The Toast - S4 Ep98: Claudia Explains It All: Wednesday, June 2nd, 2021

Episode Date: June 2, 2021

Friends Reunion Recap Miles Teller's wife corroborates claim he was jumped by two strangers in Hawaii (Page Six) John Krasinki responds to Amy Schumer's joke that his marriage to Emily Blunt is for publicity (CNN Entertainment) E. L. James talks about 'Freed,' latest book in 'Fifty Shades' series (GMA) The Cybersecurity 202: The meat industry is the latest to be thrown into chaos by ransomware (Washington Post) Real Housewives of New York Recap Dear Toasters Advice Segment The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Morning Toast. Happy Wednesday. It is already hump day. We love a short week here at the Morning Toast. We love it so much. It's a hump day and I am sitting next to Du, and so I just feel so full. Aroused. Would you agree? My heart is full. And aroused. And aroused. And my heart is aroused. Welcome back. we have been gone for quite some time we apologize for that but it feels good you know it also feels like no time has passed it was just the other day we were sitting here sans makeup yes oh my god how crazy were we we did no makeup and we had so much hope in front of us you know a long weekend on the horizon

and you know what we have to acknowledge the space that we're in it is wednesday already like we only have like you know two and a half more days of work, you guys. We're almost at the weekend. We've been in worse spaces before. So even though you would think, like, we're back from the long weekend, the long weekend gave us, you know, a shorter week. For us, it was shorter. But for most people, it was still short.

Yeah. I mean, it's... We love a shorty. And it's, like, June. Like, we just, like, strolled in. We just... Right into June. Right into June. Right into June.

Right into Pride Month. Happy Pride to all of our LGBTQ plus toasters. Hope you have an amazing month and life. I can't believe it's June. I know. That's a curveball. That is something I just really didn't see coming. Even though these things are, you know, planned out in a calendar.

Yes. And they're the same every year. I know. They never change. But yet they always feel different. But June just snuck up on us. It's really summer. It's 70 degrees and sunny.

The construction has officially moved away from our windows, so we are feeling very grateful, humbled, honored. For some peace and quiet. And we have a great show. I mean, it's Wednesday. That means it's Dear Toasters, and we have an update for you guys, which we're really excited about. That'll be later in the show.

We've got the Real Housewives of New York recap, and we have so many other recaps because so much happened over the weekend. The Friends reunion. There was just lots to unpack I watched so much tv we have the friends reunion as a story but I finished the big shot with Bethany okay spoiler alert do you want to know who won did you watch any of it yeah I watched like four episodes it gets like less and less like I mean if it's not the person who I want it to be I forget her name I forget her name Meloxy yeah don't okay you know what I'll watch it I really hope she won honestly I'm gonna watch it I it did end up being like a big fat fucking waste of time like it was funny in the beginning think that it wasn't gonna be in the beginning I was living for it and then it just

got like she was so chaotic she brought people back fired people new person like there was no structure to the show and she had said that in the beginning like that's just the type of business person she is and I respect that but like as a tv show like I need a little bit more structure I hear you but it was a good like nonsense I'll watch it at some point I didn't watch any tv this weekend I was reading by the way new episode of the redheads drops tomorrow we're recording it tonight so get your questions in the redheads book club at gmail.com I did not plan my reading calendar properly and I started a book on the plane on the way to Dallas and I was like looking for a book to read and I should have fucking started the redheads book because I didn't even

get to finish the other one now I'm started right I'm 50% in and the book is so good I know I have to speed through it so it's like I want to enjoy it but I can't this is Claire Crawley energy it's just so it's so chaotic and so but for you guys like you should read the book and enjoy it and then listen to the episode when it drops yeah um i didn't get a chance to read really much this weekend either i was just like busy you know did you finish that book uh where the grass is green no i made it about 30 we made it about i made it 28 when i decided no thank you. Yeah. What's it called where the grass is green?

Green and the girls are pretty. First of all, I had no idea what it was about. So when I learned it was kind of like an adaptation of a real life, you know, scandal, the college admissions scandal, I was like, oh, it's kind of like a played out scandal already. And it's only like two years old. And then like the daughter, right when I ended it, the daughter like put up a vlog before she knew like her dad was arrested. Spoiler alert. And I was like, this is like Olivia Jade.

I was just like, I don't know. Part of me like feels like, hasn't Olivia Jade been through enough? Like we're going to really be like, you know, punching her again, making her like the, I don't know if that's what the book is about, like the vlog. Yeah. But I was just getting like Olivia Jade vibes. And I was just like, the story has been told many times. Yeah was I was good without it which just wasn't for me so it's been like just a crazy week of reading for me yeah it's been like a crazy week of travel for me I did

survive and I am here therefore you will not have to look for replacements oh I'm glad but I am glad that I gave you know my eulogy just in case because I really do want then you felt prepared and you probably felt very much at peace at peace because I'm like I have I am glad that I gave, you know, my eulogy just in case. Because I really do want people to know. Then you felt prepared and you probably felt very much at peace. At peace because I'm like, I have like a last will and testament on this last episode. If anything happens to me, you know, you know who to replace me with. Everyone knows how much I've loved my time here. But I made it. So the eulogy was really for nothing. But it really was very scary.

I have flown to the Hamptons one time before and I refused to take a helicopter. I just don't fuck with that but seaplanes are more safe because they fly over the water than helicopters and I hadn't taken it in a few years and the second I got on the plane I had like a reminder of the feeling I had deja vu of the feeling I had when I first took it and how I made a promise to myself that first time that I would never do it again yet here I was doing it again and I was like I was so mad at myself I literally wanted to get get off. It was so scary. And I flew with TPG obviously. And he was cool as a cucumber. Like this man, it was crazy how he was completely unphased. It was unnatural, you know, like the takeoff is so bumpy on the water and it was a gorgeous day too. Like there

shouldn't have been an ounce of turbulence, but it was literally like a soda can shaking it up before you, like it was so chaotic. But at the end of the day, it was door to a soda can shaking it up before you like it was so chaotic but at the end of the day it was door-to-door service in an hour like how can you beat that to the Hamptons on Memorial Day weekend yeah but the price is high it's your life potentially yeah you know how expensive price you know how I felt about it I know which was that I just didn't think it was it was an unnecessary treacherous risk on a treacherous road but it rained the whole weekend and the only nice day in the Hamptons that was like pool weather was Thursday and if I'd drone out I wouldn't have drove out I wouldn't have

made it to like three four o'clock so I ended up getting there at 11 and I had the whole day to swim I don't know if I can tell maybe I got a little tan like it was she does look tan and then it rained for three days straight which I was talking about how like I was having a lot of anxiety about like all the chaos that would ensue in the Hamptons if the weather was nice and I literally didn't see anyone because it rained the whole time oh nice you bypassed it I you know what and I really wasn't upset that's nice yeah I'm happy for you I'm happy you had the best of both worlds I did I really did it was a lovely weekend nice to be with TPG take some time off very nice and i made it back alive and that's at the end of the day truly all that matters all you can ask for really all you

can hope for um i was at my sister-in-law's wedding this weekend which was so beautiful and so much fun and now i'm like sick i can you tell my voice yeah okay i don't know because i don't know what i sound like which is why i think I have a beautiful singing voice. No, I caught a cold in the middle of the party. And then I've just been having a cold ever since. There's this thing going around. Post-COVID, I had it and I gave it to you. And then I think you also gave it to Margo. Sorry, Snatchler.

And then I saw it on TikTok. A lot of people are getting mysterious colds. It's like, you think it's allergies. It's not COVID. I just think it's this post-COVID thing where we've been in our houses for so long like not exposed to any germs like you go on the subway and you immediately catch like this weird cold that's going around yeah definitely and I also think that just with the seasons changing like it happens but I I thought I already paid my dues to the cold man yeah you know like two weeks ago

when I had a cold but here I am with another one But I think I'm on the down part of it. I think I already passed the hump, which is good. But now I just have this sticky, sticky shoes. My sticky, sticky shoes. We have to talk about the Friends reunion. Okay. Do you want to talk about it? Yeah.

I mean, is it a story? It is a story. So we should talk about it. And do you want to show everyone what I got you speaking of the Friends reunion? I got her a little present because I'm always thinking of her. Jackie went to Ulta and found the Friends reunion. I got her a little present because I'm always thinking of her. Jackie went to Ulta and found the Friends X Makeup Revolution collab.

And while I don't, I didn't like die for any of the palettes, I don't really even wear eyeshadow, they made a mirror that's a lobster. He's her lobster. So it's a handheld mirror.

