The Toast - S5 Ep44: Mall Sashimi Is Not Your Friend With Joey Camasta: Thursday, April 14th, 2022
Episode Date: April 14, 2022- Cuba Gooding Jr. Pleads Guilty to 1 Count of Forcible Touching (The Cut) - Kim Kardashian Cries to Ex Kanye West Over Threat of Second Sex Tape in The Kardashians Premiere (People) - Elon M...usk Wants to Buy Twitter for Over $40 Billion and Take the Company Private (People) - Justin Timberlake Yells at Paparazzo When Asked About Britney Spears' Pregnancy - Trouble In Paradise? Awkward Moment Megan Fox Snubs Fiance Machine Gun Kelly's Kiss and Walks Away From Him In Tense Red Carpet Moment (Daily Mail) The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Joey Camasta (@misterp79) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to The Morning Toast. Happy Thursday. Hope everyone's having a great day.
I'm having a great day because I am joined by someone I love dearly, the most unhinged person on the internet these days.
It is Joey Camasta, Mr. P, everything of the sort, podcast host, chef, glam artist. I don't even know what to call you.
Hello, Joey. Welcome back to The Morning Toast.
Thank you for having me. Now, toasters, don't be nervous. I'm not Jackie, but I am as fertile.
Yes.
So you're getting the same hormone imbalance.
I can confirm that that is 100% true. Well, thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be back. It's been many moons but I am as fertile. So you're getting the same hormone imbalance. I can confirm that that is 100% true.
Well, thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be back. It's been many moons since I've
been on the couch.
We're on a new studio. What do you think?
It's very, I'm very impressed. You always have nice studios. And I asked if I can live
here. I thought I'd fall some hard times.
Yeah. By the way, these couches are extremely comfortable. Push them all together. You've
got yourself a queen bed.
There we go.
Yeah.
A queen for a queen.
Yes. So before we dive in, I know you have a lot of hot takes on pop culture, and I'm
very much looking forward to getting into that. I wanted to ask how you're doing. You Yeah. A queen for a queen. Yes. So before we dive in, I know you have a lot of hot takes on pop culture, and I'm very
much looking forward to getting into that.
Yes.
I wanted to ask how you're doing.
You are making waves.
Since the last I saw you, you have like a whole new career.
You're at Barstool.
I know.
You host Out and About Podcast, which is gay culture.
Yes.
It is so funny.
Isn't it funny?
I discovered it on TikTok.
The videos are the highlight of my day.
You are so, so funny, and you have great banter with your co-host, which is so important.
Yes, Trish. So it's Out and About. You can get it anywhere. Find Podcaster Hound. And me and my
co-host Trish, we became fast friends. And he had a gay podcast over there at Borster for a while,
which wasn't great. I mean, you know, it's hard to do a podcast by yourself.
Impossible.
It's impossible. A few of our mutual friends do it. And I don't know how they do it. It's like,
you know, I need someone to banter off of.
So when we found each other, we were like two peas in a pod and just as inappropriate
and just as wild and messy.
You know, so it's good.
It's called Out and About.
It's so good.
At Barstool Sports.
And I'm a career winner at Barstool now.
I know.
You're like an office girly.
How is that going?
Because you have not been an office girly.
No, I haven't had a job for eight years.
So I've been sitting on my bed and like working from home. Right. We were working from home before the pandemic. No, I haven't had a job for eight years. So I've been sitting on my bed,
like working from home. We were working from home before the pandemic. Yeah, right. No,
we were working from home before it was socially acceptable. Yeah. So now I go into the office
every day, but that's kind of like part of the job is you're going to the office and basically
you're just like, it's like the hype house. It's like a content house. You're just like,
you know, you're at your desk, but like, you know, you're getting pulled. Like one day,
the TikTok little girl come down and like, can you come with me for a second? And they
drag you over here.
They make you do this.
I had to eat bull testicles the other day on Lowering the Bar.
How was that?
It was, you know, it's disgusting.
They eat disgusting things on that show.
It's fun, though.
It's a great show.
Is that the premise of the show?
You just eat gross shit?
Gross shit.
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah.
That's like my worst nightmare.
So they had like eyeballs one day and pigs.
They had a bull penis.
That's all disgusting.
That's called Lowering the Bar.
That's another podcast.
So you get pulled on that to do that. you know there's every day something new you never know what you're gonna get yourself into and then celebrities there are like oh wild that's probably
the coolest part like literally i bumped into who was in like julian edelman was like there
cool i look like a disgusting hog i was like oh my god i love him yeah um when you eat bull
testicles is that a fork and knife situation? Yeah, well, they cook it.
They skinned it.
And they cooked it.
And then it was like a texture of like vegan breakfast sausage where it's crumbly. I wouldn't know.
It's like crumbly.
Ew.
And yeah, it's disgusting.
That sounds horrible.
Shark was the worst.
Fermented shark.
It smelled like fucking ammonia litter box in there for days.
That's disgusting. Can you say no?
Yeah, you can say no. But like you want the
clout. Well, I want to go on it.
Now they know
I'm up to their bullshit and I won't be doing it.
I just go for sound bites. I'll go to the bar and just be like
you know, just give me some sound bites and I'll like
hang out. But yeah, every
day is a new adventure. You never know what you're going to get.
I love that. It's fun, yeah.
And I just meet so many people.
The straight boys alone are just...
They probably love you.
There's so many cute boys there.
That must be tough.
Yeah.
No, what are the policy on intro office romances?
Well, you know when you sign on at Barstool,
the contract is like, the HR part of it is very like,
you're going to be involved in situations.
Right, of course.
There's going to be foul language. There's going to be foul language.
There's going to be, you know, inappropriate situations.
It's not the standard office.
They outline it so you can know what you're getting in for.
So, yeah, it's not office-y in that sense.
You know, you can like, you know, I try not to get in trouble.
But, yeah, so I don't, you know, I can't outwardly grab a guy's ass,
but I could allude to the fact that I would want to, you know,
chow down on that thing.
You are an inch.
How long have you been there now?
I started February 1st, officially, but I was there, you know, you have to like, you
have to go perform for like Dave Portnoy for like, yeah, for like months.
So you have to kind of get in there.
It's like, you know, it's almost like hazing in a way.
So you have to like, you know, kind of hang out there and like get to know everyone and
see if the vibe fits and then eventually they'll offer you a contract. So you have to like, you know, kind of hang out there and like get to know everyone and see if the vibe fits. And then eventually they'll offer you a contract.
I love that.
Yeah.
So,
you know,
of course I was,
you know,
I was there for a while and you know,
things,
everyone liked it and I had fun.
So why not?
And it's not,
I'm having so much fun over there.
And you know what?
When I saw you on the out and about podcast first on Tik TOK,
I thought that was the perfect place for you.
Like,
I think it's so great.
I'm so happy for you.
And you're still hosting your podcast with Snooki.
Yes. You guys do live shows. We're doing our live shows. You you. And you're still hosting your podcast with Snooki. Yes.
You guys do live shows.
We're doing live shows.
You can always find me on
It's Happening with Snooki and Joey.
Anywhere fine podcasts are found.
And we are actually going on tour.
Fun.
We're following
my little sister's footsteps
slowly but surely.
Yes.
We'll be at the Wilbur Theater.
Oh, fun.
Wilbur Theater.
Gorgeous venue.
I think that's the second.
So first Foxwoods,
this is the 10th,
June 10th. Gorgeous. At Foxwoods Casino. Me and Snooki from Jersey Shore. We have our podcast. It's happening. Gorgeous venue. I think that's the second. So first Foxwoods is the 10th, June 10th.
Gorgeous.
At Foxwoods Casino.
Me and Snooki from Jersey Shore.
We have our podcast.
It's happening.
And we wild out.
It's like yours get wild.
My fans are disgusting.
Oh, really?
Disgusting.
Lowbrow.
Not even lowbrow.
They're just wild.
Good.
They're out the gate.
They're out of prison for 24 hours.
And they're going to piss themselves.
They're going to throw up. They're going to throw up.
They're going to get, you know, they're going to take their tops off.
Right.
They're going to fuck a stranger.
Yes.
Like, they come out to get fucked up.
Right.
And, like, you can't even, like, you wouldn't be able to have a show, because you actually
have, like, legit, like, planned out jokes.
Right.
They're screaming the entire time.
That's fun.
It's the best girl's night out you'll ever have in your life and it's like wild. Just be prepared because it's wild.
Be prepared.
So that's Foxwoods and then we go to Wilbur Theatre the next day and then we're
doing Borgata.
Fun.
Have you done that?
No, but I love the Borgata.
Yeah, I've never been there.
I've never performed there.
I did Atlantic City, Tropicana, which was…
I did Harrah's.
Yeah.
It was more money so it was good but it was less stunning than the Borgata.
Yeah. Still, good times had. Yeah. So you can go to NicolePaliz's. Yeah. It was more money, so it was good, but it was less stunning than the Borgata.
Yeah.
Still, good time was had.
Yeah.
So you can go to NicolePolizzi.com to buy tickets for the remaining shows.
And then we know.
We'll pick our tour up there.
But yeah, I'm a busy beaver.
You know, you're so busy.
And one thing I forgot about you, or maybe I never really realized.
How skinny I was?
That?
How skinny?
Is it reading on camera, guys?
No, this camera actually loses 30 30 pounds for you so that's why
we all look so stunning on the show um what I was gonna say is I do not remember you talking so fast
and that's coming from you don't know maybe it got worse I haven't taken my pills yet it definitely
got worse I should slow down no take your time be yourself but I just didn't remember that about you
and if I'm noticing it that's bad well they Well, they call me Marble Mouth Mabel.
Okay.
What?
Marble Mouth Mabel.
Oh, love her.
Yeah.
Wow, I do talk fast, huh?
Yeah.
That's always been a downfall of mine
especially in the broadcasting industry.
Yes, it's like could we have chosen a worse career
like doing live events
where you have to be on stage
and then being on camera during the day?
No, half the time people do not understand what I'm saying.
I don't even say the sentence.
I just swallow it completely.
Well, in New York we speak fast as it is.
So when you go to like the sticks, you're probably like, come again?
Yeah, no, and I really have to like slow down.
I could do my show.
Like I have the whole show memorized.
I could do it in 30 minutes or I could do it in 90 minutes.
It's not the best feeling in the world.
