The Toast - Who's Your Tevye?: Wednesday, April 24th, 2024

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

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Good morning, Millennials, and welcome back to The Toast. Happy Wednesday, also known as Hump Day, right? Yeah. An amazing, gorgeous sort of weekly occasion here at The Toast. Weekly occasion. Bruno's here to celebrate. Bruno hasn't missed a day of work in about three weeks. Holy shit.

It's major for Bru. He did retire a few months ago, and he came out of retirement after losing all of his money in cryptocurrency investments and just bad choices. Speaking of rumors and financial decisions about a man named Bruno, I wanted to clear something up. I said on the show yesterday, apparently the rumor about Bruno Mars owing $50 million to some casino was like an AI generated rumor that I fell for. So it's not true. Added to the list with the Pope and his puffer coat. It's not true. And it's also true that Bruno Mars already has a Vegas residency. Great. And I know I didn't stand up for my boy yesterday, my boy Bruno the second.

I guess he's Bruno the first. This will be Bruno the second. Oh, when you said Bruno the second, I thought you were talking about Bruno Weinreb. Yeah. Even though Bruno Weinreb is number one in my heart. Of course. He's the second because he was named after Bruno the first. And he was born after. So even though I didn't stand up for bruno the first yesterday i just feel like everyone knows my heart and knows that i wouldn't have a slanderous thing to say about bruno the first i like literally don't know what we're talking about i'm saying this is what i'm saying out larped like i've lost we've lost the plot no it's just because their names are bruno both of them but that all is that to say is like i know know I didn't say Bruno the first would never.

Heather, why don't you just use real names for the sake of clarity? I know I didn't say yesterday, I don't believe you about Bruno Mars. He would never do that. Like I didn't say that. I didn't stand up for him because you were just like

slinging these allegations out of nowhere. Out of specs. Right. And I just trusted my sister. But I feel like everyone can trust and believe. Everyone knows my heart to know that I love and support Bruno Mars period I like literally don't even know what you're talking about I feel are

you saying like you're like a like a crazy Bruno Mars stan and that we like all should have known that you would never would have believed that he did anything wrong no I'm saying I'm a crazy Bruno Mars stan but I didn't act like it yesterday because I just took what you said as truth and I didn't stand up for him and I'm ashamed that. You guys know what's on my heart, and that I love Bruno Mars, and I support him. Yeah, yeah. You aren't getting it yet? You know, I get it.

A little. No, that's great. Am I speaking English? Sound off in the comments. No, I get it, I get it, I get it. I guess I kind of forgot. I wouldn't consider you like a Bruno Mars stan, but at the end of the day...

I named my dog after him. I love him. When the chips fall where they may, you are. Just like like you're a Shakespeare stan because you're named your dog Romeo actually named my dog Romeo because I wanted like a very small um the connection to a Taylor Swift lyric that was like how that's how the name Romeo got on the list oh of names um and then it ended up being the name and speaking of potential names for Romeo another name on the list that we were talking about this morning actually was Tevye which is you know a famous name from a famous film called Fiddler on the Roof that we actually watched last night now I know I have seen Fiddler on the Roof because there was a middle

school adaptation where Jackie played Chava and Olivia slayed the house down boots Olivia had graduated by that point it was my eighth grade play when Olivia was in eighth grade she was Belle in Beauty and the Beast and we have not talked about a single thing since that day little town so I know it's about Anna Tevka I know everyone's Jewish and I know that there in Beauty and the Beast. And we have not talked about a single thing since that day. Little town. So I know it's about Anatevka. I know everyone's Jewish and I know that there's daughters and the whole point of the movie is like getting the daughters married and the various journey you know that takes us on. I can't remember the last time I saw the movie and if I have seen the movie it was maybe one time. So we started it two nights ago. It's a very long movie so we're going to finish it tonight. We're watching it in installments

we made it to intermission last night but we still had an hour left So we called it And we're going to finish it tonight which I'm really really excited about It's probably far less than that because you know they made a meal of the credits Just like they made a meal of the credits in the beginning Yeah they did it was like a 15 minute credit intro And I'm loving it by the way Like first of all just watching it

Like with the girlies maybe it's just like better Because we're like giggling the whole time And we're hysterical And also I think it's really enjoyable because so many of these references songs that we sing and things that we say like we don't even realize hail from fiddler on the roof but it's nice to like place them tradition tradition tradition like of course, sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset. If I was a rich man. Co-opted by the great Gwen Stefani.

It is so crazy that Gwen Stefani sampled that song. I have so much respect. I feel like Gwen Stefani like gets called out for cultural appropriation a lot. And I guess in this instance, like, sure, she's appropriating Tevye. I love it for her. I'm so glad that she brought the song to millions of people. But it is a weird that there's a pop song out there where like the catchy hook originated from a, you know, an early 1900s Russian village.

No. And so it's a movie that's based on a play that's based on a book by Shalom Aleichem. He's like the classic Yiddish writer. Okay. So it goes way back and i just want to thank gwen stefani for bringing it into the fold deep cut it's a deep cut there are so many songs on there that i just really um match make a match make a make me a match find me a find catch me a catch which most people probably know from mrs doubtfire when he's being turned into a

woman and him and his brother end up making someone who looks like barbara streisand a babushka a babushka um loving every minute of it who do you identify with as a daughter as a daughter and it's a daughter and it's really crazy that tevye had five daughters just like theresa yeah how many daughters does theresa have four same thing i think maybe i identify with the second oldest wait i'm just thinking of a piece of content we need to make for our instagram later okay the cover of fiddler on the roof with all the daughters but identify with the second oldest wait I'm just thinking of a piece of content we need to make for our Instagram later okay the cover of Fiddler on the Roof with all the daughters but it's Teresa and her daughters okay love that I I don't identify with any of them like I see myself but the one that I like the best right now is Huddle the second well she also is the most beautiful

yeah she's the one who like looks the least Jewish also I like Seitzel I think I also love the name Seitzel I like can't stop saying and I'm like did you see what Seitzel I think I also love the name Seitzel I like can't stop saying and I'm like did you see what Seitzel was wearing she has a good head on her shoulders you know yeah and there's like such a popular restaurant in um it's in Brooklyn it's like an Israeli restaurant that everyone's been talking about it's like the hardest place to get a reservation and it's called Laser Wolf and now I understand why it's called Laser Wolf because that's the name of the butcher in Fiddler on the roof which is a great reference and a great name for a restaurant that serves meat agreed i just want to say laser wolf p-jom laser wolf got a bad at it you know no it's like it's

just not told from lasers pov so he looks like not even the villain but you just don't know like what's laser going through he lives in that big house widower alone He obviously has dealt with grief the passing of his wife. He's now dealing with loneliness He throws himself into work, which is why he's so successful I don't even know like what he saw in Seidel that made him fall in love with her and then to have that so brutally rebuffed after a night of celebration I do want to say sir. I do want to say that Seidel while she wasn't excited about the prospect of marrying Laser Wolf once she came to terms she would have had a good life and she would have been happy he would

have been good to her um and that's and by the way I love Motel who she ended up marrying obsessed like the poor Taylor he's so cute he looks like someone we went to high school with like obsessed now another thing I wanted to say that I feel like really was resonating with the current climate given what's going on on college campuses etc etc it's like the first half of the movie it's like silly village tings who am I gonna marry you know this guy thinks he's you know so smart like everyone it's silly village drama it's a soap opera if you will and then at the very end of the first act there's a pogrom where you know everything else is just sort of put into perspective who am I gonna marry who's doing the dishes like those are luxuries it becomes so irrelevant almost and I don't know what's waiting for me in the second half of the

film but I I'm sure we'll focus on more serious matters like the tsar and the programs and I feel like that's very relatable yeah no it's just Jews constantly being kicked out of their lands and it's like it's so funny because when you're in Russia, it's like, go back to Israel. When you're in Israel, it's like, go back to Poland. Yeah. It's like a circle jerk. Yeah. No. And it's like, it's just some things are eternal.

