The Toast - Stability of the Realm: Wednesday, January 10th, 2024

Episode Date: January 10, 2024

Todd and Julie Chrisley Receive $1 Million Settlement in Lawsuit Alleging Misconduct in Investigation Against Them (PEOPLE) (26:54)Selena Gomez abruptly quits social media (again) after Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet drama (NY Post) (32:10)Emily Blunt attends Governors Awards solo after her conversation with John Krasinski goes viral (Page Six) (34:46)Simone Biles' Husband Jonathan Owens Talks Again About Having 'No Clue' Who She Was Before They Met (PEOPLE) (42:11)Jennifer Lawrence dishes on her 'stressful' star-studded wedding day, telling Robert De Niro to 'go home' (Page Six) (46:57)Dear Toasters Advice Segment (55:04)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) Lean InThe Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to The Toast and happy Wednesday! Oh my god! It's hump day. Hope everybody's having a great day thus far. A great day of the week here. And speaking of great, speaking of humping, and speaking of here, it's Jackie O. Hey everyone.

Hey, how y'all doing? Hey, how y'all doing? Hey, how y'all doing? How you doing? What? How you doing? I'm good. I'm exhausted. You know, going on five months of not having a sleep period of longer than three to four

hours is really starting to wear at me. No, it's enough. I know. Yeah, I'm just tired. And then the story stunk today. Oh, no. I've been And then the story stunk today. Oh no. I've been searching fruitlessly for like so long. I mean, I have five stories and they're fine.

It just compounded what was already an exhausting morning. Let me tell you the good news. One, it's Wednesday. We have dear toaster. So if the story stinks, like we still have good shit. We still have good shit. True. Two, two. We have dear toaster. So if the story stinks, like we still have good shit. We still have good shit. True. True.

True. We can always talk about ourselves. And that's such a relief. No. And it's like, the stories are relevant, but still we need stories, you know?

You know what? That's so funny. And there's such a, Jackie. The stories that I choose are a reflection of me. And when they're not giving anything worth giving,

it reflects poorly on your girl so funny that you said that because last night I was actually thinking like what if just one day not forever but like just on a rogue episode we just like fucked the fast five you know should we do it if there were to be a day today would be be the day. But it actually wouldn't because sometimes like there's so much to talk about in our personal lives, like a Monday, maybe a long weekend. And we just like have so much to say that we could fuck the fast five a little bit. But I feel like today it's just Wednesday. We caught up yesterday.

There's not that much new news. I mean, I actually have like a major life update to share with the group can you share with the class yeah do I Jackie do I look different to you at all well you're wearing an updo oh well yeah I'm wearing my hair in a bun because it's so dirty and I'm gonna work out today but that's not what I was talking about well that's you do look different and that's why yeah I guess like that is low-key psychotic of me. I can probably count on my hands the amount of times I've worn my hair up on the show in the last seven years. Today is probably number four or five. But no, I was talking about my face. A lot of people are talking about like

me looking really different. And I, yes, okay, you caught me. I got a lash lift. Every like a few years, I remember that lash lifts are a thing. And I'm really blessed. Like I have very, very long eyelashes, but like they dart straight out. You would never know. They don't hold a curl well. I can't even really like mascara is like useless for me. And I was like, oh my God. Yeah. Lash lifts. Let me try that again. And every time I get it, I need to get on a routine where like I make an appointment every two months, like add it to my beauty routine because I'm obsessed I feel different I'm not even wearing mascara you do look nice right but I also like your hair up thank you I you know

actually this is a good way for me to promote something I want to talk about um I normally wouldn't wear my hair up but these these days, you know, I'm feeling very confident. I'm on this health journey, this fitness journey. And putting my hair up for, you know, an hour on the podcast, like doesn't scare me as much as it used to. And speaking of health and fitness, I recorded a solo podcast. I said I would and I did. And I had such a blast.

And 45 minutes just flew by. I wasn't even, you know, sometimes when you record a solo episode, it's like, oh, how many minutes did I do? 11. Oh, God. Did you hone your solo podcasting skills? I definitely brushed up on my solo podcasting skills.

People are kind of praising me as a solo podcaster of our generation. Am I out of a job? Nobody said like, fuck Jackie. But nobody also said like, missed Jax on this one, you know? No, none of you said that. Can't come to your girl's defense. Well, it's up on Patreon now. but nobody also said like Miss Jax on this one, you know? No, none of you said that. Can't come to your girl's defense. Well, it's up on Patreon now.

It is a 45 minute question and answer for all the questions people have remaining about Ozempic. And I also give an update in me and Ben's Ozempic journey because the last time I talked about Ozempic and did a whole podcast about it, Ben had gone off of it and I was still on it. Now I don't want to spoil things, but things have kind of been shaken up in my home and you know, things are different. I don't want to, things, but things have kind of been shaken up in my home and

things are different. I don't want to, you know, I gave the Patreon exclusive. I'm going to let you guys listen. So patreon.com slash a toast. Any remaining questions you have about Ozempic, the journey, side effects, going off, anything. We talked a lot about like, you know, food stuff. Enjoy that. And if food and diet and exercise aren't for you, just don't listen to it.

Like you don't have to make a federal case. You just don't have to listen to it. Just skip that one. There's going to be great stuff coming up this month. Yes. I'm also headed to Mexico after this episode. So housekeeping announcement is that tomorrow and Friday's episodes will be audio only. I will be bringing my microphone with me.

So don't worry. We're going to take the long weekend because it's Martin Luther King weekend. So we're not in studio. There's no show on Monday. So I hope everybody has some fabulous plans for the long weekend. I can't believe it's like so early in the year. We're already blessed with Luther King weekend. So we're not in studio. There's no show on Monday. So I hope everybody has some fabulous plans for the long weekend. I can't believe it's like so early in the year. We're already blessed with a long weekend.

I know. I feel like MLK is usually like the third, like the following week in January and things just, or maybe not, but it kind of is just sprung upon us. It's very exciting. I look forward to maybe catching up on some of the aforementioned sleep

that I've been missing. It is exciting, but I have a hot take and I don't want to be ungrateful and I don't want to bite the hand that feeds me because I'm always excited and grateful for a three-day weekend. But I just feel like the placement of MLK Day like isn't ideal. Now I know it's like, you know, out of everyone's control, but like word up to me, I feel like there's like more dry times of year

where we have like no vacation times, you know? Yeah, I think- No federal holidays this is a generous one because we're easing back into the new year and it's like you just have to make it like three work weeks until you get a long weekend there is a dearth of federal holidays in March that needs to be solved for And we should add one day in March because there's no long weekends in March except for spring break.

But like, we're not spring breakers, sorry to say. We're grown. We are grown. But depending on how the calendar falls, March slash April. No, it's actually usually April. It's like Passover and Easter. Yeah, so there's a hole in March.

And maybe we could give some suggestions of days that could become federal holidays. Yeah. What about International Turd Day? I like International Laturd Day. The feminine turd. Love. Through the feminine gaze of the turd. Not L-turd. Oh, not L-turd. You know what's so funny? You know, we have a list of people like we would in a dream world love to have on the podcast. I feel like there's five or six people. Clarkson of course Taylor Swift um for me like Kiki Palmer has recently been added to that list and I was thinking over the last couple days somebody I want to add to my personal list do you have that written down I do somewhere I have dream guests yeah you know I got a list for everything turdy right Okay, tell me who. Well, read the list to me thus far.

