The Toast - Toast Herstory: I Don’t Like YOU (Original Airdate April 3rd, 2024)

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

Watch the original episode here on YouTubeBrittany Cartwright describes 'breaking-point' fight with Jax Taylor that led to separation (Page Six) + Vanderpump Rules Recap (19:13)Kelly Ripa begged for an invitation to Diddy's yacht in Tuesday's 'Live' rerun (Page Six) (40:01)Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's Lookalike Kids Harlow, 16, and Sparrow, 14, Make Red Carpet Debut (PEOPLE) (45:53)Lizzo Breaks Silence to 'Clarify' She's Only Quitting 'Negative Energy' (PEOPLE) (48:43)Jennifer Lopez Quietly Rebrands Tour as Greatest Hits Show Amid Weak Ticket Sales (Variety) (51:14)Dear Toasters Advice Segment (58:17)The Toast Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/thetoast  Merch:https://www.shoptoastmerch.comLean In:https://www.flow.page/leaninThe Camper & The Counselor:https://www.thecamperandthecounselor.comGirl With No Job by Claudia Oshry:https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookThis episode is brought to you by Clean Simple Eats - https://glnk.io/73q00/the-toastSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to the toast and happy Wednesday. That's right. It is Wednesday. It is hump day. It is middle of the week. You did it. Congrats.

How you done. Jacks. You're doing it. We're on our way to the latter half. Things we're doing? The week. It. The days of the week.

I wonder if we'll ever mature enough to stop talking. I don't think so. It's your main to the episode. That's part of being a week. daily podcast. It's part of being human, first of all. And second of all, I like how you say mature. Like I think it's probably the most mature thing about us, how we're so self-aware. We're always observing our surroundings, our circumstances. I think it's really indicative of not only, you know, high maturity, but also high intelligence. Not matured, evolve past, you know,

because everything, the jokes change on the show all the time, but kind of like the one constant is the day. Are the days of the week. And I guess, like, Hubermeister isn't on his podcast talking about the days of the week, even though I think in an odd sense, Yes, he is. But he also drops weekly. We can't compare ourselves to those slackers. Yeah, we can't compare ourselves to people who don't work nearly as hard as we do. To weekly slackers.

Yeah, it's getting slack. Jack. And rack attack. And blame and shame. And blame and shame. Speaking of my favorite person to blame. Who's my favorite person to blame? Ben.

It's his birthday. It is his birthday. And then, you know, I feel like we use this platform a lot really is like a punching bag. with our husbands, and honestly, I feel like it's the best things for our marriage, honestly. Like, I think you and I both have, you know, knock wood, knock wood really healthy, strong marriages because we have a platform in which we can just commiserate and vent. I mean, then we don't go home and take it out on our husbands like other women do, like for real. It's true, I think.

But today, let's make an exception. Today is Ben's birthday. And actually, Ben was supposed to be on a work trip. He was supposed to leave at 5 a.m. this morning. But there's like a crazy storm up here in the Northeast. Like, he can't go anywhere. It's been postponed. So, like, I had planned nothing.

like for the actual day. So I look like a piece of shit. No, he must know that. Yeah, yeah, no, of course. But we made last minute lunch plans. I've got a last minute balloon delivery on its way. And on my way to lunch, I got to go buy a gift. Because I was planning on spending the day buying him a gift.

What are you thinking? I don't know. I was really nice when I was in St. Bart's and I bought my, I was at Prada, like, buying myself things. And I bought him a Prada wallet, which I should have just held the fuck onto, like a big dope. But I got home and he was like, how was your day? And I was just so excited. Like, I was like, I got you a wallet.

But then the next day he actually left the wallet in a cab. Thank God we found it. We tracked it down. But yeah, that's just kind of husband I have. Oh my God, I have to stop. Today was supposed to be positive. No, for sure. I just feel like you shouldn't like buy him some designer does today.

Like I feel like if we think you should, you know where you should go for his birthday gift? Where? To like William Sonoma or Sir La Table and get him like a really cool cooking gadget. That's a great idea. But then it becomes my problem. Why, they have beautiful things. You could find something that would be cool for cooking and really nice looking. Do you know what he bought?

We have a KitchenAid mixer that we got. It was on our registry. Like, you know that $500 thing that everybody puts on their registry. It's a right of passage. Ask me how many times we've used it in our seven-year marriage. Okay, probably zero. Zero. It's still in the plastic.

Once you use it once, you will use it more. But first you have to take it out of the plastic. You have to see like how life-changing it is. So we've never used it. And Ben decided over the weekend to buy a new attachment for it. a meat grinder he's like we can make our own sausage I'm like you're never going to make sausage are you going to be eating sausage

of course not that would be the craziest thing that would have been that sounds like an April Fool's part of Claudia's making an eating sausage but I do kind of love the idea of going to like William Sonoma I'll add it to the list but wow we took a real digression there it's so hard you could get him like a gorgeous premium olive oil okay I feel like I could do it

better than that. No, no, no, like a really fancy olive oil. Like, he would, that's thoughtful. It helps you. By the way, I love it. Really fancy olive oil. So, backtracking before I started complaining. He also loves, he loves a good knife.

Yes. Backtracking to before I started complaining. I feel like, oh, you know, a lot of the days we come out here and we say, good guys this, good guys that, not so good guys, you know. But today I wanted to say this. Ben, I know you'll never hear this because you don't support my podcast. and it's another issue in our marriage. Ben, because the people who rat on us

will never send the nice things that we say. On the off chance that this, you know, makes its way across your desk. Let me say this. I love you. You're a great husband. A great father, really, a really great father. I hope this year is filled with joy and happiness and peace.

You know, Ben and I were talking last night. It was a tough year for Ben. He lost the O, which really was, I want to say, much harder on Ben than it was on me. I mean, it was really hard on me, but Ben took it really. You know, Ben's never lost. Knock wood, you know.

I've been through it. He hasn't. So I hope for this year, happiness, joy, success. Prosperity. Prosperity and peace and health. And I love you so much. And you're an amazing husband, even though I joke, really 10 out of 10. Couldn't ask for anyone better, except for Joe Mangonello.

But, you know, let's not bring him up, you know? Yeah, yeah. No need to, like, compare Ben to, you know, who's the worst husband? Honestly, it's Brock from Riba. I can't get over it. He's so awful, just awful. I was going to say like Scott Peterson, but have you seen that there's like a movement of people

who are believing Scott Peterson now, like it's come full circle, and now they're thinking maybe he didn't do it. Okay. There's also like a movement of people who support Osama bin Laden. Like who gives a fuck, you know? No, I'm saying this is really making its way. The mentally ill are going to stay mentally ill.

And as long as us mentally well people remember, that and we don't let them get to us, we'll be okay, you guys. Yeah. So I'm glad that that's not, Ben. Oh, is that to say? No, it's not. Well, TBD. It's not. He's the best. You've said nice things, sturdy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the best and we love him dearly here at the toast. He's, you know, he's always there for us. He fills in when we need him to. He's great for the content. He's always up for a good joke. And, you know, Ben, I love you. I really do. I love Happy birthday, Ben. Oh, and Spritz is celebrating in a big way.

They are biggest sale of the year, 24 hours. The code is BSC 32. Stands for Ben's Offer Celebrity is turning 32. 32. And that's a big discount. We don't really do that. So BSC32 at Spritz Society.com. If you want to do anything nice for Ben's offer,

you will go to the website, click around, maybe buy something. Like, that means more to, like, Spritz means more to Ben than I do, you know? And that's not true. honestly for his birthday she just plays a mega order on the website like you should you should ben is like always like monitoring sprits and like when people there some people order that would make his day some people order like for bachelor at parties or even for their weddings and they order like bulk amounts and ben will go to like the highest um amount and like literally add product to their order and send them a thank you note like he's obsessed I'll do it that's my gift

whatever you were going to spend at like louis Vuitton or William sonoma spend at spritz love that and then like send it to like a worthy toaster love because I'm sure you don't need a wedding I'm sure you don't need more spritz in your house if it's anything like my house we're stocked more sprits than water so it's a great day I'll be out with this celebrity all afternoon I had to clear my schedule

because I got to take care of the birthday boy said that'll be great we're going to lunch I do have half of his gift purchased I mentioned it on the Patreon I'm going to give it to him today so should I say it I don't want any bitch these bitches to spoil it Let's put trust in the audience. Even though I trust the audience, I just don't trust the rats.