And that, I guess, Jewish hatred is one of them, which is just very sad. No. And watching a movie from over 100 years ago and seeing the same sort of trope and how it gets started, like he gets told there might be a program, but it's happening other places. It's not going to happen to us. Yeah. That's how it feels. And that's how it's always felt. Like we be a program but it's happening other places it's not going to happen to us yeah that's how it feels and that's how it's always felt like we've always seen it's like well it's not going to happen to us and now it's literally happening in New York no and it just morphs and it takes on whatever the flavor of the day is these days it's anti-colonialism anti-racism no and it's like stop the genocide

which there is no genocide and it latches on to a popular political movement it was nazism now it's pro-palestinianism yeah so but it's all the same but it's all the same and that's why when we tell you like anti-zionism is anti-semitism and someone who knows nothing tells you that it isn't they're wrong that's why yeah it's it's frustrating but no it's and also that's where we hail from so i don't know exactly when our direct ancestors came from Russia to America, but this is their story. This is our story. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's also why I feel like we feel so connected to it. And I don't know if it's like in my DNA. I don't think that it is. Maybe it's just a coincidence why I'm so interested in Russian history. And I always have been. I'm even reading Tsarina now, which is 1725. So it's like a little different but I just find it

so interesting maybe that's me like just trying to understand my people it's this instinctual sort of you reaching out to your ancestors it's your birthright yeah to understand I love that yeah anyways Serena's really good you guys still recommend and that's t-s-a-r-i-n-a not s-e-r-e-n-a yeah do you remember when I feel like I literally bring this up once, whenever we talk about Serena Williams, I talk about two things. Your college paper. Of course. The time that you met her, that we met her.

No, where we happened to have the ugliest photo ever taken of me on record. That's actually three things I say when we bring up Serena Williams. The photo, the college paper, and like, did that commercial for serena williams's fragrance leave an indelible mark on anyone else when they were like 11 years old where she had a perfume that was her name backwards because her name backwards is ineris yeah you've shared that before and i just thought that was like truly brilliant marketing like i never got over you got the bug i never got over it and that therein was like the seed planted. That's your origin story. Of the Serena obsession. Of how you got into marketing and media.

Thousand percent. And ended up reading Serena Williams. Oh yeah. In that truly fugly picture. That whenever we talk about people ask us to post. And it's so ugly I actually won't post it. I posted it one time and I put an emoji over my face. Like you really.

There's something special. You know what it is? That is my poot. Except the image isn't distorted. Unfortunately that's what is my poot. Except the image isn't distorted. Unfortunately, that's what I look like. The poot image isn't distorted. It was just like the cat,

the. No, no, it is distorted. Like the flash, like it literally, in that moment, she didn't look like that.

In the moment of the Serena Williams photo, that is what I looked like. Yes, no, but like the picture of poot is not distorted post photo. Like it was a weird lighting. The camera malfunctioned.

Plus the light, like and the flashes of the other. It was weird, but that was what happened. In my Serena photo, the camera worked fine. The lighting was fine. Like it was me. You were Poot. Yeah. Damn.

So. So Tevye. Tevye. As the good book says. Yeah, I think, I don't know how long the second half could be i don't really remember much else happening other than you know the emigration time i know like i don't want to spoil it for you no by the way there's also big news coming out of chava's camp yeah but those things are like kind of happened quickly do you know what i mean like all of a sudden like like Hodel and the socialists are like in love.

In a biblical sense. Like who's Hodel? Second daughter. Oh yeah. But he's Jewish, right? Yeah. But he's just like a radical. He's radical.

Yeah. That's fine. Actually these days that's like normative. Because Chava, the redheaded sister, like in a biblical way, I need to see her run off with the non-Jew. Like Ted's going to send Tevye into a tailspin. Especially after the pogrom i know when like our judaism and our faith are even more it's like these are he's people who committed this right so the betrayal is even deeper no i'm obsessed expect full recap on thursday's show tomorrow today we'll be doing the fast five and dear toasters the girlies are writing in and ai is taking a toll on someone's relationship okay it's time to move to the farm it's time to move to a farm this morning i watched

a video of ballerina farm milking one of her new cows classic breaking her in she did an amazing job i feel like she was really like she's obviously but she had a moment like a month ago or how long ago was that when like all we talked about was ballerina yeah like two months ago where lorina and everyone was talking about her it was you know we were talking about her but then she was the pageant it was just everything was coming up ballerina she also just gave birth right and it was like her eighth child the eighth wonder of the world so it was really um everything was coming up ballerina and now it's not and i feel like she's sort of you know didn't let it affect her like she's obviously still milking her own cows. The fame didn't get to her. She was bringing in a new cow showing what you should do to get the cow ready.

It's amazing. It's amazing what she's doing. It's giving Fiddler on the roof honestly. She's Tevye the milk woman. Tevye yeah. He's also the milk man in town. I highly recommend. We're watching the 1970s version which I think is like... The one. There's one before it, I think. Jackie and I also then got to talking about how the movie's really old, it's a classic,

and we're just waiting. It's gonna get redone soon. It's one of those movies that really needs to get redone every 30, 40 years. Claudia said that it should get redone modern. Please, God, no. It would be filled with Chloe Fin chloe feinman and like the rabbi from my big ugly bat mitzvah that female rabbi would be radicalized it would be

so offensive i want to say i do think because it's a really old movie i would love to have it redone but a few things need to be put in place there needs to be a committee that jackie and i are at the helm of an advisory council all decisions and casting like. There needs to be a committee that Jackie and I are at the helm of. An advisory council. All decisions and casting. Every decision needs to get passed by the elders. That's us. I would put on the committee like,

anybody I would put on the committee, I would put Jessica Seinfeld on the committee. She would be on my committee. Maybe I could put a Goy in there. Megan McKinnon could get on there too.

Okay. Just to preserve the sanctity of this film. When it comes to casting, it's so hard because who would I want to bestow this honor upon? I do think Liev Schreiber

could play Tevye. I think Sacha Baron Cohen could play Tevye. I don't think he's old enough. He's in his 50s. Okay, it's not a bad call. It's not a bad call,

but I do think Liev Schreiber would do like a better job. Another name swirling, Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler, yeah. Well, there's a lot of- It would kind of be like a real departure for Adam Sandler Adam Sandler yeah well there's a lot of it be like a real departure for Adam Sandler like a real character acting like Oscar worthy moment for him

I think the hardest thing to cast would be the daughters because I'm sorry like I will only be casting Jewish actresses and not just any Jewish actress it's such a it's such an important piece of literature in Judaism like you have to be above and beyond in terms of your activism and your pride when it comes to Judaism. Lea Michele. Even though she's not the most proud, but she's an amazing Jewish singer. By the way. She gets the role of Seidel.

One thousand percent. I didn't even think of that. And you know who's Muddle. Okay, but you know Lea Michele's only half Jewish, but it's fine. It will allow it. It's fine. You know who's Motel? Let me think.

