The Toast - Taking Accountability on the Road: Wednesday, January 14th, 2026

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

1. Jessica Simpson announces collaboration with Chicken Of The Sea 22 years after THAT iconic reality TV moment (Daily Mail) (29:57) 2. Kylie Kelce Says Donna Kelce Withheld 'Inside Scoop' on Traitors from Family (PEOPLE) (36:40) 3. Chris Noth Slams Sarah Jessica Parker's Golden Globes Honor 4 Years After He Was Cut from AJLT amid Sexual Assault Allegations (PEOPLE) (42:48) 4. Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence identifies as ‘a stay-at-home mom’ (Page Six) (48:55) 5. Nikki Glaser reveals the cruel Sydney Sweeney joke she cut from 2026 Golden Globes (Page Six) (51:03) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Toast Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Toast Merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Camper & The Counselor⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lean In Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Jackson, Claude and every show the fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off, swirly. It's the toast. I sound amazing. Welcome back to The Toast and happy hump day. Don't forget to Humve and tell somebody that I love and speaking of somebody that I love. And as you guys know, would do anything to hump. It's Jackie O. Jacques Nouvelle. Jaquille. How you doing? I'm doing well. Thank you. Happy to be a guest on Cochie's Corner today.

Yes, thank you all for tuning into this new segment. We are calling Cochie's Corner. coachie sits in a corner and tells you how she feels. Sounds amazing. And she Kullex community members and Koogee's corner. I'm wearing a hat on the show today, a little baseball cap, a little toasty merch, even though our merch takes an eternity to come. You'll look like that. So the hats are top quality fabric. And it's just, I feel like it's a different vibe. Like, who knows what's going to happen. Do you remember our hat era? Sometimes like clips will come across my desk of like when you and I wore hats a couple of times like for a

week. What? Yeah, we had a hat era. I can like remember. I can count on my hands the times I've worn a hat on this show. And it's so few because it's not like I did and never wanted to do it again the next day. So I wonder how this one's going to go. I just felt like my outfit needed a little more personality. Plus it was like rainy this morning. So I was like, let me throw a baseball cap on the way at the door. No, you look so cute.

Your merch. By the way, we absolutely need to like change our merch to be called eternity merch. It's kind of a beautiful name. And like we let people know off the bat. Like our merch will take an eternity to come. It's a beautiful name. I know. And we can have a logo with like the eternity symbol.

Yeah, an infinity symbol. Isn't that nice? That's really beautiful. Eternitymerch.com. Like, where's your shirt from? Eternity. Eternity apparel. Eternity and maternity.

Oh, is that the maternity for eternity? That'll be a capsule collection by eternity. Oh, well, that's like my line specifically. Yeah. Possibilities are endless when you embrace the eternity. Well, the possibilities are eternal. That's also true. We are at eternity.

Thank you all for Tuditing. Yeah. Thank you all for Tuditing. How are you Tudating today? I'm doing amazing because I didn't stay up late watching Tell Me Lies, but you did. I didn't know like we were committed to doing a recap. We, you were at my house yesterday. Before you left, I was like, what's on tonight?

And you were like, Tell Me Lies, two episodes. So I killed myself to watch one and a quarter episodes of Tell Me Lies. And I was like so mad, but I had to go to sleep. And I was like, well, she's going to spoil it for me on the show tomorrow because she watched two. Turns out she. She watched none. Yeah, I was just like sort of taking it easy last night, you know. We had dinner together.

I mozied on home. What did I do? Oh, we FaceTime with my Mahletanam sister because she like opens and boxes for me while I was in back in New York. So yeah, I just sort of took it easy. Very self-care kind of. I'm happy food sauce oil for you. No, I have a question.

How long do you think Tommy Lise goes on for? Oh, how many seasons? Well. Is it the four years of college? Like, well, no, because like Stephen's going to graduate. So like what? Oh, he's older? Yeah, he's a senior.

Thank God. Get rid of him. Yeah. But they're also eight years in the future with the wedding. So they can do a lot with it. And I imagine it's like if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Like we have a hit show on our hands. Why would we end it?

But I do think that at some point they should end it with dignity. Right. Maybe at like season four. So if this is three, like maybe we have one more season, I just made that up. Yeah. But I don't think it's a show that like can go on forever without it getting stupid with like all the different twists and turns that eventually. lead us to this wedding. Yeah.

It's also really crazy that the two of them are still dating, IRL. Yeah. It's kind of amazing, but it's so crazy. And it's definitely not a PR relationship. It's just extremely convenient

for the network. But I also imagine, like when you're, and this happens all the time, like when you're on these sets of these shows that are like hot and heavy, like you can't help, but fall in love, art imitates life and life imitates art.

It's beautiful. So what's sort of a message for the first episode of Koji's Corner? Oh, really? What about your art is imitating your life and vice versa? Well, our art is our life. life. When you live your art, you don't need to answer questions like that. You know.

When you live your truth in an authentic. And in a cojourner truth kind of way. And the authenticity is internal. That's beautiful. I know. The authenticity is eternal. It sounds like you listen to Hunter Hayes in the car on the way here. I didn't. But you were just singing that? I made a TikTok to Hunter Hayes this morning. Oh, is he going viral? No, I wish. Like if the world was a good place, Hunter Hayes would be going viral. He's such a pejor. The world is disgusting. No, I don't want good and I don't want good enough. I want can't sleep, can't breathe without your love from porch. And one more kiss.

It doesn't make sense to anybody else. Who cares if you're all I think about. I've searched the world and I know now it ain't right if you ain't lost your mind. I don't want easy. I want crazy. You with me, baby. Let's be crazy. He takes it up a notch there.

He has a really crazy register. I heard that song on TikTok this morning. Someone was like, give me Hunter Hayes 2014 back. And it was like shocking to me how I literally haven't heard that song in maybe 10 years and I knew every single word. It goes so hard. It has no business going so hard. Like don't be near me or my shoulders when that song comes on.

No one's a one good. I'll listen to it in the car on the way home. Yeah. Hunter Hayes actually slays in a lot of ways. No, he has a beautiful voice and he makes amazing music. And he has like new music and it's still. amazing. He wrote a song called Dear God. Do you know that one? Yeah. Cry. Yeah. Cry. Tears. I want to ask you something about something that's happening on the internet. Oh, sure.