Okay. Dream guest. Here we go. Keke Palmer. Mm-hmm. RuPaul. Mm-hmm. Kelly Clarkson.

Mm-hmm. Mindy Kaling. Mm, yeah, that's a good one. Josh Groban. LOL. Guy Fieri. LOL. Elon Musk.

LOL. John Corbett. John funny i'm sorry we are funny okay here's who i'm adding to and of course like the obvious ones you should add like taylor swift and any kardashian guy yeah yeah i'm not adding them but like but no because they're so obvious like i don't have to remember that we want them ready i got I got two words for you, Jackie. Jack Black. Isn't that a good one? That's a good one.

Jack Black. Do you think Jack Black's assistant's like a toaster and could help us out? It's very possible. I just feel like Jack Black is, Jack Black, like, low-key. I'm so glad I brought this up.

Jack Black low-key became so fucking famous. Like, it's insane. He's, like, we all know him and he could have just gone on to be like an actor who we thought was funny but he's in like billion dollar franchises back to back like Kung Fu Panda Super Mario he was just at the Golden Globes because he was nominated for another one of those franchises um one of those Pixar things like oh. He does a lot of voice acting. He's so supremely talented.

He's so talented. Honestly, you know what he would be the perfect guest for? Good Guys. Good Guys. Oh, my gosh. I saw Ben post yesterday a picture of Theo and said, good boy. I know.

Good boy, son of good guy. I know. It was very sweet. Very sweet. Quickly back to good guys the reason I thought of it is because me and Ben were in bed like two nights ago just talking and I realized because I'm like I'm obsessed with celebrities I feel like everybody knows who my favorite celebrities are I'm like Ben's like not really in the celeb space and I think I was asking him like who's like your role model like who do you love and he used to think really really hard and long

about it and he said Jack Black and I'm like yes yes no Ben is Jack Black he's Jack Black coded yep coded you know yeah that's a good one though yeah so anyone you want to add to the list I'd have to think on it. Sometimes it just like pops up. Yeah, where I'm like, I'm desperate to ask Pepper this person with questions. Right. And like Jack Black has such a long and illustrious career. Like I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I mean, I would of course begin at School of Rock and I would end at School of Rock too. Oh, you would? What's your like, oh, the holiday? The holiday is major Jack Black for me. Shallow How. I'm so sorry. Shallow.

It starts and ends with Shallow How. Like how many, that's another such a random movie we quote all the time. Hey, now she's getting into my clams casino. Is it also Hey, Look at Me? Yes. Hey, look at me. That look at me that's also from shallow how we were also watching shallow how at like literally six years old we like had it on vhs it's a like that movie

raised me it's a movie with a great message sort of yeah it kind of like it would never get made today but at the end of the day the message was good it was like you know it's on the inside what counts we're all beautiful on the inside yeah that's a good message and like low-key Tony Robbins being a full-blown character in that movie as himself like it was such a good movie yeah Gwyneth that's the thing about Gwyneth she has never missed in her entire career not once no dude anyone ever see that movie where she plays a flight attendant with Kelly Preston I think it's called up in the air of course literally i think some people would consider that like maybe her miss i think it's one of the greatest cinematic achievements of our time

she has never missed she will never miss and if gwyneth paltrow has 100 fans i'm one of them if she is one fan i'm one of them and if she has zero fans i am dead speaking of that movie, someone who is like a Jack Black comes and goes supremely talented. Don't they? A star Mike Myers, Mike Myers. I put in the same category, not as Jack Black close, but as Jim Carrey, another great, like the greatest talents of our generation. Really? Mike Myers, Jim Carrey, not thirsty, do it for the love of the craft. Where are they? Where are they? That's a good call.

That's my question. What do you think is Mike Myers' greatest cinematic achievement? Because it's Cat in the Hat. Austin Powers. Shrek. Shrek. Yeah, it's like these guys. And our husbands, their favorite movie ever.

Is Austin Powers? Love Guru. Is that him? Yeah. Are you sure? I get that movie confused with Don't Mess With The Zohan. Oh. I feel like they came out at the same time and they were both like dumb.

Yeah, but they're so different. No, Love Guru is totally Mike Myers. It's Mike Myers? Yes. Okay. Okay, my bad. That's like not my genre of movie. Our husbands love those movies.

Love. Ben's favorite movie like literally is Love Guru. And I don't think I've ever seen it. No, me neither. But I have seen Don't Mess With The Zohan and it's excellent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Different.

Different, yeah. But I put them for, you know, you just like associate two things as the same, even though they couldn't be more different. Yeah. You know what I kind of associate, even though they couldn't be more different? I don't know why. Love Guru and 50 First Dates. Okay.

Did you ever see that movie? Of course. Oh, no, so it's okay when you talk about irrelevant movies that you associate? No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I wasn't making fun of you. I was saying, like, those two movies couldn't be more different. Yeah. I think the poster for them are similar looking.

That's right. It's like two people looking at each other. I don't know what the poster for love we were looks like I've never seen it I've got it I I just looked at yeah there's like three people okay let me look at 50 first dates and who's the guy oh Adam Sandler another one yeah okay the posters are the same it's like people sitting oh by the way I know why I'm sorry I know why you like like conflate the two is because Adam Sandler's also sort of in that genre of Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Jack Black,

like supremely talented, not conventionally handsome men. Oh yeah, not about the looks, just about the comedy, good flicks. Adam Sandler's like a little oversaturated at this point, unlike the others. Very commercial, he's very commercial. The others are very like scarce in their work we want more I wanted to update um everyone from a conversation we had yesterday when we were talking about like you know women being able to get away with saying and doing crazy

things a lot of people sounded off in the comments who they thought was like and there was one resounding answer well there was two actually a lot of people were saying like Sarah Silverman Chelsea Handler no I don't think they really do or say anything that crazy a lot of people said Jackie Schimmel yes and that was a great answer but people also said which I thought was even more fitting because Jackie Schimmel from the very get was like fuck off I'm gonna say what I want and I'm not gonna put up with your bullshit so she's never really even like experienced any sort of backlash because she like wouldn't allow herself to but somebody who's like been through the ringer and who literally cannot be brought down cannot be canceled they have tried Trisha

Payton I saw that one too and she's very YouTubey which like Theo Vaughn is too I think that was a good answer yeah I think that is a good answer there's not like an exact equivalent and I think the the the comments from yesterday just highlight that there really aren't that many people. But the consensus was Jackie Schimmel. Yeah. Oh, also totally random. Did you see JC Marie Smith is pregnant? Obsessed.

I've been watching a thousand videos on TikTok about it. I'm so happy for her. Oh, I'm not on TikTok, but I just followed her for a while. And she's been like sharing her fertility journey. And she just started recently, like sharing that she was doing IVF and she was posting videos and who knew that as she was posting that, like she was pregnant. It does make sense that she would only like start to share that once she had, you know, a result.

