The Toast - Whoopi Was Robbed: Tuesday, May 12th, 2026

Episode Date: May 12, 2026

1. Meet Your 2026 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover Models (Sports Illustrated Swimsuit) (19:00) 2. Inside NBCUniversal, Fox and Amazon's 2026 Upfront (26:26) 3. Kylie Kelce Gives 5 Word Speech After Winning Webby for Podcast of the Year (PEOPLE) (33:18) 4. Biking Benedict Cumberbatch has heated, 10-minute ‘road rage’ fight with cyclist (Page Six) (37:42) 5. Florence Pugh to Star in The Midnight Library Film Adaptation (PEOPLE) (48:59) - Dear Toasters Advice Segment (51:45) The Toast with Jackie (@JackieOshry) and Claudia Oshry (@girlwithnojob) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Toast Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Toast Merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Girl With No Job by Claudia Oshry ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Camper & The Counselor⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lean In⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jackson Claude favorite show the fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off, Swirley. It's the Toast. I sound amazing. Welcome back to the Toast. Happy Tuesday. Actually, it feels more like Tuesday because it's kind of the breaking news that Sports Illustrated has finally chosen someone. Chosen for, of course.

Some few, yeah. The covers came out this morning. Of course, we'll get into it in the stories. Our predictions were correct. been more wrong. Whoopi Goldberg is on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Whoopoldberg is your 2026, Sports Illustrated. Rookie of the year.

Rookie of the year. I know that they were scrambling, and I know they're going to work it out for next year. But I'm excited to discuss the covers. Which we will do in the first story. Which we will do in the first story. Hey, Jax, how you derr? Beyond the covers, how are we, Dern? I'm Dern good.

You know, great, great Tuesday, starting off on a good foot. What did I do yesterday? I had a fun day. Oh, I was cooking for them kids. We had all the kids over. Made some meatballs. Made some pasta. I had a meatball in a minute.

Yeah. No. And I took a break and now I'm making them like once a week again. So good. Such an easy weeknight dinner. The thing with meatballs is like once you have them, you kind of get into like a toxic cycle where you have them like a couple of times like a week. And then you hate them so you stop eating them.

And then like a month goes by and you're like, wait, why don't I make meatballs anymore? And just thus continues the vicious cycle. But what I like about the meatballs that we make is they could really be like dressed up or down for any occasion. You could go Italian. You could go like Thai, you know? Tie. You could go a little like Asian fusion. Just personally, like I like my meatballs Italian.

But you love Melinda's. I do love Melinda's Thai chili seasoning. Not in my meatballs in my lettuce. in my Thai chicken lettuce wraps, yes. But a lettuce wrap is just a deconstructed meatball. Well, so that's also a part of growing up is realizing like eight different meals are just made the exact same way,

but like in different forms. So like you have your ground meat, your onion, your garlic. Like the cheese cassidia is the grilled cheese of the South. I guess it is except that like grilled cheese. I'm sorry, anyone who puts even a tomato in their grilled cheese is fucking crazy. Like a grilled cheese with eight dollars,

worth of Yarlsburg is perfect, right? So it's like, are we going to have... Ketitia is like better when you add veggies, meat. Like, it's not just cheese, but I hear what you're saying. Are we going to have cheese and dough this way or that way today? Yeah, are we going to have ground meat and onions this way or that way? Like, meatballs, bolognese. Like, you could literally do chicken lettuce wraps, like, tacos meat.

Like, it's all the same ingredients with, like, different seasonings. Yeah, but it's also, it's very like, you know, worldly experience. Where are we going to dine this evening around the world? Last evening I dined at Zabars. You had Zabars for dinner? Yeah, you know, I picked up. I was being so, I've actually been like so chill lately. Very grab a slice energy.

Okay. Like when we were in our trip, which I have to update you guys on in a minute. When we were on our trip, we were playing billiards. And Ben was like, this is so grab a slice. And it was like so, like just spending the afternoon playing billiards. And then last night we just like went to the park And it was like four or five o'clock So we were like oh should we pick up

We picked up some like pre-made stuff from Zabar It's like some you know stuff And it was so chill. It was very grab a slice Oh that's nice I've been chill as well Like I feel like last week I was a little too chill Like I think we

Forgot to eat No we ordered in like three I usually like to order like once maybe twice And by order and like either pick something up But like now on Tuesdays like we order pizza With like the- That's so chill of you And like we'll go to the park or something

Like with like the Shapiro kid and it just was sort of born of necessity, but it's very chill and it's very fun. There's something so special about pizza when you're a kid. I guess because it really marks like a celebration. You're eating pizza at like a birthday party or like a gathering. Like pizza and you know what? As an adult I want to say it's just as special.

And it's like the box of pizza. When I see like a stack of boxes, like you know it's on. I know shit's about to go the fuck down. You know it's on and popping. Like what is it about? a pizza that's like so joyous celebratory yeah yeah I don't know if it's the shape like it's just beautiful yeah so I think that we're gonna have a pizza night tonight I need a pizza afternoon I need a slice pizza when I was pregnant I was always treating myself to a slice of pizza I don't know why I stopped doing that

do it treat yourself turtle yeah grab a slice I did want to update everyone about my jewel saga from yesterday because I now feel confident that I was very much underreacting. And there were things that could have gone wrong with this jewel that I didn't even think of until I told the story. And then people in the comments were like, yeah, and jewels are known for just like randomly exploding facts. I didn't even think of the fact that like Ruby could have found it and like started chewing on it. Like I wasn't thinking.

He could have like broken off a piece of it. It's a choking hazard. It was so much worse. It was under the mattress. Thank God. I of course heard from the facility. Now, it's wrong that I only heard from them because I have a podcast. You know what I mean?

What about the mothers with jewels in their cribs who don't have a podcast? Like, it's wrong. But you're doing it for them. Yes. And full transparency, I did get my entire trip. Combed, which is not even what I wanted. I really thought that they had made it right, maybe comping like one night or like a free massage at the spa.