Let me think. Let me think. Jonathan, her boyfriend in real life Jonathan Groff He's Jewish right I don't know And that wasn't my answer Timothee Chalamet Singer

Actor I could see him playing A poor tailor for sure Jew tailor I like it Now let's move on To the second daughter What's her name

Huddle Gorgeous girl She's like the most beautiful Let me think Let me think Let me think I need a list Because I like I don't know who's like

They're supposed to be young Remember these girls Are like probably Supposed to be young Right 18 They're not old maiden ones Okay wait

Well we have to throw Emmanuel Chikri in there Okay But she's I think A little aged out of the role Yeah Same with Mila Kunis There's no roles foras there's no roles

for them there's no roles for them no there's not sorry wait i have i didn't know she was jewish but and she does sing diana agron she there's no role for her okay i'm not seeing anyone i guess if we can cast leah michelle we can cast diana agron no you're right. But maybe, maybe we're getting some, some like no names. Some we're,

we're discovering some talent. Yeah. I mean, I would love to cast myself in there. Which one would you play? I mean, Scar Jo. Scar Jo needs a role.

Scar Jo, is she Golda? That's like kind of rude. Yeah, no, she's too young for that. No, but the thing is what, she's probably 35, Scar Jo.

And like the girls are 16 to 18. And then Golda and Tevye are in their 40s maybe. I know who plays the teacher radical communist, Adam Brody. Too old. Fuck. No, like Timothee Chalamet and his elk are perfect. Yeah, but who's like of that age of that elk? I'm Jewish.

And proud Jewish. There's a lot of Jews in Hollywood who are truly the woe. Yeah. And I won't be casting Ben Platt, even though he's perfect for it. Will not be casting Ben Platt. Will not be casting Platt comma Ben. But you know what I might do? I might have him audition and bring him all the way to the end and waste his time and then get him down to like number two

while knowing the whole time that he'll never get it. I'm really trying to, oh, Lily Collins is Jewish because she's giving second daughter. Yeah. I'll allow it. So we have work to do. Sound off in the comments, which prideful Jewish actresses would you cast and actors

in Fiddler on the Roof Jackson and Turdy's version J and C V J and TV J Jackson Claude Nicola Taylor's version

TV JTV JTV Okay So that's something We've been working on A project we've been talking about What have you guys been doing?

A passion project A passion project Even though I feel firmly Like there's no way That they could redo Fiddler on the Roof And not ruin it No and we're never gonna get

like an iconic actor like Topol, who plays Tevye, who we were just researching earlier this morning, ended up being, he like worked in the government for Israel.

He was like a Mossad spy while using his celebrity to leverage, you know, leveraging his celebrity to do that. Yeah, he played Tevye on Broadway for like

over 30 years. Not Broadway, in musical. In different versions. What's, everything to me is Broadway. Adaptations. If you're on a stage, it's Broadway. Dream big.

Couldn't be further from the truth. But I don't know. I could see Liev Schreiber also being an agent for Mossad. I'm voting for Sasha Baron Cohen. I think he'd slay the house down boots. Sound off in the comments. Liev or Sasha for Tevye? Who's your Tevye?

Title. Who's your Tevye? Find your Tevye Tevye Who's your Tevye Title Who's your Tevye Find your Tevye No who's your Tevye Yeah Like who's your daddy Love that But I just want to restate

Please don't remake it Please For the love of God And if you do remake it It is of paramount importance That you have some sort of committee in place With the elders of Zion That's what the committee is called The elders of the protocols of zion the church elders like that's

what they need to keep it in check and make sure they don't go all hollywood you know yeah yeah it's gonna be woke tevye is like you know something i don't know yeah i won't allow it oh funny to think about now we have five, but we also have dear toasters. So I'm going to, you know, make a executive decision. Maybe Tevye, like, makes almond milk as the milkman because he doesn't want to abuse the cow. He runs a dairy-free milk farm that is also a safe space. Yeah.

And then, like... No, I'm telling you, Hollywood could do it. They would make it like crazy. Yeah. And I feel like when he's in his barn like singing. Yeah. There's some cross dressing. For sure.

Like they're, they're going to. The options are endless to how you could ruin this movie. And we won't allow it. So now without further ado. Yep. It is time for the fast five stories that you need to know. And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Thrive Market. One thing everyone has to do is grocery shop. So why not do it from the comfort of your couch? For me,

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Code toast for 15% off your order. Your order. Your order. Are you ready for our first story? Yes. Some kind of unfounded rumor news that I am going to take to be true. Okay. Daniel Tosh claims that Kylie is pregnant with Timothee Chalamet's baby.

So Daniel Tosh went on his podcast and said that he was at a Malibu grocery store that had been closed the day before, and he asked the grocery store worker why they were closed, and he said, oh, well, I can't say, but they were filming the Kardashians here yesterday, their show, and so they shut down the whole grocery store. And the scene at the grocery store Kylie tells her family that she is pregnant with Timothee Chalamet's baby. So let's first talk about like the validity potential validity of the rumor. I will say I really appreciate him explaining how he found

this out. It sounds plausible. It's not like the craziest thing I've ever heard. No, I think that as far as merit, there's very little here. You know, why would they announce her pregnancy in a grocery store? That's the fatal flaw of the rumor, is that even if she didn't want to make it like the biggest deal ever, she certainly wouldn't share something

that's clearly very secretive and under wraps in a grocery store in public. She would like invite everyone over to her house. Right. So I don't think that what Daniel Tosh heard is true. I don't. And TMZ has already said that it's not true. But I want it to be true.

And so I'm holding space for both things. Like realizing it's probably not true. But then like a little bit of like getting my hopes up. Like what if? How fun. Oh my gosh. Should I get pregnant now? be true and so i'm holding space for both things like realizing it's probably not true but then like a little bit of like getting my hopes up like what if how fun oh my gosh should i get pregnant now like i want to be pregnant with kylie no i'm like timothy as a dad that's a really like strong like you know backbone no like seriously if you got pregnant because kylie was there anyone not even that because there was a rumor oh right and then it turns out not to be true and here you are like pregnant it was just it was a joke you guys but right. And then it turns out not to be true. And here you are like pregnant. It was just, it was a joke, you guys.

But that's how much I love this idea that she's pregnant. Sign up for the comments. It makes me want to get pregnant. If you think Jackie's not joking. I just feel like you're always looking for an excuse to get pregnant. Honestly. Yeah, it could be. Could be.

It has less to do with Kylie and more to do with me. Yeah. It's not like you being like, Kylie's pregnant. I'm going. I'm on my way. No, but like, let's say Taylor announced she was pregnant. Like, I would seriously like start trying tomorrow. I feel like she's one of the people who's like, would affect you.

Yes, that's what I'm saying. And there are people who don't affect you. Anyone older than you doesn't affect you. Even though Taylor's older than you, but she kind of. She sets the standard. She's been a holdout like you. Yeah, like, Jackie, whenever someone announces they're pregnant, Jackie's like, how does this make you feel?

I'm like, pulse check. Pulse check. Are your ovaries tingling? If it's someone older than me, I never think much of it. Like it's, yeah, that's what you should be doing. I'm 12. Old. I'm 12 and you're 30.

Old maiden. Yeah. When it's someone younger than me or my age, like it's a real tough loss. I'm not going to lie. And I always come up with a reason to be like, it's fine. If Kylie were pregnant with her third child. It would mean nothing to me. It would mean nothing to you.

Because like she's just like. You're on different tracks at this point. When I was 21. If I was a billionaire. I might also have three children now. Okay. If Kendall were pregnant. Would it mean anything to you?

Zilch. Okay. But if Taylor were pregnant. I would be like. Oh. Sure. Interesting. She might be the only like celebrity. I feel like it means more when people in your life get pregnant.

