The Toast - The Mama Revolution with Lauren Elizabeth: Thursday, April 18th, 2024

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

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Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to The Toast. Happy Thursday. Happy Lauren Elizabeth Day. It's Jackie O. Excelli. Mama's on the pod. Hi, girlish, swirly twirly. How are you? I am good. I am so honored to be here. I, you know, I'm here representing and I am here as a Midwestern toaster. Okay. Specifically representing the Chicago Swirlies, but all adjacent states. I'm here as a Christian toaster that loves the Jewish toasters. I am here as a non-neurotypical toaster.

Like I'm really covering all of the bases for you guys. You also did an incredible job geographically this week, by the way. Have you noticed? I'm cross country. I've got LA, Nashville, Wisconsin, Chicago, okay, and another LA. But seriously, we are hitting the, we're nationwide podcast this week. Yeah, I mean, nationwide is on your side. Jackie Oshry has your back.

Oh, and I'm in Florida. Right, right, right. It's giving all 50 states. It's giving cross country. But you did ask me how I'm in Florida. Right, right, right. It's giving all 50 states. It's giving cross country. But you did ask me how I'm doing. And truthfully, like, now that I'm a mama, we're not well this morning. As you can tell, Jackie's, like, really close to borderline murdering me because I'm a hot mess express. But we made it and we're here.

I'm so not close to murdering you. Even though I remote podcast every day, I know the setup. Like it's new for other people. Take your time. The only people that you would have to answer to are the toasters who are like, this is late. Right. And I also did you see I know you're like not on TikTok, but did you see my talk last

night? I did see your talk and I loved it so much because that's my I don't know if that's a TikTok sound yet but it needs to be when Shannon when Shannon was here all we were saying I don't like yeah well so I commented saying I need this to be like an audio and so then Claudia made it an audio and text me and saying you inspired and so like me being me I'm like the toasters like don't understand what I do behind the scenes like I put my head down and I work she works like I I literally in the boots on the ground like I represent like when you're screaming at your phone like listening to the podcast in the car being like I wish I could tell Claudia

and Jackie that it's like I'm texting them that information you know what I mean it's so true you're constantly working behind the scenes but speaking of your work former podcaster Lauren Elizabeth how does it feel to be back on the mic I mean with my former boss like your former boss and the thing is like she's not disgruntled it's all good like we're wishing her well on her next endeavor I mean my favorite thing though too was that I was like nervous and I like texted Claudia because like here's the thing like I text Claudia for most things because like at the end of the day like she has a dog you have two children like we're texting Claude yeah no it's a safe bet that you're glad exactly like I'm like I'm not bothering you unless I actually need you for mama tings yeah and that's never a bother I hope you know that I love of course like talking about mama tings and well

I'll tell everyone all the advice you gave me in a second but basically like I was so nervous and she was just like okay sounds good and I was like that was the easiest like job like imagine your boss just being like oh you want to quit like it sounds fucking awesome I was like yeah so um it was easy but honestly even my boyfriend last night was like do you remember when you used to stress about your podcast every single week and I was like shut the fuck up like it was just such a stressor for me honestly I couldn't do it you know what I believe you as my friend Mary Orton said on the podcast yesterday, like people don't realize what goes into podcasting, even a weekly podcast. Like it's so much more work than you expect. And so especially in this new era of your life, like we've got to be.

We've we've got to be trimming, you know, you can't do it all it all yes you have to trim the fat and you have to delegate which is something I don't do so I try to do everything myself what's so crazy is that your podcast was really popular too like I think a lot of people you know quit a flop podcast and it's like not a hard decision like well so like the thing though is we don't have advertisers no one's listening maybe we should call it a day. But that was not the case with you. Honestly. It wasn't the case.

A mad respect from walking away from it because it was very popular, but it wasn't like it just couldn't. It was too much. Like, is my daughter going to be able to go to college now? Like, I don't know because I stopped doing podcast ads. However. Does she even want to go to college now? I don't know.

I don't know that. Like, will college even be a thing in 18 years? now? I don't know. We don't know that. Like, will college even be a thing in 18 years? Like, I don't know. I don't care. Or will they have burned them all to the ground? Yes, exactly. And, like, I made a TikTok. I mean, if you guys want to follow me on TikTok, like, Jesus Christ, like, stop pushing it, Lauren.

But I made a TikTok, like, saying how I quit. And the TikTok went fucking viral. I was like, of course. Like, everyone was so excited that I quit my podcast. I was like, okay, rude. Like what the fuck? Totally. But I do feel like you spoke to that culture of what is it?

Like leaving your job. There's a word for it. Leaving your job culture. Yeah. Like walking away from things that don't serve you no no no like there's literally a quit your job movement there is yeah i know like like court like leaving the corporate world movement i don't know what the movie i'm gonna stop trying someone's like screaming in the car like i usually would be yeah there's a word for it and I can't

it's escaping me but I feel like you were speaking to those people like this does not but the thing what they don't know is like you have a million other jobs like you just like tabled one piece of it exactly and it's like at the end of the day I'm one person and as much as I love to make everything about myself and just like talk non-stop like I there's only so much that I can talk about on different platforms. Like I want to say stupid shit to the masses, but I don't need to do it in every single way possible, you know? Yeah. I think it was called the great resignation. Oh, see, I would have that. I would never come to that. So you've resigned from your podcast. I 100% resigned. And by the way, you guys made it sound so sketchy from your podcast. I 100% resigned.

And by the way, you guys made it sound so sketchy on the podcast. Oh, I love that for us. Yes, I fucking texted Claudia after. What did we say? Like, you guys said something about, like, TNN, and then you're, like, listing the podcast. And then you guys are like, move with Lauren Elizabeth. And then you're like, oh, wait, she quit. And everyone was like, oh, my God, like, what happened? And I was like, they made it sound like there's drama and it was literally me texting Claudia like I don't want to podcast

anymore oh my gosh sorry for any drama that caused for you but I really do love that for us and I love you know getting people talking and all worked up especially when like we know behind the scenes like there's absolutely nothing here like why not make a meal of it make it a moment get people all like and then everyone's like oh what's the drama what's the beef like at the end of the day this is a business and like we do thrive on clickbait at the end of the day this is a business and I personally am honored to be a small part of it which also leads me to my next question I made a little note on my phone of things that I wanted to ask you because I have mom brain now, which I'm sure you can relate to. But like I was already a dumbass before I was a mom.

So now I'm like actually like so, so fucking stupid. It's actually crazy. But I was like if I forget to say all these things to Jackie, I'm going to hate myself. So the first thing I would like to bring up and address for the meal of it all is did you see my um declined invite message on paperless post for your toastiversary party I think I did because you said okay so like I thought it was the most well-written thing and absolutely gorgeous and I got no follow-up texts from either of you would you like to comment okay wait what did it say then oh my god like I just I didn't like in-depth read every response.

I was like looking at who was going and some people who said yes or no, they had like a nice note and I just kept it moving. Well, here's the thing. And I appreciate you keeping it moving because you have things to do, places to be. But like, it was, I don't know, dare I say five whole sentences? What, what did you say? Well, first of all, I told you I'm a dumbass. Like, it said something. Like, this is how my brain works now.

Like, I can't. I was going to try to screenshot it, but I thought it was too late. It said something about, like, being a small part of the toast community. Like, I quoted the great Madison Beer, like, as, like, I should have been in that video. Like, I should have been at the toast community like I quoted the great Madison Beer like as like I should have been in that video like I should have been at the toast party like I wanted to be a part of her story like it was so toast coated and was so gorgeous not a single word from the Autry sisters and then two days later when I finally have Claudia on FaceTime I was calling her to tell her some really important information that will lead me to my next question and she hung up on me because my story wasn't good enough for her and she was running late.

So she hung up. She said, this is not as entertaining as I thought. And she hung up. So like there's some beef going on between us all. That's ice cold. OK, I'm sorry that you put effort into the note and that it wasn't received in the way that I'm sorry for that. wasn't received in the way that I'm sorry for that. I mean, like, listen, there's one thing in life I love is making everything about me and complaining. So this is a real roundabout way. And I feel like if I saw it, I probably read it and like smiled to myself, but I didn't know I required

a response. But I will say I kind of know the feeling that you're talking about. I feel like whenever I write like a thank you card or something like I'll spend a lot of time um just like writing a note to someone that doesn't require a response back but I just feel like the way that I did it kind of did and it's like you know we we have to learn lessons the hard way sometimes it's like you didn't want to make a you didn't want to comment on my handwriting you know right like it builds character personal touches no nothing no personal touches at the end of the day like I do it for you I don't do it to get something in return you know and we have to remind ourselves that I 100% did it to like I'm like hello pay attention to me

like yeah no but like honestly trying to get our attention via paperless posts, like it's just not the right avenue. That's where we are in our friendship of like me being so desperate. I'm like writing novels on paperless posts. It's like, we're just looking at the final count. Yeah. They're like, we don't give a flying fuck. Okay. My last question for you as a mama, sorry, my wrist hurts. If you're watching watching on youtube I don't know what I'm doing um how's your pelvic floor uh fine no no like nothing no notes no what does it even mean see this is what I I feel as though did you ever see like this would have made the fast five if it happened when I was on the podcast did you see that Brittany Mahomes fractured her spine because she didn't take care of her pelvic floor?