Now they ended up spending more money and getting their name direct through the mud because they couldn't have just been generous or just like done the right thing. So just full transparency, I did get a full refund. And let this be your sign to all the mom. is out there. Like you're not underreacting and you should make it a bigger deal. But then you hate to be like, oh, you're only giving me a $250 credit because it's like, well, that's not why I'm mad. Like, you know what I mean? Like it makes it seem like you're only getting mad so you get a credit. No, no, no. I just, I don't feel like that feels that way. I don't. Yeah. Somebody said, like,

if you've ever set up a pack and play too, you would know that you need a vape. The stress. A teenager who has no idea to set up a pack and play. Like, obviously he was stressed, puffing on that jewel. Okay. And they can like do a little less and just drop the pack and play at your room and the parents know how to set it up. And I actually think that that should be like a hotel policy in general. Yeah. Like I don't need someone's like hands touching. Yeah.

I was actually shocked when it arrived fully assembled. I was quite thrilled. I'm not going to lie. Yeah. I don't know. I guess if we didn't arrive assembled, we'd be like, oh my gosh. Or sometimes they'd set a crib and it's like, who's going to put this crib together? This script for me?

It's not going to be me. Plus they know how their things work. Every pack and play has an old. quirk. So they made it right. They made it right. We're all good. We're all, we're fine. And you did say other like nice things about the hotel. Yeah, in general, that's not like a thing that we subscribe to like putting like a business on blast or whatever. But you were also just talking about the hotel in general in the spa and the divot for the breast. And so like we just wanted to know what hotel you were at. The divot for the breasts. You didn't like say it to be like,

and you, Naturicarta, Mohegan, son. Don't bring Mohiagan son into this. They would never. Wait, what? I thought you said it's the Mohegan. What? The name of... Not you're disparaging more businesses. No, Mohegan Sun is in Connecticut. The name of the collection of hotels.

I don't want to say it again, because they made it right and it's all good. That is like the parent company, yes. Oh, I thought it was Mohegan's son. I haven't ever actually been to Mohegan Sun as like a born and bred New Englander. By the way, am I in New England? No. No. Okay, I said New England over the weekend.

I was like, I don't think I'm actually like in New England. So northeast. As a born and bred northeasterner, I've never been to Mohegan Sun. And it's sort of like a right of passage. I think we should go. Yeah, I feel like our time past, we thought, like, there was a time where we should have gone, for sure.

Yeah, yeah. You know, when we used to go to like Fox Trots. Foxwoods. Atlantic City. Yeah, yeah. We should have had a Mohican Sun weekend, but they're always having fire concerts. Yeah.

You know, so if you're out there and you want to go, you should go. It's never too late. Actually, it is too late to go to Mohegan Sun for some people. For us. But, like, there's no time like the present is what I meant to say. That's beautiful. There's no time like the present.

It is Tuesday, which means we have dear toasters. And I took some of the feedback from the DTQ, you know, the ever present DTQ. It was getting dark. Just to, like, scale back a little bit on the darkness. I found them interesting, but I agree. Like, that's not what this podcast is about. I'm sorry for, like, all the pedophilia and like sex crimes. It's my bad.

It's such a buzzkill. A thousand percent. So we've got some lighthearted like, you know, P job. My P job, boyfriend. Yeah, the P&P job actually, common misconception, does not stand for pedophile. Like, sorry, guys. Yeah. I forgot to tell you that.

I'm glad to hear that because it was getting a heavy, too heavy load. I see you, I hear you. As always the DTQ, I am your vessel. And I am your messenger. And I will, I will make it right. Good. We actually have so many stories today. I have to sort of like organize them because it's definitely more than five.

And the leftovers from yesterday I didn't make the cut for sure. What was it? Like James Charles. Oh, you know, people really did want to hear your take about that. I know. Oh, mine? Yeah. Why me specifically?

Because you're like a smart, fun, interesting person with the podcast. Is that okay? Yeah, yeah, sure. Happy, happy to oblige. My take is like he wants to get backlash. Like no person in their right mind. Right. goes on a rant like that.

That is like textbook what you can say. Polarizing, yeah. Like he wants all of this. This is like maybe things were a little quiet on the James Charles front. Charles front. Do I have to have him on namesake? James Charles. James?

Oh. Charles. I guess it's like, last names don't count. I guess like I could have him on namesake if I wanted to. You know who we have to have on namesake? Who? Charles from younger. Oh.

David Ushery. You guys, when we were in high school, there was, you know, in every yellow cab, there was a taxi TV and they would play with the same four clips. And one of the guys, he's like a local news correspondent who obviously got demoted to the taxi TV segment. His name is David Ushery. U-S-H-E-R-Y.

And he was always like, hey, yeah, in the back seat of the taxi, I'm David Ushery. And it was like, is that my brother? Yeah. It was insane. We will definitely have money. What is up to? What?

Yeah. I wonder what he's up to. He's the local reporter. He's definitely crushing it. I actually think he's risen the ranks quite a bit. And he's like a big local NBC correspondent. We're always rooting for him. I'm always rooting for David Oshery and Chádeh Better-in-Wa.

And Sandy Kenyon. Why Sandy Kenyon is like a toaster? Yeah, no, actually I take it back. I love Sandy Canyon. But back to James Charles. I'm Sandy Kenyon with the eyewitness news. Move a minute. James Charles, like, wants this to be happy.

So all of it to me seems completely like fake because... So for anyone who's unfamiliar, he went on a rant on TikTok over the weekend. Just basically like talking about this message, he got somebody being like, can you donate to my go fund me? And it was like a person who didn't follow him. Someone who got like laid off from Spirit Airlines abruptly when they went Mahola last week. And he just like did this insane fucking rant on like how like why it's influence those responsibilities to donate to go fund me's and like you don't even follow me. And it's like Spirit Airlines get your shit together and go get a job. Like it was a type of thing you think, but you don't.

ever say like ever. No, and he has been an influencer for over a decade. For so long. He knows that that is like a one-way trick ticket to backlash cancellation bill. And I think he wanted a trip there because it is exciting and fun to get on the ride sometimes. And it does like sort of, we're all talking about James Charles. I would say it's exciting and fun, but it is an indicator of success.

Yeah. People who have real followings get backlash. It's like a signal that you are, you know, have an impact that you have influence. If you're shouting into a void, there's no backlash because someone's listening. So it is sort of. like a right of passage. I think he was just doing like a gut check. Are people still listening to me?

Great. Great. I like I actually am not going to like opine on what he meant and whether there was merit because he's baiting all of you and not me. What did you think about it? I agree a thousand percent. You like what why on earth would you say that? I just want to say I do think there's one thing that he said that had merit.

