and Spencer's relationship is put to the test as they realize they're on two different pages when it comes to having another baby. Brody and Audrina are back in the dating pool, but as they start seeing other people,

they begin to realize that they may be ready to be more than just friends. Justin Bobby reaches out to reconnect with his estranged family as he looks to his past in order to settle down and plan for his future. Plus, a long-awaited reunion year is in the making with a former castmate you'll have to see to believe. Do you know who it is?

No, do you? Like, I think so based on the commercials. I don't know. Will this Hollywood crew be able to begin again? Find out during the season premieres of Siesta Key and The Hills' New Beginnings, starting Wednesday, May 12th, that's tomorrow, at 8, only on MTV, Wednesday, May 12th, that's tomorrow, the 8, only on MTV, Wednesday, May 12th.

That's tomorrow. The season premiere of Siesta Key and The Hills, New Beginnings. There's so much going on in the world of Siesta Key. I know, we've been waiting for the show to come back for so long because of the changing of the guards and Juliette really having it all.

And I'm so excited to watch her. She's been through so much the last few seasons. It's her time. No, and I'm obsessed with her billionaire boyfriend. I'm obsessed like I just want everything it's coming up Juliet like I and finally for the Juliet stands this is our season I think so too it feels like no except that Juliet and Kelsey are on the outs which I do not like no I know and I really did enjoy them as friends but when it comes down to it like my allegiance is always with Juliet so like I really don't care no no my allegiance is with Juliet but. So like I really don't care. No, no, no. My allegiance is with Juliet.

But Kelsey was a really good friend to her. I know. But until she wasn't like when she went behind her back to like talk to Sam, like that was so fucked up. Yeah. Damn. OK. Well, first story, some crazy news.

Portia Williams is engaged to Fallon's ex, Simon Gubadia. It took me literally 20 minutes to figure out what I was reading. I know. Because I'm like, Fallon? When it said Fallon and I are not friends. Yeah. Portia confirmed on Instagram that she's engaged to Simon after posting a photo that sparked rumors of a betrothal. She said, our relationship began a month ago.

Yes, we are crazy in love. I know it's fast, but we are living life each day to its fullest. I choose happiness every morning and every night tuning out all the negative energy and only focused on positive wishes he makes me so happy and to me that's what matters most she said that she had nothing to do with their divorce which they filed in january she said fallon and i are not friends and simon's divorce has been settled our relationship is a positive loving step forward in everybody's lives no and i'm sure that's like fair i'm sure he was divorced or whatever but like this is just so close for

comfort and i'm literally thinking like could she not have found anyone else than like a castmate not castmates but she was on the show and it seemed like they were prepping her to be like a friend of or maybe eventually a housewife but i don't know now that she's not married to simon is she like no longer interesting i don't know or did she just become interesting but like I think it was his money no but like now it's Portia's fiance's ex-wife oh yeah by the way this is what we need like yes we were just recapping the Atlanta reunion yesterday just feeling at least for me like it's just kind of stale with this whole Kenya Portia drama since day one they haven't met like it's just like they haven't jived it's just like kind of old and boring at this point but this now this is a real find this is a real story yeah it's

really crazy and I liked Fallon when we met her briefly this season I thought she was stunning yeah and she kept her composure for the most part when Toya was saying like the most vile things about her yes so between Toya Fall Fallon, Portia's time, and I think we've got a really good next season, but this is just really shocking. I'm happy for Portia that she found love. I just fucking love Portia. Like nothing she could do could make me not like her.

So I trust her judgment here. I'm sure there's more to the story and I can't wait to find out on season 13 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I know, but you'll be waiting a long time. I know. Almost as long as we waited for Siesta Key. I know. But we waited for Siesta Key for so long.

But Mazel Tov's are in order for Portia Williams. Yes, and Mazel Tov is also in order for Laverne Cox, who's taking over as the host of E!'s red carpet after Juliana's exit.

Things are shaking up at E! The network announced on Monday that Laverne Cox will take over as host of E!'s signature red carpet coverage. She will assume the role beginning with the 2022

awards season. In addition to hosting live from E, the advocate, actress, and Emmy-winning producer will host a series of celebrity-based interview specials spotlighting major players in the entertainment industry who are making waves in Hollywood. She said, I'm so excited and deeply humbled to be hosting E's iconic red carpet coverage.

