The Toast - S5 Ep46: Coachella, Revolve and Personal Accountability: Monday, April 18th, 2022

Episode Date: April 18, 2022

- Coachella Recap (11:20)  - Influencer Apologizes for "Reckless" Rihanna and ASAP Rocky Rumor (Page Six) (35:01)  - Jessica Simpson Loves Her Body at Every Size After Weight Loss (Page Six) (39:47)  - Twitter Board Adopts Poison Pill Defense to Try and Stop Elon Musk's Hostile Takeover (Daily Mail) (43:37)  - Everforward Ship Freed From Chesapeake Bay After Being Stuck for More Than a Month (Baltimore Sun) (48:35)  - Unburden Yourselves (53:31)  The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry) Merch: https://shopmorningtoast.com/ The Morning Toast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themorningtoast Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry: https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Morning Toast. Happy Monday! I hope everyone had a great weekend. I am honored, humbled, excited, and just beyond relieved to have my co-host back. Jackie, thank you so much for being here. I cannot tell you how much I've missed you. You're so welcome. Why don't you sit this one out? You know, chill, enjoy. This was such a big weekend, like on all fronts, so many holidays, Coachella, so much to discuss. So I feel very good about being here on a Monday. No, we needed you today. Yeah. There's so much to talk about. I know. I was glued to my phone this weekend and I didn't, I don't, I didn't expect that from myself. Like I've been very, you know, out, disconnected,

disconnected from what's going on in the world. And I didn't think that I would be like so obsessed, glued to what was going on at Coachella this weekend. But I did not turn my TV on once. That's also because I opted to read this weekend instead of watch TV. But I also was realizing I was on my phone the whole weekend, like wanting to see the looks, wanting to see what was happening. And we will be recapping all of it. But how was your weekend?

It was good. You know, it was a holiday. weekend it was good you know it was a holiday so it was um a different kind of weekend for me I'm not usually like you know spending the entire weekend like not drinking you know with family but it's nice you know it's actually crazy how long the weekends are when you're not like going hard yeah yeah much longer than I was used to and you're not waiting for your hangover to pass you're not like wishing away hours that are precious no it's true it's 100 true so it felt like a really long weekend it was used to. And you're not waiting for your hangover to pass. You're not like wishing away hours that are precious. No, it's true.

It's 100% true. So it felt like a really long weekend. It was good to be close to God, close to family. Yeah. You hosted a beautiful Seder on Friday night. Thank you. Yes, I did. Harold loved it.

He came over. The reviews were rave. He saw your apartment. He said it was stunning. He loved what you did with the place. Thank you so much. And the food was delicious. He said compliments to the chef.

And it was a really nice evening thank you so much yes oh my god that feels like one eternity ago yeah um but yes I hosted a Seder and then we did the second Seder with Ben's family so it was nice nice holiday um I'm on what is it now day like three or four if not eating bread it's a part of the Jewish holiday for those who don't know and I am struggling I'm so constipated I've eaten so much matzah which really blocks you up like if you ever have you know what when I had the stomach flu I should have started eating matzah because that would have bound me up real tight I'm so I'm a little like on edge because I haven't had pasta or pizza in like three or four days and I'm just we have to go until I think Sunday this week I'm fucking starving like I'm really hungry damn okay well

don't take it out on me no I am like I'm really hungry. Damn. Okay. Well don't take it out on me. No I am. Like I'm really hungry. I busted my ass to get here. I've pumped like a million fucking times. I woke up so early. I literally my eyes are like watery. And whenever I watch the show back after I've been on. Because you know that's a fun thing to do.

It's a fun thing to do when you're not doing it every day. Every single day. You can like see the glassiness in my eyes. You look great. Thanks girly. And it's not glassiness in your eye you've just got a sparkle in your eye that's just something cute about me you're just that girl i am that girl yes so i'm sorry that you can't have your pizza and pasta i mean neither can i but it hasn't really impeded what i've been eating the last few days like i was just like on a

potato kick anyway right potatoes are the saving grace of Pesach. Potatoes, chips, and french fries. Right, because everything I want to eat is, chametz is the technical word for those who don't know, you can't eat any, basically gluten, kind of. Because the Jews ran out of Egypt to escape slavery, and they didn't have time for their matzah to rise, their bread to rise, so it became matzah, like a cracker, because the yeast didn't rise. So now now to remember the suffering of our ancestors for like eight days

we can't eat any gluten and i'm upset and the only thing that brings me solace is a french fry because it's not i mean technically if they're battered in like tech like if you want to get technical which i don't i don't want be clear. I'm not getting technical. Like some people will not have a fountain soda because the syrup in fountain soda is like corn syrup or whatever. I'm not that girl. Like I will be having fountain soda, but I'm doing the basics. Like obviously I'm not slapping, you know, a piece of bread into my mouth. Of course. And I don't want to get technical at all. And I often don't. And I, I believe that if Moses had access to French fries, like he would have grabbed a handful. I also think like if he had a bag of pretzels he would have taken them for the road.

Obviously Moses was a smart man. So like some of these conveniences like I think it's disrespectful to eat a flat out piece of bread because Moses couldn't. Right. And Moses didn't. And then we would be like rubbing our bread in Moses's face and that's not cool. A hundred percent. But Moses would have grabbed a pretzel rod if he had one. No. And if there was like a 7-Eleven on the way out of Egypt, I know Moses would have stopped for a fountain soda. And therefore, so will I. A hundred percent. I just think to myself before I put it in my mouth, what would Moses want? And I know Moses wouldn't want me to suffer. So I, I'm struggling.

Yeah. But like the pasta, it does take time to cook. Moses couldn't. No, of course, of course. So like the obvious ones, but like, you it does take time to cook Moses couldn't no of course of course so like the obvious ones but like you know some people will you know it depends on your the varying levels of religiosity but like a lot of people will do potato vodka which is like a special um kosher for Passover vodka because I guess vodka is made from wheat but I just know Moses was like yeah give me a shot Moses was like Belvedere check yeah a shot. No, Moses was like, Belvedere, check. Yeah, no, shots for everyone. Shots, shots, shots. If he had it in the house.

Right. Just because he didn't go grocery shopping is not. Why should I suffer? No, no, no. So I'm like so hungry. I had like, I've just been eating like chicken. Like, I'm just so hungry. I'm so sorry.

I know. It's okay. It'll be fine. You'll have a big meal after. We're like four or five. We're like, we're like almost halfway. We're almost halfway. Yeah. Almost. Yeah and matzo is good and you have like chocolate matzo. Yeah and a lot of people are giving up different things for Lent so it's like we're all in the same boat. Yes. Agreed. So crazy weekend. Here to discuss and recap it all. The

revolve of it all. The revolve of it all. Oh my god yes. So. The revolve of it all. So much to say. Do you want to wait till the first story which is like really Coachella recap? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But tell me about Harry. How is he doing? Everything is good. I can't believe... I don't know the last time I've been on the show.

Like the days go by so quickly and I'm like, I was just here. Right. I was just doing the toast. And I don't have... It was, I think, like six days ago. You were here last Tuesday. Okay. I don't have too many updates for everyone, but things have been going well.

Breastfeeding is going really well. Good that's it's all good I mean I'm so fucking tired all the time yesterday I guess was like maybe a growth spurt and he was just like cluster feeding all day I was literally breastfeeding every hour and the thing about like you're supposed to technically you do like every two and a half to three hours when it's a normal stretch but that doesn't include the time spent breastfeeding. So if you're, like, breastfeeding for around, like, 40 minutes, and the next one, that's 40 minutes into the two and a half to three hours. Oh, it is?

