The Toast - Toast Herstory: Sharks Don't Speak English (Original Airdate July 16, 2021)

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

Watch the original episode here on YouTubeMachine Gun Kelly had a Megan Fox poster in his bedroom as a teen (Page Six) (10:18)Kyle Richards and Betsy Brandt to Star in Real Housewives of the North Pole Movie for Peacock (PEOPLE) (14:00)Mark Wahlberg Regrets Going on 11,000-Calorie Diet to Quickly Gain Weight for His New Movie (E! News) (20:38)Blue Origin's Flight Will Include The Youngest And The Oldest Humans To Go To Space (NPR) (25:55)Shark advocates call for rebranding violent attacks as 'interactions' (NY Post) (31:30)Love Island Recap (37:50)The Morning Toast with Claudia (@girlwithnojob) and Jackie Oshry (@jackieoshry)The Toast Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/thetoast  Merch:https://www.shoptoastmerch.comLean In:https://www.flow.page/leaninThe Camper & The Counselor:https://www.thecamperandthecounselor.comGirl With No Job by Claudia Oshry:https://www.girlwithnojob.com/bookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the morning toast. It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Oh my God. It's Friday. It's so exciting. It's so beautiful. I love to see. You're not dressed like it's a Friday. Well, if I may. We have an unspoken rule here that Friday is like merch sweat panty. It's when you show up looking like snack. Karen from finance it's not nice thank you so much for that compliment calling me snatch it's so nice so he if I may can I understand can I tell you my logic yeah of course all week I dressed like it was Friday like sweats merch just like really brought nothing to the show and I've never loved you more okay but this is my last show for about 10 days yeah and I really didn't want the last thumbnail to be like me in a grout fit again I wanted to leave them on a high note and so I just felt like and also like for myself like when I wear sweats that many days

in a row. I'm like, do my other clothes still fit me? So I just needed to, like, get into some real clothes. And I have a busy weekend where I'm going to be, like, dressing up all weekend. And so I was like, I might as well get the ball rolling now and, like, put on something with a zipper. And so here I am. And also, even though this outfit, like, looks so fancy and fabulous, it's actually really comfortable. Sure, yeah, so it's mine. It's really comfortable. I'm wearing the toast, went spring. And I, and I shaved my legs and put on a little self-tanner, so I thought the gams needed a day out. The gams need a day out.

Have you switched to Isle of Paradise yet? No, I haven't. I used Santropay last night, and it's pretty good. It makes me, like, a little, like, green, yellow. Yeah, it's, honestly, it's not the right fit for us, I'm telling you. I'm not sure that it was, but I also bought, like, a spray bottle that's, like, like, that I have never used. I bought it. I was influenced by an influencer, and she also has red hair, so I was like, okay, maybe

this will work for my coloring, too. Which one? Sophia LeCourt. Oh, my God. We're obsessed. So she's like a tick, where'd you buy it on it? Do you follow her on Instagram? I follow her on Instagram. Oh, I only follow her on TikTok. Yeah, no, I'm so thoroughly influenced by her. So I bought it, but I still never used it

because every time I've gone to use it, I'm like, what if I do it wrong? And then I have like a wedding. So I need to use it like on a boring week, but it hasn't happened yet. Speaking of Sophia LaCourt, what was that Redhead's book by Renee Carlino between two strangers? Before we were strangers. Before we were strangers. And the main girl is a girl named Grace who has red hair, right? I thought she had blonde hair, but sometimes those things can translate differently for people. Well, whatever. I imagined when I was reading the book and I was very like into it the whole time I thought of the main girl Grace as Sophia LaCore, because I had like just started seeing her on TikTok and she was like in my brain. And now I just have like

association between the two. That's really funny. Yeah. I just want to tell you really quickly about my night because I just did like so many things, you know. I went to comedy seller, which was so premium. Like, you know, usually you go see a comedy show like some comedians are better than others. Like this was just like sickening lineup. But I guess that's like the point of comedy seller. It's like a premium premier. Crembe de la creme. So like cream, that means cream. Every single comic was better than the next. Like it was so hysterical. Like I was actually like belly laughing. And it was, first of all, they take your phones when you end like your Apple watches when you walk in. So at first I was like a little annoyed, like crazy anxiety. I was like,

oh my God, what if I get canceled? Like I just like something about not being on my phone just gives me terrible anxiety. But once I was able to let that go, it was so premium for a million reasons. like, you know, we operate very much in the digital space, which is this, like, you know, sensitive, politically correct safe space, at least our corner of it. And just to hear people, like, making crazy fucking jokes, like about everything was so refreshing. I forgot that people talk that way. Like, because we, like, we just don't joke like that. And it was so refreshing.

And I was just, like, cackling the whole time. And it was like a whole, it, like, refreshed my brain that, like, you can joke about stuff. and it was so delightful and I loved the premise of no one having their phones like it was just really safe like for the comics and it was just so premium and I just I can't recommend going to comedy seller enough like and I guess it goes like all the time

okay gotta go a lot and it's so premium like I had been a million years ago because it's by NYU and they had like a really small club and now they have like multiple locations and I went to like one of the big ones with like air conditioning and it was like so premium and like it had like a million drinks mozzarella sticks like really premium

can't recommend if you're looking for something fun to do in New York premium. I hadn't heard... No, I think we're thankful for your recommendation. No, I know. Everyone knows that. Everyone's, like, been knowing this. Also, a lot of times, like, comics will... Well-known, like, A-List comics show up there to try out new material. Like, Amy Schumer's always spotted.

So Dana literally waits outside comedy seller every night until she can go and see Amy Schumer and she's actually gotten to see her. Yeah, I mean, I guess the point, most people go, of course, for the show, but, like, hoping that a celebrity is just going to, like, stop by. And I was, like, really hoping, like, Dave Chappelle are, like, when they took our phones, I was like, do they do this every night? Or is someone special coming? And Pete Davidson is, like, very strict about phones at his show.

So I was the whole time I was waiting for Pete Davidson, who never showed up. But the show was so good. Like, I actually did not mind. Yeah. Premium experience. So I know everyone knows that, but I just never go downtown. That's nice that you know it now. Yeah, it was so fabulous.

