The Toast - S5 Ep124: Remy The Rat of All My Dreams: Thursday, September 1st, 2022
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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Good morning millennials! which means the new episode of The Redheads is out. So everyone, stop what you're doing.
Turn off this podcast.
No, I'm kidding.
After this podcast, if you haven't already,
go listen to The Redheads.
It's another fantastic episode,
and I'm feeling hashtag Redheads proud.
Hashtag Redheads proud.
Also, but before you do that,
you should listen to all of our Patreons,
all the episodes on every
show we've ever done on tnn and then the redhead so you can be fully prepared yeah you could do
redheads first you could support a podcast that's trying to support literacy and that's true literacy
and women specifically i would say the majority of our listeners, much to Ben's chagrin,
are women who read.
Yeah.
He's losing that battle for female illiteracy.
It's hard to say.
The battle for female illiteracy wages on.
Wages on.
I have to tell you that on Wednesday's episode,
you told me that your new favorite song is
10 Things I Hate About You.
And one thing I hate about you is that you had that song stuck in my head all motherfucking day.
Sing it, sis.
Them tales selfish for your dating. Soon the job is gay. I'm dating.
It is such a torturous tune. I'm sorry to bring it up on today's episode.
I can't believe you hate it so much.
So tell me, I was actually thinking about it. What other trends do people do with it? Like,
obviously, I enjoyed the cast of Southern Charm, but what are some other ways that people use it?
People use the song to like highlight people that from their past that they've dated, like,
you know, Tom. Oh, it's not people we know?. No it's like there's been no like really juicy tea from it. It's become like a corny TikTok song that I think like the majority of TikTok
does not like. That's why I like it. For sure. Always the contrarian. Always the contrarian.
I'm a TikTok renegade doing the renegade. You're a TikTok renegade doing the renegade
from a video that she learned
on her ipad oh yeah that's my new thing I told you guys now I have tiktok on my ipad
but the thing is I usually leave my ipad in the studio so the time that I would I never go on
tiktok when I'm in the studio but sometimes I'm in bed and I'm like, I would like to scroll the talk now. But my iPad is away.
So it's not been that helpful.
We're getting closer and closer.
I think.
No, we're getting closer.
I'm waiting for TikTok to give me my account and help me get back to you.
Oh, right.
Also, the way that it's funny when I go on TikTok on my iPad,
I just search Morning Toast.
And I just watch the same videos over and over again of clips,
old clips from our show.
It's so premium.
I could spend
a whole afternoon watching clips of us we are hysterical might I add stunning wait let's talk
about the gorgeous nature of ourselves because yes let's I'm literally in some of the clips so
gorgeous and it's a shame because I had no idea at the time. I can remember certain days and certain eras
where it's like, oh, that was like my,
like I just thought I was like not cute.
And it's like, you're so cute.
Well, I actually think that's a huge part of life
and growing up is like looking back on photos of yourself.
And in that time you thought you were like beastly and ugly
and you felt so insecure about your body.
And then like years later you look back
and like you would do anything to look like that.
I think that's just life.
That is life.
So whoever you are right now,
if you're going through one of those periods
where you're like not feeling yourself,
you look great, you know?
You look great.
Just let up on yourself.
I was watching old videos and it's like,
I didn't even know that's what my face looked like.
Like I honestly didn't even recognize, I felt like I was watching someone else honestly I wanted to ask you so
we've obviously now settled into our remote studios um which lighting do you like better
New York toast or transatlantic toast it's I can't say because New York toast most of it I
had a different face right right so um you you agree with the the fact
that like pregnancy changes a woman's face I think weight gain changes well yes but I'm saying like
I can't I can't say because I need to like I don't know if I think you don't know if your face looks
different because your weight is different or because you had a baby yeah no I think it's just
the way because it's just rounder like I I don't think my features have changed, honestly. But also people say that
your face changes more with a girl than with a boy. I really just think it's the weight,
not the pregnancy. But I'll let you know once the weight is gone. Well, you guys could let me know.
Sound off in the comments. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. Not the comments. No, I do not want to
hear in the comments if you think my face has changed.
Thanks.
I think your face is stunning always.
But you didn't say whether or not it's changed.
No, I don't think that it's changed.
I think I'm like, I don't think it's fundamentally changed.
I think I just a little founder.
But I do think like I've seen whether it's like celebrities or people I know personally
go through pregnancy and their face like looks different afterwards.
Not pertaining to weight, just pertaining to like facial structure. I've seen whether it's like celebrities or people I know personally go through pregnancy and their face like looks different afterwards.
Not pertaining to weight, just pertaining to like facial structure.
Yes, but I also think like immediately after you give birth, yes, your face is a little different, but I do think it does go back to how it was.
It's just so many things about pregnancy that look so unappetizing.
Yeah, it's not.
It's not a walk in the park. No no I never thought it was especially
after watching you and Liv go through it. But like to create a human. It's a lot of work. It's a lot
you know you're literally it's the craziest thing to think about to create a life. Yeah no it's not
nothing you know you're not creating an envelope. Yeah who would want to create an envelope? Such a good question. I chose the
stories today and I cannot lie, they're not robust. And I was going to choose, everyone was quaking.
Wednesday night, there was a new boat blocking the Suez and I was going to choose it so we could like
girly girl chit chat about
the suez but it's already been remedied because once something like that happens it never really
happens again on a scale like that try as you may you will never be evergreen try as you may
and they're these copycats they're fraudulent so embarrassing so embarrassing like get your
own idea get stuck in a different canal
make world news in another way like you'll never be what they were stop trying no even though I
would love for someone to be that because I loved the way I felt when the Suez was down
I would love for something else to happen that inspires that sort of worldwide attention
and grasping all of our interests.
I don't want it to be a copycat.
You know what actually recently happened that got that kind of like worldwide attention?
What?
Your comments on working from home.