Just one. If you are going to send your go fund me, which you absolutely should to influence. like it's a huge opportunity. Like you should just follow them. Like, right. Just courtesy, you know. It's just,

and also it helps your chances. Absolutely. Of getting that donation. And getting the donation. And getting the donation. It's not even the donation so much as like the platform. Well, it helps your chances of like the visibility within the platform.

But also like your influencer might want to do you a solid. Like if they think that you're a fan of theirs, that would help. And I just want to say there is a lot of, and I don't want to like, you know, I don't want to get canceled for James Charles as a crime. But there is a fair amount of scamming that goes on on GoFundMe. So when you are a person with a platform,

you do have to be really careful about which ones you post. Yeah. It happens a lot. Yeah. I would say the majority of GoFundMe's are like good honest things. But you just got to be careful. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of things.

You know, the internet's a crazy place. You don't know this person. You don't know this account of this account. Like you just don't know. So. Yeah. Just do your best. I think you knew what he was doing.

So like, it's really not my problem. far too seasoned. This is a rookie, rookie rant. Yeah, rookie. Rookie of the year rant. Speaking of rookies, are you ready for our fast five stories? If it's our fast five stories, that's brought you by Salt and Stone. Oh, I saw you just actually posted a Salt and Stone fragrance. I did. So you know I love their body wash. I love their deodorant. And I just saw that they now make a body miss so you can use it as your perfume. The body wash scent that I love so much that I can't get enough of. It is the best brand. It is. So they have new discovery sets that have four cents, which is Santallin, Vettiver. That's mine. That's the one I like.

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Shocking fact I mean is I am a lemon lime girly. So say yes to unforgettable moments with liquid IV's new hydration multiplier, or sugar-free ring pop tear poor live more go to liquid ivy.com and get 20% off your first purchase with code toast at checkout that's 20% off your first purchase with code toas-t-o-a-stie at liquid ivy. Thank you turtivey. You're welcome jurtivey. Why did people want to hear me talk about James Charles because they thought I was going to agree with him? Oh I don't know I just like I thought people wanted to hear you talk about it that's funny no I did I thought like I thought that people wanted us to talk about but now I'm like why they thought I was going to go hard I'm cracking up

no maybe they thought you were going to agree with him for sure for sure um okay first up sports illustrated 2026 cover models have been announced we have four covers Hillary duff Alex Earle Nicole Williams English and Tiffany Haddish so I have so many thoughts like obviously as Alex Earle's like literary number one fan and as of most recently like her inspiration um I love this I do want to say, and this is zero, zero, like, sight against Alex Earl, is it such an obvious choice? And I remember, like, a year or two ago when they first, like, had her on the digital cover. And, like, they should have been brave and, like, taken a chance on a young influencer then. Because now it's like, well, yeah, obviously, you know?

Yeah. And I feel like for always, I mean, I have to just forget this idea of sorts illustrated that I have in my head. Because at one point, like, it was the maker and breaker of things. And now they're just, like, up with trends, like, what's cool now when, like, you know, the plus size movement was in. Hillary Duff is on a tour, so we'll put her on the cover, even though last year she would have never been considered because she's like not doing press. Like, it's just so PR.

I remember when both Zandra and Alex Earle had gotten plucked, I think two years ago, it was such a big deal. And it would have been such a risk and like a statement if they had chosen Alex. And I actually remember saying that she should be on the cover. And then like a few months later they put her on the digital cover. So it's like they had to work up to it. And I just feel like they're not taking chances.

Like I like all the choices. They're not making bold moves like whoopies. like whoopey Goldberg would have been a bold move. Correct. I have zero, literally zero issue with any of these choices. I'm just like not inspired. And I actually think some of the pictures are not good. Like I think they kind of did Hillary Duff Dirty.

She's like her neck looks broken. Yeah. And it's, yeah, there's a difference between like what looks like high editorial, when you look at the covers versus like, oh, I'm on vacation and I took a picture. And we've had that issue in the past. Yes, by the way, what you just said is brilliant. Oh, thanks. Because these days with a G7X,

like I can take these pictures. Yeah, like I'm on vacation. All these influencers, yeah. I want to say covers wise, I think Alex Earle's cover is unreal. Let me look at them all together. I do want to say, I didn't know that Tiffany Haddish was rocking a body like that.

Do you know what I mean? That's why I like sports illustrated. It's always good to like learn of a new body. Beautiful body. Yeah. Like when they did Salma Hayek. Yeah. I guess she's the Salma of this year.

Why are you saying it? that like I was gonna let it slide the first time I really was Salma Salma like Salma I said Salma Hayek Salma Hayek you're putting so much L into it it's like a light I like saying it so it's a light L I like it why because I like it are you looking at the covers yeah I just want to say if you're writing about Sports Illustrated like who the models are and you're not putting the covers in your articles todayshow.com like seriously they must not have the rights or something you have to go to I only found it on at swimsuit.suit.sci.com. Okay. Yeah. Tiffany Haddish's body's insane. Like I had no idea. Nicole Williams English is giving like you know sports

illustrated. Yeah to me I love Nicole Williams English. She's like one of the I don't know her. She's like Courtney's best friend. I think she's going to be on the girls. She's like Olivia, Natalie and Nicole. And she's been in sports illustrates. She announced her pregnancy on the runway of S.I swim. And she's a, um, and she's a nice. other one for me that feels belated, you know? Like now she's just like a classic Sports Illustrated girl and like you should have given her the cover pregnant five years ago. Like that would have been interesting.

It's so funny when I think about trends because I feel like for so many years like boobs where everything boobs are in, boobs out, boobs out. And now I feel like boobs are not, boobs are out and like vagina's in, you know? Oh, I mean, but what about butt? Remember the butt? Well, yeah, but like super high waist of bikinis where you can like see like the I actually feel like. The vagina.

I feel like boobs are coming back. I hope so. Boops were like... These covers are not very booby. Boobes are very like early 2000s and then they went away and then the butt was here for a while. But now I feel like, you know, sea cups are coming back. I don't know why like Hillary's picture is so weird. Don't you find?

Like her position, she looks so like in pain. I feel like that's how she likes to be. You know? I just want to say like these are good. I love Alex's cover. and if this was the one, it would be, if I had to pick one,

I think hers is the best, and I think that it should have been one. And like, you're never gonna catch me loving a four cover announcement. Bring back. And this is not for sports illustrated. But I mean this in the world.