Yeah, it's from start to start. So, like, it's literally every hour. That's fucked up. It's messed up, yeah. That's messed up. It should be from the end. Obviously. But, I mean, your baby's hungry, so, like, why are you?

What, are you going to let the kid cry while you just sit there with your chest out? Just to make a point? Just because, like, you think it should be longer? Speaking of my child, you know, I don you going to let the kid cry while you just sit there with just a point? Just because I get you think it should be longer. Speaking of my child, you know, I don't want to worry everyone, but Theo has been rather ill and he's going to the doctor today. So just prayers, positive thoughts up for Theo. Prayers up for Theo. Hopefully everything's OK. It's just like a routine stomach flu, but he's just unwell and he's not one to complain.

And he is like he's strong you know he's built like what's the phrase we always say strong like bull strong like bull he is strong like bull and so if he's down down and out for the count then something is amiss i know so like now we have to i'm like the type of dog i'm like it's fine it's fine but then it's like four or five days where he's not fine and usually when i'm'm like, he's fine, he is fine a day later. Bryce has so many days like that. Right. But now it's like enough time has passed. Like he really needs to see a doctor. So that, and I have like Theo's stool sample, like sitting on my dining room table. I don't know what to do

with it. I double bagged it and I put it in. Frame it, obviously. I double bagged it. Framebridge.com code toast. That's one of the sponsors today. I double bagged it and I put it in a ziplock bag And I was like do I put this like in the freezer Like I wasn't sure where to put it I think you leave it out

Yeah it's just chilling Sometimes you send a sample like through the mail And it's not it's not frozen Yeah no so I just have to hang on to it until 3 30 When he goes to the doctor Okay So that's what I'll be doing today That's really fabulous

Gorgeous This fabulous life of Claudia Asher The fabulous stool of Theo Sopper Beyond fabulous when he goes to the doctor. Okay. So that's what I'll be doing today. That's really fabulous. Gorgeous. This fabulous life of Claudia Asher. The fabulous stool of Theo Safar. Beyond fabulous. Stunning. Okay, so I feel like, let's just get into it because sitting here

not talking about Revolve Fest is just a waste of my time. Okay. So without further, do-do-do-do-do, prayers up for do. I know you guys don't like when I talk about do

when I say do-do-do-do-do. Prayers up. But today is an important day for do. So everyone just keep doing your thoughts. And Bryce. He's doing fantastic, by the way. Happy know you guys don't like when I talk about do when I say do to do to do. Today is an important day for do. So everyone just keep doing your thoughts. And Bryce, he's doing fantastic by the way. Happy for you. So fucking cute. Without further ado, it is time for the past high stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast. Today's also Monday, which means we are unburdening ourselves at the end of this episode and the submissions today are on another level. Can't wait.

So I'm excited for that. And today's show is brought to you by Skylight. Nowadays, staying in touch with those we love is more important than ever. And the Skylight digital photo frame makes it easy. You can either email photos to it or upload them to your app anytime from anywhere. It's a great way to feel close to those you love, even when you're far away. Anyone in the family can send photos to the frame. So it's a great way to keep family members in touch.

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that really like target your target areas. And I think FitOn is a great resource for anyone who's trying to get in at-home workouts join the over 10 million people getting their fit on workout for free anytime anywhere text toast to 64 000 to join fit on for free that's toast t-o-a-s-t to 64 000 that's toast to 64 000 all right let's dive into like what we need to talk about Coachella weekend one the only weekend that matters. Well, you know what? Like, this has been such a clusterfuck of, like, a weekend.

I actually think that if you were going to Coachella, like, to enjoy the festival, like, go to weekend two. Oh, yeah. But as far as, like, celebrities, parties, whatnot, influencers, it's weekend one that it all happens. But I agree. Like, if it were, like, stagecoach and there were two weekends and I just really want to see like Luke Combs and enjoy my life I would go the second weekend a hundred percent people forget there's even a second weekend of Coachella right because everyone activates in the first weekend and after two years of putting it off there was a lot of activations to be had and it was like kind of chaotic yeah I mean just like on the

base level like I was watching TikToks of people who you know bought tickets whether it was general admission or VIP who showed up to the festival and were turned away like that they were at capacity what yeah which is like if you're paying for a ticket that's bullshit that's bullshit I didn't see that I haven't seen any TikToks any other than like what you've sent me right I feel like I could have probably had way more Coachella content if I was on TikTok and I thought about it but I was like no I will stick to Instagram stories and the people who I'm following who are there showing me the way. So let's talk about the positives first. I have to say I've been to Coachella. I've experienced Coachella. So I really didn't have a ton of FOMO because. No FOMO here. Because once you've been like, you know, but I did think that the Harry Styles performance was everything of

the sort. And that's something I would have liked to see. Even though like if you've been to Coachella, you know, like watching it on a live stream is so much more of a pleasant experience. You really can't see anything at Coachella. It's like chaotic. Yeah, his performance looks great. I had no FOMO when I was like watching everything from my phone.

It was just like out of sheer curiosity. And also like after two years of it being postponed and postponed, I was so curious to see like all the looks and the fashion. Cause I do feel like Coachella, even though it's like so extreme, like you do get a lot of like fashion inspo for it. And like if there's a trend that's hitting, like people go all out and you can see like what are the obvious trends. The fashion was really surprising.

There was very few looks or people who I was like, oh, that is adorable. No, I know. Everyone just looked kind of like silly with like just so many accessories. And then like seeing Hailey Bieber and Kendall walk in in like literal t-shirts and shorts, just like how a music festival should be enjoyed,

like casual. It's like low key, very... They made everyone else look so dumb. Like you're wearing a thousand hats and rhinestones and sheer and and necklaces and like the coolest people are just wearing like like tank tops and denim shorts jeans and a t-shirt right it was like kind of sad yeah and I thought that was going to be the vibe for this year like kind of pairing everything down and just like really casual I don't I think it's like a TikTok aesthetic like cool girl look or something uh okay yeah you know where it's just like Hailey Bieber style hold back and we got

some of that but we mostly got just like discarded looks from three years ago yeah it was it was a lot over the place and there was no clear theme of like what is the current style and maybe that's a sign of the times where it's like nobody knows how to dress anymore. Right. And I think when it comes to Coachella specifically I think people are just like throw the more shit on the better. More fringe, more beads, more hats, more everything. And it they just looked kind of like clowns. Yeah. I'm gonna be honest with you guys. You look like fucking clowns. Two years of wearing sweats like I think people just are a little rusty. There were some really good looks.

I'm not saying this about everyone, but in general, there was no clear theme that emerged. Trends that emerged. You know? The things you wish you would have worn. Yeah. Yeah. There was nothing that I was like, oh, that's what I would have worn if I were there. Right.