No, not like anything person. I won't ask you something. What do you think about men and women's sports? What do you think about it? I think that I really value my career as always. And that's just what I want to lead with always. I'm literally the Jimmy Fallon of the podcasting industry. What do you need me to say, I will say it. I don't stand for anything. Okay. We, we, love that for you. No, I was going to ask you about this trend that I'm seeing on the internet, and I want to know where it hails from. 2016? I have no fucking idea. I saw Tinks posting like a collage of her. I saw Danielle Carolyn. Okay, so I thought like Tinks was just doing something like on her own. I'm like, oh, that's like a cute thing. Apparently it's a part of a big trend and I saw my sister do it,

posting ugly pictures of me from 2016. When they went me, I just, I need to participate in all trends. And I did check my Instagram. I posted like really cute video. Did you say you're in it? No, show. Wait. Do you post it to feed her stories? I haven't had a chance to be on a video. this morning. Feed. I posted to feed. You didn't see? No, I haven't had a chance to be on my phone. Oh my gosh, there you are. First one. Butterflies love. I heard it's 2016. Yeah, I'm getting involved. Okay, but like where did you hear that and why? Oh my God, they can't be so literal. I don't know. It's a trend. Oh, there's me. Okay. If you listen to the, I want to enjoy watching it later. Unfortunately for me, like 2016 was the ugliest I have ever been and if I have anything to do with it,

the ugliest I will ever be. So I was very very. So I was very. limited in my pool of content because, like I said, I was mowling and fat and ugly and just like, oh my God, girl, try. And I was obsessed with eyeliner. When we did the breath and like the first year of the toe, yeah, the first year of the toes, I wore every day the thickest, most uneven poorly applied black eyeliner on, and like with a wing, a poorly constructed one. Nobody said anything to me. And of course, like, if you did, I would have just like thought you were a who was jealous of me and my beauty. But it's insane that I left the house that day.

And that's how I know, actually, that Ben really loves me. Like, he was with me during that time. And he loved me, like, so much then. It's insane how dumb and, like, blind he is. That's really funny. I do remember the winged eyeliner. And what did you think about it at the time? Like, were you talking about it behind my back?

I didn't think about it. I thought my sister was slang per usual. You and Ben, like, two blind idiots. That's really sweet. Maybe I'll go look at like 2016. That was a good year. That was a fun year. And it was like fun to see like snitch's carousel and like for once I'm in everything.

Yeah, right. You know these days, no. No, she's traveling. No campers. No, no campers. But like we used to hang out so much all of us. We still do. I mean, look at us.

Yeah. But we used to hang out so much. We used to party so much. There was so much good stuff. We used to party so much. And party so hard when I was watching Tell Me Lies last night. I was like getting a pick because like, this isn't a spoiler or anything, but they Dumali and then the next day they're like coming down and like anxiety and not like just that

whole like phase of like drinking anxiety like yeah oh my god I was literally having anxiety just watching it whenever I watch people on TV do drugs even if it goes well it's not like a bad drug story I get the worst pit in my stomach because I'm either waiting for something to go wrong I don't know like drugs give me the worst anxiety always so I feel that yeah it was like if that's what I like about the show it really transports you and like you I just have like anxiety the whole time I'm watching it um and they also really capture like that era I'm the era so it's so great and um immersive I would say but like oh my god I don't miss those like it was fun while it laughed in but like we're looking at it the rose color glasses nostalgia is a mind's trick if I'd been there I hate it

yeah but like all the partying yeah I'm good without really watch tell me lies no I know well that type of partying. Like, I've had many party eras. And I would think, like, you know, my more sophisticated party era was one of my favorites, you know? What's your more sophisticated party era? Not like club rat, dirty eyeliner vibes. Like, I don't know. I just feel like I had a sophisticated era when I was like going to better parties with better people. You know what I mean?

Sophisticated parties. Yeah. And like lots of wealthy people. That was fun. But what about like the drinking? Lots of drinking. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. So you're wearing a hat. So I'm wearing a hat. And did hat.

Zach bringing that hat and said he thinks you should wear this hat to the party tonight? Yeah, it's an option for a hat I could wear it to the party tonight. I have others, so we'll see. I have some other options from maternity merch. That's amazing. I love their stuff. Are you okay? Yeah. Are you?

Why? Like, I was being silly. It's not what we do for a living? Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm great. Do you want to get deep, open up? Let's think.

Let's think. I don't really have anything like new to share. You know, just like plugging along. You don't want to tell everyone that big thing you're going through? Oh my God, you're so crazy. No, I mean, I am going through a big thing. I just had a baby. Yeah, yeah, which is huge thing.

Major. Mm-hmm. So yeah, just doing that. Yeah. And how's that? It's good. Yeah. Yeah, it is.

How about you? Hmm. Spent the whole day with you yesterday. We did spend the whole day together. Yeah. what it was was that I was in the car and in order to like get to my next destination I had to make a U-turn

on this big ass Florida Street and I was like changing lanes and actually like was within inches for my life and I decided that the U-turn was not for me and then the street the street I saw next I do know that that street led to your house because I see it all the time when I drive to your house and I said everyone buckle up

we're going to Jackies. That's how I ended up at your house. That's how I ended up at my house. Yeah changing lanes is such drama. Changing lanes is not for me. You know I plan my turns, two turns in advance, so I never wind up in the wrong lane. And as I become a more seasoned driver with every day,

you know, sometimes I do see the opportunity to change a lane. Correct. Just to like get to your destination faster, like just be a little bit more comfortable in the lanes. Yeah, like not with someone in front of me and behind me. Yeah. One next to me is wide open. And then I'm just like, why aren't you guys going into it?

What's wrong with this lane? I am constantly like gaming. I don't know if everybody thinks about lane changes the whole time. And I was really taught to drive by Ben Saffer, who is obsessed with changing lanes. Like, like literally Pac-Man. Yeah,

goes between every car, like just to keep going ahead. Frogger. And the funniest is when you see someone change lanes from behind you because they're trying to get there faster than like you both end up at the red light together. And it's like, what did that get you?