And I'm so excited because I love using handheld mirrors. It's a big ass one. You can really never have enough. You can't have enough. So I was just always thinking of you, always wondering, like, what would Claudia, what would make Claudia happy?

Like, how can I brighten Claudia's day? That is like so nice because like, I love you, but I don't really think that. But then when you told me you got me something, I was like, oh my God, I should get her something. But I literally did not leave my house. You don't need to get me something. I just would like to see you bring it home from the studio. I'll bring this home 100%. Because you know, the inner peace puzzle that I got her is still here at the studio.

And that fucking cuts deep. Well, because you just never know when we're going to get locked in here or something. And we'll need to do a puzzle, you know? Yeah, I guess you never know. You never know. And I'm constantly being prepared. Like preparedness is one of my personality traits. Okay, cool.

Yeah. Cool. So sorry, I didn't get you anything. No, that's not why I did it. Don't get gifts like with an expectation for someone to get you something. Like I guess, but that's pretty much the only reason I get someone a gift. No, like I know that's not true about you. No, it's not.

I do like giving gifts, but also. I'm sure if you saw something that just screamed me, like you would get it. Of course. But you just haven't been moved like that. I also just don't go anywhere. Like that's the hard part, you know? Yeah. And if I do go somewhere, it's like just to get like drinks and you don't really even drink anymore. So what am I going to do? been moved like that. I also just don't go anywhere. Like, that's the hard part, you know? Yeah. And if I do go somewhere, it's, like, just to get, like, drinks.

And you don't really even drink anymore. So what am I going to do? Get you, like, a... Bring me back a drink. Like a sparkling water. I got home on Monday. And I had such a traumatic day yesterday. It was top ten, one of the worst days in these years.

Oh, I am aware. There was a lot of rain in Manhattan over the last couple days. I was gone from my house for about five days. And when I woke up on Tuesday morning, I went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee and I was going to do a whole coffee review. And what do I see on my kitchen floor? I see a quote unquote water bug. It's a roach dead on its back.

And I'm like, holy fuck. Like that's one of those things where your earth, like wall like it just it shatters everything so I run into the bedroom to get my phone and then I'm like what is that under my chair like somebody caught my eye another roach belly up so I'm like holy shit it's an infestation and so I a couple pictures. I called my handyman to help me dispose of them because I really just could not do it. And then I had to call an exterminator. An exterminator that I, I have, we're very on top of our extermination needs. Like I have an exterminator come once a month, but I couldn't get in touch with him. So I just called like a random company and they couldn't get there till seven.

So I had to wait. This was like 11 a.m. I had to wait from like 11 a.m I had to wait from like 11 a.m till 7 like in a home that I felt personally victimized by like I sat the entire day in the middle of my bed so that like no you know bug could like crawl up my leg or something like I sat in the middle of my bed I had had plans to have such a productive day I did not do one thing I was like I was fearing for my life in my own home and it's just the worst fucking feeling was Theo there?

Yes, but like he was just like kind of feeding off of my energy, which was very, you know, terrorized. So the exterminator came, you know, we laid the traps, we sprayed, we didn't find any more, which was good. They say things to make you feel better. You know, like when it rains and the types of roaches. That's true also. and the types of roaches that's true also when the types of uh roaches that i have water bugs are excuse me are very common when it rains a lot and they can come up your drains so they said the fact that they were dead is great means there's not an infestation it just means like you know someone else exterminated them from their home and they came to your house to die like so i don't really

know what to do about it i feel so unsafe in my own home. And there's no worse feeling than that. There's only one thing you can do, really. And that's move. No, I think I can also burn my house down and take... Actually, roaches can survive like a nuclear war, right? Yeah, you just have to move. I think the solution for you is on street easy. Yeah, the thing is...

And I think it's time for you to go. I mean, you've had a wonderful time there. But it's become clear that this place is not for you. Well, I... Listen, I have been wanting to move move I've been talking about that for like a few months and if I find something I will move but I made peace like literally two weeks ago I'm like I'm not gonna move I just made a large you know I just spent a large sum of money on something and I was like to kind of reconcile that I was like I'm not gonna move therefore you know like it all evens out even though like it definitely doesn't um and now I'm I'm left with a true Deandra's

choice because I have to move or I have to like burn my entire building down no but then you still would have to move because you wouldn't have a place to live so why should the building suffer that's true why can't you just leave and then I could like would be potentially putting others in danger right and then like I'm sure like the insurance company would see this episode yeah like oh it's fraudulent we know we know who did it fraudulent yeah so I'm in a tough spot I really am and I just I can't sleep like you know when you feel like a mouse on you but there's like nothing there I just woke up feeling very irritated it's been a true nightmare like to be me yeah no I I feel that and so I mean I personally really like roadway I think they're're a great moving company. And I'll send you links of apartments if I see them. Please do. It's just

like so frustrating because I'm like, you know what, now I need to move out of the city. Because the city is just filled with like roaches and rats and mice. But it's like, no matter where you go, there are regional rodents, you know? Like, Florida has lizards. There's cicadas and snakes. Alligators. Yeah. Wait, did you see the mouse at Whole Foods? Excuse me?

No. At Whole Foods in Manhattan. Anyone see this? No. You know how they have, like, those displays of meat, like, because they have a butcher there? Okay. There was a mouse, like, nibbling on the meats in the glass case at Whole Foods. Oh, I did see that.

That's disgusting. I did see that. That's disgusting. I did. So it's time to leave New York City. No and I feel like there's time so many people running for mayor now and none of them are really kind of addressing like wanting to tackle this particular issue and of course there's so many issues in the city like where does one begin. Where do you begin. But I do feel like there's something that needs to be done about like the incestant rodent problem yeah I don't know what what that is but you know what I also feel like I feel like while we were all at home for the year like locking down the rodents and the pigeons like ruled the streets they ruled this town it's their town and they're not going home they worked too hard for the zip code

to go home now and they're not going home now and so I feel like now that the people are back out again it's like we're encountering all of gang violence like literally the two gangs like fighting for turf you're 100 right like remember a year ago there was those stories about like the super rats because it was rat eat rat crime out there rat world it was a ratty rat world so the rats only the strongest survived and now that's who we're up against yeah i'm telling you you guys are going to start encountering more and more of these creatures more and more rat violence no it's it's fucking terrible and i really i know there's a mayoral race coming up and i don't feel like any canada is really tackling this issue i feel like the mayoral race hasn't heated up yet i've been like i haven't been all in on paying

attention i just hear like things here and there i see barbara cavavit uh barbara cavavit i see some commercials um but i do feel like after the summer, things are really going to heat up because it is a little early still. But I really look forward to seeing what everybody has to put out there. To bring to the table. I'm really, really excited. And if anybody wants to, you know, get into the hearts of millions of New Yorkers, like let's start talking about the true issues of our city. The rodents. Yeah. That's just a suggestion. Among the others. Amongst the millions. There's, honestly, it's daunting. I don't know who would want to be mayor of New York. Like we have so

many problems. Yeah. They're inheriting like the worst city, the worst the city's been in years. Yeah. So good luck to everyone. We'll be paying attention. I'm really excited to see what you guys bring to the table. Pay attention, please. We have an amazing show. I really feel like we should just jump right in. I think we should get right into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast and today's episode is brought to you by blue nile.com at blue nile.com you can celebrate all of life's special moments from creating custom engagement ring of her dreams to gifting a once-in-a-lifetime piece all at prices you will never you won't find at a traditional jeweler. So BlueNile.com has the

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Free service and repairs for life. I mean, that's just. That's a deal. That's a deal. Okay, first story, Friends Reunion. Here's how much money the cast of Friends made for the reunion versus season one. Okay. So season one, I don't know if you know this, they each made about $22,500 per episode.

Okay, well that's still a lot. Do you want to go through every season, or do you just want to know Reunion? No, they were the first people on TV to make a million dollars an episode. Yeah, so then season two, they reportedly made between $22,500 and $40,000, and at the time, Rachel and Ross were making more than the others. Really? Yes, but then at season three, they all were making about $75,000. Jennifer Aniston said in an interview,

at the time, she said, the negotiations were more about, we're doing equal work, and we all deserve to be compensated in the same way. I wouldn't feel good going to work knowing someone was getting X amount, and I was getting something greater. And also, like, she wasn't better than anyone,

or more of a star than anyone else. Like, they really all, and that's what I really liked about the Friends reunion was they gave such a, like an interesting, so I know a lot of people were like not happy with it because I think they wanted like an episode. Yeah. And that's what I was expecting as well,

but I can't even explain like how relieved I was that it wasn't that. One, because it wouldn't have been good. Yeah. And two, they gave a very clear explanation. James Corden asked like if they would do a, like a movie or like another, you know, reunion special. And they were like, no. And the creators basically explained, like, they tied up the show in such a nice way. Like, everyone really got tucked away nicely. You know, Monica and Chandler moved to the suburbs. Phoebe met Mike, who was Paul Rudd, who was not there, which was very bizarre. Like, his absence was felt. who was Paul Rudd, who was not there, which was very bizarre. Like his absence was felt.

