The Toast - S5 Ep2: Girl Bossing Too Close To The Sun: Tuesday, January 4th, 2022

Episode Date: January 4, 2022

Tristan Thompson admits to fathering Maralee Nichols' baby, apologizes to Khloe (Page Six) Andy Cohen 'really regrets' slamming Ryan Seacrest during NYE broadcast (Page Six) Bachelorette Alum Blake Hortsmann Is Dating Love Is Blind's Giannina Gibelli (PEOPLE) Elizabeth Holmes, Thernos Founder, Found Guilt of Fraud and Conspiracy (PEOPLE) A hockey fan spotted a staffer's suspicious mole from the stands, saving his life (NPR) Dear Toasters Advice Segment The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to the Morning Toast. Happy Tuesday. So excited to get into the new year, into the Tuesday. How are you doing today, Claude? Hello. Welcome. Greetings. Bienvenidos a Miami. Hello, everyone. Happy Tuesday. I hope everyone's doing great. Tuesday. I hope everyone's doing great. I'm doing really great. You know what? I actually had such a productive first Monday of the year yesterday. I didn't see that for myself. I just saw it, you know, as another day in the chill zone with brew. It could have been my positivity that inspired you. It could have been. And I just really got done everything that I needed to. I had to like read a whole book for the redheads. I'm almost done with it. Had to open all my packages and like all of these things are so much harder, you know, eight months pregnant. And I accomplished everything I set out to do yesterday, which was a really good feeling. That is the best feeling. And I'm super

proud of you. And you know what? Positivity wins. Positivity wins. I also just want to say that we are using a new integrated interface today to record the podcast. If you guys have been around for a while, you've been here for all the iterations of podcasting. The ups, the downs. Remember Drunk Jackie on the ones and twos? Of course. What was that platform called that we used back then? That was Soundtrap.

Yeah. And last night I was looking for better remote podcasting platforms because we're also recording the Redheads remotely and I found this one that seems to be so great. We did a test. It sounded so good. So I hope you guys enjoy the audio and it gives Claudia the bandwidth to interrupt me so which is really a benchmark of this show and it's one of the things that's like really missing from our work from home episodes and I'm so glad that it's back like

truly I think it's what sets us apart like from our competitors so that's really exciting also I just realized because we can talk simultaneously it means we could sing yes it does yes it really does so you're sounding a little raspy this morning do you want to tell us about your night out yes Yes, I would love to. I hit the town last night. The town hit back. I had a lovely time. I actually went to a restaurant that was so unbelievably delicious.

And also, like, premium because the name of the restaurant was St. Theo's. Which, you know, as a mother, really special, like really, really special. Like to see an entire restaurant just kind of being built to honor my son. Like it's overwhelming, you know? A hundred percent. What a perfect, a perfect name for an establishment. Do they sell merch? You know what?

I was actually thinking that last night. All the staff were wearing like really cute St. Theo shirts. And I'm like, I need to get one of these. You need to get a job there. Literally. Hopefully they let you keep the uniform. And it was just a delicious evening. And then I saw a drag show.

I saw my girl Izzy. She does Mondays at Barracuda. I saw a bunch of toasters there who I have to assume knew about Mondays at Barracuda from my Instagram how much I raved about it so it was a fabulous affair full of fabulous people doing fabulous things wonderful what time did you get home it was late it was late it was really late especially for a Monday like that's just so me you know Especially for the first Monday of the new year Like other people

They're you know At the gym They're stocking up On groceries Yeah They are meditating And you're At the drag show

Till I'm gonna guess I'm gonna say You came home at two Okay It's later Well I probably Left the drag show

At about One But then I went back to Brian's and we were watching like Celine Dion videos and it was just like too good to leave and I was like I'm so relaxed right now okay so you were technically chilling I was technically asleep okay that's that's fair well I'm glad you had a good night you know the way you start the new year is how you'll spend the rest of the year so it's looking like it's gonna be a really fun year for you and like we were just saying like yesterday was a really productive day. Like I got all my work done and then I had to get all my play done too. Yeah, you did. You do it all.

That's the thing that I really kind of want to dive into. I do it all. Yeah. How was your evening? My evening was very, very low-key very different very quiet just hung with brew and I cooked some dinner I was reading mostly to record for the redheads tonight if you guys are joining the redheads this month make sure to drop your questions for us about this book or any other book really to the redheads book club at gmail.com we are really excited to record this episode the book has been really good. It's one of those like classic snitches choices. I think you would really like it, Claudia.

Yeah, no, it's on my list. Just, you know, reading right now because I crammed so much in at the end of the year. Reading's not a priority for me today. You know what? I'm kind of with you. Once I finish this book, I need to take a little bit of a break

because I need to wait to get like more book recommendations and stop like reading half baked books that I'm not enjoying it's making me not like reading so I have my tv docket my plate is going to be like full tv the new season of Victoria came out so I'm going to start watching um season one two and three again because we started watching it on vacation and it was so good wouldn't you say it was wonderful actually i really enjoyed the show i will be like picking it up in my spare time that makes me so happy i also need to watch emily in paris just to see you know what's going on that actually is something that i wanted to discuss because i watched the first like maybe four or five episodes and it is really really bad like really atrocious like it's borderline unwatchable is it worse than the first season yes in my opinion damn okay well i'm gonna

give it a shot just because it's the zeitgeist yeah and you know the show is for me there's two major takeaways like one gotta go to paris i've never been and they really do a great job of romanticizing the city like making it look like clean and fun. But I don't think, based on what the show has explained to me, I think I would literally like despise French people. They make the French out to be incredibly unlikable, rude, anti-American. And just overall, like they would hate me big fat american and i would hate

