The Toast - S5 Ep42: Claudia Rockefeller: Tuesday, April 12th 2022

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

- Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Are Engaged Again (CNN) - Kardashian News - Nicola Peltz Marries Brooklyn Beckham in Valentino Wedding Dress (People) - Britney Spears Leaves Fans Confuse with Instagram Post About 'Having a Baby' - The Crown prequel in the works at Netflix (Digital Spy) - Unburden Yourselves The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Yeah. Hi I'm so excited to be back in studio with you doing our thang and we are twins today from top to bottom. No we are twins from way back like these outfits are simpatico, erotico, hypnotico. 100% we're both wearing leggings sweatshirts and air force ones but we're also wearing like sweatshirts we've never worn before. Yeah I got this sweatshirt um on tour someone gave it to me and a lot of people think it's new merch, and I just have to say it's not. I'm really sorry. And these girls came from Cleveland to Chicago.

No, it was in Chicago. And it says, today is a Cleveland day, and they got you one too, and I brought it for you. Oh, my gosh. I have actually a whole bag full of things for you, okay? Oh, my God. What's that bag? Don't ask.

First up, today is a Cleveland day crew neck from your toasters in cleveland could have really been twinning but then people would have thought it was merch thought it was new merch then i have obsessed then i have a matching onesie for harroldson i'm obsessed there you go oh my god he's gonna that. I also have another onesie for Haroldson that says, PJOM. PJOM alert. PJOM. Who? Him? Yes.

Wait, there's more. Oh, this one is my favorite. It says, my auntie is not like other girls. Oh, my God. The toasters really showed up and showed out for you. They really did. We should put this person in charge of our merch. No, it's a bunch of different people.

Like, it's not just one. Oh, okay. Because I was like. And this is probably the best one bryce's bro i thought it said bryce's bra um but it's so cute i'm sorry it says bryce's bra it says bryce's bra he could be bryce's bra and then we got a blue one that says aunt claudia i'm flat broke oh my god you don't understand like i feel like you really need these items i didn't realize babies actually wear these every day under all of their cute outfits. And I do need these.

And he's going to be wearing these every day. And they're going to spark so much joy for me. Thank you so much. There's one more item that is a personal favorite of mine. I have to shout out these toasters from Kansas City who went to TJ Maxx. And they bought you your first piece of Ray Dunn home and it is a mug that says number one mom. You guys I'm obsessed. I know. First of all. I got one too. They got me one that says Sunday Fun Day. This is a nice size mug. Huge. You love to see a big mug and we pride ourselves at the

toast. We do a big mug. We sell good mugs. Yeah we sell good mugs. I see the allure and also like who doesn't want something that says number one 100 you work so hard to be a mom and like to just be number one it's a beautiful thing so much better than number two so much better so those are all the gifts i transported cross-country for you thank you so much they are all well worth it they will all be getting used this mug will be a while because i'm not drinking coffee right because like who needs to be jittery when you're up all the fucking time so true um these thank you guys so much I absolutely love and adore yeah so cute right there's nothing better than giving a gift to someone and like them loving it and using it yeah yeah I agree not like that puzzle that I got you yeah no but

actually it was Ben's 30th birthday and I got him a PS5 and like I'm very much looking forward to him using it all the time. That's a great gift. Very difficult to track down. StockX. I overpaid majorly. Oh for sure. What's this little book stand you have going on? So many changes. So many changes at the studio. So you know I used to have this book just sitting here and like propped up and do you know how many times I've knocked it over? Like it's so annoying. So we ordered this gorgeous acrylic book stand and now it has the book standing up. You're really just like getting everything in order. Moving on up here. Yeah, no. Ever since you've been gone, you know me, I love to clean. I love to organize. The studio does look really good. Like the kitchen net. Yep. The counter where we keep snacks is clean. Jackie calls me the sweeper because like

every now and then I'll get in these moods where I just like need to sweep up the place. And I've been sweeping non-stop ever since you've been gone no it looks really good you can tell and I feel like you're having you like the sweeper news coming out since I'm not here to like shame me yeah shame me for my sweeping she goes into sweeping mode and like everything all of a sudden is in the garbage even if you were literally eating it at that current moment yeah 100 but it's good yeah it looks great here it looks great in here um how's Haroldson asking about his auntie auntie, obviously. He's so good. He's so busy. He's always asking about his auntie. Hopefully you'll come by soon.

Yeah, I would love to. Yeah, he misses you a lot. He really does love your energy, which is a surprise, you know, because it could go either way. No, actually. Your energy could be polarizing. It can, but it can only be polarizing to people who are, like, fully conscious. And I think that, like, my really, really like annoying voice. I love to sing. I actually think I'm the perfect personality for a child. Yeah.

So that doesn't shock me at all actually. Yeah. No, but I also feel like some children could get like unchky and cry and like let you know they're not here for it. But he really is here for like all of your songs. The ramps and the treetops all day long. Hopping and popping and singing that song. Oh, the little birdies on Harry Street love to hear Harry go and tweet tweet tweet. Little Harry, hey, diddly day. Little Harry, hey, diddly day. Oh, little Harry, cause you're really gonna rock tonight. Little Harry, little Harry.

That's the one. That's the one that's the song number one most requested it's just crazy how like you know I have really have a song for every child yeah like Kayler's was it was like kind of like a bohemian rhapsody moment kind of a bohemian rhapsody Miskerela, misk, miskerela, miskerela, formisk, formisk, formisk. Kind of a Bohemian Rhapsody. Similar. Similar. Heavily inspired.

Definitely. Well, you're just the singing auntie. He's doing well. How are you? How are the breasts? How's everything? Everything is good. You know, everything is chugging along.

Yeah, swell. Swole. Everything is quite swole. Good, good good good um we've got an amazing show for you guys today so much to talk about i guess i was the last person on the show yes so that's a good feeling to not feel like i have to talk about stories that you already covered um so i'm excited to talk about all the news from the long weekend that we had how was your weekend in chicago and kansas city it was incredible i'm literally broken like beyond broken when my alarm went off today about all the news from the long weekend that we had. How was your weekend in Chicago and Kansas City? It was incredible. I'm literally broken, like beyond broken. When my alarm went off today,

I'm like, there's no way that it's alarm time. It's four in the morning. But it was incredible. Like the Chicago theater was definitely a bucket list moment for me. I wish you were there. It was like the best night of my life, literally. Lauren was there. So I got to see all the girlies. Peter Krause, we came like it was kind of a star-studded affair um the show was amazing I can't lie I was unbelievable like I was really so talented so funny so unique so charismatic um and then I also went to Kansas City which really holds a special place in my heart the Kansas City Toasters like are fierce these gifts are they predominantly both it's equal it's equal otherwise I would have had a favorite yeah I know but like you have to go to

Kansas City Jackie it's what you think Cleveland is okay it is for me like I need a new sweatshirt that says it's a Kansas City day I was like landed and I was on Zillow like that's that's when you know it's good it's a gorgeous town so like so quiet but still like you know lively. Great bars. Great restaurants. Great people. Jackson Mahomes. It's great.