No. Yeah, like the pelvic floor is, no women are educated enough. I sound like a feminist or whatever, but that's not it. No, I love women's health information. Please share. I've been ignoring my pelvic floor.

I didn't know that she was hurting. Well, that's the thing. It's like she needs some love and attention. And since I had such a bad tear after birth, I was recommended to go to pelvic floor physical therapy, whereas like none of my friends were. And so I've learned like all this information about my pelvic floor. And like I know all about like my deep core and like how it affects my back and my hips. And it's absolutely crazy.

But also like it affects like the annoying stuff of the reason I FaceTimed Claudia was to tell her that I was – and, you know, this is probably more of a story for you. I was telling her I went to go get my gorgeous, gorgeous daughter at 4 o'clock in the morning. And I thought, oh, like, what if I just, like, tooted really quick so that it, like, doesn't, like, go back to my bedroom. And then I, like, shit my pants. And that is really tough when you're a mama holding your own baby. And like you don't know what to do. So that is why we take care of our pelvic floor. And that all stemmed from your pelvic floor?

100%. So how do I know if my pelvic floor is in need? Or is it automatically in need because I've given birth? Well, so it's technically automatically in need because you've given birth. I think everyone should take care of their pelvic floor is in need or is it automatically in need because I've given birth well so it's technically automatically a need because you've given birth I think everyone should take care of their pelvic floor there's people like Melissa Wood Health and like Megan Roop Sculpt Society like that now have all these like postnatal kind of like pelvic floor exercises that you can always be working but did you ever hear like when you were pregnant to do like perineal massage like a massage for a pregnant lady like no, no, no, no. Like when you massage like inside the vagina.

No. Yes. So there is, I remember hearing that when I was pregnant. I was like, ew, I don't want to do that. And like if you actually do it, like you don't tear as bad and like you're taking care of it. And like I still like I'm supposed to be doing it right now and I still can't get myself to do it because like I said, I'm a Christian toaster. Like the Catholic guilt is insane. Can I ask you something that might be a dumb fucking question like of course do you give yourself a perineal massage or you like get a perineal masseuse well so you don't get it from

like you don't outsource it it's not a third party it's like it's not a third party unless it's your husband okay that's I was gonna say you or your they can do it like know a lot of people have their husbands do it for them but like everyone thinks it's like this like sexual pleasure thing and it's like not like I go to physical therapy and I get a finger inside of my body whoa right because they're going to see the floor the pelvic floor where is your pelvic floor see like isn't it crazy that you don't know these things like not a sense of an attack on you and a sense of like women's health like I know no one teaches us jack no no one teaches us jack and I feel like you don't know something until it becomes your problem that's how I felt about my cervix like when they told

me I had a short cervix at the doctor I was like sweet like I'm sure it makes tracks like I didn't know that the cervix was holding together the whole thing and that it shrinks I didn't know until it happened to you yeah so yeah there's so much that we don't know and you learn on the job but I guess if something isn't thrown your way yet you don't know about it but I know like what my pelvis is and does this have anything to do with Kegels so yes but when I talk to my girlfriends about it because they all know that I go to physical therapy so they're all kind of like profiting off my um knowledge yeah yeah yes exactly they're like okay so like what am I weak they're like let's like let's do it like show me

the exercises and the thing that you think is like you know me I didn't know you're ringing a doctor on the podcast but the thing you think dr elizabeth dr elizabeth is you think it's like kegels but you know how a kegel this is if you're watching on youtube this is the gargis visual my friends got that they said is scarred in their brain how it's like you go like this and it's like like you're tightening yeah okay so when you do a kegel like you're like you're like tight but and you think you're like exercising right but after you give birth you're already in that position like your pelvic floor is already like tight like so if you're doing kegels after you give birth it's almost like you're this this muscle is so so so

tense and you're just tensing it more like it's not ready yet okay so it's like you're holding like you're holding this like tightness and then it's already like that all the time like after you give birth like your pelvic floor is tight tight tight tense tense tense and if you do a kegel you're just tensing an already tense thing that needs to actually be relaxed and like be taken care of and then once you're like back to square one which I mean you'll never be back to square one like our bodies are vessels um then you can build up some strength again and I know this because I have someone stick their hand inside of me and touch the get her out like you know see the whole floor plan get a good idea of what's going on. And yeah, like Architect,

Architectural Digest could never. No, they could never. Yeah. Like I, I can just see myself like doing my 73 questions, like about walking around my pelvic floor. Yeah. Anyway, I know that's a lot for the non-mama toasters and my friends are going to be like, Lauren, did you really have to do that? But I just, I didn't, I was curious about if anyone ever checks on your pelvic floor. No, no one has. I have not. I didn't know it was really an area of concern. So you have been like recovering from your birth experience. Are you like, where are you in your journey? So I'm seven months postpartum and I still go to physical therapy. I did an entire like birth story, whatever, on YouTube. So I'll do an abridged version.

But basically like her shoulder. So like I only pushed for like two hours. Like birth was so easy. Remember I texted you and I was like. Yeah, you were like, oh my God, that was amazing. Peaceful. Loved it. And you were like, wait, what?

You were like, I want to do it every day. This was the best time of my life. You were so good you're like what the fuck and I was like but caveat like postpartum was fucking miserable for like a few weeks and I had to go to the doctor once you know how you don't usually go for like six weeks to the doctor I went every single week to this like separate clinic because my terror was so bad. And like I had like cauterization done. I had like silver nitrate put down there. Like things were constantly happening downstairs because it was like so bad. And so I was like not okay until probably like month four, I would say.

Wow. And how are you now? You're still going to physical therapy, so it's not healed. It's healed in a sense of like physically, but like the muscles and stuff, like, you know how like when you have to like, you know, when you sneeze, how you like, if you have to pee, you like hold your bladder. So like the other, like yesterday, like I had to sneeze, but then all of a sudden I had to cough at the same time. And like the next thing you know, like I peed my pants. Yeah. That's so that's your pelvic floor.'s your pelvic floor okay yeah I feel that so it's like it's like a muscle and like that muscle is like

not doing its job and that's okay to get swole yeah it needs like it's uh gtl yes exactly it's not busting I'll tell you that it's not busting um but I just want to be fair like a cough and a sneeze at the same time and if you had a full bladder, like that's a lot for the pelvis. It's a lot for the pelvis. It's a lot for any pelvis. But if it's like – if it were every sneeze all the time? So it was like month one postpartum. It was every – there was no such thing as holding in a toot.

There was no clenching available. It was just, oh there that just slipped out so the pelvic floor also affects farts and poop yes interesting and i'm like i know you hate talking about this stuff so actually it's funny i don't i don't dislike talking about like postpartum things i think like we need the more you know star and it's not it's not like gratuitous just bathroom talk for nothing right right right you know what I mean I don't feel that way no I just feel like it's you talk so much about labor and delivery not you like the overall you that like postpartum like thank god someone, no, you have to take Miralax and Colace and like all that stuff.

Because like I didn't have like a problem in that department. But like no one talks about it because it's like fucking disgusting. And then all of a sudden you're like home. And I'm like, oh, like the diapers thing like wasn't just like a cute like little bit. Like I'm dying. I was dying. So it seems like you're open about this. You were in diapers for poop. Oh, oh no I wasn't shitting my pants that was actually just a couple weeks ago it was actually

the morning of Claudia hosting the Vince Camuto party so if you want to just look at timeline oh that was like two days ago yeah that was a week ago because I was like I had to FaceTime you I had to tell you a story and oh she was like it better be she was busy that day with exactly I was like and so she like FaceTimes me she's like tell me really quick it better be good and I'm like it's not it's not like I just wanted to tell you that I shit my pants this morning she's like I gotta go bye and I was like okay yeah I'm ice cold but it's cold um anyway so this is a lot of talk and I'm gonna start reeling in it now but well no it's good because what I wanted to talk to you about today is just like catch up postpartum things

I feel like we've talked a little bit since we both gave birth we gave birth around the same time but I feel like for a few weeks probably because you were going through all of this I was like chasing you down trying to be like how are you what's going on like what are you doing how are you feeling um and so we're just like overdue for a catch-up anyway so sorry to all listeners but this is just me and lauren elizabeth like girly swirly facetime sorry yeah it's honestly like truly a facetime and i did get like a couple texts from my mama friends and they're like are you gonna talk about mama tings and i was like it's my entire personality like it's my entire personality too and i want to know la to know Lauren Elizabeth as the mama.