Like, I want to go again. You should. And the air conditioning. Like, I just can't stress how high-powered and voluminous it was. That's amazing. And then I, like, had a night on the town. And I really am proud of myself because it's a Friday. And I'm not hung over.

You know, it's a Friday. We saw your stories last night. I was like, hey, Claudia's going out, and she's going out again and more and more. And I was like, okay, so it's a hungover show and I'm wearing a pussy bow. It is what it is. Yeah. But look at you. No, first of all, I got home at like 12 because comedy seller was like 8 to 10,

and then we had dinner and drinks from like 10 to 1130. And it was just like a civilized adult night. Like not, I guess I'm realizing this now. Like not every night has to be like blacked out until the break of dawn. It sounds like last night was the night of realizing stuff for you. It was because I still had fun and I was so happy to be home by 12. Yeah, and like to go to sleep without the spins. Without the spins.

And I woke up feeling completely fine. Claudia, that's beautiful. I would love to eventually get to a place where my partying and my work life can sustain each other. Yeah, there's no reason why they should constantly be in conflict. They're constantly battling one another

and it's so toxic for my mental health. Well, I'm glad that there was a detente last night and that you can give us, date haunt is like peace ceasefire. God, yeah, there was a ceasefire for sure. And that you can give us full Claudia today. Yeah, no, I'm thrilled to be alive on a Friday. It's nice.

It's beautiful these Fridays. The whole weekends ahead of you. Yeah. Beautiful stuff. I have such a busy weekend, like I said. So we're here. We got to do what we got to do. We got to do what we got to do.

And other, I actually had a really busy day yesterday of all the errands. I've been putting off like manicure, pedicure, like wax, et cetera. So I was just errands, errands, errands. Meetings, meetings, meetings. Podcast, podcast, podcast. So we're going to do what we do best and we're going to podcast for you on this stunning, so hot Friday, even though I'm still wearing a sweatshirt. Don't ask me why.

It's still cold in the studio. Not as cold as it's been. It's as if someone here watches our show and saw us struggling. Well, if you're watching the show, we don't agree on the air conditioning thing. This is a perfect temperature. Put the air conditioning back on working. This is a perfect temperature. It's a little hot.

You can wear shorts and they're not meeting a blanket. It's a little hot. Perfect temperature. It's just funny. And you're wearing a sweatshirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A form-fitting sweatshirt, so that never helps. Yeah.

So let's dive in because we've got a... We don't have a lot to talk about because, like we said, well, we actually didn't say it. We said it before the show. There's true Slim Pickens. Tell us about your experience trying to choose. Today was one of those days where I went through all the sites and I was still at zero stories.

Wow. So I had to go through them all again. And I had to go to like the reserve sites. And you know what? You are going to get some interesting world news. But I know you guys love to hear it, especially on a Friday when you're going out to embark on a weekend. You might meet new people.

Maybe you guys need to talk about Jeff Bezos going to space. Maybe you need some interesting factors about it. Maybe. Maybe you're going to be at a wedding and you're going to be like, you know, a far off friend who gets seated. at a table with people you don't know you've never met and you need something to talk to talk about and you'll be so grateful you listen to this random ass episode of the toes right and you're going to be like what do you think about shark attacks and right now that doesn't mean anything to you

but in 45 minutes you're going to have a whole new opinion on that yeah and you know what after coming from comedy seller I have this whole new vibe like I'm ready to offend people and I think the shark community is going to be my first target because I've been inspired by the brave comedians who fought for our right to joke about whatever we want to joke about and I'm feeling all revved up. Like, I want to be like a crazy, offensive comedian today. Okay, cool. That's exciting for all of us. So fuck you all and your pit bulls. No, I'm kidding. I'm just going to. She can't handle it. I can't. I was 100% kidding. Like, please don't come from me. Okay, cool. Now I think, without further, do-da-do-do where are you right here being perfect. It is time for the fast five

stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast. Today's episode of the toast and toast terstery is brought to you by everyday dose. Do you love your coffee routine, but you don't like the way it makes you feel. If you're looking for a solution, we'll try everyday dose. They have the classic coffee tastes that you love without the nasty side effects, plus added benefits. There's no crash and there's no jitters. So everyday dose offers coffee that does more. Coffee Plus features 100% arabic coffee, enhanced with functional ingredients for smooth energy, calm focus, gut health, and skin support. That means there's no crash, there's no jitters. The all-in-one coffee makes you feel as good as it tastes. It

comes in two varieties, which is the mild roast, it's smooth, it's light-bodied and has 45 milligrams of caffeine, or the medium roast. It's rich and full-bodied with 90 milligrams of caffeine. They both feature 100% Arabica coffee. It's enhanced with functional ingredients for a smoother, more focused energy boost. Ingredients undergo third-party testing to ensure purity and potency, free from mold, rich inactive compounds. A lot of people are trying to like up their caffeine game and not just deal with like that early after you even crash. It helps you for an hour or two, but then you feel like crap by the end of the day. And coffee plus from everyday dose is super popular. And very exciting news, you can now find everyday dose in

target stores across the country. Celebrate with a buy one, get one deal. Just buy any two everyday dose products at a target store near you, and they will pay you back for one. Go to everydaydose.com slash the toast for more details. That's everyday, E-V-E-R-Y, D-A-Y-D-O-S-E-O-S-E.com slash the toast. Again, that's visit Everydaydose.com slash the toast. For those details, celebrate with a buy-one, get-one deal, buy two everyday dose products at a target store near you and they will pay you back. Thank you, Everditos, for sponsoring today's episode and enjoy the rest of the episode. Okay, first story, you know, we'll hit you with some mindless celebrity news. Machine Gun Kelly had a Megan Fox poster in his bedroom as a teen. Oh, that's cute. Isn't that

cute? The rapper, now 31, had a poster of Fox, now 35, hanging in his bedroom as a teenager years before the pair ended up dating. He said it was from her GQ shoot, so that's some full circle shit, as now they are very much in love and together. Yeah, I get said so crazy. That's kind of like how, well, they're not dating, but like Billy Elish is like a comrade of Justin Bieber when like her whole early childhood was devoted to standing Justin Bieber. Yeah. You love to see people living out their dreams. To me, it reminds me of the story of Jason Mamoa and Lisa Bona. Mama. Mama. When he saw her on TV and he said, and he literally pointed to her on the TV. He was a young child and he said, he turned to his mom and he pointed to Lisa on the television

was like, Mama, I'm going to marry her, which is kind of weird, just how old was Lisa? She was on the Cosby show, right? Yeah, and she's older than him. Right, no, of course. So, like, I just want to know how old he was when he was fantasizing. You know, it's just like age is so weird, you know? Yeah, it is weird when you think of things in those terms, but it could also be cute, and in this situation, I think it's cute. If you ever heard Jason Memoa tell the story about, like, him looking at the TV, Google it.