But like let's give them a chance to not disappoint us. No, and like by the time this episode is up, I'll be giving it him an hour later. Yeah, I think we're fine. And he won't be on his phone because he'll be with his darling wife. The first half of the gift that I got him is, of course, just so happens Ben's birthday week, Olivia Rodriguez performing at Madison Square Garden,

like four different nights. Oh, yeah, I knew that. So I'm getting, I already got those for Saturday night. Oh, I knew that. I thought it was going to be something I didn't know, which is why I made you say it. But yeah, we did take a big chance now. Oh, fuck. Should we cut it out?

No, no, no, no. I'm saying, like, let's see if people have learned. Yeah. And then if someone does message him, well, name, shame, and blame them. Oh, by the way, if somebody does message them, like, I will be sending them. I'm going to find their name and then find their address. And I will, like, get on one of those, like, monthly, annoying prank mail things where they send you a glitter bomb, a bag of shit. You know, like, I will do that to you.

So just be prepared. Love it. And I'm a woman of my word. Like, I will follow up. Love it. Name shame and blame. So we've got Ben today. We've got Deer Toasters.

They're fabulous. We've an update. We have a couple really funny ones. We also have stories. Describe them for me. And perhaps, let's say six words. Wow, six. Okay.

They are good. They're not great. A conjunction. That's like six and a half words, but I'll allow it. I'm within the box. Put me in a box. You know why I'll allow it? Why?

Because I love a... Conjunction, junction, what's your function? Thank you. We finish each other's. Sandwiches. I want a sandwich. I would not turn us... Oh, and also we're going out for like the celebratory lunch.

Where are you going to lunch? Well, I don't want to like get stabbed. So I'll tell you, okay, let me tell you. We've eaten there. Of course. They have a few locations in Manhattan. Is it one of our usual for... No.

Okay. I'll just text it to you. I love texting. I love texting. And this is like, this is not, people will find out on your Instagram later where you went. And it's a place where like the food is like really indulgent, especially like, you know, pasta.

Which one? The one near. They're all menus are a little different. The one near, you know, us. Okay. Oh, that's really fancy. Yeah, I know. And it's raining.

So I look like a piece of shit slob with my moon boots. Oh, they're going to see you in the back. I know. It's one of those restaurants. where it's like, oh, they'll clock you the second you walk in. Gaptooth, bitch, to the back. Yeah. What is the Tom Adelvey thing?

It's not VIP. It's not. I don't like you. I don't like you. Actually, that's not Adelvey. That's Michaela. That's the major D at the restaurant you're going to. Michaela.

Michaela's favorite thing to say is I don't like it. That's when she's like, stop Claudia. like please stop she goes i don't like it i don't like it and i guess i maybe took it too far one day just like with my love and devotion so instead of saying i don't like it she literally pointed at me and she was like and every time i recreated i put it in the annelvie voice but she did have a little bit of anatoly tv where she goes i don't like you and honestly the room went still silence from everyone it was chilling because she really took it up a level not only with the accent but also i don't like it is different than I don't like you.

You, dead in the eye, finger in your face. And she also kind of wagg, wiggled her for, I don't like you. When around the room, who's it going to land on? I don't like you. And now we can't say it. And that's exactly what the major deal at this restaurant would do. It would be like, oh, leggings? I don't like you.

I'm wearing leggings. I needed to wear somebody tucked into my rain boots. Like, I can't. I'm just a victim of circumstance. That's so you. It's like you feel like that gets you out of like victim culture if you blame it on victim of circumstance. What else am I supposed to wear in the rain?

Walking around working. I'm a working woman. I bills to pay. I'm not just this lady who can like walk around in stilettos with her driver, you know? Yeah. And those are the type of people that eat at this restaurant. Yeah. You should see their mean of transportation when they leave.

Like, are they changing their shoes? They're not. Or they're wearing like Chanel Wellies. No, they might be wearing Chanel wellies or they're literally wearing stilettos and they'd walk three steps to their driver. Yeah, yeah. I'm a working woman. I'm a woman of the people.

I'm a woman of the streets. You are. But I am wearing Jenny Kane, so like, yeah. Maybe I could see it at the front. That brings up the group average. It does, it does. You look cute today. Pretty and pink.

Are you experiencing, you know, days of rain like we are? No. Am I? No, I'm not. But I did place a huge order of new clothes, like daily clothes last night. And so until it arrives, like, I'm just like, these are placeholders, you know? These days don't count.

I don't need to, like, try and find, like, a busing outfit. Like, it's all coming. I'm just need to get there, you know? Okay, so I'm at the phase where, like, where- I kind of, like, gave up. But I still got my, I got my slut strand, so that, like, gives me a couple points. I'm at the phase where I desperately need to clean out my closet. I can't buy stuff because I'm out of hangers.

Me too. I know you said I can't, but I bought more heaters. Number one rule. You cannot buy new clothes until you're, if you don't have hangers, in your closet, like loose to hang up the new clothes, that means you need to rotate. To purge. However, I have purged like a lot just over time and I'm in a place right now where I have

so many clothes because I have so many size clothes. Like I have all of my old clothes, which I... That's fair. Right. I feel like it's a loophole and I get a pass because I have all my old clothes, which as you saw, like I'm still going to wear them one day. I give, like, they're for everyone. They're great clothes.

Then I have like my clothes that I wear right now that I need, of course. then I have like pregnancy clothes of course by the way you're allowed that I understand I'm not experiencing a transition like that you're going to need and when and like I can't be like buying new stuff again like whenever but where do you put the new clothing so I have the hanging space because I do have a big closet and I could like smush things aren't totally smushed yet okay but I don't want to get to a place of totally smush that's not ideal but I need a array of sizes like I literally have everything from Extra small up until extra large.

And I need it that way right now. That's fair. That's fair. I just need to devote some time because I placed a very, very small order from Zara because I needed like two capsule collection item wardrobes. And I feel like Zara is a good place. Like before you spend money on like a big expensive thing, see if you like it from Zara. So I just got like I needed a pair of nice black like trouser shorts.

And I needed a nice spring coat. And they're just sitting on the dining room table. Like that drives me insane. when there's no space for it. And I don't like shoving it into my closet because you shove it and then you don't ever, like you can't see it. So you're never going to wear this new item

that you just bought. You have those nice spring coats from theory. I do, I do. I was like 60 pounds heavier when I bought them. So they're like a little big on me. I still wear them. They're kind that could, they're kind of like one size.

I still wear them, but like I want something new. Like something a little bit longer. You're saying, out with the old and in with the new. Goodbye clouds of gray. Hello, skies of blue. Okay. I can understand that.

I can really. And also we just got, I got so much clothing. Rails is one of the new toast sponsors, which actually they're sponsoring their first episode is today. We're obsessed with them. I get so much clothing from them

and they sent me clothing, which is like a dream. And it's literally sitting on my dining room table. It's pissing me off. I pretty much already worn everything that they sent. So did I.