them too no i think that they would hate you just but more than emily more than emily oh for sure more than emily because like she's she's trying to be a parisian queen but maybe they would have more respect for you since you wouldn't try like maybe that's what they don't like about right Emily's spineless and then she's like trying so hard and it's like yourself girl no and her version of like American culture is like Midwest deep dish pizza like that's like she's kind of like she's vanilla you know she really she's awful actually the show is is unwatchable yeah no I think in any culture they would just respect you being yourself I think that you're right that is like a boundless quality like universal quality you know okay so we'll keep you posted on that like I'm trying to get through it it's

painful damn okay maybe I won't be watching it, but whatever. Anyways, I'm going to get to all the TV once I finish reading this book, though I am enjoying it. And I just want to say the main character has expressed regret for her travel attire on the first day. So we are okay. We are also okay because it's Tuesday, which means, dear toasters, our first of the year. Hopefully we'll give some people some life-changing, year-changing advice. That'll be at the end of the show but of course before that we've got loads to discuss we do have loads to discuss and i guess you know we could jump right in i feel totally abreast just want to let everyone know brew's not feeling so great today

so if he's quiet in the background do you see him claude noude? No. To my right? No. On the bed? No. Oh, okay. He's there. Anyways, so just, you know, keep brewing your thoughts today. And now, without further ado or a brew, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast. And today's episode is brought to you by Calm. A lot of emotions can resurface during the holiday season. Happiness, sadness, joy, excitement, stress, the list goes on. So remember to take time for yourself and make sure you keep your mental wellness in check. Take a break with Calm, the number one mental wellness app that gives you the tools to improve the way you feel.

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Search for The Jordan Harbinger Show, that's H-A-R-B-I-N-G-E-R, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Very exciting. That sounds like a great podcast to take into the new year. Actionable advice. Actionable advice.

I totally agree. You love to see it. Okay, our first story is the big story of the day. Tristanpson admits to fathering marilyn nichols's baby and apologizes to chloe so tristan third trimester thompson tristan can't stop cheating on chloe thompson has admitted what we all know trash thompson tristan china thompson though this story is big enough to, you know, remove, to temporarily remove the China. He took his Instagram stories to let us know what we already knew,

which was that, quote, today paternity test results revealed that I fathered a child with Marilyn Nichols. I want to take full responsibility for my actions. Now that paternity has been established, I look forward to raising our son. He continued saying, I sincerely apologize to everyone I've heard or disappointed throughout this ordeal, both privately and publicly. Then he said, Chloe, you don't deserve this. You don't deserve the heartache and humiliation I have caused you. You don't deserve the way I have treated you over the years. Okay, first of all, it's giving Maury.

You are not the father. it's giving Maury. You are not the father. It's giving Maury. This is, first of all, there's so much to unpack here because the first thing is like, this child will grow up and this is all public and like knowing Tristan like didn't claim him, said horrible things, tried to pay off his mom with 75 grand.

Like there's so much wrong with it. And then there's of course like the whole Kardashian element, which of course just, know changes things it is seriously like there's not much that tristan thompson could do that would surprise me but he's outdone himself yet again yeah no and considering this is a pattern of behavior for him you shouldn't be surprised you know it's like that's what a pattern is you can expect it you can rely on it this is really really shocking i really you know i i fell for what i fell for it for what he was selling i fell for when they were looking for ufos like i just i fell for it all i really thought he was a changed man jackie you know who else fell for it chloe i don't think she did she was always like so annoyed with him she was always

like keeping him at arm's length yeah i mean she can only keep him so far because of true but i didn't see a great love on the show and no me neither i am now glad for it at the time i feel like i was just trying i probably said something know, like people are different on camera. It could be awkward, whatever. No, you literally like so, I did too, rode hard. But that's the thing about perspective and hindsight. And so I hope, I feel as though Khloe is doing fine. I think they broke up a long time ago. I think she knew about these rumors since the summer. And so I'm not so worried about like Khloe.

I'm just like, this man. And you know what's over it like there's there's really no more chances after this. And when you think of perspective I'm so glad you brought that up. The Tristan we saw on Kardashians was like incredibly sweet like almost like a big teddy bear. sweet like almost like a big teddy bear and i have a feeling that we've been duped because a teddy bear doesn't like deny paternity and like make a woman take a test and like offer her 75 grand of hush money like i just feel like we don't know who the real tristan thompson is for real we've been i don't think i don't think anyone does i completely agree i think it's probably something

that he's struggling with too i'm sure the tristan that we saw on the show like is a facet of his personality this like kind of like goofy doofus awkward but then there's also the one you know that cheats on his girlfriend the mother of his child and then doesn't claim paternity and like it's a surprised when sex leads to a baby right which is really kind of a statement on the level of sexual education our education system is providing no i completely agree tristan thompson needs to go to sex ed and learn about the birds and the bees no you know what you know what i actually was thinking like his mom just must be so disappointed in him this is just like it was the way it's the situation he got himself into but it's also really how he conducted himself like in a really unethical way and i just know it i know his mom raised him better than that like i saw her

on the kardashians and like she just must be really disappointed yeah it's disappointing for sure and it goes without saying i don't even know if we ever had a ship in the port it has been deconstructed burned to pieces we didn't even bother repurposing the wood like it's it's cursed no nothing about it is salvageable nothing yeah okay well that's the latest hopefully he can go back into the corner of being China for good. And I really do hope that the family like, of course, he's true. Dad always will be. But like, that's it. No more trying to bring him.