It's so funny, because all I took away from it was, Mama. And if you've been listening to the show long enough, you know that that's a morning breath joke. You know that that sent us. I just want to, like, I'm so confused on who our audience is actually, because we have so many toasters who are new. We have so many OG toasters who fall off the wagon? Like, who are the toasters right now? Do you guys know that mama joke?

The toasts. Because I could start recycling jokes making them like they're new, you know? Right. No. First of all, the toasters are revolving door. Literally. And I do feel like so many listeners have been with us since day one. But I don't want to exclude those new ones by making old.

I also think that so many are constantly discovering us because we'll get comments like, what's R.D.H. Like, that's not even that old. So, you know, I think the toast is really for everyone. It's ubiquitous. So if you're an OG toaster, apologies for the redundancy, I just think that's a really good inside joke. We need to bring back.

Yeah, I agree. We use so many inside jokes. So many. Justice for the girls. I know. Apparently, someone reminded us that's what we used to wish for at 1111. Right. Justice for the girls.

In reference specifically to Art Kelly. Justice for the girls. those girls. But justice for like all the girls. Justice for girls everywhere. Agreed. Okay, so he had a picture. Wait, who were we talking about? Oh, Machine Gun Kelly. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that actually tracks just like timeline-wise.

I feel like every guy who like grew up in the 90s or early 2000s had a big ass poster of like Megan Foxx because she was the, the it gal. 2000s. Yeah, what did I say 90s? Yeah, 2000s. I feel like I've been in bedrooms like where there was a Megan Fox poster. Yeah, for sure. She's definitely like a poster girl.

What a poster did you have? Oh, you had a Backstreet Boys poster. I did. It was very cool and like... It was like not even a poster. It was like a silk. It was like a silky material. Like it wasn't like something that you wear from magazine. It was like it was gifted to me where it like rolled down. Yeah, it's like a parchment. It was like honestly like a piece of art. Yeah. Olivia had the same one for Insync. And if you want to hear about the Osray family childhood battle between Insync and Backstree Boys, which is a lot more fascinating than you might think, read about it in my New York Times bestselling book, Girl with No Job, The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster. Yeah.

Jackie O approved. She read it four times. Three. Sorry. I just, because I said this week I brought it three times that like people would like. So you haven't read it one more time since we last spoke? That's disgusting. I haven't had a lot of time.

I'm sorry. That's disgusting. Are you ready for our next story, which is some cute, exciting news? Some CES, yeah. Yeah. Kyle Richards will be starring in a movie for Peacock called the Real Housewives of the North Pole. Oh, I didn't know that that's what it was called. I just read the headline that she was doing like a Hallmark holiday.

movie. And I'm like, oh, cute, perfect for, like, her level of acting. Called the Real Housewives of the North Pole, which is actually, like, even more perfect, but a little confusing. Yeah, because now I'm not thinking it's going to be like a, you know, a Hallmark Holiday movie. It's going to be like a parody, no? Well, no, I don't think it's going to be a parody. I think it's going to be a Hallmark Holiday movie about, I don't know. It's really... And who are the other Housewives, cast as?

The only other cast member announces Betsy Brandt. Yes, I saw that on Kyle's Instagram, and I do not know who she is. Me neither, but Peacock announced on Thursday that an original film titled The Real Housewives of the North Pole will arrive on the streaming service later this year. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills vet, Kyle Richards, will star in the project alongside Breaking Bad alum Betsy Brand. Who'd she play in Breaking Bad? Do you recognize this woman? Kind of. Breaking Bad was so long ago. No, honestly, I've literally never met that woman in my life. Okay, well, you're about to.

Yeah, can you tell me who she played? Sure. Marie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The DEA agents have. husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I never watch it. Oh, my God, she was so annoying. Well, hopefully. You never watch Breaking Bad? I think you've spoken about this. We have spoken about it. And it's honestly not even on my content plate. I have a really kind of hot take for you when it comes to Peacock. In, you know, the wars of

streaming, peacock is like shitting the bed. Like, they're not doing anything even remotely remarkable, except for the Real Housewives All-Stars, which hasn't even come out yet. And I just feel like every time we hear something like that they're doing, I'm just not into it. And also, I have every streaming service. I don't even know if I have Peacke's download it on my Apple TV and if I do I never open it except one time when I was with Olivia we watched at her house we watched NYC prep that was premium they have a pretty good backlog catalog Bethany ever after and when I did watch down to Nabi I'm pretty sure it was on Peacock even though it is now on Netflix definitely check it out here's a little by the all the

as of like last week all of the Twilight films are now on Netflix and I bought them on Amazon Prime so like it doesn't really affect me happy to support the franchise though so exciting and you know if it's reaching new people that's just so beautiful for like we're always welcoming new stands here There's a little descriptor of the movie. In the upcoming film, Richards and Brands stars Trish and Diana, aka the Christmas Queens of North Pole, Vermont. Okay, so they're not like Santa's elves.

Okay, okay. That's important to clarify. It is. The Christmas queens of North Pole, Vermont, Trish and Diana, have won the best holiday house decorating competition every year for the past nine years. It sounds so good. But days before Christmas, a friendship-ending argument sparks a town-wide feud and draws the attention of a national magazine writer,

hoping to make a name for herself with her scintillating expose titled The Real Housewives of the North Pole. Okay, this sounds stunning. Stunning, Oscar-worthy. So they obviously have like a battle. They both will decorate their home separately. Tribeca Film Festival is quaking. Sundance, Cannes, Toronto, Tith.

