The Toast - S5 Ep130: Fat Fingered F*ck: Tuesday, September 13th, 2022

Episode Date: September 13, 2022

Emmy Awards 2022 Winners (15:54)  Ray J slams Kris Jenner, claims he filmed 3 sex tapes with Kim Kardashian (Page Six) (34:36)  Howard Stern slams 'annoying' US coverage of Queen's death: ...Enough! (Page Six) (41:56)  Jacob Elordi to Play Elvis, Cailee Spaeny is Priscilla Presley in Sofia Coppola's Film 'Priscilla' (Variety) (46:40)  Swedish House Mafia Talk 'Affordable' IKEA Collab: 'I Wish We Had Those Products as Kids' (PEOPLE) (50:43)  Unburden Yourselves (unburdenyourselves@gmail.com) (54:44)  The Morning Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) NLOG Tickets Merch The Morning Toast Patreon Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry (Book)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the morning toast and happy Tuesday, arguably the worst day of the week. Hey, Jax, how you doing? I'm doing okay. I've caught whatever rolled had, so I'm now 16. You hate to see it. You hate to see it. You know, doing my best.
Starting point is 00:00:21 I'm so glad that we recently bought full body heating pads. They're like heating pads that you wear. We'll post the link at like not to be like so rubbing your face about our new heating pads. Right. Like not to brag. Not to brag. And I hadn't busted it out yet because the other bruise heating pads sufficed for the both of us. But I've been wearing my new heating pad and it's definitely a small bright spot.
Starting point is 00:00:44 A hundred percent. Heating pads like truly change and save lives. So I'm so glad that we invested in ourselves. Yeah definitely. I know I left both my heating pads like on my bed and I just like no brew is in the bed. Cuddled up in multiple heating pads. So jealous. Living the life I want to live. I, um, it's always been like, obviously fairly clear. Like I'm the number one auntie to rolled, but I think, you know, during this time while he's been sick, I have started to feel like sympathy pains as well. Like I have like a sore back. I have a little tickle in my throat. I am really, um, and I need to take care of myself because I have tour this weekend. Tickets available
Starting point is 00:01:26 at girlwithnojob.com slash tour. But honestly I wouldn't have it any other way because if Rold suffers, we all suffer. We all suffer. Of course now he's semi on the mend and the rest of us are down and out. But I mean I just need to know how long this is
Starting point is 00:01:41 going to last for. That's so classic Rold you know. Is it the day? Is it three days? Like I just I need to know. just need to know how long this is going to last for. That's so classic rolled, you know? Is it the day? Is it three days? Like, I just, I need to know. I need to plan. That's the thing about being a mom that I've, like, learned from Olivia, especially with Kayla now, like, being a social girly, going to, like, different camp and classes and things.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Kids are literally disgusting. Like, they are cesspools of germs, bacteria and like illnesses. And justice for the teachers. Yeah. Those teachers have immune systems. Strong like steel. Yeah. Because Kayla, it's every other day with her, you know?
Starting point is 00:02:17 Yeah. That's kids, man. Kids are for you. Kids are. And I just assumed I wasn't going to get whatever he had because I have a stronger immune system, like having 30 years of immunity. But no, it was just laying dormant, waiting. Laying dormant.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Waiting until like he started to feel better so that like we could double the length of the illness. Right. Like it never ends. And then I'm sure in a few days Zach will be like, I'm sick. For sure, Zach. Babe, I'm feeling like a few days Zach will be like oh I'm sick for sure Zach babe I'm feeling like like a little like scratch my throat yeah and I'll be like that's not the symptom so you're making it you're gonna gaslight him I love that I know I mean that's the scratch is the symptom but like he'll be like and and Ronnie knows a little bit but he'll be like my stomach hurts
Starting point is 00:03:03 like I think I got what you guys got. I'm like. No, you didn't. I think that's also, it's just the time of year now. Like the seasons are changing. There's been like a real palpable shift in weather here in New York. Like it's that gorgeous fall chill. Like really one of the best times to be in New York. And that's when everyone gets sick.
Starting point is 00:03:20 So just get ready. Yeah. I wouldn't know if the weather here has changed. I haven't left my house in like five days. Let me check the weather let me check the weather app is it still in the 90s 87 oh no it gets to 90 later today oof you know Ben is like a firm um hater of the weather app like he refuses Ben has like so many weird things like if we're driving somewhere I'm like it's not like a complicated route it's like obviously like the Long Island Like if we're driving somewhere and like, it's not like a complicated route. It's like, obviously like the long Island expressway or the BQE, like,
Starting point is 00:03:49 and I put it in like Apple maps, like the app, he will pull over to the side of the road and do it on Google maps. My husband too. What? Like, okay. If we're going like to all it is like for sure.
Starting point is 00:04:02 I don't know. Plus like whichever one they're using stinks. Agreed. We're always late. They all stink. Honestly. Ever since Google bought Waze and corrupted it because Waze was taking over. They all stink.
Starting point is 00:04:14 You just have to like get out your map and your magnifying glass and find the back roads. Hundred percent. So while it is Tuesday and that's not great. It is a huge day here at the Morning Toast because we announced a little while ago that Shannon Ford would be joining Toast News Network and season two of her show launches today. A lot of you guys already know and love Shannon.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Her episode on the Toast was so critically acclaimed. I believe it's in the running for a Peabody Award. You guys loved her so much and her podcast is so good. She works so hard on it. Like I feel like sometimes you'll see like people doing podcasts just because like that's what people do and not really like giving it the attention it requires. Shannon does video and audio content. Her video content is so stunning. She's so stunning. She looks so glamorous in every episode. She lives this like fabulous, interesting life. She's funny. And it's really like an It Girl
Starting point is 00:05:03 podcast. It's called probably a podcast but it should be called the it girl that's so funny because that's also what we wanted to name lauren elizabeth's podcast we're just friends with so many it girls or we're like beyond unoriginal like come up with one good idea and like use it multiple times i didn't remember no i think we're consistent and it just like goes to show that we're friends with such it girls like maybe it's because we are it girls and we attract that it energy fellow it energy I didn't realize that that's what we wanted to call um Lauren Elizabeth's podcast do you remember now that I'm reminding you like it was just it was an
Starting point is 00:05:36 idea that was floating amongst the others I thought really good about it but I have no recollection I was brutally rebuffed well I'm just so excited for us. Like, I'm so grateful to Shannon for joining our little fam. And I think you guys are going to love it. So you can watch it on YouTube, but she's also available, you know, anywhere podcasts can be found. And she's a premium girlie. There's a lot going on in her life.
Starting point is 00:05:58 She is like an international man. I know. I feel like there's always a lot going on in her life, just in general. She's just like one of those people. But right now is definitely an interesting time to be following her a lot going on in her life. Just in general, she's just like one of those people. But right now is definitely an interesting time to be following her, to be listening to her podcast. She like lives between New York and Nashville, which is like goals.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Goals. And then she's constantly going across the pond to see her new man, who is a subject, a former subject of Her Majesty the Queen. So true. Maybe we should get him on the toast. And ask him what the temperature is like. I wonder if he's like a monarchophile. What's the word? A royalist?