And I feel like other people do too. I feel like you post a good amount of content. But I just want to hear from you yourself. Like, because also you're so, you're such an interesting cat. And you're such like an aesthetic, like YouTube girly influencer. And now you're like also a mom, but still like snatched to the gods. And like Olive is in her like beige wares. Okay, she wears a lot of color.

Yeah, she does for you. Yeah, she does. We like love pink. I'm not a sad beige mom. No. Oh my God. Is there a worse insult? I mean, like literally.

Like call CPS. There's a sad beige mom call cps there's a sad beige mom she's not giving her child primary color she's depriving them yeah like she's not gonna learn the rainbow like purple monkey eyes on repeat okay like shut the fuck up like purple monkey on repeat but I didn't call you sad beige I but you have more like your neutrals aesthetic and of course you've worked olive into those especially with her name itself like the olive color I mean she's like actually a perfect angel it's like what Mary Orton said yesterday because like I said I'm a toaster I listen every single day um these other co-hosts could never are they patreon members

yeah I didn't think so um actually Mary Orarton is fuck no we love that um and Shannon my sorry Shannon is too my child is a trick baby so trick you into having more like that's what I call I I actually always tell people that like when they ask me how I'm doing like my child is perfect which she looks exactly like her dad and then is perfect. So like if she didn't come out of my vagine, like I would be like, how are we related? But yeah, she's amazing. I love, I love, love, love being a mama. I think and I'm curious to hear your take on this. Like I think my biggest pet peeve and I know it's like an overcorrection because people for so long like glamorized being moms that like now it's kind of like the opposite of

like let me show you how hard this is yeah so now there's this like overcorrection of being like no like being a mom is so hard and I've been struggling this probably more so the first like few months just because it was so new where like it is so hard to be a mom but I hate how that sounds because I feel like when you say something is hard it's associated with like it fucking sucks don't do it yeah and it drives me crazy and so I finally am just like okay it's challenging but anything in life that's worth something good is challenging like don't you feel like there's like this weird, like you either like love it or you hate it. Like it's so annoying. Yeah. But it's not that like, I love every minute of it. And I was saying to someone, it's like, my days are not easy. I wouldn't use the word easy to describe like my life right now, but I would use so many other

words that I never would have used before. So yeah, we don't have the ease and like casual and I'm relaxed and everything, but I'm like so full of love and joy and just like, I feel like I'm gonna burst with all of those things, which I didn't feel that way before. Children, I was just, you know, chilling, chilling hard. Like chilling hard. Chilling like a villain.

Chilling like a villain chilling like a villain stop doing that um we yeah I just feel like I I still chill though like I genuinely do like not every second of every day but I feel like a lot of the kind of dialogue around it is like you'll never sleep again yeah you'll never have anyone take care of you again. You'll never. And it's just like, bro, like chill. Like it's not that deep. Like it just like makes your life better.

And then you sound like such a cliche of like, I love being a mother. No, I totally feel you to my core. It's like, yes, I don't have sleep right now. But again, I have other things that I didn't have when I did have sleep. So are you still not sleeping? Well, as of this week, and I don't want to jinx anything, but when we were in New York, Charlie, like, hadn't been sleeping through the night yet.

It had gotten, like, better to, like, one bottle in the night. And then in New York, like, it was not good because we were sharing a room, too. So, like, I think we were, like, just messing. And we just, like, kept bringing him into bed with us. So when we got back this week, I just, like, started was gonna practice like better sleep habits and this week has been so much better like three out of four nights this week he's more or less slept through the night which is like oh that's so so exciting also in the crib in the crib wow a big hack which I don't know if this is

the thing but we started doing it when we got home from New York and I don't know if this is the thing, but we started doing it when we got home from New York. And I don't know if it's a coincidence that now he's sleeping better. Double diaper. OK, so diaper. And we've been using overnight diapers since they start making them at size three. We've been using them since they were available to us. But double diaper. So I didn't know you could do double diaper.

You know, I do. I it basically looks like a giant period pad, but it's diaper pad in the oh so it's like diaper so it's like yeah like it looks like the like a female like pad and I put it in the diaper like she like goes to sleep with a pad inside of the diaper so it's basically it's essentially a double diaper but someone just like created a product consumers I'm a consumer so I could easily use two diapers. But yeah, no, I do the same thing. OK, great. No one tells you that. It's been really great so far. So I'm just trying a lot of like different little changes.

It probably is that. I think it is. It's not like he was always waking up wet, not even close, but like maybe a little wet. Maybe. I don't know. Yeah. And like he just like he might not like vibe like that. He might be like, I like being dry.

Yeah. You know, dry. Whereas like my daughter wakes he might not like vibe like that. He might be like I like being dry. Yeah. You know. Dry. Whereas like my daughter like my daughter wakes up and she's covered in piss. She's just like she doesn't give a shit. She's like I just wanted you bitch. And I'm like she's she also tricks me into being like like the biggest fake cry. Then I bring her in bed and she's just like chill.

She's like I'm like you little fucker. You just want to come in mommy and daddy's room. Oh yeah. But the thing is if I bring him into bed and he's happy in bed I'm like great we're all happy back to sleep for all that's how I am too but like now I'm like oh like I'm starting like such bad habits uh I don't think so we used to do the same thing with Harry like he would sleep until six and then we'd bring him in bed till like eight and oh yeah no I do that I'm talking like 2 a.m. oh but you have to just call it a regression and move on.

I know. I'm like, oh, my God. Everything that goes on. I'm like, it's a phase. Oh, she's she's learning something. She's growing. She's teething. She's growing.

She's learning how to roll over. It's all happening and she can't sleep. No, but for real, that's what it is. So it's OK. Let's I'm going to shut the fuck up because every, I'm going to make everything about me anyway. So I'm going to let you do your job a little bit. Oh no, I'm having fun.

Of course, like, you know how I feel about stories in general. Like I'm going to rip. Today's stories are good, but they don't require like. Rip, the fast five. Oodles and oodles of time. And I really did want to catch up with you about postpartum ting. So I feel like we've done that. I feel like you did so I feel like you did so well postpartum, like almost to a point of like unrealistic standard,

like for women. Yeah, I would say unrealistic working standard. I would also say that yes, postpartum after the second for me was much easier than postpartum after the first because I felt like a pro and I knew what I was doing and I felt really comfortable and I felt like I could enjoy things and be excited but it was one of the craziest work times it still is I was saying to someone like I've never worked harder in my life period well I was thinking about this while I was getting ready yesterday and I was just like I don't think people while I was getting ready yesterday and I was just like I don't think people like realize like how hard Jackie and Claudia work and I know like

Mary Orton said a similar sentiment but it's true like you guys work so hard and I feel like that's why the three of us like connected so long ago is because like we all have this like almost like underdog syndrome oh chip syndrome ourselves the chip like it chip syndrome yeah it's like and we're all like just constantly like over hustling and like not delegating and like not putting things into other people's hands but doing that with like two children is just it's I can't imagine like you're over here like podcasting up the wazoo and I'm over here like quitting my podcast to have a child so it's just mad respect but I also feel like it's like the way that you quit your podcast is the way that like I don't do things that maybe I would do right if I don't do the things that you don't want to do

no when I don't do things that maybe other podcasters are doing because I'm like I cannot fit that on my plate like my plate is stuffed I don't say yes to everything in fact quite the opposite like I do the things that I absolutely need doing. You won't even get TikTok for God's sake. I won't even get TikTok. I wanted to ask you one more mama question about something that you were saying about like positive mama influences.

Who are people that you like to follow, fellow mamas who you think like do a great job of showcasing the mama experience and also like people who you shop from a lot? So the first one that comes to mind is honestly a lot of TikTokers because they do like day in the lives. And it's like on TikTok,

I feel like it's like these just genuine like stay at home moms or working moms that just decided to start doing TikTok. Like it's like not people like me that were like have been on the internet like forever and that are influencers. So it's like's, like, not people like me that were, like, have been on the internet, like, forever and that are influencers. So it's, like, this really cool – I love, like, following them because it's, like, just real people.

Like, genuinely just real people that were, like, I'm bored at home. I'm going to film myself or whatever. So I love just, like, everyone on TikTok. But when it comes to, like, actually, like, shopping and doing similar things, I mean, I don't know. I feel like it's almost, like algorithm just like serves me content oh yeah and you see like other people who you don't know it's just like suggested for you and like I don't know them but I'm like taking tips and stuff because like I get so much of my like information from Instagram and it's not like I'm like taking everything like to heart it's more so like I'm taking everything with a grain of salt and just like remembering everything yeah but I feel that

way about reels like I'll see a tip Zach and I are always like sending stuff back and forth or like a product recommendation he falls for that stuff so quickly he's like a you know I'm a water table a water table hack like we have one of those like water tables and someone like showed how to like put their hose in it so it's like constantly streaming water and he's like getting all the gadgets on Amazon he's like it didn't fucking work really yeah see like I would do the same thing but like I like I have like one of those like bouncy like jumper things the jolly jumper and then I like see this like one TikTok and it's like the it's like jumping is actually a skill that they don't really like motor skills that they don't use and need till they're actually 18 months old.

