The Toast - Tour de Lou: Friday, September 22nd, 2023
Episode Date: September 22, 2023Sophie Turner sues Joe Jonas for return of their two kids to England as tumultuous divorce gets messier (Page Six) (26:54)Sophie Turner and Taylor Swift Spotted Out Having Dinner Twice in One... Week in New York City (PEOPLE) (33:28)Travis Kelce admits he invited Taylor Swift to Chiefs game, waiting to 'see what happens' amid dating rumors (Page Six) (37:30)Kylie Jenner reveals new boyfriend Timothee Chalamet is her phone background (Page Six) (47:12)Cameron Diaz ditches salad and whips up cheesy chicken nachos in cooking video (Page Six) (51:27)The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) The Camper and The Counselor by Jackie OshryMerchThe Toast PatreonGirl With No Job by Claudia OshrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Good morning, Millennials!
Welcome back to The Toast and...
Happy Friday!
Friday! Gotta get down on Friday!
Everybody, including me, is looking forward to the weekend!
Weekend! Friday! Friday!
Get down on Friday!
Hey, Jax.
Happy Friday.
Happy Friday, litter-de-loo.
No, Jackie, I said fry-yay.
That's a really cool thing that you said.
That's like a really cool thing we all used to say.
Why did we stop saying it?
Because it was too cool.
It was too cool for school.
Oh, turdy down.
Sorry, I almost fell out of my chair.
From?
Okay.
From just like being alive, you know?
From the excitement of Friday.
I have so many things to say.
Okay.
I'm trying not to let like the excitement of Friday
be marred by the fact that
I know.
This is our last show.
Don't start the show on a negative, okay?
I mean, but I am going to be me, you know, and that's what me does.
This is Friday.
It is cause for celebration.
But lest we not forget, our next show for the toast will be on Tuesday
because Monday is the dreaded holy day of Yom Kippur,
the day we talk about all year long.
It's finally here.
Lest we not forget,
Le Tour de L'Eau is on performance enhancing drugs
and won't be suffering like the rest of us.
Here's the thing.
I'm taking matters into my own hands.
You could do the same.
Like you could find some rabbi to give you an exception,
like a machloket about breastfeeding.
Like I'm sure there's a rabbi out there who would be like, you're fine.
I actually just saw an Instagram card yesterday that I did not seek out
that like came across my desk through someone's stories.
It found you.
That was pretty much like you have to fast on Yom Kippur
even though you're breastfeeding.
Like how did that find you?
From my lactation consultant who I follow, Chantal.
It was like basically like.
That's so Chantal.
It's so Chantal.
It basically said like Yom Kippur.
It said this and had attitude too.
It's like.
It's like, don't even think about it, fatty.
Yeah, fat fuck.
That's what it said.
It said Yom Kippur is 25 hours your supply isn't
gonna change or be made or broke by those 24 hours go fast that's a supply go fast you fat
fuck go fast wench wow okay but you know I think a decree of a rabbi would supersede that of an
Instagram card.
I don't know.
They're so powerful, Claudia.
By the way, they literally are.
Okay, so I'll try not to dwell on it too much.
Just want everyone to know there's no show on Monday because we will be suffering and atoning for our sins.
I am looking forward to getting it over with.
In the last couple of weeks, it's been just this thing hanging over our heads,
knowing that it's coming.
And the bad part about Yom Kippur is obviously the fasting but the good part is like getting it over with
and getting a whole year in between you and the next time yes and the good part is atoning washing
away your sins tabula rasa what are you atoning for like what will you be thinking about you know
things you want to do better this year honestly I, I'm perfect. Like, I know.
I know.
I feel the same.
What could she tweak?
Let me think.
Like, I'm a good person.
I'm a charitable person.
I'm kind.
I really am.
I'm generous.
Well, I'm not like that generous.
But I don't know why in the Bible it says you have to be generous.
It's just like an extra credit.
It does.
It says like 10% of your...
Yeah, like the tithe.
The tithe.
Like 10% of your earnings should go towards charity.
But I think that was before there were 50% taxes.
Yeah,
no.
And I feel like if the Bible had been written in this economy,
it wouldn't be 10%.
It would be maybe half a percent.
No,
but it's like,
does that,
what about taxes?
Is that not the tax?
No,
I think that,
um,
in the Bible,
like if I had to get into the mind of,
you know, God and Moses who wrote it, into the mind of, you know, God and
Moses who wrote it, it would be like, you know, your net net 10% of like what you bring home,
which is kind of crazy. Right. Which is kind of crazy, like in this economy with these taxes.
No, they didn't have taxes in the land of Egypt and, you know, Canaan and Israel. The 10% like was the tax.
Yeah.
No, I don't feel bad about that.
Like, I don't.
I just don't think it's applicable to modern times.
It's definitely not.
There's a lot in the Bible that's not applicable to modern times.
And we all, you know, adjust and adapt our observance, no, observancies.
Accordingly.
Accordingly.
So don't feel bad about that.
Let's move on because honestly, like, I already feel this, like, bringing me down, my energy.
And let's go back to, like, the excitement that it is Friday.
I mean, I do have things in which to reflect upon.
Can always improve.
Could always be better.
Like what?
Such a good question.
I feel like I could be more patient really I don't know
like what are we supposed to be like we're supposed to be kind but it's also like I'm
supposed to be like hard-working and productive like I only have so you can't be patient and
hard I can't be patient to no end. Yeah.
No, this is a good question.
I mean, we talk a lot of crap, you and I, privately.
I feel like that's sacred.
I agree.
No, family is like a core tenant in Judaism.
We're supposed to put family first, spend time with family,
invest in our relationships with our family.
And that's what we're doing every night on FaceTime.
Like, I don't feel bad about that.
No, I don't feel bad, but I'm just saying like, if I'm looking at my life as a whole,
like I'm not giving that up because I'm not giving that up because above all, I know God
wants me to be happy and like talking shit makes me happy.
Yeah.
And it's not like I'm talking shit here and like making, you know, everyone making people
sad.
Like we're not hurting anyone.
No, like in the car.
And like we're bringing ourselves joy.
And I know that's what God would want.
Like, I know it's what God would want.