Starting point is 00:06:33 Monarchist, yeah. Or maybe he's a hater. An anarchist. I think a lot of young people in the UK, I mean, I don't know shit about fuck, but I think a lot of people, like young people, are rebelling against the monarchy in the UK. I don't think so. I I don't know shit about fuck, but I think like a lot of people like young people are like rebelling against the monarchy in the UK.
Starting point is 00:06:47 I don't think so. I really don't. I really don't. I really don't. We'll have to ask Shannon's man. Shannon's man. Also, she has a ton of like previous episodes. If you want to go catch up with Shannon, like learn a little bit more about her.
Starting point is 00:07:01 And she does great guests. I was on it. So obviously she has a really low bar for guests. She did a really good episode with Hannah Burner. So there's just good shit on there and it's premium as fuck. So why wouldn't you join it? It has the TNN stamp of approval. Big time. Big, big time. So, you know, just mogul things. Mogul things for the day. Yesterday was like a major mogul day we were booked and busy like the thing about being a mogul is like sometimes I don't want to be one you know like sometimes I just want to lay in my bed especially be a regular girl
Starting point is 00:07:34 oh thank you I'm so wait back to Shannon I believe now we are the industry's leading podcast network for redheads. We have two. We have two plus we have the Redheads Book Club, which is constantly elevating the voices of redheads and readheads. And Shannon is a natural redhead. Yes. Not that it makes a difference, but it does. It does.
Starting point is 00:08:00 And I just, I thought that was interesting. I think per capita, we have the most redheads. Oh, for sure. Because now we're at like 10% redheads. Right. Because we're two redheads plus the redheads show. And I think we have now 10 shows on TNN. So like, just makes you think.
Starting point is 00:08:16 It does make you think. I have to start comparing with other networks. But I don't know how many other redheaded podcasts there are in the big leagues. I know the only other redheaded girly is J.C. Marie of what we said. But other than she, I don't know what redheads are out here doing. You know what's cool to think? Oh, I'm sorry. Conan.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Oh, wait. Prince Harry. He doesn't have a podcast. his wife does um wait also now this makes me think ready except Conan kind of threw a wrench in what I was about to say next like do you think you're the biggest female redhead podcast host I mean I do I don't know of any that are bigger I was gonna say redhead period but Conan is definitely bigger than us so you'll have to be the female Conan let me look at the charts yeah I don't see a lot of redhead representation on the charts yeah but like maybe the person who hosts the daily anonymously like is a redhead they just like don't put their picture everywhere
Starting point is 00:09:23 well that wouldn't count because like no one's tuning into to the daily for like the dynamic personalities like they're tuning in just for the news and like if you're not a visible redhead then like you're not out here doing the work you're not making like an impact for the movement no and like for the redhead community right sorry no i completely agree i'm looking through the top podcasts. Okay, there's Conan. Classic. There we are. I didn't see a redhead before I saw us.
Starting point is 00:09:51 So that would make you the biggest podcaster who's a female redhead. Yes. I'm going to add that to my bio because I never know what the fuck to put in there. A hundred percent. It's like Jackie's an Instagram instagram influencer podcaster yeah lifestyle brand enthusiast she's a mess like writing a bio is probably like the worst part of this job painful experiences of someone's life and you have to constantly be updating it she is a mess to follow stop not be a mast jackie's so right jack claudia can be seen on the Today Show
Starting point is 00:10:25 Steve Harvey Yeah like watch Bravo's Watch What Happens Live Like just kill me Because all the things like that are like notable Happened to me 10 years ago you know Yeah no your book Your tour I had to recently update my bio I added my tour
Starting point is 00:10:41 My book TNN But I just feel like the things that are most interesting About me like aren't the things you put in a bio. No, like, literally, who cares? Yeah, yeah. People, like, the bios, they only care about the fake shit, not the real shit. So true.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Like, if you have a good bio, you're a fake person. Totally. Like, I want to know how many books you read last year. Oh my god. By the way, I officially reached over 100 books read since you got your kindle since I started my goodreads so what when I started reading the December of 2019 was it or December 2020 that's amazing how many books have you read this year so far let me check 43 wow and your goal is 50 goal was 35, but now it's 50 and I think I'll hit it. No problem.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Let me see how many I've read so far this year. 26. Good for you, by the way. That's good. Yeah, my goal for the year was 30, so I'll need it. Oh, you'll hit it. Just from redheads. Hopefully we'll take like a nice trip at the end of the year. That's where we get all of our reading in.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Yeah. I was talking to Ben about it because like I saw in my Goodreads it was at 101. And I'm like, oh my God, like I was like so excited and proud of myself. And he's like, that's great. Like being all patronizing and not supporting literate women. And he's fake because he's being called out.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Right. But I was just trying to explain to him like why it's such a big deal. And it's obviously like great to have read. But it's also great for me to have like done something I swore I would never do. Because like I'm so stubborn.
Starting point is 00:12:02 And there's so many things I would love to, like in an ideal world, yeah, I would love to like in an ideal world yeah I would love to be a girl who goes for runs but we all know that's never gonna happen and reading used to be running yeah so maybe I'll start running or skiing I would love to ski but I just am not I'm not physically capable like I'm really not I think you are I think you should give it another chance. By the way, when I was watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in Aspen
Starting point is 00:12:28 and they were so fabulous and like their Fendi jumpsuits and just like whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. It's, there's nothing more elegant and rich and cool than skiing. Like I would love to take like a weekend trip. The one time I went, I swear to God my legs were going to fall off.
Starting point is 00:12:44 I think, I think you could do it now because I weigh less it was a lot of for sure it was a lot of weight podcast listeners I did not yeah I the part of the reason why I thought my legs were gonna fall off was because my entire body weight was like being heralded on my shins which aren't in particularly great shape it's also really hard on your shins at first even sometimes like once you're skilled you just have to like lean onto your shins and it really hurts yeah but i do think being a bit more light light will help you i think you should try it again at some point i know but it's also it's not something like that's just like let's just try it to get to the mountain with all of your shit and not faint is borderline impossible.
Starting point is 00:13:28 So just to try it, but also like all the work that I had to put in before that. Yeah. It's not like, oh, what if I just, you know, went to the mountain? It's like a whole thing. Yeah. Well, I think the opportunity will present itself at some point. I would love it. Like, is there like a private mountain?
Starting point is 00:13:49 Yeah. the opportunity will present itself at some point I would love it like is there like a private mountain yeah like if somebody would invite me to their home with like a private mountain where like I could just put my skis on in my bedroom and then walk outside like ski out that I'll just try it because if it sucks how do I get home yeah that I think you like take the chairlift up and then ski down to your house like if you live in the middle on a mountain, you can ski out and then ski down the rest of the mountain. Got it. But I don't know. How do I get to the... I've never done it.