Like bring back just choosing one. Yeah. No, but at this point, we have said this, we say this every single year. I feel like working record. Every single year,

it's four covers. I don't think we're ever going to get one cover ever again. I'm never going to give up hope. But I'm telling you, I will never give a damn about what doing if there's four of them. And if we're never going to get four covers again, fine. We're never going to get an iconic cover ever again.

Nothing can be iconic when you're a part of a group. I'm sorry, we have not had an iconic. When I think of the last like really iconic, I don't know. But also, I also like a couple girls on one cover. That's fine with me. I could have 50 people on one cover. They just want one cover. They did that.

I'm sorry, none of them were wearing bathing suits. They were all wearing gowns. That was awful. That was awful. No, they're stinking it up big time. This is so fine. It's completely fine. Yeah, it's not like exciting or innovative.

I will say if I was. It's not the big deal that it once was. So, okay, let's just move on. If I was, like, wanting to, you know, look deeper into this and be annoying, like, body positive influence, I think these covers really do also reflect that, like, the body positivity movement, like, is over. Like, that is out according to these covers. Not me.

I would never say that. But, like, it's giving, you know. It's giving much like other things, you know. Yeah, trends come and go. I'm just saying, like, if I wanted to make a statement, I would. But I don't want to. Yeah, I can't remember the last time they didn't include, you know, a little something in there. Yeah.

But I guess, like, they're covering different categories here. Yeah, old, young. Mothers. True. Singers. Comedians. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.

I feel fine about this. Like, obviously, I love my girl, Alex. I love Tiffany Haddish. I love Nicole Williams English. Hillary Duff. Although she and I have a complicated relationship. But you've moved past it. Absolutely.

Yeah, but it just, it's just not what it once was. Like, I almost miss when we were just getting to speculate over who the cover was. That was almost more fun than the other. Of course, because it's never going to be as good as our guess is. But I just want to say, like, I do think Alex Earle's cover is really. It's a real cover that feels like a real cover. Yeah, not just like a cat in GS7X on the beach in the Bahamas. Yeah.

And if it was given, you know, more of a pride of place treatment, like it could have been iconic. But now it'll just be forgotten with the rest of these. Well, this is just like a huge sleigh for Alex. Of all the covers, she's probably like the most up and coming technically, even though she's like, she's come, you know? Yeah. She's here.

No, honestly, it's a slave for the other girls. like to be amongst her ranks. Mm-hmm. Well, that was fun. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm. Major upfrents, like, all happened yesterday.

I saw that the upfriends were happening. NBC Universal, Fox, and Amazon all hosted upfriends yesterday, and we got a lot of new show, canceled show information. So upfronts are like B-to-B events where the networks, like, host these huge events for, like, their advertisers and their partners announcing what shows are coming, what shows are leaving. It's like a big programming update. And they often make it like a big spectacle. They have a lot of celebrities and attendance, you know, partners.

Yeah, to get everyone excited and drum up interest in the coming programming slate. So here's what we have from NBCU. First of all, they played a clip from the Summer House reunion. They did. Yeah, where they were talking about West's like exclusive relationship. It was like a sidebar conversation like with Sierra and Kyle and. and someone maybe like, I don't even know.

It wasn't part of like the actual reunion. It was like Hot Mike talking about like West's relationship just to like titillate the viewers. Oh, that's exciting. Yes. Then we had Jimmy Fallon and Bose's show canceled. I was very upset about that.

Even though I didn't watch it. How can you be upset when you didn't watch one episode? I know because I just want like good things for my girl Bose. That's why I'm upset. I don't care about Jimmy Fallon. Like he'll be fine. like I wanted that for Bose. Yeah. Another show like that was announced that we were excited about and that has been

subsequently canceled. I forget what it was but I was like, how can I be mad about this? I did not watch it. I know. And like that's on me for sure. And like I should have like been using my platform to get everyone to watch it. But but I didn't. So. But but we didn't. Then you know, Vin Diesel was there. Tina Faye. Bravo announced a new show. Secrets Lies, Texas. wives. It's giving like reality version of hunting wives. Yeah, it's also

clearly like a play on the secret lives of Mormon wives. Yeah, but I feel like they're trying to like capitalize on the hunting lives phenomenon. Yeah, I found it shocking just because like, I feel like we were talking about this with the Hulu get real event, where Hulu has kind of taken over for Bravo as like the leading unscripted, like destination for unscripted TV shows. So the fact that like they have a show coming out that is, I don't know what it's

really about, but it seems like a play on Secret Lives Mormon wise. It's kind of a big deal. Like, Bravo's always been, like, setting the trends. Now they're sort of following them. Yeah. Also, I saw on Peacock, Madison, LaCroix getting a show. A vertical series.

About, like, you know, a confessional style show with people in her chair as she, like, does their hair. That's cute. Yeah, that is cute. There was another one that was like that. Hold on. I saved it, but I'll have to find it. Um, yeah, like a lot of little shows announced the Real Housewives,

upcoming 20th anniversary, special. Rhode Island Hatswives got picked up for season two which I don't think shocks anyone No everyone's talking about that Where's my Madison? Oh I didn't save it Then there was also

The Fox Upfronts Baywatch ladies were out Brooks and the girls I saw Brooks Livy and Shea Mitchell Is she Mitchell in it? Yeah Okay And Hassee Harrison

Hassy She could go on namesake She could go on namesake And then also Amazon up fronts. I didn't really see much about that. Yeah, there's a new show called Reality Retreat, which is coming on Amazon Prime Video, and it's about like 13 reality TV alumni women who are going on like a wellness

retreat designed to challenge their identities, relationships, and personal growth. The cast includes Kenya Moore, Margaret Joseph's Kim Zolziak, Christine Quinn, Brittany Cartwright, Tamar Braxton, Caitlin Bristow, Jen Tran, Savannah, Prisley, Ilaria. Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah, this is just giving like another one of those shows. It doesn't sound that good.

It sounds really bad. Like there's really no, there's no hook what we're gonna go watch them do a wellness retreat. Therapy, I'm all set. I also think that for a while there was this genre of shows

where they were like collecting random reality stars like making them do challenges and they were never very good. House of Villains, MTV is the challenge. And X on the beach. And then like traders really sort of leveled up

that. genre of show where it's like we can't just watch garbage like that anymore we need more compelling content so that's why that mafia show that hulu announced does sound like it'll be good there's like now this genre we can't like no more garbage yeah yeah this sounds like garbage it's it's it's from amazon it's like their take on trying to get in the reality game like it's so random jeff sit down Seriously And then there's Oh apparently

I think Netflix Supplerents are today And they're announcing the name of the Earl family show Is it not Earl Girls? Would it be like Real Earls? Real Earls? What if my name is Earl?