Yeah.
I just I can't see the argument for really why it's bad.
Like it's not hurting anyone.
And it brings us joy.
But you know what they say?
A lush and horror.
Laman.
Hey, go to hell the easy way.
I know.
Lush and horror is like gossip.
But I think that Lashon Hara is misunderstood.
So, you know, we were always taught like don't speak Lashon Hara.
And it's kind of like marketed as gossip.
But it's not really.
The translation of Lashon Hara is like speaking evil.
We don't say anything evil.
We're just like saying like, did you see that outfit? Like, you know? is like speaking evil. We don't say anything evil.
We're just like saying like,
did you see that outfit?
Like, you know?
Like Lush and Hara is more extreme than gossip.
Gossip is merely an exchange of information.
Yeah.
And I think also like the spreading of gossip is bad. Oh yeah.
We keep it in the family.
I am evolved.
Like sometimes my friends will tell me something
like in confidence,
but then eventually it's something
that could be spread wider.
And like, they're kind of confused when nobody else knows.
They're like, Jax, I thought you told.
I'm like, I would never.
Yeah.
And also for me, like, it depends on how much I care.
Like somebody could give me like a really juicy piece of gossip.
But like, if I literally don't care about these people, it will fly out of my mind.
Like I don't just spread gossip for the sake of talking, you know?
No.
Juicy or dry. If it's a secret, it will stay with me and Claudia.
No, but I also know like the importance.
Like I actually recently found something out.
A celebrity told me.
I'm not going to say who, but like, you know, a celebrity.
They told me something like major.
Do I know?
Yeah, but I'll remind you later.
Months before it happened.
Okay.
And then it happened and this celebrity texted me and she was like I cannot believe you didn't tell anyone like I honestly
regretted telling you because like you have a big mouth and you know what you're my sister now
so like I know when it's important okay trying to wrap my head around I think I know what it was I
know what it was yeah I know what it was yeah I know what it was. Yeah. I know what it was. Yeah. I know.
So it's just like, like, you know, being a loyal person is also like a valuable thing.
People seek that out when you're like the thirst monster that I am, like wanting to be friends with as many cool people as possible.
Like people value trust.
So for me, like I won't tell you this piece of gossip, not because like I'm an actually
loyal person, but because it benefits me.
It's going to further Turdy's agenda right okay and like that's another thing that we should always be honest isn't that
I'm a very honest person isn't that a friends episode where it's like there's actually no
altruistic deeds because even being altruistic in some way reflects positively on yourself
yeah and at the end of the day like being altruistic makes you feel good.
Therefore, it's not a selfless act.
Right.
And it's actually a fire point Phoebe's making.
Well, actually, Joey makes it.
Phoebe's trying to be like,
no, you can just do something out of the goodness of your heart.
And every time she does a good deed,
they point out, well, look at the repercussions.
You feel good.
Or she let a bee sting her because she's like,
you know, it's my part as a human on this member of the ecosystem and then they're like well you know
the bee dies after he stings you like there's always something yeah that's not as good of an
example but but why does it have to be doing something good means you shouldn't get good in
return like who said that right isn't that the whole premise of karma isn't that like god probably
made it so that like good deeds would feel good so that you would fucking do that.
Continue to do them.
So yeah, do them.
Do them.
So you do them.
Duh.
Duh.
Are you dumb?
So that's your lesson in spirituality for the day.
Now, I wanted to talk about something I saw on my way to work that was really mind-blowing.
Share.
I walked past an Apple store on my way to the studio,
and I was shocked that they were holding a loser convention.
The new Apple iPhone, I guess, came out today.
Jackie, if you saw the number of people, stanchions, police, hundreds of people wait.
And like, I'm a person, like I want the new iPhone.
I'm not waiting in line for it.
Like I'll wait till it dies down and then I'll just like order it online.
You know, like a normal person.
Wow.
I was shocked.
I'm sorry.
Nothing.
Oh, and not only to wait in a line that
long, but to wait in a line to spend over a thousand dollars, like on a piece of technology
that you already have in your pocket. That's really just as good. Like I, I saw, you know,
they do their quarterly conventions where Tim Cook gets on stage, tells you. And I feel like
they always make waves like, Oh, new feature on Apple. And I always look for them when I'm
choosing stories. Cause like, it's always like mindless fodder to talk about um there was no news like there was a
few new updates it's not anything life-changing it's not like you know the unsending a text
message that really broke the internet like why are people waiting in line and it was early and
I have to imagine they've been out there for hours yeah I can't relate to waiting line but I actually
feel the opposite where I feel like this new iPhone is the first in a few years that is actually something new and special and better technology
because it has that zoom that the Samsung Galaxy has yeah I love when they do like the Apple
conventions and they're like we have this new feature and Samsung users like shouting to avoid
because nobody cares they're like we text in green They're like, hey, we've had this for 10 years.
And we're like, cool.
Nobody cares.
Nobody cares.
Yeah, the Zoom.
I remember I sent you a video a few months ago that was like a hyper Zoom on a Samsung Galaxy.
It was like a panoramic image of a beach.
A guy getting into a truck.
And then the Zoom, all the way Zoom of a car on the street that was like the size of an amp.
But it was perfect pixelation.
Yeah.
No, it's like, I've said this once.
I'll say it again.
The Samsung could cure cancer.
The Samsung could literally be my Ozempic.
And I still wouldn't get it.
Like, I'm sorry.
I have a reputation to uphold.
Remember when Samsung was waterproof before Apple?
Remember when Samsung was everything before Apple?
Like, we don't care.
Speaking of Apple apple i saw a
commercial last night that had me thinking because do you want to know who was in the
apple commercial that i saw who smartless
oh and it was only jason and sean not, maybe he has like a non-compete
that he works with another brand or something.
Maybe, but I thought that was interesting.
I guess that's what happens when you're number one,
you get an Apple commercial.
Okay, so if you're number two,
do you get a Samsung commercial?
Maybe if we shut our fucking mouths
and stop talking shit about Samsung,
we would be in a goddamn commercial.
Yeah, okay, so I love the Samsung Galaxy.
