The Toast - S5 Ep109: And That's On Good Parenting: Thursday, August 11th, 2022

Episode Date: August 11, 2022

Armie Hammer's alleged victims come forward in 'House of Hammer' trailer (Page Six) (28:24)  Olivia Wilde Claims Ex Jason Sudeikis Meant to 'Embarrass' Her with Custody Papers Served Onstage: Report (PEOPLE)(34:59)  Kevin Federline posts video of Britney Spears allegedly arguing with their sons (Page Six) (40:15)  FKA Twigs and Margaret Qualley in nasty argument over ex Shia LaBeouf suit (Page Six) (48:25)  McDonald's Ends McPlant Burger Test in U.S. Beyond Meat Stock Is Falling (Barron's) (53:41)  The Morning Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) NLOG Tickets Merch The Morning Toast Patreon Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry (Book)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the Morning Toast. Happy Thursday. Welcome to the latter half of the week. Congratulations. We did it. It's the latter half of the week. What is that from? Congratulations, class of 2004. We did it. That's like hurtful that you would even ask. Oh, okay. Sorry. It's from Legally Blonde. And if you don't know that, I'm surprised you found our podcast. But welcome. Legally Blonde and if you don't know that I'm surprised you found our podcast but welcome honestly that movie made me want to be valedictorian so that I could make a speech and be like congratulations class of 2012 we did it but was Elle valedictorian no she was just the chosen

speaker because everybody loved her because she won the big case her freshman year Miss Congeniality yeah I think that's what it was there's I mean, she's really bright and wonderful and we love Elle, but she wasn't the valedictorian. I feel like she was. No, I don't think so. I think she was just the star pupil because like she got Brooke Windham off and she cracked the case. But I don't think at Harvard Law you get chosen at graduation unless you're academically special. Special, agreed.

That's different from valedictorian. I don't know if I agree with that. Sound off in the comments. Was Elle Woods a valedictorian of Harvard Law School? Let us know. How you doing, Jax? Happy Thursday. I'm doing good.

I'm so glad that it's Thursday. It couldn't be a better time for a Thursday, you know? It's such a blessing. It is a blessing. And we just do have to acknowledge the space that we're in because it could have been Monday it could have been Tuesday it could have been Wednesday and instead it's Thursday and for that I'm grateful me too I'm also just like jittery this morning because busy busy obviously podcast host mogul tomorrow officially like I'm back on tour and I haven't been off the stage since May I was actually just thinking about the

fact that you have to get back on stage because that's why you left Florida. And it's like, did she even do her show yet? No. No, I know. And I'm like feeling like rusty. So I have a lot of work to do today after the show is up and posted because I'm going to West Hampton tomorrow.

I'm glad it's like a local show. I don't have to fly anywhere. It's a great way to ease back into the tour life, life on the road. So glamorous. So if you're in Long Island, New York tomorrow on Long Island sorry people from Long Island like I hate when you say in Long Island they'll be okay they'll be totally fine um on Long Island in West Hampton tomorrow night for a show Friday night it'll be fabulous at the West Hampton Performing Arts Center because I'm an artist and that's what we've. I feel like in the last few weeks, your artistic nature has really shown through and it's an honor to be in the presence of such

an artist. Wow. Did you sleep good? I slept all right when I slept. Um, not my, not the best, honestly, but not your best work. No, not the worst. Cause like the worst would be like up every hour. Uh, not the best, but I went to sleep earlier than usual. Cause I was like, I need to find time to catch up on my Z's cause I'm not well. I need time to find, I need to find time to catch up on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I started catching up this morning because once again, I woke up before my alarm and I'm actually loving that by the way like having some extra time I watched an episode and a half but overall I was four episodes behind so I'm still like I barely have made a dent we just wrapped up Christmas and I don't know what

you're up to but I cannot remember a time in recent memory where Real Housewives of Beverly Hills gave us so much holiday content I feel like they let the ladies off and then we see them in January yeah I also I, we haven't mentioned it in a while and I was hoping I could just like get away with not watching for even longer. And what's interesting is like, of course we get Real Housewives fatigued, but I've always felt like it's really important for us to watch those shows. Cause that's such a big part of this show is recapping those shows. And it's like, our content would would be cutting like half if we don't watch tv and do tv recaps and it's like we're fine no but there's also tv besides the real housewives right

like southern charm is on right now and it's really like and you guys know i love southern charm so it's really just for like lack of time and now i can't really catch up without taking a whole day um and i just assume that there would be a real dearth of content for us to talk about if we ever stopped doing TV recaps. I'm not saying this is the end of TV recaps, but right now it's just not happening. And I'm pleasantly surprised that the episodes are just as long. There's just as much to talk about. Yeah. Yeah. No, I was surprised. Obviously, the last few weeks have been bad for TV recaps because we were changing studios. You were moving like life just got in the way. And I thought there would be like a mass outcry of people and no one like

there's been a few people who are like TV recaps, but I felt for a long time the shows that we watch might not be matching up with the shows that our audience watches. Like I know we have like a lot of Housewives fans, but I think most of our listeners do not watch Housewives. They just listen to us recap because they want more show. So I'm very open to the idea of instead of doing like a TV recap segment, adding one more segment. Like we have Dear Toasters. You know, I'm always looking for new segment ideas. I love that we recently did Unburden Yourselves. So that's Monday and Wednesday. Maybe we get like a Friday segment. We'll have to come up with some good creative ideas. We had Judge Jackie a little while ago. I actually have a good idea for a new

segment that came that I think about all the time when I'm choosing stories and I just have then forget about it but to do one story a day that's like the worst fucking headline like that's just nonsense news just mindless news doesn't have to be Kelly's but it's like why was this written who fucking cares just calling out mindless news where and when you see it every single day I always love that idea we actually have not done Kelly's mindless news in so long she's been quiet maybe because she knows we're on to her I think she kind of like stopped she probably put her PR firm on pause because if there was a lot of Kelly's mindless news we would have to report it right and they're just like out here, honestly, tarnishing her brand.

Yeah. I actually feel like we might have affected change. Not to toot our own horn, but it's been really quiet. Are we like lobbyists, like enacting change? Are we change makers? Oh my God. Okay. So I like that idea.

I'm also open to hearing other ideas. I don't think that a new segment should be where people write in because I think Monday and Wednesday teeter on being kind of similar sometimes. So Friday's segment would have to be a little different than that. I think we had an idea a while ago, but I think it's too similar to Monday and Wednesday where like, yeah, no, it doesn't work. What idea? Like Judge Jackie.

It's similar to Dear Toasters. And then what am I supposed to do for the segment, you know? You bring in the dancing lobsters. That's so me. I'm the bailiff. You are the bailiff. So I like that idea. I also agree, like, I find TV recaps to be kind of tedious,

and I don't know that they're exactly what our audience wants to hear all the time yeah and if we don't except for like when when the Game of Thrones things come comes back like major major shows when there's a new season of Bridgerton like when there's those moments we watch as many as we can but doing like the weekly just TV has changed the landscape has changed and I actually feel like if we ever we're not done doing TV recaps permanently but now it's just showed us that like if we didn't do them it wouldn't be the end of the world but I do feel like our show not doing tv recaps recaps would really be indicative of the changing landscape of cable especially of Bravo yeah well I thought that when we stopped watching The Bachelor like it was going to like really affect our numbers in a negative way.