But I was so happy for, and Chelsea Chelsea who's her co-host is also pregnant again and so they're pregnant at the same time like podcasting duo pregnant at the same time I don't know it's like my dream yeah no for sure for sure maybe maybe like in a year in five years in five years by Rebecca Searle um so that was just exciting you know women in podcast you know when I saw that I was so happy for JC she's also been like so open like she did I think this was their second round of IVF the first one didn't take and that was like obviously devastating so I love when people like share their journey obviously nobody has to share anything especially something that's personal but she did and I'm really happy for her I'm really and she's been

like wanting to be pregnant for a long time and I think like the whole internet is happy for JC yeah yeah yeah I love when things happen like that yeah when I saw the pictures I was like genuinely shocked and and joyful joyful joyful lord we are done one thing about JC is is she's going to take a gorgeous photo. She's going to reinvent photography. Yeah. She's a real trendsetter. Yes. Like a tastemaker in the culture. If you guys don't know who we're talking about,

her name is Jacey Marie Smith, J-A-C-I. I found her on TikTok, but apparently everybody's been following her forever for years. She has a podcast on Dear Media, right? And she is like an Instagram. She's a multi-platform, a multi-hyphenate. Multi-platform girly.

She's an aesthetic, taste-making. She's a redhead. Girly. She is a redhead. Represent. And, that's just exciting.

And she's pregnant. It's just fabulous. And she's pregnant. Yes. Speaking of redheads, I finished the book for the redheads last night. We are recording today.

This book was so good and like intense and just like pulls you in you you should really read it it's called strange sally diamond it's on my list and I'm really excited for this episode I still haven't chosen what book I'm gonna choose for the next one and I'm running out of time the clock is running out let me look really quickly through my like most recent goodreads two thrillers I don't really just want to choose an arbitrary thriller I don't know I know I know so let me see what else I read besides thrillers I mean you could always always do Mike the situation I just want to say like I know you already did a thriller I just wanted to add that one more time one more thriller

actually if you are going to do a thriller, I think maybe a better thriller. Than Mike the Situation? Yeah. Oh, actually, you should do this book. Even though I feel like probably the other girlies have read it. Then we can't do it. Because it's so popular. None of this is true.

Bye. Lisa Jewell. No, and I know what all the girls read because we do a segment where we share what we've read. So that does not. Jackie, it's about a podcast. Oh, I saw in one of the groups that they think it was like toast coated and by the way like it's like I love the redheads I'm not saying anything negative about the redheads but you do kind of pick like like outlier books sometimes like this one's very on trend it's all over goodreads and

I read it and it's actually excellent I I had no notes. Five stars. Okay. I'll see if anyone has read it. And then I'll choose it. Yeah, I do like choosing. It's always fun when we choose a buzzy book. But sometimes you can find like a jewel that no one's talking about. Of course. And you, by the way.

We can also like platform authors who might not. We have a really large audience. A lot of people are going to buy this book. It's like nice when it's someone who hasn't gotten a lot of shine yet, but deserves it. And Jackie, you know how I feel about buzzy books. Like it is a conspiracy. It's industry plant. Like, you know how I feel.

But you know, every now and then it's good to be on trend. Like you were on trend with the measure. Right. Also, some things are buzzy for a reason. Nothing was buzzier for us than Fourth Wing. And that's like our most listened to episode ever. Oh, true, true. We are also running, you know, a non-profitable business.

Right, right. No, so you're, is this breaking news? The Redheads are not a profitable business? Actually, that's not true. It Oh true true. We are also running you know a non-profitable business. Right right no so you're is this breaking news the redheads are not a profitable business? Actually that's not true. It's not true depends. You guys sell a lot of merch. It depends on the month and it depends on if we do merch. Yeah. But you know some months the redheads is a non-profit. It's a passion project. Passions aren't meant to generate revenue. I like calling it a non-profit. Okay because you're like doing a service. Yeah like I run a non-profit. Okay, because you're like doing a service. Yeah, like I run a non-profit called the Redheads Book Club.

You have to get your 501c3 tax classification. Yeah, we give back to the community. Well, while you were reading last night, I finally started The Crown. Oh, I'm jealous. I know. So, spoiler alert, Diana just... Hey! Oh, crap. Tied. crown oh i'm jealous i know so spoiler alert diana just hey i'm cried um and it's good i have to say like i i actually prefer the seasons of the crown for parts of history i wasn't really conscious for

i mean i wasn't really alive with diana but like i know about it it's a part of the culture it's diana this diana that there's been a thousand movies documentaries it's like i feel like all we ever talk about is princess diana so i really i think i prefer but like, I know about it. It's a part of the culture. It's Diana, this Diana, that there's been a thousand movies, documentaries. It's like, I feel like all we ever talk about is princess Diana. So I really, I think I prefer the seasons where I learn about things that happened in history that I really had no idea about. And I think you were the one who said this, that really put things in perspective for me. It's like when more time has passed from that moment, you know, we learn more about what actually happened. People's letters are released. It's like, you know, journals. So I feel like a lot of the Diana stuff is so subjective because there's been a thousand movies, documentaries,

and they all say different things. So I happen to think The Crown, and I have no proof of this, I find The Crown to be like the most legitimate and reputable reference for history when it comes to the world. Even though they're constantly telling us like this is not true.

I know. But if what they are saying is true and like how it went down, like those last 24 hours in Paris, like seriously, Jodie Fayed like is the biggest loser of all time. I need to watch it. I don't want, I don't want your opinions to like color my view of it.

And I want to see if like we wind up at the same thoughts and conclusions so I maybe I'll try and watch it tonight you know if bedtime goes according to plan it's such a delightful show yeah also like not to be so annoying like Diana is the main character I'm just like not a Diana girl you know I feel like there's some people especially like the gays they love Diana like they could watch a thousand hours of Diana I'm like really not a Diana girl but I'm also not an Imelda Staunton girl so like I don't even know where to look I'm kind of like finding myself liking Prince Charles only because like I like Dominic West like I can't Dominic West no now I like him ever since he was in the Downton Abbey 2 movie like love yeah I've turned a corner

on him too he did something recently that was like good I don't know what it was oh and also like his son his son is in the crown as well right didn't we you're lying I thought I thought that's like what we put together a couple months ago let's find out Dominic West's son and I don't know the crown just like doesn't hit as hard when the people they are portraying are still alive. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Dominic. Like William and Kate.

It's weird. Makes his acting. Oh, yeah. In the season before in season five, the person who plays William, Prince William. Oh, like the toddler. He's like a adolescent. Is Dominic West's son. Oh, that's cool i like that yeah yeah i wasn't i wasn't down for them like casting dominic west you know like i know dominic west i like the crown to introduce me to people i've never met elizabeth to becky so when he was

kind of like a name before the crown i wasn't down but he actually uh did good work now I feel that way about Imelda Staunton you know she's you know big Harry Potter girl I don't like her as the queen but also we have to keep in mind the queen is in her flop era who is your favorite queen in terms of uh Claire Foy oh I'm gonna Olivia Colvin but I also just like loved that era of the crown because it was so you know the most historical and there was so much that I didn't Crown because it was, you know, the most historical and there was so much that I didn't know and I was really getting to know Queen Elizabeth and so like to me, Claire Foy is the queen. Right.