What about Austin? No he wasn't there. Oh well how great could it be then? And that was really like the end of the tour. I have one more show obviously. Madison Square Garden. Tickets available at girlwithnojob.com slash tour. You will be seeing the show for the first time, which is so

crazy. I know. Because last time you saw it, like, maybe 50 times. Yeah. Yeah. On the DJT. I could recite it backwards and forwards, which I do all the time. So I'm so excited to see it, to experience it, just like as a true fan, which I am. Yeah. So I'm so excited. And also

like, by then, I'm excited to be, like, out. And it's just gonna be, like, a great night. No, I know. Like, you're gonna have, you should get your glam done. I know. Yeah.. And also, like, by then, I'm excited to be, like, out. And it's just going to be, like, a great night. No, I know. Like, you're going to have, you should get your glam done. I know. Yeah. I've been, like, dreaming of getting my makeup done. You should do it.

I'm going to. But I don't, like, know any makeup artists. Your makeup artist is great. I've got a ton for you. Yeah. Yeah, you should. I feel like that's really what you need. Like, it'll make you feel so stunning.

Yeah, like, I have to get, like, a new outfit. But you look stunning today. Thank you. We both do in our matching outfits. We're just, like, so beautiful. So today is Tuesday. And we usually do Unburden Yourselves on Monday but I really wanted to do it today obviously because it's a great segment but also I did a meet and greet in Chicago at Foxtrot. For those who don't know Spritz is now available at Foxtrot in Chicago and this girl was like I wrote into Unburden Ourselves and you haven't read it yet. I'm like

I'm so sorry and she told me what it was and it was so psychotic that we had to bring it on bring the segment on on a Tuesday it was the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life can't wait yeah you guys must unburden yourselves even though it's not Monday like there's still burdens to be unburdened so true so true and I think we should jump right in because we have so many stories that like we just need to talk about and without further ado it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast. And today's episode is brought to you by Thrive Cosmetics. High performance beauty and skincare products

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Yeah, in Brooklyn. Yeah, so. Agreed. I hope everyone's okay. And just be careful. Like, everyone takes the subway. It's so scary. It's so scary and incredibly sad, but we'll keep you posted.

First story, a little mindlessness love mindlessness j-lo and ben affleck are engaged again she announced via her via her on the j-lo newsletter okay let's talk about it she and ben are engaged so let's talk about two things first of all talk about them getting married this is the second time they're engaged and then the announcement yeah so let's do different things i have so much to say on the ladder but the first is this is the second time they're engaged and then the announcement yeah so let's do different things I have so much to say on the latter but the first is this is cute very happy for them I don't really care I'm not like obsessed with this story maybe it's because when they were engaged the first time like I was so young I wasn't like my pop culture maven that I am now so I really honestly don't care I do love like the seven husbands of Jennifer Lopez like I love that for her I really do I think

they're cute the ring is pretty happy for them here the thing. I think the reason why we don't care has to do with the announcement. Because I think if there were, like, iconic photos or, like, videos going around and everyone was, like, posting them, then we would be, like, duped into caring. No. Yes, with, like, but instead. Because I haven't really cared about them the whole time, like, since they've reconnected. No, their reconnection, I agree. Like, i was too young to appreciate it um their reconnection like really is shocking the fact that they were engaged and now they're engaged again like is really fucking crazy yeah and i feel like when anytime we've gotten iconic photos from them like everyone posts them and like you see you see something a million times like you you think that you care but because there's no photos that are

just like or even of the ring it's just we have like blurry video no him on her his knee there's no photos that are just like, or even of the ring, it's just we have like blurry video. No, him on his knee. There's nothing. There's nothing. Nothing. So because everyone, not everyone is like sharing the same thing over and over again. It's like, oh, does anyone care? No, it's like a mysterious engagement.

Like there's no assets. The lack of assets, I think, is germane. The assets. It's germane to the situation. But what's even more germane is the thirst coming from JLo. I mean, I guess, okay, so she basically put a video on her Instagram and was like, I have a really big announcement. Head over to my fan page on the JLo.com, which is like her website for her fan club.

Yeah. And on the website, there was like this video basically saying she was engaged. And I just feel like, you know, this is really something like I would do, like, you know, Patreon, I have a big announcement. And the fact that JLo's doing it definitely makes me feel better about my current situation, but also it's like hella tacky. I'm like so confused. Beyond. And this is a woman with means. She doesn't need Patreon. No, she doesn't. So I'm so confused i mean unless like you know her next big foray is into the newsletter service right and she wants to start as many clicks and subscribers but this is really that's the most shocking part not that

benefit are engaged again but she's announcing via her website like it's it like it's giving reality star someone that i follow i forget who because i wish i could credit them said it's giving joju dice like yeah like big shocking thing go to the link in my bio to watch literally okay so i found out via a people magazine notification i'm like oh my god so cute ran to jlo's instagram and i see this like twisted video of her on the jlo.com and i was like what the fuck is this like what is going on I was never in my life have I been more confused yeah me too I saw that you posted that they were engaged so I went to her page and it was a blurry video he's like I guess she hasn't shared yet right and like I guess it was a PR like publicist announcement and even still like I have yet to

see a photo of them like together ring. The ring is green. Yeah. Or is it just the blurry video? Right. Is it like a reflection? I don't know. There's so little that we know. And they have been like so public this whole time.

It's such a weird announcement. It is. It's really weird. But let's talk about them being engaged again. And what's funny is like People Magazine is saying like they didn't want to rush the engagement because they want to make it work. Like I feel like they just got back together. Yeah. This isn't not rush. It's not rush. It's like not rush like a year right no I think it's less no yeah

yeah but that's crazy I mean I like love that this is JLo's thing like she just bops from engagement to engagement she collects these like stunning enormous rings from these wealthy men love that for her um I don't know if this is going to be the one, you know. I hope that it is. I always hope that it is. Yeah. For everyone. Yeah, of course. Bless you.

So I don't know. Like, I don't know the truth. But I think it's cute. I'm reticent to be excited because I was burned by A-Rod. Oh, my God. I'm not okay. Bless you. So I was, like, really on board my ship for her and a rod i thought they

were the perfect couple um and then they turned out to be quite the opposite so i don't just want to get excited yeah but i do think that if she's going like you know it takes a lot to get back with someone who really publicly rejected you and so i think that like the fact that they're all in again it has to be real I mean yes but I don't know I could see this not working out for sure I guess anything could happen right because I thought in no way shape or form are her and A-Rod ever going to break up like I thought they were the perfect couple I couldn't have picked two people more perfect for each other and then like not only did they not work out it was like the most chaotic disgusting mess like he really embarrassed her he was like acting a fool like I never thought so I don't know what to think when it comes to JLo honestly and part of me wants this to not be her last

engagement because I love this for her you know yeah did you watch watch what happens live last night no I did Maya and Lala Kent and I just have to say it was such a good episode the two of them were so classy Maya from Summer House Maya from Summer House and to say it was such a good episode. The two of them were so classy. Maya from Summer House. Maya from Summer House. And it was just so good. I can't even tell you. Plus, they're both Bravo fans. So they were just talking about like all Bravo shows. And Andy asked Lala, like, you know, you're on Watch What Happens Live. A lot of people watch, like, do you want to manifest like, you know, going out with anyone? Like when JLo was here, she was talking about A-Rod. And of course, that didn't work out. But it's crazy that their

relationship started and ended on Bravo. Totally. Yeah. and lala had such a good answer she was like i would say you andy but you're not into this oh my god did you see andy cohen's instagram stories from like two nights ago no he was in the back of a car and he was like i was just standing on sixth avenue could not find a cab i'm so late and like two bravo fans like picked him up it was like a married couple the girl in the front seat was so pregnant. Her husband was in the other, the driver, the driver's seat. And he was in the back and they were taking him uptown. And it was so funny.

