The Toast - S5 Ep131: The Redhead Swap with Shannon Ford: Wednesday, September 14th, 2022

Episode Date: September 14, 2022

1. Leonardo DiCaprio, Gigi Hadid Moving to Next Level, But Still 'Taking it Slow' (Page Six) 2. Britney Spears Responds to Christina Aguilera Body-Shaming Backlash (Page Six) 3. Jennifer Lawrence Breaks Down This Season of 'RHOBH', Including 'Evil' Erika Jayne (Variety) 4. Ryan Reynolds Undergoes 'Life-Saving' Colonoscopy - and it was all caught on video (Page Six) 5. Kourtney Kardashian Reveals Response to Son Mason Asking For McDonald's Fries After a Year Without (People) - Dear Toasters ([e-mail]) The Morning Toast with Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) and Shannon Ford (@probablyshannonford) NLOG Tickets Merch The Morning Toast Patreon Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry (Book)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning Millennials! Welcome back to The Morning Toast and happy Wednesday! It's hump day which is so appropriate because there are you know few people in this world I'd like to hump more than I'd like to hump. Today's co-host as you guys probably know if you follow us on Instagram Jackie's very sick she made it work yesterday she cannot make it work today she has a hundred and one fever so I have swapped one redhead for another redhead because we are a network that believes in redheads. I love that about you guys.

And I'm so happy you're here, Shannon. Like, I'm devastated. My sister is sick, obviously. But like, I'm upset, too. I'm obsessed. Hi. Hi. And the timing is perfect because we were talking about you yesterday on the podcast.

Well, for those who don't know Shannon, like, are you OK? Shannon is the best. Shannon is reality star, influencer, queen, podcaster. And as of yesterday, her podcast, probably a podcast, joined our Toast News Network, which we're so excited about. No, freaking out. Freaking out, thus making us the industry's leading podcast network for redheads. Yeah, which I feel like people should talk about more. I think they should talk about, I think, you know what else people should talk about more

is the fact that you are a natural redhead. Oh yeah, I am. I, well, you know know what i'm so ferociously passionate about my spray tans that i think that throws people off the scent right and and so they're always like you're not like that's not your natural color they're right i'm like i've never dyed my hair ever that's so true because you know i would have assumed like maybe even before i met you like is she a real redhead i would have said no yeah um what is your natural skin tone like what's the color of your butt cheek like um i bet my armpit looks like that tan always comes on oh my god you're super like um porcelain yeah no it's like pale pale pale oh that's so interesting you're never like but you're never oh wow but my dad is like a quarter native american and like

looks like a mahogany dresser right and so tan you're not um you didn't get any of that gorgeous i just don't i didn't get the tan i tan a little bit easier than most redheads although i try to say out of the sun because like skin cancer but i don't freckle as much as most redheads you have a shit ton of freckles like i don't hate to bring it to you i do but like you know some redheads are they're bigger they're bigger you have tiny little cute little frail ones yeah i don't know. I'm probably just making all this up. I'm so honored that you could join me.

I know you're so busy because it's Fashion Week, and you're literally, like, the most fashionable girl I know. I mean, look at my outfit today. I usually show up in dirty underwear and leggings. But I really pulled out all the stops for you because the last time you were here, I wore leggings and a hoodie, and you wore, like, your prom dress, and it wasn't right. I did do that, and I should have told you. um you should have I should have told you I I was just

telling Claudia I was like I don't think I'm like participating in fashion week as much as I'm just like in New York during fashion week which is also like fun and fun but yeah um I just like wearing pretty clothes I just really do and you wear them so well like if I wore the clothes like you wore them like I would wear stunning things too you know oh well if I could be so bold I might unbutton this in in a second take your time this is a totally free space safe space safe space that we're in the trust tree they're just they're so tight yeah so eventually I think I might just so the last time you were here things were different because now you have a man oh yeah yeah and I just want to know like what what's it like like he's an international man so like you really, you really can't spend, like, every day with him.

Which has its benefits, but also, obviously, it's... Yeah, it's, you know what? I think I do long distance well. I've never done it before. But, like, it's not that that bothers me as much because he's so busy, I'm so busy. He lives in London. But it's the fucking time difference that bugs me. Like, so much happens.

So, like, he goes to sleep at like 10 30 11 right and like that is around three o'clock here oh so you're done for the day at three o'clock well it's just like so much happens from the hours of like four to ten for me like all the best like i'm having a glass of wine i'm unwinding i'm relaxing like i'm in a better mood like my work's done like yeah so much happens and he's just like asleep oh you know what that fucking sucks yeah and so that is like my only qualm yeah that's a pretty big one i'm not gonna lie i mean it makes me sad the time difference makes me sad sometimes i just want to like text him and he's like you know in REM sleep no all right he's hit the REM cycle yeah um but he's

coming here right to visit you for the first time yes so i've gone to uh london twice uh i went on a family vacation with his family so it's like legit like are you do you have a label like he's your boyfriend yeah he's like okay yeah he asked me to be his boyfriend he asked you to be his boyfriend his girlfriend uh the second time i went to london yeah after i met his parents and stuff but uh yeah so i've gone to europe three times this year and then he's coming here, um, in like a week and a half. He's going to, we're going to do New York and then I split time in Nashville. So we'll do a little bit in Nashville and then we're, I'm taking them to the deep South.

Maybe he's going to meet your parents. He's going to meet my parents in South Carolina. Yeah. So we're going to do like a little bit in Charleston, a little bit, um, in Lake Murray where I'm from in South Carolina. So how many boyfriends have you brought home to your parents? I'm a relationship girly pop. I just am.

I was in these streets for a while, but I would never introduce my parents to someone who wasn't my boyfriend. We've had the discussion, you're my boyfriend. So I guess every true boyfriend, which I've had maybe five in my life, have met my parents. That's nice.

That's appropriate. Yeah, but I would never just introduce them to someone that i was like fucking no of course not especially like taking the trip to south carolina it's long journey sick um so what do you plan for him in new york so here's the thing and like i'm gonna need maybe like new york toasters slash claudia because i keep annoying her to help me out with this because like i don't i i think he thinks i'm more of a new yorker than i am right like i I'm, I moved here in January and I split time not well. Like I'm always like doing a million things. You're never here.

I feel like I'm never fucking here. So like he's like, well, I can't wait to see what we do. And I'm like, I can't wait to figure it the fuck out. Like, I don't know. During the day is what I'm struggling with. Like dinners at night are easy to plan. Drinks. During the day, I don't want to be like,

so. Yeah, like are you going to go to Empire State Building? Like. No, so like when I went to London, he was like,

so do you like want to see Big Ben? And I was like, no. Yeah, right, right. It's a clock.

So like I, we drove by it. Like he was like pointed to Buckingham Palace and I was like, cool. Oh, that's cool.

I don't need to take a tour. No, no, you're not going to see the Queen. No, no, no. So I was just like, well well we're not anymore yeah but like

when you wear it rip um so uh yeah i um i'm not gonna like take him to that stuff i'm not gonna take him on a ferry to go see the statue of liberty um but i do think i want to take him on like maybe do a picnic in central park just sounds cute cute shopping obviously yeah like shopping would be fun. Little lunches. Maybe if there's like a concert, that's like a fun thing. Oh, taking him to a hockey game. Perfect.