Now, Revolve is really like the center of Coachella. They've done a really good job for themselves of like being the place for clothing, the place for a good time, the place for the famous people. Even Kim showed up. Yeah, and you know, I actually saw this TikTok, I guess. Revolve had this deck that they had sent around internally just of their Coachella strategy. And it leaked somehow. And it was really interesting, like most um retail brands will consider q4

their highest time of year because of holiday sales um coachella q2 is actually revolves highest grossing time of year because there's no sales going on but all these influencers they give away like a bunch of free clothing but all the influencers wearing clothes from from coachella is their like their top source of revenue throughout the year. I mean, that makes so much sense. I mean, my whole feed is Revolve. And that's why they can afford to spend millions and millions of dollars putting on Revolve Fest. And for those who don't know, people seem to be very confused. It's not even a part of Coachella. When you go to Coachella, you know, the smaller acts, the lesser known artists will play during the day. And then

starting at like seven o'clock are like people you've heard of so a lot of people don't even go to the festival until dark and during the day there's like not that much to do except like hang at your house and swim so Revolve had this great idea to put on their own mini festival during the day when people usually aren't at the grounds yet yeah but it's mostly for like celebrities influencers but now it is so big I mean it looks like there were thousands of people there. Post Malone performed. Like, it is a festival unto itself. It's double the size when we were there. Is that confirmed?

No, I'm just guessing. No, but it was at the same place. I know, but I think in terms of people. And I think that's also because, like, Post Malone performed. Like, they always have performers and stuff, but, like, their headliner, like, rivals Coachella now. Yeah, and it is, up up until recently was invite only. So you were invited by Revolve either because you're an influencer or a celebrity or for whatever reason.

But this year they actually got a lot of heat before Coachella even happened. Because this email went around to a bunch of people that they shared on social media that was offering them an invite to Revolve Fest. But in order to get invited you have to spend $2,000 on the website. So it's like, okay. And a lot of people said that was greedy or whatever, and then now, knowing what actually ended up happening at Revolve Fest, people who did pay $2,000 on the website to not even be able to get in, like, that sucks.

Yeah. So I want to talk about the viral TikToks. I didn't see anything, and I feel like I even got an email like um inviting invite like just like flagging Revolve Festival if you're gonna be there like let us know because now I'm like here it's bestie it's back state oh if you're interested in attending say this kindly note this form does not guarantee entrance to Revolve Festival an official invite will be sent once your form has been submitted. And there's nothing about spending $2,000, but maybe different influencers get.

I think it's different tiers. And also, I have to submit my thing, and then maybe they would get back to me with something. So it takes place at the Merv Griffin Estate, which is an iconic Real Housewives of Orange County reference. If you know, you know. And basically, if you were staying at the festival with Revolve, they had their own hotel. If you were like a Revolve influencer, you were totally taken care of. Of course, but there's only like 50 people max. If you got invited to the festival in any other way, either by purchasing a ticket,

I know they were like using promoters in LA, any other way, you were told to show up to this like abandoned field in the middle of the desert for a shuttle to take you. And nobody knew where the party was, so they had to rely on these shuttles. And apparently what happened is, like, the buses never came. People were standing outside in a field in 100 degrees, fainting. There was no water, no shade, no food. And no one there being like, here's what's going on. It was just kind of a chaotic mess of, like, hundreds of influencers like stranded in a desert. Okay but I saw footage from like and everyone's saying

Revolve Festival, Fyre Festival and I just as someone who's like watching it from a distance like I'm sorry no it's not like they put on a festival there were thousands of people there so if you're saying only like the hotel Revolve people were able to go straight there and everyone else had to take buses that means they did bus in thousands of people to get there and apparently like the revolve verbiage to the people who were there was like show up on time and I think one or two maybe three hours after you were told to show up it became chaos at the shuttle station got it and I mean it's hard because I things go viral on TikTok and like people take such pleasure in this like takedown culture and it's people just like live for the schadenfreude and I'm just like not feeling it on this one like yes that is such a fucking bummer to have to wait there and but they did have buses

and they did have infrastructure and the festival was happening and plenty of people got there definitely way more than they bargained for but they oversold and at a certain point like if you can't get on the bus or the bus isn't coming like you go to the festival now we all saw that one girl who came to Palm Springs just to go to Revolve Festival she didn't even buy tickets to she's the video who's going viral oh I didn't see sorry I'm not sure okay she like was explaining her experience she was invited to Revolve Festival probably got the email she's an influencer and waited all day for the shuttle from one o'clock to seven o'clock and couldn't get on because the people who were getting on were the beasts.

Right, like shoving to the front. And like, that's not her style. And she didn't even buy tickets to Coachella. She only came to Palm Springs to go to the Revolve Festival. She said like she missed Easter with her family because like she was going to do this. And like, I'm sorry, but that's on you. Like people have choices and you chose that.

And like, sure, it's such, it sucks that that's how your weekend turned have choices and you chose that and like sure it's such it sucks that that's how your weekend turned out and like yeah in a perfect world you would have everything would have been you know organized to perfection like that's what happens when thousands of people want to go to Revolve Festival. So here's where I think Revolve is culpable. Okay. You cannot make someone pay for a ticket to an event that they can't get into. Did they pay for tickets? I believe some of them did. Okay because up until you just saying this to me I assume Revolve Festival is free. So another video that I saw was like there were four lines for the shuttles. One, two, three, and four and they all had different tiers I guess and I think and they said for the first couple hours only

people from line one were getting on the buses. I have to imagine that those were people who paid. You don't think those people with the most followers? I don't know. See that's the thing and like I don't know what Revolve is valuing but I just know for a fact that there are people who paid for an event and weren't able to go and like that is up and that's like criminal. Yeah that's up but I'm I've been operating under the premise that it is free because it's always been free. So I'm not 100% sure then but But I agree. Like you. And I haven't seen any TikToks or anything. But I only saw a few. That said that they paid.

So I agree. Like you out of your own volition. Spent your own time. Like waiting for an event. And it clearly wasn't going to happen. And you decided to stay there. And like that is on you. And that's like your choice.

But I also think. And I've always felt this way. Like when at Coachella. Like the whole environment. Not even Revolve. But just Coachella in general, like feels just like dangerously close to an emergency. Like it's in the desert.

It's so hot. It's so remote. There's a shortage of cabs, a shortage of everything. Because Palm Springs is not designed to have hundreds of thousands of people flocking to it for four days. So the whole event feels like dangerously close to like something bad happening. So hot. It's ungodly. Everyone's drinking, which dehydrates you. so the whole event feels like dangerously close to like something bad happening so hot it's it's ungodly drinking which dehydrates you it's always just felt to me like a little scary um and I agree

like if if this was and I wish I knew more logistics on like the paying versus the not but if it's like a totally free event that you wanted to go to and you weren't able to go to and you decided to spend five hours standing in the hot that is on you but also keep in mind like I can't imagine it was easy to get an uber out of that shuttle station no no it's hard to get an uber out of Coachella right it's just hard in general in general so I think there there is responsibility on revolve like for having knowing that many people were going to show up at a shuttle station and not having the infrastructure to get all those people there and maybe that's what they wanted they wanted to like create hype and make it like exclusive and and then they got to capacity and like no one could come um so I think like

when you're in current when you're having people show up in 100 degree heat in the middle of the day with no water no shelter and then not even buses showing up like there is saw buses and they were coach buses too so I saw videos with buses but like people were saying these were literally the only buses that came over the four or five hour period that I was there okay so then how did the thousands of people that I saw at Revolve Festival Post Malone get there I believe those people were on time to the shuttle station got it but again you really can't know unless you were there I guess they could have said to everyone like we're at capacity like go home please go home I think also what I saw was, like, there were people there, like, security, quote unquote,