Like I've been trying to get it, but it's just- Actually, I'm sorry I will I I don't have a positive word to say about Samsung
not only like are their products losery I worked with them one time and like some employee at the
company like cried about it like I don't feel safe we're working with an influencer like named
Claudia who tweeted something once in 2009 and I'm upset and literally they pulled my deal and it was
in page six I'm like oh not only do you make phones for losers, you exclusively employ losers.
I can't be a part of this.
It's for the best that we part ways.
Yeah.
And hire a PR firm full of losers.
Right.
Like, no, I I'm too cool for this.
I'm out.
So I hate Samsung Galaxy.
Their phones are trash.
And yeah, they offer me a commercial.
I wouldn't want it.
Exactly.
And that's i'm being
scrupled well one thing about us we're gonna be scrupled yeah we are though i was just willing
to say that i love the samsung galaxy and like no matter how much we try like no matter how much
people tell us we won't stop talking shit so maybe we're not like that scrupled why we're scrupled to
the fact that we won't stop talking shit. True. We can't be broken.
One thing about Jackie, she's going to manipulate language.
Like, she's going to manipulate language to make it work in her favor.
One thing about me, I'm going to see the whole 360,
and I'm going to make it work for me.
I love that about you, Jackie.
I'm going to defend myself because I'm scrupled.
You're going to defend yourself and your family.
Of course. Le tour de l'. La Tour de Loo. You know so many people like really I think one of their um biggest dreams is
to be in La Tour de France and I feel like not enough people talk about their dreams of being
in La Tour de Loo. No it's disgusting. It's disgusting. It also sounds like the name of a
French restaurant. La Tour de Loo. Yeah although I believe also sounds like the name of a French restaurant.
Le Tour de Loo.
Yeah, although I believe the rough translation would be like a tour of the bathroom.
I love it.
I love it.
I'm actually going to see some apartments today.
Are you going to give us a tour de loo?
Right.
No, I'll let you know how the bathrooms are.
I'll do a tour de lu.
The Operation See Snow by Christmas is still very much in session
having absolutely no luck.
We're fatigued.
Okay, I guess I'll just fuck off.
No, like, just make
moves. Jackie, you're fatigued?
Like, imagine literally going and seeing all
these fucking apartments. No, but you're like living for it. You think you're onigued. Like imagine literally going and seeing all these fucking apartments.
No, but you're like living for it.
You think you're on an episode of Selling Sunset?
No, if I was on an episode of Selling Sunset, like I'd be touring nice apartments.
Like I would have lots of options.
No, I mean, if there was Selling Sunset in New York City rental market, it would just be like people forking over their life savings for an apartment that's subpar at best yeah million dollar listing no because those people don't
have like budgets right no but that's like selling sunset million dollar listing is like what the
right show for like New York no but I need million dollar listing like average person looks in the
rental market I'm not even an average person I have like a nice budget yeah there's a reason why they're
not making that show because it's too real too real so I guess I'll just continue the tour de
l'eau without a camera crew okay well good luck I do hope you see the snow by Christmas
if I'm hedging my bets I'm optimistic, but I'm still rooting for you.
Yeah.
And it's okay if you don't.
Who needs snow?
We're going to Utah.
You'll see the snow there.
I need snow.
Speaking of Utah, did you see what Rach Parcell tags us in on Instagram this morning?
I did. Not only was Rach Parcell listening to the toast, shout out.
Which is just like a feat in and of itself.
In and of itself.
The queen of Utahah chose us but
she had a major emergency at her house whilst listening to the toast and she was so enwrapped
with our episode that she didn't even notice the small fire starting behind her in her living room
yeah literally that's not um a play on words no fire broke out in rach's house and i actually
feel like the lesson of the fire and how it started is a good lesson for everyone because she had a little plastic pumpkin
like on her fireplace i mean she is like the queen of fall decor like she has a reputation
no matter the season have you seen her summer backyard have you seen her winter decor
i love it box her in like that and she has a reputation to uphold and you know i think the
pressure really got to her because she obviously forgot about 101 fire safety.
Yeah, the pressure got to her.
And her little plastic pumpkin went up in flames
and she had three fire trucks outside her house.
And I think that's just kind of like the dangers of the toast.
Like we are too compelling.
You will listen or watch us like too intently.
You won't even notice a major hazard in your home.
You won't even notice an emergency happening right in front of your own eyes because you're
so like caught up with your garleys.
With your garleys.
And it's scary to think how many people listen while driving.
That's distracted driving.
And you know me, I'm like all about safe driving and I would now use my platform as a PSA,
like don't listen to us while you drive.
But that's like half our
audience and therefore half my uh my income so I'm just gonna shut the fuck up yeah no until they
make a rule like you can't listen to podcasts and drive who are we to say no I mean I think
there are definitely some podcasts you could listen to and drive like smart list like you
know ones that aren't that compelling but like us we are so funny and so interesting and so
scrupled that we really are like a danger to society yeah so if you're driving and you're
zoned out just like zone back in for a second you know yeah we'll keep reminding you throughout the
episode like when we feel ourselves getting too interesting we'll be like zone back in yeah you're on the road right i'm so happy to have you back i love podcasting with all
the other girlies but there's really nothing like having you back there's really nothing like it so
i did a little scheduling update because we've made like a tentative plan for the rest of my
maternity leave the end is in sight the end is in sight so the next two weeks i'm gonna be on like
three days a week,
like how we've been doing.
And then the following week, I'm going to be in New York.
So Jackie's book is coming out because don't forget the camper and the counselor dot com.
The camper and the counselor is coming out October 10th.
Pre-order it now wherever you pre-order books.
You guys, the book is so good.
I'm getting so excited.
And when I really think about what I'm excited for,
it's just to like see people reading this book to their kids.
Like the book brings me so much joy.
I probably read it a hundred times before I stopped getting chills every time I would finish it.
Would you say that the book gives you goosebumps and chills?
Yes.
Much like the Winding Camp Roads, the book gives me goosebumps and chills.
A hundred percent.
That's beautiful.