I thought it was Earl of Sandwich What did you think it was? I thought it was like Already decided Earl Girls I didn't know we were like waiting for it. I'm pretty,

sure it's the old girls even though it's kind of hard to say now that I keep saying it i think it should be reall earls i think it should be getting activist with the realis what do you think yeah i think that's good or it could be like get something get real with me i don't know earl girls but it's also like about her family and her parents it's all girls except her dad i think he's a mean character but he's like the earl girls manager. I am really looking forward to that show. I think it was going to be Earl Girls, we would have already known that. I think it's going to be something different. But what I'm saying is that like I did know that. Do you know what I mean? Like yeah, but that's from like years ago.

So yeah, when she first popped off, there was like a false start where she was trying to get her sister and her stepmom and like all this, you know, different ancillary characters trying to get them off the ground. And they were shopping a show around that I believe was called Earl Girls. And it didn't really, it wasn't the right time. So I think she put her to on the back burner. And then it kind of happened organically where people were like really into Ashton and and then the stepmom. And so now I think it's the right time.

I actually don't know if Earl Girls is the right name though. We'll see. It should be Love Thy Earl. No, I think it should be Earl Thy Nader. I think it should be keeping up with the Earls. Ooh, I like that. Living Earl. Yeah. So that's a bunch of new programming. There's a bunch of more stuff. But, you know, check it out.

Cool. Check it out. Next story is one that I'm really excited to share with you because Kylie Kelsey won the Webby Award for Podcast of the Year. Oh, wow. She gave a very inspiring five-word speech after winning. So the thing about the Webby is that I only recently learned is that when you win an award, you're only allowed to make a speech that's five words. Oh, I didn't know that. So everybody prepares the five words because I remember Jake Shane won one.

Remember Kim did nude selfies till I die Like a million years ago Oh funny So people like I don't know if you know you're going to win But every nominee has like an idea of what they're going to say That's a really cute concept I didn't know I'm glad for that backstory Because I was about to be like why

What was the speech? So here were Kylie Kelsey's five words For winning podcasts of the year Not me, us go birds Right? Women supporting women go birds Why women supporting women? Like for real.

Why not? Why not? That's crazy. Who else was nominated? I also think it's crazy that she won because like she didn't have the podcast of the year. Like maybe the year before. She had a big launch. But I think she just has like regular podcast like everyone else now, you know?

Yeah. Okay. So here were the nominees for, Good Hang. For podcast of the year. How am I ever going to find this? Okay, whatever. Like, I was just curious.

Like, was Amy Polar not nominated? I'm sure she was. Okay, anyways, women supporting women go birds. Inspiring. What would your five-word speech be? I got mine. Okay. Thank you.

Grab a spoon. Mine would be the place looks great. Period. Okay. Well. little it always does. It would be, well, the place looks great. Perfect.

Perfect. I mean, I could go up. Fun exercise. Yeah, I could go on forever is what I was going to say. I could also do. There is no 5K. Bloom where you are planted. I got it.

Look at us. Lead in ordinary life, flabert. Be here. violent in your work. That's really good. If we won together, maybe we could get like two sets of five and then we could complete the flubbert quote.

Actually, I really have the best one. This is for the swirlies. This is for the swirley. That's five. Yeah. Yeah. I've got that swirla. I was just doing that one.

We've got that swirla toad. Exclamation point. No, swirletude is a hyphenade. It's two. That's really fun. Anyways, women supporting women go birds. Okay. I thought you would love that.

I just feel like there's seriously two different types of podcasts out there for women. The first is women supporting women go birds. And the other is we've got that swirlitude. Like, that's just the opposite. Like, I would never. And the funny thing is, like, what I've come to learn is, like, I'm actually a woman who supports other women. Like, a lot of people just talk to talk when I actually walk the walk, like taking all the hate I've taken for Blake Lively. So it's like funny as like an actual woman who supports other women, you know?

Yeah. You would just think like Kylie would clown on stuff like that. Absolutely. I don't really like I don't listen to her podcast. So I don't fully understand like her ethos, you know, like what her brand. Because she's like raw and real. And then she says stuff like that. And sometimes that means like you're not supporting women if you're raw and real.

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm not sure. Well, are you ready for our next story, which I guess is our fourth story? Wait, how? How? Because we did Sports Illustrated up front and five word Kylie Kelsey. I forgot about Sports Illustrated.

So our fourth story is that Benedict Cumberbatch had a heated 10-minute road rage fight with a cyclist. Yeah, I saw this video. I forgot about Benedict Cumberbatch. Well, I didn't forget about him. I just don't know him because I don't, I'm not familiar with his work. Like he's someone who has really missed me, which is funny because you would think that, like, he would be one of my genres,

but he's really not. I just saw that movie about, it's not about, but like the place where the Rose Code took place. Oh, Bridge of Spies. No, that's Tom Hanks. The, um, the Rose Code one, where they're cracking like the Nazi, the Iniquel machine.

Imitation game. So, he's in that, right? Yes, I did not see that, but I read Rosecode. Right. I think that was my first time sort of, interfacing with Benedict. And let me tell you, I know this is not a surprise, but he was a very good actor.

Yeah, no, and he's in a lot of stuff like Sherlock Doctor Strange. Yeah, he's like a major. The Hobbit. And it's just like all things that I happen to not watch. Right, right. You would think that I would. However, one work of his I've watched backwards and faux words. Is his video

with the cyclist? No, is The Grinch. He plays the Grinch. I thought you were making a joke like a piece of art that he's that you've seen him in is the video of him and the cyclist to be honest I didn't really watch the video because like to me benedic Cumberbatch like he's not one of my famous people you know he's not my celebrity yeah this like didn't move anything for me but I just love to see celebrities like acting out of turn although I do feel like the headline was misleading like the guy was following him like get away yeah it would be like I guess for other people the way it would feel for me if like Matthew

from downton abbey was like fighting in the street and having a road rage incident well now that you like that i actually think that would be in same. Right. So like that's what it's like for the cumber batchers. Yeah. And also he doesn't go out a lot. Like he's not a celebrity who's getting spotted. And he's just like a very like erudite actor. So whose like roles are not Congress with road rage. Yeah. He plays like often like a nobleman. Yeah. Like not Congress with like fighting in the streets. Yeah. It wasn't like really fighting. It was like a lot of like, you know, stern finger pointing. But I think the guy was following him. Celebrities love to ride bikes like in major cities. You know, one time I saw Alex.

coming on a bike before traders. Yeah. Yeah. He was fighting, I guess. I don't really. I don't know. But like, so I don't have an opinion. I don't know if he was right or wrong.