Not celebrities. No. No. I'm doing both. Yeah. I feel like it means more when people in your life get pregnant, not celebrities. No, no, no. I'm doing both. Yeah. I'm doing both. I'm holding space for both. Yeah.

So probably not true. Really hoping that it is. I would love that for them. I fully like, I love and adore Kylie and Timothy and I hope that she has his babies today.

And it's not the most outlandish, like the message of the rumor, the actual rumor itself, isn't the craziest concept. Like Kylie already has two kids. They low-key have been together for a while if they're still together. That's another thing is like, we haven't heard from them in a while. And the last thing we heard was like, maybe that they're broken up. Remember when

she said she didn't want to talk about it in that interview? Like, so I don't know. Like either they're having a baby or they're not together. That's how weird rumors can be. But that's how life works. Like you either shit or get off the pot you don't keep sitting on it love that so i hope there's a baby here and that daniel tosh's sources are correct it's possible what do you think when i heard it i don't know it wasn't the craziest thing i feel like it could be true but if tmz already said it's not but maybe they want to protect like maybe chris was like you shut that shit down no but if they're so protective over this rumor she wouldn't be saying it in a public grocery store right she would have done at her house right literally like in the

plane it doesn't make it doesn't add up yeah i'm gonna say no damn it's too bad it is too bad maybe one day another jewish kardashian we love. To play in Fiddler on the Roof. Are you ready for our next story? Yes. Something that's kind of a follow-up to a story from last week, which I didn't get to discuss with you, but that was Caitlyn Clark. She signed to the WNBA,

making a paltry salary for a professional basketball player. What's paltry mean? Like low. Yeah, of course. It was like $300,000 over a couple of years. Yeah, just's like 70 per year more or less she just set a new nike deal valued at 28 million dollars over eight years okay so caitlin clark's getting her payday because when ben and i were talking about this we were talking about how low the salary was but that she'll probably make about 10 that's's what Ben thought in endorsements.

And I think she already works with State Farm, which is obviously, you know, a big high paying company. So, wow. Okay, this is great. I'm so glad that she's getting her payday, which we knew was coming her way and it's not going to come from the WNBA

because, you know, you guys don't watch it and you never will. And stop complaining about their payday when you don't watch it. But then I saw Dave portnoy's take on this and he thinks that this is so criminally low for her 28 million 28 million dollars over eight years he said actually yeah like as a point of reference devin booker got 50 million dollars for five years 10 million dollars a year and like dave portnoy said every girl who plays basketball

is going to buy these shoes like every girl. She's going to out earn this so quickly. And this is insultingly low. You know what? I agree. Yeah. Because Nike's like, they pay just insane amounts of money. And Devin Booker is really good and really popular. And relevant in culture.

But he's not the number one of his gender. When you think about his, you know, standing as the basketball players of all time, he's kind of like irrelevant. Yeah. And she's like the best female basketball players of all time it's kind of like irrelevant yeah and she's like the best female basketball player number one of her gender and that's 50 of the market yeah do you think it's 50 of the shoes sold by nike are women oh that's a great question no especially isn't nike is jordan is part of nike i think like air jordan right the movie i think so, yeah. Right. So, I mean, that's like a huge seller.

But I wear... I wear Jordans. Right. Air Force Ones. So they sell to both. Google it. What percentage of Nike sales are men and women? Okay.

That was a fair point. Because honestly... Do you think any men will buy her shoe? No. Caitlin... But they were gonna... Listen. So Caitlin Clark, I wanna say, is like the LeBron.

Yes. What did LeBron get paid? Now, she shouldn but they were going to, listen. So Caitlin Clark, I want to say is like the LeBron. Yes. What did LeBron get paid? Now, she shouldn't get the same. But she should get the same percentage of her market. Exactly. But then to also think that 32% of women. That's pretty high. It's not half, but it's high.

And how many women basketball players have sneakers with Nike? Like she's kind of cannibalizing all the Nike basketball sneakers, whereas they have Devin Booker, this one, that one, this one, that one. She's the only one. Yeah. It is low. I like that take.

I'm happy she's getting $28 million but like that. She deserves more. I agree. Because she will probably sell more. She should also, I'm sure, and maybe she has this like in the deal, if she outsells,

she should get a percentage of sales yes so that way the more she sells the more she makes if she doesn't sell she doesn't make great i do really wonder what she doesn't make aside from her 28 million i do wonder what sort of impact the caitlyn clark saga will have on wnba ticket sales viewership if any because people really do love to and when i saw it i was like holy shit that's so low and I did then nothing after that to support the WNBA it's not something you didn't stream WNBA I didn't follow any of the teams like it's just not something of interest to me so I do wonder um because this is probably for the first time in a really long time where we're having that conversation about the WNBA is there going to be an impact we'll soon find out I think so because

people were referencing the final that she played in was like the most watched game ever for that category. So I do think that would translate into WNBA viewership in some way. In some way. To what degree, I couldn't say. We will find out. I will be really, really curious.

Yeah. And before you come at me, I don't watch men's basketball either. I said that with Mary when I said, I'm not at fault here because I don't watch men's basketball either So I said that with Mary When I said I'm not at fault here Because I don't watch either Ben has been like

Begging me to watch The Knicks or in the playoffs Like you You couldn't get me to care I don't know why And is he begging you To watch the WNBA So it's his fault

Yes Blame Ben Love that When in doubt When in doubt No but seriously At Ben we shout It's so crazy

How everyone was so up in arms But it's like Are you watching the WNBA No and I really will um I had a lot of respect for Tanya Radd posting like you know she was up in arms to modern women and then she told everyone all the things she was doing she bought a jersey she was putting her money where her mouth is that is actual like you actually care but just to sit and then complain and then not do anything well you're part of the problem Tanya Radd was like here are the teams I followed here's what i bought here's what i'm doing because she like that like you actually care she's action solution oriented solution oriented and the rest of you

guys not the twisters which are wonderful people but you know people society at large are performative just like complaining for the sake of complaining yeah a. A lot of talk. No action. All talk. No action. So congrats, Caitlin Clark. You deserve more. You deserve more. Well, I'm hoping there are other sponsorships. Obviously, this is an exclusive when it comes to apparel, probably. Sneakers, of course.

But there are other partnerships out there. Like I said, State Farm would be great for her. She's had deals with Gatorade. Love. Yeah. So keep on shining. But what does deals mean? Deals can mean an Instagram post you know That's true

I want a multi-year contract She had a four million A six She received offers of over 16 million dollars Over four years from Under Armour Six million over four years from Adidas Are you guys fucking kidding? Disgraceful

And I feel like these are the brands That are always trying to like move the needle on progress and like social change and it's like put your money where your mouth is so true put your money where your big fat mouth is oh she told you bitches all of you all of you you should be ashamed you should be seriously ashamed how much you give kanye facts facts of life the facts of life they should be like seriously ashamed how much you give kanye facts facts of life the facts of life they should be like seriously ashamed that that got out no also like do this is a german company correct all day i dream about sports all day i dream about hitler like adidas um like they actually low-key should have done more like when it came to kan Kanye given their background you know yeah giving their nationality I feel like they did everything they did no I'm

clowning on them I feel as though they did the right thing but it was just what did they wind up doing with all those sneakers also people are still buying Yeezys like they were kind of in an impossible situation people are still buying Yeezys except the real real and I need them to buy mine no they're buying again are they, I like have this box. Yeah. Of Never Warns. And you're not gonna wear them? They're so fucking ugly.

Oh. Like it's crazy. It was when we were brainwashed. No, I didn't buy them. We got them for free. Oh. From our gift when we released Kanye's song for him. A decision I don't regret.