For many years, I would wake up early on award show days. And I accidentally clicked on an ad. For many years, I would wake up early on award show days, get my snacks in place and watch E's coverage all day long, she said in a statement. I dreamed of walking red carpets. Now not only have I had several fun and amazing personal red carpet moments, I also get to be a red carpet guide for E's discerning audience

and chat with my colleagues and folks I deeply admire for these very special events in their lives. I can't wait to get started while hopefully serving up fashion fantasies for the ages, honey. Okay, I have so many thoughts. My first thought is that I love this selection. I think that like these jobs are so iconic

in entertainment history. You think of Joan Rivers, you think of Julianna Rancic. And so I think for it to be Laverne Cox, who is a trans woman of color, is like everything of the sort. I do feel like Laverne Cox is like a little too famous for this job.

That's like Jennifer Aniston taking the job. She's talent. My question is like, yeah, she's the one that's usually walking the carpet. Is she going to interview herself? So it does feel like in a lot of ways, this might be like a step down for her. Not in but just in like in like the work like it's a she could just walk like and now when there's an award show she used to just like show up and like have a

great time but now she's like working the show yeah I feel like it would be more preferable to just like sail down the red carpet no and like keep winning Emmys. Like she's an actress by trade. Yeah. Now the other thing is that like, you know, there's so much that goes into being an interviewer, you know? And I think it's actually a lot harder than a lot of people think. And most people who have found success in like a Julianna Rancic have been interviewing people for years and years and years. So I hope, I imagine there'll be some sort, like learning curve with Laverne because you have to retain so much information.

Like he puts together these binders. You have to know everything about everyone. And it's just, it's not just talking like it's, it's a real skill. Yes. It's, it's like the practice of it. Plus that X factor talent. Like, can you talk to people? But it is also like the studying, memorizing the producer in your ear like having your next question ready

like it's also a job right and those jobs they're so rare when they come up they usually go to like the next person in line waiting who's been doing it for years and that's not Laverne so I'm just I'm very curious to see how we start I know she'll be great but yeah it'll be interesting it will be interesting but we also won't see it till 2022 and like I just that's in so long and also I don't know if this is a story today but there's like awards drama there's awards drama because NBC will no longer be airing the Golden Globes I like feel that I feel it too like I hope this is a trend no I think it might when I saw it I'm like oh this is we've been talking about it for years how award shows are so like out of touch and outdated and they're on cable like Gen Z doesn't watch award shows like

nobody fucking cares so I think that this might be like the initial descent into whatever the next phase of award shows is because they just feel so outdated yeah or just another network will pick up the golden globes and it will just be I really don't hope so I really don't want it I really don't hope so I hope everyone's like yeah well can you imagine NBC like on a prime Sunday giving up three hours of their telecast for five people to tune in? No. That sucks. That's just bad business. Yeah, but it's not about the shitty numbers, which it really should be.

It's about controversy within the HFPA. Oh. What's the controversy? That there's a lack of diversity within the members of the foreign Hollywood. Hollywood Foreign Press. that there's a lack of diversity within the members of the foreign Hollywood, Hollywood Foreign Press Association, and other statements of controversy and stuff like that. Yeah.

So not about the ratings. Like I said, award shows are just kind of so out of touch. You know who should host the award shows? Elon Musk. He should host everything. Is this a piece of ice in my mouth or a strawberry? I can't see okay good i'm like i'm drinking the strawberry refresher and it's good but like these strawberries i don't like live fruit in my i don't like live fruit period no i agree i've had to like live fruit due to um my predicate eating plan what's dead fruit dead fruit i guess dried

oh yeah you know but i but I like fruit flavored. Like for example, I just had a blueberry yogurt and this brand did not put blueberries. Did you see my finger? That's the sugar from your dry fruit. Oh my God. Did you see that?

That's the sugar. I'm tremoring. Oh my God. I cannot. This whole journey with the Starbucks is like really fucking me up. That was weird. Yeah.

