The Toast - Those Crossed Eyes Are Bussin: Wednesday, December 6th, 2023

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

Taylor Swift Is TIME's Person of The Year (20:08)Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes' exes Andrew Shue and Marilee Fiebig are dating after bonding over traumatic cheating experience (Page Six) (36:35)Paris Hilton reveals one of the heartbreaking reasons she opted for surrogacy (Page Six) (39:26)Ariana Madix Will Make Her Broadway Debut as Roxie Hart in Chicago (PEOPLE) (43:24)'Rizz' Is Oxford's 2023 Word of the Year (PEOPLE) (50:55)Dear Toasters Advice Segment (57:06)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) The Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to The Toast and happy Hump Day. Hope everybody's having a blessed day. Don't forget to hump someone you love today. And there's no greater segue than that to the girl that I love. There never is. I can't believe it's Wednesday. In some ways, it feels like a long week.

And in some ways, it feels like a short week. And I feel like the week is going by and I don't have enough time. But on the other hand, I woke up today. I'm like, it could be Thursday. It really could be. Maybe it should be. Maybe if people cared, it would be Thursday. Maybe if people cared about Thursday, you would know what it's like for you to wake up and it not be Thursday. To me, it feels like Sunday because I have lived a thousand lives since we last spoke to you all on this podcast. Mainly, I watched what is probably the most disturbing documentary I've ever seen. Wow.

And I'm going to call someone out because I only heard about the documentary on Remy Bader's Instagram. And Remy, the fact that I had to watch this, I blame you for. You should be deplatformed for putting this out in the universe, okay? Did she tell you to watch it?

Did she recommend it or she just mentioned it? Just mentioned that it was wild. And then I saw it somewhere else on TikTok. I'm like, oh, this is clearly something people are talking about. Let me watch it. Now I watched it with Ben and Ben is mad at me. So therefore, if A equals B and B equals C, Ben is also mad at Remy Bader. He doesn't know it yet, but he is. And let me, I just need to say that nobody should watch this documentary. And people had said, Claudia, you're not going to believe the turn that it takes. And I didn't. I didn't believe the turn that it takes. Now,

I won't spoil it, but it's about this cult. And it wasn't a very successful cult, but it was interesting because they were like, you know, digital. They live streamed their entire day, 24-7. So there was so much footage. And essentially the cult leader, as all good cult leaders do believe, believed that she was God. And they were all doing drugs, you know, and drinking 24-7 nonstop for like 15 years. And this, you know, Mother God, they called her, this leader, her real name was Amy. She pretty much drunk herself to death. She also had anorexia and she was really, like, believed that the smaller the weight she was, she would ascend higher to heaven, you know, making her lighter.

So we saw... It's giving math. We saw this woman, Jackie, for probably the last two years of her life, drink herself to death. And so all the footage, she's getting smaller and smaller. She's getting more decrepit and more decrepit. And because she's like very spiritual, she is not taking any medicine. They don't believe in 3D doctors. 3D is what we would call reality. And so she just drinks these tinctures of basically metal and she turns blue. She's gray.

And then by the very end, she is blue. And I was shook that like, I mean, I guess for most of it, she was still alive. But like, I would say for like the last couple of weeks, she was like a dead person. Like, but she had a pulse, you know, she couldn't walk. They were, she wasn't speaking. They were putting her in the bath. This was what she wanted. Yes. To ascend.

To ascend. I couldn't believe what I was watching like i will be haunted forever what's haunting about it like these are people like nutty people making their own choices to be nutty what is haunted is the the physical the visual of someone who is so bones of someone who was so bones. Okay. Blue, blue. Jackie, she was blue.

I swear to God, it looked like paint. She was blue. And then when she actually died, her followers kept her body in a hotel room for a few days. And they were like doing all this like electromagnetic. They're like, look, she's stimulating energy. Like, and so we were just watching. She might have been from all the metal yes that's what i'm saying she was magnetic so they took these like devices up to her foot and they're like look it's going up and i guess she's literally a statue she's metal filled with metallic then the hotel was getting suspicious so they took her body

out into the woods and were like waiting for the ascension they they thought this like you know and were like waiting for the ascension they thought this like you know was it a nice hotel no no they didn't have a lot of money but they were like doing a lot of live streams selling that metal product those tinctures to people um lots of products you know doing booking sessions for healing I will never in my life get that visual out of my head the the documentary starts with a picture of this like alien body that's how the police discovered never in my life get that visual out of my head. The documentary starts with a picture of this like alien body. That's how the police discovered this body. And we're like, I wonder where this alien comes into play. And then slowly over time, you realize like this woman who was like a normal looking blonde

lady, then Burnett, is the alien. Becomes the alien. Jackie, me and Ben, we could not believe what we were watching like it was freak show at its finest it was all live streamed there was so much to unpack like the Dr. Phil of it all but for me like I and they had people who are a part of the cult in the documentary they're still very much but like Amy is God they were crying about her death they you know some of them went back to their normal lives but some of them still there was this one lady who was so this was just like what people weren't saying this was a

group of mentally ill people and one of the people who was in my opinion the most brainwashed she had showed up all these people like found amy online were they mentally ill when they arrived or they became mentally ill? Both. They were susceptible. They were vulnerable. Okay. And, but they, they were all mentally ill. Like it's like some of the stuff that they were saying, it was just beyond. And this one woman who I think was probably the most vulnerable, she, all these people found Amy online and Amy, you know, invited them to join. So they all like lived in this cabin. They were always moving. And this one woman joined and brought her four kids. And it was a crack den.

Like they were, it's not like, okay, you want to be wooey, wooey, hippie, like sit in the grass, harmless. But they were all doing drugs. No, that's child abuse. Yeah, and the lady's mom did eventually come pick up the kids and she didn't see them for many years. And she was like, it's really tough.

But like, this is what mother God wants. She was like the most vulnerable. And she's still like, she was crying when she was telling the story about Mother God dying. Like, I don't even know. I don't even know. Please do not watch this documentary. Like, it was really upsetting. Well, it sounds like you kind of like gave away the ending anyway.