And that was like my gift. I guess that was like my payment. And I want to sell them. Yeah. I'm like my payment. And I want to sell them. Yeah. I'm not going to throw them away. You can sell them. They sell Yeezy and they're accepting Yeezy. Are they going for a good price?

Don't worry. They're also doing Blunt's Yaga still. Right. Correct. Yeah, but it's so funny how their big announcement of canceling Yeezy was so loud and now it's like back. Now it's back. Yeah.

Quietly. Standing for nothing. Everyone stands for nothing that's what i'm trying to say you guys except the toast so do your thing man i'ma do my thing yeah everyone is so unscrupulous it's seriously farcical it's laughable it's it's so funny yeah they never don't disappoint are you ready for our next story i guess what number three yes some instagram drama in the bierman family oh my god i'm so glad we're talking about ariana bierman is slamming kim zolciak's clickbait post implying that cory bierman has died okay so kim zolciak's

latest clickbait post has given her daughter secondhand embarrassment through the roof. So she said on TikTok that she had a damn near heart attack when she saw her mom's black and white Instagram photo with her dad, Corey Bierman, and it was captioned, hashtag rip, broken heart emoji, hashtag link in bio. So. Okay. So Kim Zolciak does this thing and a couple of housewives have done it over the years. It's the Joju Dice special.

It's the Joju Dice special where they're getting paid to post links to like fake tabloid news stories that are very clickbaity that are full of fake news but they get paid to share those articles on their social media giving them a little bit more credence people do click it because it's like wait this is from yeah it's like theresa judas used to do it a lot i think that was like before you know jersey definitely made like a resurgence and she was still paying her restitution. So like she needed the money. Kim has been doing it so much recently. I feel like it's really emblematic, if you will,

of her dire financial circumstances. And both of her daughters have been speaking out about it on social media because a couple of weeks ago, she used this picture. Brielle, I think a couple of years ago, something happened. She either got into a car accident or she had her wisdom teeth taken out. There's like a picture of her in something happened she she either got into a car accident or

she had her wisdom teeth taken out there's like a picture of her in a hospital with like a tube in her mouth like it looks way worse than it is and she had posted it at the time being like I'm doing well thank you so much Kim posted that photo being like prayers for Brielle link in bio and Brielle and Ariana like posted on social media like on their tiktok being like yike like they're this is out of their control they obviously are not getting approving this and they're both been speaking out and this cory one is the latest one i understand the dire financial circumstances but it's really crazy to like use um the idea of your husband and children being dead or injured or hospitalized for clickbait like it's really crazy i just want to say maybe I'm so

Social media literate but when I Saw this hashtag rip like I thought it was like Rip the relationship because it was a picture of the two of them It wasn't a picture of just Croy I also feel like Brielle and Ariana need to kind of grow Up like wow Mommy's making money

Wow Kim should always fire off a text In the group chat All's well Yep Bout to post The thing is I don't know if the family Is at a point right now And I don't know much

But I don't know if they're In a group chat type of place Like I think they're all I think they're really broken You think they're not speaking Like I do Brianna and Ariana

Brianna Aren't speaking to their mom I think things are worse Than we know honestly Really That's just the vibe that I get I don't know that to be true for certain but also you said something and I don't think we I think we need to stress the importance of you are extremely social media literate and you have to think about

like bravo fans and social media users older women like they are not nearly as jaded falling for it and that's why they're swiping up and that's why she's getting paid the big bucks but i'm saying brianna and ariana needed to do better like know that yeah yeah yeah it's real it's a crazy thing to do and that makes me sad to think that they're not close i was operating from the premise like oh they're close and they're posting these follow-up stories that are also it's all part of the cycle right because now we're talking about their stories and we're all sort of winning here but like if you really saw your mom's story and thought that that was real like you should know better by now i follow ariana on tiktok and just the vibe that i get is like she's mad at her mom honestly but i don't know i don't know but she's close with brielle i think the sisters are good yeah

i'm just gonna call them brianna from i like that the sisters are good that's good and are they good with croy and are kim and croy still together? Or hashtag rip? Unclear. You know what I need? Hmm. I need to sit down one-on-one, Andy. He's done it with Luann. I think the issue is that he would sit down with her today

and tomorrow things would be different. You know, they're so back and forth. I need a State of the Union Bierman version. Like, I need to know. I really don't know what's going on in the marriage. I don't know what's need to know I really don't know what's going on in the marriage I don't know what's going on financially I don't know what's going on with the sisters and their relationship with their mom and this is a family I've invested years of my life to I guess I haven't been keeping up at all so I'm kind of where they left me which is like this is a happy family no I follow them all on social media and like it's

really bad but Brielle is I feel like you know if you watch the show she was like 18 and like you know her and her mom were like really close to the point where I think it was stifling her growth she didn't want to go to college she didn't want to move out she did move out and move back home she loved being with her mom she loved being at home with the chef and the kids and now that she's engaged I feel like she's really grown up a lot in the last year or two in part because she has this relationship but also in part because things have sort of fallen apart at home um and I do feel like. She's sort of. Like out of it.

I think. When she got engaged. She got engaged in Nashville. Remember. Or somewhere else. Outside of her home. Her family wasn't there. Okay.

But let me. See like. What the comments on her post. Like if. And I follow Brielle. On all social media platforms. She's one of my favorite people. To follow.

Yeah. Me too. Okay. Engagement pictures. Did Kim comment. Good question question but i feel like kim's social media activity cannot be like it cannot be an indication of anything that's really going on because i feel like kim's just like kind of like lost it honestly okay but if she did comment like it's so far down which doesn't really make sense let me go see if like they follow each other i feel like they definitely follow each other if i had to guess yes it's

devastating news did oh kim posted about the engagement i'm happy for brielle nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids happy it's the best feeling ever love you both to the moon and back and look forward to all the years to come now did brielle comment no did brielle like yes i feel like kim's posting on social media like all is copacetic all is good and what i get from the girls is social media is that there's more to it yeah okay yeah that's what i'm getting from this it's like there's not comments but there's likes even though that doesn't always mean something's negative because i like all margo stuff but apparently i don't comment enough oh yeah margo's like kind of like. She's been coming for the whole family that we don't comment on her stuff.

I don't comment on anything. I just like. Margo's also a shadow band for me. I was talking about that on the Patreon yesterday. Margo joined the Patreon yesterday. We did a video and audio episode with a tortured poets department recap talking about theories, our favorite lyrics, favorite songs, hot take. You know, some of us, you know, we're over Jack Antonoff.

But in the beginning, we did a proper catch up with the snitch because she hasn't been on the toast in a while you just know jack antonoff would be on the soundtrack for fiddler on the roof producing get rid of him you know who needs to be oh oh my god wait i'm so sorry i was thinking this last night do you know who needs to be in it i think he would be great as the role of second daughter's radical socialist friend josh groban Radical socialist Friend Josh Groban He's Jewish He is Yes Okay He's a little old

But it's easier for men Yes And also he could be old Well he came from University in Kiev So like he's supposed To be 20 but okay Josh Groban

Yeah And I need him To be on the soundtrack To lend his vocals Yeah And who's the guy Who did the Beauty and the Beast

Soundtrack Who we always talk about Alan Mankin Mankin And Bill Condon I need them both Involved in the project And then who we always talk about. Alan. Mankin. Mankin. And Bill Condon. I need them both involved in the project.

And then who's the other? Oh, Hans Zimmer. He's good. You know who I want on it? A trusted, not a Jew, but a trusted musician. Let me think. Not a Jew, but a trusted musician. John Mayer.