Well, the family just follows Chloe's lead. So whatever Chloe decides, however, she wants to move forward. Yes and no. Like, I mean, because you could say the same thing sort of back in the day about like Scott and Courtney, even when they broke up, it felt like he became more part of the family than ever um and i feel like that was because like those were extenuating circumstances like both of his parents passed away yeah but i also feel like chloe is always going to try and take the high road and do right by him for true yeah but i just hope that it's not to the level that it was and I don't think that it could

be or that it will be no but you're right the Kardashians don't let anyone go they're still hanging out with Khloe's ex-boyfriend French Montana for like the last 10 years right exactly but I think that's just because like he was fun yeah no for sure and they are connected forever via true so is Bruno barking? Bruno is barking. And I said he wasn't going to be on the show today because he wasn't feeling well. I guess he's feeling better. What's wrong with him?

I don't want to be too graphic, but there... There was blood in his duty. But there was blood in his stool this morning, yeah. Stool. But I've already started his medication. You know, he has it. We already had it in stock because you know this has happened before something he goes through a lot i just hope he's okay he's gonna be totally fine i think he's just like really missing his cousins like he was waking up every day theo was there knolls was there yeah the kids they were going

hard and now it's it's kind of lonely and quiet and sometimes the silence is deafening sometimes that makes you poop blood yeah it's like when you used to go to camp and it was like so fun and then you would get home and at least for me like i loved camp so much you would slowly become depressed and like realize all the things that are missing and for me it was like waking up in the quiet of my own bedroom without like you know the hoorah of you know 18 girls being in a bunk not 18 like nine um that was really hard for me i'm so glad i got that off my chest um thank you for sharing that's claudia that's beautiful you're welcome you're absolutely are you ready for our next story sure which is actually really funny and something that i wanted to talk about anyway which we almost talked about yesterday but i guess we we got sidetracked. Andy Cohen really regrets slamming Ryan Seacrest during the New Year's Eve broadcast.

No! I know. Andy Cohen is still dealing with the fallout from his New Year's drunken Eve. The booze-loving Bravo Liberty issued a mea culpa to Ryan Seacrest on Monday for bashing his ABC New Year's Eve broadcast team as a, quote, group of losers while he downed drink after drink on his rival cnn holiday special with anderson cooper last friday so he went on a number of rants on the cnn special everyone saw the mayor de blasio one which was like so incredible so

iconic um and he also said he said quote um he called ryan seacrest and his uh what did he say his band of losers he group of losers i think and then so he took to his radio show and said the only thing that i regret saying the only thing is that i slam the abc broadcast and i really like ryan seacrest and he's a great guy and i really regret saying it and i was just stupid and drunk and feeling it. And it was, I was continuing the journey rant and I just kept talking and I shouldn't have and I felt bad about that. So that is the only thing I regret.

It's the only thing. He said, this is what he said. Okay, it was the best part. Sorry, it was the best part. He said, Ryan Seacrest's group of losers that are performing behind us. I mean, with all due respect, if you've been watching ABC tonight, you've seen nothing. I'm sorry. We literally, Andy is speaking facts.

I could write a whole dissertation on the whole dynamic of the different broadcasting teams at New Year's Eve across the country. And Ryan Seacrest was an enormous disappointment. Yeah, I agree. Like, there was no lie in that statement, but it was definitely, you know, not a nice thing to say. I also feel like Andy Cohen and Ryan Seacrest like are the same person just in parallel universes and like they don't disrupt

the I've never heard Andy talk about Ryan or Ryan talk about Andy they do the same job just on like two different like huge conglomerates that is extremely true so it's not like they're friends or enemies so I feel like Andy even saying anything about him and now it's like a negative thing. It's like, yeah, this is the guy who gets all the 50% of the jobs that you don't get. Right. Or like Andy's – actually the way I see it is like Andy's the guy who takes the jobs that Ryan doesn't. Yeah. No, but it's like it's ABC and NBC.

Like there's like 100 jobs out there. Ryan gets 50. Andy gets 50. And the world is at an equilibrium with that. And I do feel like with this comment, he disturbed the equilibrium. No, the balance is 100% off. So he apologized for that, which was really funny. I also wanted to talk about his CNN broadcast because –

You know, I can't imagine going on television for four hours and getting wasted and just being expected to say and do crazy shit, like talk shit about celebrities. Like that's how you get in trouble. Like you have to be enormously brave to do that. Yeah, but I do feel like it's been sort of this buildup. Like last year he was like he got a little drunk. He did a rant about de Blasio. It went over really well.

I feel like he was encouraged to do more of that this year. And, you know, he's making headlines and buzz. And I think overall it's really good. But the way that him and Anderson act as if they're on CNN, it's like us at the CMA red carpet. We're just here flying by the seat of our pants. Thanks for letting us through the door. And it's like, you guys are on CNN.

It's a little bit more legit than a grassroots live stream. Yeah. So the thing that I feel, i'm a big andy fan and i think like when he's just in his element like he's great at this like duo andy cohen anderson cooper they've been on tour together they're best friends i don't like it doesn't do it for me i don't live for it like i think andy's better on his own i agree yeah no i don't i've never really consumed the two of them me neither so it's not for me personally but some of the clips and the quotes, you know, it's clear that there was some there there.