So like this season of The Crown doesn't feel so much like a historical show. It literally feels like a soap opera. I can't explain it. Like it's just, it's too current. I feel it. I think that's why they eventually stop. Yeah. I feel like not to be like such a hot take, like I feel like it should have ended

before Diana died. Because we all know how that goes, you know? Yeah. That story's been told. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I look forward to watching.

Yeah. And now I think without further ado. Let's breeze through these stories. Let's just rip the band-aid off. Without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know here are the fast five stories that you need to know and the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by caraway as you're starting the new year do you have any new goals i do i'm cooking i'm done ordering i think it's cooking on instagram it's so not economical and

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So visit carawayhome.com slash the toast or use code the toast at checkout. Caraway, non-toxic cookware made modern. Today's episode is also brought to you by Thrive Market. Again, goals for the new year, staying healthy, keeping a fully stocked kitchen so you don't have to keep ordering in. Enter Thrive Market, our go-to for all of our grocery and household essentials,

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Thank you. Law. You're welcome. Our first story, some legal news, Todd and Julie Chrisley receive a $1 million settlement in a lawsuit, alleging misconduct in the investigation against them. Question mark.

Yeah. Todd and Julierisley have scored a legal victory amid their ongoing prison sentences for their involvement in multi-million dollar bank fraud and tax evasion scheme on tuesday a lawyer for the couple announced that they are receiving a one million dollar settlement from the state of georgia to resolve their 2019 federal lawsuit against joshua waits the former director of special investigations of the state's department of revenue we have been saying for months that the criminal case against the Chris lease was highly unusual and had real problems.

The family attorney said this settlement is an encouraging sign. He said it's nearly unprecedented for one arm of the government to pay money to defendants. When another arm is fighting to keep them in jail. Right. After being cleared of their state of tax evasion charge in Georgia, Todd and Julie took legal action against weights in October, 2019 for specifically targeting the famous family in their state of tax evasion charge in Georgia, Todd and Julie took legal action against Waits in October 2019 for specifically targeting the famous family in their state tax evasion charge.

According to the lawsuit, which was obtained by People, the reality star's former lawyer said that Waits' initial charges against Todd and Julie was a shocking example of how an out-of-control public servant can abuse his office and violate the rights of innocent citizens for reasons that have more to do with securing publicity and money for his office than with enforcing the law but the thing is is no matter his motivations for bringing charges like if they did that shit they did that shit so the fact that the government paid them a million dollar settlement a settlement is really an admission of guilt yeah i feel like there's more here i've always especially when it comes

from the government who can afford to keep this going forever. No, sometimes people settle because they can't. Afford the legal fees. Afford the fees and the time and the energy. And it's like, you know what? I just want to be done with this. Like. Right.

I will settle. But the government doesn't have those hangups. No. And I definitely have felt like the Chrisley case is bizarre. Because, you know, they got more jail time than a common criminal. Like a rapist, like a rapist gets like a 12 years, which is really a lot for a financial crime, which is really a victimless crime because they were just, you know, taking some banks to the cleaners. But I do believe that

they did that shit, though, you know, but I do understand because I'm always seeing clips of like Savannah Chrisley, like she has a podcast and she talks about this every single week. She is not letting this go. She really feels like I think her family has been wronged. And honestly, this, you know, news story does help her case. Yeah, that this person, like, abused their power. And even if they did something that, you know, it's not to the extent that it was prosecuted so heavily. And good on the Chrisleys for like continuing the fight.

But like, I don't know. I wouldn't be spending my energy on like trying to get a settlement from the government. I'd be trying to get my sentence commuted, you know? I guess, but this bodes well for their entire case,

I think. Yes, it's true. And it shows that perhaps there was some corruption and I don't know the extent of what they did in the extent of, you know, what was nefarious in the justice department but now I'm like maybe the Chrisleys aren't so bad right maybe the Chrisleys need to be vindicated perhaps so I think it's good I mean also a million dollars

great always good especially especially I'm sure they worry a lot about like being in prison and their kids and they have grandkids and like they're they're i think all the kids except for grayson are not minors and now savannah is like the parental guardian for grayson but still you have to worry about your kids you know financial health and their ability to you know make ends meet so but they work and they'll be right but Right, but no, I'm saying getting a million dollars is probably a huge, you know, sigh of relief for the Chrisley parents who are in prison unable to provide for their children and grandchildren.

Because, you know, they took in custody of one of their grandkids, Chloe. Yeah. Who's really young. So, like, they have dependence. Always good to get a million dollars. Never, ever, ever hurts. I mean, you say that, but I'm sure there could be a situation.

Let me ask you a question. How much money would somebody have to pay you to spend an entire year in prison? And let's say it's not like a maximum security scary place. It's kind of like where Teresa Giudice went. A lot. Because it's not just about like the time in prison. It's time away from your family. Of course, of course.

Like missing life. So how much? And I'm saying like tax free. 50 million. Oh my God, really? I was going to say 1 billion. 1 billion 1 billion yeah and then I was thinking well if somebody offered me 500 million I would obviously say yes but honestly like am I crazy like I don't think I would do it for 100 million dollars like it's so I'm so afraid of prison it's

like so my number one fear um no I don't think that's crazy. But you have to like then also think like, you know, $50 million would be life changing. Yeah. So for one year. Yeah. No. And like, I guess like you're thinking about your kids. So of course, like, yeah, I'm just thinking about me. Yeah.

Like we could get. A plane. A house. A plane. You could get a lot of things. Not enough, though. Not enough. That's what I'm saying

500 Yeah Agreed Okay Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm Miss drama Selena Gomez Oh yeah

Abruptly quit social media again After the drama of Kylie and Timothy and she So Selena posted that she is leaving social media Saying focusing on what really matters. I'm off social media for a while. And it was a photo of her boyfriend spending quality time with some kids. And she's just like that. She's gone again.

Okay. We'll see you in an hour, Selena. She also posted, commented on an Instagram post about the drama. Yep. E! News had posted about like the lip reading saga. Yeah, like did Selena say that this and this? And she wrote, no, I was telling them about two of my friends

that had hooked up. Okay, I am more certain than ever that she's lying, because that's, like, the worst lie ever. And, like, we all know Kelly said with Timothy. So, like, stop lying. Yeah, no, but also maybe she's talking about her two friends that hooked up with Timothy and Timothy.

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like maybe she thinks it's not a lie. She was talking about two friends who have hooked up Kylie and Timothy. Yeah. I will say like Selena Gomez is social media behavior is not the best. And this is just another example of, you know, of that because she will be back and it'll be sooner than you think. Yeah.