Because they don't do ice hockey in Europe. So I like fucking spend a mortgage on glass seats to try to impress people. Oh, good for you. I'm always doing the most, trying to impress people. It's really a burden. No. Hello. Have we met like same same so uh me getting uh front row seats to your show literally Shannon's like I'm gonna come to the show I'm like great just let me know how many tickets you need then she sends me a screenshot she bought first her tickets loved it felt so

important and the other people you invited were like why did she put you in the front row yeah I mean the thing is like when people at like who I'm like my friends and family they're like can we get tickets I'm like yeah the thing is I like, when people at, like, who, I'm like, my friends and family, they're like, can we get tickets? I'm like, yeah. The thing is, I never know where their seats are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a venue thing.

It's like venue comms. Obviously. So when everyone saw Shannon in the front row and, like, literally, like, my family. And I brought Tayshia. Yeah.

My family's, like, in the 11th row. They're like, this is fucking bullshit. What the fuck? She paid for them. I did. But, okay, so, yeah,

so we're doing that and that'll be fun. But I don't know if there's something that you can think of randomly or anyone listening can think of that they're like, Yeah, send ideas. It's really hard to plan things that, like, aren're doing that and that'll be fun. But I don't know if there's something that you can think of randomly or anyone listening can think of that they're like. Yeah, send ideas.

It's really hard to plan things that aren't touristy and cliche. Well, even in Nashville, and I've lived in Nashville for eight years, I'm like, oh, what do we fucking do again? Because once you live somewhere, you get in your routine, you get in your habits. You're not like every day in Nashville. Are you going honky-tonking? I have definitely taken a nap honky-tonking.

Oh my God. Like the way I've never been happier than I am when I go Honky Tonking. It is euphoric. It's euphoric. Some of like the happiest moments of my life are like at Legends and like dueling pianos. Everyone is just boot scooting boogieing. Everyone, no one feels silly. No.

Everyone just like loving life. On the same page. Yeah. And here's the thing. Here's like my biggest issue with James. Like our relationship is really, really wonderful right now. just like on the same page yeah and here's the thing here's like my biggest issue with James like like our relationship is really really wonderful right now but something that I could see just like absolutely tearing it apart is his um taste in music I knew you were gonna say that he doesn't

fuck with country he doesn't fuck with country but what's worse which I can deal with that right like it's fine like not everyone's a country not everyone's a country person however not everyone's a country bumpkin um i call myself a country mouse but you are like i can't get behind someone that's obsessed with house music i don't know if it's like a europe thing it's a europe thing it's so it's the worst music you could ever listen to in your whole life it's like if it's like and like the fact that he doesn't think it's the same thing over and over again. And the fact that there's no lyrics, no lyrics.

You're speaking my language. I just don't get it. And he keeps like really, truly being like, Oh baby, you'll see, you listen to this one. Then you'll,

it'll make you falling up with house music. I'm like, I'm like, okay. And then I was like, I'm honest with them. I'm like, it's not good.

You are literally reading my mind. It's not good. I, there's a special place in hell for people who like love music with no lyrics just not a vibe and you're right i guess that compared to did like disliking country music like you can teach someone to like country music but it's definitely a european thing it's bad when i went to ibiza i uh what ibiza is that when i went there i was like bored at the clubs because like I was just like losing

interest because I just like don't want to like just. You need to latch on to a lyric. Yeah. I just can't. Not a vibe. That's really tough. Yeah. That might be the end.

No, I'm telling you. No, it could be. If you're listening to this, I'm so supportive. You probably will listen to this. Sorry, your music sucks, babe. When you like do a podcast or something, like do you send it to to him like i was talking about you on this podcast minute 35 um well the podcast i just launched yesterday with the morning test um i that one was like about my trip to portugal and like my trips with him so he definitely listened to that one but like okay so when we

first met there was a lot like i said i was in these streets so when we first met i remember he was like i want to listen to your podcast i was like no because it was like a story about like this guy that i met this like dutch guy i met in a bar in new york right oh you were there that night oh of course your stories from the next morning yes we're oh we went to acme right it was at acme like who meets a guy at acme i don't know that was that was a feat in itself yeah because it's a like black hole it's a dark dark place but it's literally dark it's literally dark like good luck finding the door um but yeah no this guy like uh you know stayed the night over at my apartment and like wouldn't leave and it was like really

hilarious and it was like a funny story to just talk about like this one night stand and james was like i've listened to your podcast and i was i was actually on a flight and so i didn't get it the text message until i landed and i got got it. That was like, I'm listening to, it was called the bedless Dutchman. Cause he wouldn't leave. Cause he, I, I had a theory that he might've been homeless because he was like living at your apartment all morning, not wanting to leave. And like most guys like don't even spend the night. I know. And I was like, you don't have to stay. And he's like, no, your bed is so comfortable. Your bed's so comfortable. And then like, he literally wouldn't leave the next day. It was like really uncomfortable.

That's literally horrible. But however, I, I, yeah, he, whenever I saw which one he listened to, I was like, oh no. Because like at that time, the podcasts that were out were just like a lot of like, you know, single life, sexcapades and like, you know, very like sex in the city vibes. And now they're just different because I don't know, you like my life is ever evolving, you know? And so, yeah, I was like, like oh you listened to that one and he did he was like yeah might not should have been the one I listened to and I was like can I say you just made me realize because I forgot about that night with the bedless Dutchman um how grateful I am to James because

obviously I'm happy for you whatever now I stay yes okay so like when we were when you were like on your single girl shit like I would never get in the way of that but like I'm happy for you, whatever. Now I stay. Yes, okay. So like when you were like on your single girl shit, like I would never get in the way of that. But like I'm a married bitch and like we just, we can only go so far together. So like when we got to Acme after we had been, oh, we were at Margaret's birthday party. And it was so much fun. There was like no one really for you to like, you know,

meet or flirt with at Margaret's birthday party. So like I had your full attention. And then we get to Acme where there's just like these young hot guys and i'm like obviously shannon's a young hot girl she has to go and prosper but what about me you know what about my feelings and that is something i should have taken into account yeah and like i didn't see you for the rest of the night like because you were like doing things that you should be doing but like it's still hurt no and now like you have to behave just like i do and we can behave together i mean it's so much fun the last time we went out the most fun is that we don't behave together and we just go wild and crazy and we love it but like

what's great is I do just want to just like scream sing lyrics to every song until um Acme physically removes us from the building right so like when James comes like I don't think he's gonna like Acme because they play songs that we know all the words to and he's gonna be like where the beats bruv where the beats I'm forcing him yeah he told me what a bruv is he's like not a bruv a bruv is what is a bruv like culturally um like someone who's just like uh i'm trying to explain like what we would call it we what like it's someone that's like yeah like in america they'd be like sup bro like yeah dude like it was so cool smashing this girl yeah like a fuck boy got it okay yeah and like a brav a brav is someone that's like um yeah sick brav does he call it the tele like the telephone telephone television oh uh i think i have heard him say that before because while we are two english-speaking countries there

are vast cultural differences when i have him on my podcast i am going to make a look he he said he did not realize how many things there were so like i'm not like a like sorry if you guys are upset with me for this but i'm not a love island girly pop so i feel like that really um that really opened and broadened america's horizon to how many different words they have like snogging and like all that stuff crikey yeah like all that shit right like blimey like his friend actually says blimey blimey like blimey i'm like what i mean it literally sounds like a fucking like made up yeah but um yeah i'll say he'll say stuff like in passing i'll be like what does that mean he's like oh um and sometimes he doesn't know

how to explain it because everyone just knows what it means and sometimes he'll use what he had uh oh this this word bosh for us it means like boom like mic drop and he's like bosh and so I asked him to explain what it meant and he used another English word to explain what it meant that I didn't know oh well that's helpful James James you have got to like break this down honestly I just feel like if I were to like immerse myself in British culture I'd be immersing myself in Moira Rose culture you know oh yeah but there's a stark difference because the accent I use for him him and his family laugh really hard because they're like that's not what we sound like because the accent I use I'm like oh darling like how are you from over here that's like the queen yeah and he's like he's like no one talks like that that isn't like the most posh like posh posh posh like overly he's

like obnoxiously posh but they're like oh binky oh darling like he's like we don't talk like that and I'm like okay that's fair well you want to hear the craziest thing yeah i've never been to london oh you haven't no it's a lot like new york i think i know so it's like a place i really want to go and me and margo were actually um and now i'm like gonna invite you because it's gonna be way more fun um me and margo were talking about how you know luke holmes is doing a world tour and he is doing a show in london next year he is and i think that we should go like have a girls week in London. We could podcast from London.