Right. You almost killed your whole family. For what? We're still sitting at the same light. So both yesterday and actually on my way, again this morning, I had like a near fatal lanes change. Like to me, if I ever get in a car crash, it will be from changing lanes. Yeah.

Do you have a good camera on your car that shows, like when you have your signal on to change lanes, it like shows you? No, Tesla has that. Mine has like, no, I have my rearview mirror. And then on the mirror, there's a little orange triangle. So it's like, don't go. But I do feel like the triangle is like a little sensitive. Like, bitch, I could fit.

So a lot of times I will effectively, I will effectively change lanes even though the triangle was flashing. But then sometimes like the triangle, I was like, oh, yeah, you were on to, something their triangle. My bad, my bad. And so this morning, this guy was like, I literally almost killed him. He was so mad at me. And I, it's very important when driving, like, to not always be on the offensive, like, to know when you're wrong. Like, I was wrong. And I was like, I was like, it's always. So, you know, I was making friends on the road as well and just sort of taking accountability, which is really important. It's so good to take accountability. On the road.

When you're driving. I take a lot of accountability. I've been, like, digging up my car. Just dinging it up. Just digging it up. Like, we have to park a lot. We do. Commuting requires a lot of parking last week. I didn't have to eat you guys because it was a Friday episode, but after I parked on the street and paid the meter, I like forgot that where I parked, there was a curb in front of me. So like when I left,

you just started driving straight. And did you mark up your vehicle? I didn't see anything, but I saw a lady on the sidewalk. And she looked at me, and I was like, the whole car like, you know what? You know what?

realize when you drive a lot. When you drive a lot and start doing it up, you realize, like, your car can take a lot, you know, like something that you think would leave a mark, but you have a white car. My car's black. Like, next car, I'm getting black. Yeah, what goes on in my vehicle is,

that's a really good point. Is genuinely none of my business. And yesterday, I parked in a regular parking spot, but I guess I went like too close to the, what's it called, at the front of the parking spot, the concrete slab? The curb? No, no, no.

Oh, oh, like the, the parking line. The bumper. No, no. What is that thing called? The line that you pull up to, that is like a concrete block. I parked like, I guess on top of it. So when I pulled out, there was another jump. There was another jump in.

The car was jumping. You were jumping and thump in and bump in and whaling out. Yeah. So lessons learned. Taking accountability for that, my be. Yeah. It's just like, this is, again, another thing where, like, for me and my personal journey, New York has.

Florida beat. Like, it's seriously the cab driver's problem if I'm in a vehicle and like what happens next. I have actually been in motor vehicle collisions, like in a taxi or an Uber. It's not your problem. I literally get out. Like, I'm sorry that that happens start, but I have places to be. Same. Like, I've actually been in a taxi that's been pulled over.

And I'm not responsible. In New York City, like, you can just get out. And I often do. I always have. I've been rear-ended. I've been pulled over. And I'm like, you're on your own. I said, we all got to run our own race.

Yeah. And sir, I wish you the best, but I have a podcast to record. I guess like it would be in the moment it feels weird to leave because it's like, what if he needs help? Like what if I need to give a statement? But in thinking about these things, it's like, why would you stick around? Like, why you don't know this person? Right.

You don't like leave. Why are you hanging out in a random car? Yeah. And it's like I am an empath, of course. But I'm a realist first. And I know like if I stay here and support this man in his journey, like I will be late for work. 1,000 percent. And like, is the meter still running?

Okay, so let me think In the times that I have When I got rearranged in the Uber Uber's easy like I just said end the trip And I had paid whatever But in the yellow cab when he got pulled over I think I paid yeah of course He's about to get a big fat ticket

Like it's the least I can do But he has to end the meter Which he was able to do Meter equal to ended Yeah I think also if you're like a New York City traffic cop You know like part of pulling over a cab Is like the paperwork comes first Yeah speaking of I meant to ask the gang

About where I parked It said like I just want to make sure they could said all others will be towed you know oh i know wait but i do think no it's not park there no i parked back there but and there's a couple spots that are safe for a particular tenant i one time parked there and i got a nasty sticker on my car okay so then there's others that are like but it's part of the plaza and it said but i'm in the plaza i'm a customer of the plaza so i'm so i'm so glad you brought that up because if you guys saw me texting on my phone right here before um i am parked in the other tenant yeah and i just got a text about it so um that's why i just asked her to go out and like maybe move

my car. Oh, I was wondering what the drama was. If you saw me on my phone, like, there's vehicle drama. I experienced that in June. I parked in the other tenant and they take their parking really seriously. And now that we're like doing sort of like a residency at this studio, like how do we go about getting a sign? Yeah. Saved for like the most famous podcasters on the planet. And that would apply to anyone who uses this studio. No, it wouldn't. But we got it at this hour. Correct. Just someone to talk to the city council about, you know, yeah, the next meeting. Okay. I know you'd like to be like an informed community member. I, am.

Yeah. Am I? Someone to think about. Well, let's get into the story, shall we, as long as your car is not getting towed. Yeah, well, actually, what's great is that Ben was just wrapping off a t-shirt for me. Right. And so he's working on that, can you handle the car thing? Are we good?

Do we have to move the car? We have to move the car. Okay. I just feel like that person who gets that special vehicle. While I understand that they're an important person. The person who gets the- The special spot. Are they an important person?

I don't feel like they are. Well, I know that they're a business owner in this complex. and like so I just feel like they could have fucked off and like for once tried to you know join the rest of us and struggling to find a parking spot it's for their customers and I just feel like they don't have enough to justify the two spots you know it's for them it's for the business owner confirmed business owner yeah well the owner of that oh oh they oh yeah yeah oh yeah oh I thought it was for their customers no no I'm like well it's well I'll buy a watch like it's always open so yeah what is that said now we do have stories to get into even though I don't feel I feel like it's one of those days where the stories are just like kind of an inconvenient truth. I agree. And who knows where they'll lead. So as always, like we will do the stories. Of course. But if we don't harp on them, don't be upset. There's not like a lot to harp on. I just feel like it's going to be one of those days where I have no choice but to make every story about myself, which is different from other days, of course. Yeah. We'll see. We'll see where we can go with it. But you're just looking so like,

you know? No. Like your little hands, like your nails look so long and nice. I'm kind of jealous. And you've got like jewels and you're just looking cute. You know like when I'm just Thank you for noticing. I'm trying to enhance other areas like Of course, of course, of course.