So I'm really
so so excited and I just hope everyone places their order for anyone in your life whether you
have a child a nephew a niece and you know the book is obviously about a girl's first summer at
camp but it is not only for the girls Harry loves the book oh that's so true it's very gender
inclusive yeah it's just fun and then like there's it's not super girly it's not super boy like it's kind of this universal experience yeah it's just telling the
story of a universal feeling that we can all relate to through the eyes of a young girl and
in our house we call her little mama you do yeah i'm like that's why because it's me little oh
duh oh my god am i okay i say that's little mama and that's auntie margo it's like
so disgusting honestly i'm boycotting this book yeah no i know i should have put like a camper
that looks like you there is like a chubby little brunette like who definitely could be me
no she she doesn't look like you i should have just like put you should have made like a brunette
character who is just like she doesn't have any lines or anything, but she wore a shirt that said turdy or something.
Yeah.
No.
Or she fucking looks like you.
Just like.
Yeah.
Camper looks like me.
But like,
would she be Ozempic camper?
No,
I think like a chubby camper would go over better with focus groups.
Okay.
But also when you were a camper,
you were thin.
Real thin.
Real.
I'm really going back to my roots you are roots they're so great so anyways the camper and the counts are october 10th pre-order it now anywhere that you
pre-order books you could also get a signed copy at talk shop live i'll be signing book plates for
the next three days like consecutively hopefully my hand doesn't fall off. But I actually love, I love calligraphy and writing.
And that's actually a fun activity for me.
It is.
And it makes you feel famous.
Like I loved doing it.
Oh, for sure.
And I'm just going to sit at my desk signing things.
Like that's actually a lovely afternoon for me.
It is.
Like maybe, you know, some cooking show in the background.
Yes.
I need to talk about our
cooking show update because there is a show that everyone is recommending so much so that my friend
Rebecca like texted me to tell me about this show also girl meets farm oh I've heard of it is it
food network yeah she said it's everything that we're looking for oh okay and everybody wrote in the comments girl meets farm all right and i think she's half
jewish obsessed yeah so that's what i'm gonna do next because that's really my vibe is a cooking
show right now that's what i'm gonna do thank you for the update yeah welcome should we we could
and we should probably dive into the fast five stories that you need to know
but that's true before we do i have something to say wow yeah me today's me today's episode
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poise.com. Thank you, Jax. Today's episode is also brought to you by Lululemon, specifically the leggings from Lululemon.
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Head to squarespace.com slash Toast to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain using code toast thank you claudia what can i say
except you're welcome the stories today are kind of like updates from a lot of stories throughout
the week gorgeous that's a perfect way to round out the week like fully informed i find that it's
a great way to round out the week yeah of course like we recorded a little early yesterday the second we
wrap lawsuit so sophie turner that's the first story today sophie turner sues joe jonas for
the return of their two kids to england as the tumultuous divorce gets messier so sophie turner
is suing her estranged husband joe jonas for the return of their two daughters to her home country
england uh sophie filed the lawsuit in a manhattan court on thursday requesting to secure quote the husband Joe Jonas for the return of their two daughters to her home country England.
Sophie filed the lawsuit in a Manhattan court on Thursday requesting to secure quote the immediate return of children wrongfully removed or wrongfully retained.
Turner claims in the filing that the wrongful retention began on September 20th.
Turner also claims she and the Jonas Brothers band member agreed over Christmas 2022 that
they would make the UK their forever home.
Yeah wait okay I read the actual I watched a video of a girl reading the actual
lawsuit and it was very interesting. This whole thing is very interesting. I mean,
it's horrible. Like it's actually, when I saw the headline yesterday, it gave me such a pit.
Like this is about to get so nasty and drawn out. I mean, the, the fact that like now they're fighting over continents that the kids are
going to live on,
like it's adds a layer that most divorces probably don't have when it comes
to a custody battle.
And,
but the interesting thing was just that they plan to live in the UK.
That's where they wanted to like put down roots.
And they have been there.
So in last Christmas,
they decided that like that was going to be their permanent residence. In April, they moved there
and bought a house.
The house is under renovation.
It should be done in December,
but they've been living
like in a rental there.
They enrolled the kids in like school,
in the programs after school,
you know, the classes, whatever.
And in the summer,
he was going out on tour
and she was going to film a TV show.
So while she was filming the TV show,
the kids were to be with him in America on tour.
She was going to be done September 14th
and then she would go meet them in New York at the show,
grab the kids and go back to their house
and their house was going to be ready in a month or two.
And she did her TV show.
She went, that's remember, we saw her at the concert.
She came to America and he's like hiding the passports.
This is all what it says in the lawsuit and won't let the kids return to the
UK,
even though they had this plan,
but the plan did not,
you know,
include him filing for divorce in August.
The,
the lawsuit also stated that Sophie Turner found out about the divorce
filing from the news,
like everybody else.
Well, but then Joe, you know, obviously his lawyers acted immediately, released a statement
and said, that's not true.
They had a conversation.
They fought on his birthday in August.
They had a big fight on his birthday and she knew that he was filing for divorce.
Yeah.
But I wonder if like TMZ and everyone like knew that they knew that there was a divorce
coming.
Remember, there was like all that news right before he filed.
So it's like if they're waiting for the moment that he filed,
maybe she did find out that that moment he filed from the media.
She didn't know that, you know, her marriage wasn't going well
and that he was thinking about divorce and they were divorcing or separated.
But like the moment that he filed,
probably TMZ found it out at the same time her lawyers did.
Yeah.