Now I want to get a car and like peruse the West Village, like looking for Andy. That is really funny. Andy's never gonna have to take another cab again. No, but now he can't do it again because now he knows people like you are coming. Yeah. Who are like looking for a show. And looking for a job. Who are gonna pitch him. Yeah. The whole way. for a show. And looking for a job. Who are going to pitch him.

Yeah. The whole way. Hey, Andy, I've got this great morning show for you. I mean, Bravo really does need a morning show, but. Yeah. Even though morning shows are like flailing left, right, and center. The Real has. Not this one.

Not this one. Not yet. The Morning. The Real has been canceled. But that's an afternoon show. Is it? I think so. It's like daytime.

Yeah. Morning for us. Morning for us. Right. Depends who you are. And then another show. Shadows of Sunset was also canceled. Yeah. That is a huge blow for people like me.

Like I'm devastated. I don't understand why it was canceled though. Like is it the ratings? Is it the cast not wanting to do it anymore? First of all, the cast is obsessed with the show. Right. And there's so much offline drama. I mean Mike Shoehead was arrested for domestic violence

literally last week. So there's stuff going on. I don't know. I don't know what the reason was. I do believe they have pretty strong ratings. So I was really, really shocked by this.

I'm so upset. Like, I could talk about my love for Shaws of Sunset. Your cans look sick. I just love that show more than life. You look like a piece of wood. Like so good.

And I'm devastated. That was really one of my favorite shows of all time. I'm sorry. And you know what? I'm glad that we, you know, on this show got to interview Reza, MJ, like the two favorites. We had Gigi on. I'm glad that like I got my pound of flesh. We had- Shervin. that like I got my pound of flesh we had um Shervin Shervin Swervin Shervin we did like we did good but I'm heartbroken like it's so good I'm sorry and I never got to have um destiny on like so many people like just know and the Shaz of Sunset fandom is small but mighty and just know I stand with you. Thank you.

That's beautiful, Claudia. Thank you. Claudia, that's beautiful. So back to JLo and Ben. Overall thoughts. Weird announcement. I think it takes away from the engagement. The specialness.

Yeah. But maybe they wanted it to be low-key and get subscribers for the newsletter. Right. Okay. Can we go to OnTheJLo.com? What is required? I actually have never even been there. Oh, okay. That's it. It's extremely promotional. go to on the jlo.com like what is required i actually have never even been there oh okay

that's it it's extremely promotional it looks like a like a like a real newsletter oh i thought that was like a 404 page not found no no no oh it's like a subway okay so i put my email in well you're about to sign up if you put your email yeah except sign up welcome to my inner circle you're all signed up an email has been sent to block check your email for regular updates so does that mean i don't get the update now oh so it's just a newsletter yeah and you'll get access to new special experiences exclusive content and more okay so i gotta unsubscribe sorry like i didn't realize i thought i would get put my email in and get like a whole website no so it's not patreon it's not patreon it's like not Patreon. It's like Substack. Damn.

It's like Substack. Yeah. Okay. I got to unsubscribe. I'll do that later. Anyways. Sorry. We just have some breaking news.

Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson went on a double date with Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez. Okay. So we're going to skip to the next story, which is everything Kardashian. We're putting them all in one story. We heard some of your complaints. We heard some of your complaints. We heard some of your cries, but it's not reasonable. I'm sorry, because they're doing the most press they've ever done in their lives. They're giving us all of these juicy tidbits.

Everyone is more relevant than ever. We could literally have chosen 10 Kardashian stories today. And I'm not going to apologize. But we'll just do one big blog. Because they're the most interesting women on the planet. Most interesting to look at, for sure. So let's start with the premiere which was Thursday night the premiere of the Kardashians everyone showed up and showed out except for Kendall and arguably maybe not Kylie. Yeah Kylie like was photographed well after everyone else was a lot of people thought like maybe she had

like a step and repeat in her living room because she wasn't photographed with anyone like the family photo was Kris, Kourtney, Khloe and Kim. Yeah and like no one she wasn't in any Getty images she's not in the background of anything so people think like she either faked going or she like took all her separate photos so that she could do with them what she wanted but she was there. Yeah I don't know why Kendall wasn't there. Kendall is sick. Oh okay there's just been like a lot of press Kylie's been missing she wasn't on Kimmel. Right. But then they did do this big Access Hollywood thing,

which I thought was like the best interview that I'd seen. Who was the interviewer? I think the person was behind the stage. Yeah. I mean, behind the camera, but I think it was Kit Hoover, who when we were on Access Hollywood, is the nicest woman ever. I think it was her. And I believe her daughters are toasters. I just want to put that out there. But she was asking the pertinent questions. I think it was her. Okay. And I believe her daughters are toasters. Like, just want to put that out there.

But she was asking the pertinent questions to the, she had all of them. Yeah. And of course the question that she asked that everyone wants to know was like, what's up with the name of your baby, Kylie? Right. And I think Kylie gave such a reasonable response. She was like, you don't understand. Like, they don't, at the hospital, you have 10 days to sign the birth certificate.

So you're rushed. And she has a couple names. She doesn't know what she's going to end up with. But she doesn't want to say it because she might change her mind again yeah and all the sisters were like it is the hardest thing in the world that's what i've been saying yeah it is that's what i've been saying it's the hardest thing ever to name a human being yeah and that's what they were saying and i'm glad to know that like kylie still doesn't have a name it's not that she's withholding from us like right she still hasn't decided because also now she's bought herself

some time like try out a few different names this This week, maybe it'll be Haroldson. Right. Next week, it could be. Little Harry. A. Yeah. Skittley Day. Next week, it could be Valentine.

Like, you know. Yeah. You never know. I really appreciated the. The. Candidness. Yeah. The Candicity.

Candicity. And. The Candicension. Also, True had her birthday. And on the gift bags it said baby webster so they're not like hiding hiding anything from us and they've been so open this week yes that i really just don't feel like even when allegedly kit perhaps potentially we don't know who was asked the question of like who's gonna have like as much kids as chris like courtney said that she

wants two more kim raised her thing which means that she's gonna wants to have more kids like we're just getting so much information now back to the premiere something that was bothering me about myself after the episode that we did on Thursday was like we were like Kylie was at the basketball game but she wasn't on Kimmel like Kylie's a new mom and like I just can't believe I wasn't understanding that like sometimes you can go to a basketball game but you can't also do Kimmel I completely agree and that's with all this press stuff I feel like she's at maybe like half of it yeah but she has a new baby at home yeah yeah like imagine you're promoting the biggest show like this is a really like the biggest thing that your family's doing but like

you've got Haroldson at home like she's doing as much as she can of course of course of course you know of course and I feel like I wasn't sympathetic towards that when I'm literally in the exact same position so So you're apologizing. I'm apologizing. Yeah. I am apologizing to Kylie because I know she was listening. Yeah. A hundred percent.