Starting point is 00:14:12 I've never skied out. So that sounds like a luxury that I would definitely like to afford. Yes, for sure. Okay, bucket list. Bucket list tings. We've got a great show. I did watch the Emmys last night, and I actually have a lot of thoughts,
Starting point is 00:14:26 so I'm excited to talk about it. And we've got Unburden Yourselves, so I feel like we should dive right in. We're busy girls. We don't have Unburden Yourselves, actually. We have Unburden Yourselves. We don't have Unburden Yourselves? I didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah, you did. No, I didn't. Roll the tapes. We have Unburden Yourselves at gmail.com. We do, by the way. I plan have unburden yourselves at gmail.com. We do, by the way. I plan to unburden themselves. Okay, without further do-do-do-do-do, here are the fast five stories that you need to know
Starting point is 00:14:53 before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast. And today's episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Hiring is a challenge, especially right now when you have so much on your plate. Luckily, there's one place you can go to where hiring is simple, fast, and smart, a place where growing businesses is connected to qualified candidates. The place is ZipRecruiter.com slash toast. So ZipRecruiter does the work for you. They use powerful technology to find and match the right candidates up with your job.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Excuse me. You can easily review these recommended candidates and invite your top choices to apply. ZipRecruiter is so effective that four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And it's a no wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2 satisfaction ratings as of January 1st, 2022. Right now, you can try ZipRecruiter for free when our listeners go to ZipRecruiter.com slash toast. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash T-O-A-S-T. ZipRecruiter.com slash toast, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash T-O-A-S-T. ZipRecruiter.com slash toast. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Great. Okay, our first story, Emmy Awards 2022. All the winners, losers, fashion moments, etc.
Starting point is 00:16:02 So let's go through the winners, shall we? moments, et cetera. So let's go through the winners, shall we? Yes, because I just happened to have, like at 7.59, I saw something on Instagram, like, oh, the Emmys. And I turned it on and I just started to watch it because there was like nothing else to watch. And I have to say, I really enjoyed it.
Starting point is 00:16:16 I thought it was super well done. They wasted no fucking time with dumb shenanigan shit. Kenan was excellent. And I thought it was a gorgeous affair, really. Wow, I'm so happy for you. They got their shit together. It was much tighter. You know, it was like awards, presenters, awards, presenters, like no dumb like shit. Packages. No packages, no Keenan embarrassing himself. Like he was doing a good job. He was being funny and he was getting from point A to point B. Great um i did not
Starting point is 00:16:45 watch but here are the list of winners and look we were familiar we watched so many of the shows yeah yeah so it was nice i mean white lotus swept completely it was ned schneebly's night and nobody else's that's the guy steve zahn no ned schneebly is the writer and director of the show. It's like his baby. And he won on like all the major categories. And he played, he was played by Ned Schneebly. His name is Mike White. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:16 And someone also messaged me that he directed the Emoji movie, which won a Razzie. So he is on his way to Regatt. This is huge. Adding another layer. Right. Okay. Let's go through the winners. The plot thickens. We'll share another layer. Right. Okay, let's go through the winners. The plot thickens. We'll share our thoughts.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Yeah. First, Outstanding Drama Series, which is like the big award. Yeah. Succession. Oh, I was so happy for them. It was so crazy to see them all together. But then the guy who was making the speech took a dig at the monarchy. Like, why you got to make it about King Charles? That was kind of loser-y. Like, you just won an Emmy why you gotta make it about king charles that was like kind of
Starting point is 00:17:45 like you just won an emmy and you're talking about the king right and i think brian cox who plays logan is british yeah he didn't say anything though i think he was offended by that no it was just like hella fucking unnecessary like and they left the queen out of In Memoriam. She's not an actress. Yes, she is. She's been in things. She's inspired many a program. The Crown. There's no show without her. She literally just died.
Starting point is 00:18:14 There's an In Memoriam. Like, pay some fucking respect. No, I don't think it was necessary. And they left out Norm MacDonald. That's what I saw. No way, because he was literally nominated last night for his. see him he was nominated posthumously but in memoriam segment no I didn't watch it in memoriam no offense like it makes me sad like I don't like I don't have my eyes glued for who they snub you know yeah I heard they snubbed Norm that's moronic and I don't know if I I can cannot imagine that's
Starting point is 00:18:42 true he was literally nominated last night. I'm just telling you what I heard. I was happy since session one. They were all at the same table, except Kendall Roy was at the White Lotus table. Maybe there was like not enough space, but like I just thought that was weird. Well, they're both HBO tables.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Oh. Yeah. And maybe he's seeing someone in the White Lotus cast and tom won for lead actor or supporting actor well okay outstanding lead actor in a drama series went to lee jung jay from squid game well deserved then outstanding lead actress in a drama series went to zendaya for his euphoria and that was historic and everyone in the room was just like, it was literally like Zendaya's bummets. But like, it was like about her. She looked unreal.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Best dressed. Best dressed. Her hair like was this cute little baby doll style that really went with the dress. She looked incredible. Like she is that bitch. Her speech was really beautiful. And she's really beautiful.
Starting point is 00:19:41 And it was just like sad that Tom Holland wasn't there. Why wasn't he there? Because she was just like a solo night out for her. I don't know. Like celebrities like to do that. Like when like I think because when you show up with your mans, especially if you're not often photographed with your mans, it becomes about that and not about your accomplishments.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Like that's why Taylor's like never at the Grammys with Joe Alwyn, you know? Yeah, but like how could anything really dwarf her accomplishments at this point, you know? No, it's true. But I don't know if that was the reason why or maybe scheduling, but like, make it work. Scheduling. Yeah. It actually is a really busy week globally. It is.
Starting point is 00:20:16 The Kelly Clarkson Show has moved to New York. We haven't even spoken about that. So exciting. And she did like a little promo video singing Welcome to New York by Taylor Swift. And like, honestly, there's never been a greater piece of work. So does this mean Kelly's moving to New York? Yes. As a woman?
Starting point is 00:20:34 Like as a human, as a mom. Yeah. I don't know. Does that mean she's going to enroll her kids in the private school system here? I got to find out where they go to school and not to be a freak. That's really freaky. Yeah. No, that's actually like really inappropriate.
Starting point is 00:20:45 I take it back. Sorry. I don't know if like if she would come and like for three or four days a week. Bang out like two shows a day. That's what a lot of people do. And then move to Montana or wherever she lives. L.A. Nashville.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. OK, back to the Emmys. Outstanding supporting actor in a drama series. Matthew McFadden's Succession, who plays Tom, also known as Mr. Darcy. When he gave a speech and it turned out he was British and like, I just didn't put that together, even though I knew he played Mr. Darcy, it was quite jarring. What did he say? He was just like, so like shook and like so happy. And he obviously just loves his job and like loves being on Succession.
Starting point is 00:21:27 And he's like definitely a funny guy in person. What was so weird about last night was like, and I don't remember an Emmys season where there was so much of this. Where like every category had like three people from the same show. So he was up against Kieran, Nicholas Braun, and Greg. So like it was weird. Yeah, that is weird. And Severance also. I know every show,
Starting point is 00:21:49 Dope Sick had like three people per category. There was really like four or five shows that had like multiple candidates in every category. And then there was like Sydney Sweeney being nominated twice, once for Zendaya, I mean Zendaya, once for Euphoria and once for White Lotus. And she didn't win for either.
Starting point is 00:22:04 No. She looks great though. Actually she didn't win for either. No. She looks great, though. Actually, I was not a fan. I think sometimes she looks like really just not fashionable. And so considering that, I thought she looked really good. Yeah. Who made her dress? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:22:17 I want to say Tory Burch. Can you just double check before I make my point about that? Sydney Swing's dress. before I make my point about that. Sydney, sweet, and stress. Oscar de la Renta. Okay. Because she has this big partnership with Tory Burch, and so she wears a lot of Tory Burch couture. And the brand is just a little matronly for her.
