The Toast - The Five F's: Monday, March 9th, 2026

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

1. Timothée Chalamet Faces Backlash From Ballet and Opera Communities After Viral ‘No One Cares’ Comment (Variety) (23:53) 2. Travis & Jason Kelce’s Mom Donna Remodeling Her Modest Florida Home (TMZ) (32:49) 3. Rachel Zoe's Los Angeles Home Broken Into (TMZ) (35:56), Rihanna’s Beverly Hills mansion hit by gunfire while singer was at home (Page Six) (38:55) 4. Kevin Costner and Brooks Nader Get Close While Chatting at Las Vegas Casino (TMZ) (45:27) 5. Alix Earle Teases Tough Conversations with Stepmom Ashley Dupré in New Reality Show (PEOPLE) (48:26) 6. Dave Portnoy Responds To Sofia Franklyn By Announcing New Book 'Cancel Me if You Can' (Instagram) (54:22) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Toast Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Toast Merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Camper & The Counselor⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lean In Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Jackson, Claude and neighbor show the fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off, swirly. It's the toast. I sound amazing. Welcome back to The Toast and happy Monday after daylight savings. We've sufficiently sprung forward. And I just want to say this is Monday's not the vibe, like at all. It's not.

Daylight savings is not the vibe. I'm not going to go on and on about why it's just not a great idea. I don't feel like it needs to be explained. It doesn't need to be said. I feel like we're all the line. We're waiting for our civil servants to do something about it. So true. I just can't take it anymore.

Cancel daylight savings, especially this one. The other one where we get- But them kids in Alaska, okay. The other one where we get an extra hour of sleep, like, fine, fine. But that means that we have to deal with this one where we lose an hour. And they both, they cancel each other out, like the goodness of one. Like, I don't need either. I need for nothing in this life, okay?

No, and it's such a, like, a startling change of lifestyle. So true. Do you know what I mean? Like now, we like will go to bed later because it stays light later. Like we're kind of up with the sun and down with the sun. I remember like in the summer we would go to sleep really late because it's like still light out. Right.

And then when daylight savings happened in the fall, it got dark so early. And that's when we did our like major bedtime move up. And it's just a lot of change, you know? It's a lot of change. Some of us can't really handle it. And I'm just not interested. And I find that every fucking time it's spring forward. I just like happened to me like I don't go anywhere at night, you know?

But like I had dinner plans. I had had a cocktail. Then I lost an hour. It's really hard enough to have a cocktail and then wake up and be a parent, right? And I just find that like, had I known, obviously, that it was a spring forward, I would have chosen a different night for my one night out, you know?

Yeah. Also, Dana was here this weekend and her flight was Sunday morning and she left my house at like 10 a.m. But it meant she left my house at like 9 a.m. We literally lost an hour of friendship. And like, for what? An hour of friendship. No one has sufficiently explained to me

the purpose you told me it was about the kids in Alaska getting on the bus and the morning and that's not true. Initially it's for the farmers. Okay, but like Bill Gates owns all the farms. So what now? No, and like we have lights

and we have technology. Correct. I lost an hour of friendship. Dana said that she literally would have come a different weekend if she knew because she didn't even get to come that long because of her kid's schedule. She got here Friday afternoon.

She had to leave Sunday morning so that like, you know, they wouldn't get home too late or anything. And we like, so she was probably here all in all like 36 hours, 40 hours. Make it 39. It's so crazy. It's so upsetting.

I did so much this weekend. Like, I nourished really a lot of different parts of myself. I finished a book for the first time since, like, I actually don't even know the last book I read in full. It might have been while I was pregnant. I, like, didn't read a lot when I was pregnant. Excellent book. Oh, I brought it for you here.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, I took the book jacket off because I'm just like so, like, this is so organic. You know what I mean? You're not reading a book. You're reading a novel. Yes. No, I'm literally like living in the 1900s. It was such a good book.

If you like to... Don't let anyone see the title. I know. The title is not like... No, I like the title for Swirlitude, but like, you know, for clout. It doesn't give serious novel. It doesn't give clout. But you wouldn't know that I read like a historical fiction novel based on the life of real life showgirl, Evelyn Nesbitt.

Yeah, if you were into the... I just know Taylor read that book. For sure. It sounds like a... Like, what's her name in the showgirl song? Kitty. Her name is Evelyn. Her name is Kitty.

Made her money being pretty and witty. They literally gave her the keys to this city. you have to and they say she didn't do it legitimately. That's so Evelyn. Is that this book? Is that what happened? I do feel like either Taylor wrote about this book or this book was sort of inspired by Toloas. Or they both were inspired by Evelyn Nesbitt. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's so funny because like before pictures and stuff like a woman, like they were like famous women and they were like the most beautiful women in the world, right? And so this in the book, the woman is like

considered the most beautiful and like when people meet her, they faint, right? And then she was like posing for different modeling campaigns. And I like saw some of the sketches of her there. I don't know if there were actually like real pictures of her, but they're all sketches. And it's like no one would look twice at this girl like today. Do you know what I mean? But we're so desensitized.

I know, you know, modern plastic surgery. But I see plenty of beautiful people who don't have plastic surgery. So she wouldn't cut it. I'm just saying I'm going to makeup. Yeah. Yeah. But they wore makeup. Rouge.

A little rouge. So I finished a whole book. I had a cocktail. Oh, and I bought another book. Like I'm so crazy just reading book after book. I went to the beach with my sister. Bookworm alert. We went to the beach on Saturday. I've literally just like sort of nourished mind, body, and soul.

Checked every bucket. Except for the daylight savings of it all. Oh, and then I went out and, like, socialized and I was home at 11. Like, I'm so crazy. I kind of, like, checked every box. I kind of slayed. And we had Shabbat Friday night. Right.

Made brisket. Oh, Jackie made a delicious shabas meal. We checked like the faithfulness box. What am I always saying? Food, faith, family friends. That's literally. And then also I need to, like, come up with a word that starts with the F. That's like intellectual.

Um, findings. Chilling. Food, faith, family, friends. Findings. Title. Yeah. Did you check as many boxes as me? Oh, I checked a lot.

I, like, I checked heavy on the friends box. Like I had a house guest. I had friends over multiple guests because Dana and her husband and her kids came. So that's like friends, family. So we went hard. Faith, I mean, I hosted the Shabbat. So I guess we like check those boxes heavy. Yeah, and you know what, it's okay if you didn't check any boxes this weekend. Not every weekend is going to check every box, but I just so happened to have like an extremely dynamic weekend. Oh, I went to the farmer's market. Oh, another F. Yeah. Yeah. I had to get some farm fresh wares. Last weekend, as we all know, twice, I didn't take my pajamas off. Like sometimes. And it was an amazing. And what's the important for that? Like sort of feverishly rotting. No, it wasn't rotting. I don't really endorse rotting. Well, laying in bed with a baby isn't rotting. Not at all. In real.