So that makes sense
this is just the craziest saga in my opinion like the way it was rolled out was so bizarre
it's so messy and it's so sad because there's kids involved and like like you said it's about
you know continence and custody and it's just it's really it's horrible um but I so just never
in my life expected this like no this is like as nasty as it
could get and it's only gonna get worse especially as they both fight to keep the the kids and in
different countries like they're gonna have to bring out everything that they have against the
other person in order to get their way like the way this gives me such a pit this is horrible
because I mean I think it takes you know two people to I don't
think one of them was like the bad actor in their relationship but like both of them deserve to be
with their kids but that's like kind of impossible when they're going to choose to live in different
countries I saw an actually funny tweet that I want to quote I don't want to paraphrase I'll ruin it but how
this whole thing has just rolled out so bizarrely where at first it really seemed like Joe was like
in charge of the narrative and somebody just put it so well okay I can't find it it was just like
Joe Jonas like severely overestimated how many people would be team Joe Jonas yeah yeah I mean the idea of like trying to get people on
teams yeah but that's like a it plays a factor like in the court of public opinion yeah and I
and I'm sure to some degree in a court right right I also I have to
imagine that wherever the like a judge decrees that the kids can live the other will go like
you know if they're forced to stay in America like I do believe Sophie will live here I believe she's
lived here for quite some time and if they're allowed to go to the UK with their mother I
imagine he'll like take up permanent residence there neither one of them appear to be like
deadbeat parents right they're fighting really hard right right and they're both like
like we know Joe is like so family oriented and I feel like more often than not like the judge
will side with the mother yeah especially because they had this plan this is where their roots are
they haven't they just bought a house there's. Kids in school. You can't like really just uproot them.
But that's why if he wants to uproot them,
he's going to throw everything at her.
Which I think is what we've been seeing.
I don't think it's started yet.
No, but I think like this narrative of her being out,
party late night, like she's never seen her kids.
It's like, this is all part of a plan.
Oh, it's so nasty it's so bad and I feel like the fact that you know divorce filings are public information and
it's it's honestly like it's too personal like I would prefer to not know what's going on yeah
agreed and last night of course you know he started crying on stage when he sang the song
hesitate which is about Sophie and little bird he like dedicated to the parents this song little And last night, of course, you know, he started crying on stage when he sang the song Hesitate,
which is about Sophie.
And Little Bird, he like dedicated to the parents.
This song, Little Bird, is like kind of becoming like.
Like a triggering song.
Yeah.
You saw Nick was crying last week over Little Bird. A couple of days ago.
Yeah.
Sad.
I did.
There's a lot going on in House to Jonas.
And to be honest, I am not enjoying being a spectator.
No.
But it's my job.
Yeah.
Well, our next story is some more Sophie news
because she went out again with Taylor Swift.
They were spotted having dinner twice in one week in New York City.
They stepped out for their second girls night
at the city's Barriere Phuket Hotel.
Phukets.
I've eaten there.
Yeah. Not me eaten there. Yeah.
Not me eating there before Taylor.
Like I'm so attracted.
They didn't say it was Taylor's first time,
but it does feel like a new place.
I've only started seeing it recently.
Yeah.
It's a hotel downtown and they have like a delicious restaurant.
It's just like a really nice,
cute boutique,
like French looking hotel.
Le Tour de Loo.
Le Tour de Loo.
They definitely have amazing loos.
Actually,
I've used the loo there.
It was quite lovely.
And they dined with Heim.
Oh my God.
Like enough.
Like,
does anybody feel that?
Like enough.
Yeah,
but like when
Sophie,
Taylor,
and Heim,
like they all
kind of look the same.
Don't you find?
Like, Haim ties them all together.
They look like they could be five sisters.
Honestly, it's not a bad call.
I think Sophie looks more like Haim than Taylor does.
Yeah.
But Sophie's, like, the bridge between Taylor and Haim looking.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I love this for Sophie.
Like, I think it's probably really easy to, like, curl up in a ball and go missing.
But like we were just saying, like, how you're perceived by the media and by people, like,
plays in a very sadly, plays an important role in how this all could play out.
So if she appears to be like, you know, out and about in good spirits with her gal pals,
like, and people are eating this up, like loving every moment of Taylor and Sophie together. spirits with her gal pals. And people are eating this up,
like loving every moment of Taylor and Sophie together.
It's good for her.
And I'm sure Taylor's a great friend to,
a shoulder to cry on.
You don't think people could take the opposite away from it?
Like she's out, she's a mother.
No, mothers have to eat.
I'm just saying.
I don't think so.
They're going to respectable restaurants at reasonable hours.
Plus with America's sweetheart.
Right.
Oh, and a group of sisters.
It's all good.
It's Hamish.
It's Hamish.
It's Hamish.
Yeah.
I think it works in her favor.
Yeah.
Plus, I'm sure the kids are with Joe at the moment because he won't return them.
So no no.
I saw her.
She was with them yesterday.
Yeah she was.
But like they go to bed and she has to eat.
I'm not.
I'm just saying this is what people say.
No I know people are like dumb and not able to like critically think.
No I think it's good. people are like dumb and not able to like critically think. No,
I think it's good.
I also think it's interesting how like there was clearly a strategy to this
whole thing from team Joe and it does,
it appeared like in the beginning that Sophie was kind of like ambushed into
this narrative and very quickly she got her shit together.
Like she's on the bounce back.
She's on the offense now.
And I love it.
Lawyered up,
suing. Lawyered up, the lawsuit like you know is out and about being photographed with America's sweetheart like she got her shit together. But i also feel like it didn't get super real for her
until the last few days when they were supposed to be returned to England like everything was
still like going according to plan but then it was September 20th she didn't get the kids
passports. So he he filed for divorce
in miami and there is a um and i'm gonna botch this like legal language so just pardon me but
there was an order because he had filed and he filed in in florida in the u.s it was like the
kids can't go anywhere so when she went to take the kids, it like violated that order, but him,
that order violated their pre existing plan.
Right.
But so it's like,
it's very suits,
you know,
I don't know.
It's like everybody's manipulating the law and like making,
you know,
their own case with it.
Yeah.
And that's the law.
It's reason free from passion.
If that's not the truth i know are you ready for our next story yeah some taylor news travis kelsey admits he invited
taylor to a chief's game and he's waiting to see what happens amid the dating rumors
the more this man talks the less respect i have for him and the more I'm convinced
these two people have never spoken in their lives,
not even on text.
Yeah, during an appearance at the Pat McAfee show
on Thursday, Travis Kelsey.
Wait, not Pat McAfee,
like making so much news recently.
Like here's my question.
Who is Pat McAfee?
He's a newsmaker.
But I feel like I've seen him on the podcast charts,
but he has an ESPN show. Like I'm like I've seen him on the podcast charts.
But he has an ESPN show.
Like, I'm confused.
I don't know her.
But he's a big name, for sure.
I've heard of him, I think.
Yeah, I mean, Aaron Rodgers,
you know,
riff-raff to him,
did his first post-injury interview there.