Ready for the next round. So I. The one outfit that they sent that we both have. I think I've worn it five times. And I got it like two weeks ago. I wore it twice and I haven't taken any pictures in it yet so like I'm ready for a third haven't taken any pictures in it yet every time I wore it I was with different people yeah same like I could wear it again me you know it maybe I'll

wait to tonight Ben's birthday dinner with his family that would have been a good thing to wear to your fancy lunch yeah also to say I personally I kind of love lunch better than dinner like dinner like going out to lunch better than going out to dinner I like lunch menu items better than dinner menu items. Okay, that's really, really interesting. I don't know if I like dinner more than I like lunch. Are you talking about, also, what day the week is it, you know, hypothetically? Weekday. Oh, weekday? No, my weekday is like, especially with like my new health journey where I'm really trying to figure out on weight watchers, trying to figure out, like, how to stay healthy and but also full. My weekdays revolve around my dinner. Like when bed is done working and we

make dinner, like, it's the highlight of my day. Well, like the restaurant you're going today, too. rather go there for lunch than for dinner is what I'm saying like I love like lunch fair and I love lunch lighting I also feel like people like I don't know if this is just like a me thing I always feel like yeah I can have like a bigger lunch because like by the end of the day it like won't even count you know yeah but I'm not even going to have a big lunch I want a light salad a couple abs to tuna tartar maybe like one like that's just what I like you know I don't eat steak I don't eat meat like right so the dinner options what I'm going to have pasta like it's just heavier and there's less for your girl. I feel that. And your girl has been left behind.

Yarr girl. I do like it. I like y'ar girl. Um, so having said that, I do feel like we should get into it. We have a lot to do today. And you have to make it to said lunch. Right, right. Keep talking about it. Totally. So without further a do-da-do. Here are the fast-size stories that you need to know. Today's episode of Toastastery, which is so fabulous, by the way, I hope you're enjoying, is brought to you by Clean Simple Eats. We have found our newest protein powder obsession, and it's Clean Simple Eats. We love them because their protein powder is always grass-fed. It has no seed oils, no artificial ingredients.

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Clear protein powder is all the hype right now, and Clean Simple Eats has the best one out there. The pink burst flavor is life-changing. It tastes like a melted pink starburst, and Clean Simple Eats can't keep it in because it is so, so popular. It's also delicious. So you just mix the clear protein bag with water. You get super refreshing and light drink with 20 grams of protein. So visit clean simple eats.com. Use our code toast 20th. Checkout for 20% off your first order plus free shipping. That's clean simple eats.com. Our code is toast 20, T-O-A-S-T-2-0 for 20% off your first order plus free shipping. The link is also in our show notes. So enjoy. Thank you, Clean Simple

for sponsoring today's episode. And enjoy the rest of this hilarious episode. Love you. Bye. Thank you, Claudia. You're welcome. Our first story, Brittany Cartwright describes the breaking point fight with Jaxx that led to separation. So Brittany Cartwright has revealed the moment she reached her breaking point with Jax that prompted her to separate from him after five years of marriage. She was on Watch What Happens Live on Tuesday, and she said we just had a horrible fight

and was like a veil was lifted and I noticed everything wrong. They always say a woman can hit her breaking point and it's hard to come back from that. I feel that. She said that the fight served as a catalyst for their separation involving a night during which she had gone out with Kristen Doty. She said he kind of made up a story in his own head and started a fight over something that never happened. We thought about everything she added, calling their marriage a very toxic situation from which she needed to remove herself. Well, okay, well, that's like I feel the first time she's really directly sort of explained what happened. And I don't know if, since I heard that.

that they were separated if I believed it, even though I had been told by people that I know that it's for sure, for real. But the way they're acting is just like a little thirsty. But they are out here promoting this new show. And they have a podcast, and they're trying to make it titillating. So I was catching up on Vanderpump Rules last night. And it was the scene where Jacks comes,

which I kind of loved, by the way. It was giving very much sheenim walking from Brandy Glanville into, sir. So Sanneval was like, you know, you haven't stopped talking shit about me. And then they cut to a clip from Jack's podcast. I had totally forgotten that the production company from Vanderpupup Roles

had reached out to us asking if they could license our episode with Jacks that they needed to reference it in the storyline and we couldn't have signed the thing faster we were like yeah of course and my heartbeat I was like

oh my God this is it but it wasn't and I feel like maybe they just decided not to use it because if there was ever a moment that it was yeah no I watch it and I had the same thought but I'm pretty sure I watched it after it aired and I'm like oh it must not be here

because everyone would have been sending it to us So I was two weeks behind and I was like, oh, wait, no, definitely not because everyone would have told us. I don't think they're using it at all. That's too bad. That would have been really a value ad for the show, like for their show. And that was such a great episode. The girls would have loved to see it. It just would have been so fun.

It would have been good for the whole community. Yeah. Missed Opportunity. Are you all caught up on VPR? I didn't watch last night. But I caught up for the, on the first two. And honestly, like, I was bored to tears. Like I guess the big reveal.

No, no, no. I was already caught up on that. the big reveal of like Katie fucking Max like who gives a fuck I didn't even know I know Max because he was you know on for one season and got fired but I didn't know him and Tom Schwartz were even like that close to friends like I don't care yeah well it was that to me the most interesting thing Schwartz and Gina also don't care also like Lala like and I love her and I honestly I find the whole the most interesting part of this whole show is her and Katie's relationship she like she said a few years ago it was 12 years ago

And honestly, I feel like Lala did Sheena dirty in that moment. I think so too, but I think in that moment she had a really good friendship with Sheena and a pretty good friendship with Katie that she was trying to maintain. And it's like if you want to be a good friend to Katie, yeah, you do go take it to Katie before you go and talk to Sheena about it. But I think if that were to have happened even today, they obviously are in a fight her and Katie. But I feel like in that moment she didn't know like where her best friendships were going. And she was just trying to like be a good friend.

friend, which is the right friend thing to do. But, like, Sheena's your closer friend. You need to be more protective of Sheena. Let me ask you another question. And, by the way, we'll talk about dancing with the stars because it's so funny. Do you feel like Sheena was actually mad at Brock for bringing up the Max thing? Or she was just being, like, uh, coy? No, she was mad at Brock.

Why being coy, what? Like, oh, we didn't want to make this a storyline. Oh, no. I think she was mad. Like, because I think she also. But don't you think they would have had a conversation about that, like in private? I think it happened the night before. It's something that they,

both noticed. I don't think they expected either of them to say, but Brock's on opportunity to like give Schwartz a talking point because like he's just getting like railed on. And it's like actually Katie's not perfect either. I think Sheena did not want it to come up then in that way. So uncontrolled. Like and if ever, because I think she also at this point like wants Katie and her friendship to work. Yeah. Yeah. I um. No, she seems like seriously mad. Big mad. But I do by the way. I think Katie's like justified in wanting to fuck Max. Like I, I don't think she owes Tom anything, especially, like she said, like last year, while we were still being separated, I asked Tom not to fuck anyone in the group.

And he starts dating Raquel. Like, I thought her explanation was totally justified. She's obviously vindictive and, like, honestly, she has every right to be. But there was something else that I found to be so bizarre. The dog. By the way, does anybody else, like, kind of ship Lala Sports? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Okay. I don't think they would ever work. and I'm pretty sure she said, like, she could eat him for breakfast, which she would and she could. But, like, there's something really sweet about their relationship. And crazier things have happened on this show. Like, they keep cycling through, like, I wouldn't be the most surprised if that was, like, the next iteration.

And I'm kind of obsessed, even though I maintain that Schwartz and Joe need to get married, have children and live happily ever after they're perfect for one another. Oh, by the way, like, I think Joe's weird and whatever, but, like, I actually felt really bad for her. When Sheena, like, didn't stop with the braids and the hair. like in the cap you're a hairdresser like shut up like who cares yeah and it just comes off like really nasty whenever it's everyone against one and they're talking about her in front of her and I'm sure like Joe has done them dirty in over the years it's just not a good look like oh

the snickering and the talking like it's just yeah just don't it don't talk about her then if you don't like her Tom Sandoval going up to Ariana like about the house and I want to talk about the house but my but my butthole was like clenched shut. Like it was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my entire life. And honestly, doing that takes such balls. Like only a truly crazy narcissist like would have no self-awareness and like be able to do that.

And I loved every minute of it. What is going on with the house? Like, no, it's insane the way that they're living like with the person they hate most in this world. They can't even go to a party together yet. Every single night they sleep under the same roof. Just the two of them. Yeah.