It's like your homework's done and you're not terrified.
If you don't do what we do, it's the best fucking feeling.
That is the best analogy for it.
Like your homework is done.
And you don't have to worry about the next day.
You can go to sleep and you can hang out with your friends.
Yep.
You don't have to worry about it.
Like knowing your material, knowing what you have to do.
Of course, there's going to be every city you want to tailor to things.
And if someone, you know, screams or something, you have to be prepared for everything.
But knowing you're set and having it done and not having to worry,
I can go in front of a billion people.
I can go on the world stage.
It's so true.
Like, if you feel confident
in your material...
There's nothing to be nervous about
if you know what you're doing.
It's so true.
Yes.
Oh, my God, I love that.
That's a perfect analogy for it.
Wait, you have it down
in 30 minutes.
Well, I could do it
in 30 minutes,
but I want to give people
a nice long show.
I'm excited to see
what's new here.
Now, I watched your special,
your Hulu special.
Oh, no, your Amazon special.
Loved that.
Thank you so much.
And now you're wearing pajamas this time or no?
Am I what?
Wearing pajamas this time?
I wouldn't say pajamas.
It's an elevated loungewear look.
Okay.
It's not pajamas.
Now is it a natural fiber?
It's not breathable if that's the question because I have to dry clean them every time
I wear them.
How many sets do you have?
Four.
Okay, good.
Because if I do four shows in a row, I cannot wear the same set.
They're soiled. I can't wear the same set more than once. I have to dry clean it in between.
When was the last time you soiled your pants, Joey? Soiled my pants?
Probably when I shit in the Uber. Did you hear about that?
No, I didn't. You never heard? I haven't seen you since then. I shit
full shit in my hand.
Catch and release.
And I, oh my God.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Start from the beginning.
Where was this Uber taking you?
Was it UberX, UberBlock?
It was the first monster outing to the Short Hills Mall in New Jersey.
Okay.
I was going there to go get free sheets from this very fancy place.
And I had to go there to show face in the store to get through an influencer scam.
Right, right.
So you were influencing. For betting, for betting. You were influencing. Influ face in the store to get to an influencer scam. Right, right. So you were influencing.
For betting. You were influencing. Influencing
in the Short Hills Mall, New Jersey. I decided
after I said, you know what? I'm feeling frisky.
I just got $2,000
worth of betting for free
and I was on a high, a natural high if you will.
Of course. So I went shopping around. I went to
you know, Vineyard Vines
and I bought a couple things there and then I went to
I think Aesop and bought a bunch of there and then i went to um i think asap
and bought a bunch of soaps i had a bunch of i was doing some shopping the short hills mall is
extremely bougie oh it's a madison avenue in a mall it is yeah i used to work there as a young
girl oh where at the makeup counters cute yeah for what store mac cosmetics love yeah so i worked
at mac cosmetics in that store there for for years but yeah short hills mall in jersey it's
beautiful gorgeous okay continue so i I said, you know what?
I'm going to head back to the city.
I'm feeling a little peckish.
What does peckish mean?
Peckish means like hungry, like you want a little pickings.
Got it.
Wow.
That's a word I needed to learn.
I go to Legal Seafood.
It should be called Illegal Seafood.
And I said, I just get the sashimi.
Oh, no.
In the mall or at home?
In the mall.
Okay.
Legal Seafood, it's like not as bad of a place.
It's a fancy mall.
It's beautiful glassware.
You thought it was safe.
I didn't even think anything of it.
And still to this day, I don't think it was the sashimi.
So I ate the sashimi.
I called the Uber Black.
No, it was a regular Uber.
I think it was a Camry.
Okay.
We go.
We get going.
Who's we?
Me and the driver.
Oh, okay. I had like three Pinot Grigios. I had some sashimi. You cannot say the word sashimi. Can you say it? Sashimi.
Sashimi. Sashimi. Yeah. I had the tuna sashimi and I get, so the Uber's there. So the guy,
and his name is Mohammed. I'm not making this up. He gets, he's driving, I'm in the, I'm behind the passenger seat here.
It's getting like dusk time, like rush hour.
And I'm starting to feel like, you know, like, oh my God, I have to like pee.
So I had to pee, pee, pee.
And then finally it got, I'm better than I had to feel like I had to shit.
And I was like, oh my God, but it wasn't regular shit.
It's like, it was like the one that's like, it had like evacuated the dance floor.
The runs.
It has to come out.
It's like, and then you get that cramp.
And if you hold, if you pinch it in, it's like stabbing you in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm familiar. And there's like no runs. It has to come out. It's like, and then you get that cramp and if you pinch it in,
it's like stabbing you in the back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm familiar.
And there's like no way,
there's no way out.
So I was like,
okay,
now we're like,
we're on a highway.
I was like,
I can't,
I can't like,
what am I going to do?
I can't pull,
I didn't know what to do.
I'm a little tipsy at the time.
It got so bad where I was like,
let me like,
you start thinking like,
bargaining with yourself.
Okay,
like how bad will the cleanup be
if I just like,
let a little out,
can I sit with it
for the rest of the ride? Right. Just to get the stabbing pains away. the cleanup be? If I just let a little out, can I sit with it for the rest of the ride
just to get the stabbing pains away?
Can I let a little out?
A modest amount.
Okay?
Just nothing crazy.
Just a little something.
Right, you thought it would satiate the whole thing.
Satiate the stabbing pains.
Right.
Well, I tried a little,
and then it was like,
no, the pains came home.
I said, this has got to get out of me.
So my brain, I went into the bag and took tissue paper.
From the sheets?
No.
Tissue paper from like the gifting?
From the bags, yeah.
Yeah.
From one of the gift bags.
I took the tissue paper.
I went down the back of my pants.
I cannot breathe.
I lifted up like this and I released.
I released in the thing and then I had I bought it and I threw it out the
window wait and then that and then I was like oh my god and now now we're stuck in traffic now
we're like in the city like we crossed the GWB and now we're like like in the in the deep Bronx
the thick the thick of things in the Bronx on a highway a three lane highway that's bumper to bumper
stopped traffic.
I was like oh my god
oh my god.
You still had to go at this point?
Yeah I catch and release
I had to do it three times.
You catch and release three times.
And then it's all over
and it's all on my hand
it was disgusting.
Did you ask the driver?
No I didn't say anything.
For like a paper towel?
No I acted very discreet
the whole time.
Do you think he smelled it?
Bitch.
I'm sure he did
because I got a fucking $300 bill to to my account oh you did so listen so then i go i then
i couldn't take it anyway so i had to get out of here so because i knew the traffic and i was like
i just had to get out of the car my hand is covered there was nothing we're on a highway
oh so i had to i got out of the car i had to hop two barriers in the middle of the thing
climb a fence on the side thing and walk the woods, the jungle woods in the pitch night black in the
middle of the Bronx until I fought for like, and then as soon as I got out of the car,
I shit in the woods like a fucking bear.
I was going to say, why don't you shit in the woods?
I went wild and I took my underwear off.
I took, I took everything off and like wiped it like in the middle.
I was black in the woods.
And then I finally found civilization like 45 minutes later, walking through the, through
the Bronx in the woods on the side of the highway.
I finally find civilization and then like
I got
I like walked to a cab
and like threw everything out
like everything I owned
I was like basically
thank God I bought
like extra clothes
at the
at the mall
at the thing
so here's the question
was all of this
worth the free sheets
they're bowl and branch
they're very nice
bowl and branch
are stunning
I got a waffle
now I got the waffle flat
I got the waffle
blanket throw I got the waffle flat. So do I. I got the waffle blanket throw.
I got the duvet insert.
I got the pillows.
I got, it was worth it.
Okay, good.
Okay, well that's all that matters.
And I got the cleaning fee for that poor man.
I wanted to give him more.
Yeah, of course.
Only for the, you know, the torture alone.
Inconvenience, right.
Like who does that?
You.
Mall Sashimi.
Mall Sashimi will do that to you well
let that be the lesson of today's toast mall sashimi is not your friend that's right um thank
you so much for opening up and sharing your vulnerable moment with you with us we really
appreciate that now the toasters is potty is potty talk are they grossed out by it we actually have
started a lot of potty talk with a young uh our young little mama over here, she's going to have a lot of potty talk.
Well, right.
With that baby of hers.
But you know what?
On Mondays, we started this new segment called Unburden Yourselves, where people just write
in and unburden themselves from the embarrassing.
Unburden?
Unburden.
Unburden.
I got it.
Like, you know when you do something embarrassing when you're drunk and it haunts you?
I hide into the covers for days.
Right.
But so, like, sharing that information, unburdening it onto other people
really does help with the process of healing.
Yes.
So we have people write in to unburden themselves
and it's always something poop related.
Oh, good.
I don't want to gross everyone out
on my big return.
No, your big return is off to a great start.
The toasters are very poop friendly.
And again, this is a safe space for you to heal.
Thank you.
And we really appreciate you being so open and honest.
Thank you.
So I think that's probably a great place to start today's show.
Yes.
So we are going to do...
Do you want to do that still or no?
We do.
We do.
I'll let you know when it's time.
We do have Dear Toasters today, which is our advice segment, which I did save specifically
for you.
I just feel like you would give some particularly unhinged advice.
I'm an old hoe.
I got lots of advice. You have lots of knowledge, lots of experience. And I think you're would give some particularly unhinged advice. I'm an old hoe. I got lots of advice.
You have lots of knowledge, lots of experience, and I think you're going to be great on Dear
Toasters.
I'm excited.
But before that, let's deliver the past five stories that you need to know before you wake
up and take a bite out of your morning toast.
You could do it.
It's on the soundboard, but not quite.
It's more of like a perfect.
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All right, Joey, are you ready?
I'm ready to dive right in.
Well, the big news of the day yesterday is something that hits particularly close to
home for me.
Cuba Gooding Jr. pleads guilty to one count of forcible touching.
This is from The Cut.
Cuba Gooding Jr. walked out of a Manhattan courtroom on Wednesday, a free man, after
pleading guilty to one count of forcibly touching a woman in a nightclub in 2018.
Gooding will continue to have alcohol behavior modification treatments for six months after he will be allowed to be replied after he will be allowed to replete to harassment which
is a lesser charge and have the case sealed gooding was first arrested and charged in new
york city after allegedly groping a woman without her consent in 2019 days later later, comedian Claudia Oshrae accused him of touching her without consent
when she was 16 in 2012.