I don't know, there could be a million. David Foster. Agreed, agreed. And he gives like Eldritch of Zion energy as of Zion energy as well yeah no he's he doesn't feel radical to me he's approved like it can't be I guess you could do like an all Jewish production but like there's no need and there are talented Goyim yeah like they deserve the job too yeah if they can contribute and like lighting directors yeah oh of course no some of the PAs don't have to be Jewish yeah yeah just like on camera. Yeah, like the important roles.

Yeah, I think that's so fair. Me too. So, Croy Beerman is alive. Thank God. Baruch Hashem. Baruch Hashem. There is a God. Are you ready for our next story?

What number? Four. No. Okay. Is it our next story that's brought to you Perhaps by quints Yes it is The weather is Unfortunately getting warmer So it is time to say

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qince.com slash toast to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash toast, qince.com slash t-o-a-s-t. Today's episode is also brought to you by Mary and George, our new favorite show on Starz. Mary and George is a Starz original inspired by the story of Mary Villiers, who molded her beautiful and charismatic son, George, to seduce James the first and become his all-powerful lover throughout outrageous scheming the pair rose from humble beginnings and eventually became the richest most titled and influential players the English court had ever seen you know we love love love a biopic energy you know we love things a period piece we love stories based on real events and

especially ones we hadn't heard of the story of mary and george is kind of this crazy historical moment that i feel like most people don't know about before they they watch the show and it's stark studded so julianne moore and nicholas galatian are starring in the show critics are calling it obsessed calling it sexy witty and darkly rewarding you can watch mary and george only on stars and the stars app Starz and the Starz app. Jax and I, you know, we love a period piece, whether it's a book, a TV show, a movie. Mary and George is no exception.

Mary is played by Julianne Moore, and she pretty much, her character has nothing to her name, but she's desperate to elevate her social standing, which is a really sort of relatable character arc for someone like me. And then Nicholas Galitzian is in it, and he's just hot as hell. So watch it now on Starz. You can watch it in the stars app it's fabulous it's sexy it's period piece the costuming is fabulous the set design is gorgeous great characters great story and you learn something about history and we love learning things you know we love to do here at the toast

listen and learn so when we sit down to watch mary and george what are we doing we are listening and we are learning thank you la you're welcome our next story is a bit of shopping retail trending news okay srtn walmart is removing self checkouts and swapping back to traditional lanes in two of its stores which do signal kind of a landmark movement right if it works they're gonna do the rest in the biggest retailer now they say it's say they're replacing the kiosks with staffed checkout lanes, which will give our associates the chance to provide more personalized and efficient service. But the truth is it's because of theft.

Because people are using the self-checkout lanes, not swiping everything, and they are seeing those negative impacts in their bottom line but the thing is like why now put a nice employee who's just trying to do their job potentially in harm's way with a with a crime with a criminal i think criminal is gonna criminal right they're not also going through the checkout line to do their thing yeah but i do think the self-checkout lines have kind of made everyday criminals out of people who maybe wouldn't have been.

Because it's like, who's going to know if I don't swipe this one. That I bought two water bottles. Right. Instead of one. And I'm just, not me. No, I've never. I'm a law-abiding citizen like a fucking fool. Actually, you know, the one time I did steal something, it was completely on accident.

And it was at a self-checkout line at a CVS. And I went back the next day when I was in college because I was really sick so i went and i bought you know all i bought a heating pad i bought all the drugs over the counter and i forgot to pay for the heating pen it was like 40 so i brought it back the next day because i felt really bad well a fool's errand um but you know even for someone who's not trying to be a criminal people doing their absolute best to use the self-checkout machine properly even they could end up either just through human error or pure fatigue like it's not scanning it's not scanning it's a three dollar pack a three cent pack of gum i'm throwing it in the bag yes i i could see how

that might happen too i think there are degrees to the theft ongoing one just criminal activity being worse of course has really not much to do with the self-checkout machine. Two, people kind of realizing they can get away with stuff intentionally stealing, you know, but not thousands of dollars, but it adds up if everyone's doing it. And then three, human error. Oh, I thought that scanned. It didn't pick up.

I didn't see everything in my car. I'm certainly not going to work super hard to double check that everything in my basket scanned properly the right amount of times. Right. I definitely, I'm definitely like, you know, laissez faire when it comes to the self-checkout. Yeah. I think this is kind of a big deal if this is what it means for stores that, you know, Walmart's one of the biggest stores in the country, but this must be happening on smaller

levels everywhere else. Plus, I'm sure, you know, not having to pay people. They're saving the money. Saving the money. But they did build these big machines. You know how I feel about a self-checkout machine. It's crazy because on the one hand, I find them so frustrating and they're not intuitive. And that frustrates me.

But on the other hand, I don't like talking to people. So you would think like I would go for the self-checkout. But I'm a traditional girl. I like the lane. Well, I want to say that, you know, we've all now just started to really be able to manage the self-checkouts just as we're conquering them. We have self-checkout literacy.

But I do feel like having one in a store or two is so super helpful. You know, everyone's been in a grocery store where you literally are buying two things and the person in front of you is buying, you know, for a small nation and it's frustrating. And having that option is super helpful. But if people can't control themselves

this is why we can't have nice things and it you know we will suffer the common man who's not a criminal will suffer well they do have express lanes they're never open and this is the way we've grocery shopped for decades yeah so it's crazy we're literally moving backwards yeah as a society and you're right even though it's two walmart stores it's obviously a test to see how it goes it will probably be a bigger rollout and walmart is the biggest retail chain in this country everyone's going to follow what they do everyone already does i'm sure everyone's like been you know in secret meetings being like um these machines kind of stink and where profits are lower. It's disgraceful. So you played yourselves, everyone. I don't know what the windup was

on whether or not people like these machines. You know what? When I see them, because I'm a capable human being, I like them. You flock to them. I do. Now, I imagine an elder person might not.

And that's why we should have options for everyone. Yeah. But the future would be to have no attendants. Well, the real future, real future i guess is how they have have you ever been to one of those like amazon go stores where you like sign up with your amazon account and then when you walk out they scan everything that's in your basket and you don't have to pay you just walk out with the basket interesting well i use apple pay so i live in the year 3000 yeah we're kind of living in the future Yeah I've been to the year 3000 Not much has changed But I use Apple Pay

So yeah You're kind of not on my level Deal with it You know it's so funny have the Jonas Brothers Ever outsold Kelly Clarkson Like she remained on top you know All these years later We had outsold Kelly Clarkson.

Yeah, dream on. Dream on, dream on. Maybe they did. Keep canceling those European legs. Kelly had a few dark years. Yeah. And I think that that's kind of her Roman Empire and the chip on her shoulder. And I'm sure in those years, like her managers were probably like, if only you were like

the Jonas Brothers. But I want to say, I feel like Kelly's dark years kind of like lined up perfectly with the Jonas Brothers dark years where they were off like DNC probably never outsold Kelly Clarkson Jealous by Nick Jonas might have yeah it depends what you consider her dark years because I feel like there was two things one when her record label like kind of she had to switch record labels after American Idol that was when we got that album one of her really early albums like uh let me see which one it was I know the cover that was like a dark time for her but then I feel like there was also a time I'm talking about the second one that wasn't a dark time but she was criminally underrated my December yeah and industry people like wouldn't give her

the time of day empire where they were trying to make her someone she wasn't she had to switch record labels because of American Idol you don't know any of these songs really you know we need oh my god we need a Kelly Clarkson documentary yeah we do and I would say all I ever wanted and stronger were when she was like taking her power back but she wasn't getting the praise she deserves because those are some of the greatest albums we really really really need a kelly clarkson documentary i agree like a five-part series or a memoir memoirs of a kelly like yeah but i feel like documentaries just like have a way more people watch documentaries than read you know like and we needed to have the most sort of impact on the culture no but the thing is

kelly has her flowers now so it's not like people's minds need to be changed. I just feel like for Kelly, she has a chip. She hides it better. All great women do. She hides it better than us. She's got a chip on her shoulder. But I just know like she's thinking like, where were you for me in 2007? Yeah.