So it's actually like not good for them and their hips and they should be in a walker, blah, blah, blah. And like I see that like now it lives like these things live rent free in my brain. I want to say I've seen some things about walkers not good for their hips, like they're not used to walking like that. And then when they do eventually walk, they'll be pigeon toed if they're in their walker too much. I mean, like, what the fuck? Like, you can't like you can't win. I like do I want my daughter to be pigeon toed? No.

So what am I supposed to do? Hold her all goddamn day? Like, I don't know. I'm all set to say. No, no, I'm not saying that's what's going to happen. I'm saying like they have something to say about everything. Yeah, exactly. So do what's best for you, mama.

It's also, I'm a speech pathologist, pediatrician, mama of four, and this. And here is how I recommend introducing solids to your baby. And I'm like, okay. How's solids going for you, by the way? I feel like you're doing baby-led weaning. You know, I'm doing a combo. I saw Olive with some chunky food. Okay. First of all. she was eating chunks okay whoa like chunk shaming he was she was eating no that's baby led weaning where they eat like

not pureed all the time baby led weaning is you think I don't get served this shit that's what I meant by chunks like not puree what's the word okay so she solids she doesn't love a chunky moment honestly she doesn't love a solid no she loves a puree she's a big little spoon girl and she loves her purees and so I'm trying to like put more solids in front of her just for experience because I saw a tiktok that once told me it was good for experience and um she like won't touch a fucking strawberry and i'm like start like whatever so i'm just shoving the period strawberry yeah she doesn't but you know then my all my friends kids are eating strawberries and i'm like bitch why don't you want a fucking strawberry she doesn't like a strawberry i know she doesn't like a strawberry

and i feel as though strawberries are kind of inconsistent like one day they're good and the next day they have no flavor and they're white on the inside. That's what my mother-in-law was saying this morning. She was like, the ones from Costco down here taste like shit. She needs a Florida strawberry. She does. We go strawberry picking here. I'll send you some.

We're going to come berry picking. But yeah, solids are going great. And I love it because, oh, I know. I gave her French fries. That's probably what you're thinking of. Like, I love it because I'm entering my trad wife era. That's what it was. You made French fries for her. Because I'm entering my trad wife era. I know what I gave her french fries. That's probably what you're thinking of. Like I love it because like I'm entering my trad wife era. That's what it was. You made french fries for her.

Because I'm entering my trad wife era. I know what I'm talking about. Olive does not only eat purees. Yeah. But like it's because I feel like now I'm getting to like fill this like greater sense of purpose within myself now that I'm able to cook for my daughter. Like I feel like maybe that's how mamas feel with breastfeeding. Like I didn't really feel that.

It was really bad for my mental health. So I had to stop. But now that I'm able to cook for her, like I feel this immense joy and purpose in life. And just like I feel it feels so rewarding. Do you? So like, yeah, she's getting French fries made from scratch. Nara Smith, my ass. Do you find like that becoming a mama has made you crunchy and clean and caring about all these

things that you might not have cared about before yes and no because I think that I was a little bit crunchy and clean before okay but I'm also a midwest girly at heart so like I grew up eating like McDonald's for breakfast at lunch like I I'm someone that's like very much about balance I'm like it's not gonna fucking kill you like everything's gonna kill you pick your poison um but I'm definitely like I try to do my best just because like when I look at her I'm like you're like a blank slate like you know I'm like I don't you don't have to eat McDonald's like I don't have to give that to you um not that I would be giving her McDonald's at six seven months but I mean it's it's I mean, McFlurry sounds a lot like little spoon puree to me. I mean, we did like we gave her an ice cream sandwich two days ago and she was

like, what the fuck is this? It's freezing cold. And then she went, wait a second. Yeah. Take it back. This is nice. I'll have more, more. Like I want her to experience life. So I just think – I always use this example. Ready? You're going to hate it. You could die from smoking a vape or you could die from tripping down the stairs. Are you not going to take the stairs? Wow. That's big.

That's major. So equally equated. Mind blows. Knock your socks off, man. Yeah. Knock your socks off, man. Yeah. Knock your socks off. So I don't know. I'm clean.

I'm crunchy. I think you and me together are, I think we are going to start making sourdough. I think that's what I'm going to hold us accountable to. Well, Instagram and Mark Zuckerberg really want me to make sourdough. I am getting there. Every post is fucking sourdough. Like, I am interested in a fresh piece of sourdough, but I I'm getting there post is fucking sourdough like I am interested in a fresh piece of sourdough and I but I don't want to make it I'm sorry like that's one of those

things I'm saying no to I I can't put on my plate I would love to find though like a micro bakery in my area because of mamas who make sourdough and then they start to sell their wares because they make a lot love the micro bakeries like I would love to find a sourdough maker in my area and get fresh sourdough. Same for like farm fresh eggs and such. But I'm not taking your network. How have you not found one? I haven't put the call out honestly till now. I mean toaster is getter. Like someone's got to know someone. Yeah. What's a great sourdough bakery in South Florida where it's like fresh sourdough like I see on Instagram. I want ballina farm style then it's like not bad for you no then you can like eat bread it's not bad for you at all it's just store-bought shit is bad for you so i'm like oh you're telling me i could eat more bread if i just like make it at home like sure sure sure are you gonna make it also

like the slander on the wisconsin eggs the other day okay i just need to say wisconsinites get don't get your bragas in a twist what i'm here to represent I'm here to represent my Midwest toasters then you guys again reading comprehension what I said was what I had said was up the road I thought they were from down the road a local farm instead they're from Wisconsin obviously like a plane train an automobile away I it could have been from California and I would have been upset. It wasn't about Wisconsin. It was about the distance. Right. It's a distance thing.

But you know, I knew that deep down, but I still wanted to come on here and make sure Wisconsin felt heard. The way that they would come for me when I've had one of their local heroes on the show this week, Mary Orton, and you think that I don't support Wisconsin. I know.

I mean, I love Wisconsin. I love a good Wisconsin. I was there for New Year's it was great I had a party but that you guys would think I don't support Wisconsin is disgusting I mean it it it sounded like you did it and then they go and then they go they're always coming for Wisconsin like when Wisconsin. Like, what else have we done to you? What else did we do? No, I think like Detroit, you were coming from Detroit a couple months ago, which is nearby. Like, these are all the places that like I take on as a whole, you know? Yeah. I cover the Midwest territory. So like, you guys like kind of like disrespect the Midwest a little bit.

Well, I don't know if it makes you feel any better. But when I think of Wisconsin, Detroit and Chicago, like I don't group them together in my mind. Like it's certainly not Wisconsin. When I think of Wisconsin, like I think of like top left of the country, not Midwest. Yeah, but like Jackie, like when I'm going to like a lake house, like I'm going to Wisconsin. Like I can be in Wisconsin in like 45 minutes.

No, I believe you. That's like where I go. You're right. You know, but I'm just saying the way I associate it, I'm not just like Wisconsin, Detroit, and Chicago. Yucky. Like Wisconsin to me, it feels like, if I had to pick out Wisconsin on a map, I'd be wrong.

Cause I would think it was like above California. That's where I think it is. But see like, that's what I don't love about geography is like, it really should be more feeling based. Cause that's how I feel as well. Like, I don't want to know where it is on the map. I'm going to tell you where I feel like it is. And something where I felt like that I've now like taught myself because I know it's

not right, like the where I feel like Chicago is in the country versus where it actually is are two different places. I feel like it's dead center of this country, like probably like Kansas. But it's actually like just to the left of New York yeah see like I feel as though like sometimes I'm like am I close to Canada like could be you are skipping a jump you're close to Michigan yeah yeah but it doesn't that doesn't I don't want to get into geography because I'm going to expose myself like in the beginning of the episode like I said I was a dumbass like I'm not fucking kidding myself. Like in the beginning of the episode, like I said, I was a dumbass. Like I'm not fucking kidding. I blame my mother.

She transferred me schools right before we had to take the geography 50 states test and like fill in all the blanks. And I switched schools. I never had to take it. So I'm an idiot. Well, I also feel like transferring schools builds character.

So maybe you wouldn't be the online sensation that you are if you hadn't. So it's one or the other. No geography or bus in personality. What's it going to be? Bus in personality. A little bit of trauma, a little bit of transition, and boom, you're a podcaster. Boom.

Who's going to quit? Okay. Now, without further ado, it is time, unfortunately for me, for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know. Today's Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by Saks.com. Turdi and I have decided that we are saying yes to warm weather this year, and that means we are stepping up our wardrobes with the help of Saks.com. Turdy and I have decided that we are saying yes to warm weather this year, and that means we are stepping up our wardrobes with the help of Saks.com. Everybody knows Saks.com is the place to shop.