Oh my God. I do not like that. Um, what was I saying? Fruit. Not do not like that um what was i saying fruit not myself pretty good oh fruit so some yogurts like they put fruit in the like fruit pieces in the yogurt and like people really like that that's disgusting i think it's so twisted i can soggy i can stomach a blueberry and the blueberry favorite yogurt but a strawberry sick no also that's like um those fruit bars like uh popsicles that have real fruit in them like i'm not picking up an ice cream bar for real fruit sick sick and twisted yeah are you ready

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they smell so good every product is free of sulfates, parabens, dyes, mineral oils, and is certified by PETA as cruelty-free. So it's never too late to start taking care of your hair. The apple cider vinegar rinse is everything of the sort. All their products are made so well. They smell good, they feel good, and you will see a visible difference in the texture and the feel of your hair. So if you're looking for a nourished, healthy hair, it's got to be Hair Food. Look for it at Amazon, Walmart, and Target. That's Hair Food. Sold at Amazon, Walmart, and Target. Also pronounced Tar-jay. Love it. Okay. Welcome to the podcast industry, Dave Chappelle. Yes, I saw. His new podcast dropped at 12.01 a.m. on Tuesday called Midnight Miracle.

The comic hinted on social media that the podcast is coming out May 11th, but we hear more specifically it'll be available Tuesday, one minute after the clock strikes midnight. So that would have been like 10 hours ago. The luminary podcast from Chappelle, Talib, Quelly, and Yassine Bey was recorded during Chappelle's 2020 summer camp in his hometown of Yellow Springs, Ohio. The venue where it was recorded was dubbed The Shack,

a mechanic's garage retrofitted as a clubhouse. That's funny. So this is very exciting news for the podcast industry. It's huge. I mean, the king of comedy and stand-up is entering our little, you know, industry? Like, so, so exciting. So exciting. I think this was a great idea for Luminary or whoever.

It's a great get for them. Dave Chappelle is like a cultural icon. And honestly, there's so much going on in the world and you never really hear from Dave Chappelle, but he's so smart. And I always like, when things are going on, I'm like, what would Dave Chappelle say about this? And I think this podcast is hopefully moving forward

going to be that, just that. So I think this is great for a multitude of reasons it's great for the industry it's great for the consumer and it's just fabulous yes competition rewards the consumer this is great it's just really surprising I don't know why I'm so surprised like because I really he's so talented like he he does not need to serve up episodes once a week yet here he is about to do it it's surprising because Dave Chappelle's whole image is like this air of mystery. Like he doesn't really have a social media. He does shows every now and then. And they're always kind of underground.

He's very low key living in Ohio. So his whole brand is like, you can never find me. You don't know where I am. But a podcast is very, here's where I am. It's very exposure. Yeah. Which I think is, it's great. But you're right. It does seem I am. It's very exposure. Yeah, which I think is it's great. But you're right.

It does seem like an off-brand thing to do. But podcasting, for the most part, is mostly comedy. Like there's every comedian has a podcast. They kind of go hand in hand. Like when you say comedian and podcaster, that's like one job. You think so? Yes. I feel like not for the icons.

No, not for the icons. But for like the people on their not for like the people on their way up and the people on their way down yeah I don't know at the top I don't know if I'm on my way up or down I think it depends on the day for us 100% after the Miley thing yesterday I'm like so relevant I'm so relevant like the Gen Zers to the moon toast to the moon they didn't even know who I was and now they do like can you talk about a successful PR stunt? Yeah. Toast to the moon, baby. Yeah, no, you're right. But it just, it is a natural thing for people who are funny.

Podcast, that's like a natural next step, whether you're huge or not. So it does make sense. I'm just like surprised. In a good way. In a great way. Can't wait to listen. Can't wait to listen. Have you been listening to the Jume podcast?

No, I listened to some of it. But I didn't listen to listen have you been listening to the jamae podcast no i listened to some of it um but i didn't listen to all of it so if you guys don't know chris lilly who is an australian comedian who wrote summer heights high chris uh jamae private school girl jonah from tonga he's super funny he has all these different characters and he has a podcast now as one of his most successful characters who is jamae private school girl she's like this really bitchy high school australian teenager and the podcast was i listened to the first episode only i need to like catch up successful characters, who is Jemay, private school girl. She's like this really bitchy high school Australian teenager. And the podcast was, I listened to the first episode only. I need to like catch up.

I loved it. Like it was just so stellar and it was hysterical. And I miss Jemay all the time. Miss Jemay all the time. No, I don't listen to that many podcasts. Me neither. Because we're constantly podcasting. There's not that much time left.