I think he's been on twice. Yeah, he was cracking jokes.
Right.
Yeah. I don't know who's Pat
McAfee it's like I never heard this person's name and now I can't get him out of my mouth yeah that
when it rains it pours so true anyways Travis admitted he invited Taylor to one of his games
amid rumors the pairs are spending time together he said I told her quote I've seen you rock the
stage in Arrowhead you might have to come seen you rock the stage in Arrowhead.
You might have to come see me rock a stage at Arrowhead
and we can see which one's a little more lit.
Like the fact that he even thinks of Chief's Game
is going to be more lit than a Taylor Swift concert.
Like, first of all, get a grip.
Second of all, I'm in my hater era.
Like the way he talks is so cringe
because that's not how he said it.
I've seen you light up Lake Arrowhead.
Once you see me come light up Arrowhead too, we could see which one's more lit like shut up shut up like he's
giving cringe stand there and look pretty yeah no seriously like shut up and throw i've seen you
rock the stage stop it's cringe like why do you have to say it like that and his intonation too
i've seen you rock the stage at era his stadium like it's cringe he's like
talking in cursive the way he's done such a 180 on himself if he has a publicist his publicist
needs to tell him to shut up for the foreseeable future and honestly he's starting to like mar the
great name of the kelsey brethren like jason can do no wrong jason keeps jason keeps getting asked
about this so now it's like jason kelsey's news. And honestly, I'm like, shut up, Jason.
Like seriously, Travis needs to shut up.
So I don't think Travis has a publicist.
They never dated.
Travis is just Travis-ing.
This is who he's always been.
He's just being authentic.
As much as it's like cringe,
you were cringing after the Super Bowl,
like when he was running around town.
I was, but you know what?
You're right.
He has always been this way.
It's not like he's putting on this
personality like this is who he is but when we got it in doses it was acceptable we're at the
point of overexposure now and this is just the nature of celebrity the cycle of likability you
like you're bothering me now I know but all he has to do is throw well and and he's fine no by the
way the reason catching Kelsey this was a bad move because by the way, the reason Catching Kelsey.
This was a bad move because at the end of the day, there is literally
no truth to these rumors.
And he has been
like letting people think that
and now he's taking it a little far.
And one thing about Taylor, she hates shit
like this. Oh, for sure. Like he's never
going to get a date with her, but I think she would be
flattered by this. It's like, oh, the hunkiest man like I I'm Taylor and she doesn't like him perhaps in the
beginning she would be flattered by it but now it's really not flattered enough to like go out
with him but it's like let the whole world see this like hunky dreamboat Travis Kelsey like just
wants a piece of me like that's flattering period I know she would never but I would absolutely love for like
Taylor via her representation to be like I like Travis and Taylor are not dating they've never
even spoke just like Travis can be like put in not not totally but like he's just having fun
like have fun like by yourself leave Taylor out of it yeah but it's just like it's so funny
you know it was fun at first when he was like when he said he like he made the friendship bracelet
with his phone number and she rejected like it was fun at first. But for him to like really fuel these rumors to the point where it was being widely reported
as true and like let people think that and like drop little hints and then now go on
the show and be like, well, I told her she could rock the stage.
Like I it's too much.
It is too much in my opinion.
I need to know in what medium he told her.
Was it a two-way communication?
Was it an unopened DM?
Right, right, right, right.
Taylor's not checking her DMs.
No, no.
But was it a text?
Does he have her number?
Right, like how did he say that?
Yeah.
How did he say that?
Did she hear it?
Like, I'm kind of, I'm over Travis Kelsey like this has put a
bad taste in my mouth I have to tell you as someone who listens to you all the time you've
been over him no I know but like not completely I was just saying like I remember with SNL I was
like I feel like we're getting to the point a little bit of like overexposure like he needs
to take a break and he did take a break and he came back more annoying than ever that's just who he is if he drops my name then I owe him nothing
what Taylor said what Taylor said I hashtag I stand with Taylor even though like Taylor Kelsey
is an incredibly cute name but I digress it's never happening Travis Swift that's so what
Taylor's gonna to do.
Like her man's going to take her name.
Yeah.
Are you ready for our next story?
No.
Why?
I just feel like we're racing through the story.
It's like, what's the rush?
You have somewhere to be, like a child to tend to?
No.
Is there someone else in your life more important than me?
Are we really racing through the stories? I don't know. I feel like we're talking to them to? No. Is there someone else in your life more important than me? Are we really
racing through the stories? I don't know. I feel like we're talking to them to death. Are we? I
don't know. It's so interesting how two people can be experiencing the same moment so differently.
Yeah I don't feel like we're racing through them but I guess the clock would let me know.
Right and I think the clock would say you're racing.
Oh, okay.
I'll slow down.
Good.
Now are you ready for our next story?
No.
Why not?
Is it the next story that's brought to you by Skims perhaps?
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Thank you Claudia.
Our next story, people who
are in fact dating.
Kylie Jenner reveals her new boyfriend
Timothee Chalamet is her phone background.
Yes.
Kylie and Timothee's new romance
is on lock, literally. funny the kardashian star
accidentally revealed her phone background while posing for a snap in milan on thursday giving fans
a glimpse of her lock screen which features timothy kissing her on the cheek the sweet
selfie was which was visible on kylie's phone showed him softly planting his lips on the reality
star while she smiled for the camera.