They're all calling, saying we want this film. It sounds so good. Venice. Okay, I take back, maybe Peacock is on to something. Maybe Peacock is onto something. I mean, you really can't go wrong with a great Christmas movie premise. And then to have this, like, Housewives tie-in makes it uniquely Peacock. Uniquely Peacock.

No one else could. Unique luck. No one else could. This actually does not sound bad. It does not sound bad. I'm excited for Kyle. I haven't really seen Kyle act in anything. Except on this week's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when they did the flashback to Little House on the prairie.

I'm not going to lie. I was quaking. Yeah. I was shook. Yeah. My bed was just rocking. Yeah, so was hers. Literally, because she had Scarlet Fever.

So, I don't think I've ever seen her act in anything. So she wasn't acting an American woman, right? She was producing. No, she was producing. And I never saw her remake. A trip to Witch Mountain or. No, that was when she was still a kid. Yeah.

She also did that. What's that scary movie that's, like, really famous that she's in with Mike Myers and Jamie Lee Curtis? Halloween. They redid it too. Never saw it either, so. Okay, so this will be the first. definitely going to watch us and you know what I'm not trying to like jump to any conclusions or anything but we are like low key like really close to Christmas I know you know I was when I was

watching Potomac it made me so excited for winter when they were pulling up to um Wendy's house and they were like getting out of the car and it was like snowy and icy and like it was like I love that feeling no I know and honestly like I'm on the side of TikTok where it's like they show you Christmas cookie videos and it's like 105 days till Christmas and honestly I feel like a part of growing up is like really I feel like when you were a kid you would like die for the summer and now I'm like the summer is so fucking hot I still have to work like I want

Christmas time like once Halloween starts like I feel like I'm actually the happiest and that really hurts back to what I said yesterday about me having reverse seasonal depression like the summer does not make me happy nice weather does not make me happy like staying inside with a hot cocoa and a fire roaring and a Christmas tree like that really brings me joy

when you would cultivate vibes there are no vibes cultivated in the summer that's so funny yes because literally like I made the decision to sit in my living room on Sunday and I'm like, try cultivated vibe, like, light some candles in the lights. It doesn't work. It's too hot to light candles. It doesn't work in the summer.

It doesn't work. So I just feel like normalize standing winter. I think a lot of people do. The only thing I'll say is like, yes, that time is so exciting. Halloween, my birthday, Christmas, like everyone's quaking. It's Jackie's birthday. You're so lucky to have a birthday in November. But then after New Year's, it is bleak.

Oh, bleak. Dark. For a while. for like four months. But you know what I've realized since then? And I feel like when I was younger, I used to get like really depressed after winter break and it's like so much time until next summer

or winter or summer break. But you know what's the cool thing about like the years? So they always come back around. So it's like, yes, okay, you could say it's, you know, right after Christmas, but you could also say 360 days until Christmas. You know what I mean? I understand what you're saying,

but I just, no. whatever the message i'm trying to instead we should plan like an amazing trip for like February March have something to look forward to yeah no you're 100% right February and March are really dark yeah we need a I mean I guess we have like Passover slash Easter in like April yeah but no and Valentine's Day in February but that's like a fake fucking holiday yeah but no yeah no you need a trip yeah let's get on that let's get on that yeah we're going to preempt the calendar. Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story? Yeah. Mark Wahlberg regrets going on an 11,000 calorie diet to quickly gain weight for his new movie. You know, I really actually enjoy reporting on stories where like method actors or like really like highly trained actors get into shape or like gain weight, lose weight for a movie because the fact that people can have that much control over their weight is the most impressive thing to me.

Like if I knew how to do that, I could literally build a rocket. Like I would be the smartest person ever. The 50-year-old departed Star Visit the Tonight Show on July 15th to promote his forthcoming drama, Joe Bell. During the interview, Jimmy Fallon asked about the recent shoot for his latest film, Stu, during which Mark at one point gained at least 20 pounds over the course of three weeks to portray a real-life boxer-turned priest. When he spoke with Jimmy back in April before the process had begun, Mark sounded excited, ebullent about the chance to gain a significant amount of weight over the course of the 30-day film shoot. However, as he explained to Jimmy Fallon, he has since learned this was perhaps not the

wisest choice. He said, unfortunately, I had to consume for two weeks, 7,000 calories, and then for another two weeks, 11,000 calories. And it was fun for about an hour. It was such a hard physical thing to do. Losing weight, you just kind of tough it out. You just don't eat and exercise. And this, even when you're full, I would wake up after a meal and have another meal. I was eating every three hours. It was not fun. I really just, like, have never related less to Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. I can understand the, um, the plight of like having to eat when you're not hungry. That's actually painful. But to even compare it to being harder than losing weight, like, no. Well, I also think maybe like mentally, when you are like grinding to lose weight,

there's like, you know, you have a goal in your, and you want to work towards that goal. But like, the goal on this end is just to, you know, be unhealthy. And it's like hard to motivate yourself to want to do that to your body. Yeah, I guess that's true. But like. Especially when you're someone like Mark Wahlberg, Mark Wahlberg, who's like always up in the gym working out in his fitness. He's my witness. Yeah. right he'd be riding down the block just to watch what i got so delicious so delicious but you know what mark warburg like is fergalicious so i feel like that's that makes his whole thing okay yeah no he's definitely fergalicious but i he was struggling with things that were delicious

you're his witness and he'd be riding around the block just to watch what i got to to to taste it tasted for delicious death for delicious death If you don't know that rap, like... It's not so annoying to, like, gain weight when you don't want to. Like... Yeah, but like, imagine just like, oh, I wish my life was involved with, like, me having to gain weight to make, like, $30 million in a movie. Like, I'm sorry, these celebrities are getting more and more out of touch.

Okay, probably, but it's like Jimmy Fallon asked, you know? Yeah, and that's on Jimmy Fallon. And, like, they go on these shows to talk about what they've been up to, and, like, that's what he's been up to. Yeah. I do feel like... I haven't really heard a lot about Jimmy Fallon. Do you know what I mean?