who were supposed to be, like, counselors who were supposed to be organizing everyone. And they weren't doing anything. But it's also, like, you see the behavior of all of these swarms of people who are, like, there's no containing them. No, I agree. Like, there is an amount of personal liability on the people who decided to stand out there for six hours to see Post Malone. Like, you, it's it's not jail like you could leave um you could go to the festival you could go back to your house you could go get water you could go to a restaurant go to Taco Bell have

a soda like there's Revolve is culpable in the sense that like there it seemed like their event was chaotic not the event the event itself the logistics around the event were chaotic the transporting people there was chaotic. But also, where's the personal liability for you deciding not to spend Easter with your family, not to get Coachella tickets, just to fly across the country and miss the holiday to spend one day at Revolve Festival, which if you've ever seen it, it's just a content farm. Yeah, I think a lot of times it is more fun than it actually looks, but it's not a real thing. No, it's a content farm that's

the perfect like you walk around there's sick things happening and no one's really paying attention they're taking pictures like you go on the rides to take a picture and like because everybody's really working yeah you know and it's not in any in a negative way I actually think like considering everybody's working and it is like just a photo op it's actually more fun than a classic work event right but no that's what you chose to do I agree with what you're saying there's liability um on everyone like you you made that decision to stand with all these people and trust me if it were me like I would be so fucking pissed like and I don't know if I would make a TikTok or Instagram story like

because it's low-key like embarrassing that I decided to like thirst out so hard stand like with all these people when clearly it wasn't happening like go to correct your house yeah yeah or if you're gonna come to the desert for a weekend like make a weekend out of it out of it get Coachella tickets have options yeah because Coachella weekend is all about trying to get into parties that you might not get into right for everyone unless you're kim kardashian right right no it's true it's true we've been there we've been there oh been there been there big time i mean i don't think anything on the scale as big as this no no but like the frustration like even if you guys weren't waiting at a designated location even if you're waiting outside the actual party right like with the bouncers right you they can only let so

many people in it would have been a different like the same situation even if you're just waiting outside the more griffinistic right right right right it's just fucking chaos everywhere no and i think like the real reason why people are pissed is because where they were told to wait and and ended up waiting for so many hours was in the middle of the day high heat no shade desert no water the desert no you know tent for them to stand under like I saw a tent you did yeah I saw a tent oh I didn't see a tent what I was told was like there's no shade no water no resources so leave that's the point leave and it'll take you a long time to leave but like deciding to stand there for six hours your tent oh tent yes tent um deciding to stand there for six hours that's on

you yeah that's and maybe not what you want to hear but that is on you like wanting like the desperation to get into a revolt fest so that's what you did and it's just it's not fire festival right no because the festival itself the event where the ground the grounds where the event were actually happening was a smash they had a festival Jack Harlow food drinks carnival rides thousands of people it was but they they oversold the event yeah okay and I'm just learning now that tickets were sold because up until now or some there was some sort of like money exchange I just thought it was for a lot of people yeah but also I think people are also pissed because like Kim was there and clearly like

they probably paid her. Yeah. And so it's like they have all this money for things like that but they are not paying for more buses and water

at the transport station. But that's also like the core, one of the core tenets of like nightlife and partying is like exclusivity. Yeah.

So if a party, if everyone can go to a party it ain't that cool. Yeah. So that's just like a marketingivity. Yeah. So if a party, if everyone can go to a party, it ain't that cool. Yeah. So that's just like a marketing strategy. Yeah. So I think Revolve

is definitely like liable in some regards, but I think also it's important that every person who decided to stay six hours in the sun when they knew they probably weren't

getting to the party, like, and were just desperate to be at Revolve Fest, like, there needs to be personal liability taken. Accountability. Accountability. and how long would you have waited me I'm really not good in the heat like but it would have been the both of us so like I would have made you wait 20 minutes 20 minutes

I think no knowing me like I'm a bull von I would have found out where the party was and I took an uber straight to the party and like hopped hopped a fence well that's the thing I wonder if you have if you took an uber straight to the party like if you could walk into the party they were very um intentional about not letting people know where it was and we know where it was because we've been there twice before but most people don't know where the actual grounds are yeah so if they wanted to take an uber straight there they wouldn't even know what address to put in the location okay but if you knew the address could you walk through the door or you had to come in through a bus i think you could have walked through the door but once you got to the door you were told that they were at

capacity depend like it just depends on who you are and they give out wristbands of different colors for different tiers like if you have a certain wristband you can get into the private club area if you have a certain other color wristband you just get to walk the grounds so i think depending on what wristband you had if they were at capacity if you had like a really special wristband they would let you in but once they were at capacity you just had the regular general admission wristband it was like no got it okay but you're right it is a free event for most people I think um which means that not everyone is going to get to come and I mean the idea the what you're telling me about the Coachella festival being at capacity and people not being able to get in.

That's fucked up. Yes, I heard that too. That Coachella was turning people away, especially the first night. Because Harry's stage crowd size had like one of the biggest in Coachella history. Wow. It looked great, his performance. It looked amazing. Shania Twain was there.

It was everything of the sort. Such an interesting choice. Like you bring out one person and. Shania Twain was there. It was everything of the sort. Such an interesting choice. Like you bring out one person and the Shania Twain. Here for it completely. It's actually not that interesting if you like our One Direction Harry Stan. Like he has been obsessed with Shania Twain forever. You're Still the One is like one of his favorite songs. When he was on tour with Kacey Musgraves, she opened for him.

Every night she would come back out and sing that song, like a duet, really beautiful harmony with him. It's like one of his favorite songs. Oh, cute. So he's like a Shania Gurley. Cute. And I thought it was like the perfect, the perfect collab. Yeah, no, people were living for it and it was so good.

She killed it. Olivia Wilde was there too, like frolicking around the field in her fur coat. Also, it felt like very low on celebrities this year. Yes it used to be like a celebrity playground like you should spot them everywhere like now of course there's influencers and there were a handful of like traditional celebrities but a lot less than usual yeah it was just like hayley kardashians and that's because justin performed peaches with uh daniel caesar at the um at his at his yeah during his his set and also the kardashians were there because they always do eastern palm springs and like 818 was out

revolved so it was just like let's check out the festival there was a limited showing from like a-list talent yeah there's usually like so many models vanessa hudgens where was she oh yeah cacella girly cacella queen totally you know um all in all I was just like really living for the content in terms of influencers and their looks I think like honestly everyone looked stupid except for um Shannon Ford looked amazing but she's she is that girl so she has no choice to but to be that girl I thought Sophia LaCourte looked great I thought Sophia LaCourte looked amazing and that's really it I thought the sabotage girls looked so cute and Sophie Suchan was my best dress of the whole weekend. Agreed. Did I oh and day three I just saw it was sickening as well. It had like a butterfly top. Yeah but

overall just like everyone was like doing the most trying the hardest and overall like at a glance looking at the event you know from a bird's eye perspective it was a bunch of like losers being losers you know. And like and and if you've been there like you just know it's even more loser in person you know yeah yes and no because like every time we've been we actually have like a genuinely good time that's us like we we are not content we like take one picture and then we're tired we're like okay can we please like just enjoy and you know what and if we weren't having a good time we would leave right and like we we just know how to have fun like we found pot we we were just like the first time ever we were

like is that should we smoke like we were like saying should we do acid we were like should we smoke pot I mean it's so much fun like we really enjoyed the festival we didn't do like a ton of parties and so I think there's definitely a way to have a lot of fun at Coachella but I just think with each year that passes it becomes more and more of like a work obligation yeah and less and less fun which is why Stagecoach is the weekend to go yeah there's no parties like corporate greed it's just I also feel like in the past there have been so many competing parties during the day and I feel like most other brands have given up now it's been like Revolve, Take the Wheel. Or a lot of brands activate at Revolve.