In last night's episode like they got into another crazy heated thing like Tom left like Ariana was just like raging raging eviscerating him like there's nothing he can say he leaves and it's like she's going to leave and every like and they're just going to be together the two of them and I feel like a lot of the fandom feels like Lala's commentary about like brand deals and stuff is her being jealous and maybe there's an element of jealousy from some of the girls because it's like kind of crazy that you know Ariana who really for the most part up until recently that gave nothing to the show and like wasn't you know bleeding out. like other people going through stuff is now like hosting Love Island and getting all these

opportunities whereas like Lala's been through stuff I can under I actually can understand the jealousy I really can yeah but I don't think it's coming from a place of jealousy it's coming from a place of facts why and by the way she's like with all the brand deals Ariana can afford an apartment cut to one month ago what did we just report Ariana bought a house a million dollar house like she back whatever this was filmed she was able to afford a house as well like I'm confused of course and Chena said last night I feel like they're always talking about like the brand deals like she's fine and she's, you know, doing well. But Chena then was saying last night, like,

in one of her commentaries, like, Tom cheating on Ariana was the best thing that ever happened to her. First of all, like, released her from this horrible relationship. Horrible person. Horrible person, horrible relationship, like, so unhappy and miserable. It made her into, like, a national hero, as opposed to them just, like, breaking up and no one caring and, like, having to move on with your life.

You get all, like, you're winning. Like, and Lala said that she was like, you've won. Like, look at him. Look at his life. Like, you're on top. It's so true. No, and I think that maybe the resentment and the anger that she still holds is, you know, like, she loved this person.

Like, I get it. I get it. But, like, taking an outside perspective, you're right. Like, Ariana went, or whoever said it, she know, like, Ariana went from being, like, a low-level cast member on a show that was dying, like, for real. The show, I wasn't even sure if I was going to watch that season. Like, a really, like, a dead show to not only being on the biggest reality show of all time but being the biggest person on that show and getting opportunities on broadway just buying

your own million dollar house dancing with the stars love island every brand deal you could ever imagine like her anger towards tom is bringing her down because it's making her like kind of a misery it is and everyone's saying it and it's so true she needs to like release it not for him as for that he can feel comfortable around no for her like it's it's palpable and it's not a way to live especially in a new relationship you have this much anger towards your ex like how can you even enjoy what you have and that's i feel like what lala was saying i think maybe a lot of like her anger and just like misery comes stems from her relationship with katy who's also holding on yeah to all of this anger and i have to say i feel like tom schwartz's relationship with tom sandibald was a huge

factor in schwartz and katie's divorce but to blame entirely sandal for that divorce is unfair Like it takes two people in a marriage to break it up, not the husband's friend. Yeah. And I think Schwartz, the way he disregarded his wife for people like Sandoval is a huge part of it. But to, and I feel like Katie really blames Sandoval for the demise of her marriage. And I don't think that's fair. No, but I think it's easy too. He's a very hateable person.

Yeah. And I think that Ariana and Katie are very united in their hatred and just like being haters at the moment. Yeah. But what's crazy is like years ago when the Tom's like, when they were married to the Tom's, they actually, like, did they like each other? They really like each other.

And then they slowly, like, got on the same page and then they had to be, like, the wives of Tom Tom. For Tom, Tom. They were always together. And then they saw, like, their husband's being stupid. So that, like, united them further. And then they were like, oh, you're doing a restaurant. We'll do something about her.

And now it's just funny. Like, it's the... They're thick as thieves through, like, the strangest of circumstances. Yeah. And we didn't have ordinarily been the best of friends. Something about her. Like, I loved Lala being, like,

like we've literally tried these sandwiches a year ago. They obviously had the sandwich tasting just to keep the restaurant a storyline on the show for like publicity. Where is the restaurant? Honestly, they kind of look like clowns for how much they clown on Tom and Tom and say, me, that place is open.

Yeah. And I just want to say, Jacks has a bar that he literally got open in six months. And he's always posting on Instagram that he's there. And like, it's a full-fledged facility. Yeah. And the thing about something about her that they kept saying is like, you know,

it's going to be smaller and we're going to be, be more responsible with everything. Right. And where is it? And I didn't even realize. I only realized when I was watching last night that it's in the opening credits. Yeah.

And it looks great. And I'm starting to feel like if there were a reason to hold up a license, you know, like city bureaucracy that we're holding it up, like they would tell everyone that. They'd be like, you guys were so excited, but this, that, and this is happening. The fact that there's no communication

about what's holding it up, like I think bodes bad. very poorly and I forgot who said it but Lisa was right like they got a lease they've been paying rent on Sun or West Hollywood Boulevard whatever that street like one of the most expensive and yeah it's small but it's a storefront store level like it's expensive you've been now been paying rent for over a year with now making a dollar they sold a little merch actually so that was something but like what in the world is going on yeah and then the other thing was the thing with the dog and it also becomes like a bigger storyline in this episode like

because she called, Ariana, like, calls him, like, an attempted dog murderer. Oh, yeah. And when she said, like, that they're her children and that, like, this person, like, when she was talking to Lala, she was like, those are my children. And, like, this person, like, didn't care if my children died, it's like, if that's how you feel, why did you leave them alone in a house with a sociopath? Well, that's one point. But also when she was saying, I feel like that whole situation where Tom put the dog in

Ariana's room and there was food on the nightstand. Well, that's just, first of all, Ariana needs to clean up her room. I mean, Lala says in this episode, like, didn't you get a trash bag sponsorship? Like, throw it away. Throw it away. I had to say, it seemed like a really, really unfortunate series of events, not a manslaughter. Like, I just was like, honestly, whatever was going on in the house, sometimes you need to put a dog in a room. And this is Ariana's dog.

And Ariana's in the master suite. Putting the dog in Ariana's room, I didn't think was like a crazy thing to do. Should he have known to go look around for food? Honestly, no either. This is not a kitchen. It's a room. Like, it was just, it felt like something really unfortunate. unfortunate, not something malicious. Oh, I agree. But this is just, I feel like this is

Ariana's anger manifesting. And if she just sort of like released it for herself, like she wouldn't, because honestly this was, you always want to blame something when someone like something like this happens. Like I remember when Theo had cancer, we're like, who can we blame? Yeah. Who can we blame? And imagine if the person you hated most in this world was partially responsible. Like, easy. Yeah, of course. But like in reality, that's really not the case. no and again like all of these things that she's like angry about or holding on to like and this negativity in her life would just be gone if she would just leave the house until you guys sort it out and the way that they're living with the boxes and oh and anne and and so ariana

asked anne for recommendations for assistance and and wants to be put in the running and we do know that in real life anne does work for ariana oh we do oh yeah i knew that did you not no because in this episode she's interviewing Anne in the kitchen. Tom Sandoval comes out of the gym. He's standing on the landing, the staircase landing, and he's hearing them. And Anne saying how she like wants to work for such an amazing girl boss. And of course Tom Sandoval.