And not only has it not done that, I legitimately forgot that there are people still who still watch The Bachelor. Yeah, I see headlines sometimes and I'm just like, I can't believe that this is still going on. But then also, and I was feeling this the other day, I almost chose this story about Bachelor alums. It's like all the people that we were really invested in and that we followed when we were obsessed with the Bachelors

or like obsessed with them, they're all really like graduating into new lives. New lives and new careers. And it's interesting to see what people have done to like keep their longevity in good ways and in bad. Who are you referring to? I saw that Ashley and Jared opened up a coffee shop and it's also bachelor themed.

And that's cute for them. Yeah, no, I think about like, I always think about like the OG girlies, like Becca Tilly, Amanda Stanton, Lauren Lane. And honestly, when I follow all three of them on Instagram and when I think of them, like I never think of the bachelor. With Lauren, I obviously think of country music.

Becca, I think of her podcast and Hayley Kiyoko. Amanda, I think of like Bridal Girly now. She's been like very beauty focused over the last couple of years. Like I literally forget. I know. It's really. It's crazy. It's been a wild ride.

Also like Nick Vile. Right. And what I think about a lot is there was a time where like Bachelor and ABC ruled reality television. Like it was this almost like super human being show. Like everyone watched it. They were everywhere. Good morning, America. You couldn't turn on a podcast, a TV show in the midst of a Bachelor season without hearing someone like commentate it on talk about it. And seeing how far they fall in so quickly was something I never expected. Like I thought that The Bachelor would reign supreme over television till the day I died. Yeah, even The Snatchler has pivoted.

Right. And I just and now when I see like their podcasts or Instagram pages are just like things that are very Bachelor focused. I'm like, what are you've gotta you've gotta shift you've gotta evolve yeah what would you say is the new reality tv king or queen oh that's a good question it's tough because all of these reality shows that are huge are like flashes in the pan love is blind true but I mean too hot to handle of course love island and love island UK right now is making such a big splash everybody's downloading their VPN to watch love island USA not so much on peacock they're like paying for headlines I see them every day like so-and-so turned his head it's like I I cannot believe how like irrelevant love island USA is like even last year when I was watching

I was obsessed but I knew like not everyone was watching I didn't I knew it wasn't like as big as UK this year with the shift to Peacock I have not seen one like organic thing about it yeah organic being the key word yeah of course it's easy to like do paid media. Yeah, and like whoever, whatever publications NBC Universal owns, like they have to talk about it. Yeah, exactly. E! Online, NBC News, all that. E! Online has like a whole vertical dedicated to it. Because they're owned by NBC Universal.

It's very upsetting. It's very upsetting. So yeah, what else can I tell you? Oh, I read a little bit more of Jeanette McCurdy's book, still having such a hard time getting through it. Um, and I think the reason I spoke about yesterday about it being really dark is part of it. But I also think like when I really sit down and think about it, I'm not like a huge Jeanette McCurdy fan.

Yeah. So I'm not like, you know, drinking up every single word. I'm, I'm just like not excited about it, but it's still a good book. I understand that. But I do think we are that era of like Nickelodeon, Disney, those teen stars, even though you weren't like riding so hard for Sam, that time it was so. Interesting. And critical in our lives that I do think if you get through

the book you'll get a lot out of it to be able to see that time through the lens of someone who was there I also think once I get to the part in the book about Nickelodeon like up until now it's just like child actor tings and the child acting space is just like so toxic but you have you struggle with that in everyone's book where like before they're famous, you have a hard time caring. Yes, but I think a really good book makes you care, Jessica Simpson. Yes.

Okay. I thought the stuff about her childhood and the Bible Belt was just as interesting as the John Mayer stuff. But she's also your birthday buddy. So of course. Exactly, and I'm a huge fan. Of course you're going to care

about your birthday buddy's childhood. A hundred percent. That's just the kind of. Because it mirrored that of my own. That's the kind of empath that you are. A hundred percent. So I will keep you updated. I'm hoping to finish it like this weekend.

When I'm touring I read a lot. Because there's a lot of downtime. So. Can you read in the car? Yes. Wow. You can't because of like motion sickness? No. I can't. I don't do anything in the car yes wow you can't because of like motion sickness no I can't I don't do anything in the car I don't talk I don't I can listen to music I just want to look

out the window and just think yeah you don't scroll on your phone I can't scroll on my phone I really don't like chatting either like and I feel like when I'm in a long tired people think I'm like mad or something no I just I just love looking out the window and just thinking. And pretending you're in a music video. And talking to myself, but not having anything come out of my mouth. No, not pretending I'm in a music video because I'm not being extra and mopey. I just can zone out. Do you pretend you're in a music video when you're in a window seat on an airplane?

No, I don't pretend I'm in a music video when you're in a window seat on an airplane? No, I don't pretend I'm in a music video, like, in my adult life. That's not, like, where my head goes. Wow, you ain't living. No, like, as a kid, when it's raining and you're, like, sitting in the car. Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams. Let it wash away my sanity. Yeah, but I don't, that's not where my mind goes anymore as an adult. I wanted to share something with you.

Okay. So you might have seen this. I posted it on my Instagram story just now. But five years ago today, I was on my way home from Los Angeles. And I was in line at security at LAX. And I ran into Tarek El Moussa and back then five years ago I knew him because I'm a huge HGTV fan and I just like was familiar with his show I wasn't necessarily like a huge fan of him his family or his show I just knew him

and I thought it was like hilarious so I took a picture with him and I just I didn't know that five years later like I would become um a Tarek El Moussa historian yeah and I just, I didn't know that five years later, like I would become a Tariq El Moussa historian. Yeah. And I just want to give the historically accurate version of that story because I was there. Oh, you were? And I was the one who recognized him. Yeah. Oh my God.

What were we doing in LA? The Breath in LA? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you just totally wrote me out of history. I literally, in my mind, I was there alone my mind I was there alone Olivia was there too Olivia was there shut up oh and did you guys get a pic with him I don't think so because I recognized him and I was like that guy looks familiar but I

don't watch HGTV and then like I was able to make it click but But still like I don't watch HGTV. Like I don't really care. But you cared. And it was right after the mountain thing. Right. So he was big in the news. I find it really surprising you don't watch HGTV. Yeah. You would think that I would.

Because it's like very like peaceful content. Yeah. Maybe if Rach had a show I would watch. Because that's the only kind of way Rach should have a show her husband literally does that that's what the world needs that's the show I would watch I just I've not seen I haven't investigated it but I haven't seen any shows that like are my vibe well do you ever think about because I often think about like the show we never got the show that almost was Scott and Courtney when he was really into flipping houses and she was

really into interior design and he wanted to like work together and she like couldn't even look at him in the face let alone work with him and they didn't do it and then he ended up doing that show with I wanna be bad Willa Ford yeah make that look so good. That show was cute, except it felt pretty staged. And I wasn't crazy about the interior style because it was very like beachy Malibu. And it wasn't like Rach Parcell. Right. It was neither Rach nor Parcell.