Yeah, no, that was, but I wouldn't say that it united everyone no way that the suez did because
in the suez there there really was no villain no but in this situation i do feel you are as
though you are unfairly being painted as the villain and i know you don't want to talk about
it i just want to defend your honor for one second if i can go off obviously i mean if you
are like a normal human being you don't know what we're talking about. And I'm so happy for you. But you know, a lot of people were very perplexed. They
were hurt. They were angry about a conversation we had on Wednesday's episode. And if you would
have asked me, Claudia, what do you think people would have been upset about from Wednesday's
episode? I would have said maybe it was me suggesting that Greta Thunberg and Leonardo
DiCaprio start a whirlwind romance. I thought maybe it was maybe my miseducation of Karl Marx
and just socialism in general never did I think people would get upset in the way that they did
about our conversation about working from home which I feel like if you listen to it we had like
a really balanced discussion like I felt a certain way you felt a certain way and we were like
exchanging good points and we were like kind of convincing the other yeah we were feeling each other's ways but
when the chips all landed I feel a little stronger on this way I feel a little stronger on that way
like a conversation but I guess like I think like one person misunderstood what we said and like
gaslit other people into thinking people were so mad they're like Jackie I cannot believe that you said people who work from home don't lead a fulfilling life that's so
hypocritical of you Jackie you work from home um and I just feel like it's so important for me to
say this next statement you never said that I never said that I don't know what show you guys
are watching right this is the morning toast where I never fucking said that. Never. We had two different conversations.
One, we talked about working from home and going back into the office.
And I personally am of the belief that people should go back into the office.
I think that there's a lot of pros to working from home and a lot of cons.
And I actually, I read a lot of people's comments about a lot of the pros that they've experienced.
And I'm really happy for them.
Me too.
Completely.
And that's really, really nice.
Yeah, I think people who contributed to our conversation in a normal healthy way I thought it was really interesting
to learn about people who hated working from home and people who it literally changed their
whole life whether it's because they have a dog or kids or they were able to get in shape
like so many people thrived and so many people hated it so much and I thought that was really
interesting that like we could have a normal discussion about it but then people took it so far no so we talked
about working from home and that's what we said and then you started talking about like days where
you don't you were saying like but why do we have to work at all like I wish we didn't have to work
and I was like but Claude don't you ever have those days like in between episodes of the toast
where for some reason we're not working and we're not on a trip and like those days you can't live all your life as like that. You know we were just having a
conversation about how yeah it sounds nice to never work but actually in practice it's like not
fun. No I wasn't talking about working from home I was talking about not working at all. Period.
That is not a purposeful life. Right so don't get it it twisted. Everyone calm down. She literally never said that.
And I'm sorry to have brought it up,
but I don't,
I don't appreciate people lying on your name.
No,
it's so wild.
Like the,
the energy that was brought for literally the most mundane moronic
conversation.
Like you would have thought.
No,
and I didn't even say it.
I don't know why you guys got your information.
And the other thing is they're probably the people who wrote those
comments.
Aren't listening to this because they didn't listen to the last episode.
But you got to listen to the episode to have an opinion.
Yeah.
And so that's why people like I hate to even get into this, but people are always like
you and Jackie can't take criticism.
If you listen to the episode and you have like a valid argument like and you're not
coming at it like from a really hostile place.
Of course, I'll listen to you.
No, I could.
People expect us to take criticism when they A, don't even listen to what we said.
And B, come out swinging, calling us like mom shaming you, calling us like tone deaf assholes.
Like, fuck off.
You think I'm going to literally give one breath to what you think?
No, totally.
And you can read from the comments.
Like I could tell which comments are people who actually listened to the episode.
And by the way, people who are actually fans of ours versus people who I don't
know found us this comment on some forum and then they took up their pitchforks and they came in
they didn't read it they didn't listen to anything and they look like clowns and not to re-stir the
pot they weren't making a great case for productivity when working from home because
all they were doing was commenting all day long about how
dumb and stupid we are when they were supposed to be working from home.
So they weren't helping their case, even though I still firmly believe like if I was in an
office job, I would definitely want a more flexible remote.
But I think, you know, what works for some people doesn't work for others.
And I really did appreciate a lot of the feedback we got.
Yeah.
And also some of the feedback was got yeah and also some of the
feedback was like this is an ongoing debate that has been happening like in workplaces around the
world right now like nobody really knows the answer and I feel like that was just the same
conversation we were having like you were arguing for one side I was arguing for the other I don't
think any side is particularly wrong or right and I think just like people had different experiences
working from home and I will say I really enjoyed hearing about some of the people who made really great life changes I heard about
some people like losing a lot of weight but from what a lot of what I've read over the last few
years is like that's actually that's not that's been the exception a lot of people like having
stayed home and gained a lot of weight in this country but it's nice to hear the the success
stories too so I liked hearing all of that yeah I like to think I would be the type of person who would lose a lot of weight but I know
it would be the opposite yeah no I just thought it was like an interesting conversation I literally
never expected it to blow up in such a dumb way like you would have thought we were saying
like slurs like with the way people were like so mad at us like calm down no they were just in the
mood they were in the mood and you know what I that. Sometimes I'm in the mood too but girlies have to calm down.
Like it's so important to have perspective. Like in the Big Bang Theory this is one episode of
one podcast and it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. Every little thing is gonna be all right.
So other than that it was a very busy day of saving the bees what's that there's this woman
on tiktok oh god okay she's a she's not like a beekeeper she's like a bee preserver you know
if somebody has like a crazy beehive in their house or whatever they call her because she like
ethically saves the bees and brings them to her hive i don't know what she does and she's never wearing like any protective gear which is why her content goes viral because she like ethically saves the bees and brings them to her hive. I don't know what she does.
And she's never wearing like any protective gear, which is why her content goes viral
because she walks into a straight up hive's nests.
But she cleans it.
She can know like when the bees are going to be violent or whatever.
And she ends every video like after telling us what she did.
And it was another great day of saving the bees.
We need to get yeah but like the girlies who spend too much time on tiktok
they'll know do you want to know what book i started yesterday switching gears because i was
excited to share with everyone that i'm reading elvis and me by priscilla presley yeah you told
me i was really excited to start it because i wanted more info on Elvis and I'm so happy to report also that the book is a breeze. I'm already 60%
in like you could finish it in a few hours and there's a lot of Elvis information and it's oh
it's not great. Oh really? Like right now I'm still at the part they're not married yet.
Some of it is nice and like you get to know Elvis the man a little more.