Like, is this an Alec Baldwin situation? Oh, oh, oh, no. I don't think that like the veil has been lifted and Benedict Combrach is actually like an evil guy. He's a monster. He was driven to this point. Road range will do that to you. And that's the thing.

They say death is the great equalizer. Now, it's road rage because even your faves experience rage on the road. Really? I try and keep it even feel. I do. I know. Like you and Ben actually have like a serious case of road rage. Jackie, I think like that's universal.

No, no. I think I would agree with you like there's frustrations out on the road. Frustrations for sure. But you and Ben suffer and both of you at a very high level from road rage. I don't think that that's true. Actually, I think we're extremely. when like someone's just like and like the road is but you're like driving miss daisy with your like tiny little three miles an hour like no no no and by the way i do speed a little but you yeah i speed a little

you get you have road rage all right fine me and benedict comer match and ben's suffer i think you guys sort of like bring that out of each other i feel as though when i came up of been discussing benedict cumbratch the entire time it's crazy that his name as benedict it's like it's a name as benedict it's Yeah, no, it's a big name. And don't you find that Mr. Arnold, like, ruined that name? Because now, like, Benedict is sort of a verb for traitor. But it's a beautiful name. If you really take it down...

And it doesn't go by Ben or anything? If you take it down to the studs. Benedict. It's historic. No, and it's it, you could go by Ben. You could go by Dick. But don't you... You could.

Don't you feel like Benedict Arnold very much did for the name Benedict, but, like, Hitler did for the name Adolf? Like nobody named their kid Adolf after that. Well, well, first of all, Benedict Cumberbatch, not Cumberbatch, sorry, Benedict Arnold, while a traitor to Americans is probably a hero to the British. Oh, that's true because, you know, history is written by the victors. Yeah, so, like, he was fighting for the British. That's probably, that's their guy.

Like, oh, he was in there like a Trojan horse. Oh, right, right, right. Put his life on the line. Probably associate him with one of the greatest spies. He's there, Eli Cohen. It's actually so true. Mm-hmm. I mean, looking at this from such an American perspective.

Yeah. Zoom out. But I feel like Adolf, like even to the Germans. They'll Adolf ruin Germany too. Right, right. So even like his loyal subjects, we're not down. No, no. Like, so it's not the same.

And it's not like it's such a beautiful name. Like I feel like the country probably had like an easy time parting with it. Because it's kind of a go. No, I think it's a nice name. Think about it. Adolf? Oh, no, no, no. Benedict.

You know, that's what I'm saying. Like Benedict, they maybe like had a hard. type party with because it's a beautiful name Adolf? Yuck. Well, yeah. The Adolf looks beautiful. I feel like there are names. It always does. I feel like there are names similar to Adolf that like could scratch that itch if you really wanted to to go Aid off.

You know? Like. Like Rudolph. Sure. Okay. There's also another one. Wait, hold on. I need to.

C.C.'s chill. I just need to um like henrich oh no is Rudolph Rudolph yeah it's a good thing like Stalin went by his last name because Joseph would have been like a tough name to lose we couldn't part with Joseph yeah not him having a biblical name yeah Heinrich I feel like that one sort of but I do think Adolf was a little bit of a trendy name you know because like Joseph 1930s energy because Joseph like it is timeless yeah it precedes Stalin. There's so much history to the name where it's like Adolf was just sort of. Very much like aged himself. Yeah. Yeah. It's very trendy. That's beautiful. Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Rudolph. Rudolph, he was the prince of Austria. He was also the red nose reindeer. Classic stuff. Is the fifth and final story brought to you by Yahoo Mail Planner? Yahoo! Yahoo! Mail Planner brings your task and events together all in one place so everything stays organized and you don't miss what matters. So if you have a busy life, whether that's friends, family work, you should get the Yahoo Mail Planner. It makes your days feel so much less scattered and you're not like being, you know, taken across a million different places. So if you're looking to get your life a little bit more organized, check out the Yahoo Mail Planner. It's everything all in one place, your tasks, your events, all together. So the planner brings your tasks, reminders, and events into one simple view.

So you don't have to jump between apps or piece together your day. You're going to get a clear, organized view of what matters most. So that's your appointments, your deadlines, your to-does. You can quickly understand your day without digging through emails. You can also like, you know, make it super organized if you have like, you know, soccer practice, pick up from school. It's all in one place. It makes it so much easier to just wake up and tackle the day. It's automatically organized from your inbox. So Yahoo Mail planner pulls key details from your emails like reservations, school events, bill reminders, and then turns them into actionable plans, saving you time and effort. It's built right into Yahoo Mail, so there's no extra steps. There's no

need to download or manage any other apps. The planner works seamlessly within Yahoo Mail, even with your Gmail connected, so everything stays in one place. You can stay on top of what matters most and not miss a thing. So by surfacing important tasks and events at the right time, see how Yahoo Mail planner actually works and check it out, the Yahoo Mail now with planner. Stressless. Today's episode is also brought to you by Good Ranchers.

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like, you don't know meat, so you just like want experts? Good Ranchers. And go to good ranchers. com and use Code Toast at checkout to either get $40 off your first order or $100 off your first three orders when you start your subscription plan this month. Today's episode is also brought to you by Squarespace, the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. you're just starting out, scaling a growing business, Squarespace gives you everything that you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website. You can grow your brand and get paid all in one place.

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And then once you're ready to launch, use code T-O-A-S-T for 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Thank you, Tert, Maine. You're welcome. Our fifth and final story, a little book-to-movie news. Do you ever read The Midnight Library? No, but I also heard Beatrice Reed is going to theaters. Beatrice is going to theaters.