Yeah. No, I mean, it's there's something for everyone on New Year's Eve. And that's what's so great about this great nation. Yeah, there really is. So apologies to Ryan Seacrest, though. I it was like, just imagine like having to go on your radio show or podcast and having to like apologize for drunk shit you said like on national television like the pit is enormous but andy's a pro i don't really feel like he was so out i mean i'm sure he was drunk but like he is wired to perform i don't think he was so

out of control in his own mind okay that's true i mean that would be so irresponsible yeah no this it's not like i just think maybe that's one thing that he wouldn't have said but in the grand scheme of things like to get really drunk and that's the worst thing that you said yeah is not a big deal and it was hysterical hysterical and completely factual fact-based data-based question are you ready for our next story yes ma'am okay i don't know if you've seen this but bachelorette alum blake hortzman is reportedly dating love is blind's giannina gibelli oh no yeah and i know that you're gonna like go in on this story but i i kind of love stories like this but yeah i mean they really found love in a hopeless place so hortzman has been real quiet yeah he's been quiet he like does his thing in denver and according to like instagram

and backgrounds and photos that they posted they were together on new year's eve and this is a budding romance between the two a source probably you know janina herself says that they're taking things slow but that they seem really happy together to be honest like i don't know who i'm more frightened for like lest we not forget blake hortsman like released all those text messages of him and kaylin like really intimate stuff like that was for me when i like stopped fucking with him not that he knew about it but no and we really stand for a very long time yeah so i don't know if i would want to be in a relationship with someone who has a history of doing that. But I have watched Love is Blind and I know Giannina and she's pretty scary too.

So no concrete examples. It's just an energy, a chaotic energy that she radiates. And I'm frightened for both of them. And maybe it's the relationship of a lifetime. They've met their match. Maybe they've met their match. I love when there's reality TV crossover like this and the end of the relationship starts. I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often. Also, it's really good PR for like both parties. Yeah. And I think like so many people like ship and there's a lot of crossover and, you know, new followers to be had.

Right. So I'm really here for it. I mean, I'm happy for them if they're happy with each other. I can't imagine what a fight in that house would sound like, but I'm wishing them the best. Well, if it's still early days, they're on their best behavior. I doubt they've had their first fight yet. Yeah.

I wonder if they watched each other's shows. Talked to them in six months. Yeah. Whatever. Like, cute. Cute wins. Cute. Yeah. It's pretty cute. It six months. Yeah. Whatever. Like, cute. Cute wins. Cute. Yeah.

It's pretty cute. It's cute. Yeah. Good luck to them. Truly. Are you ready for our next story? Only if it's the next story that's brought to you by Noom. It is.

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What do you have to lose? Noom is the perfect New Year's resource if you want to hold yourself accountable, if you want to set new goals and live a different lifestyle. Noom is there. It is the best support system that you could possibly have. Yeah. Next story is a little justice news elizabeth holmes the founder of theranos has been found guilty of fraud and conspiracy a federal justice system just like keeps churning them out knocking them out of the park a federal jury in california found elizabeth holmes guilty of fraud and

conspiracy on monday holmes had been charged with 11 counts of fraud for claims made to investors and patients of her Silicon Valley blood testing company Theranos. The jury handed down a partial verdict on Monday, finding Holmes guilty of four of the 11 charges, three counts of wire fraud and one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud. She was found not guilty of an additional four, and then the jury remained deadlocked on the other three counts the federal government will have to decide if they want to retry her for those three counts the ones that they couldn't reach a verdict on she faces you think the people in jury were able like do you think if you had seen the documentary you couldn't be a juryman that's so

interesting it's definitely like it's leading the witness yeah but it's also like the same thing as like if you watch the news can you be a jury person right like with oj like they were literally those jurors cut off from civilization if you had watched it before jury selection watched what the documentary like everyone the OJ jurors, they like, you know, they saw the car chase on TV. Would you be able to be a juror if you saw that? I mean, that's just being alive. Right, exactly. So I don't know.

I think, I think, I don't know. I feel like no. I've never seen it. You know, I really don't associate with this whole scandal. I don't know who Elizabeth Holmes is. I never saw the documentary all i know is she sounds like a girl boss queen and justice for elizabeth holmes okay she girl bossed she girl bossed her way to the top she girl boss a little too close to the sun and i respect it i do yeah scam those rich people get them okay that's

not what happened i'll try and give you a small synopsis. Basically, she started this tech company. She said, so normally when you are getting tests done, you need a lot of vials of blood for each test to be done. I'm having deja vu, by the way. I think you've explained this to me before. No, I don't think that I have. She said that with a little pinprick of your finger, we'll draw a little bit of blood,

and we can test for all of these different things in her new machine. I just feel like that technology should exist already. Should exist. But as the documentary showed, there's a reason why it doesn't, because you do need large amounts of blood, and it's a very involved process. And basically, she was saying that her machine worked with this little bit of blood,

but really what they were doing was sending out the blood to the other existing machines, getting results back, and then saying that it was coming from her new technology. You know what I call that? Unique business strategy. Okay? Justice for Elizabeth Holmes. Defrauding investors is what some other people call it. Okay, I just want to say, like, technically, all these, you know, tech tech companies you could find fraud in a lot of

startups that take money from investors that's all i'm saying yeah no i'm sure there's a lot that goes down and justice for elizabeth holmes like i i'm really starting a coalition join me okay and you know i'm it's important to have that, you know, that feel important to you. Jackie, you're telling me you've never gotten carried away. She definitely got carried away. Her team, like, tried to make it seem like she was so, you know, innocent and didn't realize that, like, that's what she was doing. Also, and they noted that, like, she never cashed out as, like, the company was tanking like what a lot of like intentional con people do i'm telling you jackie there's something here i just know if you watch the documentary and you've and you heard her speak or heard from her like she's not your

girly oh yeah and everyone was making fun of her because she like talked like this even though like that's not how she talked she like read a study somewhere that said people will respect you if you have a low voice and And that's the thing. That's the challenge women are facing in the workplace. Like having to constantly evolve their clothes, their voice, their hair. I think that Elizabeth Holmes is like a hero. I mean, I would give to Elizabeth Holmes the same advice I would give to Emily in Paris. Just be yourself, girl. It's not working any other way.