And Anne would want to work for a girl boss. And then Tom Sandoval is like then has a conversation with Anne like saying like, I think we just need a couple days off. Doesn't even fire her anything. And Ariana goes and tells the group like this, you know, attempted murderer, dog murderer is eavesdropping on my conversations. It's like, well, you live in the same. house and you were having a conversation out in the open with his employee like I'm sorry

it's absurd no and oh my god wait that's like really crazy yeah no she and I was surprised in the episodes that I watched there were two events that she went to that he was at yeah well she has to if she wants to stay in the show and it's not fair for her to be pushed out of the show when she didn't commit this crime act of adultery so I'm with her like yeah fuck I have to go and then she gets mad at her friends who invite him and put her in this situation. And I get that on a human level, but on, uh, this is your job. Working. We're making a show here level. Something's got to give. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's, I don't know how it even could. Because say she releases the anger and she moves out of the house. I still never want to see her speak to this person again. And you

have to work with it. How do we go forward with the show? Yeah. Well, also the more I watch, the more I really believe the rumor about the reunion where Lala and Ariana just have like a knockdown, dragout fight because Lala's coming at this from, I think, a similar place as we are, which is just like a little bit more at a glance, you know, and a little bit more sympathetic to everyone, including Ariana, but Ariana's not the only victim here, you know, like, and everybody makes fun of Sheena, but like, I actually really, the Dancing with the Star-Sing, I didn't understand, but I did understand, like, her being sad about her friendship with Sandoval being ruined. But Ariana is right about the fact that Sandoval is definitely using Sheena as like his gateway

to filming and events and Tahoe because the more people who can tolerate him, they don't even have to love him, but the more people who will, Schwartz is tolerating him, Sheena will tolerate him, the more stable he is in his job on the show. Yeah, James will tolerate him. So she's not right about that. And Lala will tolerate him. Ariana's right and the Kashina is sort of like the weakest thing she's so sweet like she's not a mean-spirited person she's yeah a little self-centered but like she loves hard you know yeah no I agree with that it must be incredibly frustrating and I just these are this is like not normal circumstances usually when you exit a relationship you then just move on with your life you don't have to then film a reality show together but so if Ariana like really wanted zero personal ties that she would have to leave the show and why should she she shouldn't no but Sandeval's not leaving so we need to now we're in the place in the show where we need a resolution i think that's how

everyone feels and i keep like putting them it's frustrating now every episode they're trying to put them in the same room and get there and like last night it was so bad like it was oh i can't wait a barrage love it was oh my god like seriously uncomfortable like seriously i just like wish ariana had this energy when she was dating sandball because somebody desperately needed to put him in his place he acted worse with ariana than he does without now he's kind of on this apology honestly nothing he's doing is bothering me before he was a monster with Stasi, remember, and that book event, he was horrible. And she just kind of sat there and like let him act that way.

No, and I said this a few weeks ago, but I keep thinking about it. A few weeks ago, I accidentally watched an episode from last season and I watched a few minutes before I realized I was watching the wrong episode because it was Katie and Ariana in something about her talking about how Lala told Ariana that Sandoval didn't leave the barbecue when he had a ride and he lied about that when she was dealing with her dog and her grandma and he stayed there with Raquel and Ariana was saying to Katie like I don't want to hear these things like like she was mad at Lala for even telling her like no no she was so unreasonable and she was kind of the woat when she was like up sand of all's ass and like never

told him that's what a good partner does like you tell your partner in private like when they're being wrong and encourage them to like do whatever she was just like awful and like not enabled but just did nothing and so now it's like yeah you know what we been knowing and it's like frustrating because now we're over it like and now he's been handed his justice beyond like I I feel fine he's been punished I don't think a person who's cheated has ever been punished in such a way no but he was punished for like that but also in my mind for like the years and years of atrocious behavior agreed like he was knocked down 1,000 pegs yeah no he's like the biggest weenie I don't even know how like anybody could look at him and honestly not feel sorry for him

He has his weenie parties. Oh, wait. I'm so glad you brought that up. That pool party with Billy Lee and her friend. And then those two girls from Instagram, like. And he's like telling them the story. Is there any way anyone in Los Angeles doesn't know who Tom and Ariana are and what happened between them? Not even that.

Like not to be so mean, but like the whole, it was giving like, where did you find these freaks? Like it was just, it was a circus. Like I didn't even know who these people were. like and everyone was just like acting crazy and like taking shots and I was like okay stop like stop also he is flirting oh I was in pain it's really pain but like when you think about like his like romantic aspect of his life it's like he's heartbroken over Raquel who he loves and like she is disappeared and no no it's so crazy this whole thing and he's trying to flirt in the pool and he's saying like yeah

Yeah, I'm murdering my ex-girlfriend in the bedroom upstairs. I crushed potato chips and put them under the door. Oh, yeah. Painful. Seriously painful. Okay. Well, Jackson and Brittany are still, and by the way, I've heard the Valley is very good. I'm not going to watch it.

I watched half of the first episode. I got the gist. And? I feel like you would like it. It's like people who are in, like, your stage of life. I know. I didn't love it, like, any. of the characters yet.

Yeah, I mean, besides Jack's Britney and Kristen, like I'm really not interested in meeting new people. No, but it was. I need to go back to it and remind myself why I didn't finish watching it because there was a reason because I do like, yeah, I love like seeing new mamas, like, you know, got baby here. Like, I love, like, that's so interesting to me. And there were new cast members who looked like interesting people

with like things going on. Just the dialogue was giving cringe. And it was like, we're excited to be on a reality show. and it was giving like old school reality show where we're just like saying stuff because hey we're on a reality show and I'm excited I know it's giving like charity in Dallas and I'm wanting it to work out I feel that yeah they were talking like that yeah that was really the issue

but they have to find their feet and I can't yeah it's hard not every show can be Vanderpump rules like no are you ready for our next story which is one of my favorite stories yes unintentional comedian Kelly Ripa is being hysterical today because was they aired a rerun of her show today because I guess there wasn't a new episode and no one like double checked what the episode was

and in the episode it's from June 2023 she is like begging for an invitation to be on Diddy's Yacht. Oh! I didn't know what you were going to say. Like if they reran the one after like 9-11, I literally didn't know what you were going to say. No, no.

So Kelly and Mark are on vacation this week. They've been re-airing old interviews from live with Kelly and Mark, but it seemed someone wasn't paying attention when they picked out the videotapes because on Tuesday they aired an episode from June 23 in which she fondingly begged for an invitation on Sean Diddy Combs's yacht. Meanwhile, his homes were rated last week as part of what appears to be a sex trafficking investigation. Oops. Wait, I also think it's kind of crazy. Like, by the way, Kelly and Mark, like, take a vacation for sure, that they rerun episodes. It's a topical show. She does like kind of what we do at the top of the show talking about what's going on in the

world news pop culture celebrities like light step and then there's like a guest interview but it's like not the type of show you can re-air we've never re-aired an episode of the toast like that's weird especially not from a year and a half ago like maybe air from last week yeah yeah that's like really like bad programming like care less what else should they do though if they are taking the week off guest co-hosts well yeah that's really hard to program too if you don't have one person who's used to doing it that would be like if we took off and two people just sat in their chairs no but like if we had not us like if she had Ryan come for a week yeah and Ryan had different co-hosts or Michael if she didn't leave it so bad with Michael Shrayhan like if you had like friends of and I feel

like Jerry O'Connell comes on all the time to like replace Mark or someone someone comes on as like when Mark is sick or when Kelly's sick I think they had one of their kids like they have friends of the show who could come in with different co-hosts like I don't know I feel like they should be trying harder for their audience I think this is the standard stuff and we never would have even known if it wasn't just for this, which is so unfortunate. I did not know that they re-ran topical, you know, shows. I don't feel like they ever reraned an episode of Wendy. With her stories.

That's so crazy. That's like so lazy on behalf of cable. Like, do better. Whoa, not to hit him with the do better. No, do better. Like seriously. Jackie, if we took a vacation on our show was owned by ABC, we would literally be like, and we had unlimited resources,

we'd be like, let's get Stasi. and, you know, Taylor Stracker, pay them. Like, yeah. Yeah. And that being said, ABC, we are available for purchase. Merger and acquisition, I'm down. If you could, okay, great question. If you could have any media company, whether it be a streamer, a network, whatever,

purchase the toast and like be the, like, we get to still do the show every day, but then we have access to whatever, you know. Like probably NBC is the most. Yeah. But, you know, Disney, ABC, Hulu, I'm down. Like, if we could have our show, live on something. Like we are exclusive, let's say, to YouTube,

or we're on the YouTube homepage every day, or we're on the Netflix. Where would you want to be? Like any network, streamer, or social media platform? Like, if we're the official daily morning show of... I know people would, like, think we're going to say Bravo or E, but that's small thinking.

No, and ever show on E-flops. No, it's just small potatoes. Like, I want to be worldwide nationwide, nationwide. Yeah. Where is everyone right now? Honestly, everyone's at Max right now. Max is having a moment. Every streamer has like a different moment.