Um, Rachel and Ross finally got back together and Joey was like, you know, being Joey. And why would they unravel that in order to have a storyline? Like it gives people who love the show peace of mind. Like everyone is living their best lives in Connecticut, you know? And also what they had said was that the premise of the show was that time in your life where your friends are your family. And the show ended at a time where like they were all having babies, getting married, where like your family is your family. So for the show Friends to exist in a time other than those like special seven years is not the point. And then they also said, back to my original point, was that the show was like the first of its kind to have an ensemble cast. Like everyone was a star. There wasn't, it wasn't the Rachel show. It wasn't the Jennifer Aniston show. It was was really and that's why people are like I'm a Phoebe I'm a because everyone related in some way even

ensemble shows like Sex and the City like Carrie's a star like you really can't say who the star I mean I could if I wanted to but who do you think well I did read an article once like who was the star of Friends and based on how much time they had time they had and dialogue and the person who had the most time and dialogue was Ross and I actually would agree that Ross um maybe not the star but was like it's just a personality thing like I think that Phoebe and Ross were so perfectly cast and what's crazy is that in the special they went through the casting thing and the producers of the show the creators had known David Schwimmer before for like a an audition and they didn't think he was right for it but they thought he was hilarious and so they

wrote ross for him and that's why i feel like ross is so ross because the role was like literally written kind of how like evan hansen was written for ben platt you know so it's so ross and phoebe and they didn't mention this in the special which i thought was weird but phoebe's character was cast as ellen deeneres and then something happened and Ellen got her own show or something and she gave up the role and Lisa Kudrow got it so but for me like Phoebe made Lisa Kudrow made Phoebe so her own it also felt like it was written for her but it wasn't yeah so there was like interesting tidbits in the whole special um but sorry back to your article they made three million dollars each right they made about two and a half million dollars each yeah and then when the credits

rolled they were all also executive producers so they definitely made more than that yeah even more than that and initially they were offered a million dollars each but they turned that down really so what were your thoughts on the special i really liked it i mean don't get me wrong like i'm so negative so there were so many moments that like was were so losery like and i liked that it was long and I felt like I wish more of the airtime was dedicated to like, you know, more bloopers, more, you know, Tom Selleck showed up, like more guest stars, but they had so many like celebrities just kind of like explaining what friends meant to them. And I just like, honestly, like David Beckham, like, you know, he travels all the time. And like when he gets in his hotel room, like he watches friends, it makes him feel at home. And like,

that's actually how I feel. Like when I'm on the road and like when he gets in his hotel room like he watches friends it makes him feel at home and like that's actually how I feel like when I'm on the road and like I watch friends like I feel like I'm back in my bedroom like I really relate to that but I just don't care you know and then it was like Mindy Kaling love you don't care and then you know they had Malala and her friend and they were like this is why we're friends sweet don't care like there was just so much like unnecessary like celebrity moments so they had this segment like iconic um outfits from friends like where certain episodes like Ross has this episode about his leather pants where he's on a date with a girl he's wearing these tight pants and he goes to pee and he can't get his pants back on and they have a fashion show of like all the iconic fashion um and like

Cara Delevingne modeled in it Cindy Crawford modeled in it Justin Bieber modeled in it and like okay yes maybe a good idea on paper but I so didn't care like I'm just like take me back to the friends like yeah I felt like they just wasted so much time on things that weren't about the six castmates and James Corden got a lot of you know people just don't like James Corden and um I actually do like him and I thought he did a fine job he didn't bother me like making it about himself like which a lot of people do. But there were great moments. So I don't want to focus on the negative ones because overall I was, like, really entertained the whole time.

I was a little upset we didn't get any Paul Rudd, who is the guy who ended up with Phoebe. But they did have Tom Selleck come on, which was just delightful. Like, Margot, I was watching with Margot Ostrich. She was, like, losing her mind. They had Gunther, who, like, couldn't make it, so he was on via zoom and I'm like Gunther like get on the plane like yeah the biggest thing you've ever done like get on the plane um and then they had Janice too and it was just nice to see like how they all interacted with like these celebrities um and they all seem like really nice people like I don't know I don't think there's any you know diva-like behavior going on because everyone they seem like really good friends and they were so

nice to everyone like they remembered everyone's names like it was just like nice and they were all getting emotional and it was sweet I did get like a little choked up at the end because it was just like really sweet look at her it was I actually really liked it and I was surprised that a lot of people didn't like it because it just wasn't what people were expecting yeah but I think it's like a great new format. Like not everything needs to be a reboot. Like sometimes it's nice to just get together and chat. Yeah.

And that's what it was. Now there's a lot of stories like being published about Matthew Perry. Yes, I was going to ask you. So did I think he sounded weird? Yes. Did he act weird? No. And so the story that he came out and said is that like he had major dental surgery

a few days before and that's why he sounded weird Zac Efron tried it you guys no I know but I do have to say like he wasn't acting bizarre he was just sounding bizarre so like the dentist story like kind of tracks like but they also he was like barely in it like he didn't say anything so I feel like maybe they cut a lot of his stuff out like and I just think people are worried because he's openly you know struggled with addiction and he's sober and he even had a tv show right about like um yeah also I read this morning that him and his fiancee broke up yes so maybe he's just going through a tough time and it wasn't great timing for him yeah um but it made me sad I don't believe dental surgery like again hasn't worked

had the biggest thing in years we're gonna go to get our but he also did have like big teeth so like no to do it like a week before the special of a lifetime you're getting paid two and a half million dollars i mean two and a half million dollars to these people is absolutely nothing no some of them i think that's a big day no literally like every year when there are these lists of like top paid tv they're on it every year just for like syndication and netflix but they it every year just for like syndication and Netflix. But they're making like just in like licensing

and royalties and this stupid collab, you know, like they're making like $20 million a year. They're on the sucker who bought it. It's fabulous.

But they're fine financially. I know, but $2.5 million, like don't get your teeth done a week before. 100%. That's what happened. And it's not.

Yeah, so there's just like like, something going on there. He was just giving me, like, sad vibes, you know? I feel like everyone was really, really excited to be there. And the one, like, I don't even remember anything he said memorably except for that. They filmed in front of a live studio audience, and they really said, like, that was, it was, like, basically doing, like, a theater every night. And it really made you want to, like, do better and have the joke land. And Matthew Perry's character, and I guess he was kind of like this in real life is like joke joke joke joke jokes like he's just like an annoying like jokester you know and if he said a joke that you know the audience

in real life like didn't laugh at like it really chipped away at him and he was like really struggling with that and everyone when he said that just went kind of like quiet and Phoebe was like you never told us that like so it was just obvious that he struggled with a lot internally on the show yeah stuff we know about and stuff we also didn't know about so he was just giving me like sad energy and I like I actually felt sad for him because he really did not say anything yeah that's really sad I mean I'm with him I think the studio audience had to go that's my biggest gripe I know but you know, but, you know, like, the laugh track that they, I think, that they use in the show is not the studio audience because, like, I just, it wasn't matching up for me.

Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I hear you. But I did love it, and I just wish we talked a little bit more about, like, you know, what's been going on with them. Like, it's taken them so, because at the end they were like, what have you taken away from this experience? And they were like, it shouldn't ever be this long before we're all in a room together again. And I know that the girls hang out.

And I think that there's a lot of weirdness. I just, what I've heard is that it comes from, like, David Schwimmer. But he was, like, being, like, so friendly. But, like, maybe he's just a good actor. Yeah. There was, I just wanted to know, like, well, why haven't you guys, like, been together? Why have there been so much, like, weird rumors? Like, what's the truth?