And that's, that's so Selena. It's this Instagram, she can't quit. She can't, and that's relatable. Sort of. But I just want to say, like, that comment, I think, really didn't help her case. They really just shouldn't have said anything because we could all just wonder we would never know but we would never have hard cold proof but her now saying not only were we not saying that but i was talking about two of my friends who hooked up like

no you weren't no you weren't you also like look like a liar no you weren't like stop it's bad to lie yeah and like for people to know that you told a lie yeah it's so clearly a lie it just like really hurts your credibility yeah because then it's like what else is a lie yeah no by the way like this was a bad move that comment was bad and maybe she got yelled at and that's why she said she's taking time off of her phone yeah maybe maybe yeah but certainly yeah that's like so basic like what were you guys talking about oh just like two of my friends who hooked up like tell me you're put on the spot and lying without telling me but like she wasn't even put on the spot because nobody expected her to respond of course

these are a-list celebrities they're entitled to have a conversation that stays in private right and we can all just speculate wonder yeah that's our job and you like responding is beneath you yeah well our next story is very related because another conversation that people think they know what was said that's going viral from the golden globes is between emily blunt and john krasinski have you seen that about the weather about the weather yeah and now she last night attended the governor's awards alone after her conversation with John had gone viral. A conversation that fans are speculating is either about divorce or the weather. Yes.

So fans are speculating what Emily Blunt and John Krasinski were talking about while posing for photos on the 2024 Golden Globes red carpet Sunday. It's insane that like two people, especially like two married people, like can't get a moment, a modicum of privacy. Like it's insane. Okay. Agreed. But why would they get privacy on a red carpet no i know but like just in the digital age the fact that they can't have like a 10 second exchange without it being dissected it's just like it's really crazy yeah like who would want to attend an event like this a few theories have come to the forefront of the guessing game with some people saying that he's looking to split from yes Emily they said I've watched this 500 times trying to convince myself he said something other than divorce they say I swear he's saying divorce um but I that he um then other people are

saying I can't he said I can't wait to get indoors yes so yes it does look like he's mouthing the word divorce but then in the whole clip when somebody uh transcribes their entire conversation they are talking about the weather and I saw a lot of people commenting on the weather at the Golden Globes it was so windy like it was cold so I really do believe I don't I don't think these two are getting divorced like period and I also don't think that's what they were saying and I think if they were getting divorced they wouldn't like mention it on a red carpet they're not a bunch of amateurs right and she would have just went by herself by the way because

he wasn't nominated and like it's not common for like a woman or an actor to go by themselves to an award show that only they're nominated for yeah but then she went without him last night so people are like oh actually I don't think so also because it's them yeah no I actually was thinking about them while they were on tv I mean John Krasinski seriously should go to jail for his outfit but I love these two and I can't think of a couple I think more evenly matched in terms of level of fame and success and like respected. Like they're both so well respected. Actually, I think maybe she's a little bit more. No, no, the office.

No, people love him. I know. Jack Ryan, the office. But he's kind of TV and she's kind of like silver screen, you know? No, they're really great. And I think they also lift each other up. And also like for the stability of the realm, like these two cannot get divorced. Like people would not be okay.

For the stability of the realm yes no you're right people wouldn't be okay and it's nice like god my god like they're so i can't even count on one hand like the amount of age-appropriate long-term relationships in hollywood like this is good shit yeah no they are holding holding up the industry they're holding up the realm they're holding up the realm. They're holding up the realm. They're holding up the realm. There's like a couple couples that like. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. No, that's really just us.

No, I'm telling you people love them. It's not just us. Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds. I don't feel that way. Not personally, but the people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're the people's couple. They are, they are.

I personally don't ride or die Or ship for them But I understand My people do And again It's like a well matched You know age appropriate couple We stan we stan Yeah lots of kids

Right right Very you know Share a lot On social media Like we know What's going on Yeah they leave Like funny comments

Oh see actually Ryan Reynolds Social media behavior Is part of the reason I don't stan him As a couple Yeah but also Because we don't stand him as a couple. Yeah, but also because we don't watch that movie.

Which? You know the one. Ant-Man? No. Deadpool. Deadpool. Is he even in Ant-Man? I'm not sure.

I think he plays Deadpool in someone else's movie of Ant-Man. Okay, here are some like married long-term couples in Hollywood that I think people love. They love Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Yes, for the stability of the realm. For the stability of the realm. David and Victoria Beckham. Yeah, they should get more credit than they do. I agree.

This is a good one like everybody loves. Goldie and Kurt. Yeah, everybody loves. They keep the realm stable. Yeah, they are one load- that. They keep the realm stable. Yeah. They are one load bearing wall. And, and people who aren't,

um, into like the idea of marriage, love Goldie and Kurt. Cause they've been together for like 50 years, but never legally married. And they're like, see Goldie and Kurt did it. Oh,

here's another one. The classic. Dak Shepard and Kristen Bell. Classic. Classic. Another one. Kevinax Shepard and Kristen Bell. Classic. Classic. Another one. Kevin Bacon and Keira Sedgwick. Very good.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are on this list. Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. That's good. I feel like they don't get enough credit either. They don't. Another one that I don't feel like is holding the realm together, but it's nice that they're still married. SJP and Matthew Broderick.

Like if they got divorced, no one would care. The realm remains unharmed. But we should still be more impressed than we are about how they fared. Yeah. Oh, Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber. Very good.

Oh my God. Not Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith being on this list. No, they're not holding up the realm. Also, this list needs to be updated because Hugh Jackman is still on here and we know he's getting. No, they're not holding up the realm. Also, this list needs to be updated because Hugh Jackman is still on here and we know he's getting divorced. And they were never holding up the realm. Who?

Him and his wife, Debra Lee Furness. Oh, I forgot who we were talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I feel like I got them all. Oh, Ellen and Portia. Oh, no, I don't feel that way about Ellen and Portia, but Beyonce and Jay-Z. Yeah. Oh, this is a good one Freddie Prince Jr. and Sarah

Michelle Gellar I forget about them they do their part they do their part and I feel like I like I love them and they're like legitimizing all the work of the 90s you know the fact that they're still together it was all for something Alicia Keys and Swizz'm good. I'm good too. But wait, here is, this would shake up the realm a lot. Shake it up the realm? Shake it up Chicago. Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep.

Yep. That's exactly of the elk. That's of the elk. That's it. Yep, I got it. List done. That was fun. That was fun.

I love lists. Wait, should we make a list? Like celebrity couples that would shake up the realm if they got divorced? That's good because there are probably more than what that list has to offer. But we're talking about a very specific type of couple. And you were right. Like Blake and Ryan. Celebrity.

Divorces that would shake up the realm. But I feel like I won't know to search that. But I'll put it in. I need all my search words. Okay. John and Emily. Blake and Ryan. Leslie and Judd.

Is that it? There was one other couple in there., oh, Dax and Kristen. Yes, so classic. I stand by Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, but it's up to your discretion if you want to put them on the list. I just don't think people have enough taste to feel as strongly about them as we do. That's fair. That's totally fair. They're kind of like our little thing. like we kind of invented them yeah are you ready for our next story speaking

of couples yeah Simone Biles is on the cover of Vanity Fair and her husband is giving a few quotes including insisting again that he had no clue who she was before they met but how does he explain his tweets where he literally says her name? He doesn't. But he said, a lot of people don't believe me when I say I had no clue. He said at the time he was at a training camp at his alma mater. At what time? She's been famous for like 15 years.

In 2016 of her Olympic success in Rio. Okay, okay, okay. And that he wasn't paying attention to the Rio games. He said, quote, I never once was like, oh, let me check gymnastics out. He noted that he only caught some basketball and a bit of track. He quickly learned when he found her on Instagram. I was like, man, she has a lot of followers. She must be pretty good.