That's kind of the message, I think today's episode be yourself in 2022 yeah i like that because everyone else is taken claude and you know eve's great no matter where she goes dress her up from her head to her toes where are you going i'm not really sure the unclear i thought the message of that song was something about being yourself but the more i sang it the more i realized it's not it's about eve being great i know it's about like shining bright and shining far but just because you're being yourself doesn't mean that you're really shining necessarily oh harsh words today like not everyone is a star no no that's actually that's a really important lesson that i think not enough young adults have learned like there's main character energy and there's supporting character energy and life is all about finding out which one you are

the club there's also extra energy no there's also chorus line there's craft services stage hand find your place in the production that is life life is the theater and just so nobody gets it twisted like jackie and i are very much main characters i just i'm sorry we don't make the rules like i did not make this up we did not choose this no we did not make this up. We did not choose this. No, we did not choose this life. And don't get it twisted. Like the main character life, it does come with its challenges, its adversity, its benefits, of course, but also some disadvantages. Yeah.

I would say that the supporting character life is like a – A life worth living. If you're thinking about like the grand scheme of things and there's all these different roles and some people are even behind the scenes. Like to be a supporting character, it's like you're really just. You're there, but you don't have to work that hard. Yeah. It's less responsibility, less pressure. So just something to think about.

You know, if. OK, I have the best call. Ready? Ready? I'm ready right i've been ready like life's a stage that's what they say right i want to be judy greer yeah like constantly supporting but always always relevant yeah no that's what I'm saying. It's good stuff. Yeah. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Oh, already?

Hold on. Let me grab some utensils. I think today I'll use this Morphe X Madison beer. Oh, I was like, what are you doing? We're going to have to get at-home triangles. Yeah, I know. We left them at the studio. I know.

I think we should have them at home anyway. You just never know we left them at the studio i know i think we should have them at home anyway you just never know when you're gonna need to bust out in song it also just doesn't feel right to not be sleeping in a are you okay no sorry i'm literally having a question for you and i probably should have asked at the beginning of this episode like i'm on a scale of 1 to 10, how hungover are we? So if I were to give in to this hangover, if I were to acknowledge her, speak directly in her face, she would be a 7. That's like high.

But I said yesterday, I'm in charge of my own mindset. I am ignoring this hangover. To me, she doesn't exist. Got it. Therefore, making her a four. She is popping up a little bit here and there. But you're doing great. Thank you.

No, my brain, like at certain points, like I've been looking for words this morning that are just either don't exist or have not come to me. And it's very frustrating. I'm like pregnant. That's the effect of alcohol, honestly. Yeah. It's really frustrating. But no worries.

I'm here for you. In case I can fill in your sentences. You're here for me for what? For the final. The final story. Do do do do do. Do do do do do do do. Oh.

Do do do do. Do do do do do do do. Do do do. Do do do do do do do. Do do. Oh, God. It's the final story. Thank you very much. Justice for Elizabeth Holmes. Okay.

A few things. One, it didn't sound like our singing was syncing up, which is really unfortunate. Two, you rubbing your tools on the microphone is going to get. Sorry. Is not going to play well for some people. And three, we need the triangles. We need the triangles desperately. But our fifth and final story, I actually think you're really going to enjoy.

It's a little, you know, it's not celeb news, but it's some important health sports news. No, no, no. That made it sound like it's a hard some important health sports news yeah no no that made it sound like it's a hard one to categorize lame it's a hard one to categorize we can work on the categorization after i tell you the story tell me the story and i'll tell you how i would have categorized it okay a hockey fan was at a hockey game and she spotted a staffer one of the coaches had a suspicious mole from the stand she saw and so she wrote him a little note on her phone in the notes app and showed it to him the note said the mole on the back of your neck is possibly cancerous please go see a doctor and he did and she saved his life

okay wait first of all i just i'm trying not to get triggered by this story because it's about a mole and i just like have a thing with moles this is so crazy i actually saw a really similar tiktok yesterday about this guy who did a tiktok or whatever and someone left a comment like that mole looks cancerous it was he had to get like eight moles on his back removed and literally saved his life this is such a crazy story but i'm telling you if i was at like an event and someone came up to me and sent me a note that said the mole on your neck looks cancerous i i'm like i would turn around and be like are you what are you doing like are you trying to ruin my night like it's a lovely sentiment i'm so glad it worked out i'm just thinking like if i was in this situation like would i have to go home like could I still enjoy the rest of the game yeah so she was um she wanted to warn him

but she was wary of making him uncomfortable so she that's why she typed the note and the guy said that like he initially quote didn't give her the time of day when she said it but then when he got home he asked his wife to look at it and she said it was a weird shape too so then he showed it to the team physician who also didn't like the look of it and that uh he removed it within days and then the biopsy revealed that it was a malignant melanoma in situ too meaning the cancer was only on the outer layer of the skin was detected before it could become even more dangerous but if he had ignored it for like four or five years he would not probably not survive that is so crazy and did this woman come forward yeah so now so then he took to like twitter and he's like who is this fan and they found her and she also is a medical

student and now they've like paid off her medical school loans and it's a beautiful story great ending it's it's a really great story and it's also a reminder, you know, to get checked. Yes. And to be careful. You got to be checked. So I thought it was a really heartwarming story. And what would you categorize it as? I'm so glad you circled back to that.