So just sort of like feverishly enriching. You just want to say, no, but it wasn't fee. Could you tell I recently read a book, feverishly? Um, uh, fa la la la la la. It was very fa la la la la. And also like we had everyone over to my house last weekend like barbecue. Very fulfilling. Fulfilling is the word.

That one was fulfilling. I read a book. Yeah. It's really helpful. I actually read two books. It's really helpful when. you're reading. Yes, it expands the mind. Yeah, what other book did you read? Little Blue Truck Spring Edition. So I feel like when we talk about the sort of franchises within kids novels, we talk a lot

about Lama Lama, of course, Dr. So it's just like books that like have different versions and then like movies and TV shows. Nobody talks with the Little Blue Truck. And I wasn't familiar, just sort of I came in a stack of books that my mother-in-law gave me and I was very drawn to it. And then I was at Barnes & Noble and I didn't realize it like they did sequels. You didn't know that was I'm much like Cynthia Revo, so I got the Little Butchuk's Sprig edition. I just want to say you can skip it. Like, it fucking sucks. Yeah.

It's, it happens. Yeah, not every book can be a banger. When is the Camber and the counselor sequel that's based on your other sister who's like loves you so much and he worked with? Like I have the story in my heart. Do you? Yeah. Have you told me yet? I feel like I have.

Have you said it here? I don't know. I don't want to spoil it. But like Cameron Counselor sequel is coming. It's just a matter of like bandwidth on my part. Well, let's get to work. Come on. What do you need for?

How can I help like support? I could watch your kids, like, so you can get to work. Yeah. I guess I have just, I mean to write a children's book. You know, a couple hard sessions and then a couple hard sessions with the editor and then like all the leasing of like the illustrator and whatnot. However, my first children's booth was self-published, so that was even more work. I look forward to maybe having a publisher on the second time. Okay.

Publishers, reach out. You would have thought that they would have on the first. We sold a lot of copies of the campaign counselor. I have a lot of stats. The proof of concept. Proof of concept. Reach out. Many, many copies.

Like, how many books does Jimmy Fallon need to write for the kids? He's an adult entertainer. No, they publish books that sell, like, not a lot of copies. I feel like Timothy Shalame. Oh. We're going to talk about it. Okay, okay. But I sold a lot.

I feel like Timothy Shalme, like I sold a lot of copies. Reach out. Yeah. Link in bio. Yeah. I feel like it's crazy that Instagram hasn't figured out the whole link in bio thing. Well, now it's like stories. Yeah, but like the fact that you can just put a link in your caption and it takes you to

Safari. Yeah. It feels so archaic. Link in my profile. Ben recently launched his substack. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Which has been, apparently that's like what you do in the food space. Like if you are like a food creator and you write cookbooks, like you also have a substack for like your free recipes, like anything you post online. Are they always free? I thought that was very generous of him. I follow some creators who I feel like I have to pay. You know, Ina has a substack. Do you know that? Just 600,000 subs, as Ben calls it subs. Wow. It's like Patreon. It's like Patreon, yeah, but I think in the food space, a lot of people make it for free. For podcasters, we go to Patreon. Because you can't always be selling your recipes, like in the form of a cookbook.

You should also be giving them away for free. So Ben has recently launched his substack. I will say, like, we get into bed now. And like I'm reading, Ben's like working on his substack. Like, it's insane how like literary and evolved we are. Like, okay, last night we like ride in bed for four hours and watch Love Story. But some nights. There's more love story. There was one more episode. It was the wedding, which is kind of like the climax. You know, you know her famous wedding dress. Like everyone thinks their Carolyn set when they get married these days

and it's like back button. And I have to say it was probably the worst episode. I felt like when is this piece of shit gonna end? And it kept fading to black and I was like thank God. And then it was like picking back up

in the back of a pickup truck. It was so bad. And I don't know if it's just like me coming to this realization or the amount that we talk about it being factually incorrect. It's like so why am I watching this like fake infactual

like fictional. It feels so random and stupid. And I'm really hating it. Like I don't even know if I'll finish it. That's how bad I feel like it is. Wow. And the wedding was really like not good. And if, and it's a big if, if even anything about the wedding is true.

My God, her and John are so fucking annoying. Like you're being so late to your wedding. You make all these Kennedys drive out in a pickup truck in the middle of like nowhere to sit in an air, in an air conditioning list church. It's not even a church. It's a square box. Like it's a shed. And you're just sitting there because there's not a zipper on your dress.

Like, are you for real? That can't be real. It honestly can't. Expect that it isn't. No. The most interesting part was that because she decided to go for like Narciso Rodriguez, who was like her friend versus Calvin Klein. Oh, and in the episode I just watched,

she's like in the apartment with her friend Narcy or whatever. That's Narciso Rodriguez. I figured and they were like trying to like allude to stuff. And also the way they were engaging with each other like was just really annoying me. I guess it was a really big deal that she, I didn't think at the time that she got married, she had just left her job. but the fact that she didn't wear a Calvin Klein dress,

which is like, she's so Calvin Klein, right? He did introduce them. He also really believed in her and championed her. Like, it was kind of a huge slap in the face. But I guess, like, it's supposed to be admirable that she, like, worked in the lesser known designer. I don't know. Her, like, her friend.

I have no idea. Oh, my God. The scene where John, do you remember the scene where he, like, pulls up to their apartment, her apartment and she's like with Narcy and her bedroom and they're, like, falling on top of each other. Like, it was just really annoying. No, and also, I don't know if this is true either.

but she does opt to make Carolyn Kennedy, Caroline Kennedy, her maid of honor instead of her own sister. Just because the Kennedy's are so upset about their small random wedding, it's not like real Kennedy wedding and Caroline's like being mean because she feels excluded.

So she makes her sister-in-law, her... Like, if that's true, we need to stop standing Carolyn Beset. Like, she's the woe. Talk about not being a girl's girl. Like, that's fucking crazy. Well, it's probably not true. And Carolyn Kennedy was so awful to her,

like really awful. And like, that's her maid of honor. And things go to shit, of course. And who steps in? The real sister. It's probably not true. Who knows with this show? Like, I can't.

It's not good. Can't wait for next week, you know? But actually, it's like starting to, like, lose its luster. Do we have a lip gloss? Do I have a lip gloss? Yeah, I could use a little gloss. Hang on, hang on. Okay, I have options.