Thank you, The Cut.
Oh, I was thinking this is your case.
No, The Cut put me in.
And you know what?
A repeat offender.
He is so nuts.
And by the way, the fact that he's pleading guilty and he's going to be fine
and nothing's ever really going to happen to him.
I wish you could see my DMs, like the craziest stories.
Maybe 50 people saying
he kissed me and i didn't i was just he was walking by me kiss me grab my vagina like crazy
shit he's disgusting he's literally a monster and you know what good on this one girl who got her
case all the way to an actual trial yeah but like he's gonna be fine he's gonna remain sick he's
sick you know what's fucked up about that situation is that the court system or whatever
will say like you know it's so easy for him to say these people these women are gold diggers
and they just want my money and they want to say that i did this without proof it's disgusting
if you saw like back in the day by the way and when when he was first accused i didn't say this
article is like kind of wrong i didn't say days later that it happened to me too i've been telling
this story for years because it was the craziest thing. Like when I was literally in high
school this man stuck his finger out my butt at a club. And it was just this thing I always told
people and then it obviously got picked up when the. You knew who it was that night? Well you know
what I didn't like immediately recognize him but there was another celebrity there with him standing
right next to him and I knew that person. Okay. And I was like oh my god that's Mark Cuban and then Cuba was with him um there's a lot
of Cubans going on yeah I know it's very confusing so the amount of messages it's
so crazy he's literally an animal like he's disgusting and I'm glad there's
like some sort of punishment but it's not nearly enough the punishment does
not fit the crime and it's gross it's not nearly enough. The punishment does not fit the crime.
And it's gross.
It's disgusting.
He's disgusting.
I literally hate this man.
Oh, what I was saying was, if you saw, like, some of the people mentioning me on Twitter when I first, like, when this got picked up that he had done it to me.
Did they call, they were yelling at you about it?
I'm a gold digger, Jew, liar, fat, ugly girl.
I hope you get cancer of the anus.
Stop.
Fucking crazy. Like, that's how much people don't want to believe that like he is this person but i swear on everything i own he is that person
well obviously it's just a repeat offender yeah um and that has to be some kind of weird fetish
it's not that you probably can't get women it's probably it's probably like a he he wouldn't go
as far as doing much more horrible things like that so he's like getting a
little taste of like right no you're right like he's successful it has to be a fetish or some
weird fucked up thing because it shouldn't be hard for him to get girls he's not bad looking
to be force forcible on everyone it's a weird fucked up fetish what a sicko he's so sick and
i literally hate him and you know i've run into him like two or three times since that day and
he has
no idea who i am like he would look me dead in the eye and just like walk past he doesn't what if you
what if you wouldn't lift your skirt up will you know who you then literally remember me now literally
um he's so scary i hate this man with every fiber of my being him would you scream and if you got
awarded would you scream show me the money in court with him is that a line from one of his
movies isn't it oh yeah he's jerry mcguire yeah i'm so unfamiliar with his
catalog of work except um snow dogs iconic disney channel movie um but other than that i'm really
not familiar with his line of work he's not we don't really claim him yeah the girls and the
gays don't really claim him no not at all he's not like an icon in any way he's a monster and
you know who is Anna Delvey
how so what are you feeling I don't know what your scandal is with her oh I don't have it I don't
know your opinion on her um I think she's like the biggest loser of all time who became like a famous
loser and I think the way people are obsessed with her it's like a little over the top like
she wasn't that interesting but I thought the show was good I was really into the story like
when it first came out but now it's like so many TV shows.
You have,
you run into some
high society circles.
Have you ever seen it?
So you know what?
Seen the elusive,
elusive Anna?
When I was watching
the Netflix show,
I was actually thinking
like I must have been,
especially like when she was
at the height of her scandal.
Stardom?
I was like, you know,
thirst monstering,
like different heart circles.
And I totally feel like I must have met her
I have no recollection no proof I don't
Know that I did but I can't imagine that
I haven't been in the same room as her I'm sure
You have I know I was thinking about that a lot and I was waiting
For them to like you know have one of her friends
In the show be someone that I recognize yeah
But I didn't we guys
Have you met her no I've not met her
I know of right I'm
Fascinated by it though I don't know How I don't know of. Right. I'm fascinated by it, though.
I don't know how,
I don't have an opinion either way.
I just, you know,
it's the ultimate thirst monster.
No, I know.
And like the way she was able
to literally con
every single person in New York.
When people in New York
are so,
Yeah.
like aware of your bullshit.
We can check facts.
Yeah, like they don't
get scammed easily.
And she was out here
scamming the top of the top.
Would you go to
the Anna Delvey Foundation?
Yeah, it sounds like Zero Bond.
Like a cool Soho House members club.
Yeah.
If I could get a membership, I probably would have tried to get one back in the day.
For free?
Of course, no.
For barter, social barter.
Yeah, we'll post next to the statue here.
Sorry to go off topic.
She was just, that's such an iconic thing and I haven't seen it yet.
I know, I know.
It was like a crazy moment in time and I thought that the Netflix show was really good what did Jackie think of it
Jackie um Jackie's like decided that she's over the Anna Delvey stuff like she Jackie was actually
the one who showed me that first Vanity Fair article and like explained the whole thing to me
and then but then it just became like so overdone it's like a million documentaries American Greed
Netflix now it's like the same story being told over yeah and it's like a little bit overplayed i think that's how
jackie feels yeah and i agree if you if you were to be like a socialite who scammed everyone like
what would your story be like if i were to sit down one day and watch the documentary of joey
kamasta like fraud yeah what would you have done um well i probably i wouldn't care about clout
and things like that or fame
I'd probably do some more things
about like manipulating
straight boys
married men
married men for sure
yeah
I could definitely see
that documentary
being made one day
yeah
I could see you on
American Grave
that maybe
the
maybe some like
shady like surgeries
or like weight loss secrets
yeah
do you have any weight loss
like if I lost
a bunch of weight when I said I really dieted but I really was having my body sucked out every like 10 minutes right do you have like weight loss secrets. Yeah. Do you have any weight loss? No, like if I lost a bunch of weight when I said I really dieted,
but I really was having my body sucked out every like 10 minutes.
Right.
Do you have any weight loss secrets you want to share?
I'm always open to hearing new ones.
Well, I know we're not good at diets, you and I.
No.
It doesn't really work.
I mean, I try to get, I'm trying like to get down because I have to,
you know, be, I have to go on the road.
I told you earlier.
I know.
Can we talk about that?
Yes, we can.
I got permission beforehand so I don't get sued by Dave Portnoy.
Yeah, of course.
Because you were telling me about this new thing you're doing, which honestly sounds like horrible and amazing. I know. Can we talk about that? Yes, we can. I got permission beforehand, so I don't want to get sued by Dave Portnoy. Yeah, of course. Because you were telling me about this new thing you're doing, which honestly sounds
like horrible and amazing.
I know.
Tell me.
You're going on a new show for Barstool.
Road Rules.
It's like Road Rules.
It's like Road Rules.
It's called Barstool vs. America.
And basically, we go to travel around the country in these RV buses.
Like a tour bus.
A tour bus.
It's almost like, you know, yeah, it's a tour bus.
So you've seen like those bunks, yeah, it's a tour bus. So you sleep in like
those bunks.
Yeah,
there's four people,
it's eight barstool employees
on two different teams,
so four and four
and there's two different buses
and we travel across the country
and it's all sponsored
by High Noon Sun Sips.
I know I can't say that.
You can.
High Noon is good.
High Noon,
they have a new flavor.
It's called Guava.
It's so good.
It's not as good
as Spritz Society.com.
Use code toast.
They're very different.
This is wine.
This is wine.
Yeah,
no,
High Noons are great
and so they're sponsoring the whole series. the whole thing. It's all about High This is wine. This is wine. Yeah, no, high noons are great.
And so they're sponsoring the whole series.
They're sponsoring the whole thing.
It's all about high noons.
But the thing is, we're going to be doing the fun part about it.
It's what I love doing.
We're going to get to do meet and greets in these happy hours, these high noon happy hours all across the country.
Oh, cute.
So if anyone wants to, you know, that's going on.
We're leaving next week.
So check your local listings.
We're going to start off in Tampa.
Fun.
Then we're going to...
Are you driving from New York to Tampa?
You fly to Tampa? You fly to Tampa?
We fly to Tampa.
And start the whole journey.
But we have to sleep and stay on the bus the whole time.
That's insane.
And then we have to do all these challenges in between meet and greets and cities.
We have to do physical challenges like running and mazes and sports, I guess.
How do you think you're going to fare with the sports?
Well, I think the good thing is there's other straight boys there.
Not other.
There are straight boys there.
Right.
Besides, I'm not a straight boy. You're not? No. Well, I'm there's, the good thing is there's other straight boys there. Not other, there are straight boys there. Right. Besides, you know, I'm not a straight boy.
You're not?
No.
Well, I'm thinking about it.
There's two girls, two gays, and four straight boys.
Okay.
So that's a good mix.
Yes.
So at least there's two straight boys on every team, hopefully.
Who will like, you know, carry the load.
They'll do all the stuff.
Yeah.
And I'll like, you know, do the mind games and the puzzles where you have to like remember like the flavors of the high noons and the order, like line up the cans and do all the load. They'll do all the stuff. Yeah. And I'll like, you know, do the mind games and the puzzles. We have to remember
the flavors of the high noons
and the order
and line up the cans
and do all the things
under 10 seconds.
You'll be good
at the brain games.
The brain games.
And then what do you win
if you win a challenge?
You win a bunch,
I think,
well the thing is,
I think last season
what you do is you win,
you get an Airbnb
for the night in that city.
Oh heaven.
Instead of sleeping on the bus.
Heaven.
That's the thing
but the whole goal,
the whole big thing
is you win a bunch of money, I don't know how much money, and a house, a shore house for the whole summer on the bus. Heaven. That's the thing. But the whole goal, the whole big thing is you win a bunch of money.
I don't know how much money.
And a house, a shore house for the whole summer on the Jersey Shore.
Oh my God.
Stunning.
You have to win.
Yeah.
Would you invite me to your shore house?
Well, Trish won last year.
Pat won last year.
Oh, your co-host.
Co-host Pat.