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and to all of our sponsors. Our first story today is a bit of architectural news as Emma Roberts is sharing her new home, calling it a grown-up dollhouse in LA. So Emma Roberts gave Architectural Digest a tour of her home and it is very, I feel like if you follow Emma Roberts, Architectural Digest a tour of her home. And it is very, I feel like if you follow Emma Roberts, it's actually not a departure from where you think she would live. But I feel like if you just think of her as like Hollywood, young, modern, then you'd be surprised at the style of her home because it's very, what's, I'm sure there's a word for it,

but I feel like it's not that like typical new modern look that everyone's going for. Modern farmhouse, et cetera. Like her house has so much personality. She has doll. Character. Character. She collects dolls. Of course she collects books.

There's so much like texture and fabric and patterns in her home. And she recently moved to this home with her three-year-old son, Rhodes. And so it's really just designed like for the two of them to just have like a magical cozy spot. Cozy is the vibe that she's constantly going for, which I feel to my core. And I just love Emma Roberts. I love – You know what makes me so upset though? She's not with Garrett Hudlund anymore. I know.

And he is one of my like fantasy men. Like when I read my books, you you know my smut yeah like he's he lives rent-free in my head and I just like I'm upset that he's not living there with her like she could be like even more like country for us too like you know what I mean yeah but I feel like it's upsetting it's upsetting but then I know that this must be for the absolute best and I think there's like a lot of drama. And that they were. Like he was not right for her. And she. Like I think she would be with him.

If it was good. So I think it was not good. Well I mean like. You'd assume so. Right. But like. I mean. Wasn't she like.

Kind of like. Into shit with Evan Peters too. It's like. I just like. Want her to like. Find the person. That's like. Gonna be good for her.

And like. Good for. The son. Now that there's a bit bit. Involved. So I think she has a boyfriend she does she talks about him in the video and I think she's had a boyfriend for a while something that he got her something or whatever um and I remember like we reported a while ago about like a picture of her and a guy so they've been together for a while yeah it's just you know

it's always like a boyfriend like I want her to find the one you know i agree with that but i hate the term i i hate the term doll adult dollhouse like that made me sick when you sent it like i hated that which part because you know she collects dolls all of it like i didn't know that like literally you texted me the article you're like this is what we're going to talk about and i said said, Emma Roberts, like, architectural digest, grown up adult dollhouse. I was, I can't even say it. Like, it's gross. What's funny, though, is, like, it's a dollhouse in the sense

that, like, it's a house for all of her dolls. But when I think of aesthetically what a dollhouse is, like, I don't think of this. I think of, like, Polly Pocket. Like, Paris Hilton's house is a dollhouse to me. Yeah, that's true. Well, that's like a Barbie, yeah, like a Barbie dream house. Yeah, I guess.

I feel like this is more like old school dollhouse. Like Jenna Rink, you see the back of the house, every room is really decorated. Yeah, like different like patterns and fabrics. And I mean, I love the the I love interior design obviously and I love that she is into all like the character pieces and different patterns and textures and all that stuff I think my biggest pet peeve is when people like try to act like they're like so cool and so different like yeah like I don't like I like love books and I like love collecting but like she doesn't give me that vibe she gives me the vibe like love collecting. But like she doesn't give me that vibe.

She gives me the vibe like a genuine vibe of like she actually likes that stuff. Yes. And I think it's very her. I agree. You know, it does not seem put on at all. I actually now when looking at pictures of her home and just knowing the XLE aesthetic, I feel like, you know, they're two separate circles as a Venn diagram. There's like I think a little bit of like a crossover in like some stuff of like,

I would go like antiquing at her place and find a couple knickknacks. Okay, that's cool. Also, what I thought was interesting is the design firm that she hired for her house, Pearson Ward, they had said that they never want a home to look new. That is a very common thing.

I think I always refer to it too as commercial, which basically means that like you're gonna go and you going to buy all of your stuff at one time, like at the same time in one place. So like whenever I would move, my mom would always say like, do not just like move into this apartment and go to West Elm, Crate and Barrel and CB2, buy all this crap and have your apartment be fully done. Like you have to be able to collect things and like antique things and grow with things. so it looks like a home that's actually lived in not just like this brand new staged home so I do agree with that I agree with that too but then how do they achieve that look you know I guess actually she's been living here for a while because she talked about how she lived there in the her bathroom floors were white then they switched to the tile and then she had like a ballerina bar in her bathroom from the old owners she wound up not using it so eventually she put in a vanity so I do feel like this is like staggered renovating

and design yeah it's staggered renovating and design and I think it's also like making sure like you don't do everything in one sitting in one place so it could also just be like yeah unless yeah then you really look like the showroom for restoration hardware. Right. So it's like get some pieces. I never thought of that as a bad thing. Like when I've seen other people who like, oh, I'm like, oh, jealous. Because it makes it look really put together. Yeah, it makes it look really put together. You're like, damn, like I'm literally at restoration hardware.

Like that's sick. Yeah, but I guess. But then it's like, do you live there? Do you have kids? Yeah, and it's like, what are your kids? What are they going to remember from like, you know, just things about your house that are so unique to your house she talked about how she put wallpaper on her son's ceiling because she remembers growing up like looking like you spend so much time like as a kid looking up at your ceiling and like just contemplating life

and that's like a seared in memory in your brain like she had like glow-in-the-dark stars and so he has like this duck wallpaper on his ceiling that I'm sure you know in 20 years when he sees that wallpaper like it's going to take him back. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, that's so cute, especially when you're thinking of like putting things together. Like I even saw a meme the other day that was like the craziest part about being a parent is realizing that you're now responsible for someone's house smell.

Oh, yeah. You know how like when you would go to your friend's house and you'd be like, oh, it smells like Greg's house or whatever. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, what the fuck is my house smell going to like? I know. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, what the fuck is my house smell going to – like, what are they going to say? I know. We need to like – and the thing about your smell is you can't smell it.

That's the thing. Like, I'll never know what it is. I guess you need like a close friend to come in and just like give it a stamp of approval or be like you need – how do you even change your smell? You change your detergent. That's the thing. You can change all your cleaning products exactly and then candles like I think anything that has a scent that is in your home on a regular basis all combines with then like your body odor and

pheromones and then it's like your house smell but I think it's mostly detergent I think it's mostly detergent. I think it's mostly detergent. And scent. Like candles and stuff. Yeah. And maybe bath products. Oh, yes. Because it's like your soap. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

That is frightening. It's frightening. But anyway, Emma Roberts. I absolutely love her. Did you ever watch her on American Horror Story with Kim Kardashian? I never watched it. I didn't watch it either. I'm not an American Horror Story swirly but I am an Emma Roberts swirly so whenever she has like any of her movies or anything like I'm first in line

I I support I love it yeah and her home just like gave off a really peaceful vibe she's also a huge reader obviously she has her book club and like she is like a serious reader no she's reading like Joan Didion like she is and again it's not reading smart it's not something that's put on either because you can't fake that right seriously how many dreadful books can you read just to get for your brand you can't you you can't you can pretend maybe I don't know you can but then like I feel like she talks about the book I mean unless it's like oh my god huge lifelong grift where she's like reading Sparknotes or an assistant is reading it and like telling her what to say.

But that would seriously be like sociopathic behavior. And I don't for one second think that. But I guess it could be done. It could be done. It could be done. It could be done, especially if you're not like a big talker, like you're not going on podcasts all the time, like no one's asking you questions. But I have to admit, I did something.