Like, the alien is Amy and she goes blue. And I just want to say that for me, I don't think this was the... Blue Dadu. Is that her name? Was that the name of the documentary? Blue Dadu. I just want to say one of my takeaways from the documentary, and I don't think this was many takeaways from many people, like the people of Hawaii will not be fucked with.

Like when she was dying, they were like, I got a call from the Galactics. Oh, one of the core tenants of this cult is that like Robin Williams posthumously like is a part of this cult. He's one of the leaders. He speaks to Mother God and Mother God tells him his message. So they're like, Robin said we have to go to Hawaii. Does Robin know? Did Robin know he was a part of this cult or he's just kind of like someone that they've?

You know, that's a good question because the cult spans many years and I'm sure one of those years is when Robin Williams died. Yeah. Hmm, I don't know. They didn't bring it up. But Robin Williams said we have to go to Hawaii.

So they take this woman who literally is blue, cannot walk, is skin and bones. They can put her on a plane. Okay. They get to Hawaii and like in Kauai, the local people start to figure out that there's this woman claiming she's God. And they're very spiritual people that they're all living in this house. And then it becomes like a thing in the community. People start protesting. And then she really angers everyone by saying, I am, I'm sorry, I don't

remember the name. They have this God of, of nature or something. It's really like a very powerful, important person in the Hawaii community. And she says, I am her. Oh, my God. Blasphemous. They run this woman out of town. They get her out. Like, no one has in Colorado, in Oregon, they've never been able to, like, crack. The police know about her.

There's nothing they can do. People of Hawaii got her out in weeks. Like, do not fuck with the people of Hawaii, bitch. Yeah. It was so dumb. Please don't watch it wasn't gonna never heard of it certainly not tempted now but um thanks for the synopsis oh my god oh my god I'll yeah I'm not okay. What was it called? Love Has Won. Because that was the name of their cult, LHW.

That's really a bad cult name. Yeah. That's how you know. That's how you know. I think the making of a good cult documentary is when they have former members. Okay. And who can really, who are now out of it and can see how nutty it was and there

were only two people in the documentary who left the cult but they still like spoke about it with reverence and like I don't know it wasn't they didn't go hard enough for me you know yeah because if everybody's still in the cult for the most part and there's no one who's trying to get just like who needs justice here no one it's just kind of like a bunch of freaks doing their thing yeah I guess it was a victimless crime yeah and so when no one's like there's no actionable items no one's upset about what's going on the one person who died is the person who started it and she wanted to die she chose to it's hard to become moved to action when there's nothing to be done and like that's true you gotta let your freak flag fly and everybody's looks different they let their

fleek freak flag fly a little too close to the sun though I feel like freak is one of those words that's gonna get canceled soon oh interesting and so I've got to use it as much as I can or it's the opposite I have to stop so that they can't find old footage. But before it's like, you know, part of the cancellation. The group. Freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak. That's a good call. But no, sometimes freak is the best word.

I feel like freak was an integral word in our childhood. It was. Oh, she's a freak, freaky, like freak. I don't know if it was like a family thing or it was a cultural thing at the time. Like when we were all people our age, were you guys also like saying freak all the time and we need to make it make freak cool again like we need to bring it back we do need to bring it back but then so many things would be canceled if it was canceled one freaky friday the movie that was a freaky film the song but by chris brown right i woke up in chris brown's body oh yeah I think that song is already canceled for different

reasons having nothing to do with the language you know I don't think so all the celebrities were in the video yeah but now I think we all as a culture look back on that and say why was Kendall Jenner in a Chris Brown music video right at least I do I thought it at the time because I'm better than everybody else also Victoria Justice Victoria's freak the freak out. She did a double freak. What I'm gonna do now is freak the freak. The soundtrack of that incredibly dumb show had absolutely no business popping off in the way that it did. There were so many songs. No, and that's how I feel about a lot of Disney music,

Nickelodeon music. Like those songwriters, where are they now? Who wrote The Climb? And what have they done since? I'll tell you. Because that person is Beethoven. Agreed. The Beethoven of our time. Even like Kenny Ortega. He's still out there doing his thing. How come he never ascended? Okay, it was written by someone named Jessie Alexander. Okay. She has had her songs recorded by Trisha Yearwood, Little Big Town. She's very country.

Of course, that's why it's good. A most recent song, I don't know many of these. The Climb is definitely her biggest. Her most recent song was for Midland. Sunrise tells the story. I should go and listen to all the songs that she's worked on. I'm sure I would love them.

You should. Oh. Oh. She wrote, It sounds a little bit like my daddy. I don't cuss around my mama. Got some words you never heard. Let's see it come from down yonder.

That's by Morgan Wallen. That's a song. That's I think maybe the only song I know of hers. Besides all of these others. And she's a woman? Yes. It's an androgynous name. Yes, but only a woman could write a song as beautiful as The Climbing For All.

Agreed. It's from a woman's voice. We have such a great show today because we have Dear Toasters. We have an update from a somewhat recent one that kind of divided the community. Okay. We also have Time Person of the Year, which I really, and I have something insane to say. We have a lot to break down from her first sit-down interview in four years.

Very long article. Did you read the whole thing? I think so. I did read the whole thing. Maybe I was almost at the bottom when I gave up, but I got the juice. And I have something to say about the article, so I'm ready to dive in. Okay. So without further ado-do-do-do-do about someone who was blue-do-do-do-do,

here are the fast-sized Stories that you need to know. Mother God was giving Bluey. Is Bluey blue? Yes. The dog. Is it a dog? It's a cartoon. Like, it's a little caricature.

No, but he's a dog, right? I don't know. I don't watch, but I know that he's blue. I feel like I've watched more than you Bluey I watched it with Kayla he might be a blue dog yeah he's blue he's confirmed Bluey is blue maybe he was inspired by Mother God herself maybe it's kind of a subliminal message to make people join LHW and they're you saying it's propaganda they're indoctrinating the children louie is a cult leader louie is a cult leader no you know who's a cult leader us mickey mouse yeah yeah olivia sent me the funniest like blog about why mickey mouse is one

of the kim jongs and how like the way that he runs mickey mouse clubhouse like it's north korea let me just read this one quote and okay and you'll know exactly what i'm saying article saying that mickey mouse is pushing like north korean propaganda no there's just a lot of similarities he's he's inspired by supreme leader that's what it is so amongst other references that they cite and they do have a theory that all of his friends are being like kept underground in his clubhouse and they can't escape but for sure mickey mouse is essentially a kim jong they don't do exercise they do mousker size they don't use tools they use mousker tools they eat mousker food they breathe mousker air they hang out in Mickey Park.