I expect that it won't have plump, but. No, it will not have plump. First, I have, like, a summer Friday's bomb. Okay. Always, I would have taken that, like, but now I just want to see what you're option. If you're looking for hydration, I have like a lamare bomb. I'm not looking to use my finger. I love this.

This is more of like a lipstick gloss. And then I have a, this is a fenty beauty. Wait, wait, hold on. I have one more that I think. Oh, wow. What the, um, you've come to the right place. The fenty gloss. Yes.

But I want to try that one. I could use a little more color, I feel. Yes, yes, yes. This is a fenty, like, diamond bomb or whatever it's called. The diamond of the season. Oh, and then if you want this, I also have. I love.

Oh. You actually need to get that. Oh, excuse me, put that on my side. Let me use a little. Let me use a little. Shout out to my makeup artist. Carla, who was in my dream last night. Oh my god, I just remembered.

At my Mahatunum sister's wedding, she put on this lip that was so stunning. Machetanem sister. Oh, it's my, I have my Mahatim sister, Caroline Kennedy. I would never. I just have, um, your Majan card. You guys, 2026 cards coming out soon. Everyone's talking about it.

I just want to say, everyone's like, the 2026 cards coming out. They've been saying that for two months. It's always been April. And how does that make sense? Wouldn't the 2026 card come out in January? I'm not mad because like I got to enjoy enjoy the 2025 card. Yeah. And now I'm ready for 2026. I feel, you know, like, I feel like,

you know how like young kids these days are like addicted to gambling on their phones? I'm like addicted to playing mahjong. And like, we don't play enough. Well, I do play a lot of my phone, but it's just to get by, you know, we don't play enough. Yeah. What's the cadence that you guys are all playing at? Like, I actually feel like we're playing a lot probably twice a week. Too much. Twice a week. Yeah, on average. On a, on a, on a slow week. Like, we don't play this weekend at all. But how often our other people playing? Well, I think that Mahjong in our community is like an older lady game and these are people who are retired. I think they play every day. They go to like their local cardroom. Oh no, but I know like the swirlies. Like everyone's playing mahjong right now. Like young girls. Yeah.

Everyone's playing. So like how often are you guys playing to the swirlies? My friends in New York play like once or twice a week at night. Okay. Yeah. I can't play at night. Like my brain is mush. I'm also uninterested. Like I have substacks to write. And if you want to know why Ben subsack was written so well. Like I have like muffins to make. I made muffins last night like late. I made egg bites. Oh, look it of. Yeah. I'm like so culinary. It's insane.

Did you see what I send you about like bone marrow for babies? Yeah. Like I am in the market for recipes. So like thanks for the real, I guess. I'm going to do that one when my time come. All right. So make me some. I'm not buying bones.

Like buying bones roasting them. Harvesting the marrow. And then whipping it into like a custard like dish. Yeah. I'm going to stick with my like broccoli cheddar pancakes. But bone marrow apparently has like every, the nutrient density. So make it for me. It's off the chart.

Make it for me. make it for you in crubal. Like that's insane. And Cruz. You guys. Gray-Uven. Have I updated everyone that Ruby's new name is Dewey Finn? No. Yeah, named after his father's hero, Dewey Finn from School of Rock. Jackie's, what? Rui. Well, that's how it happened. Rui-Fui-Dui-Dui-Fin. Yeah. For me, that's how it happens. He's gray-uven and moving. Yeah. He's moving and gray-oven. Yeah. And so I call him gray. You know how like people. Like literally Morgan, Morgan Stewart. Like he's so aesthetic with like his cool girl name.

He's not gray. He's gray. Yeah, you have to say it with the role of the gray. No, no, but gray you have to add the you at the end. Yeah. And what are we calling Max? Oh, Max. I also call Max. Oh, God. I hate that. Oh, my. Maxi. I hate that. M-A-X-S-H. Maxi.

No, he's Lou Who to me. Oh, that's funny. Sometimes he's Neester. Okay. Maxinister. I love that. I love that. And you know what? He is his auntie's nephew. Like, I am a Maxenista. Yeah. So he could be Neester. I love that. I really do. Neester.

Maxi. I know. Let's like wrap this show up so we can go back to our kids. We can't talk about our kids. Otherwise, what about namesake? Any famous maxes we need to have on? Oh, I forgot. about our podcast names take where we only interview people who share the same names as our children. Of course there are Maxes we need to interview. Maxwell Sheffield, I would love to chat with. We could also open up to like the fictional.

Yes, if you are an actor named Stephen, but you name someone named Max, you are eligible. You play someone named Max. Yeah. That's great. That's a really good way to get more people on our show. I guess we need to interview like Ariel Charnas' daughter. Ruby. We do. Yeah, Ruby Fu and Ruby Lou. When she's of age. Yeah, of course. We also need to interview the people who. voice Max and Ruby. I mean, that's like when the podcast ends, because we've reached Mecca. Yeah, Max and Ruby. Ruby and Max.

Yeah, da-da-da-de-da-da-do. I guess we could dive in. I actually do want to talk about Timothy. We have so many stories, probably more than five. I'm just going to order them as I see fit and we'll just like let it rip. How about that? How about it? Without further, do-da-do-do-do-do. It is time for the stories that I'm going to let. rip. Actually, if it's okay with you, without further a do-da-d-d-do-do-do. I'd much prefer for the fast five stories to just sort of let the chips fall where they may. One thousand percent. I'm going to let the stories fall fall. Falls. Oops. Sometimes for Long Island just like creeps in. I slip full where they may. Today's episode of the toast is brought to you by Weight Watchers. We've all been guilty of

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Our first story, Timothy Shalame is facing backlash from the ballet and opera communities after a viral, no one cares comment. So Timothy did his CNN Variety Town Hall event with Matthew McConaughey. A while ago. Nobody watched it in full except for the clips where he talked about Kylie because his comment went relatively under the radar until one person pointed it out. And he said that he didn't want theatrical movie going to end up like the ballet or opera where artists want to, quote, keep this thing alive even though, quote, no one cares about it. anymore. So now all of the international ballet and opera being like buy tickets even though nobody cares. They're obsessed with being the victim. The London Royal Ballet and Opera took to Instagram to share footage of its craft people and performers in response to him saying every night at the

Royal Opera House, thousands of people gather for ballet and opera for the music, for the storytelling, for the sheer magic of the live performance. If you'd like to reconsider Timothy, our doors are open. But people are a big mad about this. Okay. I just want to say, Like the reaction is sort of proving his point. Because like if anybody said like, nobody cares about the Hollywood theater. It's like no AMC theater would be like writing it up. Like like crafting an apology. So I know what he's saying.