Like, No, when you're not, when you're not loving, when you're not living in your dream body, like other things do need to just like be amped up. Like I always wear more makeup when I'm like feeling insecure about my weight. I always do my hair like better than ever.

I wear more jewelry. I'm on top of my nails. I'm always like waxing my eyebrows as if like it's going to take 10 pounds off, you know? And then I do weigh myself. after because like the weight of the hair of course. And it's very heavy. Yeah, of course. Heavy is the head.

So thank you for noticing the little details. It's been a pleasure and an honor. You are a detailed person, I would say. I would say, but you can't get lost in the details is what I would also say. Focus on big picture. Shop eternity. Shop eternity, merge.com. Yeah, it's actually shoptoesmerch.com and it will take an eternity,

but it's be the best things you ever wore. Like, for real. Like, seriously, things you'll give up to your gun. shoulder. Like this hat is from like three years ago. It looks brand new. It's from like a year ago, but yeah. I'm like you now. Everything was three years ago. Isn't it amazing to live like without that time space continuum? Everything was two to three years ago. Two to three weeks or two to three years. Or two to three months. Yeah. Not sure. Without further do to do to do, here are the fast five stories that you do need to know. Mm-hmm. In no particular order. Um, in no particular order.

I don't know. It feels like the order is a little particular since you're moving things around. Yeah. She was that crazy headline, did you? I don't know what I chose. Another one that you showed me before the show. No, no. You read it to everyone? Oh my gosh, yes.

Jackie was like strolling the Daily Mail and she was like, this headline just like kept getting crazier. This is a worst nightmare headline. And just when you think the headline is over and it couldn't possibly get worse, it does. Harrowing moment, 550-pound internet star is lifted into police van by six in caps cops because she was too big to fit an SUV during arrest. Why are you laughing? Before she vanished. You are before she vanished.

What? I just want to say laughing at a time like this, you are never beating the fatphobic allegations. No, but like just the story gets crazier and crazier. And like, what she found? I don't know because it's a Daily Mail exclusive and I don't subscribe so we'll never know what happened. Not been putting important news behind a paywall.

Yeah. And like they just keep like bringing up her weight. It's just a nightmare scenario. I know. And that always was something that gave me peace as an overweight person was that I was definitely harder to kidnap. And now that I'm on Zepbound, like I'm constantly worried about my safety. I don't even understand. I don't understand the headline.

Well, then it's not a story. Like, why was she being lifted? Why was she in police custody? She is a modern day. What's eating Gilbert Grape? Not enough people talk about that movie. One of Johnny Depp's earliest works, him and Leonardo DiCaprio are both in it. They're both like 16.

And they played this like really poor family who live in the middle of nowhere. And their mother is like morbidly obese. She like can't even, she can't leave her bed. And Leonardo DiCaprio is autistic, right? In the film. And Johnny Depp's just like trying to keep this family together, trying to go to school, trying to fall in love, trying to do this.

And eventually, spoiler alert, the mother passes away like in her sleep. And they don't want to call like an ambulance because they wouldn't be able to get her out of the house. They'd have to fork her out and it would be too much shame for the family so they end up like burning the house down with her in it it was so why like we were watching that movie like i saw that movie i was like 11 i know but like that was like the movie of that year like imagine if they came out now like and by the way that movie was like whatever that what's the opposite of woke like that movie was insane like he wouldn't bring girls home because he was so embarrassed

of his mom it was like it was really i remember what was the point of the movie what was eating gilbert you know yeah i don't know well Well, let's get into the actual stories, not the not story. If you just, if you want to be upset, you should watch that movie. Our first story, I actually would like to watch that movie now as an adult, like, see what it was about. Yeah, what all the fuss was about. Because, like, we just remember, like, the very, like, dark parts.

No, and, like, memorable parts. And did anybody else see that movie or just us when we were 11? No, I think that that was, like, the Oscar movie of the year, the same way slumdog millionaire was, like, the movie. Like, that was the movie. Like, the fact that when everyone, when there were those jokes that, like, the Oscars, Leo had never had an Oscar and he had. Like that movie was his Oscar movie.

Like he was the most profound performance. But you know the Oscar is about a body of work and that was like his first movie. Who cares? Just, I'm just telling you. That kid from adolescence just won. And like that was his first work. Yeah, they just make shit up. Yeah.

Okay. And like you're not you buying into it. I'm just like telling you know what they would, how they would respond to that, you know? Sure. You know? If you want to start the year off right, get to the container store. They can help you organize any space in your home and pretty, much your life. My life and home were very disorganized in the last few months being postpartum,

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That's drinkag1.com slash toast. Drinkag1.com slash toast. First up, let's get into the stories. Jessica Simpson announces a collaboration with Chicken of the Sea, 22 years after the iconic reality TV mom. Have they not done this already? It feels redundant. It does feel redundant.

It obviously feels late. And why now? I feel like there were a couple times they could have done it. Obviously right after it happened. also like after her memoir like there was just like a lot of big jessica moments and that's to be so dumb but like i don't eat tuna chicken of the sea is a brand of tuna yes and when she was on her newlyweds show she was like well is it chicken or tuna because it is by the way i never like she's so dumb dumbed it's a bad name that's like having a brand of chips that's like cookies of earth like well it's a chip

yeah i understand the confusion but it is tuna and if you're eating it i think you would know it's tuna. Okay, but also just devil's advocate here. What makes tuna the chicken of the sea? It just like it being the most ubiquitous animal eaten. I didn't even know that they were still around as a brand. That's quite a feat. I think your husband uses it. Absolutely not. I literally know he does that wild. Yeah. Wild earth salmon. No, but when he does tuna. Oh, sorry, wild earth albacore. You know that one. And like if he has to, he'll do Star Kiss. He does not mess around with chicken, I'm a sick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's very specific. He loves canned tuna. I've actually, like, recently bought canned tuna because he sometimes makes tuna at my house. Well, he doesn't love canned tuna. He likes to make his own tuna in a can. Yeah, so now I have that.