It's unclear whether she was aware her phone was switched on when the candid photo was taken
or if it was an accident. What do you think? Now, raise your hand if you thought it was a picture
of Kylie and Stormi. Like he has such a baby face. I literally thought and it was like a really
zoomed in picture of something like they're like cheek to cheek and it's like each one of their eyes are in the photo it literally
looked like a child and their mother um which I thought was cute and then when I realized the
truth I thought it was even cuter um I don't know if it was an accident or on purpose I just think
she doesn't care like the secret's out now you know it's been a while that there have been like
rumors whispers they went to the Beyonce concert they were all over New York Fashion Week the US
Open like we know they're together and so she's not hiding anymore yeah I I don't I yeah I don't think it
was like intentional like she doesn't have to be so subtle um but it's like a big like I think as
a celebrity you know that whatever your phone background is people will see at some point I
think that's something that you like keep in mind when you're choosing a background it wouldn't be
ever be something like super personal to you that you wouldn't want out so again it's just like
another step like Kylie is very much into this relationship like proud of it happy to enjoy it
and ready to share it with the public and like really not holding back yeah no I thought it was
really cute and I'm loving this uh Milan moment for Kylie she went to the Prada show she looked
fabulous she made a bunch of TikToks she's just like having fun I feel like this happens a
lot with Kylie in like timed with her pregnancies where she's very low-key during and after her
pregnancy until she really feels comfortable enough to come back and she's like at a place
in her fame and her business where she doesn't have to immediately come back and like start
promoting products and being on the show like right's not like. Right. She takes her time and then there's like a moment,
there's a switch and she's like back so fully
going to all the events she wants to go to,
dating people, being out and about,
being photographed, being fabulous.
And so I think what we're seeing now is that switch
where she's all over.
Yeah, but she's been doing that.
She did that last year in Milan Fashion Week, I think it was.
She's just kind of like a fashion girl.
Oh, yeah.
She just like, I feel like she goes so hard for like a week or so.
We'll see her everywhere.
She's out and about.
And then she goes home and hibernates.
And it's just like mom Kylie with her family and super private.
Yeah.
Even in the last few months, I feel like she's been private just getting to know Timothée.
Yeah, no, because if you think about when we first heard the reports
and remember her car was
outside his house and then a few weeks later we got the aerial photo with the cigarettes um that
was a really long time ago so this might feel fast for some people but let's me not forget it's been
months yeah by now this is a serious relationship because even the car pictures like I think they
probably were getting to know each other weeks before that. Like they could be together six months now.
Maybe longer actually.
That's her man.
That's crazy.
I'm really coming around to it.
So am I.
I was so put off.
I like was so not able to visualize these two people together.
It actually made no sense to me.
And I think that came from like a general lack
of understanding like of, you know,
Timothee Chalamet for me.
I'm not a number one fan.
I don't really get him.
But Kylie's making me making me sick yeah and i just ship kylie in love like and kylie's happiness and
and her her i trust her entirely enjoying her life that's what i'm a fan of so whoever's that
lucky fella is i support it it's nice it is It is nice. Happy for Kylie.
Me too.
And this is a cute picture, by the way.
Like, it was just, like, very regular.
Like, candid.
Normal girl tings.
A girl in love.
You'd love to see it.
Now, slowly, slowly, we shall make our way to the fifth and final story.
It's the final story.
Because all week we've been talking about the advancement of female cooking shows.
Okay.
And Cameron Diaz has heard our cries.
What?
She's ditching her salad and whipping up cheesy chicken nachos
in a cooking video for her wine Instagram account.
Oh.
Yeah.
I was misleading.
Cameron Diaz is back in the kitchen.
She shared how she prepares.
Was she ever there?
Who knows?
But now, like most of us, she's going back.
Right.
Because you can only go so far as a woman
before they drag you back to the kitchen.
Cameron Diaz shared how she prepares her favorite snack
of rotisserie chicken nachos in a new cooking video.
Ew. Chicken nachos? a new cooking video. Ew.
Chicken nachos?
Yeah, that doesn't.
We're not supposed to like eat meat and cheese together as Jews.
And I don't do that.
But because of Judaism, like I think it's disgusting.
Like cheese all over meat.
Excuse me?
Yeah, it just feels gross.
Chicken parmesan.
That's the only I knew you were going to that that is the only acceptable burger i don't like uh that joe's lasagna we just watched
i actually like it looked good but i don't eat lasagna okay and even with chicken parm which
is my like in my opinion the only acceptable to, like, smother cheese on meat,
it has to be really good.
Like, really thin.
Like, I won't just eat any ordinary chicken parm.
What about your daily lunch of grilled chicken Caesar wrap?
Ooh, you got me there.
Different.
It's like a sprinkle of cheese.
Like, I don't like, like, melted cheese all.
There's a difference.
Well, you don't like melted cheese all over anything, not just meat. I like a grilled cheese. I's a difference like melted cheese all over anything not just
meat i like a grilled cheese i like a pizza pizza p-i-z-e-a i want pizza that was that era of um
mary-kate and ashley nothing will ever be as good brother for sale 25 50 cents so good so good it's just no matter what advancements we
have in music entertainment the arts it'll never be what dual star brought us and that's just
something we have to live with that was their production company was it i didn't know that's
what made all their movies dual star oh my god now that I think
about it it's because they were two stars I love a play on words dual star bring us back bring us
back it's so true anyways Cameron Diaz did a little cooking show on her Instagram she said
hi it's Cameron it's ma moi pardon me welcome back kitchen. Today, she's making nachos with chicken.
Close your ears, Claudia.
Zucchini, corn, and a cilantro cream.
So she posted this on her wine Instagram account, Aveline.
So she's obviously trying to, you know, create buzz for the wine.
Because otherwise.
One thing about Cameron.
She only leaves her house for her wine company these days.
She's going on a podcast.
She's promoting Aveline. She's doing Instagram content. going on a podcast she's promoting Aveline she's doing Instagram content there's a swipe up link for
Aveline yeah so because she like doesn't really participate in the world of celebrity so like
this is something that no other celebrities do she's fully retired she made a hundred million
dollars from the Shrek franchise like she's fine yeah no I'm not concerned about her finances
and I think she like really was able to get out of Hollywood
realizing how toxic it was.
And I think she has a very normal life.
Yes, which is beautiful.
You know, as normal as it can be when you made $100 million.
Yeah, but you know what?
You could spend it quickly.
Maybe she wants another home.
Get back in the kitchen.
Give me five minutes.
Get back in the kitchen.
Get to work.
So I respect the hustle.
How like anytime we're going to be talking about Cameron Diaz
in the, you know, in perpetuity, it's because she did something to promote the wine.
Also, it's because she's doing something that she genuinely wants to do.
It's not like she has to.
That's refreshing.
It is.
And I also feel like she heard the toast this week that we were crying out for better female
cooking shows and she took a stab at it.
We respect.