Obviously he's not saying it in a way where he realizes like he's not being careful with his words. But he's saying that like different art forms, you can't compare ballet to movie making. The most famous ballerine in the world makes a fraction of what like the worst actor in the world makes it. Because it is about mass appeal. Ballet is more neat. Not every person wants to go see ballet, but I have a hard time, you know, turning away somebody who doesn't want to watch a movie. Like, it's just more appealing to the masses. I know what he's saying.

He said it in a harsh kind of way. And like, I'm happy for the ballet. People like having their moment now. But, like, they're just also a little bit proving his point. But they are having a moment. And I think ultimately they should be thanked Timothy because, of course, like ballet and opera are not what they used to be. They used to be the mass form of entertainment until like movies. And now how can you compete with CGI?

Yeah. But I do think for a society, like, we are all. suffering because we don't consume arts like that. It's much like the book that I read about Real Life Showgirl Evelyn Nesbitt. Like people would go to her shows as like the Erosaur. Like it was the biggest like what you are entertained by. It's like greatest showman. Exactly.

And so he was saying, yeah, I understood what he was saying. And not knocking the art itself. Like these people are incredibly talented. And it's honestly a shame that like we've moved away from those. It's true. Forms of art. And I hope that we can move back and maybe like having to have this conversation will encourage more people to support ballet and opera. I just want to say, and all the people who are

like big mad at Timothy, like, I know you don't go see opera. Okay. So just stop. And it's like a lot of the opera or ballet, they're very like philanthropic societies and a lot of them like rely on like charitable donations. Like I wonder, you know, dollars and cents like how much of it is like based on donations and like how much they actually earn. It's probably mostly based on donations because if it was based on just like ticket sales. They're not selling a lot of tickets. Now, I'm curious, this is sort of Timothy's first time and a bit of scandal. Do you think we'll get like a notes app statement? Do you think we'll get a video or like we'll get no no addressing? Based on the Timothy that I think I know, my limited information about him. Like he doesn't care. Yeah. And I think he said what he said.

And maybe if he could go back, he would have said it more gently. But the message, it was just a delivery, not the message. Yeah. There was nothing wrong with what he said. It was how he said it. Well, I think for some people there was something wrong with what he said. But I think for him... Not as many people watch ballet now as they did 20 years ago. I don't think he'll regret like speaking the facts, but I think the way in which he said it, if he could go back, he would change it.

Now, is that something that you need to apologize for? I don't really think so. I would imagine he's having a three-way conference call with Christina right now. Like, that's... She's kind of the expert. Maybe she's just like getting her opinion. Or he has no idea and doesn't care, like how big this has become. Yeah, I think it's also become like a silly little thing.

Yeah, it's not that serious. It's not that serious. I don't think he's going to lose jobs over this or anything. And I don't think that he should apologize because that's just like... Lame. Like apology culture at its worst. No, and save your apology for something you're actually sorry about. Right.

So I don't know, but I also don't maybe know how big it's become. I just see like the memes and jokes. Right. And the Texas with P.K. Okay, Kyle Richards. And the Texas with P.K. Yeah, it's just memes and jokes. And I think it's like a funny thing that's net, net, good for...

Ballet. Fine arts. For the arts, yeah. So I think that's good. And I support, I wish I was more ballet and opera to support, you know. I agree. It's a beautiful art form. You know, I could have been a ballerina.

But I genuinely, like, I don't know, like, I need to watch the larger conversation because, like, what were they talking about? What was, they covered a lot of different topics in that random CNN town hall. You want to know something? I was actually so influenced by that CNN town hall that you know what I did this weekend? You watch Intercellar? Well, I started it. I think I watched 50 minutes before Max woke up. I watched it with Dana on Saturday night.

We, like, wanted to watch a flick. She never saw it either. And Timothy has been raving at how this is the greatest movie ever made. And I'm endeavoring to watch it. Now I have, like, three more days on my rental. Oh, you got to act quick. I have to act with haste. I'll try and watch a little bit every night,

but I really want to watch it. I've heard amazing things. A little bit every night. I don't believe that's how Timothy intended. I know, but like Timothy, I'm a new mama for the third time. Yeah, just watch it. I'm trying. You got to just sit down.

You can't do it. I feel like you're not going to like it as much as Timothy wants you to like it. But I actually think I paused at a good part because they're like in space, spoiler alert. And it's going to take two years to reach their destination. Not a spoiler. I barely started the movie. I just feel like you're spoiling a lot for me. No, I paused right before like the two year gap.

So now I'm like having this big gap. So by the time I turn it back on, it'll be more realistic that it's two years later. Well, why don't you just wait two years for like the full real life experience? That's probably what's going to wind up happening. 1,000 percent. I lose my 399. Oh, well, that's actually happened to me twice. I rented two movies since I've been here.

Oh, my God, I have to tell you, you know what? This turnt TV in the bedroom of the place we're staying has become kind of like the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Samsung TV Plus, which is like not a thing. They have the most turnt content. Do you know that Rachel Ray has a show? And the whole concept is the same thing. You know, she's a queen of 30 minute meals. And that's why she was so successful.

Like mothers everywhere just like whipping up meals. Not afraid to use store bought, whatever. So she, like, reiterated that concept, but it's clear she doesn't own the name 30-minute meals because it's Rachel Ray's Meals and Minutes. And they're all like 25 to 30 minutes. And it's literally like a vlog. She films it in her home kitchen. Her husband sits on a chair by the bars.

Like, it's just, it is the weirdest format. She's the craziest person. I kind of like that because on 30-minute meals, like there's commercials. I feel like things were prepped for her. Like, I like, I like that. It's like, it's not fair to call it a 30-minute meal when the recipe calls for chopped onions, chopped carrots. And it's like, well, she's chopping it right there.

They're not factoring it into the time. No, no. And she does not stop yapping. It's probably a 10 minute meal. She doesn't shut the fuck up. She just knows everything. And it's like, we don't care. Like, Tomatio or tomato, just like, tell me which one to use, you know?

She's so chatty. And her husband, they're like, they're kind of boozy. So, like, he's there to make a cocktail for what she drinks, for what she cooks. And they're just always, like, cocktailing it up. She's so nutty. I feel like she's drinking, like, before, during, and after. Like she's just so nutty and she literally like she burned the whole meal. And so it's like very vlog style.

It's not tailored. And it's just like she's what people want these days. Authentity. Yes. No. And you know how like every cooking show they block out like all the labels of whatever they're using, which is kind of annoying. She doesn't give a fuck.

Like those labels on everything. Her kitchen is a fucking mess. There's like mail in the background. That's realistic. That's what people want to see. It's a Samsung TV plus. Original. Exclusive piece of content.