And the Midnight Library will be a film adaptation starring Florence Pugh. So Midnight Library, which was a Redheads book, was the number one New York Times bestselling 2020 novel. It was the biggest book of the year. Yeah. It was a- I started it. I didn't like it. I feel like it was the only person.

It's a very good book. Maybe it was just like not the vibe you were feeling at the time, but it's... Maybe I should get back into it. I just don't think it's your vibe It's like it's kind of dark You know it's not like super fun But it's insightful and was she dead? I forget

Yes, yes Okay She was on the brink And she got to like Well this isn't like a spoiler But it's like a magical She finds herself in a magical library That allows her to explore all the alternate universes

Of her life that she could have lived All the different choices that she could have made Right right I didn't care And no it's a great book Florence Puell will be playing Norseed the protagonist which I think that works for me. Like she's very bookish.

She's been quiet, no? Yeah, and she's a good act. Like, when she's tied to the project, it'll be a legit. Yeah. I do feel like when they adapt movies, they are always like pulling from the same pool of people. She's new.

I actually don't feel like she's new. Daisy Edgar Jones, Anne Hathaway. She was in Little Women, which was also a book. I feel like she's part of the book crew. And maybe there's just like a group of women in Hollywood who read. and when they hear that these books are becoming movies, they want to be involved because they know it's a really good story. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, the readers. Emma Roberts. Yeah, classic stuff. Yeah. So it's a good way to get good roles is to read. Yeah, it is. And that's a good. She's good.

I like her. Yeah. She's another one. I actually am not familiar with a lot of her work like just has missed me. But I will watch this. So she was actually. in Oppenheimer. I saw her,

I saw her boobs. Didn't see it. I saw her boobs. I didn't see it. I didn't see Don't worry darling. I didn't see little women. But don't you think it's crazy that there were boobs in Oppenheimer like so unnecessary.

Of course there were boobs in Oppenheimer. Of course. Why? Of course. Who would Oppenheimer be without boobs? How could you make a movie about the atomic bomb? Right. Without some boobies.

How could you do it? So if you haven't seen Oppenheimer yet, like maybe now you will because I told you there are movies in it. And that's precisely why. Now I'll watch it. Why the war was won. It's why the war was one. Well, maybe it was a reason to keep fighting. The bomb looks great. It always does. Let's dive into Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment every Tuesday. Jackie and I pick three submissions from our community. People write into us at Deer Toasters at gmail.com or head over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. So you can, you know, hear from us if you're going through any sort of issue at work, at home. Are you ready? Dear Toaster's Light Edition. Thank you.

Hey Jackson Turt. It's my first Mother's Day. Oh, no. Sorry, not me actually reading a sentence. I wasn't there. Happy first month. No. Let's try this again.

Dear Jackson Turty. First, happy Mother's Day to my two favorite podcasters. I gave birth to my son a week ago and we named him after my husband. We were in the newborn Hayes sitting around talking about what to do for my first Mother's Day when the doorbell rings and flowers arrive. I open the card and it says, Happy Mother's Day from your favorite, X-O. Jenny. Jenny is my sister.

Right away, I'm confused because the flowers look half dead and the note does not sound like her at all. We had also just been joking about how people keep bringing flowers for newborn gifts and it's literally the least helpful thing you can bring. So I text her asking if she sent them and she says no. Then she texts my parents to ask if maybe they sent flowers on her behalf and they did not. Later, we look again at the delivery slip to figure out who actually sent the mystery flowers and it turns out they came from my husband's company.

The problem is that my husband has no idea who Jenny is. For context, my husband is loyal and present and truly the last person on Earth who would have the energy for a double life. He works for himself running a distributor for medical supplies with one employee. He's technically associated with the larger corporate company, but he doesn't have any co-workers in the normal sense. There's no office full of people where some random Jenny could be lurking. We also follow each other on Find My iPhone, so there's literally no room for secrets or anything. Now I am one week postpartum holding a newborn and staring at these wilted flowers from someone named Jenny. And I cannot tell if this is a mistake.

I cannot tell this is a simple mistake, a weird mixup in the corporate system or something else entirely. So what do you think? Okay, so it's very weird and it's giving spooky and like, oh gosh, we need to, you know, go on an investigation. We need to do an investigation into your husband. But I'm going to operate, like, what you're saying is true.

And I do think there's at a certain point, like, if you have your husband on, like, find my iPhone. And like, he's always home saying you work somewhere. Like, you know where he is at every minute of the day. Like, actually, how could he be conducting an affair? Right. And I also want to say, like, you are a one week postpartum. And I want us to like pocket this information.

Remember that it was weird and forget it. Like you can't make yourself crazy and sick. I think we just need to just give your husband the benefit of the doubt. Assume that it was a mistake. Maybe the flora sent it to the wrong. I mean, even though it was happy first Mother's Day. It's very weird. But I think the weird part is that the flowers are dead.

That's where it's like a spooky. It's like spooky and ominous. Yeah, because a florist would never deliver dead flowers. Like, yeah, call the florist shop. Yeah, if you want to investigate, my first stop would, of course, be the floral shop as well. Yeah, you should call the floral shop. And also, like, you should let them know they delivered half dead. Like, how could they bring that to your door?

But I also, like, you don't need to make yourself crazy about this. Like, if your husband is a line-cheating scoundrel and he's having an affair, you know what? You'll find out soon enough. Put it off a couple months. You just had a baby. We'll deal with that in a couple months. And I don't think that he is. So why make ourselves crazy for nothing?

You know, sometimes, like, things do just get confused. And, like, do you even want to know that this week? Like, talk to me in three months. Yeah, yeah. For now, Jackie's right. Like, pocket the information, but, like, definitely spooky. Definitely spooky for sure. And I don't think he's lying cheating scoundrel.

I don't. Me neither. But this wouldn't be the time. This isn't the time for that information. Honestly, like, very inconvenient truth. Agreed. Al Gore said it best. Hey, girlies. You both are smart, beautiful, and skinny as hell. Literally can't even see you. I'm cracking out.

Anyways, that's how you get your submission read, by the way. Just call a skinny. My husband got me a diamond band for my wedding set for Mother's Day. Exactly what I asked for. Good job. Except, I saw that he purchased the ring on Amazon. Now, this would not be a problem if he had presented it as such. But he literally put my ring in a box from the jeweler that did my engagement ring and my wedding band. so he was clearly trying to pass it off his higher quality, but it's from Amazon. Should I confront him? Should I let it be?