Okay, I just want to say, like, it's really hard for any, like, living, breathing American to not know who Simone Biles is, let alone an athlete. I'm sorry, I'm just not buying this. He's doubling down. Unless he said like, I grew up on a ranch without electricity and no internet or television.

Okay, then those people, I could, I believe them when they say they don't know who Simone Biles is. He said when she won the Olympics, I was in college and we didn't have NBC. We didn't have Olympics channels. I'm sorry. And we were in training

camp in late July early August the amount of details the amount of details I know he's lying I'm sorry he's lying I don't think he's lying this is a crazy thing to lie about twice and now in Vanity Fair now it's just like an off the cuff or more mark on a podcast I think he said it people were so shook by it that he gets asked it now and he has to double down because if he admits he's lying it's really weird also we didn't have nbc isn't that like basic cable first of all literally everyone has nbc unless you didn't have a television but in which case you say i didn't have a television but also it's like streaming no social media this day and age and i'm sorry it's not like simone biles only exists on channel four

like she's everywhere weedies you know no and it's like if you follow espn on instagram because you're an athlete and you care about those things then like simone comes up on your feed sometimes and i like how he was like i mean yeah i watch like basketball but how'd you watch basketball if you didn't have nbc right nobody's like i watch basketball like putting down gymnastics when you're mad like who the fuck watches olympic basketball nobody everybody watches gymnastics bitch yeah he's getting is unbothered by i know and his comments i'm sorry loves him and she's standing by her man and that's great but it's giving jealous wouldn't you be duh that's like me marrying joe rogan like you think i wouldn't be mad every day? You'd be like, I never heard of him until we met Sean Raya.

That's, by the way, it's the exact same thing. I have spoken about Joe Rogan. He has spoken about Simone Biles. But then 10 years later, it would be like me saying, I have no idea who Joe Rogan is. You guys pulling up this clip. You would say, I don't have Spotify. Right.

Right. So anyways, she's looking gorgeous on the cover of Vanity Fair. I love her, by the way. This is not a reflection of her. But if you love her, you kind of have to love him because A equals B and B equals C. No, but it's like she's on the cover of Vanity Fair. Why the fuck is her husband getting a quote? Like, can she like have her cover?

Maybe she seems like she wants to bring him into things. And yeah, I guess I guess for him to have his shine. Yeah, no, it's good. It's good. It's sweet of her. Yeah. And I guess like if I was on the cover of Vanity Fair and like Ben, obviously it came with me to the photo shoot and they asked him a question, I would be like, yeah, that's

fine. Yeah. Maybe like, no, don't talk to him. You never know. That is something I would do. It's not like, yeah, that's fine. Yeah. And I'd be like, no, don't talk to him. You never know. That is something I would do. It's not like, you know, someone gets a lot of press. So maybe if it was like your first big thing, you'd say, shut up, man. But like to her, it's like, oh, sure, whatever.

Another cover. It's true. Another cover. Yeah. Another one. Another one. I'm so glad we're out of that DJ Khaled Snapchat era. Like that was a really annoying time.

It was, but we got some like really good quotes from it like i love another one i also love major key i love major key yeah and i love businesses booming was that him yeah that little sneaker kid that he used to oh yeah and he'd say how business and he said business is booming yeah and by the way i never even watched jake howard snapchats like this is what i got like filtered down to regurgitated pervasive it was yeah no he really like was the culture for an entire year another one obsessed obsessed and also like major key it was a major key there's so many i say major key all the time yeah i you know what i say all the time dj callit that's what i say you literally never not once in my life are you ready for our fifth and final story i am jennifer lawrence is dishing which one one? Dissing or dishing? Dish.

On her stressful wedding day. So Jennifer Lawrence opened up about her 2019 nuptials while walking the red carpet at Sunday night's Golden Globes, admitting that she found being a bride to be, quote, awful. Oh my God, thank you for someone saying it. She said she mostly worried about the guests having a good time, which made the entire day so stressful.

So you're spending all this money for other people. You're not having fun. You're just like, is this person having fun? The private ceremony was attended by celebs, including Robert De Niro, who had worked with Jennifer on Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle, and Joy. But at the rehearsal dinner, she admitted that she was so worried that De Niro wasn't having a good time that she even told him to go home.

LOL. I looked over and I saw Bob, who doesn doesn't know anybody and he's kind of wandering around and I immediately was like, no, this isn't what he wants to be doing. I don't want him here. So I went over and whispered. I was like, go home. And he was nice. He like talked to my parents and was polite, but I was just like, go.

That just genuinely made me feel better. That's funny. That's funny. Yeah. No, I mean, everybody has their own Robert De Niro. You know know obviously hers is on a bigger scale um but I'm so glad someone's finally talking about it because like I'm really sick of like the yassification of bridehood it sucks yeah it does it shouldn't have to be that

way and I hope that but no everyone's on there unless it's like your second wedding you have to learn the hard way you have to learn by experience. Nobody can tell you to just like stop and dial it back. And I like imagine people who have been married more than once say that their second weddings are so much better than their first. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Taylor Strecker. Yeah, but also I feel like a lot of people have second weddings that are much smaller. Yeah, because I realize it's not that important.

And like what's worth spending money on is like the people the house yeah like no but I'm saying for the actual but budding budding of the wedget wedding budget the actual budget of the wedding like you know what to spend money on what not to spend money on what's stupid what's not stupid like I feel like a second wedding is such a vibe yeah but then it's always surprising to see people who have a really big second wedding yeah that I feel like you didn't learn but no but it's like well now that I found the right person I know I know I still want all the theatrics I know but like the theatrics aren't worth it yeah they're not done well like you really could it's a great time for the guys I had a great time at my wedding I had a great time at your wedding too

because I was I like I had a good like the my wedding. I had a great time at your wedding too. Cause I was, I like, I had a good, like the, all the stress was beforehand and I didn't let any stress like reach me on my wedding day. I was like, we're throwing a party and I'm going to have fun.

Right. And you're going to wear this hat to the party tonight. You know it. You, you know it. So they're remaking wicked. And if that line doesn't make it into the movie, like I will be going on strike.

Did you know that the Bridgerton oldest son is in Wicked? Jonathan. The Viscount. Yes, yes, I did. I learned that from the Golden Globes. Yes, yes, yes. I didn't know that. He is so hot and so gay, it's just not fair.

I wonder who he's playing. Him and Matt Bober. Like, it ain't right. I fair i wonder who he's playing him and matt bober like it ain't right i don't know who's playing i feel like he's wearing his hat to the party tonight now that guy is he playing fiero fiero and then who's spongebob playing i feel like spongebob is literally an extra like he's not even he's a character actor Like he's literally A munchkin Yeah Jonathan's playing Fiyero And who is Spongebob? Fiyero Let me pull up the IMDB for Wicked

No I'm telling you like Spongebob plays like the janitor At the school that they meet at Like it's really At Shiz University? Like he's literally The smallest character He's Okay So we know It's really. At Shiz University? Like he's literally the smallest character.