You know what it might be? Good news. It's the definition of good news. Sports health, like, was was fine but i was thinking like oh no lebron james broke his ankle or something you know right okay so it's a bit of good news that was a really crazy story i mean the best part you buried the lead they've paid off her her debt that is so sweet yeah no it's totally full circle and i think it's a story with a great message i love that yeah even though I agree with you,

like if someone said that to me. Unwell. I obviously, in the moment, I would be just like him. Like I wouldn't have paid it a lot of mine and then it would have like weighed on me and I would have done something about it. In the moment, I would have been deeply hurt. There's really no right way to tell someone something like that.

But this is as close as it gets to that. That is so cute. Yeah cute yeah really really great story so i think that's a great way to end the fast five today i feel as though you needed to know all of these stories and now you do i completely completely agree and now we can talk about dear toasters see what everyone's up to so our advice segment dear toasters is our weekly advice segment where we try to do our best you know we try to be honest. Sometimes truth hurts. And that's what we're here to do, hurt everyone.

And the email is deartoasters at gmail.com if you're ever looking for some advice from your two best gal pals. Today's episode of The Morning Toast and Dear Toasters is brought to you by FitOn, the number one free fitness app designed to help you achieve your health and wellness goals and fit some much needed me time into your schedule. Whatever you enjoy doing, finding your me time with FitOn is super important. They have a variety of classes available. Pilates, bar, yoga, kickboxing, cardio, strength, dance, and even a guided meditation.

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and Caroline Pierce. They have more than 350,000 five-star reviews and you just got to check it out. Join the over 10 million people getting their fit on. Workout for free anytime, anywhere. Text TOAST to 64000 to join Fit On for free. So that's TOAST to 64000. T-O-A-S-T to 64000. That's TOAST to 64000. Thanks, Claude. You know what they like to say. It's a pleasure.

Okay, well, I'm excited to hear what everyone's cooked up for us this week me too hopefully there's some good drama ready dear jackie and claudia first of all love you guys been listening since the beginning thanks for always making my day so much brighter oh my best friend is over 15 years is in a my best friend of over 15 years is in a horrible relationship with a guy bobble whom she claims to be happy with. They've been together for about a year now, but they have no official title. She's recently been talking to me about an engagement with Bobby. Oh, I thought that said Bobble.

L-O-L. I think I'm going to call him Bobble. Like the sponsor. Like, okay. Unwell. Like, okay. Unwell. She's recently been talking to me about an engagement with Babbel and moving away to another state with him in a couple of years for his job.

He's a doctor. She says she sees forever with him. And despite posting on social media and pretending like everything is fine, she has cheated on bobble multiple times and recently just found out he's been cheating on her too i confronted her about the situation and how it's major red flags but she says she forgives him and trusts him and they're going to work it out meanwhile bobble has no idea that she ever cheated on him too she's been in an unfaithful marriage and divorce after sorry wait she's already been in an unfaithful marriage and divorced after a few months and if bobby knew she cheated i know they would not be together because the trust was not that strong to begin with she keeps living in this life with bobble and her friends are you having a hard time following this i am but i

think it's me no i think it's me okay so she's a cheater cheater pumpkin eater but bobble she's been divorced bobble cheated too she knows about his cheating bobble doesn't know about hers um let me just get through it she keeps living in this lie with bobble and her friends and family by pretending that everything is perfectly fine in her relationship and i truly think it's going nowhere what would you do in the situation am i crazy for inserting myself into my friend's love life all of our other friends think that's what's happening. It's crazy too, but I'm the only one who would say something to her. Her previous marriage was so

unhealthy and it seems like that's where it's heading again. We are only in our mid-twenties and I think she needs to be single for a while or figure her shit out. Do I push her to tell the truth to Bobble and hope that he will end the relationship or do I just let it go and see how it all unfolds? Sincerely, a toaster who's trying to be a good friend. I have a really hot take. You claim to be a toaster who's trying to be a good friend. I have a really hot take.

Okay. You claim to be a toaster who's trying to be a good friend. You sound nosy as fuck. Like, seriously. No, I mean. Leave everyone alone. My advice on this is leave her alone. Like, this girl is so chaotic.

Babel is chaotic. Like, the whole situation. And, like, I just wouldn't, like, stick your nose in it whatsoever. Because also, it's not like she's going to have a rational reaction to you trying to tell her what to do with her life because, you know, she doesn't seem like an extremely rational person who would like cheat on every relationship that she's been in. But it also like if Bob was cheating and he's cheating, like they sound like a match made in heaven. No, to be honest, a lot of people write into us about relationships and this is between Bobble and whoever seems like the healthiest one yeah yeah the only thing is it's like if this person is your close friend like i don't know how much you could trust her because you know she's not a trustworthy person so i would just like you know hold that close to my chest i didn't think you need to stop being friends with

her but i wouldn't like tell her my deepest darkest secrets because her moral code is like a little twisted but don't get involved in her relationship um especially if bobble is doing the same thing if you were like bobble is this amazing guy you know he's yeah like you need to rescue him he's a single father he's giving it all up he's a volunteer he's giving it all up for my friend and like she's gonna ruin his life maybe i would say like it's time to write an anonymous letter right but that doesn't seem like the case. It sounds like they are just chaotic together and they'll have to figure it out on their own. Yeah, 100%. Best of luck to you and Bobble. Yeah.