The premiere was everything of the sort. Pete was there. They did not walk the carpet together, but we did get a bunch of pictures of them holding hands like backstage. And then Kim posted yesterday because you know Kim loves to post like delayed. She doesn't post in real time. She posted like pictures of them getting dinner afterwards. delayed she doesn't post in real time um she posted like pictures of them getting dinner afterwards two pictures a carousel both like the same setup but just like different faces

um i was taking in every ounce of this picture like first of all the diet coke stunning like i was just bereft the plates like i think kim's plate had a crust on it um there was also um it looked like they were done eating, but there was like a full salad in the middle that had him in touch, which I just thought was funny. Relatable. Yeah, it's like if you're at a pizza place, like why are you ordering a salad? Yeah, no, the meal looked delicious.

She posted the meal on her story like when she was there and it just looked. Did she say what restaurant it was? No, but we got to go. I was like just guessing. I think it's John and Vinny's, but that's just me being like so, it is, okay. I just want to say, I didn't even see that anywhere. I was just like doing guest work. Investigative work. Okay well whenever the next time we're in LA is we have to

go there. We have to sit at the table. It looked phenomenal. So she posted pictures of them like being lovey and cute and like they're full steam ahead and like now she's talking about him in press. She's not even being coy. He was at at the red carpet they didn't give us the photo moment which was fine because like it was cute to see them behind the scenes and like him just being really supportive um she was asked by someone about the Met yes I was just gonna say that and she said something so interesting like she'll go if the dress fits right like the dress can't be altered the dress can't be altered so she won't know until like a week before if she's able to go because if she doesn't fit into the dress she's not going there's no way she's not going isn't she on the committee this year I won't know until like a week before if she's able to go. Because if she doesn't fit into the dress, she's not going. There's no way she's not going.

Isn't she on the committee this year? I don't know. And also I saw yesterday that the theme this year again is like America Legion lexicon, whatever. Right. America's steamy lexicon. Yeah, right. Right. But with a focus on the Gilded Age.

So I'm actually really excited. Stunning. Yeah, stunning. So who knows what Kim's gonna be wearing but she better be there and she better be with Pete especially since we've also recently learned that the first time that they like sort of connected was at the Met Gala this year yeah so on the Not Skidding But Not Fat podcast she told the story of like he basically was like they hadn't announced that she was gonna be on SNL yet like to the public but everyone who works at SNL

knew and they were talking about at the Met Gala and he was like well if you need like any help or anything like take my number but she was wearing you know that outfit that that her hands were in gloves and she's like oh sorry like I can't use my phone right now because my fingers don't work and he was like okay that's fine and then walked away and she was like no wait but like you take my phone number and he didn't hear and just like they never connected and they didn't even really like connect at SNL he didn't come to the after party for her ever she said literally everyone came even Rami Malek who was hosting next week yeah everyone came except for Pete um and they didn't connect until later right and we'll find out how they connected on the show she wasn't ready to share that with us plus there has

to be like something for us that's like new information there's also apparently like a lot that happens that we don't know about like I remember when Kanye was like you know posting a lot on social media he was talking about like a sex tape a second sex tape with Ray J and that's apparently what happens in the first episode and that's burn them to the ground yes got it yes okay very exciting that the show premieres on the 14th at midnight though so like the 13th so is that tonight what's today's date today's the 12th okay so tomorrow at midnight oh my god i'll have to stay up yeah i'm so excited yeah so i think that's everything all of the new information that they've shared with us yes i think so too and all the press that they've done

and and went on a double date with lauren sanchez and jeff bezos and like, it sounds random, but obviously there's a connection between Pete Davidson and Jeff Bezos because he was going to go on Blue Origin, but last minute had to, like, change, I think, scheduling conflict. So obviously, like, they're friends. Interesting. I'm, like, not, I don't know why I'm, like, not here for it. I wish it was Elon and Grimes. No, I'm not here for it at all. Like, Kim and Pete, to me, like, are so interesting.

And you have to, to like level up with your double dates like me and Ben would be perfect like just perfect perfect perfect yeah so you're saying that Jeff Bezos and Lorna are stepped down for them yeah okay yeah yeah I'm saying okay yeah I think I said what I said everyone would agree a hundred but that's cute that they're double dating yeah and whatnot yeah I just feel like someone else yeah I'm really looking forward to seeing like this side of Pete that like clearly everyone sees and knows and loves and we're not really privy to all the time yeah another thing about the premiere is that Courtney walked blended family style with only rain from her family and

then Alabama Landon and And the older one. Whose name I can't remember. It was a blended moment. Very Drew Barrymore. Adam Sandler. You love to see it. You do. You do.

And then Kim went on. Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast. Today. I listened this morning. Me too. She was talking about SNL. She was talking about Kanye. She's just so mature.

And so. Always. Always. Like it's so admirable. I can't. Like, and Amanda was like, but like, doesn't that annoy you? And she's like, no, no it didn't. Yeah.

So honestly, in so many ways, I don't relate to Kim. Right. But I'm sure it's easy to be so mature and take the high road when she's so happy. Yeah. You know, and she'll do whatever she needs to do to keep it cool over there. And she can enjoy this season of her life that's true you know that's true yeah i feel that um so that concludes our kardashian segment we will you never know if we're going to circle back to them you never know all roads do lead back and

that's not our fault hundred percent hundred percent hundred percent next story a little more love news that claudia and I are just like fucking quaking over. Nicola Peltz married Brooklyn Beckham. Nicola. Nicola. Sorry. I guess I'm not that quaky. Quakio. I'm obsessed. Like someone has to seriously take me to the hospital. The way I would take a bullet for these two people and like. And their Jewish wedding ceremony. I know. And a week ago, like I couldn't, like I wasn't even clear on what was going on. Obsessed to the nth degree. Here's why I'm so okay so okay so here's the details nicola peltz you might know her as nicola n peltz on instagram right married

brooklyn beckham um in palm beach she's wearing valentino she's giving claudia schiffer claudia schiffer then reposted so excited to be the inspo brooklyn beckham obviously as you know is the son son of victoria beckham andham and David Beckham and Nicola is the daughter of a billionaire um so raise your hand if you followed Nicola Peltz on Instagram this week oh I don't think I did yet but I'm so close because I've been to her page now like four times it's so fucking premium looking for new pictures it's so premium I watch her story like everything let me tell you why I'm so obsessed with this wedding first of all the fact that she's Jewish second search just follow her it's pretty followed it's done um here's why i'm

obsessed first of all and i didn't even know but the fact that she had brooklyn beckham beckham wearing a yarmulke because she is jewish and they were married by a rabbi like that just makes my heart flutter i never in my life saw someone so fucking beautiful in my life. This dress, so simple, but so complicated. Like the gloves, the hair. And when she said Claudia Schiffer was her hair inspiration, I saw it. Everything was just top, top, top tier. Her house.

It was at her house, her father's house. $100 million house in Palm Beach. Obsessed. Gotta get me one of those. Need more pictures. Like I will die like I just need more pictures so many celebs were there Eva Longoria Tommy Hilfiger and that's the most iconic part the wedding was just like so filled with celebrities that like the one picture they sold to Vogue is like the main photo for the exclusive who's in the background Tommy Hilfiger like that's just how I see how elegant you see it there he is

that's just how elegant they are like there were so many like famous rich people they just couldn't help but get one in the background you know yeah iconic so iconic I so we like they've been around for a while and they like are you know very cute and very very into each other very publicly into each other but they're like a little bit younger than us so we were not really dabbling and what's interesting is that Brooklyn Beckham is 23 Nicola Peltz is 27 oh that is interesting so just unique unique factors things we need to know about just like so mature but I feel like for me I found it like a warm place for them when they went to the Met Gala last year and like they looked aces yeah and I actually feel like her Met Gala look like kind of

resembles her wedding look I feel like she was like this suits suits me. It was, you know, like a classic silhouette and gloves. And they just like looked so darling. Yeah. And there's just like, there's just something so like it about this. I.T. She's an it girl. This wedding was the it of the century. And you might not know her because her Instagram bio is like actor, director, producer.