Yeah. We weren't getting into that. I understand. One other little bombshell that they did drop is that Rachel and Ross like in real life were like majorly crushing on each other the first few seasons um and it was just like bad timing because like she was in a relationship then he was in a relationship and so they never actually got together but and their first kiss like was on the show which was weird but it ended up being so great like if they had they had been together, none of the cast dated at all,

which is, like, kind of rare. And that perhaps is why the show was so successful for so long, because when people break up, it gets weird, and then they have to date in the show, but then they want to, you know. But they never ended up dating, so it never created any sort of, like, weirdness, and it actually ended up being for the best. Interesting. But I was like, maybe I'm like, you're both single now, are you?

Like, maybe we, I don't know if they are. I don't know who David Schwimmer, like, does in his personal life, but I'm like, I don't know, maybe now's the time know who david schirmer like does in his personal life but i'm like i don't know maybe now's the time yeah i mean they all are like so old like it's crazy like seeing the bloopers and then because they look the same but they look so different yeah yeah interesting okay i'm glad you liked it i loved it i would like honestly i would watch it again oh and another cameo that was excellent that I what didn't mind probably the only one was Lady Gaga she came with Phoebe and they performed smelly cat and then they had this gospel choir come which is like a reference to an old episode and it was so funny and then Lady Gaga made this like nice little

speech basically Phoebe was like you know the weird quirky one she was into like tarot cards and shit and Lady Gaga was like thank you so much for being like you know the different one and like making it cool to be weird and then Lisa Kudrow was like oh my god that's so nice thank you and and thank you for carrying that on it was like a passing of the torch it was lovely it was really sweet there were a few cute sweet moments there was definitely some losery ones like Camton I like honestly Cindy Crawford should know better like it was really embarrassing for her um Cara Delevingne too not once but she came out on the runway twice like she was the only model who went twice like it was it was loser yeah I'm not gonna lie so all the models like models that we know yeah no there was like only the thing is it was a fashion show with four looks Cara Delevingne Cara Delevingne

Justin Bieber and Cindy Crawford Cindy Crawford oh and then Matt Perry did one which was funny yeah um it was just like there were a lot of things taking me away from the cast. I'm like, no, let's bring it back. Got it. That's who we are all here for. We've waited 17 years. Like, let's bring it back. Got it. That's really funny.

Okay, cool. Thank you for that very in-depth recap. I feel like I watched it. And justice for Paul Rudd. Like, where the fuck was he? Well, he could have, I'm sure he could have been there. So it's justice for everybody else that he wasn't there. Yeah.

Like, I'm sure he wasn't there. Yeah, they even had Monica and Ross's parents who were old on the show. They're from Massapequa? Yeah, no, that's where their engagement party was, but they're from, actually, they might be from Massapequa. Sounds like a magical place. Why else would they get engaged there? No, not engagement, sorry, anniversary party.

Why else? Is it steeped in Native American history? Actually, I watched that episode yesterday with Alec Baldwin. Oh, and Alec Baldwin wasn't there. They did a whole series on, like, the most famous people who were on the show because they couldn't believe, like, you know, they were working with some of their idols. So Sean Penn was on it, Charlie Sheen, and then they mentioned David Schwimmer. It was like, and your guy, Brad Pitt.

It was so awkward. Oh, my God. Yeah. She was like, yeah. And so they were, like, kind of rattling off all the iconic people before they were famous and after. Denise Richards has been on,becca romaine gabrielle union like so many people they didn't mention alec baldwin that's weird yeah especially because like i think a lot of the friends fandom like regards that episode as like one of the best it's so funny yeah it's

funny when you tell me about it oh my god just watch it i watched a mass pico episode no no just watch the show like i've tried you don't want me we're not doing this i'm not going to take away from your happy occasion i really enjoyed it and i think i got i got pretty much everything i wanted out of it i'm so glad except you know you're a loser when they like were doing all these bloopers and like i've literally seen them all because i watch videos on youtube like that's losery of me so i had seen like half of the uh the content okay it was good it was good are you ready for our next story Theo looks so fucking deliciously cute he is so delicious and cute he's

kicking me he said he's ready for the next story he started his new um walker today so I think he's just like spent oh yeah he had his big time exercise brew has brew has exercise today too he's excited oh I'm excited for him. He kicked me. Time for the next story. He said, next fucking story. Stop talking about

this dumb fucking show. Okay. Miles Teller's wife corroborates the claim that he was dumped by two strangers in Hawaii. So this is a really crazy story that emerged this weekend.

The Tellers are telling their side of a complicated story. They are the Tellers. They are the Tellers surrounding the alleged assault of actor Miles Teller. While initial reports of the altercation claim that Miles was slugged by a man claiming he owed him $60,000, both Teller and his wife Kelly claim he was actually jumped by two strangers. Kelly wrote on Instagram, the story reported about Miles being

punched in the face by TMZ over money is completely false. Miles was jumped by two men we have never met after they trapped him in a bathroom. It seems these same men have done this to many people, and we appreciate your support, Maui. This is now a criminal investigation. Right, so they were married in Hawaii, and I guess people were saying that, like, they had unpaid wedding bills, which, like, he's in Top Gun. I don't think that's the case.

I don't think that's the case, but it's just really crazy how this vacation went from like Yes. Paradise. To hell. To hell. No, literally. Like last time we spoke, we were talking about Shailene and her shorts and

The shortslessness of it all. And Shailene's, if only Shailene's mysterious shorts were the biggest drama of the trip. No, I mean, never a dull moment when you're shortsless. Yeah, of course. And so I'm just How scary to be locked in a bathroom how scary and now this trip like obviously they'll have a pit about it forever when it started out so lovely on a hike with the waterfalls that's just like what life is like highs and lows you know what I mean sometimes

they happen in the same weekend yeah sometimes you get canceled and engaged on the same day on the same damn day on the same evening like sometimes that's just how life works because you know what they say man plans god bless and you can be happy and sad at the same time thank you casey musgraves for so acutely aptly summing that up thank you i don't know what acutely means no you were good too oh yeah okay yeah yeah you were very acute about it i'm so cute you look so cute today um but back to the story like very scary very sad and also like the misinformation assuming that like what they're saying is true and what TMZ reported is false I believe I believe them too but it's just like not only do you get beat up but then you also have rumors about you right like you didn't pay

your bills like you know uh withholding money from small vendors like that is traumatizing in and of itself right along with all the salaciousness So I'm glad she just set the record straight. Yeah. Took it to Instagram. Does Miles have Instagram? I don't think he does. So she's speaking for both of them, I'm sure. And we like to see that, a little direct communication.

I do. I love to see like celebrities, whether it's reality stars, influencers, just cutting out like the middleman, you know, like not giving an interview or a statement to TMZ. That they can like discombobulate. Yeah, like nah bitch, here's what happened. Check my IG and don't forget to follow me. Totally. And here's another celebrity Instagram comment making news.

Amy Schumer has been taken to Instagram. Amy Schumer has just been like on a weird one. She's been taken to Instagram to share some of her thoughts on things and movies that she's seen. And people can't tell if she's joking. But we believe that she is. She is. Amy Schumer took to Instagram to recommend A Quiet Place Part 2, starring Emily Blunt and directed by John Krasinski.

Emily Buntcake. Emily Buntcake. He's a boncake. And John Krasinski, who also happened to be married. She raved about the movie, the sequel to the 2018 horror film. She said, I loved every second of A Quiet Place movie, even better than the first one, which blew me away. Amazing to be in a movie theater. I've said this for a long time. I think Emily and John have a

pretend marriage for publicity, but I still think you should see it this rainy weekend. Okay, so that's pretty funny. She made two jokes. And then the other one was she, I guess she also took in Cruella this weekend starring Emma Stone she said a busy content weekend she said it's well known Emma Stone is a toxic person but Disney Cruella is amazing okay so this one I felt like was so obviously a joke the other one because I feel like I remember stories about them hanging out yes with Jennifer Lawrence yes and yes Adele Adele yes so I I have like faint you know memory of them being friends and this to me is like so clearly a joke whereas the other one I feel like really could have been

serious like it was it's funny but it's also like I could see her saying that right at first when I saw just like a screenshot of it without context I was like oh Amy Schumer's like out here like speaking her speaking facts like yeah all cap But no. John Krasinski responded, thank you Amy for blowing up our whole marriage spot. Yeah. Okay. That's not a good response. But learn how the kids talk. Blowing up our whole marriage spot? I think you mean blowing up our spot.