Next up. Hi, Claude and Jack. I'm in a pickle and I need your advice. Hopefully Dr. Frachemin is in for this one. He's actually out to lunch with a client. Okay, sorry. I'm really unwell. I have an old work friend that I used to be super close with when we worked together at

our old job. We were work besties. We got along great. She was unfortunately let go from the company in early 2020 before the pandemic. And despite the fact that we no longer worked together after, we still stayed friendly. We get together about once a month for dinner and we always have a great time. But lately, she's been really bugging me and I'm not sure how to handle it. She hasn't worked since then, but besides odd jobs here and there, she texts me constantly. And if I don't respond,

she will double, even triple text me, sending gifs, asking if I'm alive, if I haven't responded in five minutes. It's driving me nuts because I do have a job and a life other than texting her. She's 10 years older than me. She has two kids and lives close to an hour away. So I'm just feeling like our lives are at two completely different places. And like, I really don't have time or energy to invest into this friendship anymore. On top of it all.

Oh, she's been having an affair with one of our old coworkers for almost three years now. Oh my God. She constantly talks about him when we're together and the guy's a total loser. So I really don't want to hear about it and I have no sympathy for her drama any longer. My question is this. How do I communicate to this person that I think we're at two different points in life

and I just don't have the energy or time to invest in our relationship without being a total bitch? I do love her. I do have love for her. But with work, my family, close circles of friends, I'm feeling maxed out on what I can give at this point. I'm getting married in a couple months. She's invited to the wedding, so I don't want to burn a bridge in this hectic time. But I can't take the constant texting and invites to get together.

I told her December was a crazy month. I couldn't get together until the new year, and she literally texted me on January 2nd asking when I was free. Stop. Help me now. I'm feeling very RDH. Thanks, blah, blah. I have two things to say.

Okay. The first is that like people you meet through work can be so twisted and dark like circus freaks. Okay. Okay. freaks okay okay but it takes a true sociopath to take a work friendship and bring it into the real world and ma'am that was your first mistake i don't want to you know i'm not blaming you because we're gonna help but this is a lesson moving forward don't take work relationships out of the office because they never work out well okay i also have a bit of a conspiracy theory

if crazy friend is having an affair with someone from the office for three years now and she no longer works there and you're her only tie to the office i think she's using you a little bit to like get intel on this guy and like to keep her connected to the workplace and just you know like when you have a like when you know someone who knows who knows the guy that you like, like, you keep them a little bit closer because you want them to, like, when you see them to talk about you, like, whatever. And I think she's using you a little bit. So I wouldn't be so worried about hurting her feelings. I don't think she cares about you as much as it seems.

I think that, like, you are her connection to this guy. Yeah, that's a good call. Like. You are her connection to this guy. Yeah, that's a good call. Like, I mean, usually my advice is like, OK, you know, keep her at arm's length. Can't get plans. Sorry. You know, a few texts go unanswered, but it sounds like that's what you're doing. I don't think she'll leave you alone until you quit your job. And then you're.

Oh, and then you're of no value. Right. So that's the question. How badly do you want to get rid of her enough to quit your job yeah sacrifices must be made or you have to get him fired yeah i like that i like that a lot yeah that's like that's why she can't let go because most people they would get the hint but she doesn't care she needs the tea no but also like there is an age gap and like i think most people i'm assuming this girl's about our age, which would make this woman almost 40.

There are generational – like if a 25-year-old was an – like if – okay, so if someone wasn't responding to me and I kept asking them to hang out, like I would get the hint. But I think that like in an older generation, you're like, oh, they must not be by their phone. They missed it. Like they're not taking the hint as directly as someone our age would yes and also just because she doesn't have so much invested in your friendship because she's just using you yeah she doesn't care about taking a hit like she's like i don't care i gotta get the information who else is he talking to at the office what is he getting into is he getting a promotion right or just lie tell him he got fired and then she'll like never speak to you again okay all right the third and final dear toasters hello ladies i love both of you gals and the podcast

for the sake of time i'm gonna skip the pleasantries i'm in need of help my roommate is genuinely driving me crazy every day i'm closer and closer to snapping. What is causing me to slowly melt away into insanity, you ask? Chewing. Her fucking chewing. Though even calling it chewing is honestly putting it lightly. It is the vile, vile-ist, chomping, groaning, and smacking. You may think I'm being hyperbolic and I'll be the first to say I am a bit of a drama queen, but I'm being absolutely dead serious. It is so awful.

No matter what she's eating, it sounds like a ravenous dog. I have to excuse myself to my room and even then I can hear it through the walls. Oh my God. I've never been sensitive. I've never been sensitive to the sound of chewing before, but it makes me so nauseous even thinking about it. I tried to jokingly say something before, but it hasn't gone over well and i don't want to hurt her feelings because she's one of my friends i have no clue what to do and i feel

guilty even just writing about it because the last thing i would want to do is make her feel bad and i don't know how much longer i can live like this we are living together next year too help how do i preserve my friendship lots of love i think that there are some things and you can be friends with someone but there are a things and you can be friends with someone but there are a few key elements that make two people incompatible as roommates and you could be the best of friends I would say like one thing is temperature if you guys don't agree on what the like you like it cold they like it hot it doesn't matter how much you love each other you cannot live together I would say if she is a gross chewer and you clearly have misophonia and yeah because you're being a drama queen you hear