So you, your co-host's name is Pat.
Pat.
You can follow that Barstool Pat on Instagram and Twitter.
And you call him Trish.
Call him Trish.
Why?
Well, anyone my mother, my late mother, pardon. Oh, I'm sorry. That's okay. I always? Call him Trish. Why? My late mother. Pardon.
I'm sorry. It's okay. I always laugh.
It's fine. I'm there too.
Is your dad there?
Sisters. Sisters!
So
anyone she's met named
Patricia or Pat,
she would say, may I call you Trish?
That's so funny.
I always call anyone
named Pat Trish. Because of your mom. That's so funny. I always call anyone named Pat Trish.
Because of your mom.
Yeah.
That's so sweet.
And it's such a fun thing.
It's like, may I call you Trish?
And Trish is such a fun name.
What do you call me?
I call you Claudia.
Claudia.
I like that.
Or the girl in a job.
Do you still do, what is that thing you always say?
Could I?
Could I call me?
Do you still say that?
Yeah, we still say that.
I love that
so we're doing
oh sorry
we're going to Tampa
then we're doing Nashville
fun
Madison
not Madison
yeah Madison Wisconsin
that's a place
I don't think that's it though
oh okay
Milwaukee
no it's another
it's another name in Wisconsin maybe
Green Bay
I don't know
fuck
I literally have never heard of it
maybe it's Madison Wisconsin
that's like the only one I've heard of
is that like a wild town
Milwaukee is in Wisconsin no it's not that one I think it's Madison, Wisconsin. That's like the only one I've heard of. Is that like a wild town? Milwaukee is in Wisconsin.
No, it's not that one.
I think it's Madison, Wisconsin.
Okay.
Chicago and Boston.
Fun.
So check your local listings for high noon.
You have to drive to Boston?
Yeah, that's far.
Well, if you start in Tampa and you end in Boston, that's really far.
Yeah.
It's cross country.
Well, kind of.
Well, thank God they keep you stuck with high noons when you drink those the whole time.
Right.
So I have to be happy.
Topless. I don't know
what they're gonna
make me do
so I forgot
to dieting
oh so you're
just trying to
trim down
trim down
for Barstool vs. America
okay
because I don't
want to be
like a slob kebab
on TV
with like my top off
well you're perfect
the way you are
thank you
but dieting tips
you know
you know what you have
to do girls
there's no secret
you can't eat
the good stuff
you can't eat bread
or rice
or candy or sugar pasta you have to do, girls. There's no secret. You can't eat the good stuff. You can't eat bread or rice or candy or sugar.
Pasta.
You have to eat just grilled meat and vegetables.
That's it.
And that's why I don't diet.
No alcohol.
That's why I'm becoming a cannabis queen leading up.
Are you?
I think so.
Well, yeah.
The alcohol, like when you just eat so much and you act like an animal.
Well, the alcohol.
Wine. Not wine. I drink lots of wine and you act like an animal. Well, the alcohol, you know, wine, not wine.
I drink lots of wine and I drink lots of cocktails.
I drink a lot.
So when you drink, I can have, like, I'm not even lying to you.
If I was drinking spritzes, I could probably do, how many?
Four.
I could probably do 24 by myself in a night.
Really?
Probably.
Wow, I'd love to see that.
I party long nights.
Right, yeah.
You know, I start at happy hour and I go until 11 in the morning.
Yeah.
So it's like, I while out.
So all those calories, everything has calories in it.
So you can eat it, you drink calories.
And then you're eating because you're drunk, you end up losing inhibitions and eating whatever the hell you want.
Of course, but then also that happens with pot too.
Like you get so hungry.
You get so hungry.
But the thing is, you're not eating, you're not drinking.
You smoke a little bit of pot or take one edible.
There's zero calories.
Yeah, but then until you binge.
Yeah, but I don't think the binge can be as bad as doing this and then binging.
I agree.
That's true.
You're cutting out at least 50%.
You are saving some calories.
So ladies, go find a drug dealer.
Okay?
You want to buy some marijuana.
Okay?
Get yourself a puff pen.
Get yourself an edible.
Yeah, I love that.
Get yourself a tincture.
A tincture.
There's so many ways to do it now.
It's true.
Have you ever tried 3Chi?
No, what is that?
It's like Delta 8.
It's like, it's a different strain, so they can sell it everywhere.
Oh, no.
They send me stuff all the time.
It is so fucking good, 3Chi.
Really?
And it's like, it rocks your world.
And they have every application you can want.
You can have droppers. You can have a little gum. A cream. A little Skittle. A cream. Right. You can want. You can have droppers.
You can have a little gum,
a little Skittle,
a cream.
You can put it into your food.
There's every way
you can get it in your body.
It's like smoke it,
stuff it.
Inject it.
Yeah, inject it.
Love.
They got it all.
I love that for you.
What about an anal suppository?
Why not?
Why not?
Well, thank you for sharing that.
Again, for being open and honest.
I'm being very open and honest here.
And we love that.
And this is a really safe, non-judgmental space.
Your fans are diehard.
They would murder for you guys.
And they love you.
So I think we're all just getting closer as we sit here.
But I'm going to move on to the next story.
Because at this rate, this will be a four-hour episode.
Fuck Cuba.
Justice has been served, but not enough justice.
People Magazine is talking about one of the most iconic moments in last night's episode,
first premiere episode of The Kardashian Show on Hulu.
Kim Kardashian is crying to Kanye over the threat of the second sex tape in the Kardashians premiere.
So it was really crazy.
So I didn't really even know this whole story, but basically they're having a barbecue and Saint comes over with his iPad and he's
playing Roblox. He's like, Mom look Roblox! And she takes the iPad and you know that
picture of Kim crying when she's like talking about
Chris Humphries divorce? So it's that picture of her crying and thank God
Saint doesn't know how to read, but the headline says leaked footage coming soon
of Kim Kardashian sex tape new footage. And she grabs the iPad and it's like freaking
out. And over the course of the episode, she finds out that Ray J's manager is
like shopping this around trying to get there's more footage that she didn't
know about. And she is on the phone with her lawyer. Then she calls Kanye and
she's just crying. And it's so sad by the way like and what she says she's like
you know what I'm not to let this bother me.
It's 20 years old, and I made a mistake 20 years ago.
And then she was like, you know what, I didn't make a mistake.
I was with my boyfriend.
Exactly, I love how she clarified that.
Yeah, she was like, I didn't do anything wrong.
I was in love.
We did something that a lot of people do,
and who knew Rachel would turn out to be such a motherfucking piece of shit,
and his manager.
So the episode was left with a to-be-continued,
but then next week we saw a little premiere.
And I'm pretty sure what happens is like,
she's sitting there getting ready for SNL.
Someone drops off a suitcase and it's Kanye.
And she opens it up and starts crying.
And she's like, guys, look what Kanye dropped off.
And she opens it and they cut it.
But I'm pretty sure that's the laptop with all,
like he got it back for her with all the footage.
And like, she's crying.
It's so sweet.
And I've been on this like Kanye hate journey for the last couple months.
He's been,
he's been hard to love.
Bothering me.
Um,
but now after last night's episode and I think what happens next week,
I'm like back on the love train and I'm now I'm like hoping that they get
back together.
I'm so excited for that.
I know.
Yeah.
That'd be nice.
Kanye and Kim.
Yeah.
I mean,
I'm actually still like really big fan of Kim and Pete.
Yeah.
But I totally,
skeet.
I totally love Kanye now.
It was so sweet.
Have you seen the first episode?
I saw the second episode, too.
I know.
I didn't want to...
I didn't know if you were allowed to say that, so...
Oh, I don't know if I am.
I don't know.
You're definitely not.
I...
Oh, I didn't say anything.
I didn't say shit.
The first episode...
And what I thought was interesting about this is that...
Do you think they did this not, they
had a choice to what to put in the first episode.
Do you think they put the sex tape in the first episode of this like they did in the
first episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians for good luck?
Well, that's what Khloe said.
Khloe was like, this is an omen.
You know, the first season of Keeping Up, we were talking about the sex tape.
And now first season of this show, we're talking about it.
So it must be a good sign.
And I actually thought that was like a funny and kind of good perspective.
Yeah.
And obviously that did not calm Kim down.
But I agree.
Like, I think, so random.
Like, when I think of Kim, I don't even think of sex tape.
No.
Like, it's so old.
And it's such like a fucking antiquated way of like looking at women in business.
It's so stupid.
But I agree.
I think it's definitely eerie.
Like, and I don't think they planned it that way.
I don't think Kim.
I love it because it's nostalgic in a way.
And it's like, you know, it's almost's a it's horrible to say it's because she's going through so much
bad things but it's like it's like a feel-good moment for the viewer no totally like nostalgia
because it's almost like we like we because we're at a new home because we used to be at e now we're
on hulu so i feel like we're like we're like on vacation so it feels like some kind of familiarity
at the house you know what i'm talking about you know we're at a different house different camera
different style so many drones.
I love the drones.
Okay, I did too, but they went a little overboard.
It's a little bit like, it's reminding me of fucking Laguna Beach.
It was making me nauseous.
Like, they showed like Pacific.
Now she will get motion sickness.
Yeah.
No, like I had to take a Dramamine.
They were literally showing Pacific Coast Highway, and then the drone went upside down.
Like, why do we need to see Pacific Coast Highway upside down?
Kendall and her sound bath. Like, it was a lot and kendall wasn't even in the episode like at all
she wasn't even shown yeah kylie like i guess has an excuse because she's pregnant and kendall had
an excuse because she had covid yeah but once again it's courtney kim and chloe putting the
show on their back even though they said in press that they are splitting the money equally so
everyone has yeah everyone has to show up equally.
That's fair.
This isn't like a kibbutz.
Just between the five girls and the mom.
And the mom, yeah.
I wonder if Scott...
Scott had his own little thing.
He had his name.
That's nice that they're keeping him in there.
Yeah, it's nice that they're keeping him in there,
but I can't imagine he's like a full slice of the pie.
No.
No.
And everyone says that Kourtney doesn't show up.
Kourtney's my favorite Kardashian, by the way. I know Kim is yours. Really? Kimourtney doesn't show up. Kourtney's my favorite Kardashian
by the way.
I know Kim is yours.
Kim is mine, yeah.
Yeah.
Kourtney's my favorite.