I feel like he was, like, he was, like, interfaces for a while. I feel like I go out of my way not to hear about Jimmy Fallon. Like I saw a headline about move away. Yeah, you have like this thing. I scrup on the Jimmy's. Like I fucking can't with them. If you had to rank the Jimmy's. To me, they're both really bad.

I would say. No, including James Corden. James Corden is probably my favorite because of like Carpool karaoke and he's given us a lot. I would say the little Jimmy. Kimmel? No. Fallon?

The shorter one. Kimmel. Kimmel? How many jimmies are there? Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Kimmel? Yeah, no, I think Jimmy Kimmel is like... You don't know who Jimmy Kimmel is?

It's the bigger one. No. Yeah, there, Jimmy Fallon is taller. Okay. Jimmy Kimmel is not the one I'm talking, is the bigger one. Wait, and so what's Jimmy? Is there another Jimmy? Jimmy Fallon.

Yeah, Andy's friend. I was going to say that's the smaller one. I would argue he's bigger. He's taller. What do you tell? Okay, Jimmy Fallon height. Oh, six foot. Okay, I guess that's pretty tall.

Let's find Jimmy Kimmel's height. Well, I think... He's like 5'9. Jimmy Kimmel height. 6'1. So I was right. No, he's not. No, it's literally...

What does it say? 6-1. Joe, Jimmy Kimmel is not 6-1. But on a different site, it says 5'11. You just can't get straight answers. Okay, whatever. So if you had to rank best to worst... Okay, I really don't like them all.

I would say I like Fallon more than Kimmel. Of course. If I had to say. Yeah. And you like James Corden better than both of them. Yes. But also because like, I guess James Corden is around a lot and like in your face. The Gen Z generation hates Jimmy Fallon.

Like no, fuck. James Corden. Really? Yes, they despise him. Like they were so much outrage that he was on the Friends reunion. Like they just think he's so annoying. And honestly, I like him. You do like him.

Yeah. I just lost all my story. like trying to find the jimmies okay that's why i fucking hate the jimmies my stories are back okay good well i i got them i they didn't just pop back the boys are back the boys are back probably the worst song from high school musical but the most is that when they're in the jug yard yeah atrocious and then they're like kids kids the campers oh my god so bad horrible anyways in a little space news of the week you guys know jeff bezos is going to space and his flight will include the youngest and the oldest humans to go to space.

I just feel like he's overcompensating for the fact that Richard Branson got there first. He's like, well, I'm going to break some world records. A hundred percent. And I can understand why, like, you know, he made all these strides to go to space and he's not even going to be like the first billionaire private, like, bought a ticket to go to space guy. No, now you're like a loser copier. So I understand his need to like one up and do something for the Guinness Book of World Records. Sure.

But I don't think that this is it. No, it's not even impressive, not to be rude. Like, could he bring a dog to space? Love that idea. You know? Also, like, he's just giving me, like, major Luanne Della Steps, like early Real Housewives of New York vibes, like constantly one-uping, like, her fancy friends.

This is just like, I feel like he should just take the loss, you know? Like, him overcompensating for getting their second with these losery attempts. It's kind of making the whole thing more losery. And it's like, if you really want to go to space, like, that should be enough for you. Like, do it for yourself. Degainu. Don't do it for other people. So true.

If that doesn't fulfill you going to space on its own, whether you're first, second, third, but by the way, you're second, don't think that you're first. Don't get a twisted. Then, like, really, what's the point of how much money you spend and all of this? No, you're so right. That's actually one of the key takeaways from my best-selling book, Girl With No Job, The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram, their sponsor. It's like doing things for yourself, not for, like, the perception of others.

And I feel like that's something Jeff Bezos could actually really use from my book. Yeah, and he could get it on Amazon really easily. Prime comes in a day. Yeah, I'm sure for him. Or the Kindle is automatic download. I'm sure for him, like, in a minute. Yeah, he could download it on his Kindle on his way to space. Great read, you know, for his journey.

Space read. Right, it's like you could take a book into, there's so many things that you could do. You know, you're 100% right. If we're going to break a record, like, let's do a cool one. This is honestly not inspiring at all. But he's taking an 18-year-old and an 82-year-old, and that's what he wants you to know, and that's what he thinks is going to set him apart. I just have to say, and I don't want to jinx anything.

I'm not trying to be like a bad omen, but like all this, like, billionaire, like, having fun in space, spending money. It's all fun in games till something goes wrong, you know? Like, we're not just, like, you know, taking a roller coaster ride. Like, we're actually doing something incredibly dangerous. 100%, which reminds me of Jessica Simpson's book. Which is... When, like, she was in school and they were watching...

They were watching the space takeoff. I forget what the name of the flight was. We weren't alive. The one that crashed. And, like, they played it in all the schools. It was, like, such a big deal. The Challenger. Seven years old.

And they never took off. The whole thing just exploded. No, they took off and it exploded. Okay. So, and they all, like, we're watching it. Yeah, and, like, all these kids were, like, a generation of kids traumatized from watching, like, a live killing. Yeah.

So I'm just saying, like, we're all joking about it, but it's actually very dangerous. Well, I mean, and NASA, even, the world's leading space researchers, even though you had made a mistake a couple years ago with the Challenger. So, like, it's not that crazy. It's a dangerous job. I think that's what Jeff wants you to think, too, like Jeff Bezos, brave. I'm not going to lie.

When I think of Jeff Bezos, a lot of adjutant. tips come up. And Brave is not on that list. I think of smart, greedy, bald. Like, I think of a lot of things. Brave? No. I think of newspaper in the morning. That's what I think of. I think of, I want to get drunk with you. Not too drunk, just a little tipsy. Yeah, that's what I think of. And I want to read the newspaper with you. So sick. That's really what I think of, honestly. I hope he brings a newspaper to space. To be honest, I really don't think Jeff Bezos has ever fully recovered reputation-wise from his scandal where his text messages were released. Here's what's crazy.

I think that he has recovered reputation-wise 100% like nobody even references it anymore. Like he's still with her even though it's like the brother who leaked the messages. But for me like that's all I think about. And it's I guess because he like decides what people think about he's put it out of their minds. So true.