They live in the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. The password is Miska Muska Mickey Mouse. The entire clubhouse is an architectural nightmare effigy of Mickey himself. Mickey is essentially the dear leader of his own vanity-fueled universe. Imagine how the other clubmates feel living in that world and having to pretend they enjoy it they are clearly under duress yeah like there's like into that individuality is illegal in mickey mouseland and that's true for north korea as well everything is a shrine to mickey mickey shaped

everything i was in the book we were reading last night there's a chair and it looks like mickey it's giving kim Jong-un. Yeah. So that's just something for you to chew on the next time you're watching. The next time you're eating your Mouska food. In the Mouska clubhouse. All right. Well, our stories are brought to you by Rakuten.

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Our first story of the year. Times person. Of the year? Our first story of the day. Times person of the year is here. And after much debate by us yesterday over the finalists, they decided it should be Taylor Swift. I have so many questions about the process because

it's clear in the interview this process is months long starting in the summer they were in Santa Clara for that show they're like kind of evaluating her for person of the year um the year like wasn't even halfway over but very interesting I wonder if they do sort of this with everybody who's nominated and then pick a winner and everybody else gets like a little blurb elsewhere. That's fair. So I have a lot to say. Okay. The first thing I want to say is I told you so. Like I knew this was going to be it and it's so major. You know? The second thing I want to say is very crazy and very controversial. I think there's a chance that Taylor Swift listens to the toast. I did not have a dissimilar thought.

Okay, because she said two things. Now, the first wasn't, didn't raise my eyebrows that much. She used the word nefarious. We didn't invent that word. It's a word. We definitely use it more than other people our age. It's something that's associated with us, but we by no means invented it. No, and it's definitely a word for the reasons that we love it.

It's also a word that she would love too. Yes, she's a wordsmith. It's descriptive. You know exactly. It's punchy. So I could see her separately, parallel thinking, arriving at the same word. Then she said something else. I saw what she said when she was asked about Beyonce

she was explaining why she loves Beyonce and how Beyonce is just a precious gem of a person I I rest my case I saw that too and then it got me going back to be like where and when did we start saying that like we've been saying that since 2018 at least did we get it from something that maybe she got it from like it resonated with her too or did we totally make that up I don't even know what's ours did we invent precious gem of a man or a woman I I don't know I can't think of a reference of like a movie or somewhere where we got it from yeah and the thing is with the toast like you can you know deny that you listen to it but based on the way you talk like we'll be able to tell you know so the trash takes itself out yes oh my god yes yeah now we didn't invent that no and we didn't say it like that we said that we

were going to take the trash out also trash taking itself out when does that happen you got to take out your trash yeah no I just think I know we sound crazy I think there's a chance I I had like a split second of a thought I was was like, oh, she sounds like Toasty, but I didn't actually think maybe she listens. But then one more thing. What? She heard Travis's podcast about her. So she's not unfamiliar with the act of listening to a podcast. She's not unfamiliar with the medium.

She's not. I just wanted to say that I think it's possible. Now, I know I'm delusional, but. I actually don't think that she could listen to our podcast because of how much we talk about her. I know. Even though most of it's positive, I wouldn't want to hear people talk about me every single day.

And probably more than half of what we say and theorize about her is wrong. Is wrong. And that'd be really frustrating, like her screaming at the podcast, like, no, we started dating way long ago. That wasn't our hard launch at the first game. I just think there's a chance. And I wanted to say that. Okay.

Now, so many other things to take away from the article. It was really well done. And she hasn't done like a full blown sit down interview like no holds barred in a really long time. And there were a lot of interesting things that I noted. I think I saw people, you know, I think a lot of people are like getting tired of hearing about Kanye and Scott Borchetta and Scooter. And like I understand what people say when they're like it's like enough already. But I also do understand the notion like this is her Roman Empire, you know.

And what I really appreciated the journalist being like is the way Taylor talks about how she lost everything before reputation. Like, she didn't leave her house. Her career was taken from her, from the, you know, the consumer POV. Like, yeah, it was a scandal. But I never thought, like, Taylor wasn't coming back from it. You know, she bounced back with reputation. And it was just as big, if not bigger.

So the author was like I was gonna say that but like I'm not gonna tell her invalidate her experience like this happened to her and that's how she she processed it but I felt the same way like I never really thought of it as like this monumental thing but for Taylor and her experience it was and I understand not being able to stop talking about something that happened to you like I really do yeah yeah and on the one hand it was like okay it's a scandal move on but on the other hand, it was like, okay, it's a scandal. Move on. But on the other hand, like there was something about it that really upended everything about her persona. Yeah. Like it was very big.

Yes. For her. And it changed the way a lot of people thought about her and felt about her. At the time. Yes. Yeah. But it's always that hindsight thing. Like after a scandal the moment

you're like yeah and then years later you're like who cares but I also think her reaction to it made it bigger like she said she stayed at home for a year you know yes making it if she had just sort of like even put something out and like went back and forth with them it would have kept moving but we all stood still in it for a year until she came back with like in a revenge forth with them it would have kept moving but we all stood still in it for a year until she came back with like in a revenge album which made it even bigger. Help I'm still at the restaurant still sitting in the corner I haunt like she didn't move. She didn't move so none of us could move on. Yeah yeah that's true and I also just did really appreciate she said something so true it's like the music industry just throws like young girls into the spotlight and sometimes it hits and they're never old enough to really understand process, protect themselves.