I think it's like
her dry sense of humor.
I think she's the funniest.
Well, that was funny
when they were
talking about SNL.
She's like,
well, everyone thinks
Khloe and me are the funniest.
I'm like, really?
I never thought you were
the funniest.
I think Khloe is.
Yeah.
She actually,
they say she's the laziest
one who doesn't want
to share anything with her life.
She's the only one
who shared everything with her life. She pulled the only one who shared everything with her life.
She pulled a baby out of her vagina.
It's true.
With her bare hands.
It's true.
And put it on her chest.
Scott was a nightmare,
and she showed every horrible thing with Scott.
True.
Now she's showing her things.
She shows more than anyone.
And with the Travis stuff, she's being super open.
She's having fun with it, though.
I know.
She's definitely lighter.
I think the last couple seasons of the old show, she was like kind of a misery.
Yes.
But because she was miserable.
Like I didn't think she was in a good place in her life.
And now you can feel she's so light and fun.
It's being forced upon her.
Yeah.
She's definitely a different person now.
Yeah.
I love it.
I love that for her.
And I would never think, I saw them.
Where?
The night they got married.
Hours before.
At Delilah.
So you were in Vegas.
Yes. Were you at the Grammys? I was not at the Grammysmys I was that I got there the night of the Grammys not knowing it was
the Grammys um I was there for RuPaul's Drag Race um finale they were filming there wait oh bitch I
was front row I was on the red carpet the finale has already been filmed it's been filmed do you
know who wins no no one knows no one knows they don't announce it until... So what was the finale?
The finale was...
I thought it was live most times.
It is live.
No, it's not live.
But you said it was already filmed.
Well, it's not.
Am I getting in trouble for this?
No, no.
It's live.
Wait, it's...
No, they film it.
It's never live.
But then the winner is announced live.
No.
The winner is announced.
So the winner finds out when we find out.
So that's live. No. The winner's announced so the winner finds out when we find out. So that's live?
I know.
Is this live?
Yep.
Okay, whatever.
We can move past it
but how was that?
It was phenomenal.
That's amazing.
I love all the queens.
This season was so good.
So good.
All stars.
I know.
All stars, all stars.
Who do you think is going to win?
Of this season?
Yeah. I know who I want to win. I'm. All stars, all stars. Who do you think is going to win? Of this season? Yeah.
I know who I want to win.
I'm rooting for, there's five girls.
I know.
I went to the finale.
I just know who I'm not rooting for, and that's Diabetti.
Motherfucking yes, bitch.
I hate it.
She's so nasty.
Like, I can't believe she's made it this far.
She's so mean to everyone.
I can't.
I'm rooting for either Lady Camden or Bosco.
Oh.
I love how Lady Camden
has come out of her shell.
Yes.
And I think that's exactly
what the journey on RuPaul
is supposed to be about.
But Bosco's been at the top
even though like that one episode
where Bosco almost got eliminated
and was really mean.
The kanji bar.
Was so mean to Lady Camden.
Like that was a big step down
for me in terms of Bosco.
Yes.
But I do believe Bosco
is probably the most
qualified to win.
Who do you think?
I think, well, you know,
I'm a big Willow Pill fan.
I've been a big
Willow Pill fan too,
but she's kind of been lacking
and she doesn't win
a lot of challenges.
True that.
So I'm team,
if I had to pick two,
I'd be team Willow Pill
and team Bosco.
Also, honorable mention
to Angeria.
Oh, stop.
I love her.
I know.
She like started.
My friends just call me Angie.
She came out really strong
in the beginning
but kind of like
fell by the wayside
and just like was safe a lot.
I think that the Snatch Game
really shook everyone up.
Rattled everyone's feathers.
That was embarrassing.
Yeah.
Embarrassing.
What would you do on Snatch Game?
Oh my God.
Probably Joan Rivers.
Oh, good one.
But that's like kind of predictable.
Yeah.
Maybe Celine Dion.
Thank you.
What about you?
Oh, yeah, that's good.
I don't know. You should do Snicky. Yeah, I could do her. Would you. What about you? Oh, yeah, that's good. I don't know.
You should do Snooki.
Yeah, I could do her.
Would you ever go on drag?
Do you do drag?
I used to.
No, when I was a young girl,
I did.
You did?
Yeah.
In clubs?
Yeah, I used to work
the door of the tunnel.
And what was your shtick
on stage?
I didn't really,
back then it wasn't about,
like, I didn't do
that kind of thing.
We just kind of danced
like sluts on, like,
on, like, we did, like, dance moves to, like, Whitney Houston remixes
and things like that.
And, like, you know, showed up at parties and things.
We have to go to a drag show together soon.
Oh, yes.
I've been going a lot to Barracuda.
Yes.
I noticed that.
With the Points guys.
Yes.
And I went to, like, a few weeks in a row for their Miss Barracuda drag pageant.
I loved that.
Stunning facility.
Yeah.
I was actually thinking of having my birthday
party there.
Oh.
With the queens.
I thought that would
be so fun.
How fun is that?
I am.
So you got to do
the red carpet
and how was that?
Oh so good.
The girls were so sweet
and it was like
a pinch me moment.
Like I've seen
you know I kind of
follow vicariously
in your footsteps
because I've looked up
to you for so many years.
I love you.
Because you were so young
when you started it
and you did everything the right way in the right order and like you just
kind of but there's no right way there's no right way there's no right way and you're like in your
season now yeah so I kind of felt what you guys did with me I was always so jealous watching you
and Jackie go to um the country music awards all the things and I said oh my god I would love to
do that so I manifested it for myself so now Trish and I yes so you did it with Barstool yeah with
Barstool oh I love that mestool. Oh, I love that.
Me and Pat from Out and About Podcast.
And you,
make sure to subscribe.
You interviewed like the queens on the carpet?
Yep, we interviewed them.
As they were going in for the big,
for the big moment.
Just the top five
or all the queens who showed up?
There was a lot of queens there.
There was queens.
Old and new.
You have to watch.
Yeah, I can't really say.
Were Trixie and Katya there?
I can't say
okay
will you tell me after
yeah I'll tell you after
there was a
there was a
there was a
a host of all different queens
amazing
I love that
that sounds so fun
yeah it was so much fun
and the show was
incredible
I actually left a little early
why
you had to poop
well
no
I forgot what happened was
you had too many drinks?
No, they stopped serving drinks inside, so I had to go out and get them.
Yeah, of course.
I never came back.
I went to the bar and didn't come back.
Have you seen the RuPaul's Drag Show in Vegas at the Flamingo?
No, not yet.
Have you?
Yes.
I went to Vegas for a weekend and I saw it twice.
Baby, I made it.
I made it.
This is the one.
I made it.
It was so good.
I cried the first time.
Because I'm a huge Coco Montrese girl.
Oh, yes.
And she's, like, very niche.
And I didn't know if she was going to be there that night.
And she was.
And I was just, like, speechless.
I thought, it's an amazing show.
The music is incredible.
Yes.
And they have, obviously, like, RuPaul songs.
But then they also have, you know, Greatest Showman and, like, Lady Gaga.
They had everything.
Yes.
Derrick Barry was there had everything Derek Barry was there
Derek Barry was there
she does a great Britney
oh I have to show you
a video
because they do like a trivia
and they came to me
for trivia
and it was like
a season one question
I'm like I don't fucking know
and I made like
a little joke
and Derek Barry laughed
and it was like
this gorgeous moment
oh my god how fun
we can literally go
we have to actually
hang out after this
because we have so much
this show will be 10 hours.
I know, I know.
Okay, we got to move on.
The girls and the gays get together.
No.
Do you have your coffee yet?
I did.
I mean, it's like kind of gross.
That's a milkshake.
It's milk.
Ma'am, that's a milkshake.
Oh, speaking of, I bought you a ma'am hat.
Oh, thank you.
By a ma'am.
Oh my God.
It's in my bag there.
Okay, I'll get it afterwards.
Thank you so much.
Okay, we do need to move on.
You're 100% right.
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All right.
Ready, Joey?
We are making no progress. We're only on the
third story. Oh my god. So let me get
my shit together. Side note, I've
tried Luminous and it's actually very nice. I know.
It's very lightweight and fresh. It's stunning.
I feel like you probably are much better. Doesn't it feel cooling and fresh?
We're sweaty beddies. I love
a cool blast of air on my face.
So Elon Musk, you
know, we reported last week that he bought like 9%
stake in Twitter because he's like mad at the company, wants to make changes.
But now he's made an official bid.
He wants to own Twitter.
He offered over $40 billion to take the company private.
How is he so rich?
He's the richest man in the world, they said.
So he started PayPal.
He did?
Yeah.
Then PayPal sold to eBay for a big-ass chunk of money.
Then he obviously started
Tesla and SpaceX
that are just
but how does SpaceX make money
that's all spaceships
yeah I think they make money
I don't know
but Tesla is like
there's no more bread and butter
I think now
but I don't know if it's more
I think it's more money
than when we
doesn't that sound obscure
the world
the rich man in the world
I heard on 1010 Winds
on the way over here
1010 Winds is a
fire radio station
yeah
the world don't you think wouldn't you think it's some like Saudi prince or something on 1010 Winds on the way over here. 1010 Winds is a fire fire radio station. Yeah.
Yeah.
Worlds?
Don't you think wouldn't you think
some like Saudi prince
or something?
Totally.
I thought
Is he American?
I thought he was
the richest in America.
No, well 1010 Winds
is the world.
You give them 10 minutes
they give you the world.
Okay?
That is their slogan
and it's been
that's their slogan
since I was literally
Oh no, you give us 22 minutes
and we'll give you the world.
Yes!
But he wants to buy Twitter now, $40 billion.
He famously hates Twitter.
Right, so he offered to pay $54 per share for 100% of ownership of Twitter.
He said that he wants to take the company private.
The offer would value the social site at about $43 billion per Bloomberg.
So the billionaire added that he would be reconsidering his role as a shareholder with
the company if his offer was not accepted.
So he's kind of threatening them.
I love this.
I think Twitter is the most toxic place on the internet and any sort of change can't
be bad.
Yeah.
Do you think they'll still be allowed nude photos though?
Because that's my favorite part of it.
You know what?
I like no censorship.
I have to agree.