They have podcast studios in London, right? Oh yeah. James can help us. I think they're like nicer than theirs. No, for sure. And like, I think we should go. We should. I'm so, so, so down.

Okay. And then we'll make James go and like we'll make him a country music girly. We're going to make him one. We're going to make him one. We're going to make him one. So Shannon is here to talk about her boyfriend, but she's also here to do the show with me. It's Wednesday, which means, of course, we have the Fast Five stories, you know, some mindless news about what's going on in social media and the celebrity world.

Love. And now I'm just like doing the show, like imagining like James watching. Like, what is James going to think of me? What are you thinking, baby? I just want to button my pants. He's like, blimey. Blimey, Shannon. Put your knickers on.

Yeah, they call them trousers. Oh, what do they cally. Blimey, Shannon, put your knickers on. Yeah, they call them trousers. Oh, what do they call undies? Knickers, right? Oh, knickers. I've never heard him say knickers. Yeah, I think that's like an old school thing. Yeah, yeah, that's like, don't get your knickers in a twist.

Don't get your knickers in a twist. Every time I do like an English accent, like it turns Russian. And then we also have dear toasters and I feel like Shannon probably gives really good advice. I actually do. So let's dive in to the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

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Promo code toast. Okay. I changed my sheets last night. Were you sweating? It's just like a hog. Yeah, it's really rough. Like just, oh, and you know what I decided to do, which I posted this on my Instagram story.

Like I can not really disclose how often I change my duvet because I'm not willing for the backlash right right but um I decided that enough was enough like it was time it was time to wash my duvet cover and that is something that I'm willing to admit that I just really think I should hire someone to do next time right so I used to um like wash my own sheets and it was really a toss up it could be once a month or once a year. Like it was beyond sheets. Yeah. All of it.

Like the whole thing, not even just the duvet, the whole thing. I wash my sheets pretty often. No. Oh, but I spray tan really often. So that,

and I'm a sweaty. When I was like in charge of my own life, um, that's what I used to do. And then about three years ago, I was like, you know what? Housekeeper.

Enough's enough. Yeah. And now I go once a week. I can't, I can't justify having a housekeeper my tiny little apartment in new york but my house in nashville i feel lucky enough that i can like that's actually like a really fair statement yeah but mine's lovely i've never been come i heard your bed is really comfortable from the bedless dutchman the bed is very comfortable

oh i just realized who i'm wearing cowboy boots uh you're also wearing louboutins like always one upping me on my show like my shoes are from revolve i want to kill you fun fact dolly parton has these exact ones tumble out of bed and i stumble to the kitchen we really should go to like a dolly show i would like please no yesterday like we were texting a lot i was like let me plan something fun for me and shannon so we all are all plans i was like looking online for country concerts in New York, but like there really aren't any. None?

Even this week? No, not this week. That's what I was looking for. I know. Except this week I'm kind of busy because I'm going to Portland and Seattle this weekend. Tickets available at

girlwithnojob.com slash tour. My one and only leg in the Pacific Northwest. I can't wait to see you there. All right. First story of the day is that Leonardo DiCaprio and Gigi Hadid are dating.

They're moving to the next level, but still taking it slow according to page six. So Gigi Hadid are dating they're moving to the next level but still taking it slow according to page six so Gigi and Leo have moved their romance into a more intimate phase but sources close to the pair say they are quote taking it slow sources have been telling us for months that the model 27 and the superstar actor 47 have been getting close while hanging in the same group of friends but now we hear that they've started going out on dates just as a twosome they've quote mostly been hanging out in groups and a solo of handful of a solo and solo a handful of times the source says that DiCaprio is not someone who is in and out of relationships he doesn't jump around hooking up but they are taking it slow so these

were like rumored everyone heard it on on juma and now it's like pretty much confirmed like i think last night they both went to the same fashion week event not together but they were both photographed leaving and coming in i just like i was just telling you i'm still finding myself laughing i get over stuff really quick like i'm like enough like i remember the will smith slap i think we talked yeah we did talk about it and i was just like i'm not laughing at it anymore it's the jokes are done right i'm over i every single time i see a new joke surface a new meme service about him only getting 25 like people under 25 like they still make me giggle so this is good that she's 27 by the way i completely agree like when the internet becomes obsessed with one thing it gets like annoying and

it's not funny anymore and it's like fatigued yeah um this i find so crazy i don't know why i thought gg hadid was so much older than 27. Perhaps it's because she has a kid. Oh, yeah. And she's accomplished a lot. And we've known her for like, she got famous on Housewives when she was like 18. True. So you would think she was older. Yeah.

Yeah. But I actually, I actually always think that the Kardashian, the Jenners. Are younger or older. Yeah. No, they're in their 40s. No, no, no, no. Oh, Kylie and Kendall. Yeah.

Kendall is what? Like 26? But to be fair, I think the Kardashians I always think the Kardashians are gonna do I always forget Kim's almost 40 or is 40 is 40 Kourtney is in her 30 in her 40s and I think Khloe's about to turn yeah it's I don't know I always they don't you're right the Hadid seem like older and like there's a weird thing with celebrities like when you find out that two celebrities are the same age like I think I read somewhere once that like Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age no which just is really shocking and I think that Cardi B is also the same age as them as well I saw that Taylor Swift and Cardi B are the same age and I was like laughing let me just google that it's just a funny

one because your brain immediately compares the two people not their ages and you're like how could that be yeah Adele is 34 Adele is 34 and Taylor Swift is 32 and Taylor Swift is 32. And Cardi B is 29. Oh, Cardi B's young. Well, Cardi B's younger than Taylor Swift and Adele. That maybe is what's funny. Yeah, no, it's just like, I guess with celebrities, maybe you remember them like as like the person they were when they were like peak fame.

I don't know what it is. Maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's just weird. It is weird. I'm happy that obviously Leo's dating someone who's over 25 but she's 27 so it's like really not that big of a difference but you were saying she's a mom so that's like a shift that's an like an upgrade for him yeah i kind of feel like i know leonardo dicaprio is obviously like the biggest superstar movie handsome whatever yeah i kind Yeah. But I kind of feel like,

he's like kind of getting like run down. Like, I think he looks real hard and hung up wet. Yeah. Like, I, I just, I'm not like,

of course he's still good looking. And of course he was a heart motherfucking throw up. Right. But like, I'm just like not, I think that the allure is there because he's fucking Leonardo DiCaprio, obviously. But like, I know.

And it used to be that like he was dating these like not famous girls who were so beautiful but it like made sense because he was like kind of dating beneath his A-list star

but they were so much younger so it leveled out like well they're more attractive because they're younger and now it's like I don't really feel like that's going to be able

to apply much longer because he's like like not to be so mean but like he's getting ugly like he's not but you know who's also like just straight up aging which we should not talk like so no but you're like this is how people talk about women aging so you know what yeah leo's getting ugly leo is getting uglier and here's

the thing i also think brad pitt is but like oh i don't one would be like you don't he looks so greasy and his hair is getting wispy maybe it's because like i have like actual love in my heart for him like you know when you love, you think they're beautiful always. Yeah. Like you love your child, but like you don't realize like your baby's ugly, you know? I'm totally kidding. I mean, that's a thing for sure. I really, I feel that way about Matthew McConaughey, but he's aging well.