Yeah. Star Kiss. And the other one. Star Kiss is like available everywhere. But then there's like... Wild Planet, it's called, sorry. If I'm at the, like, you know, the fancy store. Whole Foods.

Yeah, I get that one. It's like yellow. So she made the surprise announcement on Tuesday via her Instagram. page or to her followers. New collab coming soon. I'll give you a hint. It's mermaid approved. She included several photos of her at a recent Chicken of the Sea event where she was wearing a sexy black dress. She was wearing a black dress that I kind of need. You know? I feel like it's very my physique. Yeah, she looks great. Yeah, she does. I love Jessica Simpson. Yeah, me as well. Important time to bring up, she is my birthday buddy. So I probably love her more than you.

Okay. I'll back down. What's your favorite Jessica Simpson song? Maybe with you I recently like Re-listened to a song of hers It was like on a playlist that I was listening to a lot Oh I know it I don't even need to look it up Oh I think I'm in love

Boy I think that I'm in love with you And I've been doing silly things When it comes to you Oh yeah Oh yeah So yeah So yeah love this Toasty Lions maybe Let's see how it ages

But like you're a little late I don't feel like it's Toasty Lions actually. We haven't added Toasty Lions in a while. Really? I feel like we recently added one. What did we remember? I remember we actually added two to the list and we weren't sure if they- Let's see how they did.

If they aged well. This would be a good day to like sort of clean out the list. It's such, by the way, hashtag clear the lists. Oh, Kogi. Okay. So I'm going to start with the one. I'm going to do the whole list. Okay.

Toasty Lions, by the way, are awards, the toasts version of the Cannes Lions Awards. It's for the best in branding, like breast brand partnerships, collaborations and ideas. Things that just make sense, what we like to call smart marketing, smart marketing. So one set are officially cemented on the list, Lindsey Hubbard for Kleinfeld's again, which is where you resell wedding dresses.

That she never used. Ryan Merriman, the actor from Smart House, doing an ad for Samsung Smart House. So cute. Flip off doing ads on the toast. Oh, yep. Alex Earl, Carl's Jr. Oh, I feel like, yeah.

Things that feel right, that. Oh, that had the question mark next to it. I haven't thought about it since then, but I do still think it counts. No, it's good. No, it's like amazing. Like she's the Carl's Jr. girl. That used to mean something. Okay.

I'm going to leave it with a question mark. We have to come back in like six months. What was the last one? Too soon to call. No, there's a bunch. Kristen Cavalari's e-show podcast tour. I really did think that was like brilliant. Did it ever come out?

Yeah, I watched it. Get rid of it. You were on maternity leave. Get rid of it. I was watching everything on maternity leave. Get rid of it. Wow. I hate actually like to leave.

rather strike through, you know? Well, you should because. To note that like, yeah, no, it's, it was once there. You're erasing history. I agree. Strike through. Or just, like, write, delete. I'll just write like, no.

Delete. Yeah. Astronomer, Gwyneth Paltrow. That's there. Oh, did we talk about the astronomer woman, like doing her tell-all? Okay. I think we did. Taylor, Frankie Paul, that's the Bacheloret.

Yeah. Even though that's not like a marketing. No, but it was like Hulu, ABC. That would be like a feat in casting. And I would put that also with. with hairspray, which I do know we have a list of the things that are perfectly gas movies. I think Taylor Frankie Paul would be on that list. We also have to wait to see her season.

True, true. And then, oh, the girlfriend Amazon show X Dear Toasters. That's good. Toasty Lion. Toasty Lion. I feel like the list is lacking. Everyone needs to step it up. No, I just feel like it's been of those lists that's been so hyped up.

You know, we can't even go back to it because we're only going to be disappointed. Yeah. So, yeah, I guess this wouldn't be a Toasty Lion. What was it again? Chicken of a C. Yeah, it's just like low-hanging for it. This is like if I was, if I worked in marketing and this was my client and I was like an unoriginal person, this would be the idea that I had. Yeah.

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Because I feel like it would be like cool and different if it was like Nick Lachet, you know? Or like those girls from the toast. Oh, of course. And let me just say, I love chicken of the C tuna. Every day. I talked about starkest and mild earth.

And that's probably what they were. wanted, you know? Yeah, so that we could then say, we've had circus, we've had wild earth. What's the best tuna? Chicken of the sea. Bring back jingles, okay? Why does nobody have a jingle? Single-handedly are bringing back jingles. Of course, but I just mean if you want to like have a lasting impact, like, you know who's holding the, the jingle industry together? Liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty, Liberty. Liberty. We write really great jingles. I don't know who else has a jingle.

I think a lot of people do. Goldfish used to have a great one. Snack that smiles back, goatfish. Mm-hmm. I love jingles. That's like how if I'm walking through the store and I see it, I like seeing the jingle

and then pick it up. Yeah. Jingle all the way, huh? Jingle all the motherfucking way. Our next story, Kylie Kelsey is talking about Donna Kelsey being on traitors. Oh, what does she say? and how she withheld inside scoop on traders from the family.

You know what's so funny? When I think of like the Kelsey's and like who, like, I know that she's Taylor's sister-in-law. And I always, like, I forget that Donna and Kelsey know each. Kylie, know each other. Yeah. And they're both like the female Kelsey's, you know. Yeah.

Who have like Kelsey in their name, but they're actually not related aside from through marriage. Yeah. No, I forgot about them too together. Yeah. So, also like any excuse to talk about traders. Donna Kelsey was tight-lifted about her experience on Peacocks the Traders. Her daughter-in-law,

tells people. She said she did not tell us much at all, which I respect. I respect. You've got to keep the mystery alive, she said. I wonder. I mean, if I was done, I wouldn't be like shouting from the rooftops what I did on that show because it wasn't good. Like, I would be tight-lipped as well.

I wonder if she even told them that she was the traitor and the secret traitor. Like, I wonder if she told them that much. Yeah. I'm also really curious. They obviously knew something when she left and came home two days later. You know what else I was thinking about? The contestants that like get sent home, when do they find out who the traders were?