That's huge. That's a huge loss. Yeah. So someone needs to make that show happen if they want me to be watching interior design shows. I just think like every now and then if you flipped on HGTV, you would really enjoy what you saw. No, but like a lot of times I'm like in a gym and there's multiple TVs

and that's the closest channel to something I would care for and still no. Still no. But I know that there are a lot of other personalities that like I'm not familiar with. I think there's like a redheaded woman who people really like. maybe if I saw her I would enjoy it I don't know um totally switching gears but did you see the trailer that dropped for the Discovery Plus Armie Hammer thing it's a story oh okay good so we should talk about that yeah and we will do you want to talk about it now we could do soon, but I just wanted to say last night was the season finale of Breaking Bread.

Oh, right. Oh, sorry. What I was going to say before was when we're thinking of ideas for segments, we had a lot of good segments in Breaking Bread. Yeah. And I feel like maybe some of them might work for the podcast. Cool. But a lot of them require interactivity.

Yeah. Interactivity. Were you going to say anything about the season finale um just that it was very emotional um tears were shed you will be able to listen to it tomorrow on the spotify app and it was last night of camp and the campers were feeling emotional it was the last night of camp i did kind of signify the end of the season with a song at the end of the episode. I'm sure Spotify will have to cut it out once they put the episode up on demand. It would be really easy for them to cut it out because it was at the end. Yeah. So I I don't think you'll be able to hear it. But for those who were lucky enough to experience it live,

you're welcome. We'll always have Claudia's final song final song we will i sang i'll always remember us this way from a star is born which i think is arguably a better song than shallow yeah i think so that's my hot take of the day okay not that hot lukewarm lukewarm not offensive you know i'm not gonna stir up any trouble yeah she's not a christian you still i want jackie to make that tiktok with me you still haven't sent me the video i'll send it today because i'm wearing you have to say four words she could be a jew there was one other word though that that person says okay well figure it out okay she could be a jew she could be a christian i'll do it for tiktok because i love them and they love me until they don't nah nah they're not gonna turn on us four minutes later

okay so i guess without further ado to do oh okay if you guys were on breaking bread last night you already know the breaking news but if you you didn't watch because you were so fucking busy and like you couldn't swing it um Theo is under the weather let us know what's going on so yesterday for like the morning and the afternoon Theo was licking his foot non-stop and honestly I was just like so busy I didn't really pay too much attention to it which I feel guilty about um And then I finally like took a look at it and it looked kind of red and sore. So I got in the bath with him. I gave him a warm bath. I scrubbed it clean.

And when I was in the bath, I was really able to see like how bad it was. And his whole foot is like inflamed. So I spoke to Dr. Lisa Littman, queen. Like I was really like so flustered and she really calmed me down. She called in an antibiotic, an anti-itching pill, medical wipes, medical shampoo to clean it with. It all arrived last night. He has to wear a cone because the licking makes it so much bad because it's basically like a bacteria infection.

So he has to stop licking it. And last night before bed, I took the cone off to see if like he would behave and he immediately went to lick it. So he had to sleep in the cone, which was so sad, especially because also I was being the laziest dog mom, but everything was able to be delivered to me. I didn't have a cone at home. You know, Petco is on Instacart. Love that.

So I ordered a cone and I got a size small and a size medium. The size small is like one inch too small. It's like a little too tight on his neck. Yeah. So then I went to the medium. The medium is enormous. And not only is like the neck size, like the necklace size longer,

but it's taller. Like it goes out more. He literally cannot see anything. He walks around the house banging into walls because he doesn't know what's next to him. Thrice. It's been a really hard day for Thrice. And I don't think he will start feeling the effects

of his anti-itching pill and his antibiotic until at least tomorrow. So he's got a long road of recovery ahead and he's hating life with the cone. I feel sick. I feel like vomiting. I feel like vomiting too, except like I am at peace knowing like I'm torturing him for his own good. You know? Of course.

But just knowing that Thrice is in pain and that things aren't peachy for him. It, it breaks the heart. Like, it's sickening. No, I was really, really bent out of shape over it last night. Like, while I was getting ready, I went to Remy's launch party for Remy X Revolve. And honestly, I was, like, so upset to have left because he had just taken the meds.

I'm like, what if he has a seizure? Like, it was tough. And Ben wasn't home home he got home from Boston late last night but I ended up going I had a great time by the way um except for the fact that so it was to celebrate Remy's line at Revolve so everyone was wearing the line and everyone was wearing the same dress as me which normally I don't care about except for the fact that like the people there were uh like 19 years old yeah and they were literal bikini models. Yeah. And it just like made me,

it made me upset. Don't let it get you down. Cause you are looking so good. Thank you. And you looked great last night, but you just look great in general. So just keep up the good work. Thank you so much. Some of us are in,

I felt, some of us are in our jealous wench era. Listen, as a former, a our jealous wench era. Listen, as a former recovering jealous wench, I can tell you hashtag it gets better. Yeah. Also, I told I gave this update on breaking bread last night, but I'm going to share it here, too, which is the exciting update in my life, which is that I'm starting the process of weaning off of breastfeeding and pumping.

And I'm very kind of happened naturally because my supply went down when I was moving and I was just like stress and missing pump sessions and so now I'm in a place that now we're doing like solids purees rice cereal so I don't need as much milk and so I'm gonna start weaning so I can get my life back and I'm really excited and that's exciting for me not to make it It's bittersweet though, you know, because it's been so wonderful, the breastfeeding experience, so nourishing for Roald. He loves mama's milk. Um, he does, but he's growing up like, and now it's time to graduate. So it is bittersweet, but, um, it's pretty sweet. And not to make this about me. Um, I'm just excited because

now I get to feed Harry. And of course, I've fed Harry with bottles. I find giving a baby a bottle to be like the most labor intensive activity. Like left arm has to hold the neck up. So like you're using so much upper arm strength. Right arm has the bottle. And it's just like two really uncomfortable arm positions. Yeah. So I'm excited.

So he's going to be sitting his ass in a chair. And so am I. And I can just like spoon feed him delicious pureed carrots that his mom made so perfectly thank you Claudia I got the puree down we have some nice purees in the freezer some pureed carrot pureed potato looks good yeah and it did you just uh I never wound up using one of like the fancy baby food machines, like just steaming on the stove. And I use my blender. The same blender that Bruno uses to make daiquiris for Magnolia.

LOL. I just realized, like I always say, and this is truth, like I've literally never had a carrot, but I guess I have like as a child yeah you wouldn't eat a carrot now no oh my god no they're so good it's crazy that my appetite has regressed my palate yeah my palate was more exploratory and um open-minded when I was a toddler and a newborn baby than it is as a 28 year old. Yeah. And no if

there's a crudite plate like the only thing I will even think of picking up is a cucumber and those are always the first to go. That's so interesting you should try some of Harry's carrot puree. So delicious. No but like my vision is definitely taking a turn as I get older. My vision is too, because I mean, I've never had glasses that I've actually needed. I've like wanted to wear them, contacts or anything. But Snitch has like really big prescription. And with her glasses, she sees better than I see without glasses.