And if I'm ever working out, I listen to music to music like but yesterday I got my eyelashes tinted that's a great time for me to listen to podcasts and the one podcast that I like so much that I'm always telling you is so funny yeah it's Sophia with an F yeah I feel like you guys have similar trends of humor she's just so so funny and so whenever I get a chance to listen to a podcast I usually go with hers or Joe Rogan depending on the guest the guest by the way Dave Chappelle was just on Joe Rogan but for me uh like if a podcast has a video component I'm watching the video I'm not listening as a podcast so his video only plays in the Spotify app on your phone and if you close it no but like I want to watch it on my TV because if I'm watching a video I don't want to watch on my phone I want to watch

on my TV but you can't watch the podcast video on the spotify app on your tv so it has to be a really specific instance where i have to like really go out of my way to be like i'm gonna sit down in front of my phone for three hours you can airplay it you have apple tv you just airplay your phone airplay spotify app yeah no just like screen mirroring your phone to the apple tv oh my gosh call me tim cook baby no call me tim cook i gave you the idea that's actually a really good idea screen mirroring your phone to the Apple TV. Oh my gosh. Call me Tim Cook, baby. No, call me Tim Cook. I gave you the idea. That's actually a really good idea.

Yeah, that is a good idea. So yeah, I really like Joe Rogan and Sophia with an F. Oh my God. By the way, I will definitely, when I have some time, listen to Dave Chappelle on Joe Rogan. That probably sounds fabulous. Yeah. Do you ever listen to other podcasts? No, but I did listen to a few episodes.

I think it's called Hey Babe with Chris DiStefano from Guy Code. He hosts a podcast with Sal from Impractical Jokers. I think, no, no, sorry, no, no. By the way, everyone's going to laugh at me. That's not, I wish I didn't say that. Like I actually want to die. That's not who it is. That's not who it is.

Hold on. Hold on. Just like, oh my God, I'm so mad. Sal. Oh no, Sal. Sal and Chris. Sal Vulcano. Is he from?

Yeah, he's from. Okay. Is he from Impractical Jokers? I don't know. Hold on, let me just look it up. Sal Vulcano, a comedian. Yeah, okay, okay, okay. He's, okay.

Oh my God, I feel so much better. And they had this sound go viral on TikTok because they put clips of their podcast up on TikTok and it was so funny. Chris DeStefano was talking about how he's like packing something up in Tupperware. And he called it Tupperware. And Sal was like, go back. What did you just say?

And he's like, Tupperware. Tupperware. And he's like, Tupperware. And he's like, tub. And he realized his whole life he's been saying Tupperware instead of Tupperware. And that's what got me into the podcast. This is a very long answer to your question. So I listened to a little bit of that podcast but I

really don't this besides TNN I don't really listen to a ton of other podcasts it's just based on the guests because between all the time we spend recording podcasts and listening to our editing in our wheelhouse like that's just all the podcast time you've got 100% but uh Lauren has a new episode out I think from last week that i haven't listened to yet with like a millennial dating coach which i am married but i think i need to listen to yeah i want to know like what the millennials need to know about dating like what's the latest and greatest i have no idea because i'm always giving dating advice to people but i'm not sure if it's outdated 100 it is you're literally the most like traditional person

um and i'm always giving dating advice to people when i have absolutely no right to be seeing as how I've been on one date in my life but you could argue that you're so good at dating that all it took was one date for you and all of a sudden snatched up married you could argue that but you wouldn't be wrong why because it was just like so good like but I did it and it was like messy and like honestly it was just like the universe really helping me out you know you think finding Ben on like day one that was just like a huge win from god like you don't think it could have been anyone on that date and you just would have like knocked it out of the park married no i don't think so either honestly yeah but um it's a fun fact about you yeah it's my you have a perfect dating record one for one hundred percent one for one okay ready for our next story it's a little

fashion news. As the fashionista, well, as the maxinista myself, I'm ready. No, you're going to be excited about this because House of Harlow, Nicole Richie's brand, just launched a collab with Sofia Richie. They're finally collabing. Oh, that's cute. For their first ever collaboration, the Richie sisters co-designed a spring collection for Nicole's fashion and lifestyle brand, House of Harlow.

The line available exclusively at Revolve. I didn't know that that was exclusive I did because it's the only place I wear a lot of House of Harlow it's very size inclusive and I have only seen it on Revolve and that's where I get it I didn't know that that was like a decision that was made I know it's smart coincidence offers pieces that reflect Nicole's signature 70s bohemian aesthetic and effortlessly cool designs inspired by Sofia's personal style. Like two of the most stylish gals on earth. But very different aesthetics. Yes.