Like every single station is branded. And those brands are paying for the event. I'm sure Revolve spends a lot less money than people think. Yeah, totally. And they always have sponsors. The last time we were there, what's that food delivery? DoorDash. DoorDash was like the number one sponsor.

They have tons of sponsors. You're right. It's definitely an expensive party to throw and they definitely spend a couple million dollars, but not... Of their money specifically. Yes. No, I think they spend a couple million dollars

of their own money specifically, but the whole event in its entirety costs $20 million. With all the performers, the grounds, the food, the liquor, everything,

the carnival rides. It's insane. Plus, I mean, hotel. Hotel. Oh, and then also paying the girls the girls the influencers like the top tier influencers who actually get to go with revolve paying them it's a very expensive event but they don't pay for all of it yeah i think a lot less than people would think yeah so it was just very interesting i hope everyone who stood outside in

the desert is recovered and is really thinking about their choices i agree i agree but because you know what at the end of the day revolve totally liable but you did stand out there for all those hours knowing you probably weren't going to make it like you did do that you did and for what so you can get an instagram like that's where right that's where our values are right now. As a society, like our priorities are out of whack. Yeah, I agree. Out of fucking whack. Agree. Go home for Easter.

Go home. Are you ready for our next story? Yes, ma'am. You feel Coachella'd out? Coachella. Any other performances that stood out to you? No. Megan Thee Stallion's performance looked amazing. Just from like stalking TikTok, maybe I got into a rut because I watched so much Harry

content. I was only served Harry content. Got it. That's all I saw. Oh, and of of course like Harry content we fucking love and right did you know that his new album is called Harry's house I'm gonna have to buy all the merch so apparently the merch at Coachella was so sick did anyone get me anything bring it to Claudia's meet and greet you can find it on Poshmark for one million dollars I drank out of my Ray Dogg mug this morning I fuck I meant to take a picture I do feel different i just want to say like i understand why we're all laughing at

ray dunn but i also understand the love and the hype of course like it's it's so cute do you want more like don't get crazy but like if you guys are thinking like would jackie want ray dunn to bring to the meet and greet like yeah okay no I'll like I fuck with it I'll do some searching it's just it was exact saw my monkey he's like what a cute mug that for you it's like not you I said the toasters um so yeah I'm I'm feeling this right Ray Dunn girly Ray Dunn girly yeah okay switching gears completely cuz Rihanna would never. The influencer blogger is apologizing for the reckless Rihanna and ASAP Rocky rumor that started last week. So I saw.

That didn't start. That he started. That he started. That like everyone just believed. That got so much press. But this person like we never, I never heard of. And now it's like completely untrue. Yeah, of course and like

I just hate shit like this like first of all I hate that as a society we just like believe what random people on the internet say yeah especially when when I was reporting on this last week I've never heard of this influencer but his claim to fame is like Vogue or Paper Magazine refer to him as the messiest fashion influencer on the internet right now so like he's known for being like a menace and we all just believed it. And like, these are real people. I just hate this shit. These are real people. She is so pregnant.

Like who needs this? And they're back in Barbados now. I think she's probably going to give birth there. That's what I saw. Which is so cute. They seem to be very happy. I like hate this man. Yeah.

Well, he's apologizing. He said last night I made a dumb decision to tweet some information I had received. I'm not going to talk about sources, blame others for a discussion that was started because at the end of the day, I made the decision to drop that tweet press send and put that out with my name on it I'd like to formally apologize to all parties I involved with my actions and for my reckless tweets this is like so embarrassing and to the general public who hadn't heard of this guy like this is going to be our association with him for a very long time

and now I just like if I ever read anything with his name in it I'm just gonna be like liar credibility is shot out the window and especially with like a pregnant woman like you just don't do that like you can't now she's probably like so stressed like it's just I'm sure like for Rihanna like she's fine you know but like to say you heard this rumor and say whether or not it was true or not like to put that out there when she is like so pregnant it's just what what are you trying to achieve no and the rumor got like so far as to amina mawadi heading to having to put out a statement right so it wasn't nothing it wasn't harmless like it was harmful it was harmful full of harm full of it and these are just people who i don't think deserve harm no don't get me wrong there are definitely people out there who deserve harm like i have a whole list rihanna asap and Amina Mawadi are not those people. No, they are not.

And I just hate people who's like claim to fame on the internet. It's like just starting stuff. Yeah. And I'm seeing a lot of that recently. Because you get rewarded for it in this culture. Like you become famous. Your lies become facts. Like people are upset. Like we live in this moronic culture where we just believe everything we read. So people like this guy, I'm not even sure of his name, are going to become like sources. So one random guy said something on the internet. I say shit all the time. No one listens to me.

Like why now? Why this rumor? It's that. It's like just making shit up about people, which we see a lot. But it's also like this just like complain culture, which brings it back to the Revolve Fest. Of like just something didn't go your way you're gonna complain about it like and everyone is just gonna live for it and i'm just not really even if your gripe is valid legitimate yeah but this is completely illegitimate you can't just make stuff up about people yeah and you know what if rihanna

wanted to like she probably has grounds to sue for libel because you just make some random fucking shit up and press send yeah where is the accountability yeah and I never want people to get sued but I do think it would like set a precedent for like the next time some tiktokers like yeah I had sex with Kanye West you might think twice you might think twice you might still do it but you think twice I thought twice yeah are you ready for our next story? Yeah. No. You're not ready. I don't think you're ready. I mean, is it the story that's brought to you by Framebridge? Every story is brought to us by Framebridge.

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interview that she has the experience to understand women and what they want out of life and their clothes. She said, I understand the mentality of all women and I understand loving where you're at or wanting more or wanting something better. I understand that. She said she had to grapple with weight struggles all in the public eye, but finally has gotten to a place where she is comfortable and amazed in her

skin. She said, I always celebrate my body. The fact that it made children is unreal, she said of her three kids. But you just don't ever think you're going to fit back into things. I feel you, girl. It's crazy. A woman's body is phenomenal in what it can do.

She recently shared a photo of herself wearing a bikini to flaunt her figure and credited her results to hard work, determination, and self-love. She admitted that she cried tears of joy at reaching the milestone after having been devastated by her size at the end of her pregnancies. She said that she threw out her scale following years of body image struggles after she had her kids. I just love her. This just speaks to my soul right now.

I just, you know, if I had to get married again, which I hope to never do. You would marry Jessica Simpson? No, I think that, like, I really do believe she, no one on the planet understands a woman's body better than her. And like, I would have her make my wedding dress. Like if that was an option. Okay. I would also marry her.

If that was an option. I just didn't know where you were going with it. But no, I think this is all like, I think all the, a lot of the interviews she does right now is to promote her as like a designer. Because you know, she now owns 100% of her Jessica Simpson collection company and so that's very much like her priority and it's true like when I think of buying clothing like I want to buy it from someone like Jessica Simpson who's been all sizes who knows what you need at a bigger size or at a smaller size and just because you need a bigger

size doesn't mean you have to wear an ugly fucking smock dress like like I would like I trust this woman with my life. I totally agree. I'd take a bullet for her. You would. 100%. You're taking a lot of bullets. That's me. But I really, and I say that as, like, a euphemism, but with Jessica Simpson, it's 100% facts. It really is.