He's. Okay. So we know. Oh, he plays Bach. Who is Bach? He's not ringing. His name isn't ringing a bell. Oh, is he the one who she sets up her sister with?

I'm not going to lie. Like I need to refresh my wicked. He's the Munchkin Lander man what did I say munchkin who was Elphaba and Glinda's friend during their time at shiz like I said he's a munchkin yeah I do think he gets together with the sister and then that's why she's like you should wear this hat to the party night something like that um those are the past five and we have dear love interest. I think I saw Wicked once in the way. By the way, I was going to say,

I've seen Wicked like four times. The last time was like maybe two years ago. And I know Elphaba, Glinda, and The Wizard. Oh, yeah, you did see it recently. Yeah, with Jessica Voss. She invited me backstage and painted my hand green. And I got to go on the stage and stuff. I haven't seen it since childhood,

but really, so much of it stuck with me. And I'll stand there with the wizard feeling things I've never felt. And though I'd never show it, I'd be so happy I could melt. And so it will be for the rest of my life and I'll want nothing else till I die.

Held in such high esteem. When people see me, they will scream. For half of Oz's favorite team. The Wizard and I. No, that was so good. And let me also say, since quitting my vape, I can sing so much better. Well, there's a reason. And I just want to say I'm nine days clean.

No fuck ups. Wow. And I just want to say Keala settles in the Wicked movie. Oh, fuck me up. So now you know it's a party. Fuck me up, Keala. Where the hell has she been? She's been working on the Wicked movie.

She should have been in Bean Girls, the musical. Yeah, she should be in every musical. No, ever since that movie came out, Greatest Showman, if you're going to make a musical and Keala Settles is not involved, like pack your bags, pack your things. Back to the drawing board. Avita Zane, motherfucker. Also, Jeff Goldblum is the wizard.

Love. That's a good cast. Love. There's some good castings here. Michelle Yeoh is in it. Oh, no. I forgot to put on deodorant today. Oh, good thing we're almost done.

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Nutrafol, N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com slash quiz. Promo code is thetoast. Nutrafol.com slash quiz. Promo code thetoast. All right, dear toasters, our weekly advice segment where you girlies can write in about anything and get advice from us. If you've always wondered, like, what would Jackson Claude think? Now is your opportunity. There are two ways to submit. Dear Toasters at gmail dot com. That's an email account. We will keep all of your information anonymous. Also, if you go to the toast podcast dot com and scroll down, there's a little submission

box that says Dear Toasters. That is completely anonymous. Write us in. Let us know what's going on about anything in your life, from work to relationships to sex to pregnancy, whatever it is. We will keep your shit anonymous. And if you've written us in and we haven't read it on air, here's what might be happening. One, your submission might be too long. We try and keep it like a paragraph at most, you know? Two, your situation might just be uninteresting,

and that's something I can't help you with. Ready? Yes. Hello, Jackson Claude. My husband's family has a few rental properties, all of which are in a five-mile radius from our home. A new renter who's a single mom around our age recently moved into one of their rentals. When she first moved in, there was something wrong with the water heater, so my husband's grandparents asked him to fix it, and he did.

Since then, she has been texting my husband directly for any and every little convenience. She texted about seeing a rat in the kitchen, taking out the trash, a few other things. I'm not entirely sure how she ended up with his number, but I digress. I'm not usually a jealous person, but I find this inappropriate and a little disrespectful. I asked my husband, why doesn't she call your family who owns the house with the issues? And he says, it's not a big deal because he would be the one to fix that stuff anyway. She's just cutting out the middleman. I think messaging another woman's husband is not okay am I being insane a little bit just a little it's not about the like messaging another woman's husband it's like right she's not

thinking let me text this girl's husband she's thinking let me text the renter I mean the landlord the person from the family who comes and fixes things and like it's just the most efficient person to text but I also understand why that is annoying for your life to have this like woman who's constantly like telling your husband to come and do this and that and this and that. But isn't that like a part of your husband's job? Is not. It is.

She said like, normally like a tenant would text the grandparents and the grandparents would send her husband. So he's going anyway, but she, by the way, if somebody, if my landlord was like, all right, I'm sending over John to fix the stove and John comes over, I'm getting John's number. Yeah. And like, it's always John coming. Yeah. I'm just texting John directly. Yeah. So I think you need to change your mindset of being like, she's not texting another woman's husband in her mind. She's texting her landlord slash

handyman. Like that's fine. But you know, you know, you always got to keep an eye out for a hot young thing. I think that's very important. You know, girls can be very treacherous and fortuitous. So always, you know, keep an ear out for like what's going on, especially some hot young thing moves in and your husband's going over there all the time. But I don't think you immediately need to be like, this is inappropriate. It's really not inappropriate. Yeah, it hasn't become inappropriate right now.

It's just business. But that is annoying. No, but keep bothering your husband about it push him right into her arms keep bothering him yeah so you're being a little crazy like a little bit like these are things you think to yourself and you're conscious of but you never say out loud you know yeah you don't have cause you have literally no cause so you do look crazy. Until you have cause so you keep an eye out to look for cause. Are you ready for our next one? Hey girly swirlies. Love you both dearly. So I live and die for smutty romance novels but lately it's been making me unrightfully annoyed at my boyfriend. I know it's psychotic to think that my boyfriend could be a man written by a woman but like some effort never hurts right? I've brought up that I really want to

be complimented, given flowers, taken on dates, et cetera, multiple times, and still nothing changes. I know it's because of my smut books that are making it seem like all men are perfect, but it's starting to really upset me that mine isn't. Do I put the books down or the man? Please feel free to rip me apart. I have to say, I'm so glad that you wrote in about this because I think that this is a universal experience. Two things can happen when you're a girl in a relationship with a smut book. And I just want to say, it's not one or the other. Both can happen at different times.

One, and I've heard that's very common, is like it reignites a flame in a relationship. It gives you new ideas. It's been actually very good. Your husband buys you more smut novels. That can happen. Yeah. But it can also, and for me, like I have had this where I'm like, Ben, you have literally never put your hand on the small of my back. Like the tiniest things, because that's what the smut writers do. They like really romanticize the most random, small, innocuous thing. Not like, oh, let me buy you a house filled with roses. Like, obviously, that's like obvious.

It's the little things. I'm like, Ben, how come you have literally never, ever once like put your hand on the small of my back? Like, so it either can happen. Yeah. Totally normal. I do think it's normal. And the men in these books are perfect.

And they're written by women. Like, they are not real. And it's not fair. it's not never gonna happen it's not fair to compare your relationship to the relationship from the book so I think you need to take fiction you need to take the books out of it and look at your relationship on its own now if this person's your boyfriend and you're not going on dates like that's not right you should go on a date sometime I don't think you need to put the boyfriend down but I do think maybe a little work on your relationship couldn't hurt. Yeah, yeah.