But there are some very unhealthy elements to his relationship with Priscilla.
And it's not even like the age.
Everyone's like he met her at 14.
Right.
They didn't like even I don't even think they like fooled around until she was 16.
And they didn't have sex until she's married from what I understand.
So it's not necessarily. It's still still weird it's not really the sexual stuff it's like
more the create like taking what's not like taking advantage of her youth but like her
innocence and sort of trying to like mold her to be the woman that he wanted her to be and like wanting her to be that young and um
naive so that he could just make her whatever he wanted and she's very like aware of that but
she's also writing it from a higher perch and it was just you know that that that dynamic between
like such a big star and someone so much older than her like it's not like the healthiest no for
sure but I look forward to it's really a good read and
you do get to know more about Elvis like through yeah as it relates to Priscilla but then also just
like tidbits of his personal life before her as it related to his career and the movies and Colonel
Parker it's all there Colonel Parker I haven't been like good with my reading. I've had like a really busy week this week. I got
so excited. We ended Wednesday's episode on a little bit of a cliffhanger. Oh,
Claudia's chair is being delivered. Guess what? It was. It looks so good. I also
got rid of my neon sign because I wasn't even using it. So hopefully our YouTube videos next
week will be like super premium,
even though they've already been premium.
I was really excited about that.
Yeah, you know what?
It's been like the summer of being particularly funny
and also like the summer of getting our shit together
because Tuesday after Labor Day,
like everyone's back in the office.
Everyone's watching the...
I'm triggered.
I'm triggered.
I meant it like everyone's back.
Back at work.
Mentally.
Yeah, like summer's over.
Everyone dicks around. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Someally. Yeah. Like summer's over. Everyone dicks around.
Yeah.
Oh God.
Some people aren't dicking around.
Sorry.
Oh my God.
I am like literally, this is so stupid.
And some people are pussying around.
We couldn't be pussyfooting around a more mundane subject.
Like it's not that deep.
Right.
So it's the Tuesday after Labor Day.
People start working again.
Oh God.
People start working again.
Oh God.
And we will have, I don't want to jinx it because then we'll have shitty audio and we forgot to press record.
Oh God.
But we will be locked and loaded really in our new studio setups.
Yeah.
I am still thinking, I think I spoke about this on the Patreon, thinking of maybe moving New York studios to a different space. One that has less windows. So there's like less
noise from outside, less construction, less natural light. But yes, for the most part,
this is it, which is exciting. I feel like it didn't take us that long to get it together.
Yeah. It's time for you to move. I know. I'm like over the studio we have now. Now that it's just me, like it's definitely too big.
Mm-hmm.
But like the idea of packing that place up,
like you guys have no idea like how much crap is there.
And like, sorry, like I'm booking you a ticket.
I'm not doing it alone.
Like you have to do it with me.
I don't know.
It feels like a job for the sweeper.
And you know who else it feels like a job for the sweeper and you know who else it feels
like a job for the sweeper sister oh also speaking of patreon um if you guys are looking for content
this weekend we had two premium ass vlogs posted this week so you can watch them when there are no
toast episodes over labor day weekend the first was the one Jackie spoke about she did a nursery
baby favorites blog where she
highlighted all of her favorite like burp cloths, pacifiers, bottles, like real mom tings. And then
I unfortunately had to film a clothing haul, which is probably my least favorite thing on the planet
to do, but people love them so much. So of course I'm going to do it. And I also think like the
negative energy I bring, you know, my mindset is negative and that that's the energy I bring to the vlog I think it makes it funnier and I
actually think that's why people like it is because I hate it but I had ordered like a ton of new
clothing because I'm going on a trip this weekend and I did a try on haul I hadn't tried any of it
on yet and it was definitely a journey it was definitely it was just a lot um the reviews are
rave.
Like people are saying like, oh my God, I'm cured.
Like people are like, this changed my life.
Like people are like obsessed.
What is your style vibe for the trip?
Such a good question.
My style vibe is if it fits, it goes.
Yeah, I figured you would say that.
But like seriously.
And also, do you feel like you're shopping differently now that you're the snatchler?
Not that you weren't snatchler before.
No.
Yeah.
So I spoke about this a lot in the vlog.
Thanks for watching, bitch.
But I literally sent it to you like the minute it was posted.
No, I know you were so busy.
I'm totally kidding.
I spoke about it in the vlog because like you could see in the vlog when I first started trying on clothes, I was, like, so positive because, you know, nothing had gone wrong yet.
And I had to assume, you know, once I think I'm, like, one or two pounds away from having lost 30 pounds.
And that's, like, a significant amount of weight for someone who's five feet.
So I thought, like, it would be completely different. And it was definitely, you know,
better, I think, because a lot of the times when I'm ordering from websites that don't have like
inclusive sizing, I'm usually ordering like an XL, which is the biggest size. And sometimes that
doesn't fit. And like that sucks. So I definitely had more options. But like I still am crippled
with like, you know, hatred of myself you know and like
that doesn't go away yeah but trying on vacation clothes when you're like your pale hundred stressed
out self it doesn't look good on anyone but then when you're in turks and you have a tan and you're
also a little buzzed and you put something on you're gonna be
Brigitte Bardot I just know it so there were a couple like Brigitte Bardot items in my haul like
you'll see everyone if you watch it already you know like I got this pearl dress it's like I'm
literally a model and then I put on something else and I'm like oh my god I'm a lowly street rat like
it's it's touch and go so the vlog was a roller coaster of emotions and it was
really fun so if you guys have been thinking about joining patreon i suggest were you remy the rat
remy the rat to be the rat of all my dreams for someone who like talks about ratatouille the
musical so much i think it's important for me to mention i have never seen Ratatouille there's a musical oh my
god bitch you never listen when I talk no there well there is but like on TikTok someone was like
it all started as like a someone posting like it would be so funny if Ratatouille was a musical
and then people started contributing like and one person was like yeah like the main song could be
Remy the Ratatouille the rat of all my dreams and then it became like this really like
popular trend that a company I feel like it was maybe like broadway.com like a legit broadway
company during quarantine put on a virtual performance they cast like real dancers real
actors and it was a hit that's so funny whenever I think of Remy the rat I think of that meme
that's like who would win in a fight I feel like we've had this conversation on this host where
you've talked about the musical and then I talk about this meme it's possible who would win in
a fight Remy from Ratatouille or Stuart Little and and then someone responded like Remy hands down
like Stuart doesn't know struggle you know stewart is privileged we've had this
conversation for sure it's actually ringing a bell yeah no but remi the ride of all my dreams
and then away it goes i praise you oh ratatouille may the world remember your name not only is it a stunning tune but like it's hilarious
that's really insane no i know that's like times when the internet is just like incredible
that's really insanely funny um i feel like we should dive in by the way i think we should dive
in because if we don't dissect these stories, no one else will care. And you know what?