Love you dearly. Just stunner. Yeah. Never heard of any of your work. Let me IMDB. She's like a, she is where she is because she's the daughter of a billionaire. And you know what? That doesn't even bother me.

Like get it. Get more opportunities. Like I love it. I love it. No, I want to see her more like clearly. Also, do you remember? Because this was always my, like now my association with her will be like this, it, period. But do you remember when like Bella Thorne was like talking about like, she was cryptically

talking about like a mean girl in Hollywood. Yes. Oh my God. Yes. And it was Nicola. Pretty sure. That's so funny that that's your association. That was my association up until this weekend.

Here's. Okay. My association was she used to date. Ex-boyfriend. Hold on. I think she used to date Alex Pettifer. Do you remember him? Yes.

Did they date Alex? He's in so many of my favorite movies. Pettifer. Yeah. Like bad movies. Did they they ever date I agree to disagree maybe they were that doesn't ring a bell to me that doesn't ring a bell they were in a movie together so it's like hard to find any I thought that that's like my association I don't know why no my association was like this Bella Thorne cryptic thing where

she was like I know exactly what you're talking about a mean girl in Hollywood um who was like bullying her and stuff and so like I guess up until this weekend I just had like kind of a negative association but now I don't I don't think so no I just need more photos like thank god to the Daily Mail for doing the lord's work with like the blurry drone footages they had three enormous tents in her backyard like one for ceremony one for reception maybe one for after party or cocktail hour it was so beautifully done like so elegant and these pictures it's just insane she looks like she's in like a grand country club and it's literally her house stunning I think also she might have dated Greg Sulkin stop because I'm googling it and like they were in a movie together

and I was also just like having that association and that would make sense why Bella like oh right I don't know unique yeah yeah yeah we'll have to ask Lauren Elizabeth yeah yeah she'll know everything um so I'm just obsessed with this like I need more photos I cannot consume enough content so happy for them and then the Victoria and David of it all like just it's too much like did you see like the next morning nicola and brooklyn and then david and victoria like went to brunch in matching blue convertibles like vintage convertibles driving around palm beach like the paparazzi pictures it was so rich it was too much no it's too much and they say we don't have royalty here this is this very much feels like a royal wedding honestly yeah and like how the exclusive was with british vogue just like very elevated very elegant not like other weddings no there was

something incredibly special about it in addition to the fact that it was a jewish wedding oh i know like you just love to see and i had myself wondering if i was like oh yeah david beckham i never i didn't think for one second it was her oh and the most interesting thing about all of this is like okay you know you know, when we hear these two, obviously we've heard of Brooklyn Beckham, I think a little bit more than we've heard of Nicola Peltz. And Brooklyn Beckham was the one who had to sign a prenup because she's, and like his family's worth 500 million, a measly 500 million.

Her dad, Nicola's dad is like so rich. She had to give him a prenup. Yeah. And also he's taking her last name. They're the Peltz Beckhams. Well, okay. That's interesting. Yeah. So his. Victoria's Captain. Yes. Okay. had to give him a prenup yeah and also he's taking her last name they're the pelts beckhams well okay that's interesting yeah so his i victoria's captain okay so nicola only thing yeah i know because it looks like the perfect wedding but you know what even rich people have crazy in-law

problems because basically everyone's been talking about how like they're so modern they're so progressive like he respects women because he is now brooklyn pelts beckham she is nicola pelts beckham and her Instagram when she announced the wedding was Mr. and Mrs. Pelts Beckham so they're doing like a hyphen middle name thing and everyone has been referring to them as Pelts Beckham Pelts Beckham Pelts Beckham then Victoria Beckham posted on Instagram from the wedding and was like Mr. and Mrs. Beckham so maybe it was just an oversight maybe one someone on her team it was the only thing that like wasn't a little crack in the in the surface yeah there's something something totally and also just the concept when I also

everything is so misleading because all the headlines are like Brooklyn's taking her last name I'm like okay so he's Brooklyn Peltz right he's not he's not they're like combining which I actually love because I feel like even in our family will be like oh the Asher Shapiro's like it's just it works you can't do it forever because then everyone would have like two last names four last names yeah so it's like squared like two four sixteen thirty six yeah yeah i know we do that too like the astray shapiros the astray soffers a hundred percent yeah but um and also like this is maybe me just being like such an independent female like i like don't subscribe to the changing of names like i used when i like was younger i'm gonna get married i'm gonna be like you know claudia rockefeller and now i'm like first of all logistically there's no fucking way

i'm filling out all that paperwork are you okay it's so funny there's no way i'm filling out all that paperwork and also like it's my fucking name like you're kidding me like i have to change my name that's like just asking a lot like i'm not doing it no it's a lot and then just wait till you are pregnant and birth a child and it's like what why it's like i did this so you get this fucker's last name right right it's so it's so crazy and i agree when i was like before i I was in it, I was like, yeah, of course, like changing. And you don't want to be like someone who's like, how sweet, who's so stubborn about it. But now it's just like, also for me, like being Jackie O, unless I married someone last name O, you should have, yeah, married your cousin. Then, then I'm not gonna

necessarily change it. Right. It's even harder when you're building a brand. It's even harder when you're building a brand. Look at KKW. Right. Exactly. And that's just what we need. Another rebrand. Right. No. It's really like. It's crazy. I'm so here for what they're doing.

It's not for everyone. And as we've stated. Like the ex-con is. Victoria obviously doesn't subscribe to it either. Yeah. But the here and now. It's really quite beautiful. So I'm so glad we got to talk about this wedding.

Because obsessed doesn't even begin. I'm like scraping the bottom of the barrel for content. Like, and like a couple of people I follow on Instagram were there and I'm just like, send me pics. Really? Yeah. Exciting.

So good. So before we move on, I just want to let everyone know that today's episode is brought to you by Curology. Curology is a game changing custom skincare made for you by a dermatology provider. They'll create custom prescription cream for you by a dermatology provider. They'll create custom prescription cream for your specific goals, whether that's tackling acne, clogged pores, skin texture, dark spots, fine lines, or even something else. You'll start by taking a short online quiz and uploading photos, and if it's a good fit, they'll ship you your formula right to your door. It even has your name on the bottle. There's really no reason why all

of us should be using the exact same skincare. We all have such different needs. Like for me, I have really dry skin, especially in the winter. A lot of people struggle with fine lines or dark spots. So we should all be really using different things that work best for our skin. And I found a lot of really, really positive experiences with Curology. I bring it with me on tour. The moisturizer is amazing. And I really like taking the quiz because it was teaching me things about my skin like I didn't even know, just like asking really specific questions and then getting some really up close and frankly heinous photos of my skin so they can really like make sure they're giving you the exact right products that you need. Get started with

Curology just like I did and a free 30-day trial at curology.com slash toast. Just pay $5 for shipping and handling. That's C-U-R-O-L-O-G-Y.com slash toast to start your free 30-day trial. You can cancel anytime and your prescription is subject to consultation. Check out Curology. You won't regret it. It's a fabulous experience and your skin will thank you. Thank you, Claudia. It's a pleasure. Our next story, Britney Spears is leaving fans confused with an instagram post about quote having a baby so britney spears posted to instagram letting us know that she was pregnant question mark or is it a food baby we're not sure she said i lost so much weight to go on my maui trip only to gain it back i thought geez what happened to my stomach my

husband said no you're food pregnant silly silly. So I got a pregnancy test. And oh, well, I am having a baby. Four days later, I got a little more food pregnant. It's growing. If two are in there, I might just lose it. I obviously won't be going out as much due to the paps getting their money shots of me like they unfortunately already have. It's hard because when I was pregnant, I had perinatal depression.