And new young girls are brought in. So she's like, the fact that I'm experiencing this undeniable peak when I'm old enough to understand it, to deal with it and like process it is so crazy. Yeah. I thought that was really smart too, especially after just reading Britney Spears' book. It's like by the time, well, she never really got the hang of the industry just because she's not cut out for it. Like not cutthroat, like, you know, just too naive and sweet um but by the time you figure it out you're out of the game right and so the fact that she is it intentional because it's like they don't

want you to have it figured out but also they don't want you to be old right even though like 29 is not old no but the fact that she's like conscious of living in a peak right now she said I'm like the strongest and most trusting I've ever been like I can handle what's going on right now like that was so cool yeah no way you can enjoy it instead of being like so fearful and also or being so I feel like this happens to some artists where they're so successful they're touring they're making huge hits but they are in shitty contracts where they're not actually making close to the amount of money that they should like she can she's making all the money for herself like she can enjoy the spoils of her success it's a it's a great time um and then I screenshotted this part obviously she was asked

about Travis so given her complex history with public interest in her dating life I say it seems noteworthy that her relationship with Kelsey has played out so publicly. Swift gently pushes back. This all started when Travis very adorably put me on blast on his podcast, which I thought was metal as hell, she says. We started hanging out right after that. Not to be like a boomer. What does that mean, metal as hell?

I don't know. I think it means like so rock star, I think. OK. I think. We started, like so rock star, I think. Okay. I think. We started hanging out right after that. So we actually had a significant amount of time that no one knew, which I'm grateful for because we got to know each other. When was the podcast?

When did she rock the stage at Arrowhead? When she rocked the stage, I don't know. I can't even search Taylor Swift's Arrowhead now. By the time I went to that first game, we were a couple. I think some people think that that was our first date at the game. We would never be psychotic enough to hard launch at a first date. The larger point for her is that there's nothing to hide. When you, quote, when you say a relationship is public, that means I'm going to see him do what he loves.

We're showing up for each other and other people are there and we don't care, she says, quote. The opposite of that is that you have to go to an extreme amount of effort to make sure no one knows that you're seeing someone. And we're just proud of each other. That's a swipe for sure. Yeah, that's a swipe, right? That's why I screenshot it out. Yeah, that's a swipe at Mr. Joseph Alwyn. Comparing her notoriously, notoriously private former relationship.

It's also her saying, even though you guys pick up on it through her music, it's her saying like, that's not what I wanted for a relationship right right no I loved this I my only issue with this entire feature is that the photos were gorgeous I especially loved the one with the cat it was very funny her bangs were up the whole time and I think like Taylor Swift's bangs are a core it's a cornerstone of her brand. They've carried us through. I really feel that way. And for them to just kind of blow dry them up into her hairline,

like I thought was disrespectful. And like you can't capture the essence of Taylor Swift without her iconic bangs. Her bae-angs. Her bae-angs. There's one photo with bae-angs with the hair in her face. Do you see it? Scroll down.

You're covering it. No, no, no. I'm not. I just, here. Yeah. Okay. bangs with um the hair in her face do you see it scroll down you're covering it no no i'm not i just here yeah okay but they were i'm talking about the covers there were three different covers and the bangs were up in all of them i didn't know you were so into the bangs and attached to the bangs i mean it's taylor swift coded i guess so i never thought too much about her bangs like this is her kind of this is like a lifetime achievement thing. Like you want her to look like herself. Yeah.

They didn't really do that. They tried like new stylish things. Artistic. Which, not like necessary, but like it should be like a portrait. Agreed. But that's also me being very literal

and, but I am a literal person. You are. i'm not like artistic abstract whatsoever i'm very right side like i want portrait maybe even by an art i don't know ellen von on norworth annie liebowitz love maybe like a she's naked from the back and she's wearing a sheet across her bosom and she's turned to the side. Very Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair. Like that's what that's what it should have been. Yeah. So all in all, I love this and especially I'm glad we went through all

the people who have won it in previous years because noting how few music creative art people have won makes this like an even bigger deal because it really is a global thing yes I agree and I still can't think of one person who when we looked at the list yesterday who's comparable in winning so this is kind of like a first yeah it's major it is major so I wonder what they do with all the other interviews of the other. Do they always have an interview with the star? Like if they had Putin as the winner, do they get a sit down? That's a good question. Can you interview Putin?

I think so. Actually, I just saw a TikTok. Megyn Kelly was talking about the craziest time of her life when she interviewed Putin. Yeah, I think. But I don't know if time would interview Putin. Right. That's a good call. Putin. Yeah, I think, but I don't know if Time would interview Putin. Right. That's a good call. Putin.

I don't know. Or President Xi, like, does he want to talk to Time magazine? Right. I'm going to say no. Because even though, like, for us, this is, like, the person of the year global, like, to them, it's just, like, some silly American fodder. Yeah, yeah.

Well, maybe that's why they did Taylor. Yeah. So. I'm here for it. And, maybe that's why they did Taylor. Yeah. So. I'm here for it. And I think it's an accurate representation of the year. I agree. And I think they were able to make this meatier by talking about like the economic effects and how it really, you know, world domination.

And it's like, why are you going to give it to the Jerome Powell when it's Jerome Powell's talking about Taylor Swift effect? Right, right. When all these world leaders are like licking her boots. Yeah. So I think that they made it make sense. And it's very. It was well done.

It was well done and well earned as well. And fun for the fans to get to hear from Taylor. I think this is probably one of the biggest accomplishments for Taylor. I don't think really. I mean, even though she acts like every award is so meaningful to her, like I think that this is something that's above all else. Yeah. I also thought it was interesting

the people who Time chose to speak to, like on her behalf. Like, of course they spoke to her mom. They spoke to Phoebe Bridgers. I think that Phoebe Bridgers, like I know you're not, I'm not like a big fan either, but I think she's really well-respected as a songwriter,

and I think they wanted that to shine through for Taylor, so I think that's why they chose her. Stevie Nicks. Shonda Rhimes. Yeah. And I loved that little Kenny Chesney anecdote. Oh, yeah, that's how it started. Yeah, but she had been booked on this Kenny Chesney tour,

and it was the biggest deal of her life. She was crying. And then they brought on a beer company to be the sponsor of the tour and taylor was not 18 yet or 21 maybe 17 she was 17 i think you have to be 18 and she um lost the gig and she was so fucking upset and kenny chesney like remembered that and like a year or two later once she was 18 he gave her the gig again and that's like what started it all oh he gave her the job yeah he just gave her a check oh wait in the article they said they gave her a check at her 18 gig okay hold on some months later

she got the gig at her 18th birthday she saw his promoter he handed her a card from Chesney that read I'm sorry you couldn't come on the tour so I wanted to make it up to you with the note was a check it was for more money than I'd ever seen in my life I was able to pay my band bonuses I was able to pay for my tour buses I was able to fuel my dreams oh wait it could be interpreted either way I think he just gave her money also I'm pretty sure at 18 you still can't be with a liquor right I'm pretty sure you can't work with a liquor sponsor. Until you're 25. Until you're 25. Yes. Wait. I misunderstood that.