Yeah. No, by the way, that's just like straight facts. But that's just also like a country man. It's so true. And so country men have grit and that's why they just like a country man. It's so true. And so country men have grit. And that's why they look sexy longer and older. That's so true. Brad Pitt, you're just giving greasy Hollywood old to me.

And I don't like it. Yeah, I mean, I guess like, you know, if I took out like from a total unbiased third party perspective, like Brad Pitt like is looking worse for the wear. Yeah. But I still think he's like extremely handsome. He is. Like and so cute. But not Leo.

No. I'm just like I'm getting over him. Yeah. Leo sometimes looks like he is jaundiced. I just feel like it hasn't been the same between me and Leo ever since he saw me in a bathing suit. You know what I mean? I took a boat trip with Leo once. Where?

In Mexico. I can't tell if you're being. I'm being dead serious. You obviously didn't read my book because it was in there. Damn it. Yeah. Yeah. And honestly, my book because it was in there. Damn it. Yeah. Yeah. And honestly, it just like it changed things between us.

Yeah. And then like we jumped off the boat and they were like, let's swim to the beach. And like, you know, depth perception is off when you're on a boat. Like you think the coast is like the beach is right there. Yes. But it wasn't. And so like we were all kind of like dying. But like me specifically, because likeo and like everyone there was like really

in shape um swimming's hard no it was horrible it's the only exercise that works every muscle in your body and one of the like staff members from the boat like got on a paddleboard and came don't tell me anymore i want to read the book he came and picked me up and left me on the beach like and i literally was parked there like a beached whale and like once we got to the beach i was like great can we go back but they're like you guys want to like hike around I'm like what no so I just like pretty much sat there while everyone like hiked and that's really kind of where like my relationships like ended with him that what's about like the worst part about me is I am such a follower sometimes that like I would have been like y'all you know I would have just been like like I would have looked

dumber no by the way so would I for anything like except for hiking like if he had said like let's do ashwagandha I would have been like okay I mean I'll probably die but like Leo said so so yeah I'm a follower loser too but like my body is limited in some ways I would have just looked haggard walking up the hill and I'm like you know we were like getting out of the ocean like sopping wet like I looked like a raisin like it was just not I've been there where I thought the the swim was closer than it was and it's just it never is it never is it never is and the thing about me is like I actually love to swim like I'm a I'm kind of like a I'm not a water sign but like I'm I'm a swimmer I like to frolic in the water a lot I grew up on a lake so I just like really enjoy being in the water but I just like existing in the water I'm my sister was always the bitch

that was like tanning no she'd be like let's race to the buoy and I was like no I just want to like jump off the boat and swim yeah no I might have like I might have been like a race to the buoy girl too um but like when you go on vacation like are you the girl who like doesn't like get her hair wet no no no um everyone would assume that about me and everyone is always shocked that I'm like the first one to jump in the first one to like get underwater I just yeah can we go on vacation together yes okay because like I was gonna ask you if I could come to Turks and Caicos when you guys were oh my god I wish you had asked I was gonna be like if I got a flight is there like room for me to sleep yes oh my god I wish you had asked

I could kill you to myself you just can't ask people that kind of why not what literally why not but I just thought that you guys are just like jumping in the water that's just how i like to enjoy vacation and i actually almost all my friends um obviously if i go on like a revolve trip usually the girly pops aren't like popping in the water immediately but like for me personally i i took a picture and then i got the fuck in the water yeah no i'm the thing about me like i'm gonna get in the water i love to swim jump off stuff I wanna Me too I really like doing that I'm planning a trip

Okay Like ASAP I'll come to Portland Do they have water there? Um I don't know And I don't wanna wait To start a trip on Portland

I can't talk today Like I wanna go to Like the Caribbean with you Okay Eek Okay Um next up Is some Britney Spears controversy

Cause apparently She was on instagram every day yesterday calling everybody fat britney spears responded to backlash after seemingly body shaming christina aguilera and her backup dancers basically she posted an instagram like graphic that said you know i've always you know the best way to look skinny is by standing next to someone fat and then in the um caption she was like yeah like if I ever stood next to Christina Aguilera's backup dancers, I would have looked, like it was so weird.

And then she issued an apology. She said, by no means was I being critical of Christina's beautiful body. It is what it is. It is what it is. Yeah, no, it's like not an apology.

I flew to see her show once, and the main thing I noticed was the difference of our people on stage. By no means did I even mention Christina. Look at my post. I was inspired by her show, and she's a beautiful woman of power. Thank you at Xtina for inspiring me. She went on to clarify that she didn't mean to be critical of anybody. Rather she saw her original post as a projection of the insecurities I deal with all the time as a result of how my parents and the media have treated me. And I just want to say like this is something I noticed when Brittany

was free and then she was very active on social media. She posted some Jeffree Star cosmetics and people were commenting. So she deleted it and apologized for supporting Jeffree Star. And I just really need people to stop expecting Britney Spears to be completely caught up on all things woke and political correctness. Because are you seeing what's going on? She's free, but she's not like 100 well yet her mind is still in a cage right who knows what she was allowed to access i mean i i didn't do as deep of a deep dive on the free britney stuff as some people did so you might

know who knows what she was able to look at like we have been growing with the times evolving right because we have a phone in front of our face with news right people saying what you shouldn't shouldn't say anymore. We're growing and learning as a society. Who knows if she was able to do that? She was on fucking lithium. Like, leave her alone. Like, her brain is definitely not fully bounced back

to, like, what it was before she was put on drugs. And, like, the way that, like, we're now canceling Britney, like, don't get me wrong. What she said, like, that was not great. If anyone else said it, I'd be saying something different. But, like, can we stop having like normal expectations for britney because she's not this isn't a normal situation i just you said it before too you were like you can't expect someone that's just not well to act well that that in itself is us being highly critical

of someone that like we can't it's not the same situation as us no it's so people are like this whole like call-out culture like they've gotten a little ahead of themselves like Britney Spears is not fair game yet I agree I agree I let her live when you were reading that I was like appalled but like you said I'm like but it's it's Britney Spears like she's she gets a pass she's not well she's not well and I'm sorry she gets a pass yes like I'm not you're not gonna find me caring like normally when people are saying fat phobic things like yeah i'm out here being like a a spokesperson for my people this time i'm not coming for britney like she's been through enough like she doesn't need to get dragged on twitter now okay yeah like let the woman live speaking of women who are just living

jennifer lawrence is breaking down this season of real housewives of beverly hills including quote evil erica jane i fucking love this so we all know jennifer lawrence is a famous housewives Lawrence is breaking down this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, including, quote, evil Erica Jane. I fucking love this. So we all know Jennifer Lawrence is a famous Housewives franchise superfan, and the actor has proclaimed her love for the Bravo series several times and even appeared on Watched Happens Live with Andy Cohen. Well, she was at the Toronto International Film Festival for her film Causeway. She was chatting with Variety about her take on this most recent season

of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and particularly the housewife, Erika Jayne. As we all know, Jayne has been the center of several controversies, including her husband, Tom Girardi, allegedly embezzling millions of dollars from victims of horrific accidents, yada, yada, yada. We all know. So here's what J-Law's take on the season is. My biggest problem with this season is that it's just been boring. And I think that Erika is evil.