And I'll tell you, Kelly, I was listening. She was. She was. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Yes. Some legal news. The Senate passes the TikTok ban bill Setting up a legal battle between the app and the U.S.

On First Amendment issues So this thing is just like chugging along Chug-a-lug-a-lugging No, I just never know No, and it's like So does it need to still pass the House? Is TikTok open today? I also don't know

I feel like a couple of years ago Like we got to this inflection point again And still nothing happened So it's hard to like almost take it seriously because it's sort of giving boy who cried wolf energy. Yeah, the US Senate voted on Tuesday to approve a bill that would ban TikTok nationwide unless Chinese parent company ByteDance

sells its stake in the popular app. The development will likely result in a court battle between the US and TikTok, which argues that the legislation violates the First Amendment. And if TikTok loses that fight, there's a real chance it could be shut off for Americans. It's a big if, though.

Yeah, a lot of ifs have to happen. They could also sell. Correct. Which is what was supposed to happen last time. An American company, if an American company bought it, all issues go out the window, correct? Yeah. Yeah. Legally.

For this sake, yeah. It's interesting precedent. It is. I would say. It's interesting. Precedent, I would say. It is. It's so crazy. Of course, I have selfish interests in TikTok being banned. Yeah, you do. Me too. I don't have enough followers on there.

Ban it. So if you were in charge, and not based on Constitution, but based on your personal preference, do you want TikTok to be banned? Oh, that's such a good question. And don't worry about the precedent or like First Amendment issues because that takes all the fun out of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me think, let me think. I, no. Like really, if you woke up tomorrow and TikTok, no one could open TikTok anymore. The crazy thing is like my, like I love TikTok and I spend a lot of time on there. I don't think it would affect me so much.

It certainly wouldn't affect my business, which I think is great. That's why I'm not worrying about this the way other creators are yeah creators who's and so many this was like you know during COVID so many people quit their jobs became full-time creators and they don't have that sort of audience or engagement on other platforms they're not like multi-platform creators they're just TikTok creators and that certainly poses an issue for them and I'm sympathetic um fascinating answer the question no i wouldn't

ban tiktok i love it you don't want to wake up tomorrow and not be able to access tiktok i mean i think it would be really actually amazing for my mental health and my productivity but like who wants that you know okay we don't even need to ask you no i say yes we know i wasn't going to ask you the question back oh yeah i do like, there's so many different answers. Like if you ask me from any sort of perspective for the youth and for my future children, yes, I want a band. I think it's destructive for the health and sanity and the well-being. I mean, look at this generation.

Yeah. They're radicalized isn't even the right word. And I do think TikTok's a part of that. I think a lot of them go on social media and become radicalized and end up loving Osama bin Laden. Yeah, you hate to see it. So yes, for that reason, yes. Okay.

For my own personal entertainment. But that's because I'm sound of mind and I can't say that about everybody. Right. But don't you feel like it's hard to constantly keep these two things apart? Like to fight against the rising tides of TikTok trying to brainwash you?

Do you find that to be hard? Do I find it hard. To not get brainwashed? Do you mean? Yeah. No. And just like. To constantly be fighting against.

Like what you've. You know they're trying to do to you. No. No. Like I said. I am sound of mind. And I'm principled. And I know who I am.

And I know what I stand for. A lot of people can't say that. And a lot of. And that's not an insult to them. A lot of it has to do with age. And it being an app. That targets young people. While also.

It's not a coincidence. It's not. It's not. So. Yeah. I guess, I guess. Okay. Well, we look forward to more conversations because it seems like, you know, this is a lot of talk, no action yet.

All talk, no action. Like in court cases go on forever, right? I should be a jury member on this trial. You're literally not impartial. No, no, no. I would be the first one sent home. They would kick you off immediately speaking of jurors let's talk about the conspiracy theory that juror number nine in

the current trial against donald trump is a toaster now they released a lot of information about the jurors and i'm not i've not been following this but i follow motion on instagram and i was like wait what is this and i'm gonna pull it up and i have i have more to the theory obviously like it's really difficult to find jurors because you need to be impartial. But everyone who lives in America in some way is political. So they did this thing where they had all the jurors and they released information about the jurors.

Now, jurors are, of course, anonymous. But they released information about the jurors, basically saying- And where they get their news. Here's where they get their news. And here's what sort of media they're into. Now, a lot of people, there was one guy who listened to SmartList and they name dropped SmartList.

He said it was his favorite podcast. Oh, some of them said, I look at my information from NPR. So juror number nine, please read the statistics of juror number nine. I'm trying to find it. How many days ago? Yeah.

Like three days. And it was like a blue and white graphic. Black text. No, I know, but there's always a cover photo first, you know. Fuck. Hold on. You want me to look to it?

Yeah. The testimony began, which me to look to it? Yeah. The testimony began, which means they already picked the jurors. He posts so many times a day. Right. No shade. What would you pick for a picture of jury people? Like a courtroom of... No.

We'll get it. It's important. It is important. Juror number nine, reveal yourselves i feel like i'm too far down me two weeks ago yeah no it wasn't it was this week while we were together okay now i'm just gonna have to do this oh wait no like what is more uninteresting than this two people scrolling on their phones you guys just like you'll be okay got it where was it juror number nine she listens to podcasts about reality tv and gets the new york times and cnn newsletters now the latter half doesn't really sound like a toaster, but the first half, she listens to podcasts about reality TV.

However, I do want to say, if this person was a true toaster, they would know how much like this media moment meant to us and they would have name dropped. Perhaps, but no, that's why I feel like the media is censoring us.

I feel like it is. That's why it makes me feel like it is the toast, but they had no problem saying, oh, they're number seven is married with children and likes the podcast Smartless and Car Talk.

Right. They had no problem dropping those, but they don't want to give us any shine. That's why I feel like it's us. Well, juror number nine, I'm sure you're listening to this in between, you know, maybe on your lunch break, ignoring the other jurors. And if you are listening to this and this message does make your way and you are a toaster, let me tell you this. Reach out.

We will, of course, not reveal your identity. No, but like she seriously can't. You can't. I know. You can't identify after can't. I know. You can't identify. After you can. Yeah. And I hope she gives an exclusive interview to the toast.

But if you mess around with this stuff, well, first of all, they kick you off the jury. No, and it's a mistrial. And then we have no toasters on there. We're not getting involved. We're not getting involved. Of course not. We would never.

But jury number nine is a toaster. And we've been meaning to mention that. And you sound amazing. Okay, next up. Good luck. Good luck. Vote for for l vote for l next up is dear toasters our weekly advice segment that we do every wednesday here at the toast where you can write into us via email deartoasters at gmail.com or you can head over to our website the toast podcast.com and there's a little submission box it's totally

anonymous if there's something going on in your life and you're like i really would love to hear the swirlies you have a weekly opportunity to do that. So today we have three great submissions from three girlies in need. Okay. And our first one is tackling a very popular, debatable, widely debated subject here in America, AI. Hey swirlies, let me cut to the chase. My boyfriend was having sexual conversations with an AI robot chat. It had been going on for quite some time, so it wasn't just a one-time thing. He said he thought it was a real person, which I don't know if that makes it better or worse. How big of a red flag is that thing? That's cheating. He thought it was a real person.