Starting point is 00:22:43 She's the youngest, hottest thing in Hollywood right now. She's wearing grandma dresses. Yeah, I feel that. Like and that one last night, while it was better, it's still a grandma dress. Yeah, I know lies were told. Pete Davidson was also at the awards and he was looking cute. Did he seem sad? Actually, yes.
Starting point is 00:23:03 That was my first thought. I just like want to know what's going on. was also just like a big night for comedy because obviously SNL was nominated a bunch of times and then there's the comedy category for the specials Gerard Carmichael won um it was just like a big night for like I just felt like there was a lot of comedians Bowen Yang was nominated and he was there Lorne Michaels was there and Lorne, they won like the variety sketch comedy. It's like, yeah, what else? Yeah, true. OK, let me finish the winners.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Yeah. Outstanding supporting actress in a drama series, Julia Garner Ozark. Outstanding comedy series, Ted Lasso. We can now confirm. Oh, that was nice. That it is a really good show. Outstanding actor in a comedy series, Jason Stakis, Ted Lasso. Honestly, like totally deserved.
Starting point is 00:23:43 I love Ted Lasso. Every time they won, I wanted to cry. Totally. Outstanding actress in a comedy series, Jean Smart. Hacks? Oh, the way that the Emmys keep giving Jean Smart her rightfully deserved award when there's so many good women in that category, like I'm grateful for. Like Hannah Einbender did not win.
Starting point is 00:24:04 So I thought like maybe they were over I mean I don't think she deserved to win but I thought maybe like you know the Jean Smart thing was just like a a fluke last year yeah no I looking at the category I hadn't watched anything else but she deserves it like completely hand handily next outstanding supporting actor in a comedy series Brett Goldstein Ted Las Lasso, Roy Kent, right? Yeah, Kendall Roy, Roy Kent. It's definitely confusing. Yes.
Starting point is 00:24:29 I was so happy that he won My Jewish King. He's so hot, Brett Goldstein. I think he was at my bat mitzvah. And I think he deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for that one line he delivered that changed my life. I think you might be dying when that girl has bad breath like I actually never laugh at TV and I swear to god I think I peed my pants it was so funny me too next outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series Cheryl Lee Ralph Abbott Elementary you watch that yeah I do I haven't watched like all of it but I watched
Starting point is 00:25:03 a good chunk of the first season and like Abbott Elementary is the cutest TV show. And it's you just aren't going to be rooting for them because like their pjoms and pjows like they had all this money for to do press for the Emmys like that the network gave them and they donated every single dollar to give school supplies to the public schools like which is so moronic that like we even have to do that but like they're like a show that like highlights like the trials and tribulations of being a public school teacher in an underfunded and like low-income neighborhood and they're like walking the walk and talking the talk like I just love them and the show is fucking funny that's awesome yeah and Chessie is in it I heard and Chessie's a redhead I heard and Jesse's a redhead to ship a podcast hopefully not next outstanding limited series the white lotus then outstanding actor in a limited series or movie Michael Keaton dope sick standing actress in a limited series or movie Amanda Seyfried the dropout that was shocking yeah she was up against Julia Garner invent inventing anna lily james pam and tommy margaret qualley made sarah paulson impeachment tony collette the staircase i thought margaret qualley
Starting point is 00:26:11 could have or should have won same with sarah paulson she was amazing as that annoying bitch in impeachment yeah these are all shows that like i intended to watch like really truly like still on my contemplate that i just never did i feel like I've gotten away I feel like I watched Pam and Tommy though um I did it was good okay then outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series Jennifer Coolidge the White Lotus she gave okay the one thing I want to say about the Emmys is that like award shows are always like playing the music for people every single person who got on stage had a clock in front of them and they kept saying oh my god I only have 30 seconds like they gave people no time and this year I guess they like asked all the nominees to submit like a list of people they would want to thank
Starting point is 00:26:54 so that when the person ended up winning they put like dude Jean Hacksmart would like to thank her brother blank and her agent like it was so disingenuous and like if we're not gonna listen to the people who are winning like that's what we're watching for no like this more than ever I felt like they were cutting people off and to their credit they did end at 11 o'clock not 11 30 but like cut something else for real like why it was actually like rude that is rude and it like trips people up and probably makes people go longer as opposed to like if I knew I had this much time left as instead of being like sorry oh you know wasting time I'm being like I know I need to wrap this up yeah like shut up like just talk instead of talking about wrapping it up you're wasting time
Starting point is 00:27:33 and I also feel like there needs to be someone in the back like editorializing the amount of time people have because it's like Jennifer Lotus should have more time than Jennifer Lotus someone who just like won again yeah no they definitely use discretion like Jennifer Lotus is out again yes I'm not feeling well they definitely choose like they pick and choose who they get you know kicked off like Amanda Seyfried while she is like A-list like she's not like super like you know she wasn't like inspiring anyone with her speech like she got kicked off but um that's what I mean you know the woman from I'm so sorry I cannot remember her name from Abbott Elementary like saying and was like literally giving a speech that was bringing
Starting point is 00:28:16 people to tears about just like never give up on your dreams like look at me like it was just like and nobody played the music like as they shouldn't have right Lizzo that's what I mean there needs to be someone in the back being like do people want to hear from this person are they really saying something impactful or can we like save some minutes here yeah they definitely use judgment but that's also not fair like everyone worked equally as hard like give them a minute they give a minute yeah they get like 30 to 45 seconds. Okay, then we have Outstanding Variety Talk Series last week tonight with John Oliver. Like that category being like Jimmy Kimmel,
Starting point is 00:28:50 Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert. Like, I'm sorry. Like, I'm like, I have such a hatred of late night talk show, late night TV, because it's literally like, I'm sorry, it's talentless hacks. Like, it's all like, it's like how I feel about David Letterman. Like, I've just started to recently, like, really hate that group of people.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Yeah. Because I feel like they got famous in a time where, like, they were the only people getting famous. Like, they weren't giving out shows to, like, Asian women, you know? Like, it was, like, straight white men. And, like, they're not funny. Like, literally, it's a fact that, like, Jimmy Kimmel is not fucking funny. They're not funny like no literally it's a fact that like Jimmy Kimmel is not fucking funny they're not funny the shows aren't funny how many writers do they have on these shows how many people do they have working on them to put out this piece of garbage every single night oh and there's like six of them yeah it's just not interesting
Starting point is 00:29:40 no and so the fact that like they're still getting these prestigious nominations, you know who deserves that award? Cody Coe's podcast. People actually like that. Yeah. That's only the potties. Not to make it about us. There should be one podcast award within the Emmys. Sorry. I agree.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Especially for people who do video. Yeah, especially for one that's hosted by two sisters, one that's redhead, one that's fab or not. Just think about it. And I did feel like they were getting a little bit more creative, like nailed it with Nicole Byer, which is like actually a genuinely hysterical show that got nominated in like the competition category.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Yeah, Outstanding Competition Program. She was nominated, but Lizzo's Watch Out for the Big Girls won. And you know what was so crazy? I didn't know that Lizzo had a show. You didn't? It's on Amazon Prime. It's like a worldwide search for, like, really talented backup dancers who are not, like, the traditional, like, what you would come to expect
Starting point is 00:30:35 from a dancer's body. That's cool. Yeah, and now they're going on a world tour. Like, it was actually really cool. The dancers? Yeah, like, Lizzo was actually involved in it, and she, like, loves the girls, and all the girls were there oh that's so cool how have i never heard about it but um it was a crazy kind of upset because rupaul always wins yeah and rupaul was there like he obviously thought he was
Starting point is 00:30:55 gonna win yeah well it's it's nice like it could go to someone else someone else could have an emmy on their shelf no it's so true and now i feel like Lizzo is definitely like in the EGOT. She has the E and the G. But could she be REGOT? The O is the hardest. She could write a song for a movie. Yeah. Check that there.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Okay, well, that's your Emmy's recap. There was one thing I wanted to say before we wrapped up. And it was just to kind of go off of how much I fucking hate Jimmy Kimmel. Great. So he presented with Will Arnett and they did this incredibly unfunny bit. Oh shocking. Shocking stuff. Where like Jimmy Kimmel
Starting point is 00:31:34 was like dead on the floor the whole time. Like Will Arnett dragged him out by his feet. Dropped him at the microphone. Will Arnett like did the presentation. And when they announced the winner who was Quinta Brown from Abbott Elementary which is just like this if you if you've been following Abbott Elementary it's just like this incredible story like it's just this feel-good show and it's written by a black woman
Starting point is 00:32:00 like it's it's like a great triumph and it's it was this moment for her and Jimmy Kimmel stayed on the floor like pretending to be dead for her speech like get it like got in her way like she literally couldn't even get to the microphone that's so funny I can't it's hilarious I can't stop laughing ha no that's I was like you're kidding me like this is a huge moment now in every picture your dumb dopey body is get the fuck up bitch get up it really fucking pissed me off get up what the fuck was it oh and above all it was not a funny bit so it's like if you're gonna like risk being rude you gotta got to be funny. And unfortunately, Jimmy Kimmel, being funny is not something he really does all that often.