It matches my real ban from the jeweler, but it kind of makes me sad that he's lying about it from Amazon. Is it diamonds from Amazon? I don't think you can buy diamonds on Amazon. You can buy everything. Is it lab-grown diamonds on Amazon? Or is it seriously a $20 ring?

I think it's a $20 ring that he's trying to pass off as like a $2,000 ring. He tried. Wow. I just like, I wonder what sort of place he has to be in and that like you guys are in where he couldn't just like be honest with you. Like I don't like deception. So like if it's like, why are you the sort of person who's like pretending that these are diamonds when they're not diamonds?

Were you supposed, are you supposed to be able to afford diamonds? Are you at that level and where are the diamonds then if you're earning that much? Or it's known that you wouldn't be able to afford that. So why are you pretending like you can? Not to theorize, of course. like maybe, you know, he lost his job or something. Or he spent the money on his girlfriend. Or like on his boyfriend.

Yeah, right, right. It sounds like he has a secret boyfriend. And he got the real diamond ring and you got the fake one from Amazon. See, things could be so much worse. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like deception, you know, especially in a, she said married. Yeah, you got to bring it up because of the deception. And like, I'm afraid, obviously I hate to make a mountain out of a mole.

Like maybe this is just iceberg and he's having financial problems, like something. So unfortunately, like you have to bring it up. Sorry. Yeah, I just don't feel like there should be secrets. There shouldn't be deception in a marriage. Like if you can't afford a diamond ring, don't pretend like you can. It's okay. Like we don't need a diamond.

Sounds like you have a band and an engagement ring. Yeah, sounds like you got quite a few. You've got to, you're stacked up. Like, so there's worse things than not being able to afford that diamond ring. But just be honest. I need honesty. I need to know the playing field. I agree.

And maybe, you know, this deception is indicative of a larger issue. I had a girlfriend. A queerness. Something like that. Yeah. Gambling. He spent, he gambled away your diamond ring money. Right.

Or. Or he spent it on, you know, gowns because he's a cross-dresser. Like, there's a million things. Or. Dear Toaster, like, you seriously never fucking know. How about these mental gymnastics? What if he bought a ring that he liked the design of an Amazon to see if he liked the design? And then he took that to the jeweler.

And the jeweler made a real version. And so you saw that he bought a ring like that on Amazon, but it was in the jewelers box because he bought it for real. Yeah, and then you bring it up and you're just like the asshole. Like he went so far out of his way. To like get a sample. Right. Bring it up.

Yeah. Third and final. Hey, Jackson, Claude. Sorry, Claude. This might be a little triggering considering the recent events that happened to you over Mother's Day, but I need advice. When my husband and I got married, we both agreed to quit vaping for our health. I got pregnant right away, so it was very easy for me to stop.

and he said that he did too, but I've suspected that he has not. Back in February, I saw him outside clearly vaping and he denied it. This past weekend, we went out of town for a wedding and I found a vape with a half-empty pod in it and a package full of pods. I didn't bring it up then because it did not want to ruin our weekend, but now I'm not sure how to approach it. I'm pissed about the vaping, but even more pissed about the lying. I also care about his health and I want him to be the healthiest that he can be for our son.

How do I talk to him about this without turning it into a fight or feeling like I'm nagging? That's really annoying. It is. like as somebody who successfully quit vaping and not because I was pregnant. Like, yeah, it's a little easy to quit vaping. Like, you have, like, literally no choice. When you're doing it, like, to support your wife,

like, you kind of have a choice, right? But your initial reasoning together for stopping was, like, to be healthy and for your future children and not your current children. So once again, it all leads back to deception. Yeah. But maybe he has, like, such an oral fixation on the babe because he sucks a lot of sick.

Maybe he's, like, also stopped, like, being gay. So this is sort of a placeholder. I'm feeling very unsympathetic towards this man. Like I don't think, I think like, yeah, quitting vaping would be a challenge. But it's really not that hard, you know? Have you, try being pregnant. Like go to war, you know?

Yeah, right. Got a job. Quitting vaping, figure it out. I totally agree. Yeah. And also, what's worse than like you literally having proof of somebody? Like I saw you smoking. He's like, no, I wasn't.

But I see the proof But that also goes back to lies I don't like lies I know so it's always It's never the crime It's literally always Like if you said I saw you smoking And then he was like I know babe

I'm having such a hard time Like it's like I'm gaining weight And then I could be sympathetic towards that I could of course But there's a liar What I'm stupid? You think I'm stupid? Blind?

When will people learn that it's never the crime It's always the cover up? It's both. It is also the crime People are human like you okay, you have an addiction and you fell back into your addiction. Like, how can I be mad? Like, I get it.

The lying, when I'm literally watching you. I'm watching you smoke. And then I know you're a liar. And then I know you're a liar. And that's a problem for me. Yep. That's a problem for me because then I can't trust a damn thing you say. Abs of fucking lootly.

That's so bad is to be a known liar. It's actually very true. Your word means nothing. Don't do it, you guys. Your word is everything. It's all you have. If you don't have your word, word like you have nothing yeah my word is important to me and i think that's what makes you like quite a nobleman

thank you so much like benick come for ben correct thank you to everybody who wrote in and was vulnerable i'm sorry to tell you that like all your husbands are gay but like listen it's better that you know now yeah and just want to say that was such a better dear toaster it's like i can oh you feel better oh my god i can go enjoy my day okay i am having a smile maybe maybe if there is a dark one like i'll always limit it to just one out of the three and i'll make it the first one like we could do like a special edition. Dark version? Dark version where like I can get into the headset,

but like here we are swirling around. We got that swirl at tune. And then... Let's do Dear Toasters after dark on Patreon. I like that. Dear Toasters, Special Victims Unit. DTU.

Yeah. In the criminal justice system, sexually based submissions are considered especially heinous. In New York City and South Florida, the dedicated swirlies who investigate these vicious submissions are members of an elite squad known as the Swirley's Dear Toasters Unit.

Unit. These are their submissions. Quing, bling. Now that's, that I can do. Okay. Patreon.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the toast of the night and morning show where we tell the fast-time stories. You need to know everybody with your front and YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please don't feed to subscribing of a video, a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast. Anywhere a podcast can be found. So that's Spotify, Apple Podcasts and YouTube.

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