Just when you think, like, she's been kind of quiet recently and ever since, like, the fanfare from us over her book. Like, I just. But also from everyone, not just us. I love, like, every few months, like like a re-upping of Jessica Simpson's Stanhood. And especially now when she's like speaking directly to me about what it feels like to not be sure if your clothes are ever going to fit again. And honestly, reading this just gives me like more hope and patience is really what requires.

Like, I'm not trying to be hard on myself or anything, but like a girl's got to dress. Girl's got to eat. Girl's got to be clothed. Yeah, right. No, I completely agree. I think Jessica Simpson is all of us. She's truly. A woman of the people. She's an American woman.

She is. I just love this queen with every fiber of my being. Following her on Instagram. She gives off Britney Spears vibes with like a lot of emojis and a lot of like unique angles. But we live for it. We for it it's not completely comparable she does like no no I said I didn't say it was the same it gives off a little bit

of the energy okay yeah I feel that but you just can just tell she's excited about what she's posting I just love her like she and she always gives us a glimpse she lives this just lavish life she just recently posted about a birthday party for one of her kids that I forget the theme but it was like something themed and she went all out and it was like a beautiful party at her property in Malibu. Like it was, she gets like overlooked a lot, I think because she's not so in the public eye anymore. But when we think of like celebrities, we want to, you know, switch lives for a day.

Like you need to see that house. Yeah. She like, people forget like she's rich. Yeah. Rich, rich. Love that for her. And I'm like 80% happy, like 20% jealous. That's healthy for you.

Yeah. Okay, like 70-30, but yeah. Still healthy. 60-40. Are you ready for our next story? The drama, which I have yet to discuss with you, but I know you've talked about it a few times, of Elon Musk trying to buy Twitter and the Twitter board is now adopting a poison pill plan to thwart Elon

from buying Twitter for the proposed 43 billion dollar takeover that he is trying to enact. And tell me what a poison pill is because you know I have no idea. So basically they are trying to get other people to buy more shares by devaluing the price of their stock therefore like diluting. It's literally like the gilded age. Yeah. Isn't that what he did when those you know church elders tried to oust him? No he bought up all his stock because he could. Right right right. But I don't think. It's giving similar energy. I don't think that these board members can. If you've seen the list of board members and how much stock they own, aside from Jack, the initial founder, not one of them owns more than 1%.

Elon is now at 9%. Yeah, so I don't fully understand the economics behind all of this. But I do understand... It's a lot. But here's what I understand. I understand simple business logic. And I understand that Twitter is beyond irrelevant. As a platform, I don't think they generate a lot of revenue.

And I just think in the social ecosystem, like they're literally the worst app, everyone would agree. You know, kids coming of age in social media have every single social media app except for Twitter. So here is a guy, for whatever his own reasons are, like wants to give you $50 billion for your irrelevant, stupid app. Take it. Like that's just business.

But the thing is, they don't want the money. They want control. And they want power. And they want the ability to content moderate, censor what goes on on Twitter. And Elon wants the opposite. So I just feel like, for me, like, money is always going to win. And if I was a shareholder, I'd be like, fuck this.

I want out of this loser company. The thing is, like, at a certain point, if they continue to, like, make bad financial decisions on behalf of the shareholders, it is a public company, shareholders can sue. The thing is, at a certain point, if they continue to make bad financial decisions on behalf of the shareholders, it is a public company, shareholders can sue. Right, right, right. But they would literally

rather get into that mess than let Elon take the wheel. And what is Elon's plan for Twitter? He's been running all these funny polls on his things about changes

that he would make, like things like an edit button, which is now coming. But in general, he wants free speech. So I think the plan would be to be a little more hands-off and then also um what else was he asking people if they would want like just tweaks to the to the platform to the platform like different features yeah yeah I mean I can't like I really don't understand because for me like I'm always gonna lead with money like whatever

decision is gonna make me the most money and that's just me being a smart businesswoman and maybe these like you know closed-minded shareholders I can't see my vision but my vision leads with green and I just don't understand like I would be embarrassed to be on the Twitter board because like it's like the loseriest company and I can't imagine you make a lot of money from being especially if you're like turning down money right so like someone comes like let's say oh this is like for me this is the analogy like I'm on this sinking ship and I'm gonna die and someone's like here you want a life raft I'm like nah right like I don't understand because for me I'm always gonna take the 43 billion dollars but maybe I'm just not like

other girls maybe you're not like other board members I'm not like other investors that's for damn sure no I think it's them who are not like other investors yeah I think most investors are interested in the green in generally speaking but you know people really don't like Elon Musk and I know like billionaires are not you know universally loved but um I was seeing some stuff going on on Twitter just like different reactions to when Jeff Bezos right bought the Washington Post I didn't even know that he owned the Washington Post the newspaper um and everyone was like woohoo and then Elon wants to buy Twitter I'm like it's bad so I don't really understand but that's I think just people's like biases yeah so for me

I just don't understand like not wanting 43 billion dollars that's kind of where my head is stuck yeah and I don't understand not wanting to give the reins to Elon like everything he touches turns to gold it's true he's the richest man on the planet no I don't want your help like couldn't be me couldn't be me couldn't be me go maybe Elon if Elon isn't if Elon is Elon if Elon is in the business of purchasing media companies like we are for sale we are for sale but i think because one thing about me is i can be bought 100 100 but i don't know what elon would even want to do with us like i think he would be like and plus we are so he would we speak so glowingly about him yeah no he would literally be like here's 43 billion dollars

keep doing what you're doing. That I could agree to. No, that's a deal. So I just wanted to put it out there because he's obviously just like writing checks. We are for sale. We can be bought. Yes, we can. And we will say whatever you want us to say. Because Teslas are the best cars on the planet.

But they are. And all these billionaires who want to go to space, no one does it quite like Elon. And he's so handsome and just the perfect father and a wonderful person. So we would like $43 billion. Thank you. Where's the lie though? $43 billion, please.

Where's the lie? Are you ready for our fifth and final story? A little cargo news? Cargo pants? No, like cargo ships. Oh, Evergreen? Yeah, Evergreen's like sister ship got stuck in the Chesapeake Bay, and everybody's quaking. And everyone wants to recreate the magic of the Suez, but it's not.

You can't. You can't. You can't. Even if Evergreen got stuck in the Suez again, it would not be the same. It wouldn't be the same. All of these copycats. Try as you may. And I know that this guy got stuck in the Chesapeake on purpose because he wanted attention.

And I'm just saying, we're not giving you the attention. You will never be Suez. You will never be 2020 evergreen moment you're a fraud you are fake no matter how many Chanel bags you borrow you will never be a lady 100% these copycats have got to quit it and also you're fucking with our cargo now you know now it's not funny like you wanted attention but like now you know like we could sacrifice chain we could sacrifice what was on that ship because the Suez situation brought us together. Of course. But this now you're just messing with people's furniture orders.