Like I can't be like controlled. I can't be tamed. Yeah. Like that I'm still thinking about it. But I can't believe. I can't believe that everybody's moved on. in the way that they have a not every article starts with Jeff Bezos, who one said, I want to wake up with you and read the newspaper.

No, by the way, you're 100% right, but I can believe that people have forgotten about it for the exact reason you just mentioned. Like, he owns the Washington Post. He's like one of the most powerful people in our country. Like, of course we're no longer thinking about it. He doesn't want us to. He put a chip in us. Like, you're 100% right.

So that's my thoughts. But at the morning toast, we're here to remind you, like, those things happen. You know what? You know what I think I'll do today? I think I'll repost those text messages on our Instagram. hashtag never forget and probably my favorite time to ever be alive was when his text messages came out and there was like a challenge in the toaster community when girls were sending word for word what he was like these creepy kind of like lame attempts at romance yeah romantic

text messages to their like fiancees or girlfriends or husbands and the responses were so funny that was like my favorite time to be alive yeah and now I have nothing to live for because everyone's forgotten. Everyone's forgotten, but not us. You can't run away from it, Jeff. Like, you can go to space, but we'll never forget. Just like, who who did you say? You said Jason Momoa was

Zoe. No, remember what you said? Remember what you said? That Jason Mamoa that Zoe Cravitz is Jason Mamoa's Jason Mamoa's stepdaughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's wrong to be? Yeah, remember when you said that? Now it's like, I don't know where I was going with this, maybe just about.

Okay, I'll move on until you can get your footing back. It's not going to happen, so. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Only if it's the final story. Do do-do-do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do. We need a triangle, because when I hit that last note, I just want to ding the triangle. Order it from Jeff Bezos's blog. Okay, our fifth and vinyl.

And we'll get like a little hook and we'll hang it right here. Yeah, and it's just like... Or maybe we need like a... What's it called on the drums? A timber? Timble? No, no, but for this particular song, the sound we're emulating is a triangle. I actually feel like, what's it called? Symbol.

Yeah. Like, I think that is actually more of the vibe I'm personally going for musically. Okay, that's fine for you, but I want a triangle. Can you order two triangles? Thanks. Thanks. That's exciting, you guys. The toast is moving on up.

We're becoming a musical show. We always were. Yeah. But we used to be acapella, and now we're going to have intraments. Yeah, we're going acoustic. Are you ready for... My legs are hairy. I really need to use my Athena Club razor.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Can you guys see it? No, they can't. Because my legs have been so hairy all week. This is actually like chutzpah level. No, they can't see it. I've already conducted this experiment on the show. Can you see my hair from your purview?

No. Okay. No, I don't think so. Are you ready for a fifth and final story? Oh, it's so controversial. Shark advocates are calling for a rebranding of violent attacks as interactions. So they want them to be called, instead of shark attacks, they want them to be called shark interactions. Marine experts and advocates in Australia are urging the public to refrain from using the word attack in reference to sharks, declaring that the majestic predatory fish has been unfairly stigmatized as a deliberate killer. Instead, officials have suggested that violent run-ins with sharks be dubbed with more neutral words, such as interactions. Others have suggested swapping the word with the terms negative encounter, incident, or simply bites.

The University of Sydney language researcher Christopher Pepin Neff said, Shark attack is a lie. He argued that a majority of what people call attacks, are merely nips and minor injuries from smaller sharks. Like, honestly, stories like this make me not want to, like, live in this world anymore. Like, for real, like, are you fucking serious? Like, you're worried about the shark's feelings? Like, no offense.

Sharks doesn't watch the news. No, and, like, no offense. Like, sharks don't really care about, like, your... Sharks don't speak English. Okay? Sharks don't speak English. Totally. And, like, I just can't believe that they're, like, actually really smart people

who have dedicated their entire lives to, like, to academia and and this is what they came up with like no wonder we haven't cured cancer yet everyone's focused on the dumbest shit of all time like the linguistics of sharkhood like I honestly can and it's really upsetting like I know we're joking but like it's really upsetting no do you know what I'm saying this is really upsetting because it's like this is what we've gotten to as a society minutia of how we refer to shark attacks and I'm sorry we don't attack sharks they attack us it's an attack it's an attack so I'm just like disgusted like I really am especially coming off of being at comedy

seller last thing where like everyone was saying the craziest shit and I'm like really and now I'm back in the real world where it's like shark interaction it's a shark interaction literally like how did we get here like it's so upsetting and it also like it you worry about okay say you know what shark enthusiasts go ahead like then what's next no of course it's not about the sharks even know it kind of is. Like, it's just about the president. It's not about the sharks. Honestly, it's about the people. Because the sharks don't care. No, and it's like, if only the sharks knew that like there were these losers advocating on their behalf. The sharks would bite them.

Literally. And you know what? Just as for anyone who's ever been bitten by a shark, this is so insensitive to them. Yeah. And I'm just really sick. And I reject this. I reject. I reject. I reject. No. Shark attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, shark attack, shark attack, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Shark attack, shark attack, shark attack. What was that? Oh, it was a shark attack.

Attack. What are you going to do about that, huh? Professor. Christopher. What are you going to do? Attack. Attack, attack, attack, attack, attack. Shark attack, attack.

Shark attack. Hmm? Christopher. Shark attack. You're reminding me of that shark from finding Nemo. Which one? You know the one. Fish are friends, not food.

Yeah. And I feel like honestly, that movie was actually detrimental and was one of the reasons that got us here. It's like, look, the shark is nice. It's not based on a real story. No shark ever said fish or friend, not food, because they eat fish. Because they don't speak English. That as well.

So I just feel like it's kind of been this like subliminal messaging, teaching our kids. Of like normalizing sharks. And it's like they are a deadly predator. No Ellen animated feature film is going to change that. Right. Shark attack, shark attack. And honestly, like, you can't negotiate with a shark. No, you can't, and I wouldn't suggest it.