The world will fare just fine.
But, you know, you got to chit-chat with your girlies.
It's Thursday before a long weekend.
We're going to get you through it.
I feel certain that if you don't hear these stories from us,
you will never hear them.
Again, 100%.
You will never know.
We started the week so strong.
Oh, my God.
There was a surplus
Kelsey Ballerini that we had to literally
bump stories like Carl and
and Lindsay
got bumped to Wednesday you know
what there is a story that
got bumped bumped maybe it
should make it in
Olive Garden
oh yeah I sent
you that story over the weekend.
I thought it was really sweet.
If you want to switch it out for one of the five pieces of trash that I chose,
that's totally fine with me.
I don't feel – sometimes when we choose stories,
like I do feel personally attached.
Yeah.
We all have our faves.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I have to call out my husband now.
I let it slide the first time, and now he's gone too far.
Tell us what he did.
Ben – it's super late.
It's like almost midnight, you guys.
So Ben was like, can you podcast in the living room so I can lay in bed?
And I'm like, fuck no.
So I'm like, you can lay in bed while I podcast.
Even though generally I do not like anyone in the room when I podcast.
And he has now acted out.
I mean, how long have we been recording?
20 minutes?
My timer's over there. Whatever. He has now, and I wasn't going to call him out the first time, but now I'm going to have we been recording 20 minutes my timer's over there whatever he has now
and I wasn't gonna call him out the first time but now I'm gonna have to embarrass him
he farted really loud the first time I actually wrote down the time stamp so I could go back and
listen and make sure the fart doesn't make air and then he just turned on the motherfucking tv
like I'm literally running a business damn Damn, that's so disrespectful.
Oh, you didn't turn on the TV?
Oh my God, wait, he didn't.
Wait, you know when like your Apple... You're making a really good case against working from home.
Wait, okay, you know when like you try to connect
like an Apple device to your Apple TV
so it gives you a code?
Yeah.
So a code popped up.
I'm like, oh my god, Ben
butts with it. And it made a sound
but it literally said Ian Clark.
So Ian's trying to connect
to Apple TV. My squatter.
My squatter got a phone. Your squatter
has a name. Ian.
Ian Miller
Clark.
My daughter married
Ian Miller Clark. My daughter marry Ian Miller Clark.
I have to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding again.
Like, it's been too long.
That's literally one of the best quotes of all time.
You know what's another good quote that I was reminded of today on TikTok?
What?
Tell me if you know what this is from.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
Hold on.
Oh, ready? It's like so cringy and i know you're gonna know it raise your voice yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like everyone claps like it was literally,
I'm like this is, that movie's so good,
but that particular scene is triggering.
The movie is good.
One more mile to Jericho.
That's not from Raise Your Voice though.
That's just from her album, I think.
Oh, well, it's in the ending credits of Raise Your Voice.
Oh I think it's just from Metamorphosis.
A stunning work of art.
A stunning work of art.
What's that song called?
Jericho?
Jericho.
Yeah.
It's so good.
Was she talking about Jericho Long Island?
No I think she's talking about like in the Bible.
I think Jericho is.
I think there's a biblical Jericho as well.
And it's perhaps somewhere that
you want to be and you count down the miles the miles till you get there for sure yeah
so good so good and underrated her music teacher who she's like corbett yes it's aiden from sex
in the city i'm like he saves the movie, he's never acted in anything that wasn't stellar.
No, but that's the thing.
It's because he makes it stellar because Raise Your Voice is, I don't, I haven't seen it
in so long.
So I don't want to like, I don't want to miss it.
I don't want to, I don't want to get hate.
You do?
Yeah.
Okay.
I have, I'm not going to say, say but I just there's something about it that's
like so cringe beyond but like that's what makes it spectacular yeah I mean and he's also in my
big fat Greek wedding like he really knows how to pick roles yeah sex in the city right that's
Aiden yeah okay well let's get into these stories because someone has to.
And the universe decided it would be us.
We are the chosen girlies.
We are the chosen girls to deliver the fast five stories that you do not need to know
before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.
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Our first story, see all the celebrities who showed up for Cameron Diaz's 50th birthday bash.
It was her 50th birthday.
Cameron Diaz celebrated her milestone 50th birthday at Nobu Malibu on Tuesday
with a slew of her A-list pals.
The star stepped out with her husband, Benji Madden,
along with his twin brother, Joel Madden.
They were joined by Joel's wife, singer, not a singer, Nicole Richie.
Yeah, I was like, wait, is Joel not married to Nicole Richie anymore?
Sorry, they were joined.
I change up the words from the article sometimes
because sometimes in these articles they're like.
Verbose as fuck.
The other woman's star, the Charlie's Angels starlet. And I'm like, Cameron. like... Verbose as fuck. The other woman's star.
The Charlie's Angels starlet.
And I'm like, Cameron.
Right.
Mrs. Diaz.
So this one was, they were joined by the good Charlotte Singer's wife, Nicole Richie,
and their friends Judd Apatow, Leslie Mann, Zoe Saldana, Marco Perego Saldana, and Adele.
Okay, I just thought this was really interesting because I would love to just like break down how Cameron Diaz knows each of these people like obviously her and Nicole Richie being
married to twin brothers like that totally makes sense to me and that's just like a factoid of life
that I love like I I just think that's like never not going to be interesting to me.
Yeah and I would imagine that they get along I think that they do get along because they do these like intimate things together.
And that's just so heartwarming.
Because I could so see it like being the opposite.
You know who I was thinking about today?