That's even crazier. You just gave her a check. Yeah. And then I was going to ask you. How much do you think the check was for? $100,000. Actually what year was it? Inflation.

You know the economy. $50,000. $50,000? Yeah. That would pay for band bonuses tour buses and field dreams 100 at least yeah because i think a tour bus i think i read this somewhere once actually i was like looking into doing maybe a tour bus for my comedy tour once it's like a joke but it was like expensive like a decent one it's like 10 grand a week okay so probably at least 108 yeah six figures i love ken Chastney oh I also loved the Kelly Clarkson shout out of course when she was talking about her re-recording she was like you know people would say it and like literally every time I ran into Kelly Clarkson she would

tell me to re-record my music and like my parents told me to do it but it just felt like such a an undertaking I wasn't sure if I was going to do it I love that she always credits Kelly Clarkson well it's like it's it's kind of a parallel thinking idea it's not like a unique idea that Kelly had yeah because other people in Taylor's life told her to do it but I love that she always credits Kelly right and also it sounds like she ran into Kelly over the years and Kelly continued to say to do it yeah it was not just the tweet we all know about the tweet but Taylor said I would run into Kelly Clarkson and she would always multiple always tell me to do the re-recordings yeah our queen queen queen matching queen yeah so fun time person of the year always a fun thing to talk about it's the

end of the year we have another uh of the year for today's stories. Oh, what is it? It's at the end. Okay. I think it'll be a fun one. Fast food chain of the year? What is it? Fast food chain of the year? No, but what would be

your fast food chain of this year? Oh, personal. Yeah. Well, this was like my year of health. So like I actually didn't eat a lot of fast food.

Do you know what it would be for us? Sonic. Yes. Yeah. the year we discovered sonic so good are you ready for our next story yes it's a bit of an update from yesterday's story about amy and tj because now their exes andrew shu and marilee feib, are dating after bonding over the traumatic cheating experience. So the ex-spouses of scandalous news couple TJ Holmes and Amy Roback have gotten closer. Page Six has officially exclusively learned they are dating according to multiple sources.

We're told the couple have been dating for about six months after bonding over the experience of being cheated on. Quote, it turned into something else and they're connected over their values it's bigger than the affair now they're told that the hurt is over and the duo has moved on they're not heartbreaking and sad heartbroken and sad they are moved on this is like one of my favorite romantic tropes it's giving Shania Twain yeah a lot of that was I thought of it immediately Shania Twain's husband literally cheated on her with her best friend and left her and went with the best friend so Shania ended up marrying the best friend's ex-husband who also got left and they're still together wife swap

literally wife swap what are other like classic examples of that I don't think there are for me it's always like Shania yeah but that would be like a good book idea. Yes. And the thing is, it's not really that crazy of an idea. Because it's like, if A equals B and B equals C and C equals D, then A equals D. It's logic. Because if these two people could like each other. If T.J. liked Amy and Amy liked Brian or whatever his name is, it makes sense that the person who once liked T.J. through the transitive property would like Brian. It's A equals d yes a equals b and b equals c and c equals d then a equals d did i not just say that

oh did you i missed the d okay it's a equals d by the way it makes complete logical sense like all these people obviously just have similar tastes. Right. Similar interests. They probably all. Values. Look. They're probably all on the same category of looks. Yeah. Same level. Like good looking.

League. League. Yeah. It should happen more often. I would say if you get cheated on, the first person you should try and. Call. Call. If you're when you're ready for love is the ex. True.

That is so true. And if happened at the like you guys got cheated on at the same time you will both need the same amount of time to grieve roughly to grieve to get over it and then be ready again your timeline your taxi cabs are lining up so fucking true that's a silver lining about getting cheated on but hopefully you don't get cheated on with someone single uh oh my god then it's like we're all losers yeah yeah oh god hopefully you get cheated on by so i didn't even think of that as like an an option i think that happens a lot i think it most is most of the time yeah damn so we can't help you there no No. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah.

Paris Hilton is revealing one of the heartbreaking reasons why she opted for surrogacy. Okay. So Paris Hilton is doing a lot of press because her new show, Paris in Love, is out. She did an expansive interview with Romper and she explained that she still has so much PTSD from what she went through

at Utah's Provo Canyon School for Troubled Youth. So she said, if I'm in a doctor's office, I get a shot, anything, I will literally have a panic attack and I can't breathe. I just knew that would not be healthy for me or the baby growing inside of someone who has such high anxiety. So when she was at the school, she talked about in her book, she was like physically, sexually and emotionally abused. And they would subject her to gynecological exams against her will and like hold her down. Oh my God.

So now she has a fear of doctors. Obviously. And didn't think that she could go through all of that pregnant. Might have chills. Yeah. Well, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, makes a lot of sense. I still think like one of the craziest things

Paris Hilton's ever done is like have a full-blown kid and not even tell her mom and her sister. And then I'd do it again. Yeah, oh yeah. And yeah, she did it twice. Like that's so iconic. I know. I did the episode with Olivia

when we announced that she had a baby girl and her kids are 11 months apart. It's so nice amazing and then she brought her home for the holidays no and her name is london and it's giving london tipton who was inspired by paris life imitating art imitating life life imitating art imitating life exactly uh but i do think a lot of people who don't know Paris, like, or what she's about or read her book, like, were probably like, oh, why did she just opt to have a surrogate? And, you know, what maybe she had been through.