I honestly, anytime we're going to talk about Cameron Diaz I'm overjoyed to do it and see that's the opposite of the Travis
Kelsey effect under exposure like we we get no Cameron Diaz now like for the last maybe five
years we don't get Cameron Diaz content and anytime we do whether she's making waves I think she was
at Sofia Richie's wedding like anytime she's
doing something like it's so exciting because we get nothing okay but Travis doesn't have that
luxury because his job requires him to be on tv once a week for sure but like there are a lot of
NFL players who are on tv and we don't talk about them yeah also I was watching the end of the
football game last night go Niners they won and I was watching these like post-game interviews with the players and it's like do they have
to do those interviews because that just feels like the last thing I would want to do.
And I'm looking at that and I'm like you don't want to.
And I feel bad for the reporter who's having to ask them.
No it's horrible.
It's bad for everyone.
Yeah they have to go.
Remember there was that Seattle Seahawks player who literally would show up and be like I'm
only here so I don't get fined.
No but that was like the press he would get asked conference which I
imagine is part of the job like on the field like you just won your game you're thirsty and you're
tired you have to stand there and answer questions about like what you just did that we just saw
yeah I just I don't know how they're wrangling them to do that no I believe it's a contractual
obligation yeah the reporter did a really good job, though. She had a great energy.
And there was no...
Yeah, they call that sideline reporting.
Yeah, there was no bad moments.
It was really cute, actually.
But I was just like, damn, that's the last thing I want to do.
She interviewed the MVPs.
From the Niners?
From the game, yeah.
Brock Purdy and the other guy, I think his name was Deebo.
Wait, I really, I've been like a bad 49ers fan,
like keeping up with my team.
I'm sorry.
Who is the quarterback?
Brock Purdy.
Purdy Lou.
Purdy Lou.
Who was the quarterback that like got injured?
Jimmy Garoppolo.
Oh, so he's still out, Garoppolo.
According to the end of the game that I saw last night.
He's like, literally, I know he's like super accomplished. He's one of the game that I saw last night. He's, like, literally, I know he's, like, super accomplished.
He's one of the most handsome men I've ever seen in my life.
Like, I just think it can't be overstated.
But Brock was doing his thing.
The team looked really good.
Cool, cool, cool.
How was my boy Kyle?
He was so good.
And I came on towards the end of the game where the reporter on air was raving about him.
How he's kind of, like, the fix-it man of the team like in the play like if a play is going wrong it's like
because kyle he's just like a very smart guy and has been on the team for so long and knows these
plays inside and out like he can fix it on the ground and like christian mccaffrey was just like
raving about kyle as a player and as a man like this, you know, the reporter was saying what Christian had said.
Paraphrasing.
Yeah, it was like secondary source.
But that he just like loves playing with him.
And I was like, it's Kyle.
No, like it's kind of like our Kyle.
Yeah, no, I felt really like proud.
Yeah, very proud.
Oh man, I got to get back in.
I forgot that like football,
I forgot that I like
was a fan of football I mean and the reporters were also saying that like they're really looking
again at San Francisco and Philadelphia like those are the teams to watch which they were last year
too and I guess Kansas City because they were in the Super Bowl right well so San Francisco and the
Eagles like can never oh yeah because they were talking about the NFC that's why they said they're
the ones to watch right they're in the same league yeah Oh, yeah, because they were talking about the NFC. That's why. They said they're the ones to watch in the NFC. Right, they're in the same league. Yeah.
Does that make any sense?
Oh, how exciting.
It's so exciting.
Like, when you're from New York,
like, literally all your teams stink,
except for the Yankees.
Like, the Mets are horrible.
The Jets are horrible.
The Knicks are horrible.
So it's like, you just kind of come to expect,
like, your team to lose.
So taking stake in another team,
this, you know, like the 49ers,
it's so exciting because, like,
they're actually good.
Yeah, and they played a New York team last night.
I forget if it was the Bills or the Giants.
Oh, I really should have been watching that.
Yeah, you know what?
I can't believe I'm going to say this.
I found it to be very soothing just watching the football.
Interesting.
I don't know.
I'm just like not up for complex content,
which is also why I'm like looking for cooking shows.
Just like, and I don't know. I was watching the end of is also why I'm like looking for cooking shows. Just like, yeah.
And I don't know.
I was watching the end of the game.
I was like kind of sad it was over.
So are you saying you've been waiting all day for Sunday night?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I actually just watched a very long TikTok video breaking down like the the song and
the people who have sang it and asking people who they thought was the best.
I did not know.
I know that it was Carrie Underwood.
And then I knew before that it was Faith Hill.
I didn't know before that it was Pink.
I didn't know that either.
Yeah.
And I'm not talking about, oh, son.
I'm talking about, wait, no.
It's like a, it's a cover with new lyrics of a Joan Jett song.
Waiting all day for Sunday night.
And honestly, I'm going to have something crazy controversial to say
because they played all three performances.
And you know whose I thought was best?
No.
Faith Hill.
Faith Hill.
And maybe it's just because I can't visualize a time in which Faith Hill
was the it girl of music.
Because really that was before my time.
So it just always feels kind of random for me, like Faith Hill.
But she was that bitch for many, many years.
That might be how some younger people feel about Carrie Underwood, though.
Right, right.
Not I.
Like I totally get, I get Pink getting the gig.
Like I totally get that.
But it's crazy that she got it before Faith Hill.
Pink really has staying power. Like say what you want about her she she's that bitch I love her we
really by the way she's gonna be in New York on your birthday this year at MSG yeah oh goodness
me that's something to consider goodness you is right that's something to consider consider it
consider it considered I was just gonna say that that's when you know
it's time to end the show when it's time to go the toast week as we embark on a meaningful weekend
yeah me and ben were talking we're talking about this morning it's kind of technically a long
weekend but like not because i'd rather go back to work on monday and do what we have to do
what are you gonna have have Sunday night for dinner?
Oh, Sunday night.
I don't know.
That's like one of the bad things about Ozempic is like I can't engorge myself
on Sunday night because I'll make myself sick.
Yeah, it's so hard.
It is.
Thinking of you. Thank is. Thinking of you.
Thank you.
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