No, you're messing with the supply chain and the supply chain is already fractured. Like stop. It's not the vibe. Yeah. So suddenly, you know, for centuries, everyone has known how to drive a cargo boat. But up until this year, it's like everyone forgot. Thirsty fucking cargo ships. Attention whores stop well after weeks of tugging pulling digging and dumping the 1095 foot cargo ship

ever forward was pried from the muddy clutches of the chesapeake bay on sunday morning so such loser energy beyond loser energy like stop we see right through you and all your antics this is not what we need and this is not what we were referring to no and like these things have to be organic and it's just right it's planned at this no it's giving it's giving fraudulence it is and try as you may like you will never be the evergreen suez moment but keep trying sweetie yeah actually don't keep trying okay because some of us are waiting for our furniture deliveries for seven months like you're fucking with it hundred percent hundred percent and i feel as though nice try though and i i feel like

maybe they got confused because like for example we were so here for the suez moment like it was my favorite story of 2020 same and so maybe they thought they were giving us more and i just needed to let everyone know and put that in there to let you guys know to stop. It is not the vibe. Yeah. It's just like, it's giving loser. And that's on you being a loser. So that's something you have to live with.

I'm going to move on with my life. And I'm going to unburden myself. There's a lot of things that are giving loser today. I know. Oh, my God. But like that's ever since, what was that story that we initially started Loser Energy from? Caroline Calloway. Right.

There was like that big influencer scandal. And I don't really remember what happened. But it just seemed like. The girl wrote, was writing her captions. And then the girl like wrote an expose about it. And everyone was like, the girl, the girl. And it just seemed like everyone, girl included, like was being losers. It was loser on loser crime.

And once you just kind of look at the world and like every situation as just really seeing like the true loser energy within every person you will feel so free yeah and like looking at every situation like if you were sitting on your couch this weekend being like oh my wish is that Coachella just see them all as losers and everything will change everything has changed. With that, I think we should unburden ourselves. Please.

So Unburden Yourselves is our Monday segment where you can write in and unburden yourself with something embarrassing you did over the weekend and we're just going to help you feel better about it.

We're not going to try and change you. We're just going to take that burden and squish it. Un it. So release it. Thank you. You can write in

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That's BowlingBranch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D, branch.com. Promo code toast for 20% off through the end of April. Okay. First girly girl is unburdening herself after an uncomfortable dinner with her in-laws. Hi, ladies. Long-time listener. First time unburdener. This past weekend, I was with my boyfriend's family for Easter.

One of the nights we went out to dinner, it was was a nicer restaurant so I wore a cute little sundress the city we were in is hot but the restaurant was freezing and I didn't bring a sweater and my dress was strapless throughout the meal my boyfriend's mom kept offering me her sweater and it was really sweet of her but it was so cold in the restaurant I kept declining because I felt bad that she'd be cold she offered several times but I declined for a while I ended up going to the bathroom and as I look in the mirror while washing my hands, I notice that my nipples are beaming through my dress. Like, full-blown high beams.

I could have taken someone's eye out if they got too close. I immediately wanted to die because then it occurs to me that my boyfriend's sweet mother definitely saw and was offering the sweater to help me out, and I stupidly declined. I put all my hair in front of my face to cover my nips for the rest of the evening, and I prayed no one else saw. Of course, I texted my boyfriend from the table, and he and he was cracking up meanwhile i was melting in my own embarrassment feels good to get that off my chest literally signed a nippy not so toasty toaster listen you didn't know it's a part of life it's also it's like not that embarrassing it's not that embarrassing and i think for the mom like she was clearly trying to help and i think that you coming back from the bathroom with your hair and from your nipples like just showed oh my god I just realized this is not

who I want to be and I'm sorry and I think like the woman to woman signaling I feel like she got that and this is why it's important like never to cut your hair below your above your nipples because you never know when for me like my hair is a protection I don't really get hard nipples that much my nipples like don't work that way. But I have like big face syndrome. I always have stains like spaghetti sauce like right up here. And having long hair is such a security blanket. And that's why I'm just not here for like short hair. Yeah, I think also why this wouldn't apply to us.

I feel like she was wearing a sundress without a bra, you know. Which is... If you always have to wear a bra like... A luxury not all of us are afforded there's more protection yeah another layer right so that wouldn't happen this isn't that bad especially because the it seems like you're obviously trying to impress your in-laws and she wasn't being a bitch about it she was like genuinely trying to help so it seems like you have a nice mother-in-law yeah I think I think it's totally fine like obviously not ideal not

ideal and I understand like wearing a sundress and it's because it's hot outside you know what I've recently done like the last few summers that I would just like to extend to everyone try a pashmina like because you don't want to ruin your outfit with the sweater like it doesn't call for a sweater but the restaurant can get really cold sometimes it gets cold at night I've been bringing a pashmina around in the summer and it's such a vibe and it just really elevates your look it's an extremely elegant rich Nantucket mother thing to do it really is you know she gets on her porch she wraps her pashmina she contemplates divorce it's so chic but like anybody can wear a pashmina so why don't we all know it's so true pashminas are completely universal and completely underrated so just get one pashmina yeah they sell them on the street in New York for like a dollar. In a color that

works with any outfit. Just throw it in the wash and it's good. And then for the next time you don't have to worry about it. So that's my tip of the day. Pashminas. Pashmina. I love that. You know what I'm thinking? Pashminas. Hey let's fold pashminas. I would love to. All right next up. Hello Jackson Claude. Love you both so much. As avid music lovers and concert goers, I hope you can understand where I'm coming from when I tell you about the most vile thing I did last week. I was at a Justin Bieber concert and I had floor seats that were incredible. I'm a Belieber for life,

so this wasn't just any concert for me. About a third of the way through the concert, I finished my drink and all of a sudden I had a shooting pain in my stomach. Since I had such amazing seats, leaving to go to the bathroom would simply not be an option because I knew someone would have taken it by the time I got back so rationally while everyone around was

getting their soul snatched by Biebs I squatted down and I peed in my cup in the middle of the concert in the middle of the concert as soon as the show ended the people started shuffling out and I heard someone yell it smells like piss and puss down here I got out unscathed but I kindly asked to unburden myself for my unhinged behavior that's insane that's disgusting like I'm all for public urination I really am like not near other people because you know you're all of our fluids carry different bacteria diseases like I just don't think it's nice to be peeing in front of other other people and not to be that girl but like imagine if a guy next to you like whipped out his penis and started peeing like it's gross yeah like it's traumatizing yeah that's like really crazy also it feels even

not to make you feel worse because you obviously already feel bad not to make you feel worse and like you didn't you got away with it for the most part so it is what it is I have like so many different thoughts about it and also it's just reminding me like I saw this headline of Kim Kardashian saying on Ellen that like she'll do anything for fashion like even wear something if she has to wear a diaper with it like maybe if you're this kind of girl who can't miss a song to pee wear a diaper to the concert well I am that that type of girl but you know I have this gift it's really I don't think I've ever spoken about this gift uh like at a concert I always pee like I'm the girl who pees three times during a movie and it's because I I think I think I don't know the

medical reason but I think it's because my fupo weighs like really heavy on my bladder and it's because I think, I think, I don't know the medical reason, but I think it's because my fupo weighs like really heavy on my bladder and it's just like science. So I am that girl. And I always am having like cocktail after cocktail. Drinking makes you pee. I am that girl. Like I will pee more than. Sorry, that's duh.

Drinking alcohol. I am that girl. Like I will pee multiple times during an event and I have this gift. And I guess like I'm not a GA girl. Like I'd rather have the worst seat in the house than stand GA during a concert I need to know the gift that you have I can pee like I can get from my seat to the bathroom and back in 30 seconds like I will sprint I will pee so fucking fast and while I'm peeing I'm multitasking I'm getting the toilet paper ready yeah I'm fixing my lipstick and yeah sometimes I won't wash my hands and I'll back. Like I can get to and fro in 45 seconds.