It would be Max and Estes. I would, and by the way, the show would be like the morning Max. Max andistas, yeah. I think Max, that's almost what I was going to say. But also I wouldn't mind being a part of like an Apple or a Roku or Prime

because then they put you in one of everyone's sticks. Devices, yeah. Devices. No, that's good. Honestly, I would take, I would take a Netflix. ever heard of it. Of course, of course. And they are getting into live programming.

Hulu. Hulu. X does a lot of live, like, long-form videos now. I don't want to be on X. You don't want to be there? No one really watches it. It's just like, I don't know. That's not true.

I wouldn't think we'd have, we wouldn't have an engaged community on X. I don't think that's true, but I think you want like a piece of that, you know, Hollywood. Hollywood for sure. Hollywood. Yeah. What about TikTok is their setup for that? No, no, but we would reach the kids, which would be nice, because they need to be spoken to. They do, but like, is it our job?

No, it's not. And I also feel like just part of being a kid is just like being radical, you know? That's true. Like, you, like, I always worry about Gen Z. Like, I see these stats. Like, they're so anti-Semitic. Like, they're insane. But sometimes I just want to chalk it up to them being young and dumb.

Like, that's like Woodstock. You know, all those 16-year-olds are taking dumps in out in the, out in the open and like doing molly and acid and then a few years later like they all got jobs and most of them came back down to her yeah so i feel like i don't know yeah i like to think like these young crazy really dumb kids are just radicalized and they'll come back down to earth but i feel like to a degree yes like when you are young you don't you think you know everything and you don't that's a classic trope but are we getting to a place where it's like more than just the classic trope like it's giving it's definitely a long

youth. It's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah, it feels more than usual, but I hope I like your interpretation of things. Yeah. Just an idea. Any further thoughts? I mean, I did, but like I don't want to get into it.

I feel that. I'm exhausted. Yeah, yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Like, exciting news on a number of levels. Yeah. Nicole Ritchie and Joel Maddins look like kids, Harlow, and Sparrow make their red carpet debut at the premiere of Don't Tell Mom

the babysitters dead last night in Los Angeles. So of course, I had to do a little digging. What is this? They've remade the movie. Nicole Richie is playing Rose. I'm right on top of that, Rose. I'm right on top of that Rose. Oh, wait, so who's playing Christina Applegate?

Who's playing Christina Applegate is Simone Joy Jones. I don't know who that is. Hold on. What a great movie. That movie, like, raised us. And I'm right on top of that, Rose. The poster for the movie, the tagline, let me know when you're ready for it. Yeah.

Respect your elders. You're lying. Wait, I also want to see what Nicole Ritchie's kids look like. I feel like she doesn't really show them. They look like Nicole Ritchie and her husband. Really? I mean, I would hope so. It's crazy when that happens.

But it's really cute. They're literally mini-meas. Oh, mad. The girl is gorgeous. They're mini-mees. The girl is gorgeous. And the guy is literally like a in simple plan. No, like if they ever wanted to make a movie about,

their life and like their, well, I guess they would be brother and sister playing. Never mind. I take back what I said. Oh, and Lionel went to the premiere. So did Sophia. Love.

Oh, how did Sophia look? I don't think she's priggers. Oh, wow, wow. I'm obsessed. I love, Nicole Ritchie is one of my absolute favorite celebrities on the planet. Yeah, no, I know. And so this is very exciting.

Like, we love the movie, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead. And I'm so glad they're remaking it for the younger set but like if you haven't seen it I think you should watch the original first yeah you should not to sound like such a grandma it's Christina Applegate who else is in that movie who's the mom

let me see I'm obsessed here 1991 Sue Ellen I'm obsessed Sue Ellen Sue Ellen is Christina Applegate's character's name and who else is in this movie Nobody I know

Let me see John Yeah you don't know anyone Oh David DeKovine He's literally in everything But that's really it It's so good I'm so excited

I wonder where you could watch it I think I just When I was looking at the background It's BET Exciting only in theaters April 12th Oh and it's in theaters But the backdrop said BET

Yeah BET's original films in Pyrra Binks's production company, Smy's Productions, our executive producer. You're lying that it's called Smy's Productions. She's so iconic. She's so iconic. This is just Tends Across the Board.

Agreed. That's exciting. I loved that movie. Yeah. Our next story, Lizzo is breaking her silence to clarify that she's only quitting negative energy moving forward. So Lizzo said she quit last week. People were like, she quit.

And some people were like, no, I think she's just. like a figure of speech that she's like done with this shit and that's exactly what it was so she shared a lengthy statement on instagram and a video saying i want to make this video because i just need to clarify when i say i quit i mean i quit giving any negative energy attention what i'm not going to quit is the joy of my life which is making music which is connecting with people because i know i'm not alone in a way shape or form am i the only person who is experiencing that negative voice voice that seems to be louder than the positive and then if i can just give one person inspiration blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. I believe her that she didn't mean she was quitting music and that she's just like, I quit. I get it. But for somebody who's, like, quitting negative and toxicity, like she keeps making content about it. Like, I seriously, like, she needs to take a break. Like, she's just in, she was really, really famous for a really long time.

And, like, as always, like, ability is a prison and yada, yada. And then she was accused of some pretty heinous things. So people, we just need a break from you. And she doesn't go away. Like, she keeps posting. and she's trying to like elicit sympathy, I think, and it's just not working. So just, I feel like it's always good

for celebrities to take a break, but she, like, won't. Or she's taking a break. I feel like she might be just like scaling back, but not gone, because I think it would also be like kind of an admission of guilt to go. And she's maintaining her innocence

that these people, like she said in the last statement, piss, or saying things about her. So I think she kind of needs to like stay, making content while also like staying positive and I don't think it's going so well yet but I think maybe like starting today it's going to be good okay I think they I quit through everyone through a loop not me though not me not me I knew she was quitting negative energy and haters I just knew it yeah it's like a child I quit I had just seen the news headlines before I saw her statement so everybody said Lizzo quits music I'm like okay Lizzo's quitting music yeah yeah yeah no you got to go to the primary

source clod. This is what they teach us in a history major. I learned like that's what I've got out of my education. And that's what we were talking about yesterday, reading comprehension. And also reading between the lines. Harder but important. Harder but important. She did say I quit. She did. But there was more there there. Yeah. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Our fifth and final story was some news that was quiet that I think they'll be mad that we're blowing up. But J-Lo quietly rebranded her tour as a greatest hit show amid week ticket sales. After canceling seven dates of her first North American tour in five years in week ticket sales, J-Lo has renamed it to apparently broaden its scope, changing it from the This Is Me Now to

to This Is Me Live, the Greatest Hits. So I don't know if prior to this she was planning on playing the greatest hits or if this was going to be a new album tour. It's giving it. It was going to be, and now it's not. Or maybe it was going to be and they didn't put it in the title and they thought people wouldn't know.

I can't imagine J-Lo would go on tour and not spend at least half the show playing her greatest hits. Yeah, I think she would have played a lot of hits. I think she also would have been marketing the new album. I think now there will be more hits and less albums. Still album. We're still going to, this is me now, but like generally majority hits.

Like I really feel this is a very good step. I've been following, you know, the rise and fall of J-Lo over the last couple. of months very, very closely. I think it's one of the most interesting things. I just don't know why I find it so intriguing. And I happen to think this is a brilliant next step. And it gives me hope that whatever direction her career is going to go next is more to this icon level. I don't know why she's still doing the same thing like Ariana Grande is doing, you know, who has way less experience in her. J-Lo's been around forever. Like she should not be doing the same sort of

prototype is like, you know, releasing an album, press tour, arena tour, like the same cycle, like the one direction cycle, like what are you doing? You're not in the same strategy. Like, get off the ride. You have to act differently. Get off the roller coaster. Like, you are different. And you're very much, I feel like, in the Celine Dion realm, which is an equally good realm to be in. Now, you don't have to go to Vegas and do like a boring residency. But you do have to act different. And so the fact that they're not branding this as great as hits does give me hope that they're seeing her career whoever's running her but I feel like it's actually her but whether it's her management they're seeing her now as in this different category not retirement but icon that's a better

yeah that works for me all of a sudden this concert sounds good like we're going to hear the jalo hits right and jalo's known for being such a performer the fact that her performances were not selling well when I think that's probably her biggest strength as a talent Strength and allure is very concerning. So I wouldn't buy a ticket, but if somebody said want to see J-Lo, here's a ticket. I'd say honestly, yeah. I know most of the songs if it's the greatest hits tour.