She also talks about her experience with depression. And she's glad that more people are talking about it now. But here's the thing. She just said I'm pregnant with a baby. I'm having she said quote. No I don't think she's pregnant. But she said oh well It sounds like a really bad joke like about

a food baby that she like took the joke a little too far. Oh you think so? I don't think she's pregnant. She said I am having a baby. Quote. But what about the context around the sentence no but like that was just like the way to how she discovered she was pregnant like she was a little belly is it a food no then she said four days later she had another food baby because she had babies growing I don't I just want to I don't I think she's not pregnant um I'm just like she just told she's pregnant where she told she's having a baby so like why

don't we just believe her no I know it's like ever when I was looking for the stories it was like I just searched Britney Spears and I was like fans are confused Britney leaves fans wondering when it sounds like she was pretty clear but even me I don't think she's pregnant yeah no I I even though she said so this could be confusing maybe it was a joke that she got twisted I don't know yeah but her Instagram captions are just very difficult to decipher yeah yeah it's a hard way to keep up with her she did also refer to Sam as her husband which was shocking was that new news yeah they're engaged is that true even sometimes like I feel like I've called every Kylie and Travis like we're calling each other wife and husband I don't know I call everyone like someone's husband like once you've

been dating for a long agreed agreed so I don't know I don't know. I call everyone like someone's husband, like once you've been dating for a long time. Agreed. Agreed. So I don't know. I don't know what to take from this. I'm still waiting for like the Britney sit down, the Britney book. And it was reported that Britney has started a memoir, as predicted by me. Hopefully it's less confusing than these captions.

No, I know. I do believe like every celebrity, she'll need to work with a writer because- And make it Jessica Simpson's ghostwriter. Yeah. Because Britney is a lot of things, but she's not really concise. And the book will be 2,000 pages unless she works with a writer. Yeah. With like a lot of emojis.

I was going to say no emojis. Yeah. So I don't think she's pregnant. I just want to go on the record and say. Okay. But she said that she's having a baby. Do you think she's pregnant? But it could be a food baby.

No, I don't. You don't either. Okay. Yeah. No, I don't. You don't either. Okay, yeah, no, I don't. I don't know, honestly. I mean, like, she's... I'm not the Britney expert. I feel like she's definitely having a lot of sex.

Mm-hmm. She's going on all these trips, romantic trips. She's free. She's celebrating. She says that she has said that she wants more kids. Yeah, and she...

Right. But I don't know. I'm still not seeing it. But we just, like, still don't... I'm not seeing it. It's right in front of us, but still no. I'm not seeing it. Okay. Are you ready of us, but still no. I'm not seeing it.

Okay. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Which is a story that is so dear to my heart. And I have a lot of thoughts. And Claudia has a song that she's going to lead us in with. Turn your volume down for anyone with a sleeping baby, which now I am sympathetic. I really am. So let's give them from five.

I'm going to move the microphone away. Four, three, two, one. It's the final story it's the final story please adopt me me and that's a magic number Nicola Peltz and Brooklyn Beckham Please adopt me And that's a magic number Okay, our fifth and final story

A little exciting historical content news The Crown prequel is in the works at Netflix Thank God, because every time they refuse to prolong the show They're like, nope, this is the final season, final season Even though we're obsessed So, thank God Thank God and i can't remember if i said it on this show but i don't think that i did otherwise like more people would be tagging me in this but you know i'm obsessed with the show victoria it's only had three seasons oh and by the way because i've been traveling so much this month i have made so i'm on season two now like i've made so much progress it's so good

it's so good so it's been good. So it's been three seasons and it's unclear if it's coming back for season four. I actually like recently right and by the way I saw it on like a Facebook comment

on like a fan page for the show Victoria from just like someone who said that they're waiting longer for Jenna Coleman to age more. Get older.

Right. So that they don't have to do too much makeup but like how much is she going to age? What are we going to wait? 10 years? 20 years?

No I know and she's like an actress in Hollywood so she's probably not loving this like being forced to age when she wants to preventatively just get the Botox but really like it was a rumor started by like a fan in the British countryside so like don't don't say but I thought it was I thought he had an interesting take on the situation anyways it's been three seasons it doesn't feel like season four is coming and I actually actually said to someone, whoever it was, please show yourself so I don't look like I'm making this up. I said that the Crown show should absorb this

and make it the Crown prequel. Well, what year is Victoria? Victoria starts in like the 1860s. No, no, no, the 1840s and 50s. And then the Crown. Okay, so this pre. The 1840s and 50s. And then the crown. And this show, okay, so this prequel is speculated that it will kick off with the death of Queen Victoria in 1901. Got it.

Spoiler alert, Queen Victoria dies. Spoiler alert. But like, why not back it up a little bit? Give us Victoria. She's a literal queen and she's so fascinating. Right, legendary. She's so fascinating. Yeah. You guys have to watch Victoria. Like, if you take nothing else away from the show, watch Victoria. She's so fascinating. Yeah. You guys have to watch Victoria. Like if you take nothing else away from the show, watch Victoria.

It's really good. I watch it too. And if Claudia likes it. Yeah. It took me like a second to get into it. I'm not going to lie. But yeah. It takes a second because you're like, this is a really long time ago.

Yeah. Right. Right. You know. And like the thing with Downton Abbey that I liked so much, it was like really like the turn of the century. Like, you know, from the beginning to the end, like much had happened so many inventions they got electricity like. No it's really about them like embracing modernity and you can like see how much the world changed in those

20 years roughly more innovation and technological advances than like we've experienced in our lifetime. Exactly so like with Victoria it's so victoria that happens in victoria too like the train oh the train gas lighting the steam train yeah the train oh my god don't you just love albert i don't actually really yeah he's like such an innovator he's actually you're gonna start to hate him more and also like this is gonna be really mean but like he's kind of ugly like vict, Victoria is so much prettier. You know that they dated in real life. No, the actresses? The actors.

And, like, while they were filming, they were dating. I just think the show makes him look ugly, like, with his big sideburns and his, like, hair. It's just not the vibe. Well, I'm sure. I'm sure he's very handsome in real life. Yeah, but I also think that they had to, like, these are stunning actors. And I don't think the real people were that stunning as stunning but you know what i don't mind them taking a little creative liberty i love a

glamatization of history yeah and it's really on the nose of what happened yeah anyways keep watching i will keep me updated on your thoughts i will but crown people you know what for fans of victoria then the crown prequel will tackle a different era. And I'm here for that as well. Me too. I'm just happy we're getting more Crown content. Because the Crown is literally one of the best shows ever made. And for some reason, I mean, I know, I understand why. Like, they're reaching a point in history that's kind of close to current events.