Like Sofia is very like Gen Z, like Instagram modern. And Nicole has maintained this like flowy bow. That's why I like it. All the clothes are flowy. Boho, you know, gold jewelry vibe bangles since she started the brand. So I'm interested to see what the final product is going to be.

Yes. Nicole said, from the beginning of House of Harlow, I imagined it a place where my family would come and create if they ever felt a desire to. Sophia has an incredibly unique, cool, and effortless sense of style. And it felt natural to incorporate that feel into the spring collection. This is one of those things that now that it's happened, I'm like did this not happen sooner how did this not happen sooner I'm so excited to check it out yeah me too um speaking of Nicole reaching not to make it about you no I I think that we should make it about me so tell us what happened to you so I know you guys know I've been

doing this coffee review and I've told you guys yesterday how I meant for it to blow up on TikTok which it hasn't yet but I'll get there um but it's really blown up on my reels. Like almost all of them have been like hitting a million views, which is really great. And it's, you know, kind of attracting a lot of celebrity viewers. One of them being Nicole Richie, who asked me to try her beverage, which was a plain black hot coffee, which I did try this morning. The video is going to be up later. So when Nicole Richie says it, you'll drink it. Of course. Nicole Richie could literally tell me to eat Doody pureed with a splash of milk and I would be like, yum, this is delicious. I love milk.

I love milk and Doody. Ew. Yeah, I know. I just like thought of Doody in a blender. Stop. Stop. And then like splash of milk. So that video will be up like a little bit later.

But yeah, I don't know. I might be getting too famous for this show. Oh, okay. You might have to start finding my replacement. Okay. We should host a show, like... The Big Shot with Jackie O. That would actually be, like, a really cool, fun idea.

Yeah, when you, like, try out different people for a host, and, like, the different activities are, like, reading from a teleprompter, reading ad copy. No, but, like, or, like, we are vlogging together. Yeah. Like, just, like, some really fun stuff. That's a good idea. Such a great idea.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story? A little biz news. Merger news. Okay, but it sounds like since the fifth and final story is a little biz news, you do not have the Beverly Hills taglines as a story today. No, I don't. You're right. Can we just go through them really quickly?

Yeah, of course. I feel like that's what people want to talk about. No, you're so right. I'm so RDH. That's okay. And I'm so sorry about that. And I have a lot to say about all of them because i was like a little uninspired by all of them me too okay here we go kyle richards

this town is a game of chess but no one's taking this queen down it's fine it's very kyle richards for me it's perfection 10 out of 10 hits every point like references old taglines references old storylines like friends with you is like playing chess with bobby fisher yeah like in this town da da da yeah no it's so kyle if it's not a kyle tagline if it doesn't reference the town right i would have maybe liked to see her reference like family because her sister's coming on but it's fine oh that's true i didn't think about that still i'm giving it a 10 out of 10 that's a direct threat to kathy actually i'm gonna give it five out of five because i you think that's a direct threat to Kathy? Actually, I'm going to give it a 5 out of 5

because I think there should be 5 criteria and she hits them all. Okay, 5 out of 5. Lisa Rinna. Oh, 0 out of 5. I hated this one. My lips are legendary and they will never gloss over the truth.

I'll give it a 2. Yeah, it's just so played out at this point. And honestly, for the past few seasons, you actually have glossed over the truth because you like didn't want to be like the big drama's queen anymore she made a conscious decision to kind of pull that back in so it's not entirely factually accurate unless she's like not glossing over the truth when it comes to erica we'll see what we shall see garcelle if you want a starring role in my life you better drop the act that's pretty cute like i'm gonna give it a

four it's a nice play on words i'm gonna give it a three I just really liked hers last season life's an audition and honey I am getting that part yeah it was just great um so this is like a little bit of a step down for me Dorit this one hurts yeah dressed like there's no tomorrow and then tomorrow do it again so I would have given this a four if I hadn't given Dorit the most perfect tagline on a silver platter. And I'm just going to comment section. I'm just going to assume. And I know that she saw it because she then used it as a caption.