Like when they watch? Or like, yeah, like, you know what I mean? Maybe they have some inside scoop. And also they probably like talk to people in the cast. And when like they end the show, they probably talk, you know, when they all go home, they probably talk to them. Yeah, but most of the people who get eliminated won't know who the traitors are. I guess actually towards the end you might start being.

being able to figure it out. Right. Even if he gets sent home. Porsche went home. Say whoever goes home this in the new episode, say it's Ron or whatever. He goes home and like if he can message Porsche, not that they're friends and be like,

oh, by the way, Donna was the first traitor. Oh, yeah, yeah, right, right. But I mean the remaining traitors. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you think Taylor's watching traitors? I do because Travis is watching.

Yeah. Do you think Taylor watches reality TV? I don't know why. She does not strike me. Didn't she say she watched Love Island. What did she say she watched? Love is blind. You're right. She did say that. Also, at Coachella, remember she met Teresa, Judey's? And it didn't, when you watched a video and when Teresa told the story on her podcast, it didn't sound like there was any sort of like recognition. Yeah, it just Teresa asked

for a photo. Like if you watch any Bravo, you know Teresa, even if you don't watch Jersey Housewives. Yeah. I feel like she probably knew who she was. I'm sure she watches some Bravo over the years. But she's definitely watched traitors with Travis to support Donner. Yeah. Who knows if she'll continue watching if it was enough of the hook. I feel like no. Yeah. It wasn't off to like an amazing start.

Yeah. And they kind of like. And they bullied her mother-in-law. Yeah. So even though like they were right because she was the traitor. I don't think Travis is going to keep watching. Yeah. I don't know.

I feel like he's more likely to keep watching than her. Just in terms of like things that I think she would like and things that he would like. But I feel like the cast wouldn't be for him. Like I wouldn't, I don't think like athletes. I'm surprised you don't have any like former athletes on there. I'm sure they do other seasons. But yeah, I just feel like he wouldn't be that interested in the group that they have.

Yeah, especially after they disrespected his mother. But Donna did say that she and Jason like watch every season of traitors. He's just a traitor's fan. He's a fan of Jason. I think so. That's the vibe I got that they like watch the show together because they love it. Now,

we didn't talk about how actually when Donna said she was a traitor. She kind of slayed with her delivery. You got yourself a traitor. You got yourself a traitor. Honestly, That was the most energy. Like she gave the entire time. And first of all, I thought for sure she wasn't.

So I was going to be shocked no matter what. But I do really respect how she delivered that line. It's such an exciting thing to say. And you have one chance to say it. And I don't know if she practiced in the mirror or whatever, but it was really good. Wow. She's really good. What I also liked about her is that she never, like, lied straight up.

She never said, I'm not a traitor. And that kind of, you know, was her nail in the coffin. But like, yeah, anyone can lie. but it's like how you can deflect. Yeah. And that's why I do believe I would be a great traitor because I... You just lie? I have no like moral high ground.

I have no issue lying. And I'm quite amazing at it. Although I do need to work on my whole looking up thing. Yeah. So it's like, may the best liar win also the best actor or actress. Correct. And you guys know like I was kind of meant to be an actress. Yes, we do know.

Let's improv ready? we're at a coffee shop oh my god you know this is my least favorite game okay fine i'm the barista bars what are you like a customer okay hi hi hi oh my god you fucking bitch i mean hi hi hi what can i get for you today sorry um before we get started what are your pronouns the cough and scene that was really good oscar yeah you should be the barista okay well I'm like asking me my pronouns. Wait, I don't get it. It's very brister.

Yeah, that's why I asked. Baristas are always like, have funky pronouns. Oh, like you're just being like a respectful customer. A respectful patron, yes. Got it, got it. Wow.

You're very kind. Well, in my acting life, see, wasn't that good acting? Very good. You should go out for some shit. Like, you can do that. I'm just kind of scarred from the one time I auditioned for Law and Nutter SVU and I didn't get it.

Now again, I was too beautiful for the role. We know this. I've told the story a million times. But rejection hurts. And actually, in terms of all the jobs that, like, I would be fit for, I think I would sooner set up chairs at the beach. Because you guys know that's, like, actually my nightmare job being like a hotel beach attendant having to like sweat in the sun, put up chairs and umbrellas.

But I might be better suited for that than I would be for acting because like I, like rejection and me, we are not friends. Yeah. You have to. Yeah. There's a lot of things that you're not cut out for. Like, yeah, my mental health. Like I would be on alert if I was like a concerned family member of mine because I really would not be able to take it. Yeah.

Okay. So no. No, no. Chris Knoth is taking a diggit at his Sex and the City Post star Sarah Jessica Parker in an expletive filled Instagram post. You know, I'm giggling. I'm just thinking, I don't know if you watched every single maternity leave episode, but Joey Kamasas said the funniest thing. I was like, we were talking about guns. And I'm like, do you have a gun or would you have a gun?

He's like, I couldn't. Oh, yeah. So I'm like, why? He's like, if I ever. because if I ever looked past Sorry If I ever walked past the mirror I looked fat I would kill myself

He is so funny Like seriously sometimes like I'm just giggling He's a threat to himself Yeah right Understand know thyself A hundred percent And he said like Because his joke is that

Like his biggest enemy in this life Is his inner sabote Okay sorry Oh yeah Chris Noth I did see this So he posted a snap of himself working out in the gym and he wrote fuck new year's let's go and then someone commented saying you mean fuck s jp and her award right l-o-l she won like an honorer award at the golden globe

did she like give a speech and everything yeah the carroll burnett award matthews there like a bunch of made videos it was like a big you know bat mitzvah type of affair so the person said you mean fuck her and her award right and he responded saying right um i feel like that's actually not what he meant because like the picture was like in the gym it was very like gay new me so i actually i don't think there was subtext within this particular caption, although I do believe he hates Sarah Jessica Parker. I would love to see him and Kim Cottrell get together because they're literally that I hate Sarah Club. Now, if I recall, there were allegations against Chris Knoth after the first season of and just like that. And he got fired. Everybody said, like, you're guilty. We're out.