This is it. Is that a memoir you would recommend? Yes. Okay. Speaking of memoirs we would recommend, I started Kenan's book yesterday after we, like, decided it would be the perfect thing to read and it's it's not my it's not it's not for me I'm gonna finish it because I'm like 20% in and it's short and I want to reach my goal but I really feel like

exactly how we described it yesterday as you know he's never really opened up about what he's been through I feel like he's still not opening up like it's so it's so surface level that's a risk you run with a memoir and also I just think that article that I chose yesterday like the the point of the article was about him saying like I'm going there I'm writing a memoir like what this is the time to go there and by the way maybe he does go there I'm literally only maybe 20 25, this is the time to go there. And by the way, maybe he does go there. I'm literally only maybe 20, 25% in. Maybe he's just glazing over his childhood because you typically don't like the childhood part of the memoir,

but he was a child star. He's not going in chronological order because he's talking a lot about being a parent and how, you know, he grew up, like, very middle class, so he, like, really struggles with how to, like, give his kids stuff because he grew up with, you know, not nothing, but much less than he has now. And he doesn't want to spoil them.

So it's not chronological. He hasn't talked about like SNL yet. It's just like, it's really not good. That's disappointing. I know. And surprising. Overall, it's not funny. Disappointing and surprising given everything we said yesterday

about how he is a writer. He is funny. He does have an interesting story. We don't know it. I don't hear his voice in there at all. Like, it's really, it's not, I'm not enjoying it. It happens. But like, I'm ready for the juice, you know?

Yeah. And in the prologue, he's like, I'm ready for the juice, you know? Yeah. And in his, in the prologue, he's like, I'm going to get to it. Like he's met everyone. Elon Musk, Obama,

like everyone's been on SNL. Yeah. Okay. Yep. Are you ready for our next story? What number is this? Four. Yes.

Ariana Maddox will make her Broadway debut as Roxy Hart in Chicago. And she did not win Dancing with the Stars last night. No, someone else won. Yeah, I didn't know anyone in the top four besides Ariana. And I didn't know the person who won. I've not heard his name before. Me neither, but... We won't spoil it.

And also because I still don't know his name. But also because I don't want to spoil it. I thought a girl won. Really? Yeah. Hold on. I thought. Hold on.

Oh, my God. Oh, Jason Mraz was in the top. I didn't even know that. I didn't know he was on the season. Yeah, hold on oh um okay wait you might be right yeah because she kept coming up with my tiktok and she was cute as a fucking button okay yeah it was a girl yeah i'm right i'm right i just saw like a picture of the top four and there was like i guess it's all men and women I don't know I don't know you know no okay well I certainly didn't spoil it then yeah yeah no I guess we still don't know who's gonna win man or woman tune in to find out but Ariana did not win that was the point that was the point but she's winning stays winning because she will be

playing Roxy Hart in a limited eight-week run in the long-running hit Chicago. She said, it's just the biggest dream come true. I can't believe this is real life. I'm going to cry. Can Ariana sing? Well, she studied musical theater at Flagler College and first moved to New York City after graduation with hopes of landing a spot on the Great White Way.

She never made it. Instead, moved to LA where she would go on to find famous Vanderpump rules I feel like all of the Vanderpump rule stars can do something or act or are interested in either medium yeah they were all like models and actors when we first met them yeah so this is a role Lisa Rinna has played Eric Jane has played it's kind of like a reality star role. Well, in Britney's book, she talks about how she was offered it and she turned it down and she regrets that.

A lot of reality stars have hit. I saw the great NeNe Leakes on Broadway in Cinderella. Oh yeah. Oh, but that's, yeah, she was in Cinderella, but that's different than this. Yeah, no, but I don't know if I saw it with her as the fairy godmother or Fran Drescher as the fairy godmother. I remember I saw an iconic fairy godmother,

but I can't remember if I'm conflating two different stories now. Well, that's a real Broadway role. Like, Mimi's horror into acting was very real. This is, like, buzzy. Yes. And I feel like it's always someone of note who would be good at in the role it's so crazy I don't think as a society we talk enough about how Real Houses of Atlanta shot NeNe Leakes to such stardom that she actually at one point left the show and lived in LA because

she was getting so many legitimate acting roles she was a huge role on Glee on Ross Washington Ross Washington then she was in that other show, The New Normal. Yeah. She was like, that was kind of her show. She was like a Ryan Murphy gal. Kind of how like Kim is now like a Ryan Murphy groupie. We know Emma Roberts. Sarah Paulson.

He has like a group of girls he loves. NeNe Leakes was one of them. What happened? I don't know. I mean, Roz Washington is one of the greatest characters In cinematic history it's true She's this insane swim coach At the local high school in L.A. She's the only one who could take on Sue Sylvester

Yes Ross Washington like so good So good Take me back she was in a lot of stuff Yeah I wonder why she turned back home Why it didn't work out yeah i wonder if she had like a falling out with ryan because yeah he uses like emma roberts is in everything he does like that could have been for years he loves leah michelle okay so she was in dynasty by the way she was one

episode okay i was gonna say i've seen every episode a lot of reality stars are like on their imdb are in things like as themselves so she was on the new normal 22 episodes she was on 13 episodes of glee and that's really it uncle drew i don't know that one that's not a ryan murphy production i wonder what happened i wonder what happened. I wonder what happened to. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? No. No. Yeah. The fifth and final story is brought to you by L'Oreal.

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Oxford's 2023 word of the year is here, and it is... I think I know. Riz. Yes. So I learned a lot yesterday. Because obviously I knew the word Riz it's a kid it's a word that the kids use it means like swag you're like oh he's got a lot of Riz it's comes from the word derived from the word charisma I didn't know that and it actually makes me like the word a lot more I love the word charisma I think it's a grossly underused term and it's going to continue to be underused

though because it's been supplanted by Riz but did you know Riz before this story no and I never heard of the word and I don't know if that makes me like really out of the jargon or like Oxford kind of is using a word that isn't the word of the year. It's not the word of the year. It's very, very niche. People really don't use it. It's just like a slang word that exists, but it hasn't been assimilated into language in the way that a lot of slang words have.