Starting point is 00:32:48 But it sounds hysterical, Claude. No, it was so dumb. And then afterwards, when they do press for all the winners, somebody asks, like, what did you think about that? And it's very clear she's a political queen. She's on ABC. He's on ABC. I do believe they know each other like he might have even been like somewhat helpful in getting her on abc so like she wasn't gonna like
Starting point is 00:33:11 you know be rude so she was like well i don't know what the internet thinks like i thought it was fine it was like she was she wasn't she wasn't telling the truth but she was being political she was like saying the right things but like not with the enthusiasm of someone who believes that. She had no like energy. She was like, oh, I thought it was funny. I think it's hysterical. One of the funniest things I've ever heard. It really fucking pissed me off. Like, and now there are people on the internet
Starting point is 00:33:36 who are literally going around photoshopping all of her images and getting his body out. Like, how stupid. Gorge. I like the hate that I have for like the Jimmys. Well, actually, I hate that I have for, like, the Jimmys. Well, actually, I kind of like Jimmy Fallon. For Jimmy Kimmel specifically and, like, all the, like, the late night hosts who I just feel like are really undeserving of all that they have accomplished.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Like, I'm sorry. I don't know if that's, like, mean to undermine their entire careers. But, like, it's just how I feel. My hatred has grown stronger. Especially when, like, there were so many shows last night that came from streaming and aren't, like, the typical. Like, these aren't aren't you know people who were just handed tv shows you know what i mean yeah so it just felt when they did that category i'm like you're kidding you're kidding damn yeah okay well that's all it was a good night yeah i'm glad you enjoyed it i'm
Starting point is 00:34:21 shocked that you watched no i know and i didn't enjoy it it was really star-studded like reese witherspoon was there connie britain was there oh yeah amy poehler it was just it was premium wonderful are you ready for our next story are you i'm just not feeling great today so oh my god it's contagious the next story is brought to you by kitsch they say that hair care is the new skin care but there is one brand that has taken it to the next level with a cult-like following kitsch has created game-changing essentials that beauty enthusiasts swear by from satin pillowcases to time-saving towels kitsch knows hair care doesn't stop in the shower
Starting point is 00:34:58 so whatever your budget your skin type your hair type kitsch believes you deserve little indulgences at affordable prices morning noon noon, and night. They were started in 2010 by selling their hair ties door to door. And now they are a self-funded female founded and carried in over 20,000 retail locations. So they offer a lot of great different hair products. So if you sleep like an animal, like myself, their satin pillowcases, caps, and eye masks are great. So you don't wake up and have to redo your entire head of hair. This is only something I've recently started doing. And I cannot believe how much time and heat I've wasted on my hair
Starting point is 00:35:30 by not just sleeping with a satin pillowcase. They also have shampoo and conditioner bars that makes bottle-free beauty the future. They have heatless satin curling rollers that people on TikTok are obsessed with. They have quick dry hair towels. If you are like me and it takes 24 hours for your hair to dry, it might be time to buy yourself one of the quick drying towels. And their classic hair ties and scrunchies. I also love their claw clips because I have long, thick hair.
Starting point is 00:35:55 And a traditional claw clip is not going to cut it. Kitsch is offering you 30% off your entire order at mykitsch.com slash toast. That's 30% off anything and everything at M-Y-K-I-T-S-C-H.com slash toast. MyKitsch.com slash toast for 30% off your order. Gargis. Gargis. Okay, our next story. Ray J is on the warpath.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Oh, yeah. He is slamming Kris Jenner, claiming that he filmed three sex tapes with Kim Kardashian to get the right one for Miss Kris. Ray J is doing whatever it takes to clear his name. The singer who infamously appeared in a sex tape with ex-Kim Kardashian slammed Kris Jenner on Saturday after she took a lie detector test he claims was fake. So we talked about this last week. Kris Jenner went on James Corden.
Starting point is 00:36:40 And the lie detector man was the man from Lisa Vanderpump. He is the man that I believe like David Dobrik uses in his vlogs. He is the one and only lie detector test configurer in Los Angeles. There's only one lie detector guy in LA. And it's him. And it's him. And he administered Chris's lie detector test where James Corden asked her if she sold Kim's sex tape.
Starting point is 00:37:03 And she said no. The lie detector determined that was true and this upset ray jay because he is back to square one insisting that chris sold the tape made them film it three times because she didn't like how kim looked and he's putting up some presentations on his instagram um trying to prove that this is the case. So while I did see some of the proof, I didn't feel like any of it was like, you know, bulletproof, like it could just be a piece of paper that he wrote, you know, take one, take two. Yeah. And I don't know, I just and perhaps I'm just a Kardashian blind loyalist apologist and I own that, but I just, and perhaps I'm just a Kardashian blind loyalist apologist
Starting point is 00:37:45 and I own that, but I just have a hard time believing. Okay, because I feel like at first, you know, they were, before the Kardashians ever addressed it, people used to say like, Kris sold it. And I was probably like, yeah, she probably did. But like, it worked. So who cares? Like, you know what? We're past that.