It's the craziest thing. And they're just like slinging drinks. burning everything. But you know, she's making a nice meal. My Samsung TV Plus go-to show right now that comes on when I turn on my TV for the last couple weeks has been Dawson's Creek. Never seen it.

Me neither. It's before our time. Yeah. Like Carolyn Besed of shows. Literally. Yeah. Like she was watching Dawson's Creek. She definitely wasn't. She was too busy like chain smoking and ruining her sister's life. I'm cracking. I don't mean she was that sister. That scene really upset me. Timothy's in about hot water. We'll see how

He kind of needed a little edge. Don't you feel like this makes him a little sexier? Like he was just too beloved. Yeah, but like this is so, such a non-scandal. Like you've offended like the highbrow arts. Yeah. Yeah, no, but it's a good scandal. Like he needed something.

And then of course people are like making it like, how are you going to put down live performance when it's the only job AI can't take? People will make anything about AI. Yeah. And you just tell that to my AI generated cheddar broccoli egg bite recipe. Okay. When you say AI is not helping. anyone. Are you ready for our next story?

Which is some other major news that has become major over the one that I'm obsessed with. Me too. So going viral. Kelsey's going viral because TMZ put out an article. They just report it out in their like sort of standard TMZ aesthetic, which is always they break the news. Someone died. Somebody gave birth.

Somebody's getting divorced. Like there, you know, they have an office down at the courthouse, as Kelsey says. So like, I was like, oh my God. When I first saw just like the sheer headline, I'm like, Donna Kelsey died. Like they're so drama with their red and black alerts. But no, Donna Kelsey is renovating her Florida home. So the news is that Tracin and Travis's mom. Tracein and Travis.

Tracein and Travis. Donna is glowing up her Florida pad. She's in the middle of a home renovation TMZ has learned, according to official records filed last month. So this is where they're getting in. Taylor's future mother-in-law appears to be redoing her two-bed, two-bath, 1,430 foot square foot

pad in Florida. Where? Orlando. I wonder why she has a place in Orlando. Maybe she likes Diz. I could see her actually being a Dizadol. 1,000. And I feel like whenever

I feel like Jason's like taking his daughters there a bunch, especially when they win the Super Bowl. Donna always comes. So maybe like Donna's like. Maybe that's where they stay. Yeah. The documents show Donna hired a company to replace nine. This is insane.

Six stores at the home. One celebrity? are talking about like how they have no privacy. Like they do compared to Donna Kelsey. Like why? Why was this written up? And then people's reactions to it is what made it an even bigger story. Like it might have just gone by the waisthead. But this is some crap you read about in like life and style. This is like mindless news. And then people reacted to it like as they should just being like, well, how can I sleep at night knowing this? Right. And it's hysterical. Now it's like world news that Donna Kelsey is renovating her her condo. I hope she sort of catches in on this

big moment and maybe like gets a Raymore in Flattingen commercial or does like an HGTV mini series. One thousand percent. Now I need to see the condo. Like show me the nine windows. And you know what? That's my humble queen living in a two bedroom condo. Six doors?

And that's not renovating just so you know replacing windows indoors. I feel like in Florida with her hurricanes like you sort of have to every X amount of years. So it sounds like she's just doing some routine maintenance on her condo and yet here we are discussing it as if it's world news. It is. It really, really is. I hope she shows before and after. I would love that. Does Donna Kelsey even have an Instagram? I feel like she does. I feel like it's run by like a team.

I would love a transition reel. I would love a transition reel. Set to maybe a little to low us. Just an idea. Just give it to us. And you know she likes to give the people what they want. She's like such a pop culture girl. And one thing about Donna, she's, and I think it's why people like her so much, she's very regular, you know. And like that's what regular folks do. They make transition rails. So those were the big stories of the weekend. Donna Kelsey renovating her condo or house. I think condo.

Yeah, I don't know why I think, but I think. And Timothy getting himself into trouble. Are you ready for our next bit of news, which is some crime in Los Angeles? First, Rachel Zoh's home was hit by burglars this weekend. So Rachel Zoe was in Las Vegas for the opening of Zero Bond, Las Vegas. and her home was burglarized early Sunday morning while she was out of town. You know, Rachel Zoe was in Vegas for the Zero Bunch.

Did you know what crew she was with? No. She was with the Nader's and Pippa from Tell Me Lies. Like that was the crew. Oh, I saw the Naters with Pippa. Yeah, and Rachel Zoe was a part of that crew too. And I knew that Rachel Zoe and Bergst Nader were friends because I feel like they recently hung out.

But I didn't like know that was happening. And I'm just kind of obsessed with that crew. Like how does the three of them get together? And they're saying Alex Arlen Tom Brady were there too. I saw that. I saw that. At Seth's Halloween party. Yeah.

I saw that too. I'm glad she's having fun. I feel like the fling has run its course. I'm personally like ignoring it now. I'm not ignoring it. Until they like step out together. Like of course they go to the same parties. They're on the same circuit every time they're seeing together.

I don't believe it. She's still crying over Braxton. I know. I know. like obsessed with her. You think so? Yeah. You know what?

I don't, I mean, I don't think so. I do. I think he's like losing sleep, like thinking about this young hot thing. I think like Olivia said, like he's like mentoring her. Oh my God. You and Olivia like delusional queens. Yeah, he's mentoring her. No, she actually, like the weekend and Angelina Jolie were meeting for business.

She didn't say that he's mentoring her. Actually, she said that she thought that they could relate to each other being the top. The best at what they do. Also an amazing point. Olivia has never said anything in factual. Like that's my queen right there. Wait, so here's the story. Oh, sorry.

Rachel Zoh's home was burglarized. TMZ has told her alarm company received an activation alert and the alarm company quickly notified police. Patrol units in the neighborhood responded and spotted two male suspects leaving the property. TMZ is told one of those suspects is in custody. Good. That never happens. That never happened. So you feel like her home wouldn't have been robbed if she wasn't a real housewife of Beverly Hills.