That makes it so much worse. Makes it worse. By the way, let's go both routes. He either really thought it was a human being, which is worse. He's cheating on you emotionally, verbally. But let's say he thought it was an AI robot. He knew it was an AI robot and was like fucking around AI. He's cheating on you emotionally, verbally. But let's say he thought it was an AI robot. He knew it was an AI robot and was like fucking around AI. He's a freak. Yeah. And red flag goodbye. Like break up.

No, he's cheating on you, period. Break up with your AI chat because he's bored. Like goodbye. And also, I don't know. I feel like he knew it was an AI. And that's weird. Like he's robot sexual. No, no. It's giving that giving that movie it's giving ex machina did you ever see that movie

one day they're gonna like clip this and be like she said a robot sexual to rock and dory no but did you ever see ex machina no he like falls in love with alicia vikander and she's a robot and then she ends up like locking him in the house for all eternity but he was a freak and look he fucked around and found out because he ended up dying. So your boyfriend could end up dead. Do you want a dead boyfriend? No. Break, like, we hate to always.

This is clear as day. Yeah, we hate to always, when people write in about their relationships, we're always inclined to say, this is fucking weird. Break up with your boyfriend. And we try to reserve breakup. We always try to work through things. But this is very clearly a breakup with your boyfriend situation. So rip to this relationship. But good news is that you're single where we going Mexico all right next up

hey Jackson Turd I'm a huge fan I look forward to listening to you guys every day and I need some advice my husband of three years is truly amazing and I love him dearly however in the last six months he has become an actual doomsday prepper he's always been someone who has kept up with world news on a normal level, but lately he has been off his rocker. I'm talking we have an entire room full of dehydrated food, survival kits, gas masks, emergency plans, etc. And don't even get me started on the survival shows

he insists us watching every night after we both have worked all day. It's becoming annoying to listen to, and it's also getting hella expensive. Am I being an aggy bitch wife, or should I just tell him enough? Love a toaster who may or may not be in a bunker by the time you're reading this okay like here's the thing are you a doomsday prepper i'm not a doomsday prepper but like i sympathize and and i um like he's not entirely wrong for all that but the thing is like even if you're a doomsday person and you really think like all these things are coming you still have to like live your life and if it's this like there's always a little prep always good you know a judy kit that's what i was gonna say i'm not a doomsday prepper but i have kits in my closet

i have the judys a million things could always happen you know but you cannot live every single day of your life as if the world is ending because like then you're not living right and you might as well seriously the world might be over for you because you're not enjoying life. So I love a man who's prepared for all eventual outcomes. But he's got to get on with life. And he just needs like a little bit of perspective. And I feel like you can support him in his prep. Because at the end of the day, he's like looking out for you guys. But he has to live his life and enjoy.

And you, okay, so now you have the dehydrated jams. Like you're good. The gas masks. Let's go to the lake. The gas masks is crazy. It's good to have a gas mask no of course but to spend your personal free time like where you would otherwise be entertained consuming more content on survival like it's true you're not living life to the fullest and like let him know that he's more prepared than anyone else and the thing is if things like if there was something that he didn't watch that he needed to watch and you guys

like don't make it because of that then like it wasn't meant to be yeah you can't you have to kind of like let things go or they will literally like drive you into a bunker underground no it's true and this is truly how like crazy like you know you hear those stories about like the couple who lived underground for 40 years because yeah this is how it starts no it's like the book educated you should give him that book and be like do you want to end up like them no i like that that's a great dear toasters where we also recommend a book to the person in need yeah you should read that book great what's it called educated okay the true story i really like the be like this is what our kids are gonna this is gonna be their

life if like you don't stop this leave the jams leave the dehydration and the gas mask like they're over there don't worry let's go have a drink at the bar let's go girls yeah i love that okay a book recommendation for dear toasters yeah and like also seeing him you know recognizing like of course things could happen thank you for preparing for us we can't live our life like this we can't go on like this any longer all right our third and final dear toasters i feel like is sort of a universal thing that that we should talk about hey Jackson Claude I'm a Gen Z toaster here in need of advice oh she hasn't been radicalized yet I dated this guy in college who was a very typical frat boy it was not a great relationship we did

long distance in the summers and in those times I sent him quite a few explicit pictures we've been broken up for two years but I just know he saved those pictures in a secret app on his phone I randomly will think about the fact that he might still have them and i'm horrified at the thought that he might use them do i reach out after all this time to ask him if he deleted them or to delete them or do i just let it go and take this as a lesson learned sincerely a toaster with college regrets oh so with the advent of the cell phone i think a lot of people who sent nude photos like quiver like it's one of those things that keep them up at night yeah and it sounds like nothing nefarious has happened thus far I feel like I sort of want to alert him to the fact that

like this is something he has something of value yeah and he was such an asshole yeah and like let him know that you and also maybe he maybe forgot about that maybe they're on an old phone and then like you remind him that he has them I think it's something that you just. Let sleeping dogs lie. Yeah. And make peace with them. Think about the worst case scenario of what could happen with those. What's the worst thing he could do with them? I don't know.

Think about it. What's the worst thing to you? What are you so worried about? Like he sends it to your employer. Think about if that. First of all, like any employer that got some revenge. Like I would feel so sorry for this person. That would not affect my employment of them.

It also is illegal. Yeah. Think about the worst thing that he could do with them and make peace with that. Yeah. And see how like it would be okay afterwards. And I do think you have to like take it as a lesson learned. There's not really much you could do.

Even if you reached out to him, like he's not going to delete them if he's been using them. And if he hasn't been using them, then he forgot that he has them. That's the thing. He's not thinking about it as much as you are and if you send him a text message alerting him to that let's say you guys ended on bad terms or he's just a fucking prick he might go back into that old iphone start it back up and send them to the new phone let them

die on the old phone the more time moves on the more likeliness is that he didn't transfer them to a new phone yeah but what's the lesson here? And I think this is a universal lesson for girls in the digital age. I mean, every time I sign into an app, my password was leaked for my Instacart delivery. We are not secure. And I, not to be like a prude loser, I do not recommend sending nude photos.

I don't. So take that. If you have other advice or experience with this like please share because i i feel i'm asking listeners because i feel for this writer me too um that's a tough spot to be in but you have to make peace with it it's my advice i think so or else it'll just like eat you alive and jackie's right like the absolute worst case scenario that you can come up with in your mind in reality will never happen and two is probably not that bad it up with in your mind, in reality will never happen. And two, it's probably not that bad. It's worse in your mind. What's the worst thing?

I don't know, but whatever it is, you'll be okay. Know that. You will be okay. And the good thing about nudes is you obviously pour over it before you send it. So you probably look great. Yeah.

Nobody just takes a rogue photo. They look at every angle, every wrinkle, every crease. And you probably look great. So that's the silver lining. Very small silver lining. Yeah. You've gotta let go. You've gotta let go. This will eat you alive. Mm-hmm.

That is Dear Toasters and that is our show. It's been an absolute pleasure hanging out with you all this morning. Hope you enjoyed today's episode. Thank you so much for listening to The Toast. The millennial morning show where we deliver the past five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give us a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast and where podcasts can be found.

So, that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Gasbox, all the places where we send podcasts. Find us, the toast. Leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Hope you guys have an amazing, incredible day. And we'll see you tomorrow. Love ya. Bye.