It doesn't make you in the know. It's kind of like a crazy thing. Yeah, because the other options for word of the year were situationship, which is cringe, swifty. options for word of the year were situationship which oh god i fucking hate that word cringe yeah swifty that's that would have just been like embarrassing if they chose that and thirsty seeming and the other word is prompt which would have been used because of ai like that you have to give a prompt oh it's a stretch I feel like AI would have been a better

word of the year I want to I want to ask you okay so tell me if you know these to the current hot slang words okay mid like mid-level average yes used to insult or degrade something of an opposing opinion labeling labeling it as average or poor poor quality okay yeah that's pretty like his his new girl is mid it's pretty literal i can get behind it simp simp is like when you're being like kind of like desperate and thirsty like simping over someone like eyes wide open but you're kind of being a loser about it when someone does way too much for a person that they like yeah you're being a loser drip trip drip with a d um is that like when you have swagger like you've kind of when something is very cool like it can be used to describe an outfit or an accessory like oh look at that drip look at that swagger yes i'm correct no but it's

more of like a physical thing one thing is a drip no like you would be describing something physical where swagger i think is more personality i think of swagger also as physical so what i'm thinking i just didn't articulate it but i am thinking of the same thing yes three for three bet bet bet that's like i i think of it literally as you know like that's true bet on it like like that's true bet on it like no oh uh that like almost like the truth like yes yes yeah an expression that means i agree great bet yeah all right let's do one more i feel like you either know this one for sure you don't cap cap like uh no cap verse cap like uh no cap versus cap like uh I'm calling a lid like like like calling a lid like cap like period period no it means lying like no cap jack you look gorgeous today no cap no lie yeah and then if somebody says something you're like yeah sure you're like

okay cap they say like that okay cap yeah like cap okay do more do more i'm learning i'm learning a lot sheesh sheesh of course sheesh like woof no it's like when you're really impressed sheesh you have to be impressed it can't be like something amazed or impressed it can't be like she amazed or impressed. It can't be like she. I'm not going in that lake. No, that's like how old Jewish people would do she. But now the young, cool people are saying she. They say it like that. They do.

I've never heard that. You're definitely not going to know NPC. Someone who doesn't think for themselves but what does this stand for so npc is a type of live that people do and so you'll come across someone's live and they're like pretending to be a doll it's so stupid okay but i like that someone who's who doesn't think for themselves bussin bussin i actually don't know you should just start using it like when something's really good like these potato chips are bussin i love that i love that that word is bussin i think we got all the wheels on the bus and go round and round, round. That's my bussin'.

So Riz. Riz is the word of the year, and it's not. And it's not. I'm so glad you brought that up. Yeah, I have a question for you. Do you think that you have Riz? Charisma? Yes, I do.

I know I do. Okay. I fucking do. I know it. By the way. Everything's coming up roses. That's charisma. For sure.

By the way, we need to talk about something that happened last week. No, we don't. What? Because everybody's saying that I don't know how to do cross-eyed. That you didn't do cross-eyed when you said. We had a whole conversation about how I love doing cross-eyed and then I didn't cross-eyed when you said we had a whole conversation about how i love doing cross-eyed and then i did it and people were like you're not doing it so maybe i okay let me do it for real like i i know you could do cross-eyed i would like i would go to

bat for you bet she can do cross-eyed bet and those cross-eyes no cap those cross-eyes are busting my cross-eyes are busting you have to show everyone because you actually you got too excited i didn't do it okay okay ready now i'm like nervous like maybe i'm not doing it right i mean i think that was it did i do it i think those cross eyes were busting my cross eyes were busting Now what else is bussin Is that our show is not nearly over Because we have deer toasters And we have

An update An update? Should I start with the update Or end with the update? Start It ends with update Start because now you've got me titillated So we had a bride

Who wrote in recently About her mom's boyfriend Coming to the wedding Right And we had told her Like it sounded like She was being like a little selfish Like we understand

They haven't been together for so long and you're grieving your dad but like you do want your mom to be happy at a day that's really important to her and I was really curious if she like vehemently was just going to ignore us and disagree hey Jackson Letard I was the wenchy bride who didn't want her mom to bring a date to my wedding since my dad had passed I realized I was a problem hi it's it's me. I ended up telling my mom her man was more than welcome. They danced and had a great time together. They have since broken up.

But I do not regret inviting him since she had such a great time and a friend to be with all night. Thank you guys for being so honest and giving me the sisterly advice that I needed. I just got chills. See?

Thank you for being a self-aware queen who's open to feedback. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm glad that your mom had a fun night dancing the night away. And hopefully you put them at the end of the pictures. You could crop them out. I doubt she put any pictures. It's the boyfriend. You don't, you don't put the boyfriend. See, the thing is you do something nice for someone who makes you feel good. Yeah. And you, we all win, even though they broke up. Like, it doesn't matter. Yeah. Even at a wedding, you just want a dancing partner.

Even if you're not even in a relationship. Like, you bring a friend. Like, you want to have someone to dance with. Yeah. Especially at your daughter's wedding. Now, our next submission is maybe one of the biggest red flags I've ever experienced in Toast Herstory. Ooh. Okay.

The other night, while my husband and I were in the bathroom getting ready for bed, he was sitting on the side of the tub and I was naked. And then he blurted out, it makes me so sad that you won't always have this good of a body. My heart broke instantly. And long story short, we just went to bed completely silent. I'm literally 21. I go to the gym daily. I have yet to have kids obviously you literally don't even need to explain you and your body obviously but I'm probably at my peak but like really maybe I'm wrong for being so hurt by that comment or maybe he's just an ass help well first of all husband 21 that's young I didn't realize that when I was reading this is her husband she said yeah and he sits on the edge of the tub while she bathes she didn't say she was in the bath but she said he was sitting on the edge of the tub while she bathes. She didn't say she was in the bath, but she said he was sitting on the side of the tub and I was

naked. So I assume she was in the tub, immersed in water. Like, I just feel like a tub should be you time. Oh, really? Ben comes in when I'm in the tub all the time. Oh, really? Yeah, like I like to talk and I sometimes need him to bring me pretzels. I guess. I guess I just take me time where I can get

it. The idea of having me... Also, Ben is always stealing my body wash. So I scream because he needs to go get it for me from the shower. Oh, yeah. Sometimes I do need something brought. But we're not having conversation. But also you take longer baths than I do. So I'm not.