Starting point is 00:37:59 But then they started, you know, addressing the fact that people think it. And that made me think, no, because if they did actually sell it, they would have just, like, continued to ignore. Yeah. They don't have to address it. So the way that they handled it made me think that, no. And so no one was even talking about it anymore when they did that James Corden thing. And if the Kardashians didn't want to answer it, James Corden wouldn't have made the, like, they obviously had approval over it. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:38:24 and wouldn't have made like they obviously had approval over it right right so the fact that they're like not against talking about the fact that people think it was Chris makes me think it wasn't Chris yeah I don't know what I thought it was I feel like it was like gonna get out or something and then they got involved in order to not, in order to make money with everyone else. Get ahead of it. Yeah. Perhaps. Also, I remember watching season one of The Kardashians, and, like, emotions were high.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Like, the girls are not actresses. No, and not season one. No, like, I've seen them act in some shit, and they stink. Like, they're not actors. Yeah. Like, those were raw real emotions but when she was gonna go on tyra even if it wasn't chris who sold it i don't think it's ray j who sold it like i feel like we can let ray j know like we don't think it's you
Starting point is 00:39:15 isn't it like some no i think it's ray j like uh literally a year ago ray j's manager like right someone in his circle. Yeah. Perhaps. But like, I don't think it was Ray J. Especially after this. Like, he really is intent on proving his name. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:37 The thing is, like, I don't really care. Like, I have moved on. Yeah. Have you seen the sex tape? No. I have. Somebody showed it to me when I was in high school. Like, I'm not going to say his name because he's married now and I actually just saw him.
Starting point is 00:39:47 He's a nice boy. But he showed it to me and I was literally like, what? I'd never seen porn before. It was really graphic. I don't even know. Yeah. So I have moved on since that fateful day in junior year. Yeah, me too. I don't know what I believe
Starting point is 00:40:05 but I'm not like mad at anyone I'm not this isn't like stopping me from being a fan of Ray J no like his earbuds Raycon you do love his earbuds he has like a tech company yeah Raycon he puts the Ray in Raycon. Yeah. So I just, like, I don't care. I don't care. Question. Do you think Kim and Rachel are going to get back together?
Starting point is 00:40:34 I do feel like she's like a little still hung up on Pete. And once she kind of heals from that journey, maybe she's willing to explore things again with Ray J. But I'm not sure. There's really no telling the future. You never know. Honestly, that's like less crazy than Kim and Pete getting together in the first place. A hundred percent.
Starting point is 00:40:47 I mean, I am still holding out hope for Kim and Reggie Bush. Like that really was like OTP. I'm holding out hope for Kim and Chris Humphries. I'm not. I don't think two people have ever hated each other more. No. And you know what? Like Chris Humphries has every right to hate Kim because as much as I love her, like I
Starting point is 00:41:04 can't admit that wasn't her finest moment no I think she would admit that and you know whose moment it really wasn't finest either Chloe why like during that show like that series like she was kind of mean what do you mean like when they did Kim and Chris getting married or yeah Kim and Chris getting married what did she do she was like mean to like Chris and like his sister. Do you remember? No. It was just like so awkward. Like everyone was so unhappy
Starting point is 00:41:29 and they were trying not to be and it was hard. Okay, I need to go back and watch but it honestly like it was not a good time to be a Kardashian fan. No,
Starting point is 00:41:38 it was also weird that like Kim married someone with the same name as her mom. Yeah, and it's like an alternate spelling too. No, they spell it the same. but both of them.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Yeah, they both spell it non-beaten way. Non-traditionally. Hundred percent. Weird. Okay. Are you ready for our next story? Yes.
Starting point is 00:41:57 In today's news of fools who are disrespecting the queen, Howard Stern slams annoying US coverage of the queen's death he says enough oh my god this is tough for me because you know you're two queens yeah we really look up to howard stern howard stern has had enough of queen elizabeth ii the outspoken radio personality slammed the wall to all u.s media coverage of the monarch i can't hear this in a tirade during monday segment of the howard stern show he said it's weird traditions and everything and i'm like jesus enough with the queen he told his co-host robin quivers when her death was brought up i mean it's america we don't have a queen okay that's like not
Starting point is 00:42:36 like that crazy i know but like he's not here for all the pomp and circumstance by the way that's like fine with me like i am am okay with, you know, looking up to people who I don't share every opinion with. Like I'm okay with that. At least he didn't say like, I'm glad that bitch is dead. That's what I thought.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Like he was, cause he could be a little crazy sometimes. Yeah, no, he didn't say that. He's just like not here for all of our obsession with it. But that's why you tune into the morning toast because if it goes into Howard, he's not here for it.
Starting point is 00:43:03 That's fine. But here we're going to keep you updated on one queen story a day in some way queen and Jason until the end of September I can guarantee it yeah and like not everyone wants to tune in and listen to a curly-headed fuck okay I'm kidding I'm kidding I just wanted to hurt Howard like he hurt me yeah I'm lashing out I guess he didn't get invited to the funeral right oh clearly someone's a little bit uh jealous jealous why do you see prince charles i'm sorry king charles cavalier spaniel is going viral like for his fingers um like the way with the pen no two things he's got everything he's doing he's like getting roasted one is because like they're
Starting point is 00:43:43 calling his fingers it's really mean honestly like sausage fingers because he's got like chunky are they body shaming him they're body shaming the king okay well as the official spokesperson for fat fingered fucks um i think that this is disgusting do you stand with charles i stand with charles a lot of us are really insecure you don't think we'd all like long lean fingers some of us weren't born that way and some of us no matter how much fucking weight we lose still have big fat fucking hands okay and some of us no matter how much weight we gain still have pretty slim fingers no it's not right like the way you prance around with those pointy little fucks it's crazy like my fingers have expanded like a little bit since being like a big fat fuck but it's crazy my ring sizes are so small like my wedding ring my my engagement ring is pretty
Starting point is 00:44:33 small but it still fits but like my wedding band is literally a size three I don't even want to tell you what mine is okay but my engagement ring is like a three and three quarters so big um huge what's yours i don't really feel like sharing i feel like you're a six seven which is like an average size i would prefer to share my pant size than my ring size okay okay what kind of pants do you wear bitch fuck off what are you saying the other day that we should all share our weights? Yeah, but everyone else has to go first and then I'll decide. That's funny.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Anyways. Um, so I just would love like weight transparency. Like what does like, like, okay, there's a body that I like, like what do you weigh?
Starting point is 00:45:22 Okay. Yeah. I feel like Kim's always telling us what she weighs, which I love. Okay. That's for sure. But like, that's not what I'm like. Like, what do you weigh? You know? Yeah. I feel like Kim's always telling us what she weighs, which I love. Okay. That's for sure. But, like, that's not what I'm referring to. No, no, no. I know.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Regular people. I know. But I like knowing. Also, I think we're, like, around the same height as Kim. So it's actually interesting. That's, like, so sad. Because I'm so far from her weight. When someone's, like, really, really tall, though, it's like I can't even relate.
Starting point is 00:45:42 No. I was just having this conversation. I forget who. Oh, with Heather McMahon. Because she she's so tall and she was talking about how she really carries her weight very well and she does because she's so fucking tall and actually it's like not fair it's not fair tall people can eat more and and then I was saying Ben has the same thing Ben carries his weight extremely well it's not fair and I'm just like a roly-poly-oly over here trying to get out the door. Yeah. Also, Prince King Charles is being made fun of like the he's like was pushing around his pen things like to the servants.