And also, and I just really can't stress this enough, as you said so poignantly, poignantly, shark don't speak English. Also, like, when I said, like, what comes next, I'll tell you what it would be. They would make them change the name of Shark Tank. No doubt. They would make them change the name because it's offensive to sharks. I'm surprised we haven't gotten there yet in this twisted society. No, but if this goes through, that's.

what's next. It's not going to go through. You want to know why? Because we reject it. Shark attack, shark attack, shark attack, attack. We need Kevin O'Leary back on the show just to discuss this. A hundred percent. So anyways, if you do find yourself, like at a dinner party or a wedding this weekend, like I do feel like this is a good topic of conversation, you can get to know a lot about someone based on what they, what their opinion is on the story. 100%. And honestly, if you just feel like starting shit at like a family barbecue, just stand up and say, shark attack, shark attack, shark attack. Yeah.

We have a little TV recap because Love Island was on last night and we both caught up. All right, Love Island. I have to say, on Wednesday night's episode at the very end, when Cinco chose Trina, I had a feeling he was going to, but part of me was like when he was actually saying it, he seemed so sad. I'm like, oh, I think maybe he's actually going to pick Cash. Me too. I was devastated.

Like, I really was. And it's very possible that he was meant to be with Trina and they have like a better connection but I just don't like how the whole thing unraveled and when they were all sitting at that all girls brunch and basically cash was just trying to like I don't even know if that's true like he went for Trina because she didn't open up she was just trying to like rationalize what was going on and I thought Trina was like being rude like basically saying like interrupting her and being like I find that offensive because you're basically saying like I'm his second choice when like she really was not saying that at all and I just I know she was saying it a little bit well you know what

she should because literally what Trina did Trina was being a Jezebel I don't think so like this is the name of the game. I think these two girls are friends. I think it's painful for both of them. And you don't need to put one down in order. She didn't even mention Trina. No, but like that's what she was doing. No, she wasn't. And I also feel like, I totally understand my cash is upset, but I feel like everything that she says, kind of is, or is saying like about the situation. Like, I'm not upset. Like, and then she'll say, like, I put up walls with Cinco, but then she'll also say, like, I was, like, but then we see her and she's like, fully into him. And I'm just like, but how do you really feel because I feel like she's just like wanting to say the right things because she knows

that like that's the show like that this you know you have to be open and everybody gets to meet everyone but it's like I'm having a hard time getting at how she really feels about it that's actually a good point she does contradict herself a little bit but I not for any like malevolent reason other than I just think she really is trying to be rational and not emotional but it's like you can be emotional it's love island love is emotional yeah she definitely is like has her guard up on what she wants to reveal and how she wants to be perceived because honestly now that he chose Trina she doesn't really have any other prospect she's spoken to no one no but then Isaiah just popped up and all of a sudden there's a connection

there I really like because I like Amy and Jeremy together me too um I think she likes him his bad kissing and all I know there's just like something so losery about Jeremy I know I just feel like whenever we see his conversations with the woman that he is into, like, they're not showing us anything of interest. Substantial, yeah. But then it's like, he has such a good friendship with cash and, like, you see him like around the house and it's like, okay, there must be more to this man. Because everyone really likes him and like they all like respect him and they say he's like the nicest guy in the house. So if he was such a dud, that wouldn't be the case. Yeah, but he's giving off duddy vibes. A hundred percent. And I like Shannon and Josh once again. Yes, me too. Honestly, I feel like

I'm on the roller coaster with Shannon. Like, I hate Josh, but also, like, they're clearly OTP. No, but also, like, when he came back from that date, he was doing the most. It was actually the perfect exercise for him in being able to prove to Shannon that he's 100%. Like, he did everything so right, like, above and beyond right, like, leaving, kissing her, coming back, kissing her, like, didn't really give Florina any. He said she was, like, beautiful and stuff, but didn't really give her any hope.

Yeah, my worry with Josh, like, if I was Shannon, is, like, on the weeks where the boys are in charge. He can be a dick. And then on the week where like Shannon is in charge, he's like a kiss ass. But it's actually been the opposite. Yes, that's true because I don't think he realized that the first recoupling was going to be the girls because he wouldn't have on that morning kissed Amy. No, was it? Yeah, Amy. I think you know who the recoupling is going to be based on who, if there's more boys or more girls. And I know, but it was like the first week. I honestly don't think he realized. I really don't. Wow. That would actually be kind of sweet if he didn't realize because that means he's not just thinking about sticking around. He's just sort of

going with how he feels. I just don't understand why they don't just commit to each other because then like when she was like, I'm going to talk to Isaiah, like, they get in trouble when they agree to like be open with other people, but then they get jealous. Like, why don't you just agree not to be open? Because it's too early and they're really there to meet more people. So it's like if there's going to be someone who comes in who's better suited for them, then they should, they should be able to discover that because they're there to meet the

person that's best for them. I know, but don't they also want to win? And the long couples win. So I would just like find someone who wants. necessarily the long couples win because if they just caught became in a couple now and that was it there was nothing really more from them they wouldn't win because nobody really likes either of them yet like they are not boring they haven't like how to choose each other over other people like with strife it's a lot it's a lot more than that and still like right now watching it I don't know I don't know which couple would is even a front runner for winning well they're all so messy like I feel like like Will and Kira but they are boring you're right and I don't like them. I like hate them both. No, I just get, I just think something is going to happen. She's a lot. Like, and he appears to be into like her overwhelming kind of smothering nature. Um, but that does get old in a house for weeks. Yeah. And like what if someone comes in who

catches his eye and his mind? Like just right now he hasn't been with met anyone who he likes more than cure. So that makes it really easy. But like, you know who I think he's actually really well suited for, Amy. They had a little. They had something and they never explored it because he decided to stay with Kira. Yeah, but that could come back around. Right, because they both speak Spanish.

They're vegan. They're vegan. They're both just kind of like weirdly intellectual in like a, you know. Metaphysical sense. Yeah, he's always like doing yoga. She wants to preserve the planet for her future children. Like I think that actually they're a perfect match because I think him and Kira is a very physical relationship and I think that definitely will fizz a lot.