But like, I see good. I just like, remember one time there was something really far off and you guys were like, you can't see that? It was so far away. I'm like remember one time there was something really far off and you guys were like you can't see that it was so far away I'm like yeah no sorry I'm not wearing a magnifying glass well yeah like as kids Olivia and Margo like from a very young age were always like contacts glasses and honestly I felt so grateful to not have that burden like first of all ordering contacts is beyond expensive okay I agree with that now but as kids I wanted glasses I would like intentionally fuck up my eye exams just to get like a little something so I could be like

the nerd who takes off his glasses and everybody realizes she's handsome. Yeah of course of course but like in retrospect it's like an annoying thing and like at sleepovers you have to bring your contacts and you can't see anything when you wake up like it's just it's no way to live. So I'm grateful I didn't have it. Of course I'm grateful now but like at the time that's what I wanted now I'm like it's so crazy that there are people who wake up in the morning and like can't see until they go get their seeing tings in order yeah no like Olivia yeah and the snatchler and that's why LASIK eye surgery is literally life-changing and I think you and I take for granted the fact that we wake up in the morning and we can see.

That's actually really true. I think a lot of people take it for granted. So if you are someone who's never needed glasses, like acknowledge the space that you're in. Yeah. Also, if you're someone who's never needed braces. No. That's like an elite level. For sure.

None of us have ever had braces, but now people like make fun of our teeth. Who? I don't know. They like say we have fangs. Oh, you know what? They're right. We do have fangs. I love my fangs. So do I, but they're not wrong. But I just feel like it's because we watched so much Twilight growing up. No, that's just like something cute about us. It's like we don't look alike whatsoever, but you know we're sisters because we all have things yeah we all have similar noses too yeah no everyone says we have the same teeth actually recently and I remember this happened the last time I lost like a big amount of weight um people when I get smaller always tell me I look like Margot yeah in your disgraced queen comedy special it's Margot Asher performing really when you're on for margo when you're on

stage and maybe because i'm like further away from you when i think you look the most like margo on stage because you're a star you're a star she's a star thank you i i agree now i think without further ado it is time for the past five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast. Today's episode is brought to you by stamps.com. Having to drop what you're doing to run to the post office is probably the worst thing on the planet, especially when you have more important things to do.

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contracts. Just go to stamps.com click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code TOAST. Great. Thank you so much. Our first story. It's a pleasure sorry about that it's not friday so i can't give you the space to do it our first story army hammers alleged victims come forward in house of hammer trailer army howard hammers alleged victims have come forward in the first trailer for discovery plus's new documentary series house of hammer the explosive first trailer

released wednesday by the network, includes footage of two of Hammer's exes coming forward to detail their harrowing experiences and include screenshots of messages and voice notes the star allegedly sent them. In one alleged message, he says, I have a fantasy about having someone prove their love and devotion and tying them up in a public place at night and making their body free use. In another voice memo reportedly sent by him,

he employs more violent imagery. The three-part series also features Army's aunt, Casey Hammer, who was the granddaughter of Armand Hammer, the businessman who made the family fortune in the oil business. Casey says, quote, I'm about to reveal the dark, twisted secrets of the Hammer family. So this trailer went viral and I think it's for two reasons. Obviously like the army stuff is so crazy so hearing firsthand from

the victims about what it was like to be around him is going to be interesting but also a huge part of the documentary is something I only recently found out which is that Armie Hammer comes from like a very wealthy old school family. And they're going to dive into that. But they're also going to dive into like Army isn't the first man from this family to be like fucking crazy. Interesting. That's why. And that I believe is what the aunt is discussing. Got it.

Wow. Then it's it sounds like it's going to be explosive. And if it's anything like what Lifetime Discovery Plus did with R. Kelly documentary it should really cover the gamut is Lifetime Discovery Plus I think so I don't I think so let me see well I was gonna say this is also a in terms of the streaming wars this is a big win for Discovery Plus because I feel like they really haven't been um like a major player in the documentary space when it comes to like celebrity like Jeffrey Epstein was on Netflix Anna Delvey was Netflix Fire Festival was Netflix and Hulu Hulu's had some big documentaries recently and this is like Discovery Plus entering the game officially yeah I'm trying to figure out

if Lifetime is part of Discovery I don't know why I thought it was discovery is like food network hgtv nat geo it's lifetime also oh it is yeah so that's why yes r kelly that show was incredible and actually like changed the narrative yeah made a difference yeah so i don know what army, if he has like any active charges against him or what, but he's also in the Cayman Islands. So. Right. Who knows what will come of it, but it looks to be very good.

Add it to the plate. It's so interesting how like he went through the scandal and then he like disappeared for an entire year and he's recently resurfaced. And now the documentary, like when it rains, it pours. Cause I really haven't thought about him in so long. Yeah.

It wasn't that long ago, all of this, though. When was it? Pandemic. I don't remember. And to be honest, I feel like when it comes to like the really gory details, his whole like expose was very detailed. Like, I feel like we know a lot of it. Yeah.

And I think the stuff that we don't know is the family stuff. Yeah. Cause the exes have shared a lot. And also all of the, his ex girlfriends, like were his girlfriends while he was married. Right. That is a part I'm beyond confused about.

I'm not sure. I'm going to watch a documentary because obviously I know like the allegations against him being like really violent, the cannibalism, all that stuff. But I'm not entirely sure how all of it pertains to his marriage. Agreed. And the timeline.

The documentary premieres on September 2nd. So we will be watching. That's not terribly far away, but it's not that close. Yeah. I can't believe it's almost already September. I know. Oh my God. You know what that means?

And actually watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills these last two episodes where it's holiday themed like it's making me really excited. I love. Oh my God. You know what that means? And actually watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills these last two episodes where it's holiday themed, like it's making me really excited. I love, oh my God, wait, this is going to be like your first holiday season, not potentially seeing snow. Yeah. I'll be like you. Does that mean, does that change like the holiday vibes? People who live in warm weather? Like I feel like as much as a Christmas tree is a part of Christmas, so is snow. Yeah, so is the cold. I actually, I know people think like, Florida, it's amazing weather, you know.

I prefer seasons and like- Me too. If I could choose between New York weather or Florida weather, I would choose New York weather. I'm not- Change it up. I'm not like jazzed about it being hot all the time. I like fall.

I like a chill. I like a- I like the beat. I like a boop. Yeah, the beat. I like a boop. Yeah, for worse. I like a boop. You know, and it's nice to have, like, different phases of your wardrobe to style.