What did you do? You became a redhead I'm always for oh fuck I literally I'm so close to finishing bye bye baby I was trying so hard to finish it by the time we podcasted together I love it so far and you were dead on I'll only speak to what you've said on the toast not the redheads because I haven't finished it either and so I haven't listened to the episode but they do a really good she does a really good job of like talking about the influencer. Yeah. You know,

like saying like, I like pulled out my phone, I posted this story. It's like, I see parts of myself in her that it makes me hate myself. Obviously. I'm like, oh my God,

I'm insufferable. Oh. But then there's other parts where I'm like, oh, okay. Like, no, like she,

like I keep going back and forth of like who I feel for between the two characters essentially right now. Finish the book and then you have to listen to the redheads. then I do want to chat with you about it I agree there are parts of her that I see myself but I don't dislike and then there are other things that she does that are insufferable I'm like oh well at least I don't do that right it's like there's like parts that I'm just there's like human parts that I feel connected to and then there's other parts where I'm like okay like this is like a little bit like redonkulous but then like I hated Billie at the beginning and now I'm like starting to like really feel for her and so I'm like how am I gonna get here you know what I mean yeah but um I the thing that I did is

I bought Demon Copperhead a hardcover at Target and are you gonna read it you're gonna walk around with it TBD to be completely honest um I want to read it but it is probably going to take me so long to get there that I feel like it's better I get this off my chest now well I feel like with demon copperhead you have to get to like you have to get to the part where it gets interesting and then it'll be all downhill from there but it is an uphill battle until a certain point like maybe like 20 or 30 percent but then you'll be like so into it that like you won't want to put it down because it's genuinely good but like you have to give it time and space and grace you have to give grace to demon i i mean i can give grace i really can i believe we all deserve grace i'm gonna read it i'm gonna

do it but like i just wanted to like be completely um you know authentic because that's what we do here and i listened i'm a toaster and i went out and I was influenced I bought fucking demon copperhead paperback so wow literary get on my level dumb bitch who dumb bitch where right here okay well our next story is some exciting citizenship news well not citizenship but you know exciting for the country Prince Harry has officially renounced his British residency he's listing the U.S. as his new country on documents. So Prince Harry has renounced his British residency and claimed America as his home in new paperwork. On Wednesday, for the first time since Kate Middleton announced her cancer diagnosis,

he spoke via a video link at Travelist's annual general meeting. Wow, is there like a Zoom presentation this man won't show up to? Travelist is a sustainable travel organization that he founded in 2019 sure it's a non-profit based in london and is part of the organization's procedures at the end of the year company returns were filed with harry's new details on it he declared that his new country slash state was now the united states i'm sorry but for a man who like literally doesn't have one job he has so many like he does travelist he does you know mental help.com whatever that one is he does um his now Boston mental help.com his polo documentary which they were seen in Florida at the polo tourney is he physically in it or is he just like producing

directing I think both but I think both but I don't know okay because like polo is obviously objectively like interesting it's just like the Prince Harry of it all is like kind of being like I don't know if I need you to tell me about polo necessarily oh but then also like you're renouncing like you're not a part of the U.S. anymore then why are you talking to me about polo like pick a side I know. It's so true. I know. Pick a side. They really can't find their footing, their branding footing. I think they're working on it, and hopefully they'll get to where they need to go, and it might be American Riviera Orchard. But they're trying on a lot of different-

Which I love, by the way. It's giving Ballerina Farm. It is. But I'd rather see Ballerina Farm. That's the thing. It's like, I don't know if you can do it as well. And I just feel their branding is so weird for two people that have like endless amounts of resources you have the most random fucking jobs like honestly goals like I'd love

to be paid for doing literally nothing um I kind of do but it's I mean close but I'd love to do even more nothing yeah and get the paychecks they're getting and I want to say about the polo thing, on the one hand, it's like, okay, we don't need you to center yourself, but on the other hand, like, you are Prince Harry, and you should be camera, on camera. You don't need, like, Prince Harry behind the scenes.

What's the point? Yeah, I mean, but it's almost like they tried to do that with, like, some of the Disney stuff, and then even, whatever they were doing with their, like, Archwell or whatever stuff well that's the thing like production production yeah production but also you need to be on camera because we do care about like are there two more interesting people technically like no so yeah and they have a lot of that's what i'm saying just like pick a side prince harry megan

markle marches duke sussex archwell american riviera orchard we're at 11 and i'm probably Megan, Markle, Duchess, Duke, Sussex, Archwell, American, Riviera, Orchard. We're at 11. And I'm probably forgetting stuff. And there's probably also just like adjacent words that like aren't – Right. Princess. That they don't claim like princess. Right.

Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Like there's like so many – Windsor, Mountbatten. Like so many things. And I'm just like lean in. Lean into something. Lean into something like you it could be anything like do you want to be famous or do you not want to be famous do you want to be on camera do you not want to be on camera do you want to be British do you want

to be American like pick a freaking thing and stick with it like they don't stick it's just constant yeah agreed well the news here is that he's now like his place of residence is the u.s i mean of course yeah but it's giving it's giving like someone at tmz was doing their annual like their daily checking court documents and just like saw this yeah it was daily mail they love to check in i feel like daily mail is to the prince megan and harry as like tmz is to right right the kardashians exactly like someone on someone's job at daily mail to like plug in their algorithm and like find all the court documents of the day and then they're like oh look here's one he's officially this or that or whatever

does he have to pay taxes here for sure because think about it his income is being mailed to him in california so he's paying florida income tax property tax right but does he have to pay uk tax too i think so he's still a citizen you think so i think so that's a good question this is where i'm gonna i think he's in me too but i do think like when you're in transition like you pay double because you don't want to like get fucked by either one. Yeah, it's just weird. Yeah, because I guess you're a citizen that's making income, but then you're also a resident that's making income.

Yeah, I think. And that's when I go to jail. That's when I get locked up. You think you would sooner get locked up than just be like, okay, so take all my money? No, like I already do that. I already say like take all my money. You think you would still get like confused? I think I would fuck it fuck it up yeah I would fuck it up and then they'd be like prison and I'd be like yeah let's go take me away boys like take me away I mean like this is gonna

be great for my content she's with her canon g7 can I bring my Okay, are you ready for our next story? I am. Christina Applegate declined a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills offer. Producer said that she would be boring. So TV veteran and Emmy winner Christina Applegate was once asked to star in the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but she declined the role. She said, I was asked to be a housewife for Beverly Hills.

She was on a podcast with Jamie Lynn Sigler. She said, they asked me to be a housewife for Beverly Hills. She was on a podcast with Jamie Lynn Sigler. She said, they asked me to be one probably 10 years ago, I would say. She said she turned down the spot on the highly successful show because she felt that she wouldn't bring enough of the drama that was required. Quote, I wouldn't have shown up for any dinners. I would have been in my sweatpants. I would be laying down in bed. What fun is that? None. I would be the worst housewife anyway. I ended up becoming really good friends with the executive producer of Beverly Hills because our kids went to school together

and after a few months of getting to know the producer she turned to him one day and asked, now that you know me would I have been a fun housewife? And he's like,

no, it would have been the most boring shit I've ever seen in my life. Know thyself. Well, that makes sense because they're friends. Know thyself. Know thyself, for sure.

Ten years ago makes more sense though because I was like, right now they asked her? She's got a lot going on right now that's yeah that seems like too much um but yeah I'm sure like you know she's a young thang 10 years ago they probably were like oh let's get this big name and 10 years ago they were really casting big actresses names like Ivy Davidson Lisa Rinna and I could see her name have being up in that mix yeah I mean I don't know her as much like on a personal level to where I can be like, yeah, like she is such a homebody.

But like you said, know thyself. And you have to, even if you are that type of person, if you sign up for that show, you just have to like go do the things that you wouldn't normally do. So it's like if you're not willing to like play the game. Yeah. I don't even know if I would be willing to play the game to be honest yeah because we are homebodies yeah it's like I just want to be with the kids at home on the couch on my phone yeah but I do think to a degree like if you're going to be a working mom being a real housewife isn't the worst job you know it's filmed seasonally so like you have a

couple busy months I guess you have to take those cast trips so that's hard but you film a few hours during the day and then you're kind of off for the rest of the year you make a good living for like the stay-at-home working mom hybrid which I think is what a lot of moms are doing now you know work even like moms who work from home a corporate job and work from home but they're also technically stay-at-home moms like it's well it's what I'm saying it's like if you don't have like child care like while you're working like you're still stay-at-home mom you're just not like a trad wife because you're traditionally traditionally technically a trad wife is someone that doesn't have a job or income or anything like that yes and not like the

aesthetic but like the actual like definition but I feel like if you're a Beverly Hills housewife like you're in a position where you're probably chilling like a villain like you got money bunny oh that's true and you're hanging it's kind of you know what I mean so it's like it's a pre yeah and so it's like it it's a nice job in a sense of like if you want to like be famous I guess which a lot of them do. A lot of them. She was already famous. And it's like trad wife, I always forget like it's about not like being a traditional wife in the sense of like not working.

But I always more so think of it as like cooking and cleaning, but also like working. But now there's like all this like drama, like not drama, but you know, I'm deep on the talk. And everyone's like, Nora Smith's not a trad wife. And like she, well, because she's not. I mean, think about she literally, she has her husband also take care of the children. He cleans. He does her hair. He does the kids hair.

He, she is a supermodel. She works. She's an influencer. She edits. Like technically speaking, like she is a working mama. Yeah. No, of course. She just cooks from scratch.

She's a homesteading. It's more a compliment. She's a homesteading working mom wife. Like when I take a blueberry and I smush it with my fingers to give to my child, I am a trad wife homesteader. You are homesteading. You are. Yeah. Like because I didn't go out and buy the puree I literally smushed a blueberry with my fingers like I am homegrown yeah I'm homestead yeah olive is an organic might as well go to Wisconsin

like I I could get eggs from up the road in Wisconsin you could you should go to that farm I'm gonna find it but yeah like I love being in my trad wife homestead era but like ultimately like we aren't technically abiding by the definition yeah I know but it's like so on the one hand it's like I guess trad wife is meant to be like you should be like relieved to not be called a trad wife or I don't but it's like no call me a trad wife even though I'm like certainly not but I am exactly that's what I'm saying. I'm like, I'm not. But I am. I'm not.