Yeah, no. And there would just be like too many enemies. There's too many cooks in the kitchen. Opinions. Who knows what happened? History hasn't been written yet. Right. I think like Diana is really like the last thing we can consider like history.

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. They don't want to make enemies with people who are living. Like I can get that even though like the queen is still alive. But it is quite favorable towards the queen. So I'm just grateful we're getting more content because it's so well done. It's, I think, very accurate. And it's just a gorgeous show.

So any news that we're getting more content is great news for me. Yeah. I'm really excited. Especially because like post-Victoria, like I'm familiar with how things unravel after that, but I can never like fully remember it. So this will have it seared into my brain. Yeah. I love it.

And I love you. And I love the toasters who are going to unburden themselves for us in the next segment. So unburden ourselves. Is it unburden yourselves? Yourselves. We really need to work on the branding.

It's yourselves. So unburden yourselves is a segment we started here where you guys can write in to unburdenyourselves at gmail.com. If there's something that's weighing on you,

like something really embarrassing you did over the weekend that you just want to unburden, do write in. We have really good ones today and it's brought to you by Solo Stove. Upgrade your backyard with a Solo Stove fire pit. It's the perfect catalyst for getting outside and spending more time with family and friends. Build lasting memories around a Solo Stove fire pit and that season is upon us. You know, there's like a little chill in the air.

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I got pretty drunk, which wasn't a big deal because all the co-workers were there, and I told my fiancé that we should go to the bathroom. Okay, at least she has a fiancé. I thought she was like, you know, like now you have to find someone. Right, that's what I thought too. He politely declined as any sane person would in that moment, and in my drunken state, I decided that I needed to do something to entice him.

So while we were at the table eating dinner I took out my boob, just one boob. My co-worker next to me quickly realized I had my tit out, exclaimed and helped me get back in my dress. Honestly I'm not sure if that's the worst part. After dancing for a while a group of us went outside to cool off. I again tried to get my fiance to come with me in the bathroom and he again declined. My counter offer this time was with me in the bathroom, and he again declined. My counteroffer this time was that I would lick his balls. When he declined again, I started asking all of my male co-workers and the female co-workers' husbands if they'd rather sit outside or get their balls licked. I could cry.

When my fiancé and I were recapping this the next day, he reminded me that I took out the boob with the pierced nipple, to which I replied, well, why would I take out the nipple that isn't pierced? His logical response, why would you take out either of your boobs? I think I need to stop drinking with my coworkers, lol. You know what? I kind of agree. Like, this story is funny, and it's only, like, kind of bad because you're with people you work with. Yes.

So I just think, like, you sound like a great time. You do. Like, got a party with you. You do, but you could take it down one or two notches I mean asking your female co-workers husbands if they'd rather sit outside or get their balls that to me that's where she really crosses the line right other people's husbands assuming you're at a table there's other males there and you have your breast out like that would also bother me but like to be the girl who's like you know it's a little pick me to be like would you

rather yeah yeah no I'd rather sit outside. No, you have to stop drinking with your coworkers. Absolutely. But I kind of want to know what your fiance's take was on all this. Because it sounds like he was like thinking it was funny. And like, that makes me love him that he's not like. Right. But it sounds like it's just another day with you.

Right. You sound awesome. You do sound awesome. And I don't want to kill your spirit whatsoever. But the coworkers is what makes it a problem. Yeah. But you know what? What you do outside the office it doesn't matter the thing

is then you have to answer for it inside the office and then people are looking at you and and you spend so much time at work right you try not to make your time at work like more difficult than it needs to be but it sounds like you're not someone who's concerned with what other people think you are like a walking HR violation but I love that but it was outside the office. Right, doesn't count. It doesn't count, does it? I don't know.

I don't think it does. I don't think so. I don't think it does. That would be weird if like HR was monitoring what you do in the real world. Like that would be like dictatorship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so if it's not bothering you,

the only thing I would like sort of reprimand you for is like the coworker element. Yes, agree. Like I would like sort of reprimand you for is like the co-worker element. Yes, agree. Like do this with your friends from college, you know? Yeah, but it sounds like, I mean, maybe the co-workers, you just have this like good drinking culture or something. But in general, like certain like work cultures outside of like the workplace, people who are like really close and they get really wasted. It can be really toxic. Yeah, no.

really close and they get really wasted it can be really toxic yeah no my advice to anyone in general i think it's just like good advice is just like not to really get drunk at work events around work people but that's also because like i'm a deeply awkward person and any like i can barely like answer for myself yeah in a corporate situation let alone drunk me yeah i can't answer for her yeah oh my god i would have to i I would leave. Yeah. I miss her. Yeah. No. Miss her definitely. She'll be back, but not in any sort of corporate environment. I mean, do you often hang out in corporate environments?

No, no, not anymore. But if and when I, when I did, you know, like a holiday party, two drink maximum. I agree. Have Patty Stanger on your shoulder. Agree. You will thank me. All right. Next up.

Ladies, I'm currently visiting my husband's extended family for his cousin's wedding, and I met a lot of his relatives for the first time here today. We spent the day with his cousins and- She's writing day up. Yeah, she's desperate. We spent the day with his cousins and uncles, and I was so happy with how everything went until I was changing out of my dress at the end of the night, and I saw a large period stain on my dress.

It was light spotting, and I was wearing dark underwear, so I didn't notice when I went to the bathroom earlier in the day, but my white and blue gingham dress showed every little mark. I immediately asked my husband and he said, yeah, I saw it earlier but thought it wasn't a big deal and there was nothing you could do about it, so it wasn't worth telling you and making you anxious about it for the rest of the day.

He also said all his cousins are guys and wouldn't know what it was. Are you fucking kidding me? I of course let him know this was such a fucking asshole move and to immediately tell me the second he saw something next time i know this is silly but is there anything more humiliating than a period stain it was so obvious and there's no way it went unnoticed the entire trip has now been stained with this incident i'm now that girl that got her period on her dress i want to evacuate the country before i even go to the wedding this weekend fml i want to say i do think your husband's heart was in the right place but like boys are just morons like you could have tied something around your waist right and you

could have went to the bathroom gotten the stain out and then like put toilet paper in your underwear like there was a million things you could have done a million things you could do but i do think like this is him not being an asshole just being like so dumb like of course but with the with the purest of hearts of course but you have to live with the fact that like you thought you were making this amazing impression on everyone and it's like the whole time you had food in your teeth you know but i want to give you an alternate perspective to think of they should this is her boyfriend she was meeting a family for the first time right so look at you you are just you have your period like you're so fertile right right ready you were showing off you're ready to have this man's children

to bring grandchildren nieces nephews generations and i think if they if they have any respect for symbolism right right that's what they will have yeah okay i also do want to say it's entirely possible like people didn't see it because if there was like a girl aunt or a girl cousin a girl would have pulled you over and be like bitch you got your period here's a tampon I'll come with you to the bathroom like most girls if I saw someone like at a family thing that had that I would pull them over and be like come I have a tampon would you yeah a stranger no let's say um okay I need to think of like a really random like instance okay let's say I'm at a family thing with Ben's family.