I don't want to think about it too hard. Because it could have been so much better. They actually probably spent time with the PR team. How are we going to respond to this media blitz? Yeah. And we've got to be like cool with the kids and that's what they came up with and it's just not good enough no not at all but I did I I did find it funny but also at first I was like a little confused and I don't know I just love that like she's like truly does not care like she didn't clarify she didn't do a follow-up she's like

interpret this as you will yeah and she's not like oh sorry guys like it was a joke yeah no it's just like figure it out she's a comedian so Emma Stone may or may not be a toxic person right no we never we truly never know though I my professional opinion is that these are jokes yes me too as somebody in the comedy space I think I can say with with somewhat certainty that these are definitely jokes. And they're pretty funny. And they're funny ones. Speaking of both of those movies, I do plan on seeing both of them.

I heard Cruella was great. And I actually saw TikTok. Do you know why they released it on May 28th? I'm trying to think of a good enough reason. It's Cameron Boyce's birthday. And he played Cruella's son in Descendants yeah wow that's really sweet that's really sweet and I can't believe that they're like have such ties to Descendants you know the Disney family it is the Disney family but I just feel like even

though Descendants it's such an amazing idea like the Descendants of the villains um that it doesn't actually tie in to the actual movies no like and where where do we see Cruella pregnant you know that's such a good call like where is the connection yeah no that's such a good call literally never know um but maybe we'll find out in the movie maybe maybe there's a man in her life so I want to see that and I actually do want to see A Quiet Place because I saw A Quiet Place 1 um I know Abe was watching it on the plane. This is one of my four stories. Abe was watching it on the plane but Claudia was sitting next to him and so she was like watching over his shoulder the whole time which was actually perfect because it's a silent film.

It's a silent film. She didn't need to hear words. So I didn't need his headphones. Yeah. And so then he texted me like do you want to see the second one together and I was like yeah. Oh cute just like how you watched the first one. Yeah so we're gonna take a trip to Bogota and I'm just gonna watch it over his shoulder. Very sweet. So I'm gonna plan on seeing both of them and i heard they were both really good okay cool yeah i want to see cruella it's interesting how like a quiet place was like the first movie to get canceled before covid and now it's finally back like it's literally a full-blown year and a half yeah yeah crazy life such is life okay next story is a little book news book news brought to you by honey yes we i think we all shop online. And we've seen that promo code field

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It's free to download. And they have found over 17 million members, over $2 billion in savings. So if you don't already have Honey, you are missing out on free savings. It's free to install and downloads in just a few seconds. By getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid. And by using our link, you'll be supporting The Toast toast so you can get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash toast that's joinhoney.com slash toast check it out i mean honestly just check it out like check it out sign on everything of the sort there is no downside and it's one of those things once

you have it you'll be like oh, I should have been doing this sooner. Yeah. Okay, next story, a little book news. E.L. James is talking about her new book, Freed. It's the newest book in the Fifty Shades series, and it comes from the perspective of Christian Grey. Hitting bookstore shelves on Tuesday is her latest novel, Freed, which is the sixth book in the Fifty Shades series. It talks about a six-week gap while they're preparing for their wedding,

but it's very you know um what's that book like twilight but the new one midnight sun yeah midnight sun where finally we're hearing from christian's perspective about how anna's defiant spirit continues to stir christian's darkest fears and tests his need for control so i guess like understanding why he's a freak yeah i have been wondering because i haven't read the books, but I saw the movie. And honestly, I found Dakota Johnson to be so annoying. So I can't imagine like reading a book from her perspective because she was like such a weenie. Yeah.

So. No, but also when you watch the movies, it's like this man, like he's so troubled. Yeah. And he just mysteriously disappears for like long periods of time. It's like, where is he going? What is he doing? So I guess reading it from his perspective and like the backstory of his childhood and all this stuff like will answer some questions I don't know this just like the book and the movie I read the book and then I saw the first movie and that's as much as I saw and I just felt

like the movie didn't do the book justice I thought it was honestly one of the worst casted franchises that too ever and it's weird because I like consider the ad the movie adaptation like kind of a failure even though it like grossed 1.3 billion dollars I consider the movie adaptation kind of a failure even though it grossed 1.3 billion dollars. I still don't think it was a good one. It's not kind of

regarded as iconic. Money is money because it has a huge cult following. People were going to see it but people don't go back and re-watch it like they do Twilight

or people don't there was no fan fiction. It's only just ever playing on E. Yes! Movies we love aka movies we got the licenses to.

Jackie. Not love. Literally. I've only seen it once because it was on E Movies we love, aka movies we got the licenses to. Jackie. Not love. Literally. I've only seen it once because it was on E, movies we love. Movies we have the licensing rights to.

Movies we have no choice but to love. And we're gonna force you to love. No, 100%. And I don't know if you guys read my book. I actually met E.L. James and her husband

who made the movie. And you'd have some notes for them. And did she say anything like about, that relates to this story in particular no but is like who did it first midnight's run midnight sun came out last year so um i want to say

like i guess this is exciting for people stephanie myers this came out first stephanie myers is her name oh is this the third one from christian's perspective oh oh wow people just keep eating this shit up this is a cash cow if i wasn't ed james i would have also been writing non-stop next i'm gonna write from the dog's perspective this will never stop no literally but i actually like this is exciting for people because if you love the franchise like i love twilight and i actually would like love to read a book from edward's perspective he's so mysterious you should read twilight i know next time you call me for a book from Edward's perspective. He's so mysterious. You should read Twilight. I know.

Next time you call me for a book rec, Twilight. Yeah, I should. I want to do it too. I just haven't carved out the time. So I think there are people who would be excited to read this from his perspective. Well, there definitely are because she keeps writing these books. And also she told GMA that like people come to her book signings and are like, I haven't read a book in 37 years.

And then they like picked up Fifty Shades and now they're like vor voracious readers which is really nice. It's a nice entryway into reading. Yeah I mean I think some people would say that about Girls No Jobs book as well. Yeah no I heard people who hadn't read in 37 years love the book. I heard people who didn't even know how to read learn to read because they heard my book was so powerful. This man right here. Available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and really anywhere. Kindle, Nook, all the places. Once you read that book, you must listen to the episode on the redheads where we sit down with the author and ask her most of the questions that you'll have. There's not that many that she leaves you with because she talks about everything. No stone unturned.

No stone. She's turning those stones. Constantly. Constantly. But, you know, there's a few things here and there lingering. Like what happened with Maverick? Yeah. And we talk about it in the redheads.

And then once you're a redhead, that's a great great place to start there's a world of opportunity for you and is it do you think it's possible to be like too late to become a redhead no that's the thing it's never too late and sometimes you're right on time it's beautiful because depending on the book like I feel like this book this month is such a fabulous place to start. True story, fabulous woman. I'm loving the writing. If you like Downton Abbey, it's just so good. If you like to co-name Helene, like following a real heroine. I love heroine.

I know you do. I know you do. You're going to love this book. It's called American Duchess by Karen Harper. That would be a helpful thing to know as I continue to talk about it. So happy for the E.L. James community. I am happy for them as well.

And I love a little book news because we love to read here at The Toast and at The Redheads. We do. We really do. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? It's the final story. Do-do-do-do-do.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do. Now I feel ready, honestly. You guys, it's a little more cyber security. The drama, the ransom of it all. It's a little more cyber security ransom coming for your daily needs, okay? Disgusting. Disgusting. The meat industry is the latest to be thrown into chaos by ransomware.

So Claire Crawley. You guys remember the colonial pipeline. Who could forget? The hacking of the colonial pipeline. And we were there on the ground in Nashville and lines were long at the pump. Boots on the ground. Boots on the ground. We went just to see how long the lines at the pump were.

Yeah. And guess what? The pumps were closed. The pumps were quaking. A ransomware attack against the world's largest meat processor is giving a taste of the chaos hackers could cook up with a concerted hack against the agricultural and food sector. Leave the farmers alone.

You guys, this is like so crazy. They're just coming for everything. Everyone. Every industry. And like... Next up, there's going to be a podcast hack. No. It's probably so easy. The the attack against don't give them ideas the attack against brazil-based jbs has halted production at all the company's u.s meat processing facilities and slaughterhouses across australia shutting down one-fifth of u.s beef production production jbs said it expects

to have sufficiently recovered to have most plants operational today, but the shutdown is still threatening a temporary surge in beef and pork prices and roiling an industry already battered by the coronavirus pandemic. Like honestly, imagine being like that cow that was supposed to be slaughtered and then like something like, it's like literally like a life-saving hack. Yeah. And like he was next on the conveyor belt, but then like something happened and he gets to like go back to the farm. I can't wait to watch a movie about it. It's kind of like a a stunning story like I know like hacks are bad and random but like think of all like the cows and and pigs that got like just one more day to live yeah it's it's kind of nice for them it is I guess but it's it's girls gotta eat it's concerning for the world

at large you know it's like who's next first they came for the gas then they came for the world at large. You know, it's like, who's next? First they came for the gas, then they came for the cows, and then they're coming for my neck. No, you guys, like, this is crazy stuff. And it's just like, change your password, you know? I guess. I guess. I just feel like we all change our passwords more. We should.