The Rogers brothers.
Yeah, you know, they never mended fences.
No, they never mended fences.
I know Aaron Rogers was just on Joe Rogan.
Yeah.
And I wonder if it came up.
I don't know if it did. But I think it's like pretty much confirmed that not only are they not speaking
but like Aaron is the problem because the rest of the family speaks they don't speak to Aaron
I know but that's like never a good look Jordan came up on my Instagram and was like pictures
with his brother I think it was like someone's birthday and I was just like it's crazy I know
their brother is Aaron Rodgers.
Yeah, no.
And like Jordan and JoJo, he wasn't at the wedding.
They've been engaged for many years.
And they obviously still haven't worked it out.
It's actually really sad.
And so many people wanted to say back in the day that it was like Olivia Munn's fault.
But she's so far out of the picture.
He's had new, so many ladies since.
It's like, what is going is going on no it wasn't Olivia
Munn and honestly people owe Olivia Munn an apology for that yeah but the way everyone just assumed it
was her that is something that the when I think about it it shocks me all over again like how
these how his brother was on The Bachelor like it's the craziest thing and they don't speak and
he's it's just crazy no and honestly when his brother came on The Bachelor said his brother was on The Bachelor like it's the craziest thing and they don't speak and he's it's just crazy. No and honestly when his brother came on The Bachelor said his brother was Aaron
Rogers and that they didn't have a good relationship at least my assumption and I feel like a lot of
people's assumptions were like oh like your brother's like annoyed at you because like you're
thirsty and annoying like that's why you guys don't have a good relationship when it turns out
it's much deeper than that because the whole family doesn't talk to Aaron. Yeah. It's really sad.
that because the whole family doesn't talk to Aaron yeah it's really sad it is really sad so that's what I was thinking about but anyways back to the brothers Madden well I was just surprised
that there were so many celebs there because you know she's like been officially retired from acting
for a while she did come out of hiding to make the greatest movie of all time the other woman
but other than that she's been like officially retired for a really long time um so I don't know if I would have ever assumed that like her friends were other celebrities you
know yeah like Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann like that sounds like good makes sense as a friendship
they're married same with Zoe Saldana like yeah famous people doing famous people things.
And they're all in the acting biz.
I wonder how she met Adele.
And I'm sure they have such a fun time.
Or maybe they know each other through Rich Paul.
Like maybe Adele was there as Rich's plus one.
Perhaps.
Or maybe Benji knows Adele from, you know, the.
The concert circuit.
The scene.
Yeah, I feel like these days cameron is only really
popping up to promote her wine business we love a mogul so um i just i really can't get enough of
her i really love her i know me too and she's like one of the people i really wish exclusively
good things for exclusively exclusively this article is making me hungry why nobu malibu
oh yeah and that's also like so trendy of her when i feel like she's like very like low-key
out of the spotlight when nobu malibu is very much like a hot spot yes but nobu malibu and i
think this is i feel this way about like some hot spot places where it's like yes it's a hot spot
but it's also like a great meal.
So. Oh, speaking of, I have to redact. You have to redact. I've been meaning to redact. Oh, you did. You slandered a restaurant. I said that the restaurant where Ron Goldman worked
when he met Nicole Brown Simpson and obviously the night he died was Craig's. I don't know
literally where the fuck I heard that and made it up from, but it's not fucking true. So if you
heard me say that, like, no, you didn't't and don't tell anyone else that because it's not fucking true
yeah I apologize it happens yeah no it happens a lot with me like I'm really just like queen of
making things up but sometimes like you pull something from a recess of your mind and like
you're right so are you saying you like as in me or you as I'm saying
people one yeah okay people humanity yeah and so we should continue to do that continue to put
yourself out there continue to assert your facts but isn't it just crazy how like you can have a
vivid memory of something that never happened but you can literally see it in your brain
that I don't know like what I don't know I feel like it happens with me all the time like
particularly related to childhood tings yeah you you think things happen that didn't happen
either that like let's be real like let's let's be honest with one another Paul Rudd
Paul Rudd.
Let's talk about it.
Did he teach me gymnastics?
Probably not.
Do I literally have a memory for the last 22 years of the moment that I described when I discovered Paul Rudd was my gymnastics teacher at like the age of seven or eight?
Yes.
Like it happened. I could literally – I could make a movie out of it.
Like I know what everything looks like.
I know where I was.
That's the thing about memory in general.
It's an abstract.
Or maybe I'm just like, maybe that's me.
The moment something happens, already the memory is messed up in your head.
It's not as it was.
That's why they say that like eyewitnesses in crimes
are really not reliable witnesses
because people are just different.
And even if you saw something,
like it's maybe not what you saw.
You didn't see something.
You saw something plus then you reflected it
off of your own perceptions of reality
and the image that you then saw
was not what actually happened.
Right.
It's so weird to think about.
Yeah.
No, it's so true.
It's like in books they describe that all the time and it always just throws me.
Yeah.
Cool.
Well, that was a fun tangent.
Are you ready for our next story?
Yes.
It's really insane what's going on.
What?
Dancing with the Stars contestants are going incognito
in advance of the new season to hide their identities.
Though, we can figure out who some of them are.
So here are some early cast announcements
for the new season of Dancing with the Stars.
Charlie D'Amelio, Jordan Sparks, Colton Underwood, Heidi D'Amelio, Daniel Durant.
Yeah it was reported that Charlie and her mom. I feel like Dancing with the Stars is usually way
better about not having any leaks. Like you really never know. And because they film on like a private lot,
we've been to it actually,
the Dancing with the Stars lot.
Like it's not something that's easily accessible,
especially by paparazzi.
So I don't know if this is like a press grab,
but also, you know,
Dancing with the Stars is going exclusively streaming.
It's not on cable anymore.
On Peacock?
No, it was on ABC.
So I think it's on Hulu.
Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. I feel
like this is a publicity thing because you made a really good point. How could paparazzi be there?