It's literally a right of passage. We've got Teddy. We've got Kyle. We've now got Rachel Zoe. I feel like we have. Kathy. button that both of their houses were burglarized over um bravocom this year um it's insane it's really insane and i feel like if you're i don't know why they go for like oh derit sorry i forgot

to mention her i don't know why like they go for reality stars more than they go for like traditional celebrities but maybe it's because reality stars are always telling people where they are on instagram yeah and unfortunately i just feel like we're going to start seeing like reality stars who are like of you know means not being you know posting in real time anymore if i was i would never like never. Yeah. It's it's so crazy. I'm glad that they caught someone. I know that also never happens. They never caught the guys who did Doritz, right? They never catch

anyone who does anything. It's so true. Also, do they get anything? I mean, talk about like, unclear what they got, if they got. Talk about stumbling upon, like, treasure. Yeah. Also, more crime in Beverly Hills News. Rihanna's mansion was hit by gunfire on Sunday, early Sunday morning while she was home. While she was home. Yeah, a 30-year-old woman

was arrested Sunday, early Sunday morning. after, so like 120. A.m. No, actually. Hold on. After firing several shots with a rifle at Rihanna's mansion, while the singer was allegedly inside her house. LAPD. responded to the report of the shooting at 120 p.m. Sunday and quickly took the suspect into custody. One bullet reportedly pierced a wall of the home. Photos from the scene showed yellow police tape outside the singer's home. L.A. authorities

were also seen closing off the street near her property. Oh my God. We're never getting that album now. I just want to let you know. She's not giving the fans anything. Like, this is the price of fame, literally her home where her children live being shot out with guns. Oh my God. That's insane. I didn't even hear about this. I think those LAPD working overtime this weekend. I mean, I think every weekend. I think every weekend too. That's crazy. It was published last night. So that's why you probably didn't hear about it. That's like, I feel like there are a couple of things that like if you're a celebrity, you sort of expect to happen to you like stalkers, robberies, gunshot, like that's insane.

I'm like, she must be freaking. Yeah. She's also such a private celebrity, but she has like a lot of different homes. So like, it's even freakier to know that like this person knew you were home. Yeah.

Because she's not somebody who like posting on Instagram. Not only that. She's not somebody who gets paparazzi like all the time. Like we know when she's in New York because it's like a big deal. But like nobody knows where she is like most of the time. Yeah.

Like with Taylor, I feel like people always know where she is. That must be so scary. Yeah. Really, really crazy. The outlet also reported that the police dispatch for the incident noted approximately 10 shots being fired at the house, which came from a vehicle across the street from the house. Like who would try to kill Rihanna? Like seriously.

The suspect and sped off in a white Tesla. You said it was a woman? Yeah. I'm glad they caught someone. Yeah, again. Yeah. Oh my God. That is so scary. So scary. People are deeply, like, deeply on well. Today's episode of the toast is brought to you by Quince. These days, we are all about quality over quantity, especially in our closets. If it's not well made, if it's not versatile, it's really just not worth it. And that's why I love quince. The fabrics feel elevated, the cuts are thoughtful and the pricing actually makes sense. I'm obsessed with seeing this trend on TikTok where, like, young people are being more thoughtful about what they purchase and everything they bring into their closet is like a capsule wardrobe item. It's more high quality. It's built to

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Serialously available wherever you get your podcast and you can also watch a full episodes on YouTube. Today's episode is also brought to you by Armoura Klosram. Thank you, Armour Collostrom for sponsoring today's episode and being a trusted brand sponsor of the toast. Now, if you're looking to add something into your daily routine, that's like a low-lift wellness hack, Armour is great. Because I'm like, wellness is nice, but a lot of these people will be doing a lot. And it's like, I have a full-time job and like a child. Like I can't be doing all this.

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It's a big weekend in Vegas at the aforementioned Zero bond launch at the win. And I just want to say like, I know this is crushing to Luanne Deliseps because it's sort of like the final nail in the coffin of what could have been Luann Cochner. I don't think Luan states down long. Like she put it out there, Kevin Costner.

It didn't happen onto the next. Whenever I see him. I think about how like the perfect woman is out there for him. Like I think about that a lot. I can't think of anything other than Luanda Costner when I see Kevin Costner. Now having said that, I'm obsessed with this. And I know everyone's like, you know, but she's 20, like, I don't give a fuck. One thing about Brooks Snedder is like, she's in charge.

And I just know he was dazzled by her. Brooks Nader knows her own mind. So true. So whatever she chooses to do. She's an eldest daughter. Like, you know, you can't tell her what to do. Yeah. She's over 25.

She's divorced. Frontal lobe developed. She knows her mind. I'm obsessed with this. Now, I don't think this is like the great love of her life. I doubt she really entertained it because like when you can get any man in the world, like Kevin Costner actually doesn't do it. I heard he's kind of an arse.

Yeah, I heard he's a dick. I feel like not even like we've heard it. Like everyone, he fights with everyone. It's like confirmed. It's like confirmed. Yeah. Having said that, I could see him like being so like obsessed with her. She like likes like an RC guy.

It's true, Gleb. Yeah. She like famously said I want to dance at the biggest douchebag. on dancing with the stars. Having said that, I'm not, like, I'm obsessed with this moment, but I hope it ends here. I don't think that this is like the next big thing for. That's not really a word I use. What? The word I just said. D-bag? Yeah. I was quoting the great Brooks Nader. Of course. What is the actual item? Like a douchebag is like, please, please, no. It's a perennial device, right? Yeah. But I never call anyone that word. Me neither. It's, I mean, we're not in a

sorority. I feel like if you're like talking about like frat boys, you use that word. It's like a young person's word. Yeah. Not even. No, I feel like it's just, you know, you either use it or you don't. Okay, when you, like, what's the equivalent? Like, what do we say? Like, he's such an ass.

I think I just said ours. I say, like, he's such a dick. I guess. I don't really say that either. You don't really say much, like, in terms of, like, in terms of, like, profanity. In terms of, like, he's not a good guy. Okay. He's a bad guy.

I like that. He's a bad. guy. So just want to say, loving this moment, hoping it ends here. Yeah, and they were just like spotted sitting next to each other talking. But when two single people are doing that, like, of course, you wonder what's brewing. I just love Brooks. Like I am obsessed with like the fame of Brooks Nader, you know?

Like she's just doing it right. She's having fun. I think she's making a lot of money. Yeah. So we'll see what happens betwixt the two. Two lovers. Our next story, Alex Earle was also in Vegas, but this isn't about her John to Vegas. She's teasing some tough conversations with her stepmom in her new reality show.

So Alex Earle did a vlog talking about everything, you know, in her life, but also what fans can expect from her reality show that's coming. She touched on what it's been like to lose control of the editing process with the show, admitting she's feeling nervous about how she and her relationships will be portrayed. She said the parts where I'm like saying nice things or like retracting what I'm saying, I'm like, that's definitely probably not getting in the edit. Right. So I think it's just scary how things can be edited and portrayed.