Yeah. So I'll see what people do down here, but I do feel like, just like in LA, like, people just dress like it's winter, even though it's 60 degrees. Wait. Let me ask you a question. Now that you have, like, a home and stuff,

are you going to be doing, like, Halloween decoration? Or do you have an HOA? Like, do you get in trouble for that I'll have to find out I don't think you would get in trouble I do think eventually in my life I'll do stuff like that not this year I'm just of course not busy like pumpkins for fall pumpkins for fall I don't think I'll do like spooky I mean I'll probably just borrow your pajamas like for Halloween well the HOA will have a problem with something so scary yeah so I'll have to get approval for that I don't think I like put up actual Halloween um decorations I'll do trick-or-treating though oh my god I forgot that's actually like so fun yeah maybe I'll come over yeah oh well you know what actually I was thinking

for Halloween we can't be separate like I'll probably over. Yeah. Oh, well, you know what? Actually, I was thinking for Halloween, we can't be separate. Like I'll probably have to come down for Halloween. For the Halloween episode. Yes. Right. I need to start thinking about who will be. And then it's your birthday. So I'll probably just be there that week.

I should just schedule. A long extended trip. Even though I think I have a show. Hold on. Let me just like triple check. We looked at it because we talked about my birthday already and you don't have a show until like November 12th.

Okay, because we need to start thinking about Halloween. Do you have like any ideas? Me neither. I think we should be Brassenstrasse. I love that idea, by the way. And Snitch could be Magnolia. Totally.

But then we would need to hire paid actors to be Butters and Mystery. Yeah. We need to hire paid actors to be butters and mystery yeah we need to get the crew together one last time i forgot about halloween so i'm actually gonna put that in my calendar like take that week do halloween and your birthday love it can't wait so exciting okay our next story olivia wilde claims that her ex jason sudeikis meant to embarrass her with the custody paper served on stage, says a report. A lot of custody news coming about coming out about Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis,

as reported, like he served her on stage, which was not very cool. She also won the first custody battle against him. But in the recent court documents obtained by Daily Mail, she reportedly accused him of embarrassing her professionally when she was served the papers during a presentation she was making on stage during the event in Las Vegas. She said Jason's actions were clearly intended to threaten me and catch me off guard. He could have served me discreetly, but instead he chose to serve me in the most aggressive manner possible. The fact that Jason would embarrass me professionally and put our personal conflict on public display in this manner is extremely contrary to our children's best interests. Since Jason has made it clear that we will not be able to work this out for our children's sake outside of the court system, I filed a petition for custody

in LA. To his credit, he responded and said, I understand that the process server had only done her job. However, I deeply regret what happened. Olivia's talk was an important event for Olivia, both professionally and personally, and I am very very very sorry that the incident marred her special moment he said I did not want to service I did not want service to take place at the home of Olivia's current partner because the kids might be present I did not want service to take place at the children's school because parents might be present so he said that like the server had tried and they just knew that that's where she was going to be that they would be able to actually get it to her there and didn't really realize the implications of doing so yeah no I don't think he would like intentionally humiliate

her publicly on such like a public stage but that doesn't negate the fact that it happened and that it's mortifying even though she handled it like a fucking boss like you know what I actually think it might have worked in her favor because she looked sympathetic like this is so embarrassing and she handled it like a total pro like did not let it get in the way of her speech her panel like everything just went smoothly after that one little hiccup so I think like nobody's technically to blame this is just sad and this is where I feel like first of all this is like custody this is like a serious thing it's not like a divorce filing like this is like kids lives um

and this is where sometimes I feel like every and I know like it's the law I guess for a reason but like court documents like being public like being accessed so easily like it's just like sad yeah I agree especially in like a family court matter yes that's so true like I don't know some things like when it comes to criminal someone's getting pulled over for like a DUI like all that should be publicly available information but like why the fuck does it matter to me who their kids live with how much of the time you know yeah there are I mean sometimes things like this get sealed but I don't know what the criteria is for that and obviously I'm not a lawyer or anything I just feel like all this like family stuff should be sealed like automatically yeah I feel that and maybe it

is in different states um it just feels like wildly invasive to be reading this yeah and I just want what's best for the kids of course same well she won the first battle so i think there's a way she's won the battle but will she win the war i mean she won harry styles so she just wins just everything which is really tough which is tough for all of us i'm sorry tear tear Next story is a little more custody news. And is it the story that's brought to you by Figs by chance? Yes. Everybody has something they look forward to in the fall.

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That's W-E-A-R-F-I-G-S.com, promo code TOAST. Love it. I actually just got a pair of figs and they're so awesome and they look so nice and like clean and they fit nice. Professional. Yeah. Okay. Next story.

Kevin Federline posts videos of Britney Spears allegedly arguing with their sons. Britney Spears' ex-husband Kevin Federline, not Kevin from the Backstreet Boys, posted a series of old videos appearing to show the singer arguing with their two sons. Britney Spears' ex-husband Kevin Federline, not Kevin from the Backstreet Boys, posted a series of old videos appearing to show the singer arguing with their two sons. Kay Fed, who was married to the hitmaker from 2004 until 2007, shared three Instagram videos on Thursday which seemingly showed Spears scolding her sons Sean and Jaden. Quote, I cannot sit back and let my sons be accused in this way after what they've been through as much as it hurts us we decided as a family to post these videos, he alongside the clips saying their sons were 11 and

12 at the time this was taken he said this isn't even the worst of it the lies have to stop i hope our kids can grow up to be better than this k-fed k-fed's decision to share the videos online have sparked outrage with a source in britney's camp telling page six this is terrible kevin is disgusting he is weaponizing the kids by releasing these videos. But in these clips, Britney is just being a mom. Okay. So this is like, I have a lot of thoughts because up until this point, I haven't really made a decision on how I feel about Kevin Federline. Because yes, like I know a lot of people dislike him because he like lives off of Britney's money. But for a really long time, while Britney was really struggling, I feel like he was really there for the kids. And so what?

money but for a really long time while Brittany was really struggling I feel like he was really there for the kids and so what he doesn't have a job it's okay he's a stay-at-home dad yeah so up until this point like I didn't really understand or agree with like a lot of people's negative feelings about him but I feel like this is so fucked up for so many reasons first of all to record someone without their knowledge in their own home in private moments and then post on a public platform when you're famous is so disgusting and so invasive. And I'm never going to be a fan of that no matter what's in the video. Like, I don't like that. Two, we as a family came to this decision. Like, you're the parent. Like, your kids, whether they think you should have posted them or not, that's fucking irrelevant this isn't like they're kids right three the contents of the video like he really thought

he was doing something and I was ready to see Britney like pulling her hair out screaming like teeth being punched in like these videos were so like normal like and especially when you keep in mind that during this time she was on lithium against her will so not only was she like really struggling mental health wise she was also being a parent and I didn't feel like anything she said in the video was like that crazy like am I crazy or is that just like how you get in trouble when you're a kid yeah I saw the video of them in the car she's taking the punishment that she's enacting is she's taking away Sean's phone because he wasn't wearing shoes in the ice cream store. And like, I imagine it's hard to punish teenage boys, especially like she said, they're going through puberty. And it's actually the most clear I've ever heard her speak.