Because anytime like I'm on TikTok and someone's like, did you see like so-and-so sex tape? Like I have to agree. Yeah. Because anytime, like, I'm on TikTok and someone's like, did you see, like, so-and-so
sex tape?
Like, I run to Twitter.
Run to Twitter, yeah.
Yeah, so I hope that element doesn't change, even though it's, like, kind of fucked up.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't think that's Elon's.
I'm pretty sure Elon's overall message is, like, free speech censorship.
I think he thinks Twitter is censoring people.
So I think he's not really worried about our nude photos.
He's worried.
Like, censoring, like, not being able to. Like, political. He's worried. Like censoring, like not being able to.
Like political.
Like the old president?
Yeah, right.
I think.
That's censorship when you can't, when you won't let him on there.
I'm pretty sure, like, he doesn't like that Twitter decides what is considered appropriate
and what is considered not.
I'm pretty sure that's what it is.
I'm not 100% sure.
Please don't quote me on that.
So it's more of like a statement on censorship
and free speech
and I think he'll leave
our nude photos alone.
Thank God.
Okay, good.
Yeah.
I just want to be freely
just let my nip slips.
I know.
Do you have any nude leaked photos?
Yes.
You don't know about this?
Are they on Twitter?
It's not a leaked photo.
It's a video of me
climaxing on my own face.
And so years ago,
I sent this video.
This is before I even had tattoos.
This is an old video
and I must have sent it
to a guy before I was famous
so you're alone
I'm alone
I'm pleasuring myself
and that guy sends it around
people are so evil
well good luck to you sister
they're pretending to be me
and you're trying to get money for it
it's like
best of luck to you girl
yeah right
you ain't gonna get far
with that fucking picture
I don't think it's going
they're going right
so it's a video or like a still photo it's a gif and a video and where
does one find it i can show you it yeah do you want to see it yeah right now it's a gif it's
gross though it's okay no it's really graphic no i have seen worse blasts of jizz going everywhere
it's okay i've seen worse okay you forget i'm like pretty much a gay man this is a video that
goes around the office. Now, everyone...
Where do you have it saved?
Like in your photo album?
It's under animated.
If you find my phone ever, it's under...
Go to animated and then go to...
Wow, you've lost so much weight since then.
Thank you.
That's kind of like hot.
It's not really that gross.
Thank you.
I'm proud of you.
So that's my nude photo leak.
Now, do you have any nudes?
No. Well well how much money
would it take for you to leak a nude of one of your sisters oh one of my sisters like what would
you trade like if like 30 what is your ultimate goal oh you just want to be a billionaire yeah
30 billion dollars famous enough but for me i would agree to like taking a nude photo and putting it
out there for a small amount of money if i was able to face tune the photo that's really yeah
that's all i personally care about.
True that.
And as long as I'm like, I have a tan and my hair is blown out.
Like if I was hot with a big dick, like I'd be naked all the time.
No, I know.
And it's like, for me, I think the idea of having nudes leaked wouldn't feel to me like
an invasion of my privacy, which I think a lot of people feel.
I would feel like, oh my God, I need to go on a diet.
So that's my concern. And I think other people's people feel, I would feel like, oh my God, I need to go on a diet. Like, so that's what I, that's my concern.
And I think other people's concern is like, you know, it's an invasion and it is.
But for me, I'm more worried about, you know, the badass.
Yeah.
I love FaceTune.
I love.
Do you have FaceApp?
That's even better.
Of course.
Oh my God.
Don't tell people.
Pay all the money.
Don't tell people about that.
Oh my God.
That's a secret.
Isn't it like, don't we pay $30 a month for that?
I literally, I would pay $100. Yeah. I'll trade in my equinox membership for that fucking app bitch literally um okay next
story is justin timberlake is like fighting with paparazzi because a paparazzi asked him like what
do you think about britney and he's like literally screaming go away go away stop and the question
that the paparazzi had asked was like hey what's up justin how are you doing britney spears just
announced that she's pregnant with her third baby.
And he's like, stop.
Go away.
Go away.
Fucking baby.
I literally hate this man.
Did you see Jason Alexander, her first husband, methed out screaming?
No.
Oh.
The fact that Britney was married to someone named Jason Alexander and it's not Seinfeld
guy.
What's his fucking name?
Jason Alexander.
Oh, yeah. The guy. What's his name? George Costanza. Costanza. Thank you. His fucking name? Jason Alexander. Oh, yeah, the guy. What's his name?
George Costanza. Costanza, thank you.
His name is also Jason Alexander,
and I find it really confusing.
It was on...
Where did she send this to me? Snoopy sent it to me yesterday.
So he is talking about Britney?
Yes. All of Britney's exes
coming out of the woodwork screaming.
Can I show you? This is premium content.
Of course. It was on her as Hilton, I believe. Bro of the woodwork screaming. Can I show you? This is premium content. Of course.
It was on... Her ex Hilton, I believe, broke the news.
Ew.
Here it is.
There he is.
Okay.
Press that.
This is Jason Alexander.
He looks nothing like himself.
He looks methed out.
He's spitting and slurring in the street.
Oh, wow.
He looks so different.
He's definitely on meth.
He's from Florida.
Isn't he?
I don't know. Louisiana? He looks so different he's definitely on meth he's from florida isn't he i don't know he
looks so different all of britney's exes are like really um losing it yeah so she's pregnant
justin timberlake is out here yelling at paparazzi when you know what he has some nerve to be yelling
at anyone after what he literally dated at they're seven years old why is it i know because
celebrities like i know why do we ever and sel Selina would never be separated. So stupid.
Do you think that Justin Timberlake is the one
that got away? No.
Who do you think is the one that got
away from Britney? Oh.
Is it
Federline? I don't know.
Like, we're a family.
Yeah. I don't
know. I think. Maybe we haven't met him yet.
Maybe. I don't think we met him yet
maybe it is
what's the guy's name
Sam
Ashkari
he was just in a movie
I saw on Hulu
no way
or show I was watching on Hulu
what kind of movie
he plays someone
in a show I was watching
I love that for him
good you know
gotta get work
those bills aren't gonna pay themselves
have you been watching
the girl from Plainville
no but it's like on my list
and you know what
what's the name of the girl
who plays
Elle Fanning
she looks so much like that bitch it's crazy they my list. And you know what? What's the name of the girl who plays? Elle Fanning.
She looks so much like that bitch.
It's crazy. They did such a good job with the eyebrows.
The eyebrows, the forehead, the hair.
She's a sneaky lesbian.
Who is?
The character?
No, the real lady.
The real lady.
Yeah.
I thought that she was, but she had a boyfriend.
Yeah, but you have to watch the show.
Oh, yeah.
No, I've heard it's incredible.
It's on my list.
If we don't get money
from Hulu for sponsoring,
we talked about Kardashians
and this other show.
And I heard people
are loving the dropout,
speaking of Hulu,
the Elizabeth Holmes.
But I, um,
I don't want to watch
anything that's slanderous
of Elizabeth Holmes
because in my mind
she's an American hero
and a girl boss.
Yeah.
That's a Blessed Be lady?
That's like
the Theranos blood girl.
But it's just the same lady
that wears the little red outfit
and says Blessed Bee?
No, that's Elizabeth Moss
from Scientology
and from Handmaid's Tale.
Yep.
So a lot of people say
it's like hypocritical of her
to be in that show
because she's in a cult.
Yeah.
I'm excited for Britney
to have a new baby.
Her other babies
are kind of assholes.
How do you,
how do you mean?
Like, weren't they like
turning on her
and they were going
with the father
and then the grandfather,
well, we all know
about Jamie.
The grandfather.
He was hitting them
or something.
Yes, that's what it was said
in some court documents.
Yeah.
I don't know much
about her kids
and she keeps them
very private
and I want them to have
as normal of a life
as possible because
I don't know
what their whole family,
and I think Kevin Federline
is a really good dad.
I think he has
primary custody.
You know?
Who knew?
The backup dancer turned father of the year.
No, I know.
It's a beautiful love story.
And you just love to see happy endings.
Yeah.
So Justin needs to calm down and stop touching the paparazzi.
A hundred percent.
And then speaking of weird interactions, there is this video going viral of Machine Gun Kelly
and Megan Fox.
They're on a red carpet.
Somebody just got this video where they look like they fucking hate each
other. And like he leans in for a kiss and like she swerves. And I just want to
say I don't think it's fair to like take a moment out of context because I love
my husband more than anything. But if you followed us around all the time with
cameras, you would and you posted it you would be like trouble in paradise. Like
sorry people are human and you don't always want to be kissed. You're wearing a lot of
makeup. Like I hate when people try to make like a moment
out of everything
because people are people
and not everyone
is going to be happy
all the time.
I think the problem with that
is that why it got to that point
is because they are
so overly affectionate.
Just like the Courtney
and Travis.
They're always
tongue in each other down.
So the second that they're not,
everyone thinks,
oh, some of her trouble
in paradise.
But also,
they could have just had
a blowout fight
in the fucking car.
Like, I told you I wanted sushi, motherfucker.
Right.
And now here we are at the burger joint.
It's like, no, man.
100%.
I said, you picked last week.
It could be something as simple as that.
And just get the fuck away from me.
You're on my ass all the time.
No, it's so true.
Men are annoying.
No, they're so annoying.
And you know, even the best relationships, like you want to kill your partner and just
normalize being miserable in relationships that are still very healthy and good.
Right.
I'm sorry to have to go.
That's the one thing I won't like when I'm a celebrity.
Yeah.
Well, you're well on your way.
Thank you.
Are you thinking of dating another celebrity?
I think that would be really good for your...
No, I would hate that.
But I think it would be really good for your career.
Who should I go with?
Anyone?
Do you think that Billy and the Street and I are too much, too toxic?
I do think...
He's got a hot little body on him.
I love him.
Me too.
I think your energy and Billy Eichner's energy, like clashing, might
start like a world war. It's so chaotic.
But I don't hate
it. You know, Colton Underwood and I
were canoodling for a while.
Not sexually.
Friendly. This is when he first came out.
Of course I latched onto him like a true thirst
monster. I have to
say when he came out, every
gay man in my phone was like, do you know him?
Can I have his number?
Every single person.
And now he's engaged.
Yeah.
Well, I slipped.
I slipped.
Yeah.
That's that.
He was gay for five fucking weeks.
And he's had a fucking engaged husband in a fucking house.
And you've been gay for how long?