And she's a fabulous performer, the dancing, the singing, everything. Razzle-dazzle. The hair, the clothes. She knows how to perform. Yeah, this is sort of like an issue with, like, touring albums. It's like, I want to hear, like, general things. Like, what if it's not my favorite album and I didn't get to see you on the last album tour? But I'm seeing, that's why the Erez tour is really great.

It's like it doesn't matter what I feel like it's also very, very artist dependent. Because like I think of, because the next concert I'm going to see is Morgan Wallen. And I didn't go last time, but he did a big, big, like I had my chance. He did a big ass tour for his last album and his last album was enormously popular. This time, after doing like the most with the previous album, he's now doing the most again with the new album and you know what i feel like that's fair but it just depends on the artist like if your most recent album was a flop but you have like tons and tons of hits like do both for sure but i just think of like luke holmes like i absolutely need to hear this album live

and if i don't make it on this tour like i will have missed my chance and yeah the next tour like he'll play some of this but i need this album yeah yeah so i'm i guess i'm going to jacksonville jackson turdy and jacksonville i'm down jackson turdyville Yeah, no, like that's, I guess, what I need to do because his tour is just, he said he's like, he really didn't consider me, honestly, and it's fucking rude. But, by the way, back to what you were saying, it's completely artist dependent and album dependent.

Yeah. But you feel that way about tailored before Eros, like you didn't get to see the Red Tour and like how badly you want to see the Red Tour. I know. It's just a necessary evil. Like, it just is what it is. But maybe.

Erist tour is like really shaking up the industry. Like people are seeing like, oh, oh, you know, like maybe I can do this. Like, yeah. But I also think maybe some people don't want to work that hard. It's a lot of work what she's doing. By the way. Do you think they even remember all the lyrics to all their old songs? That's like some artists talk about how they don't.

Joe Jonas talks very openly that even recent songs, like he cannot remember the lyrics. And I know Miley a lot of times has a teleprompter. You actually, you know lyrics and memorize them really well, but I could see. you being the sort of person like if you were a pop star like yeah no i wrote my song but i don't remember the lyrics okay sue me okay when i was in st barts um we got back to the house and like we were drunk and we were like making snacks and somebody put on music and 100% came on and like i literally didn't know the words to the second verse but i was also really drunk i feel like that's a part of the era store like the whole thing is so impressive but that's like on the list of impressive

things that i don't think she gets enough credit for and her lyrics are so erinscher kit and especially, I'm going down. I'm hell and timber. Don't disgrace that song. It's the best song ever. Also, by the way, it's even more impressive when you think about the fact that she'll literally go on the acoustic set and play a song from 17 years ago. That's the most deep cut that she's probably never even played live.

She probably released it and never played it again. Cold as you. I think she has such a good memory and that's probably why she has a hard time letting things go because like they're so seared into her memory. You know what? what the Lord giveeth the Lord take it the way it's a blessing and a curse yeah like she remembers it like it was yesterday because her memory is so strong that reminds me of Dana yeah and I also think she's a person of high intellect and I think memory has like is a part of that you know even though

they say people with bad memories are high intellect but maybe that was just like something they told you guys me searching for a headline that related to me yeah no it's giving Dana Dana would be a great pop star because she'd remember all of her lyrics but she'd also be a bad pop star for 45,000 other reasons. One thousand million reasons. Mostly that she can't sing. She dances like, um, like she's playing charades. Like, we bought a house. Like, you know, I'm yelling timber. Yay. You better move. You better dance. That's so funny. That's funny. Yeah. And she would admit it. Like it's a point of pride for her. Yeah. Oh, well, what's so fabulous is that the stories were great. Really, Jackie?

10 out of 10. I enjoyed them so much. Thank you, but I really think we made the most out of them. It was us doing what we do best. And what we do best is really help people. I think that's fair to say. And Wednesdays are extremely helpful day here at the Toast because this is Dear Toaster's Day.

Shut up. Today, it's only okay when you do it. Yeah. Today's Deer Toasters Day, our weekly advice segment where you girls will write in and we'll do our absolute best to help you. We got three submissions every week. You can submit Deertoasters at gmail. write us an email, or if you want to be super, super anonymous, head to thetoastpodcast.com.

Scroll down, there's a little submission box, no name required, nothing. Today we have an update and two submissions. The first update is from the girl who wrote in about taking her husband's last name when her husband's last name was duty. And we understood, you know, and by the way, we had gotten a lot of feedback from that episode because we had said to each other, we gave her advice, but then we were also like, what kind of last name is that? Like, I've never heard that.

And a lot of people wrote in, like, it's really a popular name in the same. South. Like, it's a thing. We didn't know about it. But we had encouraged her to speak her mind, maybe do some sort of hyphen, some, you know, new name, like Ellis Island. Like Kaylin and Dean. Ellis Island. Wait, what did you say? Kalin and Dean. Oh, Kaylin and Dean. Kaylin Miller Keys married Dean Unglert and they both changed their last names to Bell, which is Kalin's mother's maiden name. Because that's what they related to most and wanted to. I thought you said Kayla, and you just reminded me, we had spoken at length on April Fool's. Like, we were so curious if anyone was going to, you know, make the April Fool's joke,

I'm pregnant because it's something people do every year and they always get canceled for it. And people never learn. This year was no different. Thank you to everyone who sent me on TikTok. You know Travis Kelsey's ex-girlfriend, Kayla and Nicole, who's like an influencer? And she's like always in the news for like Shade and Taylor. She's pregnant. I love that she was the one.

I couldn't have picked a better person. I agree. I love that for her. Like, I think it's so great. and God's feet. Seriously. And yeah.

Just. Okay. Our first tier toasters is from that girl. She's obviously not a toaster. No. Duty update. I was the girl who's getting married to the Pijam whose last name is duty.

I honestly wanted to create a completely new name, a combination of both. Alas, everyone in my fiancee's family wears the duty moniker with such pride that they were actually a bit hurt when they found out my true feelings. After realizing how much it meant, I have conceded to using the name personally. So Christmas cards, meeting new people socially, but professionally and legal purposes,

I am keeping my own name, XOXO, Mrs. Dutie. I just want to say. That's big of you. I went through like an emotional roller coaster reading this. Like, of course at first we have to circumvent duty. But then you say like this family is a proud family. And like to go. And then you like took your like second grade humor to them.

You like, it's duty. Like I feel embarrassed. I'm like, of course you should be a proud duty. and I also feel like nothing like if you own something like there's nothing cooler than that like if you just like that's true if you are so confident and like I could forget the meaning of the word so by the end of this I was like I could see I could be rooting for Mrs. Duty I like in general like you have your family name and then you have your professional name so that works for me yeah but I do think I don't remember what our advice was then but my advice now would be to

kind of reframe it in your head and like to find the joy and the duty. I just want to say, I do feel like the family could have been a little bit more understanding. Like it is a piece of poop. Like you're not being a child. Like words have meaning. And so for them to just be straight up offended and not being like, yeah, no, when I married and I also felt like if somebody could commisry a little bit that be, but be real to the family but also her, like be mature.

Yes. No, no. I actually think this is a very, very. mature way for you to move forward. Honestly, I don't know if I could ever be that mature because like duty is duty. And also, I'm a duty person. We talk about all the time.

Not everybody uses the word duty to describe poop. A lot of families have their own words. Like duty is our family's word. Like I have to make a duty. There was duty on the floor. Romeo made a duty. Like duty is our word of choice. It means a lot to us.