Yes. Okay. Regardless. You're fixating on the wrong part. I don't think it's weird that her husband would keep her company. Not weird. But just like get out of my face for a second. Get the fuck out of my face, hoe.

Yeah. So this is a bad comment. But I do think. No, it think no it's no it's bad but I I think that sometimes like men can be very immature and yes maybe at 21 he thinks oh I wanted you to look like this forever but then he will hopefully if he's like a good decent man with depth like when he sees you get pregnant and give birth to his children he will appreciate that body even more like I think there's a chance that this is like a very shallow nasty thing to say but it's also just could be like naive and he doesn't even know what's waiting for him because I've seen so many you know like reels these corny poetic reels about like men who talk about how

like they appreciate their wife's bodies every stretch mark every curve like it brought them their family it's a vessel through which it gives them it gives life to their children those breasts like I think that perhaps he could mature with age and that he won't actually always feel this way forever but it's just a dumb fucking thing to say no and I do think you should like talk to him about a why it's hurtful be like to know that it's wrong just so that sort of mentality doesn't stay you know yeah like I I do think I could definitely agree with you and see it like being chalked up to these are two really young people and like young people say dumb things and years later they realize how wrong they were but I do think planting the seed now being like

why this was hurtful and why it's wrong and why it's damaging like is important in in terms of his growth yeah I agree you should say something and you could also be like i wish you would look like that way forever makes me sad that you won't yeah you big ugly turd just an eye for an eye i leaves us all blind as we should be because if i can't see neither can you bitch blind it was only ever one eye it was only ever one eye so why should you have two and i have one i agree not in my world what if i just what if i just scooped that little eye right out and what if i took it for myself and now i have two and you have one and. But you're cross-eyed with two different eyes.

Okay, ready for our third and final one? This is funny. Hey, Jackson Lettered. I am dating a total p-jom and we recently exchanged gifts for our anniversary. As one of the gifts, he gave me a purse that is 100% fake Dior. I knew it instantly because of the packaging

and we are college students and a real bag would have just cost way too much. I was grateful but mentioned nothing of the fakeness and neither did he. I am not at all a snob who needs a real designer, but I'm just not a designer girly. I prefer simple pieces and I do feel cringe wearing a designer fake designer item because I just never cared about labels. Do I say anything? designer item because I just never cared about labels. Do I say anything?

I am not mad at all. And he gave me plenty of amazing gifts, but I lightly cringe when I see the bag. And I just don't know if he thinks that it's real. I think it's, oh, sorry. I just don't know if he thinks it's real slash thinks I think it's real. Does it even matter? Help a girly out who's non-confrontational, but would feel better if it was not an unspoken fact that he gifted me a fake bag. Yeah, that's really awkward.

Also, because you need to make sure he doesn't get something like that ever again because you don't like it. If you are someone who is fine with a fake and that you would love the bag, yeah, who cares? But if he thinks he slayed. The gift department. He needs to know like, I'm fine. You don't need to get me a new gift. Like it's this is fine. But like going forward, I don't want fake bags.

This isn't my style. No, but she doesn't even want designer bags. Like she says, it's not my style. You need to find a way to communicate that. Even designer bags, like without making him feel bad about his gift. You need to let like a bunch of time pass so it's not like so fresh but there's just an element of this that's like actually really sweet like he thinks he thinks he got her it's your or does he or does he think that he like found a really good fake and that he slayed i don't know men like don't know about counterfeit stuff i think they do they have. I mean, if he's into like, you know, there's counterfeit jerseys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe he thinks he like pulled a fast one over. But like, you would obviously think like, how did my college age boyfriend who's on a budget buy me a $3,000 Dior bag? I guess you could come at it like really ignorantly and be like, I feel like you spend too much on this bag.

Like I know how much this bag. Love, love. We should return it. I know how much this bag costs. Like, yeah, we should return it.

And then if he admit like, oh no, babe, it's fake. And then, but then how do you, you should say, well,

still I don't want, I don't want designer and I don't want fake. Playing dumb is my absolute favorite thing to do. No, like it's, it's too much, let's let's go back to the store and return it yeah where'd you get it again the mall yeah yeah play dumb love that you but you should let him know because you don't want him to keep doing this that's really

the issue it's not but it's not the one bag you can have any everyone gets a gift they don't like and you just put it on the shelf but it's about going forward one if he was conned right and two like you don't want him to keep getting gifts of this elk it's like so sweet it is sweet he sounds like so cute i'm not that unless he like was trying to buy her a fake bag and passing it off as real like there's so many different combinations of how i know what does he know you know and like he like was trying to buy her a fake bag and passing it off as real. Like there's so many different combinations of how. I know. What does he know? You know, and like what is he trying to think you know?

Right. Was he taking advantage of or is he taking advantage of you and your kindness and your generousness of spirit? You got to say that the gift was too much and you want to return it. That's the only way forward here. It's simply the only way. Yeah. You have to find out how much he knows. But you also have to return it. That's the only way forward here. It's simply the only way. Yeah, you have to find out how much he knows, but you also have to course correct.

You have a lot of work to cut out for you. I don't envy you. We do Dear Toasters every Wednesday, and if you ever want to write in about something that's going on in your life, we will, of course, always keep it anonymous, and you can do so by emailing deartoasters at gmail.com, or you can go to our website, thetoastpodcast..com there's a little submission box when you scroll down also completely

anonymous we will help you out and if we have helped you out in recent weeks months or years and you have an update for us like did you take our advice did it work did you not take our advice did you wish you did don't leave the toasters hanging we love doing updates thank you to the girl who wrote in today with her update you can also send us an email deartoasters at gmail.com with an update just put update in the uh what I was just thinking because I was like I know we had a good title for the episode when we were talking and I'm like trying to remember it because what I thought you were about to make fun of me because I said the word update like 50 times in one no no I was just thinking of what today's title is and I remembered okay and I remembered and it's so funny let me think did you not have that

feeling when we were saying something like oh that's the title a plus b plus d equals d good okay what what is yours cross eyes are bussing that's the title have a great day everyone thank you so much for listening to the toast and the lightning morning show where we deal with the fast side stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube so if you're watching this on YouTube please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast on wherever podcasts can be found. So on Spotify, Twitter, Stitcher, Public Radio,

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