I'm trying to sell his wedding to the not.com people.
People for the exclusive.
And I've been gay for 72 years.
Now, that's a 100 years in dog years.
And I can't catch a dick if I try, okay?
Now, this queen is like, I can't with her.
So she actually ghosted me.
Colton?
Yes, because Colton was in town a couple weeks ago,
and we DM'd each other.
He was like, oh, my God, I'm in town.
I think I know I saw he was in town, and then I stalked him.
I said, oh, my God, you're in town.
Let's hang out.
He goes, okay, let's do it.
We've had plans to go to two different plans, and he goes to me both times.
Well, they changed them last time.
He changed last minute both times.
So I said to him, I said, oh, my God, my dreams are coming true.
Like, dream big, girls.
I'm actually getting ghosted by Colton Underwear right now.
Who would have thought?
It's true.
It's better to be ghosted than nothing at all.
Yeah.
So, but we never talked romantically, but in my head, you know, who knows where we're going to marry.
What fantasies, yeah.
What fantasies.
But he, what a catch.
If you could date any celebrity.
They have to be gay, though?
Gay, yeah.
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
That does limit the fun.
But who would you want to be married to?
Oh, right now?
Matt Bomer's pretty hot.
Oh, my God. I can't's pretty hot. Oh my God.
I can't go hot guy like that.
And the guy from Bridgerton
is gay.
The lead, Andrew,
the one who plays
the Viscount this season.
I'd probably go with
like Carl Nazib
who's like the gay raider,
the football player
that came out.
Oh, he's cute.
Yeah, I could be a WAP.
What do I call it?
A WAF?
WAG.
A WAG.
Wife and girlfriend, yeah.
You would be an amazing WAG
first of all.
That's what I think
I'm doing at work anyway at bar school. And you could do the glam for all the other WA girlfriend. Yeah. You would be an amazing wag, first of all. That's what I think I'm doing at work anyway, at bar school.
And you could do the glam for all the other wags.
Yes.
That would be so fun.
They would love to have you.
That's why I feel at bar school, because everyone's with sports there.
They're all sporty.
Right.
They're all sporty.
So I already feel like a wag.
You are.
I feel like I won already.
But yeah, I would go with him, because he's like a butch queen.
Right.
She's a butch queen.
She has a big salary.
Yeah.
My like whoring myself out
for fame
is quite different
than hers
yeah
like he's gonna
play his football
play little sports
I'm you know
gonna do things
like this
gonna be taking
photos on the field
for your Instagram
like this
what do you think
of Jackson Mahomes
annoying or no
I have a special place
I was just in
Kansas City last weekend
and I was literally
searching for him
because I really
wanted to talk to him
just to give him
some advice
I think that the kids
on TikTok are so
fucking nice to him now is he gay on the. I think that the kids on TikTok are so fucking mean to him.
Now, is he gay?
On the record?
I don't know.
Not on the record, no.
Girl, sweetie.
Just let yourself be, huh?
I want to talk to him because I want to give him some advice.
But I also think the kids on TikTok are so fucking mean to him.
Like, they call him a homo.
Like, it's so mean.
Well, you should never use gay slurs.
Never.
Was that a slur?
Not you. Oh, okay. I'm saying people shouldn't feel bad about being gay. Use gay slurs. Never. Was that a slur? Not you.
Oh, okay.
I'm saying people like that shouldn't be like making you feel bad about being gay.
People are fucking awful.
Being bad about being a thirst monster and being annoying.
Yeah, he's.
And TikToking in the wrong time.
He's so annoying like on TikTok.
But I think that like.
I get vertigo doing those dances.
I know.
I can't do it.
Are you on TikTok?
Well, your podcast is. I'm on TikTok. Yeah. I don't do it are you on TikTok well your podcast is
I'm on TikTok
yeah
I don't ever use it though
I just like
it's like you know
how many boys
in those gray sweatpants
I know
there's so many DPLs
I know you need to
get a pair
what's it called
dick lines
like
VPL
VPLs
you need to get a pair
of gray sweatpants
and start swinging it
in front of the camera
and then you'll go viral
well
that's what it takes That's what it takes.
That's what it takes.
All those TikTokers I was hanging out with Dave Portnoy.
Yeah.
Do you see them around the office?
Yes.
Those little twinks.
What are their names?
What do you think about them?
Which ones?
I don't know their names.
The Josh Richards, I think, works there.
And then Bryce Hall.
Oh, unique.
I mean, they're beautiful young boys.
Stunning.
Very, very handsome kids. I just, you know, I get things. I get it. I get it. I get the they're beautiful young boys. Stunning. Very, very handsome kids.
I just, you know, I get it.
I get it.
That was you once.
That was me.
I think I was there that skinny.
But yeah, there's TikToker.
You know Brianna Chicken Fry?
She's a big TikToker.
She's always over there in a bikini, you know, TikToking around.
I just can't do the silly videos.
And it's not to say, and this is my shady take.
Yeah, say it.
This is called
the shady take on TikTok.
This is safe space.
Is everyone nags me,
oh my God,
go on TikTok,
do this, do this, do this.
It's like,
I don't have to go
on TikTok
and lip sync
to someone else's
fucking jokes.
It's like,
you and I are the joke makers.
Literally.
We make the sounds.
Yeah, we are.
So that's why I feel stupid
going and like saying,
even if it's like some other lip syncing. but you gotta play the game joey yeah i know i have to do
it so those were the past five i feel like we didn't really cover anything but i loved every
moment of it um and now we're going to do our advice segment called dear toasters and i'm very
excited to hear your heart what's and it's those printed cards or did you write with your hands
no these are printed they're dry erase they're from vista print use code toast okay no they're not dry erase they're no on your side the ones you write
on did you write your handwriting or no uh you want all the industry secrets we print our our
ads very professional thank you do you do that yeah i don't do it i can't lie um okay the dear
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I know.
It's nice.
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Are you ready to change lives with some advice?
I am.
I'm here to teach the children.
Okay.
Hello, Joey and Claudia.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years, since high school.
He was away in the military for four years, and we've been currently living together for
another four years.
We always talk about marriage and how many kids we're going to have, so I assumed we were eventually going to get married.
We recently went on a big trip together where I assumed he was going to propose, and when he didn't, I was like, what the fuck?
So I approached him asking what his plans were, and he told me he doesn't think he ever wants to get married or have kids anymore.
This is the first I've heard of it, and I'm so confused and honestly heartbroken.
He said he doesn't want to break up, just continue our lives how it is now. Now I'm not sure
what to do with my life.
Stay with him like
with the possibility
of no marriage or kids
or do I leave him
in the hopes of finding that?
Help, a very confused toaster.
She needs to watch that movie.
What's that movie?
Crossing Delancey?
No, it's the one where
it's like,
it was Jennifer Aniston.
She's like,
and then,
He's just not that into you?
Is that what it is?
When Ben Affleck
doesn't want to get married?
Yeah, and then she shows up
with the cargo pants
and proposes on the boat
yeah yeah yeah
the boat
she doesn't have to go
like
no the thing is
there's nothing worse
on the planet
than a man
who wastes a woman's time
because as women
we are
you know
being held in a chokehold
by this biological clock
yes
and so now it's 10 years
and this motherfucker
never thought once
to bring it up
and thank you
for your service sir
but you are a dick.
Like such a dick.
So first of all, you need to decide.
Do you want kids?
Like it sounds like you are toying with the possibility of staying with him.
If you want kids, do not stay with somebody.
How do you not know that your partner is going to get married after 10 years?
I know.
Bitch, I know what he ate for fucking breakfast two months ago.
It's so true.
On the day.
So he's a dick for not telling you.
But also like this is a lesson for you to learn.
Like you need to know what people like. You have to put all your cards on the table. At a certain point, it's not fun on the day so he's a dick for not telling you but also like this is a lesson for you to learn like you need to know what people like you have to put all your cards on the table
at a certain point it's not fun you're not dating like cool you're old now you got to figure out
what is my life's plan it's very like militaristic and honestly if you want kids and you want to get
married you got to say goodbye and it's going to be hard but get it over with because yeah your
time's running out like if you want kids it's harder and harder the older you get, so you have to keep that
in mind. Great advice. Yeah, I mean, I would
just put it on the table. This is something that's important to me.
Something that I want. We don't got much
time here. What are we doing, girl?
It's just a yes or no question.
Do you want kids? At this age?
I mean, Andy Cohen did it, so I know that. But I think
if I become rich enough, I'll have a kid.
Sometimes I want to have kids. I want to be able
to afford to do it the right way.
Nanny.
Yeah.
A nanny,
you know.
Multiple nannies.
Multiple houses.
Yeah,
of course.
Things like that.
Travel,
school,
private school.
I'm really sorry that this happened to you.
Yeah,
me too.
I'm sorry,
girl.
This sucks to feel like you wasted your time.
So if you,
if you sit and think to yourself,
like,
I really do want kids,
you gotta bounce from this relationship.
And there's thousands of men out there that want kids
and are ready to
fucking do it right away.
And who aren't wasting
10 years,
10 prime years
of a young girl's life.
But also funny,
this guy might just
be afraid of marriage.
He might have had
parents that like
divorced and was terrified
of it.
He doesn't want to leave her.
He wants the kids.
He just thinks
marriage freaks him out.
The best thing to do
is just you gotta
speak it out
and leave nothing
off the table.
Sounds like there's a lot unsaid between you two.
You might not have great communication.
Yeah, you've got to be very blunt.
I know.
Do you want to do this?
Yeah, be meticulous.
Go get it, girl.
Go get your baby.
You got it.
All right, next up.
I need both of your advices so badly.
So to frame this story, I was invited last July to this billionaire's summer house.
I was invited by a friend of a friend.
Is this from Claudia Asher? I was invited by a friend of a friend. Is this from Claudia Asher?
I was invited by a friend of a friend,
so I didn't really know anyone there.
The same weekend, one of the billionaire's sons
was also there with his friends from college.
I ended up flirting with the billionaire's son,
and we drunkenly hooked up that night.
We didn't talk since, except for one time
where he messaged me a few months later
asking me to come out to a club on a Sunday,
but I told him I was staying in.
Club on a Sunday.
Fast forward to this past weekend where I ran into his dad, the billionaire.