That's also a good lesson to take away. Unrelated to this, I think. But do change your passwords and make sure you have different passwords across platforms. It's so hard, though. It is hard. How are you supposed to remember that? No, literally.

And then it's like, okay, I'll create a Word doc with all my passwords. First of all, you never keep it updated. That gets hacked. Somebody hacks the Word doc and it's like literally

all of your fucking... No, that's a bad idea. You have like your social security number, your bank account, your routing number. It's so bad. It's so hard.

It's so stupid. But we're thinking of the meat industry. Constantly. Today. Need a burger. Need. Yeah, well you might be more expensive if you could get one. If I can get my hands on one. Does this affect the kosher meat industry at all?

No, it seemed like JBS was like they were dealing with pork and stuff. Right, so that doesn't include. So I guess my meat production is, not to make this about me, but totally unchanged. I don't know. I mean you say that now until they come for the shepherds yeah oh until they come from the kosher slaughterhouses um okay so those were the past five stories and I definitely feel as though um we were a little late to some of them but some of them you definitely needed to know more pressing yeah for sure for sure I feel I like when I woke up this morning

I'm not gonna lie like I've been so out of touch all weekend that's like so unplugged really um and now I feel up to speed so I didn't I didn't we didn't make it a story but I just want to like indulge the people who are following this TikTok drama really quickly before we dive into the TV and please explain it to me for those who are listening who don't know okay so there's this couple on TikTok. Okay, Jack Wright, he's like one of two twins, and they're like dancers, and they're so cute, and they blew up. They were in the Hype House, and Jack is his name. His brother's name is James.

It'll be important later on. Jack started dating this girl, Sienna Mae Gomez, who is like this body positive TikToker. She's super cute, and she blew blew up she's like 15 million followers i think that they're all on the hype house netflix show i don't know how this scandal affects that but they've been dating for a while and it's a while in tiktok terms like uh i don't know eight months like okay okay like a decent amount of time and they're like very you know showy on online and PDA you mean PDA yeah and recently I think a lot of people have been like wondering what's going on they stopped posting you know people just like were you know loving

to jump to conclusions did they break up blah blah blah then um also a little piece of backstory these people also went to high school together the twins and Sienna that's how they knew each other and they kind of all came up together on this tiktok high school yeah no it's like deep rooted so one of their friends the friends of the twins posted and then deleted this like statement on twitter it's so hard to see your friend you know be um in like a toxic relationship you know trigger warning saying that sienna was like sexually assaulting Jack and telling him to kill himself. Like, all these really insane allegations. And so people, for, like, the last day,

were just, like, wilding out with this thing. And James, who's the twin's other twin, like, you know, made a TikTok fanning the flames, and she's been losing hundreds of thousands of followers. People are just, like, coming, coming. Like, and so yesterday she spoke out for the first time and stated unequivocally that like everything in that tweet which has since been deleted is untrue um that this whole relationship with jack like she was manipulated into thinking that it was a

relationship like they never had sex like he wouldn't even like be with her i don't know and then the real bombshell she said was like she said I like a never sexually assaulted Jack and James the twin for you to like fan the flames like knowing what we know I think a lot of my friends and my younger brother would have you know a lot to say about you in this regard kind of subliminally saying maybe there's some allegations coming out of it James it. How old are these people? I mean, I'm too old to know if that's what you're trying to say. No, they're like 18.

They literally just graduated high school. Oh, okay. Okay, okay, continue. So no, then she left off like very ominously kind of, you know, alluding to but not really saying anything about James, saying the whole relationship with Jack was like a lie, and that all the allegations coming out about her are she refused refutes them completely okay so now people are just like well where do we stand and I'm just too old to be involved in this but I couldn't help it like it just it was insane and

it was just like non-stop wow okay I don't know where we landed with this like at all it sounds like it's also developing and maybe we'll hear from the... She only spoke out last night. Like, it's developing. Okay. We'll see. Sienna Mae is 17. And how old is her ex? The twins.

They were in the same grade, so... Oh, so they're all about their same age. Yeah, they literally just graduated high school. Okay, cool. It's crazy. Congratulations to the graduates. Yes, congrats. Congrats.

So, if you're following along, like, me too. And I just, it's crazy. Wow. Okay. You'll keep us abreast. Our TikTok constant. Constantly. Let me think. Is there any other TikTok drama that needs to be addressed?

No. Real Housewives of New York was on last night. Yes. Get you a girl who can do both. Like, Jack and Sienna. Real. Rona and Luann. Mm-hmm.

It was a crazy episode. Actually, I did enjoy it. Like, there was stuff happening, you know? The ending was kind of, like, where it all went down. But before that, I know you didn't watch it. I'll just give you, like, a brief recap. Yeah, sorry, guys. I didn't watch it because, like I said, I'm in this, like, reading.

I'm behind on my homework. I'm so sorry. That's okay. It was, like, they just basically got ready and went to Luann's house. Ramona did say, what happened to class? Oh, was it everything you needed no no it was like basically what had happened was she at the dinner said to Leah like I love you so much but like I just don't like when you talk like that and I don't agree with Ramona's right to like police what people say but it is Ramona's house and she did throw

this dinner party and Ramona doesn't want you saying big cock suck pussy like that is her right even though she's being like a little lame about it like I didn't agree with her last year in Mexico like yelling at Leah every time Leah said penis but you're on a trip when like Ramona just decides and she's it's like so sexual so it's not even like it's so random yeah it's so random and it is hypocritical but if it's at Ramona's house everyone's staying at her house or Ramona threw a dinner party she's allowed to somewhat police what people say. For sure, but then just, like, don't expect people are going to come back. Or, like, be nice to you. So she basically said to Leah, like, I really don't like when you're saying, like, cock, cock, cock.

And then Ebony was, like, not really listening. But then she was like, Ramona, how can you say that? I just heard you say cock. Or I heard you say, like, big cock, or I like big cock. And Ramona got really mad because she's like that's not what I said like Ebony took that out of context Ebony immediately apologized but it was just like everyone was drunk and like being chaotic and you couldn't follow anything it was like they woke up and everything was fine sounds like the real houses of New York yeah they

woke up and went to the lands where they painted the naked man and all the women were like fawning I guess he had like a huge penis um and then they sat down to eat and Leah was just like in a bad place all day she was like sobbing on Ebony's shoulder about her grandmother, kind of set in that she was really probably never going to see her grandmother again. And at this point I was just like, go home. Like no one's forcing you to be here. And if your grandmother is really like her time is so limited, like everyone would understand go.

Like, and she's not even having fun. She's not, it's not taking her mind off of it it she just like can't get out of her own grief so I didn't really understand why she chose to stay but they go and sit and have lunch and Sonia is just like so smart she stayed out of it completely Leah and Ramona get into it again Leah just gets up and storms away and the thing is is that Ramona was wrong because like if Leah wants to talk and be sex positive like leave her alone like that has nothing to do with you but then Leah took it too far and was like Ramona just kept saying you know my daughter's 25 and she doesn't talk like that and Leah just like hates being compared to Ramona's daughter and so she was like oh my god stop like

her and her friends were probably sucking dick at 14 and it's like okay you can't say that and then I don't know if anyone caught this Leah storms away from the table and goes to the front yard and it's just like minding our business and she's like god her fucking I think she said c-u-n-t daughter she said oh her god daughter like I'm like did you say I think that's what she said so she was just like being like rude to Avery for no reason like Avery wasn't even there but then when she gets up the conversation gets so heated between Ramona Luann and Ebony mostly Luann and Ebony because Ebony's just trying to make the point like you know just because you want to be sex positive like this doesn't make you trashy and then Luann said this but kept denying that she said it she's like it's

not about like class it's about education and so Ebony took that as a slight well she's like well I don't care what Leah says and I'm the most educated person at this table. And I guess Luann went to nursing school, so she's going to for time. She's like, don't come into my house and tell me I'm not educated. And they're all just yelling at each other, and it's so chaotic. And then Ramona and Luann are like, calm down, Ebony. When it's like, Ebony wasn't louder than anyone else, and Ramona's so fucking dramatic, pushes her chair out a couple feet, and she's like, that's fine. I'm just going to move back because you're hurting my ears.