Like I don't think they're going to. going to ride it out together. I don't think it's sustainable. Yeah. It's too much too soon. It's overwhelming. Like they are never not together. Like they sleep together. They make up. They do yoga together. They have breakfast together. They sit on the pool together. Like, it's a lot. Yeah. Just human nature like to be with the same person for so long. Yeah. So, um, I'm just like loving. I know I keep saying this like being a part of something. Even though I got to download the app and like start voting. Because like all three girls going on a date with Corey was twisted. It didn't make sense because they all said who they wanted

They all came in in the first episode and we, when did people vote? Because we were watching the episode when we met them and then later. No, at the end of. We got introduced to them and then they said vote. And it said, go vote at the end of like an episode from the end of last week. Okay, but I really like Corey and Florina. Me too, of course. I think that actually if they can like, that's a couple where it's like, okay, we see what they have in common.

And they've explored other people. They're really. And if they got together and then continued to build, like that's a couple that could win. Yeah. No, I think they're a good couple too. and of course I was happy for Corey because he's like had literally nothing going on. Nothing.

But all three girls getting the date like made no sense and it wasn't even a date. It was literally them sitting in the corner of the house. I thought they were going to leave. No, it was really silly. But then they got their actual dates, which sucks for Corey because they were like, I'm not taking Corey on a romantic date

because we've already spent time with him. And so they took people that they just wanted to talk to that they hadn't gotten a chance to yet. Yeah. The house is so nice. Sick. Every time they pan, I'm like,

I would love to go on vacation here. Like it's so bright and colorful. The slide looks very dangerous. No, All the houses, like, they do a really good job with the neon signs and, like, the bright colors. The big heart. Also, the females, like, just looks and glam and outfits are just so on point. You want to know why?

Because I think, like, I think they spend most of their days, like, sitting in that makeup room because they really don't swim that much or, like, do anything. They, like, work out in the morning and then they, like, gossip. And they always gossip in the room. So if that was me, I'd be sitting in the air conditioning, flat ironing my hair the entire day. No, it really is, like, camp. I think in the morning they do the workouts. And I do think that they swim, but they probably can't wear in their mics while they're swimming.

So there's nothing that interesting. And then I think it's like shower hour. And then they all, like, they all step out. And they do their like slow-mo. And like they walk to, they each get a glass of wine. And it's just like, must be the most fun camp. I agree as well. But let's talk about shower hour.

Do the boys and girls have separate showers? Because it always looks like they're in the same room, not at the same time. I think that they do because it's CBS. And the house is huge. Yeah. So why would there be one bathroom? But they probably just like are the same exact layout because I always see them like in same shower as the boys. But then it's also multiple heads in the shower, but no doors.

Right. So they're just, you know, looking at each other. Something that happened a few weeks ago, like, no, actually like maybe at the beginning of this week when Cinco was like starting to have feelings for Trina again, he was talking to the guys and they were in the shower and he was not in the shower. And he opened the door and stuck his head in to talk to them. There was two guys in the shower. So he was just like looking at two penises being like, I don't know what to do. Like cash is like, you know, I'm having second thoughts or whatever. And I'm like, did you just stick your head into the shower? yes he did and if I had to guess I would say would be because maybe he thought the audio

wouldn't get picked up oh yeah and they do not let go of those microphones they sleep with them like I know oh and I never I didn't really understand why every time they wake up they put on sunglasses it's because they're under production lighting when they've just been asleep yeah no the room gets so bright from being pitch black yeah awful yeah I think the only thing I couldn't envision myself being a part of is the sleeping arrangements. Like, of course, being in a bathing suits, yeah, but having to sleep with a stranger. And not only that, in a room with 15 other people, it's actually very unsettling. Like, what if you fart?

Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of farting. Yeah. Like, I haven't slept with a stranger since I was, like, in college. Well, camp. Yeah, I guess. But, like, in camp, you're only with girls. And, like, you're all just like, yeah, farting and, like, you're shaving your legs.

Like, you're, like, all gross together. But, like, with boys, like, you wouldn't, wouldn't do that. Yeah. that's the part that like also I felt that way about too hot to handle and the two hot to handle beds are very small I think they're full size mattresses where I think is in Love Island they're all queen size yeah no it seems like pretty like a good setup and I'm sure they got comfortable like maybe at first it's weird but I think they're like comfortable now I'm sure when they go home they like miss all their camp friends that's how I used to feel at camp like it missed the you know the loudness of the camaraderie of the bunk and then you get back to your home and it's like so silent I think as a child I went through like many and many depression after camp like I took it really hard I think it I think most, that's a sign of a good summer. 100%. Now I crave the winters. And that is our show.

That is our show. So for next week, let's talk about it. I have lined up a couple guests. A couple premium guests. I'm really excited to watch. The schedule is not set yet. So I will be posting at some point over the weekend the entire schedule for next week. I'm really hoping to do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,

in studio with fabulous co-host. And then you and I can catch up Thursday, Friday, with some podcast only. transatlantic Continental. Transcontinental content. So stay tuned. I will keep you abreast, but I'm just working on some last-minute logistics.

I've got two out of three of the co-hosts booked, looking to host one more. But I'll keep you abreast, as always. But we'll be in studio on Monday, so just stay with us. Yeah. I'm so excited to watch. I'm excited for my trip.

I'm going to miss you guys, but I'm really excited. I'm excited to get away. I love. I always come back with so, with a whole new energy, Joad de V, stories to tell.

and I really I think that I need that you know it's like this in this heat of July and like it's time for me to go and it's time for us to go into our weekends and for you to go back to work or to start drinking I don't know thank you guys so much for listening to the morning to toast the millennial morning show where we deliver the past five stories that you yes you need to know before you wake up money through Friday for you wake up and take a bite out of no before you this is what the problem we had yesterday right thank you so much for listening to the morning toast the millennium morning show where we deliver the past five stories every Monday through Friday on YouTube so if you're watching

this on YouTube. Please feel free to subscribe and give us video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere. Podcasts can be found so at Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, I have rated castbox, all the places. So wherever you listen to podcasts, find out some morning shows, leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are. Now that we know that a lot of people still listen because all of you guys left the macho emoji today. I think shark emoji today. Oh, for sure. Shark emoji on our Instagram. This is like a secret little society. I'm so excited. Thank you. I can't believe how many people commented on our Instagram. No, it was so fun to watch. Love you guys. We have to wrap it up so people don't think there's

something happening. Love you guys. Have a great day. We'll see you on Monday. Enjoy your weekend. Bye. Bye.