He maintained his innocence. You know, I'm sure at the time it was like really challenging, although now in hindsight, getting fired from that show, like was probably one of the better things to happen to him. I don't know like enough about the allegations. Like, remember if he was like like really guilty or like really not I just feel like as like a woman in Hollywood like she wouldn't be caught dead even like defending this person who she's known for 20 years um right and like recast in the next show even though she had done working with him and could have gotten away scoffrey right in the next show right if he was this bad guy and everyone but again I don't know anything about the allegations and literally I'm not stepping in this because

like seriously not my plate I didn't even watch and just like that like these people are not my issue there was just like not my plate um and I want to talk about the picture I think he looked very handsome. In this picture with the dumbbells? With the gains. Making gains. Yeah, he is handsome and he looks handsome. Did he ever do anything acting-wise outside of this show?

I feel like, yeah, I feel like he's like... Like what? He just... Oh, I actually, I know what. Tom Selleck. I feel like he's in one of those shows, you know, a CSI. I know. Law and order.

No, no. With Julietta Margulies. What's that show? The good lawyer or something? What? The good wife. That is. Is that Julianna Margulies?

I'll go to his I-M-D-B. I feel like it is. Yeah, yeah. The Good Wife. Yeah. Is he still on The Good Wife? You guys shocked that I know Julianna Marguerlees?

I feel like I don't get up credit. I know you want to keep saying her name. Zionist Queen. Julietta Marguerlees. Beautiful. You should watch a guy. Oh, you know what I watched us night? I restarted the pit.

Not restarted. Sorry, new season. Great. The show is so good. And, you know, because it was just nominated and everyone was talking about it, I didn't know, like, the lore behind it. So the good wife ended in 2016. The actor from the pit, Noah Weil, also Jewish King.

Looks like Adam Sandler. If Adam Sandler were good looking, yeah. Yeah. No, I never saw him before. And then I was seeing him at the award show. I said, oh, Adam Sandler wore a suit. And it was not him. Okay.

Maybe you were looking at Adam Sandler. Like, they don't look alike. And Adam Sandler was there. Okay, wait. Noah Wild, W-Y-L-L-E. I'm on my way. Adam Sandler. Are you crazy?

See? What are you doing? Dr. Ravi? Hold on. Like in some, okay, in some pictures. I'm like from far away. And if I close my eyes, yeah, it looks just like him. Well, I started season two of the pit, which is one of my favorite shows.

And I didn't know. So he was like, like, okay, look at this still of the pit. That looks like Adam Sandler. Can you agree? Like, it's tiny. Sure. Like, whatever. I just, sure.

He, like, kind of came out of nowhere, but I didn't realize he was, and, actor on ER with George Clooney. And then like he didn't really take off in the way. He loves playing a doctor though. He's got the chops. My phone is calling me saying someone's calling you maybe Claudio Sherry. Claudia Oshare. Okay, pick up.

It's you. Hello. Claudia O Sherry. Hi. Is it Claudia? It sounds like a Sherry. Yes. Can I just call you back in like a couple of minutes?

Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. What a crazy show today. Yeah, today's show is definitely manic. A little wacky. You know, was Claudia okay? Like, I don't know why it said Claudia. Like, one time, I must have, like, been at something.

I, like, made a pledge to, like, so. And I never fulfilled a pledge, and they always call. I'm like, I'm happy to pay. But, like, please don't call me. I'm always, like, email me, email. And they never follow up via email. They just, like, call back. I will fulfill my pledge at some point in my lifetime.

They have to make it, like, I'm, much simpler. How would you fulfill your pledge over the phone even? You know? Credit card? Like, yeah, correct. Do not call me. Do not come. I won't be picking up the phone. Don't call me. I agree. Lodi O Sherry. You know there's a feature on your phone that like numbers that you don't have saved. Like they won't ring for you. They like screen it and yeah, I don't like that either. Well, I was missing like really important. Of course. So I unfortunately had to turn that off. Oh, I didn't even know you could turn it off. I actually need to. It's annoying as fuck. The screening. Oh, anytime they've screened a call, it's something I desperately need.

Now they only screen like spam, which calls me every day. Okay, I need to figure that out. Our next story, Oscar winning actress Jennifer Lawrence identifies as a stay-at-home mom, she said. So Jennifer Lawrence went on smartless. I'm sure she said a lot of stuff. Oh, my God. Why? That's like perfect for her.

Well, first of all, Jennifer Lawrence went on a podcast and nobody knows about it because they don't have video. So like that's just annoying to watch somebody beautiful. Like we have to listen. No thanks. And two, like I'm just so sick of those guys, honestly. I'm fine with them. I'm not. I'm sick of them like for the bit.

but like for real, I think they're, you know, fine. Okay, whatever. Anyway, she said, I identify as a stay-at-home mom. She said that she's obviously working and recently had to juggle a hectic schedule. I normally have a busy three months while I'm filming, but even in that sense, it's calm because there's nothing else to do. I just go to work. I do that.

I come home, I sleep and then I do it again. And then like two weeks while you promote. It is hectic. You know what? I could see people rolling their eyes at this, but I do, like, she is not a celebrity who actively works a lot. She's not like going to a lot. lot of events and doing a lot of brand deals and filming eight TV shows and three movies.

She does like maybe a movie a year and she's in that one to your commercial. Like yeah, those couple of weeks where she's working, the kid's dad can chip in. And I'm sure she has an act. She does like two weeks of press. Like she said again, busy two weeks. But yeah, I guess so say it's four weeks out of the year that she's super busy but still even is like around. Available.

And then the rest of the months is a stay at home mom. That's like a nice way to think about it. Yeah. I don't find it as a mother. No. I thought it was sweet. Yeah. Do you consider yourself a stay-at-home mom?

No, only because I really don't like to stay at home with the baby. Like, oh, my God, time moves so slow when you're just like sitting around the house. Even if you're doing like the good engaging, like mat time and all that shit, I'm like, let's just go somewhere. That's why I went to your house yesterday. Like, I can't just sit around in the house with the kid. Like, it's so slow and boring. Yeah. So I'm like, no, and I don't consider myself a stay-at-home mom.