I would go as far as to say she needs a publicist ASAP. She also suggested that Erika Jayne's fellow cast members had a duty to help the Chicago star realize how badly she is coming across. It was like comparing the situation to the famous episode of Real Housewives of New York in which the cast allowed tipsy Dorinda Medley to film for hours with lipstick smeared across her face.

That's actually a really good comparison. I didn't remember that. I do feel like the women of Beverly Hills are like doing their best to protect Erica, but she's just so fucking crazy and radioactive. Like there's only so much you can help someone. That is true. And I like was just thinking to myself, if any celebrity, like massive superstar, like said something horrible about me, I would just be devastated.

But like, let alone one that's just like so lovable and like real and real and hilarious. Like when she comes for you, like J-Law, like she like is so intelligent with her humor, much like Jackie O. And it's like, it almost cuts deeper because it's mean and funny. And you're like, fuck. And like, if she called me evil, I would just be so upset. upset no and the thing is with being a Bravo celebrity the cool thing is that there are so many mainstream A-list celebrities Chrissy Teigen Rihanna so cool are vocal about their love of the shows they'll even call people out sometimes yeah but they'll never call out negatively they'll always be like I love Tom

Schwartz that's what Rihanna posted right and even if Rihanna was like hating Ariana Maddox she never says it because it's like what's the point it's like mean it's like she's like I'm too famous for that it's an imbalance of power yes but this is like the first time that a celebrity like a mega a-lister has like said something negative about a franchise and about a castmate I just remembered because you just said that when Rihanna was like obsessed with that trumpet whatever that scene of tom tom brushing his teeth i thought it was he was brushing his teeth he was doing something it was like a mash-up and she was like whoever the editors are of this show like i literally want to kiss you on

the mouth this is the funniest shit ever and i was like that must have been so cool for tom schwartz so cool and so like there are a few moments like that but there's never been a moment like this where you're getting dragged you know erica jane though just like I don't give a fuck who are you J-Law I was you were in diapers whenever I was doing she's gonna like name something she was doing like I don't know blowing someone famous while when J-Law was still in diapers that's so true because she's like kind of off the deep end now like I don't think she can be saved no which is so sad I did not not expect Erica Jane to go from being like one of my favorite and just like the franchise favorites you did was she good yeah she's like talented she was beautiful she was in vogue like she had so much going for and obviously a scandal can take you down but i think she could

have recovered if she handled it like even one iota better than she handled it i would go as far as to say she needs a publicist asap asap she needs a publicist jennifer lawrence was being so funny because she was looking for the right word. She's like, and I just think Erica's like, and really the only word to describe how she's acting

is like evil. Yeah. Because she's been so heartless to her castmates, to the victims of her husband. Yes. That's really the perfect word and when she said it,

I was like, yeah. Pop off queen, I agree. Pop off queen, I agree. I have two more stories for you, Shanon. Okay. I mean, might I just say you're absolutely killing it um and the two remaining stories are brought to you by figs everyone has something that they look forward to in the fall and if you're in health care

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Some kind of crazy, emotional, amazing news. Ryan Reynolds. I'm literally having a stroke today. Ryan Reynolds undergoes a life-saving colonoscopy, and it all caught on video aren't all colonoscopies videoed such a good point um are they sticking a camera in your colon and I'm super super happy that it was like a positive test but like I just feel like this is one of those situations where like celebrities are getting too comfortable with like Ryan Reynolds is like universally beloved not not by me, but by most people. He's corny, but yeah.

Yeah, I find him like annoying and I feel like he's like a monster to be married to. But like for the most part, everyone loves him. Like every time he like farts, he's like, oh my God, you have to check out this fart. It's amazing. So now he's getting like a little too comfortable with that level of praise

because I just don't really feel like we need to know about like your colonoscopy and like the video. It's like a lot. Some things can be private. A video that he shared of like the video of his colon or was it him laying down getting a colonoscopy? So he had a subtle polyp on his colon during his first colonoscopy, which he was broadcasting in order to destigmatize the procedure.

That I understand. Cool. The Deadpool actor and his Wrexham Soccer Club co-chairman. Oh my God. Rob. Okay. I didn't read the story, so now I feel like I was being mean. Okay, sorry.

I'm taking everything back already. Oh no. So the Deadpool actor and his co-star, Rob Michelinie, decided to partner up with Lead From Behind, a colon cancer, oh my God, I feel like such a bitch. In my defense, Jackie picks the stories,

and right before we started, I realized I was supposed to pick the stories today, so I picked them without reading, and that was not cool, and I take started, I realized, like, I was supposed to pick the stories today. So I picked them without reading. And that was not cool. And I take back everything I said. Wait, now I'm dying to know. I do still find Ryan Reynolds annoying. But this is nice.

He partnered up with Lead from Behind, a colon cancer awareness organization, to encourage people, especially men, to get the procedure when the time comes. In a YouTube video uploaded to Reynolds' page on Tuesday, him and his co-star explained that they wanted to prove how the simple step can save lives. He said, I would never normally have any medical procedure put on a camera and

then shared. Okay, I'm like such a bitch. I'm so sorry. Listen, this is really nice. This is nice. And look at me, like

I'm out here continuing the stigma that they are trying to destigmatize. I'm the problem. I'm sorry. I take it back. I didn't mean to

offend. That's really nice. That is, yeah, it's good. I was curious though. I'm sorry. I take it back. I didn't mean to offend. That's really nice. That is. Yeah, it's, it's good. I was curious though. I mean, if you just read the headline, this is the problem with clickbait. Sometimes it's just confusing and not everyone's going to read the whole story. What Ryan Reynolds said was that it's not every day that you can raise awareness about something that will definitely save lives. That's something motivation for me to let you in on a camera that's being shoved up my ass. So I'm like a cunt and I'm really sorry. Do you remember when the, not Housewives franchise, but Desperate Housewives, the television show?

Oh my God. You don't even have to make the discrepancy. Like I am a Desperate Housewives historian. So am I. Who do you identify with as? Well, it's easy to say brie with the red hair that's what i was gonna say but i don't identify with her yeah um you're very gabby i i really was gonna say gabby i just like didn't want to seem like a twat no no gabby evolves a lot in this

in this show yes like she gets severely humble um no i i would like to say that like i'm someone that has body dysmorphia i think she's hotter than she is and is humbled often. And you are that hot. Like that's a thing. But I just like I really I relate to her. I think Susan is so fucking stupid. I could literally write a 30 page dissertation on how I think Susan is a dumb fucking bitch. She's so dumb.

And that's the thing with certain shows. Jackie and I talk about this a lot is like you watch them and them. And then maybe you re-watch them when you get older. And I have recently re-watched Desperate Housewives. I did too. I watched it when it was coming on every week. Me too. With my mom. Which she should not have let me watch it.

No, by the way. It was so inappropriate. But we literally all used to get in Olivia's bed and watch. Same. On Sunday nights. Same. And then Brothers and Sisters is on afterwards. I didn't watch that.

Me neither. But watched Desperate Housewives. And decided to re-watch it a couple years ago as an adult. And I was like, oh my. I re-fell in love with it. I re-assisted it. Calling my mom. My to re-watch it a couple years ago as an adult and i was like oh my i felt i really fell in love with it call my mom my mom watched re-watched it with me i just loved it but brie then miss vandekamp i'm pretty sure i could i don't think i'm getting this wrong she had cancer yes she had um anal cancer yes and i like really respected marcia cross is her name yeah marcia cross she came out and she said like, um, what I'm not going to like, I'm going to be embarrassed that the cancer that I have decided to choose my anus.