That's at least what I've heard from a lot of people. She specifically called out the way that the reality shows filming was impacting her family's relationships with each other. This is really interesting. She said, quote, when there's an issue, you have to go up and talk to them and figure out the issue on the show. Sometimes we'll just sweep things under the rug and we're like, let's not disturb the piece of the family. That's not a good TV show. It's kind of like now we're in family therapy. You've really got to talk through all of the issues and like have conversations face to face with people.

she mentioned that her and her stepmother Ashley Dupree had been having a lot of conversations as a result of the filming as well Yeah I mean I think that I don't think of course when you think about her stepmother You think about like how she came to be her stepmother And the drama beyond it But it doesn't sound like that's actually with the conversations that they're having

I think that like Remember when we were reporting on Dancing with the Stars Like Ashley is just kind of like nutty And like when she was posting that stuff Like kind of making Alex look bad like coming for Carrie Ann Like just like putting sort of Alex's job in Jeopardy and putting Alex in like a weird situation. I think it's more situations like that

where they're all becoming famous now. And Ashley is like a content creator. She has a lot of followers. She does like a lot of mom content. She does like a lot of conspiracy theories. She's like into UFOs or whatever. Yeah, but like she has a lot of followers. And so like with that it's like you have to be careful with what you say because like,

yeah, you're a content creator, but you're Alex Earl's stepmom first. And I bet that like gets weird for Alex. You think that's going to be the bane of their issues on the show? Yeah, unless they're sitting down talking about the affair. But that was so long ago. It seems like they all actually genuinely moved on. I'm the only one still talking about it. So, no, I don't think they're having those types of conversations.

She said me and my stepmom have been having a lot of conversations about our relationship. And it's been good. It's been scary. There's also, like, been drama with that. I can't imagine how it all comes together. No, I imagine, like, if I'm Alex and, like, her stepmom is riding her coattails, like, probably as much as, like, Ashton is. Like, Ashton is kind of more popular.

But. And she's also, like, posting crazy things about just, like, the world. And also Alex's life. And it's like, like she recently, like, you know what I bet is a storyline? She was doing like an outfit with her husband or whatever. And she was saying that like, I forget what it is. But Alex's dad was wearing this blazer. And she was like, I saw Tom Brady wearing it and I bought it for him.

Like things like that. Yeah, yeah. Like that, like Alex was probably mad at that. And she's right. Yeah. It's like, you're. Well, if they're filming like right this minute, I wonder if they'll address the Tom Brady stuff. also to say like that they're not together yeah also um when she talks about like losing

the edit whatever I know that her she announced the show on Netflix it's in product in partnership with like a production company Dave gruntman her friend like I don't feel like she's completely cut out of the editing process she's not like totally like hands off yes but like at a certain point yeah they're gonna have to make a show yeah and things might wind up in there that she would otherwise not have preferred but like it's going to be good television. I'm sat for the show. I am as well and I think she's doing a good job of like making content about the show

while filming a show and teasing the show. Because remember we said like she could run a little like, you know, spread herself a little thin like having to do all this content and a reality show. But I feel like this is a great example of like a good way to do it. Yeah. But it does feel like a lot. And I haven't seen a lot of her TikToks recently.

Like with I feel like she's just doing a lot. Now I forgot. Thank you for bringing up TikTok. Do you know that there's like a new, there's a new face. on TikTok? Yeah, like if you, like, want to be young and cool, like there's, you know how like when we grew up,

it was like the smy's like the, okay, there's like a new pose. Okay. It's called the pout. And it's not like the pout that we know, ready? It's actually like, I have a hard time doing. It's not like Mary Kane and Ashley. It's like it's an iteration of that,

but it's like Gen Z, Mary Kane Nash. Okay, ready? Do you want to show me a video of it? I'm sorry, what? Show me a video. I don't have a video. It's just like. Who does it?

Everyone. Where should I see it? Ashton Earl? Like all the cool girls like. like Ashton Earl does it? Mm-hmm. Let me go look at her. I feel like I'm doing it.

Does Sally do it? I don't know. Happy belated birthday, Sally. Like this. Ashton Earl. Okay. I mean, it's like not what you. You have to try it.

This. That Ashton is doing. Like, no. She's just like dead. Yeah, she's not doing anything there. This. Well, she's not doing anything. Give me the phone.

Hold on. Let me. I'll find one. And then you can recreate it. This? I'm talking about my kiss. Diss? She's, no, no, no.

Like. Okay. Like this? No, but like more relaxed. Okay, here, here. You see? It's like a mug. And it's really like upper lip heavy.

And also you got to clench your cheeks a little bit because you. Kind of, kind of. It's like you're like doing a little too much. It's like supposed to be a little bit more effortless. I'm just learning. Yeah, no, no, no. I'm just giving tips. What?

It's just, it's very top lip heavy. And like it's kind of like you smelled something, you know? Okay. I feel like I'm doing it. No. No? No. I have to see.

I have to see what it looks like in order to tell you if you're doing it. And Ashton doing it with sunglasses on. Does Haley Bieber do it? I don't know. It's a little bit more TikTok, you know? It's like younger than that. Yeah. Well, can't go too young.

No, of course, of course. That wouldn't be very fulfilling of us. No, it wouldn't. Our fifth or sixth and final story. Whatever it may be. Dave Portnoy is writing a memoir and the title is here and it's great. It's pretty fantastic. So Dave Portnoy posted on his Instagram actually in response to Sophia Franklin,

but he also shared that he is writing a book and it's called Cancel Me, If You Can. It's available for pre-order. It's coming out in June. And I think like he's going to tell his side. I'm assuming it's his story, like his memoirs. I feel like he probably like touched on daddy. Wherein he would touch on that. A little bit.

And Sophia's obviously. touching on it in hers and talking about Dave. And he's kind of using like the momentum of Sophia's book to promote his own, which is interesting. It is. And also his book's coming out first. Yeah, in terms of a title. It was like time to tell everyone. I know.

In terms of a title, 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10. 10 out. I think it's probably like more zoomed out like, you know, how he started Barstow. Like we think of him now like as modern, but there's so much lore. Like, I don't know. I feel like the fact that he's sort of using the. Sophia Franklin like I don't know I don't know um I did I saw that she he like posted her

clip where she was asking me about him but I couldn't watch with sound and there were no subtitle so what she had she was doing like a listener Q&A people writing in questions about her book being like you're going to talk about Dave porno and she's like yeah okay and he's going to talk about her and I don't even know if he's really going to talk about her like it's not really his story to tell you know what I mean I feel like you'd talk more about Alex yeah they could probably mention the caller daddy thing but like I don't know I don't need to hear his side. And I also feel like one, we've heard his side. Yeah. Remember, like, he took over their podcast when they stopped releasing episodes.