But I am. OK, so we need a third word. We need a third word. Right. Like, what are we then? We're stay at home working moms. I feel like it's like then people are like, yeah, but your job is so easy. Like, you're not a real working mom.

It's like, so am I working or am I not? Like, I'm not a stay at home mom, but I'm not a working mom. So like, literally, what am I? Yeah. Sound off in the comments. yeah but we do need a third word yeah because it's like the in-between work like it's like a hybrid right yeah like a working mom and then also homesteading if you are smushing your own blueberries well that's the thing it's like I really truly identify with homesteading and trad. Like I... Me too.

Like I'm very close to making my own sourdough. So like I want to somehow find a word that like has to do with that for us, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to still have that rustic energy in our new definition. Like a modern... Mod wife. Mod wife. Oh, sounds a little like mob wife.

I like it though because we're gangsters we're gangsta gangsta my sourdough has garlic in it motherfucker watch out it packs a punch have you ever met two more gangster girls literally never we're mod wives mod wives homesteading mod wives homesteading mod wives and you know what people then you know how like then the the mod wives and the chad wives they like make a tiktok with someone speaking on top of them like and it's usually from a podcast yeah someone's gonna clip this for sure please do please rip me a new asshole because like we kind of don't know how to it's already ripped it's already ripped it's already ripped let's get into our last two stories

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Thank you, Built. on your rent major key and live your best life with your points thank you built our next story is a bit of children's content news I don't know if you've seen this but Bluey sort of like broke the internet this week this was on my list of things to ask you about is Bluey ending parents are freaking out over the sign episode so Bluey dropped their season three finale called the sign this week and apparently it was very emotional and like the parents are crying did you watch it okay so I haven't watched it because I'm I'm a big Bluey stan though which when you posted on your Instagram that Bluey is a girl no you guys I feel like we can't go any further with I cannot get over like

I still haven't like reprogrammed my mind Bluey if you guys have watched the kids show Bluey you need to know that Bluey is apparently a girl and I only know this because we were watching Bluey so I bought some Bluey books and in the books like the pronouns are she and so Bluey's a girl Bingo is a girl which I knew they're sisters it's a show about sisterhood like I literally never would have thought that I'm sorry but Bluey looks like the dad and the name Bluey like sorry to be like gender conforming but like Blue boy and it's like Blue looks like the dad and Bingo looks like the mom so I'm like really trying to wrap my head around this I when you posted that I I think I messaged you like three times in a row I'm like no like lying. Like what? Like what are you talking about? And then even I was watching an episode yesterday and it was the, it was like the dad, Bluey's

dad and his brother. So they were like, it's always the older brother with the younger brother. And I was like, wait, maybe they're not. But they were talking about each other. And then they like reconfirmed that they were sisters. And I was just like, I don some like I don't know like the drunkle but I was like yeah in one of the stories in the book they go to like uncle scrub's pool and it's like it's clear he throws parties like it's no like he fucks yeah there's like a wet bar he has like that pool cleaner that's like scaring bingo because it's like that snake

looking pool cleaner because like you know there's like a lot going on in that pool which like which like does like scare dogs I will say those snake pool cleaners but like there's STDs in that pool for sure and they have we have to like look like protect Bluey at all costs but I didn't watch it because like I have like abandonment syndrome and issues and like I saw all these parents on TikTok talking about Bluey like moving and then all of a sudden it's like this emotional episode and I'm like I can't go through that right now. Like I simply can't bear it. Like I need to wait.

So I was going to ask you if you've watched it. No I haven't because our kids aren't at the age yet where they like watch shows episodically. It's like when I turn something on I'll just like turn on a random episode it's like we're not all caught up on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse like it's just like oh like we want to watch the one about the farm so I didn't realize people were like waiting week to week for Bluey and like the season finale dropped and it was like is Bluey coming back for another season like I never really think that about these kids shows except for Bebe Finn because there was like only one season on Netflix do you know Bebe Finn yet? No. Bebe Finn

uh it's a show on Netflix it's Pink Fong so it's like Baby Shark vibe oh and there used to only be three episodes on Netflix but they were like an hour long and it's just like Bebe Finn and his brother and sister like singing with their parents it It's like cute swirly stuff. Then the new episodes dropped. I was actually watching them and I feel like Bebe Finn started as, you know, I'm very critical of shows that are like too fast paced and like drugs for children.

Like, you know what I mean? I'm sure you've seen that content. Like Cocomelon is crack. Cocomelon, I refuse. So we don't do Cocomelon because it cuts screens like too quickly. Like it's like flashing lights and it's, it's,

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it's, it's, it's, it's, it's because it's like, oh, okay, Bebe Finn, like he's a lovable character. And then, oh, so of course we're going to watch season two. We want more content. And like season two is giving drugs. Oh.

Bright lights. Well, because they conformed. Like that's what happens. Like drugs will get you. Yeah. Like they were like, everyone's doing it. Let's do it. I feel like they sucked you in with season one being like, oh, this show is mild.

So you're like, okay, Bebe Finn is good. Gateway drug. And then they're like, and now we're going to hit you with the drugs and you're addicted to bebefin for life bebefin gateway drugs season one yeah to get you hooked for season two now you're a meth head season two is like edm bright lights i can't do that like i can't do that changing quickly there's no need for that there's no here's the thing it's like they do that with the other like with the call the cartoons and stuff. Right. So like what the fuck is it about Miss Rachel that my child it's like there's crack in her voice.

My child is so excited so ecstatic so happy like so into it. The only possible logical reason I could think of is because it's a person talking directly to camera. Yeah. So that she I think she thinks that because it's a person talking directly to camera. Yeah. So that she, I think she thinks that she's like actually kind of there or something. But like she likes Miss Rachel more than like Bluey. I mean, she's only seven months old, but like she fucking, she fucks with Miss Rachel. Yeah. The kids do love Miss Rachel.

I feel like it feels like kind of like a family member being on FaceTime, but it's like also bigger. And she does talk like directly to them using like that sing-songy voice that's attractive for children but like for all the good reasons they like it for all the good reasons yes I don't feel like Miss Rachel is a drug pusher um no she's not she doesn't she's she's not a drug pusher she's not a drug pusher that's been always like a good thing about Bluey is that it's very slow-paced it's not razzle dazzle. Like it's not the most interesting thing to look at. And now they're toying with people's emotions now.

Well, it's like, I mean, you become so much more critical as a parent. Like you don't realize like how much these shows are like made by adults till you're an adult watching it, you know? And like you're getting like emotional. And I even am just like overly critical like when Bluey like does something I'm like is that like okay like is that like teaching her like the right thing like psychopath no I totally agree I feel like sometimes Bluey's always complaining like about waking up and eating healthy I'm like can you shut the fuck up and pretend like these things are good like seriously stop you're setting a bad example like no yeah like that's what I'm saying like like i didn't know that a blueberry was a healthy non-fun snack until you fucking said so exactly

and he's like praying he's like mom mom mom and then he's like blue you can't do that yes i can and i'm like whoa bluey like listen to your mom like calm down bad behavior and also by the end of the episode like bluey usually falls in line but like we don't watch the whole episode so we're just like midway we're like bluey's kind of like an independent blueberry hater blueberry hater like waking up stinks going like to school stinks like uh okay yeah like bluey like that's our job tune into the toast we'll complain five days a week but like that you're supposed to be setting a good example i totally you're a role model And so like I become overly critical. So I don't think that this episode was necessarily like one of those situations of like setting

a bad example, like teaching kids something. I think it more so is like one of those examples of this was made by adults to pull at adults heartstrings. And like the kids probably don't know as much of what's going on. But I did see a guy on TikTok being like, we were so excited because like we're moving and then Bluey's moving at the same time that we're moving so it was like all great like you know teach our kids about moving and get them excited to move and have them help and then he was like and then it just went downhill and we're all crying yeah but I also I want to

say like I think for older kids like they feel that way about like healthy food and waking up and going to school and so then they Bluey like echoes what they already feel but then they see how Bluey overcomes and how mom is right and they watch the. And so then they, Bluey like echoes what they already feel, but then they see how Bluey overcomes and how mom is right. And they watch the whole episode because like they're older. And so for them, yes, I'm just saying like at this age, I'm like, can you cool it with the complaining? Like he didn't know.

He didn't know that these things were going to happen. So that is something. Also, I've been like thinking recently, it's like, especially with Quiet like thinking recently it's like especially with quiet on set it's like I feel like these kids programmers like and these studios it's like does anybody give a damn about the kids watching like what are we creating this content for like is it really just for money in which case like you're gonna make it addicting and you're gonna be the one that the kid wants to watch the most and like but does anyone care about like the kids, what's best for them? That's why I like A, like Miss Rachel cares.