While I was out on a Wednesday we ended up talking. He asked for my number to get dinner the next night and I agree. I get dinner with him the next night and he's genuinely the most sweetest
interesting person I've ever met. Then he asks me to grab a drink with him on Sunday the night before
he has a dinner with his sons. I agree with the intention of dipping out before his sons arrive. But she's with the man?
She's with the dad
getting a drink with him
before the sons arrive.
Like he's having dinner
with his sons
but he grabs a drink
with his girl before.
So she says.
But she already hooked up
with one of the sons.
Yep.
She says I stupidly agree
with the intention
of dipping out
before the son arrives.
So I meet him at the bar
and then 30 minutes later
his ex-wife arrives.
It's a little bit awkward, but I sense they have
a healthy co-parenting relationship,
and she was very nice to me.
She mentioned that the sons are on their way,
so I call an Uber so I can avoid an awkward run-in
before I get there.
Of course, my Uber is taking forever,
but when it finally arrives, the billionaire says
he'll walk me outside.
We get outside, and I see both of his sons
a block away walking towards us.
One of whom she hooked up with.
Yep.
He goes,
Why don't I introduce you to my sons?
I panic and make up an excuse that my Uber's been waiting a while,
and I'll meet them another time.
He even says it's more awkward if I don't say hi,
since his sons are literally walking towards us.
At this point, I say sorry and just sprint to my Uber.
I'm not sure if they saw me,
but I know at some point if I keep on seeing him,
I'll have to talk to him about the son.
Do you think I should tell the billionaire,
or should I reach out to his son to see if we can agree not to tell his dad where's the loyalty though is she she she's really trying to hook up with the older man I think her heart is with the dad now so my
heart would be with the dad too like you want someone she had a whoopsie daisy she went to the
party hoping to hook up with the father I don't think she was thinking about it but she just ended
up hooking up with the son and then months later I know she's wishing she didn't, because she actually is hitting it off with the billionaire dad.
I got it. Okay, so she went to the party as an opening agent. Yeah, she just came as a friend of a friend.
Happened to hook up with the son. Never heard from him again.
Oh, but then she's kept out of the billionaire's house,
and met him again. Okay, I got it. Girl, first of all, I'll take the son.
True. No problem with that what a pickle i know because this is like an ashton kutcher movie that when they're in that movie
it's an ashton kutcher movie for sure yeah i like i really want this to work out between you and the
dad because like you being a billionaire like you have billionaires listen to your show that's just
good for the toast yeah so i really want to help you and I don't know, is the best way for her
to like speak to the son
and be like,
we can never tell your dad?
Or to be honest with the dad,
I don't know.
It's so-
You know what would be worse though?
I suppose poor girls
should probably like,
just go under their head.
Imagine the son's secretly
in love with a girl
and his heart's going to be broken
and he'll never accept her
once he gets married to the family.
That's not going to happen
because they hooked up once
and never spoke again
and like he doesn't like her like that.
Yeah.
But it's just gross.
I think that family members
shouldn't hook up
with the same person.
I think it's gross.
I want to know the age thing
because the girl has to be
somewhere in between
the age of the father
and the son.
Right.
And the Holy Spirit.
Okay.
I don't know what to tell you.
For me,
honesty is really
always the best policy.
Yes, always. So I think you should tell the dad but me, honesty is really always the best policy. Yes, always.
So I think you should tell the dad, but maybe wait until he buys you a Birkin.
Yeah.
Like, get a couple gifts.
Don't sleep with him, but, like, make sure you get a car or something.
Before you sleep with him?
Well, she can't sleep with him without telling him that she fucked the son.
Oh.
So she needs to get all she can out of it.
You don't think she has already?
No, I don't think she has.
She needs to get all she can out of the relationship
and then tell him, just in case he never wants to see her again,
at least she has a Birkin for the memories, you know?
A Porsche for the road.
How would you say?
The craziest...
Montgomery, the craziest thing happened the other day at the party.
Montgomery!
Oh, man, literally.
One thing led to another.
We were sipping champagne.
Next thing, I'm gobbling down your son's penis.
I think that's how butlers talk.
Yeah, I think that's how they talk, too.
I'm sure they do.
I don't know if they're from the South,
but they definitely talk like that.
Montgomery.
Where did you come up with the name Montgomery?
What is the fanciest name you can think of?
That's a good question.
The most regal, fancy name.
Well, whenever I'm pretending to be rich, I always pretend like I'm talking to my butler.
Chives, would you fetch me the limousine?
Oh, maybe Montgomery is the butler.
I don't know.
Montgomery is a rich name.
Yeah.
But my go-to is Chives.
Would you fetch me my footrest?
What's this baby's name?
Harry.
Harry.
Yeah.
And I can point to the couch.
That's a good joke.
How is young Marjorie?
Marjorie's doing amazing.
Thank you for asking.
She's thriving.
Still doing the live method?
Always.
Working out before 6 a.m.
Got a little dog of hers.
The weather.
I follow her.
I get my weather from her.
Me too.
The other day, I knew it was raining, and then she told me it was going to get sunny
out the next day.
So make sure it's going to get hot out.
Yes.
She's quite reliable when it comes to the weather. right here's our third and final quandary i don't
feel like we've really given anyone any good advice so let's try this time okay yeah my fiance
and i recently hired a cleaning service to come to our house every other week rich we have a puppy
and a new house and things can get pretty messy so we figured we could use some help a couple of
weeks ago i came home from work to find that the bag of peanut butter cups I store in our fridge had only one remaining.
I had just bought them the day before, and I figured it was odd that my fiancé had eaten almost all of them.
When I asked him about it, he said he didn't eat any of them.
It's just the two of us that live together, so I started racking my brain thinking who could have eaten them.
The only people in our house that day were my fiancé, because he works from home, and the cleaning crew of two.
Since they take out the trash each time they leave we decided to check the trash
outside. Oh my you're fucking nuts. Just buy more peanut butter cups. Since they take
out the trash each time they leave we decided to check the trash outside to be
sure just before coming jumping to conclusions. Lo and behold there were
peanut butter cup wrappers in the trash that they had taken out. How do I
approach this? Do I
confront them or let it slide? It's not about the peanut butter cups being gone.
I could care less. It's about them rooting through the fridge when we're
not paying attention. And could this escalate and become worse? Would love to
know your thoughts. Girl, you have like literally no problems in your life if
this is the biggest problem. You need a reality check. This woman came to
clean your house and she got hungry. Like, I would have eaten the whole bag.
I wouldn't have even left one.
I think they can have anything they want.
Yeah.
Out of my house.
Like, if you're, like, doing all this shit, I have to do, like, the lady folds the laundry
and puts it in my drawers.
It's like, take whatever, take whatever you want.
Yeah.
No, totally.
And you know what?
Maybe, like, this is a lesson.
Were you offering them refreshments or beverages?
They're back-breaking work.
Did you put the air conditioning on?
Maybe they're fucking hot.
They were hot and hungry.
Trying to cool off
with a nice peanut butter
You stuck their head
in the fridge
and then they saw,
oh, you know,
I haven't eaten in hours
because this bitch
didn't put out
any tea sandwiches for me.
Their blood sugar was low.
So she did what she had to do.
I think you're toxic
and you're the problem.
No, seriously,
this is not a big deal.
Like, you need to,
you need to move on.
You sound just like
a major control freak
and maybe you should just
start cleaning your own house because you can't handle the pressure i'm glad you said it yeah i
don't see anything wrong this was the most dramatic thing i've ever read like i know girl relax not the
peanut butter cups you act like she stole your gold bracelet like she didn't oh did you watch
um sydney sweeney in that show which Which one? White Lotus? The little bracelet. White Lotus. Oh, yeah. So good.
So good.
What do you think of Sidney Sweeney?
I think she's gorgeous.
A star.
A star.
I think, and her facial, she can say so much without saying a damn word.
Yeah, she's very talented.
What is that now?
Oh, this is my little instrument.
Oh.
That's stupid. Let's see if I can...
Is that the... I mean, the show's over? It's about to be over. I just wanted to show you before I...
I love it.
Thank you. Do you want to play that?
I'd be honored.
Yeah. Play us a tune.
Is there some morning toast on it?
No. Play us a tune.
This is... Remember Grease? That's what I said
the first time I opened it.
Gorgeous. Thank you so much. Percussion. Joey on percussion Joey, I love you more than life.
You are one of the funniest people.
Stop.
I want to come here all the time.
You are always welcome.
I love you.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for having me.
Check out Joey's podcast, Out and About Podcast.
It's a barstool podcast.
It is so funny.
Please do.
And make sure to follow us on Instagram.
Out and About.
Out and About.
Out and About.
Pod.
And then Out and About Pod.
Yeah, that's the Instagram.
And my Instagram is MrP79.
M-I-S-T-E-R.
You've got to change that. But I thought you'd get in trouble when you change it jackie
ashrae did it yeah and she didn't get in trouble by who everyone said that if you change your name
to your real name that like it fucks up the algorithms and stuff no i think that if you're
verified you just have to like do it with instagram you can't just do it in your phone
like you have to just ask someone to help you change it oh really is that what she did i think
so oh maybe that's what i'll do because i i love you but what the fuck is mr p
it's my nickname when i was a kid okay but you're a grown-ass man now but i can change it to my
full name without getting like losing everything i'm pretty sure all right so it's right now it's
mr him is m-i-s-t-e-r-p-7-9 and you can catch him on the out and about podcast on the it's happening
snooki and joey podcast And they're heading out on tour.
So if you want to check out tickets for their unhinged live show, it's NicolePalizzi.com.
Correct.
I remember everything.
And then look for High Noon in your cities if you're in Nashville, if you're in Tampa.
No, don't.
Don't.
Oh, no.
Look for Sprint Society.
We're in stores.
We're at Total Wine.
We're at BevMo.
And also SprintSociety.com.
Use code TOAST.
There we go.
I love you.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for having me.
You guys.
Thank you, Toaster, for being nice to me.
Please don't rip me apart on the internet.
Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Toast,
the millennial morning show where we deliver the best-selling stories
that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.
So if you're watching this on YouTube,
please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.
We're also available as podcasts anywhere podcasts can be found.
So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio,
CastBox, all the places.
So wherever you listen to podcasts,
find us on Morning Toast and leave a five-star review
about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.
Have an amazing day, everyone.
Tomorrow, we'll see you for Friday.
Tomorrow.
Bye.