Like Jackie, I completely agree. Her kids are being disrespectful as fuck in the back. They're also filming her. It seems like the filming is taking place from their purge. So they are speaking in a way that they know is on video where she doesn't know that she's on video and that's always like an imbalanced conversation like I'm gonna be like the victim and and the other person's just speaking normal like and that's so at the end of the day she's be like she's disciplining them and

the and the punishment is you're getting your phone taken away. Like there's nothing really out of the norm there. Sure. No, and that's actually like a very common way of punishing a teenager. It used to happen to us. It was the worst fucking thing on the planet. Yeah, it's hard to get through to kids. Like and that's a very fair punishment. And why aren't you wearing shoes in the ice cream store?

Like that's being a parent like I agree he thought he did something even if the videos were more damning which I don't think that they are like it's none of our fucking business everything taken out of context in this way like you don't even know like we're just hearing her say like she wasn't wearing his shoes but we don't know how he was behaving in the ice cream store like without like what the fuck is this and I agree with you that like I would give Kevin Federline up until now like I was like without like what the fuck is this and I agree with you that like I would give Kevin Federline up until now like I was like just like you know what like his job is being a couch potato taking care and raising these two kids and it always has seemed like Britney's kids

are doing okay so it's like yeah maybe he's not the worst maybe the at least he's a good dad but this is fucking disgusting no and like I think when he posted this like he really thought he was doing something he would like change the narrative that Britney's like a verbally abusive and manipulative mom and the reaction that I've seen from people especially people who have kids is like literally you record me in the middle of the night coming into my son's room to reprimand him like I'm worse yeah like it's first of all there's no context it's really not that bad and like people discipline their kids and that's how she did it I didn't think there was anything wrong or abusive about it like she was cursing but the kids are teenagers and I just I don't

know maybe I grew up in a strict household but I don't think it's that crazy yeah also just listening to these videos like it's clear that they're recording them for someone, you know, and for something. And I feel like their dad has kind of employed them to be like on his side. And they're taking these videos for him, like to show mom acting crazy. And I think that's fucking twisted of him

that like he's pitting his kids against her like that. Because otherwise, why are you taking a video of your mom yelling at you? Like, what are you? Are you proud that you're in trouble? It's extremely manipulative.

And I think the point that you made that I didn't even think of, which is literally the best point, is that the kids filming it, knowing it's being recorded, makes for an unbalanced conversation and not a real accurate representation of how things go down normally

when she's disciplining her kids because they're behaving as though people are watching. Right, right. And that's not fair. I'm sure usually when she's giving it to them, they're giving it right back. They're giving it right back. And even though they were being recorded,

they were still like talking back. Like in growing up, you didn't They're giving it right back. And even though they were being recorded, they were still like talking back. Like in growing up, you didn't talk back. Like, and even though they knew they were being recorded, they were still talking back a little bit. Yeah, because that was just, that's kids. They're also like 11 and 12. They're not bad kids. And it's also unfair for Kevin Federline

to release a video of his kids 11 and 12, like actors out. That's not fair. In a personal moment. Yeah. I'm sure the kids have consented to it because it seems like they're obviously team dad and like whatever dad wants.

But that's fucking shitty too because this doesn't reflect well on them either. And he should know that. They might think they look cool and they're talking back to mom, but he should know that. I just think nothing good ever comes from like exposing, like when people are like posting text messages or videos,

like private conversations being posted publicly makes the person, even if the person who posted them is in the right, which by the way, they never fucking are. It makes the person look like such an asshole because it's only a thing a true asshole would do. Record someone without their knowledge and share on a public platform as a famous person it always makes me think of bachelor in paradise

kaylin and blake kaylin and blake like was like i have to post these to like save my reputation and he posted them which just made him look like an asshole for exposing a girl's drunk text messages and b they really weren't that bad and they actually made him look bad I that's what I thought but I think other people were just like thought it vindicated him yeah and I think Kevin Federline thought he was going to post these and be completely vindicated dad of the year look at my sons um and now I just like have a hatred for him which I never had up until this point and I didn't even agree with a lot of the hatred he received yeah but no now it's it's extremely potent on my end extremely last night on breaking bread we were talking about the different ways that we wrap up conversations and how we like each of us and that's on being a good parent yeah or I'll be like oh that's so interesting

or we'll keep you updated we'll keep you. So now I'm trying to do new ones. What did I just say? I don't know. It's extremely potent on my end. Potent on my end. And that's on being self-aware. That's that on that. Always.

But I don't think this is this on that. No, and that's on having to discipline teenagers. Honestly. Yeah. Our next story, like crazy news, page six exclusive. FKA Twigs and Margaret Qualley are in a nasty argument over ex Shia LaBeouf's lawsuit that FKA Twigs is suing Shia LaBeouf for alleged sexual battery assault and infliction of emotional distress, which lasted during their relationship from 2018 to 2019.

infliction of emotional distress which lasted during their relationship from 2018 to 2019 so fka twigs first spoke about these allegations in a interview with l magazine in september 2021 and actress margaret quality who also briefly dated shia labeouf posted the cover on her social media with the caption thank you she margaret later told harper's bazaar that she posted the cover because it was important for it was important to me for her to know that I believe her. And it's as simple as that. We're told that after the piece came out, FKA Twigs and Margaret Qualley exchanged messages and FKA Twigs hoped that Margaret would agree to be a witness in the case, which is set to go to trial in April 2023.

But it seems that FKA Twigs became disappointed that despite her public show of support, Margaret didn't appear willing to throw herself into the suit as actively as the singer had hoped. We're told the two women who didn't know each other before the L piece was published happened to run into each other at a hotel in LA recently. Sources say it's unclear who approached who, but the pair got into an intense verbal dispute over the matter

in full view of the other hotel guests and Margaret's fiance leisure singer jack antonoff came to her defense and joined him with the argument insiders say that both girls it's giving housewives it's giving ken vanderpump getting involved yep it's giving uh insiders say that both girls were both left shaken by the incident well this just sucks because them fighting like they're both victims of the same person um and it's like his abuse continues because they're now fighting with each other and i understand fka's frustration in wanting to build the best possible case and not having

margaret do the most but also like you can't force someone to speak on their trauma like before they're ready yeah it's a maybe she's not and it's a lot to act as a witness in a case such as this and and Margaret's relationship with him is much more recent than FKA's and I'm sure whatever it was that she went through with Shia LaBeouf is still very much an open wound. Yeah and everyone just processes things and handles things differently and it's understandable if she doesn't want to participate but it's also understandable for FKA that it's frustrating. Yeah but I hope that they can work it out because they're stronger together than they are apart. Yeah, agreed. I just thought that was a crazy story.

No, and like now it's becoming about like them two being pitted against each other as opposed to like this man who's fucking crazy. Yeah. Like let's focus on that. Yeah, let's. Shia LaBeouf is so weird. Like I won't lie, like Holes was amazing.

But beyond that, like he's been really unwell for so long I like don't know that much about him me neither I haven't seen a piece of his work since he left the Disney Channel and in my opinion his catalog went downhill um no but he just became like a really serious actor quickly and then like very bizarre putting a paper bag over his face like being very publicly bizarre yeah but he's in transformers that's why like everybody oh that's why i haven't seen him in that in that or he's a big movie star from that well he's also an abuser yeah alleged allegedly um okay are you ready for our fifth and final story um a little human interest news that i find personally very interesting and sad.