Agreed. And B, I was thinking the same thing the other day. I'm just like, who like grows up as an adult and is just like, and I'm not saying it in a bad way. Like I just genuinely like want to know their intentions. Like who's going to be like, I'm going to make a kid show. Like I have these ideas. Like the creative process of like creating something for kids. I'm going to make a kid show. I have these ideas and like the creative process of like creating something for kids I have these ideas and it's gonna be really great for the kids watching

like and that's gonna be our number one mission driving statement not like profit not hours watched like this is going to be what's best for their development I think zero especially because they're all made by like larger studios who do care about like hours watched and profits and like yeah oh for some reason the kids department is like a non-profit I don't fucking think so but I agree it's a it's mama tings you know you'll know what you'll get it when you get it yeah I never thought about all of these things before but then you're forced to so today's episode is incredibly long and we need to get these files across the country from the Midwest down South. And I'm going to call it here,

the fifth story, like maybe it'll make tomorrow's top five. Maybe it won't. I feel like- Can you at least tell me what it was? It's a bit of content news. Okay, well now we're doing the fifth story if I tell you what it is. Well, I just want to know. The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are getting a docuseries on Netflix, which is really like important to me. Yeah. See, that's important to you. And like, I'm want to know. The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are getting a docuseries on Netflix, which is really, like, important to me. Yeah, see, that's important to you. And, like, I'm okay without it.

So I'll leave it to you and Zach to discuss. And now you guys know. And by the way, now you guys know. So we did do five stories. It's like we can't help ourselves. We did do five stories. And I'm telling you, as a Midwest toaster, fuck Dallas. We're not talking about it.

Mm. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm coming in hot. Depending on what goes down today, maybe I'll save it for our guest tomorrow, Stassi Schroeder, who, you know, as we talk about Bluey, she kind of has the inside track. She was kind of like the biggest star on the Bluey red carpet last weekend.

She went to the Bluey red carpet? Yeah, for this episode. And we're going to get, I'm going to get the inside scoop on that experience. Please do. Please do. Because I am a bluey lover i'm a bluey lover what's olives number one miss rachel miss rachel for sure what's number two bluey bluey and number three is real housewives i love i'm not kidding she loves bravo and does

she read oh actually actually the counselor yes but number three before camper and the counselor actually the counselor yes but number three before camper and the counselor is the toast she lights up when you guys are on the tv because like i listen to you guys every single day while i was pregnant when you guys come on the tv she knows your voices like you guys are like miss rachel to her like she thinks you're talking to her my friend mary said the same thing when she gave birth i know like she was like i know you're not my mama she's like who the fuck are you my mama she's a Jackson fucker you yeah no she loves Jackson Claude she loves Camper and the Counselor not as much when she was little she was kind of like I just go to bed and I feel I get into bed and I feel sad I climb into bed I start

feeling sad I climb into bed I start feeling sad and also at this age at this grabby age the paper like I read it with Charlie but I kind of have to like set it up so that he can't grab it because they like board books right now of course the camera and the counselor should be made into a board book and I will get it really should it really really should because it would make my life a lot easier he loves it so much not to hype myself up but like he absolutely loves it what I love about and now that we're talking about kids content about camera and counselors I feel like the animations are so bright that they actually can compete with tv other books are more like abstract like the giving tree lovely story who wants to look at that no i know some of these

books are just i can't like bare bones children's books because like camper and the counselor is like it needs to just be the first of many because some of these books fucking suck. And like illustrations aside, like can you at least fucking rhyme? Can you at least fucking rhyme? Especially for – I'm trying to have a good time. I feel like – you know who really phones it in? Who? Jimmy Fallon.

Oh, no. I had never read his. Oh, here. I'll recite it to you. Ready? The book is called Dada. Dada moo. dada meow dada that's the whole book that's the book Jackie wow wow expose incoming oh my god no like literally talk about a cash grab anyway sorry like I'm coming for you Jimmy Fallon no there's nothing more infuriating

than a bad children's book and I was by I like I bought some Mickey books because like Howard likes Mickey so like let's get some books and like I'm sorry but like do better no rhyming the stories are so lackluster I want a busing rhymingkey book make it happen bussing rhyming mickey book they don't make it happen because they want the kids to watch on tv what's one book sale gonna do for them what's one book sale gonna do it's not regenerative income true true but it's all a part of the the mickey cult you know like it play it has a part like it does it's an important part to play we all play a part in the we all play a part but i'm telling you if you don't have that dada book that like your first word will be dada which first of all it's so fucking rude well lauren elizabeth should write

mama mama moo mama meow i mean he already did mama moo mama meow but you think uh anyone bought me that book no they bought dada. So rude. Anyway. Can I just say like one more mama frustration that I always mean to say on the show because I think it's like so funny and so real. The wheels on the bus. So there are a couple different versions of the wheels on the bus. But like a lot of them end with like the mamas on the bus say shh, shh, shh. And then the daddies on the bus, say shh, shh, shh. And then the daddy's on the bus, say I love you. So the mama's say shh to the baby crying

and the daddy say I love you. And I just want to say like, first of all, are the dads even on the bus? First of all, the dads aren't there. Are the dads in the room with us? No, no. And that the mamas would say, and say there is a baby crying

and mom and dad are both there. Like it's not mom saying shh and daddy saying I love you. Like it's just not. No, it's not. It's literally, I know you don't have TikTok, but one of my TikToks is I have a list on my phone of all the fucked up children's song. All of them. Like that song is so great until you get there.

Until that. There's a version that I do like that I think that. Miss Rachel switches it. So there's the mommy on the bus says I love you I love you I love you the daddy says the daddy on the bus says I love you too all through the town like together we both love you not one of us is being like shh rude yeah because I'm like oh of course the dad's saying I love you and mom's doing like the taking care of naggy bitch mom yeah exactly naggy bitch mom I always, exactly. Naggy bitch mom.

I always say the mama on the bus says kiss, kiss, kiss because I always like kiss, you know? Oh, that's so cute. I improv the wheels on the bus actually because it's like one of her favorites. So like there are so many different people. Like sometimes you're on the bus. Like Jackie's on the bus saying toast, toast, toast, toast, toast. Like she doesn't know what I'm fucking saying. So I just have fun with it.

She does now. But then also like every single lullaby is about monkeys they're falling off the bed the ducks are being left behind by their mama there were three ducks now there's one there's the oh uh we were in bed we were all feeling scared so we climb into bed there's the bassinet falling the rockabye baby the rockabye baby like if you listen the oh see the bunny's sleeping see the bunny's sleeping they're so still are they ill wake up little bunnies hop hop hop wake up soon like everyone's always fucking dying and also even you are my sunshine like the second uh part that gets kind of left behind is like um you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me

happy even skies are gray and i've no dear how much i love you because my sunshine away as i was oh frick oh wait oh um it's like oh my god oh my god i literally sing this all the time wait what is it i'm not gonna be able to think i'm getting it it's um oh the other night dear as i lay sleeping i dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken. So I hung my head and cried. You're lying. I'm not lying.

Like, what? This is what I was saying about the fucking kids TV shows. Who the fuck is doing all this stuff? Like, what is going on? These people are sick. You know what? I feel jail inspired to have this conversation with you because I feel like we started TNN and you were one of our first podcasts because it's like we wanted to give people like premium content around the clock and now I feel motivated we have to start CNN children's news network and we need to be creating like positive content that's just

like it's literally be a non-profit because I don't care what we make, even though we'll make billions because the parents will love us. Even though, like, I do need income. No, no. The thing is, because it's, like, it will pay for itself. But our initial mission, and there's only one mission, and it's just to, like, create positive, uplifting, enriching, stimulating content for the children. That's not drugs.

These people are sick. These people are sick these people are sick and twisted and i am done with it literally it's disgusting okay oh my god i'm dying we have to end this episode so that i could get it up i know the people need to hear this lauren like this they do they do i and i could talk about this for so long i had to pee so fucking bad so sorry to the toaster that pelvic floor is working overtime my pelvic floor cannot hold this pee in any longer okay well I'm so grateful to be a toaster I love you so much thank you so much for being in your network um where can everyone follow you and all your mom Lauren Elizabeth Lauren Elizabeth on everything mama content it girl content yeah I just called myself an it girl because it's just a fucking phrase okay it's just like an aesthetic I don't actually I hate myself everyone knows that by the

way do you remember that when you were starting your podcast and we were trying to come up with names for it like I wanted you to call it the it girl podcast yeah uh tigs who like oh my god oh I didn't even know that at the time no but I just like see you I know girl and now you're an mama girl and so you're mom you're an it mom and I now you're an mama it girl. And so you're an it mom. You're an it mom. And you're allowed to say it because I'm saying it. Okay, thank you. It's more just an aesthetic. Anyway, pelvic floor, gotta go.

Love you guys. Bye. Bye.