Yeah, but for other people, it's like, oh yeah, that is a meaning of that, you know, hopefully that's what it is for you. but I just, the best advice he could give, own it. Just own it. Yeah. We're with pride. Okay, our next one is so crazy.

Hello. My husband and I just got married this past September. I was talking to him randomly this week about how we should look at cemetery plots together. And he said that he already has one that his mom got for him when he was 15. Mind you, it's in his hometown, which is the town we went to college in and where we met. We do not live there anymore and I would really rather not be buried there. I said, well, if I die first, I can be cremated and just placed in your plot. lot. And he went on to say how he doesn't believe in cremation. I said, well, we just have to be

buried next to each other then. Please help a girl figure out and how to get on the same page with my husband about where and how we're buried. Okay. I don't know what like the textbook like healthy and right time to talk about this is. I've not even thought about it. And the few times that I have thought about it, like it is confounding. Yeah, it's confounding. Yeah, it's confounding because it's like one of the husband or wife like isn't going to be buried with their parents because you'll be buried with your in-laws and then your kids might not be with you because they're with their I don't like it I I don't know what the answer is I don't like it either it's wrong like but I find peace in my religion which is really puts very little emphasis on the physical body

um they really say and I remember at a funeral hearing this from the rabbi and it actually weirdly brought me great comfort that like this is a shell the person is not there they Jewish afterlife spends a lot of emphasis on your Nishama, which is your soul, and your soul is with you. So I don't, I really try to hang on to that because if you think a lot about, you're right, maybe my kids won't be with me, and maybe I won't be with my family,

maybe I'll be with Ben's, or Ben won't be with his. Like, it's bullshit. So I try not to think about it, and I try to really lean on my faith, honestly. Yeah, no, and I think it like sounds weird and feels weird, like, to the living, but then, like, to the dead, it's irrelevant.

and think about how often we, like, never even visit. I know. We've literally visited our dad twice. And it's only like when we're in the neighborhood. Which is never. So, yeah, I, I, it helps to not be attached to that as an idea. But it is, it's really weird. And I don't know, like, what is Emily Post, like, etiquette for when you talk about it?

And what do most people do? Like, is there, oh, we're always go with the mom's family or the dad's, like, I don't know why I happen to think you always go with the wife. But I also think it has to do, well, yes, people buy their plots in advance, but it kind of has to do with like where you die. Where you live and where you live. But like you might like retire somewhere different from where you were spending your whole life. Right.

That's why like a lot of our grandparents who are from New York are buried in Florida because that's where everyone goes to retire. So it's, I have no advice for you. And it's something I've put off thinking about. I don't even, like, it's not like I actively put it off. I just like, I don't even worry about it. The thing is, I don't, I want to say like I don't care. I have to imagine that, like, God forbid, you know,

in a million years when I die, the people around me who know and love me will advocate for the best place for me to go, given, you know, where others are. Wait, stop, I'm literally going to cry. Are we not going to be buried together? That's what I'm saying. Because, like, you're going to be with your family. That's why we should, like, you know what we should do. Like, we should buy a family law.

Yeah, like, right now and, like, kind of. take, get it taken care of. Also, like, who knows what our financial circumstances are going to be in the future? Like, when you feel, I guess that's why people have the conversations. Like, if you have the money at this point, buy it now, so you save your family the trouble later. It just feels like a, like, a lot of sturm and draying and, like, drama and turmoil. For a dead body. For something that's, like, not, hopefully, God willing, like, just not important right now.

And that's why I really could argue important ever. Right. When I go to a cemetery and I see the people with a huge mausoleums that you can literally walk into. It's like to me that's a waste of money. Like I guess maybe it's faith-based. I was going to say different religions like have a different idea of it. So I'm not going to yuck anyone's yums. But I like that ours like de-emphasizes it because it's giving willy-nilly.

And also I like that you don't have to go visit to feel connected to that person. Because in Judaism that person's always with you. Yeah. But like thanks for bringing this up. Yeah, we have no advice. Sound off in the comments if anybody has any help of tips. This is kind of like a miserable conversation. And it like makes me sad that like this is the conversations you're having with your new husband.

Right. Less than a year. Like stop having these conversations. My tip is to like seriously drop it. I agree. Like the chips fall where they may. And just if being cremated is like really, really important to you like make a will. Important to him, I thought.

No, he doesn't want. He doesn't believe it. Okay. Just drop it seriously. No, but also like if you. diapers and you want to be cremated and your husband doesn't believe in it and he won't do it. If you have a will, he legally has to. So put it into the will. And then, and you know, every woman should have a will. Every person. Every woman. Uh, just stop talking

about this. Seriously. It's harmful to your relationship. Okay. Our third and final is very topical and it's like really unfortunate. It's, it's an April Fool's joke gone really wrong. My sister and I are longtime toasters. We love you swirlies. We decided to pull an April Fool's joke on my boyfriend and it completely backfired. We've been dating for six months. We're in a happy relationship. We talk about the future and getting married and I'm really certain that he's my person. He was at the gym and we had told him that we were next door at Whole Foods grocery shopping. As we pulled in, I saw his car and we thought it would be funny given it being April Fool's Day to pull a little joke. We wrote and left him a note on his windshield saying,

hey, I think you're really cute. I see you at the gym all the time. Text me. And we gave a fake text number from the text plus app. He did it. He said, hey, I believe you left the note on my car. Very confident. Much respect. I was shocked. and I called him about an hour later after seeing him respond to the app. I didn't respond in the app and keep the conversation going because the point of the joke

wasn't supposed to be to try to catch him. When confronting him about the text response, he got defensive saying he didn't think what he said was wrong and got pissed off because he thought we were setting him up for a test. Thoughts, do I have a right to be upset? Does he have a right to be upset?

You sound seriously like a battered woman. You absolutely have to break up with this man. He didn't even know what the person looked like and he sent them a text. Like, he could have been a man. Like, I want to say, But it's also, like, insane that you did that. Oh, for sure.

But wait. The fact that you're writing in being like, does he have a right to be upset? Are you okay? Break up with him. He will cheat on you. He probably has. But like.

Bad prank. But you know what? Bad prank. God's looking out for you. Like, you might not have never noticed because you seem to be under his spell. Yeah. But some.

This man's a horrible boyfriend. Yeah. break up with him now now this last thought do i have a right to be upset does he have a right to be upset are you okay like i'm really worried about you to answer your question does he have a right to be upset no do you have a right to be upset yeah you should break up with him my goodness this is such a weird story like i seriously like i'm uncomfortable and i just like and of course like he obviously failed the test and it's actually a good lesson like you ever need to test your man to see if he's loyal if you feel like he goes to the gym and like creeps on girls yeah do this

but this girl wasn't even coming from i know which it's like and it is good to know like if he is a scoundrel like it's good that you know now but seriously like what are you do it's entrapment like what did you no it's a crazy crazy thing to do especially to your boyfriend of like six months who still might be in this phase of like seeing what else is like of keeping an eye open like I'm not committed. No. I think that like, if there, a six months isn't like the most serious relationship, your newly boyfriend girlfriend.

Yeah, but if you can't, if you can't even stay monogamous at six months, like if he's still keeping his options open, then he's not serious about you. Yeah, you guys aren't serious yet. You wrote in the email, we're talking about the future, we talk about getting married, we are serious. That's what she wrote. Yeah. Absolutely run for the fucking hills.

Like, Zach did this happen? And Zach, like, yeah, I would have totally broken up with him, but at six months of dating, we were very serious. That's what she said to. Get rid of him. And I want an update. Seriously, don't, do not run away from me. That's our show.

Again, if you want to write in, that's dear toasters at gmail.com or head to the toastpodcast. com. Thank you so much for listening to The Toastin Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories. You need to know every Monday through Friday and YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube. Please don't be subscribing.

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have an amazing day and we'll see you tomorrow. Love you. Love ya. Bye. Bye.