Starting point is 00:46:13 Yeah. Just being kind of a tyrant. Yeah. No, he definitely gives like bad boss energy. Like, is he going to be a tyrannical king? I feel like those days are past because the kings and queens really don't have power. So powerless. OK, you want to be crazy like ghost you in your room right um go to your room but is he gonna be like charles the terrible he's gonna be charles in charge charles the
Starting point is 00:46:36 terrible terrible trolls are you ready for our next story we're not at the fifth and final yet no but this next story i'm really excited to talk about what because it's some elvis news oh have you seen the news okay i feel like this is the fifth no choose six no here one was emmys two was ray j three was howard stern four is what i'm about to say oh but we just like went on so many tangents yeah four was my ring size right right right so Sofia Coppola is coming out with this Priscilla Presley biopic and the cast is coming in guess who's playing Elvis which was another biopic yeah but it's about Priscilla but no it's totally giving like sad fraudulent energy it's giving like when there were two
Starting point is 00:47:23 Snow White and the Huntsmans, you know? Yeah, no, but it's like Elvis is Austin Butler. If anybody wants to make another Elvis movie, you're going to have to cast Austin Butler. Okay, wait, so who was playing Elvis? Jacob Elordi. Isn't that like a little loser-y? Honestly, I'm embarrassed for Jacob.
Starting point is 00:47:43 This is really weird. Who's playing Priscilla? Priscilla being played by um Kaylee Spani but like to me Olivia de Gange is Priscilla so if you use Kaylee Spani I just need to look she's from Mare of Easttown and Bad Times at the El Royale like good luck how do you spell Kaylee how do you spell spawning c-a-i-l-e-e space s-p-a-e-n-y i don't see it yet no i just like the i feel like this kind of is behavior is really beneath Sofia Coppola. Like her dad is Francis Ford Coppola. Like the whole thing is odd to me, especially because like we got the Elvis movie and this is like Felvis.
Starting point is 00:48:36 No, I'm like, I'm literally ashamed. This would be like if Harry Styles like he didn't get the big movie. So now he's going to play Elvis in this small movie. Harry Styles like he didn't get the big movie so now he's gonna play Elvis in this small movie no because the way I'm like so shook up by this information you're all shook up I'm all shook up and to be honest I feel like Jacob Elordi just got like a little less hot honestly no I know like if Sofia Coppola wants to make a movie about Priscilla Presley I absolutely love that you have to cast Austin Butler and Olivia de Gange. Otherwise, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:49:08 What's the point? What are you doing? All that I love's mine. I miss Elvis. I don't. Why? Honestly, the more that I sat back and, like, marinated with the film, the more I thought
Starting point is 00:49:25 it was actually a horrendous movie for real what about all the standing ovations that say otherwise oh well that changes things for sure it was good like it was entertaining but as a film it was bad like really and that's not to take away from austin butler like i actually still think he deserves to be nominated for an oscar i think tom hanks deserves to be put on a secluded island tom hanks deserves jail but i think the film was not good i don't think it was an accurate no maybe not accurate i don't think it was a effective retelling of elvis's story i think if that's the story we're leaving to like a younger generation, like nobody's going to respect Elvis.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Would you respect a loser? No. No, I wouldn't. Yeah. So you're saying we do need another Elvis movie. Kind of, but like Austin Butler is Elvis.
Starting point is 00:50:24 Like that's what the movie was successful in. Yeah. So maybe that's what Sofia Coppola felt. Like she saw the movie, she said, this isn't what we should be leaving the children. I'm going to do it my own way. Because maybe Sofia Coppola believes that the children are our future. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Are you ready for our fifth and final story? I am. In weird collab news swedish house mafia talk about their affordable ikea collab swedish health mafia is teaming i'm gonna start that again swedish house mafia is teaming up with swedish founded retailer ikea speaking to people magazine about the collaboration the house music super group shared their experience growing up with the brand in Sweden and how the retailer played a very large role in their lives.
Starting point is 00:51:11 The two Scandinavian powerhouses joined forces to produce Obegransad, a limited collection that will enable the many rising creatives in music and digital arts to build their home studios at an affordable price. The products will be... Bitch, sign me up. Where was this a month ago?
Starting point is 00:51:32 The products will be launched in the U.S. and globally in October 2022. Oh, so it's like the line is for furniture you need if you build an at-home DJ studio? Yeah. It's very niche. Studio spaces, vinyl collections, DJ tables. That's kind of cool. This is very niche. I do feel like, you know,
Starting point is 00:51:51 obviously Swedish house mafia, Swedish Ikea, I get it. But I do feel like them sitting down with People Magazine to talk about like a furniture collab is so beneath them. It's giving a bachelor nation. I know. That's why it's bizarre but it's unique new york but the collab itself is an interesting idea but also it's like swedish house mafia like can barely get together again to do like a final show at burning man with
Starting point is 00:52:17 millions of people and like so true now they're like pulling ke Clarkson and designing furniture together. It's unique New York. I feel as though you needed to know that. Yeah. It's nice to know that everyone is loving the bar. Not just us. So that feels good. Yeah. I like your TMT sweatshirt.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Thank you. It's like such a cute sweatshirt. I've been wearing so much merch recently and it's just all so cute. It's the only way to live. Merch. I'm sorry. Like shopmorningtoast.com. Also shopchanel.com. much merch recently and it's just all so cute it's the only way to live merch i'm sorry like shop morningtoast.com also shopchanel.com if the first one crashes yeah right we have a backup site
Starting point is 00:52:52 um shopchanel and then there's also shophermes.com that's spelled h-e-r-m-e-s hermes um can we dive into unburden yourselves no what's that unburden yourselves. No, what's that? Unburden yourselves. Yes. It's brought to you. It's like that Drake meme. Unburden yourselves. No. Unburden yourselves.
Starting point is 00:53:17 Unburden yourselves is brought to you by Seed. It turns out everything you think you know about probiotics might be wrong. You know, I did think that probiotic tortilla chips might have been too good to be true. The good news is that... Are you laughing at me?
Starting point is 00:53:34 Yes. It's funny, right? It's really funny. Seed is so funny. Good news is that Seed's DS-01 Daily Symbiotic is the real deal. What is the Daily Symbiotic? It is a broad-spectrum 2-in-1 probiotic and prebiotic. It's a 24-strain, broad-spectrum probiotic and prebiotic formulated for digestive, gut-immune,
Starting point is 00:53:56 and additional systemic benefits. It's a capsule-in-capsule, and it protects against stomach acid, digestive enzymes, bile salts, and viability through digestion. Basically, the live probiotics will actually make it to the end of the small intestine for delivery into the colon. So if you've taken a probiotic before and you don't feel a difference, it's likely because the good bacteria wasn't surviving in your GI tract. SEED is designed differently, and that's why it works. It supports the benefits in and beyond the gut. It'll support the ease of bloating, healthy
Starting point is 00:54:21 regularity, ease of evacuation, you know, take big dumps is what they're trying to say. But it'll also support your gut barrier, your skin health, your heart health, and your micronutrient synthesis. If you want to start a new healthy habit today, visit seed.com slash toast and use code toast to resume 20% off your first month of the Seeds DS01 Daily Symbiotic. Seed.com slash toast. Use code toast. All right. so unburden yourselves at the beginning of every week you write into us tell us something mortifying that you did or that happened to you and we are going to make you feel better about it we're gonna unburden yourself yourself so we've got two today and the first one is perhaps my favorite one hello jackson clore clored how you doing clored mcclord the literally most literal the literal most awkward situation happened to me Hello, Jackson Clord. How you doing? McClord? McClord.