Like, no, like I forget the quote she used. It was way more dignified. It was very like rebranding. Yeah. And it was like very like, like I was like, damn, you're right. Like I could, I God hope I don't. But like if I've asked cancer, I want just as much sympathy for ass cancer. No, she would.

I remember that too. Um, she was super brave and open about it and you're a hundred percent right. And like, no, I'm just like feeling worse for ass cancer. No, I remember that too. She was super brave and open about it. And you're 100% right. And like, now I'm just like feeling worse and worse about what I said at the beginning of the show. No, it was clickbait. You don't need to know. Also, just back to Desperate Housewives. So I feel like when we watch a show, like Susan was kind of like the main character.

Like even though all four of them were, like she was really the star. Totally. And she fucking sucked. And like I liked her when I was watching the show originally. And then when I rewatched it, I was like was like oh my god she's literally the fucking worst that also i had the same experience with carrie bradshaw like she's the worst okay um and i want to say justice for lynette i think i'm a lynette lynette oh my god and she just like what a tortured soul what she's so much she had such a hard life i know remember like at the end when like tom like

leaves her yes that was tough I've chilled no literally I okay I will never forget I was on a flight and like when I was re-watching Desperate Housewives I was talking about it on the toast and like a lot of the toasters then started to watch it along with me so good and when I got to the part where Tom um like does I don't know if he has an affair yeah he has an affair and then he moves in with her yeah um and like leaves Lynette um somebody started a thread in one of our Facebook groups just like talking about Tom Scavo. And literally like it was the funniest thing ever because he was like the hottest husband. Oh yeah.

He was because he was with the kids. Yeah. And like everyone loved him. But like as a husband he was a moron. Remember like he opened that pizzeria. Like he was always making bad business decisions. So stupid. He wouldn't let Lynette go back to work.

Like he was the fucking worst. Misogynist. Misogynist. But then right after my renaissance with desperate housewives i had like the craziest sexiest dream about carlos oh okay well i feel like they were always giving dreams about they were always like in the in the show making dreams about carlos yeah and now like the dream just kind of like changed the way i saw carlos and like now i'm obsessed with him i always i always thought carlos was hot yeah because there's something about like a man that just like like goes to jail for like fucking someone up like

i don't know like that's kind of hot 100 and then um why can i i was the whole time i've been trying to think of her name what the fuck not not phoebe uh which character dies in the fire ed that bitch shit was always crazy oh and you know why we're always talking about during a lot of this do you know why we're always talking about desperate housewives on the toast why um because there's an actor do you remember the guy who played dave he had like platinum white hair piercing blue eyes so scary he was like a random character and i think he was like a killer yeah he also said he definitely married edie in real life no no no oh yeah okay okay yeah he is like an actor who um refused he will not kiss another actress as a part of his job he won't like do intimacy intimacy scenes he will not kiss an actor and

like is he mormon i don't know what his reasons are i think it's just because he loves his wife um which is sweet but like really fucking stupid um and we're always talking about him that's interesting you know what though he gives off the vibe that he would be like no like he has all these like rules and like lists and things like he freaks me the fuck out personally i don't like him hey i yeah i agree i don't like him the show is perfection and did you ever watch um so good the guy who created it is named mark cherry and he just started another show how women it's something about murder can you look it up it was like olivia's like women who kill something like that mark cherry like women kill why women kill

it really is nothing like um desperate housewives but it's incredibly good the first season is so good the second season was like fine the first season was really good okay he's like obvious he's just like a genius he has like a magical touch. Yes. We need to bring back Desperate Housewives. God, I'll rewatch it. Like, it is so good.

This is making me want to rewatch it. It is so good. For our fifth and final story, we have some parenting news from Kourtney Kardashian because she reveals the response

to her son Mason asking for McDonald's french fries after going a year without them. Okay. So she's obviously doing a lot of press

for Lemmy. She was doing the Wall Street Journal magazine interview. So she shared an example of a recent incident that took place when she was enjoying one-on-one time with Mason um and she's been so mindful recently about clean eating so he said mom I need McDonald's french fries today please it's been a year since I've had it she was like today's not the day sorry

oh yikes okay wait that's the end of the story yeah that's literally what she's sharing like setting boundaries and like i totally believe in like you know having your kids be clean eating and wanting them to eat healthy i grew up in an extremely healthy household and look at me now so maybe i should have just been able to eat mcdonald's french fries when i wanted to oh my god i grew up like eating the craziest shit in south carolina like bad or good bad see like oh my god and look at us both like you would think no seriously like you would think Shannon grew up in the healthy house and no no no I I look back and like I I this is absolutely no shade towards my mother at all but like I look

back and I'm like I cannot believe that those were like we were just like yoking cosmic brownies as like a breakfast yeah no I was not like I was having like full-blown like scrambled eggs that's so nice I'm sure my my parents made great food all the time but like i yeah i get where courtney's coming from i actually had a friend growing up in middle school in high school who her parents did not let them eat that kind of stuff so in high school she found that kind of stuff gross and i remember thinking like at first she was weird but then being like that's kind of nice because obviously that shit is addicting like yeah but everything is good in moderation like your kid who you love is like please can i have these french fries i haven't had them he's not asking for meth i mean like i really that's what that's the point i was

gonna make i'm just like i just don't see i see if if you grew up not giving the shimps then they grew up like my friend and she just didn't want it sure sure but for you begging but he's like can i have him i haven't had him in a year and his friends are like oh my god i had nuggets last night they were so good he just wants to fit in and i think you know a little toxicity in moderation isn't bad i just think your kid's gonna go buck wild one day when he's 18 and when he can drive or whatever and what do you want your kids start hiding fucking mcdonald's french fries underneath the bed don't worry they won't actually rot because there's so much preservative that's so true and by the way that's literally how kids like develop eating disorders like it is because when when they get to be 18 and they're like allowed to like hoard and binge it's so much preservatives. That's so true. And by the way, that's literally how kids like develop eating disorders. Oh, it is.

Because when they get to be 18 and they're like allowed to like hoard and binge. It's so true. Not that I'm saying that's what's going to happen and obviously I'm not a parent and everyone's parents' decision is right.

But like, my God, the kid is like, please can I just have a French fry? French fries, like of all the things you can eat at McDonald's, like French fries are not the worst. No, no, no.

And they're just, they're just so fucking good. No, like I know we're going to lunch after this and like we have like fancy reservations. Like should we just go to McDonald's?ald's i would i would in our gorgeous outfits should and vlog it and vlog it oh you know should we make a vlog after this because i texted channing

yesterday like every time i see chan and like i want a new purse what purse are you wearing today you have fabulous style um thank you so much it's this little findy girly like i said i love her like i said so we're gonna go shopping and buy matching purses and we should definitely vlog it she sent me that and I go I don't know if you're kidding because like you know your your sense of humor is pretty elevated and sometimes I like wow thank you I don't know if you're like being funny or not but that is something that I personally I'm an adult woman who does still enjoy a matching moment with one of my girls I just really like it and so yeah and like maybe we'll get like maybe different color.

Or like if you find a bag that you love and I find a bag that I love, like we'll buy separate bags, but like from the same store. Like. Yeah. Same brand. Same brand. Me and my best friend Taylor. Oh, the Celine bag. I had a different Celine bag.

She had a Celine bag. Like I just like, I really like to do that. Yeah. So that's what we're going to do today. And I feel really good about the decision. We'll vlog it. And also we're going to get fries. Okay.

Oh, I bought a disposable camera because I'm such a millennial oh my god you've been hanging out with this natural too much oh my gosh she does that too well everyone does it well literally like she we in turks and cacos she was like those pictures were so fucking cute they were so disgusting like literally she sent us she finally got them developed and it was just like seven like fucking ugly beasts i was like margo you cannot that. Like I thought film was supposed to be like really flattering. Yeah, it's not. Well,

mine's black and white. Oh, that's cool. I think so too. We'll see. Okay. We'll take some pics. There's a place in New York that you can get them developed the same day.