But I feel like this is a fun way for us to guess who's going to be on Dancing with the Stars and
drum up some excitement. I want to talk about some of the cast because Charli D'Amelio brings
up this point of like every time for a professional
dancer to be on Dancing with the Stars I mean we watched the D'Amelio show on Hulu she literally
talked about being a classically and professionally trained dancer since she was five like she could
be a pro yeah I think she'll win and if she doesn't that's weird she has the most fans and
she's a perfect dancer she will 100% win similar like Jojo Siwa did Jojo
Siwa win yeah no she came in she was in the finale I don't I actually don't know I believe she won
wow but yeah she was on Dance Moms she's a professional right she's been dancing like
and being trained since she was six so I always feel like it's really not a fair competition.
I also don't care because I'm not competing in it.
So what the fuck do I care?
But I do have to say, like, I've really had enough of Colton, honestly.
Like, I need a break.
I know.
And like, he keeps popping up and being relevant.
And it's like, I mean, good for him and his PR team.
His hustle.
Like, they keep getting him back in the public eye.
But, you know, when does he just go to, like, Bachelor Pastures?
Right.
Especially because I think a lot of people, like, don't like him because of what he did to Cassie.
So it's not like people just don't like him, like, period.
Like, people have a reason.
So I really, I'm, like, over it. And I just want to say, I watched Coming Out Colton, the Netflix show. Like, it's people have a reason. So I really, I'm like over, like over it. And I just
want to say, I watched Coming Out Colton, the Netflix show. Like it's just been a lot. It was
like the book, Coming Out Colton. Like it's just been like a steady stream of like Colton
bullshittery. And I never really cared that much to begin with. And I certainly don't care now.
And it's just, it's giving cringe. Yeah, I agree. And Jordan Sparks, that's a fun one.
Wait, so Heidi D'Amelio too.
Yeah, well, so none of this, I believe, has been confirmed.
I think maybe only Charlie has been confirmed.
And it makes sense.
You know, Charlie is the star of her own reality show, which is on Hulu.
And now that they're moving to Hulu, like it makes a lot of sense for her and her mom
to do it.
And I do think her mom is probably someone who will have like a great journey on the show because I'm sure she's not like a dancer but
she you know will get with it you know yeah but I don't know first of all I don't think like any of
these cast members are that interesting or crazy and the fact that it's going to streaming I found
really shocking because I feel like it was one of like the last remaining shows that people still tuned in on cable for yeah it was like a 10 poll of
their programming so that's kind of stunning yeah and then I also read somewhere let me just google
make sure I'm not making this up okay okay dancing with the Stars, Hulu.
Hmm.
Maybe I am making this up.
Hmm.
No, it's Disney+. How does that make any sense?
Oh, ABC.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The streamer announced that season 31 of Dancing with, ABC. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The streamer announced that season 31 of Dancing with the Stars will premiere on September 19th on Disney+. Tyra Banks will return as host.
And yeah, that's what I was going to say.
As will Alfonso Rubiero Carlton from The Fresh Prince.
So I guess that guy Tom is out of a job.
They really cleaned house very quickly in Dancing with the Stars' universe.
Yeah.
That's so strange.
I think this whole thing is so strange, honestly.
Like, between the streaming, the changing of the hosts,
I think this might be, like, the beginning of the end
for a show that I thought was really going to be on forever.
ABC, like, keeps dropping the ball.
Like, between the Bachelor franchise.
And Dancing with the Stars is the sort of show where it's like first of all it's fresh
every season and it's just based on who they get to be on it.
So as long as they're getting people like they really can drum up interest.
It's not like people ever get tired of dancing.
So yeah.
And I think someone like Charlie is like the perfect type of person they should be targeting.
Yeah.
And I feel like a lot of the people they used to put on the show on cable were targeting like a very much older audience.
No, but that's why it's such a great show.
They can literally with every single cast member target every single type of audience member.
Sports, reality TV, social media.
Older, younger, serious.
Like it should be more successful then i thought it was
yeah very bizarre very bizarre but um you can catch it on disney plus and charlie
d'amelio will be doing the renegade literally
should be good are you gonna going to watch? No.
Okay, cool.
Great.
Unless there's someone, I feel like when I do watch,
it's because there's someone on there I'm really interested in seeing.
I feel like two years ago I watched a lot when Lauren Alaina was on
because I was like really following her closely.
Who was on last year that like I,
that was also the year that Hannah Brown was on.
It was like, it was interesting.
Yeah. But so far I haven't heard anyone that's gonna grab my attention who could grab your attention Luke
Holmes yeah you could grab my attention too or like someone on TikTok like I honestly like Addison
yeah Charlie's just a little too young for me actually no I'm too old like to be like obsessed with Charlie like Addison's like 22 Charlie's like 17 yeah they should get Dixie yeah I actually really
I think Dixie's like so cute I like I think all those TikTok girlies are really something
they are really something they've got pizzazz speaking of TikTok Kylie Jenner is clapping
back at a TikToker who accused her of trying to seem relatable.
So Kylie clapped back at a TikTok user who accused the reality star of faking her relatability to boost her public profile.
She commented on the user's video in which he suggested her most recent Kylie Cosmetics lip kit review was very curated to the style of an influencer.
So the TikTok user said, because she's taking a video in her car,
she like accidentally drops her phone
and she's like trying on lip kits.
And it's very like classic TikTok content.
Like so many of the most viral clips on TikTok
are people in their cars.
It's always someone in their car.
That's why I'm not successful on TikTok
because I don't have a car.
Totally.
He said, this is something Emma Chamberlain would post.
And I just think it's interesting because it's like, girl, you're a billionaire,
girl. Why are you reviewing lip kits in your car when you live in a multimillion dollar home?
Who wants to tell him that Emma Chamberlain also lives in a multimillion dollar home? Right. So I
thought this was so funny because first of all, like just because you live in a multimillion
dollar home doesn't mean you don't also have multi-million dollar cars like I don't know what being rich and being in a car like you can do both um and then the comparing
to Emma Chamberlain it's like well Emma Chamberlain is also a list goes to the Met Gala like I was
like I'm not following this man's um take and like I just didn't agree with it and neither did Kylie
yeah so Kylie said it's really not that deeper calculated this video took me five minutes
to make and yes I still drive and do normal things obviously like this was not even a good
like I feel like Kylie's always in her car I mean obviously I'm gonna defend Kylie like whatever
what are we like what else are we supposed to do who are we fighting I'm in but Kylie's always in
her car like because she loves car life she's always like snapping from her car, like, because she loves car life. Mm-hmm.