I'm going to assume that they had already recorded their taglines and it was too late because mine was better. Mine was, I may not always be on time, but I'm always on point. No, it's really good. Because she's always late and she always looks amazing. This Dorit one, like, honestly, I think you're giving like way too high scores this is also like a three out of five they're not bad but they're just not great they're yeah they're not great Sutton anyone who doubts my exquisite manners can kiss my exquisite derriere okay I didn't like the way she pronounced derriere

in the thing it's like derriere and I don't know I just like didn't like it either like I like the homage to her southern roots I just think it could have been worded more playfully it doesn't sound right more playfully and like more eloquently yeah it sounds weird I agree and also like if she's talking about her manners she's also talking about her derriere it's like a little oxymoron hello yeah hot you're the kettle up you're black crystal yeah oh crystal yes Hollywoodllywood is full of pretenders and i slay them all what's with the slay like is that a is her husband like i'm trying to think there's a reference there i don't know i feel like we have to see the the season to know like are people

pretending around in the season okay because that sucks and she's slaying them that sucks okay but maybe if i understand yeah no so without context maybe they own a sleigh company like i don't know i'm trying to figure it out fifth i'm sorry that's not the fifth fifth and final story erica jane oh the strongest substance on earth isn't diamonds it's me okay i also have to give that like a one out of five what does that even mean and i like the message because it's going to be a difficult season for her and she is very mentally tough and strong and she will get through it message of erica jane is strong i endorse execution i approve this message but execution zero it stinks like and and the thing is is that beverly hills it's the crown

jewel like and they the editing the outfits the trips the teasers like it's all always top tier and this was like for me it's okay I would say overall the taglines get a three out of five yeah I agree um also whenever we talk about taglines now I don't know why like you know a tagline is living in my head rent free which I may be cut from a different cloth but it's top quality fabric every time i hear that on housewives i cringe a little i literally chuckle every single time speaking of new jersey is on tonight can't wait um no there's so many like ones that live completely rent free in my mind and a lot of them are from beverly hills because they really set the standard I fought too hard for this zip code to go home now that is the most desperate of all time I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle and cash and that was such a strong this year it should have been I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle

with no cash legal bills no I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle. And lawsuits. And I need cash. So sad. No, I mean, I feel like Erica is. Going to be fine. Going to be fine. I feel like the buzz around it is probably bigger than like what she's probably going through.

Yeah. But I feel like she is really stronger than diamonds. No, she's. I feel like she really is the strongest substance in the world. Sounds like she's just putting together like a science equation, you know? Justice for the science fair. Justice for the science fair. Maybe that'll be one of her storylines.

She's entering in the science fair to prove what the strongest substance in the world is. It's just like really literal, you know? And then Jackie Goldschneider is also. And she shows up and she's like, you might have the strongest substance in the world, but I've got the top quality fabric. Why does that one make me laugh so hard? Because it's also the way that she says it.

And you can hear she's like smiling as she's recording it because she's so proud of herself. And it's top quality fabric. It's honestly so lame it's so lame let me like no they're all so bad also ever since we did a deep dive on freedom never tasted so good what oh theresa yeah by the way if you guys are interested in this conversation we actually did a little while ago on the Patreon I'd like deep dive on housewives taglines every housewives tagline of all time we did two episodes over a hundred minutes of us talking about housewives taglines dissecting the person the tagline their journey yeah their family remember Lynn from OC

like there's just so many you forget about yeah So if you want this conversation to go into the archives, patreon.com slash the morning toast. It's also just a great way to support the toast. Always. Are you ready for our fifth and final? The little biz news that's brought to you by BetterHelp. Yep. Is there something interfering with your happiness

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Today's episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, and the Morning Toast listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash toast. Love it. Okay, the final story. It's a little biz news. It's a little mergers and acquisitions news. Oh, who's merging and acquiring?

Barnes & Noble owner is buying stationary retailer Paper Source out of bankruptcy. Not Papyrus. Oh, that's what I was going to say. Papyrus' cousin, Paper Source. Papyrus' cousin, Paper Source. Is Papyrus still in business? I feel like we reported in our old studio. That it's not looking good.