I have an ear condition. And it's just like so stupid because they're all being just as loud and chaotic. Literally Ramona goes from telling Ebony to calm down to literally standing up and banging on the table. So it was so clear that they were just like, they were microaggressions. And Ebony was feeling it so hard. And she was like doing her best to remain calm. But like they were just being so hypocritical. Like down Ebony and it's like calm down like you're screaming like yeah so I don't where they left it was like Ebony stormed off and is visibly upset

and Luann is like seeing red like Luann cannot even like address Ebony like it was it got so heated and it was very difficult to follow and there was so much going on and literally like they were talking about nothing like it wasn't even like a real argument like i couldn't honestly i'm retelling it to you and i'm not even sure i'm retelling it correctly like what the crux of the i don't know what the real point they were all trying to make was something about education class and sex like i honestly have no idea yeah and sonia is just sitting there minding her own goddamn business as is the only person who was trying to like you know be like a median was Heather. I mean, she was somewhat successful in that, but she was just trying to get them all to

like chill and like see eye to eye. But she failed. Yeah. It was like, it was chaotic. I think that, and Ebony posted on Instagram, like she's like taking a break from social media for the next two weeks because like this episode was like kind of heavy for her. And I guess what happens next week, like gets even more into the conversation. Is it like a to be continued? Yes there was a to be continued. Okay. And it was actually like sometimes I feel like

they throw a TBC in there like so unnecessarily. Yeah. But I did feel like it was very appropriate. Oh nice. Okay I'm excited to watch and what's on tonight? Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills. Okay cool. And Shazza Sunset was on on Sunday and honestly it really wasn't a good episode like we all know mike's lying we're all just like you know waiting for him to admit it you know yeah it was not great but i think there's like a new new cast member that added this girl london who seems like really random she's persian she's friends with mj she's a lesbian and three episodes in now and i'm like i literally forgot she was in the house like when i first met her she kind of had like eclectic energy I'm not feeling that at all then they brought in this other girl last night who or Sunday night who has been on an episode like years ago like her and Gigi

were like going at it now like her and Gigi are friends it just seems like honestly there's a lot going on in the group I don't really feel like they need anyone let alone two new people and then Shervin showed up like it was just a kind of chaotic like they're going horseback riding it was just like a lot nice it wasn't my favorite episode okay um but speaking of my favorite things yeah it's time for dear toasters which is our advice segment also I was just laughing to myself because this episode is all you explain things to you well you didn't watch friends you didn't watch your honey I know I think we should call it Claudia explains it all and tiktok the one and tiktok like I just spent the we should call it Claudia explains it all and TikTok the one where and TikTok like I just spent the whole weekend because it was raining like on my phone so I know everything

no Claudia explains it all she's like Clarissa before her the more you know the more you know that's why I was just like smiling oh okay yeah I was like did I say something funny I mean I wouldn't put it past me why do you never laugh like that thanks um funny again wouldn't put it past me um we're gonna do dear toasters but we have a very exciting announcement for dear toasters because we have a very special episode coming out next week that's really centered on dear toasters so if you've been thinking about writing in or you've been wanting to write in or you have an update for us anything email deartoasters at gmail.com of course it's always anonymous we'll change people's names you know

your privacy is important to us but I think you'll want to get in on this episode next week so deartoasters at gmail.com is the email you can always write there but for this specific episode we think you guys are really gonna like it so email us if you've been like holding out like should I shouldn't I have this quandary like is that like the weirder the better yeah is it like dramatic right in like right in you would want to get your advice you won't regret it for this one um and so today's deer up deer toasters we have two submissions and a new update is brought to you by noom think about everything you've ever learned about getting healthy there's a lot of contradictory information out there and things like that old-fashioned food pyramid are not much help. You know how to chew and use chopsticks and fold pizza, but usually

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So if you go off track, you'll just get back on track tomorrow. Everyone is busy. So they only ask for 10 minutes a day. And over 80% of Noomers finish the program program and over 60 have stuck with their goals for at least one year there's a science to getting healthier and it's called noom sign up for your trial today at noom n-o-o-m.com slash toast if you're ready to learn how to live healthier sign up for noom today at noom n-o-o-m.com slash toast. Love it. All right, first up. Dear Claudia and Jackie,

the toast has literally saved me through the queue, so thank you. You're welcome. I'm currently having an issue with my boyfriend of one year. We are moving states together this month so he can start his medical residency. Oh, Zox are in messes. Hello, hello. We have talked about engagements and getting married.

He is the one. I am now in a current debacle because he is getting a tattoo covered up. Wait, sorry. He is getting a tattoo covered up with what is planned to be this horrible, realistic,

scary looking skull. And I mean scary like satanic. I've tried to talk to him about why he's choosing this and if he can please do something else because it really upsets me.

He says he just loves the design and it's his body so he should be able to do whatever he wants with it. I respect that but as a couple

I feel like you should take my opinion seriously. It's so bad. What do I do? Shut up and look at it my whole life or plead until I'm blue in the face for him to get something else? Thank you.

This is a real quandary. Yeah, because like it is his body, but also like it's kind of like half your... You gotta look at it. Yeah, and I don't know, like I feel like... Let's say you were getting Botox. Okay. Well, not you because you do get Botox. Like. Well, not you, because you do get Botox.

Like, if you were, you're married or engaged. Cosmetic enhancement. You would talk to your partner about it, obviously, right? Yes, but at the end of the day, like, it's your decision. It's your decision. So, it's kind of bothering me that he's not even, like, listening to you. He should at least, like, fake listen and pretend to take it into consideration. Yeah.

Just, like, for the sake of your feelings. But at the end of the day, like, it's his body. And maybe you'll end up liking it. I don't know, like, schools are kind of cool I don't know I'm curious what is he covering up what's the tattoo that's there is it worse than this like maybe we could leave it right that's what I was thinking like is it an ex-girlfriend's name like what is it would you prefer that maybe it was just like a drunken mistake yeah this is tough I think that at the end of the day it's his choice and whatever it is like it will grow on you like it'll just become a

part of him and you won't even remember that you disliked it. I just think the fact that, like, you're waiting for it to be drawn on is, like, giving you anxiety. Yeah. Also, like, how many other tattoos does he have? Why now? Why this tattoo? Yeah. Like, is it just one big skull on his belly?

Yeah. Or, like, has he tatted up? Yeah. I need photos. It's a skull amongst, you know, tons of other artistry. I need more context. And also, I think I have to say, like,

I don't know. Yeah, me neither. Because I, this is not, if we're comparing it to cosmetic enhancements, then I would say it's like, it's his choice.

But. No, honestly, it's the same thing as getting like lip filler. You think? Yeah. Like the other person has to look at it. Lip filler is not permanent.

Oh, that's true. Okay. Let's say a boob job. A boob job. Yeah. That's what I was thinking was thinking yeah if she wants it and he didn't like it it's too bad like she wants it yeah we have to give the same sort of respect and like agency yeah to him okay if that's if those are equitable then i think that they are they're permanent yeah body changing modifications yeah okay so it sucks but you'll just you'll have to work on it and honestly like think there's so

it could be so many worse things like you could look it up like some of the worst tattoos ever like yeah it's just it's just not your style yeah it'll grow on you if you love him and he loves it but i suppose it's like you'll love it yeah if a equals b and b equals c then a equals c and you're gonna learn to love the tattoo but um can't wait till we use that advice on ourselves yeah right good luck with that ben wants to do something crazy you know ben grows out his beard he loves it all right hey claudia and jackie thanks for being absolutely hilarious and brightening my mood every day me and my friends are longtime toasters and when i told them that when i told them something that recently happened to me they all agreed that i needed to get your advice wow it sounds like you have such a great group of

friends maybe we should all hang out so last week I downloaded hinge for the first time this is my first time downloading any dating apps you can imagine how nervous I was to go on my first date last night the date was going well but I kept having to get up to pee when we were finished with dinner my date said he would wait with me outside the restaurant until my uber arrived I really had to pee again but I didn't want him to think i was a freak for peeing so much so i decided to hold it in of course my uber ended up taking 11 minutes to arrive and this was too long for me to hold my pee it was then that i decided my best and only option was to pee my pants in front of him standing on the sidewalk also i should mention that i only had two drinks so this was basically a sober thought and decision

so as we were standing wait i just like no i can't get on board with the logic no you're less of a freak for peeing in your pants than you are for going to use the bathroom right right like make it make sense so as we were standing outside talking I began to slowly pee myself by spurting out small increments of urine I feel like someone's pranking us yeah continue luckily I was wearing black jeans so we wouldn't be able to see my pee pants. But then the pee started to leak out of my pants and onto my suede sneakers. Only a few drops got on my sneakers, so I'm not sure if he noticed. By the time I Uber arrived, my pants were completely soaked in pee and my bladder was fully empty. I blacked out during our conversation since I was so focused on peeing my pants discreetly.