She's always, like, snapping from her car and stuff.
Maybe the dropping the phone, if you say that that's something that happens on TikTok.
Always.
Like, people are like, oh, shit, wait.
Oh, what are you two doing in the tree?
What are those two doing in the tree?
Also, though, I saw his video pop up, and, like, I didn't think anything of it. And then I went to his page to see like after Kylie had commented what kind of content he was making.
And he was like, I'm literally just like hitting my vape in my room and like talking nonsense.
And now this is like being used as like a news story.
It was actually – I thought his take was really interesting.
He's like, why is this news?
I'm literally irrelevant.
He's like, I'm just like a gay guy
who like gets on TikTok talks about having sex with men I hit my pen and I'm living my life and
I'm just like talking shit literally like why and he was like showing it was every it was like on
every Snapchat discover every um celebrity news website you the morning toast and he was like
why is this newsworthy like who cares what I say
it's so true it was such a good take like I actually really respected once you get called
out by a celebrity there's a million things you could do like in your follow-up content a lot of
people are like super indignant like well that doesn't mean like digging their grave even more
some people are like oh man I'm so sorry I'm such a big fan of you like it's not what I meant
and this guy was just like genuinely confused
like why this whole thing was happening to him.
And it was honestly a really funny reaction.
That is really funny.
It's because Kylie responded
and everyone will just like take any morsel
of anything directly from her mouth.
Yeah, I didn't really feel like this was something
she needed to respond to.
Yeah.
Like the last time we spoke about this was when she was responding to
somebody like straight up slandering her name about being their instacart delivery like that
I can understand being annoyed at the lab but don't forget about lab gate I can also be understand
like someone out there pretending to be like a makeup expert basically insinuating that Kylie's
brands like aren't you know ethically and safely made like I can understand why that bothers her I didn't think this was like that big of a deal and like she made
it newsworthy by commenting on it and we made it newsworthy by talking about it yeah but we're just
doing our jobs yeah but that's cool so I should drop my phone when I get back on TikTok yes so
and then you have a car now yeah so you get in that passenger seat. You get a mount.
Do people like to see you wearing your seatbelt?
Okay, so that's such a good question, actually.
There's definitely a lot of driving etiquette
because people who make videos talking to the camera while they're driving,
first of all, there's nothing dumber.
Like, if I –
No, like, honestly, police should retroactively be able to give you a ticket.
Yeah.
No, like, if Kim Kardashian made a TikTok talking about how much she loved the toast but she's literally driving I wouldn't like it like that's I'm so against it I think it's so stupid
um so you get called out for that so that's why sometimes you'll see people in their car
and they'll be like I'm at a red light or they're like I'm picking my kid up from school I'm in the
I'm in the pickup line so they'll always like preface what they're about to say with like fuck off um
so you have to be conscious of that I actually don't see a lot of seatbelt content honestly
okay but now that you have a car like you should get like you should get like a little
vanity light for your passenger seat and like a little tripod slash mount. And then what should I be saying?
Like what kind of video should I be doing?
Whatever comes to mind.
You could do, remember, you should bring back your iconic lip moments.
Yeah, I could do that.
That should be a part of your content strategy.
Okay, we'll have to sit down and come up with a game plan.
Yeah, toast clips, lip moments, outfits, trends.
And of course, AC.
Yes, American Camper has to make a weekly appearance.
Yeah.
I just need to go back into my archives
and see what I was doing that the people were loving so much.
Yeah, for sure.
I used to do a few dances.
You have moves.
I don't have TikTok moves though.
No.
That I can say.
I don't think many people do.
I have wedding moves.
That's such a good way of putting it.
You slay a wedding dance floor.
Uh-huh.
But those moves do not translate to the renegade.
Yeah, try doing the renegade on the dance floor at someone's wedding.
They'll kick you out.
Big loser.
Big BLA, big loser energy.
Are you ready for our next story?
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Number four.
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You're welcome.
And our next story is some Bravo news that we just can't quit because the
real housewives of salt lake city trailer dropped and it looks like there's something there so jen
shaw that's so funny i was gonna say the opposite well it seems like they're also trying to make
stuff but it seems like there's naturally stuff like this thing about like what happened to
heather's eye and then they flash back to all these conversations no heather probably had an
allergic reaction like that's the thing you have to watch
these Bravo trailers with the most critical eye because every time like they drama drama drama
drama and honestly what I took away from the trailer was that the same energy from last season
where everyone is fighting with everyone about idiotic things and then they're making up and
getting mad at someone else it It's like I saw.
I didn't see any consistent arguments between people.
It was like well Meredith was mad at Heather.
But then she's mad at Jen.
It's like everyone is mad at everyone all the time.
Trying to make a million fights.
Right.
And still there's no one asking Jen Shah. The important questions.
The important questions.
It's like Jen Shah's on trial.
Federal trial in Manhattan.
Like in a silo
and then we're arguing about Meredith and Lisa Vita tequila it's so stupid right but she's a
real housewife on the side like it's so weird I mean I do think I'll give it a shot until of course
until I don't because this really is big stuff that's going on but if it's anything like last season I'm out but I
there did seem to be some interesting things happening I could just like go on and on like
wax poetic about how I don't know a group of women who dropped the ball more than the Real
Housewives of Salt Lake City season two they were given careers on a platter like they joined this
random show but didn't have huge ratings and then this huge thing happened with one of their cast
mates and the way they all continually dropped the ball one after the other
was so crazy to me yeah yeah well there's also two new castmates hopefully they bring something
something about an informant oh I did I you know what that was interesting in the um in the trailer
something about someone being right you want to know why it was interesting because it was about
Jen's trial which is the only interesting thing that's going on jackie i
couldn't have said it better myself but this is i just feel like one of those things where like
whitney like heard a rumor and she like makes it up like kind of how like that whole thing with
jen's uber like they're like interesting tidbits but then they never come to fruition they never
follow through they just like throw shit at the wall yeah it sounds like you know like someone
from mary's church said something they're
always just like pulling theories out of their ass yeah and no more mary no more mary i do think
the show will suffer in its comedic um vibe she was unlike she was not like other girls
i'll miss her yeah i mean honestly she was also infuriating and she used to say
the most like fucked up unethical shit like you couldn't even you really couldn't even like
come to terms with like her funny moments because her outrageous moments were so deeply upsetting
honestly yeah that's true it was her time but it was like a really unique moment in time that we all got to experience and it is always interesting when they find people like unlike anyone you've ever met
that's what these shows are supposed to be for right yeah exactly so it looks promising we'll
keep you posted at premiere september 28th on bravo which is pretty soon i feel like they're
doing a better job of like not giving us trailers three months before it drops. Like okay it's in 28 days.