Starting point is 00:55:11 The literal most awkward situation happened to me yesterday, and I simply must unburden myself. I'm a high school teacher, and yesterday, after I decided to stay a little later to get some grading done, I needed to pee. There's a student restroom literally three steps outside of my classroom, and my room is in the back in a kind of secluded hallway. So I normally just use that restroom instead of having to walk all the way around to the teacher bathroom. Well, that was a mistake because while I was in the stall yesterday, two students came in. One started belting out singing Justin Bieber songs
Starting point is 00:55:34 like she was literally on Broadway. And it was pretty funny at first because the girls obviously didn't realize I was in there. But then they got really quiet and I realized they had started making out. I was literally frozen because I didn't want to come out of the stall and I was literally frozen because I didn't want to come out of the stall and embarrass them, but I also didn't want to keep just sitting there
Starting point is 00:55:49 listening to their kissing noises. That's weird. So I tried to like make noise by getting toilet paper, clearing my throat, but they just kept on. Then they started giggling and whispering to each other, no stop. And I love you so much. And no, I love you so much. no I love you so much and then one of them said no don't start crying it's okay and then more kissing at this point I could not come out of the stall because they would think I was either pooping or eavesdropping on them the entire time so I just had to sit there and listen to it all until they finally left it was so awkward and I wanted to die sincerely never using the student restroom ever again. That is so awkward. I didn't. But at least like, at least nothing happened. Like, yeah, you made it out alive.
Starting point is 00:56:30 You just had to sit through an uncomfortable situation, but nobody knows. I forgot. Sasha, I don't know if I ever realized that teachers and students use different bathrooms. Did they in our school? I feel like, yeah, you don't see the teacher in the bathroom. I feel like, yeah, you don't see the teacher in the bathroom. I don't actually know if that's true. Because I'm thinking of, like, think of the third floor in our school. Like, where was the teacher's bathroom? The student, the teacher lounge was there.
Starting point is 00:56:55 Yeah. So where was, was there a bathroom in there? I don't know. But, like, there should be separate bathrooms. Yeah, it makes sense. There should be separate bathrooms. But makes sense there should be separate bathrooms but this girl obviously is you know using convenience of course no no i understand why she used the kids bathroom um that is just like so crazy so they knew someone was in there the whole time because she started making she started making noise though or they just but
Starting point is 00:57:20 they were kissing they didn't hear they were lost in each other like I want to die for you because like you had to listen to like some minors like making out and like you're their teacher and it's like definitely inappropriate but like nobody knows you're not gonna get in trouble you don't have to face them so like it's fine you could totally on this burden yeah you can on the burden but now I'm just like thinking about bathroom configuration logistics uh and especially in a men's room, like urinals. Like you can't be peeing like that next to your teacher. You can't be peeing like that next to your student.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Right. That's the same thing. Mix of things. Sound off in the comments. Yeah. And I'm fairly certain our school did not have separate bathrooms. Maybe they do now. Why now?
Starting point is 00:58:02 Like what's, why would they have separate bathrooms now? Like just like things change. I don't know. Like it's been 10 years since we've been in school. Maybe they got now. Why now? Like what's, why would they have separate bathrooms now? Like just like things change. I don't know. Like it's been 10 years since we've been in school. Maybe they got a new bathroom. No, it's like either the teachers and the students are peeing in the same place or they're not. For.
Starting point is 00:58:13 I actually feel like maybe there was like a single stall, like family restroom vibe. Like between. Do you know the third? Like you know what I'm talking about. Yes, yes. Third floor. Like across from the elevators, it was like the nurse's office and the teacher's lounge and then to the right was like the men and women's yeah I feel like there was a single
Starting point is 00:58:31 stall in between the men and women's room and there was a single stall in the nurse's office maybe that was what the teachers used yeah makes you think definitely definitely i'm thinking things are being thought all right next up hello jacks claude roldini brass and stress he doesn't come to work with mom anymore it's so hurtful i ask him every day i say brice come with mommy and i'm good oh i'm good i'm like sliding him okay mega toaster here with a major burden that must be und this weekend i went home with a guy who i know decently well he's a friend of a friend we've hooked up before we don't really chat or anything like that i'm a modern woman i'm in my mid-20s i have a sex positive attitude and there's no shame in my game but as we were getting into the act i
Starting point is 00:59:19 started hearing a familiar voice saying hello hello that's when i not so quickly realized that i had accidentally answered a phone call from my mother on my apple watch while twisting around in the sheets she was checking in and i got her off the phone pretty quickly yes she was on speakerphone through my apple watch like a fucking special agent but now i fear i can never speak to her again p.s i don't typically wear my apple watch out at night but i had a busy evening right after work so i mindlessly forgot to take it off never again loving kisses This is just further proof that nobody needs an Apple Watch. Yeah. Yeah. I know you're very anti-Apple Watches. Yeah. I think, well, first of all, they're ugly. So if you want to wear them to like work or like to work out, like I understand,
Starting point is 00:59:58 but like get a speedometer, get a pedometer. An Oura ring. Like, yeah yeah like I think Apple watches are for honestly the great unwashed wow and now you have another reason to not get one or wear one the only time in my life I've ever seen a useful benefit of an Apple watch was when I saw someone boarding a plane and they had the Apple watch as their boarding pass like that was pretty sick I think there's also like some other interesting things but I've never had one and I've never like wanted one I count my steps with my aura ring deuces um I don't think your mom probably knew what she was listening to in the first couple of seconds unless you were like oh yeah baby fuck me good like but you she didn't say that she said that so I feel like she didn't. So if you're into dirty talk, like you might have an issue.
Starting point is 01:00:46 But if not, your mom maybe thought you were working out. Yeah, and as you stated, like you have a sex positive attitude. There's no shame in your game. So if your mom like figured out what she was hearing, then you'll just be like, yeah, mom, that's what I did. Yeah, and hopefully you inherited that, you know, fearless, confident woman energy from your mom.
Starting point is 01:01:02 So it's really, it's her to blame. So ladies, you can un-knees burdens and unburden yourselves. confident woman energy from your mom. So it's really, it's her to blame. So ladies, you can un-knees burdens and unburden yourselves. Yeah, this week was mild. This week was mild. I'm so glad nobody's really going through anything that like would put us in a pickle. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:15 Not to make it about us. Yeah, no, never. I know that you are not feeling well, so I will let you go. It's okay. I think I sweat through my whole track suit. So it's good. Thank you for
Starting point is 01:01:25 showing up for the toasters when nobody else would so you're the best love you guys and thank you so much for listening to the morning toast the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube so if you're watching this on YouTube please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up we're also available as podcasts anywhere podcasts can be found so it's Spotify iTunes Stitch Republic Radio I hear pretty cats box all the places we have is the podcast right now so we're just a faster review about a beautiful stunning it's where we are hope you have an amazing Tuesday we'll see you tomorrow for hump day.
Starting point is 01:01:46 Goodbye. Bye.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.