Yeah. I haven't seen one that's up and at them in a while i mean talk about since paper source is so similar to papyrus like obviously papyrus holds a special place in my heart but i just need to make sure that there is a there can only be one i think it should have been papyrus but elliot investment management the owner of barnes and noble the owner of toaster strudel said tuesday it will acquire gift and stationary retailer paper source the acquisition will provide paper source with the funding it needs to emerge from chapter 11 bankruptcy well talk about a tough business to be in selling books and

stationary via retail i mean this guy just has a death wish like it's he must be the most stressed man in america he's definitely the least stressed man in in America because if he was working in a Barnes and Noble then he has a definite sense of calm and I think with this move to buy paper source shows that he's like a man of taste like I'm sure that this man is actually the most calm man in America. No that's fair I hope that the Barnes and Noble corporate office emulates the same kind of vibes that the Barnes and Noble retail stores do because as a published author myself who has spent many time in the last couple months and Barnes and Nobles where my book is available Girl With No Job The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster I can really speak to how peaceful they are. Yeah so I'm here for this like we need stationery stores they're so beautiful

stunning and smart. And like the Pinterest moms like they need it like there's a real community of people. There there really is and I would just be sad if all of them went out i mean hopefully someone can rescue papyrus i hope it's not too late honestly like jeff bezos should buy it like just throw us a bone here i throw me a freaking bone here i totally agree like just do it just do it no he's gonna start popping up amazon stationary stores like how they put so many barnes and nobles out of business and then like slapped in the face with an Amazon bookstore. Yeah. But like Amazon stationery would never have the heart and soul of papyrus no matter how hard he tried.

No matter how many Chanel bags you have. You borrow, you will never be a lady. That's such a good point. I'm so glad you brought that up. I just feel like every now and then I remember that I'm a New York Times bestselling author. And it's just like a nice feeling. You know, I feel like I don't talk about it enough. And you guys probably think I talk about it so much.

But I don't know. I just feel like I wanted to mention it again today. I don't know if you guys know. I'm on New York Times. Because we might have someone watching for the first time. Maybe a Miley Stan. And just know when you are calling her Shrek. And a fat. That you should also add New York Times bestselling fat.

Bestselling Shrek. New York Times bestselling fat Shrek. Okay York Times bestselling fat Shrek, okay? And I will be referred to as nothing else. Don't get it twisted. Honestly, you know what? Justice for Shrek. Totally. He was a nice boy.

He was so nice. Thoughtful. Landowner. Paid his own rent and minded his own business. Didn't need help from anyone. Didn't have rich parents who owned another local swamp. No. He took over that swamp all on his own business. Didn't need help from anyone. Didn't have rich parents who owned another local swamp. No. He took over that swamp

all on his own. And he took that annoying ass donkey under his wing. He rescued animals. Protected him. He cared about our furry friends. What more could you want out of a man?

And he loved Fiona no matter what she looked like at the night and the day with the green skin. You know, he didn't care. He didn't care. Love is blind. That's what Shrek said Shrek was blind um yeah no I'm just like done with like Shrek being like the punching bag for fat people you know no I think Shrek is a

compliment I think he's a wonderful man he has layers and you know what like he's cutie major cutie sorry I'm a chubby chaser no and it, what, I'm supposed to want Lord Farquaad? No, yeah, like the short. Egotistic. Karen haircut. We had the Karen haircut. Yeah, wants to talk to the manager. Always. No, like, please.

Like, let's stop using Shrek. Stop shaming Shrek. No, let's stop using Shrek as a projection of our fatphobic rhetoric. Well, you know what? Here's it from a different angle. What if that Miley stan feels the same way about trek and it was a compliment and it was a compliment look how negative we are just assuming it was negative landowner who loves her furry friends oh my god that is me even though i rent you know what i mean yeah for sure um that is our show

correct that's our show it's nobody else's people might try and say i don't know one person who would they might be associated with this they might say like no that was my show no it's our show our show thank you so much for listening to the morning toast the millennial morning show where we deliver the best stories that you need to know every morning before you wake up in the morning wait what before you wake up and take a bite of your morning toast um you can i just fucked the whole thing up basically just go leave a podcast review the miley stands attacked our reviews and are probably writing mean things about Fat Shrek. So if you're a real toaster, can you just write a review

because they're going to try and take us down things. Yeah, that would be actually really kind of you. And you could also watch this on YouTube and airplay it to your TV. Yes, I don't know if you guys knew that. Have a great day, everyone. We'll see you tomorrow for Hump Day. Damn, I almost said Friday.

Oh, no. Good luck. Sorry. Bye.