And you're the one saying like germs. Yeah. You're concerned with her germs peeing on the floor. Yeah. But you won't wash your hands like in Madison Square Garden. No, I'll grab a little hand sanitizer on my way out. That's a good thing about COVID. There's sanitizer everywhere.

Okay, that's fine. That's acceptable. I just don't feel like if you're going to pee three times in an hour, like you have to wash your hands every time. At Madison Square Garden? Yeah. Oh, speaking of Madison Square Garden, that is where I will be May 5th

for my final comedy show yeah check it out girlwithnojob.com slash tour Jackie will be there and this is the first show she's seen because she doesn't support

my comedy career no I'm totally kidding but it is the first show she's going to see so like experience that with Jackie yeah I'm so excited I actually just ordered

a potential outfit I need to do that and I hope it works because it's exactly what like I need to be wearing like something that would be like flattering and also like pleating I love that for you is it a hope it works because it's exactly what like I need to be wearing like something that would be like flattering and also like

I love that for you is it a suit what is it it's a dress because I respect for the arts and no it's like we're going to the theater

like let's all dress up and pay respect to the queen who we're seeing a hundred percent we have just back to the Justin Bieber thing

one other thought also at like a Justin Bieber concert there's weirdly like a lot of kids so that just also makes it worse like it's not like

you're at a festival where everyone pisses and shits on the ground it's true like know your audience it's true and it's just not acceptable and I'm sorry that I have to be the one to say that I know and like I know you already feel bad because you know to get to a point where you're emailing us about something embarrassing you did like it's a low point for sure so I don't want to make you feel better worse but it's not good it's not good and all I'll say is just don't do it again don't do it again we can forgive once is just don't do it again. Don't do it again. We can forgive once.

Right. Just don't do it again. I want to forgive you and I want to forget you. And if you feel the need to do it again, wear a diaper. Like I was in diapers for the past few weeks and they're kind of incredible. Yeah, but you weren't like peeing on yourself, were you? No. Like if you had to pee, you weren't like, oh, I'm wearing a diaper.

Let me just pee in my diaper. No, no. You went down to the bathroom. I would rather pee in my diaper than pee on the floor at a concert. Yeah. No, honestly. So for her. I would rather miss one song than pee on the floor.

Right, but she wouldn't. No, but also logistically, she's on the floor. Like, it does take a long time in an arena to get, like, up. Because the bathroom, there's no floor bathrooms. Yeah. You just walk up the stairs. It's a lot. Diaper.

I understand. Diaper. Diaper. All right, our third and final one. Claudia and Jackie, I'm. Diaper. Diaper. All right, our third and final one. Claudia and Jackie, I'm still so mortified about this. On Saturday, my boyfriend and I were doing the most wholesome thing. Oh, I read this one before. It's disgusting. On Saturday, my boyfriend and I were doing the most wholesome thing. On Saturday evening, for a couple in their 20s, we decided to have dinner with his grandparents and then hanging out by them. Beautiful. On the way over to to their house i decided to spice things up a bit and give my boyfriend roadhead

obviously my hands were involved as i'm trying not to puke lol and i just planned to go to the bathroom and wash my hands shortly after arriving not to be gross i kid you not a minute after i walk in the door his grandma was raving about this new mustard she ordered online and how i must try it immediately i tried to excuse myself to run to the restroom but she was dead set. So she opens up this jar of mustard and is like just dip your finger in and try it. Much to my dismay I obliged and dipped my BJ covered finger in her mustard jar. I am mortified by the fact that her mustard now has remnants of her grandson's blowjob in it. I can't even bring myself to tell my boyfriend that this happened. Well that's just unfortunate it's really unfortunate um

and moment of silence for grandma's mustard yeah yeah um okay you need to go over to grandma's house find the mustard you need to go to church and repent you need to go over to grandma's house find the mustard throw it away grandma cannot be using this mustard no you also need to go over to grandma's house find the mustard throw it away grandma cannot be using this mustard no you also need to like write down the name of the mustard and buy her a new one and maybe just swap it out and just pray that in the time that the delivery takes she doesn't have to use it but also like gran insisting that you stick your finger in her mustard in a pandemic is a little crazy i just feel like you could have tried harder. I agree. To wash your hands because if she's like, dip your finger in, it's like, oh wait,

I just took an Uber. So let me just wash my hands before. A hundred percent. I just feel like you really could have tried harder. It's not like she had a gun to your head. It's not like she grabbed your wrist and took your finger and dipped it. Right.

You could have tried harder. Everyone is responsible. Everyone is culpable. But you especially. But you knew and Gran didn't know. Gran didn't know and you knew't know. And you knew. I just really feel like you didn't try your best to wash your hands before dipping your finger in the mustard. And where was your boyfriend?

He knew. Right. Where was he? He could have blocked. I just. He could have said, I'll try the mustard, Gran. Right. He could have said, use my finger.

Like, it's clean. Whatever. Yeah. I just feel like you didn't try hard enough. Or you could have, like, grabbed a fork. Like, there were so many things you could have done to avoid this and you didn't and that's on you that's really circling back to personal accountability that we were talking about at the top of the show yeah you could have done more and you didn't and you put

gran in harm's way and that's not cool but gran is reckless for sure but you know what at least we're like you know boosting gran's immunity we're like, you know, boosting Gran's immunity. Hopefully. That's important. Immunity is important. It is. Pray for Gran's mustard. Her immune system is just rock hard. Damn. With grandkids like you, who needs enemies?

Okay. Well, thank you for sharing, everyone. Y'all are crazy. Again, if you want to write in. But please keep writing. Yeah. We'll try. Like, I try not to

judge but these girls made it hard um if you want to write in again it's unburdened yourselves plural no now your burden has been und right you've been und and therefore you can be free and there's really nothing better than being und and free nothing at all living und and wild and free that's my. That's my, that's my new theme song. So thank you everyone for listening to today's episode of The Toast. Jackie, it's been a pleasure having you here.

You're getting all your songs out because you didn't sing once. I didn't sing once today. And it really has been a pleasure doing business with you. Thank you so much for being here. Anything you want to say to The Toasters before you come back? this week is jackie's back two days a week now we're getting gearing back up for full-time jackie oh we are gearing back up a lot of people are like please tell me jackie's coming back full-time after a lot of people i saw some even ben was like is jackie coming i'm like are you kidding me um yes of course i saw some fake news that was like when did we ever say we always said like month three like guys it's been two months like regular work is three months so give me a break don't

start coming for me until it's month three and and i'm still not and you're nowhere to be found right but no we're revving it up i mean it's definitely getting easier getting here so that's good um yeah you got here early today i'm just such an early bird yeah because i woke up at the fucking crack of dawn and i just didn't go back to sleep because I think it's harder to go back to like wake up from like a 30 minute spurt than it is to just stay up. Agreed. You know,

that's what I'm learning. Well, thank you so much for being here. And this is the first day that I've come into the studio where I did not get a migraine from the adventure. We're all winning here today.

it's getting better. Thank you so much for listening to the Morning Show. It's the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching

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We'll see you tomorrow with Ben in studio. We've got a great week. Remy Bader's coming. Tayshia's coming. And we're finishing

the week off back with Jackie O. So we're just sandwiching Jackie beginning and end. It's going to be great. And we'll a great week. Remy Bader's coming. Tayshia's coming. And we're finishing the week off back with Jackie O. So we're just sandwiching Jackie beginning and end. It's going to be great. And we'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Love ya. Bye.