And that's, like, also what blew it up. So, again, I feel like Sophia's the side that we haven't heard entirely yet because she says there's, like, way more. But I look forward to reading both sides. I'll read both of these books. Actually, when I went to Barnes & Noble this weekend, I did look in a Celebrity Memoir section. I was looking for Lisa Rinnas. Maybe it's not out yet because I didn't see it. There's no way. I know. It's not weird. No, I'm sorry. It's out. Like, you don't do this much press for something that hasn't come out yet. Let's see. What's hers? These lips were made for talking?

It was not in the memoir section. I'm just letting you know. It's out. You better believe I'm going to talk about it, which is a great title. These lips were made for- It's out, yeah. I couldn't find it. Actually, that's kind of a good title, too.

These lips were made for talking. She has so many one-liners. Yeah, you better believe I'm going to talk about it. That's kind of like chewy one. Yeah, it's a little long. I would rate it. I wouldn't. I would rate it pretty well.

Like, for some reason, like, celebrities, like, lose their mind when they name their memoirs. and they go so rogue and stupid. At least she's like referencing like one of her iconic lines. Maybe it's not the line I would have referred to, but like it's better than hope luck catches Ina. What was that book called? Also, Doreet, which is unburdened by what has been.

Terrible. That's Kamala's book. Yeah. What is Aina's title? Like be ready when the luck happens. Like that's what I mean. Celebrities lose their fucking mind. I know.

That's why I love it so much. No, but it's hard to see yourself. Like even if like if I had to sit down, down and like choose a name for my memoirs right now. I would have a hard time, but the audience could tell me in two seconds about my memoirs would be named. Let me think. Hold on. Memoirs of a Jacks. Well, now it is, but I mean outside of like our running joke. If I ever wrote a book of memoirs, which like wouldn't happen, but like I would say.

Memoirs of Streisand. No, it would be Memoirs of a Jax because of the lore. Yeah. Not just because I think that's a great memoir name, but because. It's actually not a good memoir name. Memors of a Jax? No, because memoirs of a geisha, like you need two syllables. Like, Jackie. Memoirs of a charity.

But you didn't. No. And when I was titling my book, at the last minute, somebody was like, but just like, girl with no job. I'm like, oh, yeah. No, and like from a publisher's perspective, like, it has recognition. Yeah, no, I have no regrets about the title of my book. Like, I couldn't get creative with the title, but then the subtext I could have. The beautiful life of a crazy Instagram thirst monster. The crazy beautiful life. Whatever. Not of an Instagram Thursday. Not a crazy Instagram Thursday. And I should have just taken out Instagram because I thirst on all platforms. Yeah, yeah. It's a sign of the times. It's a time capsule.

Yeah, I love that, as it should be. So what should Jackie's title be? Like toast, swirl. I feel like there's so many things. You see that Rihanna's lingerie company Savage has an item called the swirly-girlie bra or whatever? Yeah. Our influence. For sure.

I just feel like because it's so out there, like girly swirly, swirly. Swirley. Not girly. Like, sure, if it had been the girly twirly, I would have said. Girlie Swirley.

Yeah, but they just flipped it, swirly, girly. But even if they had the swirly bra, like, we would say, oh, the bra has swirls or whatever. It's curly and girly together.

Correct. That's the magic of swirly and girly. I thought that was interesting. Yeah. I mean, we're just sort of ubiquitous. It is what it is. Shaping culture.

Yeah. Happy to do it. Love to do it. What's a story? Oh, memoir. Memoirs of a Dave Portnoy. Cancel me if you can is a great, great title. It's really fantastic.

Memoirs of the Barstool. That would have been good. No, it wouldn't. I like that. It would be good for just the two of us. Yeah. Yeah, but I guess then we could like go and tell everyone about it. But no, cancel me if you can't.

Like, seriously. No, no. Give them a race. I enjoyed those eight stories. I did as well. Lots to catch up on on this Mundaris. I'm still sort of like recovering from the news that Donna Kelsey is renovating her home. So sorry if I felt like a little low energy for the second.

and have of the show. It was a lot to take in. I do beg and plead that someone make the most at this moment. Like cameras up. I need a contracting like Tyler Cameron. Get in there. That's what I was thinking. Get in there. Somebody. Tyler Kevin's very busy renovating the Bachelor Mansion with host Tasha Adams. And Hannah Brown. Really? Yeah. I think it's the three of them. And I've, first of all, Hannah Brown is a new toaster. Yeah, I saw that. Welcome. Second of all, she's been posting. She moved into a new home. and she's been posting like a tour while also sharing what she's going to do to every room of home. And it's it's captivating stuff.

Well, maybe she is on that show then. Oh, yeah. She's renovating her home. But she also has like an exhibit. Her home right now is really pretty. And she's like showing us what she's doing. I thoroughly enjoyed the content. I look forward to seeing some transition rails.

That's wonderful. So welcome Hannah Brown. Yeah. I don't find myself like talking a lot about Hannah Brown on this show. But that's good. Yeah, of course. But like when somebody whose name comes up a lot on the show and then I find out that they listen every day. Like that just happened with somebody actually extremely famous. I won't blow up their

spot. But we talk about her like maybe once every two weeks. And then I found out that she watches every day. And like I kind of need her to stop. It's just a hard line to walk. It is. Reminds me of course of Bobby and Osloffa from Chazzo Sonsa. Reminds me of course of Philip Phillips. Pugaso. We're going to find out like we've actually we have been offered an interview with Pugasso. The mass singer team reached out. We're like, okay, but like before we agreed to an interview, like we need to know who it is. They're like, we can't tell you. I'm like, well, what if it's like a baseball player. Not even that.

Like, what if it's somebody who hates us? What if it's somebody more likely who we hate? Like, I don't know. I can't. And I respect that how serious they take the show, but like, I can't commit. And the fact that they wouldn't even tell us, like, just, first of all, like, we're not going to tell anyone. You're part of the show.

Like, we're not just telling anyone. Just tell us who it is. I know. Just fucking tell us who it. They're being kind of narkey. Like, we're literally losing our minds. And you can't even just tell us. Like, come on.

Like, we're kind of a big show. We can't commit to just anyone. If it's like a not-fame. person. And aside from the interview, just like put these girls out of their misery. Like seriously, they shoot horses, don't they? Tell us who it is. I didn't even read that book. I just like know the title. And I remember being like really shook by it. It's a great title. That is our show. Happy Monday. Hope we've sprung you forward in a meaningful and fulfilling way. Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast The Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast-sized stories. You need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube.

please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast and our podcasts we found. So at Spotify, it's and social, public radio, I read it, a podcast, I hope, so please believe this on podcast, my podcast, my own social video, to be a weekly, talented, we are. Have an amazing day and we'll see you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.