it through the walls like come on it's like a hound like bruno sized ears right then you two cannot live together and i think you need to part amicably and still remain the best of friends but she cannot be eating three meals a day plus snacks right girls gotta eat when you're in earshot it's just it's incompatibility not all friends are meant to live together yeah but you know like i actually i also have sympathy for the girl writing in like actually i experienced this last yesterday i'm not gonna name names i went to lunch with a friend who ate a tuna sandwich and maybe there is something about tuna and mayo. And this person is not generally a gross eater and this person does not listen to the podcast, so I have no qualms about this person finding out. But the way this person was eating a tuna

sandwich, I almost literally got up and left the table. It was so offensive. So I know what you're going through. And then it's like you want to eat and then you feel nauseous and like you know this 15 wrap i just ordered is irrelevant so i feel you no and food is meant to be enjoyed i feel like i've been on both sides of this like i've heard chewing that i cannot stand and i've also been told like my chewing is loud and annoying when i feel like i'm just trying to eat and nourish my body really you know no one's ever told me that before like my chewing is annoying exactly sometimes comes from my chewing and i'm like i'm eating like i'm feeding our child shut up no i'm like i'm not gonna swallow it whole

no there are people who do that right no but like he's just like it's like my chewing is not particularly annoying it's just chewing in general so yeah. And I think like this whole chew – it's a big thing in our culture. Like people are very triggered. And I really, to be honest, like I think that we need to stop making fun of people the way people chew. And we need to start making fun of the people who are triggered by chewing. Like it's on you. Like I'm blaming you. I'm holding you responsible.

I'm holding you accountable. Wow. You're turning the tables. Yeah. Though if you did want to, you know, submit – like sorry i'm a human being who has to survive though to this toaster if you do submit an update about what you decide to do please attach a video of your friend chewing and maybe we'll have sympathy i need proof i need to know if you're being a drama queen because the way you're describing it okay not even the sound of chewing but like you know when people get like

the saliva lines and in the corners of their mouth. See, that I think we should blame people for because that is something you can avoid. Yeah. So and that like three meals a day plus snacks like that's overwhelming. That's taxing. And you can't live in that sort of environment. By the way, why don't you encourage her to go on the master cleanse? Like 10 days of just drinking juice.

That way you can get 10 days of silence and peace. Yeah. Try the juice smoothie cleanse that I did. It was so good. And then plan like fun night activities. And you'll be like, hey, Sarah, tonight instead of dinner, I was thinking we make milkshakes. And then it becomes like a fun roommate thing. No, I think that when it comes time to re-up, I don't know how you could say it to her I think you if it's

a true friend I think you need to be honest be like I love you to pieces we will be best friends for life but I am very sensitive to chewing and you chew like a cow and we are not compatible living together and I don't want to make you feel bad about it but I don't know what to do because this is just like and send her the symptoms of misophonia because you know i didn't know what it was until we chewed one time on the podcast in las vegas and we got our and triggered an entire generation ass is handed to us okay we got fucking reamed out and now i understand also margo claims to have misophonia also self-diagnosed yeah but anyways just try being honest especially if this is your real friend like you can be honest with your friends like if dana was chewing in a way

that i could not live with i would say girl right and you come at it from a place of love like i'm trying to salvage salvage this friendship because at this rate like i will kill you in your sleep yeah no you're doing this to save the friendship right and i think that's powerful yeah it's so nice when you have like people in your life that you can just be straight with yes i couldn't agree you know not like the co-worker who are like how are you gonna avoid her not like skirt around not like bobbles woman who like is crazy and you would never tell her what you actually think right no like there's such a You know what I'm doing in 2022? I'm putting. Fuck, I can't speak today. In 2022, I. No, you know what? I take back the sentence. I don't want to go down that road. I don't want to learn words. What were you trying to say? I don't remember. Like I was trying to say like in 2022, like I'm putting my time and energy into direct

and honest communication, something like that. Okay. Okay. Or maybe conversely, like in 2022, I'm surrounding myself with people who I can be honest with. Yeah, that's good too. You know, because I don't think everyone like wants to hear your direct communication. How long? When do you think is the appropriate time to like stop talking about the fact that it's like a new year

and like stop wishing people happy new year personally for me I take all of January because as an awkward person having a greeting that I can go to when I see people is means everything to me yeah you just throw it in your back pocket yeah like so I could say hey happy new year like when I'm texting someone out of the blue like it's better than saying hope all is well like you know that I'm so formal I just get to say happy new year and it's like I care right right right so I take it through January but I know that's a little bit crazy but I also start you know celebrating the holidays in October but that's just me okay well I'm glad we cleared that up I'm glad we were able to change some lives with Dear Toasters

If you've written into Dear Toasters And we've read your prompt on air Please write us in with an update You leave us hanging We give life changing advice We get emotionally invested in your situations And then we never hear from you again okay So we would like updates

Also it's 2022 Some fresh submissions Let us know what you're going through Deartoasters at gmail.motherfuckingcom. I do want to say, though, in regards to the absence of updates, no news is good news. Yes. And I hope that that means that you're all out there taking our advice, living your life in a positive way.

Okay. I love that. I agree. Yeah. But still, we just want to hear the good news. 100%. 100%. That is our show.

That's our show. That's all she wrote. We will see you tomorrow. And I hope that you love the sounds of this one. Let us know what you think. Leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are. Just an idea. Just an idea.

If it sounded nice. So we will see you. What are you going to say? No, I was going to say love ya. Oh, we'll see you tomorrow. Love ya. Love ya. Bye.