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test in the u.s um it didn't go according to plan and the beyond meat stock has dropped due to the conclusion of the trial of the mcplant so this is affecting markets, wallets, mouths. Can I say that in terms of fast food going plant-based, nobody did it better than Impossible Burger at Burger King. First of all, because it's extremely delicious. Second of all, they did a huge marketing push. They were paying influencers to do a blind taste test of the Impossible versus the regular Whopper, and they really couldn't tell the difference. They had whole commercials devoted

to it. And like McDonald's announced this like McPlant and then never did any follow-up marketing on it. So I think people maybe forgot that it was even an option and just like weren't really advertised to about this product. So like it was a flop from the beginning because I didn't feel like there was a huge push behind it. whereas I felt like Impossible Burger almost became like fucking annoying with how much they were marketing it but like it became like a staple how you say like I'll have a Whopper I'll have Impossible Whopper it became like common yeah at least for me I was really excited about the McPlant and I've never even had one either because in the time that they were trying it which it hasn't been that long and it's I think it's been about a year or less I haven't either been to a McDonald's or been to a McDonald's with a McClendon

that had that had it because anytime I've gone to a McDonald's in the last year I don't really think I've been to that many honestly which is unfortunate for me um I always ask do you have McClendon and they're like what so it was a trial but it was like limited run and the people who would eat it me like never even got the opportunity to try it. Meanwhile, at every single Burger King I've ever been to, they're not like making me feel crazy, gaslighting me into plant. And the second they announced it, they had it at every franchise. Whereas like McDonald's announced it three years ago. And then like one year ago said, all right, it's finally here.

And then it took forever to roll out and not even to every location. It was like specific. I just feel like they set it up for failure. I don't up for failure roll out I don't blame the plant-based community I don't blame the plant itself I blame McDonald's marketing the rollout and the distribution I agree completely I think if everyone followed the Burger King method everyone would have had success and I feel like this is now just like, look, people don't want plant-based options, but they actually do. But we just don't want it the way that McDonald's gave it, which was like second class citizens, like an afterthought.

Yeah, yeah. You could try. It was giving afterthought. You could try Sears McDonald's. You could try Sears. It was giving like low energy, low effort. Yeah, it was like, we want to feel like a part, low effort. Yeah. It was like, we want to feel like a part of the McDonald's experience.

We don't want to feel like outliers. Like we want a happy meal with plant, planty meal. 100%. We want chicken nugget plants. 100%. Well, you know what? Everywhere. Not just like this one burger that we picked out of the trash can and that we're going to give to you.

No. of the trash can and then we're gonna give to you no and I feel like now Burger King is like really the um leader in plant-based fast food and they should really expand to like a chicken nugget I mean that would be well a beyond nugget or impossible that would be so glorious they could also if anybody wants to contact you Gardein they have a delicious chicken nugget plant maybe for Wendy's maybe for Wendy's. Maybe for Wendy's. By the way, it's worth mentioning

that like I don't like burgers. So I don't really eat burgers. And I think the Impossible Burger is so delicious. I've had like a couple bites every time you get it. It's extremely good.

Like it's tasty. And for me to say that, the palate of a four-year-old, it's good. It's extremely good. Makes me really want an impossible whopper real bad yeah you should order one or actually you live in Florida now go get one yeah go get one because they don't travel well it's in but you also still don't know how to drive so you'll have to have Zach chauffeur you to Burger King and you'll have to bring Harry it'll be a whole family date night

that sounds like probably the best date night 100 percent i'm gonna keep eating in your car yeah no next time we're like what should we do for dinner driving around yeah she had a possible burger yeah also harry got a new car seat that he doesn't fucking hate so he loves he does enjoy it what's the brand so it's up a baby we never had a car seat because we were just using the duna because we were just ubering but now that we have a car he has a proper car seat and i was i didn't know what kind of car seat to get because there are so many they're all so different but also also similar and like what's bad what's good i like panic ordered a car seat and then i was like no that's the wrong one and so i finally ordered the olivia was like you should order a car seat that's

compatible with your stroller so i ordered a car seat that's the same brand as my stroller that way i don't need a converter i could just pop it it on, pop it off. So I ordered the upper baby Mesa car seat. And when it arrived, I still like, wasn't sure, did I get the right car seat? I don't know. How will I ever know? And then I received a sign because the car seat, the shade that was, it was in is called the Bryce. The color. The color was called the Bryce. I saw it on the box. I was like, your honor, no further questions. And and you know I'm actually a firm believer in like a lot of this stuff for kids these days is like so overpriced and like so superfluous and like when it comes to a high chair like people buying that like fancy one that looks like a spaceship that costs $500 when

literally a Graco one from Target is $30 and they're the same thing like but I think one of the things one of the few things that you should invest in and splurge on is the car seat. Yeah. I really, like in the beginning, I didn't really buy anything. And I do regret that. There was only so much I could buy in New York.

There was only so much space I had, but like really all of the things that people get, like they, the kids really need it. And the kids really enjoy at least Harry, like everything that I bought for him, like he really loves, whether it's toys, play mats, play gy play gyms like he loves all of it you know what he doesn't love that motorized chair oh the baby zen no not baby zen yo-yo no it like moves around no there was a he had a phase where he really enjoyed and it was a great place to put him but he's outgrown

it now but there was a time telling me put him but he's outgrown it now but there was a time telling me that big fancy chair that has like an electrical dashboard can't figure out a way for the mobile to move on its own the mobile to move oh the thing that goes above yeah that's called the mobile yeah yeah yeah that we're talking about the mama rue yeah like okay so I have to sit there and spin it when I'm putting him in the chair because I can't hold him so I need to get away from him for a second like it's so dumb it's facts it is facts but he no it's also expensive because I just bought it off of someone's registry yeah it is expensive but there was a time where he really did enjoy it and it was a like now he has is able to

play in like walkers and also like a thing that looks like a walk where that's just covered in toys the legs yeah you put the legs and he. You put the legs in the diaper and it's like a little wheelie trolley. And he loves that now. And so that's what I do. And I need a hands-free option. But a few months ago we did use the Mamaroo. Yeah. Because experiencing obviously childbirth with Harry for me,

I realized like when I have kids, I will need 55 options for things they can like be safe in and I don't have to hold them because honestly it's like very exhausting. Yeah, no, it's really backbreaking. And then soon he'll graduate to a play pen where it's like a little fenced in area. Yeah, Emily DiNato calls it baby jail.

That's perfect because like, you know, they're safe and you can go into the other room and take a piss. Yeah, yeah DiNato calls it baby jail. That's perfect because like, you know, they're safe and you can go into the other room and take a piss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just like, fill it up with toys. And it's a grand old time. Yeah, Michaela loves her little jail cell. Yeah, so it's been a journey. But so far, I think I got the right car seat,

the brass and strass. That's how you know. No, that's how I, I literally felt so at peace when I saw that. I said, his brother's always with him. No, that's how I, I literally felt so at peace when I saw that. I said, his brother's always with him. You know what it was? It was God,

Theo's husband talking to you. Okay. But if Theo's married to God, how come he has an infection on his foot? Wait, if Theo's married to God, does that make me God's mother-in-law? Mary?