Just you need to take a step out of like the smut universe for one second and think like is what you're asking unreasonable? What are you asking? Are you asking for like

a little bit more romance? That's totally fine. But are you asking for things that are just not in the male like the capability of a man? Like you need to

understand if you're being unrealistic in your expectations yeah but just know I just want to say and I need people to sound off in the comments like I have heard like I think this is extremely common yeah it's fair to want a little more yeah of course and like a book making you see that isn't wrong yeah but it's he's not gonna be you know you can't compare a fake man to a real one you can't especially a fake man written by a woman who like knows no no for the sole purpose of like romance i think we should start reading like romance novels written by men so we can uh no thanks get some reality yeah it's just gonna be like blow jobs you think look are there romance

you knew what I was saying I do but can you repeat that I think everyone knew are there romance novels written by men I'm sure that they are out there I have never heard of one I've never seen another human being reading or recommending popular successful no romance okay no just like it's for the girls it's for and by the girls like please fuck off I feel like like like they're gonna see you know women like Colleen Hoover Tessa Bailey Lucy score like making a lot of money and like now men are gonna try fuck off like can we have one thing yeah but I do think sometimes I feel that way and that's why sometimes I can't read these books it's like so unrealistic and like I know it is unrealistic yeah but that's

why we love it yeah that's true but not if it's affecting your real life in a negative way in a negative way right because people read fantasy books like Iron Flame and no one's expecting like a dragon to take them to work the next day. Like you understand like this is fantasy. Yeah. You have to go into smut with that understanding as well. Yeah, it's true. I am obsessed with our third and final dear toasters.

Like you couldn't have written a dear toaster is more perfect for me, okay? Okay. I consider myself a pretty traditional girly. I've always envisioned taking my husband's last name when i get married now i have fallen in love he is an absolute p-jump we're getting married next year just one tiny problem his last name is duty no how does it spelled d-o-o-d-y he said that it would mean a lot to him for me to take his name,

but come on, Doody? Am I just being immature and should suck it up? Or should I stand my ground and not be named after feces for the rest of my life? Help. I'm here.

No, I'm sorry. Like, absolutely not. You can't take this name. It's so obvious. And two, like, I'm not even a big you can't take this name it's so obvious and too like I'm not even a big fan of like name taking I never thought I'd become like one of those girls like I'm not a fan of it yeah I'm not a fan of it in practice because it's just like really inconvenient you know you establish yourself your entire life and it's not even about like the the dynamics or the politics of it it's like the convenience well I feel both ways it's incredibly inconvenient yes to have to like reintroduce yourself to the world midway through your life well not midway like a quarter through your life depends on when you get married and

no I'm talking about like yeah I'm gonna be one of those like patriarchy queens like no I don't fuck with like it's bullshit like I have to change my whole name identity everything I've accomplished my family history for you who are you yeah and especially if your name is in an upgrade and it's a downgrade oh yeah I happen to love my last name I also actually really like suffer so if I had to take it I wouldn't mind um and I'm sure I'll feel differently like when I have kids like I'll want to have like the same last name as my kids but do you really want your kids having the last name duty like talk about bullied kids are fucking cruel but what do you do about that you're just giving you're handing it over the kids the name is gonna be duty no okay let's talk about like a hyphen what do you do daddy about

let's say her last name is like sterling I don don't know. I'm just making this up. I like that. I like it too. A Sterling Doody? Let's hyphen it. But some people hyphen and like cut the name in half. I agree. But let's. Sterdo. Let's take a step back and look to the newly wedded Kaylin Miller Keys and Dean Unglert, who now go by the last name Belle. Yeah, they gave themselves a brand new name.

But why? Just because your husband's last name is Judy, you have to give up your own name? Like, that's bullshit. Why? It could be Kumsafresh, Tabula Rasa, something new for the both of us. And I think Belle is either Dean's mom's maiden name.

I believe. Jackie, I don't know if we've ever used the phrase kumza fresh on the toast before we have to explain what that means oh it means like it's Yiddish right it's Yiddish it means like comes fresh fresh it's it kind of gives like tabula rasa energy like that's what I just said kumza fresh tabula rasa oh but I think of kumza fresh always like when i put on a fresh pair of underwear like after like a workout or like something really sweaty in a shower i'm kumsofresh i mean all the time i'm kumsofresh yeah change the sheets kumsofresh oh kumsofresh yeah even though in my house they're called fresh cakes oh yeah in my house they're called... Crap! Fuck! What? Oh, my God.

Oh, great. What? I ordered a dresser. On Wayfair, approximately... Let me tell you. What's today's date? On November 2nd. On November 30th, it was attempted to be delivered. And I have tried ever since November 30th, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 times to get this fucking dresser delivered. There has been an issue every single time. One time, the certificate

of insurance was wrong. Second time, the dresser came and it was broken. Third time, the delivery people were like, sorry, the weather, we're skipping you. Always an issue. Today, it was the day. And they said, oh, between 10 and 12. I'm like, of course. Like the two hours a day, I'm completely unavailable. So I said during the toast, I'm not going to put my phone on do not disturb. I'm going to wait for their call. And I'm going to get this dresser fucking delivered.

I missed the call. Not meant to be. The dresser was delivered. Yay. Do you have a picture? I do. I do. I do.

Send to me. Back to what we were saying. Oh. Take a note out of Kaylin and Dean's book. That's my advice. Oh, yeah. Come up with a new name. I'm sorry.

You shouldn't have to. I think Belle is Dean's mom's maiden name. Honestly, I think that moving forward, instead of just automatically taking the husband's last name, I think we should forward instead of just like automatically taking the husband's last name i think we should sit down like they have a really honest conversation about a whose name is better b whose family history sorry is more impressive agreed c like who's accomplished more c what letter of the alphabet do we want our kids to be stuck with like a lot of things i'm sorry like we just need to be more honest. And Judy is never going to win. Sterling is going to win.

Yeah. Judy's never going to win. Unless they're up against diarrhea. I think I would almost prefer diarrhea. Let me tell you why. Because it's like. Because you could say it's diarrhea. Whereas like Judy is Judy.

There's no alternate pronunciation. It's like very phonetically, you know diaria yeah and the word like it could be in another language like something beautiful it's like french the act that makes it gross it could be like french for rose it could be French for rose and if you say it with an accent like you're golden the aria

the aria and that's something that like over time could be spelled differently I think that's what happens to last names over the years they like get changed that happened at Ellis Island a hundred percent

and there are like cultural factors that change last names forever families that have you know hundred year history that happened at Ellis Island a hundred and there are like cultural factors that change last names forever families that have you know hundred year history they come to Ellis Island it's chopped in half it's changed it's made to be like more Anglo and I think we're at that kind of time in history right now where it's like gender dynamics are changing why should the woman always take the man's name let's make a change. Love. Love, love, love. I love that. Diaria it is. Diaria.

Thank you to everyone who wrote in. Just a reminder, deartoasters.gmail.com is where you can submit. We're running low on submissions because like honestly, not to be rude, like some of them stink. So send us some new submissions

either deartoasters.gmail.com or our website, thetoastpodcast.com. Thank you to everybody who wrote in. Also, if you've written in recently and we've read your submission on air and we gave you advice and you either took it or chose to ignore it, which is totally fine, send us an update.

What went on? What happened? Write in the subject line update so we can find it. That's our show. Tomorrow and Friday's episodes are both podcast only. So YouTube girlies, gird your loins. Thank you so much for listening to The Toast. Thank you so much for listening to The To thank you so much for listening to the toast millennium morning show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every monday

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