Okay. And Ben's sister has a boyfriend. Great guy, Max. And Max's sister came. I'm just like coming up with like the most random. Because we don't have a sister who's a brother. Right, who has a brother. So Max's sister came and she was wearing like a cute dress and she had like a stain.

And like I knew what it was. I would totally. I'm like a woman who supports other women. I would totally be like, come to the bathroom, let's find you a tampon. I would totally do that. Or, you know what I would actually do? Sorry. I would tell Maddie, Ben's sister, Max's sister.

Max doesn't even have a sister. Okay. But that's what I would do. Okay. I would send someone over there. Like I'm saying, someone would have come over. If it was really that big and obvious. If everyone saw it, then there would have been one person in there

who is in their character to tell you. Personally, I don't think it could be me. Like, if I saw it, I would reprogram my mind to pretend that I didn't see it and just move on, you know? No, I would find a way to get the girl help, but like probably indirectly, if I'm being honest. It would have to be like really, really bad. Like, gush it.

Yeah. In which case, you're showing off. Okay. Also, one more thing is, I think it's also really important with a lot of these unburden yourselves I think it's important to remember that you will find a lot of peace and a lot of relief when you realize like nobody cares about you like people are so involved in their own bullshittery like their own lives I'm always thinking like what are people thinking oh did I act weird it's like no one cares about you like people are so involved in their own bullshittery like their own lives I'm always thinking like what are people thinking oh did did I act weird it's like no one cares about you bitch like people really care about themselves I agree like 99.9% of the time but the instances that we've had today I'm sorry like the boob at the table like oh no I wasn't referring about that

we're talking about that the next day no for me I'm like me and my fall like right I definitely fell and people definitely saw but I don't think people think about it to this day. No for me I'm like me and my fall. Like I definitely fell and people definitely saw it but I don't think people think about it to this day the way that I do. No not at all. But I think when you take your boob out at a wedding

people will think about it to this day and it's like part of the canon. Agreed. Now I don't think people are going to be talking about like the period scene. Also it depends on the size.

A photo would have been helpful. But also was it a barbecue? Like maybe it was ketchup you know? Yeah. What was the outing? She was wearing gingham so it could have been a barbecue. It was before a barbecue? Like, maybe it was ketchup, you know? Yeah. Like, what was the outing? She was wearing gingham, so it could have been a barbecue. It was before a wedding, so, like, it totally could have been a barbecue.

Yeah. Or, like, an event where they serve ketchup. Or barbecue sauce. Yeah. Hot sauce. It's an option. Okay, our third and final one is, I met this girl. I'm not going to blow up her spot.

But I met her, and she was like, I wrote in to unburden yourself. I'm like, oh, what was it? And it was the most disgusting thing like I've ever heard. And I was like, OK, I'm going to go into the email and find it. We found it and we are going to read it. Great. Hello, Claudia and Jackie. Hello. First, let me say I love you both so much. Listening to your podcast has given me a lot of joy in life. Thank you so much for all you do. I am writing to unburden myself from a night that I don't quite regret, but I very much need to air to the world. Basically on a cool spring night in downtown Manhattan, I found myself through one course of action and another extremely drunk with two of my girlfriends in the subway. As we were chatting, waiting for the train, one of my friends flailed her arm and

hit mine, which sent my phone that I was holding soaring into the subway tracks. Commotion ensued. We were running around like crazy women trying to come up with the best solution the phone was not on the tracks but rather off to the sides so trains wouldn't go by leaving it unscathed in the commotion of the running in the commotion of running to the train engineers booth at 2 a.m multiple random people saying they would go down and get it for a hundred bucks and one of my best friends offered to hop down on the tracks and get it a random man dare i say my hero hopped down to the tracks grabbed my phone and was back up on the platform in seconds we were in shock and awe especially me i guess who after realizing i had no cash and nothing to repay him with and learning he was a

student at nyu i asked are you a heterosexual man? To which he replied, yes. I then asked him if he wanted to make out and with his full consent, we shared a hot and heavy makeout session on the not-so-empty subway platform.

I then broke away, grabbed my friends. That's a beautiful story. Why wasn't it in the New York Post? I then broke away, grabbed my friends and we ran out to the station

without saying a word to this man. I sometimes wonder who saw this makeout and where this man is now. He was a random NYU student. So if you're out there, thanks again for getting my phone.

I hope you enjoyed the make out as much as I did. Sincerely, a slightly embarrassed yet unashamed toaster. This is like so adorable. I know like that guy, like people were offering to do it for a hundred dollars and she like didn't want to pay for a kiss. He did it for free.

No. And then she offered the kiss. Like I imagine like she said it wasn't crowded. She said it was crowded on the platform. Like everyone probably saw like the ordeal with the phone and like who's going to get it. And they see this hero come through. And then there's a kiss at the end. Like I would have been clapping.

What a show. Except I just have to say one thing. Kissing someone who after they went down into the subway tracks. Kissing on the subway should be illegal. Yeah. It is the most vile place on the planet. It is never been cleaned in its entire especially the tracks like if you look at the tracks you'll see rats colony of rats it's crazy

everything it's like so normal they're so disgusting so i just think like kissing any sort of like swabbing of fluids on the train should be punishable by jail like it's so disgusting yeah um but i'd love this for you i'd love that you're not ashamed of it i love that you found out he was age appropriate and got his consent so all in all sounds like a successful evening on the subway like so cute i hope they make a movie but in the movie like then you guys obviously run home and shower off into the sunset but if anybody like you know knows who this person is obviously he's not watching but you know if his sister's watching um and she's like oh my brother is an NYU student and he did help

a girl on the subway and got a kiss right please connect these two yeah she lives in Chicago now I think because I saw her in Chicago okay but I don't want to blow up her spot any further any further but I'm like giving a lot of information no this is like imagine being like the kind of girl that could like inspire men to just jump into the subway tracks to get your phone. Couldn't be me. She sounds wonderful. She really was like an everything in the store girly. Yeah, that only happens to like certain types of people.

And she listens to the toast, so she's obviously like a special breed of human. Yeah, just like with someone that has that energy. It's like, you know, people who like all the craziest things happen to. That was a great segment. And I want to thank everyone who wrote into unburden yourselves finally we did a whole segment without talking about poop which oh i also met small rocks poo girl and how were those small rocks very poo like and how was she doing did she feel lighter um she was just like she thought the whole thing was so funny i mean it was so funny it's like one of our favorites yeah so thank you and your small rocks poo thank you to everyone who wrote in again the email is unburden yourselves

we also had to bring it back to poop just when we got worse unburden we got out unburden yourselves at gmail.com is the email tomorrow we are back with heather mcdonald remotely which i'm just so excited like nary is there a human I love more. And then Thursday, we're back in studio with Joey Camasta also. So looking forward to it. He's unhinged, and I just love him for that. And then Friday, we're back remote with Lauren Elizabeth, who is a sister, a friend, a hero, a toaster,

and there's nothing better. So we just have, like, a sickening week. Thank you for coming in. I know how hard it is I know you have a doctor's appointment you have to get to so thank you Jackie thank you Claudia thank you Haroldson

thank you Claudia-san thank you toasters hope you enjoyed this episode and thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast five stories

that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube so if you're watching this on YouTube please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up we're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found.

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and we'll see you tomorrow for Hump Day! Goodbye!