I can live with that.
Yeah they used to do like so much hoopla for a trailer.
Like they would literally have a countdown to the trailer with a people exclusive.
It's like it's just the trailer.
Yeah totally.
Yeah and we were definitely we were having a conversation on Wednesday's episode about Bravo.
Or maybe it was Tuesday.
And we're definitely like in a dry season of Bravo because it's the summer.
And I don't think like a lot of the franchises are on. So I'm cautiously not even optimistic.
We'll see. We'll see. Are you ready for our fifth and final story which is some really exciting
Titanic news? Yes I am. New Titanic details reveal for the first time in high definition 8k video of the undersea wreck did you see the video
i did see the video i saw pieces of it and i love titanic news so i'm never gonna knock anything
but it didn't seem like any revelatory yeah because we've seen like some footage of the wreck and now this is much higher quality but I'm not so
interested in like the archaeology of what's happening under the sea I know that there are
people who are who like yeah that's their beat my beat is like the history and what happened on the
ship no people are like trying to make news out of this like as if they discovered something they're
like we finally were able to see the brand name of the anchor. Who cares?
Right, right.
Yeah.
No, I want to see the anchor in its glory.
And then also they're upset because in a few decades they said,
like, it's all really going to be eroded.
Really?
Yeah, from the sea elements.
But I don't understand.
Like, aside from it being like a mass grave,
essentially, they're never going to be
excavating it from the sea so we have the footage we see what it is
and that's what happens that nature runs its course well let me tell you how um when i saw
the video like it actually was really chilling because I think a lot of people forget that the
Titanic was real like I think people our age just like remember the movie and like they know it's
based but to see like the ship that actually went down and went down with thousands of people in it
like it was very chilling to see and it was like actually really sad um but I think the fact that
it is eroding is is sad also in the sense that like the history is being lost so that the fact that
these companies I forget what the company's name who did this video that people are ocean gate
expeditions people are recording it so there's a record like I think that that's cool like there's
it has to be recorded I agree I think that that is cool I think there's a lot of ways that the
Titanic lives on I think the movie actually has probably been really great for people knowing the
story and not forgetting it there's also going to be a Titanic experience museum in New York
and you know I will be going oh fabulous when is it I'll be going I think sometime in September I
need to get more information Shannon's coming yes we're so excited no that's cool yeah um and I
actually as someone who doesn't like have a
particular like interest in the titanic i thought this video was extremely cool it's only a minute
long if you guys want to go look at it like they just took a really really high definition camera
all the way down and they showed you like what's going on with the boat like it's still how do you
it's still intact had you not seen any videos of what's what it is under the sea there no and this one was crystal
motherfucking clear 8k what are we filming 4k yes no we film in 4k we film in 4k but in order
to get onto youtube youtube compresses it to 1080p but we film in 4k got it so we're half titanic
ain't that the truth yeah so if you want to learn more about the
titanic i would recommend the book the ship of dreams by gareth neem um is it a memoir or like
uh it's not a memoir because he wasn't on no like no is it someone's story from that or it's just
like facts facts it's like a history book.
Got it, got it.
Okay, I don't think I'm going to do that.
But it will tell you what they ate for dinner every night on the boat.
What did they eat?
They had a very extensive menu.
And you want to know how they knew what they ate on the boat?
How?
Because they found like a menu in someone's jacket.
Whose jacket?
Like someone.
Someone dead? I don't know if they were probably not a dead person
maybe a survivor had it in his dinner like the jacket that he wore but it would have been a man
in the jacket so more men passed away than women because the women and children got on the boats
first yes oh that is so it's like low-key sad like no it's really sad what book but that's just
what's so crazy is like i think for me and i think maybe a lot of people feel this way like
my immediate association with titanic isn't sad it's like oh my god leonardo dicaprio you know
yeah no i i don't think that that's so bad because at least like you know what the titanic was
whereas i don't i don't know how we would remember it if there wasn't a movie right that's so sad the titanic is so sad i know that's like obvious but
like it's kind of not i i hear what you're saying i agree and i feel like the further that we get
away from it it's easier for people to be like desensitized to it because it's like you know
such a uh so far in the past yeah but. But it is really sad.
No, and so videos like this,
like just, you know,
keep it in the conversation.
Mm-hmm.
Agreed.
And that's why I love
the Titanic story.
Those were the Fast Five stories.
You certainly do not need to know,
but I hope you feel better
that you did now.
Hopefully it's lunchtime
wherever you are,
even though this episode
is going to be released early
because it's podcast only.
So it's probably time
for a mid-morning snack.
Ooh, what are we going to have?
You know, I love, not to be like toxic diet girly,
I really do love apples and peanut butter.
Like, more peanut butter than apples, but it's really good.
They're a good vessel to eat peanut butter.
Yeah, like, don't, if I ever start eating celery and peanut butter,
you have every right to come over to my house and shoot me.
Celery is tough because it gets stuck in your teeth.
Oh, and it's also disgusting disgusting it's like watery as fuck it's not disgusting because it doesn't taste like anything but the texture and the stringiness is hard it's disgusting
like period um so this was our final episode of the week we're back with the video and audio
episodes on Tuesday.
So everyone have an amazing Labor Day weekend.
Recharge, rejuvenate, rejoice.
And we'll see you on Tuesday.
Thank you so much for listening to The Morning.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Be safe.
Enjoy the last licks of summer.
Thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast,
the millennial morning show where we deliver the best five stories
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beautiful stunning and smart we are happy labor day weekend and we will see you on tuesday bye