I'm like a part-time working mom. I don't know what the time. I don't know what the time. But I'm not saying at home because we work here. So like, I don't know. She likes to go out. Yeah, and I have my studio in the city. Like, I have to leave.

And try and change lanes. Yeah, right. And try and kill people. Myself included while changing lanes. Are you ready for our fifth and vinyl story? I am. Are you? Yeah.

She was your own adventure, but I've made my choice. But Nikki Glazer is revealing the Sydney, Sweeney joke that she cut from the 2026 Golden Globes. I actually love this when people... I like when she tells us what... Yeah, so she shared like jokes that they cut. So she shared a bunch of jokes

that she cut with Howard Stern. Yes, this has become like a tradition. After last year she went on Howard Stern, after the Tom Brady Rose, she went on Howard Stern and she shares. She does like the segment where she reads the jokes that she was going to say. Yeah, and then she like explains why she cut them.

And I guess Sydney wasn't at the award show, which is why she cut this one, but she said, people just aren't going to the theater to see things. If you don't believe me, there was a movie this year where Sidney Sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours

and it made $14. What movie? The Christy, like the, boxer. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's funny. That's like a good joke and I think that it's unoffensive-ish. Like if Sydney was there, like it would have been fine. It's a little demeaning. Well, it depends what type of comic you want to be, right? A man could never say it first of all. Oh my God, jail. Jail, like literally prison. Lock him up. And I don't know. I don't know how Sydney feels about Sydney self. Do you know what I mean. Like she is this like modern day sort of like Marilyn Monroe like sex figure. Yeah.

Sexy woman. And that's been an intentional choice on her part. So. And she leans into it. But I also feel like this movie that actually might have hurt her feelings more because this movie was her serious one. Passion project. And she like blended it herself. It did make three. 14 is generous. It made three dollars. And it wasn't about her like jumping around in tiny shorts. Right. It was about the story. Anyone but you was like a movie about her body. Like, yeah. It was very, it was like very male gaze. Yeah.

And this was like serious and, hey, like eyes. Don't look at me. Yeah. Yeah. So I think it probably would have. I mean, yeah, it's a little. It's a little offensive. It's a well-written joke, though.

You won't catch me saying anything negative about Cittendenie Sweeney, especially not today. She met with two hostages in the last few days, Noah Argamani and Avina Tan Orr. So she's my queen. A thousand percent. So we're not making jokes at her expense. No. Mark Ruffalo on the other hand. It's getting worse.

He is really so crazy. And you know what's like really? He's so crazy. And he's in every movie. Like every year he's at these awards shows because people keep putting him in movies like no matter how crazy he is. He just says like the nuttyest things like about everything. And it's like someone's going to cast him again tomorrow like run it back and do it

again. We're going to have to see him at the next show and the next show and the next show. And it's just so crazy because like and this is just regardless of my feelings about Mark Ruffalo, Hollywood is like a very vain, shallow industry. And like in terms of men who are aging well, Mark Ruffalo is. really not one of them. Like he actually like I'm sorry to me mean like looks terrible. Um and like if that was a woman like seriously she would never work again. How Mark Ruffalo is more booked and busy than Ember when he's seriously never looked worse. No and he's like actually a raving lunatic and I feel like

most of the time like when someone's a raving lunatic it's like okay like we're gonna put you out to pasture. Right. He must have great agents. Yeah. Maybe he's a good actor. You know like I mean just like heaven was so good like I'm I will still watch that movie because I shouldn't suffer. Yeah. Maybe he's just like the best man for the job of the acting. Which requires a raving lunatic. Acting is really not that hard. There's no way. There's no way.

Yeah. There is this like children's books. I must have gotten it. I didn't buy it myself. It just like made this way. It's called the Gruffalo. And it's about this like made up creature in the forest called the Gruffalo. And then like spoiler alert, the Gruffalo exists.

And it's like these wildebeest, like this ugly big. Yeah. The Gruffala. That person obviously listens to the toast whoever wrote the book. Did you buy that book? No, I said it made its way towards me in like a gift or something. I did not buy it. Oh.

I kind of like it. Okay. Yeah, it's cute. It has a nice message. Does it rhyme? Yeah, of course. I don't mess around with books that don't rhyme. Reminder.

Camerian counselor. Literally the only book worth having. I'm being dead fucking serrated. And we were talking last night. You were at my house and you were like, what book should I get any new books? I think we're going to go to the bookstore, which is always really fun. Yeah, because like, I just have a problem. I'm not, maybe I'm just like a protective mother, but I was like reading this book, like, about a dog.

And the dog is not listening to his mom. And like, that's the whole point of the book. Why the fuck would I be reading that? Like give him any ideas. I'm literally, I'm like burning books. Yeah, I'll give you a list. I find problems with everything. I'll tell you what I say it was. Of course, Rainbowfish is a communist. Like, I find issues in all books. And I'm trying not to be this like sort of nitpicky mother. But it's, we need to go to Barnes & Noble. And sometimes I feel like there's bad behavior throughout the book. And by the end, like, it does get better. But sometimes like, like, the kids don't have the, like, don't want to read through till the end. They're just getting up in the middle of the book when, like, this child behaved so poorly. And he's, like, being rewarded for it. No, I don't mess around like that. Right.

And the lesson doesn't come until the end, but it's too late by them. We're asleep. They didn't finish the book. Of course. Another issue. But you don't see that in Cameron, the counselor. She's a queen throughout. I think we can call it.

Did we do five stories? Like, I just feel like the stories, like I said, were an inconvenient truth. But this was definitely one of our better episodes. And we'll leave you with that. Thank you so much for listening to The Tollumel. Comey Lys Recap tomorrow. Can we say that? I'll be ready.

I'll try. Oh my God, they're still not like you. I know. You're always like ball busting me. Like watch your shows, do your homework. I am. You like watch all this stuff this weekend and you were so like, watch, and you're so like, happy.

Yeah. I'll try. Interesting. Thank you guys so much. Thank you so much. I'm a much so much so much. We're watching. I need to be a website.

I'm a website. So, I'm a website. I'm a podcast. I'm a podcast. I'm supposed to say by a video. we have a bit of selling in wickedly talented we are. Love ya. Bye.