Yes. Did Margo tell you about it? No, I text one of my friends. It's actually a photographer. And I was like, I bought this like thing from, she was like,

yeah, yeah. Before we dive into our final segment, which is dear toasters shannon is going to be helping me give you guys advice from today you if you ever want to write in it's dear toasters at gmail.com it is brought to you by pair eyewear your style is constantly evolving especially if you're friends with shannon ford and it's time that your glasses start keeping up with pair eyewear changing up your frames is easier than ever just snap on a new design to

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switch up your look and you could rock the same design all day long change it up every hour there's no wrong way to pair get glasses as ever-changing as you are with pair go to pair eyewear.com slash toast for 15 off your first purchase that's 15 off at p-a-i-r eyewear.com slash toast for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at P-A-I-R eyewear.com slash toast. I have those and they actually come with a really cool case too where your glasses go in the case and then they have this little like flap that holds the little snap-ons. Oh, that is cool. Really nice to never lose them. Look at you.

I know. I like pair. Are you ready to help save some lives? Yes. Okay. First up. Hey guys. Love you.

Well, this was going to Jackie, but I'm sure she would say love you and love the show. I love you, Jackie, too. My husband and I dated all through college, and we got married right after graduation. We've been married for over a year, and it's been going great until recently. I haven't had any sex drive or attractiveness towards him. Everything he does just annoys the fucking shit out of me, and I just want to be left alone when I'm around him, which is horrible because he's a total p-jom, and he does everything for me.

Recently, when going out with friends, I've noticed men talking to me a lot, and I just want to be left alone when I'm around him, which is horrible because he's a total p-jom, and he does everything for me. Recently, when going out with friends, I've noticed men talking to me a lot, and I feel the urge to flirt and talk back because it actually gets me excited rather than when I'm with my husband. I'm just annoyed with him. It leads me to wonder if I got married too young and missed opportunities.

I know this is 100% a me problem, but how do I fix it? Sincerely, a confused toaster who could never break someone's heart. Well, the thing is, I was going to say, a lot of things can be going on in your life like or health-wise or stress that like make your libido go down yeah birth control but if you're going out and like vibing with others i don't think that's the case i agree yeah that's what changed my mind on the advice too um

i do think you owe it to this man to like try and make it work whether that's like go to it like do a kakama sutra class like when you've been with someone for a long time like it's easy to get into a rut and then like you start seeing them more as like a brother than a husband yeah um so you have to like make a conscious effort to like keep it exciting you could literally there are so many avenues you could literally go see a sex therapist you could say like i if this guy really is such a peach like then you can say like i love you so much i want to like make our lives a little bit more exciting i thought maybe we could go see a sex therapist no guy's gonna hear the word sex and not want more of it.

Right. It's like that scene in Sex and the City when Charlotte and Trey like can't really, you know, sync up and she goes to that Kama Sutra woman who shows you how to give the best fellatio of your life. Yeah. No, not fellatio.

Is fellatio blowjob? Yeah, fellatio and then that's cunnilingus. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. And then Miranda accidentally gets jizz in her hair.

Yes. So you have to give it a shot before you can't just like you know throw your hands up because it's a marriage yeah and listen I'm just like I just really so deeply and passionately like I know divorce happens but like I'm not married yet and I just really really really don't want to get divorced I know anyone that gets divorced doesn't want to but I say it's a really big step getting divorced is like a big big deal so two things can exist but your parents are still together right my parents are still together so it's like a very you know like naive take it's like as a child of divorce like yeah whatever people get divorced life goes

on totally totally and i so but what i'm saying is like two things can exist at one time you can be really fucking annoyed at your husband but still love him so like that's so don't don't beat yourself up too much for like just going through something right now like maybe try to dissect and like look inward a little bit. What's going on in your life? What are you taking? Any new, like anything? Medication, yeah.

All that kind of stuff like plays a part. Don't just like give up so easy though. I think. By the way, that's like really good advice. Like two things can be true at once. Like you're not, that's the thing with marriage. It's like not every minute, every night is gonna be whirlwind romance, multiple orgasms.

Like life is hard and like that's what a marriage is. It's more of a partnership than like a whirlwind like romance novels and movies don't prepare us for what marriage really is well and you just gotta like wake up and decide to like fight for it to try yeah to work for it so true so you that's not to say that this might not be working out but you have to give it like a really fair shot oh and the last thing i'll say is it's not fair to him if you don't tell him this stuff because he has no idea. So like he might be doing,

he might like, he might go take a class. What's it called? Kama Sutra or Kama Sutra class. If he knew you were feeling this way, like it's almost a little unfair to him that you're not letting on that anything's wrong. And so he's not doing anything to fix it.

He might want to fix it. Yeah. Like maybe he like is like reading books behind your back. Like maybe he's trying to help, like help him help you. Yeah. All right. Next up. Hello, Jack. Well, hello, him help you. Yeah. All right, next up.

Hello, Shannon and Claudia. Am I being insecure? No, sorry. She said, am I being an insecure wench? I appreciate your candid advice, and I need you to both weigh in. My boyfriend of three and a half years started to masturbate and watch porn literally every morning during work. We work from home.

His office is upstairs, and I've walked in on him at least eight plus times. At first, I felt awkward and said something like, do you need any help? He just laughs it off and says no. When I first talked to him about it, he says it's due to his stressful job that it's a way for him to relieve stress throughout the day. Well, I'm a Google girly, so I took to the internet and sure enough, there's a ton of research about how masturbation is a good for stress relief. I brought it up again yesterday.

Sorry, I brought it up again recently because I'm starting to feel insecure we definitely have not been having sex very often as he seems very disinterested yet he'll masturbate and watch porn is this something every boyfriend does I'm just if I'm just being insecure or am I feeling validated no sorry

if I'm just being insecure or am I valid and feeling compared to these women he's watching online he does not have an Instagram I know he isn't on like on OnlyFans, but I still feel hurt. Any thoughts and insight would be so appreciated. A possible insecure wench.

No, you're doing nothing wrong. Nothing wrong. I have such a take on this. If he's masturbating a lot, like that's fine because it is like a stress relief thing. But if that's taking away from your sex, then there's a problem. And it seems like he might have a porn addiction problem and here's

what i so i actually have such uh like you were just talking about this on your instagram story yes okay so since meeting james james i don't know like what brought this up when we were we just had like really deep conversations really early on and he was i used to be the girl so i i so feel for you at the end of that where you're like am i just being insecure like because i was the girl that wanted to be so cool like like oh no I would tell people like I don't care if my boyfriend watches porn I'll watch with him like no I wouldn't he would be watching it behind my back behind closed doors like I was never doing that with him that would be sexy we weren't doing that right so he was like I just always was like no no it's fine I'm not insecure he can watch I don't

care like I did care obviously it's not weird to care that your boyfriend is enjoying watching other naked women have intercourse like that is obviously not a vibe it's like a boundary if you feel that way some but there are some girls who truly don't care and good for you that is also fun that's what i'm saying i really for a while there and if i found out my boyfriend watched porn i wouldn't like be like oh he's cheating on me yeah some people who take it that far and that's also their right to have that opinion but But James has actually like plug in for a second. He has a whole podcast where he talks about, um, how your dopamine receptors are so affected by porn. And here's the thing you went, took to Google and you saw that masturbating

is a stress reliever. And maybe sometimes he's like, I don't have time to like have sex and give you what you need to actually to masturbate. But I would, I would say that he should close his eyes and, and use his imagination and masturbate because it is a healthy thing to do. I don't think he should be watching other women or like, I don't know, maybe you're going to be like fun and sexy and be like, it makes me a little upset.