Give me a second. Oh, no, it would make my grandchild Jesus the son of God. Yes, it would. But you're God's mother-in-law. And I'm extremely toxic. Yes, you are. Nobody's good enough for my son, not even God himself. By the way, what's so funny is yesterday you posted that clip about how when your kids are 18 like they can fucking scram

um and someone posted in the comments it's like you talk a big game but like would you ever treat theo that way never uh okay being totally realistic theo depends on me for survival literal like food water yeah also like you can't spoil a dog. You know, like you could treat Theo like the king that he is and it really won't affect his behavior. It won't affect how he treats others. Like you don't have to worry about him out in the world.

But like your kids, you gotta discipline. Also like kids need to need independence in order to flourish. Theo can be, no, it doesn't matter. Like what? He could only be so independent before he dies without me.

It's like, okay, if Theo's like a little dependent, a little, this a little spoiled, like it doesn't fucking matter. Like he doesn't have to, right.

There's no effect. He doesn't have to go get a job, go meet a woman or a man. Reality check. Yeah. Like it doesn't fucking matter what his personality is. Right. So I don't agree with that and I I stand by what I said yeah no I agree and it's fucking hysterical no I agree

for you I I I don't know what kind of where I'll be in 18 years in terms of my reticence I'll probably be yelling at my kids like Britney Spears like to be honest taking their phones away taking the phones away for sure if they even have phones yeah I can't wait to have that power. That's like, what's so cool about growing up because like as a kid, you know, a frequent punishment of ours was getting like computers or phones taken away. And it was so horrible, like powerless. Like there was nothing you could do about it. Like you were just stuck and I'm going to be able to inflict that misery on someone else. And I'm also going to be able to inflict that misery on someone else and I'm also going to be able to not do that you know what I mean you'll also be able to give it back you could say I'm

gonna take it and then you take it and you're like don't do it again here you go I could take it but I won't not this time but I believe you've learned your lesson no and I talk a big game like I'm gonna be so strict but like literally I can't even keep the cone on Theo's head for more than an hour like I'm literally gonna have monster children who are spoiled because they walk all over me you know like I don't see that I don't see anyone walking all over you but wait you know how like and one of my biggest pet peeves is people my age or like at any age that I'm at being like rude and yelling at their parents. Like it's so fucking disrespectful. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. And I just think it like speaks so poorly of my friend,

if that's my friend doing it. But like, I'm going to be that parent, like whose kids yells at them. Claudia, no one has ever yelled at you in like, in your adult life like sis like you command respect you do no but like I do feel like I'll be like a pussy when it comes to parenting like I literally birthed this child like to yell at him that's the dichotomy that's the balance you know that's the the big question in parenting you know striking the right balance between fear and love I guess like when I've been around Michaela I

really haven't had a problem yelling at her like reprimanding her when she like does something wrong I'm like no yeah it's too important to get it right honestly Jackie it's giving mommy dearest no it's too important to get it right honestly it's giving mommy dearest no it's too important to get it right to make sure that like you raise you know decent I know yeah you can't just go off of like like you have to really be thoughtful I'm not gonna discipline even though like you're acting wrong yeah yeah no it's important I feel like it's just really hard yeah but that parenting is hard yeah that's like when Theo poops in the house. That's why there's so many books about it.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess we'll just have to wait and see, you know, what kind of parent I am. We'll keep you posted. We'll keep you posted. Cause we will be doing this show for the next 50 years.

So you'll find out real quick. We will watch this episode in 10 years. I'd be like, you fools. When one of my kids is like grounded. And I talk about it on the podcast how I had to ground my son. And I'm like really struggling with it. And then someone will send me this episode.

Or you'll be like. And now I'm talking to future me. Okay. Hey, girly. Hope you kept the weight off. I'm going to guess you didn't. Love that for you. I hope you're doing well.

Like I hope you're. You know how. Like I hope you own your home by then. I hope you're doing well like I hope you're you know how like I hope you own your home by then um I hope everyone is good and healthy and I love you and I hope you're still getting Botox and if you're not this is your reminder to make an appointment with Dr. Gacy yeah oh my god yeah once I stop breastfeeding and pumping I can get Botox I'm'm so you have to come up here for it of course of course yeah we'll plan a whole trip and that'll be fun then i'll be i'll i'll be a tourist in new york city i can do all my touristy things oh my god good and you can go with zach because i'm not going with you three bucks in the run two bags one me that's literally

gonna be me literally I'm gonna do things that like I never did when I lived there like I'm gonna go to the Met Empire State Building

still no you have like a thing against Empire State Building I don't like heights no I feel that I don't really care to see the city from that perch

you know I think we should wrap up today's episode because I'm counting my blessings that I haven't been inundated with any noise from construction. There is so much drama here.

I haven't even filled everyone in. I'm like going back and forth with the building management. It's just, I figured out that we've had a construction zone outside of our studio since May 2021.

I like went back and watched episodes and saw when this construction started. There was an episode with Taylor Strecker and all of a sudden there was a scaffolding up. I wasn't there that day, but Strecker and all of a sudden there was a scaffolding up. I wasn't there that day, but I remember like all of a sudden.

And we've been very good tenants. I really haven't complained about it. I haven't asked for a rent abatement or anything. But seriously, I can't imagine what they're doing. It needs to take more than 15 months. Yeah. So I've been I'm grateful for today. They didn't bother me.

And they were trying to be helpful the management they're like let me know if there's like a special episode and we can like tell them to stop but like otherwise we have to keep going I'm like every episode is special like you never know when creativity will strike so true every episode is special I'm like that's like saying one child is more special than another you know yeah no but there's there's every episode is special but there's definitely like one one out of 30 that's like, hmm. Yeah, of course, but we can't predict which one that's going to be and schedule the construction to not be there. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. So that is our show. So exciting that the next show you listen to will be Fridays because tomorrow's Friday. It's also my first show back on tour. So if you want to come see me on tour girlwithnojob.com slash tour tickets available to New York shows New Jersey shows

North Carolina shows Alabama shows Portland shows Seattle shows come see me on tour it's hilarious you're going to have a great time

and you'll get like wasted and just be around like minded people which is always fun girlwithnojob.com slash tour and that's all we got for you that's all she wrote

pencils down everyone pencils down blue books closed thank you so much for listening to girlwithnojob.com slash tour. And that's all we got for you. That's all she wrote. Pencils down, everyone. Pencils down. Blue books. Closed. Thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the Monday morning show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast. Every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast pretty much anywhere podcasts can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places. I don't know of a place where you can listen to podcasts where you can't find ours, but let me know. That's true. But don't tempt anyone to take us.

Oh my God, the construction's here. Bye everyone, have a great day.