I have no idea if he thought it went well or if he wants to go on another date. I was wondering if you guys think I should reach out again or if I need to throw in the towel and try again with someone else if you didn't notice it wouldn't be that big of a deal right but what if he did notice and still wants to go out that's even weirder right what do you think my next move should be sincerely honey I peed my pants I just feel like before we kind of get into dealing with you know how you shouldn't you with him I think there's some work that needs to be done on you. Like, let's, you just kind of, like, breeze by the decision to, like, not walk back into the restaurant and pee your pants like that, as if that was, like, kind of normal.

No, as if that's an option. Like, that's really not. I thought you were going to say, like, okay, you pee in the bushes. Like, okay, I might do that. I'm not going to lie. Like, I don't understand the thinking behind the peeing of the pants. Like, that to me is something that we need to talk about before you because honestly before you can kind of give yourself to someone else like you have to be cool with yourself and like I'm just like you were too embarrassed to go to the bathroom

again like too self-conscious to go to the restroom and you ruined a good pair of jeans and what about the uber driver's car totally very that ain't right justice for the uber driver and justice for like your suede sneakers um I I don't want to be too hard on you because i you obviously like are probably feeling guilt since you wrote in no but see the thing is that i do feel like we're being i feel like this is not a true story honestly we're being pranked like a hundred percent i really feel that way no because the the whole reason she wrote in is not like you know how should i work on myself to stop peeing my pants? It was, should I text this guy again?

Whereas honestly, I'm not even thinking about this guy. Wait, I have a question for you. Did you have a good time? Do you want to text him again? Take away the fact that you peed your pants. Like, treat it as a normal situation. Like, you said that you did it in small increments. Hopefully he didn't see.

So let's operate that he didn't know. How small could the increments have been if it was coming out of your pants? No, he still hasn't texted you. This is any, like, aside from peeing the pants, this is any other, like, first date he hasn't texted me. What could the increments have been if it was coming out of your pants no he still hasn't texted you this is any like aside from peeing the pants this is any other like first date he hasn't texted me what should i do should i text him i'll ask you did you do you want to go out with him again if so hit him up yeah i just think there's work that needs to be done um but if he did um if he did notice then i i wouldn't um ever contact him i wouldn't expect a response ever again but you know what then you hear those stories of like girls who go on a first date with a guy they do something so crazy like

shit their pants marry up throw up on them and they'll get too drunk married yeah no that's true but like honestly this is kind of different like I don't I actually think this is like something you can't come back from I agree and you know what I feel like if you were comfortable enough with him on the first date and there was that good rapport, like you would have used the restroom. You know, I'm just like, I can't get over the hurdle of like thinking it's a better idea to pee in your pants and just like quickly run back into the restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. So good luck. All right. Our third and final Dear Toasters is an update. Hey ladies, I've got an update for y'all. I wrote into Dear Toasters back in October about my ex-boyfriend

dating my current boyfriend's sister. Do you remember? My ex-boyfriend dating my current boyfriend's sister. Okay. And they were talking

about like family meals. She thought maybe it was like out of spite, you know? Okay. Let's fast forward to now. How do I remember that and not you?

Only six months after announcing their relationship to the family, they got engaged and getting married in October. I've been processing

this for a while now and I still don't know how I feel. Long short it hasn't been pretty I moved out of me and my boyfriend's home of three years I just couldn't bear living next door to my ex-boyfriend any more longer we live on a family ranch operated by my boyfriend and his sister wow sounds like a nice life um so I guess they were like living near each other yeah I'm currently interviewing for jobs nationwide and have tentatively accepted a position on the other side of the country starting at the beginning of July. There have been some very low lows in my

relationship but this has only strengthened it. He's a p-jamb and he'll do everything he can to support me but how much can I ask of him? Here's a list of my

quick complaints. No one in the family has had enough respect for me or my boyfriend to talk to us about this relationship or give us a heads up about the engagement

because his mom knew it was coming. That's really it. I just want respect from his sister, my ex, and his family. After his mom found out I moved out,

she asked me to lunch where she sobbed with guilt and admitted that she and the sister should have handled this better. Other than that, I haven't heard one word from his sister.

With my cross-country move approaching, my heart is breaking with the thought of being away from him. He brought up moving with me. Oh, she's moving without him. Oh. He brought up moving with me,

but this would mean leaving his family and ranch behind and would be a massive betrayal to his family. this something i should ask of him this man is my soulmate but i'm ready for bigger and better things than this tiny town incest sincerely well she wrote with an update and another problem um sincerely a toaster has a big problem being tunnel buddies with her sister-in-law okay a few things like i think at the end of the day you need to decide if you love this man more than you.

You hate your ex. Yeah. Because it seems like right now you're letting this. You're letting them win. Yeah. And it's kind of, like, sucky that it's a family situation where, like, everybody lives on the same ranch. Like, because ordinarily you could just, like, see them at holidays and whatever. But also it's kind of sweet.

Like, you would live the ranch life. I don't know if that's, like, what you're but like that sounds like a dream honestly I and they're getting married and so at this point it's like and it's so weird like it's still so weird it's so weird um and I I can understand why you're like if only they had handled it better but I still think like you would be just as hurt so I do feel like that's sort of like a yes and now this is one of those situations where it's like okay like maybe they got together out of spite whatever like it was weird when it happened but now they're getting married and like we just like kind of have to get over it like it is like a true love situation apparently like they're getting married yeah

so as much as it sucks I do feel like you're kind of like throwing your life into chaos just to get away from this man it makes me like you say this that the man you're with is your soulmate but like if that were the case like you might be more at peace with your boyfriend kind of moving in on your life and it is really weird like your ex yeah I'm not trying to but are you really just gonna like why are you gonna punish yourself right and like now live away from your boyfriend and I don't know it just feels like you had a really nice thing and you can work it out but you're instead like running away from it and also like causing more problems like now you're gonna be living long distance and then like you're gonna be even unhappier I feel like I I think that you

if this man is your soulmate that you should stay you shouldn't they shouldn't like get love and then you are alone across the country and like both you and your ex or your current boyfriend are miserable and if the family ranch is his future then that is where you need to be if you want to be with him if he like is offering to leave the ranch and you think that like that is a good idea I don't think you should take him away from the ranch yes it sounds like there's a position that needs to be filled at as female head of the ranch and I think that I'm the woman for the job I think you are too I don't know I just like I don't want them to win no yeah and it seems like you're not only letting them win but

like you're kind of like like ruining your own life like running away and cutting off your nose just by your face exactly yeah and I don't know if I agree with that I don't but it's your life and you have to do what you can to survive is making me sad whereas like i want you to put your boots on get down to the ranch milk some cows rub some dirt in it rub some motherfucking dirt in it and be the maitre of that ranch yeah no it seems like that was a role you were born to play in like one little hiccup and you're running away i think that you can face this head on you sound brave and strong and it's weird and i'm not down playing it's easy not going to say it's easy. It's going to be easy. But nothing in life. And I think it will be worth it. Nothing in life is easy. Nothing worth

having is easy. Yeah. You got to fight for what you want. You got to fight. I don't think you should run away. This really does sound like a Hallmark movie like storyline. Yeah. Rub some dirt in it. Five words for you. Rub some dirt in it. And that's our show. And that was Dear Toasters. Again, deartoasters at gmail.com. We have a big special episode coming up for Dear Toasters. Would love your guys' experiences.

Anonymously, of course, deartoasters at gmail.com. Thank you, Theo, for being here. Jackie, thank you for listening to my monologue. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Thank you for educating me on everything that happened this weekend. I can't, I can't, you know, lie and say tomorrow

might be different. Hopefully it won't. Tomorrow I hope to be abreast. Yeah, we'll be watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Yes. And I think that's all

that's on tonight. Yeah. Yeah, but I'll be reading all day if you're looking for me. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the millennial morning show

where we deliver the past five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast

anywhere podcasts can be found. So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places. So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us morning until sleep with five star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing hump day. Don't forget to hump someone you love. Gotta go hump Theo. Have a great day. Goodbye. Baby, bye.