That will know, like it makes me a little upset that you're watching other people have sex to get off. If you just need to masturbate really quick, like can we record ours? Like, can you record me giving you, can you record us and can you watch us? But the thing is. Is that I don't think this guy.

He's distorting his reality. No. I think he's also like. Somewhat addicted to the. To the porn. More so than the masturbation. Yes. Porn addiction is like.

Totally a real thing. I fell into like a rabbit hole. On TikTok on it. Yes. A lot of people like. Accidentally. You know. Stumble on porn.

When they're like 12 years old. On the internet. And spend like 10 years watching. Yes. And I feel like. It's so accessible like that's what it kind of sounds like it's so accessible it's so accessible and here's the thing too like he really is watching so much porn that his perception of real life sex is probably why

y'all aren't having as much sex his perception of and i'm like stealing all of this from james podcast because literally that's such a good point it just distorts his reality and you're watching these like excuse my french but these like perfect pussies no and all these things and by the way like sex isn't like that because that's literally like perfect lighting makeup everything no one's actually coming like it's yeah it's literally fraudulent yeah so i just think like it's definitely something i think you should bring up and to make you feel better i dated someone um when i first moved to nashville for a year and a half that was absolutely addicted to porn and he absolutely couldn't like get it up whenever we were having sex and he would apologize to me and say like i'm sorry like i i like

masturbated earlier and watched porn and i was just so trying to be the cool girl that i was like it's okay babe we'll just do another time yeah looking back now i wish i would have just had like a really calm don't be accusatory don't be mean don't be like you're addicted to porn i would just like have a conversation and maybe offer like can can you record us having sex and like watch that instead? By the way, that's like such a good idea. You're giving such good advice. Let's see if you can go three for three. Okay.

This one is probably more my wheelhouse though. Okay. Hi, Claudia and Jackie. Oh, sorry. Hi, Claudia and Shannon. Making this short and sweet, but how do I tell my fiance's brother's girlfriend, a dear friend of mine, that she is butchering head her already beautiful perfect face with facetune every picture she posts she edits the absolute shit out of her face hair body etc and it's getting out of control i mean everyone uses a little facetune but she's going

over the top we just recently went on my bachelorette party and she edited every picture of us not me just her okay she edits herself to the point where if you saw her in a photo and in real life you wouldn't think it was the same person. Do I say anything or just let her live? She's much younger than me, so I'd like to give her some advice, but I also don't want to offend her since I really do love our friendship. And she's not hurting anyone, so is it even worth saying anything? Just curious to hear your thoughts. Sincerely, a toaster that's Facetune subscription just expired.

All right. I'm very pro-Facetune. You will pretty much like never see a photo of me on the internet that was taken on an iPhone that hasn't been nipped, tucked nipped tucked the whole thing i love a tweak um professional photos like a getty image i don't do because like that's like embarrassing um however i have honed the skill over the years like you you might not know which pictures but there was a time on my time hop i will see a photo that was like there's we've all been there there's literally like a person behind me whose leg got cut off because

it was in my way so it's something you definitely learn over time and I imagine if somebody had told me back then like Claudia you literally like it's so obvious I would have been grateful for the tip but it's all about delivery it's all about the the delivery. And I, um, we had a friend in my friend group who was doing it a lot and we did end up telling her, this is your, here's the thing. Here's why it's embarrassing that your, um, fiance's brother's girlfriend is doing it. Um, it's embarrassing because everyone knows what it looks like. We are all evolved enough now that you can spot a face tune in two seconds back then when we were like, nobody knew not everyone realized it like now it's so obvious that it's almost like criminal if you don't tell her and help her out so true deliveries everything um i sometimes take the approach of

like making it a joke like he he ha ha like a girl like make it like almost kind of like funny in a joke but like everyone knows behind every joke there's some seriousness behind it right and she's younger than you so she's like already like probably impressionable like you need to be really soft soft but i just i do think you should say something and you were already so nice in your delivery with the question you were like yeah gorgeous you seem like a nice girl i think you could pull up a photo that you have of her that has not been edited and say like i was just looking at this photo i was thinking how gorgeous you looked like you're so pretty i know sometimes like you like tweak your photos with and be like that's fine i do it too like sometimes you know pimples or yeah and say yeah i do it too because like i think we all like everyone's gonna be listening i don't touch any of my shit well

like i do yeah i do no shame i just make myself look like i looked when i walked out the door by the end of the night when you're taking photos sometimes you don't look like when you walked out of the door so you know i'm when i'm editing like I make myself look how I looked when I walked out the door five years ago 20 20 pounds ago like just know like you've never seen a picture of me not editing but I also do this podcast and I can't edit the podcast so if you really want to know what I look like yeah I'm like whatever it's right fucking here I don't care like that's how I live with a with peace in my heart so if that bothers you feel free to unfollow me but like I'm protecting my heart yeah and you're allowed to do that and I think she is allowed to do that too but if it's like if it's embarrassing no of course

and you want to protect her she she is gonna regret it in five years when she looks back you know what that's also just a part of growing up sometimes people need to make their own mistakes and learn the hard way and and she will learn the hard way by having her uh boyfriends fiance's brothers girlfriend i cannot keep up with it tell her brothers girl because my friend when we told her you could tell she's a little embarrassed but like she literally stopped and then and then from this point forward she would send us photos and be like and ask for help is this too much and we'd be like um no you tweak that one good or someone would be like your arms fucked in that one yeah yeah she would it's helpful you have like a sounding board i do that with my sisters i'm like is this too i say this too tuned? I send that all the time.

I say, did I edit this too much? And they're like, no, it's good. Yeah. Or my eye white's too bright. When you're looking at a photo for so long, adding filters,

face tuning, you become like, you go blind to it. Yeah, exactly. And sometimes it takes a fresh set of eyes. Yeah. A hundred percent.

So just, this is totally a fine thing to say. Come at it from like a really kind of maternal, nice way. You already sound like you are though. Yeah. I'm not worried. You're going to crush it.

And that was Dear Toasters. If you guys want to write in for next Wednesday, it's deartoasters at gmail.com. Shannon's new podcast is available anywhere you can get your podcast. It's called Probably a Podcast. It is on Toast News Network. If you want to just go click the link in our bio

or click the link in Shannon's bio. New episodes are dropping every Tuesday. You can also watch them. A lot of our TNN shows don't have videos, but you do. It's super premium. We have an episode TNN shows don't have videos, but you do. It's super premium. We have an episode together if you guys never saw it.

Check it out. You also have great interviews with Hannah Berner, all the girlies. Yeah, all the girlies. It's really good. I'm biased, but it's fucking great.

And you're probably Shannon Ford on Instagram. Probably Shannon Ford on Instagram, TikTok, all the... Thank you so much for doing this last minute. Yay! And I'm so excited for our lunch vlog. Let's get in our bags. Yes.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast on every podcast we found on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Cast, Postal, and all the places where you can listen to podcasts on every morning to a safe and fun story about how beautiful and sunny it's where we are. Hope you guys have an amazing hump day. There is no show tomorrow. I am taking a personal day.

So and Jackie's still sick. So there's no show tomorrow. But am taking a personal day. So, and Jackie's still sick. So there's no show tomorrow, but hopefully Jackie will be back on Friday. If not, I'll make Ben come or Margo. There'll be a show Friday, not tomorrow. Thank you. Love you. Bye.

Love you. Peace. Bye.